#like we don't think about the Overall Things going on at the time but we remember the way the food smelled or the texture of the clothes etc
people: omg we finally get to see hyper!
me: omg we finally get to see more angles of kusuriuri's clothes!
observations and (A LOT OF) ranting under the cut:
1.)
The inside sleeve design has been revealed! It's pretty similar to the outside design but instead of that four-petal design, it's a gold circle. Also, it looks like the large eye is shared by both sides, but based on how the sleeve looks in other images, it must be really really big..... I guess they can get away with it lol. Like, if you laid out the sleeve fabric, I think it would look like this:
2.)
THE BACK OF HIS OBI. What the hell kinda knot is this actually... like, does anyone here know about obimusubi because I'm not very good at knots but if it comes down to it I will learn how this works. I already thought this based on the promo art but it seems like his obi fabric is double-sided, with purple on one side and the check pattern on the other, with a red trim. That lighter salmon color in the knot seems to be a different fabric, maybe an obiage? It's not tucked into the front so I'm not sure if that's the right term, but in any case it's some kind of extra fabric. If the purple and check are really one piece of fabric, then the knot is like... a hitch? It's some kind of one-loop bow, and it's quite bulky so he might have an obimakura in there. Whatever it is, it's considerably more elaborate than OG Kusuriuri's obi, which was that red brocade just tied into a large crooked bow. Who is helping movie Kusuriuri get dressed in the morning? (I'm sure he can do it himself and I commend him for the dedication to the aesthetic lol).
3.)
His mirror is now kept looped around this thick cord that kind of comes out of nowhere and disappears into his obi. First of all, how is the mirror staying up like that since the string is only looped once. Second, the thick white cord looks the same as the one that comes out of the left side of his obi and loops around his back, but I'm not sure how they would connect. Logically, they probably are the same cord and it goes through his obimusubi somehow.
4.)
This one was actually noticeable in the very first trailer as you can tell, since the second screenshot is from that trailer, but I somehow never noticed it until now. Kusuriuri has neck markings now! In a different frame I caught a glimpse of the part that goes into his collar, it looks like a circle, though it's not visible in either of these screenshots. But from the first screenshot and some other frames I saw, it looks somewhat off-center. I wasn't sure if it was just a weird frame at first, but it looks consistent the few other times (time?) that part of his neck is visible. It looks like the strip of red that leads down to the circle curves off to the left rather than going straight down the center. I didn't realize this before but his neck is actually concealed in most of the promo images.
5.)
A better look at the back of his socks, plus two things that were visible this whole time but I didn't notice: first, his black leggings have this folded layer you can probably see on top. I'm not sure how to describe it and I don't know exactly how it works. It seems weird to me that he would have three sock layers (outer black, inner black, white), so I think the two black layers are probably still part of the same sock. I'm just not sure exactly what's up with it. Secondly, his geta have metal corners on the teeth! I don't think I've seen that on real geta, so maybe it's just a random detail, but if it's a thing on some real geta, I wonder if it's to keep the wood from wearing away there. Also another think I'm just noticing, there's a reinforcing wedge of wood under the front part of his geta that overhand the front tooth. You can see it a little in the second image.
Overall, that's all the new design stuff I noticed. Since I just drew him twice and spent like all day thinking about this, I've realized his design is way more elaborate than the original one. He has a bunch of little doodads, like the ties around his ankle or that decorative tie that comes out of his ohashori:
which still bothers me because I've never seen the back of it. Where are those strings going. And how is it secured in the first place? is it tied or pinned underneath his ohashori, like on the tie under the obi (not sure if there's a name for it)? What is it? Why does he have this here?
These details as well as things like the corners and wedge on his geta, the red trim on the obi and the check pattern, and his elaborate eye make up are all design elements that could never really have worked for a tv show. It's impressive to me even that OG Kusuriuri had that hand drawn brocade texture and the designs on his kimono that he did. It's the type of thing animators usually avoid, lol.
I like the movie design visually, but my god is it a pain in the ass to draw. Due to the aforementioned details of course and the wider variety of colors.
