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#bc (a) his development has been seriously fucked by covid
tblueger · 1 year
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people on twt are like. so genuinely mad about tyson being put on waivers (esp when they think rossi should be sent down instead) and my thing is just that. we weren't using him right. right? like he was good in the pre-season and when he's allowed to exist in a scoring role rather than a checking one, which dean isn't giving him (because, despite the state of our team generally at the moment, scoring forwards aren't supposed to be where our issues are) so waiving him/sending him somewhere else will at least give him the chance to get that? you know? he could go somewhere where he (a) gets to play consistently and (b) plays to his own strengths rather than what people keep deciding he should be doing.
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whyjm · 3 years
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Why I did not like the Spn finale
This is gonna be a long post..
I cannot get over my thoughts about how it ended and how bad I feel about it. I am so angry, sad and feel so utterly disappointed, I cannot wrap my mind around how this was supposed to be a satisfying tying up emotional archs ending??? Bc it was so far away from satisfying I would laugh if I was not presently crying over it..
There are several things that irked me a lot. Many people have voiced the problems of this show and its ending much more eloquently than I will ever be able to do.. But I gotta get these fucking thoughts and feelings out of my system.
I have been with Spn since the first episode aired. I am a straight woman, I don’t have to fight for representation, I don’t have to worry about coming out and being accepted for who I am, I don’t have the daily struggles of feeling anxious or depressed or suicidal or not being able to be who I am. I am lucky that way!
To me love is love and all love should be equal! And I stand with all who struggle and all who are not free to be who they are. I see you and I love you and I support you fully!!!
To see my friends having to fight, and then on top of that have a show that has meant so much to so many people be butchered and have a negative last message sent out, in its last 36 minutes of its life … It is a hard pill to swallow.
Cas and Dean  
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In 15x18 we got to have a beautiful confession from Cas to Dean where Cas tells Dean he loves him and we know this is romantic love bc Cas begins by saying that the one thing I want I know I can’t have and then later I love you. Also Misha confirming it! This scene made me ugly cry so hard bc FINALLY.. (BUT what is missing from it.. the editing is strange.. bc Cas pushes Dean to the right but he falls to the left. Dean has no tears in his eyes while he looks straight at Cas when he talks, but he has tears in his eyes when he looks over his shoulder and see the empty. So what in this scene has been cut away and WHY?) Misha and Jensen did a great job with this and Cas got to find peace in just speaking his truth...  And it was beautiful to watch and after having seen Dean sitting sobbing on the floor the natural and logical continuation of this would have been to in the next episode address this, but in episode 19 no such thing happened. And I wondered where did Dean’s grief go where did his CARE for Cas go?? Dean who has been depressed and suicidal when Cas have died before is all of sudden cold and act like nothing have happened at least nothing that affected him very deeply.. It felt disconnected and strange. And it continued on like that and it felt very strange to NOT address such a HUGH plot point. It’s not enough to have Dean say to Chuck to bring Cas back or to see him wasted out of his mind, or hugging a dog like his emotional wellbeing depends on it.. This is not resolution or addressing it.
All of season 15 has felt like the relationship between Cas and Dean has been in focus and important to the overall arch of the season, and explored and then all of a sudden all traces of it are just ripped away, erased completely.. To have a confession like this go unacknowledged to me is poor writing bc you do not leave this big of a thing hanging in the air without resolution (fine you can argue Cas got resolution but I feel that no Cas did not get resolution either bc his feelings SHOULD have gotten a response no matter what that response was.. Dean did not, we never got to hear or see his version or his thoughts about it.)
I was thinking narratively they HAVE to address this, Deans thoughts and reactions to this gotta be shown. They HAVE to resolve this, acknowledge it. I have been sure a long time they would NEVER have Dean reciprocate Cas love  but keep it in subtext bc they are too fucking chickenshit to do that but at least have Dean talk about Cas….. that I expected him to do.. But it was not done in 19. I got the horrible feeling in my gut that they are not gonna resolve this they are gonna fuck this up, they are gonna go full brothers only and not give a fuck they are gonna push Cas out and show no care. Then we come to the final episode and boy howdy is there a lot to unpack with this episode.
(I had watched the long road home before the finale and when I watched that I KNEW that the end was going to be a letdown I felt it in all of me that I was gonna be disappointed. And I was proven right. And I have so many thoughts all jumbled up around each other that I don’t know in which end to start so sorry if what follows is incoherent and rambly.. )
15x20 - The end  
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20 felt like a FILLER episode, right up until Dean’s death scene I was bored and was seriously considering turning my computer of and just not watch. (A finale should be as engaging and emotionally packed like episode 18 was. I refuse to acknowledge 20 as the end.. To me it ended on 19. That wrapped things up. Not completely satisfying but hell of a lot better than the disaster that 20 is.) But then Dean was impaled on that rusty spike thingy and I was watching with attention. I GET why they did Deans death the way they did, even if that is one shitty death for Dean and could have been fixed so he did not die.. I get what they wanted to get out of it: a brothers sad moment that they turned into a irksome thing. I actually cringed about the head thing and the hands and the farming of it all just urgh I got sick to my stomach watching that. What should have been a beautifully sad moment was put together in a romantic coded way and that to me ruined the heartfelt goodbye. Bc you do not touch and hold a dying family member like that. I KNOW I have said goodbye to my fair share of loved ones that I have loved soo deeply, but the thought of touching like that NO no way.. And also they have NEVER done that forehead touch in previous deaths, so to do this now just felt irksome.
