#like not to overshare a second but like. fucking hello.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

like. its so fucking crazy though. its becoming so so rapidly clear how absolutely fucked it is iwas raised th way i was n Nobody Noticed. not even me. like damn i thought i was doing a fine enough job but apparently Being Hopelessly Reliant On A Perceived "Authority" is, as they say, Kind Of Fucked Up. like it really Does feel like this all came outta fucken nowhere, regarding the. horrors. but th more i think abt it the more its just repeatedly 'Ah. They Should Not Have Done That To A Child.' like ah. ok. ok. cool.

like its not that big a deal but the fact that i still think that is in and of itself, again, Kind Of Fucked Up.

"you never do anything, you used to be so good, you had everything going for you and everything, what happened?" 1) Whose fault do you think that is, 2) Are You For Fucking Real Right Now ??? Ill Kill Y

#girl help!!!! local dog raised to have so many complexes theres barely any human underneath it!!!!!! #piktalk #fucking hell. btwn that last post n the fucking dog training one going around; just. fuck me up i guess. #'yeah that punishment training model just makes a time bomb of a dog that no longer shows discomfort before it attacks.' #some fucking thing miles away: '^w^ haha i just suddenly violently want to bite things for no reason. with 100% strength yeah. its cool.' #like not to overshare a second but like. fucking hello. #scrubbing layers of paint off thinking iwas th same color th whole time and its. orange. purple. turquoise. yellow. magenta. girl what

[eilishalways]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

all you wanna do is kiss me

summary: billie eilish runs into her crush at the grammys 😻

warnings: a LOTTTT of blushing LMAO

a/n: so billie came out???!!!?? also - part two is out!!

billie was nervous. very nervous. not because she was at the grammy awards, but because you were gonna there. billie had a massive crush on you. since 6 months ago. it was all because of one cheeky insta post you had made. billie remembers freaking out when she saw it, and that’s when she knew. you two had talked to eachother at events before but weren’t actually friends or anything like that. billie was really hoping that something would change tonight.

as she took her seat beside finneas at the table, she half hoped you’d be on the other side of the hall, and half hoped you’d be sat beside her. the second part of her was happy. as you sat down, billie tried to suppress her giddy smile. she quickly noticed though, your perfume. musky and wet - you were wearing eilish no 2. billie freaked out in her head knowing that YOU were wearing HER perfume.

“hey billie!” you said. billie said hello back, and you greeted the rest of the table. “how are you?” you asked billie, a smile forming on your face. billie blushed slightly and replied, “i’m good - kinda nervous though. how about you?” “i’m nervous too. i really hope i win something tonight.” you laughed. last year’s grammys had been a bad one for you - you didn’t win anything. “i’m sure you’re gonna sweep it tonight,” billie reassured you, “your album was fucking amazing. i was listening on repeat for a week after it released.” she laughed, before regretting the oversharing she had done. you seemed eased though, and thanked billie for her support.

a waiter came round with flutes of champagne. you reached one, and billie did the same. you both reached for the same one, before billie removed her hand from your hand and grabbed a different one. you both laughed but you were both left blushing. billie didn’t notice this though.

“i like your dress.” billie said to you, trying to keep the conversation going. you smiled at her and replied “thank you!! i wasn’t sure if i liked it too much, but my stylist insisted. i’m so glad you like it.” billie blushed again at your comment, and became hyper aware of how red she must be at that point. you two continued to talk about your outfits, hair & makeup until a photographer came up to your table looking for photos. everyone at the table smiled for the group photos before the man moved on to taking photos of pairs. he waited to get a picture of you and billie until he was done, and billie tried not to all out scream when you pushed yourself into her arm to get in frame. the man went on to the next table, but you remained on her arm for a few seconds, saying to her “you look really good, by the way.”

billie was about to lose her cool at that point, so she was excused herself to the bathroom. she came back just in time for the awards to start being presented. she hasn’t put anything out that year, so she wasn’t nominated for anything, but she watched as the winners received their awards and made their speeches. the night was nearly finished and the final, biggest award of the night had its nominees announced - album of the year. you were among one of the nominees, alongside some very big names. you didn’t think you had any chance at all, but billie reassured you that everything would be fine.

“and the winner is… y/n l/n - (album name)!” the woman announcing the award said. you screamed in delight, and hugged billie. you slowly made your way up to the stage, accepted the award, and started your speech. you thanked your team, family, friends - all the usual stuff. but then, you thanked billie. you said into the mic “and i wanna say thank you to billie eilish. girl, you’re one of my biggest inspirations. i love you. i wear your perfumes every day! and thank you for being my hype girl tonight!!”, and then you walked off stage and back to your seat. you winked at billie before she blurted out “can i have your number?”

#eilishalways #billie eilish #billie eilish x reader

[esmerxyaugusta]

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

✩ rae ✩ lesbian ✩ she/they ✩ 15 ✩ tlou fan ✩ voltron fan ✩ marvel obsessed ✩

hello!! welcome to my blog, i'm rae! on this blog i post my random ass thoughts/rambles and roleplay and more? i get attached to fictional characters/shows/movies a little bit too much. you'll most likely see me ramble on about that... i'll be on this blog when i'm supposed to be studying or something, i don't know at this point...

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

side blog/s:

@ghostsofmera : i rarely use this but i guess it's still here?!? (writing blog)

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⋆ basic info ⋆

⋆ 15 ⋆ libra ⋆ lesbian ⋆ istp-t ⋆ mentally unstable :) ⋆ introvert (but can't stop talking once i get to know you) ⋆ overthinker and oversharer ⋆ sarcasm is my second language ⋆ i can not speak or spell english for the life of me ⋆ watched the black widow movie 8 times ⋆ werid ⋆ short ⋆ procrastinator, my best friend ⋆ goofy af ⋆

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

⋆ interests/hobbies ⋆

→ music → listening to music → crying about how i'm alive → biology especially parasites! → drawing → writing → scrolling through pinterest → staring at people's cooking vlogs → eating food → garlic bread! → sleeping → reading books → reading fanfics → poetry → playing my violin → food videos → scrolling through expensive sh*t and crying over it → billie ellish → mother mother → neuro stuff → classical music → science

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

⋆ obsessing over ⋆

⋆ movies/tv shows: the last of us, any marvel movie, voltron: legendary defenders, agents of shield, stumptown, jazz for two, to my star, the sleepover, avatar: the last air bender, the legend of korra ⋆ the mandalorian ⋆ jessica jones ⋆ daredevil ⋆

⋆ artists: billie ellish, mother mother, classic music, gracie abrams, cigarettes after sex, girl in red ⋆

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

⋆ women ⋆

⋆ scarlett johansson ⋆ natasha romanoff ⋆ cobie smulders ⋆ maria hill ⋆ ming na wen ⋆ melinda may ⋆ brie larson ⋆ carol danvers ⋆ shane mccutcheon ⋆ women ⋆

→ i have nothing to say, no words

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

dm's are open!

if my existence is bothering you.... fuck off b*tch!

anyways....have a great day/night, whatever

rae <3

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

#blog intro #intro post #abt me <3

[delicris]

hey doll

32 and 38 for the ask game <3

hello there, love <3 i'm putting these under the cut because i overshare and they got too fucking long skhdfjsk

32: What words upset me the most

what upsets me the most is when people tell me to stop making up excuses when i'm trying to explain my situation to them. they always ask for the reasoning and then when i try to give it, i'm talked over and not listened to. it's the most frustrating thing ever, why would they ask for the reasoning if they're not even going to give me five seconds... just say you want me to take the blame and fuck off, WHY IS IT SO HARD I DON'T UNDERSTAND also, in general getting talked over pisses me so much, i don't mind when it's w friends and we're all having a good conversation and we're kinda finishing each other's sentences and helping each other out w the thought process and w finding the right words, but it happens so much in my class istg, and it never fails to make my blood reach the boiling point SO FAST, why can't they wait for their turn to speak, why do they feel the need to fucking interrupt me OR LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE like... who tf do they think they r?? that's just the tip of the iceberg, obviously i get upset when people r hateful and not considerate and simply shit on others and spread lies just because they think they can, but i feel like that's obvious but i could go on and on, there r so many things that people say that make me do a double take fr

38: My childhood career choice

this one's kinda funny because i wanted to be a doctor, preferably a surgeon, HOWEVER, my mother has forbidden me to pursue that dream because she went to med highschool and didn't want me to go through a similar experience (do i think it's actually because she never got the opportunity to study medicine at uni?? perhaps... we're a weird little family, you see)... so i thought i'd be a writer or a translator or an english teacher or literally anything within the language fields, but then i realized i wouldn't be the best teacher out there and i was also scared of not having a stable job which i kinda need because i was never really planning on having a traditional family, so i thought hard about my future career and... kinda ended up right where i started?? basically, i'm planning on studying paramedicine, instead of general medicine because it's also one of the careers i wanted to do as a kid, u only need a bachelor's degree for it and i honestly think i wouldn't finish my studies if i were to study for more than that AND i can get a stable job out of it that i'm almost sure will be fulfilling and paid good enough for me to live somewhat comfortably

do i realize these r long af and that i give out info that wasn't asked?? yes, but this is my house (leave ur shoes at the front door, please and thank u)

#sheba tag <3 #delicris ask #ask game yayy

[bazwillendinflames]

Second Chances (Dylan/Ryan)

When Dylan accidentally overshares his meet cute on his college radio show, the listeners are suddenly invested in his love life. Meanwhile, Ryan is intrigued by his not-so-secret admirer.

When a second chance meeting occurs, will they be able to work it out?

Read on Ao3

Word count: 2423

“I’d take you a lot more seriously if you didn’t fall in love with a hot stranger every week.” 

“Um rude.” It had been at least two weeks since Dylan had last shared his romantic woes with Kaitlyn. “Anyway this wasn’t any hot stranger. He was the one, I could tell.” 

“Oh boy,” Kaitlyn said, taking a long, noisy sip of her iced coffee. “Did you actually talk to this mystery stranger? Or did you just stare like a creep whilst planning your wedding?” 

“Yeah. I mean, words were exchanged. And no one talks on the subway!” Dylan found himself smiling again. Sue him, he was a hopeless romantic. 

“Holy shit. That’s a big step for you.” Kaitlyn seemed genuinely proud of him, which hurt more than her usual sarcasm. “Fine. Tell me about this guy.” 

That was all the encouragement that Dylan needed. He leaned forward. “So, we’re on the train and it comes to a stop with a big screech. And the train announcement says some crackly garbage. And I go ‘anyone able to translate?’” 

“Hilarious,” Kaitlyn said dryly. 

Dylan waved a hand in her direction. “Shush. Let me finish. And then this guy sitting on the other side of the carriage laughs. He laughs at my joke and we make some pretty intense eye contact.” 

“Oh boy.” 

“By the way, this guy, absolutely gorgeous. We’re talking tall, dark and handsome. We’re talking cool punk vibes. He was even wearing a Cult Damage shirt. Hello, hot and good taste in music. We were meant to be.” 

“That’s it?” Kaitlyn asked. “Someone laughed at your lame joke.”

Dylan rolled his eyes. “No. He also said ‘bad day to forget my earbuds’. And then the train started up again.” 

“And now he’s the one?” Kaitlyn asked. “Dude, no.” 