Oh yeah, my last (for real) observation is that this Kusuriuri looks a lot less human than our OG friend. His skin is entirely whitish-grey, and he has that white/purple and red hair, and now he has markings on his neck instead of just on his face. (Unrelated but I feel like they made his lip tattoo less prominent and it makes me sad because it's one of my favorite things about Kusuriuri's design). But Hyper, from that very small glimpse we caught of him, looks more mundane than the original. I think it's the combination of his black hair and his markings being red instead of gold. I wonder what the rest of him will look like.... It was interesting to me that his face is drawn differently from Kusuriuri. In the TV anime, they have the same face shape and features, but their hair and coloring is different. And OG Hyper had a slightly different version of Kusuriuri's clothes. We can't see this new Hyper's clothes, but his face is more square looking. He looks like a different person... interesting lore implications.
Okay, I really must stop there.
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I wanted to be cringe and draw King Magnifico.. (not a redesign, just wanted to get him out of that ugly stank ass outfit of his, like do my man a favor)
Also, just a warning, a rant is in coming
Regarding Wish
I watched Wish a while back- and it's been on my mind since then. Now, you're probably asking yourself "wow! They must've liked this movie so much that they are still thinking of it," WRONG. This movie, singlehandedly, was the worst Disney film I have ever seen with my own two eyes..
How your movie gonna feel like a million things happened and nothing at the same time? How are you all flopping after making classic after classic?
I know that a lot of Disney fans currently are claiming that the movie wasn't that bad, but by saying that.. you're still saying it had something bad in it and let's be honest, it was everything from music, art, story, etc.
I don't like being negative though, so let's talk about one thing that I did like.. that being King Magnifico. [The crowd boos]
Now, I hate to defend a man whose villain song made my ears bleed but I gotta— since through the whole story I was cheering for Homie. In a way, he had a point to fear who gets their wish granted but at the same time, it wasn't correct he was keeping them for himself, duh. This right here could have served us enough content to make an interesting premise, let's be honest.. wishing upon a star doesn't do shit, but in the same context.. let people still try to achieve their dreams. (The princess and the frog did this.)
Overall, I wouldn't have minded all too much if they had redeemed Magnifico— his bad qualities which are having the biggest ego, being a narcissist, could have led to an interesting story where he learns to be more humble but at the same time, kind. Even then, being kind was something we saw him doing.. he carried a heavy burden of wanting to appease all of the kingdom goers. That in a way, it was hard not to feel sorry when he lowers the curtain to unveil a man who is accustomed to being used as a genie rather than being able to form meaningful connections with people.
In a way, his character (as well as everyone else's character in this movie) felt like wasted potential. If this is the way that every single original IP of Disney is going to be, then someone needs to pull the plug because I cannot sit through another Wish.
TLDNR: King Magnifico felt like he had multiple personality disorder in this film because it seemed like he was good then bad— but also, King Magnifico had a point and subsequently was then jumped on camera and ended up on world star.
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Toji proposing to you
Toji proposing to you
It's been years since you and Toji had been in a relationship, You've made bonds with Megumi and Tsumiki and your relationship has gotten stronger over the years. Thanks to you they were able to live a happy life with a complete family.
But years pass, Megumi and Tsumiki are wondering when you'll marry Toji.
Kids their age ask why your parents aren't married. And they don't know how to answer them because it is very complicated.
Ever since, Megumi and Tsumiki kept bringing the Idea to Toji
"DAD, WHEN WILL YOU MARRY MOM?" Tsumiki yelled at her father, thankfully you were out to buy groceries so they can confront him about.
"Why, what's the matter? Me and her are together. That's what what matters." Toji said as Tsumiki hits her with a punch.
"IF YOU DON'T MARRY MOM ANOTHER MAN WILL SEE IT AS A SIGN THAT SHE'S AVAILABLE TO TAKE!!!" Tsumiki angrily yells at the man infront of her.
"Alot of guys kept asking mom for her number and thought I was her brother." Megumi said to stir his mind up.
"SEE?!? IF YOU DON'T ACT NOW, SHE'LL VANISH! HEAR ME??!?? VANISH!!!!"
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE SEES IN YOU DAD YOU'RE OLD AND CRANKY!!!" She huffs at him.
"I doubt anyone other than mom can handle you, SO SEAL THE DEAL!!!" Tsumiki yells again
"Tsumiki why are you yelling at your Dad again?" You spoke as you just got home.