They killed Dean a character that has struggled his whole life with being daddy’s blunt little instrument, who has self-worth issues and are suicidal, who has never lived for his own sake but have only ever lived to protect and raise another, he continues to put others before himself though (up until the last couple of seasons where we have seen them both break away from this toxic behavior). Finally he was allowed to LIVE and have a life that was not controlled, not running in a hamster wheel like a fucking puppet on a string. He was Free of all of that. He was free to go after what HE wanted for himself and what Dean wanted was LOVE, in my mind its perfectly clear that Dean loves Cas back bc that is what the story have been telling us.. its right there and the story do not make sense without it. Many others have done a great job at talking about this and describe this way better than me. So I leave further discussion about that topic to them.
Dean was looking for a job.  The angel Dean has loved since purgatory told him that he loved him and then died sacrificing himself to SAVE Dean yet again and then Dean dies a few days later.. How is this doing justice to Dean and what the hell kind of message does this send out to the ones watching?? They are saying it does not matter if you fight, your destiny is written for you and the only relief and comfort you will have will be death. They are saying Meh don’t fight it’s better to die bc it does not matter what you do. This is one of the fucked up messages this godawful ending sent to all those who have identified with Dean and Cas throughout the years.
They also say Cas who has been part of the story for 12 years is not important enough to have there, they IGNORED Cas, a mention in passing does not do justice to a character that has been crucial to the boys lives for 12 years. Dean Screamed in Sam’s face CAS IS FAMILY, Dean was destroyed when Cas died, he was hurt when Cas left bc everyone leaves Dean, Sam missed Cas etc… but still not important enough to show up in heaven in the last episode greeting first Dean and then Sam to heaven.. PFT…
To leave Cas and Misha out of the FINALE of a show that he has been part of for 12 years is so fucking disrespectful to Cas, to Misha and ALL the fans who love and adore both. It also makes no sense since  they all say how beloved Cas and Misha are. and don’t go fucking covid made it impossible bc the last scene with all those people without masks.. No that is just lying liars who lie…Covid my ass! This angers me a lot.
Family do end in ONLY blood apparently…..  
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(And maybe lead to a lot of viewers for walker???  hence this very nice shirltess Sam scene............. ) shirtless Sam is always good though so no complaining here.
We see Sam and the dog give Dean a hunters funeral.. NO OTHERS are there?  How is it possible that none of the found family wouldn’t want to be there and show up?? Jack has restored everyone but still only Sam and the dog are there, no Eileen, no Jody and the girls, Donna, Garth, and the list goes on and on. Bc they wanna hammer in harder that supernatural has ever only ever been about two brothers and no one else matters ever.. It does not matter that this has not been true since the earlier seasons. The show of course is about Sam and Dean’s lives and journey through life, and I have loved to follow along on their journey.  BUT it was a long time ago this was the ONLY thing that mattered (bc if it had only been about the brothers the show would NOT have gone on for this long). Along the way they have picked up FOUND Family, and the message of the show has been Family don’t end in blood, Always Keep Fighting. But this last episode reverted back to season 1 and disregarded ALL character growth and storytelling of the past 12 years and went with fuck it ONLY Sam and Dean are important. So the next fucked up message they sent where: There is no Family don’t end in blood.. The only family that matters is blood. And then they have the balls to say Always Keep Fighting.. Are they fucking kidding????
Character development…….. who????  
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Sam lives on after Dean dies and we get a montage of his life where he look miserable and is shown to not being able to get over that Dean died. We get a blurry wife and a kid named Dean. In his house there are photos of ONLY himself, Dean and their parents and maybe one of his son? Don’t remember all the details and refuse to watch that episode ever again. But no friends, no family, no happy moments are shown, it looked like a very lonely life. He dies with only his son there.. WHERE are Sam’s friends??? This montage of Sam’s supposed happy life is NOT happy bc he is not able to get over that Dean is dead, he can’t live a  happy life bc Dean is not there - again something that irked me and felt disrespectful to all the growth Sam and Dean have gone through. It was toxic codependency all the way through and that is not satisfying to watch. Especially since the brothers had actually broken that dependency. Sam had broken free, Sam have through the years wanted to get away from Dean and live his life as he wants and then he was happy…We have a moment way back in season 5 maybe? Where Sam runs away and this is shown as one of his happy moments in dark side of the moon.. No Dean in his happy places, Sam having thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family, Sam alone with a dog. We have Sam and Amelia when Dean was in purgatory. So Sam IN text have been shown being able to be happy without Dean so why could he not do it this time?? Makes no sense! You can grieve but still have a good life.. But they CHOSE to show it like Sam was miserable bc Dean was dead and life was not worth living happily without Dean there..
