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wildandsmile · 11 months

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𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 ☆ 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫.

🗯️ fem! reader, smut, switch! chishiya, consumption of alcohol and marijuana, light choking, praise, degradation, teasing, porn with plot, a lot of plot, spanking, daddy kink, gradually gets rougher, possessive chishiya, slightly inebriated sex. enjoy.

spoiled. self-centered. intelligent. this woman thinks the sun should rise and set according to her needs. daddy’s girl dumped in the borderlands, left to fend for herself. in this world, it’s kill or be killed, and she was born with a dagger in her manicured hands. serpentine. a striking kind of beautiful, the kind you could drown in, the kind you’d come running for. lethal. that’s how he’d describe her. like a black widow, gorgeous until the bitter end.

(y/n) walked to the log podium and grabbed a phone from it. all eyes on her, as always. the game was that of a puzzle, a thought provoking riddle. she wouldn’t stand a chance. or so he thought. adorned in bracelets, a black mini top and jean shorts, she looked like your average doe-faced lamb, destined to be in the hands of slaughter. she took a few steps back and assessed her competition. a guy who seemed to be in his mid twenties and on the verge of shitting himself, two teenage girls, a teenage boy, herself, a middle aged woman, and.. him.

blonde, unavailable. she caught his eye, he caught hers. he waved. she looked him up and down, taking in all that he had to offer. average height, not like the others. he didn’t drool at the sight of her. didn’t seem to be the slightest bit impressed. she sent a small, polite grin his way. and that was that. the game commenced. she took off her shoes and flexed her toes before she began running. the goal of the game was to collect five metal stars before time ran out. there were fifteen stars hidden in the building, which meant three people would survive. you could take other peoples stars, but you’d have to kill them to do it.

a game of average difficulty, meant to turn man onto man. of course. a guy in his mid twenties, two teenage girls, a teenage boy, a middle aged woman, and him. of the seven original players, three came out victorious. herself, he, and one of the two teenage girls. he caught her eye. she waved. he looked her up and down, gave her a smirk. and that was that.

that was about a month ago. now, (y/n) sat pretty at the beach, an official member. The requirement to be in swimwear at all times didn’t bother her in the slightest. it made her job a whole lot easier. entice, bury, climb. she lied sprawled on a tanning chair by the pool, a mixed drink in one hand, the hand of a poor sap in the other. “beautiful boy,” she’d tell him. “so pretty for me”, she’d say. and that was all it took. some tits and a smile went a long way in this world. any guy, or girl, would easily jump the opportunity to relax in her arms after being on edge one hundred percent of every day. it was hard being lab rats in a maze.

“(y/n).” a stern voice came from above her, as did a shadow, blocking the sun from her body. she raised her sunglasses onto her head and frowned at whoever dared to interrupt her tanning time. “what?” she asked, all attitude and lip gloss. “hatter has requested to see you.” he said. she put a hand over her eyes. it was that.. tall, lanky fellow. keiichi, was his name. or at least she thought it was. “ugh. now?” she whined, pouting her pretty lips. “yes, now.” he mocked her. she frowned. he smirked, satisfied with himself. she leaned over and kissed her newest boy toy on the forehead before swinging her legs over and standing up, letting keiichi lead her to hatter.

“ah, (y/n)! my favorite subject. come in, come in.” hatter announced upon her arrival. she rolled her eyes and keiichi shut the door behind them. hatter had two women on each side of him, kissing him and giggling and shooting her looks that said ‘i have what you can’t’. she didn’t want hatter anyways. yes, he was attractive, but she’d be stupid to get sexually tangled up with him, and stupid was one thing she wasn’t. “what do you want?” she asked, crossing her arms and putting her weight into her left leg, putting her hip to the side. hatter proceeded, “i want you to be one of my executives.”

she blinked once, twice. smiled. “excuse me?” disbelief. “you heard me. i want you to be an executive.” she chuckled despite herself. “why?” hatter rolled his eyes. “if you’re smart, you’ll take the position.” and smart she was. she let hatter give her a new wristband. she was number four. “you will report here every day at ten in the morning and ten at night. am i understood?” she smiled sickeningly sweet. “yes, hatter.” she left the room swaying her hips a little more than usual.

that was three weeks ago. she’d seen the blonde boy, chishiya, multiple times since then. a wave and a grin every time. never anything more. she’d also met a girl named kuina at a game. upon learning she was a beach member, they became friends, and that meant (y/n) saw chishiya much more. still, they never spoke. whenever he was around, she would leave, claiming she had to do something for hatter. she didn’t dislike chishiya, oh no. she disliked how he made her feel. his eyes seemed to possess the ability to see directly through her and she hated it. hated feeling vulnerable, like her being had been opened and dissected for everyone to see. hated that she didn’t know what he was thinking every time he looked at her.

so, here she was. a blonde girl on her left and a brunette boy on her right. she recognized them as some of hatter’s old groupies. the girl held her drink and the boy held her hand, massaging it and babbling nonstop about how pretty she was. she was in the executive commons area, ten o’clock, as she was supposed to be. they had meetings twice a day for various reasons. sometimes they were serious, sometimes they just ripped into each other and joked around. either way, she was always there on time, pretty in pink. she saw the way chishiya had looked at her and her two accessories when he walked in. he smirked like it was funny. whatever.

the meeting went on for thirty minutes, and (y/n) received countless kisses and compliments from her little toys. she’d smile and kiss them back, telling them ‘cut it out, you’ll make me blush’. thirty minutes, she had to deal with being showered in touches and words she didn’t want. but nobody would be any of the wiser, she seemed like she loved it. but he knew.

the moment the meeting was over, (y/n) kissed her toys goodbye and left like her heeled sandals were on fire. she made her way hurriedly out to the pool and to the bar, where she ordered a mixed drink and a lolipop. some flirting with the bartender and a flash of her wristband got her the items for free. she took her drink and her lolipop to the tanning chairs and sat down, gazing upon the people in the pool. the music was obnoxiously loud, the way she liked it to be. it drowned out her thoughts and the idea that other people could be perceiving her the way she perceived them. it didn’t take long for kuina to find her.

“hey!” she said. “hey, sugar.” (y/n) handed her drink to kuina and let her sip from it, the way she always would. kuina laid in the chair next to hers, starting to people-watch. kind of. “did you have to participate in any games today?” “no. did you?” “yeah. me and chishiya.” (y/n) huffed out a little laugh. she’d played three games with chishiya total. he was arguably the luckiest and the smartest person in the borderlands. (y/n) was just smart and fast, a good combination to be.

kuina and (y/n) got about ten minutes together before two of her little toys came running over, whining her name and throwing themselves into her arms. “hello, my lovelies,” she’d say. “you look so pretty for me,” she’d say. they’d coo and kiss her face and hand her drinks and pipes. kuina, by default would get attention too. attention she didn’t necessarily want but was too shy to reject. so they sat together, surrounded by desperate beach members and compliments and alcohol and drugs.

“mama (y/n), can i please..?” a skinny brunette boy asked, giving her doe eyes and holding a small bag. it was cocaine. she knew what he was asking. she nodded and lied back, smirking at him. she watched as the boy placed two lines on her thigh and snorted them up, making her giggle at the tickling sensation. she giggled more at the way the people around them cheered, so amused by the fact an executive would let a lowly member snort drugs off of her body. but of course, the wicked know no peace.

“(y/n).” a rough voice sounded. the brunette sat up and his dazed smile disappeared. he instantly paled and huddled closer to (y/n) like a scared child. she looked up to be met with Niragi’s disgusted yet intrigued face above her, looking at her and her little toy with scrutiny. “yes, niragi?” she said, making her tone high and sickeningly sweet, the way she knew he hated. “don’t play coy with me, whore. you know why i’m here.” she raised an eyebrow, a smile building on her lips. “oh, do i? i guess i might..” she said, pressing her painted fingernail to her lips and biting onto it with a smile. niragi was mad that she had taken his position as fourth. he picked on her for it daily, hoping to eventually scare her into submission. wouldn’t he ever get tired?

“give it up, niragi.”, she cooed, her voice smooth and sweet like a symphony. “it’s not my fault hatter didn’t want you as his rabid lap dog anymore.” at some point, an onlooking crowd had formed, and they collectively made an ‘oh shit’ noise at her words. she saw niragi sneer, felt her boy toy tense up. keeping eye contact with niragi, she leaned over and cradled the boys head against her shoulder, shushing him quietly. “it’s okay, baby, don’t let his rifle scare you. he’s no threat. i won’t let him touch a hair on your pretty little head, okay?”

in the next moment, (y/n) had been grabbed up roughly by her bikini straps and hoisted into the air, being held nose-to-nose with niragi. she could smell him, a mixture of gunpowder, cigarettes and vodka. she smiled in his face. “oh, honey. did i hurt your feelings?” she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. couldn’t hurt her. hatter would have his head on a platter in two seconds flat if she had so much as a bruise. every word she spoke was like a jab to a bear. he grew angrier with each passing second, borderline growling in her face now. “i suggest,” she looked over his shoulder and saw hatter and aguni approaching. she leaned in with a seductive, serpentine glint in her eyes, so close she could kiss him. she licked her lips. “you put me down.”

“niragi.” she was dropped to her feet in an instant, and she couldn’t help the coy grin that played on her lips. the crowd that had formed had grown extremely tense. the tension was thick enough to grab out of the air. the music had stopped, and the main source of entertainment was them. it was silent other than the sound of hatter’s footsteps. he stopped in front of niragi and gazed at him, his face cold and hard. “do we have a problem?” he asked. niragi looked angry enough to spit. but, being smart for once, he swallowed his pride and bit his tongue. “no.” he bit out, flickering an angry, pointed look to (y/n), who was being fussed over by her toys. “are you okay?”, they were asking. “that looked so scary, i was so worried.”, they were saying. “i suggest you go on and mind it.” hatter said. (y/n) paused to watch. both men looked ready to pounce. two, four, five seconds passed before niragi clicked his tongue, turned on his heel, and stormed off. (y/n) chuckled. hatter gave her a look and nodded in her direction, only turning to leave when she returned the gesture.

the crowd dissipated, going off into small groups to discuss what had happened. “oh, (y/n). he’s gonna kill you one day.” kuina said, visibly anxious. “oh, he can try.” (y/n) said, biting the nail of her thumb. she seemed to be thinking for a moment, her eyes glazing over and her teeth toying with her fingernail. “(y/n)! you had me worried sick.” her female toy pouted at her, pressing her boobs against her arm. she turned and smiled, lifting her chin and gazing down at her lips. “i’m sorry, pretty. do you want me to kiss you better?” the girl nodded of course, so (y/n) closed her eyes and pressed her lips against hers firmly, only pulling away when the girl was dizzy and out of breath. the girl giggled like a gleeful child and (y/n) smiled, but she genuinely couldn’t take any more of this.

“i’m going to go to my room now, lovelies.” she said. there were varied reactions, most of them being whining and complaining and pleading with her to stay. she kissed each one of her toys goodbye before turning to leave. “wait!”, one of them called out. she turned around to see the same brunette guy from before holding a small gift bag out to her. “here. for.. uh, yeah.” he smiled shyly, and she felt bad for him. just a little. he reminded her of a little kid with that hopeful, shy gleam behind his hazy eyes. he wouldn’t last very long here. she smiled to him, perhaps the last kind gesture he’d ever receive. “thank you, pretty boy.” she accepted the bag, kissed his forehead and quickly walked away before anybody else could stop her for any reason. she didn’t bother to see what was inside of it.

thankfully, the commons area was surprisingly empty. most people were out by the pool, in the casino room, or their own bedrooms. she thanked whatever god above for that. the sound of her sandals hitting the linoleum floors reverberated against the walls. she made it to the middle of the room, between the two grand staircases before a voice sounded behind her. she was so shocked she almost dropped the gift bag.

“i saw what happened just now.”

she turned around to see chishiya leaning casually against a pillar, that permanent sly smirk on his face. “yeah? what about it?” she asked, a little irritated. she didn’t like to be caught off guard and he had just about scared the piss out of her. “you’re lucky hatter showed up when he did.” she rolled her eyes. “niragi wouldn’t have touched me even if hatter didn’t come.” she grumbled under her breath. she faced him fully now, her arms crossed over her chest. it was silent for the next few moments. chishiya did that thing she hated, saw into her. assessed each detail of her, from the top of her head and her slightly mussed hair down to her pink and white painted toenails.

“why do you let them touch you?” she blinked. “excuse me?” chishiya stepped forward, his hands placed in his pockets. “why do you let them touch you?” he asked again. she stared at him and met that feline gaze, narrowing her eyes. she grinned slowly. “do you smoke?” she asked. he shook his head no. “do you drink?” he shrugged. she looked him up and down, the way she had when they first met. she smirked and turned around, starting towards the stairs. she began the ascent and looked over her shoulder with a sultry glint in her eye. if he was smart, he’d follow.

and that he did. she opened the door to her assigned hotel room and welcomed him in, propping a door underneath the handle the moment they were both inside. she couldn’t have a lock on her door, but she could still block it. she didn’t want anyone coming inside while she was sleeping. then again, they’d have to have a death wish to pull something like that with her. her room was a basic, cozy lovers suite. only the best for an executive. she had decorated it with pink liquor bottles and diamond jewelry, mostly gifts from her toys. she plopped down on her neatly made bed and sighed, smirking in amusement at the way chishiya stood awkwardly in the furthest corner from her.

