#kid Alastor AU

[silveraro]

Kid Alastor AU

Alastor dies at 10 rather than in his 30s. He ends up in Cannibal Town and Rosie looks after him as his aunt. He's still the radio demon and an overlord, just with a bedtime.

Also he was grounded for 7 years and Rosie talks about child labour

#kid alastor au #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin fanart #hazbin rosie #kid!alastor

[blue-rose-soul]

For hazbin hotel au: what if alastor arrives at young age? Let say an incident which both he and his ma die at same time but because of his heritage, he got sent to hell, forced to survive in the streets until he meet Charlie and the rest of the hotel residents. How do you think will happen if he meet Lucifer?

Oh, so an AU of the AU? Sounds fun! Let me think...

Well, my first thought is that Alastor's demon form would be fairly different, since it's so closely tied into the manner in which he died. Buuuuut... I really like him as a deer demon, so I'm going to handwave that away. I'm also going to have him keep his powers associated with radio, despite him not yet having become a radio host, with the justification that listening to the radio shows together with Nicaise and making her laugh by perfectly imitating the radio man's accent were such fond memories for him they carried over to his demon form.

Ultimately, this version of Alastor still becomes the Radio Demon. But unlike the Alastor who died as an adult, nobody knows what the Radio Demon looks like. He's a mystery, known only for his radio broadcasts and striking down Overlords from the shadows. So when this little red kid with deer ears shows up on Charlie's doorstep introducing himself as the Radio Demon, she and Vaggie are understandably skeptical.

That skepticism dies when he blasts Sir Pentious's airship right out of the sky.

Alastor still brings in Niffty and Husk - two of the only people who know who the Radio Demon really is - still fixes up the building, and still acts as the facility manager. But everyone involved in the hotel keeps his identity a secret, at his request.

When Lucifer arrives at the hotel, he's in sheer disbelief that the hotel's manager is this tiny kid. Never mind Alastor frequently pointing out that he's around a hundred years old now. That doesn't really clarify anything for Lucifer who's several millennia old. He's less of a condescending jerkass to Alastor at first, seeing him as a kid, but Alastor doesn't take kindly to being treated like a child. So Alastor does what Alastor does and prods under Lucifer's armor. He starts throwing himself at Charlie, hanging off her arm, acting like a precocious kid and interrupting Lucifer's attempts to bond with her while shooting the King of Hell smug looks.

Charlie finds it a bit weird given Alastor usually acts more like an adult, but she does think it's kind of cute so she allows it. Lucifer is furious. He frequently refers to Alastor as, 'that damn brat,' and casually picks him up and teleports him to other rooms of the hotel for 'a time out' and generally treats Alastor like he's a nuisance, not a member of the hotel staff.

And then... Alastor's parentage comes out.

Lucifer is just as awkward with the childlike version of Alastor as he is with the version who died as an adult. That awkwardness just manifests differently. He keeps trying to make amends by treating Alastor as though he's an actual kid, lavishing him with gifts, inviting him on trips, so on and so forth. Alastor really doesn't think he should have to decline a trip to Lu Lu World more than once. Charlie tries to step in on his behalf, but she's not so great at dealing with Lucifer's awkwardness either.

One of the most insulting gifts is a pet, similar to Razzle and Dazzle, who is supposed to keep Alastor safe.

Alastor explodes.

He died when he was ten and he's been keeping himself safe ever since then, thank you very much! He was strong enough and clever enough to become one of the most feared Overlords in the Pentagram, all without ever showing his face once! And it's been over a hundred years since then! If Lucifer wanted to be his dad, he's about a century too late!

Unfortunately, one of the downsides of being stuck in a child's body is that sometimes his adult emotions are too big for it. All the anger and frustration comes out as tears, which only makes Alastor that much angrier. Lucifer tries to offer comfort, to pull Alastor into a hug, but Alastor melts into the shadows before Lucifer can even touch him.