“You mock me now, but…” Dylan stopped half way through his sentence, noticing the red on air sign. “Oh fuck.” 

“What?” Kaitlyn asked. She looked over at the sign too. “Uh, how long has that been on?” 

Dylan had already pressed the nearest button and the next queued up Arctic Monkeys song played. Double checking the mic was actually off this time, he ripped off his headphones and buried his head in his hands. 

“I’m a fucking idiot.” 

“No,” Kaitlyn said. She patted his back. “It was just a little mistake. Look, it’s live college radio, how many people will have actually heard… all that?” 

“I quit.” 

“No you don’t,” Kaitlyn said. “Put your headphones back on, the song is almost over.” 

Dylan pulled himself together, taking a deep breath and getting back into the mindset of funny radio host Dylan. 

“Sorry about that guys,” Kaitlyn said smoothly, “just a few technical problems. But next up we’ll be playing ‘guess that professor’ so get ready…” 

 “So, I’ve heard you are quite the heartbreaker.” Laura grinned at him. “One look and you have them enamoured.” 

She had heard the radio thing too then. “It might not have been me he was talking about.” 

“We both know that it totally was,” Laura said. “It’s fine, I’ll keep you anonymous. Take it as a compliment. You have a secret admirer.” 

“Who does?” Max joined them a moment later, dropping a pile of books on the table with a thud. “Should I be jealous, hun?” 

“You haven’t heard? Ryan has a secret admirer.” 

“It’s not exactly a secret. He said it on the radio and everyone knows who runs the station. It’s on the school website.” 

“Oh wait, you’re the stranger on the train that Dylan Lenivy is in love with?” Max asked. “Good for you dude.” 

“Maybe you should call in?” Laura suggested. 

Even the idea left him modified. “Absolutely not.” 

She smiled. “I’m just teasing.” 

“Anyway, it’s not like he’s not in love with me,” Ryan said. He picked at the black nail varnish on his fingers. He would have brought his fidget cube if he knew she’d bring it up. “It was more of a funny story, ‘oh I’m so hopeless, I’m thinking about someone I met once’ thing.” 

“Take it as a compliment,” Max said, “of anyone he could have chosen to gush about on the radio, he chose you.”

“It’s probably worse for him,” Laura added, “no one has figured it out but us.” “How did you figure it out?” Ryan asked. 

“The band he mentioned. You’re probably the only two people our age who listen to your indie 70s rock.” 

“Hey, for that reason alone, you’re probably soulmates,” Max joked. “I’m going to grab a coffee, you guys want one?” 

Ryan already had one but Laura followed Max up to the counter, the two of them laughing together at something. They made the high school sweetheart thing look easy. It did leave him feeling a little like a third wheel. 

As he waited alone, he found himself thinking back to the radio show. Beyond it being embarrassing to be called out like that, even accidentally, he was intrigued. 

Ryan remembered the moment. He had been trying to figure out the tattoo on his arm, left with nothing to do but people watch with his headphones back at his dorm. He’d thought he been caught out staring, but the cute stranger had smiled at him and made a dumb joke. Maybe Ryan would have said something if he had connected the moment to the same radio station he liked listening to during his morning shifts. He always liked the music they played. 

Not that it would have gone well. He wasn’t good at talking to people. Maybe Dylan would have told the story with the added twist of him ruining any allure with his awkwardness. 

Ryan doubted it, Dylan always seemed so nice. Not that he actually knew him beyond hearing his show. But maybe he wanted to. 

Not that he’d admit it to Laura. 

  Dylan’s little college radio project had started when he was a freshman. He’d always like technical stuff and the idea of getting paid to goof around for a few hours every morning had seemed fun. Kaitlyn had been running it for the last two years and had given a surprisingly intense interview before announcing he started the next day. The forced proximity of having to spend four hours a day had made them fast friends. 

He knew they had some regular listeners, half of his conversations at parties started with ‘aren't you that radio guy’ or ‘I know your voice’. Kaitlyn basically bullied all their friends into tuning in at least once a week and occasionally joining them. 

But now it seemed like half of campus had listened to his embarrassing rant about his crush. Emma had started calling him Romeo and it had quickly caught on. And once Kaitlyn had used the same corny nickname on air, that’s all he was known for. 

Even Mr H, the radio manager, had picked it up. 

“Remember what I said about swearing on air Romeo.” 

So literally everyone knew. 

“I brought you a coffee.” Kaitlyn practically shoved the cup at him. “It’s got oat milk.” 

“You’re being nice to me,” Dylan noted suspiciously. “Why are you being nice to me?” 

“Because it sucks to wake up at six in the morning.” Kaitlyn sipped her own coffee. “Also, sorry about not being supportive.” 

“It’s fine. I’m sure all the teasing will pass.” Dylan could only hope. “I mean it’s good for ratings right?” 

“Yeah. I keep getting suggestions to record our programme. I guess people are invested.” 

“Well I don’t have updates,” he said. His subway experience had been hot stranger free, which was probably for the best. 

“Best not to encourage it,” Kaitlyn agreed. “Come one, we start in ten, we better pick the songs. No more Mitski though.”

“She’s my comfort listening,” Dylan said. 

“One song,” Kaitlyn agreed, “and that’s only because I feel sorry for you.” 

“I’ll take it.” 

  Ryan spent most of his shifts with one earbud in, stacking books at the campus bookstore whilst a steady mix of podcasts, music and radio played. Although the latter was a new addition to his routine. 

Ryan kept listening to the station. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for - he hadn’t seen Dylan again, even though he was trying to be more alert on the subway. He had been cataloguing all the music mostly, Max’s mention of musical soulmates in mind. 

From their banter, he could usually guess who picked which song. Kaitlyn seemed to like more pop music - she always played at least one Taylor Swift song, along with a rotation of other upbeat music. Dylan was into more indie bands. He had recognised Ryan’s Cult Damage shirt but as far as Ryan could tell, he hadn’t actually played any of their songs. Maybe obscure 70s grunge didn’t fit with the vibe of Walking On Sunshine. 

Dylan wasn’t on air today though. Kaitlyn was joined by Jacob, who had hosted last year. The two of them were making some inside joke about an old cereal that Ryan had never heard of. Whatever the punchline was, he missed completely, because he just realised why Dylan wasn’t on air. 

He was in the book shop. Ryan hid behind a shelf, which wasn’t very professional of him, but helped with his suddenly racing heart. He pulled out his earbud and tucked it into his shirt. He took a steadying breath. He considered hiding in the back and calling Laura, but Dylan had already stepped into the store and seen him. 

Judging by the carefully masked expression he had, Ryan would bet Dylan was banking on him either not remembering him from the subway or having heard the radio, or the rumours around it. Unfortunately for Dylan, Ryan remembered both incidents well. 

“Hi, can I help you find anything?” He asked. He shoved the books he was meant to be putting out onto the nearest shelf. 

“Um…” Dylan dragged it out for a little too long. “Sciences?” 

“It’s on the shelf behind you,” Ryan said. As soon as Dylan turned around, he sped walked away and stood behind the counter, tapping his nails against the plastic table. 

Whilst Dylan was browsing the books, or at least pretending to, Ryan took out his phone and texted Laura.

 I can’t talk right now but Dylan Lenivy is in the store

I might be panicking 

Ok, just remember to breathe

It’s probably more awkward for him than you 

Max says play dumb 

I don’t know

I feel pretty awkward (unsent)

 “Hey.” 

Ryan jumped, almost dropping his phone in the process. He shoved it under a pile of loose postcards and hoped Dylan wasn’t the nosey type. “Hey. Did you find everything?” 

“Yeah.” He seemed grateful for the small talk. 

Ryan ran through his books, both on some kind of physics that was so complicated he wouldn’t be able to decode the title. He went through the process of ringing him up on autopilot. There was a long pause as the till slowly spat out his receipt. 

“I heard you talk about me,” Ryan blurted out. 

Dylan went pink in the face. “Oh fuck me.” 

“Um. It was flattering I guess.” The receipt had stopped half way and Ryan punched the top of the till to get it going. “My friends keep calling you my secret admirer.” 

“It’s not exactly a secret,” Dylan replied. 

“Yeah. That’s what I said.” Ryan finally freed the receipt. “I like your taste in music.” 

“Oh thanks.” Dylan crumpled the receipt into a ball and shoved it and the books into his backpack. “I’m sorry. About objectifying you on live radio. It was an accident and like Kaitlyn said, I’m kinda a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the hopeless part.” 

“I’m pretty hopeless myself,” Ryan said. “I didn’t mean to blurt out the whole thing earlier.” 

“It’s fine. I’m the idiot who screwed up in the first place.” Dylan finally zipped up his bag. “Okay goodbye forever.” 

“Wait,” Ryan said, before his brain could catch up. “I like you too. I mean I like your show. It’s funny. You’re funny.” 

Dylan had gone past pink and was now very red. Ryan was certain he wasn’t helping. “Thanks. I’m pretty good at putting on funny Dylan. For the show. Obviously in real life I’m a hot mess.” 

“I like hot mess Dylan,” Ryan said. 

“It’s just Dylan Dylan,” he replied. “But feel free to call me hot again. Maybe even in public, you know, to even it out.” 

“Does Dylan Dylan like coffee?” 

He blinked and for a moment Ryan was concerned he had scared him off. 

“Yes. I love coffee. With you. If you’re asking.” 

Ryan wrote his number on the back of one of their free bookmarks. “Maybe call Ryan Ryan up to ask then?” 

Dylan smiled, taking it from him. “I will. I might not even make it out of the store before I do so. Sorry, that was lame. Yes.” 

He left the store and Ryan finally let out the nervous laughter he had been holding in. His phone buzzed. There were a few missed texts from Laura from ten minutes ago. 

 It’ll be fine

Ryan? Are you okay? 

I can come cover for you if want

I can only assume the worse from you not replying 

 He deleted his half finished text and sent a new one. 

 I’m okay

I think I accidentally asked him out 

 The most recent buzz was from an unknown number which Ryan saved as ‘Dylan Dylan’. 

 nice to meet you ryan ryan <3

i will try and be normal on our date 

(it was a date right?) 

  “Okay, it’s time for our request hour. I have already been told that we’re uninvited to brunch if we don’t play Emma’s new favourite song, so let’s kick it off with Natalie.” 

With the song on, Kaitlyn turned to him. “Um, spill.” 

“Because that went well last time?” 

“We’re off,” Kaitlyn said. “You are all smiles this week. What’s it about?”

“My platonic love for my favourite co-host?” Dylan winked at her. 

“Nope.” Kaitlyn crossed her arms. “Dylan, you love telling me your stupid crushes. Who's the newest?” 

“It’s an old stupid crush actually,” he said. “My little slip up actually worked out.” 

Kaitlyn punched his arm. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Dylan rubbed his arm. “I’m telling you now.” 

The song faded out and Dylan switched the mic back on. 

“That was Milk and Bone’s Natalie for Emma. Now, next up we have a request from a certain cute guy I met on the subway.” 

#the quarry #Ryan Erzahler #Dylan Lenivy #Ryan x Dylan #radio heads #the quarry fic

[davy-zeppeli]

1,7,69 mwuah!

