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amphibious-entity · 3 years

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TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

#the mysterious benedict society #this took me like three days to finish rip #it’s worked though! i feel less of a Mighty Need to think about this stuff constantly now #however!!! today through some conniving i have gotten the Second Book #now I’m at 3 out of 4 infinity stones. muahahaha #was going to include my villain origin story about why i like show!SQ so much but cut it for being too long and irrelevant. however #if the words jeff naomi and Sweet Dreams are Made of These mean anything to you please hit me up. it’s kind of a funny story

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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moondustaeil · 3 years

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𝐫𝐞:𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞.

↳ Ambrosia's not-so-happy life update.

trigger warning, this post includes: weight loss, food, calorie counting, disordered eating habits, suicide, insecurities, fears.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭, 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭?

As I contemplate whether I should make an earnest post look as aesthetic as possible, my eyes are tearing up to Lee Chansub's "Gone". Therefore, this chapter gets named after his lyrics.

Since when was it? It's a question that crosses my mind after deciding on the chapter name, even though I'm well aware of the number of days that have passed. Each day I write that significant number in my journal, but there must be more than the pen can write. Beyond my awareness: there must have been a certain amount of time spent on a prologue to pen down the event that ultimately led to this chapter.

Since where was it? There could be multiple meanings behind the question, but I can only formulate a limited answer despite the openness. As far as I'm in charge of this story, there is no why or where. Yes, I quite literally woke up one day and decided to go on a diet, simple as that. Before that day, dieting never crossed my mind: I never saw my body as too much or myself as too little compared to others. Can you understand now why I think a prologue was written for me and not by me?

Anyhow, let's have a look at how I think I experienced my life before the diet. Sometimes I think I don't even remember how I experienced the last moments of it, but that doesn't mean I don't know how it went. My life before the diet was pretty plain: I didn't engage in any social or physical activities and spent most of my time behind my laptop to write or lurk around on YouTube. Eating-habit-wise, I never ate much: three meals a day with occasional snacks, those snacks probably covering more calories than my meals did. Despite eating calorie-covering snacks, I would have given my all for fruit and vegetables, especially frozen fruit. Back then, I already had significant eating habits: I'd eat nuts when I was stressed, drink smoothies while studying for exams, eat sour sweets when I was bored. My body before the diet wasn't that noteworthy: I maintained the same weight for around three years and only ditched my tight jeans because covid had me feeling too lazy to wear them. A youth like this might sound boring to you, but I gladly lived my life like this and, I don't regret the way I spent it.

I can still recall up to two days before it began: I can tell the contents of those days like I was the supporting cast instead of the main character, simply because I can't remember the emotions. The two last days were spent behind my laptop, waiting for the exam results while eating spicy nuts (to keep the stress level low). When the exam results came, and I realised I passed them all, I must have felt relieved. But in my memory, I didn't and don't feel anything at all concerning my exams. And that's where it stops. I don't even know where it starts again.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲

It quite literally feels like I woke up with no memories of the first days of the diet: I can recall what I ate, but not what I did or felt.

On the first day, I drank a strawberry oat smoothie for breakfast. It was my first self-made smoothie which was convincingly delicious compared to the bought smoothies I used to have. That same day, I stopped eating snacks: unknowingly, I restricted them and wouldn't allow them for the months after.

That paragraph is all I remember from the first day, and if I were to write one about every day of that week, it would be less each day. Maybe those days just weren't memory-worthy enough as I don't want to search for a reason behind every single thing.

For approximately twenty-eight days after the first one, I have no recollections. The only way I can reflect on those days is by checking my calorie intake and physical activity. Though, it doesn't feel like I was the one who tracked it.

The first proper recollection I have is of a day I ate 180 calories for the first time: a number I can only wonder about now. Though it was my first time having such a low intake, it wasn't the last or lowest. The number 180 seemed to attract me as in the days that followed, 180 would be the maximum amount of calories I'd consume. Back then, I had no idea what TDEE or BMR (of any of the other terms) were, so I can't tell you what my deficit was. But I would burn around 1200 calories a day by exercising, and that should be enough to raise red flags.

From that point on, even though I was probably slowly killing myself, I felt alive. A growing obsession with food, weight loss and exercise was fueling my mind. While my body was left behind, trying to catch up with the pace. If I didn't lose more than 1 gram overnight, I'd starve myself the next day. If I felt too lazy to exercise, I'd punish myself for being lazy by doing more. My weight dropped a lot, up to the point where the scale sometimes seemed to skip numbers.

Then a parent swap came: I would be staying with my dad for two weeks. In advance, I had already figured out everything I thought I needed to know: how I would skip meals without him finding out, at what times I could exercise without him knowing, where I could throw away the food he thought I would eat. The day I packed my bag and left for his house, my plans turned into action.

The two weeks there went as smooth as I planned them to go. Even with bonuses: he worked up to three days a week and did not question it when I didn't eat. In those two weeks, I would replace kpop videos with programs I used to despise: supersize versus superskinny and mukbangs. The videos would satisfy my hunger in some way, even though they caused me to start nailbiting. I wouldn't eat: I would only watch as others fed themselves.

Since I lost the initial subject I wanted to discuss in this chapter (I'm so sorry), I shall be moving on to the next chapter.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑: 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨? 𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭?

It was at this point that people were starting to notice things that I hadn't. Sometimes those things were appearance-related and, other times it was personality-related or even habit-related.

It started with a compliment from my aunt, and I felt like I was glowing when she mentioned my visible jawline and thin face. Maybe I was slightly disappointed that she noticed the facial changes before my body but, at the same time, she noticed a difference!

After her, people started commenting on my body, and I worked more to achieve those comments. I saw them as comments rather than compliments: I didn't tire myself out starting from 5:20 am every day just to receive a meaningless compliment. I wanted people to take notice.

And, they did. People that directly surrounded me were starting to notice things that I failed to see. Mostly stuff that changed about my personality while my body was changing. My mother told me that I became the opposite of easy-going and friendly when others were around. My sister told me that my facial expressions had gone even further than my usual resting bitch face. My nephew said that all I would do was try to end up in arguments with others and that he didn't like being around me anymore. It hurt to have all of those things said, but at the same time, I was too in denial to care. The only thing I cared about was food, exercise and losing weight.

On rare occasions, I became aware of the person I became. Mostly when others would try to reach me by calling or coming over but I was too busy to talk to them, and if I did, I would talk about food-related things only. So, I shut everyone out.

I no longer talked to my friends daily, wouldn't reply to my parents sending me messages, didn't go on social media unless it was to look at food or triggering images.

The world consisted of me and was ruled by my obsession.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞

There is an unknown amount of time that settles itself between the previous chapter and this chapter. During this time, I once again feel like I'm just a supporting character: my habits develop and my obsession rules over everything I do.

Many of the things I did (which already wasn't a lot, to begin with), were based on stuff I said already. Though even more refined and obsessive.

When I closed my eyes, sleep would take me to dreams about food and weight loss. Approximately three times a night, I would open my eyes, assume it was morning and get ready for another day of exhaustion and starvation. Those nightly hours are still engraved in my mind and current habits: 12:00 am, 3:20 am, 5:28 am.

It is in this chapter that a slow awareness creeps up on me. The side effects are what wakens me when everything else consumes me: constant thoughts about food, the inability to sleep, not being able to think or focus, drifting from reality, always feeling cold, tingling headaches, not leaving the house for days unless it's for shopping (because I would look at food I couldn't eat).

"I need to stop," I told myself while I wrote in my journal how much better I would be if I lost some more weight because the scale is tempting me.

I didn't want to stop. I just wanted it to stop.

Though in reality, I had no control to stop myself or it. I had lost control long ago, and to this day, I still have no idea at which chapter I left it behind. Some days I thought of how to stop, but the exit sign was more like a full-stop as it led me to think of killing myself: it would make my family stop commenting on my condition and could give me a sense of freedom even though I would be dead.

It surely wasn't the first time I passed that exit sign in life, but it was the first time I felt determined to pass it by. All I wanted was to be able to sleep peacefully without thinking of food. *Snort*, such high standards.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓: 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬

Unexpectedly, a good dream did cloud over my bedroom. Even though it was simple, it's one of the dreams that I hope to keep in my memory forever. And for laughs, I'll share it.

TO1-member Donggeon was standing near my garage but, my mother's car wasn't in the driveway because she wasn't home. I was standing outside with him while he talked with Wei's Donghan (who was invisible to me). They were having a casual conversation in Korean. Then, he wanted to lean against the car that wasn't in the driveway, causing him to fall on all fours. He laughed at his stupidity and, at the same time, his ears were getting red from embarrassment.

That pretty much sums up the first not-food-related dream I had during my entire journey. And I still remember waking up at 3:20 am, laughing: it was stupid and silly but left such a big impression on me. And that's when I told myself: "I need to recover".

It sounds silly but I still, to this day, think that this dream set me off into recovery mode. Even though I felt like I had no control, I tried to take control: calculated a number of calories that I surely had to eat each day, planned Thursday to be my active rest-day, found less intense workouts to do in the morning, tried to replace the mukbangs in my watch later list by relaxing videos or recovery videos, scheduled to journal every day. Though I told myself I would do those things, it wasn't easy to put my words into action.

Yet, I fucking did it.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔: 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

Not going to lie: I spent all night wondering how I was going to write this and all morning putting it into proper words. Hence, the reason why I'm feeling exhausted: too exhausted to continue writing it even though the blooming period is so close. So instead of giving a lecture on recovery: I will try to give my opinion on recovering and how I'm doing these days.

Each day, I still question whether I'm truly in a recovery of something. I never went to see a professional or verbally admitted to my problems, so I never learned whether I'm recovering from something or just making progress after a downfall. I might be familiar with the use of DSM-4 and DSM-5 but, that doesn't mean I'm qualified to judge on whether I had/have a disorder or not. Yet, I opt to use the terms disordered eating and recovery until I'm sure of what it was that I went through.

Some days it feels like I was faking all of it, but then I realise, how was I faking it while I was going through it and experiencing it? Perhaps some of you reading even think I am faking all of the above, but that's your opinion. I don't need to defend myself for feeling things.

Now, I'll update you on where I'm standing today because I guess I wrote six chapters in order to get to this point. We all know I like to write more than necessary.

⋅ My disordered eating habits and calorie intake: I have made quite some progress (even if I say so myself). Each week, I challenge myself to increase my calorie intake by 100 until I reach my maintenance calories. It isn't as easy as it sounds because by the time I actually dared to increase by ten calories, the week is over, and I have to adjust my goal because I wasn't even able to reach close to where I planned to be. This week my goal is to eat 800 calories a day: a number that unexpectedly is paired with a lot of guilt and fear, so I haven't been able to eat that amount yet. The maximum I've eaten is 641 calories a day. Together with that, I also promised myself to eat one fear food or not-eaten food a week: that way, I hope to stop restricting myself and learn to enjoy them again. Some lasting habits I developed: I fear eating too early and will try to push back eating as late as I can because it gives me the feeling that I can enjoy it for longer but I do have strict hours, I cut everything into mini pieces because it gives me the feeling that I have more to nibble on and more to enjoy, I read every single nutrition label multiple times (in the store and at home) because I fear that it might include too many calories or fat, I don't eat anything that I didn't plan and nothing that I can't track calorie-wise, I eat the same thing for breakfast every day because I feel like it's the only food I can trust. The urge to skip meals or lie about them is getting smaller, but the thought always remains in the back of my mind.

⋅ My weight: I'm at a weight that is still considered healthy according to whoever feels qualified to judge. However, I fear gaining weight every single day, which stops me from eating my weekly allowance. Despite eating more than at the start of this: I still lose weight. The weight loss fuels the bad habits once more, but I try to tell myself that my weight is only to indicate whether I'm close to my maintenance calories or not.

⋅ My body: my body kept most of its side effects inside until I started to recover aside from the ones that I've stated before. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't feel cold despite wearing a shirt only, so that was a win for my body. However, I do have constant headaches, get blackouts often and, I easily feel my energy draining whenever I do a little bit too much (which I didn't always feel when I was actively doing it). That being said, my abilities have definitely decreased: you can read what kind of exercise I do in the next paragraph, but it has decreased a lot because I will feel weak sooner than before.

⋅ Exercise: I am between struggling and not struggling with it. The reason why I started to exercise was to burn more calories than I ate. But back then, I had no knowledge of BMR and whatnot. These days I do a lot less impactful exercise than I did before, but I still exercise each day: I do 96 minutes of stationary cycling a day, go on daily walks and have the obsession to take steps whenever I'm standing still. As you might be able to tell, I feel like I'm on the line of having control here.

⋅ My personality/social life/hobbies: even though I was in denial about my changing personality for a long while, I eventually realised that people were right when they said I changed. The realisation came during recovery, mostly because I noticed how I was in a better mood than when I was at my lowest point. My social life is building up slowly and doesn't always include me having to talk about my weight loss or food, though people always mention it so, I do always end up having to talk about it without wanting to. As for hobbies, I found my interest in kpop and writing again but, it's still at a somewhat moderate level. I still find myself lurking at food-related posts or triggering things, but I can control myself better and watch some positive videos instead. Aside from that, I journal every day: I write down what I ate, my physical activity, what I saw as memorable in my day, and more.

��𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞

That's pretty much all for the life update. I still left out a lot that I failed to remember while writing or felt too tired to write about, and I bet not a lot of you are interested in any of this anyway. I just felt like I owed everyone an explanation of where I've been and why I haven't been reblogging much or writing.

As I've stated a few times before, I don't know yet when I will get back into writing or posting content. And the past months made me realise that it might be good for myself if I take some time away from Tumblr: I won't be able to look for triggering content, won't be able to trigger anyone else on accident and can focus on working towards my goals.

I hate the word hiatus but I think this means that I will be going on semi-hiatus. On good days, I might still come here to talk to my mutuals or reblog some kpop content that I enjoy. But other times, I probably won't respond or interact much as I'm logged out.

For now, my semi-hiatus will continue until mid to end September. This might be shortened or extended depending on my progress and my personal needs.

Have a lovely day, moonflowers! 💌

#ambrosia's life #was this the tag i used to use for stuff like this?

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full-course-identity · 4 years

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Give me your thoughts on uuuh Jake

wew boy

okay. gonna word dump this, and probably other interpretation asks, so I can get the words out there.

from my POV, there’s 3 types of canon Jake + 1 fanon vers + my personal interpretation. lemme explain what they are;

Book Jake, who I don’t have enough experience with bc I STILL haven’t finished the book… >_>;

2River Jake, who is kinda oblivious and very in-the-moment impulsive (not so bad he’s jumping place to place ADHD like Rich, but like, not considering that maybe dropping everything to seduce Madeline or Christine is a bad idea when he clearly really likes Chloe). these are debatably survival mechanisms bc of his family (and wealth, if you want to go into the “being rich actually traumatizes you and locks you into dissociation” theory–but to be fair, this is partially reliant on thinking Jake is Genuinely Rich. … well, not Rich as in… yeah); ignoring any pain he feels in favor of getting dicked down and forgetting about everything for a while. very “I’m not sad, I’m busy!!!!!”

Bway (possibly the new canon general for all Jakes since it sounds like London’s is modeled after him but just… toned down), who is still oblivious, but towards other people’s emotions instead of himself; he’s manipulative, a little impulsive but a lot more malicious about it, and he knows exactly how hurt he is about his parents. this jake’s awareness of himself makes him act worse because he knows this is the only thing that seems to help and it’s basically the only thing he actually has control of. his wealthiness is undeniably present and Bad here because the reason taking what he wants and not caring that it hurts people is his main coping skill is pretty much only because he’s been allowed that privilege all his life. i tend to think this version of him should be done by a white cishet dude (despite jake’s actor on bway being genuinely FANTASTIC) bc being marginalized in a high school should’ve curved a lot of the “endless power and privilege” he gets for being rich (Not That One).

[i… think this jake has ‘better’/more nuanced writing in BWay… but i don’t think it fits the musical nor is it the overall direction i think it should’ve gone. BMC feels best to me when there’s a heavier element of Dark Humor that briefly nods to a Larger and more Fucked Up world behind the bit we see in the musical. making it largely a twisted comedy, maybe even ramping that up further with more whiplash lines like jake’s “which means the house is empty, so that’s fun”]

Fanon Jake is… like most of the fanon characters in BMC, a bit… “bipolar” (like, radically shifting depending on the situation). the BMC fandom has been born with heavy engagement from minors in the current fascist climate of fandom as a whole. as a result, you have three general uses of jake that as “approved of” by somehow the exact same people despite being conflicting in a lot of ways. THIS IS NOT ME SHITTING ON FANON, i actually think most of this fandom is just a casual romp for most people and that shouldn’t be snatched away from them nor mocked nor treated like you HAVE to be logically consistent when this is just a fun hobby for most… but there are still trends i notice:

1: Jake the sweet bi disaster who loves their significant other and is just a little bit hopeless in their silliness and Down For Whatever-esque personality. this is often used for shippy pictures and memes and cute little oneshots, plus, of course, fluff.

2: Jake the tragic abuse victim who is extremely sad and has to learn to love again and has always been selfless, plus or minus a permanent disability post-fire. this is of course used for hurt/comfort, plus in combination kinda with michael in the bathroom-esque posts and tragic art, often also used as an example of the squip being the worst for jeremy or rich guilt trauma. also: aesthetic and moodboard posts.

3: the one I have the least good will towards: Jake the “why does everybody woobify mlm? You can’t portray him without flaws! queer boys aren’t your fetish!!!” with an attached, clunkily written reasons why he was an asshole that is also simultaneously watered down so you don’t think he’s a Monster bc then you’d be vilifying queer men (well, more like they’d feel bad about their cutesy-er ‘emotional support’ art and writing which is Totally Different from all the other cutesy emotional support art and writing).

basically, Meta Trying To Make Jake Reasonably Flawed But Not Evil in this fandom is RARELY genuine–it’s more often than not moralistic hand-wringing made so that they can wash themselves of the guilt for actually enjoying something with a character they portray as mlm, or otherwise the guilt of enjoying anything romantic or sexual involving men or queer people period when we’re apparently not supposed to do that anymore, as decreed by the radfems infesting our spaces.

and, well, or you’re an mlm writing this post, you’re probably young and still feeling extremely sensitive and scared about your identity. i once saw a very wise post by a trans person who had been trans for a long time, who said that when you first come out as trans (or queer in general, but especially trans people who are beginning social or physical transition and coming to terms with themselves) you are obvs on High Fucking Alert and so you’re insecure and scared of anything, ranging from “obvious transphobia” to “just trans people enjoying themselves and exploring transphobia in fiction or else their own sexuality”. again, this can relate to a lot of identities tbh, and as such young mlm either cis or trans can get very Itchy about people enjoying mlm content.

anyway.

wrapping it back around to me: i edit jake on a case by case basis (sometimes i even make him eviler or meaner based on what’s set up during Bway, he’s just not my usual go-to villain), but i tend to think of him as a tragic Mr. Peanutbutter-y sweetheart who kinda knows he feels like shit yet also knows that if he stops to assess it, it would make his life a lot harder in a time where he can’t afford that. his relationship with chloe is extremely toxic (chloe abuses him horribly, specifically), and so he tries to claw his way out of it only to be continually back in by chloe and her bullshit.

this is why he doesn’t really get... well. he genuinely thought the thing with christine was going to be permanent; he wasn’t jerking her around, he thought he was over chloe and wanted a girl as cool and fun and genuinely nice as her. afterward he Gets It, and so feels Really Bad--at a time where he doesn’t have his house, his legs are broken (i don’t tend to put him in a perma-wheelchair), his parents have abandoned him, and he best friend is in the hospital. guilt crashes in on him from all sides, and he just has to... pretend it isn’t, even as he can no longer stop himself from thinking about it.

if i was to do a jake focused story, it’d probably be a dating sim where you play as him and watch his life change in conjunction with his attempts to find happiness again; you can either choose decisions that help him greatly or ruin his life so ver much... hmm. lets file that under hashtag “story ideas i’ll never use even though they could be great”

to wrap this up: i like jake. i don’t... really enjoy most of the written content (fanfic, meta, sometimes even the storylines on ask blogs) in this fandom about him or... really, most of the characters, which i feel bad about--i’d enjoy it more if it was every in conjunction with my usual Wants in a fic, which is, like. extreme angst.

BUT

i do still like jake, and i can super enjoy his portrayal in memes and visual art

he’s just not my total fave, but like, the reason he tends not to come up a lot in my content is more what i’m focusing on and why. i’d be happy to use him in stories if his presence fit.

as a bonus

here’s the ships i’m happy to use him for, generally: deere, michael/jake, brooke/jake, toxic chloe/jake, and of course, different ocs/jake

his identities/labels: cis, bisexual/romantic... tho sometimes i actually go for bisexual and aromantic! outside bway and eviler jakes, i’m good with him being any race, and even then it’s just a matter of suspending disbelief re: privilege theory. also, PTSD probably, and maybe generalized anxiety as a result. maaaaaybe autistic too? adhd would be a hard sell for me since he seems super put together in a way that’d be extremely difficult for every form of adhd, but i can see him being neurodivergent on the spectrum + like dyslexia maybe. oh, and i sorta-kinda think he may be color blind? but really i’d drop that at a moment’s notice if it’d be easier to write him without it lol.

his interests: one is more or less sports in general, tho i think that, unless he went straight for track or swimming or something Olympics (which he probably can’t do now...), that’s a high school or some college only focus for him. so, besides sports, i think he’d kinda like the satisfaction and steady growth of Collecting Rare Things That You Have To Look For, like cool rocks, bugs, etc.

as for careers... some form of doctor something, maybe a businessman of some sort but he’d likely try to curve his power in that field as much as possible; he inherits his parents' assets and company or whatever, but he probably takes a backseat to that and only really has it out of a sense of ‘it’s my job as my parent’s kid to keep the company going--without engaging in the same awful legal issues they did--for as long as i can’. one of my fave jake-is-there stories, vanceypant’s spicy bis-focused fic 1999, has him owning a restaurant, and that was cool as hell.

also jake loves dogs. especially golden retrievers. yes.

#be more chill #bmc #jake dillinger #kadabralin #bmc meta #meta #character interpretations #wow this... is long #holy shit sorry about that

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eggoreviews · 5 years

Text

Persona 5 Palaces RANKED

After recently finishing up Persona 5, I'm sort of aching a bit for more content but not quite enough to splash on Dancing in Starlight. So, to sate my cravings for more of the phantom bois, here's my personal ranking of the main palaces you traverse through in the game. This list is based on how fun and consistently interesting each palace is in terms of gameplay, puzzles, soundtrack, character, aesthetic and overall relevance to the story. Hope u enjoy/agree! Kinda goes without saying, but MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD for the whole ass game

8. Okumura’s Spaceport of Greed

Who saw this coming? Probably everyone! Because Okumura's palace is pretty much consistently ranked at the bottom of every ranking I've seen. But before I go all negative, let's start with what I actually liked. First off, I ADORED the spaceport motif and the whole theme/aesthetic of this palace was amazing. Alongside that, the music, while probably not the strongest in the game, was still mega catchy and fit the palace perfectly (it's still a banger, even if it isn't Whims of Fate level banger). So yeah, this palace's rock bottom ranking is nothing to do with its look or its soundtrack, because they're both pretty tasty. It was everything else I had a slight problem with. Now this isn't to say I disliked this palace, I just felt that it was the weakest part of an absolutely stellar game. While the majority of the puzzles weren't terrible, the infamous airlock puzzle definitely got in my bad books, as I'm pretty firmly in the 'this puzzle is weird luck-based bollocks' camp on this one, with it being the only puzzle in the game I had to look up the solution for. The constant back-and-forthing to different points of the palace to pick up keycards from the stupid robots became unfortunately very repetitive, especially with Morgana constantly screaming at me that the treasure was real close but (spoiler alert) it totally wasn't. And to top all that off, I felt this palace brought with it the weakest characters arcs in the whole game. I really struggled to become attached to Haru, the last true member of the thieves. While she was an okay character and I sympathised with her plight of being sold off to that one arsehole, I felt she wasn't written to be particularly interesting and her introduction to the thieves felt really shoehorned in compared to the natural-feeling transitions of all the other characters. She didn't quite feel as if she belonged there as much as the others (big sorry to all the Haru stans). And echoing this, the character of Okumura himself also felt incredibly bland and he was without a doubt the least interesting villain of the bunch. Oh, and his boss fight? Objectively the worst in the game. You fight the same robots you've been fighting the whole palace, with a timer, and then you kill him in one hit. Yeah, so the tea is, palace looks and sounds great, but that's really it.

7. Mementos Depths / Prison of Sloth

From this point on, I had very few problems with any of the palaces. As the final dungeon of the game, I felt that this one had definitely had adequate build-up but, as many others seem to say, didn't quite live up to the other palaces. For one, the design and soundtrack was much less interesting (though I guess this can be forgiven, as it's Mementos) and it was over pretty quickly in the end. But I really did enjoy those pressure plate puzzles for some reason and it was pretty cool to go around the velvet room and save all your pals before the final fight, so I just kind of liked this one. Not much to say here other than that it was really good, but the others were better.

6. Kaneshiro’s Bank of Gluttony

While it was fairly difficult to rank Kaneshiro's palace this low, considering it has the awakening of my favourite character, thinking about the palace as a whole compared to the others is what did it. The bank motif? Really cool! Seems inevitable for what is fundamentally a heist game and pulls it off really well. And that soundtrack is easily one of the best tracks in the game. The palace itself is split vaguely into two main sections, the main bank and the vault. The bank section is mostly pretty fun and well-paced, but the palace starts to get just a little bit iffy when the vault section kicks off. The idea is cool, but most of the second half of the palace feels a bit like padding, which becomes a little repetitive overtime. These really are minor gripes though, I gotta stress that, because I genuinely enjoyed this palace for the most part. Something else I enjoyed was Kaneshiro himself and his role in the story. Out of all the palace owners in the game, Kaneshiro felt the most like a true archetypal Bond villain and it does feel awesome to take him on as the phantom thieves are finally starting to get their feet off the ground. On top of that, you've got Makoto joining the team, which makes this one a real treat character-wise. In conclusion, I want Makoto to step on me.