The brothers have lately interacted like two individual adults, separated from each other, making their own decisions and trusting each other in making them, they wanted different things in life. And seriously WHERE DID EILEEN GO?? Why was Sam not reunited with Eileen that he some eps previous was shown to love, no instead they had blurry wife which feels like such a cop out. Sam did not get to live a happy fulfilling life and why did Sam not deserve to live a happy life with Eileen??? I know they are blaming corona for a lot of things missing in the finale that they intended.. BUT and this is a BIG BUT remember Jensen did not like the ending it did not sit well with him, he had a hard time digesting it, he objected to the ending! He spoke about that dying in battle would not be a satisfying ending - see the video of him talking about this at SDCC 2019. There is so much more to say about this but other people have voiced it so much better than I ever could so I move on to the next issue.
Dean in heaven  
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Dean when he first arrives there happens upon Bobby who tells him John and Mary lives down the road and that Rufus and Arheta lives around there too. I hope Bobby’s wife was indoors, and that Jack with the help of Cas fixed heaven.  To this Dean only smirk/smiles.. and then Dean sees baby and goes for a drive ALONE with the words he will be here soon from Bobby again Sam is the only one that ever matter PFT. Dean who found a home in the bunker alongside Sam, Cas and Jack who told John: I have a family and that he was happy with himself and his life…. Spends his time endlessly driving around alone just waiting for Sam to appear.. ALL of Deans growth is thrown out the window.. he is reduced to salad dressing. Deans only purpose is to live for his brother and cannot possibly have what he WANTS for himself not even in death. He drives around for who knows how many years until Sam dies. HOW is this justice to DEAN? How is this a good and satisfying ending for Dean. Dean who wanted to LIVE, Dean who wanted to experience people in new ways, who had let go of Sam and saw Sam as his own person, now in heaven only drives around waiting for Sam to get there having no life or meaning of his own. It pisses me off to no end that they reverted back to toxic codependent Sam is all that is important to Dean shit.. They have broken away from this shit years ago and this is how they choose to end it right back at the beginning..
Now what is the point of telling  a story of growth and love and life if all that that journey amounts to is ending up at the exact point it started on?? You can watch season 1 and 2 and then this finale and it makes sense.. But having watched season 1-15 this ending does great injustice to the characters and the story. Again many others have written way better posts about this that expresses the great disappointment and hurt that is being screamed everywhere right now.
The Actors
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I want to add the performance of all actors through the years, the love and care they have poured into their characters are amazing I have loved every bit of that journey. I love Jared, Jensen and Misha, and all the others for their amazing work and that is maybe why it hurts so much it ended in this way!
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springday-aus · 3 years
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Hockey Player!AU with Mark
moodboard link
Group: NCT
Member: Mark Lee 
Genre: fluff, romance 
Additionally: college!au
Type: Bulletpoint AU
Word Count: approx. 2.3k 
→ Inspired by NCT U’s 90s Love! 
I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t know shit about hockey so apologizes in advance
Mark is a left-winger for the team
he plays for his university’s team and they’re actually pretty good
within the three-ish years that he’s been on the team, they’ve won a couple of championships
it’s not really hard considering that Mark takes everything too seriously
(at least that’s what Donghyuk says during practice all the time)
Johnny somewhere: “okay Mark”
Yuta: “let’s not overreact Mark”
Taeyong: “leave my son alone”
Mark: “I’m a grown adult…”
Taeyong: “shhh”
since he used to play for his team back in hometown, he naturally joined the university’s team
he was a natural and everyone easily took a liking to him
especially since now they have someone to make fun of constantly
by they, I literally mean just Donghyuk
I’m just kidding—it’s all in good fun because it just shows how close they are
Mark is just that one college kid that’s still cute even when he’s not a freshman anymore
the other team members still treat him like the youngest even though YangYang and Sungchan are like
👁👄👁 hello ?
speaking of which, their teamwork is incredible and it shows through their games
and, on the rare occasions that they don’t win, they still have dinner together afterwards
well, it’s less of dinner and more of drinks and strategizing what went wrong—which are kind of depressing but it’s fine
at least that’s what Sicheng says as captain, but it sounds like denial
anyways, even though Ten is the co-captain, they all work to make their play plan together
they all contribute ideas, especially since they’ve been in the positions they’ve been in for, like, ever
anyways
again, Mark is like really good
so you know he got that bombass scholarship
and that’s what really pushes him to do well bc let’s be real, college is e x p e n s i v e
he also likes ice skating in general because the cold reminds him of home
so he’s one of those hockey players that also likes figures skaters and it’s funny because he gets so many weird looks from the others
(altho, Jeno goes with him sometimes bc he’s nice)
back to what I was saying tho: Mark is really good
despite his personality, he’s a bit more aggressive on the ice—considering he’s a forward
Donghyuk, the right-winger: he makes sense
there’s the passive aggressive-ness
Mark? who knew he had some strength to him when it’s actually applied
seriously, have you seen his thighs?