HELLO!!!!!! Thank you for feeding my need to overshare 💚💕

1. The meaning behind my url:

'amber' = My name :)

'-' = common piece of punctuation, I am fond of it

'zeppeli' = Evidence I was a JJBA fan but c'mon that name fucks heavily

7. Biggest turn offs:

The universal one of 'British Lad Culture', Coconut-sympathisers (sorry guys), the British Conservative Party, socks and slider shoes, self-deprecating humour with the intent of generating sympathy and to make others feel bad to elevate yourself, y'know. Stuff.

69. Have you ever witnessed a crime?

I saw my neighbours get robbed once in my university house in second year (well, the aftermath - turns out they got in through their open back gate and windows... of our SHARED garden... but we had our doors and windows locked so we didn't get robbed...)?

Actually - I heard a crime being committed! My neighbour when I was in sixth-form was once getting aggressive with his girlfriend and I could hear them arguing clearly through the wall in my room (our rooms are connected). And then she began sounding very scared and telling him to get off her... and then I was like "oh fuck that's serious" and I called the police because I panicked and told them to keep it anonymous and then about 20 min later I heard his back gate rattle and he hurdled it because the police showed up and took his girlfriend in. AND THEN THE POLICE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND MY DAD ANSWERED. BRO I SAID ANONYMOUS. anyways my Dad then asked me to come downstairs and asked what I did and I told him what I heard and I felt like I was in trouble?? and my sister was like "If I did that you'd bollock me!" and tbh he would have but I have Baby Sibling Privilege - but my mam told me I did the right thing. Anyway he got took to court and done for it and he's actually really turned his life around now and he's still my parent's neighbour - he started his own scrap metal/handyman business and quit doing hard drugs and now only smokes weed and listens to dad rock. I once heard him having sex with a man through my bedroom wall. But yeah. Does that count?

...THANK YOU!!!!! 💚💕🌈🌟

#ily gina #ask #i love ask games so much

[moon-and-stars-appreciation]

Anxiety Attack Advice

Hello! I know this is probably too late for this time, but maybe it'll be helpful next time (hopefully there won't be a next time, but that's wishful thinking). I hope you're okay and feeling better now, though! :)

Well, firstly, you have the classic methods like:

- the 3-3-3 method - focus on three things you can see around you, then focus on three things you can hear around you, then focus on three things you can feel. This should help you ground you and hopefully slow your spiralling.

- breathing. It sounds dumb, I know, and it's really not easy, but you should try to concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing. Breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, then out through your mouth for 4 seconds.

- relaxing your muscles- it helps relieve stress and can stop the panic attack. Slowly unclench you hand and let your finger go limp. Then your palm. Then your wrist. Then your forearm. And so on and so on. Keep going until your whole body is relaxed and limp, then you should no longer be as stressed.

And here's some things that work for me, which may or may not make things worse for other people, so only do this if you think it may work for you:

- Distractions- find any way to distract yourself. This can include:

> putting on a vine compilation so that your brain concentrates on those and starts quoting them along, eventually leading you away from the panic.

> standing up and going to get some water or make some tea (camomile is good). It's a task that forces you to move and do things, so it forcibly pulls you back to reality. Warning though! If your hands tremble and shake, I suggest being careful with the boiling water!

> talking to someone. As a person who's really shy and hates social interaction, I find that distracting myself from anxiety with other stress is somehow helpful. Also, a conversation can help ground you, bringing you down from a high, forcing you to focus on your replies.

> stroking a pet. Running your fingers through their fur is destressing and it grounds you because it forces you to feel the fur. If you don't have a pet around, a fluffy pillow will do just as well.

> taking a look at your hand. Have you ever noticed how your fingers fold and bend when you press in specific parts of your hand? It's fun to play and mess around with. Also, once again, it makes you aware of the feeling.

> lighting a candle and focusing on the way the flames dance and move, and the quiet popping sounds the wick sometimes makes. It's a grounding device because it forces you to concentrate on the sounds and sights around you. Also, fire moves slowly, which is also relaxing.

- Ranting- rant to someone. Simply just put the panic attack into words and complain about how much it's fucking up your life. This can be irl or a written piece to someone. Just make sure someone hears it! That gets you stressing about how they'll respond and if maybe you overshared. Also, it just gets things off your chest.

- Rationalising- this sounds a lot easier than it actually is, but try to think about what caused the response. What caused this? Is this an appropriate response? What would you rather be doing right now? Is there really a good reason for this or are you just being dumb? I'm sorry! Guilt tripping just works for me.

I hope you find these at least a little useful! And I'll remind you that I'm always down to talk, be it through dms or through asks! :)

Take care of yourself! I love you! <3

Hey guys it’s been a while, if you still interact with me??? Thank you???

Figured other people could use this, and you’re an angel so thank you for everything you’ve ever said and done for me. I remember when tumblr was where I was all of the time, I think you might’ve saved my life a couple times with all of your kind words, and I thank you so much.

Love ya <3

[fandomestloser]

hello, lovelies ✮ welcome to the mess that is my blog. the chelsea hotel. my fic requests are currently open.

spotify || ao3 || pinterest || pronouns page || writing masterlist

✮ you can call me ellis, ells or el. close mutuals can call me elmo. ask about other nicknames, but nine times in ten i'll adore you forever if you nickname me.

basic info ✮ he/xe, trans, pansexual, ambiverted infp-t, type six, sagittarius, aus, dog person, romance reader, writing is everything to me, winter>>, glasses wearer, headphones on twenty-four/seven, cd collector, spotify premium user, fearless and evermore stan, hazelnut lover dating a hazelnut anaphylactic, aspiring author, regular oversharer, real-person-shipper, the nick nelson of my relationship, ginger cat, discord addict, anti-hp but pro-marauders (as long as its gay), love letter sender in a texting world, anti-monarchist, socialist, earring lover, tougher than i look but nicer than i seem, lacrosse player, pwhl enthusiast, seattle seahawks supporter, theatre nerd, night owl, i'm addicted to ao3, founding fuck, linammon roll, moderator of the be my valentine challenge, high schooler, green is the best colour talk to the hand, i like weird science podcasts and emergency-drama shows, rose gold over silver over gold, i look in people's windows, i'm violent if you play uno with me, i don't like bigots, burritos are fucking god tier, tote bag owner (to a mildly concerning degree), im an eyeliner kind of guy, i don't keep my mouth shut for anybody. free palestine!!

dni ✮ terfs, pro-trumpers, royalists, israel supporters, acephobes, transphobes, homophobes, anyone who believes in "hate the sin, love the sinner", larry antis, ableists, intersexists, ai "artists", lgbt+ gatekeepers/exclusionists, pro-lifers and anti-vaxxers, clovergenders, conservatives, or general dickheads.

music ✮ one direction, olivia rodrigo, dylan gossett, sabrina carpenter, alexander black, megan moroney, xana, kelsea ballerini, noah kahan, ed sheeran, billie eilish, five seconds of summer, cavetown, conan gray, maisie peters, finneas, taylor swift, queen, hozier, girl in red, luke combs, phoebe bridgers, gracie abrams, miley cyrus, adele, sixpence none the richer, morgan wallen, birdy, renée rapp, twenty one pilots, the beatles, abba, robbie williams, ashe, blackbear

books ✮ little women, red white and royal blue, osemanverse, jane doe and the cradle of all worlds, nevermoor, boyfriend material and husband material, picnic at hanging rock, afterlove, the meaning of birds, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, black beauty, war horse, the rabbit proof fence, the fault in our stars, they both die at the end, song of achilles, girl in pieces, you'd be home now, a semi-definitive list of worst nightmares

musicals ✮ come from away, hamilton, in the heights, high school musical, hsmtmts, dear evan hansen, tick tick boom, wicked, disney musicals<3, the greatest showman, the addams family musical, tina: the tina turner musical, mary poppins + returns, six, miss saigon, rocky horror, west side story, funny girl

movies & tv ✮ little women (2019), barbie (2023), dunkirk, don't worry darling, my policeman, rwrb, heartstopper, 9-1-1, doctor who (strictly nuwho for right now), clouds, the hate u give, julie and the phantoms, love simon and love victor, dune, this is us

my characters ✮ amy march, nina rosario, henry fox-stuart, nick nelson, christopher eccleston's doctor, achilles, ezra squall, regulus black, augustus waters, john laurens

goals and dreams ✮ i want to study abroad, have a published piece of writing, marry my partner, adopt or foster kids, travel to every continent someday, volunteer with lgbt+ homeless/support shelters/charities, attend 5/5 1d boys' concerts

my blogs ✮ my poetry blog: @thelostboyschapter 1d lyric keywords: @onedirectionandblank

#navigation #housekeeping #intro #intro post #pinned post #writers of tumblr

[dragonboots]

Hello again, Hellsite.

Admittedly, i found this helpful before. Theres a different feeling, sharing my thoughts online knowing that there is even the slightest chance someone might read them, to the feeling of writing in a notes app and then forgetting it all completely. Part of me thinks i should be scared of the idea that anyone could find these little scribbles of my mind, but im oddly thrilled when i think that maybe someone could find this and feel just the same, and in turn see that they arent alone.

Today is a weird one. It feels like so many things are so very wrong that my mouth is sealed shut because it wouldnt know how to even start explaining everything. I find i feel like this alot.

Alot of the time, also, i might see posts similair to this and my brain always tends to conjure this image of someone lonely, whos problems are all in their head where they cannot escape. But thats never really it is it? Personally, id like to think i know a decent amount of people, quite a few i like and quite a few i despise. But its those people that make my problems feel like a drowning weight, because i feel i am trapped between them. Because i am not the one in control, i am the furthest possible from that. And i know that has always been one of the scariest fucking things for me.

Moreover, im in the middle of an oxymoron wrapped in a paradox. First of all im never middling. Im always high energy, blissfully ignorant, or low energy which comes with drowsy carelessness or tired yet violent anger. Second of all, i have been scared of a change all my life. This is an obvious fact to any and all who know me (often because i tell them, because i have a bad habit of oversharing occasionally. Im getting better at reigning that in.). However, recently a fear of all change in and of itself has evolved into a want for change, but only small changes that i can control. I feel as if my world would crumble if it shifted, but the constant weight its currently under is no better. Better the devil you know, i suppose, but that devil has me bored, and scared of a future it tells me is ahead yet i never feel approaching.

I dont intend to sound like a writer or poet with some of the fancy shit ive typed here. I intend to think, to write, and to try and put my thoughts into words as best i can, despite how much it feels like trying to catch a cloud. While writing this i realised just why it helps me so much to put this down (ive typed the word write so much it looks and sounds wrong now). I think it makes it easier to when you know someone might see it, or when it feels like im talking to someone rather than just jotting down rambling thoughts, because it forces me to think about how to properly structure my sentence, how to make it make a little more sense, but still keep the irrationality of my own human thoughts.

All this just to say, ive felt a little in pain, and a little like ive been sinking all day. This has lifted a weight of me, and if someone sees it i recommend you write too, if thats what youre into. Just get your thoughts out. Its a basic lesson weve all heard repeated a million times, but we never really remember. Dont keep the scary crap inside. As awful as it sounds, it helps to think someone out there might be scared with you.