5. Madarame’s Museum of Vanity

This one really did have a tough act to follow. Being the second palace you take on (as well as the awakening of my ,,,, second favourite character), I remember how impressed I was the first time around with how cool the visuals are in this palace. The soundtrack to the palace is generally fairly unremarkable, but very calming and surreal which definitely fit the setting. This palace definitely feels the most trippy out of the bunch, placing you in odd gold-plated mazes and endless corridors plastered with distorted paintings and tripwires to constantly make sure you're paying attention. This palace really does feel like you’ve been placed inside the mind of a deluded artist, even if the game’s attempts to make Madarame seem despicable only really serve to highlight how awful the previous palace owner, Kamoshida, is in comparison. This isn’t to say Madarame isn’t a trashbag, it just becomes obvious that the game is trying hard to make you hate him. That aside, Madarame’s palace provides a welcome challenge and effectively build upon what you learned in the first palace without overwhelming the player, all the while not compromising on the creative, stunning visuals. The ending pay-off with Madarame’s showdown, while a satisfying conclusion to Yusuke’s main character arc, provides a boss fight that is over a little too quickly, though that’s kind of just nitpicking at that point. All in all, a solid dungeon from start to finish.

4. Futaba’s Tomb of Wrath

Without a doubt the most emotionally charged palace in the game, this dungeon is a unique experience unlike anything else you’ll find in the game. Instead of taking down a despicable villain or giving a certain prosecutor a push in the right direction, you’re instead helping to heal the heart of a traumatised girl, who requested herself for her heart to be stolen. You’re reaching the halfway point during this palace, so it’s a brilliant change of pace from the dickholes you’ve been stealing the hearts of up to this point. The game truly makes you feel genuine sympathy for Futaba and seeing her recovery slowly but steadily take place over the game really tugs on the heartstrings. As for the palace itself, the game takes its love of ambiguous metaphors and cranks up the dial, giving the player an interesting but oddly melancholy setting in the form of an Egyptian pyramid. The background music for this palace is perfect to help accentuate this, as the soundtrack works with the visuals to make you just feel a bit sad. The puzzles are well thought out and never overstay their welcome, the layout of the palace is consistently unique and fun to traverse and the ending boss is one of the most creative, high-stakes battles in Persona 5. And while Futaba’s awakening wasn’t my favourite, it’s great to see her finally face her demons and accept that her mother’s death wasn’t her fault. But most of all, this palace reminds you that you should never get too comfortable when playing Persona 5, as the tables could turn at any minute and suddenly make you care about the person you’re changing the heart of.

3. Kamoshida’s Castle of Lust

Kamoshida is arguably the biggest scumbag you take on in Persona 5, so it makes a lot of sense that his palace is one of the most satisfying to undertake. The castle acts as the perfect starting dungeon, teaching you the ropes without too much hand-holding and providing you with simple but visually interesting palace to boot. Before the game drags you into its grandiose main plot, you start with a much smaller scale, but equally despicable villain that you immediately know you have to deal with. And on top of that, each character introduction is seamless and fits perfectly in with the narrative. The puzzles here are simple enough to be basically harmless and each area of the castle you navigate changes things up to keep it unique while teaching you the inner workings of the palaces you’ll be taking down for the rest of the game. As for the first boss, the build-up feels perfect as the tension amps up and reaches boiling point as you send your first calling card. Oh, and Kamoshida’s boss design himself as this horrifying, weird lust demon definitely sets you up for what’s ahead. Great as a beginning act, but also a heckin solid dungeon in its own right. Plus, I’m a sucker for castles, so I might be a little biased here.

2. Niijima’s Casino of Jealousy

I’ll be honest with you, I think a casino is one of the most awesome ideas for a dungeon I’ve ever heard of in a JRPG. And everything about this one is near enough perfect. The reveal that you’ll be targeting the person who’s been interrogating you for the whole game, the link back to the very starting cutscene, the tension mounting as you desperately try to work out who the traitor is, Makoto’s emotional turmoil as she wrestles with the ethics of targeting her own sister. Story-wise, this is totally perfect. And the dungeon itself? Definitely the most consistently unique in the whole game. Each floor you traverse in the casino offers something new and interesting for you to work around, from the rigged dice games to the dark labyrinth and the battle arena trial (not to mention the whole ‘collect enough coins to proceed’ thing reminded me way too much of Sonic Adventure and for some reason, I’m putting that down as a good thing). Whims of Fate is a perfect soundtrack, because it totally fits the atmosphere and also it’s a bop and I love it to pieces. And the palace wraps itself up neatly in a little bow with a boss fight that totally kicks arse. Sae Niijima starts the battle by, of course, rigging the game against you. But once her cheating facade falls away, the true battle begins and she morphs into a weird, distorted mech thing that takes heavy inspiration from Makoto’s persona too. Basically, it’s cool. And I love it.

1. Shido’s Cruiser of Pride

This is likely to be a controversial choice for the best palace in the game, as it’s generally agreed among most fans that Shido’s palace was a bit slightly rubbish. But really, I couldn’t disagree more. Yes, Sae’s palace was the definition of awesome, but something about Shido’s just one-upped it somehow. Of course, your character’s personal connection with this mission that was absent from the other previous palaces gives this one a much more dramatic feel, as you finally get to take on the guy orchestrating everyone’s suffering (if you don’t count good ol’ Optimus Prime from the final palace) and it’s as satisfying as it needs to be. The soundtrack is suitably epic and lends itself well as a precursor to the finale and exploring the cruiser is both intriguing and enjoyable throughout, as you navigate each section of this bloated paradise filled with rich arseholes. But at the same time, the whole Noah’s Ark thing with Shido only saving those willing to submit to him makes this palace as chilling as it is visually stunning. For me, this was a brilliant dungeon beginning to end, as collecting ‘letters of recommendation’ from each of Shido’s cognitive allies allows for a deeper insight into Shido as a character, but also builds you up nicely to the palace’s climax. Plenty of nice character moments and the boss fight, while not the best in the game, was still a strong point. Oh and yeah, I actually really liked the rat puzzles. The puzzles everyone seems to hate? Thought they provided a nice amount of challenge and never really felt like they were dragging on for hugely long. But what really peaked this palace on top of all the others was the encounter with Mr. Pancakes towards the end. Akechi was a brilliantly crafted character throughout his stint in the game and his arc had a fitting conclusion before you finally take on Shido. I was mega happy with this palace and honestly, it was the one cemented this game as one of my big faves.

Got a palace ranking of your own? Or even just one that stood out as your personal favourite? Let me know down below!

#persona 5 #p5 #persona #shin megami tensei #ps4 #ren amamiya #gaming #games #akira kusuru #ryuji sakamoto #ann takamaki #persona 5 yusuke #makoto niijima #morgana #futaba #haru okumura

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cosykaleb-blog · 5 years

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Muse page

“Hasbeen boy genius”

NAME: Kaleb (Kyle) Mordechai Broflovski AGE: 17 OCCUPATION: Junior Year of high school SEXUALITY: Bi sexual (But in major denial about it) GENDER: He/him MENTAL DISORDERS: Suspects he might be on the autism spectrum, but was never tested. RELIGION: Agnostic (Open to learn, but has a hard time believing what he was taught about his faith)

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

Logical

Book worm

Lacks empathy, but is sympathetic (or tries to be)

Organized

Hard worker academically

Lazy in just about everything else

Egotistic

Loose sweaters and baggy pants are life

HISTORY:

Kyle’s life have been seemingly uneventful other than what ever shenanigans and he his friends tend to get up to. He’s always been the smart kid of the house and always took that title for granted until Ike started to shine academically more and Kyle started finding himself fighting for his father’s approval. Gerald has always been inclined that his children do as best as possible in everything they do otherwise he sees no point in doing anything. Kyle never agrees with his father’s opinions on things because he sees it as biased and because of this there has been a lot of fights at the Broflovski dinner table which always ends with Gerald throwing the “I am your father you need to respect me” card and Kyle storming off to his room. His mother always take the liberty to bring up an extra plate of food and to talk to him trying very hard to keep the peace in the family. Kyle also conflicts with his parents when it comes to his sense of religion. He hardly considers himself an atheist, but he doesn’t really believe in most of what he was told about his faith and this causes fights mostly between him and his dad. Sheila isn’t very happy about it either, but she knows better than to fight with Kyle about something like religion and figured he’s an adult he can start believing what he wants to even if it upsets her. Kyle works very hard to make sure he’s top of his class because his dad wants him to get in to a career he sees fit enough like medicine even though Kyle has more of an interest in cooking. Though he struggles to keep his title as he started becoming second in his class and this causes even more conflict between him and his father. Because of his somewhat unstable relationship with his dad Kyle often feels anxious and uncomfortable whenever he’s home, so he spends most of his time at his friends houses. Kyle has a need to break away and do what he wants and to live his own life, but he’s too dependent on his parents and he values his mother too much to just run away, so he’s stuck. Because of the academic pressure he built a disdain for school and would skip classes and smoke in the school alley with the Goth kids if it weren’t for his conscious and the looming fear of how his father would react if he found him rebelling to that extreme. He’s always had a feeling that he might not be entirely heterosexual, but he pushes away any shred of doubt and tendencies in fear of how his father would react and managed to convince himself to live in denial of his identity

APPEARANCE:

Curly red hair that takes a lot of maintenance to stop it from taking over the world. In the beginning he would spend about an hour every morning to make sure it looked tidy and in place, but as he got older he decided “fuck it” and now let’s his hair do whatever it wants. It’s its own person it has the freedom to peruse it’s own path. He has freckles on most parts of his body though its more obvious on his face and shoulders. When he was little it wasn’t as clear, but the older he got the more prominent it became. He has no piercings at the moment. He used to have a septum piercing that he tried hiding from his parents by pushing it inside of his nose, but one day he was careless and forgot and his mother nearly fainted. He’s probably going to attempt to get another once he’s moved out and it’ll be easier to hide. He thought about getting a tattoo one day, but he’s squirmish about the thought of the needle. Fashion wise he’s got a fairly good sense of how to look somewhat decent with buttoned up shirts and nice shoes, but generally he lives in beanies and baggy pants with interesting patterns on them. He prefers the whole “poor college art/film student who lives off of noodles and weed and probably listens to red hot chili peppers” look because its easy. It’s only a coincidence that he just so happen to be a RHCP fan. He dreams about walking barefoot all the time if only it wasn’t so cold as well as his germ phobia. He is a very tall boy about 6'6 . He also has rather big hands that are always perfectly moisturized. He inherited his mother’s green eyes. Because of his diabetes he’s very careful about what he eats and sugar content in food, but his mom makes sure he’s well fed most of the time and also because he loves his mom’s cooking he has a pudgy belly. He shaves from time to time, but occasionally he’ll deal with walking around with a scruff stubble when the work load gets too much or he’s just too lazy to shave.

PERSONALITY:

Kyle comes off as like a really complicated person, but in reality he’s really simple when you get to know him. He thinks with logic and not emotion and sometimes that gets in his away with his ability to comfort his friends. That doesn’t mean he can’t be sympathetic, though he struggles with empathy. He’s a book worm and loves learning about things as much as he can and because of this people tend to label him as a nerd, he doesn’t really care all that much though cause labels are dumb. A lot of people get the impression, because of this label and his need for logical thinking, that he tends to be high strung and kind of anal when in reality he’s a massive dork that still laughs at farts. He’s not professionally diagnosed, but he’s always had a feeling he might be on the Autism spectrum and have been considering getting himself tested, but with his father there is a prejudice about learning disabilities and disorders, so he decided to just not bring it up to his parents to avoid drama and just find ways to deal with it himself. He’s very clean due to his light germ phobia so he avoids touching public things when he can and always carry around a bottle of hand sanitizer and seaweed scented hand cream. He also practices self care pretty much everyday and uses body butter and scrubs which means he’s extra soft and always smell amazing. (General scents he goes by is honey, peppermint or basil, but he’ll use anything if it tickles his fancy enough) Because of his logical thinking he’s always curious about testing out things for trial and error before he forms his own opinions so this means he’s open to experimenting with the occasional cigarette and joint just to see if he would actually enjoy it, though it’s not exactly something he would see himself indulging in. He has his limits though he’d never think about trying stuff like hard drugs cause he’s smart enough to know what a major effect it has on your life. Generally he finds stuff like drinking and partying rather trivial, but he will participate when his friends are doing it just to have some fun. It could be written off as peer pressure that he tends to fall for from time to time. With his parents being so academically strict and conservative because of their religious morals he does have a need to rebel, though he hardly ever acts out on it cause he’s not in the mood for whatever repercussions it has in store afterwards though that doesn’t stop him from doing what he wants, its just a matter of how well can he get away with it which can also be a problem considering he’s not a very good liar and his conscious gets the best of him. He loves like a man scorned. He’ll be friendly with you and treat you like an acquaintance in the beginning, but if you manage to work yourself in to an important role in his life he would become a lot more emotionally invested in you and can get kind of clingy. He’s not a very cuddly person either, but if you’re family or a very good friend he’ll hug you. Just don’t touch his hair that’s reserved for extra special people and his mom.

Extra info:

Major soft spot for small dogs like Pugs, Corgis and Boston Terriers

Dog person and would love to own one, but Ike is incredibly allergic to animal dandruff.

His aesthetic consists out of rainy days, the smell of coffee and a giant wool blanket.

His nails are like a pretty big deal, Always clean and trimmed.

