#living with nts is just. so fucking exhausting

[angelboybreakdowns]

just. ugh. youll say “i am experiencing something that is a literal textbook symptom of the disorder i have” and nts will tell you youre making it up and its obviously not a real thing

#‘being anxious about school isnt a symptom of gad’ oh sure yeah not like its. yknow. LITERALLY LISTED AS A SYMPTOM IN THE DSM-5 #living with nts is just. so fucking exhausting #you mention anything they havent personally experienced and they think its somehow impossible #actually autistic #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #adhd #actually neurodivergent #autism/adhd #actuallyautistic #actually adhd #neurodivergence #generalized anxiety disorder

[hallow-hollow]

yknow i'm starting to understand why high support needs autistics complain so fucking much about low support needs folks

there's no fucking difference between them and NTs when it comes to actually accommodating you. like even the leftie commie poly queer ones. god forbid you have hearing issues or need to know things in advance or have trouble getting the train. if you can't socialise then you should just go fuck yourself, because the social autistics do not give a fuck about you.

#fucking exhausting #when i spend so much time trying to be nice to friends #and be accommodating #andnot let my rage get the better of me #and they can't even be fucking bothered to let me know plans a day in advance #like. y'all are just like NTs. #and like... i'm a low support needs autistic as well #but it still feels like there's a mile of difference between me and all the autistics i know #who seem like they can just. live. normally. have friends and party and have careers and shit #i'm so tired of being excluded from my own fucking community #just because people can't be bothered to actually listen to me #i mean i've always understood the complaints tbf #they're important #but i'm starting to realise how much i relate to them #and also maybe debating a little bit exactly how 'low support needs' i actually am #void.txt

[merlinmyrddin]

It's with great difficulty that I put my pride aside here.

As a transgender man, currently living in the UK, it's hell. The waiting list of the NHS for my region is close to 6 years, my back is fucked due to binding my chest ("don't bind and exercise"... I work hospitality. I don't have a choice), to the point I ended up stuck in bed for 10h in tears due to spasms, unable to get an ambulance cause... the health system is not doing ok. I work in a café/bookshop; the mental exhaustion of having JK Rowling mentioned daily, debating trans rights to validating my existence, my family cutting all ties with me... it's rough mate. But it's life, my life.

I need help. If not to fund my transition going private (as this would average £1500 just to start...!), to at least afford a chiropractor for my back and neck so I can be able to move up to a full-time contract and save money, and for counselling.

Chiropractor is £40 initial cost for the examination, then £35 per treatment, which I'm hoping a course of 3 treatments should put me back on track.

Counselling is £20 a seance via my local volunteering counselling group.

My Pa*Pal

Every little help, even just a reblog would be greatly appreciated.

For people not living in the UK and for more context : many industries are striking right now (as they should. Get a union people!), the NHS is crumbling down, the government is fucked but hey, Harry wrote a book huh. Some people can't afford to put the heating on, people are queuing at the food bank and it's been 3 months that a friend of mine is sleeping on my sofa because the council, housing agents and homelessness emergency helpline are all backed up and virtually useless right now. Two other people I know had to face homelessness within the last month. Everything is ✨️fucked ✨️

I give back to the community the best I can : volunteering at my local LGBTQ+ charity, connecting people by having a coffee/chat monthly event to help reduce the isolation of elderly people, organising exhibitions about the queer history, bookfares... but it's only last week-end, when my back once again was being a pain due to the cold and humidity that I realised that I, myself, also need help, laying there in bed like a grumpy old man being so proud and stubborn it was low-key laughable...

So if you can help, thank you so much. If you can't, thank you for at least reading me ❤️

Fuck the government, fuck politics, strike like there's no tomorrow, fight for your rights, unionise, be loud, be proud, don't be a c*nt and hand in hand, I'll support you, you'll support me, and we'll get there together. Solidarity forever.