“i don’t bite. come sit down.” she motioned to the extra chair next to her bed. he slowly walked over and sat down, surprised to discover that the chair spun. he seemed to enjoy that. he silently swayed himself side to side while (y/n) tore into the gift bag she had been gifted, delighted to find a pink mini pipe and a little bag full of grade-a marijuana. “awe, fuck yeah man.” she said, happy as could be. she typically hated her toys, but she loved the gifts they gave. she began packing the bowl as neatly as she could, making sure it was a good one. she lit the bowl and took her first hit, a small one. she didn’t want to get white girl ratchet with chishiya in her room.

“want some?” she offered. he shook his head no. she shrugged. “you never answered my question.” he persisted, his voice calm and even, a satisfied feline expression on his face. he didn’t seem intimidated by her, her beauty, or the fact she could have him dead in four seconds flat. “why would i share such a secret with you?” she asked, lying her bowl down on the bedside table. she got up from the bed as he shrugged and she shimmied over him to get to the mini fridge. she pulled out a whiskey glass and poured some type of liquor into it before bringing it back to chishiya.

“i bet you like rich, sweet corn whiskey more than anything else.” she said. his eyebrow rose and he smirked as he accepted the glass. “lucky bet.” he said. she smiled. she sat down on the bed and crossed her legs, making sure she was positioned directly across from him. she tilted her head curiously, watching him drink as he watched her watch him. he broke the silence. “i bet you let them touch you to gain their trust.” she quirked a curious brow in his direction, lighting up her bowl again. “what makes you say that?” she hummed as she took another small drag, savoring it. he leaned back in the chair and manspread a bit, making himself comfortable.

“you run away from them the moment you can. i see your face when you think you’re alone. you’re disgusted with it, with yourself, maybe. am i right?” she stayed silent. he continued. “i saw the look on your face when you left hatter’s office the day he recruited you. you looked like you had just been told you won a million dollars. which essentially, you had. a million dollars worth of government secrets, and that’s what you wanted.”

chishiya smirked as she tried to hide the fact he was right by keeping a poker face that very slightly faltered every time he stated a new fact. “you want to climb the executive ladder socially and politically so when our leader eventually becomes corrupt and falls, you’ll be the one to take his place. because that’s what you want. power.” he smiled lazily as he brought the rim of his glass to his lips, satisfied with himself. “just a hunch.” he said. she snorted and rolled her eyes. “wow. you were on a roll there for a while, partner.” she said, and she tried not to react to the way he was visibly, slightly taken aback by her response.

“i don’t want power, i want safety. being an executive means nobody touches me while i work the inside reigns and gather information nobody else has access to. being an executive means i can hopefully use what i have to formulate a plan to get the fuck out of here. if i’m good with the people, then nobody accuses me of anything, because nobody wants to see my downfall.” she said, her brows knitting together as she explained, a slight edge in her voice. chishiya smirked and nodded, irritating her further. she so desperately wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

she leaned forward and braced her hands on her thighs to ground herself. she was close to chishiya, could almost smell him. she glared into his eyes with a sharp gaze, her eyes narrowed. “i bet that you were unhappy with your life in our world. you enjoy the games because you know that you could die and not have to deal with anything anymore, or you could survive and further prove to yourself just how superior and intelligent you are. you don’t care about others lives. this entire world is a big puzzle to you, a puzzle you want to put together and you don’t mind getting people out of the way to solve it.”

she said. chishiya’s eyes widened and he pursed his lips, making a ‘wow, alright then’ expression. “clever girl.” he muttered after a few quiet moments. he sipped deeply from his glass, setting it down once it was empty. she was high, he was buzzed, they were both extremely intelligent, and had high hands in the game of life. not a good mixture. “whatever.” she said, flopping down on her bed. “you’re gonna get high off of second-hand smoke inhalation.” she said. he chuckled. “there’s not enough smoke in the air for that to happen.” she rolled her eyes. “i bet you were a professional smart-ass in our world.” he smirked. “i bet you were a stripper.” she laughed, bitterly albeit. “funny.” “yes, i’m often told that i’m funny.” she rolled her eyes.

“seriously, what were you?” she asked. he kept silent, watching her with a lazy, amused grin. “i bet you were..” she paused to think. “an engineer.” she said. he smiled and exhaled a small laugh type thing. “no. i bet you were a bikini model.” she shook her head, amused. “no. nice to know you think i’m hot enough to be one of those. were you a.. typical office worker?” she asked. “no. babysitter?” “no.”

they went back and forth like that for what must have been a full ten minutes, coming up with things like scientist, escort, pimp, business owner, gymnastics coach, dance choreographer, physics teacher, etc. “okay, i give.” she said, smiling. the atmosphere was relaxed due to both of them being a little ditzy from their substance of choice and it made her happy. she was happy that she wasn’t worrying about being perceived by him and happy that he was loosened up enough to joke around with her the way he was. he’d had two drinks and she’d had three hits by this point. “what were you?” he smirked and looked away, seeming like he was going to withhold the information. when she opened her mouth to say something else, he answered. “a doctor.”

her eyebrows quirked up. “a doctor?” he nodded. “nice.” she said, and as she looked him over, she thought that being a doctor did suit him. “and you?” she leaned back and propped her hands behind her head, gazing up at the ceiling. “i was a competitive aerialist.” he nodded. “that suits you.” “thanks.”

they shared a look for a few moments before (y/n) inhaled deeply and rolled off of the bed, making her way to the window. “wanna dance?” “i don’t dance.” she smirked and opened the window, letting the loud music from downstairs flow in and fill the room. “you do now.” chishiya looked to her. she could see the gears turning in his head. “dance for me.” he said. she paused. “what?” “you said you were a professional aerialist. dance for me.” one, two, four seconds went by of her staring at him before she nodded. she went to her dresser and pulled out long wraps of silk.

“i had a hook installed in here for this exact reason.” she muttered. she swung the silks over the hook and tested their grip before she turned her back to chishiya and took a breath. “look at me.” she said. his gaze flickered to her. “are you looking?” “yes.” she grinned. she began a simple but enticing choreography, caressing the silks and vice versa in the the process. she hoisted herself into the air and turned upside down, letting her legs fall into a spread eagle. she looked to chishiya to see him watching her closely, tapping his fingertips against his empty whiskey glass. she slowly allowed herself to descend, swaying her legs gracefully. she looked like a spider in a web, or maybe an angel. she spun once, twice, slowly around the silk, letting it slide against her body as she gently pressed her feet to the ground. she lowered her arms fluidly and slowly before smiling, taking a playful bow. chishiya nodded with an amused smile on his lips.

“you’re good at what you do.” “thank you.” she left the silks hanging there and she went back to the bed, crawling onto it. she lied down on her side and propped her head up on her outstretched arm. “do you know why you became an executive?” he asked suddenly. she shook her head. “no.” chishiya stood and crossed the front of the bed, circling it. he sat down next to her, making himself comfortable. “i do.” she rolled over to face him. “please, pray tell.” he smirked and looked down at her, his hands folded across his stomach. “you’re good at what you do.” he said again. she tilted her head. “what do you mean?” “you’ve been here for.. close to two months now and yet you’re still alive. you’re smart and it’s saving your ass. hatter likes that about you. he knows your insight will help him.” she huffed, a small grin building on her lips. “yeah?” he looked away. she smiled.

“do you know why you’re an executive?” she asked him. “no. why?” “i don’t know either.” he laughed dryly. she laughed because he did. “it’s probably because you manage to be everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. you’re the eyes and ears of the operation.” he nodded. “you’re probably right.” she smiled. she rolled onto her back and gazed up at him, absorbing the look of his face, his deepset sleepy eyes, the curl of his lips, his straight lashes. she smiled again, amused. “what?” he asked. her smile grew. “nothing.” he shook his head and looked away, out the window.

“you’re pretty.” she said. he looked down at her with an eyebrow raised slightly. “what?” “you’re pretty.” she repeated. he shook his head and chuckled, turning back to face the window. “thanks.” it was quiet for a little bit. “i’m not actually a daddy’s girl, y’know. i’ve just.. found that men prefer easy girls. girls without opinions. girls who tell them what they want to hear.” chishiya glanced over at her. “i know.” he said. for some reason, the words made her feel a lot better. she didn’t want to be perceived as brainless; atleast not by him. she valued his opinion.

“i’ll be leaving now.” he stood and crossed the room in no kind of hurry. she watched him go. “why?” she asked. he paused, looked over his shoulder at her. he smirked. “goodnight, (y/n).” and he was gone.

three days went by and she didn’t see chishiya. not at any of the executive meetings, not around the pool, nowhere. he didn’t visit her room either. she tapped her glass anxiously, looking around the room for the millionth time. “(y/n), calm down. i’m sure he’s fine.” kuina gently grabbed her hand to still her movements. she sighed and looked around again, hoping desperately that she’d spot his familiar fading roots, but it turned out fruitless. the clinging of glass bottles and the sound of music rattled around in her skull so loudly she could barely stand it. “here, drink. you need to relax.” kuina pushed a straw against her lips and she took it into her mouth without looking in her direction. her eyes were glazed over and she was clearly lost in thought.

one, two, three drinks in and (y/n) was starting to feel better. she could go twenty minutes at a time without scanning the room for him. kuina stayed by her side the entire time, reassuring her that he would come. clock struck two in the morning. he hadn’t come. “whatever.” (y/n) said, scowling as she pushed herself off of her stool. “fuck him.” kuina watched her go onto the dance floor and immediately be flanked on all sides by two men and a woman. she stood guard and watched closely, ready to come to (y/n)‘s defense if anyone got creepy.

she danced and spun and rolled her body along to the beat of the songs, getting looser and more comfortable in her movements as time passed. two thirteen, he hadn’t come. one kiss, two kisses, grinding. two forty nine, no sight of him. hands were everywhere, all over her body. on her hips, on her breasts, on her arms. people were buying her shots, she was throwing them back. kuina had left. three eighteen. “(y/n).” she turned around all smiles and smudged mascara to see aguni standing in front of her, like a shark in a crowd of minos. people who realized his presence moved out of his way, cutting a clear path.

“hm?” she asked, continuing to dance. her vision was growing fuzzy and her mind was calm, it was only her and the music and the hands on her body. “you need to come with me.” he said. she raised an eyebrow. aguni was like a big brother to her, albeit a mean one. he let niragi pick on her most of the time. nonetheless, she’d trudge by his side and pretend she didn’t know what he and niragi were up to. pretend to be the doe faced lamb, destined for the slaughter. “why?” she asked, laughing. she spun and her ankle rolled, causing her to stumble. aguni grabbed her arm. “now.”

she frowned and protested as he all but dragged her out of the bar, hauling her around like she weighed nothing but a grape. he dragged her up the stairs and to hatters office, where he and niragi waited for her. “what’s goin’ on?” she slurred. “niragi informed me that you were.. giving out our secrets, (y/n).” hatter said. (y/n) looked at niragi like ‘what the fuck man’ as aguni held her upright. “i was.. literally with kuina all night. i’ve barely said two words because i’ve been so fucking..” in her drunken state, she managed to stop herself before she basically confessed her feelings for chishiya to her higher ups. “not the point, i didn’t tell anybody shit.” she said. hatter nodded at aguni to let her go. she fell into her own weight and rubbed her arm, scowling.

“am i interrupting something?” the three of them turned to see chishiya leaning against the doorway, quiet as a mouse. she hasn’t even heard him come in. “no.” she said, as the three boys behind her said ‘yes’. she turned and frowned deeply at them. her arm burned terribly. she moved her hand and looked down to see that it was bruised and irritated, with a few open cuts from aguni’s rings and fingernails. “(y/n) has been selling us out.” niragi purred as he took a few easy strides to her and lifted her chin with his fingertips. chishiya stiffened. “i can assure you, she’s been with me all night. she hasn’t said a thing to anybody.”

hatter turned to her. “is this true?” she nodded, obviously. why wouldn’t she? she was mad at chishiya, but if he wanted to bail her out of trouble she wouldn’t stop him. niragi sneered in her face and she bared her teeth at him, growling like an animal ready to pounce. “fine.” hatter turned his back and waved his hand, motioning for aguni to take her away. “but (y/n)…” he began. “you know what happens to traitors.” she scoffed. aguni reached for her and she stepped back, back into warm, calloused hands. they slid around her hips and warm breath caressed the side of her face. “i’ll take her, thanks.” she shivered at the sound of chishiya’s voice, at the way he sounded so irritated, at the way his hands gripped her hips a little harder as he turned her body and began leading her out of the room.

the moment the door closed behind them she was pulling away from him, all scowls and pissy attitudes. “don’t put your fucking hands on me.” she said, stopping her tracks. chishiya turned to face her, rolling his tongue in annoyance. “so.. you’ll curse at me, but not them?” he asked. her scowl deepened. she didn’t know how to respond. his eyes flickered to her bicep. “you’re bleeding.” he stated. “yeah, i noticed.” she grumbled, storming past him. he followed her, curling an arm around her waist and turning her body, redirecting her path. “i said don’t fucking touch me! where do you think you’re taking me?” she said angrily, too drunk to note how loud she was being or how crazy she probably seemed.

chishiya kept her on her feet as he lead her up the stairs, ignoring her protests and complaining. it took longer than it usually would to reach his bedroom due to her trying to turn around and escape his grasp every three seconds. he pushed the door open then ushered her inside, quickly closing it behind them. “what is your problem?” he asked. “what is YOUR problem?” she asked, raising her voice. she turned to face him as he stood against the door. “you think you can just— ghost me for three days and then show up and play night in shining armor then drag me to your room in what, in— in the hopes that i’ll fuck you or something?”

his jaw clenched. she stared at him, drunken anger and.. hurt, genuine hurt taking over her ability to think rationally. she thought they had bonded that night, thought they could be friends. she felt comfortable around him, she thought he felt comfortable around her too. he was quiet. she scoffed and shook her head as the hysterical giggles started. “unbelievable.”

she tried to push past him. he grabbed her shoulders and extended his arms, putting distance between them. “you’re bleeding.” he stated again. “i fucking KNOW, chishiya. get out of my way.” he gripped her wrists as she tried to push past him again and his strength scared her. he easily dragged her over to his bed and sat her down. “no.” she said, panic setting in. she began kicking her legs at him, getting him in the shins. “(y/n), stop!” she stopped and looked into his eyes for the first time in three days. his brown, open eyes. she stilled. he sighed and released her slowly, cautiously like she was a predator.

he turned and began digging through his bedside table, pulling out bandages, some sort of liquid in a small bottle and cotton balls. she watched quietly as he kneeled in front of her, her head spinning and thoughts clouded. “it will sting. don’t freak out.” she watched as he dumped the liquid onto a wad of cotton balls. his fingers brushed her arm so gently she almost didn’t feel it. he held his fingertips against bicep her to keep her still as he began patting the cotton onto her cuts, wiping away the blood and disinfecting the area. she winced, and she barely heard his murmured apology. it made her blush, made her feel warm inside. she hated it. hated him.

