#like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least

[endwalkr]

weee

#lotr good #lol i know i already made a post about it earlier this week but i finished watching the extended movies<\3 #reading the appendices is slightly on halt since its no less work than studying but #i think readinf the books was soooo much fun like i already really miss being able to pick it up every day for month #the fact that you spend so much more time reading than watching a movie sort of makes the connection a bit stronger in a way #like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least #being able to see it all in movie form is soo lovely cause 1) theyre just such fun movies and 2) you dont have to work your brain to #visualize things as much #although i did end up getting quite used to the writing style and endless describing of landscapes #so i didnt have to focus super hard anymore after a while #but yeah still its nice to just be able to sit back and let it sorta come at you rather than actively read it all #though a difference is that in the book if you find a scene or quote that hits hard you can just sort of read it over and over while still #staying in the zone or the vibe of the scene #whereas in a movie you can rewind of course but it breaks it up a bit xD #sometimes while reading i would loop a quote 4 or 5 times in my head before moving on #idk wtf i am talking about its almost 4am but i am so surprised i ended up liking lotr so much #like i wanted to watch it cause i was curious and general cultural education and stuff but especially after reading of course #ive not really had a new interest where i can like do endless research and learn soo many things about it for quite a while #the experience of finding something new and like slowly familiarizing yourself with it more and more is so much fun #also sjfjdj at me having to read and watch the grey havens scene twice within a week #first the book last monday and now the movie #me sobbing both times😭 #its just really good #and i reiterate because it must be said #nobody ever did and nobody ever will do it like samwise gamgee #shoutout to taking the hobbits to ise gard #shoutout to the shire theme constantly transitioning into the gridania theme in my head #and good night (collapses) #long post #< in case of accidental tag opening sjfjdj

[someonestolemyshoes]

Hi! Have u done any pregnant Hanji and overprotective daddy Levi already?? Yep i think im craving for more domestic levihan family, im sorry 😭

Im a bit new here in the community, and when i read ur works, i fell in love with it already, thank you for existing!!! 💖💖💖

Hello anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed my other fics :3 Sorry for the very long wait for this one, I've been struggling to find the time/motivation to write lately, but I'm feeling a little better and I figured I'd get to work on some of my prompts. Starting here!!

It ended up a little less domestic and a touch more angsty than I had originally planned, but only for a moment--happy endings all round! 

Warning: this does start off with non-graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting, I hope that doesn't bother you!

Hange had been feeling unwell for days.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence—Hange tended to wake up feeling nauseous some days, most often when she'd neglected to eat a decent meal the evening before—but this was the fourth morning in a row now, that Hange found herself bent over the toilet bowl in the early hours of the morning, heaving up nothing but acid and empty air. 

She retched until her stomach ached. There was nothing left to bring up, but her gut still rolled unpleasantly and there was a telling tremor under her tongue that warned her it might be best to stay in the bathroom a little while longer. She settled heavily against the wall to catch her breath.

It didn't make any sense. For most of the day, Hange felt fine. A little tired, maybe, but that was only to be expected after spending half the night every night on the bathroom floor. Tonight, no doubt, would follow the uncomfortably familiar routine: Hange would dry-heave a little longer, until the queasiness abated enough for Levi to convince her to come back to bed, and then she would toss and turn, too warm beneath the bed clothes, until she could fall into a restless sleep. She'd wake up feeling a little groggy, a little bleary, unreasonably hungry, but after a coffee and some breakfast she would feel well again. Perfectly normal.

Like clockwork, Levi appeared in the doorway just as Hange had flopped herself back over the toilet. She felt his palm, cool and soft, press against the back of her neck. Hange gathered her hair back from her face with both hands, braced her elbows on the toilet bowl, letting out a groan of discomfort as her stomach twisted, threatened to revolt again. Levi's thumb rubbed soothingly against her neck.

Sure enough, she brought up nothing more, but she gagged plenty, and found herself gasping for breath by the time she leaned back against Levi, aching and exhausted. His lips pressed into her damp hair.

Levi was as silent as always. His touch was pleasant, his presence welcome. Hange needed the hand he offered to pull her to her feet, needed his reassuring grip at her hips as she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. Her quaking knees felt unstable beneath her. 

He lay facing her after they got into bed. Hange was sprawled out atop the covers, shifting restlessly to find the coolest patches on the bed. Levi watched her for a moment, then said, "This isn't normal."

Hange only grumbled.

"You said you'd book an appointment with the doctor."

Hange grumbled again. Levi ticked his tongue and rolled to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Call tomorrow."

"If I didn't know better," Hange said sluggishly, "I'd say you were worried about me."

He scowled and rolled onto his other side, his back to her now.

"No, just sick of waking up at half four every morning to drag you back to bed."

Hange managed a small, wicked snicker, but shuffled across the space between them and pressed an apologetic kiss to the back of his neck.

"Must be dreadful," she said. Her voice sounded raw, hoarse. She buried her nose into his hair and took a long, deep breath. Levi grunted, but reached back and pulled her arm loosely over his hip. He knotted their fingers together loosely.

"Call them, Hange."

Hange gave his fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"I will."

**

Hange prided herself on being a reasonably intelligent person. She had two degrees, was working towards her doctorate, and already had her name on a small handful of peer-reviewed research papers. She spoke multiple languages, read dissertations for fun, kept a (in Levi’s words) disgustingly realistic human skeleton in a box under the bed for study purposes, and had spent the better part of the last 26 years of her life studying human biology and physiology.  

How she had not predicted that she might be pregnant was almost unfathomable. 

She left the doctors office in a daze with an appointment card and several pamphlets in hand. She had been referred hastily to a midwife and the hospital would soon be sending out a date for an ultrasound—“As soon as possible,” the doctor had said, “since you’re not sure how far along you are.” 

The thing is, Hange had been on the same birth control pill for years now. Forgetful as she may be about many, many things (like eating, and bathing, and washing the dishes and taking out the garbage and and and), Hange was religious in taking that damn pill at the same time every single day. She had never missed it, not even once. Without a regular cycle, Hange had no way of predicting when they had conceived, and the doctor was eager to make sure no essential landmarks in her antenatal care were missed, if they could possibly help it.

The thought had never even crossed her mind. It seemed ridiculous now, in hindsight. The sickness was one thing, but now that she thought about it, there were a whole host of small oddities that Hange could easily attribute to pregnancy. Lethargy, and bloating, heartburn, and she had been peeing more than usual—Hange groaned, and scrubbed her hands over her face. She should have suspected, at least. Should have put the pieces together sooner. 

But, stupid and naive as it may be, she hadn’t thought it possible. Why worry about it, when Hange had taken consistent precautions to avoid it? 

She felt queasy the entire bus ride home. 

It wasn’t that she was against the idea of having children. One day, maybe. When she had finished her doctorate, got herself a steady, well-paid job. When she and Levi had moved out of their tiny, cramped apartment into somewhere bigger, somewhere more suited for a family. 

And god. Levi. 

This was something they’d never really talked about. For his part, Levi never seemed all that interested. He was good with Hange’s nieces and nephews, and Erwin’s son adored him, and he hadn’t showed any express dislike for children, but—well, tolerating other peoples little brats and raising your own are two very different things. 

What if Levi didn’t want the baby? What if he did? Hange wasn’t even sure herself what she wanted to do about the whole situation—what if she didn’t want it? What if, after some reflection, Hange decided now wasn’t a good time? Could they even afford a baby right now? Hange’s money was tied up in her education, while Levi was just making ends meet at the office. They got by well enough with just the two of them, but add in a baby? A whole other person, entirely dependant on them for support? Hange could barely feed and bathe herself, some days, never mind responsibly care for a child. 

By the time the bus pulled up near the house, Hange felt more distressed than ever. Levi, at least, was at work until the evening, so she had a few more hours to herself to mull everything over, but the entire situation made her stomach clench and churn unpleasantly with every new thought. 

The prospect of having a child was terrifying. The prospect of not having this child was nauseating. 

Levi had left the flat in pristine condition when he had left for work, but Hange barely had the energy to feel even a little guilty as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes, leaving both strewn about the floor. She dumped her bag and made her way sluggishly through to the bedroom. 

Levi had made the bed. The sheet was stretched flat over the mattress, the pillows perfectly fluffed and set against the headboard. Hange’s nightshirt, one of Levi’s old, baggy shirts, too stretched and threadbare for him to wear, had been folded neatly and left on her side of the bed, her slippers lined up smartly with the bed frame. For some reason—hormones, she told herself—her eyes watered, and a lump swelled in her throat. She sniffled pitifully as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on the shirt, clambering into the bed and tugging the sheets until the cocooned around her. 

Hange passed the rest of the day tossing and turning in bed. She tried to nap, but her mind was too restless, occupied with thoughts of the baby, with the concept of having to tell Levi when he came home. She could try to lie, say the doctors had done some blood work, that she was waiting on the results of some test or other, but Levi knew her too well. She could never lie to him, and her despondent state would give her away before she had the chance to say anything. 

The sun was beginning to set by the time she heard Levi’s keys in the door. She felt exhausted, head aching with all the thinking, considering, weighing up her options; with running over every possible outcome she could imagine. Keeping the baby, getting rid of the baby, Levi not wanting the baby, Levi leaving over the baby—every scenario she could imagine was worse than the last. There was only one idea that she had hardly dared entertain, in fear of disappointment if things didn’t work out. 

She heard Levi call out for her, but gave no answer. She listened, curled up in a ball on her side, as he shuffled around, no doubt picking up her coat and shoes from where she had abandoned them. And then he made his way towards the bedroom, steps soft on the plush carpet. The bedroom door creaked open. 

“Hange?” 

She made a small, warbled noise under the bedclothes. Levi came to sit on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. His hand found the curve of Hange’s hip. 

“How was it?” 

Hange made another noncommittal sound. She wiped her nose and eyes on the sheets, but didn’t dare show her face just yet. She wasn’t ready. She had never prepared for this conversation, never even imagined it before today. It was too soon. Not enough time to rehearse. 

Levi’s hand moved to her back, rubbing lightly up and down her spine, before dropping to the mattress behind her. He leaned over her, and she felt his lips press warm and gentle to the point of her shoulder. A fresh wave of tears poured over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face. 

She tried to be quiet, but something—the shake of her shoulder, perhaps, or the shudder of air as she tried to take a steadying breath in—gave way to her crying. Levi moved off the bed, but Hange felt his fingers prying lightly at the sheets, pulling them down until he could get a good look at her face. He was kneeling by the bed now, face level with her, and he looked at her with worry pinching deep creases between his brows. 

“Oi, what’d they say?” 

Hange bit the inside of her lip and rubbed her damp cheek on the pillow. If Levi was bothered by her using their bedding as a tissue, he didn’t show it. He simply looked at her, eyes darting over her face, searching. It occurred to Hange then how this must look to him. She had gone to the doctors due to unexplained, violent sickness, and now she is in bed, hours later, still crying about whatever news she had received. 

“I’m fine,” she said. Levi’s tense shoulders relaxed a fraction, but his face remained pinched, frowning and concerned. Hange wanted to tell him quickly, simply, like ripping off a plaster, but the words would not come. She opened her mouth, but her throat constricted painfully. 

Eventually, she said, “my bag. There’s some stuff in my bag. Have a look.” 

Levi gave her a somewhat quizzical look, but stood, dropping a quick kiss to her temple before going to fetch the bag, and dipping his hand in to fish out the contents inside. 

Hange watched with her breath held and her stomach clenched as Levi pulled out the handful of leaflets and turned them over, looking at each one in turn. His eyes widened fractionally as comprehension dawned on him. His lips pressed into a thin line. Leaden weight settled in Hange’s gut. She curled into a tighter ball, pressing the bedsheets over her mouth and nose, waiting for him to gather himself enough to say something. 

After a moment, he spoke. 

“That’s all?” 

Huh? “Huh?!” 

Hange disentangled her arms from the sheets and sat up, staring at him. Levi moved to sit on the edge of the bed again, a scowl back on his face, though there was an intriguing flush high on his cheeks as he whacked her lightly on the top of the head with the leaflets. 

“Stupid four-eyes,” he said, exasperated. “Crying like that. I thought you were dying.”  

“I’m pregnant.” Hange said the word slowly, carefully, in case Levi had somehow misunderstood. He had the audacity to look at her like she was stupid.

“I can see that.” 

“And you have nothing more to say about it? That’s all?” 

Levi shrugged a little at her. Aside from the small patches of colour in his cheeks, Levi seemed wholly unfazed by the revelation. 

“It’s just a baby. We can handle a baby.” 

“That doesn’t terrify you?” 

Levi scrutinised her for a moment, before he said, “are you scared?” 

“Yes? Yes! How are you so calm? We can’t afford a baby—we don’t have the time for a baby? Where will they going to sleep? We don’t have a spare room. Can we get time off work to take care of a baby? How will we pay for childcare when we can’t be around?” 

“Hange,” Levi said, putting a stop to her rambling. He watched her with a pinched stare. “Do you not want it?” 

Hange had spent the majority of the day mulling over this same question. Staring a family was a huge, life-changing commitment, something that required  careful forethought and planning. They had not had that luxury. Hange was pregnant now. She had doubts and fears, more than she could ever express, but the idea of simply having a baby—of having this baby—wasn’t upsetting. In the small, brief moments she had allowed herself to imagine a future where she and Levi were parents, where they weren’t wanting for money or time, where things were well, she felt happy. Giddy. The prospect was almost exciting. 

“It’s not that,” Hange said earnestly. “I do—I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I—I do want it. But I just—we had no time to prepare. We have no savings, we have no space, I’m a mess. How are we supposed to take care of a tiny person? Babies are hard work, Levi.”

“You’re already hard work.” 

Hange laughed weakly, and wiped at her face again. Levi pressed a kiss to her raw cheek. 

“We’ll figure it out,” he said.

Hange leaned into him, sighing quietly. 

“Is this the kind of thing we can just figure out?” 

Levi hummed, shrugging his shoulder. His fingers skimmed up beneath Hange’s shirt, splaying over the small of her back and pulling her closer. 

“Why not? We’ve done a good job bullshitting our way through everything else.”  

Hange laughed lightly and bumped the side of her head against Levi’s.  

“This is different, Levi. This is a person. A tiny little person who is going to need me and you to do everything for them. What if we can’t do it? What if we mess up?” 

“Hange.” Levi pulled back a little and his hands came up to grip either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. “Stop. I know all that. But if you want the brat, and I want the brat, we’ve got no choice but to get on with it.” 

“I know, I know, but—wait, you want the baby?” 

Levi maintained eye contact with her, but it seemed to take a concentrated effort to do so. The flush of his cheeks deepened a little and his lips quirked at the corners. No doubt to compensate for the show of emotion, he pulled his face into his customary frown. 

“It’s fine,” he said. Hange fought the urge to roll her eyes and caught his hands as he lowered them from her face, pulling them into her lap. 

“Are you saying that because it’s already too late, or do you want to keep it?” 

Levi’s face took on a look of constipated strain. He curled his lip as though in distaste, then hooked a hand around the back of Hange’s neck and pulled her face to his abruptly, smacking a kiss to her lips. He let his forehead settle against hers and stroked his thumb over the hinge of her jaw. 

He fought to keep his tone neutral, but Hange could hear the happy tremor in his voice as he said again, “It’s fine.”

For the first time since hearing the news that day, Hange allowed herself to feel excited. To accept the idea that she and Levi were about to start their own bizarre little family. That Levi was still with her felt incredible enough, but to know that he was pleased—it was more than she could ever have hoped for. Hange gave a wet laugh and kissed him again. 

“Are you allergic to looking happy?” Hange asked as they broke apart. Levi clicked his tongue and pulled back to flick her square between the eyebrows. She laughed a little louder and leaned to wipe her runny nose on his shoulder. Levi muttered under his breath, but didn’t push her away.  

“Okay,” Hange said, after a moment. She sat back and pushed her hair back from her face. “Okay. We’re having a baby, then.” 

Levi’s rubbed the smile from his lips with the back of his hand, nodding. “We’re having a baby.” 

Hange sunk down to flop back over the pillows. Levi looked down at her, head tilted, chewing the inside of his lip. Hange reached up to brush his fringe off his forehead, warmth spilling in her chest when he held her hand close and turned to kiss her palm. 

She smiled a little playfully, and freed a leg from the sheets to dig her toes into his ribs. 

“If I’d known you wanted kids I would have been significantly less stressed, you know.” 

Levi quirked a brow at her. 

“I’ve told you that before.” 

“No, you haven’t.” 

“I have. At your sisters wedding.” 

Hange racked her brain, searching for the conversation. She remembered the occasion, and she remembered that she and Levi had somehow ended up babysitting Hange’s family brood. She remembered Levi, wrestling to keep her youngest nephew on his lap while the eldest, still only five or six at the time, was clambering up the back of his chair, sticky hands tugging at Levi’s collar. Hange fought hard to recall more of what was said, but could remember nothing at all of Levi announcing that he had wanted one of his own. 

“You said these brats aren’t so bad,” Hange said slowly. 

Levi nodded at her. Hange waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, only looked at her like there was nothing more he needed to say. 

“That’s it? That’s your idea of telling me you want kids?” 

“The hell else could I have meant?” 

Hange dug her toe at him again but Levi caught her foot this time, pushing it firmly down onto the mattress. Hange reached for him with both arms instead, curling them around the back of his neck and tugging him down quickly. He toppled over her with a quiet oof, and Hange rolled them quickly, straddling his waist and dropping her weight down onto him. 

“That is the kind of thing you say clearly, Levi! These brats aren’t so bad—you’re ridiculous!” 

Levi wrestled with her arms a little longer before giving up and bringing his hands instead to rest low on her hips. He watched her with a curious expression on his face, something open and soft, and then his eyes roved down to her abdomen and his thumbs brushed inwards, beneath the hem of her shirt, stroking over her lower belly. 

This time, he didn’t fight his smile. 

He reached up and pulled her down by the neck, and kissed her soundly. Hange melted against him, welcomed the press of his tongue between her lips, shuddered pleasantly when he nipped at her bottom lip. She went with him willingly as he rolled them both over, nudging a knee between her legs and settling his weight against her. 

She was spreading her legs to make space for him, when he paused suddenly, and pulled back, leaning over the bed and scooping through the discarded back of leaflets. Hange, winded and dishevelled, watched him incredulously as he flicked through the contents of one, then tossed it aside and opened another. 

“What are you doing?” 

Without looking up, Levi replied, “Checking.” 

“Checking what?” 

“I wanna know if we can still—” he waved a hand between them, and went back to searching. 

“We’ve been—” Hange mimicked his gesture, “—up until now anyway.” 

Levi looked up at her, looking mildly horrified. He held up one his open leaflet and said, “You’ve been drinking alcohol, too. You’re not supposed to do that. And look, here—you’re not supposed to overwork. You’ll have to take on less hours at the university. And you’ll eat. Proper damn meals. Every day.” 

Hange flopped back against the pillows, eyes rolling, watching as Levi picked up each new leaflet in turn, pointing out every little adjustment that Hange would have to make. 