When he’s not reading he’s on youtube looking up “10 best scenes from the movie ‘Mean Girls’”

His height makes him look very intimidating, but in reality he’s kind of a teddy bear. Just don’t piss him off if you know what’s good for you.

Has reading glasses, but never actually wears them

Proud collector of interesting socks

Favourite friend’s character is Rachael

Character peeve’s:

When people don’t put the lid back on to the toothpaste

People who pee with the bathroom door open

When his family barges in to his room and don’t close the door behind them when they leave

Cartman

#muse

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margoslxix · 7 years

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Why Everyone Should Join the New Albion Fandom

Alright, so I know some of my followers already know about New Albion. I’ve definitely been posting about it a lot lately. But not only is it a great work, but so far, the fandom is shaping up to be something absolutely special and unique, something worth keeping an eye on for those of us interested in fandom history and culture. It’s still a small fandom, but it seems to be growing fairly quickly, and I think this is as good of a time as any to make a post like this.

What is New Albion?

Good question! The short answer is, it’s a series of operas. Specifically, retro-futuristic science fiction operas. That sounds niche as hell, because it is. But the music is incredible, and the stories are extremely well-written. There’s also a good deal of LGBT representation, which is always a plus.

You can find the entire series here. As you can see, that looks extremely intimidating, but here’s a simple guide to getting into the series:

You should start with Dolls of New Albion. It’s the first in the main trilogy, and the most well-known. You can find a few actual performances on Youtube, which is a nice bonus. If you’re extremely into jazz, you can also safely start with The New Albion Radio Hour, but I don’t think it’s quite as satisfying without having Dolls as a basis. Dolls of New Albion is an epic, with each act following a different cast of characters in the same family line, and how all of their actions cause the downfall of a great city. The aesthetic is Steampunk, probably accounting for the popularity of this one in particular.

The New Albion Radio Hour is the direct sequel. It’s a much more compact, action-oriented piece. It’s Dieselpunk, so prepare for a lot of noire goodness. It follows a single family on a single night, and while the plot is completely separate from Dolls, it definitely does build on the lore.

Finishing out the trilogy is The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness, a wild Atompunk ride. It’s a bit less linear than its predecessors, with Act 2 being a massive flashback that helps to explain the plot. It has a reputation of being the hardest of the three to follow plot-wise, so you definitely don’t want to start with this one, although it’s also very, very good. It also ties the plots and characters of the other two together in an extremely unexpected and interesting way, so it’s absolutely a great “end” to an amazing trilogy.

Once you’ve finished the main trilogy, your next destination should be The Room Beneath New Albion. It was written as a sort of love letter to the fans, and an epilogue for the series. Taking place during the third act of Dolls, it delivers on a plot point left hanging at the end of the trilogy.

All of this takes less than 6 hours, so this is not a fandom that will take you hours and hours to get caught up. If you were a latecomer to anything like Homestuck or The Adventure Zone, New Albion is incredibly accessible.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

You may have noticed that there are more than four albums on the Bandcamp page. Don’t worry. Just because the main trilogy is over doesn’t mean that New Albion is finished. Now is actually an excellent time to get into the fandom, as we’re all waiting at the edge of our seats for the third act of The Ballad of Lost Hollow.

The Ballad of Lost Hollow is a 3-act opera being released one act at a time, and Act 2 (”Uncle Raven’s Super Happy Funtime Carnival”) was released very recently. While it was a massive plot twist at the time, it is no longer a secret that this opera, while seemingly unrelated to New Albion, is actually the fourth full installment in the series, and seems to be heading in a Cyberpunk direction. Still, it’s taken a lot of detours through Weird West and a Carnival aesthetic, so it’s got a little something for everyone.

In addition, if you want to hear more, most of the albums on the composer’s Bandcamp do take place in the same universe! If you want to get additional lore, feel free to give a listen to nearly everything. Fairy Tales for the Lost and Wandering in particular actually includes a track called “New Albion 7,” an important side-story linking Radio Hour to Analogue Consciousness. If you liked that, there’s also Fairy Tales for Homeless Fairies, another album of fairy tales, but one with a more connected plot.

For more background on Uncle Raven, formally introduced to the New Albion series in Act 2 of Lost Hollow and quickly becoming the most popular character in the series, check out The Fallen and Shadows and Flames, both of which feature him pretty heavily. (He’s actually a very old OC of the creator, so there is official lore for him dating back to the 90s.)

If you want something a little different (and not necessarily canon), check out The Slenderman Musical or Cthulhu The Funksical, both incredibly weird and unique takes on pre-existing stories.

And if you’ve listened to everything and you’re still hungry for more New Albion, the composer’s blog contains a bunch of short fiction and character backgrounds for the series, providing additional context and lore notes.

How is this Fandom Unique?

This one’s kind of a long story.

You see, we have this Discord server (which I can give you a link to, if you’re interested). A lot of fandoms do. It was started by @sludge-bot, and I don’t think he expected it to get as big as it did.

Well, sure enough, it sort of exploded. Meanwhile, cryptic messages on Paul Shapera’s blog seemed to suggest that he was a member of the Discord himself, lurking and incognito. He promised that he would reveal himself in a Q&A session over voice chat.

And he did. Sonmi451, a person who had been a member of the server for a long time, turned out to be Paul Shapera himself. Turns out, he’s not just an amazing composer, he’s also a really cool dude. The Q&A went wonderfully, but we were all a little unsure of how things would go after that.

And here’s where things start to get wild:

Paul stayed.

We continued to behave as a normal fandom, producing fics and art and headcanons. We’re pretty active for a small fandom, partially because we’re a tight-knit community. We’re always welcoming of new members, but for the time being, this is a fandom where just about everyone knows everyone else.

Except that the content creator, The Guy Who Controls the Canon, is among us.

He frequently shows up to randomly declare people’s headcanons canon, or comment on our art and fics. The atmosphere is casual and friendly, and he frequently jokes about our shenanigans.

He’s also written the Discord server into the official lore, as an organization of mad historians and scholars (the New Albion Discordian Society, or NADS). In addition, he has named several characters after members of the group, and said that he will continue to do so.

The official support from the composer has made the New Albion Fandom Discord into more-or-less an “Official, Authorized Fan Club.” We also may or may not have our hands on some exclusive content, some of which may or may not be total game-changers for the lore.

Anyway, Paul Shapera is a really cool dude, and his engagement with his loving fandom has created a totally unique atmosphere with regards to how things like headcanons work, as well as answering questions and expanding our understanding of the lore.

That was long. Why should we join the New Albion fandom?

To summarize: Do you like amazing music? Do you like great stories? Listen to the New Albion series. It’s shorter to get into than a lot of other popular Tumblr fandoms, but it also gives you more depending on how deep down the rabbit hole you want to go. For this reason, it’s a totally customization fandom experience. Join the Discord server, and you’ll make a ton of cool friends, and have an already-established community to geek out about the series with.

I could see this potentially blooming into a large fandom, and I’m not entirely sure how that will change the current culture and dynamic. But honestly? It’s exciting, and I’m willing to find out. (Plus, Paul deserves a lot of love and attention, because his music is AMAZING.)

#new albion #fandom #long post #seriously its really really good you guys #its one of those things that i lowkey want everyone to know about it

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picturesinlove · 6 years

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THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT: a *super* unoriginal ‘best films of 2017′ list

In life, we’re constantly asked what we learnt from things. It’s one way of measuring a completely immeasurable experience. Most films are built on this- ’character arcs’- how do they change and grow? What do they learn? (That’s not a negative thing, just the mechanics of this stick out when it’s done badly). With that in mind, I asked myself, from everything I watched this year, what did I learn?

THE BEST 12 ‘FILMS’ of 2017:

The first thing I learnt- films and TV series have become indistinguishable. It didn’t happen solely this year, but 2017 is definitely the ‘flag in the road’ point. Films are increasingly designed so they can be watched on a small screen with headphones, and most TV should really be watched on a big screen with proper speakers. And TV is sort of the wrong word. Netflix isn’t TV. I don’t know what it is. Just Long Form Storytelling perhaps? It’s certainly becoming less and less episodic. More and more feel like 10 hour films split into 10 parts so you can digest it better. So, this list is really the best 12 *things* of 2017.

The second thing I learnt- how you watch something is almost as important as what you’re watching. What headspace you were in, what time of day it was, if the room was totally dark, if someone a few rows in front of you was talking through the movie, if you’d seen the previous instalments in the series, hell- even if you’d seen the trailer. It all adds to how you think about the film. So, on the list, I’ve included where I saw it.

12. THE DISASTER ARTIST (directed by James Franco)

True story about the making of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, the best worst film ever made.

I cried like I haven’t cried in years watching this. I don’t know what it was. Just something about the last act hit me so hard I couldn’t contain myself. And when you’re trying to contain yourself BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SAD FILM AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE CRYING EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU IS LAUGHING PLEASE STOP CRYING it’s really hard to stop. It’s a story of ambition, heart and following your dreams no matter what.

Green screen! Lovely green screeeeen! Purely on an aesthetic level, whenever they’re shooting against that unmistakable, vibrant colour I just loved it.

You know when films do that thing and show pictures of the real people the film’s about before the credits so you can go ‘wow this film’s so accurate and got that detail right’?? This does a version of that, and it’s the only one that’s ever mattered/will ever matter.

The real Tommy Wiseau also has my favourite film related tweet of 2017:

Seen at BFI Southbank.

11. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SEASON 5 (created by Jenji Kohan)

The lives of the women at Litchfield Penitentiary, a minimum-security prison in upstate New York. (the annimalllsss the animalllls, TRAP TRAP TRAP till the cage is fulllll...)

This show is about everything the opening titles suggest- women, decisions and time. What’s striking about OITNB is the characters never serve the plot. Plot *is* character. It’s there to serve them. It gives us a framework to waste time with these characters, because ‘all they’ve got is time’.

Season 5 is brave in terms of content and form. There are thousands of people more qualified to speak about the content, so I’ll leave it to them. Form wise: Orange is the New Black is Netflix’s most watched show, and probably it’s major tentpole along with Stranger Things. It has a well-oiled structure. Each season takes place over a few weeks, each episode focusses us in on one character, complete with flashbacks that inform us how they ended up in prison. Season 5 tears that to shreds, setting it basically in real time over 3 days. When it works, it *really* works. There’s no looking away. You feel the grind of what they’re going through. It sometimes leaves them too much time to pad out and we get some boring side plots- but on ambition alone I loved it.

It’s the perfect continuation and accumulation of previous seasons in many ways. The characters you know and love are in extraordinary circumstances. It brings out sides to their personalities that you never knew were there, but fit perfectly. Where all the characters are situated within the prison after the inciting incident is the best use of character geography *as* character I’ve ever seen. Tonally the series has gradually been getting nastier and nastier for a while, but there’s a scene towards the end of this season which is so nasty and so long and REFUSES to cut away even though you desperately, desperately want them too. It’s raw. It hurts. It’s a scene the show has always been heading for tonally and building towards dramatically.

Season 5 slots in just under 4 for me in terms of ranking them all- but it’s still damn good. One things for certain, 5 changed everything for OITNB. The game is different.

Oh, and Nicky’s the MVP.

Netflix.

10. BAD GENIUS (directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya)

Thai Heist-Thriller. A genius high school student makes money after developing elaborate methods to help other students cheat.

WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! The most fun I’ve had in a cinema all year. More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies. Genuinely unpredictable.

The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed. Form and content perfectly married. This is the best way to tell this story, like a Michael Mann thriller, a Steven Soderbergh Oceans-style heist.

Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised. You’ve met them all at some point in your life. It’s whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. Never pulls it’s punches.

2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake… and it’ll suck so hard. It’s rooted in Thailand, the socio-economic situation of people, the time zones, the pressure to succeed, and honestly- just hearing it in Thai.

SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. If you take anything from reading any of this, SEE THIS FILM.

Seen at Vue Leicester Square.

9. NATHAN FOR YOU: FINDING FRANCES (directed by Nathan Fielder)

The feature-length finale of Nathan For You’s 4th season. It’s a show that’s difficult to describe without saying ‘trust me’.... but honestly, *trust me*. Nathan Fielder graduated from business school with ‘really good grades’. He offers outlandish solutions to solve problems for struggling small businesses. In Finding Frances, Fielder uses all the resources of his successful show to help an old Bill Gates impressionist track down his high school sweetheart. Trust me.

Nathan Fielder has accidentally and totally on purpose made one of the best documentaries of the last 10 years.

It’s funny how we remember things. Reality and fiction are blurred. Truth is irrelevant. What does real mean? Does it even matter if we remember it how we want to?

Laptop.

8. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (directed by Martin McDonagh)

A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film.

A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him… makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

Seen at Embankment Garden Cinema.

7. BLADE RUNNER 2049 (directed by Denis Villeneuve)

Neo-noir, sci-fi sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1981 classic.

I’m not a fan of the original Blade Runner. I appreciate it! It’s beautiful! and groundbreaking! but I just find it so heartless and cold. I just can’t connect to it. The best sci-fis are amazing stories with really fun furniture (the gadgets, tech etc.) The original is too much furniture for me. In other words, I had no reason to like this one IP wise. 2049 takes everything that could have been interesting from the original and expands on that. The furniture is just that- furniture. An amazing setting that enriches and serves the story. Everything is there to tell the story. I left the cinema feeling I’d experienced something the way that everyone talks about experiencing the first one.