“you look like hell.” he said, standing to his full height. she frowned at him. “use my shower. there’s towels in there.” “don’t want to.” “that must suck.” he said before he grabbed her under her armpits and hauled her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. “chishiya, let me out!” “i will. once you shower. you need to fix yourself and clean the wound thoroughly.” “are you saying i smell?” she could almost feel his smirk through the door. she flipped the door off, directing it at him spiritually. she grumbled as she stripped down to nothing, leaving her clothes in a pile behind the door. she turned the shower on and looked at herself in the mirror while she waited for it to warm up, assessing herself. smudged mascara, tired eyes, mussed hair from being thrown around, beaten up arm. men are just the kindest souls, don’t you think?

“(y/n), i know you’re not showering. the curtain didn’t open.” she scoffed. “i’m waiting for the water to heat!” she said as she stepped into the shower to get him to stop bothering her. the warmth caressed her senses immediately, lulling her into a calm state. the vapor in the air around her made her feel safe, like she was wrapped in a warm blanket. two minutes turned into twenty, and twenty into forty five. she was nearly asleep, sitting in the tub beneath the stream when chishiya knocked. “(y/n)? did you drown?” his voice came from behind the door. she chuckled. “you wish i had drowned.” she said. she had peed thrice since being in the shower, and she was halfway sober, aka way less drunk than she was originally.

“you should get out.” he said. “don’t want to.” she could sense the way he shook his head. “you’re a child.” “then you’re my daddy.” she said mindlessly. there was a pause. “(y/n), get out of there. now.” she groaned and whined as she hoisted herself up clumsily, like a deer on new legs. she flipped the water off and climbed out of the tub, quickly wrapping a towel around her body as to not let the cold get to her. she wrapped another towel around her hair haphazardly before she realized there were no clothes in the bathroom besides her dirty ones. she opened the door and stepped out, being faced with a cross-armed chishiya who looked like a dad waiting for his daughter to stop trying on dresses in the store. “i don’t have any clothes.” she said.

his eyes flickered downwards and she followed his gaze. there was a neatly folded pile of clothes to the left of her feet, outside the doorframe. “wow. ever so observant, huh mr. smart guy?” she said. he shrugged and smirked. she rolled her eyes as she bent to pick up the clothes and immediately shut the bathroom door behind her. her options were a tshirt and swim shorts, or a hoodie and boxers. his hoodie. the one she had never seen him go without wearing. her face flushed. she chose the jacket because his room was cold. at least that’s what she told herself.

she emerged from the bathroom about five minutes later to see chishiya on his bed. “welcome back, princess.” he muttered. he looked so.. amused. relaxed. nonchalant. she hated it. she walked over to him and crossed her arms. “what now?” he looked her over, taking his time before he stood. “let me see your arm.” she pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and let him see the wound, which was now clean but still red, irritated and stinging. “sit.” he said. she sat down on the bed slowly, shyly almost. he pulled out some ointment and the bandages from before and sat on the bed next to her, bringing her arm closer to him.

it was quiet as he gently dabbed the ointment onto her cuts, her watching him and him pretending to not know that she was watching him, or at least not care. he placed a soft medical cloth over the wound before wrapping it firmly in the bandages, patting it when he was done. “there.” she was frowning. she rolled her eyes and looked away when he looked at her. “most people would say thank you.” he said. she huffed. “you don’t deserve a thank you.” she saw the way he shook his head from the corner of her eye. “why?” “where have you been?” she snapped at him. his amused aura began to fade. “that’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“nothing i need to worry about? it’s been three days. i thought you were dead!” he smirked, but nothing could hide the irritation brewing in his eyes. “you know i’d never die.” “oh, give it up chishiya! you’re not indestructible! you can die and you’re about to if you don’t tell me where you’ve been!” “are you threatening me?” he asked, standing from beside her. he was frowning now. “yes, i am.” “don’t threaten me. i’ve done nothing but be here for you.” “be here for me my ass! you ditched me!” her voice was raising, the tension was growing. she stood as well, standing face to face with him. he was frowning, hard. “if you must know, i’ve been covering your ass the past three days. that shit you pulled with niragi nearly cost you your position and your life. don’t you see that? you’re reckless, (y/n). reckless and stupid.”

she faltered, taking a step back. her face began to burn in embarrassment and shame. “i’m not stupid.” she muttered, glaring up at him like a pouting child. “you’re acting like it. the more you mouth of to him the more you’re putting your neck on the line.” she had never seen chishiya so mad before, never seen him show so much emotion or speak so much at once. she was mad he was doing it to tell her off. she looked down and was quiet. “do you think its easy for me?” he asked. her eyebrows scrunched. “do you think i like watching you whore yourself around? like watching you come within a breath of death every time you step foot around niragi? we both know he’s a trigger happy moron, he’ll kill you (y/n). he’ll fucking kill you.”

that was the first time she’d ever heard chishiya cuss. she was mad he was cussing at her. she looked up at him to see his concerned, angry expression. concerned. concerned for her. his face softened and he sighed, his voice quieting. “you’re costing me too much.” he said. “what do you mean?” she didn’t understand. didn’t understand why he was covering for her, why he seemed upset that she could die. chishiya didn’t care for anything or anyone as far as she knew. “i didn’t come to the bar, or the pool, or to your room because i hate seeing you with other people. i hate seeing them lay their filthy hands on you. on your body. i hate it.”

she faltered again. “what..?” “i hate the way you take it.” he said. he took a step towards her, grabbing her by the hem of his jacket. “you hate them touching you but you won’t stop them. i think about you, worry about you day in and day out. i spend all of my time covering your sorry ass and keeping niragi away from you the most i can. you’re going to cost me my life, (y/n).” he said, gently wrapping his arms around her waist. she rested her hands on his chest shyly, feeling his heart beat beneath her fingers. she felt stone cold sober, the weight of his words hitting her like a truck. “i’m sorry.” she said finally, looking up at him, at the various emotions swirling in his eyes.

“you should be. you’re going to give me grey hairs.” she giggled quietly, noting their closeness. his hands felt so warm even through the fabric of the jacket. “i’m sorry.” she said again. his gaze moved downwards. “how’s your arm feeling?” he asked. she shrugged. “better, since you wrapped it. thanks, doctor.” he shook his head. she looked up at him, at the face she had grown to care so much for. she bit her lip. “chishiya..?” he met her gaze, locking eyes with her. one, two, three seconds went by. three seconds of consideration before her lips were on his. she kissed him fast and gently, pulling away when the feeling of embarrassment started flowing in her brain.

“uh— sorry. im sorry, i-“ she began pulling away from him, trying to get out of his arms. he easily turned their bodies and slammed her against the wall, holding her hips in a bruising grip. he leaned down so close their foreheads were nearly touching. “back out now or hold your peace.” he said, his voice low and heavily laced with something almost sadistic. she stayed quiet. he slammed his lips onto hers in an animalistic kiss without wasting a single second. it was so out of character for him, but she loved it. she had fantasized about this more times than she was willing to admit. fantasized about his hands on her body, his lips on hers, how he’d be. if he’d be rough, gentle, submissive, dominant, quiet, loud. all of it was coming to her.

“kill them.” he muttered against her lips as he kissed her, his hands squeezing and releasing her hips. she was out of breath, her vision fuzzy when he pulled away to begin kissing her neck. “huh?” “i’ll kill them. the next person to put their hands on you.” he said. her breath hitched at the feeling of his teeth grazing against a sensitive spot. he bit down harder, sucking a nice hickey onto it. “oh, please..” she began, dipping her toes in the kiddy pool of arousal. she wanted to see how he’d react to being teased. “you couldn’t kill anyone if you tried.” he growled against her skin before turning their bodies and shoving her down on his bed. “you have no idea.” he climbed on top of her sprawled body and pulled the zipper of his hoodie down almost violently, revealing her naked breasts.

he groaned at the sight of her peaked nipples just begging for his attention. “chishiya..” she whimpered, arching her back for him. she rubbed her thighs together mindlessly, overwhelmed with emotions. love, hate, lust. she hated the way he dissected her with his eyes, loved the way he made her feel, lusted for his touch. he ignored her sounds and began to palm her breasts, feeling them up. he ran his hands across her chest, down her abdomen and over her plush hips where bruising was starting to blossom from the amount of times he’d grabbed her there. “do you let them touch you like this?” he asked, tearing his jacket off of her and throwing it onto the floor.

she gasped but didn’t answer, earning a slap to her hip. it didn’t hurt, but it shocked her enough to gain her attention. “answer me. do you, huh? do you let them fuck you?” she shook her head no frantically, squirming beneath him as he began hastily pulling down his boxers from her body. he tossed those aside too, groaning. he sat up to take her appearance in fully. her wide pupils, her parted glossy lips, her mussed hair spread out behind her head like a halo, her arms by her head, her naked, beautiful body, ready and keening for him. he took in the way her chest rose and fell with each hard breath she took, the way she kept squirming her thighs together.

“where do you need me?” he asked. she bit her lip and whined as she rose her hips off the bed, pressing her core against him. “use your words. show me.” he smirked, amused by how easily she became so obedient and touch-drunk. she whimpered and began sliding her hand down her body slowly, making a show of it for him. even when she was hazy with want she managed to tease him, to drive him crazy. she cupped her cunt and slid a finger between her lips, feeling the warm wetness that had begun to gather at her needy hole. she pressed that finger against her clit and whimpered, beginning to rub slow circles around it. “here.” she breathed, “need you here.”

he exhaled heavily and got off of the bed, removing his swimming trunks. he undid the ties hastily but slowly pulled them down, letting her see his happy trail turn into a peek of his bulge, then letting his cock spring out fully. his tip was a pretty pale pink like his lips, aching and leaking with pre cum. in the midst of being away from her for a second, he realized that he didn’t know what felt good to her. he didn’t know her body, didn’t know what to do. he kept his composure calm as he directed her to scoot up the bed. when she had done so, he climbed back on top of her and pressed a hand against her throat, firm but not choking.

“tell me what you want.” he said. she shivered. the smell and the feeling of him against her body, knowing his cock was so close to where she needed it most was driving her insane. she swallowed her pride and ran her hands over his shoulders, looking into his eyes with her big doe ones. “want you to touch me, ‘shiya.. want you to make me feel good.” she mumbled, gasping as she felt his tip brush against her clit. “yeah?” he groaned into her ear, smirking against it. her skin felt so sensitive, like her senses were heightened by ten. she gasped as he began rubbing his tip between her lips, teasing her, pressing it hard against her entrance and then taking it away, making her whimper and squirm for him.

“yeah. please, chishiya fuck me.” she pleaded with him, her hands growing frantic against his body as he ground his cock against her. “mm.. do you deserve it?” he asked. “yes!” “i don’t agree.” he hummed. “you’ve been kicking me, cursing at me.. should i really touch you the way you want me to?” she was near tears, knowing she had been a brat to him. she felt bad, but she needed him so badly. it has been so long since she’d gotten laid, his stalling was making her impatient. “i’m sorry,” she whimpered, starting to press messy kisses across his face and neck, wherever she could reach. he hummed against her collarbone before he flipped them over, helping her to straddle his hips.

“take what you want from me.” he said. her face flushed at the idea. he had basically just handed her a credit card and told her to go crazy in her favorite store. she froze, unable to think. “what’s the matter, hm?” he purred, running his hands over her hips. “cat got your tongue? what happened to all that confidence of yours?” he teased her, and she pouted. shyly, she took his cock into her hand and slowly began pumping him, starting from the base and up to the tip, squeezing gently. he groaned and she sucked in a sharp breath, the noise making her throb. “are you okay with this?” she asked. he nodded. “take me.”

she nodded and wasted no time in lifting her hips and aligning his tip with her entrance. he kept a firm hold on her hips as she slowly lowered herself onto him, moaning at the pressure. he groaned and squeezed her tighter, encouraging her to continue. she sat still on him for a moment, letting both of them adjust to the feeling. when the pinching ceased, she lifted her hips again and arched her back, straddling him like she would a motorcycle. she looked back to watch herself as she rode him, reveling in his quiet groans and grunts as she took him into her tight cunt. “good.. thats good. keep going, pretty girl.” he purred, starting to help her when she faltered. he’d lift her hips for her and help ease her back down, sliding his hands to her ass to feel the way it jiggled when it came in contact with his pelvis.