speaking of which, the team serves a lot of looks
which means a lot of speculators that show up to the games
which means lots of fans
people typically come for the looks, but then stay for the games bc the team is very underrated
they actually win games and everything but like
advertising for the team? nonexistent
@stupid college funding distributions that focus on mediocre sports like football
so, where do you fall into the mix? you’re an og stan
you’ve been in the stands since you entered university
it didn’t even have anything to do with the members (altho, it is nice to have some eye-candy)
you just……… like hockey
even if you don’t understand much about it
it’s just… interesting to watch
so, whenever the season rolls around, you go to the games
but to say over the years that you didn’t develop a particular attachment to our boy Mark…… is an absolute lie
so, do you have a crush on Mark?
yes
but also like
who doesn’t have a crush on Mark
this man is literally so talented and nice and adorable and he just makes you want to take care of him all the time and ugh
one of your friends went to a game with you and literally was just like “oh he’s cute”
You: “we know”
he’s def one of those guys who everyone has or has had a crush on at some point
and you are no different
the thing is that you are fine with not ever confessing because you’re happy with just being on the sidelines because you’ve. literally. just been on the sidelines…
the idea of confessing feels ridiculous bc realistically, what would you mean to some guy that literally e v e r y person has a crush on?
the thing is though is that Mark knows you
at least, he knows of your presence
if he didn’t, it would be embarrassing considering that you come to every game - he’s got loyalty unless some people
Ten: “who?”
Mark: “dude”
Donghyuk: “is this another one of your imaginary friends?”
Mark: “I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE”
jkjk , they all kind of know you, considering you’re one of the more consistent faces since they’ve been playing in these games (primarily the home ones bc free tickets for students but still)
you also don’t paint your face or anything—you just show up in your university sweatshirt with a couple of those foam light up sticks or something
again, not that wild like signs with his face or anything
you’re just…. a spectator
but yeah, Mark knows of you as a loyal fan ?
who also is kind of cute when you’re cheering for them
I want to emphasize that you have gone to, like, nearly every game, but the main ones you’ve *always* have gone to are the home games bc they’re more convenient
or the final games bc hello
they’re the finals, why the fuck would you miss the finals
I emphasize this because, when you’ve suddenly gone down with the flu, you literally cannot make it to the finals championship game
you thought: no one was gonna notice your absence anyways
haha, you thought
anyways
your friends figured you were sick from the beginning and were like, my friend, it’s flu season, stay away from me and pls stay at home
(wash your hands kids, it’s still covid season)
so you didn’t go and stayed in and binged watched iCarly or something
meanwhile, during the game, Mark was like
where... where are you???
so homeboy is highkey distracted and lowkey worried bc did you die???
(you were dying bc of your clogged nostrils, but otherwise, no)
they somehow managed to win by a couple of points so it was kind of fine
but the teasing was increased by all of Mark’s friends
i.e. Johnny, Donghyuk, Jaehyun, and everyone else
come on, it’s so easy to make fun of him
but like he doesn’t care about any of it bc he was worried about you
which got him thinking
why is he worried about someone whose name he doesn’t even know? is there something more? why is there something more? he literally doesn’t know you? except that you come to the games and you’re really cute cheering him on? what is this?
you know, ✨just Mark things✨
this bothered him for quite a bit more than he liked to admit
and it’s about a couple of days later
things are normal and you don’t feel like everything is dripping out of your nose
until you’re walking through campus from your class
and there’s some footsteps running from behind you that makes you coil up into a semi-standing ball bc you thought a bunch of frat boys were just excited or some shit
but then the footsteps stop at you and you’re standing there, wide-eyed
in front of an out of breath Mark
he was walking out of his class with Jaemin and he spotted you from across the quad
and immediately ran to you
Jaemin: I was talking but okay
this isn’t about you Jaemin
anyways
Mark is in front of you, panting and you’re just like sir?
You: “how are you out of breath? aren’t you an athlete?”
Mark: “oh my God, you’re just like Donghyuk”
you give him a bit of time (and some water bc he seemed like he needed it)
and once he’s caught his breath, he stands up and blurts it out
Mark: “what happened to you during the championship?”
You: “....................... what?”
seeing you blink at him confused, he can feel his ears reddening when he’s realized the situation he’s put himself into
Mark: “um, I just”
Mark: “I noticed that you weren’t at the game”
You: still confused bc how does he know about you
You: “huh?”
Mark: oh my God this is the wrong person, want to die
Mark: “you know what, I have the wrong person, I’m just gonna bounce I am so sorry—”
he starts backing up, but you aren’t letting him escape
You: “whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, hold up hold up”
You: “I didn’t even know that you knew that I knew you”
You: “wait, did you run here just to ask me that?”
Mark is full on flushed at this point bc of all the questions and realizations and it’s all crashing down on him all too soon
and now you have this mischievous look in your eyes that remind him of Ten when he’s clowning Doyoung and he feels like he’s made a mistake
a good mistake but still a mistake
You: “is it?”