#vent #hello hellsite #i think too many thoughts #not feeling good #just like yesterday #but i hope thats okay

[nuclearforest]

🐸💎

Hello friendly anon! Ty for the ask ❤️ Maybe we'll see some oversharing on my part this morning.

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

Gremlin living in the woods.

I love the woods. I like a healthy separation and lots of trees and shade and no big wasteful lawns. I love the colors changing with the seasons and snow on evergreens. And the idea of a cabin nestled in the woods with a gravel driveway and a little trail of smoke billowing from the chimney with the scent or something warm hanging in the air is just so lovely. Bonus if it's lakeside or has a little stream.

Inside the cabin (log or cobblestone) it would be so nice and cozy. Lots of wood and shiny rocks and handmade things with tasteful modern conveniences mixed in. I don't mean smart stoves bc those are fucking stupid, but decent wifi and a little worshop in the basement or off to the side for my myriad of hobbies. Big open spaces and high ceilings and a wood stove for heating and cooking. Double bonus if there's a nook for fluffy things and chilling out and cuddling with cats or dogs or possibly a werewolf 🤣

I like soft things in natural spaces and wanna appreciate how mother nature really went nuts with the rings in wood and the crystalline structures that naturally form underground and the way that things change in a rhythmic soothing way. The patter of rain on the roof or crackle of fire in the fireplace with enough privacy that you can curl up and lose time with those you love.

In other words: I am a monumental sap and a softie.

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

Honest to God: my baby blanket.

So like, fun fact: sometimes I get in a headspace where I wonder how much of my life I could get rid of and be fine without lol. Usually it happens when I get 🌈 hella anxious 🌈 but since actually starting to take meds for it, it's been a lot less frequent.

But the conclusion for these tangents usually fell to my baby blanket. Like everything else is replicable or replaceable outright. I don't have that much pride or care much for stuff I made (most joy comes from the process of making pretty things and not owning pretty things). Most stuff can be backed up on the cloud if I need it, and even then how likely am I going to be to look at ALL my old unsorted pics? Physical stuff is cool but whatever. Makes for conveniences and costs money to replace.

But one of those irreplaceable things is my baby blanket. I have a hella emotional attachment to it, and in my life it represents a very pure kindness that I can't shake the feeling of. Great Aunt made it for me. Mended it for me as a kid. And it's still kicking well after 2 decades of wear. It represents somebody making something warm and loving for somebody that they gain no benefit from, and like. That just absolutely kicks me in the honey nut feelios.

A close second is my car. Because I kinda bond with it like pets and I don't have any pets yet lol. I sobbed like a baby when I had to trade in my old one for my current one instead of fixing it, even if it wasn't worth the cost to fix and might not have been that reliable for my brief foray out on the other side of the US. But years later I've now bonded with my current car, too, and get massively upset if something breaks 🤣

So TLDR: I'm a sap and form strong emotional attachments to inanimate objects, making them inherently irreplaceable.

#mun rambles #i am really feeling God in this Chili's tn #massive love for the minute acts of love and kindness in this world #and my love letter to a very relaxed and homey life

[elvesofnoldor]

.

#humm i clowned myself again....i said mdzs is living in my head rent free...well....so is tcgf #i was gonna continue watching the untamed right after finish watching tcgf s1 but i keep thinking abt tgcf jfc!!! #i might have contracted some form of brain rot this is highly unusual for me. at least it should be highly unusual #also im vibing so hard to the theme songs of mdzs (not untamed tho) and tgcf lol....and these dairy product ads are working #yes hello i would like a 可爱多 ice cream cone. yes i would like that drinkable yogurt with peach pulp. u got me. im fucking sold #mdzs literally has product placement in the episode and i dont even give a fuck! these customized ads where the characters from the show #are waving around the sponsor products are strangely effective....u bet i didn't skip those....damn corporations #yes i said tcgf isn't as good of a story as mdzs. turns out i was kind of wrong and also i decide that i really like xie lian's character #i always like him because he's just a Very Nice and Polite Person. but i gave the character some thoughts and i think he might have depth #im not sure if im just reading too deep into the wiki entry. its likely. but i do love a character who stayed kind and gentle #because they have healed from grief of the past and achieved inner peace #and despite all the trauma and pain. they were strong enough to stay soft. i do actually love that kind of character #in terms of my judgement abt the quality of the story #in my defence. the two arcs in the first season were both kinda terrible? and i also didnt know there would be a second season #and i'd say i was a bit disturbed by some of fucked-up dark lore. well to be fair it wasn't that terrible i just wasn't emotionally prepared #tcgf just came off as...somewhat lighthearted. the general tone in the first couple of episodes was very deceiving #like. someone gave a list of content warnings like what people did with revolutionary girl utena. i would have been fine #tbh tgcf probably doesnt even need content warning it doesnt seem nearly as dark as revolutionary girl utena #i just WASN'T EMOTIONALLY PREPARED OK #mae overshares #bro im gonna have both mdzs AND tcgf tag. how many followers am i gonna lose when i spam tcgf posts this time #i posted. like. three (3) mdzs posts last time i didnt finish reblogging the ones from my likes #and people already started booing me. damn #gonna (finally) start watching revolutionary girl utena and legend of korra. im abt to drown myself in asian (related or produced) media #that are also kinda gay at the same time. im just in the right mindset tbh #and also bc i still am not ready to play hades due to fear of the game fucking up my aging laptop somehow #literally the only reason that i appear im not into hades. listen. that is Not my choice. it's less risky to be watching videos #than running a Whole Entire Game on your laptop #sidenote: i always read tgcf aka 天官赐福 as 天宫赐福 lmao. heaven's blessing just sounds less goofy than heaven official's blessing lol #good thing i use abbreviation as tags or im gonna expose myself

[bratz-kitten]

Hello there love, a fellow 11th house mercury here! just saw a post where you talked a little about that placement and it was the most accurate thing I’ve ever read hahaha so my question is if you could elaborate a little bc i find it a little hard to understand that placement. my mercury is sadly also in retrograde in my chart so that doesn’t make things easier…

thank you so much!! much love xxx

okay so, for reference, i touched a bit on mercury in the 11th house here and here (which was mostly about mercury in the 12th house anyway), but the biggest point i made there was that this mercury makes you someone who needs constant intellectual stimulation, we have very restless thoughts and it can be maddening sometimes because our brains just don't shut up... ever. which is why we need to be engaging in conversation so much or at least letting our thoughts out some other way, in a blog, for example (take it from me lmfao). it's interesting that the 11th house rules technology as well as social circles, because it sure feels like we have a non-stop podcast in our minds. like, the only time where i feel like my brain is experiencing a moment of peace is afterward a really intense conversation, when i get to debate my ideas with someone who's just as passionate (and slightly insane) as me.

that being said, we prefer to keep conversation light-hearted and fun. this house for mercury shows an ease when it comes to talking with whoever, so you might have a lot of acquaintances. you might even feel like wherever you go, everyone knows your name and it can be a very unsettling feeling at times. as in, you get introduced to a group of people you've never met before but somehow they all know who you are, so you might experience people gossiping a lot about you, making up rumors that get widely spread; people make all kinds of assumptions about you. that's because even though you know a lot of people, you keep the conversation purposely superficial and only open up to like three people, if that much.

now, keep in mind that this is a double-edged sword: not only do people gossip a lot about people, but you tend to gossip as well. even if you tell yourself it's light-hearted and you only do it with your closest friends, it can be too much at times, and it's very easy to cross the line of "i'm just curious" to being downright shitty, and you need to watch out for what comes out of your mouth because you do stress a lot about having good morals.

you possess a lot of social intelligence and you might be very aware of that, using it in everyday matters – when you enter a group, you start observing the dynamics that play between everyone: who talks the most with who, who feels the most or less comfortable with who, who's still only acquaintances and who's falling in love but doesn't know it yet; you observe all of that and start taking mental notes about people's behaviors: the way they talk, their humor (especially if they laugh at the expense of others or not), if they overshare, what they leave unsaid; you take in all of that and that's your way of getting to know people so that you can start predicting their behavior. like i said, you find it very hard to trust others enough to open up so you make others prove themselves before you do so. in friendships, this is less biting, as in you don't just walk up to someone and go like hey prove me of your worth lmfao, you simply start observing their actions and if they pass the vibe check, they're in.

the problem starts in your romantic relationships – this is where you make someone prove themselves again and again that they're deserving of your trust and loyalty as you continuously doubt them. and suddenly, this isn't the dating stage; it's like your potential partner is harry potter going through the triwizard tournament just to get the prize of 10% of your trust. and it's, like, no. stop it. you can't expect people to drop everything to offer you the world while you're hesitant about even holding their hand in public. that's self-sabotaging and it's just a way for you to ensure that you don't get too intimate with people, that you don't reveal too much of yourself. relationships are about the equality between giving and taking, and you can sometimes be caught up in wanting to receive before even considering giving.

the best way i can put this is through an example: kim kardashian has her mercury in the 11th house. so, it's no wonder that this mercury makes someone really fucking ambitious, sometimes even without you realizing. the 11th house rules dreams and humanity as a whole, so you might be constantly in tune with your dreams and finding a way to get yourself further to them. like i said, this can be unconscious at times; perhaps you take on a small project that's meant to be fun and insignificant but suddenly it blows up out of proportion, suddenly your whole life revolves around it and you're getting recognized for it. you can be very calculating and borderline manipulative at times since you're so focused on trying to control the circumstances around you. not even just in real life, perhaps when you're playing video games you find yourself focusing a lot of your attention on understanding the characters and their motivations; and then, when you meet someone who feels shady as fuck and who looks like they could betray you, your thinking process isn't how can i stop this person from betraying me, it's how can i use this person's betrayal to my advantage. it's like, jesus christ on steroids lmfao. you have a talent for turning difficult situations into the diamond in the rough, for thriving when facing obstacles.

you're very cynical about your friendships, you understand that most people don't have good intentions and you're likely to make a clear distinction between party friends and actual friends. the first group are the people who you have casual fun with, who you do stupid shit with and who perhaps you engage with to keep up appearances or further your connections, while the second group are the actual people who you'd ride or die for, and those are scarce.

here, there's a yearning for actual friendships present even through your fear of doing so, and you might find yourself getting occupied with issues of the 11th house: philosophy, metaphysics, individuality vs. humanity as a whole, freedom, moral issues – for you, nothing is taboo enough, just like nothing is progressive or out-of-the-box enough. my advice for people with this placement is to read the greeks. seriously, hearing plato spend a whole book discussing what is morality is like our wet dream. you love debating especially with your friends, and if you can't talk with someone for hours and hours on end with the conversation never once stalling, then they're not fit to be your friends at all. besides this, you might be very drawn to politics, power, any knowledge that helps you achieve your dreams.

you have big dreams and you might feel a strong calling to help as many people as possible, to save the world, to have your voice be heard. your goals might be downright inconceivable to some people, so you can feel ostracized by the members of the community where you live: perhaps your parents and other family members don't believe in you and would rather you just stick to the plan they forged for you; perhaps you were forced into choosing between their path or yours; no matter what, the choice lies in your hands and so does the power to achieve whatever you desire.