#lgtbq #lgbtq+ #lgbt rights #queer rights #trans rights #transgender rights #uk #uk politics #trans man #ftm #fundraising #health #mental health #merlin fandom #signal boost #solidarity #solidarity forever #unionize #unionise #striking #nhs #loud and proud #trans joy #edited

[lunarlegend]

you know, the more i think about it, the more it absolutely fucking infuriates me when NTs use the terms 'hyperfixation' and 'special interest', or confuse the two

as someone who is autistic and has ADHD, i get both, and they are nothing like each other

a hyperfixation is like an obsession to me, often short-lived, and usually lasts a couple weeks to a month. i get them with shows, games, etc., and they tend to rotate. i describe it as "going through phases" with the things i like, and they usually go dormant once i've become burnt out on whatever the thing is.

on the other hand, a special interest is peaceful, and it never goes away. it doesn't change, or "rotate". it's not a phase. and it's not exhausting; it doesn't end in burn out (it never ends at all!)

a special interest is like having an extra sense, that's the best way i can describe it. it becomes a natural scope through which i can view the world, and an essential aspect of how i function as a person. if i can't access it, i feel almost "dulled", like losing your sense of smell when you have a cold.

and unlike a hyperfixation, there is nothing stressful about having a special interest! thinking about it is as natural as breathing, or sleeping. do i know everything about it? yes. but it doesn't feel like i need to put any effort into it in order to achieve that. my brain just does it on its own.

going back to the senses thing, a special interest is essential to me as an autistic person because it's literally how i process everything. i use my special interest to help me deal with grief. i use it to help me pull myself out of depressive episodes. i use it to distract myself from my anxiety. and i use it to bring myself back down to earth when i get too overwhelmed. so, for all the happiness it provides me with, it's also an invaluable tool to help me process my emotions and handle anything difficult that comes up. it's so much more than just an "obsession".

i don't know where i'm really going with this, i guess i just thought about it too much and felt like venting. but if you're not neurodivergent, neither of these terms apply to you. and if you're NT and going to talk about them, make sure you actually know what the hell you're talking about.

#/end rant

[the-girl-with-the-glass-heart]

Shout out to all my fellow ND people who constantly feel burnt out cause all their hyperfixations/special interests keep getting called out for being problematic in some way.

Ofc it's very important to point put problematic media, criticisim is the only way things can improve and it's good for people to know the people they support is problematic, alot of people don't wanna support terfs on accident. Problematic media can also really harm people irl by contributing to stereotypes and funding racist organizations so it's good we are learning about this, you should totally take time to listen and educate yourself.... But also hnnnnggg it gets so fucking exhausting sometimes!

you hyperfixate on one thing and then bam you find out it's got a problematic history and you feel like complete shit for liking it in the first place. It's even worse if your community has been actively hurt by the people behind the hyperfixation, like if you're trans and love harry potter or jewish and love disney.

There's no solution, we can't just not talk about this stuff, it's just super fucking exhausting to deal with and really sucks tbh. It certainly does not help that ND people often aren't on the same wavelength as NT's so then they get onto us for not immediately understanding their long af callout post filled with words that once meant something important but now have been reduced to mushy paste.

I think the best thing we can do is just remember that you're not a bad person for growing attached to this media, especially if it's something from your childhood you just now realized was problematic. Special interests and hyperfixations are a necessity for us, alot of the time it's the thing that reminds us to keep living, as long you know it's wrong and you are trying your best you are okay.

You also don't have to listen to NT people trying to shame you into giving up your hyperfixation, especially if they aren't the minority being affected and you are. You do what you can when you can.

With all that being said though, there are still ways around supporting problematic creators that you shpukd try, ad blocker, piracy, buying merchandise from independent creators. All of it would be really helpful. I still understand thought if you are unable to do these things, not everyone will be able to.