#ask #anonymous #Hazbin Hotel #the Devil's Bastard AU #kid Alastor AU #the poll results are in! #although this is a spinoff AU... #I started writing out the whole history of kiddo Alastor waking up in Hell and rising to become the Radio Demon #including him making a deal with someone who HATES Lucifer #then I realized I was going off topic #but some other changes that come with Alastor dying as a kid: #he never met Mimzy when she was alive. they might have crossed paths in Hell but she doesn't come running to him for protection #since she doesn't know Alastor IS the Radio Demon #Vox still has his obsession with the Radio Demon #but since they never met face to face and never became friends it's more of a straightforward rivalry #Vox has no clue who Alastor is and doesn't care #kid Alastor is friends with Rosie still #she doesn't know how powerful he is but she has some guesses #she treats him a bit like a stray cat who swings by her shop every so often stays a few days begs for treats then dips #Rosie has offered to let Alastor live with her permanently but he refused #since Alastor didn't attend the Overlord meeting in person he didn't learn about the exorcist's death the same way #his shadow attended and reported to him later #and he went to investigate Carmilla himself later on #his relationship with Niffty is mostly the same #Husk doesn't like kiddo Alastor drinking and keeps trying to stop him #with no success #They're relationship is pretty similar to canon but Husk is the tiniest bit sympathetic #since Husk can just look at the age that Alastor died at and know how badly that must have fucked him up

[notherpuppet]

Let’s Dance

Part 3/12

Part 2 | Part 4

#huskerdust has made an appearance!!!!! #kids say the darndest things #radioapple nanny au #hazbin hotel #human au #alastor #charlie morningstar #lucifer hazbin #husk #angel dust #huskerdust #my doods #rosie

[skitterjitter]

If Alastor were in a relationship with Lucifer when Charlie was a kid:

Royal Family of Hell: Lucifer, King of Hell; Lilith, Queen of Hell; Alastor, Prince Consort; Charlie, Princess of Hell

they all have specific areas that they take care of: Lucifer is more focused on the Hellborn population as well as Heaven and Hell relations, Lilith deals with Hell as a whole and Alastor usually manages the sinners

you really don’t want to piss off any of them, but Alastor is the quickest to use torture and killing to make his point

Some people would refer to Alastor as “Lucifer’s pet”. if Alastor hears that, your screams will be broadcast over the radio. If Lilith hears it, she’ll just laugh because she thinks it’s funny. Lucifer also thinks this is funny, and he will make his own jokes about it much to Lilith’s own amusement and Alastor’s chagrin

Lilith and Lucifer have the most overtly loving relationship, Lucifer and Alastor have an antagonistic but fond relationship, and Alastor and Lilith are closer to friends

Alastor maintains a relationship with Rosie that he had from before he became Prince Consort. he also continues to deal with Overlord business, which never makes its way to the palace

and as for Charlie:

she has a slight preference towards Alastor because he spends the most time with her and indulges her whims because he likes the entertainment

as a baby and even as a young child, Alastor was usually first to show up if she needed something because if he couldn't watch her himself, he kept watch over her via radios. even as she got older, he kept up the habit

Charlie refers to her parents as Mom, Dad (Lucifer) and Father (Alastor)

nobody is quite sure when or where Nifty became acquainted with Alastor, but she likes to terrorize the palace servants. she is really good about keeping the royal apartments clean, and is a good playmate for Charlie so neither Lucifer or Lilith mind

Husk will sometimes have to babysit Charlie. he’s his usual grumpy self, but she’s polite, kind, and treats him with respect, even if she has a tendency to ask a lot of questions

when Alastor needs time for himself, he’ll go visit Rosie in Cannibal Town. he’ll sometimes bring Charlie to visit Aunt Rosie, so the residents know her and she’s a bit more comfortable around them

Alastor used to take Charlie to Overlord meetings when she was little. the first time in particular was quite a sight: the terrifying Radio Demon, sitting with the baby Princess of Hell in his lap

as a baby, Charlie had a habit of biting people she didn't like. Vox tried to get in Alastor's good graces by babysitting her, but she took an immediate dislike to him. she terrorized him so badly he refuses to deal with her unless at least one of the other Vees is with him