#mercury in the 11th house #astrology #capricorn #aquarius #libra #gemini #aries #pisces #cancer #virgo #taurus #leo #sagittarius #scorpio #answered

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #hq x you #kenma x you #kozume kenma #kozume x reader #hq kozume #kozume fluff #kozume x you #kozume x y/n #kenma x y/n #kenma x oc #kenma x fem!reader #kenma kozume #kuroo x y/n #kuroo testuro #nekoma #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x reader #osamu dazai #dazai x reader #tw: sucidal ideation #tw: sui mention

[realcube]

rq; could you possibly write a one shot about the reader having AD(H)D and has a really hard time focusing on core academics (math, science, english, history) because they feel scared about stimming and/or fidgeting in front of people and so they ask tamaki for help?

tw; very mild angst, fluff, stimming, i use the word ‘embrassing’ too much, swearing

words; 2.7k

it only took a moment of skimming over your latest progress report for you to understand the situation.

you continued to thrive in practical subjects like physical education, graphic design and manufacturing — the three main reasons you managed to secure your spot in the support course — but your core subjects seemed to be lacking.

for the last two years, you managed to score flying colours in all your subjects. but now, it was starting to appear as though your golden era was coming to a close. what was once a report with only scores greater than 90%, was now a range of totals anywhere from 90 to 50%.

this meant you were still passing all of your classes but these grades were only indications of how you were doing now; you knew that if you continued to struggle in all of your core courses, you might not finish your third year of UA highschool.

you simply wouldn't allow for your grades to decline further, so like any good student would, you made a list of ways you could improve.

number one was, of course, study more. however, you were almost certain that discipline and diligence aren't the causes of the issue.

number two was to ask for help from your teacher and although this was a completely valid option, you still felt like the problem ran deeper than your ability to comprehend the material. after all, you had made it this far without having to do so.

before you could even ponder number three, your pen ran out of ink. with a huff, you reach out to grab a new one from your pencil case, until you noticed that in the spot where your pencil case usually sits on your desk, there was nothing.

it was as though the void had caused all your memories of yesterday to come crashing down on you in an instant; it was almost nauseating. yet it, ironically, provided some clarity as to the location of your stationary.

two days ago, after school, you paid a visit to tamaki's house to deliver the gear he had commissioned. however, what was initially meant to be a casual interaction, somehow turned into a game of pictionary (with mirio and nejire there too, of course), for which you needed to bring your pencil case out of your bag. amidst your awkward goodbyes, you must've forgotten to put it back into your bag, hence your pencil case is probably lying dejected on tamaki's coffee table.

this left you with no choice but to throw on your jacket and begin your journey to tamaki's house. fortunately, he only lived a bus ride away from your home, yet you still mentally rebuked yourself for the whole length of aforementioned bus ride due to the fact that every time you would interact with tamaki, it felt like you were digging a deeper grave for yourself.

partially because you always found yourself oversharing with him — not that it was a one-sided ordeal — and you couldn't begin to explain why; he kinda just had a comforting aura about him. albeit you haven’t said anything embarrassing yet but the possibility of that happening was way too large. plus taking into consideration your complicated feelings for each other, leaving your pencil case at his house was a disaster waiting to occur.

or perhaps you were overthinking it. either way, you were now standing in front of his door with your school uniform and backpack on during a saturday afternoon because you had no idea what else to wear.

after ringing the doorbell, you stood as a patient statue in the cold until tamaki reluctantly opened the door and only poked his head out. “hello?”

emphasis on ‘only’, because he was truly committed to not allowing you to see him in his casual-wear, for some reason. a part of him reasoned that there was no way you would expect him to be wearing his school uniform on a saturday, but the majority of his brain was screaming about how he had to hide his clothes from you at all costs. especially since he was wearing socks, comfy trackpants and — most shamefully — a sweater with a small octopus design on it. and what would you think of him if you saw that his choice in loungewear was so childish?! it would be utterly humiliating.

completely unaware that tamaki was having a crisis behind the door, you pulled your most authentic smile and said the line you had been rehearing on the bus, “hi, tamaki. sorry for coming unannounced, but i think i left my pencil case on your coffee table when we were playing pictionary with mirio and nejire.”

“oh.” tamaki was almost too panicked to process what you just said but once he did, he immediately recalled the moment he noticed that you had left behind your pencil case. at the time, he planned on calling you to ask if he could drop it off at your house, but his nerves got the better of him and he decided to keep procrastinating the call until he completely forgot.

though, if he remembered correctly, the pencil case should be lying on his desk after he moved it there in hopes that the convenient location would remind him to return it; which it evidently did not.

“yeah. uh, i’ve got it. i’ll just go get it.” his face tingled with warmth slightly as he retracted it from the doorway, resulting in him finally realising how cold it is outside. in fact, since the eaves of his house shielded you for the climate, he didn’t even notice that it was snowing!

the polite bone in him got to work before the rest of him could react, as he blurted out, “come in, make yourself at home.”

fuck! i mean, it’s not that he doesn’t want you in his house — quite the opposite actually — but rather now he had to dart off to his bedroom before you could catch a glimpse of his sweater. but at least now this gave him an opportunity to change into something less embarrassing.

closing the door behind you, you were now left alone in tamaki’s living room. your eyes followed his figure as he dashed towards his bedroom, “odd.” you murmured to yourself. you weren’t exactly tamaki’s BFF but you were close enough to him that you could tell when he was acting weird.

but you didn’t think to much of it. actually, you were slightly grateful for this weird spike in tamaki’s behaviour because if he doesn’t want you around, that just means you are less likely to overshare and catch feelings, which means better outcomes in the long run, right?

after changing into a plain blue sweater and collecting your pencil case, tamaki strolled into the living room and handed it to you with a weak smile, “here you go.” he almost whispered, patiently waiting for your response so he could mentally prepare himself for goodbyes or another hour (or so) of conversation.

“thank you!” you basically squealed, pulling off your bag to stuff your pencil case back inside. while adjusting the straps on your shoulders, you took a moment to appreciate tamaki’s familiar attire, “oh, i love your sweater; i have a similar one with a cute little octopus on it.”

tamaki concluded that neither of you would be saying goodbye for a long while.

“thank you.” he responded with a soft smile, folding his arms over his chest as he made his way towards the kitchen, “um, so how are you?” he inquired, assuming that it was a pretty harmless question that would simply help get the conversation off the ground while he prepared tea.

“i’m good. but i don’t think i can say the same for my progress report.” you said with an awkward chuckle, standing aside as you watched tamaki put the kettle on. “and how are y--”

“what do you mean?” tamaki asked, disregarding the fact that he didn’t answer the question himself. although, simply put, this was because he found that conversation came more naturally to him when he was with you; or perhaps that is a slight overstatement. he tended to be more curious and inquisitive when talking to you and it wasn’t hard to tell.

until now you and mirio simply brushed it off as tamaki’s interest towards the support course, since you were the one who manufactured most of his gear. yet nejire always teased him as she believed that tamaki’s interest was caused by a different sort of passion.

nevertheless, regardless of tamaki’s motives, you still found yourself consistently answering his questions, “eh, well, i’ve just not been performing as well as i hoped.” you replied plainly with a shrug.

“is that all?”

no matter how many questions he asked, each one still managed to catch you off-guard. “um,” your throat ran dry, which might’ve been a sign from a deity to stop talking, but your swallowing was your way of proving that you did not care. although you will probably regret it later, talking with tamaki always relieved you.

“well,” you started, the lump in your throat growing by the second, “i guess i have a bit of trouble focussing in some classes too. but i mean, maybe it is because i drink too much caffeine? i’m not even sure to be honest.” that was lie, you were  90% sure of what the problem was, but you wanted to hear tamaki’s response before you proceeded, to determine whether he’d be open-minded about it.

“there is no such thing as too much caffeine.” he joked, handing you a cup of tea while he sipped on his own. “so it’s probably something else.”

he’s too good. it’s as if he knew you were withholding information.

“well,” you began once more, trying your best to appear clueless, “i guess moving helps me focus, but no once else in the class does it so wouldn’t it be embarrassing if i was the only one?”

“i don’t think it would be embarrassing at all.” he spoke softly, leading you back into the living room and offer you a seat on the couch beside him, which you graciously accepted. “but if you think it is, then i have something to help.”

before you could say anything, tamaki got up and headed towards his bedroom; leaving you to drink his heavenly tea while he searched. though, only a few minutes passed before you felt his arms slither over your shoulders to hook two clips together by your neck.

“there.” he said with a proud smile, “this is one of my cloaks that i use in my hero costume. you can tie it together so it covers the whole front half of your body.”

observing your reflection in the blackened TV, you smiled upon seeing for your own eyes that everything he said was true. it was like wearing a cape that goes around your whole body, and it had a nice hood! “wow, this is so adorable!” you cheered, then paused, “but how is it going to help me focus?”

“well, you can do whatever you want underneath it and no one will notice.”

ignoring the shady implications of that sentence, you moved your hand around underneath the cloak and he was right! no one would see you fidgeting underneath the cloak, and hopefully the professor’s voice would cover any sounds you made. plus, it looked pretty badass.

“this might work! are cloaks included in dress-code?” you joked, but you weren’t laughing for long as you turned to look at tamaki who was wearing an upset expression with his head hung low, “no.”

“oh.” you sighed, unclipping the cloak and handing it back to tamaki with a slight smile, “it’s fine. thank you for your help, and the tea. it was delicious, but i’ll probably have to start cutting back on the caffeine.” you gave it a chef’s kiss yet he didn’t even chuckle like he usually does. it was almost scary how your true emotions reflected onto him, as it seemed like the whole atmosphere had changed.

“(y/n).” tamaki uttered with a much more serious tone; eyes filled with determination yet trained onto the cloak in his hands. “you shouldn’t be embarrassed-- or at least, I, um, don’t think you should be.”

your eyes widened at how sternly he said the first part; granted, he became flustered when it came to the second part, but it really showed you how firmly he stood by what he was saying. you nodded for him to continue as he looked like he still had a lot on his mind.

“it’s unfair that you have trouble focussing because of what other people think. so my two cents is that you should do whatever you need to do, and, um, not care about other people... well, i mean, you should care about them, but just not what they think about you. because like, you can’t really control that--”

he found himself having to abruptly shut his mouth to stop himself from prattling on any further. especially since most of what he was saying was probably none sense that he mistook for inspirational, or at least that is what he gathered from the shocked look you wore; it was ironic how humiliated he was.

“that’s nice to hear.” you hummed, a kind smile gracing your features in place of the previous stunned expression, “though it’s hard to believe coming from someone as cool as you, tamaki.”

“cool?”

“yeah.” you chuckled, rolling your eyes at his baffled look which he must have been faking. surely he knows how highly thought of and respected he is throughout the whole school. he is in the big three, for fucks’ sake! “there is probably a better word to describe it, but you are one of the most badass people i know.”

“badass?” it was as if all he was capable of doing was repeating these words to you with an innocent yet confused gaze.

“yes!” you enthused, “so, is there anything you even have to be embarrassed about?”

