#let me know if anything weird happens!

[rapidreptile]

early working version is out now :)

replace your lethal company model with a funny hazmat dragon

#lethal company #mod #dragon drone #hi hi click text for link #it's still got some tweaking and polishing #and I've not had a chance to test it in actual gameplay #just the ship #so uhh #let me know if anything weird happens! #dragondronesuit

[keeps-ache]

wink blink look !!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sona #ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhgghhhh #am i RIGHT guys hfhvs #:33 #//not many thoughts recently #not many thoughts for a while actually lol #must've talked myself weary! huh! #/let me try at this though - i feel like i have some little part of my brain that's all stopped up #it's been like that for a minute ! #/ah but a question - do you ever stand by a bit of forest and hear what are distinctly Whispers ? #i know it's definitely the wind but it's fun to think it's anything else lol :>> #ghosts or fairies or the road down the hill for whatever reason #/oh and speaking of hearing i got a weird + shrill + loud tone in my ear the other day and it just didn't happen again #a sudden EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and then it stopped lmao #funky stuff man. wonder what's up with that hfhs #//anyway i'm working on my artfight references rn lol :) #i've finished one! what a miracle!! hfsh- #it looks a lot better than the one last year like Wow. don't think the same person made these you know what i mean hfh #//ah i've also started using padlet for realsies this time :> #it's a neat spot - it's gonna be great to just have the palettes i need on another device loll #that's the biggest problem i have on this planet! having to scroll my blog for palettes is not the most fun thing hfsh #/anyway gonna get back to it!! #i'm sort of tired but i Really wanna make kira and hid's this yearrr #they are very ~+~+~ <3 ~+~+~ to me lol :>> #so toodles ! here i go again hfhsv

[badolmen]

I can fix him*

*bad writing, underutilized gameplay mechanics, characters with unfulfilled potential, funded by bootlickers

#ra speaks #personal #sorry I made dr phone calls and have like. ten minutes til I gotta get ready for first class of the semester. let me have this. #I think I should get every COD game ever for free. it’s MY tax dollars at work after all (actually anything produced w us military funding #should be free I think I can trap even my bootlicker tax hating dad into getting onboard w this one) #anyways. ghosts was…decent. but jfc if you give me a silent protag I expect SOME self awareness in the writing. #why are characters calling to him on comms when they know he won’t respond? why doesn’t he have an AAC device or something more futuristic? #I’m just saying if you explicitly limit a character you need to respect those limits in te writing. it’s not that hard. #like non of the characters even acknowledge that Logan never talks. esp weird when he first meets the ghosts #also. obv not a big fan of ‘all of South America has United into evil space terrorists’ but it was 2013 so ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ #wish we got to see some SDC civis y’know? get a bear on the average attitudes abt the whole. invading the US thing. #(jfc do not get me started on The Wall like this is a 2016 trump voter’s power fantasy) #also Riley was such an interesting mechanic why couldn’t they have at least substituted him w drones or something on the other missions?? #you get him for like. two missions. and then he gets shot and you have to protect him (gosh I actually loved that section) #just. it was clear Logan was The Dog Guy with an aptitude for tech. honestly Hesh felt more like the MC than Logan. #and while Logan doesn’t have a ton of personality we can glean as a result of non speaking + ZERO communication at all ever #seriously he doesn’t even like. wave or give thumbs up to people wtf dude do ppl just assume he’s psychic or something??? #I do LOVE the few scenes we get with him acting outside of player control/where he actually has agency (Elias’ death. the final cutscene) #and like it’s not much but it’s enough that I WANT to see what happens next #but alas. a decade old game without a true sequel (I think??? haven’t actually looked into it.) #my brother is making fun of me for being a COD gamer now like boy. I have no defense pls be nice to me T-T

[stevethehairington]

book 5 of the year done!!!! im literally one book away from halfway to my goal and the first month of the year isn't even over yet fjsksk i am DEFINITELY going to hit it this year!