#Hazbin Hotel #radioapple #LuciLith #Lucifer Morningstar #Alastor #Lilith #Charlie Morningstar #Hazbin Hotel au #inspired by the fact that I think RadioApple and kid Charlie is super cute #but FUCK do I hate it when they just replace Lilith with Alastor #if I cannot find qprs in media I will make them myself

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

So in love with the "Canival Town Vaggie" AU, but that lead to a thought. In Alastor's first song he puts Vaggie in a certain outfit that people have noticed shows up later. This time, Vaggie would recognize "You dressed me up as Susan!?"

what with Alastor kinda being Vaggie's live-in Susan, she might take it as a compli-

WAIT

WHAT IF SUSAN WAS LIKE VAGGIE'S GRUMPY BITCH CANIBAL GRANDMA?? WHAT IF THE ONLY PERSON SUSAN DIDN'T HECKLE WAS VAGGIE????

like- like vaggie, in the hotel in canon SHE'S the one getting pissed and frustrated and and and the one being realistic (pessimistic???) about stuff, STRICT, judgmental (to anyone not charlie) like imagine her meeting Susan like "Wow. mean granny says it like it is" and Susan latching onto her "I'VE ONLY HAD THIS SNARKY JADED GRANDDAUGHTER FOR /FIVE MINUTES/, AND IF ANYONE LOOKS AT HER WEIRD, IM EATING THEM AND THEN EVRYONE ELSE IN CANNIBAL TOWN"

can you imagine mom/aunt Rosie struggling valiantly to be supportive and have Vaggie's evil granny over for tea steeped in the skull of earl Grey, CAN YOU IMAGINE CHARLIE TRYING SO HARD TO BE NICE TO HER GIRLFRIEND'S GRANGRAN BUT ONLY EARNING SUSAN'S RESPECT WHEN SHE CRACKS AND CALLS HER A BITCH

(and Vaggie grinning and CHEERING HER for it???)AND THEN SUSAN IS GIRNNING TOO, LEANING OVER TO HER GRANDAUGHTER AND GROWLING

"oh i see why you like her now~" - "that's not why, granny chops, but yeah. she's great"

WHILE CHARLIE SITs THERE, TRYING NOT TO REACH OVER AND THROTTLE THIS OLD LADY THAT HER GF CLEARLY LOVES

even in hell no one can figure out how this (healthy?) (happily fucked up??) granddaughter / grandmother relationship works!!!! they just know they'll find Vaggie and Susan standing in a corner of the party, smirking / grinning with too many teeth together as they trade sick burns about everyone else there! (especially Alastor) (and excepting Charlie once Susan decides she might almost be worthy of dating her sad emotionally burnt dropout angel vegetation grandchild)

the non-cannibal vegetation diet thing is ONLY part of Vaggie that Susan ever picks on, and it's only because she's WORRIED Vaggie will fall off the flesh is she doesn't eat human three times daily in the special way Granny kills it~

original au credit to @sunsetcougar

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #susan hazbin hotel #chaggie #alastor the radio demon #charlie morningstar #vaggie's vegan cannibal adoption au spinoff #rosie is going through so much for her new kid she is having tea with SUSAN she will make this family WORK #alastor and the realization how serious this all is #because of the above #vaggie and susan cackling and heckling ppl in a corner #it lives in my head rent free now #charlie's first brush at having a grandparent is with susan and she might never recover #susan tho #susan is having fun collecting grandkids #and not even for lunch but like #as family XD

[midnight-raven]

Hazbin Hotel Fankids Ideas

ARIA MAGNE

Charlie and Vaggie’s Daughter.

Kind-hearted, always willing to help someone in need, and has a slight temper.

Talented singer, fierce fighter, speaks fluent demonic and spanish.

Growing up, Aria has met Lucifer a handful of times but she’s never met Lilith.

Has heterochromia; a pink and a yellow iris.

Her full demon form has wings, horns, and she wields a sword and shield.

Wants to help her mothers dream come true, and is insecure about being heir to the throne.