“This one says you should get eight to ten hours sleep per night. Every night. And not so much coffee, the caffeine’s bad for the baby.” 

The baby. It sounded surreal. It sounded ridiculous. Levi shifted to sit against the headboard beside her after opening the chunky little What to Expect While Expecting volume Hange had been handed while leaving the doctors. He seemed thoroughly engrossed, and seemingly unaware when one of his hands reached out to pull Hange’s hair free of its ponytail and sink into her hair. She hummed happily as his nails scraped over her scalp. 

Things were still scary, and Hange was still uncertain about how this whole adventure might turn out. But Levi was still with her, and Levi was happy, and that—

—Well, that was good enough. 

#levihan #ask #my writing #this was fun!! thank you :D #hoping I can get around to the other prompts soon too!!

[violasmirabiles]

got tagged by @panwriter, thank you xx

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise? ali. pronounce it however you like i dont really care lol

2. when is your birthday? march 26. so just a few weeks from now. oh boy

3. where do you live? joensuu, finland babey

4. three things you are doing right now? pretending im reading the essays i shouldve read for methodology class weeks ago, making a list of things i need to get from the university library (and where those books are exactly - i dont actually go to the uni library very often at all but for some reason rather many of the books i need arent available as ebooks), trying to drink the second bucket of coffee of the day without spilling it everywhere

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest? re-animator; stephen king multiverse (was gonna just say the shining and doctor sleep but we all know its more than that); saw franchise; the godfather. though with sk and godfather im basically just playing in my own little isolated sandbox and im more than fine with that thank you

6. how has the pandemic been treating you? ah well. its been treating me. got my ba degree and generally have been able to study more so thats good. spent five months with my family in tampere last year and itd probably be good for me to go there again but as it is im stuck in my apartment because of doctors appointments. like thats the only reason i cant just Go. also i recently realized i havent seen my grandma in over a year and cried about that. choir stuff is obviously all fucky and uncertain. also having time to think about things and stuff means ive been figuring out gender stuff so thats been.....interesting....and energy consuming.....and crisis inducing

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? täällä on joku by absoluuttinen nollapiste, its finnish weirdness hours in my head 247

8. recommend a movie. i mean, yeah, re-animator

9. how old are you? 25. 26 in a few weeks

10. school, university, occupation, other? university of eastern finland, babey! english language and culture major, literature minor. did my ba thesis on the shining. the novel, fuck the kubrick film, and wouldnt have been allowed to do my thesis about a film anyway. so right now im a masters student and will start working on my ma thesis next year, trying to get as many classes out of the way before that as possible. dont know what im gonna be once i graduate and id really rather not think about that but i do like studying in spite of everything

11. do you prefer heat or cold? heat. but, like... thats relative, isnt it? what i consider warm is Definitely Not warm to someone who lives in, like, texas. and i Tolerate cold and, christ i dont know. my favorite season is spring.

12. name one fact others may not know about you. once came second in a school skiing competition! i was ten. we didnt get medals, we got like pins/brooches and i still have my silver brooch somewhere

13. are you shy? sometimes. often. im anxious

14. pronouns? they/them. like i said ive been trying to figure out gender stuff and the only thing im Very sure of is that i am Not Cis, and im scared, and i get easily defensive about it all, and i have a lot of internalized issues i need to work on. gendered pronouns are like my number one personal enemy, i need the sort of....neutrality, ambiguity, yknow. finnish does not Have gendered pronouns, we have hän for he/she/they/every neopronoun - and we dont even fucking use that one, everyones just se (it) and thats all fine and dandy when you dont want to Think about your Gender every time someone refers to you and im rambling because i am once again getting defensive for no reason sdfdsfs yeah theres still a lot to unload here i swear were getting there

15. biggest pet peeves? on a bad day? everything. but to give an actual answer, people not realizing their experiences are not universal and that their actions can and will have an effect on others

16. what is your favorite “-dere” type? glad to say im temporarily illiterate so i dont know what this says

17. rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be im afraid i cant do that luv i dont want to have a breakdown

18. what’s your main blog? this one babey

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for. i have @ihmekukkavesi for my photography and @shineondoc for university hell and occasional doctor sleep/the shining yelling. im not gonna call it my studyblr cos it....its really not....its not. im not a good student. im not organized, i dont feel like im Doing This right. im definitely not exemplary. everything becomes a crisis and i need to let it out somewhere and thats what shineondoc is for. 

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friend? oh boy. uh. im not good at keeping a conversation going. yet at the same time i cannot fucking shut up if were talking about something im excited about. i dont know how Real this is but i feel like i might come across as like...arrogant or something but i swear im just scared and trying to keep myself from Rambling(tm) and. well. trying to sound like a normal fucking person. 

tagging @nowendil @appelssiini @librarytraveller @sailonacrossthesea @stokoetopia @kirsikkaprinsessa and anyone whos bored and wants to do this

#got tagged #once again. no pressure if you dont feel like doing this

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Annual Halloween 🎃 imagine: Day 4

Waiting too go too the Halloween feast with Severus but he doesn’t show up. And Remus ends up finding you.

🎃🎃🎃🎃

Damn that Severus Snape!

You spent over a hour waiting on Severus and Lily. Originally Severus was sitting beside you at your friends spot near the lake. Under a shady tree. You and Severus spent an hour reading.. well you read. Severus kept looking up every 3 minutes searching for Lily. Who was Late Again! You figured instantly she probably got tied up with James somewhere. She was all Gaga for James potter lately and it was driving Severus crazy. Which drove you crazy that he was getting jealous of James potter and not realizing you. Right there!

An hour late and Severus finally got annoyed enough at Lily that he went off too Find her. Leaving you behind. You offered too go with him but he promised he wouldn’t be long.. that was two hours ago. After 20 minutes you realized Once again Severus was Gone. He wasn’t coming back. You spent too many hours being sad about the new annoying pattern in your group of three. Lilly would hang out with you both but then soon got too busy with James and other sneaked off, or just didn’t show up. Then Severus would other be cranky and a huge grump the rest of the day or he would go off too Find Lily . Which left you alone.

You had other friends of course. But after Severus behaviour otheryou weren’t in a good enough mood too go off too hang with other friends. Most of the time you did go off and hang with other friends. But today. You were chapters finishing your book and you were rather comfy. Leaning against the tree wearing your thick jacket, gloves on your hands. You decided too read as much as possible before the Halloween Feast later. Before you knew it. It was dark out. You were using your wand too read the book.

“y/n?”

Lifting your head up seeing Remus he was walking around he’s hands in his jacket as he wore his thick griffindor scarf, the warm fall Sun was gone It was freezing as you realizing how stiff and sore your body was. Espically Cold.

“Oh hey Remus.”

“Merlin Beard what you doing out here/ why aren’t you at the Feast?”

You slowly shifted up too your feet as you rubbed your neck, “I was reading- I guess I got caught up.” He chuckled stepping over reading the title. “Pride and prejudice? This is a muggle book.” You smiled as you closed the book as you looked up at Remus him being a Griffindor and you a hufflepuff you didn’t have much contact but you were the same grade. And he was best friends with James potter. And out of the four of them. He seemed the nicest.

“Yea- my dad.. he owns a muggle Book store. He sends me a classic a month too make sure I keep up with my muggle fictional studies. Mom’s a writer. It’s- very important too them I read the classics.”

“How is it?”

“perfection might be the right word- what time is it?”

“Late -the Feast is half over. You look frozen. Let’s go inside.. here!’ He reached up taking his scarf from his neck wrapping it around your neck as he spoke, “where is Severus?”

You smiled touching the warm scarf as you smiled looking up at Remus he was a inch taller then you as you shook your head, “last I saw he was searching for Lilly.”

“she’s with James- what time did Severus leave you alone?”

“I was less then half way Thur the book.. so a few hours.. I’m a slow reader..”

“that jackass.”

You didn’t disagree you figured he would come back. And be a grump but he didn’t. Getting into the great hall everyone was cheering and laughing feeling the heat you instantly realized how frozen you were. Remus lead you too his table as you sat down as he got you a butterbeer and took his jacket off and wrapped it around your shoulders. As he sat down looking at you. “Why didn’t you come inside sooner?”

“the book was soo good- I didn’t realize.. it’s I’m fine really!”

He reached over fixing his jacket too make sure it stayed on you as he shook his head, “your cold too the touch Y/n. You shouldn’t be alone so close too the forbidden forest.”

“I’m not a idiot Remus I had my wand.” He sighed heavily sitting down pinching his nose as you reached over grabbing some chocolate you turned too him giving him some as you spoke, ‘everything is better with a bit of chocolate it helps.’ He smiled weakly as you took some of your drink.

“you deserve better you know.”

That caught you off guard as you looked back at Remus it’s been a few minutes of you just sitting quietly eating everyone was giving you both distant as he ate as he spoke up. It startled you as you smiled, “what you mean?”

“Severus- you deserve better than that!”

“I’m not dating Severus- he’s took mixed up with Lily too notice anyone else but her.”

“I know- I watch you – watch him. While he watches Lily.”

Feeling your heart tense up he spoke up, “what’s your book about?”

Severus noticed you across the great hall bundled up you were off a bit from everyone as Remus was sitting close too you as you both ate and asked about something. Severus spent most of the feast looking over at Lily as she talked too James. And Sirius and Peter. He didn’t notice you until you laughed. It was loud as you covered your mouth quick as Remus laughed at your outburst as you both laughed. What is she doing? Severus thought he got up fast. Seeing you bundled up as he stormed over too you. Remus noticed him first as he spoke, “Oh Serveus hey.”

You turned seeing your best friend. Severus was stunned seeing you wearing two coats, wearing your fingerless gloves and a griffindor scarf. The scarf surprised him. It was a tradition for other houses too exchange scarfs with another person If they were courting so seeing you wearing Remus scarf he boiled up angry, “what is this?”

You finished your piece of roast beef that wa sin your mouth before you answered.

“Nothing were having dinner.”

Remus noticed Severus was staring at his scarf as he tried too calm the situation with the truth. “I found Y/N by the lake shivering like the whomping willow. She’s frozen- I offered my gear too warm up.”

Severus’s eyes narrowed at you as you nodded your head, “it’s true- I was waiting for you acturally..”

You were going too let it go- because you were so focused on your book that you barely noticed. But seeing Severus storming over here and being A Jerk for No reason. You decided too Not let him off the hook.

Severus stepped back stunned as he realized he promised too come back. He just stormed off and decided too study after seeing Lily was wrapped around James. He completely forgot about you. You looked at Severus. It was like a twig snapping. Looking up at Severus seeing him standin there. Your enchantment for him. Your crush. Was gone. He ruined it. He had so many chances too be with you and he just kept messing up. So you stood up holding Remus jacket tightly too yourself your body was still frozen the sip of buttterbeer hasn’t warmed you up yet.

“Remus is being kind and Great! What is your problem!”

“Y/N… I’m sorry I-“

“forgot about me again- you know what IM not okay with being forgotten or ingored! I deserve better Severus- No I demand Better because I’m a damn good friend!”

“I’m- I’m so sorry.. lets just eat dinner okay and- give back Remus scarf.” You looked down seeing the scarf the only warm thing on you was your neck. It clicked why he kept staring down at you. He was annoyed Remus lent you his scarf. You rolled your eyes. Boys are Idiots! You turned too Remus as you spoke, ‘thank you for coming for me and bringing me inside Remus. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He nodded his head as you gave him over his jacket and his scarf. You grabbed your drink getting up as he spoke, “I’ll see you tomorrow- Hey Y/N?”

“Yea?”

“Can I give this back too you soon?” You smiled brightly hearing that your cheeks blushed a deep Red Severus grabbed your arms pulling you away as you quickly pushed away from Severus, “I would love that. Do you want too study tomorrow?” He smiled nodding his head as you smiled saying great.

Severus tried pulling you away too go over too his table but you pushed away from h I’m. “I’m Going someplace you cant follow Severus!”

“where?”

“too my house! You’re a Massive Jerk- and Lil is over there!”

Storming off you wanted too be mad at Severus but your thoughts were only on Remus.

#fandom imagine #imagine #remus lupin #young remus imagine #halloween imagine #annual halloween imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine #remus lupin imagine

[cherryeol04]

Tomorrow, Today

Words: 3k

Summary: You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing with your life. Thankfully, your visited by an angel who helps guide you.

‘You keep pushing me while my eyes are half-covered’

You pulled the earbuds outs as the last Bell of first period rang and you were once more trapped in your study period. You always thought it was strange to have a study period in first period, but it seemed better than the alternative; science, history or worst of all, math. It was a period you could use to catch up on the homework you failed to do the night before and get in a little bit of studying before the quiz you would inevitably have in your third period. That teacher swears that she only gives pop quizzes. But there's nothing ‘pop’ about having a quiz daily at the beginning of the class and most of the material was stuff you hadn't covered yet. She was crazy and you were absolutely sure of it.

Your eyes moved to the front as the teacher stood from his desk. As he rose so did everyone else and you reluctantly joined. Running through the same mundane morning routine that just seemed to suck the life out of you, you were finally allowed to sit back down. With the instructions the same as always “study”, you plug your earbuds in and open up your chemistry textbook, your notebook open and posed, just ready to be written in. You were honestly thankful that music was allowed in the class because utter silence for nearly an hour would just drive you absolutely crazy.

Your fingers flew over the screen of your iPod, unlocking it and pulling up your music. You wanted to make sure it was on repeat of your new, current favorite song. It was by a group called JJ Project, aptly named for the two members that made up this group, Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebum. They had the singing voices of angels and their new single, Tomorrow, Today, was absolutely your favorite song. While many people could probably argue with you (and most likely would, knowing those crazy fans) that they had better songs, even in their fully formed group Got7, you have never heard a better song in your life. Mainly because the lyrics struck something deep within you. Feelings and confusion that you thought only you suffered from.

‘Somebody let me know, Tell me which way to go, Cuz I don’t, don’t, don’t know’

It was your senior year of high school. At the end of the year marked a big transition in your life. You were expected to go to college, find a major that would eventually lead you into your career. A career that would fully support you and whatever family you would have in the future. All the while, also having a social life to go and meet some nice boy and settle down with and eventually marry. Not to mention you were also expected to take care of your parents as they got older in life, since they spent 18 years of their life caring for you. At least you didn’t have siblings, but sometimes you wished you did. Maybe if you did, all the pressures of life wouldn’t be on your shoulders. You could share the responsibilities. Of course you would probably still be the first born and expected to care for them and be their role model. But maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad. At least you would have someone to talk to about your fears and worries in life.

Sure you had your parents, but would they really understand? Maybe, but as it was, they see life as a never ending routine. Wake up, study, pass exams, go to college, get a good career, make a lot of money, come home, eat and do it all over again. A never ending cycle like a robot. Up, work, down. Over and over like a mindless zombie and that was honestly a scary future to think about. You had your friends, and yes they were all going through the same things you were going through. Studying, exams, searching for colleges. But your friends somehow still bested you. Two of them were in the top 3% of the school with their scores. Your best friend having tested out of high school a year before due to her high scores on placement exams and was already in college. Another friend in your group could care less because in less than four months, she was going to be married to her high school sweetheart (who was three years older than her). He already had a secure job working with his father, but was going to school to get a degree and climb the corporate ladder. She needed to do absolutely nothing; her life was set.

And then there was you. You struggled day to day to finish your homework. Not because you had a tough life at home, or had to work after school. But because you hated school. You found it not only a waste of time but it was also very challenging for you. You never saw the need to be competitive and strive to be the best. You had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. Of course your parents knew what they wanted you to do with your life. But you wanted to make those choices, you didn’t want them to be made for you. And you didn’t want to make the choices that you thought were right, only to look back and wonder what your life would have been if you chose a different path. Would it be different? Was this the right choice? Should you go this way, or that way?

It was confusing and stress inducing. And the only solace you could seek was within your music. That’s why this song was so meaningful to you. It was like these people were in your head and could hear your struggle. Their song was about this, the struggle of choosing the right path in life without fear and regret that they chose the wrong way to go. So blind as to which was the right path for them, how could they make the right choice or answer the questions that life threw at them when they didn’t even know the answers themselves.

It was like your theme song; your life song. Tomorrow, Today. Where would you be tomorrow? How could you possibly know when you’re still living today? How could you possibly see into the future?

A heavy sigh left you as you laid your head down on the desk, eyes closing. You let your mind wander as you lost yourself in the song. Darkness surrounded you with a warm, welcoming embrace and you found yourself falling deeper and deeper into it. A gentle touch and a soft call of your name was pulling you from the embrace. You didn’t want to go, but the voice sounded so sweet, so soft, you couldn’t help but be curious as to who was calling you.

Your eyes opened slowly and they were flooded with light. But not the harsh light of the classroom you had been in. But a soft, natural light, which was strange to you. A soft groan left you as your eyes adjusted to the light for a moment, the large tree overhead finally taking shape and you wondered, where it came from. The sound of birds chirping also caught your attention and you were slowly becoming aware of the fact that you were outside. How and when did that happen? You were just in the classroom...weren’t you?

“Y/N.” You tilt your head back towards the voice and the face of the mysterious person suddenly comes into view. You have seen many handsome men before in your life, but none as handsome as this man. Such fair skin, amazing hair, gorgeous eyes and such plush lips. You swore you’ve seen him before, but you weren’t sure where. You also could swear that this was a dream, because honestly, how did you go from inside a classroom to outside under a tree? But that thought soon dissipated as the male smiled at you, his eyes crinkling as he did so and you thought it was honestly the cutest thing in the world. How could this man go from handsome to adorable in less than five seconds?

“Hey, are you awake? You went to sleep.” Sleep? Yeah, you remember going to sleep. Frowning, you stared at him for a moment before sitting up and looking around. It was an open grassy field with a beautiful view of the city out in the horizon. The sun was shining brightly above, making you feel nice and hot, but the occasional breeze came through to cool you off, making you feel warm and cozy. Turning your body, you realize your head been resting in his lap and judging from the items around you, he had been reading? Maybe this was some sort of picnic? There was a basket on the other side of him. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, worry suddenly etched on his face.

“I…” you trailed off, eyes once more taking in your surroundings, trying to make sense of all of this confusion. How? When? Where and why? Looking back at him, you let out a soft yet confused laugh. “This is going to sound crazy but I don’t know where I am. Or how I got here. Or who you are.” The words tumbled right out of your mouth and it was like a light bulb was turned on in his mind. There was this strange look of understanding that crossed his features and he nodded slowly. This had to be a dream then. How could someone just seem to know? How could this guy just be so alright with what you said? You assume that you know him and you’re at least friends with him, if not something more. So how could he just be cool with the weird words that just left you? It’s not like you got hit in the head and went unconscious and now you have amnesia. Right?