It's just like with plastic straws versus paper straws, you know plastic harms the environment but you can't help it if the paper straw gives you sensory issues so you can't use them. Your hyperfixations are a necessity to keep you comfortable.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #adhd #autism

[meowmeowmessi]

did you see AlbicelesteTalk's post about di maria's interview 😭😭? they're getting so mad about it and FOR WHAT?? that's exactly what happened and that's exactly how it is with Messi lol. and now there's a mistranslation going around pretending di maria actually said, "the best player was no argentinian" and they're running with it when he actually said, "the best non-argentinian player". aa it's so exhausting on twt tbh, like if your fave really is that great why are you getting so worked up lol? some mf tweeted "argentinians when the whole planet doesn't worship messi like a god" and it was that breaking bad falling down gif and like??? where's the correlation lol, more like kyky stans when people think someone's better, be serious now.

anon it was the first thing i saw when i logged on twt this morning my entire tl was in shambles over the many translations and mistranslations 😭😭 the qrts of the original post are filled with kyky girlies losing their minds and saying how mbappe lives rent free in the argentine players' heads which is ??????? not only is this hilarious bc it's the baguette lovers who haven't been able to let the wc loss go but also saying this about DI MARIA?? THE ONE WHO WAS TERRORIZING THE FRENCH NT ON THE PITCH FOR FUN? THE ONE WHO EVERYONE UNANIMOUSLY AGREES SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SUBBED OFF SO EARLY BC HE WAS TAKING THE WHOLE FRENCH TEAM OUT ON A SPIN? this is just embarrassing behavior 😭 if di maria had played for the entirety of the 90 minutes argentina would've bodied france 4-0 😭

honestly it's the way i knew the minute i saw the second mistranslation that it was untrue bc ain't no WAY di maria would say that the best player in the wc was not argentine when lionel andrés messi was right fucking there having the best wc campaign in the history of wc campaigns (also bc he's argentine himself and being in love with messi is mandatory for them so there's that, too). you can really tell the ones who are getting offended are footy casuals or just here to twerk for the french nt and their golden boy lmao. di maria's left foot is greater than their entire country they need to get over it

#mbappe may surpass cr kelly but he's never beating messi this is just facts #'mbappe won the wc at 18 and messi won it before retirement' messi had won EVERYTHING but the wc before the wc what has mbappe won #and he did it with a team brimming with talent while messi carried his nt MULTIPLE TIMES #genuinely can't take these ppl seriously on god #i do regret that arg didn't get to beat france 4-0 like god HAD intended bc then they'd have been too embarrassed to even chat shit #or maybe not bc europeans are shameless #asks

[idontreallywanadotheworktoday]

I posted 323 times in 2022

That's 173 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (18%)

266 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sardonic-the-writer

@its-ticsticstics

@idontreallywanadotheworktoday

@famouslysleepy

@meloncalic

I tagged 126 of my posts in 2022

#crompson's real life - 35 posts

#markiplier - 18 posts

#wilford warfstache - 13 posts

#iswm - 12 posts

#crompsons real life - 12 posts

#camp olympia - 9 posts

#clp - 9 posts

#in space with markiplier - 7 posts

#darkiplier - 7 posts

#markiplier egos - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 85 characters

#i showed one to my mom and now when i mess up speaking she calls it a skrittle moment

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok you know what I don't get? How NT people look at people with tics like we're either A. Free entertainment, B. The fucking scum of the earth, or C. Some weird mix of the 2. Earlier this year, when my tics were getting worse, I was told "can you just shut up?" Like I wish I could, I started crying in the school bathroom over it (tmi?) But literally in the last couple of weeks all of a sudden I was entertaining and they would PURPOSELY TRIGGER MY TICS (the ones they know) and I almost had a tic attack because of them. Like I wish I could let them live with tics for a day, see how exhausting and frustrating it is...

23 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#4

I made a little headcanons oh some of the Markiplier Egos (and Anti) about what kind of dog they are. Hope y'all like it

Mark: Beagle- Beagle's are very friendly and sociable, and seeing as Mark was just talking about being an intern and collarbone more would line up with the Beagle's innate nature and personality. They would probably have a Black Tan and Bluetick coloration.

Darkiplier: Belgian Malinois (I actually have one of these)- Malinois aren't the most sociable, I feel like this shows how Dark doesn't always play nice with the other Ego's. Malinois are often confused with German Shepherds. I feel like because people do sometimes treat Anti and Dark as similar characters, they would be Malinois and Shepherd, respectfully. Dark would maybe be a Grey Sable coloration.