“fuuuck..” he groaned, getting gradually more pussy drunk the more she rode him. “faster.” he started pushing her down onto his cock faster, impaling her on his thick length. she let him, her moans growing in volume as he fucked her. “shiya.. shiya, s’ so good..” she whimpered, balling her hands into fists on his chest, keeping herself upright as she half rode half took his cock. “yeah?” he asked, genuinely curious. he would never purposefully hurt her. even though he didn’t know her well, she had intrigued him from the moment they played their first game together, and that rarely ever happened. he stood on the sidelines watching her for ages, studying her, her behavior patterns, her flirting mechanisms, everything. he knew she had probably been with a lot of partners before, and that was fine. he just wanted to make sure that she felt good.

“yeah.. don’t stop.” she huffed out, her movements becoming sloppy. she ground her hips forward each time she came down, catching her clit on the neat patch of hair on his pubic bone and amplifying her pleasure. her tits began bouncing in his face as they sped up, mesmerizing him. “shit.. so pretty for me. just me.” he began groping them, flicking his thumbs over her perky nipples. she cried out, her cunt tightened around him and squeezing him tight, trying to milk him for all he had. she was babbling brainlessly now, saying how his cock felt so good inside her and how much she wanted him.

a shift of her hips had his tip rubbing perfectly against that sensitive, spongy spot inside of her, and she couldn’t help the loud moans that followed. chishiya’s face was flushed and his eyes were hazy with lust when she looked down at him, seeing the way he eyed her tits as he played with them. she could feel him throbbing inside her, signifying that he was close. “shiya.. gonna cum. wanna cum, please.” she whimpered. “yeah?” his eyes met hers as he trailed his hands down her body, settling on her waist. “cum for me. cum on my cock, pretty girl.” he groaned against her neck, licking and biting and sucking over the marks he had left previously.

a few more thrusts had her falling apart on his dick with loud, unceremonious cries, soaking her thighs, his pelvis, and a bit of the sheets below them. she rode out her orgasm on him, using him for her own pleasure. he slammed her down on him a few more times before his hips stuttered and his seed spilled inside of her warm pussy, filling her up. the feeling of his cock pulsing inside her as he came made her twitch in pleasure. she looked down at him, breathing hard, a small smile on her lips.

“so.. are you still mad at me?” she asked. he chuckled. “i feel as though i should be asking you that.” she giggled and leaned down, pressing her lips against his. it wasn’t like their other kisses, it was gentle and sweet, like an innocent first love. when she pulled away she was all smiles, and chishiya had a lazy grin on his face. they sat catching their breath for a moment, chishiya staying tucked comfortably inside her. “(y/n).” “hm?” “i’m serious about what i said. i’ll kill the next person to lay a hand on you.” she smiled dreamily, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against his lips. “i know, daddy.”

he stilled. she stilled. she regretted it immediately. “i’m sorry.” she mumbled, worry starting to show on her face. she watched his expression change from blank to primal before he suddenly flipped her over, trapping her body beneath his. “that little mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble, bunny.” he groaned against her ear, trailing his hands against the curve of her ass before landing a hard slap against it. his cock was rock hard inside of her now, ready to go again. “say it again.” “daddy..” she whimpered softly, looking over her shoulder at him. he buried his fist in her hair and yanked her head back, pulling a moan from her sweet lips. “louder.” he growled as he pushed his hips against hers roughly, reaching deep inside her worn cunt. “daddy.” she mewled, her eyes rolling back at the feeling.

“yeah.. that’s right.” he began fucking into her, hard. his pelvis hit against her ass quick, pushing his cock deeper and deeper inside of her each time. his hand stayed tangled in her hair, his free hand resting on her throat, keeping her back arched for him as he kept her head back. her moans and cries only turned him on more, made him want to ruin her, to put his mark on her.

“who else can make you feel like this, huh?” he asked into her ear, biting down on her lobe. “who can make you cum like i can?” “n-nobody!” she mewled like a bitch in heat, joyfully letting him pound into her sopping cunt over and over again, pushing his seed deeper inside. “only you, only you!” she panted like a prayer, her hand resting atop of his, prying at his fingers as he tightened his hold on her throat. “god, (y/n).. you don’t know what you do to me.” he growled, squeezing her throat. “make me want to fucking ruin you.” her cunt spasmed around him hopelessly, sensitive from her previous orgasm. “shiya, can’t take it! s’ too much!”

she cried, but it fell upon deaf ears. he sped up, determined to push her to her limits, to mark her, to own her. “say my name.” “shiya..” “not that one.” he growled. she blushed as her lips parted obediently, the name he loved so much slipping past easily. “daddy.” he tugged her head back harder and attached his lips to her neck, creating more bright red hickeys for everyone to see. “that’s it.. yeah, fuck, that’s it girl. louder. let everyone know how good i make you feel.” he sped up, going harder inside her abused pussy. she moaned shamelessly, loudly, borderline pornographically as the sounds of his skin slapping against her ass competed with her in volume. “daddyyy! daddy, m’ gonna cum!” she warned him as her cunt tightened around him even harder than before, preparing to take him for all he’s worth.

“good,” he moaned. “cum for me, tell me how good i make you feel. go on, bunny. cum for me.” he coaxed her, pushing and pushing her buttons until she couldn’t take it anymore. he slammed into her even as she came again, pounding her like a toy, reveling in the way her beautiful cunt sucked him in greedily. his thrusts became sloppy soon after and he emptied himself inside her once more, burying himself to the hilt inside her warm pussy. he gave her ass a few hard slaps, leaving faint handprints, making her moan. she was panting and totally spent by the time his spurts of cum stopped, leaving her stuffed full and with a warm fuzzy feeling inside and out.

“you’re mine, (y/n).” he panted, pressing soft kisses against her face and shoulders, rubbing his hands gently over her bruised hips and red ass. “promise?” he chuckled. “i promise.”

he pulled out of her and helped her to sit upright before he started helping her clean up and get dressed. he helped her into his jacket and boxers, smoothing her hair away from her forehead and checking on her bandages while he was at it.

“are you okay?” he asked as he lied down with her, cradling her head to his chest. he rubbed little circles onto the palm of her hand with his thumb as she came down from her high and caught her breath. yeah..” she mumbled, exhausted. he nodded and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “i’m here.” he said.

the next morning, he was gone. her eyes fluttered open slowly, adjusting to the light that poured in from the still-open window. when she reached her hand out, his side of the bed was empty and cold, meaning he had been gone for a while. she sat up and looked to confirm, seeing a ruffled but empty mattress. she tucked her knees into her chest and stared blankly at the comforter, replaying the events of the night before. being worried off her ass, getting drunk, having several sets of hands at her at once, hatter accusing her of selling him out, aguni cutting her arm, chishiya bandaging her up and then fucking her until she couldn’t remember her name.

and now he was gone. typical chishiya. she should’ve expected it. she rolled out of bed and trudged into the bathroom to splash some water on her face and figure out what she wanted to do with herself. she saw her clothes behind the door and realized she wasn’t in her room. it was his. she frowned, quickly washed her face off and pulled her hair back before leaving the bathroom and sliding her shoes on. the moment she wrapped her fingers around the main door handle, it pushed open and revealed chishiya. her frown deepened and she tried to push past him, keeping her mouth shut.

“(y/n)?” he blocked the doorway and put a hand on her shoulder. “what?” she asked sharply, glaring at him. she crossed her arms. “what’s wrong?” he asked. “you left me. again.” “(y/n).. it’s eleven am. i was at the meeting. i tried to wake you and you told me to kill myself.”

her mouth fell open for a moment before she started laughing. she put her hands over her face and took a step back to let him into the room fully. “i don’t remember that, i’m so sorry.” she giggled, peeking from over her fingers at him. he shook his head and kicked the door shut behind him, holding up a small bag. “i told hatter you were sick with a hangover. i brought food.”

he lead her to the bed and let her sit down, taking a seat next to her. he began setting out the contents of the bag, pulling out some fruits, bread, and other mundane things of the like. she ate quietly as he checked on her bandages, telling her that he’d have to change them later.

“chishiya?” “hm?” she set her bread aside and looked into his eyes. “can you promise me something?” his expression softened and he ran his thumb over her bandages. “i can try.” “promise me that.. we’ll get out of here together. no more disappearing from me.” she said. he nodded. “okay. i can promise that.”

she smiled and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, reveling in the way he leaned into her touch.

being in the borderlands was hard. being an alleged spoiled bimbo was harder. but having chishiya as a companion made the struggle worth it. she kissed him again, knowing they might not make it out together, but the thought was enough for her to try.

#chishiya fanfic #chishiya shuntaro #fanfic #x reader #alice in borderland #chishiya smut #aib chishiya #romance #plot bunny #enjoy <3

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mynonclicheblog · 11 months

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One final Never Have I Ever love triangle thematic analysis

I've said this in one of my posts before, but the narrative is always going to favor what is best for Devi. A lot of what makes this show so juicy to dive into is because so much of its meaning is rooted in symbolism and higher concepts, not just the individual interactions you're looking at onscreen!

I think that's what doesn't work for some (not all) pro-Dxton anti-Ben folks. They see Paxton being respectful and kind to Devi, they see that he's the attractive object of her desire from day 1, and they see that the two of them genuinely do help each other in certain ways. But when these same people look at Benvi, they only see Ben making obnoxious comments to Devi (+ others), they see childish behavior and mistakes being made, and they see them frequently butting heads due to their shared competitive nature.

And honestly? I get it. These conclusions are easy to come to when you're looking at the surface, but they don't take into account the full story that's being told.

Let's get into it. 😎👇

So I mentioned earlier the idea of what is best for Devi. Not what is best for any regular person out there -- what is best for Devi Vishwakumar! Our girl expresses in no uncertain terms that she enjoys her hypercompetitive rivalry-turned-bond with Ben ("Ben's smart and we talk- mostly argue- for hours!" // "I don't want to break up with Ben. He really pushes me.") The fact that they fight and compete is not a detriment to their compatibility, it is actually the thing that makes him most desirable in her mind. She would not have wanted to be with him in the first place if this were not true. Their sharp-tongued communication style may not be the standard picture of a 'healthy' relationship for most people, but, well. Devi and Ben are far from most people.

Devi is an incredibly emotional, dynamic person who's always searching for another high. The competitive nature of her relationship with Ben is enough to satisfy her itch for novelty/excitement (her differences with Paxton don't hit this box), yet Ben's presence also provides a comforting long-term consistency in her life. He's seen the very best and the very worst of her and he always comes back. He frequently brings Devi back to herself, too, when she loses sight of what matters (friendships, family, sense of self, her goals, etc).

Then there's the dream vs. reality dichotomy that very much applies to this love triangle. Simple as it may be, it's accurate. I believe it was built that way on purpose because of how well it reflects Devi's relationships to Mohan and Nalini, which is the beating heart of what NHIE is all about. One (Mo/Pax) is more outwardly palatable than the other and provides an easygoing, self-soothing escapism that she needs in order to work through her grief. This person represents youth and the rose-colored past; Devi's tendency to idealize and indulge. The other person (Nal/Ben) is sharper around the edges, a bit harder to swallow, but pushes Devi to do better and supplies the support she needs. This person represents Devi's grounded reality; her time in the present and the woman she is growing into.

They are both important pieces of Devi's journey, but the themes of past vs. present speak for themselves. The past is something we keep in our heart; in this case, it's someone who has impacted us and we'll always carry with us -- but the ultimate goal is to move forward from that. The central relationship of Never Have I Ever is that of Devi & Nalini as they heal and grow together. In terms of Devi's romantic life (which is what this analysis is about), her relationship with Ben is the one that more closely shadows the series arc between her & Nalini.

I'd like to address some things by the individual season now. One of my observations watching s1 for the first time was that Paxton was usually aligned with bad things in Devi's life, whereas Ben was aligned with the good. ie, Paxton was the root cause of Devi's falling out with Elfab and Nalini // Ben is the one who repaired those relationships. These things aren't Paxton's fault, nor do I place any blame on him. They're just subtle narrative choices that send up unspoken flags saying, hey look, this isn't the right person for her. This theme remained in s1 for the most part, but given that it was NHIE's debut season, it planted several seeds for me about who the boys were for Devi and how they fit into her world.

Season 2 does a lot to sort out the difference in what Devi thinks she wants (Paxton) and what her heart truly wants (Ben). Yes, I'm going there, too: head vs heart. Devi's underlying preference for Ben > Paxton should be easy to spot as early as 2x01 -- if only for the fact that Devi finally bagged the hot guy of her dreams, yet, choosing to be with him isn't easy for her. In fact, as both Devi and Eleanor confirm later, she wanted to choose Ben in the first place. Like... that's crazy when you think about it!!! Despite all the pieces falling into place for her and Paxton, and against her friends' shallow advice, she decides that she won't let go of Ben. Instead, she makes the misguided decision to date both. This isn't the kind of mistake she'll ever make again. It isn't Devi acting out because of Ben -- it signals a profound attachment to him when, all things considered, picking Paxton should have been a no brainer. That revealed everything I needed to know in order to understand that being with Paxton wasn't what she wanted in her heart of hearts.

Then, of course, 3x10 brings that all home with the stomach knots comparison. It tells us that since Devi and Paxton have moved into a place of friendship, with him no longer on a pedestal, those romantic feelings (particularly on her part) have dissipated. As a bonus, Devi even explicitly states that Paxton was a dream! Ben, however -- her flawed reality -- is the one who still gives her butterflies. This is the result of Devi's slow awakening to her true inner self, the Devi who values realness and authenticity and loving through imperfection. It's a step closer to the complete acceptance of herself. (Notice as well that right after this point, it becomes more undeniable than ever that Ben is who she wants to be with.)