#SUUUUPER bummed to say tho that ive made it to the first book of the year i havent enjoyed :/ #the worst part is — its the first in a series apparently and like. i WANT to know what happens next #but also i dont CARE enough to want to keep reading the rest of the series yknow? #like. this first book was just SOOOO disjointed #it was ALL exposition #it spent 500 pages giving individual backstories for each of the characters. as in each character l i t e r a l l y told their story #which first of all absolutely BORING way to get to know your characters and second of all NONE od these characters were even likeable!!! #and the worldbuilding was just. weird. it kind of didnt make sense and felt all over the place #and FULLY felt like he was just throwing random sci-fi-y words around to make it sound cooler but like. it wasnt. #and like all these characters are together on this pilgrimage right #but it is NEVER really revealed why/what they plan to do when they get to their end destination/anything like that #and im between each of these character backstories it feels like the same stuff one person is like oh wow what a story lets get some sleep #and then they do and they wake up and they do the tiniest bit of traveling #(which is like. described in the most lackluster barebones way) and then they eat and share another story and rinse and repeat #it was SO boring #it honestly reminded me of the movie the eternals LMAO #all these characters and you get to know a little about them but not enoguh to become invested and none of them are all that interesting #and the purpose of their journey/the purpose of THEM is completely unknown is completely devoid #like it felt like there was no plot #it was. ough not good. #so yeah would NOT recommend hyperion by dan simmons :/ #mack reads

[icewindandboringhorror]

Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.

#pet death tw #death mention #let me know if I need any other tags #I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods #since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name #and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt #res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank #account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc. #and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol #I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can #It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy #decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe #pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him. #anyway #of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh... #more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter #vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else #you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T #Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I #noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly) #but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely #not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc. #ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without #taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc. #cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.

[bylertruther]

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

#rape tw #rape mention #triggering myself on main like a fucking dumbass but the worms in my brain are holding on to this one n gnawing at it #am i insane am i genuinely having memory problems am i the weird one #eleven and will can both kill his ass but don't act like henry isn't the one that ruined his life i'm— #i feel very strongly abt this bc i just feel like you Can't reassign blame in rape cases u have to see it for what it is #they're literally fake but. please don't try to absolve bad people like that #they're characters not people i know but. please don't do that lol. henry is a bad guy for many reasons and eleven and will BOTH have #reasons to merc his ass. we can say that it's okay we're not taking anything away from eleven by acknowledging the plot and the #actions that the characters have made like i promise u no one is forgetting eleven who is literally the biggest character on the show #it doesn't matter but also it Does matter to me bc we don't always see rape victims on tv shows or movies that are treated like will #and it just makes me sad when like. stuff that happens in real life (abusers getting off scot free) happens in fiction. bc its like ok cool #not even in the fictional world can there be justice huh lmao cool cool cool very cool and awesome and great love it #actually no im gonna say it bro yes henry tried to kill eleven twice but like. he literally raped will. so yeah i think will deserves the #final blow bro idc. idc idc idc will has to live with that for the rest of his life he has to remember what it felt like and what all he #did under henry's control like. he deserves it. let him maul his ass let him fireball him to the pits of hell idc idc everyone else go home

[jonny-b-meowborn]

As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.

#you know theres this weird idk. impostor syndrome about me and my autism #like on one hand i know that autism is a disability. but on the other i cant think of myself as disabled #cause im not 'autistic enough'. because i can keep myself fed and clean and healthy and alive as long as im provided with everything i need #but then i have a full on breakdown because my new laptop doesnt work and i have to go to the store to have it checked/replaced #i wanna throw up just thinking about it #i cant do anything without my moms help #i wanna throw up and cry and die when theres too much happening around me. i cant survive in the real world. i just can't #i cant get a job or a partner or go to college or move out or even just fucking. go to a store and ask for help with my laptop. #i feel like im destined to live w my mom forever and not achieve anything and die alone #i keep talking about wanting to make a living with my art but thats bullshit. i do want that but i know it's not possible for me #i cant even fucking finish the commissions i already have. im scared to get new ones. im scared to do anything. #my brain refuses to let me work on anything #and yeah i am burnt out after my diploma and exams and all that but at some point i just have to admit im not built for that. for anything. #im built to live like a parasite baby and die #my mom is too good of a person to kick me out but i wouldnt blame her. im useless. i cant make money. i cant take care of myself #i dont know what to do #bee buzz

[blujayonthewing]

reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it

#'I'm so surprised that Elyss wasn't more interested in going to her mom's hometown now that you're in her homelands!' #YOU! CHANGED Nami's backstory so that she never traveled anywhere before having Elyss #and YOU decided that she never tells Elyss literally anything even when directly asked #because you're so desperate to make sure your players never know literally anything about whatever might happen to them ever #YOU made it feel not only unrewarding but as if it was actively unwelcome for you if I even talked to my mother!! #'we're making this very dangerous journey (that you've been retconned not to have made yourself so you can't spoil it)-- #--assuming we survive can you please tell us anything at all about what to expect the other country to be like?' #'well. it is different than here. it may not be what you expect.' #'oooh why didn't you go to hometown' SUCK MY DICK I ASSUMED YOU'D BE ANNOYED IF I WENT THERE HOPING TO FIND ANYTHING #of course ELYSS wants to try to touch any part of her own heritage she can!! #do you think she doesn't wonder whether she has family there? do you think maybe it's weird that she doesn't already know?? #when *I* built Elyss' mother I made her a traveler from a far-off land so neither of us had to worry about it #YOU decided to send us to THAT far-off land specifically and then REFUSE to let Nami actually TELL me anything about it!! #feels very much like you don't want me to engage with that! feels very much like you ACTIVELY don't want me to explore that connection! #and if it felt like *Nami* was being secretive about it then Elyss would be even more keen to investigate herself-- #but it's just part of a well-established pattern of NPCs going 'it's a secret teehee' for very obviously no other reason than that-- #the DM just doesn't ever want us to have information even if NPCs have that information and have no reason not to share it #anyway. tl;dr grief over elyss yearning her whole life for somewhere to belong #but not going to her mother's birthplace because she has no reason to believe there's anything there for her. #for purely stupid empty meta reasons. #'I'm surprised you didn't go there 👀' so maybe he had something! #but my mother-- through you-- was so cagey about whether her parents even exist that I kind of just figured you didn't! so!! #about me #my OCs #elyss

[thethingything]

I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever #but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave #I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up #I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault #and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to #I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in #and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen #like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept #than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it #and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do #and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening #and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that #but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse #also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this #I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly #I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection #I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline #hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma #I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything #which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place

[ch3shire-rabbit]

Something I wrote based off of something that’s not canon in my Kirby interp’s timeline anymore

——————

It has been years— no, millennia since the last of his family and friends had succumbed to old age and faded away. His once strong wings are now patchy and bony. His horns were chipped and worn—practically crumbling away—and was missing its golden glow. The bright fuchsia hue of his body had faded into a sickly pink, his bones the weakest they’ve ever been. Galacta Knight had lived far longer than he should have. Impossibly longer. He knows. 

The butterfly reaper watches him approach as he limps towards it. Its ghostly white eyes offer nothing but an unreadable stare. For not the first time, Galacta pleads to it.

“Please let me die,” he rasps, “I am very tired. The ones I loved and befriended are long gone. With too much time, I’ve lost my sense of purpose. I’ve lost everything.”

A hint of betrayal flashed in his company’s eyes, but dissolved as quickly as it came.

“Then wend and maketh yourself new friends,” Morpho Knight stated, it’s tone of voice eerily calm. Anger bubbled at the back of Galacta’s throat.

“There’s nothing left!” he groans. Long ago had he lost his ability to yell.

He grabs Morpho’s gloved paw with urgency. It’s wings twitch, and mirror the drooped posture of Galacta’s.

“Por favor,” Galacta pleads. “Déjame morir.”

Morpho’s glow dims ever so slightly. Something flickers behind it’s eyes. Frustration? Exasperation? … Sadness?

“It is not thy timeth yet,” Morpho only says.

It recoils from Galacta’s hands as if it were burned. Ignoring the whimper from said knight, it morphs into a butterfly and flutters away. It’s glow disappears into the darkness.

#I feel like this should be tagged but idk what help #Tw Suicide ideation #There. I think that’s it??? Anyone lemme know if I should add anything else #I took this out from my interp’s timeline because honestly I felt really bad for Galacta </3 #After years of being trapped in a crystal thanks to a betrayal from who he considered his friends he gets a happy ending #SIKE he’s going to outlive everyone he ever loved #Idk. Feels mean. So yeah it isn’t canon in my interp. anymore but I still think about it sometimes cause I mean. It’s in character for #how I characterize Morpho. Augghhhhhh #kirby #galacta knight #morpho knight #morphogala #??? Technically???? It’s one-sided though. Morpho has an interest in Gala and refuses to let him go. That’s basically what this arc was #Why is is always Kirby that gets me to write things #crisp writes #I’m sorry I think in advance #Oh wait wait uhh y’know how Galacta gets consumed by Morpho in Kirby Star Allies?? It basically spat him out elsewhere so Galacta lived #That part is still canon in my interp. but both of these events happened for the same reason #Does that make sense???? #Oh yeah I think Morpho Knight speaks in weird Shakespearean English

[msfcatlover]

*points at Jean-Paul Valley* THE MOST DISAPPOINTING THING ABOUT THIS MAN IS THAT HE ISN'T CANONICALLY "The Normal One(TM)"