“I get it.” he said and stood. He carefully placed his book in the basket and picked it up before holding out his hand, smiling once more at you. “Come with me.” he said. You were a little hesitant at first, to just take the hand of this random stranger, who was still so calm and collected about this whole thing! “Y/N, trust me.” Oh yeah, like you were simply going to just trust someone who told you to trust them. But something inside you told you to take his hand. So you did. Grasping it tightly, he pulled you up and just as suddenly as you found yourself in that field with him, your surroundings changed once more. Gone was the sunshine, the cool breeze and beautiful horizon. It was gloomy, overcast and you were standing at the end of a road. Before you were two signs, both arrows to let drivers know they could either go left or right. Two signs, one choice. Which way to go?

“I don’t get it.” you found yourself saying as you turned to stare at the male to your left, but he wasn’t there. Confused, you turned quickly to your right and he wasn’t there either. You turned in a circle, searching for the man that just been there, had just held your hand. But he was nowhere to be seen. You felt fear and panic start to set in. You were in a strange place, alone, with no guide to tell you what to do or how to get back. “Oh my god.” you whispered, hands moving to run through your hair as you exhaled slowly. Your eyes moved back to the signs and you slowly walked towards them. Looking to the left, you saw nothing but an empty road. Looking to the right, you saw the same thing. Two different paths, two different ways to go.

“How do I know which way is the right way?”

“Follow your heart.”

It was a soft voice, but you knew you had heard it before. It sounded exactly like the man that had just been with you. Now he was telling you to follow your heart? Well it was a little hard to do that when your mind kept coming up with scenarios of the worst case situation if you picked the wrong direction. How could you possibly pick and not know about the other way? You felt a soft, warm touch to your shoulder, the same you felt right before you had woken up. It was comforting and it silenced your brain long enough for your heart to take the lead and make your choice. Turning to the right, you stared at the road and nodded. This was the right path.

This was your path. You began walking with more confidence than you had ever felt before in your life. For once, you didn't feel lost. You didn't feel like every choice you made in your life was a mistake. You didn't feel like others were pushing you to make this choice. You made it this time. And it's the choice you were so proud to make.

As you walked down the road the skies grew darker and darker, but not once did you falter in your belief that this was the right choice. You kept walking until all that was around you faded to black and you were once more wrapped in the warm embrace of darkness.

“Y/N!”

Jolting awake, you looked around quickly as your earbuds fell from your ears. You stared up at your friend, her worried eyes scanning your face. “Are you alright? We're gonna be late for art class.” she said

Sitting up slowly, you looked around the familiar classroom and let out a sigh. A dream. It really had been just a dream. “Y/N?”

“Ah yeah. Sorry.” You said quickly and scrambled to grab your stuff and pack it in your bag. Standing, you smiled at her, before covering your mouth to stifle the loud yawn that left you. “Let's go.”

“If you say so, sleeping beauty. Have any good dreams?” she asked as she walked out of class with you.

“I wouldn't call it a good dream. But it as a dream.” You said with a shrug.

“Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Ah...maybe later? I'm still trying to understand it myself.” You told her with a chuckle. You both made it to class with a few seconds to spare, the late bell ringing just as you both took your seat. After another mundane routine of greeting and instructions, you were left to work on your class project, a portrait of a person that you had yet to start because honestly, you had no idea who to draw. Until now.

Setting up the table easel, you attached the sketch paper and started working. Your hand moved effortlessly, sketching out each smooth and beautiful feature. Losing yourself in your sketch, you're just about done with it when you finally pull back to rest for a moment, your back screaming in relief.

“Wow! So that's who you've been drawing? That's the best sketch of Jinyoung I've ever seen.” your friend said in awe. Jinyoung? You sat there and looked at the sketch and you realized the male in your dream was indeed Jinyoung. This realization suddenly put the whole dream in perspective and you smiled to yourself.

“Follow your heart.” You whispered to yourself and grinned. That's exactly what you were going to do.

~*~Eight Months Later ~*~

For your graduation present, your parents got you tickets to a Got7 concert and a Got7 fanmeeting. They were so proud of you. You had turned around so quickly, getting better grades in school and you finally decided what you wanted to go to school for. While they weren't the biggest supports of an arts school, your national win in the art contest had all but proven to them your talent for drawing.

As you made your way down the table, getting your album signed by each member, you clutched tightly to your 1st place sketch of Jinyoung. It felt like forever and not that you weren't grateful to be able to see all the other members (Got7 was one of your favorite groups after all), you were dying to give this gift that the other members always eyed, wondering if it was theirs.

At last you reached Jinyoung and after the small greeting, you lifted up the drawing, pressed against a hard black cardboard back and laminated so nothing could ruin it. The 1st place ribbon was still attached to it and across the top read ‘Tomorrow, Today’. Jinyoung stared at it for a moment, marveling before accepting it with a gracious smile. Carefully he sat it next to him on the floor, leaning up against the chair so it wouldn't be trampled or stepped on.

“Thank you. It's beautiful.” he said. Simple words but they had you blushing. He would probably never understand how important that drawing was to you or the meaning behind it, but you did and knowing that he now had the source of your motivation and confidence, it made you happy. You were no longer lost and confused. You knew which path was yours and you were going to walk down it with your head held high and you were going to meet any forks in the road with confidence and follow your heart in making your decisions.

You watched as he leaned forward and uncapped his pen and started writing. You thought he was signing, but after a few seconds, his hands started making the large movements that signified his signature before he passed back the album. With a bow, you took it with a smile and started moving down to the last member. Looking down at the album, you read over the words careful.

‘Always follow your heart, Y/N. I'll always be rooting for you. Fighting~’

Brows furrowing, you quickly look back and stared at Jinyoung. He was looking back at you and gave a wink, which only added to the confusion you felt. It had all been a dream…

Right?

#fanfic #fanfiction #got7 #jinyoung #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #x reader #dream au #slice of life #tomorrow today #verse 2 #jj project #jjp

[haikyuu-imagines-and-others]

WHOOOP I HOPE IM NOT LATE I LOVE YALL SO MUCH. Kuroo, Daichi and Suga’s gf being one of their team’s managers at the training camp. All the managers decide to play a little fun game of volleyball. She comes out in really short shorts making everyone’s attention on her. What will the boys do? 😏 I hope this makes it in time this is one of the main blogs i scavenge for awesome fanfics and thank y’all for keeping the fandom alive. Hugs and kisses for all!!

Lol if it’s the managers playing a game, I’m sure they’d all be in short shorts xD But thank you so very much for the love!!! I’m trying really hard to keep the content as fresh and new as I can but lord does it take me a bit to get my thoughts together these days lol Thanks for the request!!! Hugs and kissies xoxoxox - Admin Satori

Kuroo Tetsurou:

It was really nice of the team’s coach, and sponsor, to have an extra room for you to stay in. You and the other managers of their team, that is. Usually, in these situations, anyone not on the team would have to find their own hotels to stay in… And more than likely, the one the team stayed in was always booked! But this year, finally, they’d thought ahead and considerately had booked an extra room for the female managers to join in the activities.

They were your team, too, after all. It was only fair you be near them during their training camps.

You remembered your boyfriend, Kuroo, had been adamant about sneaking you into his room - even though he’d be sharing it with his best friend, Bokuto. He even went so far as to try to get you to start yoga so you were ‘flexible enough to fit in the suit case’. Honestly, you were sure he’d just been trying to get you flexible for… other activities.

“You doing okay? You’re all red.”

A squeak of surprise escaped you, and you slapped your hands to your cheeks to cover the blush that had formed. You’d gone too far down the rabbit hole of memories of the bedroom with your boyfriend…. And actually forgot where you were! Kaori smirked knowingly, “I-I’m fine!” You stammered out, quickly looking away when she only continued to smirk. “S-shut up and serve the damn ball!”

It’d been a boring night in. The boys, coaches and sponsors included, had went out to dinner to celebrate a good training session. Both Kuroo and Bokuto had invited you… but you’d decided it’d be frowned upon since the coach hadn’t invited you… so you’d stayed with the other female managers.

Which prompted a fun game between the 4 of you. So many managers for a single team, but it made sense when taking into account the different school schedules and whatnot. You could only work every other day for the team, while Kaori could only do weekends and extended trips, Kiyoko only worked weekdays, and Yukie could work every day…. But it took more than one manager to handle this… rambunctious team.

You and Kuroo were nearing your last semesters at Tokyo University! Almost done with your degree, and he with his! Everyday spent on the team now was humbling.. Because you knew the future contained bigger and better things for you and your love.

“Got it!” You called out, rushing forward and bumping the ball into the air, high enough for Kaori to tip it over the net. She landed with a happy cheer as the ball bounced just before Yukie could get to it. “Nice one!” You smiled widely, moving to get back into ‘position’ on your part of the halved court. The game continued, your side scoring, their side scoring… Neck and neck before a quick water break was called for.

Standing by the bench, you happily sipped from your bottle of water, listening to Kaori talk about how she’d have to slave away at homework when the four of you returned to the room. You were about to respond to her, offer to help her study if she needed it, when you felt a sharp pinch on the back of your thigh.

Reflexively, you went to kick at whoever had touched you so inappropriately! It couldn’t have been one of the girls, they’d never be so invasive, so it’d have to have been some kind of stranger who wandered into the gym!

Your foot got caught though, their hand holding it tight and forcing you to balance on your foot. You turned to curse at them, tell them to let you go, verbally defend yourself…. When you suddenly realized why Kaori hadn’t jumped to help.

“Oho~ So quick to fight…. Feisty.” His lazy smirk curled his lips, and had you letting out a heavy sigh of playful irritation, “I couldn’t help myself, ______, you just looked ripe for pinching…. A little goose didn’t hurt you, did it?” You knew he wasn’t really asking. He’d pinched you much harder in a different situation.

“I thought you were at dinner.” You tugged at your foot in his hand, but his grip held fast. You weren’t going anywhere any time soon. “Tetsu…” You warned, feeling your heart pick up the pace when his other hand rested on your calve, slowly moving upwards and stroking the smooth, freshly shaven, skin of your thigh. Goosebumps threatened to show themselves at his gentle touch.

“Ah, we left early. It was kinda boring.” Bokuto called from the bench behind you. He’d been talking to Kaori while you and Kuroo had your little showdown, “Daichi didn’t like that very much….”

Kuroo hummed in agreement, fingers pressing into the side of your thigh, a light grip. You tugged at your trapped foot once more, making his smirk twitch in amusement. “Ah well, I don’t think Daichi likes a lot of things…. Like when I take my timeouts to just come appreciate my girlfriend.” Your lips screwed to one side, struggling to hide your anticipatory smile at his words, his actions… He liked what he saw, and what he felt. “Ooooor when I leave from the room to sneak into-“

You kicked your leg roughly, stopping him from continuing since your foot landed square on his sternum and forced him to fall backwards. He stared up at you with surprised shock, he hadn’t thought he’d given you enough room to be able to kick him down. Your stern look had him laughing quietly, “Get rekt, Tetsurou.” Bokuto laughed, this time from across the gym - he hadn’t waited for Kuroo to finish what he’d been saying about Daichi, and instead had taken your place in the game with the managers.

“You’re impossible.” You muttered with a fond smile, offering your hand down for him to take, so you could help him up and dust him off. His hand found yours, long fingers wrapping around your hand in a tight, but gentle, grip. You went to help him to his feet only to find you were quickly being pulled down. You stumbled, “Tetsu!” He laughed as you landed on him on the ground, his arms wrapped around you tightly so you couldn’t escape as quickly as you wanted to. “The floor is so dirty, what the hell.” You whined loudly, like a child, moving so your hands were pressed against his chest so you could push off of him. But he held you tighter, your hands now trapped between yours and his chest.

Face to face now, you pursed your lips in playful irritation, “Come here often?” He smirked up at you, “You know, I’m actually staying in a hotel nearby… Nice place… Good mattress… Roomy showers…. Not to mention… Your shorts do feel a bit… short and tight.” His voice trailed off, and you let out a heavy sigh before resting your forehead on his chest with your eyes closed, knowing he wasn’t finished yet. “You and I could… Ya know….”

You lifted your head, raising an eyebrow at him, “Could eat in the lobby as a mismatched couple?”

Kuroo’s smirk broke into a joyful smile before he was tilting his head and pressing a kiss between your eyebrows, “You read my mind, kitten.”

Sawamura Daichi:

Why did you feel the prickle of nerves in your stomach? It’s not like you were doing anything wrong… You were playing a game of volleyball with your fellow managers! Nothing bad there!

Yet you felt… Cheeky as you jumped around, spiking the ball or tipping it over the edge. You couldn’t wipe the smirk from your face and had to continuously assure your fellow managers that you weren’t trying to bait them into a competitive game.

You were just feeling good today!

Or at least this evening.

You’d treated yourself to a good meal earlier, you’d taken your time in the shower, you’d relaxed for a good hour or two before deciding you wanted to be active! It was when you’d found only your… short shorts…. That you’d realized you hadn’t really packed anything to be active!

But what was the harm in wearing the short shorts? You leaned down, hands on your knees, crouching as you watched the three on the other side of the net tossing the ball between each other. They were planning something, and you were watching intently.

Being a senior in college, it gave you the ability to sense bs from the younger student. You were able to see what they were planning just by their sidelong glances. A long play? Or a tip over the net?

Then they were moving, quickly. And you had to jump backwards to try to keep up with them as the ball was tossed high, one of them jumping higher than they ever had and hitting the ball from its underside. Making it go flying across the court.

But you were feeling competitive! You were feeling like you were a hot shot in a real game, and you weren’t about to let this ball touch the ground!

You never made it to the ball in time. In fact, you’d been interrupted in your run to the ball. Strong arms had wrapped around your middle and held you back just as you were about to go sliding across the floor to save the ball. But instead, you were halted, and forced to watch as the ball bounced against the polished gym floor before it rolled to rest against the wall.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, _______.”

Deflated. That’s how you felt. Deflated and ashamed…. Only to quickly feel irritation in your chest blooming furiously as you pushed out of his arms, “What the hell, Daichi! I had that!” You wanted him to know just how excited you’d been, how in your own mood you’d been, and how rude he was to have robbed that moment from you. “I was gonna save the ball! What? Just because you aren’t playing, I can’t play either?”

His brown eyes hardened, warning you of being so rude to him. He’d saved you. Completely. “_______, there’s no need to be mean.” His voice was calm, and you felt irritated he’d pull on his ‘dad’ pants to talk to you. As if you were some tantrum throwing child. “You don’t have kneepads on.”

Well, duh.. You knew that. All the actual supplies were locked up because the coaches didn’t want anyone getting into them while they weren’t here. You didn’t have any kneepads or elbow pads, but then he only wore his kneepads for official matches! You couldn’t count how many times you’d had to play nurse for him because he’d be too in his own head to realize he wasn’t wearing kneepads.

This time he raised an eyebrow at your dumbfounded expression, he could read the ‘duh’ on your face and found it kind of…. funny. He chuckled, the initial insult he’d taken from your reflexed attack passing as he realized you’d quite literally followed in his steps.

“______…. Look down…” You rolled your eyes before looking down at your shoes. They looked scuffed, you’d have to buy new ones soon… “What don’t you see?”

“Look, Dai, I don’t have time for this. I was playing a game!” You huffed, clearly irritated with his parenting your every move. You were his girlfriend! Not his child!

Daichi smiled patiently, “No, no. Wait a second.” His arms tightened around your middle as you struggled to leave his hold. He’d feel horrible if you continued to think you were a pro and hurt yourself because he couldn’t get you to see exactly what was wrong with what you’d been about to do. “What happens when I slide without my kneepads? You get mad at me for doing that, right?”

You let out a loud sigh, “Yes, you get so in your head about what you need to do, you forget to take care of yourself first! What about it? Did you skin your knee again during practice today?” You rested your hands on his crossed forearms under your ribcage, figuring you’re going to be trapped in his arms for the long haul if he was just bringing up constant nurse memories.

He laughed. He laughed a short, bark of a laugh at your question, “Well yes, I forgot that today… But that’s not the point.” He quickly covered, clearing his throat to cover the clear embarrassment at his admittance. He’d tried to take care of his skinned knees on his own, but your nursing methods sure did feel better when you were the one helping him. “_______, are you wearing kneepads?”

“No? The supply closet is locked up! How in the hell would I have kneepads?”

“And what were you about to do?”

Another loud sigh, another rolling of your eyes, “Save the ball! Duh- Oh.. Wait…” The realization slapped you across the face.

He’d actually saved you.

You looked down at your legs once more to see, indeed, you weren’t wearing any kneepads. Not even one. Then you looked at the polished floor of the gym - the wooden tiles still presenting the danger of irritatingly rubbed skin…. You would have definitely been hurting afterwards if you’d been allowed to save the ball. It’d been too low for you to just bump it while standing… and you’d wanted to look cool… so you would have.. definitely…..

Covering your face in your hands, you let out a low whine of embarrassment, of shame. He’d saved you and you’d gotten mad. “Dai….”

Daichi lowered you easily, you were thinking sensibly again, but he didn’t say anything. Just letting you marinate in your shame for how you’d reacted to him.

“Dai…..” You tried again, your voice wobbling the longer you sat in your own guilt. Stomaching your nerves, you turned so you could face him…. But you didn’t lift your head to meet his gaze.

You wondered if he’d be mad? Or maybe he’d just leave you? What if he did? Your heart dropped to your stomach. No way… he wouldn’t leave you over something like this, would he? You’d never gotten angry with him before! Playful arguments here and there, sometimes he’d be irritated from the trials of the day and bring it home with him…. And you’d do the same some days… But arguing? Never! You’d never gotten angry with him…

The sound of rustling clothing brought you out of your downward spiral, and you looked at your very thoughtful boyfriend to see he was stepping out of his track pants. Thankfully, he was wearing his practice shorts underneath, but still… The front row view of his undressing had your cheeks flaring with embarrassment. “W-Wha-What are you doing? Stop!” You reached forward, trying to grab the hem of his pants to pull them back up for him but you were too late. He’d taken them off.

And now presented them to you.

“Wha….?”

“There’s a drawstring in the front, and on each ankle…” He showcased the drawstrings tucked in their little pockets, “If you tighten this around you, and make sure it fits,” He gave you a pointed stare, making you look away almost immediately, “Then you can get back in the game and save all the plays you can…”

You bit your bottom lip… Not feeling like you should take his offer.. You wanted to just spend the rest of your evening with him in the hotel, maybe go swimming in the hotel pool or go out on the town with him…. But he was still offering the pants to you.

“Thank you…” You mumbled, taking the pants from his hand and pulling them on. Doing as he’d said and tightening the drawstring around your waist, letting out a yelp of surprise when you felt his hands on your right leg - one cupping your calve while the other easily tightened the drawstring by your ankle.

“Also…” He looked up from where he crouched before you, both of his hands on the outside of your thighs now, just below where your shorts ended beyond his track pants now. His fingers curled around your thighs, gripping them lightly and making you shiver with your blush making another violent appearance on your face, “This way, I can keep all this beautiful skin of yours safe from anyone else’s eyes.” Daichi winked up at you, his lips curling into a playful smile.

Sugawara Koushi:

You hadn’t realized how kind of boring these training camps were… Obviously, they weren’t focused on the managers, of which you were, so they weren’t directed towards your likes. But your boyfriend, Suga, seemed to be having as much fun as he always did with his friends!