Mark: “well, you like, show up to all of our games and you didn’t go to the finals so I didn’t know if anything happened”
You: “oh, I got sick and I figured I shouldn’t be going into giant crowds while having my insides die internally”
You: “but, I did hear from my friends, congrats btw”
Mark: “thanks”
Mark: “are you feeling better tho?”
You: “yeah, but like, my throat is still kind of shitty”
Mark: “oh, if you want, I have a couple of friends who might be able to cook something up for your throat”
Mark: “I’d offer to make something, but Kun doesn’t let me in the kitchen anymore after finding out about the egg incident”
You: “the egg incident?”
Mark: “I can’t cook, like. at all.”
You: “I think I’m good, I was just gonna go get some tea to make it less scratchy or something”
Mark: “I can walk you?”
You: “sure”
so you two go to a cafe or something for you to get some warm tea and you two end up talking and you get to know each other a bit
and then you end up trading numbers and you make some time together
since Mark doesn’t have to go to practice until the next season, his time has opened up considerably
sometimes you study together
other times, you go check out some other places nearby campus
(eventually, you did get to try Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Kun’s food, to which there was no turning back at that point bc they make the best kind of food—free)
you’re basically dating at this point and his friends know you as his significant other so
Chenle: “is (Y/N) gonna be here?”
Mark: “no? it’s our movie night”
Donghyuk: “aren’t you dating tho?”
Mark: “what”
he told you he took it casually and cool, but considering how red his ears were getting when he told you………………. cute
Mark: “c-can you believe they thought we were dating?”
You: “is that not what we’re doing?”
Mark: “what?”
you both established your relationship after that and Mark got a lot more shy and it’s super adorable bc it makes you wanna take care of him and ugh
he’s precious okay
also cut to him trying to ask the other guys for advice, but then he gets embarrassed as Johnny and Ten tries to educate him about love
or how Lucas gives him cheesy lines to use on you
these boys are having a field day and Xiaojun and Doyoung have never felt more at peace
anyways
def the nervous type that he can’t even hold your hand and keeps asking if it’s okay
so you’re the top of this relationship bc he’s a shy lil boy
after a bit tho, he gets more comfortable and it’s great
he’ll get teased often right? when it happens in front of you, he just runs to you with a whine of your name and buries his face into your neck
and you end up yelling at someone
it’s cute tho
bc they def see you both as an adorable couple
when the hockey season starts rolling around again, you def spend more time at the practices—whether you’re there to watch, do your homework, or just help motivate him to play better
you started dressing up more too, especially since he gave you his jersey so you started wearing them to the games (and also face paint bc Jungwoo had some extra for an unknown reason)
and you make Mark Lee signs and it’s super cute
Sicheng also invites you to the afterparty dinners bc why not
also, remember that thing I said about watching figure skaters?
you two watch the Olympics for that and it’s like tradition now for you two to settle in front of the tv with snacks and watch them skate
so, since he’s an athlete, he has to be careful with his body bc then like scholarship will go poof
that means some of your dates might be physically limited
like he’ll go mini-golfing with you, but he can’t go to like self-defense classes with you
he’ll go to support you but if his foot gets busted, his coach and the rest of the team will be on his ass and he feels a bit bad about it but like you understand
considering that you absolutely refuse to get on the ice bc hockey is hard people
speaking of hockey, you told Mark he’s hot when he plays and he was FLUSHED
bc like the look in his eyes and the way he carries himself…. reminds you of when you’re doing some more………...steamy activities
anyways, stan Mark Lee
he’s a sweetheart who works so hard and you’re there to provide him with lots of love
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howtosingit · 3 years
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I haven't had a chance to fully dive into all the goodies last nights video has produced.. nor have I had a chance to read all your thoughts which you know I crave love . I was dumb and watched 3 911 episodes last night ignoring my ig notification that ronen had shared anything so then I had to go to bed bc of work and work has been crqzy. But anyways I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts and say Tarlos officially fried my brain and I really want to write in the spare time I don't have bc of work 🙈🙊 their soft smiles, kisses, possibly meeting the fam, their date (and let's be honest Carlos was hot as fuck sauntering up to the bar announcing he was tks boyfriend... you know someone got laid that night) sorry not sorry 🙈
Anyways hit me with your thoughts when you're free if you want ❤
LISTEN, LAUREN. I am always up to share my thoughts because they never end and they just keep coming and I have to unleash them somehow or I will definitely explode.
My brain was just like, ALL CAPS SCREAMING, for about 7 hours yesterday, so I’ll leave you to explore that hot mess on my blog if you want. 😅 But, in the time since, I’ve seen a lot of discourse and stuff about the moments that we’ve seen, so I’m going to use this ask as an opportunity to weigh in on everything under the cut...