"BECAUSE DADS STUPID! I WANT ICE CREAM!!!" She yells as she runs to you with a hug as Megumi comes in to hug you as well.
You didn't hear what happened but you thought it was just the kids nagging Toji about junk foods again.
"Okay okay, a little bit of ice cream isn't bad." You said as you pulled out some ice cream from your groceries.
"YAYYYY!!! WE LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!" Tsumiki squeals in glee
"Thank you, Mommy I love you." Megumi says as he kisses your cheek.
"I LOVE YOU MOMMMEEHHH!!" Tsumiki yells as she kisses you too.
As they both got the Ice cream, they sat on the couch to watch some movies with you.
After that talk with Tsumiki and Megumi, Toji got to thinking.
He did wanted to marry you but he's worried if he afford a grand wedding for you. He heard that girls like big weddings.
So he's been secretly saving money up, but Tsumiki was right.
You were younger than him, beautiful, smart, energetic. Who wouldn't want you?
He thought should speed up on his plan as he took more missions.
While you on the other hand, were getting worried about Toji, as he kept coming home very very late.
He kept using work as an excuse, and you trust him.
You sighed as you were stressed about your relationship with him.
Ever since you knew he was an assassin you get VERY worried, you had accepted Toji for who he is and accepted it.
But of course you wanted some things to change to have a healthy happy life with him, hopefully one day he'll quit gambling and assassination overall.
*After a few days*
"Tsumiki, Megumi let's go out." Toji said as he was walking to the front door.
"Why?" Megumi asked.
"We're picking a ring for mama" Toji said as Tsumiki butted in.
"Mom should be the one who chooses the wedding ring Dad! It's the new hype these days." Tsumiki said
As Toji just stood there, "I don't get what that means."
"It means what if mom doesn't like the ring? These days I've heard the guys will propose with a ring but later on they'll let the girl choose the ring-" Tsumiki
"Gosh, how hard is it to marry these days." Toji sighed.
"Hard enough that half of the population is still unmarried." Tsumiki crosses her hands.
"Aight, You do it then plan the proposal." Toji said as he hands Tsumiki the money.
"OKAY I KNOW THE BEST PLACE." Tsumiki said as she drags her father and brother out.
At the Mall, Toji was shocked at the ring prices.
"This can feed us for an entire fucking month" He said
"Language Dad, I'll tell on you." Tsumiki said
"let's get over with, mom is going to be home any time soon." Megumi complains as Tsumiki was taking so long to choose.
"It's done." Tsumiki said as she raised the ring up in the air.
Toji and Megumi looked at the ring.
"It looks kinda plain" Megumi says.
"Mom likes plain and elegant jewelry didn't you notice? Of course not you're both boys." She said as she walks to the counter to have it wrapped up and paid.
Tsumiki and Megumi helps alot with the preparations on the engagement.
They were going to surpise you.
Meanwhile you, were getting suspicious as your family is clearly hiding something from you, so after coming home from work.
You decided to confront them, you opened the door to hear balloons popping, Two kids fighting and a lot of groaning from an adult man who's trying to hang designs.
"IT LOOKS HORRIBLE DAD!" Tsumiki yells
"Mom's coming home we better-" Megumi spoke as he got interrupted when he saw you.
"Too late." He said as Toji turned to see you as he lost balance on the chair he was standing on as he fell down.
"TOJI!! Are you okay? That must've hurt." You rush to him concerned.
"I've fought stronger enemies, something like this won't do anything." said still sitting on the floor.
"Still, But what were you guys doing." You asked as you shifted your eyes around.
As you saw a banner that isn't being covered by Toji's body anymore.
-> //Will you marry me?
You gasped and yelled "YES!!!" you immediately hugged and kissed him.
"Ewwww" Tsumiki and Megumi said both at the same time.
"UGHHH THIS ISN'T ROMANTICCCCC"
"Congratulations though mama and papa!" She said as she smiles.
"Congratulations" Megumi said as Tsumiki takes her phone out to take a picture.
"Say cheese!!!"
"Cheese!!!"