“i do!” he almost whined, and without thinking, he stormed to his bedroom only to grab the sweater he cast aside earlier to show it to you, “look! an octopus sweater, isn’t this embarrassing?”

you deadpanned, unsure as to whether he was joking or not. “stimming is very different from a octopus sweater but go on.” however after a few moments of actually analysing the design on the article of clothing, you exclaimed, “oi, i have that exact same sweater! how is a cute little octopus embarrassing? plus, it would be extra cute on you because you have tentacles.”

in a moment of frustration and wanting to prove a point, he threw the sweater aside and began to sheepishly grab at the ends of his sleeves, “well, you know what’s even more embarrassing? having a crush on someone for three whole years and not having the balls to ask them out! and on top of that, being to nervous to return my crush’s stuff after you left it at my house.”

you weren’t sure if he meant to switch out ‘my crush’ with ‘you’ on purpose or if he was just confused. either way, you found yourself leaning in to wrap the poor boy in an overdue embrace, smiling against his chest as he hugged back. “that was..” you faltered, allowing tamaki to interject with “mortifying” but you were quick to correct him, “i think that was a very unique way to confess, and i'm just glad you did.”

your chuckle that followed was left to echo around the room as tamaki stood still and silent, simply enjoying the comfort in your arms as feeling the pleasure of time escape him. until eventually he whispered close to your ear, “so since i know more about embarrassment than you thought, will you take my advice now?”

you snickered, gently tracing shapes onto his back, “i was going to take your advice either way because if i don’t get good grades and remain in the support course, how will i graduate with you?”

“good point.” he hummed, not-so silently enjoying the relaxing sensations near his spine, “but we are not wearing matching octopus hats.”

how did manage to shoot down your idea before you even proposed it?

#tamaki amakiji #tamaki x reader #amajiki tamaki x reader #tamaki headcanons #tamaki fluff #bnha x gender neutral reader #tamaki x y/n #mha amajiki #mha tamaki #tamaki amajiki #amajiki x reader #bnha amajiki #amajiki tamaki imagine #my hero academia amajiki

[bloody-bee-tea]

Devastation - All Star Xicheng White Day 1

This is for the All Star Xichen White Day and the prompt for that was Fashion/Modelling/Makeup. I only chose the first two though.

Jiang Cheng is acutely aware of the eyes that are following him through the room. He doesn’t dare to look over to check out if it’s a glare or not, but he can imagine that it must be.

People usually glare at him.

Even though this feels a little bit unfair, because it’s the first time he ever actually met Lan Xichen and he’s not sure what he did to offend him like this already.

He hasn’t even spoken to the guy yet.

Jiang Cheng huffs into his glass of water at that thought, because Lan Xichen is probably an overprotective older brother and it’s more than clear that Lan Wangji doesn’t like Jiang Cheng one bit—at least that feeling is mostly mutual—and so he’s probably angry on his brother’s behalf.

It’s the only explanation Jiang Cheng has.

Jiang Cheng tries to ignore the stab of disappointment he feels at that, and he scolds himself for expecting anything more.

He might have a little tiny crush on Lan Xichen, and while Jiang Cheng never deluded himself into thinking anything more will come out of that, he wasn’t expecting active hostility either.

Especially since Lan Xichen doesn’t even know him yet.

“You look upset,” Nie Huaisang suddenly says from his side and Jiang Cheng scowls even harder.

“How would you know?” he bites out, but he knows he’s being unfair to his friend.

It’s not Nie Huaisang’s fault that Lan Xichen clearly can’t stand him.

“You have a broad variety of frowns,” Nie Huaisang says, tapping his fan against his lips. “And this is your upset scowl. So tell me, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng tries, even though he damn well knows that it’s no use.

If Nie Huaisang thinks that something is wrong then he’ll definitely bother Jiang Cheng until he admits to it or erupts into his face.

It’s a tested method, and Jiang Cheng is annoyed to admit that it usually works too.

“Maybe you want to try that again and this time look a little more like you mean it,” Nie Huaisang teases him and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“Lan Xichen doesn’t like me,” Jiang Cheng finally whispers and goes hot in embarrassment at Nie Huaisang’s knowing little “Ah”.

They have been best friends for years, of course Nie Huaisang knows about Jiang Cheng’s stupid, unfounded, hopeless crush.

“Are you sure? Why wouldn’t he like you?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

It’s not like he knows how he offended Lan Xichen or what he did to make Lan Xichen dislike him. Lan Xichen is Nie Mingjue’s best friend and the brother of Wei Wuxian’s boyfriend—fiancé, now—but for all that their social circles should overlap at every turn, they have never actually met.

There were a few situations where one of them was leaving while the other was just arriving, but today is the first time they are in the same room for longer than twenty seconds.

“I mean, it’s not unusual for people to dislike me,” Jiang Cheng amends after a short pause, “but I didn’t even speak to him yet. Usually that’s the breaking point for most people.”

“Stop that right now,” Nie Huaisang chastises him and slaps him with his fan. “We talked about this. You’re not allowed to speak like this about my best friend,” Nie Huaisang firmly tells him and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at him.

“Doesn’t change the fact that he seems to despise me,” Jiang Cheng mutters under his breath, watching Lan Xichen from the corner of his eyes.

Lan Xichen is furiously scribbling something into a sketchbook before he turns the page with enough speed to almost rip it to shreds and then he’s glaring at Jiang Cheng again, before he turns back to his sketchbook.

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang muses. “He doesn’t seem angry.”

Jiang Cheng scoffs.

“Are you looking at the same guy I am? He nearly ripped that page in half, he’s so angry.”

“Or impatient,” Nie Huaisang gives back but Jiang Cheng won’t hear it.

“Look at him,” he hisses. “He looks as if he’s personally blaming me for his art block.”

“How do you know about his art block?” Nie Huaisang asks him with a frown and Jiang Cheng snorts.

“Please Huaisang. The statue is his brother and Wei Wuxian loves to overshare about everything regarding the statue. Including how he worries about his brother because he seems to have lost his muse and is even thinking about taking some time off.”

“You know, they are engaged now. You should probably stop calling Wangji that,” Nie Huaisang mildly says but they have had this conversation often enough that they both know nothing will come of it.

And besides; Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have been together for long enough that Jiang Cheng actually says it with some kind of fondness now. Lan Wangji does make his brother happy, after all and Jiang Cheng can acknowledge at least that.

“I will, if he stops calling me sparkle,” Jiang Cheng give back, completely deadpan but he has to smile when Nie Huaisang bursts out into laughter.

“Okay, fair,” he says between his giggles right before he goes serious again. “But all jokes aside, I don’t think Xichen-ge hates you,” Nie Huaisang says again and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“Hate might be a strong word,” he finally amends. “Intense dislike would maybe fit more.”

“You’re being stupid. You said it yourself; you didn’t even speak to him yet. There’s no reason for him to dislike you. Maybe you should go over there and make some small-talk. Your brothers are getting married, you should at least make an effort to speak to him.”

Jiang Cheng can feel himself blush at just the mere suggestion but he has to agree that maybe Nie Huaisang is right about this. Maybe Jiang Cheng just has to talk to him, to either be completely sure that Lan Xichen truly dislikes him, or to amend his previous impression.

Either way, it will bring some clarity to the whole situation and with that thought in mind Jiang Cheng walks right up to Lan Xichen and sits down on the couch next to him.

He tries to keep his face smooth when Lan Xichen slams his sketchbook closed and then he tries to pretend not to be hurt when Lan Xichen leans slightly away from him.

“Hi,” Jiang Cheng says very eloquently and Lan Xichen jerks as if he’s a startled baby rabbit.

He blinks at Jiang Cheng a few times, before he finally manages to return the greeting.

“Hello,” Lan Xichen says and he sounds unsure and probably spooked to hell and back, and it’s Jiang Cheng’s time to stare in surprise as Lan Xichen suddenly gets up from the couch.

“Bye,” Lan Xichen rushes out and then promptly flees the scene.

Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare after him. This is really not how he imagined meeting Lan Xichen for the first time would go over.

“That was strange,” Nie Huaisang says as he sits down next to Jiang Cheng on the couch, a thoughtful look on his face as he stares after Lan Xichen.

“I told you so,” Jiang Cheng says, trying not to let Nie Huaisang know how hurt he is over this reaction, but when Nie Huaisang pats his arm, he knows it’s futile.

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang says and while Jiang Cheng was in the process of relaxing under his constant petting, he tenses when Nie Huaisang suddenly smiles at him. “I know how to cheer you up, though,” he promises and Jiang Cheng is not in the habit of calling his friends liars, but yeah.

Nie Huaisang is a liar.

“No,” Jiang Cheng says immediately, because he knows that whatever Nie Huaisang will propose now, he’s going to hate it.

“How about you model for me?” Nie Huaisang asks him and Jiang Cheng glares at him so hard, he hopes he sets him on fire.

“Absolutely not,” he gives back, because he will not model for Nie Huaisang.

“Come on, A-Cheng, why not?” Nie Huaisang whines and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, before he sinks deeper into the couch.

“You damn well know why. I’m not going to model for you. Don’t you have Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji at your beck and call for that kind of thing anyway?”

“But I don’t want them,” Nie Huaisang says and clings to Jiang Cheng. “I want you to do it. You would look magnificent.”

“I wouldn’t look better than Wei Wuxian and I can’t hold my composure like Lan Wangji so stop it.”

Jiang Cheng is very firm in his refusal of this, has been ever since Wei Wuxian picked up modelling as a hobby, and he won’t change his stance on it now. He knows that he’s nothing compared to Wei Wuxian and he’s not keen to see it in the photos or clips Nie Huaisang will make.

“You would be wearing completely different clothes, you can’t even compare the two of you,” Nie Huaisang tries but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“No,” he says and Nie Huaisang deflates against him.

“You’re a spoilsport, A-Cheng,” he mutters, but he snuggles into Jiang Cheng’s side, so he can’t be too mad.

“And don’t we all know it,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh, because that is one of the many faults he has.

The rest of the party goes over relatively quickly and Jiang Cheng does his best to stay out of Lan Xichen’s way, seeing as the guy clearly can’t stand him. It almost doesn’t hurt at all, especially with how hard Nie Huaisang tries to distract him.

~*~*~

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Wei Wuxian yells as he storms into Jiang Cheng’s apartment.

“Hello to you, too,” Jiang Cheng gives back, but he’s already on the defence because Wei Wuxian seems genuinely mad and Jiang Cheng can’t think of anything he did to warrant that reaction.

“Fuck you and your hello,” Wei Wuxian sneers and jabs his pointy finger into Jiang Cheng’s chest. “You’re a selfish, thick-headed idiot and I am so mad!” Wei Wuxian yells into his face and Jiang Cheng smacks his finger away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jiang Cheng bites out. “Get the fuck out of my apartment if you think I’m so stupid.”

“You don’t even care, do you? You’re ruining Xichen-ge’s whole career and you don’t even care. God, you’re truly so damn selfish,” Wei Wuxian tells him and Jiang Cheng frowns at him.

“What the hell do I have to do with Lan Xichen? I don’t even speak to the guy,” Jiang Cheng tells him because he has barely even seen the guy since he so clearly fled from him, but Wei Wuxian continues to glare at him.

“Yeah, right,” he scoffs and Jiang Cheng fights the urge to strangle him. “Is that what you tell yourself to be alright with what you are doing?”

“I have no fucking clue what you think I’m doing!” Jiang Cheng yells at him, completely fed up with Wei Wuxian’s accusations.

Wei Wuxian clearly wants to scream something back at him but before he can do so, Lan Xichen comes into the apartment. He frantically looks around until he sees Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and then he rushes forward.