And you guessed that’s where you could be placated. If he was having fun and enjoying the company around him… then you could happily go on about your boring day…

Only now he wasn’t around, and you were bored. So very bored. The hotel was nice, the pool was cool…. But you felt like being active! You wanted to go out there and jump around!

That’s where the idea of a fun game of volleyball came from. Your boredom talking for you. And thankfully, the other managers were on the same level of antsy pants to join your offered game!

“Ohhh~ Where did you get those? They’re so cute!”

You looked down at your shorts, smiling proudly as you responded, “The shop by the university gym! It’s got so many colors and the material is super stretchy, too.” You demonstrated by pulling at the hem of the thigh, showing how it molded around your added fingers or stretched accordingly as you pulled it away from you.

That’s all that had been mentioned of your shorts, and yet you felt high and alert from the attention it’d gotten you! Confident! You felt confident in your movement and your body as you played volleyball with your friends!

In high school, you’d been on the volleyball team! That’s how you’d met Suga. The two teams, boys and girls, had met up for a practice match - co-ed - and you’d been graced with Suga as your teams setter since yours was out sick that day. First year you had been…. Floored by his appearance, and flustered by how sweet he was. You didn’t know if you’d fallen for him that day or the years following as the two of you grew closer as friends before eventually becoming an item.

From that first day, you’d always tried to practice with him and his team - to be closer to him more than anything.. but also because the boys team held so much more competitiveness with each other! Especially during your third year when the dynamic duo first years would pop off every moment they saw each other!

There was no competitiveness here, though, just a fun filled game of tossing the ball back and forth - whoever dropped it first owed the others a pork bun.. Nothing serious since the city you were all in for the summer camp had particularly inexpensive snacks! You were in the lead, though! But the girls didn’t want to have to keep track of how many they owed you, so instead they’d just give you the amount owed.

So many pork buns. Your stomach rumbled in anticipation!

The ball suddenly went flying over your head, “I’ll get it!” You called, trotting casually after the ball as it bounced by the gym entrance.

“__-_____?”

You suddenly stood straight from your bending position, the ball held tightly in your hands, feeling a gasp scraping against your throat at it’s sudden appearance. “K-Koushi?” You let out a heavy breath, resting a hand on your heart to show he’d startled you, “Don’t do that! My heart can’t take the surprises of an angel!”

Suga’s smile was soft, but there was a curiosity to his gaze. He stood on the gym steps, having heard the calling of voices from within and picking yours out from the crowd. His hand on the rail, one foot on the step in front of him, you’d surprised him as much as he’d surprised you. “An angel, huh?” He chuckled quietly, “Practice match?” He asked, glancing behind you to see the girls hadn’t actually waited for you upon seeing Suga taking up your attention.

Raising the ball in your hand, you smiled, “Yup. Got bored in the hotel… “ You smiled sheepishly, not wanting him to think you regretted coming on this training trip with him. It had been optional… But you’d taken it thinking you’d have more time with your boyfriend in a paid for room… when really, you only saw him during practice. “How was dinner?” You asked, not wanting an award lull to take its place between you two.

Another smile, though this one held a bit of secret to it, “Got bored.” He copied your response, and you let out a huff of a laugh, fingers delving into the grooves of the ball - why did it feel like you were nervous around him? Were you still feeling the same schoolgirl crush flutters around the young man you’d been dating for 2 years now?

Didn’t that mean the love was still strong between you? And he seemed to be enjoying your little chat… Was he feeling the same fluttering?

You glanced behind you, seeing the girls had continued playing, having found another ball in the opened closet.. You tossed the ball in their general direction before stepping out onto the top step of the stairs, just one above where he’d been about to go. His brown eyes watched you closely, and while his expression remained sweet and tender, you knew his eyes were taking in every single aspect of your movements. Like a hawk watching its prey.

“So you came by to…. Play a game?” The slight tilt of your head didn’t go unnoticed by him; Were you playing the same game he was? Or were you just feigning innocent? Or maybe you actually hadn’t realized the game he’d started up with you the moment he’d seen you pick up the ball?

Suga smiled still, gentle and easy, no sign of mischievousness at all, “Play a game…” He echoed, a slight hum to his voice. “Maybe.” The softness of his voice had you on edge, but you continued to push, stepping closer to the ledge of the step, within arms reach of him now.

He took the offer almost immediately, his hand reaching out, fingers outstretched and making contact with the smooth material of your shorts. “What game exactly, Koushi?” You knew he loved when you called his name, even in the most casual sense… It made him feel loved and like he belonged. Like he was needed and wanted. And he was.

Fingers found their way under the thigh of your shorts, pulling the material.. his eyes on the stretch of it. “This is really high quality material…” He noted, mostly to himself, and you smiled proudly as he let the fabric snap back into place. It wasn’t plastic elastic so it didn’t sting in the least.

“Koushi…” You called his attention, feeling a thrill shoot through you when his eyes looked up at you from under his lashes. He was still a step below you, and you bit the inside of your cheek at how…. Smoldering he could be even from this angle. A true master at his appearance’s influence on you, he smiled softly when you raised your eyebrows at him; he hadn’t answered your question.

“I did say maybe, ______.” He pointed out easily, the gentle amusement in his voice only being prompted by the playful roll of your eyes.

Humming in thought, you felt the rumble of your stomach interrupt your interpretation of his words and actions, “Well!” You started with a bright smile, hopping down the steps quickly before standing at the base of them - two below him now. You put your hands on your hips with a proud smile on your face, “I haven’t eaten dinner and I’m starving!” You pulled the collar of your shirt back, seeing the gathered money in your sports bra. Great shorts… still no pockets. “AND,” You added with extra emphasis, “I was owed pork buns for all my won games, so I’m going to go feed myself….”

You’d started walking away before he could get a word in, his eyes watching your enthusiastic display of pride. He simply turned towards you as you walked a couple feet away from him, about to call out to you before you looked over your shoulder at him.

“Koushi, are you coming?”

His smile was breathtaking, and he nodded quickly before hopping to the base of the stairs and quickly catching up to you. Suga immediately took your hand in his, lacing your fingers with his own and bringing your hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of your hand. Smooth and swift, you could only smile brightly in response.

What he asked next though, had you stopping in your tracks with a confused expression adorning your face.

“Those don’t chafe, do they?” He stopped beside you, your joined hands moving so he could tug at the stretchy material once more.

You cleared your throat with pursed lips, trying to think back to the tags on the shorts and if they’d warned anything about chafing or the like. In fact, you didn’t even know what kind of wash cycle they required… “Uh…. I don’t think so?…..” You looked down at your legs, moving them to spread a bit apart under you, not seeing any kind of irritation from your vantage point before looking back up at Suga with even more confusion, “Wait… Why?”

A smirk. A beautifully innocent smirk curled his lips as he leaned down and whispered, “Just wondering if I’ll be giving more kisses down there tonight to take away the pain.”

A/N: Reminder!!! All requests going forward from like…. December…. Are all based in college+ AU. I’m a legal adult, and don’t find high school boys ….. legally attractive lmao

#Admin Satori #Haikyuu!! #Haikyuu!! Scenario #Kuroo Tetsurou #Sawamura Daichi #Sugawara Koushi #All pieces are now College AU or higher #no more high school stuff #which isn't too hard bc college is like high school just a bit harder and a different schedule :P

[omgficrecsplease]

omgcp fanfic starter pack!

hi y’all! we here at omgficrecsplease have put together a quick, little check please! fanfic starter pack! all fics are sorted by pairings and we hope you enjoy! and be sure to check out all the recs we have posted here! have a wonderful day y’all! :D

Jack/Bitty

A Little Bit Closer by marswithghosts

E | 107,963 | Summary: Eric Bittle's To-Do List:

1.) Frame Masters in Library and Information Science diploma and send to Mama, because she never understood the lack of sleep and abuse of caffeine, but she sent cookbooks and money for good chocolate, bless her. 2.) Throw away every last highlighted article, graded paper, and syllabus, because they are no longer needed, thank the sweet Lord. 3.) Promote the library's new periodic reading series, because it wasn't the capstone project for nothing. 4.) Harass Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann into taking a picture for @BPLWestEnd to promote the reading of his new children's book, Jacky's Bad Days. 5.) Do not ogle Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann's ass. 6.) Fail step five. Repeatedly.

Ice Crew Please! by rosepetals42  

T | 61,433 | Summary: Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

maybe i'm waking up by idrilka

M | 157,904 | Summary: It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.

(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.)

self reflection by sinspiration

T | 29,218 | Summary: Bitty is in Annie’s, bent over his textbooks and wondering, not for the first time, why he decided to take French as a language (oh yes, it’s because so many old recipes are written in French, he’s going abroad there to study food history, can’t wait for the summer; half of fall and then winter semester until he goes, but that doesn’t help him now does it), when he hears someone clear their throat. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” Oh boy. Eric doesn’t even bother lifting up his head. “Sorry, not a girl and not interested.”

Something Like This by emmagrant01

E | 285,748 | Summary: Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)

Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

Nursey/Dex

a service i can render by miastree

T | 73,484 | Summary: (11:48) Hey Bits are you free on Saturday? I want to go and see a movie or something (12:09) damn right im free (12:09) this is america

Dex wonders if the person that keeps ceaselessly texting him at all hours is at all interested in legitimate conversation or if his life is, genuinely, that boring. He keeps replying anyway, because for some reason, the appeal of a clumsy, nosy, ex-hockey-playing ballet dancer that types in all lower case happens to be greater than he first thought.

Standing right outside my door by eleanor_lavish 

M | 5,594 | Summary: “I’ve been doing holidays alone for years, bro. I mean, I spent more holidays at Andover than in New York.”

Dex’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He kind of really hates Nursey’s parents right now, even though he’s never met them. He wants to yell at Nursey about this ridiculous chill he has going on, about how it’s fucked up, ask how he’s not just pissed off all the fucking time, but he looks over and Nursey’s eyes are still closed, and he’s curled in on himself in the seat. “Yeah, well. Not this year,” he says firmly.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by sysrae

E | 19,322 | Summary:  “I need you,” says Dex, “to be my fake date at my family Christmas. Please.”

“Cool,” says Nursey, mouth operating on Chill Autopilot while his higher brain functions come to a screeching halt. “I can do that.”

Bitty/Jack/Kent

touchy subject by applecrumbledore 

E | 49,578 | Summary: Bitty finds a photo booth strip and almost doesn't recognize Jack because he's not sure he's ever seen him grin off-ice before, and his hair is so long it curls around his ears, and he's so, so young. It takes Bitty a few long seconds to realize the boy he's kissing is Kent Parson, with the same backwards cap and everything.

I Watched It Begin Again by jacksbits (fragilehuge)

E | 19,979 | Summary: Kent hits on a stranger at a party. Except the party is at Jack’s house and the stranger is Bitty. It’s not Kent’s smoothest move.

Infinity, Plus One by SummerFrost

E | 75,577 | Summary:  Eric Bittle hoped to find a lot of things at Samwell University, but being caught in the cross-fire between his surly captain, Jack Zimmermann, and his friendly-but-moody alternate captain, Kent Parson, was certainly not one of them.

Ransom/Holster

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships by EllyAvon

T | 6,079 | Summary: HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life.

OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever.

OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame by sunfair

E | 4,853 | Summary: Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

someone as good for me as you by astrolesbian

T | 7,056 | Summary: “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?”

“What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms.

His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

Shitty/Lardo

Exeunt, Pursued By Heteronormativity by psocoptera

M | 35,786 | Summary: Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.

Jack/Kent

It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken by garden of succulents (staranise)

E |  33,373 | Summary: Making it through the draft is just the beginning.

Kent and Jack are on different teams at opposite ends of the continent. They're living up to huge expectations. They're not supposed to show pain. And not everything they do to get by is precisely healthy.

Fortunately, they're not totally alone.

right on time by leetlebird

T | 49,428 | Summary: Eric Bittle doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to dating, but even he’s embarrassed for himself when he starts flirting on Tinder with a guy who has a weird cat obsession, abs so perfect they border on trashy, and DL in his profile.

Eric Bittle also hates the office finance guy, Kent Parson, more than is probably healthy to hate one of your coworkers.

These two things are in no way related.

Or, the You’ve Got Mail AU that had to be written.

didn't ask for you by Mizzy

M | 24,702 | Summary: Kent Parson has well over ninety-nine problems. He has a chronic potty mouth, a sneaking suspicion he may be an actual idiot, a narcissistically-named cat with gas issues, too many sisters... the list goes on.

Kent Parson has more than ninety-nine problems and Jack Zimmermann — freshly, resentfully and recently traded to the Las Vegas Aces — is definitely one of them.

Gen

Chime Hours by MarquisdeHockey (SpacePunkStevie) (note: it’s tagged for ships but it’s firmly gen)

M | 54,811 | Summary: Back in Montreal, not long before the draft, Jack had died. But only for a bit.

The witch he'd met there had very kindly saved his life, so he was inclined to forgive him any small oversight. For instance, the lack of instruction manual or, perhaps, the fact that he'd neglected to mention Jack's new psychic powers.

So he kept his head down. Played hockey. Tried to navigate old friends and new teammates. And, occasionally, he'd have to go and stop a death he'd seen coming like he was some sort of conscientious banshee. What he absolutely didn't want to do was to solve any mysteries or delve any deeper into the whole magic... thing.

Series

Best Laid Plans by Euphorion

E | 18,596 | Summary: "Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together."

"This isn't a romcom, Holtzy," Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind."

"Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

#omgcp fic rec #check please fic rec #fic list: starter pack #mod danielle #obvs this is by no means comprehensive but we hope you all will like it!

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

I Know It Hurts But Its Going To Get Better...I promise!

Part 8 of Life Before Him

Ive been so caught up with work that I haven't gotten round to posting but here we go!! finally!! the next part!! I love reading all of your comments, reading how people reacted and felt whilst reading my stories it makes it all worth while! <3 

CATCH UP!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

 MASTERLIST! 

Pairing: Liam x Riley 

Summary: …Riley isn’t sure how to cope with all of the emotions of the past events.

Word Count: 3067

Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @drakelover78 @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879  @kawairinrin @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56 @gardeningourmet @blackcatkita @syltti78 @decisso @theroyalweisme @hhiggs @mfackenthal @bruteforcebears @pens-girl-87 @speedyoperarascalparty  @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid​ @darley1101​ @crookedslimecreatorpasta​ @jamjar84​ 

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE! (USED THE TAGS FROM MY “ALWAYS” SERIES LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE WANTS UNTAGGED!!!)

  I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance! 

Some of the Script has been taken from the choices trr Book for flashback purposes!

 It was just a few days later that Riley was released from the hospital, the doctors gave her permission to go back to the palace, however she had to check in with them every few days so that they could keep an eye on her head and track her amnesia. No one was allowed in her room except him and the doctors.

Liam and Riley sat in the back of the car whilst Bastian drove, Riley, sat staring out of the window she hadn’t spoken a word since leaving the hospital. Liam watched her the whole time, never taking his eyes off her.

“your staring” she whispered

“I’m sorry” he flustered “I’m just worried about you”

“I’m okay” she stated bluntly

“Riley…”

“I’m fine Liam” she barked

“alright…I’ll take your word, shall I?” he sighed

“I’m sorry…” she whispered as she laced her fingers with his “I shouldn’t take that tone…I know it’s because you care” she added

The car arrived at the Palace just thirty minutes after leaving the hospital. Riley and Liam headed inside. Riley looked around as if it was the first time she was seeing the place, in her mind the last time she was there was the coronation.

“everyone looks so happy” she whispered

“because they are…they’re happy your home” he smiled as he squeezed her hand.

“everyone has missed you” he added

“Liam…do I stay with you? now that we’re…engaged?” she asked once they were out of view from everyone, they walked up the stairs heading down to their quarters.

“yes, you do, we have our own suite, like an apartment, a very big apartment” he smiled

“we live together?” she giggled

“yes” he smirked “we very much live together”

“that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day” she whispered with a smirk. Liam and Riley headed into their quarters, Riley's smile reached from ear to ear as she looked around the suite.

“it’s gorgeous…why on earth have I been wasting away in the room down the hall when this place is here? You’ve been holding out on me!” she giggled

“many nights I wanted to bring you here and just hold you” Liam stated as he took his coat off in the sitting room, whilst Riley was in the bedroom looking around.

“just hold me?” a smirk found itself on her face “you sure that’s all your wanted to do your Majesty?”

“Riley!” Liam laughed

“what?” she chuckled as she walked back into the sitting room.

“could you show me where my clothes are…I-I would like to change out of these” she asked him softly

“of course,” he replied as he took Riley's hand and showed her back into the bedroom, he walked her over to the closet then opened the double doors. Riley's eyes widened as she seen the size of it, it was bigger than her old apartment back home.

“th-this is all mine?” she asked

“yes, since becoming a duchess and the queen in waiting, you’ve gained quiet the wardrobe” he smiled as he walked in with Riley by his side.

“you see this one, this is the dress you wore in New York…when we got engaged” he squeezed her hand.

“it’s gorgeous”

“I know, that’s what I told you when I seen you wearing it” he chuckled

“Liam…” she sighed happily

Many Weeks went by and Riley's memory hadn’t progressed at all. She tried to remember, she tried as hard as she should, she asked questions, she had Liam and her friends tell her about what had happened in the time between her last memory and what happened in the lot. She wanted to hear every story, everything about the things they had all done together: Finding Tariq, their trip to Coney Island…Liam's proposal…she wanted to know everything.

Riley hadn’t slept properly in weeks, most nights she lay awake, with Liam's arms wrapped around her waist. Liam would lay whispering sweet nothings in her ear whilst linking his fingers with hers. Liam had spent the last few weeks searching for rileys parents whereabouts, it was as if they had disappeared off the face of the earth.

It was about six weeks after the incident that changed everything. It was late in the afternoon, Riley was in their quarters after spending the day with Hana and Maxwell. She had been feeling off all day…nauseous, her head was pounding so she had retired from their outing earlier than she had planned. once she got back she changed into some comfier clothes then she perched herself on the sofa with a blanket and turned the tv on. She watched television for a short twenty minutes before she found herself dozing off. It was just a few hours later that she awoke abruptly, she felt like someone had set her on fire, her temperature was sky high, she jumped from the seat and took off to the bathroom, as soon as she reached the toilet she fell to her knees crying as she violently chucked up her insides. Her breathing hitched as she cried. What was happening to her. Her felt sharp pains shooting in her head. her heart was beating a million miles an hour, with her breathing speeding up. it was then that it started…the flashbacks…they felt so real…as if they were happening all over again…

Making her way downstairs Riley sang to herself. “Mommy?!” she called as she walked into the living room…nothing…Riley smiled as she heard a clanging from the kitchen “Mommy!?” she called ecstatically as she headed to the kitchen, she sniffled seeing no one there, just the cat jumping from the counter and pan lying on the floor…where were her mommy and daddy? Her sister? She walked through the living room to the front door, she reached up on her tiptoes pulling the handle down on the door, she opened it stepping out onto the front steps…the car was gone. the next day Riley spent the day waiting…watching from the front step…hours went by and no one came…every car that past she watched like a hawk just in case it was her family. They wouldn’t leave her…would they? How could they? they loved her…didn’t they? How could they just abandon her?