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So I know I'm like several years late to the party with this, I just played it for the first time recently, but for those in this F/F discourse who like me, their big stumbling block with a lot of F/F fanfic is that they're specifically into messier, kinkier or more "toxic" dynamics between women than the romantic friends-to-lovers fluff that seems to predominate these days (though considering this is a common complaint, is probably already on the way out): cannot recommend the visual novel Ladykiller in a Bind enough. Especially the route with the Beauty - not gonna spoil, but you'll have fun, at least if you're not totally turned off by BDSM.
Anyway, has anyone noticed that it feels like even if F/F fandom is moving away from the fluff-only stuff, a lot of people who sign up for F/F in fanfic exchanges seem to be realllllly fluffy in their preferences? Like even in a lot of kink-centric ones (like kink in the BDSM/fetish sense, not the way fanfic uses it as just "trope you like"), it's a lot of stuff like that "consensual sex pollen" thing people were ranting about a few asks ago. I feel like the only way I can get the kind of F/F I really like in exchanges is if I get like five of my like-minded friends to sign up, and then we either end up just writing for each other, or are writing and receiving some M/M or F/M ship we also requested.
I sometimes wonder, because this is a trajectory that I went through myself and have seen so many other lesbians and bi women go through, that it has to do with comfort level about your sexuality. Like I was kind of afraid when first coming out to admit the freakier, less "good representation" style stuff I liked, and then once I got over it I was like making up for lost time. Especially when it seems like a lot of people with those preferences also buy heavily into "anti" thinking (like people have discussed with the Rhaenicent stuff), I do kind of wonder if it's motivated by shame in your less "moral "desires. THough obviously a lot of people just like fluffier stuff naturally and can process all they want and that's still goign to be what they like. I tend to have fluffier, more romantic preferences in M/M for whatever reason and all the processing in the world hasn't made me more want to read whumpier or kinkier fic.
(I'm a lesbian, ftr, and again I don't wnat to seem like I'm shaming anyone else, but I have kind of wondered what it means that /I/ am into one thing with the gender I'm actually attracted to IRL and one thing very different with the one I'm not. And then my preferences in F/M seem to be a lot more situational, depending on the ship or the fandom in question or the fanfic writer, etc.)
Also wondering if even more generally, what y'all have noticed is the difference in the overall patterns of preferences of people who sign up for fanfic exchanges vs. fanfic writers as a whole. As someone who does a lot of exchanges, it's something I've kind of wondered about in myself, too, especially compared to my friends who aren't as into them as much.
--
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My favorite fics of all time
For my birthday this year (I'm turning 30!!!) I thought what better way to celebrate the day I was born but also ✨ the day all my favorite characters died ✨ by giving you all some good fics! Happy May 2nd!!!
Running on Air (T): An oldy but a goody! I remember reading this a couple years ago when I rediscovered my love for drarry! I had spent my formative years on fanfic dot net obsessing over drarry and this brought it all back in one fell swoop.
Way down we go (T): I stumbled upon this one 2 years ago and I've been rereading it ever since. It's silly and lovely and they are in Alabama. What more could be said about it? A fantastic and beautiful story and I love it so much.
A big black sky (M): if I had to pick only one fic to read for the rest of my life, it would be this one. I love everything about this fic. It's sweet and loving and kind and wholesome and so sad and just wretchedly the best thing I've read. I reread this at least 2 times a year. And every reread it just gets better and better!
A pulled down shade (M): this one is newer to my list but I can already say this is a great and phenomenal fic! The author put their soul into this fic you can really tell, the effort and the love and the hard work. Truly an amazing read and an amazing story!!!
Nice things (M): I'm a sucker for an eighth year fic and this one is very good. I love a pot smoking draco something about it really gives me the vibes I don't know why. This whole fic is wholesome and it deserves so much love!
You've got the antidote for me (M): listen. Soulmate fics. I need more of them okay? I need so many. I love them so much they make me physically ill. Read this it's so good and sweet with a touch of sad.
Burn the witch (E): big fan of the bodyguard trope! This one also has Scorpius in it and I love when Scorpius is in things it makes me happy every time! But a good fic, very interesting plot and the characterization is very good and the ocs are super good too!!