The most expensive art film ever made. I literally cannot believe this exists. I cannot believe they gave Villeneuve £185MILLION to make a 3-hour long, philosophical film that has no blockbuster tropes: no loveable rogue hero; no ‘off-beat’ quippy humour to keep you interested; no CGI extravaganza 3rd act; NO.FUCKING.SKYBEAM with floating garbage spinning around it that threatens to destroy the world and the heroes have to stop it before everyone in the world dies; no setting up 5 other already planned sequels in the franchise so nothing important happens in this one. It’s a rare type of blockbuster in 2017- one that trusts it’s audience is intelligent.

Denis Villeneuve really is the most exciting director working today. This is just further proof. Arrival (2016) still my favourite of his, but I’m almost more in awe of him for this. Taking such a well-loved franchise and doing something new with it in a way that still feels respectful of what’s come before. It’s his film.

The only use of Hollywood’s new trend of digitally recreating actors (ala Peter Cushing in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) that will ever matter. THIS is how you do it well.

Gender politics (we’re gunna’ go there, SPOILERS AHEAD and I know my opinion doesn’t really matter or count for anything on this just thought it’d be silly not to bring it up, feel free to disagree, v. interested to hear what everyone thinks about this!!) Lots has been written about the treatment of female characters in 2049. Most apt example I can think of to explain how I feel- Taxi Driver (1976), there’s a cafe scene in which the camera lingers on some black characters for uncomfortably long in a kind of parading manner, a ‘look at how terrible these guys are’ manner... it’s very understandable why one could interpret the film itself as racist. I’d argue the film is completely aware of what it’s doing- it’s putting us in Travis Bickle’s eyes, who is a racist character. I mean, we’re literally in his head the whole thing, hearing what he’s thinking and seeing what he’s seeing... I guess what I’m saying is- ‘it’s a decision.’ It’s not an offhand random shot where the filmmaker’s own gaze comes through, it’s a skilfully planned decision to make us question and think about something, in Taxi Driver’s case- what kind of man Bickle is. The treatment of women in 2049 *IS* a decision. It’s not Villeneuve lazily commodifying women, it’s him saying a world where women are only a commodity is a fucking bleak one. It’s a world where real women have been rendered obsolete because the height of success in our society (the CEO of a large corporation), an egoistical white guy with a god-complex manufactures life so women aren’t necessary for continuing the human race, and creates holographic partners for everyday men so they’re emotionally fulfilled without having to engage with actual women. And it’s so horrible. I mean, is anybody happy in this film? Is the picture of the future this film paints bright? It’s a film about how the arrogance of men will destroy everything. And on a base story level, it’s literally about guy who thinks everything is about him... but it turns out to be about a woman. Perhaps it’s lazy for the film to make the decision ‘it’s a patriarchal world so all the women are prostitutes and are treated badly so we’re just gunna’ do that’, but I dunno’... I think there’s more going on. I think Villeneuve is too good for that. I mean his last film was literally about a genius female linguist being the saviour of the world and how a mother’s love is the most precious thing. Would he really do such a U-turn and make a film where the female characters are just objects to be gazed at? I mean- maybe?? If any other aspect of the film felt like it was the studio meddling with Villenueve’s vision I’d buy that... but it’s just SO his film. And I think he’s clever enough to know who the primary audience of this film is- geeky 20 year-old guys. He draws them in with the surface (and all too familiar) images of the female characters, and then turns all of that on it’s head. Just my opinion. Obviously I can never be completely impartial- very happy to be converted the other way.

Seen at Picturehouse Central.

6. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (directed by Luca Guadagnino)

Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily.

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

The rawest and best final shot in the last 10 years.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

5. THE BIG SICK (directed by Michael Showalter)

A Pakistani-born standup comedian/Uber driver and a grad student strike up an unlikely relationship.

MAGIC. The perfect retort to use when someone says ‘all rom-coms suck’. A genuine slab of gold that’s as funny as it is heartfelt. And it’s just SO the kind of thing I like.

I’m unbelievably bored of films and just art in general that’s terrified of being sincere in fear of being labelled sappy or over-sentimental. The Big Sick says ‘fuck you’ to that school of thought and goes for it.

Comedy, romance and drama are effortlessly blended- sometimes all in the same scene. And it never feels off-kilter, mainly due to the amazing performances. Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Ray Romano, Holly Hunter and the rest of the cast always play the truth of the scene- not the humour, the romance or the drama, just the TRUTH of the moment.

The perfect antidote to the year 2017 in general.

Seen at Aldeburgh Cinema.

4. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (directed by Lynne Ramsay)

Gulf War veteran Joe rescues children from trafficking rings.

This is a horror. And more terrifying than any jump scare, this whole film is populated by ghosts.

Deeply troubled, deeply disturbed. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome?

There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life. Images and sounds so seared into my brain they find me at the strangest of moments in a day, and I’m always left thinking about them for the rest of that day. It’s clever like that. Joe can never escape what he’s seen.

Francis Ford Coppola famously told press at the 1979 Cannes premiere of Apocalypse Now - ‘My film is not about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.’

You Were Never Really Here is not about PTSD... it is PTSD.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

3. LOGAN (directed by James Mangold)

Wolverine’s last outing.

I’m not a huge fan of superhero films. Most are fun. Most are also lazy. Few will survive the test of time. Those that will use all the tricks in their genre box and do something interesting with them, transcend- Rami’s Spiderman 2 (2004), Bird’s The Incredibles (2004), Nolan’s The Dark Knight (2008)... and Mangold’s Logan.

So aged. So weary. Everyone is tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of living. Like three sharp metal claws jaggedly tearing through flesh, nothing is polished about this. Bloodshot eyes, skin like leather. He feels so much regret. Like most real heroes, he mourns those he couldn’t save rather than celebrates those he did. And it’s eaten him up inside for the hundreds of years he’s lived.

Here I go talking about furniture again... but every piece of furniture (superpowers etc.) is there to serve the story (and here the characters are story). Like so many blockbusters and superhero movies fail to do, this film is about something other than the furniture... e.g. how do you tell a story about dementia that gives someone who hasn’t experienced a family member suffering from it *that* feeling of sadness, loss, embarrassment, empathy and frustration? You give it to Charles Xavier (played by Patrick Stewart), a character you’re use to seeing as the leader, who always has a clever plan up his sleeve and has the ability to control other’s minds. You give it to him, and you force everyone watch the person they respected the most have to be lifted into bed while screaming about fast-food. It’s heartbreaking. Complex. It’s actually about something other than how in superhero world teamwork saves the day. Every ‘plot point’ and moment tells us something about these characters, even to a fault sometimes. SUBTLE: Logan pulling them jammed claws the way an old boy down the pub with arthritis feels his fingers. UNSUBTLE BUT STILL INTERESTING: making Logan fight the only thing he’s truly scared of- literally the version of himself that blindly obeys orders.

Everyone is SO fucking real. Just *watch* the way Daphne Keen eats that bowl of cereal.

Would highly recommend watching the ‘Noir’ Black & White version.

mild spoilers: It also features the best single edit of the year, from Laura stabbing the shit out of some dude to a flurry of scattered drum beats in the score... then that piercing animalistic roar rips through and all is silent... she spins.... from this:

CUT to this:

An empty forest, the roar echoes out... a low bass note tolls like a funeral. Something is coming. Help is on the way, but it’s an untamed, ruthless, violent help. He’s near...

No one single cut has ever given me chills like that before.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & Picturehouse Central (Noir version)

2. TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Agent Cooper’s odyssey back to the small town of Twin Peaks. The original series of Twin Peaks that aired in the early 90s is often cited as creating ‘prestige’ television as we know it today- your Game of Thrones’, HBO high-quality, Netflix and so on... 25 years later, David Lynch and Mark Frost have returned to kill it.

Earth-shattering. Groundbreaking. An 18-hour film (split into 16 parts) so layered, so complex i’m not even sure where to begin... and most of what I have to say has probably been written by someone else much more eloquently.

For the first 9 hours, I found The Return mostly frustrating. I love the original series so, so much (and the prequel film Fire Walk With Me is one of my favourite films of all time). When I hit hour 10, it was like all the clouds in my head suddenly cleared. I ‘got’ it. What I thought I wanted was all my favourite characters back again talking about cherry pie and coffee with that soft romantic filter. Lynch and Frost (the creators) knew I wanted that. They also knew I didn’t *really* want that... because, the original series will always exist. They knew nothing would disappoint more than a soft reboot. The Return is it’s own thing- within the universe of Twin Peaks, and... within the actual universe. Seriously, how can you categorise this? It jumps from screwball slapstick comedy to silent black and white existentialist horror to 10 minute live band performances... what is the point of even trying to categorise it?

On some of the individual parts: Part 3 is a low-fi, surrealist, near silent masterpiece. Part 8 is... ‘Pure Heroin Lynch’ and has already changed TV forever. Part 11 is the most satisfying instalment, fulfilling storylines from the original series in a measured and poignant way. Part 17 is the conclusion we wanted, sort of... Part 18 is the start of a new mystery, and one of the most haunting things I’ve ever seen.

Twin Peaks will change you life.

Seen on Laptop.

1. THE FLORIDA PROJECT (directed by Sean Baker)

In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in, while her mother Halley struggles to find a new job.

Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again. The endless spinning of helicopter blades, a constant reminder of what they can’t do- escape.

Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. Moonee has seen too much. Halley’s anger at herself and her life bubbles underneath every word and action, but she just doesn’t know how to fix it.

It is *SO* achingly beautiful it hurts. I find it hard to even watch the trailer without crying.

For the problems that face Moonee, honorary queen of The Magic Castle Motel, and the impending darkness that’s sure to come, she has the most powerful gift of all- finding hope where there is none.

‘See, I took you on a safari.’

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & ICA.

DISCLAIMER- things that are not out yet in the UK/I shamefully haven’t yet seen and would likely be on my list too: Lady Bird (further DISCLAIMER i would actually kill somebody to see this) A Ghost Story Raw Phantom Thread War for the Planet of The Apes Coco American Vandal Mindhunter

BEST SCENES:

The third thing I learnt this year- it’s impossible to talk about a specific scene in a film without spoiling it. So... SPOILERS.

The Stairway Fight - ATOMIC BLONDE (directed by David Leitch)

If someone could tell me what the fuck was going on in Atomic Blonde that’d be great but until then I’ll just marvel at how amazing the fight sequences are. Charlize Theron again puts herself at the centre of the progression of American action cinema following her iconic performance in Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). From the first time we see her, lying in an expensive bath healing her wounds and soothing her bruises, we know at some point we’re going to see how she got them. CUE: The 15 minute stairway fight sequence, made to look like a single continuous shot. Leitch and Chad Stahelski (his frequent collaborator and director of the also brilliant John Wick: Chapter 2) are determined to show general audiences what good action scenes look like. This 15-min beauty harkens back to the almost dance like hospital shootout in Hard Boiled (1992), with the rawness and determination of a Children of Men (2006) tracking shot. Charlize Theron (as MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton) fights her way through swarms of henchmen over several floors of an abandoned block of flats, all the while trying to protect Eddie Marsan (who wouldn’t want to protect Eddie Marsan??) Every punch, kick and throw HURTS. By the end, she and the final henchman are so exhausted there’s a sense they might just call the whole thing off- but something pushes them on. Oh, and there’s a 5 minute car chase all part of the same shot to end. Also features the BEST LINE OF 2017. In retort to the final henchman strangling her desperately whispering ‘Take this, bitch!’, she turns the tables, stabs him up hard, then before delivering the final knockdown, pushes her nose to his and asks- ‘Am I your bitch now?’ She doesn’t wait for a reply.

The Eyeless Woman - TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

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Lynch’s best nightmare.

Train Hysterics - LAST FLAG FLYING (directed by Richard Linklater)

2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take.

I liked this movie a lot- just missed out on the top 12 list. The standout scene happens little over half way through, the characters sitting in a storage carriage of a train talking about losing their virginities. It’s the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011).

The Snowball epilogue - STRANGER THINGS 2 (directed by The Duffer Brothers)

Stranger Things season 2 was super mixed for me. I enjoyed it a lot. Kind of.

The first series is a perfect little story, with a perfect beginning, middle and end. I god damn *love* it’s characters so, so much. The plot was simple remixed 80s nostalgia beats, but really just a vehicle for you to get to know Mike and Eleven and Nancy etc. Think about how much each and every scene was practically designed to reveal more about who they were. It was so beautiful. Season 2 however had wayyyyy too much plot which was obsessed with itself and how cool it was and as a result left characters with nothing to do. In other words, in Season 1 all the characters had something to do because the plot came from them, in season 2 characters were given plot roles... like, explain to me what Mike did all season before he saw Eleven again at the v end of episode 8?? What did Jonathan’s storyline tell us about him we didn’t already know? Sure, they don’t have to set up who they are all over again, but the best sequels never take for granted we love the characters- they give us new reasons to love them.