On occasions, Lucifer sends her a rubber duck for her birthdays.

OSCAR

Alastors’ Son

Oscar is a Shadow that Alastor brought to life as a deer demon and raised (without revealing the truth of his origins)

Polite, curious, has little social skills and a slight dark sense of humor.

Has antlers, one is half broken.

Collects old records and other relics.

Talented chef; cooks Hannibal Lector style.

Loves visiting Rosie in Cannibal Corner.

Smiles often but not as much as Alastor, and inherited a sliver of his powers.

HOPE

Husk & Angel Dusts’ Daughter

Nickname is ‘Wild Card’

Independent, feisty, and fiercely protective of the ones she loves.

Has wings, sharp claws, a second set of arms, and can cough up web-balls.

Hopes to someday break her Dads free of their contracts.

Has a strong dislike towards Overlords.

Adores Fat Nuggets.

The big sister to everyone in the youth group, she makes the best ice cream sundaes and milkshakes.

THE SNAKELINGS

Triplet sons of Sir Pentious.

FANG; The Leader (self proclaimed since he hatched first) Adventurous, Loyal, Assertive.

COYLE; The Powerhouse. Energetic, Playful, Impetuous

WRENCH; The Inventor. Timid, Curious, Imaginative.

Each of the snakelings adore their Dad and will do anything to help him.

The Egg Bois are the best babysitters/uncles.

THE VEES 2.0

VERA; Daughter of Vox

One of Hells most popular Influencers. Works with her Dad to promote Voxtec products on Voxtagram.

Has Techonopatic powers that she uses for her vlogs, and to stream shows with her friends.

Online; Vera is bold, confident and a tad boastful. Offline, with Virgil and Valerie, she’s fair, playful, and quieter.

VIRGIL, Son of Velvette.

Works as an enforcer for the Vees; dealing with unsatisfied customers, incompetent employees, etc.

The strong and silent type but is more talkative when around his mother and friends.

In his free time, Virgil enjoys sketching and spending time with Vera and Valerie.

VALERIE; Daughter of Valentino.

Passionate and Affectionate; Daddy’s Little Princess

Valentino spoils her with gifts but doesn’t let her out of V Tower very often, and scares off any suitors that look her way.

Only friends are Vera, Virgil, Kitty, and her litter of queeves.

HENRY HAVOC

Son of Katie Killjoy & Tom Trench

Blunt, Arrogant, & Insolent (Basically a Mini Sociopath)

Has to wear a muzzle and gloves because he both scratches and bites.

Works as a cameraman for 6 6 6 News, mostly so his parents can keep an eye on him.

(Sorry, that’s all I got)

#Hazbin Hotel #AU Idea #Fankids #OC Kids #Charlie Morningstar #Charlie #Vaggie #Chaggie #Alastor #The Radio Demon #Angel Dust #Husk #Huskerdust #Sir Pentious #The Vees #Vox #Velvette #Valentino #Katie Killjoy #Tom Trench

[mary-laib]

Hear me out: au where everything in Hazbin Hotel is the same except Alastor is a child. I just think it would be super funny.

Charlie: *opens front door*

Alastor, a child: Hell-

Charlie: *slams the door in his face, then opens it again*

Alastor: O-

Charlie, slamming the door closed again: Uh, Vaggie? There’s a child at the door.

Literally nobody knows who he is because the Radio Demon is this notorious serial killer from the radio that nobody’s actually seen and every time Alastor has tried to be like “oh, yeah! That’s me!” Nobody believes him because he looks like a six year old. Also he usually takes on his demon form during his broadcasts, so his voice sounds more like an adult’s when he does them.

Also Sir Pentious and Vox are the only rivals that take him seriously, which is the only reason he bothers to keep them around. This does have the averse effect of everyone who knows the two being a little weirded out by their dynamics. Also Velvette is mildly concerned that Vox might be a pedo.

Valentino: Why the hell are you beefing with a little kid?

Vox, who is about to try to wreck Alastor’s shit for the third time this week: HES OLDER THAN ME! I DONT CARE IF HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY, HES OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BY NOW NOT TO TALK SHIT!