#Seriously #''Raised in a cult'' baby his cult is so spread out they don't have a compound; he PHYSICALLY could not be raised IN the cult! #He didn't even know they EXISTED until his dad died! #JPV had a normal fucking childhood (in Gotham) with a single dad he loved very much who just happened to be devoutly religious #with a not-even-that-weird religion (for Gotham.) #Everything about him is conceptually hilarious if DC would let him be Just Some Guy who /happens/ to be able to go toe-to-toe with Batman. #The most stressful experience this man ever had before his dad stumbled in to bleed to death in his arms & send him off on a quest #(of brainwashing & loss of identity) #was working fucking retail on black friday probably #This man does not know the proper terminology for /ANY/ of the moves he can pull off. #This man has not had to practice the way everyone else in Gotham has. #This man has stealth so deeply ingrained in his brain he probably subconsciously positions himself in every teacher's blindspot #and wonders why he never gets called on #He hates detective work. He's incredibly impatient. He talks a big game about being tough & alone but melts when he sees a baby. #He's a fucking murder machine who can't stand the sight of blood. #He's just SO MUCH FUNNIER if you let him be /normal/. #...Also his itty bitty glasses are stupid and I love them so much. #They're so tiny they can't be much help seeing anything. They're too thick to be anything but prescription. #(This man is absolutely blind without them. Fight Me.) #More personality in those glasses than in 90% of the literally thousands of pages worth of Knightfall omnibuses. #// #jean paul valley #dc azrael #azbats #batman #knightfall #batman knightfall

[running-in-the-dark]

today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)

I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).

first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.

when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!

#like I know alllll about her other friends and their shitty behaviour #and just. it's exhausting #it's also exhausting telling her over and over again that she is too nice. yes being nice is good and all but she lets people walk all over #her and afterwards she goes 'oh well I guess it was probably just because [they had a bad day/other thing that happened/I said the wrong #thing]'. I do that too! but it's just EVERYTHING. always. even when someone is CLEARLY being shitty to her. like her shitty friends. she #will still excuse their behaviour #it just makes me sad man. #buuut #like come on maybe let me talk about my stupid tv show for 5 minutes and try to seem a little interested? I know it's irrelevant I know no #one cares but damn you really can't pretend?? I've mentioned it before a couple times on the phone and she's always just vaguely like 'ah #that sounds interesting' WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IT'S ABOUT. but she doesn't ask what it's about so. I just stop #talking about it and we change topics. #like. yeah I know it's a bit weird that I'm in my 30s and that is one of the most important things in my life rn but. that's how I am. it's #always been that way. and my other friends care (or at least pretend to because they care about *me*) #so it feels pretty shitty! #like if I can look at 15 pictures of how big her fucking plants and herbs are getting. idk maybe ask one question about my show. #or like. even things like our new apartment and stuff. she listened and everything. but it's just. there's no interest there really. just #live 'oh that's nice :)' and we move on to the next topic again #idk man it makes me a bit sad (and I know it's ironic because I say she needs to acknowledge that people don't treat her well but. I mean I #do know this isn't great. and I limit my communication with her to a level that doesn't feel too exhausting. so. idk I feel like it's #different or whatever. buut really I just don't have many friends and I get lonely and it's better to listen to someone talk about #themselves all the time than not talking at all) #okay I'm gonna shut up now #and anyway I'm just exhausted and it's all very fresh rn and I'm incredibly tired so I'm very grumpy. usually it's really not that bad. #I just needed to vent I guess #okay bye and goodnight and I will stop talking now I swear #personal

[hooved]

i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW

#there's a lot of legal shit going on so i'm really unsure when exactly we'll have to leave #my mom keeps telling me to pack an overnight bag just in case and i know she's right but there's other things i need to do first #plus i'm not leaving my computer here. i'm just not. i can't. it's my most important possession. it keeps me sane if you can call it that #i need to get everything else ready before finishing getting my ''i need these with me at all times'' stuff ready #because so much shit is in the way like i still need to take out trash and do more laundry #and get more things that have already been in boxes forever out of here. also the closet door is stuck so that's a problem #i don't even care about most of the shit in my closet like i know there's stuff from my childhood in there but i don't remember what #other than that it's junk. and decorations i bought for an eventual apartment but when the fuck is that even gonna happen #i know i'm sitting here doing nothing rn as i'm typing this but i'm like mentally stuck on what to do next without my mom's help #and she's not here rn. plus there's some dude that her shitty ex is letting stay downstairs rn ? for some reason ? #and i just don't feel comfortable leaving the room to get food or take out trash or change out the laundry. it's just weird #plus i'm sick and he has a weak immune system and like. i dunno i don't wanna be responsible for that #anyway sorry i'm rambling. i know it's understandable at a time like this but i just feel bad that this is all i'm talking about rn #i'm just so fucking depressed and stressed and tired and i've barely eaten anything for the past few days #i can't even have fun or talk to any friends like i normally do. my brain won't let me and it just doesn't feel right. i can't be happy rn #for even a second. it's just not the right time. there's nothing to be happy about. i have no hope at this point that things will work out

[sapientiiae]

@gloryseized

‘Wake up….wake up…’

The voice is soft, like a whisper at the edge of her grasp, caressing her mind. It was consistent, calling to her softly, urging her to awaken.