It’s clear to see whose storylines had natural progressions from season 1 and they knew where they were going, and those they had to think of something because Netflix desperately wanted another season quickly. The only original characters season 2 really worked for were Steve and Will. ‘Steve The Babysitter’ was the perfect progression for his character- him voluntarily discarding his Alpha-Jock status, seeing it was all bullshit, now his caring side comes out. Fuck, think how much you disliked Steve all of Season 1 compared to how much you love and deeply want him to be ok at the end of season 2. THAT’s good writing. His storyline was perfect for his character, it kept giving us new reasons to love him. And Will. Holy shit. His descent into Reagan-level possession was the most engaging part of season 2. Basically all of the story came from him. And Noah Schnapp is so damn good. I think simplicity is the key. His story was unpredictable till the last moments, when you realise it was inevitable. It has a clear premise, unlike most of season 2.

In the first, there were very clear overarching premises from the start- Will Byers is missing, Eleven has escaped from the Lab, the Demogorgon is on the loose. Simple premises that allow our characters to manoeuvre around... Season 2 doesn’t really have one other than Will is clearly still connected to the Upside Down... the Mind Flayer doesn’t really start as a concept till the penultimate episode... Hopper and Eleven living together maybbe?? but we’re not really given enough time with them. Everyone else is left with nothing to do, or something that doesn’t really serve their character... UNTIL THE LAST 15 MINUTES.

The Snowball epilogue was like coming to the surface after swimming laps underwater- I sort of enjoyed the laps but I’d rather just be able to breath. All the self-indulgent 80s nostalgia *plot* is done, and all the characters have interesting things to do!! Steve giving Dustin tips dropping him off, and then that longing look he gives towards the hall. Dustin realising ‘I don’t look like Steve Harrington’ after being rejected by every girl at the ball and dejectedly crying... and in comes Nancy to save the day!! Genuinely one of the most beautiful moments in anything all year (notice how we learn more about Nancy’s true nature in this one moment that anything else she really did all season??) Jonathan nearby keeping an eye on Will and being his helpful self taking the Ball pictures. Lucas ignoring what the rest of the group think about Max and asking her to dance. Will actually going to the ball, acting as normal as he can and dancing with someone!! Joyce and Hopper nervously wait outside and reminiscently share a smoke as they did in their highschool days- contemplating on how they probably won’t ever feel like they aren’t worried about their kids... and finally Mike and Eleven just having a bit of happiness for once- actually going to the Snowball together, a beautiful conclusion after speaking about it at the end of Season 1.

As each moment passed in this glorious sequence, I loved the characters more and more. They aren’t doing anything supernatural or life threatening, but the stakes feel SO much higher than they had all season. It’s real. They aren’t shackled with ‘advancing the plot’, they can just be themselves. And I loved it.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Time’s Arrow, Episode 11, BoJack Horseman Season 4 (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg)

BoJack Horseman has been the most visually beautiful cartoon for a while now, it’s breathtaking season 3 silent underwater adventure Fish out of Water helped to gain it much appreciated wide applause. Time’s Arrow is a different beast. Genuinely horrifying. A mind cracked into a thousand pieces and glued back together into something resembling crazy paving. The animation is disturbing. Really disturbing. The nightmarish images running through the failing mind of an old woman with dementia. Images of her regrets, the neglect and abuse at the hands of her parents. Memories burn and melt away like plastic in a fire. The faceless humans and constant scribble over Henrietta’s face haunts me. Beyond the obvious sinister imagery, it means something. A puzzle with too many missing pieces to really make out what the picture actually is. And we’ll never really know.

It’s not the first thing that pops into mind when you think of ‘cinematography’, but Time’s Arrow is the best visual storytelling since... the previous season of BoJack Horseman.

BEST PERFORMANCES:

Cate Blanchett as various in MANIFESTO (directed by Julian Rosefeldt)

Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting.

NO one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. How does looking at her never get tiresome? Every jump from character to character feels genuine. She blew my mind- I knew I was looking at the same person over and over again, but I also *knew* I was looking at 13 different people.

A masterclass.

Kyle MacLachlan as various in TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

2017 is the year of staggering ‘multi-character’ performances. Kyle MacLachlan’s involvement in the new season of Twin Peaks was basically the only thing anyone knew about it going in. And he is the heart of this season in so many ways. Returning to a character 25 years later must be a daunting prospect, but MacLachlan shows no fear. Not only does he play the pragmatic, joyful Agent Cooper we all know and love, he plays his steely, pure evil doppelganger Mr C, child-like amnesiac Dougie Jones and in the final episode... someone quite special. And he makes it look so damn easy. He is the fabric that holds together The Return.

THE ‘KIDS’ in EVERYTHING

2017 has been a bad year for Hollywood. Ultimately though, it will be looked back on as the turning point. THINGS CHANGE NOW. The old guard is running from their past scared. And they should be scared. Uma Thurman is coming to murder them all. There is no room left for the Harvey Weinstein’s, the rotting core of top-down abuse has been exposed. Brett Ratner can fuck off with his swaggering playboy image and terrible movies.

What is truly uplifting is who is going to replace them. A new generation of pure, true artists that this year has shone a spotlight on.

The future is Brooklynn Prince and Bria Vinaite, stars of The Florida Project. The future is Timothée Chalamet, whose central performance in Call Me By Your Name is the realist, rawest thing ever. The future is Saoirse Ronan, the next Meryl Streep. The future is Daniel Kaluuya, who has finally gained world-wide recognition for his stunning leading performance in Get Out. The future is Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown and all of the kids from Stranger Things, who masterfully manage the horrific pressures of being thrust into the tabloid spotlight at the same age most of us just want to cry in our rooms. The future is Sophia Lillis and the rest of the Loser’s Club from IT (a film with the most oppressively terrible sound design ever yet they still manage to make it fun and watchable.) The future is Daphne Keen, the best on-screen cereal-eater who almost steals the film from Hugh Jackman in Logan. The future is Lucas Hedges, someone with rare human fingerprint over every word he speaks in Three Billboards and last year in Manchester By The Sea. The future is Donald Glover, the most creative, multi-talented young artist alive. The future is Caleb Landry Jones, who’s had maybe the most impressive year, with standout supporting roles in The Florida Project, Twin Peaks: The Return, Get Out and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The future is Tessa Thompson, the best thing about Thor: Ragnarok. The future is Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong'o, all the team behind the upcoming Black Panther film, helmed by Ryan Coogler. The future is Barry Jenkins, director of best picture winner Moonlight. The future is Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver and Kelly Marie Tran, the new faces of the most popular franchise ever. The future is Alice Lowe, a force to be reckoned with. Writing, directing and starring in a feature film is difficult enough. She did all of that while heavily pregnant. Oh, and it was her debut feature. It’s called Prevenge and it rocks. The future is Ava Duvernay, a beacon of hope- cannot wait for A Wrinkle in Time, which drops early next year. The future is Sean Baker, the most empathetic filmmaker working today. The future is Patty Jenkins and Gal Godot who have revolutionised the superhero film and inspired a generation of little girls with Wonder Woman. The future is Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, who I’ll follow in whatever they do after The Big Sick. The Future is Jordan Peele, the most exciting new director. The future is GRETA GERWIG, mumblecore queen turned saviour of cinema.

So, what did I learn this year? Well, Agent Dale Cooper is certainly one of the best characters of all time. But most of all: amongst the darkness of everything that’s happened within the film industry in 2017... there’s hope.

The future is bright.

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toomanypizzaboxes · 7 years

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Story Process, Start to Finish

Or, how to write multi-chap stories and balance thematic content.

So I recently received a PM on FFnet with these questions:

And basically, I was just wondering if you had any tips on how you do it? How do you get inside each character’s head? How do you manage to write a story that is both serious and light hearted at the same time?

And I was going to reply right away, except when I actually sat down and thought about it, I realized I’ve never put much thought into the hows of a project, just mainly focused on getting it done. I also realized that these questions have much longer answers than I was prepared for, as I’m terrible at summarizing. It’s one of my big weaknesses. So I thought, since I was going to be answering this anyway, why not make a post of it? Because of course what I need is more attention right? (lol, don’t answer that.) Okay, so let’s get started!

1) Start with a very vivid image of a complete scene.

This is the way I’ve started every single one of my fics. I usually get a lightning strike image in my head of a “fully-rendered” scene. This includes the the setting (colors, time of day, place, sounds, era), the characters involved, and even an aesthetic to an extent (cinematic, old-fashioned book, play). For example, Eyes Wide Open started with the final chapter, where Hinata and Sasuke confront each other while Hinata is wearing Itachi’s clothes. I pictured the tension that would exist between them, with Hinata being very passive usually and Sasuke being overwhelmed by how upset he was by his own petty jealousy. That scene was the springboard for everything else.

You may be thinking, “but that’s ridiculous and very lame advice, not everyone can do that/seems unhelpful!” but it’s not true. Everyone can; it’s just a matter of patience. If you wait long enough and daydream about subject matter that you want to write about, eventually your subconscious mind will do all the heavy lifting for you and puke out an owl pellet of fine content. That may be a little gross of a metaphor, but it’s all I got. Just keep mulling over the same variables you want to include and I promise the scene will come to you.

2) Think about what needs to happen for that scene to be accomplished.

So, now that you have the crux of your story, your visualized scene that will become the seed to the rest of the tale, it’s time to figure out what that seed needs in order to grow.

A lot of people who write romance fics start with the same motivation I do: you have your main ship and you want them to kiss/enter into a relationship. However, a lot of younger/less experienced writers stop there. A kiss is easy, right? All they have to do is be in the same room and make eye-contact, duh! What I’m getting at is that a lot of younger writers do just that. They place each party in a setting where they’re together and of course, since we love them and want them to love each other, they immediately fall in love inexplicably and kiss that very same night, story done!

There’s nothing wrong with that. If you want your ship to just kiss and be done with it, you can write that. However, not everyone wants to accept that it’s that easy, especially if one ships a crackship like sasuhina. It can be really difficult to keep people in-character and have them fall for each other instantly, and most people who’ve been reading/writing for the ship for a long time might not be interested in or satisfied with the usually-shallow setting that these love-at-first-sight romances offer. It’s just not fun. I, for one, want to suffer with my OTP as they grow and change in order for their love to take place!

So that’s what you have to focus on. Keeping with the Eyes Wide Open example…. There’s no logical reason for Sasuke and Hinata to be around each other. Sure, they were contemporaries in canon, but Sasuke barely paid attention to his own teammates, let alone people who held no bearing on his life in the slightest. So I changed the setting and the age group. Of course people in the same town who come from similar family backgrounds have a likelihood of sharing classes, so it’s not that difficult to imagine them meeting on the off-chance. Most of the big developments in Eyes Wide Open happened because of Sasuke’s and Hinata’s outside influences, who all knew each other and thus pushed them together.

What does your ship require? What needs to change for them to be open to love/a relationship? I like writing slow burns because most realistic romances are slow burns. The involved parties rarely realize the road they’re on until it’s too late and then messy feelings get involved and all the delicious events start occurring.

3) Saturate yourself with the canon materials, then study up on fandom materials.

“How do you get inside each character’s head?” It’s a really good question and I’m not too sure myself, but I’ll do my best to explain my method.

Most of my stories begin on a whim because I’ve been binge watching/reading/playing something non-stop. If it’s gone on long enough, I’ve usually picked my favorite characters and naturally started shipping them. (Ah, the life of a crack-shipper!)

When you want to write for a fandom, it’s wise to know the canon material as inside-out as possible. If it’s a movie, make sure you’ve watched it recently. If it’s a TV series, make sure you’ve seen all the episodes with important details. (I’ve skipped a lot of Naruto filler, for instance.) Surround yourself by canon knowledge and study it until you’ve got a grasp of the canon universe. Abilities, physics, politics, hierarchies, interaction, setting, etc. This is your foundation to branch out from. I once opened a Naruto fic where the author repeatedly referred to chakra as Charka, capitalized and all. It generally bodes poorly for the future content of the fic because if they didn’t even pay close attention to the canon really, how much effort are they going to put into writing for it? This is an important process for making your written piece feel close to the same level of charm/draw that the canon has.

Narrowing that down, if you want to write a character-driven piece, you need to know the characters. Treat them like they are real people that you want to be close friends with, then pay attention to everything about them. Fall in love with them. Study their motivations and personalities. What causes them to react in varying situations? What draws out certain emotions? It’s okay to use references. Make use of the well-curated wiki pages that many fandoms have. Get to know ages, heights, tastes in food. Manga are usually really rich in these smaller details, as it’s common for them to be sidebar filler.

Once I’m sure I’ve gotten a strong handle on the canon character, it’s time to dive into fanon. If I’m writing a fic, you can bet it’s because I’ve read up and down every website category for this pairing and haven’t found what I wanted. But the key is I’ve read so much fanon. Study how other authors write the characters. What aspects do they focus on? Do you like the way they portray x/y/z? A lot of people made Sasuke an overly-romantic, can-do-everything-perfectly type who referred to Hinata as “love” or “darling”. That didn’t really feel like Sasuke to me. In canon he’s a bitter snot who has a bit of an inferiority complex and he acts out by not using honorifics and being sort of casually disrespectful. He can also be incredibly lazy in his human interactions, so he wouldn’t be confrontational or talkative unless it got him something or he was provoked. A lot of people also made Hinata an overly-stuttering mess who’s just there to be pretty. Listen, it’s a real turn-off to be constantly bombarded by what Hinata is wearing to show off her “feminine curves” in “all the right places” and how slender or petite she is, how her long, milky legs are so enticing. You want your characters to be human and relatable. When Hinata is a runway model who can pull off some cool jutsu, I get bored. I’m not pretty and jutsu doesn’t exist in reality, so what else is there to connect with? What goes on in your character’s head? Their feelings, their dreams. What do their mannerisms do to illustrate those thoughts? Don’t focus on appearance unless necessary. It takes away from the emotional impact of your story.