It was like her heart was breaking all over again…like they left her all again….it was like she was reliving them…she could feel the pain…the emotion, everything she had felt back then…she could feel it again…her hands shook as the tears feel…she wasn’t sure what she was feeling…there were so many emotions going through her body, she was hurt…she was scared as it all came flooding back…her parents leaving, basically being homeless. Just seconds later it started again

There Riley stood in front of the grey door in the block of apartments…she took a deep breathe then knocked on the door…just moments later she was met with a face she never thought she would see again…Tariq!

Tariq took a moment to steady himself on the podium as hundreds of paparazzi aimed their cameras at him.

“I am here to make a statement regarding the photos of myself and Lady Riley…it was a misunderstanding that led me to her room that night, mistaking it for my own. The photos that were taken of us reveal only this: a breach of privacy that I alone was responsible for, and an arrogant and unwanted advance on my part.”

“We did it!” Riley whispered through her tears.

“IM KING OF THE WORLD!!!!” Liam shouted at the top of his lungs at the top of the Ferris wheel.

As Liam turned to look at Riley, he gently took her hand. “do you remember the coronation?”

“how could I forget”

“I was going to propose to you that night…in front of the entire court, not doing so will remain the deepest regret of my life.” Liam gently brushed a strand of hair from Riley's head as a soft smile finds itself making its way onto his face. “still perhaps its destiny that it happened this way, that you broke free of the conspiracy against you just as we returned to New York…as we came full circle” Liam turned to face the statue of liberty and gently pats his leg a few times, Riley quickly followed Liam's gaze to find herself looking at one corner of the base, beyond which you can only see darkness. “here, Bash!” he called. Riley furrowed her brows not knowing what was going on, why was Bash there? Bash emerged from behind the corner and begins trotting towards the couple. “I hope you don’t mind, my borrowing him tonight” as Bash approached the two Riley spotted something attached to his collar.

“Liam, what’s going on? What is that?” she asked curious

“you’ll see in just a moment” Liam smirked as he removed the object from Bash’s collar then he turned to Riley.                                                                  

“Riley, you’ve opened my eyes, it has been a true honour to witness your strength in the face of every challenge you have overcome. It’s a strength that lends me courage. I know that I will be a better man for having you by my side. All I want in this world is to dedicate my life in being the best man and king that I can be…for you.” Liam fell to one knee, his eyes locked on Riley's, with passion in his eyes, he reached out and took her hand in his.

“Lady Riley Brookes, Queen of my heart, I have yearned to say these four words for a very, very long time…”

“Liam…” she whispered

“Riley, will you marry me?” he smiled

Riley's heart was going a million miles an hour as she relived the moment she and Liam finally got engaged, she cried and cried as she felt the love all over again.

“we left because we couldn’t afford to support both of you!!” Riley was taken back by her mother’s statement.

“Bullshit! Absolute bullshit!! You could afford to have nice cars…a big house…you gave Lulu everything she ever wanted! SO, DON’T YOU DARE COME INTO OUR HOME…AND TRY AND FEED ME THAT BULLSHIT!! IF YOU COULDN’T AFFORD TWO CHILDREN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TWO CHILDREN!!! WE HAD THE BIGGEST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK…WE HAD MORE CARS THAN WE WOULD EVER NEED…WE HAD A MAID FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!” Riley shouted as she got closer and closer to the woman.

“Riley-”

“NO! IM NOT FINISHED, YOU WERE MY PARENTS…YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR ME…TAKE CARE OF ME…I HAD NO ONE! I SPENT YEARS EATING SCRAPS FROM THE GARBAGE BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING!! I WAS FUCKIN TEN! I WOKE UP THAT MORNING AND LOOKED FOR YOU…I LOOKED FOR BOTH OF YOU!” Riley turned her attention to the 50-year-old well-dressed man “I DON’T KNOW WHY YOUR SITTING THERE…YOU’RE AS MUCH TO BLAME AS SHE IS! BOTH OF YOU HAD A RESPOSIBILITY AS PARENTS TO CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN, THE SECOND YOU LAID DOWN TOGETHER AND HAD ANOTHER CHILD…THAT CHILD WAS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!”

“Riley please don’t shout at me like that, I’m your mother, I’m sorry riley” the woman apologised

“FUCK YOUR APOLOGIES, MAYBE YOU CAN SIGN MY THERAPISTS BILL WITH IT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT IT! MOTHER? HAH! YOU STOPPED BEING MY MOTHER THE SECOND YOU ABANDONED ME! I WAITED FOR YOU…I WAITED FOR YOU ON THE STEPS OF THAT HOUSE…I WAITED FOR YOU TO COME BACK FOR ME” Riley cried hysterically “WAS I THAT BAD A CHILD THAT YOU DIDN’T WANT ME? WAS I THAT WORTHLESS TO YOU…DID I MEAN THAT LITTLE TO YOU THAT YOU COULD JUST LEAVE ME WITH NOTHING? …LIKE I WAS NOTHING! AND THEN YOU COME HERE EXPECTING ME TO FORGIVE YOU…I DON’T THINK SO…YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST COME HERE AND SAY YOUR SORRY AND I’LL FORGIVE YOU? …MAYBE IF YOU TOOK ME WITH YOU, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT, THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN…IM A FORGIVING PERSON BUT YOU CAN’T RUIN MY LIFE THEN EXPECT AN APOLOGY TO SUFICE?” 

Riley started to hyperventilate, she didn’t know hot to handle all these feelings at once, she sat on the floor of the bathroom, knees pulled up to her chest as tried to make sense of everything. It was her next memory that threw her over the edge though…the one that really got her.

“Riley!” Liam shouted, “Riley please open the door!”

“why” she cried “why would they do that!? W-why would they leave me like that!?” she sobbed

“Riley…sweetheart” he said just loud enough for her to hear “I know…I don’t know mentally what you’re going through but if you let me in, we can talk, let me help you riley”

“no…wh-why would anyone want to help me…I’m worthless…my own parents didn’t even want me…why would anyone else” she blubbered, he felt his heart breaking a little, hearing how she spoke about herself

“hey…you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for Riley, your friends love you, I love you, we all love you so much”

“stop! Stop saying that!! You’re all just going to do the same as they did…you’re going to get m-my hopes up…then you’re going to l-leave me…b-but I c-can’t let m-myself…b-be hurt again…I-I’m so sorry L-Liam” she started to hyperventilate.

“Riley!!!” Liam shouted panicking when he heard her moving, all her could hear was her crying and throwing things around…he banged his fists on the door, then he heard a scattering on the floor as if she had dropped beads or something of that size then the tap started running.

“Riley!!! RILEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”

“I-I love you Liam” she cried as she moved from their bathroom to the bedroom.

“Riley move away from the door I’m coming in!!”

“y-you can t-try but…you’ll be too late” Liam stood back, lifting his leg and forcing his foot into the door with all his might. The door flew open, banging against the chest of draws just beside it. When he got the door open he ran straight for Riley who was balled up next to the bed with her back to him, he fell to his knees pulling her into his hold with his arms wrapped around her and her back against his chest her hands covered her face. Her hands were bleeding from her nails digging into her palms so much when she was clenching her fists. Liam sat holding her as tight as he could when he looked up he got a straight line of sight to the bathroom…that’s when he panicked…painkillers…all over the floor.

“Riley? how many did you take?”

“enough t-to take the p-pain away” she cried “how could they leave me?” he held her back to his chest. Riley started to become hazy…not responding as fast as she normally would

“Riley…Riley talk to me!!! How many did you take?” the tears started to fall from Liam’s eyes…overwhelmed with everything happening before him. “BASTIAN!! BASTIAN! GET THE PHYSICIAN!!” Liam shouted at the top of his lungs.

At this point Riley couldn’t hear a thing around her…they mind was set on herself and that’s its…the whole court could be in that room and she wouldn’t have noticed, her hands shook, her nose ran, her face was red from the tears, she had cut the inside of her hands with her fingernails due to clenching her fist too tight.

The next flashback took it out of her, it was a memory…she hadn’t yet felt the backlash off, because of her amnesia…no one knew how she would feel or react when she got her memories back.

once Riley climbed out of the shower, she wrapped her towel round her, then headed into the bedroom, she changed into some comfy clothes then made her way into the living room, as she walked in she seen the balcony door lying open, assuming it was the wind or something, she just let it go and went to shut it, as she went to pull it shut, she felt someone hit her on the back of the head then a hand went over her mouth, she struggled, trying to get away, she kicked she wriggled she tried as hard as she could to get out of their hold…but no avail. she cried and screamed only for it to be muffled. Her eyes widened as she heard her mothers laugh. She was pulled from the palace, out onto the balcony then she was pushed over the edge, Knocking her out.

Everything fast forwarded. Next thing she knew, she was in a small room, about the size of a broom closet, she was alone…the only person in there. The room contained, her, a chair and a camera.

It was like her life was on fast forward. She may have just been sitting on the cold bathroom floor, but in her mind, she was in that room…she was locked up…with no oxygen.

“Liam” she stated looking at the camera so tired and beat up.

“Th-There’s no windows…the door is sealed…i-im the only person in here…they’re trying suffocate me” she coughed then winced “they s-said…If you want to s-see me again…t-they want…m-money…one hundred million. The cameras on a timer…it’s going to interrupt every channel every thirty minutes for ten minutes” She cried “Liam…d-don’t give into them…Don’t do it” her eyes were like faucets.

“I love you Liam” she whispered before the camera went off. as the red record light went off on the camera, she burst into tears…she knew she didn’t have long…she wasn’t stupid, every hole and space was sealed there was no oxygen getting into that room, she had hours and she knew it.

As the hours went by in that room, it felt like seconds to Riley sitting in the bathroom, her breathing wavered as she felt the loss of oxygen…Riley screamed and cried as she tried to stand up but quickly fell back to the floor again. As she fell to the floor, she gripped the sink basin pulling the glass soap dish down with a crash, it smashed all over the floor, pieces flew everywhere. She couldn’t handle the pain in her heart…it was all too much. It was like all her heartbreak that she had ever felt…all happening at once. She was repeatedly vomiting, hyperventilating, crying, 

“…Liam…I don’t have much…time left…I…can hardly…breathe” she gasped “so I …want to say…this now” she was dying…she could hardly keep her eyes open…no energy to keep her head up

“…I want you to know…how much…you’ve changed me…for the better…how much you’ve moved me, you made me…a woman…by loving me, Liam” with gasps between each word she carried on, she knew she should really stop talking to save oxygen but she had to tell him before it was too late…he had to know she loved him “and for that…I am…eternally grateful!, promise me Liam…that…that whenever your…sad…or unsure…or you lose…complete faith…promise me…that you’ll try to see yourself…through my eyes…thank you…for giving me the honour…of getting to …know you…I have no regrets when…it comes to you…you’ve made my…life, Liam…but I’m just a …chapter in yours…there will be…more…I promise…don’t be afraid to fall in love again…marry for love Liam…I love you Liam” she gasped as her eyes flickered shut.

she couldn’t breathe and because she couldn’t breathe she couldn’t shout to anyone…she couldn’t call anyone for help.

Riley's scream could be heard throughout the palace, Liam was in a meeting he heard it, as one of the lords at the table spoke,, the scream broke the conversation, Liam quickly stood from the seat and took off out the door, he ran…he ran faster than he ever did until he reached their quarters, at this point the guard on door post duty was already in there, he was stood at the bathroom door just watching…he wasn’t sure what to do, he didn’t know if he should go near her, she was in such a state he wasn’t sure how to deal with it, he had been trained to deal with all sorts of situations but he wasn’t trained for this.

Liam came running in, stopping at the bathroom door, as soon as he seen Riley, the glass all over the floor, the blood on her hands, the glass shards that had pierced her feet, her hair was mangled from pulling at It, her skin pale as snow from all the vomiting, her cheeks stained red from the tears. Liam dismissed the guard as he carefully moved closer to her, kicking the glass away, once he reached her side he fell to his knees pulling her into his chest, he knew exactly what was happening.

“it’s alright…it’s okay…I’m right here” he whispered as he held her close. “deep breathes sweetie it’s okay…it’s okay…you’re gonna be just fine sweetie, I know it hurts, but it’s going to get better I promise” he gently pecked her head. “ive got you, your safe, your okay” he whispered softly into her ear, trying to calm her down. “shh, shh, it’s alright”

Liam could feel his own heart breaking as he watches the love of his life breaking in front of him, how two people could make someone feel like that…how they could break someone so easily…it disturbed him, what kind of person does that!

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#trr #trr choices #trr fanfic #trr liam #choices trr #playchoices #play choices fanfiction #playchoices fandom #playchoices fanfic #choices #choices app #the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic #royal romance fanfic #king liam x mc #liam rys #liam x riley #liam x mc

[aeticon]

French Bulldog 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts

Yesterday the French Bulldog 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts blm captured 57 horses from the four mile herd management area with no public observers present the agency had told the public that the roundup was cancelled for the day however they went ahead and rounded up more horses yesterday than any other day of the roundup out of public view how’s that for transparency the roundup continues today we’ll keep you posted blmabuse stoptheroundups. Throughout the month we’ll be working with invisible people to bring a face to the homeless epidemic in the united states hanesforgood givingtuesday. Line and define the latest in 90 s revival dark lips give your pout some definition with two new darker shades of our lip liner blending brush just 3 French Bulldog 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts

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After using the French Bulldog 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts diapers for almost two years I must say it s sad to have to cancel the bundles their customer service is awful and I m not sure what s going on with their diapers my last bundle 6 out of the 7 packs of diapers didn t work the sticky tags rip when trying to put the diaper some kept falling off so the diaper wouldn t stay up I contacted them through email and the person asked me for pictures to show how they aren t working ummm no I can t email you pictures of my half naked baby then she says not what I meant I mean pictures of the diapers so you want me to keep diapers that I have use and take pictures it really makes no sense so upsetting I guess they are okay for smaller babies but not for active 17 month old. So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. A sad day we’ve lost tammy grimes the actress whose voice brought molly grue so perfectly to life she was 82 years old

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[littlebitoffanfic]

Home

Fandom: teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Characters: Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Raph, Splinter Request: Can I request something where the reader has been secretly friends with the 2016 tmnt? She's a bit younger so they treat her like a little sister. She ends up homeless when her foster dad kicks her out cause he's a ranging alcoholic and doesn't want to spent money feeding her anymore. So the guys end up taking her in and even Splinter treats her like his own daughter. Just something cute and fluffy. You wondered the street, freezing, starving, tired and scared. it had to be well into the early morning and it had been raining heavily over the last few hours and you couldn’t deal with it any more. Taking out the secret mobile Donnie had given you a few months ago, you unlocked it and pressed to call Donnie. You hated that you would probably be waking him, but you didn’t have anywhere else to go. Donnie answered within the first few rings. “[y/n]?” He asked, as if double checking he had read the name right on the screen. “Im really really sorry, but can I come round?” You asked, your voice shaking from both fear and cold. “Are you okay? Of course you can.” Donnie sounded genuinely worried. You were about to lie and say you were fine, but when you were just about to go round in the state you were in, you’d rather give them a heads up. “No, he chucked me out. This time for good. I don’t have anywhere to go.” You broke down, sobbing down the phone as you heard Donnie moving around and heard typing on the keys of his computer. “we’ll be there in 5 minutes, are you okay to stay there that long?” Donnie asked and you made a ‘uh-hu’ noise. “You get into any trouble or anything, give me another call.” Donnie said and then you said goodbye to him. You were in a back alley which was dimly lit, so you backed into the wall, hoping it was hid you. But you didn’t have to stay there long when you heard a manhole cover slide open and Leos voice. “Where did she say she was?” “She should be around here somewhere.” Donnie answered. “Im here.” You called out, walking over to where the sound was coming from and around a corner to see Leo, Donnie, Raph and Mikey. “Are you okay?” Raph came over to you, his eyes scanning for any signs of injury. “Yeah, I just didn’t know where else I could go.” You confessed, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. “What happened?” Mikey asked, earning a punch from Leo. “He said hes fed up with me. Doesn’t want to waste the time and money feeding me anymore so I should just go live on the streets where I belong.” You told them, tears streaming down your cheeks as you spoke the words that crushed you. “You aint living on the street.” Raph growled, angered by your foster fathers arrogance and selfishness. “And you don’t belong there!” Mikey piped up, making you smile. “Thanks guys. But i don’t have anywhere to go. Im too old to go back to an orphanage and ill just be lost in the system again. And I don’t have any money to get my own place.” You shrugged, realising the desperateness of your situations. “Why don’t you come out the rain? Splinter wants to talk to you.” Leo offered you a hand and you took it, like a child holding their fathers hand. the four of your headed back to the lair. You were rather amused as they took up guarding stations around you. Leo to your right, Donnie in front of you, Mikey to your left and Raph behind you. It made you feel special and important. During the journey, you apologised a number of times for waking the boys and making them come out in weather like this. “Its okay, Raph was snoring so loud, we weren’t sleeping anyways.” Leo chuckled, earning a nod from Donnie and Mikey who agreed while Raph muttered some sort of insult which made you giggle. you couldn’t count how many times they had helped you. You would be lost without them. 3 years of friendship meant that the five of you were completely comfortable with each other. In fact, you barley spent any time in your foster fathers house. Not that he ever noticed. As you drew close to the real place you considered home, you wondered why Splinter would want to speak to you. It was late and while you didn’t like waking Donnie up, you hated waking splinter. Splinter, unlike your foster father, was a father figure. He was kind to you, he helped you, he offered you support wherever possible and he had really helped you become the person you were today because of him and the brothers. They were your real family. Entering the lair, you saw Splinter sitting in his normal seat. “you wanted to speak to me?” You asked, well aware how late it was. “Yes, it is about something we have been speaking about for a little while now.” He indicated to the brothers who were now behind you. Frowning slightly, you walked towards him and took a seat, wanting to show him the respect he deserved. “are you happy when you are here?” Splinter asked and you didn’t need any time to respond. “Of course, happier than ive ever been.” You confessed. “What if this was to become your permanent home?” Splinters question made your mouth open. You had never been given a choice in any discussion concerning your home. You had been handed from person to person like an old book. And you had never been happy. Especially with that thing you had been staying with. He was abusive and a alcoholic. You never understood how he was able to adopt you nor how he was able to look after himself, never mind another person. But Splinter, Leo, Raph, Mikey and Donnie always made you feel special. They were genuinely happy to see you when you came and would go out of their way to make sure you were happy. They protected you, made you laugh, stop your tears, supported you, everything a family should do. Everything you had never had. And now you were being offered the one thing you never dreamed you would have. A home. A proper home. As tears streamed down your cheeks, this time out of happiness, all you could do was nod. --------------timeskip ----------------- It had been 3 months since you had moved into the lair with the turtles and splinter. And not a moment had passed that you regretted it. You had taken the spare room and each of the brother brought you something to make it your own. Leo had broken into your foster fathers home to get all your things. He had to do it because no one wanted you going back there, Raph would punch the man in the face, Mikey would make some sort of comment and get caught and Donnie had threated to hack the mans electronics and make something bad happen (eg, stop his benefits, get him fired, Donnie really didn’t know until he got there). Mikey had given you a number of things to make your room ‘cool’ and you loved everything. You had never really got presents so even the smallest thing meant the world to you. Donnie had wired up your room with everything. He even got it so you could turn off your lights, turn on your tv or games console with your phone, which was very, very cool. Raph had helped you decorate. For such a big guy, he was really good at small detail. Splinter treated you no differently than his own sons, apart from punishment. He had a soft spot for you so something that would normally get Mikey in a load of trouble only got you a small ‘tut’. And as you sat in the living room, watching a movie on the sofa with Leo, Donnie and Raph while Mikey came back with popcorn, you couldn’t help but feel at home.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #leo #leonardo #donnie #donatello #mikey #michelangelo #raph #raphael #reader insert #splinter

[drimmolo]

Finally

So aside the fact that i lost two big blogs draft and rage quitted making blogs all together for a very long time, I think the readon i haven’t done that many journals is because I spent most of the time researching. 