Also everyone thinks he’s hell-born because how the hell does a child do something bad enough to end up in hell? But he’s over here like “oh, I’ve done some unspeakable things that a grown adult from hell would balk at.

Lucifer: I’m not going to say anything because you are just a kid.

Alastor: Actually, I’m over a century old, so say whatever it is you need to say.

Lucifer: What? I thought you were hell-born? What the here did you do to end up in hell so young?

Alastor: I killed a man! :)

Lucifer: 😟

Instead of Alastor and Lucifer beefing over who is the better dad, Alastor is just taking all of Charlie’s attention away by pretending to be a needy kid and Charlie, being the bleeding heart she is has absolutely no qualms about doting over this little kid who is also super powerful and the benefactor of her hotel. Meanwhile Vaggie’s off to the side continuously face-palming into oblivion because she knows this kid is over a century old and can definitely take care of himself, but is just doing all this for attention.

Husk also still hates him because the kid owns his soul, but he’s also mildly concerned because he can’t quite get past the kid-looking exterior so he sees Alastor doing crazy shit and he gets a little worried for a second before remembering that, “oh yeah, he’s old as hell and can handle himself.” He is also more than willing to let the child have alcohol. He’s had one too many fights over the issue and despite his size, he knows Alastor is more than old enough for it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor #kid au #vaggie #vaggatha #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #husk #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel husk

[bunny-is-cute]

MY RADIOAPPLE BABIES WITH THEIR “BIRTH” DADDIES 😍

Lucifer and Osian

@angelic-fertility-potion-au

Alastor and Calliope

@hells-greatest-performers

Lucifer and Cherie

@hells-greatest-performers (fanfic version) @angelic-fertility-potion-au (tumblr blog version)

Art by the amazing @rius-cave please go support their work!

#hazbin hotel #angelic fertility potion au #hells greatest performers au #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #alastor #radioapple #Hazbin fan kids #OC kids #mpreg #tw: mpreg #post-birth #Lucifer gave birth #Alastor gave birth

[snowyh2o]

Alastor time travel AU, except he time travels back as Cursed Cat Alastor and gets adopted by Kid Charlie so it’s really just an Alastor is Cursed Cat Alastor AU with time traveling shenanigans.

Alastor gets cursed into (or makes a deal) Cursed Cat Form by something seven years before the pilot and then sent many more years back into the past.

He’s picked up and then unceremoniously adopted by Charlie (Lucifer couldn’t say no, Lilith thought he was adorable).

Charlie names him something very grandiose. Lucifer gives him cutesy not intimidating at all nicknames. He only responds to his full title.

He spends 7 years with Charlie as her pet Cursed Cat.

Hijinks occur.

After the seven years are over he’s returned to the present, 7 more years into the future. Aka right before the pilot. He is no longer cursed into Cursed Cat form.

He now discovers he’s homeless due to the 7 year absence and decides to bunk with Charlie again. The hotel is a wonderful excuse.

There are still some Cursed Cat habits he has a hard time shaking off.

He gets into staring contests with Keekee.

Razzle and Dazzle like to sleep on top of him.

He likes sitting in tall places and staring at the people below him, watching, unblinking, from the darkened shadows.

Has forgotten more than once that cutlery is a thing he can use now.

Charlie finds him oddly familiar.

Can’t decide if it’s funnier to have him remember his time as Charlie’s Cursed Cat or for him to Not Remember or know why exactly he’s so comfortable around Charlie and why he feels the sudden urge to destroy anyone/anything that hurts her.

Leaning towards Not Remember— both for his Cursed Cat time as Alastor and his Alastor time as Cursed Cat (isn’t 100% cognitive of himself as Alastor when he gets cursed into Cat form, and doesn’t really recall the 7 years he spent with Charlie as a cat once he’s back to Alastor form).

Lucifer’s the one who makes the connection between the two. He doesn’t breathe a word of it to anyone (no one would believe him).