As long as Paxton was a romantic possibility for Devi, their relationship was tied to her feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Again this is not Paxton's fault -- he assures her of the opposite all the time -- but this is Devi's story, and we are shown over and over that Devi fears true vulnerability with Paxton (both sexually and emotionally). Compare this to the way she has always felt confident, seen, driven, and unabashedly herself in her relationship with Ben, even when they were enemies. At a glance Devi may appear to act more immature in Ben's orbit, but the truth is that she grows with him more than anyone else (besides Nalini) thanks to Ben's penchant for encouraging accountability and showing her that actions can have consequences.

Anyway, TLDR version:

Paxton = Devi's youth, Mohan, grief, distraction, the past, idealism, and the head (constructed ideas).

Ben = Devi's future, Nalini, healing, confrontation, the present, reality, and the heart (authentic truths).

Never Have I Ever's romantic story structure rests on the premise of these symbolic definitions. They are gospel, and while the characters will grow and change and become better versions of themselves, they will do so within the lines that are already drawn. The lines exist for a reason -- they are a narrative tool! These characters cannot and should not 'grow out' of their roles because those roles are their identities within the show's framework. Character development isn't getting wasted, because the characters are exactly who they are meant to be right through to the end. They are symbols. If that's not your cup of tea then so be it! But there's nothing wrong with this writing style. In fact it's one of my personal favorites because everything is so neatly defined, yet fascinating to read into 🥰

The imperfect Ben had to be Devi's true love because her love interests are, in a way, reflections of herself. By no fault of his own, Devi always felt the need to be "perfect" for Paxton because that's how she viewed him; a false paragon of everything she wanted to be. That is the point of their story together. Her acceptance of the deep love she has for Ben (and Nalini!), despite his sometimes off-putting demeanor, is aligned with Devi's acceptance of her own imperfections -- that she is hot-headed, she can be self-absorbed, she makes mistakes -- but that she is also brilliant and driven and caring and radiant, and she is equally worthy of receiving the love that she has to offer others.

Narratively speaking, it was never truly a competition.

#never have i ever #benvi #devi vishwakumar #ben gross #ben x devi #devi x ben #bevi #nhie spoilers #nhie #analysis post #*success

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shesmore-shoebill · 12 days

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since you mentioned an angel in neon blue as one of your faves…..your top 5 amangela fics perhaps? some honorary mentions too if there’s too many? 👀

Sorry for the delay on this, life got busy and then more busy instead of less busy and I wanted to give this ask its deserved amount of consideration.

anyway. Five is HARD. I will do my best. Order is not indicative of anything bc I've agonized long enough as it is. I've tagged folks + linked directly to their posts where I could find their associated tumblr post, and links to AO3 where I couldn't.

Also I cheated and made a separate list for NSFW ones. Partly because I know some people don't want to read NSFW. and to cheat a little on the 5 restriction.

As always, RPF with F as in fiction. From what I recall, none of these are attempting to speculate or make any actual statements about real people, they're all just works of fiction I like.

if anyone wants me to remove a link to their fic or a tag for any reason, let me know.

close my eyes (and fantasize) by @baflegacy

listen. I am a fucking sucker for well intentioned and realistic miscommunication that stems from care and then goes wrong. I love a thing where someone cares about someone and thats why they're worried and the worry also means they are a little mad and a little hurt bc fuck, i want to help you, why arent you talking to me about this, did i do something, crossed with the other person doing everything in their power to do the exact thing driving them up the wall, because they genuinely care so much about the other person that its skewing their judgement. People who care and people who fuck up. I'll eat it up every time, and this one is written in a way that feels so real. 👌👌👌👌

the devil is in the details by skiespeaches

this is a newer fic and its still in progress atm and so theres a chance it gets bumped into NSFW territory 😅 but im really enjoying it!!! The dynamic between Amanda and Angela takes the competitive edge we can see in videos and makes it into something phenomenal. Its got such strong tension and pacing, and its also got. REALLY GOOD COMMUNICATION. People react realistically and have reasonable fears and doubts but everyone also talks about them and trusts each other and its just so satisfying to read as a result. And it STILL does the tension and the 👀👀👀👀👀 so well. Guess its kind of funny to put this and the prior recc right next to each other but I genuinely love both of these. Communication and humans are weird.

not strong enough by @moviemandy

i love a disaster angela fic as much as anyone but because I feel like that trope is established among smosh rpf, I love having that get subverted even more. More Amanda getting comforted!!! yeah!!!!!And the way the dynamic and emotions are written in this one is especially satisfying to me, they all feel very real, and sweet. :') Also, Im always a sucker for the trope where someone tries to deflect from their issues by taking care of someone else and then gets CALLED OUT FOR IT. also, double bonus, this fic can be read completely platonically. :]

a field of yellow flowers by @unknownteapot

gah this one has so many layers and elements to it, its such a damn delight to reread. the bittersweetness of it all really 👌👌👌👌. Grudging respect and admiration in an awful space, magnetism of people who both deeply want to love each other and really don't (but they do). The world feels very realized and that's so important bc the fic clearly sets up the interplay as like. The two of them and also the world they are in as a distinct three players in the story. This fic has so many emotions!!! gut punch of an end! you feel for both of them so deeply by the end.

i've been having revelations by @poppyfamily

slight cheating bc this is courtmangela but it should still count imo!!! It contains another classic trope of people who care about each other deeply and it being percieved by other people before they clock it themselves. Its something I like specifically as a writing trope and only executed in specific ways- caring deeply and being affectionate does not HAVE to mean you want to sleep with or are in love with someone, and IRL assumptions about that can be. Infuriating. But love how this fic does it. :) Also its funny and it feels very genuine and the voices all sound. right. I love fics with lots of cuts where so much is said in tiny details and tiny moments, it makes the world feel very fleshed out. Also, Courtmangela as a band is just a blessed concept.

NSFW fics:

lets make this bed get squeaky by baflegacy

This rewrote my goddamn brain chemistry actually. Like yes, this one is hot, but the parts that really hooked into my brain are not exclusively the spicy bits. Pining RPF Amanda is SO important to my brain, and that dynamic of an Amanda silently losing her mind and Angela also silently losing her mind but slightly more at peace about it, combined with their very genuine friendship keeping things fine and then. and THEN. well.

personal leisure by unknownteapot

hey this fic is hot as hell. Its extremely well written. But also besides the nsfw parts the banter and the sort of instant connection all feel very real and unforced and i love that the end of the fic feels so open ended but also so light and hopeful and sweet. choosing to believe they meet for coffee the next day and it all goes swimmingly.

like she wants to try me on by baflegacy

this fic is about amanda in the submissive and breedable outfit and angela. It accomplishes eveeything you could want from that. Its Very nsfw. its VERY good. Writing smut is difficult on multiple levels- keeping it logistically and emotionally sound while keeping it spicy. It does all three really well. also the aftercare moment is really sweet. :]

bonus: its the subject of this ask so i didnt include it but shout out to an angel in neon blue- the tension is INCREDIBLE and the way the ending recontextualizes everything and leaves you unsure who was really in control the whole time is like. really impressive. The characterization is SO strong and feels so true to the Sarah Christ we know and creates an equally strong Creekside Killer characterization to juxtapose it. 👌

#this post is absolutely outing me as someone who sent amangela anons here on smoshblr huh. 😅 look. i like what i like.#amangela #smosh rpf #smosh fanfic #smosh fic #ask tag #this is def not all the amangela fics i like but ones i felt like i could best articulate my liking for haha.#in gen amangela fic writers are v talented! 👌#i spent maybe too long on this ask but it was fun and now i have a post storing some of my fave fics so thats a plus #hope directly tagging is not a faux pas of some kind 😬 lmk if you want me to untag or unlink #likewise for the one author who isnt on here... ill see if i can let them know maybe #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #(largely for my own tagging purposes)

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crispychann · 16 hours

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Unspoken :

A Tooru Oikawa fic!

Word Count : 3206

Genre: Slight fluff, angst

Humans, the one thing we love to do the most is to regret things. Of course, this is ironically speaking. Overthinking and letting an opportunity pass, wanting to never leave the comfort zone, thinking about the consequences, and more reasons lead to regrets.

What was the one thing you regretted not doing in the last semester of your school life? Was it procrastinating too much and having heaps to study before the exam? Or was it not spending enough time with other people outside your close friends, whom you would never see again? You’d like to be optimistic, but let’s be honest. It would be difficult to keep in touch with others, even your best friends. It’s not going to be the same as school. Or do you regret the several missed opportunities where you could have talked to Oikawa but backed away because you were scared?

You mostly regretted the last thing—not talking to Oikawa Tooru when you had the chance to. Nay, plenty of chances. You’ve always thought Oikawa was amazing. You attended all his matches mainly to support your school. The matches were always very intense, and you admired every player. They were all talented and deserved to win.

At first, you visited because you had heard about the intensity of these matches. The way everyone at school, including your best friends, spoke about it made it even more intriguing. They were not wrong. These volleyball matches were very intense, often against powerhouses, always keeping you on the edge of your seat.

During these matches, it was impossible not to notice the captain of Seijō, Oikawa Tooru. Oikawa is the kind of setter who knows his team inside out. He is fiercely competitive, always aiming to be the best, yet he balances this with genuine care for his teammates, understanding their strengths and weaknesses, and bringing out the best in each of them. He is an even better captain who always tries to keep the team spirit high, especially during tough situations. He knows his play, and he knows he’s good at it. What’s even more amazing than all this is his serve. His serve sends shivers down his opponents' spines. Even experienced players wish they never had to receive it. His serve streak is almost impossible to cut off.

Despite his massive talent, he continues to work hard and move forward. He practices till late every day and is never satisfied until he sees the results. Iwa, his best friend, basically drags him off the court every evening; otherwise, Oikawa wouldn’t leave.

Phew, that doesn’t even cover half of it. Okay, maybe you know a little more than necessary as just a mere spectator of the game. Only because you found Oikawa charming. Honestly, who wouldn’t? His presence is magnetic; you can't help but be captivated by the way he carries himself, brimming with confidence and playful charm. His smile always tinged with a mischievous glint, is infectious, lighting up any room he enters.

You admired him.

You wish you were as passionate as Oikawa about something but you just hadn't found that out yet.

It was not that long ago since you came across an empty volleyball court. Impossible you thought to yourself. You wanted to take a little peek inside to see if there was actually no one there. You opened the door carefully as you didn't want to make any noise and draw attention to you. Technically speaking it was your gym as much as it was the team’s. But everyone knows who needs the gym the most. The volleyball team obviously.

To your surprise, you were quite right. The gym was empty but the nets were still up and trolleys of balls were left outside the court instead of the store room. That was the perfect opportunity to address your curiosity. You have always wondered how it feels to hold the ball. You’ve never held a volleyball in your lifetime. You did not know if it was heavy or light. Are the balls so light that the spikers smash them to the ground effortlessly? The way it is served and the way that it is received? You were curious about everything. You were nearing the end of school. You wanted to try this out as volleyball was your school’s spirit after academics of course. You slowly approached to trolley and picked up a ball.

It was not as light as you expected it to be but it was not too heavy either. ‘Mmm not too bad’. You first tried to play with yourself. You just tried to hit the ball with your forearms, trying so hard to not drop it. ‘That wasn't that difficult, maybe I'm a natural’ you whisper to yourself. Now that you had boosted your ego, you wanted to serve from one side of the net to the other side. How hard could that be? You quickly threw the ball up in the air and slapped it real hard with your palm. BAD CHOICE. VERY HARD AND PAINFUL.

‘Son of a-’ you started to swear but you had to stop halfway because you heard someone laughing from behind where the storeroom was. Was it someone from the team? The coach perhaps? It was too embarrassing for you to turn around now.

‘You want to serve the ball to the other side of the court, not hurt your palm during the process’ a voice added. You had to turn around to avoid being rude. You were going to graduate soon and it is not like the whole team saw you anyway. ‘Can’t be that embarrassing’ you said to make yourself feel better.

Turns out it was just Oikawa who saw you and had a good time laughing from behind.

You knew a lot about him. How he plays, how he handles his team and how he reacts when he wins and loses his matches but you’ve never heard him speak. You had been in the same school for years yet neither of you had made a single conversation with the other till now. Surprising because you both are in the same year level but yet your worlds seem miles apart.

You turned around, cheeks burning with embarrassment, to find Oikawa leaning casually against the doorframe, a playful smirk on his face. “Need some help?” he offered, his voice friendly and inviting. “Uh, yeah, that would be great,” you stammered, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. Here he was, Oikawa Tooru, offering to teach you how to play volleyball.

He walked over, taking the ball from your hands. “First, you need to hold the ball like this,” he said, demonstrating the proper grip. “And when you serve, you want to hit it with the base of your palm, like this.” He tossed the ball up and effortlessly served it over the net.

You watched in awe as the ball sailed perfectly to the other side. “Wow,” you breathed. “That was amazing.”

Oikawa chuckled, handing the ball back to you. “Your turn. Don’t worry, I’ll guide you.”

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. Following his instructions, you tossed the ball up and hit it with the base of your palm. The ball made it over the net, barely not as gracefully as Oikawa’s serve.

“Not bad for a first try,” he said encouragingly. “With a bit more practice, you’ll get the hang of it.”

“I think I'm just seven years too late for that” you chuckle.

“Who says you can’t catch up? Arent you a natural y/n?” he retorted.