But rising from her slumber was a mistake. She suddenly wishes she could go back to sleep because waking to this reality felt impossible. It was alarming to look around and find herself in a neglected temple that had been reclaimed by nature — overgrown with ivy and grass as stonework lay crumbled around her. The roof had partially caved in, an entire portion of a wall was missing, and this place was anything but her bedchamber, which she felt certain she’d fallen asleep in the night before.

When she moved to rise to her feet, that was when the second wave of panic hit. She was not herself but had instead morphed into, what she assumed was, a deer. It was impossible to confirm without a mirror or some other way to view her reflection, but the hooves at the end of russet colored legs (fur that resembled her own hair color) made it hard to imagine anything else to be the truth, no matter how illogical that idea might seem.

Zelda strugglds to get her bearings, legs wobbling as she tried to get used to…whatever was happening. Carefully had she maneuvered past the rubble, trying to come up with a rational explanation as she walked through the broken down wall, stepping out to a view that was not a land she knew. It resembled Hyrule, but there were aspects of this land that she felt certain were not her kingdom.

Goddesses above, what was happening?

#gloryseized #[ sorry about the delay here! #but I figured the transformation could have something to do with zelda giving midna her everything (soul and triforce) to save her in tp #and now that midna has returned to the twilight realm weird things are happening to her haha #kept things fairly vague for now just so we could have some sort of starting point! but let me know if I need to rewrite anything ]

[arthur-r]

my mom has been making friends with the parents of my little sisters friends, and one of her closest friends now of all time is this really nice lady sara who is like. a social worker who’s really good with like emotions and stuff and she is also super much accepting of queer and trans and disability issues, and basically she asked for my preferred name and pronouns and basically now my mom has started gendering me correctly to win points with her friend and honestly it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. we just watched a 1 year on testosterone singing voice changes video, together as a group of three people, and my mom had to be fake supportive because of her friend and slowly but surely just cause of how she’s making herself actually pay attention and listen, my mom is actually coming around really good and i’m excited.

#like my mom told her friend ‘‘he has been on the couch all day with fever dreams’’ (true story) but like she said he!!!! my mom called me he #and that’s not something that could ever possibly have happened and i’m partly blaming my parents divorce (cause my dad is transphobic #but my mom is just kind of the passive weird kind where she doesn’t get it and doesn’t try to get it) #but so she doesn’t feel any pressure to agree with my dad anymore and she also now has friends who aren’t cool with my mom talking about how #she has a nonbinary daughter or whatever the hell she was always on about before. like my mom has known this whole time that i prefer arthur #but she’s never been held accountable for that because i’m too afraid. and now she has a friend who cares and it’s just really cool #in other news i’m still feeling ill and my stress test yesterday went awfully. but sleeping all day today helped a lot i think #we’re helping my mom with her resume right now also which is cool and exciting she can hopefully upgrade from working at target #also coming to terms with the fact that i’m leaving in one month!? didn’t notice until sig pointed it out #i think it’s funny that my mom is only just now coming around. but i’m really fuckin glad about it #anyways. i’m gonna head back out there but i hope you all are well. let me know if you need anything!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[stardustedknuckles]

I really hate that I had an adverse reaction to the second covid shot and I can't like, look up stories about other people who had weird shit happen without landing in the middle of antivax horseshit. Now that I'm in Chicago I already want to take more precautions, but I probably would've kept putting it off if my roommates hadn't (reasonably) informed me that they weren't comfy going to the theater for the m9 reunion show with me unless I got boosted. So I've signed up for it, but now I'm anxious all over again. At least this time if it fucks with me I won't be alone...

#I kept getting this horrible feeling like I suddenly couldn't swallow #Idk if it was reflux or what #But a bunch of other normal awful stuff happened and that was fine if scary (I knew to look out for those) #It's just that the weird inability to swallow followed me for over a year after #And it could be correlation vs causation but I'm very afraid to go through that again #It's hard to describe let alone Google #And everyone who had anything weird happen is a loud right winger #Chronic-les #Then there's the fact that we don't actually know if I have an autoimmune condition? #So now I have two reasons to turn my guts into pretzels next week