I was late (you were early) (E): one of those "if we both aren't married in 10 years" fics and it's so good! There's also one in draco's pov I'll find you again (I always do)! It's a very cute story and I loved it a whole lot!
Everything a word can mean (T): a short and sweet little ficlet! It's of course a soulmate fic where they have names that their soulmates call them written somewhere on their bodies. And Harry's just so happens to be savior.
10:37 PM on the Floor of the Seventh Floor Corridor Near the Dancing Trolls (G): another short and sweet ficlet! Takes place during 6th year outside of the room of requirement! Very good and I love the characterization and I enjoy the authors take on this part of the books!
Say anything (M): professors au is one of my favorite aus!!!! And mic it with a French speaking draco and a secretly French speaking Harry! It only gets better!!
Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) (T): I loved this fic a whole lot and really enjoyed the dynamic between Harry and Ginny in his oddly enough. I thought it was a very real and thought out fic that also at the same time was wholesome and sweet while going over sexuality and desire. I loved it a whole lot and it made my demisexual heart sing when I saw asexual rep.
Nearly lost things, carefully tended (E): antiques dealer draco and home owner Harry! Harry has some weird things for Draco to look at and he certainly doesn't pick the weirdest things he can find just for the blonde. Nah. Read it. It's great and silly and overall very fun!
I can't think of any more but make sure you leave comments and kudos if you like a fic!!
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Keith VS Kagari
The Beast Tempts the Little Rabbit Episode 2
*Updated sentence
Ep 1 | Ending | Epilogue
*Keith: "Hunting someone down...?"
Keith: "...Is such thing a common occurrence?"
Kagari: "It is in Kogyoku."
Keith: "..."
(Oh, there's a crease between Prince Keith’s eyebrows...)
Kogyoku is a country in turmoil. While there may be areas with good security depending on the territory, the overall situation isn't good.
(Perhaps the normal in Kogyoku is different from what I consider normal.)
Kagari: "Don't worry, there won't be a war. I just need stop a negotiation from happening."
Kagari: "But, it's not so minor of an offense that I can just let things slide either."
Glancing at the sword leaning against the table seemed to send a chill that caressed my heart.
Keith: "...I get the gist of it. I'll help with your search."
Keith: "But just one thing, please understand that this is Jade, not Kogyoku.
Keith: "If anyone poses as a threat to my people, I intend to impose the appropriate punishment, even if it's you, Kagari."
Keith: "Understand?"
(He's completely different from his usual self.)
The gentle and calm demeanor is gone, and his voice carries a royal dignity, making the atmosphere tense.
Kagari: "I understand."
Kagari: "I've been told this every time I come to Jade, I'm getting tired of hearing it."
(So coming to Jade for troublesome reasons is not something new.)
Thinking about it, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for Prince Keith.
Keith: "Finding them quickly is also in the interest of the city's safety."
Keith: "Kagari, can you tell me the description of the person you're looking for?"
Kagari: "A male merchant with black hair, and his height is—
(Wait, could it be…?)
…..
Keith: "Emma."
Emma: "Wah...!"
Keith: "S-Sorry! I got too close, didn't I? I didn't mean to startle you."
Keith, moving his chair back with a jump, coughed softly, his eyes darting around.
Keith: "While Kagari was talking, you had a troubled look on your face, so I got curious."
Emma: "Well... I thought the person Kagari was looking for resembled the one I bumped into earlier in the city."
Kagari: "Where did he go?"
I relayed the location of the collision and how the man disappeared into the mansion along the deserted street.
Keith: "I believe there's a charity party being held at that mansion."
Kagari: "The mansion’s within the event area. It's perfect for slipping into the crowd and taking hostages if something happens."
Keith: "..."
Kagari: "Just kidding. You'll get wrinkles on your forehead with that expression. Lighten up."
Keith: “I think I already have wrinkles.”
(Kagari's jokes never sound like jokes...)
Kagari: "Thank you for the meal."
With a dignified posture, Kagari clasped his hands together, leaving only an empty plate in front of him.
(All those dorayaki ended up in his stomach...)
(Is he a sweet tooth, or just a big eater? Or maybe it’s just dorayaki he indulges in?)
Kagari: "Keith, do we need an invitation for the party?"