He had clearly heard you talking to yourself before.

“Can’t argue there Tooru. You better watch your back” you continued the banter. He couldn't contain his smile.

“I’m truly scared now” he replied. Before you could say anything else you heard another voice at the entrance of the gym “You better be scared Tooru because you were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago like you promised” Iwa deadpanned.

Before you could comprehend what was going on Tooru dashed to the bleachers to grab his kit. You did not blame him. Iwaizumi is a scary man. scary only because he cares for Oikawa and his teammates so dearly. Unlike Oikawa, you have spoken to Iwaizumi several times. You used to share a table with him a few years back. The good old days. If it wasn't for all the intense practices and matches the school went to, you and Iwaizumi could have been good friends. He’d miss some of the classes due to the matches and the other times he’d leave the next minute after the bell goes off to his practice. However, you still had fun with him when you sat together. You could almost call him a friend.

“Y/n, oh gosh how long has it been?” Iwa yelled out from the door walking towards the both of you. You could hear the excitement in his voice”

“Iwa!” you waved at him. Oikawa was surprised by this interaction. He didn't know that you both already knew each other. “Just when I was about to introduce to each other haha. Did not see this coming” he said to Iwaizumi.

“Neither did I Tooru, because y/n never used to set foot in the gym back when we used to be classmates. I practically used to beg her to.”

He was right. It was a few years ago but Iwa always tried to get you to come see the practice match and spend some time with him. You’d always come up with an excuse to avoid going to the gym. Mainly because you were lazy. Secondly, at the start of high school, you had to muster enough self-esteem to enter a gym teeming with boys, where the overwhelming presence and energy could be felt from a distance. The thought of all their eyes turning toward you as you entered was something you couldn’t bear then, and still can't now.

You couldn't help but feel guilty. That could have been the beginning of a beautiful friendship. A beautiful friendship that you never gave a chance to.

Your eyes gave it away. Iwa had to fill in the silence.

“I’m obviously kidding Y/N. please do not feel guilty. Besides you come to most of our matches now. I am very happy that you support us so please do not feel guilty” he said sweetly.

“I’m glad I started coming to the matches Iwa, honestly they are so worth it” you finally responded politely.

Iwaizumi grinned and gave you a nod before finally turning to Oikawa. “Home. Now” he ordered to Oikawa and slowly made his way back to the door and decided to wait for Oikawa.

“I’m sorry our practise sesh was cut short by Iwa Chan y/n. It was nice meeting you today,” he said hurriedly but you could also sense the genuineness from his tone.

“It’s alright, Tooru. I really appreciate the help. It was nice finally talking to you,” you replied with a smile.

He nodded, glancing at Iwaizumi who was waiting impatiently at the door. “We should do this again sometime. Maybe when Iwa isn’t around to drag me away,” he joked, winking at you.

You laughed softly, feeling a warmth spread through you. “I’d like that. Maybe I’ll even get better at serving.”

“I have no doubt you will,” Oikawa said, his eyes twinkling. “Just keep practising. And hey, if you ever need a coach, you know where to find me.”

A smile crawled upon your face.

As he started to walk away, he turned back one last time. “Goodnight, Y/N. And don’t be a stranger, alright?”

“Goodnight, Tooru. I will try my best” you chuckled, watching as he jogged over to Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi gave you a small wave and a smile before they both exited the gym. You stood there for a moment, processing everything that had happened. Your heart was still racing, but this time it wasn’t just from nerves—it was from mere excitement and a possibility of something. Maybe a friendship, maybe an inspiration or maybe something more.

It had been three months since that had happened. Even though Tooru said not to be a stranger, you were one. You went to all of their matches and cheered them on like you usually would. You would want to approach Oikawa in the hallway but you were always scared to do so. What if he was just being friendly? What if he was just trying to be polite? What if he actually has so much on his plate that he forgot about the whole interaction that we had? Why hasn't he approached me? You couldn't get these negative thoughts out of your head.

The school halls became a battleground of stolen glances. You'd catch sight of him laughing with his friends, his smile as radiant as ever, and your heart would skip a beat. Sometimes, you’d notice him looking your way, a fleeting glance that made your pulse race. It happened during class changes, in the cafeteria, and even during matches. You’d be in the stands, cheering along with the rest of the crowd, and sometimes, during a timeout, you’d see him scan the audience. Your eyes would meet for a brief second, a silent exchange that spoke volumes. In those moments, you felt a connection, a pull that urged you to break through your hesitation.

But the doubt remained. What if you were misreading everything? What if his smiles and glances were just friendly, nothing more? The uncertainty kept you frozen, unable to take that step forward.

The final match of the season was the most intense yet. Seijō was neck and neck with their opponent, and every point was fiercely contested. During a timeout, Oikawa looked over to the stands, his eyes searching. When they found yours, he smiled—a small, private smile that seemed meant just for you. Your heart soared, but the insecurity held you back.

After the match, the team celebrated their hard-earned victory. You stood on the sidelines, clapping along with everyone else, your eyes fixed on Oikawa. He was surrounded by his teammates, laughing and talking animatedly. You saw Iwaizumi give him a knowing look and nudge, pointing in your direction. Oikawa’s gaze followed, and for a moment, you thought he might come over. But then he was swept up in the post-match excitement, and the moment passed.

The days turned into weeks, and your silent longing only grew. Each time you saw him, the urge to talk to him intensified, but you never ended up doing it. You imagined conversations in your head, what you would say, how he might respond. But when the moment came, your courage faltered, and you would retreat into the safety of your routines.

Finally, the last day of school arrived. The halls were filled with students saying their goodbyes, reminiscing about the years they had spent together. You felt a pang of regret as you realized this was your last chance. You took a deep breath and decided to take one final look at the gym, hoping to find Oikawa there.

The gym was empty, the nets down, and the lights dimmed. You walked slowly, your footsteps echoing in the quiet space. Memories of the past few months flooded your mind, and you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of regret for all the missed opportunities.

As you turned to leave, you heard a familiar voice. “Y/N.”

You spun around to see Oikawa standing in the doorway, his expression a mix of surprise and relief. “Tooru,” you whispered, your heart pounding.

He walked over, his gaze never leaving yours. “I was hoping to find you here,” he said softly. “I guess we both had the same idea.”

You nodded, swallowing hard. “I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

Oikawa hesitated, then asked, “Why didn’t you ever approach me?”

You looked down, feeling the weight of his question. “I… I don’t know,” you admitted. “Why didn’t you?”

He sighed, frustration evident in his voice. “I don’t know either. But I’ve wanted to for so long.”

You looked up, meeting his eyes. “Me too. There were so many times I wanted to talk to you, but something always held me back.”

A moment of silence passed, filled with the weight of all the unspoken words and missed opportunities. “Why did we have to meet this late, huh?” you said, your voice tinged with sadness.

“Timing,” Oikawa said with a bitter smile. “Timing is always a bitch.”

He paused, then continued, “I’m going to play volleyball in college. What about you?”

You shrugged, feeling a lump in your throat. “I haven’t decided yet. Everything feels so uncertain.”

He nodded, his expression softening. “You’ll figure it out. You’re incredible, Y/N. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Thank you, Tooru,” you whispered, tears threatening to fall. “Good luck with everything. I know you’ll be amazing.”

There was a long pause, both of you standing there, the air heavy with everything left unsaid. Oikawa broke the silence first, his voice gentle. “Do you mind if we… hug? Just as a friendly goodbye?”

You smiled, feeling a mix of relief and sadness. “I’d like that.”

He stepped closer, his arms wrapping around you in a warm, comforting embrace. You hugged him back, holding on tightly as if trying to make up for all the missed chances in this one moment. The hug was long, lingering, filled with all the unspoken words and what-ifs. You could feel the regret and longing in the way he held you, and you knew he felt it too.

As you stood there, wrapped in his arms, you both understood the significance of this hug. It wasn’t just a friendly gesture—it was a farewell to what could have been, and a tentative promise for what might still come. The regret of missed opportunities weighed heavily, but there was also a sense of closure, of acknowledging what you had shared, however fleeting.

Finally, Oikawa pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. “You’re going to do great things, Y/N. I know it.”

“Thank you, Tooru. So will you,” you said, your voice thick with emotion.

He released you reluctantly, and you both stepped back, the moment hanging in the air. “It was really nice getting to know you, Oikawa,” you said softly.

“It was really nice getting to know you too, Y/N,” he replied, his eyes reflecting the same mix of emotions.

Just before you turned to leave, he reached into his pocket and handed you a small piece of paper. “Here’s my number. Maybe we can keep in touch.”

You took it, your heart swelling with a mix of hope and sadness. “Thank you, Tooru. I’d like that.”

He smiled, a hint of the mischievous glint you had come to admire. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too, Oikawa.”

With one last lingering look, you both turned and walked away, parting ways with heavy hearts. As you left the gym, you felt the weight of all the missed chances pressing down on you. But there was also a glimmer of hope—a possibility that maybe, just maybe, you could reconnect and build something new.

#oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa x reader #fanfic #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #seijoh #ahoba josai #iwaizumi hajime #volleyball #anime #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #haikyuu oikawa #Spotify

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monstersdownthepath · 1 year

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Monster Spotlight: Succubus

CR 7

Chaotic Evil Medium Outsider

Bestiary 1, pg. 68 (image from 2e’s Bestiary 1, pg 77)

Ah, the succubus. The good ol’ honey trap, perhaps the oldest in myth; agents of the Abyss sent to inspire mortals to spiral towards Chaotic Evil deeds to secure pleasures beyond anything they can feel normally, luring them into the embrace of sin to perpetuate the demon’s hold on the universe. There are perhaps few other demons who’ve inspired as many mortals to throw their morals aside in the pursuit of petty pleasures and flimsy promises. Whereas most demons are concerned only with momentary amusement and few long-term plans, succubi are all about long-term plans, and any momentary amusement they draw from their lurid acts with mortals is out of knowing their actions are all for the eventual benefit of the Abyss and the dissolution of mortal civilization.

... okay, there’s probably more than a little personal enjoyment in there for them, too, and not just physical pleasure. It’s a sport for these demons! Succubi see corruption as a competition and tend to fixate on “hard to get” types; pushing mortals who’re on the edge of Evil is okay, but pushing them from Good and all the way into Evil is satisfying. It’s the act of driving someone once good to commit hideous evils and despicable depravities that really sparks joy in these fiends, and the sensation is nearly incomparable for them. Fittingly enough, nearly their entire kit revolves around causing this to happen, one way or another.

Their most dangerous weapon in this regard isn’t any of their spell-likes, special abilities, or any attacks they have: it’s their +27 to Bluff, so titanically high that basically no level-appropriate adventurers will be able to pierce their lies without some kind of magic, and even level 10+ parties can be fooled by a basic succubus with no class levels. Without offering so much as a kiss or caress, a succubus’ monstrous Bluff can see them wearing NPCs or even players around their fingers, and this is before they put their at-will Charm Monster to work. yes, Charm Monster, meaning it works on everything (like nosy familiars and animal companions who could reveal what they are), and its DC 22 save gives it a good chance to stick against everyone and everything in the party that isn’t immune to the charm condition, so even if you can surpass their Bluff, it won’t matter.

If you think it’s not entirely fair, you’re right! And it just keeps getting worse: Succubi have Suggestion at will as pure social overkill to cover for what few mistakes they make or to get inquisitive mages and Paladins off their backs... and it caps out with the fiends’ Dominate Person 1/day when they need to cheat at the Subtle Manipulation game. Able to take any Humanoid shape, speak any language, and even read minds to better sculpt their bluffs, it’s unlikely they’ll ever need to use Dominate... but it’s always a nasty surprise for any party that’s finally gotten them to shed their disguises and pushed them to fight, especially if it turns out their frontliner got Dominated minutes ago.

Succubi aren’t made for combat, having only a pair of claws that would struggle to kill even a Commoner in a single round, and though their at-will Vampiric Touch gives them deceptive staying power, a wise succubus will never, ever have to enter combat in the first place... and, frustratingly, have both Ethereal Jaunt and Greater Teleport to escape if they’re overwhelmed. They’re far more dangerous without initiative ever rolling, and many tales can be told of unlucky parties who made the mistake of trusting one of these disguised fiends and being picked apart by them before they ever revealed they were a demon. After all, victims are only a single flirty kiss away from being sapped by the demon’s Energy Drain, instilling two negative levels on the unfortunate sap... and each show of affection carries a subtle Suggestion to make the victim keep kissing the demon even as it drinks their life from them. Even if they survive and break away, they’re now considerably weakened and far more vulnerable to the demon’s words and spells.

You can read more about them here.

#Monster Spotlight #CR 6 to 10 #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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pokerninja2 · 1 year

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Tonight's breakdown will be covering two characters at once! I was originally going to do just Daisy, and then I realized I didn't really have anything to say about her as far as references or inspirations go. So, I decided to group her with Rosalina, and get the rest of the Mario princesses (that I've done) out of the way! Keep in mind Rosalina's gonna have more about her though.

So to start with Daisy, her outfit is the same as Peach, being a skin-tight suit allowing for a lot more flexibility than a poofy dress would. While Peach has a heart pattern on her suit though, Daisy has an odd white pattern on her legs. Daisy fans might recognize this as the pattern her dress used to have in the classic games, and they'd be right! I thought it would be a nice touch and help set her apart from Peach design-wise. As far as other references go, her Flower Power attack was directly based on her star swing in Mario Super Sluggers, only instead of walling opponents out with a garden of flowers, she traps them inside one!