Antisepticeye: German Shepherd- German shepherds are like Malinois (see above) however, they are more sociable than the Malinois. Again, because Malinois and Shepherd's are often confused with each other, I made Dark and Anti those breeds.

Wilford: Siberian Husky- I mainly chose this for the vocalism of them, seeing how Wilford does have a very unique way of talking, along with the fact that he seems like he needs a purpose, and without it, he tends to destroy things to keep himself busy, like Huskies do. He would be the standard Agouti and White coloration.

Engineer: Golden Retriever- Golden Retrievers are VERY Sociable. Very good with strangers and friends alike. This is a trait Engineer has, I mean, look at most of their interactions. They love the Crew and Captain, like how Golden's Love their owners. Not to mention Golden's look and act sweet but they can have a mean streak as well. And both of them are down for pretty much anything. He would be a basic Golden coloration

Yancy: Great Dane (I also have one of these)- A lot of people that don't own Great Danes often think that because of their size, they are dangerous. Maybe this is just me, but I totally thought Yancy was going to kill me after the musical number. But, Like Great Danes, he's kind of just a big sweetheart. He gives very Fawn with Black Mask Coloration energy

Actor: Rough Haired Collie- Collies are very Show off dogs, more rough than Smooth haired ones. Rough Haired Collies have longer hair and are the ones you see more often. I mean, look at Actor, he is also very show-offish. They are moderately sociable, and so is Actor, Look at how he treats other people on set as opposed to his friends in WKM. He'd be a Sable coloration.

Illinois: Australian Shepherd- very outgoing and work oriented, calm under pressure, and is very intelligent, much like Illinois is. They are very playful, while still being able to get jobs done, and they are pretty adaptable. He would be a Blue Merle coloration.

Google: Akita- Akita's DO NOT like interacting with strangers, people or dogs. They're very independent, much like Google is, but they will listen to their owners at any given time (Google IRL anyone?) They often need a job, just Like Google does when he's not plotting the downfall of Mankind. He would be a Silver, Black Overlay as his coloration.

45 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#3

??????

90 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

I meant to post this a while ago and glad I didn't because of the AF:CB thing, but here

375 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

2,009 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[achitachi]

covid saga continued?

symptoms are now like a regular cold. occasional coughing fits. not a lot of snot. tg. but still snot. i'm mostly just fucking exhausted all the time. i spent most of today asleep. dreams be weird. part of one recent dream the muppets were living in both an abandoned bank and resturant. yeah...<_<

i would like to have energy. more than just taking care of the very basic needs. hell, i'm sleepy doing this.

i've been trying to tackle the usual shopping with online orders and giving D lists. so far so good.

we also currently have a slight ant problem. i want to do an over haul cleaning...but, again no energy. D has been attacking the problem. and the community bug guy is scheduled to come spray next week.

my youngest is funny. it's like mommy is sick, don't come near me. has the portable videogame console and curls up next to me in bed.

the oldest is having a tough time at summer camp. it's suppose to be fun for them. but it seems it's a bit more challenging. and it's hard to explain that yes our child is ND to the one "NT" parent. D is trying to understand and we're both working on getting oldest the help they need. mostly oldest has been having transition issues, listening to "authority" and not understanding why the game can't be "calvin ball" instead. they seem both overstimulated and bored. not a good mix.

i wish oldest was old enough for computer camp. their favorite thing is to either be playing minecraft or watching minecraft videos.

also, wish i wasn't sick so i could set up playdates for the youngest. i have budding mom friendships i'm trying to blossom, but having covid has put a pin in that. blergh.

stil can't believe i got covid. i mean, geez. you hear it's every where, but you're careful and take precautions, and STILL get it. i mean, my bestie's bf who lives in the middle of NOWHERE and doesn't leave their house got it awhile back. so yeah. seriously, be careful. wear your mask. wash your hands. hope for the best.