Keith: "No, it should be open to anyone."
Kagari: "Then there's no issue."
Emma: "You’re going in?"
Kagari: "Since we don't know if he's still in the mansion, it wouldn’t be wise to wait for him to come out."
Kagari: "And I'd rather not waste effort for no gain."
Kagari: "So, Princess."
Emma: "Hmm?"
He grabs my hand abruptly.
Keith: "Just a moment, Kagari."
This time, Prince Keith grabs my other hand.
Keith: "What are you planning to do with Emma?"
Kagari: "She'll be accompanying us to the party."
(...What?)
Kagari: "It’d be easier to blend in at a party with a her than with another man."
Kagari: "And if something happens, it'd be easier for me to protect her."
(I’m going too!?)
…..
A few hours later—
Keith: "Emma, I want you to hit me."
Emma: "I not going to hit you."
I accepted Kagari's offer and came to the charity party.
Standing next to me, was Prince Keith with a visibly apologetic expression, and his eyebrows furrowed.
Keith: "But I got you involved in trouble. I need to get punched once on the cheek and once in the stomach to make it fair."
Keith: "Oh, but then your beautiful hand would turn red. I’ll need to compensate you with something else."
Kagari: "Let me do it. I'm used to throwing punches."
Kagari, who stood on the opposite side of Prince Keith, slightly leaned toward me.
(Even though we've only known each other for a few hours, it surprising how quickly we've grown so close...)
Emma: "I appreciate both of your concern for me."
Emma: "However, I don't feel like I've been dragged into trouble at all, so please don't worry."
Emma: "I haven't thanked either of you yet for picking up my wallet or for help me earlier, so..."
Emma: "I'm actually grateful for the opportunity to be of help to guys."
Keith: "Emma..."
Emma: "Besides, if something bad is about to happen, I want to stop it too."
Emma: "You can trust that I have the courage and determination to overcome whatever comes our way."
I clenched a fist to show my determination.
Kagari: "That's the kind of spirit we're looking for. Well done, Princess."
Keith: "Emma, you can rest assured that we will keep you safe."
Keith: "Thank you for agreeing to do this. Let's work together until we find the person we're looking for."
Emma: "Right, I will do my best. And thank you."
The uncertainty vanished from Prince Keith’ face and was replaced by relief.
(Alright, let's find him.)
I discreetly scan the room, searching for the targeted man.
Since entering the mansion, I had been carefully observing my surroundings, but there didn't seem to be anything suspicious about the party itself.
Unaware of any shady dealings happening behind the scenes, the participants seem to be enjoying themselves.
Woman: "Hey, do you think it’s okay for me to approach them?"
Woman: "But they’re already with a lady. Which gentleman is her companion?"
Woman: "W-well, it couldn’t be both, could it...?"
(Sure enough, it’s conspicuous having two men with one woman!)
(But we don’t know what kind of mischief Kagari might cause if he’s alone.)
(And Prince Keith advised against me being alone with Kagari, saying he would push me to my physical and mental limits.)
Both of them had strikingly handsome features, which made us even more noticeable, and I couldn't let my guard down while pretending to be a lady.
(But for now, it doesn't seem like we're being watched too closely.)
Keith: "Here you go, Emma."
Prince Keith, who was next to me, offers me a glass.
Emma: "Oh, thank you. I was actually feeling a bit thirsty."
Keith: "Really? Me too. Luckily, that servant happened to pass by us."
Keith: "Is non-alcoholic okay for you too, Kagari?"
Kagari: "Yeah. Just in case."
(Just in case?)
While pondering this question, I take a sip from the glass I received.
(Mmm! This drink is deliciously sweet and sour.)
It had a refreshing aftertaste, and it seemed to loosen up the tension and fatigue that I hadn't even realized I was feeling.
(Maybe I was too tense.)
I silently thank Prince Keith for his subtle kindness.
Kagari: "..."
Emma: "Um, what's the matter, Kagari?"
Feeling a sudden gaze from beside me, I lift my head.
Kagari looks me up and down for a while —
Kagari: "You're cute, Princess."
Emma: "Is there some meaning behind that compliment?"
(While it's nice to receive praise, it's so sudden that I can't help but suspect there might be something more to it.)