How does fandom portray your chosen characters and what do you want to do differently? That’s your goal for characterization.

4) Summarize each event needed to reach the conclusion.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s a method I got from an old “how to write shoujo manga” book. Separate the various plot points into their own, standalone-events, then write them on their own note cards. Write scenes you want to include for the heck of it, too, go crazy! This is your story, have fun! When you’re done, arrange them into a timeline with a build up to a climax and then a wrap-up. Boom, your story is half-written already. This really helps avoid (most) writer’s block, as well.

5) Start writing.

Go forth and write! Trust your instincts. You’ve gotten the hard parts out of the way and your foundation is strong at this point. Take your time and if you get self-conscious or confused, go ahead and reach out! Get a beta-reader, or maybe a friend to bounce ideas off of. Make sure it’s someone you trust. If you like, you can write the whole thing in a first draft before posting so you have time to go over it for plot holes/errors/etc, or if you’re impatient like me and don’t care as long as your ship reaches a romantic conclusion in a satisfying way, go ahead and post as you write.

6) “How do you manage to write a story that is both serious and light hearted at the same time?”

My number one piece of advice for this question is this:

Ingest the kind of media you want to produce.

I’m a huge fan of romantic comedies, but specifically the older ones from the late eighties and the nineties. Even more specifically, Nora Ephron. Nora Ephron is fantastic at creating a story that is just as implausible/fantastical as every other romance, but her characters are well fleshed-out, relatable, and funny. Her settings are a wonderful balance between the tantalizing energy of fictionalized big cities and the quiet, intimate moments you get between friends and families within those cities. The structure she utilizes has a draw to it. It pulls you in and makes you feel like you’re experiencing it along with the characters. While many of her stories are really, truly comedies, there’s usually a sense of drama woven in with a skill I can only hope to achieve someday. I think the key for keeping a story light-hearted even while it deals with heavy subject matter is to keep the dramatic aspects lingering along the outskirts.

For example, in When Harry Met Sally, you follow along with Harry and Sally as they age over twelve years. Natural comedy is easy to write, because everyone has their own sense of humor that shines in the right circumstances. Harry and Sally clash over their opinions but in a way that makes it easy for them to get along, as well as providing witty, engaging dialogue throughout the film. Most of the content of the story evolves through their shared awkward encounters involving friends, romance, bad decisions, and other things that real people experience every day. However, the whole time there is an underlying message that is being slowly brought to the front: the stress over finding someone to love and belong with before one gets “too old” or time runs out. Small moments are placed amidst the various sequences, off-hand comments about aging, competing with more attractive people, disgust with the opposite sex but the desire to still find someone to love.

In reality, we deal with drama every day. A person living in poverty might be one paycheck away from homelessness, and while that detail weighs heavy on their mind, they won’t think about it constantly because that would be exhausting. Most of our time is spent living in the moment, thinking about the past and the present until we are forced to deal with drama. Utilize that in your writing.

In Eyes Wide Open, the bulk of the story is spent in everyday life of going to college classes, eating out at a cafe, spending time with friends or spending time at home. That’s the light-hearted part of the story. The rest is comprised of the small details hinting at drama like Itachi’s cough building into his collapse and consequential surgery, Sasuke’s space-outs as he struggles with his anxiety and PTSD, Hinata’s background growth as she develops into her own person separate from what her family wants or what she thinks Naruto wants.

Compartmentalize the different subjects you want to tackle in your piece, then organize them in ways that make sense story-wise and feel satisfying emotionally. It takes practice and I’m not saying I’m the best by any means. You can write one-shots to practice until you feel good enough to try a multi-chap fic.

I hope that I answered the questions sufficiently, and that this is helpful to anyone who reads. This is by no means a one-answer-fits-all process; it’s just things I’ve learned from my own experiences. If you have anymore questions or want to discuss something more in-depth, feel free to inbox me any time! I’m always available! Thanks for reading!

#whyte says stuff #writing tips #writing #writing help #fanfiction #fiction

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therachelperspective · 7 years

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BOOK ⎟ A Work in Progress by Connor Franta

Don’t feel bad if you don’t know who Connor Franta is. I openly admit that I didn’t have a clue who this 24-year-old YouTube sensation was until I decided to pick up his memoir, A Work in Progress, at Target. It seems silly, doesn’t it? Reading a memoir written by someone who doesn’t seem nearly of age to do so, and is a few years younger than me at that. But this is one of those times when you should not judge a book by its author, nor an author by his age. Connor Franta is more – much more – than he seems.

Published in 2015, A Work in Progress is described by Franta himself as an elaboration of what he discusses in his vlogs (blogs in video form; his channel found here). Its content, as such, covers a variety of topics that include the usual growing up, family, school, friendships, relationships, sexuality, and beyond. What I really discovered, though, was that it is more accurately a self-help book masquerading as a memoir. My copious notes made up almost entirely of quotes show that Mr. Franta is wise beyond his years. Although he is a relatively privileged white boy with very little struggle under his belt (being chubby as a child and coming to terms with his sexuality being the two major high points), Franta does well to remind readers of what’s important in life: discovering who you are, following your dreams and passions, living your life in the present, and accepting your flaws as part of your uniqueness. He has a lot to say and gives incredible amounts of advice as he discusses his life, but these concepts are generally the major takeaways throughout AWIP.

As much as I appreciated what Franta shared in his novel – and trust me, so many good things – the only truly special aspect about the book is that he makes a “healthy living” making YouTube videos (thanks to advertising revenue) and he was, at the time of publishing, only 22 years old. Franta has made a name for himself online and has the large fanbase currently sitting at just over 5.5 million people to show for it, but his story at its core isn’t much different than my own. Part of the reason I chose to read A Work in Progress was because of the fact that he, too, is from Minnesota (try to find La Crescent on a map, I dare ya); I’m always drawn to tales of those who also hail from the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” and how they made their way in the world... But he’s no Bob Dylan or anything. It’s refreshing to know that fame is achievable in such a way that Franta achieved it, I will give him that. But it is, at times, hard to wrap your head around how he did it. I absolutely enjoy his videos, so don’t think I’m just slamming the hell out of this kid; he’s funny and incredibly relatable as a person. YouTube fame is just weird.

Something I became increasingly aware of as I was reading was the particular vernacular and mannerisms Franta used – one might say, the type of communication specific to millennials of today’s society, especially in textual form. It is all the more apparent if you watch his videos and witness his traits in action. Franta is, by definition/for all intents and purposes, a “hipster,” made all the more clearer as he uses pages of AWIP to document his love for vintage record players and Polaroid cameras, how he considers coffee to be a full-body experience, and he even dedicates a page to talk about looking at the moon. I understand this though because, hey, I myself am on the older end of the spectrum for the millennial generation and also a part-time hipster. I, too, enjoy a good specialty coffee from Starbucks, often enjoy staring at that bright circle in the night sky, and use some of the same language Connor Franta does. But being the older millennial that I am (i.e. I’m just enough of a millennial to be engulfed in technology on a regular basis, but also know how to *gasp* go without it), I sense that gap in the forms of communication. Read an older novel from Hemingway, for example, and then read Franta’s AWIP; you’ll see what I mean. Fortunately, it’s safe to say the majority of his readership comes from his viewers that are his own age. As such, AWIP doesn’t have the opportunity to get lost in that translation with any older age groups, nor does it get slammed as for it’s incredibly conversational qualities. As a reader stuck in the middle of old school vs. new school communication, it can just, at times, distract from the story.

I’ll be the first to say I’m shocked when confessing that Connor Franta’s A Work in Progress was surprisingly helpful to me. A Work in Progress is merely some youngster’s story about his 22-year life; who knew it would be so damn relevant to me... maybe to everyone willing to read it. Thanks once again, Universe, for having me read a book that is incredibly pertinent to the exact situation(s) I’m going through *shakes fists*. I picked it up because this book is so aesthetically pleasing I about died – understandable considering the design nerd Franta is (his words, not mine) and as much as I equally am. The personal photographs provided and taken by Franta himself are so beautiful, you could spend just as much time leafing through the pages just to admire them. But add to the fact that this young man is far more enlightened than you could ever imagine makes this book worth reading at least once in your life. Sure, he talks about everyday stuff that is hardly exceptional (bonus: his parents and his family are SO SUPPORTIVE), but the way he touches on the difficult topics with grace and awareness bring back the slightest ounce of faith in humanity.

FAVORITE EXCERPTS

“Friends are not a number. You can’t collect connections.”

“Girls can be athletic. Guys can have feelings. Girls can be smart. Guys can be creative... Gender is only specific to your reproductive organs (and sometimes not even those), not your interests, likes, dislikes, goals, and ambitions.”

“Guys need feminine energy as much as girls need masculine energy to get by in this world.”

“Not all attention is created equal.”

“Sometimes we lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing. We get sick of certain aspects of our lives and forget the end goal. But everything has a purpose. There is a reason behind every struggle.”

“We live in a world where the importance of stability is drilled into use from an early age. If it’s not explicitly stated, then it is seen in the way most of our parents, other elders, or authority figures live their lives: cautiously, pragmatically, and sensibly... The potential risk of failure scream its warning from far away, which is why those with experience feel it is necessary to tell us to find ‘proper jobs’ – the kind that pay well and guarantee long-term security.”

“Failure is your teacher, not your judge.”

“All you have to know is why you’ve done something and like it, without seeking the validation or approval of others... Create first and foremost for yourself, no one else.”

“If you like you, that’s all that matters.” – Connor’s mom

“Own every aspect of who you are and present it to the world with the utmost pride.”

“It’s okay to be liked. It’s okay to seek likes. But it’s not okay if you allow those likes to become the foundation of your sense of self-worth.”

“Who are you? Answer: You are who you are in this given moment. Label-less. Limitless. Remember that from this day forward.”

“Destination and destiny share a root word for a good reason.”

“The only thing holding you back from experiencing [opportunities] is yourself and the false limitations you’ve imposed on yourself.”

“A thought is only as strong as you allow it to be. We either fuel it or release it.”

“Life waits for no one.”

“It’s not okay to just get by existing day to day. Where will that get you? Aren’t we here to live? To squeeze the maximum amount of juice and at the end of the day, say to ourselves ‘Wow I’m so grateful to have what I have and do what I do.’”

“The hardest part was allowing myself to want something other than what was socially acceptable...”

ABOUT CONNOR FRANTA (from the inside back cover)

Connor Franta is an internet sensation and global trendsetter with millions of followers on YouTube and many other social media platforms. He is the founder of Common Culture Coffee and works closely with The Thirst Project, a charity that provides clean drinking water in Africa, for which he raised more than $230,000 in thirty days. He also curates music from up-and-coming bands for his Common Culture compilation albums. This is his first book. To learn more, visit: youtube.com/ConnorFranta and twitter.com/ConnorFranta

A Work in Progress: A Memoir by Connor Franta Atria/Keywords Press (Simon & Schuster) | April 2015 | 212 pages

MY RATING: ★ ★ ★ ✩ ✩ There are some pretty deep praises of this book in my review and you’re probably wondering about its lower rating. Don’t get me wrong, this book was wonderful and provided a multitude of amazing advice... but I personally felt there wasn’t a lot of substance. He was able to give said advice because he lived it, but all of those things are honestly what every kid has gone through (give or take some personal details). That makes it very relatable, for sure. But his unconventional fame and the age at which he wrote his first memoir really feel like the only noteworthy details. Change some details and this could be my story. Also, I know he meant well by them, but his words of encouragement that often concluded each chapter were a bit much for my tastes. Which makes me believe that his coaxing words are better geared towards his younger readers just getting to know themselves, not a near-30-year-old who has a pretty good grasp of who she is.

His sage advice helped me cope with some friendship issues, as well as following my gut, so I will absolutely give him incredible kudos for his novel in that sense. But... I really kind of feel that he is a kid of opportunity. He is definitely a hard working guy, but a lot of his opportunities and achievements are spawned by who he now knows or due to the reach he has across the internet.

#book review #books #literature #a work in progress #connor franta #advice #memoir #autobiography #novel #review #reviews

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moversdevelopment · 5 years

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What is content that attracts links naturally

Having a detailed plan in today’s world, where thousands of companies are competing online and trying to come up with perfect marketing strategies, is extremely important. Whatever kind of content you create, you need to know what are the strengths of that type of content and how does it fit into your overall plan. In the whole grand scheme of things, content that attracts links based purely on its quality and its appeal to your potential customers is usually crucial. In a lot of cases, if you want to know how to find potential clients, you also need to understand how to create content that will generate a lot of backlinks. Hopefully, we can help answer that question.

Infographics

When you’re looking for content that attracts links naturally, infographics are the first thing that comes to mind. Infographics are a way to make information easily accessible to a large number of people. Of course, they shouldn’t only contain the statistics and other general information, but also content that will be unique to your website (comments explicitly written for this occasion, and so on). This additional content, if finely written, will guarantee that your customers won’t find the same content anywhere else.