Overall, I'm pretty happy with Daisy. I mentioned when I talked about Peach that I was pretty nervous about drawing the Mario girls back in the day, and I think Daisy fared the best here. I like her jumping to spike the ball, really fits with her competitive edge. I think the expression she's making looks great too.

Now for Rosalina, who I have a lot more to say about. I made her for Mar10 day last year, so I wanted to make her inclusion special. What I ended up doing was pairing her up with a cream-colored Luma - the first one she met and sent her to space in the first place! I thought that would be a really cute touch.

Also means she gets to have a Luma play beside her like in Mario Kart Wii! I have had clinical depression ever since that was removed in MK7. Bring Luma Back You Cowards!!!!

Unlike Daisy, Rosalina's outfit is pretty different from Peach. The top is similar, but she has a flowing dress at the bottom with white leggings. I wanted to match how Rosalina often has a slightly different outfit to Peach and Daisy in games like Mario Golf and Mario Tennis. To that end, I think the design I gave her works well!

And then there's Rosalina's attacks. Black Hole is obviously based on the black holes Mario could get sucked in in the Galaxy games, although the art makes it look less menacing. She's probably holding back their true power so they don't actually disintegrate the competitors. And finally her Super Spike, which is based on the ending in Galaxy 1 where the Comet Observatory rockets Mario to the center of the universe! It's just as strong and powerful, so you can imagine how fast the ball would go if a literal comet smashed into it.

I mostly like how Rosalina turned out, although I will say I'm not super satisfied with how I drew her. I feel the posing is a bit too stiff, and I could have made it look more lively. I really should draw her and the other princesses more to get a better feel for them. Maybe sometime soon I'll redraw her, I think I've gotten a lot more confident over the past few years doing art.

And that's generally all I wanted to cover tonight. Got both remaining princesses done at once, although like I said it was really kind of just me talking about Rosalina. Still, I hope this was interesting for fans of both!

#mario #super mario #mario fanart #daisy #princess daisy #rosalina #princess rosalina #mario galaxy #super mario galaxy #mario princess #daisy fanart #rosalina fanart #Super Mario Spikers #wow reading this over now I said nothing about daisy lol #sorry! there's just not a whole lot I could say about her

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thepercy6andtheradicalsabbatical · 1 year

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Rome to Napoli -

We woke up, packed moderately frantically and hopped on the metro back to Rome termini. Matt had decided to take the free 3 hour regional train rather than paying a reservation fee for the faster 2 hour train, but we were pleased to find that it was not super crowded and reasonably well air conditioned. Our airbnb hosts offered to pick us up at the train station (“a free service included with the rental”), so we took advantage even though it looked like a pretty short walk. Antonio picked us up at our arranged meeting point, a Mexican restaurant that was about 9 min from the station then drove us for about 4 minutes to the place (we think we could've walked in all on our own in about 15 min 😂). Along the way he excitedly told us about how Napoli had won the Scudetto for the first time since Maradona was on the team and how they had 3 different parties to celebrate. We arrived at the place to find his brother and sister waiting for us and they all excitedly helped check us in and carry our stuff upstairs, at times talking over each other in their eagerness to give us advice. They were very kind, if a little overwhelming, and we definitely appreciated the printed list of their favorite pizza places in Napoli that they showed us. Napoli is the home of both buffalo mozzarella and pizza so Matt planned to have his diet only contain those things for the next 48 hours if at all possible. We then set out to explore and took the metro to what our hosts had recommended as the best nearby park for children, marveling en route at the amount of Napoli colored streamers and championship banners as well as Maradona tribute posters there were everywhere. The area we were staying in definitely felt the most rough around the edges of anywhere we’d stayed so far so we were looking forward to some park time for a change of scenery. On arrival we noted a sign stating many of the things we had planned to do were prohibited in the park (ie soccer/frisbee) so we let the kids play at a tiny playground for a bit, then they spontaneously started doing time trial sprints around a small loop in the path. We moved them along once that got a little too competitive and eventually came to a larger green space with lots of chairs set out in the grass and several other groups playing with soccer balls and other ball games. We decided to allow the kids to play soccer here as well and Henry/Oli again recruited an Italian boy to play with them (no one hassled us for breaking park rules as far as we could tell). The girls played some too and also found what seemed to be an extensive apartment complex of feral cats in a clearing there. Matt then led the family in search of a Maradona mural he saw on google maps. We took a funicular down a big hill into the Spanish quarter to find it. The Spanish quarter definitely was not touristy with big groups of local old men sitting out in tiny squares shooting the breeze, very limited sidewalks to speak of and people cruising around corners on vespas at breakneck speed. We survived our harrowing pilgrimage and found the Maradona mural (though we came to find out there were Maradona murals almost everywhere). We then hit up what our hosts had called “the main street of pizza” and went to a place called Matteo’s. It was number 4 on their list but we couldn’t pass up the name. All were satisfied with their meals and we emerged from the restaurant into a downpour. We quickly grabbed dessert and headed home, getting somewhat drenched (again) in the process.

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maytheoddshq · 1 year

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Carol Eyre (he/him). District Four Mentor. 129 Victor. Twenty-Two. Felix Mallard.

Carol was raised in a spiritual family, strongly in touch with water deities and elemental strength. His father preached, pastor-like, to the Northern community by the ocean, and his mother was a kind teacher. They never had to ask for more, until Carol started asking for more. Always more, as if in a competition with life itself. Nothing satisfied him. Even if his stomach were filled by the end of dinner, he’d still pour himself a second bowl of fish soup. For strength, for wisdom, and because he could.

Five-year-old Carol used to go fishing with his uncle, and stare at the grand ocean until it ate the sun. Because the ocean was infinite, he could never get tired of it. At seven, he decided he wanted to know every inch of the water spreading in front of them. At nine, he realized that no matter how much he would walk, one border to another between the Four counties, he would still not fathom it all. He started walking more, and more, tens of thousands of steps a day, but for nothing. At the end of the day, the ocean changed its face before the next sunrise.

At eleven years old, he came with another bold demand. He wanted to enroll in the Academy, where no member of his family had interest of going before. They weren’t fighters. They loved their life, the fish the water gods gave them, the protection they thought they had from the Games if they kept a prayer in mind and their hearts pure. Carol never relied on the purity of his heart. He wanted certainty, and he deemed the community that raised him as out of touch with reality. The spring after his eleventh birthday, they sent him to the Academy. Nobody could win over an argument with him, not if he put on his signature pout. The boy was spoiled, stubborn to the core and as restless as the sea – and his parents seemed to indulge it.

How did they feel about the games before being reaped?

From there on, everything went downhill for the Eyres’ sweet boy, gradually turning into a solemn killing machine. Carol spent most of his time at the Academy, perfecting his trident skills. His passion, however, had always been trap-building. He had a creative mind for it, and the slow-burn capture excited him. After all, the best part of going fishing with his uncle had always been that small victory of realizing the fish had taken the bait.

Suddenly, everything turned to poison. The Hunger Games becoming a palpable presence in his life made him cruel. He had to learn not just how to set traps or fight with a couple of sharp objects, but to kill, too. Gutting fish wasn’t enough. It felt impersonal, and killing was very, very personal to him. For a whole summer, he worked as a butcher helper at a farm nearby. His pescatarian family was horrified, but at least that way, he got acquainted with blood.

The Hunger Games turned from scary to natural. The more control he had of the trident, the more comfortable and quicker his fingers were at tying knots, the more electrifying the thought of trying out the edge of death was. Nothing matters, anyway. Nothing matters unless you have a say, unless it is your decision leading you where you are supposed to be. With traps, everyone has a choice – to either walk into it or not. Volunteering for the Hunger Games is a choice. It’s both walking into the trap and setting it. The same way love is a trap, too.

Rio, however, was not a choice, not the way Carol sees it. Academy superstar, Finnick Odair’s grandson, handsome, unattainable, unreachable, a couple of years older and the closest thing to knowing the whole ocean by heart. For this one, Carol set himself up. In reality, it was a choice over and over again. At fifteen years old, he picked him specifically to obsess over. Nobody is saying it wasn’t an easy choice – it was a choice that made itself – but it still was a decision, a life sentence he gave himself. Carol decided on crushing on him one day, and it didn’t leave his mind since. For him, he fought, hitting right and left with his elbows, to stand out. He did all he could to be noticed, to get him, to secure him like the tallest trophy in the Academy.

In a year, they became a thing. Even in love, they were never a pretty thing. They were a deadly thing, a thing that feeds each other’s passion, and violence, and rebellion. For him, he gave up the trident as his main training weapon, and picked up a complementary weapon instead. There was no better duo in the entire Academy. However, instead of fighting together, they soon started to fight each other. Their honeymoon phase didn’t last for long. They broke up relatively soon into the relationship, but it only made the bond between them stronger.

Carol wasn’t a nice ex. Rio had never been nice to begin with. While masterfully avoiding each other inside the Academy, they sought each other’s company privately. Carol threw stones almost to break his window. They were no longer together, but that wasn’t what they were made for to begin with. This light suited them much, much better. It wasn’t healthy, but it was by far more exhilarating to hate him than to play nice and hold hands. This arrangement worked even better. The late night meetings in secret, the tension from fighting at the Academy, the arguing, the sex, the jealousy – they were all part of the deal.

When Rio volunteered, Carol couldn’t hear anything over his heartbeat. He was going into the Hunger Games, something that was always going to happen, and he might not come back. The surprise took something from him, Rio’s smug grin on that stage where people hop on and never come back made for a haunting picture. But he got it, he got it, it was their very culture. And he would make it back – there was no death for Rio.

For those five days, it was him in that arena. Carol would never admit to this. For those five days, he hadn’t left the perimeter of the square television in the Academy campus shared kitchen. Once he thought about how addicted, how heart on the edge he was about it, he wanted the information burned. But Rio got back, gloriously so. Did he ever doubt it would happen? No. Feared it? Just maybe.

Next Games, he had to follow him, even in near death, especially in near death. There was no other way; there shouldn’t have been a thing Rio had done without him, no leverage over him. He hoped he was doing to Rio what Rio had done to him.

What was their trajectory in the arena & how did they win their game?

This story happens without Rio in it. The Vegas spin, sand in his mouth, glass cutting through his memory, but one thing to the story changes, and changes everything. Rio doesn’t die. Rio is at home fitting the complexity of his feelings, out of which he understands none, into five word notes.

So it’s Carol versus this spiteful girl from District Twelve, who has grown immensely in popularity during the pre-arena. She can put up a fight – she even promised him a fight. So he hunts her down. So she’s more danger than initially imagined. So she is still gutted by the end of it.

There’s a joke here somewhere. That’s what Rio first wrote, signed in his name and still deeply too cryptic of a reference to the old “How’s your head?” “Never had any complaints” joke.

It’ll melt. For icecubes in a small container: water in form of a punishment and always proving the cold between them. Carol found it frustratingly funny, like most else about them.

But then, then came the trident, with an unassumingly detached note, and detached he then won, first finishing Poppy and then Jupiter, the District Five child that, really, stood no chance. You know what to do.

How were they affected by their experiences in the game?

In the bloodbath, he’d been pushed into a marble pillar, hit his head and knocked years’ worth of memories out of his mind. The amnesia spiraled him over five years ago. The amnesia passed. The amnesia sometimes returns, especially when exposed to shock. It’s a hole in his mind that sometimes overflows. A mind is a price to pay. He didn’t want to have afforded it.

What are they like as a mentor?

Rio and Carol are a mentoring duo that goes clockwork, no matter how much they live off disagreement and scorn in their private lives. They’re a point of interest and press focus, but somehow, they always slip in the gaps, they always get away with ambiguity and the sort of dynamic that intrigues the Capitol because no one can put a finger on it, define it, make sense of any of it.

Carol feels similarly. They fuck sometimes – they fight, sometimes at the same time. There is still this inbalance that’s the most secure thing they’ve each had in their lives. Sometimes it’s dramatic, sometimes they get fooled into accidental tenderness. However, as mentors, they are an excellent team, playing an untalked about agreement on good cop, bad cop. At the same time, any tribute on their team is put into a serious, nonnegotiable program of intense training, and image consulting.

What is their personality?

The Academy is the closest thing to the sacred for Carol, but they’re not gods either. Nothing is. Nothing matters. Not quite a loose cannon, but opinionated enough to get into arguments with even Finnick Odair himself (been there, done that), Carol knows his way around antipathy with a little bit of playful charm and the everlasting argument of “let’s agree to disagree”, implying he knows best what is good for himself. Hateable but not entirely, there’s something glimmerish about him that fools you a little.

He’s obnoxious, proud, hateful, difficult and posing as open and malleable. There is a gloating glow about having won – about both having won back to back. A terrible person who has defeated hubris and gets to drink nectar for the rest of his life doesn’t need to work on self improving, right?

Three strengths and three weaknesses.

(+) persistent (+) strategic (+) spectacular

He doesn’t panic, and he doesn’t tire – he just sets his nets, his traps, and, with a deadly certainty, he watches it unfold. In society, too. None of this is poetry, but there is something deeply theatrical to it. He does everything he is doing with style, and that’s at least half of the point.

(-) obsessive (-) stubborn (-) dramatic

Once there is something on his mind, it’s difficult to shake it off. He will not give in, in this infinite search for the infinite, for something that doesn’t quite exist. Whether it’s the high of blood or the high of love, or the high of absolution, he doesn’t know, but it certainly doesn’t exist and, despite that, he will not let go.