[bandofchimeras]

Re: autism, trauma and emotional labor of survival

I've beaten myself into a hollowed out anxious wreck trying to maintain a facade of being decent and likable and cool and what tbe fuck ever it would take for people to keep talking to me, include me in things. Mostly bc i live on the edge of poverty acutely aware of possibly needing to survive or get medical expenses paid via fundraiser. Maintaining lots of points of contact feels vital.

Itdoesn't work, and in fact backfired in then doing vulnerability oversharing honesty whiplash like hey actually, I am a MESS please don't leave me or Now I Really Need Help and like....

that's toxic, and its exhausting and I'm fucking sick of it. But I have to point this out:

when you're traumatized & autistic, "just be yourself" DOES NOT WORK THE WAY YOU FUCKING THINK IT DOES. you can NOT be yourself at work all the time, especially if you want to advance. You HAVE to control your moods, your tone, your sensory experiences, or advocate for yourself in advance. in many places publicly it is dangerous to stim or frolic or even to zone out, much less to meltdown. you don't just get to relax without experiencing a lot of literal uncalled for hate. you will be disliked and people will constantly find problems with you even if you mask. On the internet, you will offend or upset or confuse people.

Its literally inescapable.

So stop pretending socializing can be easy for everyone if they just relax. That's so silly.

When you're autistic and traumatized,, you have to find your people. who understand, accommodate, and love you, who can be honest when you make mistakes without roasting you over the spit. y

To heal, you have to create a really nice and safe space in your own home to decompress and YOU and the other people in your family, chosen or otherwise, determine what that means. Not any arbitrary social rules about Good Behavior. You have to find a big support system.

And not everyone can or does. Not everyone gets there. Especially physically disabled autistic people. Especially trans autistic people.

There's a lot of abuse, codependency, getting stuck, falling in with the wrong crowd, while you try to figure out survival.

And while I don't mean to paint a bleak picture and its very very possible to create a beautiful loving life while disabled, autistic, traumatized....I wish someone had been real with me early on about the risks, and popped some of my idealistic bubbles. Given me a good schooling on red flags, on navigating welfare, on social rules and what to expect from people.

It doesn't just get better.

You have to fight to make it better and even then sometimes...it just is what it is. You're not immune from getting kicked down the drain pipe. Life's like that and yeah. It sucks.

Thats the whole reason WHY being kind is important but being kind all the time will also not always help you survive. Your soul needs protection too. And so....

Its okay to mask. Its okay to study NT society and get along. Its okay to live under a lot of pressure so you can keep yourself or loved ones afloat. Its okay to reconcile with the parasitic selves constructed by your pain. Its okay if you never fully heal because life doesn't stop beating you down. Its okay not to be where you thought you would be or have to make choices you don't want to make to survive. You don't have to be relaxed and full of pleasure and wonderful experiences even if you deserve them, you just have to keep going and carve out time and space for them when you can.

And I'm rooting for all of us to make it out of survival mode and find the goodness that can lift one another up. But it is hard. And for some of us, those very vital social relationships that enable survival are the hardest things to find and maintain while being ourselves.

Some days positivity and hope are nice. But tonight I need to be real. And its okay. It really is okay. If you're alive, fed, and relatively safe....you're doing wonderful. And there is always another chance to connect, or get to somewhere better. But its okay to just be where you are now, too. Even if its alone or in a life you never would have wanted.

Don't give up just because its harder than you expected.

Its not your fault.

#recovery #actually autistic #autism acceptence month #disability #texty #personal #Long post

[katyalume]

I hope this isn't weird but I read your rant and I hope that teacher breaks all his fingers. Being around NTs (nuerotypicals) is so exhausting when you start unmasking, they think they're the center of everything and that if you don't live how they do then you should just not exist. It's incredibly hard to just live though that and say fuck 'em when you don't have support and it's incredibly difficult to make friends while unmasking (especially as an adult, imo).