There are old missing Cursed Cat Alastor posters all over Hell. They’re often posted next to the Beware the Radio Demon ones. Actually, there are also old warning posters for Cursed Cat Alastor everywhere in Hell.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #Lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #schrodinger’s cat AU #Cursed Cat Alastor #time travel is involved #but only for the sake of kid Charlie adopting the Cursed Cat #this is the result of multiple cursed cat Alastor drawings and ideas I’ve consumed #hazbin hotel AU

[allucitorme]

ALASTOR AS CHILDREN!

Can I have this little guy TwT

The teacher

I want to make the comic, but still have wallpaper that not done yet

#alastor #Alastor kid Au #human alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin art #sketch

[hype-blue-fixation]

RadioStatic Week Day 4 - Drunk. Was thinking about that little AU I made for day 1 and also that rumor going around about deer/elk getting drunk on apples. So yeah :>

#radiostatic week 2024 #radiostatic comic #Kid AU #drunk alastor #little alastor #little vox #my art

[blue-rose-soul]

Kid Alastor loathes it when people who know him treat him like a typical child. At the same time, he is absolutely willing to use his appearance to his advantage. Sometimes that means getting one over on an enemy and taking advantage of their underestimating him. Other times, this just means fucking with people.

Angel Dust: Aw, for fuck's sake-

Alastor: Gasp! I can't believe you, Angel, defiling my poor, innocent ears with your foul language-

Husk, from the next room: INNOCENT MY ASS!

#random thoughts #headcanon #Hazbin Hotel #Kid Alastor AU #Angel Dust #Husk (Hazbin Hotel) #Alastor #unexpected bonus: Angel actually tones down the sex talk around Alastor despite knowing how old he really is

[notherpuppet]

Let’s Dance

Part 1/12

Part 2

Takes place in the radioapple human nanny AU 📻 🍎

#radioapple nanny au #THE OTHER PARTS ARENT DONE YET IM WORKING ON THEM #Before anyone starts asking hahahah #the kids menu is for Val #it’s full of pictures #zestial is such a gossipy bitch #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin #human lucifer #human au #human alastor #alastor #Carmilla carmine #human Carmilla #my doods #zestial #human zestial #human Vox #human Val #human velvette #radioapple

[seramilla]

Imagine Carmilla taking her babies to an overlord meeting. And someone being shocked she has three now....and someone else giving her onesies saying Daddy's best shot

Zestial and Rosie would be delighted and be the ones making her the onesies/baby clothes. Rosie uses actual (very nice) fabric. Zestial makes some out of shadows and old robes he has -- they are fire and acid proof but look like something out of a Party City costume store. It’s the thought that counts.

Vox and Valentino would be complaining the entire time. Until Val probably got too close and then Clara latched onto his head and started biting. Emily probably puked milk all over Vox's face and made his screen short out. Odette would be sitting politely like a good girl but laughing behind her hands.

Zeezi, Bonehead, and Alastor would be laughing their asses off at Vox and Val.

Velvette would be more annoyed than anything, but she'd be too busy looking at her phone to care.

#hazbin hotel #carmilla carmine #sera hazbin hotel #seramilla #alastor hazbin hotel #rosie hazbin hotel #zestial hazbin hotel #the vees #vox hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #zeezi hazbin hotel #ask #anon #fan theories #biological kids au

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

I’ve returned from my sketchbook quest , and here’s a drawing for dauntless-daffodil , who came up with the idea for the spear baby au.

THEM HAS COOKIE!!! ;A; <3 <3 <3 <3 SMOL WITH COOKIE!!!

AWWWWWW~

oh gods looking at that cute little innocent face i can just FEEEEEEL baby spear watching as chaggie and the hotel all stand around them hotly debating What Food Is Even Healthy For A Baby Spear Spawn Child To Be Eating

Charlie: "A cookie??"

Angel Dust: "They don' need cookies, ya useless gays, they need milk!"

Charlie: "We had cookies in the hotel??"

Vaggie: "Why would they need milk? They've got teeth already! Fangs, even!"