“Wei Wuxian, what are you doing?” Lan Xichen asks him, clearly trying for calm, but looking stressed as well.

“You said—” Wei Wuxian starts but Lan Xichen frantically shakes his head.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“What the hell is going on here?” Jiang Cheng snarls out, crossing his arms in front of his chest and shifting uncomfortably when both Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen turn to look at him.

“I would like to explain,” Lan Xichen starts, but Wei Wuxian interrupts him.

“Why would you even still speak to him if he’s ruining your whole show?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen sighs before he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Because he doesn’t know about it,” Lan Xichen mutters, and Wei Wuxian’s eyes go big.

“Oh,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng sends him a scathing glare.

“Yeah, oh,” Jiang Cheng says and then points at the door. “You’re going to get the fuck away from me now, I don’t want to see your stupid face until I calmed down, and then we will have words about your accusations,” he tells Wei Wuxian who presses his lips together and then scurries out of the door.

He closes it behind him very softly and Jiang Cheng glares after him for a long moment before he turns to Lan Xichen.

“Explain,” he bites out and does his very best to not find it fetching how Lan Xichen’s cheeks slowly turn red.

“What did he say exactly?” Lan Xichen asks him first and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“That I’m ruining your entire career,” Jiang Cheng gives back and frowns when Lan Xichen grimaces at that.

“He’s overreacting,” he then says but Jiang Cheng is not going to let him off without a proper explanation.

“About what?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen sighs, before his shoulder sag.

“I have a new collection ready,” Lan Xichen tells him and Jiang Cheng is surprised to hear that.

Last he knew, Lan Xichen was completely without inspiration and thought about taking some time off, so this surely must be a good thing.

“Congratulations?” Jiang Cheng asks, because with how the day has been going it cannot be simply something good, that much is clear to Jiang Cheng.

“Thank you.”

“Now what does it have to do with me ruining your career?” Jiang Cheng eventually prods when Lan Xichen doesn’t say anything else, and Lan Xichen blushes again.

“I refuse to let people who are not you model them,” Lan Xichen whispers and goes even more red in the face.

“Why would you do that?” Jiang Cheng asks with a frown. “And you didn’t even ask me about that.”

“I know,” Lan Xichen admits. “But I heard you talking to Huaisang once—during the party—and you said you’re not going to model, so I thought it futile to ask just for you to tell me to fuck off.”

“Why would you even want me to model for you if you have your brother and my gremlin at your beck and call? They are clearly the better choice,” Jiang Cheng says and almost manages to not sound bitter at all.

“Because you’re—” Lan Xichen starts and then can’t seem to bring himself to finish the sentence.

Instead he reaches into his bag and pulls out a sketchbook. Jiang Cheng recognizes it as the one Lan Xichen was drawing in when he saw him at the party and when Lan Xichen pushes it into Jiang Cheng’s chest, he takes it.

“Just look at it,” Lan Xichen says without meeting his eyes and Jiang Cheng frowns down at it before he flips it open.

He silently goes through every page, but his eyes get bigger and bigger as he goes along. Lan Xichen didn’t draw faces or anything, just sketched the absolute minimum to give it a human figure, but Jiang Cheng knows that it’s all him.

The clothes completely give it away.

They are all in various shades of purple, completely fitting Jiang Cheng’s style and he doesn’t know what to do with that at all.

“But you hate me,” Jiang Cheng says when he finally manages to tear his eyes away from the last page.

“Why would you ever think that?” Lan Xichen asks and Jiang Cheng thinks he must be imagining the devastation colouring his voice.

“Because you glared at me the whole evening! And then you fled like a startled animal when I tried to talk to you!” Jiang Cheng reminds him and Lan Xichen breathes out a soft oh.

“That wasn’t—" Lan Xichen starts and then shakes his head. “You’re so beautiful,” he finally says and frowns when Lan Xichen scoffs at that.

“You are! You’re gorgeous and captivating and seeing you in action, talking to people, it was like my muse had come back and hit me over the head. So I had to start drawing that very instant and it couldn't go fast enough with all the ideas I suddenly had, because you are just that inspiring. And then you came over to talk to me and I was just filling another page with clothes for you and I didn’t know what to do. So I ran,” Lan Xichen sheepishly admits and Jiang Cheng can only blink at him, because surely this must be a joke.

“What the hell are you on about?” Jiang Cheng finally manages to get out and he gives the sketchbook back to Lan Xichen, waiting for the punchline.

He’s not prepared for the look on Lan Xichen’s face though.

“You’re so beautiful,” Lan Xichen whispers again and it seems like he wants to reach out for Jiang Cheng before he remembers himself. “I’m sorry this made you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t for Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen finally says with a sad, small smile when Jiang Cheng can’t seem to find his words.

“Please don’t let this—It doesn’t mean anything,” Lan Xichen finally finishes and that jerks Jiang Cheng out of his stupor.

“Of course it does!” he almost yells out and Lan Xichen flinches. “Fuck, you can’t just say that and then pretend that it doesn’t mean anything,” he goes on, voice a little bit softer and his heart is hammering away in his chest.

He fears that he’s going to perish on the spot if Lan Xichen keeps insisting that this doesn’t mean anything, and so he shakes his head vigorously when it seems like Lan Xichen is going to protest against his words.

“I’ve had a crush on you ever since our brothers started dating,” Jiang Cheng finds himself blurting out and Lan Xichen’s eyes go big. “So if this means more, then I’m not opposed to that,” Jiang Cheng finishes weakly, and is not prepared for the huge smile that breaks out on Lan Xichen’s face.

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Lan Xichen beams at him and immediately reaches out to thread their fingers together.

“It still doesn’t mean I’m going to model for you,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, completely taken aback by how happy Lan Xichen seems, but even that doesn’t seem to do much to dampen his mood.

“That doesn’t matter,” Lan Xichen reassures him and Jiang Cheng finds that maybe he would like to model for him, if Lan Xichen keeps looking at him like this then.

Jiang Cheng will have to wait and see, though. He’s not going to dive into this head-first. At least not into modelling.

“Do you want to stay for—” Jiang Cheng leans slightly to the side so he can catch a glance at the clock, “lunch?” he then asks and Lan Xichen nods enthusiastically at him.

“I would love to,” he eagerly agrees and Jiang Cheng can’t help the small smile on his own face.

They still have to get to know each other and see where this will take them, but Jiang Cheng is cautiously hopeful about this and he can’t wait to spend more time with Lan Xichen.

And by how Lan Xichen squeezes his fingers, he’s feeling the same.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #xicheng #the untamed #modern au #getting together #fashion designer lan xichen #misunderstandings #hurt/comfort

[bumblebee-moreno]

Awkward meetings (GN!reader)

Request: "Awkward first meeting for all the boys" and "Awkward first meeting and You lost something very important to you and they’re helping you look for it with Frankie Morales" for @luminescentlily

(Boys included are: Din, Javier Peña, Agent Whiskey, Frankie Morales, Max Phillips, Marcus P, and Marcus M.

Warnings: None?

A/N: Sorry this took so long to write. I had to leave a few boys out due to writer's block (Ezra, Tovar, and Zach Wellison), and I wanted to get this posted rather than continuing to stare at the screen in hopes of my brain miraculously functioning. To make up for my lack of inspiration at least a little bit, I added Marcus Moreno. Hope that's ok :)

Din Djarin

You feel a tug at your pant leg. Looking down, you are greeted by a pair of large watery eyes and big green ears. “Well hello there,” you smile, crouching down to be closer to the small child. “Where’s your family?”

He simply responds by lifting his arms towards you. You take that to mean he’d like to be lifted up. Scanning through over the crowded marketplace, you search for someone who the kid might belong to. You really have no idea what you’re looking for, having never seen anything like him, but you search nonetheless.

“Hey!” an angry voice calls out behind you. You whirl around, and before you know what’s happening, the child has been torn from your grasp and there’s a blaster to your head.

“I wasn’t going to hurt him I swear, I was just trying to find his family,” you blurt out, raising your hands in surrender.

The figure in front of you doesn’t respond at first, keeping his blaster pointed at you while he inspects the child for injury.

“Why did you have him?” The voice from under the helmet demands.

“I just found him by himself and I wanted to make sure he found his family,” you explain, voice shaking. “Are you his… Does he belong to you?”

“… yes.” He cautiously returns his blaster to its holster.

“I’m sorry,” you relax. “I didn’t mean to scare you. He’s just so… small. I didn’t want him to stay lost.”

The Mandalorian clutches the kid close to his chest as if he’s afraid they’ll be separated again. “Thank you.” He nods his head just enough for you to see the motion.

Javier Peña

“Shit, I’m going to be so fucking late,” you mutter to yourself, walking as fast as you can without sending the tall stack of papers in your arms flying.

On your way down the hall, you start going down your mental checklist.

‘Closed the window so the cat doesn’t escape? Check.’

‘Turned off the lights? Check.’

‘Locked the front door? Fuck.’

You stop in your tracks. How could you forget to lock your front door? You spin on your heel and run back towards your apartment, your one free hand switching between searching for your keys and adjusting the unstable tower balanced on your other arm.

In your haste to get your apartment locked so you can get to work on time, you fail to watch where you’re going.

Your body smacks into another. You fall backwards, losing your grip on the meticulously organised files. They scatter across the floor, completely losing the order you’d spent all night putting them in. The wind is knocked out of you for just long enough to hear the man you ran into grumping about how you should watch where you’re going.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I’m running late, I should’ve been paying more attention.” You pull yourself to your knees and start gathering your work off the floor. You’d normally stand and make sure the man you ran into is okay, but things at work are tense as it is, and being even later than you already are isn’t going to reflect well on you. Especially now that all of last night’s hard work needs to be done over.

You expect him to get up and walk past you. After his reaction to being practically tackled, you wouldn’t expect him to give you more than a second thought. But then a stack of papers lands on top of the one you’re already holding.

Your eyes shoot up to meet his. “You okay? You hit the ground kind of hard there,” Your neighbour asks.

You swallow thickly. “y-yeah, I’m fine,” you give a shaky smile. “How about you?”

“I’m all right, just running a bit late,” He offers a hasty smile before helping you to your feet. “I gotta get to work, but um, I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, momentarily forgetting how late you are.

Agent Whiskey

‘Ugh I really needed this day off,’ you type underneath the photo before pressing send.

You place your phone on the edge of the tub before relaxing back into the warm water.

It isn’t long before your phone buzzes. Your eyes widen in horror at the response:

‘I think you’ve got the wrong number, darlin’.’ It’s paired with a photo of a man you’ve never met.

He is kinda cute though. You’d never think the whole “unironically cowboy” thing could ever work but… No. No. You can’t be thinking that kind of stuff. You just texted a stranger a photo of you in the bath for fuck’s sakes, you can’t be attracted to him after that!

You frantically scroll up to examine the photo you sent, breathing a sigh of relief when you confirm that the photo you sent didn’t have anything too revealing in it; between the angle of the camera and the bubbles in your bath, nothing too embarrassing is visible.

‘Shit, I’m so sorry, that was meant for a friend ’

You pick up the shred of paper your best friend scribbled their new number on while you were at lunch with them yesterday, to figure out what happened.