I'm also autistic with ADHD and going through similar stuff but I'm horrible at talking to people because I don't have social skills, so it felt weird to DM but if you don't mind and want an internet friend that understands the BS that NTs put us through, I will DM you (if not, feel free to ignore, of course)

hey! I only saw your message a couple of days ago and I've been battling to finally answer, I'm sorry for making you wait but I was very nervous to answer, and my social skills also suck lmao

but sure, I would love for you to DM me really <3

[wuppydog]

really really annoys me when NT ppl get offended when I tell them I need alone time. (life rant ⬇️)

like I have agoraphobia and autism, I hate being around people. I'm married to the one person I can actually tolerate for a few days of 24/7 contact and then he works most of the day during the week & I'm off doing my own thing, so I'm alone for like 12hrs a day every day expert the weekend.

*this* weekend we paid for cleaners/organizers come over & fix the house (it was hoarder level disastrous). there were three ladies & the lead lady was kind of rude.

so from 9AM to 6PM they were all over our house & telling us what to do, a shit ton of physical labor while I'm disabled & I've been adjusting to new medications on top of it all so I'm feeling sick to my stomach.

they finally left today around 5:30, & when I asked husband to get something out of my bag & wallet WE COULDN'T FIND IT. it took us 45 minutes of freak-out high intensity stressed tf out to finally find it buried under a bunch of shit. & *them* I could finally relax.

except my body aches, my stomach is upset, my head is killing me, I'm exhausted.... so then I'm overtstimulated & every noise & touch even if it's barely there feels like fire in my brain. husband kept making jokes of hand at random shit (which is his usual, I don't have a problem with it 99% of the time) & istg I just wanted to punch him.

so like, the point of this is, I decided to come lay down in bed in the dark until my meds kick in & I can go to sleep around 9PM, & husband pouts "already? :(" so I'm in bed & husband is just lagging & taking his sweet time & when I say goodnight to get him out the door he COMES BACK and asks for a kiss to which I joke back "ur gonna make me get up?" & THAT'S when he started to be offended. he gives me this upset look that he does sometimes so I tell him "dude I'm stressed out in sick I'm tired..." & he says he didn't know, so I explained that there were too many people (STRANGERS!) in our house for TOO long & jokes that I needed to be alone in the quiet for 10 years.

& the jerk shuffles out to the living room as he scoffs an okay at me. like!!!! I had a lot of trauma be triggered today, dude! trauma that you know about! I'm sorry your life wasn't miserable growing up but mine was & having ppl clean for me is a trigger! you don't have mental illnesses you're completely normal! I AM NOT. I'm fucking exhausted & istg if you complain again imma bop you one!

he's fine I'm fine it's fine i just hate days like these where I don't want to be around anyone but..... we live together so like, where is he gonna go lol

#thx if you read all that nonsense #being mental ill & married to the least mentally ill & most NY man in the world is stressful in and of itself sometimes! #whining #husband #💜

[qmii]

Rant// TW: unalive mentions, autism discourse, potentially upsetting for early diagnosis autistics (I love you all but some individuals on here need a reality check and I cant sleep until I say what's on my mind).

EDIT TO clear out misunderstandings; this is not a my autism is worse than yours post, I actually believe I do have it easier than alot of autistics personally, but this post was specifically posted after seeing high note posts on a few autistic tags belittling late diagnosis/self diagnosis struggles.

so if u read nothing read this: I WANT ALL AUTISTICS TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCE. SAYING MASKING IS HARD DOESN'T INVALIDATE NON MASKERS. SAYING NOT BEING ABLE TO MASK IS HARD DOES NOT INVALIDATE MASKERS. NOT A COMPETITION.

//

Coming on here after a month long burnout that won't fuck off to find comfort in autistic tags just to find people shitting on late diagnosis autistics is really something.

It's so fucking exhausting, the neurotypicals already expect us to always be just like them, now non masking autistics invalidate us because we're not just like them.

Having gone through special ed classes does NOT make your childhood any worse than mine, you do not know what I felt back then, you don't know what its like to be 8 and to feel like like something is horribly wrong with you and you must hide it, to overanalyze every single interaction, look, voice tone, the way you dress, your weight, your hair your hobbies your fucking walk every second of every day for 20 years.

You do not know what it's like to have hours long shutdowns every weekend when you're 13 and NEVER knowing why, you don't get what it's like to feel the need to mask even when completely alone because you dont even know what masking is and that internalized NT voice is with you at all times.