FIRST, CAN I JUST SAY that at the moment that I am writing this post, we are still trending at #5 and we’ve been in the 4-7 range for at least the past, like, IDK, 18-20 hours maybe?! I LOVE THIS FANDOM AND HOW WE LOSE OUR SHIT AT THE SMALLEST THINGS
Okay, so let me go through this thing and comment on the parts, and then give some general thoughts below:
LOVE that this is a promo entirely about the LGBTQIA+ characters and characters of color. Not exactly surprised that they still tried to put as much Rob Lowe in it as possible (that’s Fox/the writers’ M.O. it seems - to squeeze Rob/Owen in whether he fits or not). Some of his comments were a little awkward, I thought (referring to Paul’s trans storyline as “stuff” makes me go 😬), but whatever. He’s not the point of all of this, so that’s the last I’m going to talk about him.
TOMMY VEGA. I AM READY TO STAN. I love Gina Torres, I already love how much heart and soul she is giving just in these quick peeks, I cannot wait to see her in action!
Also let me use this moment to say that while it’s obvious I’m not getting my Grace + Carlos friendship (that’s fine if it stays in fandom, I’ll live), I’m SO GLAD that her and Tommy are gonna be friends! One promo mentioned that Judd has known Tommy before, so it would not surprise me if they’ve been friends for awhile. LOVE THAT.
SPECULATION: This gives me a good time to just throw out a theory that I’ve been thinking about... We know Owen and Gwen are hosting Tommy at their place for a backyard dinner. I assume her husband may be there as well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Judd and Grace are there too. 
I ALSO would not be surprised if this is when one of the nights at Carlos’s place happens, like a parallel of the two dinner parties. That at least keeps every main character involved in both locations. We shall see though.
So this gathering at the firehouse seems like it’s going to be a pretty big scene, probably for episode 1. I think everyone’s gathered so that Owen can announce he’s in remission (we’ll hear him tell TK first, which is the hug that they share earlier in the trailer, I think). 
But this gathering also includes a Tommy/Grace moment, a Tarlos moment, the others doing other things kind of moments. It’ll serve the same purpose as a lot of the season 1 bar scenes, and I’m so glad they’ve moved those to the firehouse. I want that place to really start feeling like a home this year. 
(I want all of the locations to feel a little more grounded and special, if I’m being honest. Like, I’m SO GLAD that Carlos’s place is going to be a key location this season.)
There are now two instances of Carlos being next to Gwen (standing next to her while Owen makes an announcement and now sitting next to her at the table), so we better get some dialogue between them or I WILL BE SO UPSET. I WANT GWEN TO STAN CARLOS AS MUCH AS I DO.
EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THIS SCENE OKAY
TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS
Like, WTF is TK’s face in this moment?! He looks so shy and bashful but also so happy and mushy and soft and in love. And then the way that Carlos softens because of how soft TK look?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY AM I CRYING.
Seriously, I have to know what they’re talking about though to make TK fucking melt like that. 
Emergency stuff blah blah blah
TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS
IT’S SO FUCKING CASUAL AND PERFECT AND NATURAL AND LITERALLY JUST LIKE A “I came over to grab this food from you but since I’m here I might as well grab a kiss because I can’t help myself”
AND LIKE... Carlos just leans right into it?!?!?!? like it’s something that they do all the time?!?!?! WTF I LOVE THEM
Mateo watches this kiss and kind of looks like he was talking to Carlos, TK, or both of them, so I love that they’re like in the middle of conversation but still like “wait let me kiss my bf because he’s close by and so hot and I love him” SCREAMING
ALSO LET ME BE THIRSTY BUT CARLOS’S SHOULDERS AND BACK?!?!?! TK’S FUCKING ARMS?!?! I’M SO DAMN GAY
Speaking of arms: this rando bartender at the wrestling match (so Covid doesn’t last long on Lone Star, I’m assuming like 2 episodes maybe?) -- I love that they tried to put him in a tight shirt and make him look like a possible threat or something and I’m just like 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN CARLOS REYES BEFORE
AND THEN THE FUCKING GREEK GOD HIMSELF SAUNTERS UP WEARING A TIGHT FUCKING POLO - CHEST OUT, ARMS JACKED, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HIS DICK AND I’M JUST SCREAMING AT THIS POINT
BOYFRIEND 
BOYFRIEND
BOYFRIEND
But, like, seriously, there is no comparison. Carlos is fucking Hercules over here and this no-name wannabe boyband member could be a sand-colored rock for all I care. 
YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH CARLOS REYES, DON’T EVEN TRY IT
I do feel like these two clips (the calendar line and then Carlos’s line) are spliced together but they might not be back-to-back, and I would love to see how TK responds to the flirting before Carlos comes over
HIS FACE IS KILLING ME THOUGH WHEN CARLOS COMES UP
BLESS RONEN
I feel like I *think* I know what he’s thinking, but I also feel like I don’t. Certainly, the scene seems to end with them both smiling and happy, but I wonder if there will be a conversation about jealousy or something?! IDK BUT THEY’RE DEFINITELY GONNA TALK. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
Someone posted how happy TK is going to be to have a boyfriend who is committed enough to him to be jealous, unlike Alex who didn’t care and cheated on him. I certainly think this could be a great moment for them to establish what this new relationship means for them, and I’m excited to see what they writers have planned.