Just a whole lot of researching. 

I need to research a lot of reference pictures and ideas in order to have a clear idea in mind for what i want to do so I am honest when I say that I spent the entirety of february just researching and thinking about ideas. 

Now that I am done I can finally start gushing it all out in these journals and normally lay down my process.

For 2000AD

After reading the script I was really happy because I actually liked the story, it reminded me a lot of a manga kind of plot so it was easy to imagine in my head how to divide the panels and pace the story. The only problem i had was that we were limited to only four pages, and the script had divided the actions per panel in a way that each panel had at least 3 actions happening at the same time. Before getting into that however let’s talk about the story itself, the characters and the setting. 

So we don’t actually get that much detailed nformation about how anything looks like. After reading through the script a third third, i highlighted all the things I had freedom to design. Here’s the finished result:

As you can see, we basically have the freedom to design everything. What we know for sure is that Axel Lott is young, handsome and athletic while The Tooth is tall, lean and everything about him is sharp. We also know the ray gun is hefty. There. Those are about almost all the adjectives we are given. Funnily enough, there’s not even one part in the script that mentions that this happens in the future, we only assume so cause the story comes from future shocks. Anyway I’m rambling now: point is that i realized i had the freedom to decide the feel of the entire story through the setting and theme of the comic. Whcih is also probably why i took such a long time researching and coming up with designs and ideas. Since we were given almost no guideliens on how anything looked like, the kind of feeling the reader is supposed to get from the art is completely up to me. I can easily turn this into either a dark and gory story or fluffy and warm story. It’s all about how i want to design this. 

At the beginning I wanted the story to have a very elegant feel: i wanted everything to be slightly art nouveu themed. The clothes, the guns, the buildings...i wanted to make everything look graceful..almost like a couture show? I wanted to use as inspiration Alphonse Mucha and have lots of flowery designs and roccoco decorations. But when it got down to designing it ...my hand was not having it, and neither was my inspiration. It just felt forced, i just could not come up with anything that felt right...that felt like the idea in my head, which is why I don’t even have any concept art doodles. I realized that while my idea was cool and that it intrigued me, it’s not what my subconscious had for this story. So I went back to the beginning. 

What did i like about the story? What did it remidn me of? Easy: cheesy action and mangas. So i decided to start from there: how would i go about drawing cheesy actions and manga? what would I highlight? What feel would i give it? Well first of all, it would happen in what i define my personal dream world, so that would mean that it would be a urban fantasy setting. Secondly, i focus on expressions and characther development, so that means I would highlight on how the main characthers clash against each other, how their personalities are expressed through their faces and actions and bodies. Thirdly, designs would be based now on how cool they look, but on how realistic it would be: would the characther actually wear this? would a hybrid actually look like this? would a building like this work for an organization like this? I would focus on not making things look pretty or thematically interesting, but as “ah...i could see this actually happening..i could believe this” i can get it to look like. When I got my thoughts together, and tried to finally get my hand again at some concept art, I finally started drawing with inspiration! I guess i’ll leave mucha and art nouveau for another time. Here’s some concept art for the main characthers, the hybrids, and the gun!

You’ll notice that I have widely ignored the part where the script says that the hybrids look vicious. Well I mean, rather than ignored I’d say that I simply deduced that they looked vicious because they were ANGRY that they were being collared and mistreated by strangers and that their creators had been killed. In all honesty, I can’t help but think: if i wanted to sell some hybrids to some war loving companies, i would not sell some random hybrids that simply look like some beefed up steroid dudes with animal heads glued on top that can punch things slightly harder than normal beefed up steroid dudes. I mean the script says that “WISDOM had targeted six munitions giants, stealing prototype weapons...the latest was lance biowep, maker of hybrid bio-weapons”. Nowhere in these sentences does it says that these weapons have to be the “kill and destroy” type. The script says that the hybrids are a shark, a lion and a rhino, and im sorry but these animals don’t destroy just whatever they see in their path, that’s somethin machines do. These animals are simply somewhat strong! If you wanted to make actually strong “kill and destroy” hybrids, you’d use animals that have physical capabilities that surpass nature, like I dunno mantis shrimps (the lil dudes can punch at over 50 miles per hour and hard enough to shatter aquarium glass...see now if that was made into a hybrid...i could see that messing stuff up). But if we go for animals the ones in the script, no no no, them being bulky would make 0 sense. So that’s why i went for those designs: the lion is agile, intimidating and has a dominative personality, perfect for interrogations that will make anyone spit it out immediately, the shark is a female (since in the ocean the females are always stronger) from the mako species meaning that in the ocean it is unrivaled in terms of speed and matches in terms of aggressiveness even the great white sharks...great for bringing down entire submarines with just a small fleet of them. Now the rhino. I can’t remotely understand why out of all the animals in the world you’d choose a rhino to use for hybrid experiements outside of the fact that it has a cool horn. So I designed him to actually be a failure. As in, since these are all prototypes, I thought “hey we tried to make a rhino hybrid and hes really good at heavy lifting stuff but to be honest we don’t know what else he’d do...he’s also a coward and whatever frightens him will be charged at with the huge horn he has....yeah...” ... See? it don’t sound smart. Plus rhinos and humans have nothing NOTHING in common except the fact we both don’t have hair. What I drew is what i think is the only possible way for a hybrid prototype between a rhino and a man to look like. End of the story. Don’t mix humans and rhinos. 

About the main characthers! It was quite easy for me to create them since from the beginning i had quite a clear idea of how i wanted them to look like. There’ no denying that they are heavily inspired from manga, especially the Tooth, whose final designs came to mind after watching a character called Ban from a manga\anime called “The Seven Deadly Sins”. Looking back, I can also see i subconsciously thought about Midoriya from Boku No Hero Academia when desinging Axel Lott...with the whole young look hair and the freckles. However it’s only because of that! Axel comes from axelotls...so it comes natural for me to think that he should also have hair that would reach the sides of his face, and have freckles just like them. Also axelotls are super tiny, so axel also gets to be a tiny dude, which also makes a nice contrast against the Tooth. I really wanted T. to look slighly feminine, maybe it’s because i subconsciously connect sharpness with elegance and femeninity. I had some troubles with his hair but I really like his final design.

Their clothes.... ....ok I was really looking forward to designing their clothes but gods help me it took me a week to finalize them. And by them I mean T.’s clothes, cause axel’s clothes were quite simple...i mean the boy is naked half the time and the other he has a suit so it was not that hard. The uniforms of the WISDOM workers also came pretty easily, since it was simply the first scrapped design of T.’s clothes. It was too basic for the absolute eccentric sharp diva T is and thought hey that would make a good uniform for his goons. But yeah...T’s design was.....a horrible performance on my part. In my mind I was so sure about how i wanted him to look like but i guess my mind and inspiration and hand were not collaborating. The script described it as a tight-fitting black jumpsuit .... and interestingly enough, at first i wanted him to wear heels and wear a jumpsuit for women...like a gala jumpsuit...but it never really looked right. When i thought about it, the script never talked about him not wearing anything else so I wanted to put something over him like a jacket ..i mean you can’t tell him a man like him doesn’t have an eccentric but practical outfit...i just don’t believe it. I went through a lot of designs as you can see. In the end, thanks to the character Ban, I finally ended up with a design that i liked. The long gloves with have reinforced knockled to make he will punch those teeth out!

The buildings! I really wanted the buildings to not be typical, but since futuristic architecture is not my fortè I spend a good amount of hours cooped up in the library looking for books in avant garde architecture to help me out. I was beyong ecstatic to find these two books! Look at all these fantastic images! It was pretty easy coming up with a final design, since all i had in mind was to find a building that simply “did not look from this time”. With the help of these two books, the lance biowep building, the secret hideout, the corridors, and the bunker ended not being a huge problem in terms of desinging.

the gun! I had a vague idea about what i wanted but not something concrete in mind. Once again i spent a good amount of hours in the library looking for books for inspirations. You know at first, for a very short period of time, I actually attempted at looking for inspiration in the actual sci-fi comic book section, but i immediately got bored and went away. See if i actually made a comic ouf of this script, I really would not want my comics to look anything like the traditional sci-fi works (especially like the ones that future shocks has published) because there are few things that go against my aesthetics and definitions of pretty as much as those drawings. So yeah...in every aspect of the designing process I really focused on findind inspiration from sources that had nothing to do per se with sci-fi...which i’m glad i did. i also did some concept art for the null-beam by myself at the top of my head without thinking too much about it, but none of the guns really clicked for me, so i got this book to help me find some better mechanical inspirations, which definetely helped. In regards to the beam itself, I knew for sure i wanted it to look white and almost like white fire, but just for the funs I decided to experiment with different types of beams and their effects on targets, to see if i could mix them up and come up with more interesting ideas! It payed out in the end!!

Thumbnails

Whoooo boy so there....that’s all the stuff i worked on during the first part of the semester. With the designs out of the way, i started working on the thumbnails and by the gods above was it an excruciating experience. I agonized over the fact that the the script had shoved in every panel so many actions...i felt like it had basically ruined the weight of every action by meshing them up together. My options were either to make more panels and divide the actions among them, or put less emphasis on the drawings and so manage to shove everything within one panel. Now while it may seem strange to hear (Read?) this from someone who spent the entire previous blog entry complaining about how many panels there were for page and how in my comics i’d almost never go over 5 panels per page, I much rather prefer to have 8 panels but where each action ha it own emphasis raher than bleak drawings....thats just simply not what my art is about. So yes, the first thing people will notice is that every page has either one or two additional panels. Honetly i really feel like this script really did not make use of the comic as a story telling medium and just used it as a “here’s some pictures to imagine the story better”...my thumbnails really focus on fixing that, which is why you’ll also see that i have cut up some of the dialogue boxes or bubbles among the panels to add more emphasis or better pacing. If i had to be honest, having so many panels in my pages scares me: more panels within the same page means that each panel will have to make space for the other, making them overalll...much smaller than what i am used to. I don’t like having small panels...which i think stems from the fact that I see comics a lot like a story board for animation, which is a mistake. So altought it scares me a bit, I am gonna accept this challenge and see how i work with smaller panels. On another note, people might also notice that the perspective in each panel keeps on changing. When monty came to talk to us, he advised me to make ure that my drawings will look dynamic, since in this comic words don’t do much. When i thought about what makes comics dynamic, I feel a constant change in perspective and direction goes a long way. 

[identitycris1s]

so this is the new year

im finally taking time to sit down and reflect on the past few months. the new year came and went and its been a bit of a whirlwind. i suppose i’ll just go by chronological order cos i dont really know how to start...also i dont think im an abstract thinker so really my life isnt ordered by “themes” or “lessons” or whatever but i sort of think of it in terms of events and the epiphanies or lessons that flow therefrom. this is probably just gonna be a stream of consciousness exposition cos im lazy to organise my thoughts and this is basically my journal so WHATEVER!

November

X told me he liked me and asked me out. i was shocked. but sort of saw it coming (what else could “r u free after lunch, i have some stuff to say” mean...LOL). i reacted awkwardly - distinctly remember saying “huh..what does that MEAN!!!” (LOL) i told him i would think about it but could probably only give him an answer after part b was over. 

tbh this was probably just me stalling for time. i think instinctively i knew that i didnt see him in that way, but he seemed to tick so many boxes in terms of who i was “supposed” to be with - that sounds dumb, but what i mean is he’s a steadfast christian, a good boy, similar values, similar tastes in music / movies / books, same bloody industry LOL...

also he seemed really serious about it - ermmm he brought up marriage on that first day :0 ok i suppose thats unfair and it sounds insane without context - he said it with reference to how dating is always with a view to marriage which i do agree with but yes it was a lot to absorb in one conversation. and then he cracked out this book about dating and marriage and i was like woah. so, given how much thought he seemed to have put into this (he also said he chatted with his CG leader about me yikes) i felt obliged to at least think it through properly and give myself some time to consider rather than immediately rejecting him. 

and so i mulled it over whilst studying for part b. he was overseas for a while towards the end of my studying period (ie when i was freaking out the most and generally being a headless chicken) and this probably contributed to me feeling like i liked him more than i really did hmm wonder what this says about me. i like to feel like someone’s out of my reach i suppose. so fucked up lol! and so during this period we were texting everyday and i would look forward to his replies and he was a real source of comfort during that stressful period and i never told him this and i probably never will. 

December

exams were over and i had to face D DAY!! so i went to meet him to give him my answer and honestly even on that day i didnt know what my answer was. we met at BTM and he literally had written down a list of things to talk about and i think in that moment i knew this probably wouldnt work out. hes so damn thoughtful about every little thing and he thinks everything through and even though he seems to think he “doesnt take things too seriously” I THINK HE DOES...and i really dont...so i felt that showed how incompatible we were. its not a bad thing to be thoughtful. its just that i felt so pressured by how seriously he was taking things...i thought “trying this out” would be casual and chill and we would just hang out as if we were friends but with this overarching agenda of potentially being together but no his conception of “trying things out” is much more intense and serious and thought out and in his words “intentional”. which i realised is some christian dating jargon haha.

dinner was normal until he cracked out that list i was talking about. then he started talking about what he wanted out of a relationship and asked me what i wanted out of a relationship. like it was a damn interview. you know what, im saying this in a really condescending tone and i wouldnt ever be this hurtful if i knew he was gonna read this - in fact i really do think this kind of approach would suit many people and perhaps a more emotionally well adjusted person would think this was normal but i felt so bombarded and i really didnt know what to say in response. so i blurted out some nonsense about wanting to be with someone who was God fearing and “kind and compassionate” and “ambitious” LMAO...what bullshit (that last one i mean). and he had clearly thought out his answers a lot more and he went on a whole spiel about wanting to be with someone who could stand on their own as a christian and who he didnt have to “drag along” on their walk with God and i was like ok cool but i think im not that...im not what youre looking for...but of course i didnt say this. idk why. maybe i enjoy being wanted and sought after and i didnt want to shatter his illusion that i was what he was looking for, even though i was kinda seeing that he wasnt what i was looking for.

anyway, being the shitty person i am, i told him it wasnt a no but it wasnt a straight out yes either i.e. i would be willing to try with a view to potentially saying yes. and we left it at that. but even as i said bye to him that night i kinda knew this wasnt gonna work...but i wanted it to! i wanted to like him! i want to be the kind of person who can accept love from a well adjusted person who’s not afraid to be real and to take things seriously...but i suppose i have some emotional growth to work on...or is it perfectly valid for me to not want to be with him? tbh i never found him attractive (physically or even personality wise oops) - he doesnt make me laugh, hes kinda too uptight, he doesnt get my jokes (i have to be like “JUST KIDDING” a lot of the time..ded) but somehow we worked as friends. but to be with someone requires something more than just working as friends doesnt it?? ack

so we met a few times in dec (i think we went on four or five “dates” in total...im so reluctant to call them dates cos throughout i just couldnt see him in that light, but thats what they were i think) and through the course of our interactions i started picking up on things that i didnt like about him / about our interactions. this sounds awfully petty and i dont wanna be mean about this cos im sure i have MANY MANY MANY flaws that one could nit pick but these were just some signs that we would not work (quite apart from my lack of physical attraction to him)

1. our conversations always end up argumentative. i think this probably stems from both of us being law students and so whenever we disagree on something we both cant seem to fucking let it go. i distinctly remember one stupid conversation, i shall put it here (not verbatim but this is the gist of it)

X: what are your new years resolutions?

S: i dont like making new years resolutions because they always end up in disappointment because i never stick to them. 

X: but disappointment isnt always a bad thing because you can learn from it and improve from there

S: yes but that doesnt mean disappointment isnt a bad thing - cos disappointment in itself is bad (like duh the feeling of disappointment is bad) but what comes after disappointment can be good or bad i.e. you can choose to work on yourself and improve or you can wallow in the disappointment.

-some more argument and confusion about what we are even talking about-

S: ok lets not argue on this its a semantic point. 

X: is it semantic? its not semantic.

S: it is semantic. we are disagreeing on what the word disappointment means. i think it is necessarily negative but you are saying that disappointment isnt always negative because of what can come after but i think thats sidestepping the point of disappointment being negative in itself.

do you see what i mean. what kind of petty argument is this? whats the damn point? of course im definitely not blameless in this at all. i perpetuate it. but what im saying is i feel like talking to him brings out this argumentative side of me that im not a fan of. also its fucking exhausting haha.

2. he is so. fucking. serious. every conversation involves some heavy thing like spirituality or self evaluation or Godliness etc. which i suppose is good but i just found it tiring...why cant things be light? why cant things be fun? why do we always have to talk about *important* or *weighty* things? tbh i think he sorta compartmentalises me as a friend whom he can talk about these *weighty* things with cos im also a christian and i get what hes saying when he talks about God but i dont want to only talk about that...

3. we dont have similar senses of humour. i dont think he thinks im funny...but i think im bloody funny ok haha also i dont think im deluded on this? my friends think im funny too? yeah i think its a major problem that we cant really laugh together...hes not someone that makes me laugh at all :( 

ok enough bashing X haha i really do think hes a great person we are just NOT compatible romantically.