Kagari: "I just remembered being taught to compliment people these types of situations."
(I see, it's just social etiquette.)
Keith: "Setting aside what was just said, I've been thinking the same thing as Kagari.”
Keith: "Emma, every dress you tried on looked great."
Keith: "That light-colored dress with abundant lace was also cute. Oh, and the next one you tried on—"
With a furrowed brow, Keith smiles softly, making my heart flutter.
(That's right. There’s another thing other than the dresses that was chosen for me.)
Remembering, I touch my chest.
There, a brooch depicting cherry blossoms with pale pink gems and pearls sparkled.
Kagari: "It's small, but surprisingly eye-catching."
Kagari: "Seems we found a flower that suits you besides roses."
Emma: "I'm happy to hear you say that, since you’re the one who chose it for me."
Keith: "But it was unexpected. For you to pick out a brooch for someone else?"
Kagari: "It might come in handy in case you encounter an enemy alone, Princess."
(Oh...)
Keith: "Kagari... perhaps that’s the main reason you gave it to her?"
Kagari nodded as if it were obvious.
Kagari: "Aim for the opponent's eyes with the brooch pin and create an opportunity to escape."
Kagari: "Remember, hesitation can be fatal. When you strike, do it decisively. Got it?"
Emma: "...I'll keep that in mind."
(To think that was the reason... it's oddly like Kagari.)
(But considering the color and design of the dress didn't clash,)
(He probably didn't choose this brooch just to create an opportunity to escape.)
That small gesture of thoughtfulness seemed to further motivate me.
(Are they still in the mansion...?)
I tidied my slightly disheveled hair in another room and headed to the dance hall where the two of them were waiting.
Since then, we've checked the dining room, the reception room, and the entrance, but found no clues.
(It's too early to give up.)
(We haven't seen every part of the mansion yet, so he could be on the other side of the dance hall—)
Man: "..."
(Th-there he is...!!)
Emerging from around the corner was undoubtedly the man I bumped into in the city.
My heart races with excitement and tension at the sudden appearance.
(He's heading deeper into the mansion. I need to inform the two of them quickly.)
(But it might be better to figure out where he's going first.)
I took a step forward.
(―Huh!?)
At that moment, someone suddenly pulled me back.
Next
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TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life
Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.
First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.
Secondly, spoilers <3
Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.
BUBBLE
So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.
Caine Cares Too Much
While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.
But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.
Zoobie
Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.
Pomni's Child Comment
While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.
Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.
Gangle
My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.
Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.
Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.
Government Mandated Shipping
I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.
Kinger and Raggs
This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.
Jax's Disappointment
So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.
Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.
We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.
So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.
Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture
Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"
Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.
Depression
Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.
Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.
But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.
But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.
"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"
And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.
But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."
The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.
Finding Your Place
This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.
And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.
I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.
Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.
The Bigger Picture
We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.
I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.
I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.
It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.
Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.
It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.
In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.
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unfinished business
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watched the ml movie
that sure was smth that happened on my screen for real uhuh
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it’s so beautiful to me that what triggers anya’s memory of her past isn’t some big national secret or something inherently tied to the politics of her family or even her social class, it’s just a simple sensory detail of sitting in a carriage on a hot day and catching sight of a boy running after them
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fun fact about me: i'm insecure about so many random things that i've never flipped anyone off in my 22 years of life because i think my middle finger looks awkward and ugly by itself
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It's funny cause for the most part of the game, I didn't really care about people's criticisms of Engage's writing and thought they were just mad the story was straightforward and didn't try to be overly complex... But now that I'm (finally) reaching the endgame, there's a loooot of weird plotholes that 3H would be jealous of lol.
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I love my friends
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people on twt are like. so genuinely mad about tyson being put on waivers (esp when they think rossi should be sent down instead) and my thing is just that. we weren't using him right. right? like he was good in the pre-season and when he's allowed to exist in a scoring role rather than a checking one, which dean isn't giving him (because, despite the state of our team generally at the moment, scoring forwards aren't supposed to be where our issues are) so waiving him/sending him somewhere else will at least give him the chance to get that? you know? he could go somewhere where he (a) gets to play consistently and (b) plays to his own strengths rather than what people keep deciding he should be doing.
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