‘not a problem, It’s a nice distraction from this god awful meeting I’m stuck in’

You frown. ‘You’re in a meeting and you’re texting a total stranger?’

You return your gaze to the phone number in your hand. “what in the fuck,” you say aloud to yourself. The second to last digit. It’s supposed to be a 4. Not a 9.

A shaky photo appears on your phone. It’s obviously taken from peeking just the camera of his phone over the edge of the table.

‘Damn, that looks like a serious meeting, shouldn’t you be paying attention?’ If you were texting at work, especially in a meeting, you’d have your ass handed to you unless someone was dying (and even then, it would depend on what kind of mood your boss is in that day). And this guy is just casually texting you, a stranger, during a meeting with people who look like they make more money weekly than what your whole car is worth.

‘I’m a bit more concerned that I don’t even know the name of the person who texted me such a lovely photo 😉’

‘It’s Y/N.’ you send. ‘And please delete that picture, that’s kinda private’ you ask, crossing your fingers that he respects that.

‘Already done. Mine’s Jack, since you obviously weren’t going to ask 🤠’

A soft smile appears on your face. Maybe it is kind of okay that you accidentally typed in the wrong number. Or… it will be after you (lovingly) cuss out your friend for having such bad handwriting.

Frankie Morales

“Shit.” You mutter to yourself, searching through your pockets. “shitshitshitshitshitshitshit” You swear you just had them. Or… maybe you left them on the counter back at the library?

You turn around to run back, rifling through your bag. You only make it a few steps before you’re knocked backwards to the ground.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you blurt the moment you catch your breath again. Barely sparing a glance towards the man you ran into, you start gathering your books.

“No, no. I’m sorry,” the man insists. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He helps to gather your books.

“You okay?” he finally asks.

You look up at him and freeze. He’s really cute. In the ‘I give the best hugs in the world’ kind of way.

“Yeah,” you respond breathlessly. “I just think I lost my car keys at the library, and I’m running late for lunch with a friend.” You mentally kick yourself. You just ran over the only attractive man you’ve seen since moving here, and then the first thing you do is overshare?

“Oh, did you want some help looking?” he immediately offers.

“I wouldn’t want to be any trouble.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugs. “I’ve got lunch plans I’m desperately trying to find an excuse to get out of, so you’re helping me, really.”

“Okay, um… sure,” you nod. “an extra set of eyes looking wouldn’t hurt.”

“Cool. I’m Frankie.”

You introduce yourself and shake his outstretched hand.

The two of you make your way back towards the library.

“so…” you break the uncomfortable silence. “Lousy lunch plans, huh?”

“…yeah,” Frankie falls silent for a moment. “A couple of guys I used to serve with invited me out and I didn’t really have an excuse to say no.”

“Don’t get along with them?”

“We used to be friends, but I’m kind of rethinking that lately.”

“Oh,” you debate asking more questions. But then again, he doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to, right? “Did… did something happen?”

“Convinced me to go to South America a while back, which would’ve been fine, except we kind of got stuck there, and my wife was left alone with the baby.”

Your stomach dropped at this. You’re not even sure why; you just met the guy, you really have no reason to be disappointed he’s taken.

“Was she at least understanding?” You ask.

“huh?”

“Your wife.”

“Oh,” Frankie chew his lip for a moment. “no. When I got back, she was… possessive. Searching my phone, never letting me go out with friends, that kind of stuff. Separated a few months later.”

“Oh,” you try to ignore the fact that your heart skipped a beat; you can’t be excited—that’s insensitive. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” Frankie pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, actually. I was helping you find your keys, and here I am ranting about my whole tragic backstory as if you actually cared.”

“I don’t mind.” You actually like listening to him. But you keep that to yourself.

“You shouldn’t have to listen to all that though—”

“Shit!” you interrupt him. “I’m such an idiot.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Frankie looks like he’s assuming the worst.

“…I didn’t lose my car keys. I walked here. And lunch with my friend is next week.” You chuckle bitterly. “I was so lost in my head I completely forgot she rescheduled. Sorry I wasted your time.”

“It’s okay,” Frankie laughs. You can’t help but smile at his lopsided dimple. “Hey, since you don’t have lunch plans and I want to get out of mine… Can I take you out? You can tell me your life’s story since you already know mine?”

“Sure,” you smile, though half of you is screaming to just leave the country to escape the embarrassment.

Max Phillips

“Ew, no.” you scrunch your nose.

“Hey, you’re the one that lost the bet.” Eva insists.

“I am not kissing a random stranger.” You sweep your gaze across the crowded café.

“It was your idea.” Eva sips her tea.

“That was because I thought I was going to win.” You cross your arms across your chest.

“You don’t get to opt out just because you’re a sore loser.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know them, what if they have a disease or something? Gross.” Your stomach turns at the idea.

“Okay, fine.” Eva sighs. And, for a fleeting moment, you have hope that she’s given in. “Kiss that guy then,” she points.

You turn. “Oh my god, Eva. No.”

“What? He doesn’t look like he has a disease,” Eva shrugs.

“He looks like a frat boy.”

“He’s cute though.” Eva leans in a not-at-all-subtle way to get a clearer view of him.

“I hate you.” You stand up. “And when I’m done, you’re buying me an entire bottle of vodka to wash my mouth with.”

“Yes!” Eva cheers triumphantly. A few people shoot her expressions of annoyance at the outburst.

You storm over to the man and pull him in by the collar. His lips barely brush against yours before you’re stomping back to your friend. Though, for a moment, you actually consider staying to talk to him. Eva was right, he definitely isn’t hard on the eyes.

You push the thought from your mind and collapse back into your seat, scowling at your friend.

“You’re literally the worst human being on the planet,” you huff.

“You’re just being dramatic,” Eva laughs.

“Am not.” Okay… maybe you are, but Eva can’t know that.

“Fine. We’ll go get you a drink once I’m back from the bathroom.” Eva skips off, still laughing about your reaction.

She’s barely out of sight before her seat is filled by the stranger you just kissed.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I lost a bet,” you don’t look up at him, instead choosing the glare at a stain on the wooden table.

“I figured as much.” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice. “I also figured I have the right to at least know the name of the person who just kissed me.”

You reluctantly introduce yourself, still refusing to make eye contact with the man.

“I’m Max. And, if you want to apologise for kissing me without my consent,” he throws a napkin with a phone number scribbled in red sharpie onto the table in front of you, “You can call me.”

Marcus Pike

You hum quietly to yourself, unable to stop smiling. It’s been so long since you’ve gone on a real date. You turn on your shower, but instead of water coming from the showerhead, it starts leaking from the base of the hose.

That can’t be good. You turn off the water and fiddle with the shower. Maybe it just came loose.

You reach for the handle to try the water again. But before your hand can even touch the cool metal, the entire shower head disconnects from the wall and clatters to the shower floor.

Letting out an exasperated groan, you start gathering your clothes into a bag. You really don’t have time for this today. Crossing your fingers your neighbour is home, you head next door.

You’ve never actually talked to him, but you figure he’s probably a safer bet than the crazy old neighbour on your other side; the way he looks at you whenever you run into him gives you the jitters. And not the “he’s a creep” kind of feeling you get when anyone else stares for too long. More like the “he’s probably got a taxidermy cat in his living room and a human body in his closet” kind of feeling. So the neighbour you’ve never even introduced yourself to will have to do.

Your knock echoes through the quiet air. Shifting from foot to foot, you wait impatiently for an answer.

The door clicks open, leaving you face-to-face with your neighbour, who is way cuter up close than you expected him to be.

“…hi,” He greets you as if he’s startled by your presence.

“…hi…” you bite your lip and tear your gaze away from his face to examine your shoe. “I… Well, I live next door, and well—”

“I know,” he interrupts.

“I-What?”

“I’ve seen you… around. We get home from work at the same time, so…”

“Oh.” You chew on your lip for a moment. “Look, my shower broke, and I have a date I have to get to, and well…” you drift off. Are you really asking your irresistibly adorable neighbour who you’ve never met if you can use his shower?

“Oh. Okay, did you want to use mine then?” You pretend not to notice how pink his face has turned.

“Would you mind? I just—I’m running late and I don’t have time to figure out what’s wrong with mine before I leave and still have time to get ready to go.”

“Sure, Come on in,” He shuffles out of the way to allow you space to enter. “Down the hall, second door to the right.”

“Thank you so much,” you smile awkwardly. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

You walk as quickly as you can without breaking into a run to get to the bathroom, leaving Marcus frozen in the doorway.

This is not how he imagined meeting you. Not that he imagined that at all. And he definitely hadn’t spent hours trying to figure out how to ask you out. Because that would be weird.

And he just let you use his shower to go on a date with someone else.

Fuck.

Marcus Moreno

“Excuse me,” a voice speaks up from behind you, just barely audible over your music. You turn around to find that the voice belongs to a young girl.

“Hello,” you greet taking out your headphones.

“Do you see that guy over there?” she asks, pointing across the cluttered bookstore to a man struggling to balance a tower of books while skimming the shelves for more.

“The one in the glasses?” you confirm.

“That’s my dad,” the girl nods. “He thinks you’re cute, but he’s too afraid to talk to you.”

“Oh,” you say, unsure whether you should be flattered or amused.

“He says it’s ‘cause he doesn’t want to weird you out,” she elaborates, “but I think he’s scared you won’t like him back.”

The man glances up, and, upon seeing his daughter talking to you, rushes over. He pauses only briefly when he trips over a box of books placed in the middle of the walkway.

“Oh, here he comes, act natural,” the girl whisper-yells just before her father arrives. “Oh, hey dad,” she greets him nonchalantly.

“Missy, what did we just talk about?” he scolds.

“I know, I know,” she rolls her eyes. “I shouldn’t go up to strangers and tell them my dad thinks they’re cute even when he totally does.”

Missy’s dad freezes, a look of horrified embarrassment washing over his face. “You… You told them what?”

“I’m going to shop some more,” she walks away, winking at you.

“Hey, you get back here, young lady,” he calls after her, struggling not to raise his voice above a murmur in the middle of the peaceful book shop. His daughter ignores him.

He groans under his breath. “I’m sorry about her,” he turns back to you.

“It’s okay,” you laugh. “I’m Y/N,”

“Marcus.” He looks down at his armful of books. “I’d uh… I’d offer a handshake but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” you smile. Marcus smiles back. You allow a moment of uncomfortable silence before speaking up again. “So… you think I’m cute?”

“What? No! I mean, Yes. I mean…” Marcus’ face scrunches up in embarrassment. “Yes? But not… not in a weird way. I wasn’t like… admiring you or anything. That’d be… weird.” Marcus hangs his head with an exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry. I’ll just shut up now.”

You smile again at the flustered man in front of you. After a moment, you pull a pen from your sweatshirt pocket.

“Well, here’s my number,” you say, writing as clearly as you can across his forearm. “You can text me if you decide you do think I’m cute… In a weird way.”

You walk to the counter to pay for your books, sincerely hoping he decides to text.

---

Taglist:

@pascalisthepunkest @trashbin2 @anatanotegami @beesting77 @northernpunk @pumpkin-stars

#Din djarin #Javier Peña #Agent Whiskey #Frankie Morales #Max Phillips #marcus pike #marcus moreno #gender neutral reader #gn reader #pedro pascal