Angel Dust: "That ain't how nutrition an' shit WORKS toots!"

Niffty: (shakes jar full of money) "SWEAR JAR!"

Angel Dust: "Fuck. Shit." (hands over three dollars)

Charlie: "Since when are there cookies in the hotel that I don't know know about???"

Cherri: "If they've got fangs and like chewing stuff, maybe they need meat or something?"

Niffty: "OR BLOOD!!!"

Vaggie: "We are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Ain't no baby under my watch gettin' fed steaks and BLOOD!"

Charlie: "Where did the cookie even COME from?!"

Husk: (coughs)

Charlie: "Husk! You gave them-?"

Husk: "....bar's always got snacks. And they were just. Staring at me."

Angel Dust: "Husky noooooo....!"

Vaggie: "How? I did a double sweep for undeclared cookies just two days ago- you KNOW what Charlie does to your bar if she goes snack hunting in the middle of night and actually finds something. She's like an adorable cookie gremlin."

Charlie: "Heheh!"

Husk: "Yeah well, she's not the only one allowed to like f- fffffffudging cookies. And your kid seems to take after her, so whatever."

Angel Dust: "Baby cat, that's no reason ta- oh for cryin' out loud, now what Vaggot?"

Vaggie: "...what? I didn't say anything."

Charlie: "Vaggieee, you're smiling~"

Vaggie: "Huh?"

Husk: "Like a dumb... dumb."

Niffty: "Beaming! Grinning! AS WIDE AS A SLIT THROAT-"

Cherri: "-fuck fuck fuck, shit shit, damn crap hell- here, take my money and don't fucking talk like THAT in front of the kid either, what the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Sickening."

Niffty: "Thanks!"

Angel Dust: "I meant Darth Vaggie getting all googey eye'd over her an' Charlie chip having a kid."

Charlie: "Oh so you think they're my kid too, huh?"

Angel Dust: "Are ya gonna let Vaggie raise 'em without ya?"

Charlie: "No~pe~!!!"

Angel Dust: "Then congrats on parenthood ta both of ya, it's already going to hell."

Vaggie: "Okay, uh-"

Husk: "You're gonna fffffeathering cry again."

Vaggie: "-no I'm not, I'm just glad the... my kid isn't still crying. Our kid. They, really are pretty happy with the cookie aren't they?"

Charlie: "Of course they are! It's CHOCOLATE CHIP!!"

Angel Dust: "It's not. Baby food."

Charlie: "It is if it's my baby, and they get milk to go with the cookie!"

Angel Dust: "V-gal, stop her! Use ya dang mom veto!!"

Vaggie: "Eh. Charlie was a hellborn kid and she grew up fine. I trust her."

Charlie: "AWww!!!"

Angel Dust: "Unbelievable."

Husk: "Whipped."

Vaggie: "Yeah? My kid didn't even have to say anything to get a cookie out of you, fluff boy."

Cherri: "Uh, guys.... gays...?"

Husk: "What."

Charlie & Vaggie: "What?"

Angel Dust: "Both and speaking, baby."

Cherri: "Where did..... the baby go...?"

Hotel crew: "....."

Place where baby was: (empty except for crumbs)

Spear Baby: (gone)

Vaggie: (wings bristling) "The-"

Charlie: "OUR!"

Vaggie: "Our-"

Demon Charlie: "-BABY!?"

Niffty: "MOTHER OF FUCK." (throws down swear jar) (tries throwing herself onto the broken shards but angel dust and husk grab her)

-meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel-

Alastor: (walking quickly)

Spear Baby: (crawling after him)

Alastor: "....shoo."

Spear Baby: "Guh!"