You don't understand what it's like to have stupidly unrealistic expectations on you to be Normal and more often than not Perfect. To have literally 0 accommodations, to be taken advantage of, to be called "quirky" and "weird" by nts and then invalidated by autistics like you .

You don't understand the deep rooted self hate that a child must feel to literally fake their entire existence for decades.

You dont get the self hate that lingers even after you learn you're autistic and decide to unmask, because nt approval is all you ever relied on.

You don't know what it's like to want to end it all at 8 because the burden of hiding the thing you know is *wrong* with you is too much, spending years trying to find out what it is, getting told you are just edgy, quirky, dramatic, a liar, looking for attention, getting diagnosed with bpd, social anxiety, bipolar, being denied an autism diagnosis because you are female, NOT HAVIG MONEY TO GET A DIAGNOSIS, LIVING IN A COUNTRY WHERE AUTISM IS STILL REFERRED TO WITH SLURS.

You dont understand my experience, and I don't yours.

Hating the autistic experience does not make you special, we all went through hell in this NT world, and if I want to joke about it and hype it up for no reason, I can, thank you and bye

#actually autistic #this is by no means an attack on all early diagonised autistics #i just saw a few posts trying to treat this entire thing as a competition and i will not let it slide #not for now anyway #might delete this later if I decide it's too salty #neurodivergent #late diagnosis #autism #masking #autistic #autistic adult

[ipictureitsoftandiache]

ahaha i’m really gonna be stuck with this back pain from my car accident for the rest of my life huh

#like not to be melodramatic but the thought of just....being in pain for the rest of my life.....makes me want to k*ll myself #like im just so tired lmao it just hurts so bad and it never gets any better #and i dont think it ever will #and like.....how am i supposed to live like this for the rest of my fucking life? #i dont even know if ill be able to go back to school at all bc theres no way i can carry a backpack #my body was just like ruined because some kid ran a light #im constantly in pain because of that kid #and thats just the most miserable fucking thing to come to terms with #my body will never be the same bc he ruined it #every time i pop open the bottle of ibuprofen i see his fucking face #and its just.....exhausting #i dont want to see him anymore #i dont want to hurt anymore #aight im done feeling sorry for myself #im just having a bad day im ok im not gonna hurt myself or anything #just venting on social media because thats what we youths do these days! #mine.txt #d🅾️nt rebl🅾️g #tagged tangent #trauma diaries

[shoezuki]

okay but about that thing on people just switching their sides up. I actually have a whole critical thing of the fandom that I'll never write post in my head that like.... I think comes up with an explanation on it. but I wouldn't be posted cuz it would be super critical of Twitter as a whole and i don't wanna die lol.

but also I was talking about this in zablrs rant-chat a few hours ago, and like. I think part of it is that people are very much emotion first. and with Twitter, tumblr, and twitch chat being the way they are with live tweeting/blogging/chatting what have you, you get all these emotional reactions first. which. fair. thats how people react, ya know? in a sense, that's what you're supposed to do/how you're supposed to feel.

the real problem, imo, is the people who get their ideas/views second hand from these platforms. like, esp with Twitter since the way trending works it really, really can push out bias and misinformation really fast. so the non-viewer is seeing this influx in "oh this character bad now" or "this character redeemed now!" and instead of looking for it themselves they fall into the mob mentality and go with it.

that means later, when the stream is done, people who reacted emotionally at first and now have time/distance enough to think logically don't. because now they're the ones falling into the mob mentality. I mean, even people who haven't watched the current stream agree, so maybe it has more basis than just the one stream!

so people then get the idea that those emotional responses are logical and so when someone comes in with a different perspective, they think "now hold on a second" and they argue against it. because, logically, they're in the right, so obviously you're wrong!

(don't even get me started on that. there is no concrete right and wrong, only what is, what isn't, and what should be and should not be done. but thats a whole other post)

and then people, because theyre arguing instead of having proper discourse, the literary definition which is literally just another word for discussion NOT argument, people are getting emotional again. and it's been proven time and time and time again that when you're responding based on emotion you're less likely to respond well to someone who's trying to tell you something else because it feels like you're invalidating their feelings.