I JUST LOVE CARLOS REYES THOUGH OKAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
How many times is Fox gonna use that clip of him holding his gun though? We get it, he raises his gun. I’ve seen it like 7 times at this point. 
I’m not complaining, really. I’ll take his face where I can get it.
LOVING the Marjan clips
LOVING the Grace/Judd clips
LOVING the Paul clips
I LOVE ALL OF MY FAVES
CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM DEVELOP THIS YEAR
Hearing Rafa talk about using his voice and speaking for his community just slaughters my heart, I love this man so fucking much and I’m so happy to be discovering him at the start of his career because he is going to go on to do big things and make the world a better place with his positivity and light and love and I’m so excited to follow him on that journey I just love him okay
ALSO THE MAN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ARE THOSE ARMS I WANT TO DIE
THE FARMER’S MARKET SCENE
Are they shopping for food for the dinner party they’re hosting?! Maybe!
WE MEET SOME OF CARLOS’S PEOPLE
There is so much speculation surrounding who these two people could be, and I’ve heard some super interesting theories about Carlos’s backstory.
I’m gonna be basic though and stick with the fact that I think they’re his parents.
AND IF THEY ARE HIS PARENTS, THEY SEEM SO HAPPY TO MEET TK.
His dad/the man, like, shakes TK’s hand with so much gusto, a giant smile on his face
And Carlos smiles as he hugs his mom/the woman, and she’s smiling too
THEY ALL JUST SEEM SO HAPPY
I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AVOIDING THE HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS STORYLINE COMPLETELY
Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TRAUMA
I mean, I don’t know for sure, we’re going to have to wait for the episode. But god, do I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want their trauma, if they have to have it, to be separate from their sexuality. They’ve done so well with TK so far, I want the same for Carlos. Let the story be fresh, let it be different, LET US HAVE DIVERSE GAY STORYLINES.
Y’ALL THE TEAM HANGING OUT AT CARLOS’S PLACE
I CANNOT
I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT
HE’S PART OF THE CREW. HE’S PART OF THE FAMILY.
IT’S EVERYTHING THAT I COULD EVER WANT FOR HIM OKAY
I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY
THEY ARE SO HAPPY
WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY
I’M CRYING
I’M DEAD
LOL that was a lot but so was this promo.
Now, some somewhat sobering thoughts...
We all know season 1 had a real diversity and inclusion problem, we’ve seen the numbers. We also know that during the promotion for season 1, we ALSO got a diversity promo focusing on the LGBTQIA+ characters and the characters of color. I love that Fox wants to highlight the incredibly talented actors and characters that they have, but all of it means nothing if they are still tokens on the show. 
I have full faith that season 2 will be better, that some of the justified anger and frustration made it back to the writers and they internalized it and then make some real changes. However, because we did get a diversity promo last year, I have to remain a little cautious. This promo doesn’t really mean anything and if, somehow, season 2 goes the way season 1 did, it will be another instance of Fox using the characters of color to draw people in without actually giving them screentime and development. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM. So... I’m very excited and very hopeful, but also slightly wary.
Similarly, I’ve seen people say that they’re worried that, while there is so much Tarlos in this promo, this might be all the Tarlos we get this season. I don’t share the same concern, but like the diversity issue, I understand where that comes from. There was a lot of Tarlos in season 1′s promos and, as we now know, they got screentime in episodes 1-3 and then virtually nothing until episode 10. 
I kind of lost track of the filming schedule, but I think before they went on the holiday/extended hiatus, they filmed the first 5-6 episodes? Maybe? And we know that we’re getting 14 total this season, which means it’s possible that they haven’t even filmed half of them. 
I think the footage that we got in this promo is from, like, 3 or 4 episodes max. Definitely episodes 1 and 2, maybe 4, possibly 5. The crossover is episode 3 and I am still expecting to barely see Carlos in it - I just think it’s going to be very fire heavy one, especially with the members of the 118 coming in to steal screentime. He could be in one scene, maybe? Idk, I’m just not expecting a lot from that episode. 
And sure, we could get a lot of Tarlos at the beginning and then nothing for a whole string of episodes, but that also just doesn’t seem possible with the way they’ve restructured the relationship dynamics. Like, it really does seem like Carlos is going to be a part of the family this year, so I think it will be easier to include him and harder to delete him entirely. (Please let him at least appear in every single episode, I don’t want to be so fucking angry like last year.)
Also, if all of these scenes stay in the episodes, we are getting AT LEAST 4 Tarlos conversations - the firehouse, the wrestling match, the farmer’s market, the flirting by the truck - and other scenes of them being in the same space as part of a group. I’m sure there will be even more that we’re just not seeing. I’m very optimistic for this season and for the Tarlos content, and I really don’t think we’ll see the front-loaded imbalance that we saw last season. I think when they get back to filming the later episodes, there will be a good amount of Tarlos content in those, too!
I will say, though, that I am worried we’ve just seen the only kiss that they’ll share in the first 5 or so episodes. I’m just so used to network TV placing a limit on gay kisses, and Idk how much that has really changed in recent years. I truly love this kiss, and I hope there are more, but I would not be surprised if we end the season having only gotten like 2-3. (PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG.)
ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL WE FIND OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I need to vent. I’m SOOOOO fucking pissed the fuck off right now so this is all venting about a personal issue so you don’t need to keep reading i just need to write it out bc i’m so fucking pissed.
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so.
i have this bitch face cousin. she’s a bitch face. let’s call her barbara
no one likes her. like, her father thinks she’s a bitch. her sister thinks she’s a bitch. her brother thinks she’s a bitch.
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she’s a bitch and has been allowed to be a bitch her whole fucking life. she’s a spoiled fucking brat who’s never gone wanting, never had to struggle for a fucking thing in her entire life. 
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her mom ((my aunt//godmother, my father’s sister, the grandmother to be mentioned’s daughter)) passed away two weeks ago. she was in a home for the past few years bc of advanced Alzheimers. she contracted Covid and didn’t make it.
right after that my ((our)) grandmother developed dementia. up until march, we’ve been her primary caretakers. we were finally able to get her a part-time nurse but that’s all the help we got these past six years. it’s all been on us and lemme tell you, i’ve been diagnosed with PTSD ((as have other members of my family)) and caretaker fatigue.
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during all this time, she came to see her once. she called maybe three times. she never tried to help, never offered kind words, it’s always been about her. yet when my father first considered finding a home for my grandmother, she called him to yell about it and said “you can’t do that to my grandmother, you just can’t.” the grandmother that she visited ONE FUCKING TIME in these past SIX YEARS and called maybe THREE TIMES.
Yet she’d post on her instagram the same pics of the ONE time she visited over and over again
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all of us sent barbara condolences after my aunt passed even though she’s been a total bitch all these years. we all spoke to her a few times. all gave our love.
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so we come to yesterday. when barbara asks my dad if she can facetime with our grandmother. who’s finally in a home that we got her into right before all this apocalypse happened and she’s sort of comfortable. as comfortable as possible. she’s not angry all the time and screaming at everyone. and of course, barbara does this now. now she wants to fucking talk to her. 
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kind of understandable since her mom just died but still
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my dad struggled with what to do with that request. on the one hand, he didn’t want to deny her the chance to talk but he also doesn’t want to risk upsetting my grandmother. first of all, she won’t even understand wtf is happening with facetime, it’ll just confuse her. she can barely hear having a face to face conversation and then there’s the off chance that she might recognize barbara or even think she’s my aunt who died since barbara looks remarkably like her
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ultimately, he decides to tell her no. that he doesn’t want to risk upsetting her. that she’s comfortable and that he really thinks it’s for the best. and that he’s sorry about it. my dad couldn’t’ve been more respectful and polite about it if he tried.
and this bitch.
THIS BITCH
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she responds with: well i 100% disagree with that but i guess i have to live with your decision. you should consider yourself lucky you got to grow up with your mom around and see her become a grandmother to your children and i had to lose my mother twice once at 65 and then again 73. and i’m shocked that you didn’t start this text off with ‘i’m sorry about your mother
like...
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that was his sister that died. He lost his sister twice. He’s been watching his mother die day after day after day for the past six years. WE’VE been the one dealing with it ((and seriously, if i try to tell you some of the horror stories that’ve gone on, you’ll legit think i’m making it up, that’s how unbearable and difficult this has been))
She didn’t help.
Not with grandma and not with her own mother. One of the reasons my uncle loves her only bc she’s his daughter and mother of his grandchildren now. 
AND
My dad and mom did speak to her already. Several times. After she’s done nothing to help with my grandmother (or her mother), she has the nerve to speak to him like that. she has the nerve to say anything about the decisions made regarding someone she hasn’t seen in six years???? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????
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i’m sure i’m missing something here that’s crucial to the story for understanding just why i’m so angry but just...i can’t even. i JUST CAN’T EVEN.
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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years
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mtmte liveblog issues 4&5
its delphi time babey
I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo
oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar
anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid
love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 
ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it
i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo
is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo
unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin
i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 
i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much
oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you
ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story
drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,
hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,
PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices
drift epic sword moments
drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him
‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo
ah, so its covid
this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 
so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice
seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool
poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 
that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage
is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be
is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 
first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............
first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 
i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 
tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’
CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND
go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better
seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon
drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao
poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough
also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 
drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword
also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man
ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 
poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around
first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup
ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 
im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!
the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute
and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru
yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm
when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 
also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff
ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?
ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening
drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 
i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav
ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 
ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here
all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business
ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 
and there's first aid with the save! iconic
pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf
ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep
s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)
also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 
ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 
drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh
‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E
also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf
godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 
and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life
also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao
ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 
fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 
tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch
magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad
love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 
not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 
also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 
poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 
I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 
god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 
also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh
‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic
now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions
the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 
also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything
‘sound bomb’ i love this comic
another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining
‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao
also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 
ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild
‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)
SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 
oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 
so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 
i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 
and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 
well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....
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