ANYWAYS! sometime in dec i also met up w SM for the first time in aaaages. but things were like normal again. sounds stupid but i think ill always think of him as the one who got away LOL....emotionally unavailable and not interested in me?? IM DOWN! haha. ok hes not emotionally unavailable tbh i probably was more emotionally unavailable in the course of our friendship but he defo never really expressed any interest in me other than always hanging out one on one but that doesnt really count for anything does it. anyways! he told me about his BTO plans and im honestly v happy for him :) friends r growing up and moving on in life mang..

sad part was i dropped avo toast on my new everlane pants and that honestly ruined my day lol

January

NYE was spent w S and some of her friends plus R and A (who went home after dinner cos of family drama lmao angie is siao) - we went to AL’s fam friends party at fullerton for countdown and the fireworks were amaaaazing, lasted about an hour (which made us question the budget allocation on this tbh isnt it a bit of a waste?? fireworks are insanely expensive??) and we promptly went home after the clock struck 12 which was perfect haha i have no stamina to stay out late anymore. 

work started on 2 jan! its been fun tbh - back with the trainees and meeting some new people and using my brain again. i like feeling useful and being stuck in a routine...at least for now haha. check in on me in about 3 months and we’ll see. 

and....i finally mustered up the courage to tell X the truth ie i didnt see this going anywhere and we should just be friends. we had kind of an awkward dinner (i could feel myself being rude to him and being dismissive etc but i think it could partially be attributed to me being tired from work..but mostly cos i didnt wanna be with him!! as a romantic partner!! it felt wrong!) and so i told him after dinner otw to the mrt (funny, we always have these convos otw to the mrt haha). he said he understood and he sort of felt it coming. and i felt bad - he mustve picked up on my coldness and rudeness over text and in our meetings also...why am i like this. i shouldve been up front with him on the first day. but i didnt know!!! i didnt know for sure this is how i felt. ahhh well u live and u learn right. next time ill be better at this. hope theres a next time LOL God pls send me someone whos right for me

ok bye for now! this was a lengthy post haha

[mountain-soul]

Like so many of those questions..u should do them all if ur up to it

get toknow me 

i know i dont really talkto you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you canask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

·       Just A Phase by Adam Craig

·       Round Here Buzz by Eric Church

·       Heartache on the Dance Floor by Jon Pardi

·       Déjà vu by Lauren Duski

·       Either Way by Chris Stapleton

·       It Just Wont Quit by Meat Loaf

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, whowould it be?

·       Emma Watson or Sophia Bush (I cant choose)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

·       Getting myself out of debt

5: What does your latest text message fromsomeone else say?

·       “Headphones!!”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

·       Giant T shirt

7: What’s your strangest talent?

·       I can pick up a lot of things with my feet

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finishthe sentence)

·       Girls kinda suck

·       Boys kinda suck

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

·       No

10: When is the last time you played the airguitar?

·       Lol I couldn’t even tell you

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

·       Airport security

·       Masked creatures like the Easter Bunny

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

·       no

13: What’s your religion?

·       protestant

14: If you are outside, what are you mostlikely doing?

·       Sitting on the patio drinking and hanging outwith friends

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera orin front of it?

·       behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favoriteband?

·       The Doors

17: What was the last lie you told?

·       “Im not mad at you”

18: Do you believe in karma?

·       I believe in justice

19: What does your URL mean?

·       That the mountains are where I belong

20: What is your greatest weakness; yourgreatest strength?

·       Weakness: I trust and forgive far too easilywhen I love someone

·       Strength: I love to prove people wrong

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

·       Julian Edeleman

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

·       Yes

23: How do you vent your anger?

·       I usually just lock myself in my room and stayaway from people for awhile. Or I’ll go see hot bartender and go line dancing at my favoritecountry bar

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

·       Pretty big vinyl record collection

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone orvideo chatting online?

·       Phone call

26: Are you happy with the person you’vebecome?

·       A lot happier recently

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

·       Hate: anything that sounds like nails on achalkboard

·       Love: thunderstorms

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

·       What if Im not good enough to be someonesfirst and only choice

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How aboutaliens?

·       Ghosts: yes

·       Aliens: unsure

30: Stick your right arm out; what do youtouch first? Do the same with your left arm.

·       Either side of my desk

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

·       Freshly printed paper

32: What’s the worst place you have ever beento?

·       Honestly, not a huge fan of NYC. Too muchgoing on there

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

·       East Coast for sure

34: Most attractive singer of your oppositegender?

·       Sam Hunt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

·       To leave people better than you met them

36: Define Art.

·       Whatever makes you feel something, be itmovement, writing, picture, drawing

37: Do you believe in luck?

·       Not really

38: What’s the weather like right now?

·       Rainy, which is okay because im home from work

39: What time is it?

·       6:01 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you evercrashed?

·       Yes, and Ive been rear-ended

41: What was the last book you read?

·       TheGirl on the Train

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

·       Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

·       Nicki, Nic, Princess, Pumpkin

44: What was the last film you saw?

·       Shutter Island

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

·       Well I fractured my ankle when I was 10 and shouldvegotten a cast and didnt so still dealing with that 13 years later

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

·       yes

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

·       Cold brew coffee

·       The Bachelorette

·       Reading

·       Candles

·       Old time radio shows

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

·       Straight

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

·       Lol, lets count them all

50: Do you believe in magic?

·       Part of me does

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against peoplewho have done you wrong?

·       Lolololololol yeahhh

52: What is your astrological sign?

·       Taurus

53: Do you save money or spend it?

·       I try to save. But I do save to spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

·       A salad

55: Love or lust?

·       Depends on the person Im with

56: In a relationship?

·       Uhhh kind of

57: How many relationships have you had?

·       4

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

·       Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

·       Work

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet ofyou?

·       My pig pillow pet

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

·       Always

62: What’s your favourite animal?

·       An otter

63: What is your secret weapon to get someoneto like you?

·       Playing hard to get

64: Where is your best friend?

·       Far away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs onTumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

·       Portuegese, English, Swedish, French Canadian,and Mohawk Indian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

·       Watching The Fosters even though I should havebeen asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

·       Lololol I think he has too many

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

·       Damn straight

70: Are you the kind of friend you would wantto have as a friend?

·       I think so

71: You are walking down the street on yourway to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street.Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do youdo?

·       Save the dog dude!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she hasjust informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tellanyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remainingdays? c) Would you be afraid?

·       I would tell my parents, and S.O.

·       I would try and do everything I’ve ever wanted to do

·       Id be terrified

73: You can only have one of these things;trust or love.

·       love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happywhen you hear it?

·       That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars

75: What are the last four digits in your cellphone number?

·       6504

76: In your opinion, what makes a greatrelationship?

·       Respect, communication, trust, admiration

77: How can I win your heart?

·       Corgis

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

·       Or more insanity

79: What is the single best decision you havemade in your life so far?

·       To not get another restaurant job

80: What size shoes do you wear?

·       8

81: What would you want to be written on yourtombstone?

·       “Love her, but leave her wild.”

82: What is your favourite word?

·       Love

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mindwhen you hear the word; heart.

·       ache

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

·       Bless

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

·       Objects in the Rearview Mirror by Meat Loaf

86: Basic question; what’s your favouritecolour/colours?

·       Gray, very light purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

·       A quote that says “Do what makes your soul happy”

88: If you could press a button and makeanyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

·       Lolololol too many

89: What would be a question you’d be afraidto tell the truth on?

·       Are you over him?

90: One night you wake up because you heard anoise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. Themummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed.What do you do?

·       Go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactivevegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you withthe super-power of your choice! What is that power?

·       Invisibility

92: You can re-live any point of time in yourlife. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your pastwould you like to experience again?

·       The last half hour I spent with my Buppa

93: You can erase any horrible experience fromyour past. What will it be?

·       All the bullying I experienced

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with themusic-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

·       SAM HUNT

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere.You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

·       English countryside

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

·       Surprisingly no

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

·       Oh yeah

98: Ever been on a plane?

·       Yes

99: If the whole worldwere listening to you right now, what would you say?

·      To quote Cinderella “Have courage and be kind”

[ciathyzareposts]

10 Reasons I’m Still Blogging About CRPGs After 10 Years

In case you’re not already aware, the 10th anniversary of the CRPG Addict is coming up on 15 February 2020. Other than my marriage, which turns 21 this month, I can’t think of anything that I’ve stuck with for 10 years. Since 2010, I’ve moved five times (it will soon be six), switched primary jobs three times, started and abandoned dozens of diet and exercise programs, made and lost several friends, and, if we’re being honest, even tried to quit the blog once. Spoiler: it didn’t work.

In recognition of my 10th anniversary, I’ve decided that for the next four months, I will periodically pen a special entry plumbing this project’s past. I’ve written down several ideas but I would welcome more:

        The 10 best comments ever received

10 times I was very wrong

10 great discoveries

The 10 most frustrating threads

            But I’m starting today–mostly because I haven’t done enough with Fantasyland 2041 to round out a full entry–with my list of 10 reasons I’m still pursuing this hopeless task to play all CRPGs.

10. Commentary on art is important.

In thinking about art, in analyzing it, in discussing it, we make it part of us; we make it live in a way that transcends the creator’s pen or brush. One of the things I was “very wrong” about is when I agreed with Roger Ebert that video games are not art. At first I thought I was wrong because of a failure of definition: “art” is too complex a concept to be subjected to, to be generalized with, an “is.” Now I think I was wrong just because I was wrong. You hardly have to twist the definition of “art” to make it encompass video games; you only have to abandon certain unfortunate prejudices. 

Perhaps the most important proof that video games are art is the level of critique that they provoke. Over the last 10 years, you and I have dissected hundreds of games and discussed how their plots, themes, mechanics, and artwork do and do not work, do and do not satisfy, on every level from aesthetic to socio-political. These are the same discussions that people have about paintings, books, films, and music.

I believe that there is incredible value to this commentary–not because either the art or the commentary is necessary to human existence, but precisely because it isn’t. The measure of a great civilization must surely be how much time it devotes to unnecessary things. Oh, we certainly have some lingering problems, but what more testament do you need to our victories over hunger, disease, and violence than the existence of Keeping up with the Karashians, pet chiropractors, and a blog that spends decades chronicling every video game in a niche genre?

9. It’s a nice contrast with reality.

To protect my anonymity, I don’t discuss my “real” job on my blog. But suffice to say it’s unlike playing computer role-playing games. It does not involve any art or entertainment, or the creation thereof, or the consumption thereof. It is worldly and necessary, about making existence sufferable rather than actually enjoyable  I’m not going to pretend that I play computer role-playing games as an antidote–I was addicted to them long before I had this job–but certainly this blog, in contrasting with the work I do during the rest of the day, fills my life with more variety than I would otherwise enjoy.

8. It makes me a better writer.

Communication skills are important in just about every profession and every walk of society. Because of this blog, I’ve written over 2 million words, the equivalent of about 5 door-stopper novels, in less than a decade. I’ve certainly put in the 10,000 hours that are supposed to make you an expert at something.

7. I learn things.

Once, I scoffed at the idea that RPGs actually taught you anything. But 10 years later, I find myself with a nascent ability to read German, much greater knowledge of the history and culture of Finland, a better understanding of classical mythology, and a large number of new technical skills. A lot of this learning, of course, has less to do with the games than with the discussions that we have on the blog, but this post is about why I’m still blogging, not just playing.

6. Maybe one day I’ll work on an RPG.

The more I think about it, the more I think it would be fun to participate in the development of an actual game. I can’t bring any technical skill to such an endeavor, but at least I can say that I have overall subject matter skill.

5. It’s making me some pocket money.

This obviously isn’t a major consideration because I only started my Patreon account this year. But thanks to my awesome supporters, I’m taking Irene to Chicago in a couple of weeks. This makes her feel a lot better about the time I spent on the blog.

4. It captures what might otherwise be forgotten.

In the last 10 years, we’ve uncovered and exhaustively explored many games that would have been utterly lost otherwise. I’m not the only one doing this, of course–Jimmy Maher and Matt Barton deserve particular accolades. But I like that I play a unique niche in this community by often being the only one to fully play a game from beginning to end.

3. I no longer feel like I’m wasting time playing CRPGs. I used to beat myself up–a lot–for how much time I spent on computer role-playing games. I felt particularly bad about playing them to the exclusion of doing things with Irene. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. The blog “legitimizes” my hobby in a way that I wouldn’t have anticipated–not only because it’s my blog but because it engages me in discussions with other fans of the genre. Prior to 2010, my CRPG addiction was a solitary, lonely, shameful experience. Post-2010, it is a community experience that adds value to a global understanding of this art form. What a change.

2. I really enjoy the discussions.

Early on, I thought that I would probably keep blogging even if I didn’t have any commenters, just because I enjoyed the experience of blogging itself. Now, I’m not so sure. I think my blog would be missing something without all of the great comments that expand, supplement, and sometimes correct my own observations. I find myself looking forward to what certain commenters will have to say about certain aspects of a game, and I eagerly check in with comments a few hours after each posting.

1. I still think I can make it.

I don’t know why I persist in this delusion. I can see for myself how many games lie both behind me and ahead of me on the “master list.” And yet some part of me believes that I’ll reject a lot of them, or that the process will go faster as they get more “playable,” or that I’ll somehow find a lot more time to spend on the project. Either way, my quest to be the One Man who has played all computer RPGs continues with Fantasyland 2041. Very soon.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/10-reasons-im-still-blogging-about-crpgs-after-10-years/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

[survivorinternational]

Episode 4 - "We get to form the narrative" - Patrick

I lost my two closest allies I am pissed. Vilma come home (Ginger too I guess). I do NOT trust Clash and Allan those people will backstab at moment's notice I am FUCKED

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So tribe split is 3-2-2. Logically if the 2 other tribes will work together and uh take us out. And uhh I have def been the biggest impression person. And uhh merge is decently soon so maybe they use that as a reason. My predictions have been correct so far but how about not this time? :) 

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Goal is to beat Vilma in the scavenger hunt

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hosts' mean making me doubt my life 

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I really want to make merge so I'll actually get my game on I guess. I'll throw Allan and Clash under the bus if I must. I'll do my best to befriend these people as part of my game because all other friendships are fake as we know. So far I'm trying to get with the aussie gang. Yanks will burn 

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I am slightly less mad about the swap now. But it's for personal reasons. Here are the power rankings of my new tribemates: - SluggyG - Stephen - Pat - Randy. Randy and I don't seem to click sadly.

Just like our tribe predicted there was a tribe swap and i ended up being in a tribe of 7 with 2 people from my previous tribe - Stephen and me. Having Stephen here is honestly great because although we didn't look like we were a pair in the old ala mai, we actually were and made a solid 2 man alliance before tribal council. I also told him about how Jacob and Michael were playing in the middle to gain some trust and so I believe we're tight. Every step from here on out is crucial to our game. We need to take out faatasi, there's two ala mai and two salaotoga (however u spell it), we just need to make sure we are together as a 4. 

I hate swaps, when zwooper did its first 40 person swap survival game, my social and strategic game at the first stage was perfect. I was aligned with everyone. Once the swap came all of my allies disappeared to the other tribe and I flopped BADLY ! 

FINALLY WAS PUT ON A TRIBE WITH VILMA! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE SURVIVOR GODS! hehe. anyway. for real though, love this new tribe. my analysis of each person: liana: of all my old tribe mates, I wanted to be with her the least. but it's fine I guess. she's nice, I'm just not close with her. if the tribe wants to vote her out I'd do it. vilma: amazing active queen goddess mOM she told me she's heard good things about me and was saying in her host chat that she wanted to be on a tribe with me this whole time and GIRL me too!!!!!!!! I want her to be my closest ally I adore her. she's also a great challenge help! I truly don't think we'll lose this scavenger hunt because we have some hard workers on our tribe like her ginger: very sweet!! I love her. I think we'll align. she mentioned how she liked how many girls were on this tribe and to that I say hell yeah - we love some girl power! she's somewhat of a weird texture but like a lot of emotion gets lost when typing? lots of people sound bland to me? but she's cute and been talking to me a lot today! I appreciate her tyler: I'm like low key scared of him for some reason I remember watching him in a game a while while back and he was like so mean?? so I'm hoping he's not mean anymore? or if he is mean that he isn't mean to ME like pls like me? but also he kinda gives off a I am scared of women and only like men vibe......... uh idk? jacob: okay I love him he's so sweet! interesting that he got the 1 vote from the ala mai tribal - kind of shows he's more or less in the bottom of the ala mai bunch so maybe I can infiltrate that and make him a good ally for me going forward! he said tribal was hard because everyone was pretty active and got along. so it seems he thinks the tribe is all big and happy - maybe he's not in any alliances? who knows michael: barely talked to him tbh. but idk how much I really like him? seemed really good in the w4 c9 challenge so ???? maybe he'll be good challenge help and someone to look out for at merge. I also feel like he and tyler would be good allies together. so yeah. that's just a hunch based off of their personalities overall: I have hope that my tribe won't flop and HOPEFULLY we will win these upcoming challenges!! and I'm going to pull my mother fucking weight so they know I'm good in challenges and that they should keep me if they don't want to go to tribal! I really really really do not think randy will do anything in the scavenger hunt LMAO like no tea no shade I don't think I remember him doing anything in mongolia and he's in four fucking games. also never goes out of his house. so it's like we're a tribe of seven vs a tribe of six? lmao let's hope!! 

God I am really not photogenetic, really don't like how I come off in videos but oh well what can you do. I used to struggle with my looks but honestly I really like how I look nowadays. Issue now is manerisms :/ Slowly but surely. Hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the psyche of Veni 

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I am going out with friends today to go all over town in search of hopefully doing really well in the scavenger hunt. I can do almost everything, the ones that are doubtful are all the DVDs, the book, the airplane and the sandcastle. I might build a sandcastle. I wanna build a sandcastle. 

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Man I really miss Vilma the more days pass. Some people are just a drag to talk to and now I can't share my determination for the challenge with anyone. It is disheartening 

Tribe Swap: Well It was bound to happen, at least I got swapped into a tribe with possibly my 2 closest allies in Tyler and Jacob. Vilma is also on this tribe, I'm thinking we might be able to use her as a target due to how strong she is in challenges and that we wouldn't want to take her to merge. I have spent some time cultivating new relations with Emily and Vilma, Chatted a little with Ginger and now trying to chat with Liana. Need to find out where votes are going. Immunity Challenge: Why are the big challenges like this when Im at work for most of the time. I can get most of these selfies and videos, unfortunately I wont be able to get to a Zoo, Beach or Airport for some of these points :( Flags apparently don't exist in South Australia either... WTF?!?! A bit concerned with amount of black spaces in out hunt, hopefully during the night it will pick up again. Time zones are making it difficult to chat with people, but I will continue to try :D 

So you would be thinking that with a tribe swap you'd have a breath of fresh air meeting new people and having challenges in a new environment, it's actually quite the opposite. In this challenge so far only 3 out of 7 people have pulled their weight which is why we're likely to head to tribal sooner than we think. Having NA people on your tribe is so different because I'm 12 hours ahead of them, I sleep when they wake up, they sleep when I wake up. 

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I must move forward with some sort of plan even though I'm trying to take it round at a time, Stephen and I aren't going anywhere. Originally I wanted Veni gone seeing he's a threat and could go back to OG Faatasi at the merge. But after thinking about it, he's a THREAT. He's the meat shield that I need to get further in this game - if I work with him, even at the merge, the target will be on him and all the heat will be of me (unless he wins immunity). EITHER WAY (dnnyys says that a lot) there are more pros keeping Veni around till merge - doing well in challenges, having someone to talk to, plus veni is also part of the old community Michael, Jacob and I are in so if we all make it to merge something may happen? That's a maybe but the idea is keep Veni and gain his trust and his loyalty. He seems fine taking out anyone who isn't contributing so we'll just do that for the timebeing.

I am really sweating right now hopefully my tribemates actually post points. If not hopefully they don't vote me out as a challenge threat and keep me around. 