Penned by: R

#oc rp #oc rpg #thg rp #thg rpg #lsrp #lsrpg

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tailsrevane · 1 year

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[tv review] ds9 1x01-03 (1993)

1x01 & 1x02 “emissary”

the general consensus on season 1 of ds9 is that it’s bad & boring, and like, in a way fair enough? but there’s also just absolutely no comparing it to season 1 of tng, so i oftentimes find myself resisting this take even though it’s kinda totally fair.

still, this larger narrative actually has zero bearing on the show’s pilot episodes. this two-parter was pretty easily the best star trek pilot ever at the time given that its only competition was either tos’s “the cage” or “where no man has gone before” (or both, depending on how you wanna count it, idk) and tng’s “encounter at farpoint.” among its contemporaries i also think it definitively edges out voyager’s “caretaker,” though not by nearly so wide of a margin. i think it’s since been surpassed by the first episodes of virtually every installment of nutrek, minus the last ten minutes or so of both of discovery’s first two episodes. but regardless, this is just a fantastic two-parter and a great way to pass the torch from tng.

linking sisko’s backstory to picard and the most celebrated episode of tng was an especially shrewd move, and having the two of them initially butting heads was a great way to differentiate sisko immediately. not that he actually ended up needing the help considering how strong his characterization is and how amazingly avery brooks plays him throughout the series. on top of that, like… as a star trek fan, it’s just undeniably satisfying to actually finally get to see some of the carnage at wolf 359 instead of just the aftermath.

beyond that, this two-parter had so many characters to introduce and so much to set up about the setting, and i think it pulled all of that off admirably. a-rank

1x03 “past prologue”

i 100% agree with the decision to swap this episode in as the first episode after the pilot instead of that episode where odo is being oppressed for being a cop. like, even leaving my personal & political feelings out of the equation, kira is just blatantly the more important & interesting of the two characters, and getting her & sisko on something resembling the same page feels like the most important thread that needed picking up after the pilot.

moving this episode up also helped reiterate the importance of bajor and the wormhole both to the show’s narrative and to the politics of the universe, so kind of a double whammy of obviousness there.

… also also, although it’s inexplicably his only appearance in the first season, this gets us to my problematic husband garak sooner, and that’s obviously very important. his interactions with dr. bashir (and others) in this first appearance are just fucking priceless, and this show will always be better off the more garak it has in it. and this episode is fully like 50% garak insinuating that he’s a spy, bashir pouncing on it like an overeager puppy, and garak denying it and making bashir feel silly.

it’s gonna taper off soon, but ds9 season 1 actually gets off to quite a strong start all things considered. a-rank

#star trek #star trek deep space nine #star trek ds9 #ds9 #garak

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theblogs2024 · 1 month

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Unmasking CS2 External: The Truth Behind Legit Dishonest In On the web Gaming

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Check out more details here: cs2 legit cheating

#cs2 legit cheating #cs2 external legit cheating #cs2 xp farm boost bot #Youtube

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chocolatetittymilk · 2 months

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“I’m in love with you!” Series

Alhaitham x reader Summary — Alhaitham has never been one for social interactions - in fact, neither of you knew each other in the first place. His pride never allowed anyone to befriend him fully. Until you decide to confess your love to him bluntly one morning, ultimately changing his perspective about you. TW : angst-comfort, unrequited love, strangers to enemies to lovers, possible smut, aged-up characters suggestive themes MINORS DNI word count : 2k

pt. 2 - "That's stupid, kind of like you."

pt. one

The deafening silence around the table was very prominent. A mixture of shock and disbelief was evident in the air. From what had come out of his mouth and the fact that he knew you.

Everyone knew Alhaitham was never the social type, so for him to so bluntly and almost easily confront you was… out of character.

To the Gods, he made your blood boil. His snarky remarks, his cocky attitude, his attractive little smirk- wait.

Just that thought made you snap. No way in hell would you be interested in him again.

"That's stupid, kind of like you."

The bluntness dripping from your words made Candace gasp a little, and almost everyone's eyes widened. All except Alhaitham.

Tighnari started to speak up, ear twitching a little “Hey let’s calm down-“

"And why do you propose that?" A challenge, the eyebrow raises, and a hint of a smirk. Teal eyes having a hint of a spark in them. “Unless you’re just saying that for whatever ideology you have for yourself.” This was a challenge.

"Well, for instance, not everyone can constantly take care of themselves. There is always something scrutinizing our bodies that we will have to handle and take care of. If we were to, and I quote you, 'properly take care of ourselves' then there would be no time left for anything else." You raise your eyebrow back at him. Challenge accepted.

"Now you'll probably wonder, 'What things do we have to do that take up so much space and time'. Proper routines including hygiene, sleep patterns, dietary concerns, exercise, intellectual needs, and well... sexual needs." Tighnari choked on his drink at the last bit.

"Oh, sorry, I was just trying to be specific." Trying to feign innocence, you smirk a little, observing Alhaitham's face carefully. The tip of his ears was slightly red, only the faintest hue. 'Gotcha.'

Alhaitham beats his eyes to the side, face not showing any hint of discomfort... minus the heat creeping up on his neck. "That's a bit unrealistic."

"For you?" You quipped back, hand under your chin leaning on it looking fondly up at him. A satisfying smirk sneaks onto your face. His stare hardens just slightly, the urge to wipe your smirk off your face was ever the more pronounced. Cat catching his tongue, Kaveh cleared his throat, his face having the faintest hint of red. "So, anyone up for drinks?"

An hour or two passes as everyone sits around the table chatting away. Cups of beer poured, dishes served, Cyno’s card game played. Even if Cyno was competitive and barely trying to win, it was all calming.

Everyone was in their own conversations; games were being stopped and drinks were being poured. For a social gathering, it was actually nice.

Until it wasn’t.

“So you know Alhaitham.” Cyno said quietly to you, everyone too involved in conversations to notice. It's not a question, more of a statement: a matter of fact.

Irritation slightly increased at the question. ‘People always wanting to get personal, hmm?’ Internally sighing, you clear your throat, “I suppose you could say that.” You tapped your cup lightly - a little on edge.

“Well, he clearly knows you and, well, maybe a little interested.” He said with a little laugh. You raise an eyebrow at his words. “What is that supposed to mean? The only thing Alhaitham finds interesting is books and music.” You snort a little and take a swig of your drink.

Cyno snickers a little at your statement. He leans in a bit, subtly. “You think he goes out of his comfort zone like that?” You eye Alhaitham as you listen to Cyno.

Alhaitham’s teal eyes observed Kaveh and Dehya’s conversation, only rarely throwing in a remark about Kaveh to, well, Kaveh.

The teal-eyed man was hard to understand, to say the least. He was straightforward, cocky, prideful, quiet yet loud in his acknowledgment, sly, and always having ulterior motives... It was almost like he was backwards.

And with this conclusion, you've strung up by yourself, you thought back to when you first noticed him, thinking he was one of the most capable options for a partner... But maybe you were wrong.

“Okay maybe he doesn’t, but for what it’s worth, it’s worth nothing.” You replied, taking your eyes off the silver-haired man and onto Cyno. “Once he’s intrigued, he’ll quench his thirst somehow.” Ironically you take a drink of your beverage.

Cyno pauses for a while, trying to decipher what you’re thinking, or maybe feeling. Suddenly interrupted, Kaveh stands up, being his extravagant self once more.

''I just wanted to thank everyone for this get-together, it's been more than enjoyable..." Kaveh looks to the side to Alhaitham, a grim expression on his face. ".... almost at least."

Everyone laughs or chuckles, and you give a little snicker as the silver-haired man rolls his eyes.

"NOW LET'S GET WASTED!"

“Heh… you like that?”

Heavy pants fill your ears. His deep voice. His strong arms. Hot. That’s all you felt along with his touches against your skin.

"P-please..." you mumble, moaning ever so softly as he trailed his lips down your neck. Hickies littering your neck. Hands gripping your hips, trying to keep you from squirming. Your hands come up to his hair, slightly tugging his locks.

And by the Gods, his groans were just making you wetter. Trying to clench your thighs at the noise yet he made sure they stayed open.

"Patient." His glowing teal eyes teased, whispering as he went lower. Demanding, wanting, needing. His hands tugged at your skirt, teasing you. You moan out again, louder. "F-fuck..."

"C'mon, I know you can do better than that sweetheart." His breath on your neck, kissing you lower to your cleavage. Biting down on your neck, you yelp a little, the pain going straight to your core.

"Al-Alhaitham!"

The alarm blares into your ears as you shoot up, breathing heavily and sweat against your skin. A mess, you could already feel it between your legs.

Did you just... have a wet dream about Alhaitham?

You groan a little, shutting off your alarm and slamming yourself back on your bed. Closing your eyes, the dream almost inked in your head...

'Fuck.'

You opened your eyes, hands already tugging at your hair in frustration. "Fuck me." You look to the side to check what time it was. 7:45 am. "FUCK!"

Running around your place, you hurry to get your shit together. You're late. "DOUBLE FUCK!" You scream brushing your teeth while putting on socks.

You were never late, never. Even when you were sick with the flu and quite literally dying in the back of the classroom, you still attended. You were almost at the top of the class, having Alhaitham and you compete for the top of course. You believed there was no time for dilly-daddling or slacking for your goals and future. And it doesn't help that you didn't feel the best waking up this morning. Maybe it was the dream...

In a hurry, you try to remember what the hell happened last night. Bits and pieces are a bit fuzzy, but still some moments that aren't. 'Took a couple of shots with Kaveh... Ate a little... Took more drinks? Uh...' Putting a product in your hair, you grab your bag and put your hair up quickly.

'Candace and Dehya leaving with Layla... Tighnari left afterwards I think...' You start sprinting across the streets of Sumeru, trying to get to your class as fast as possible. 'Fuck... Alhaitham and I walking towards my house?'

Eyes widening at the realization, and not paying attention whatsoever, had you crashing into a hard object. Crashing to the floor, bag slipping out of your hand, hand scraping pavement. 'Fuck.' (times 10 by now?)

"Excuse me?" A hardened voice says. Maybe you crashed into a very vocal hard object...

You look up, a little dazed from the hard knockout. Eyes meeting with familiar teal ones. His eyes narrow and his eyebrows clearly show he's frustrated... or is that irritation? Might as well be the same thing if it's coming from him.

"I know you're spatially unaware of both you and others, but try not to be as clumsy next time... It's embarrassing." Alhaitham's monotone voice pierces the silence.

'Asshole.'

You look up at him some more, suddenly feeling too lightheaded to really reply. "I-I'm sorry." mumbling out, a wave of exhaustion hits you. "I'm a bit late for class and didn't see where I was going..." You scramble to get your belongings, your head pounding a little. Then you hear a heavy sigh, and a hand reached out to you.

"You probably didn't realize, being all distracted and uncoordinated, that we don't have classes today. Or even for the week, for that matter." Alhaitham grabs a notebook off the ground and hands it to you, unconsciously scanning your face for anything concerning or worth the attention.

You turn to him, squinting your eyes, "I get it, you hate me, but blatantly trying to get me to fail is a low for even you." His face then morphs into one of pure annoyance.

"I try to be kind for once and this is my repayment... Typical." The silver-haired man scoffs and starts turning around.

"Hey! I'm not done talking to you!" You yell towards him, picking up your pace. Wobbling a little from him knocking you through the fucking pavement, you slowly catch up to his strides.

OH, he made your blood boil. Always walking around like he can do anything and everything. Where's his dignity? His principles?? Manners?! Maybe he'd have people who actually enjoyed his stupid company if he wasn't such a stuck-up jerk face.

Alhaitham, back turned to you, almost reaching his patience with you. "Mid-terms. It's the middle of the year." speaking bluntly he swiftly turns your way. Getting a little in your personal space, arms crossed.

"I don't know if it's the drinking last night, or your pure idiocy, but we spent just this last week going over what is needed for our mid-terms next week." Annoyance was dripping from the man, your face flushing slightly.

You try to scramble your thoughts together, searching for any hint of truth behind the man's words. And, unfortunately for you, he was indeed correct. 'How could I space that?' Your eyes dart around his face for any lies. 'Well, he didn't need to remind me rudely...'

"I must've spaced it... My apologies." You say, truly embarrassed. But what you didn't see was his eyes softening only the slightest bit. Remorse? Sympathy? Or maybe it was pity.

"It's fine, I'll let your slip-up go this once." Alhaitham smirks a little, his teasing tone only coming out just a little. You roll your eyes and throw a small grin his way. "I'm heading to the library to do some studies for a project I'm working on. You're free to come along if you wish."

Your eyes spark a little at his invitation. Maybe... maybe he wasn't so bad.

"What, are you not studying for mid-terms?" You ask, both of you already walking toward the library, side by side.

Alhaitham smirks a little bit, pride already seeping from his expression. "Of course not, I already know I'll ace it with flying colors."

You roll your eyes again, and honestly, you shouldn't be surprised. Alhaitham has always been a star student. Maybe that's why you took an interest in him from the beginning, someone who competed with your intellect. He always knew the answer even when you didn't, always asking for extra credit alongside him even when neither of you needed it. And lastly, both of you hated any extracurriculars that included socializing.

You shook your head lightly, laughing a little at his confidence. Still messy from this morning, your hair bounces around the frame of your face.

"Shouldn't expect any less from the great Alhaitham."

And maybe it was your snarky little comments that you weren't afraid to say, or the sun hitting against your face just right. But Alhaitham found his heart picking up a few paces.

pt. three here | "im in love with you!" Series m!list

notes : hello! if you want to be part of or taken off of the tag list for this series, please let me know in the comments or DM me (: thanks hunnies

tag list :

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#iminlovewithyou series #alhaitham #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin angst #al haitam x reader

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