(and boy, oh boy, don't get me started on how much this has created a divide between NT and ND viewers of the smp. because it feels, to me, that when a NT is feeling emotional and a ND is trying to speak to them with logic, they're being told they're heartless or something which is just hhhhh)

so we never get anywhere in the fandom. we're stuck in the same emotion-mob mentality-logic-mob mentality cycle and it's honestly just exhausting at this point.

tiny you’ve hit it right on the head. like. youre so fucking right here.

i talked a how twitter is Built in a way that sucks before Kinda like this n it REALLY plays a part in like. mcyt fans over there n information n ppls reactions to things. like. it REALLY shows in there n usually when im arguing that ppl are so Quick to React to things its over There moreso than here like. ofc Everywhere but anyways like, 

emotions are FIRST. its what ppl immediately feel in response to stimulus. like its a Whole Thing. how ppl can get angry and lash out then later will be like thinking it over and digest it better. and a LOT of dsmp stuff esp w tommy’s character appeals to emotions. like when we see ppl liveblogging its never dissecting or commentary on the flow and function of plot. its Always gut reactions

n like you said on social media it lasts SO LONG. the trending page on twitter is always fueled by in the moment thoughts and responses. things like ‘HE DIED’ and ‘SAM NOOK’ will get trending because ppl r livebloggin n freakin out about it. but it just drags all of it out too and creates like a domino affect.

idk how to say it without sounding like a dick either tbh but a lot of people will cling onto emotions and gut instant reactions, and will React and Speak according to that without thinking logically on analyzing things. so they’ll jump on ‘sam is a horrible person’ which sets off Other people and gets Others emotional and it spreads from that. mob mentality at its finest is how ppl will act in a Group and have the Same actions/thoughts largely because of emotional responses and Yeah It Do Be Here. 

n ppl jus will cling onto it so hard???? even when what others say is more rational and has logical backing its like. will just Stand Firm and can react badly and interpret criticism/analysis as Hatred and its WEIRD. 

like you mention the NT and ND aspect. and youre right like. not to lean on myself so heavy but i dont liveblog much or react In the Moment because im. like. not emotional. a part of my autism is i sometimes just Dont feel things or its not so Strong or i dont Get others emotional responses. easiest for me to feel is anger skjgfskg. 

n especially w philza n techno how ppl r so Reactive n Emotional about them in terms a them being ‘bad’ like. a lot a ppl i see defendin em and makin Hot Takes (comrades) r ND. 

#but absolutely i feel ppl r Very emotional n it doesnt feel right to say 'too much' but #yeah.yeah.hyeah #hard boiled takes #tiny #tinydemondragon

[whoviandoodler]

Okay but I don't think we talk enough (that I've seen) about how TIRING noise is to ND people, and in this case I'm specifically talking about the school setting. There are people everywhere, chatting, shouting, screaming, giggling, especially in hallways or when the teacher isn't in the classroom.

Our brain finds that noise not only physically, but psychologically painful, and since often we feel the need to appear 'normal' in school, we have to shut down the need to have a meltdown over, and over, and over again, for HOURS. That shit is EXHAUSTING.

So it's no wonder that when we come home we seek quiet time away from people, and are often waaaay to tired to even touch a textbook. It's no wonder we do homework in school right before class in a frenzy because we have no energy to do it without pushing ourselves beyond our limits.

I cannot stress enough how harmful school is to ND people. It more often than not completely takes away the energy to do something meaningful with our abilities and to make art or just have fun because we're tired, and we have to quite literally survive rather than live.

So fuck anyone, family member or 'friend', who tells you should be more social, talk with them more or do more. We already push past what, if NTs could experience the world the way we do, would break them. We live with that fatigue and sometimes literal despair because we can't commit to our special interests or do something that's fun, but instead have to deal with the noisy, shitty world that makes us talk and make eye contact and play 'normal' and drains us.

#adhd #add things #adhd life #adhd problems #asd #living with asd #asd problems #living with adgd #autism #actually autistic