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Pat is rising in my power rankigs. Seems like a really chill dude with a heart for trying stuff. 

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Allan and Clash are being kinda bad at talking to me. I want to stick with them but bleh. I don't know.. 

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Pat is my #1 in the power rankings

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Well I can't blame anyone specifically. And I got beat by 1 point by 2 differnet people. This is rather depressing.

This tribe is so much more inactive than Ala Mai... also we’re gonna lose this challenge. Sluggy says he wants to work with the US guys to take out the EU guys, but I’m thinking the opposite, for several reasons. First is the europeans timezone is closer to ours, so we have more time to talk. Another is the europeans are more active and social in general, and better in challenges. Finally.... I just don’t trust Sluggy, hes hard to read, he seems to be hard to work with cause he won’t let go of ideas :/ For now I’m gonna bide my time, see what develops, but if the opportunity to work with the europeans comes up Im definitely gonna consider it.

Um so this vote is gonna be real messy trust me I want to do sluggy but it might be Veni or randy and I honestly don’t know... I just hope whatever is done is done for the best and I stay safe 

Winning the challenge is great, but the lack of communication coming from Ginger and Liana is a little annoying. They seem to be very inactive, whereas Emily and Vilma are amazing. I actually like this tribe more than the original Ala Mai. I feel like Vilma and Emily were a good trade for Stephen and Sluggy. Sluggy and Stephen were great and reliable, but Vilma and Emily are more active and seem to have a much more bubbly personality. 

Things are looking alright this vote. I will have to betray someone either way so that sucks. I am bad @ Randy though for the 6 points. 

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I believe the current plan is, EU and AUS/Sluggy unite against Pat and Randy. In case of idol we split the votes 3-2-2. 3 being on Randy. 

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I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge I wanna make merge

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So like genuinely I really like Pat Sluggy and Stephen more than the rest of tribe in terms of working together and such but like, the OG tribe lines are really bugging me. If I at some point vote out Allan or Clash then I lose potential trust from Ginger and Vilma maybe and definitely from Allan/Clash depending whoever goes. I want to tell Pat the alleged plan so I really hope it does not backfire. I am uncertain yet. 

So we expectedly lost the challenge and now we have to go to tribal. Stephen and I are in the middle of the OG Faatasi and OG Salotaoga (is that how you spell it?). Anyways my original plan was to go for the europeans because if we get small in numbers the europeans can as a force of 3 pick us off, but now because of what happened in the challenge and Randy's performance people like Stephen and Veni wanna vote Randy off. I've made my case to Stephen and it really comes to a cost benefit analysis for him and I and I'm honestly looking at it from a long term point of view, hope it pays off.

Getting bad vibes from the vote. I mean honestly as long as it's not me go nuts

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I am really struggling with what information to give to people

today i went to counseling then ate a biscuit for lunch. and i want to host a bachelorette org. nothing is happening in the game tho because guess what MY TRIBE WONNNNNNNN THE CHALLLLLLENGGGGEEEEEEEEEE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i love this tribe because we can actually win things and people actually talk to me :-) also i shared my idol guesses with vilma & liana and they shared back. either way i think it’s already found. i just wanna find the spot that it’s at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just so i know know know for sure

This week has been very interesting. Coming with randy was exactly what I wanted so that I know I could trust my old tribemate and he’ll vote with me no problem. I just hosted a game with clash in it and we clicked instantly and both had the same excited energy when coming into this tribe and seeing each other. Me him and randy have all formed an alliance and then also have another alliance including Allan, whom I enjoy a lot, we’re planning an attack on veni/sluggy tonight because Veni is playing to hard too fast and it’s super obvious. He’s also super close with vilma (who I already perceived as a massive threat) and ginger. So voting out veni prevents Veni from going back to those two and telling them everything that happened. We get to form the narrative 

Okay so I have a lot to talk about and very little time to do so, let's get into it: So at the start of this week (after immunity) Us Europeans decided it would be a good idea to team up with the Australians and get Randy out. However, my first issue came up with Sluggy said he had to "check with Veni and Stephen". That immediately set off alarm bells with me because why would Sluggy have to check with Veni?? Then, Veni brings up some plan to split the votes in case of an idol. Splitting the votes seemed like the dumbest idea I'd heard of and everything started to sound suspicious af so Clash and I got together and decided to work with the Americans to make sure we would be safe. While we're doing all this, Veni makes about 4 alliances (All without me) promising final 2's and stuff. I'm honestly so done with him so we've all (hopefully) decided to vote him out. If I'm wrong then I guess my game is tanked but right now I feel good. 

So the name of this round is “Is Veni a Snakey-Snake?” The answer is yes. Clash tells me he has alliances with everyone, so we’re gonna vote him out. Gonna double check my facts first tho 

Hello this stupid european freak thinks he can outplay the greatest america player in history aka me so im just j chilling in this tribe when we swapped. and like this aussie sluggy rat comes to me and is like "american and aussies work together" and i said ok cool. and then i went on inactive mode because i didnt want to talk to anybody. then we had an immunity challenge and i didnt compete at all for it practically because i hated the challenge! but nobody else did stellar so it didnt matter. so we lost immunity, i get told real quick by pat and clash that the europeans want 3 votes on me while aussies do 2 votes on pat. we wanted to mix that up so originally we were going to vote together as 3 and just take Slugg out. But then we added Allan so we had four votes Then veni decides to heat up  his fucking crack pipe and take 4 hits before messaging me. Telling me things like "pats getting out, fix it" and "hey  i really trust you! hopefully you make merge". like stupid shady shit that doesnt look good so i g o to the alliance and i said vote veni out now we're about to go to tribal and we're going to see if the american brat gets his way. wish me luck

For those who think I wasted an idol I technically did but remember I just woke up to hear my name that Veni, my second closest ally in the tribe wants me gone and is rallying others to vote me off, so if Veni had Pat and Randy and got one more to flip I would have definitely gone home. It was definitely scary and I'm not afraid to admit I was scared and shaking in front of my computer, but I made up my mind about playing it since half an hour before tribal so. I guess now is the real test to see if I can make it further in the game without any sort of extra protection on my back, but Veni was a sneaky guy despite being not fluent in his speaking.

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Veni a huge threat is gone when I wanted to take him to the merge to use as a shield but that didn't work. That goes to show how important it is to make sure you're not playing hard in the first few parts of the game, but timing is really key in this game, and i gotta pick the right timing to strike and when to back off.

Woooohoo! We wonn!! I'm so happy to have a night off. I am loving this tribe switch and have liked everyone I have talked to so far. I think we just got the power tribe both with challenges and socially. Emily actually shared where she has searched for an idol with me so we could cover more ground. It makes me sus of maybe her and someone else working together on Saratoga. (although maybe they were all just social flops) I'm still really happy I found an idol on the first try because I feel like I look semi inactive (always working) so no one would suspect it would be me who has the idol. My plan is to maybe blame Ruthie? Idk i haven't thought it through yet, but she definitely seems like someone who would find an idol first. Anyway my lying has already started because I told Emily how frustrating it is to have so many combinations to make it seem like I don't have it.

Uhhhhh so we swapped. Immediately I was excited to be on a tribe with Emily, because I've heard she's super nice and people were absolutely right she really is!!!! I like everyone on my new tribe to be fair, but I'm kinda spooked because Ginger is the only og Faatasi who swapped with me and I've been performing fairly well in challenges so I'm scared I will be targeted fast if I end up going to tribal with these guys. I'm glad Ginger and I have a good relationship though, plus he is super social (unlike me) so hopefully he can help me in that regard and use his social skills to build new bonds. Obviously I'm trying my best to do that too but I'm not too convinced in my ability to succeed at that. It's just a lot. I'm too introverted all I wanna do is keep to myself and hide in my cave even though I know that's not smart. I've chatted some with everyone though and they all seem nice.... But yeah I could definitely step up my social game some. Emily and I have been sharing our idol guesses and Ginger told me he is becoming close with Tyler and Emily... We'll see how things develop from here. Personally I've enjoyed talking to Emily and Michael the most. Plus Michael seems to be quite a challenge threat as well, I'm hoping he would like to keep me in as his shield. That's what I'm gonna try to pitch for at least, if we ever end up in tribal. We won the scavenger hunt challenge which was neat because I love scavenger hunts. I went all out in the challenge ONCE AGAIN and tbh we need to talk about my threat level in a bit but first let's have a Moment of Silence for my NUMBER ONE ALLY VENI WHO GOT VOTED OUT ON FAATASI AND I'M VERY UPSETTI SPAHGETTI. :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''( VENI ROBBED HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. I'm so shocked even Clash and Allan turned on him and I NEED SOME EXPLANATIONS. I'm dying to know what happened there. I really wonder if Faatasi threw the challenge to get rid of him, but Sluggy played his idol though, so he must have thought for real there was a chance he was going home tonight?? That's what confuses me. But it's cool to know he had the og Ala Mai idol and it confirmed my suspicions that it had already been claimed thanks to all the reward challenge clues they got. I wonder if it will be rehidden now though... Doesn't hurt to try and search anyway, I guess? But yeah let's talk about the fact how screwed I am if I ever go to tribal with this tribe. Veni going was definitely a reality check for me, and now I feel super uncertain about my own position in the game. For some reason everyone and their mother seems to think I'm a big threat and I guess it's mostly due to me performing well in challenges and that SUCKS. Because music videos and scavenger hunts happen to be my two favorite challenges and I simply don't know how to hold myself back when it comes to them. Dennis asking me the threat question at first tribal plus the judges hyping me up in the music video challenge definitely didn't help my case either ugh ily guys but I'm in TROUBLE. KAJSHDKAHF. But to be fair I've always done middle tier / poorly in flash game challenges, I feel like my challenge threat status isn't completely accurate. Most of the immunity challenges so far have been those kind where those who put in the most effort have been rewarded (Music videos, The 24 hour challenge, Scavenger hunt). I've done well in those because 1. I happen to love 66% of those challenges and 2. I have no life. But if we had skill- or luck-based challenges like flash games or puzzles I don't think I'd perform very well at those at all. Even Ginger told me I need to stop performing so well in challenges and I agree with him. But I'm just scared it might already be too late now. Also challenges are genuinely the part I enjoy the most in orgs, I hate the backstabbing and socializing, so it feels stupid to restrict myself from enjoying the game just to do better at it... Ugh. What an internal struggle. I hope the next challenge will be something I naturally suck at so I don't even have to think about it.

[therealestatesparkblog]

How Adopting 7 Kids at Once Led Me to Launch My Real Estate Investing Career

The truth is that I did not get involved in real estate in a meaningful way until later in my life. I have been a chiropractic physician for 29 years, but Im really an entrepreneur at heart. I have started or purchased six multi-discipline medical clinics in my career and have been involved in a number of other businesses. None, however, have matched the combination of relative safety and potential returns afforded by real estate. Still, for some reason, I could never pull the trigger and launch my real estate investing career. Unfortunately I sat on the sidelines for a number of years. I hoped to get started but never did. Like many of you, I read Robert Kiyosakis Rich Dad Poor Dadand a few other real estate books, but it wasnt enough. Looking back now, I can point to several life events that lit a fire under me and finally got me off the bench and into the game. Over the past few years, I have flipped a couple houses, owned a small apartment complex, developed a large commercial retail strip center, syndicated a 125-door multifamily townhome complex, and am just finishing the co-syndication of a large self-storage deal. I am in my 50s and wish I had started earlier. No matter your age, though, if you are procrastinating like I did, hopefully you can use one or more of the following five steps to get started. 5 Steps to Launch Your Real Estate Career1. Find your passion. Twenty years ago, my wife and I became interested in adoption. We had two biological kids at the time and wanted to adopt a third child. While working with an organization that facilitated the adoption of Eastern European orphans, we heard about a sibling group of seven Russian children that the Russian government was going to split up and send to three different countries. My wife decided she would make it her personal mission to find a family that could keep these siblings from being separated. The idea of someone taking that many kids into their home blew us away, and we made a list of all of our friends and acquaintances that we thought might be able to afford such a monumental task. The Russian government announced they would be separating the children in a few months. As the date approached with no takers in sight, we began to ask ourselves if there was any way we could adopt them ourselves. Its a very long story, but fast forward to August of 1988. We were told at the U.S. Embassy that we had completed the single largest adoption in U.S./Russian history (at a single time). It was a big culture shock to bring seven Russian speaking kids into our home for sure. But the real shock was just around the corner when the financial reality of our decision began to hit home. Nine sets of clothing, nine bikes, nine soccer teams, nine college educations, nine weddingsyou get the picture. The financial pressure began to build. I rapidly set out on a course to produce more income. I started or purchased six different medical clinics. I developed anathletic club, which eventually grew to 1,500 members. I purchased a sports performance enhancement franchise. And we even started a coffee shop/deli. Some produced more cash flow than others, but the one problem all those businesses had in common was that they took immense amounts of my personal time. I was fairly successful at creating additional income, but I was killing myself. My family life was suffering. I quickly realized working 70-80 hours a week would not work. There are few things that I am more passionate about than my family, so I threw myself into a massive search for ways to create passive income. It was this search that eventually led me to real estate. You can do the same thing. Figure out what you are passionate about. Focus on the end results. Getfired up and use that passion to fuel your real estate dreams.

Related: If I Started My Real Estate Business Again Today, THIS is What Id Change 2. Harness fear. As humans, nothing makes us react quite like fear. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. There are literally hundreds of types of fears and phobiasfear of pain, of disease, of injury, of tight spaces, of rejection, and of failure, to name a few. People will do just about anything to avoid their fears. If they are forced to face fear, they go into fight or flight mode or they are paralyzed by fear and do nothing at all. Fortunately, a random encounter with a couple of patients changed my investing mindset forever. It was March 6, 2009, and the stock market was in the final throes of its great crash. I walked into a treatment room, and there sat a patient with tears streaming down his face. It was odd because this was a big burly guy who had just retired from a local factory and was a pretty tough character. I soon found out he was not crying because of his back or neck pain but because he had just lost almost all of his retirement savings in the stock market. Apparently, this gentleman had taken his retirement payments as a lump sum and had recently dumped it all in the market. As he sat on my exam table, he explained how in a few short days, he had lost more than 70 percent of his retirement savings, and those savings had taken him 40 years to amass! I am not usually at a loss for words, but nothing in my medical training could have prepared me for that moment. A couple of days later, I was seeing another patient. Mrs. Smith (not her real name) was a 50-something retired school teacher and seemed to be in a better mood than normal. I noticed her cheerfulness and asked her why she seemed so happy. She went on to explain how she and her husband had taken all of their retirement funds out of the stock market about a year previously and had used the funds to buy rental property. Their rentals were leased, and frankly, they were really enjoying retirement. Fortunate to have gotten out of the market when they did, this new landlord was not affected by the downturn in the markets at all. I had really never trusted the stock market. I mean, with the almost-daily headlines of one major bank after another caught cheating their clients or gaming the system somehow, this ladys message really hit home with me. Even so, I had always been too afraid of missing out on that once-in-a-lifetime Amazon or Microsoft stock pick to shift my investing away from the stock market. Right then and there, it finally hit home. When it came to real estate, I was afraid to make a mistake that would cost me money. Since I was not sure when or where to start, I just sat doing nothing for years. I had analysis paralysis, but I realized I was much more scared of ending up like my first patient, crying in a doctors office somewhere having lost the majority of my retirement. I finally made a commitment that real estate would be my investment vehicle of choice. 3. Find your motivation. A few years back, an MRI revealed I had a torn rotator cuff, torn labrum, and arthritis in my shoulder. Decades of occupational abuse and years of chasing baseball scholarships had taken their toll. My orthopedic physician announced I could either give up my chiropractic career immediately, or in about four years, I would need a shoulder replacement. Suddenly, I was heading toward for an untimely retirement. I was shocked. I had dedicated the last 29 years of my life to helping people heal. My entire identity was tied up in being a healthcare provider. At the same time, Obamacare was rapidly eroding away my practice of two-plus decades. I had no idea what I would do, but knew I needed a plan and needed one quick. After much angst and a considerable amount of prayer, I decided it was time to jump in with both feet. I still have a medical practice, but am working full-time on a plan to exit healthcare as soon as possible. Even though I didnt recognize it at the time, life circumstances helped me find my motivation. Each individual has their own unique mix of life experiences and desires that fuel their drive for success. For some, its the thought of a penniless retirement. For others, it is the commitment to never let their children grow up in poverty (like they did). Some people say that success is a lake home or traveling the world. Others have an altruistic motivation to give back to those less fortunate. There are 1,001 books on ramping up personal motivation. For me, however, it boils down to a very simple concept: Focusing on my goals 10 times more than I focus on the roadblocks. Every time I run up against what seems like an insurmountable roadblock, I pull out my list of goals and focus on what I want to accomplish. Time spent focusing on what matters most turbocharges my motivation levels. The roadblocks seem to work themselves out. Whats your motivation? Related: How to Jumpstart Your Investing Career as a Multifamily Deal Finder 4. Hire a mentor. Every athlete from t-ball to the big leagues has a coach. They need someone they can learn from who is more experienced. Someone who knows the ins and outs of the game. Its no different in real estate. If you are serious about learning the craft, you need to find someone to teach you the ropes. When I finally got serious, I hired a mentor. I knew if I spent my hard-earned money on a program, I would take it seriously. There are lots of mentors and training programs on BiggerPockets. For me, I knew the more expensive the program, the more commitment I was likely to have. I am not talking about a weekend seminar with a few handouts. I chose a company called 37th Parallel Properties. Their program is a comprehensive year-long mentorship. It includes visits to real assets across the country (much like getting an MBA in multifamily investing). Dont get me wrongnot everyone needs to pay for a mentor, but dont attempt to go it alone. Learn from someone elses mistakes. Its one of the many reasons I am such a big fan of BiggerPockets. You can learn so much just by hanging out in the community and reading the advice of experienced investors. Whether you hope to invest in single family homes, self-storage units, large multifamily communities, or mobile home parks, there is always someone with expertise willing to share.

5.Leverage the experience of others. Maybe you dont need to change careers like me. Maybe you just want to use commercial real estate to turbocharge your portfolio. Maybe you just want to be a passive investor and have very little interest in toilets, tenants, and trash. If you are an accredited or sophisticated investor, syndicated deals may be the best approach for you. Some companies offer syndicated real estate investments. They specialize in sourcing lucrative real estate assets and packaging them up for passive investors. They typically underwrite the project, perform all due diligence, line up debt, and complete the purchase. The companies then operate and oversee these assets so that their investors can realize great profits minus the headaches. Choosing a company that you feel comfortable with is the key to any syndicated investment. While it is a much quicker way to jump into the fray, be careful! Take your time and choose the specific deal and syndicator carefully. Ask lots of questions and always check references. So, what is holding you back? Whats it going to take to get you off the sidelines? Dont procrastinate like I did! Hey, if an old chiropractor can do it

What motivation led to your first investment? What did your journey there look like? Take a moment to share what it took to make your first real estate investment! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/seven-child-adoption-launch-real-estate-career