Alastor: (nervous sweating) (walks FASTER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #chaggie spear baby au thing #incorrect quotes #silly stuff #Alastor: here. this is yours i presume #charlie: oh thank f- ALASTOR! WHY IS MY KID HANGING OFF YOUR MICROPHONE BY THEIR TEETH??? THEY'RE NOT A F- FIDLING FISH!! #vaggie: ...are you scared of our kid? #alastor: wha-ha-ha-hy! What a marvelously strange suggestion! Don be absurd~! #vaggie: (holds kid out at them) #spear baby: (starts crying) #alastor: (static hiss) (summons husk in front of him as a living shield) #charlie: vaggie /no/. don't weaponize our child please #vaggie: (giving her the kid) (Grinning) aw babe it was only just a LITTLE bit of weaponizing them... #alastor: for the record- I was NOT scared ha HA! #husk: then why the f- fandangle am /i/ here? #alastor: (tight-lipped smile) (banishes him) #vaggie: (SMIRKS)

[androgynousblackbox]

The Ancient Necromancer's Groom AU

Lucifer (20 years old)

Since he was a young kid, he could see and hear things that no one else would, making him an outcast among the other kids. His own family end up abandoning him because he was "too creepy" and has lived on his own in the streets until someone picks him up for an auction. Lucifer is so tired of living alone that accept to participate as something to be sold if at least it will give him a purpose. His magic has affinity with all other kinds, making him extremely desirable for other mages and creatures that want to feed off him.

Alastor Abaddon (???)

A necromancer mage that lives on the swamps outside of New Orleans who bought Lucifer with a bunch of money that he stole. His magic affinity is shadows and the dead. He was born crawling out of the body of his dead mother, a teenager that was killed by his father, and found by Rosie when she was a young mage. His first killing waas his own father. Regularly eats human flesh when he can and in general doesn't have the best opinion of humans for the way they treated mages/other magical creatures. He plans to marry Lucifer to control his training on all forms of magic and have children with him to control the next generation of mages. Because of his upbringing, Alastor has no clue what normal couples do nor how families are supposed to be like, to great frustration of Lucifer.

Charlie (4 years old)

An orphan child with the gift of sight that Lucifer takes a especial liking to so Alastor, without asking Lucifer, decides to adopt her (using a bunch of money he also stole to make the church shut up) to ensure that Lucifer won't ever have a reason to leave. Charlie them both papa or dad, but she is closer to Lucifer and usually follows him around as he is learning on the field. Stolas (???) The familiar of Lucifer that normally takes the form of an owl, but can also disguise himself as a human to follow Lucifer around. He was believed to be a bad omen that only brought on misfortunes and tragedies wherever he went, but he was merely there as a warning that other people never got to experience. The only exception was an old astronomer that Stolas became friends with and taught him a lot about the sky. Stolas takes his familiar role very seriously. He has a crush on the unreliable priest that is "in charge" of keeping watch over Alastor. Father Blitz (35 years old) The priest of the church nearest the swamp that was tasked to keep watch over Alastor to make sure he didn't cause any disasters, but mostly just goes to deliver letters and eat whatever Alastor has edible that isn't raw meat. Alastor already knows he can get almost anything out of him as long he can pay for it, including the adoption of a little girl with very little preparation. Despite his lack of faith and more than loose morals, Blitz is generally not a bad man who prefers to spend his day being lazy and enjoying life however he sees fit. He enjoys learning things about the stars from Stolas. Niffty (???) A house fairy that already lived on the place Alastor came to claim as his own. She cooks, cleans and keeps the place decent, but can't get out the property. She was waiting on the dark covered in dust until Alastor appeared, like a doll without an use. Rosie (???) Another old necromancer whose affinity includes jinxes/curses, the dead and plants (especially poisonus). She practically raised Alastor until he was old enough to live on his own. She becomes the first official teacher of Lucifer and sometimes babysitter of Charlie.

Millie/Titania and Moxxie/Oberon The queen and king of all fairies. They both have known Alastor for many years and are interested to see what does he do with his "little groom."

Carmilla Carmine She makes magical items and instruments to sell. She has known Alastor for a very long time, so naturally she is protective of Lucifer and doesn't want to see him "corrupted" by the asshole that is the necromancer since she can see he has a gentle heart.

#alastor pulling a lestat move by just imposing a kid on his love so he won't abandon him? more likely than you think! #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #lucifer x alastor #hazbin hotel au #necromancer groom au