What makes for a useful infographic? Let’s start with the obvious – it should look great! The information should be easy to read, so use large fonts. Also, don’t forget to highlight the most important data somehow visually. Doing so will eliminate the potential monotony in the reading process and structurally punctuate the entire infographic.

Making highly-engaging infographics is essential to having content that attracts links.

The topic should be relevant and exciting. Try to focus on one specific area that your customers will be interested in. For example, if you’re dealing with moving, focus on storage, or moving large objects. Don’t try to make an entire infographic about shipping your customers’ items! The reason is that infographics are essentially a short-form website content – you can’t cover everything adequately, even when we’re talking about only one large area in your niche. Also, if the data comes from your own original research – that’s even better.

White papers

Next, we have white papers. Similarly to creating infographics (and, in fact, to all other types of content), you should choose a relevant topic that your customers will be interested in. This topic should be particular, and the paper should be written in a concise yet highly-effective manner. Avoid white papers that are too long – one should be read it relatively quickly while keeping them informative and engaging. In case you don’t feel like you have the writing chops to do this on your own, it’s a good idea to hire a professional freelance writer.

Whatever you decide, just remember that your white papers will really need to be serious, informative guides, and not a commercial for your business disguised in the form of a white paper. Unfortunately, a lot of businesses’ websites feature white papers that only discuss their topics occasionally, somewhere in between trying to attract the readers to use their products and/or services. While your brand development strategy is essential, but in this case, it is not as important as quality. If you’re trying to come up with content that attracts links naturally, only properly written white papers will do.

Write down the general outline of the white paper, and begin writing!

Webinars

Our next choice is slightly unusual. However, we believe that when appropriately used, webinars can also attract you many links. Many people aren’t even thinking about using webinars as a means of gaining backlinks. They use them to engage the people who are already well on their way to being transformed from potential customers into actual customers.

Of course, taking the time to answer your clients’ questions and explain and eliminate any important issues that they might have is an integral part of any webinar. But, that won’t do you much good when you want to generate links. So, how to do that?

First of all, you need to provide your customers with an opportunity to chat with you during the webinar. That will make your customers much more involved and much more inclined to click on the embedded links. However, just having a chat feature is not enough – you also need to aggressively market your webinar so that your potential customers will know that they’ll be able to join and chat directly with you. Social media, mailing lists, your website’s blog – everything will need to be utilized so that your webinar will reach as many people as it is possible.

After your webinar is over, send surveys to anyone who participated. Ask them all the relevant questions and tell them what they can do next if they’re interested in your services.

Videos

The next type of content that attracts links practically on its own is – videos. The problem with videos, despite them being unparalleled in attracting links, is that there’s too many of them! Your potential customers are overwhelmed with a massive amount of videos that are trying to convince them that this is a company whose services they should use, or that this is a product that’s better than any other similar product on the market. So, it’s natural to ask how to make your videos visible among thousands of others?

People love looking at (and sharing) videos!

The first way to make your videos stand out is obvious – find what your customers are interested in, and make high-quality videos on that subject! That involves taking the time to perfect your videos, both aesthetically and information-wise. You’ll really have to give your best to make videos that will attract links.

What’s more, your videos will also have to feature the key elements of your brand. Including things like a specifically made intro animation will add a lot of personality to your videos, making the viewers more emotionally engaged with your brand. If you’re posting videos on Youtube, also take the time to choose custom thumbnails and to write a fun and informative summary of the video. And once the video is over, directly remind the viewers that sharing is caring.

More tips on content that attracts links easily

Finally, we’ll finish with some more general tips related to content that attracts links hassle-free:

Posts with lists in them are a favorite among the majority of consumers. Such content typically generates a lot of links (which could explain your hypothetical sudden urge to link to this article, no?).

Try to involve the most popular influencers in your branch, and get them to link to your content. For example, if you follow particular influencers and you have listened to their advice on specific topics, create content detailing how you’ve done that, then inform the respective influencer. He or she will most likely be very pleased to hear that their advice actually mattered, and will link to your content. Of course, this is just one example; generally, you should always try to find a way to reach the influencers. The importance of backlinks is excellent, and the importance of influencer-generated backlinks is actually many times greater.

Create content related to whatever burning issue is currently raging in your branch, and focus on the ways that everyone can help. Showing that you care will go a long way toward attracting you many links.

A vast amount of bloggers are using stock photos. An excellent strategy to attract links is to create your own high-quality photos and then let the relevant bloggers use them for free. The only condition here is that they have to link to your website once they’ve done so. Creating custom images won’t be easy, but that is undoubtedly a type of content that attracts links in high numbers, so doing so will be rewarding later on.

The post What is content that attracts links naturally appeared first on Movers Development.

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rockrevoltmagazine · 6 years

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EXCLUSIVE: Lyric Video "No Forgiveness" and Interview w/ Sam Sky

If you’ve never heard of Allentown, Pennsylvania-based rockers, Vicious., you’d better get on the bus, friends. Fronted by former I Am King vocalist, Sam Sky, Vicious. takes the gritty, raw, emotional power of post-hardcore and combines it with the lyrical clarity and catchy hooks of solid alternative rock, catapulting their sound to a whole new level with their new single, “No Forgiveness.” And we here at RockRevolt are thrilled to be the ones to bring it to you first!

Check out the lyric video for “No Forgiveness,” and then keep scrolling for our chat with Sky. Touching on everything from their Pennsylvania roots to the new sound and direction he sees Vicious. heading in, it is apparent that this band is going places – fast! You are going to want to be able to say that you knew them when, so punch your ticket for the Vicious. Express! All aboard, folks. This baby is taking off!!

But first, the world premiere of “No Forgiveness.”

youtube

Hey, thanks for letting us be the first to showcase the awesome video for “No Forgiveness!” I’m looking forward to talking with you! First of all, I am a punctuation and grammar nut, so the fact that you have a period in your name intrigues me and excites me more than it likely should. Where did the name come from, and why the punctuation?

Let me just say I can already tell this interview is going to be a lot of fun! (laughs) I’m so stoked to be doing this!! The name is just something that has been in my head since day one. Never even researched to see if the name was taken or not; I didn’t care. I wanted that name. And besides, it’s not about who does it first, it’s about who does it better, am I right? Also, Vicious certainly has correlation to Sid Vicious, big Sex Pistols fan. Lastly, it’s also the name of a character from Cowboy Bebop, one of my all-time favorite animes.

As far as the period goes, it’s because there is a rapper named Vicious from the 90’s, and our music was ending up on his profile. So, I just stole a play from my former band mate Andrew Wetzel’s play book; only instead of an exclamation point, I liked the period more. It just strikes me as an even more adamant statement as a brand on paper for some reason.

I know Allentown, PA, very well. And so, the fact that you come from there is exciting to me. How do your small-town roots play into what you do musically? Have you felt you have had to overcome any unique challenges being from PA instead of, say, New York City or Los Angeles? How do you take that small-town creative aesthetic and spread it with your music? I bet it makes your families super proud!!

Dang. These are very tough questions.

Honestly, we are pretty disconnected from what everyone is doing musically in this area. Vaguely in touch with what’s going on just through the shows we play locally, from what I’ve seen pop punk is on the up and up here. We are kind of in our own world when it comes to that; and if there is any resemblance in sound to any other bands in the area, it’s purely coincidental.

As far as it being challenging, I’d say it absolutely is. Even from when I left I Am King a few years back, the landscape of the music world has changed sooooo much; it’s crazy. We’ve learned and continue to learn to adapt.

As far as taking that small town, genuine aesthetic, we just stay true to who we are and don’t give a single fuck about who we offend.

Lastly, I’d say some of our parents are prouder than others. My parents despise what I do. (laughs)

I know you had a really strong base with I Am King, and many of the fans seemed to be a bit miffed (for lack of a better word) when you left. How has leaving that experience lent itself to you creating something different, and very likely better, with Vicious.?

In every way me leaving that band, and the events transpiring afterwards absolutely have direct correlation to what Vicious. is and sounds like. When you lose everything, it changes you. You find a whole new strength to survive that’s somehow always been inside you. And Vicious. is that change in not only me, but in my band mates lives, as well.

Who do you turn to musically for influences?

It’s all over the place for me. I’m a weirdo. John Mayer is one of my spirit animals for sure, The Offspring, Nirvana, Slipknot, Linkin Park, The Descendants, Johnny Cash, Social Distortion, Limp Bizkit, aaaaaand I’ll end it with Refused. Just to name a few. (laughs)

What is your writing process like in terms of putting together songs and knowing which songs make the cut and which ones get the cut?

Our process varies a lot. Sometimes it’s all written in my head; sometimes it’s Dan and I writing it out with an acoustic guitar. Other times, it’s a full band thing, and a lot of collaboration happens during the actual recording process for sure. As far as which songs we cut, so far we haven’t cut any. We wrote four songs, tracked them all, and are releasing them all. We aim to have every track be strong enough to stand alone as a single. We write banggeerrrssss.

Vicious.

Your songs speak a lot of pain, and I am wondering if that is something you have made the conscious effort to do or if it just happened organically. It’s said that you guys, “write lyrics that say what everyone is thinking, but either don’t know how to or are too afraid to actually say it.”

I know in these times, having artists speaking about issues that are relatable and honest is something that many listeners tend to turn toward. I, for one, more than appreciate it. So, is that on purpose or just who you tend to be when it comes to creating your sound and content?

I certainly wouldn’t say it was a conscious effort. Life hits hard, and rains on the just and unjust alike. Life will beat you down, eat you up, then spit you back out again. A wise man would roll with the punches and ride the wave; unfortunately, I’ve never been very wise. Pain has been my biggest instructor, so it comes through in my writing. Now as far as our message being honest and relatable, that’s more of a conscience thing. I try to be as transparent in a way that can be felt, for sure.

As a band, do you feel some sort of responsibility with your content and making it something that the fans can relate to? Do you hear from fans that your music has helped them through an ordeal or trying time?

The artistic side of me doesn’t necessarily care about it being relatable; if it is, that only makes it more special. However, the business perspective/ song writer in me tends to even that out and try to make it so that all the dots are connected for anyone listening to make it as relatable as possible. It’s that give and take.

Speaking of fans, do you feel social media is more of a hinderance or a help when it comes to time spent and outreach to the fans? Do you find yourself getting sucked down the infamous black holes of social media?

A few years back, I would tell you it isn’t a hindrance at all. However, these days all these goddamn fucking algorithms make everything you put out almost impossible to be seen or heard. It’s completely fucked. Now I need to pay to let MY OWN fan base, the people who elected to see and hear things from our pages, see and hear what we are up to? Like I said, completely and totally fucked.

If we can’t find you writing or making music, where can we find you and what are you doing? What else keeps you busy?

On any given day, you can pretty much always find me working for the man. I put in about 60 hours a week. After work, I’ll come home to eat, kiss my daughter goodnight, then head to the studio until 4 or 5 in the morning sometimes, then wake up by 8 am and do it all over again. Also, it should be said that my whole band grinds just as hard. Honored to be working with such dedicated dudes. We take the whole “Find what you love and let it kill you” thing literally.

I actually have a tattoo planned in my head with that exact quote in it!! If I were to take a peek at your most recent playlists, what bands/genres/songs would I see?

I’m sure if you looked at Chris’s (Bassist) playlist, it would be a bunch of trap/heavy rap. AJ’s (Guitarist) listens to a cluster fuck of random shit, but lots of Metallica no doubt (I hate Metallica, yuck.). Dan’s (Guitarist) rocks it to all of My Ticket Home’s latest record. You already know what I’ve been rockinnnnggggg.

Any tour plans in the future? I have GOT to get my ass out to see you perform live!

I don’t know about full tours, but we certainly have every intention on hitting some great 4 or 5 day runs, festivals, and other great one offs. I’m certainly not saying that touring is off the table, but we prefer to work smarter not harder. However, if something irrefutable came up, we wouldn’t miss the opportunity.

Speaking of tour, what would your dream tour look like?

Linkin Park (R.I.P. CB), The Offspring, The Beastie Boys (R.I.P. MCA), John Mayer (because fuck it), Conditions, Nine Shrines, Post Malone, My Ticket Home, and 30 Seconds to Mars. It would obviously be called the “Because Fuck It Tour.”

What can you tell me about “No Forgiveness?” It is a very strong, heavier track, so what influenced it? What can fans expect from it, and where will it lend itself to the narrative you are creating with Vicious.?

I dunno about the narrative, I don’t try to follow a specific direction because I feel like you put yourself in a box. If it vibes the same, rad. If It doesn’t, that’s rad, too. The song itself is about being left for dead by pretty much everyone in the industry and outside after I quit I Am King. Plenty of my “friends” were happy to watch me struggle and fall. This song is a prompt fuck you to those individuals. “I know how to lose everything and pick up where I fell.”

Just want to close out by saying thanks again on a sincere note for reaching out with this interview. Blessed and thankful for every new opportunity, whatever form it may take. Cheers and I hope you have a great Christmas and New Year!

Connect with Vicious. (click icons):

Interview by Devon Anderson, RockRevolt Magazine Managing Editor

EXCLUSIVE: Lyric Video “No Forgiveness” and Interview w/ Sam Sky was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

#Interview #lyric video #no forgiveness #RockRevolt #RockRevolt Magazine #sam sky #Vicious #video Premiere #world premiere

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