#maybe im being too hard on myself

[daftpatience]

guys if i did acrylic standees in shape of a pen holder/pen rest would it be cooler to do original art or like. fanart of something (i dont have a poll to poll so tell me if u wanna tell me and if u have a suggestion of a media)

#personally im thinking something nice and timeless like mushi-shi #or ghibli but idk it feels kinda sellouty to do ghibli fanart idk #maybe im being too hard on myself #im also thinking wouldnt it be easier to do these as ceramics instead of acrylics #but im so set on making unique and interesting acrylic standees grr #if its acrylic it has to be pretty enough to work as a standalone piece of decor #but i want to be sure it still reads like a tool as well #if its just a pretty standee that you CAN put a pen on top of or in. it doenst feel the same as something cleverly designed to fit one yknow

[acidsaladd]

i am so shit at character design holy hell can someone manifest me some skills pls

#crying #this au that im thinking of relies on character design #and im Ass at it #i suffer #maybe im being too hard on myself #nah #blabbering

[animalinvestigator]

happy 8 years

i will transform so i don't die

#my art #undertale #chara dreemurr #am a bit bereft of things to say lol sorry. usually this is where i have a whole diatribe to go off on #i didn't feel like celebrating very much this year so the artwork i made isnt very celebratory #but it was always the sad and futile parts of the story that made me feel the most when i was a kid . so #it's maybe truer to the spirit of my love for this game than any of the cutesy celebration drawings ive done over the years #um . as it was and still is. my heart lives where this story is #if i hadn't played it when i was a kid i don't know if i would have made it this far. im actually almost certain i wouldnt have #sometimes its hard to be thankful for that but i make myself be thankful lol. #so dramatic rofl. well it's just what i was thinking #thanks for being here everyone. i kind of like how this drawing turned out and i hope you will too

[medi-bee]

isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags

#my art #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #pokemon #siffrin #mirabelle #isabeau #odile #bonnie #i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them #im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that #siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow #i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them #veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif #mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope #i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle #when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin #isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice #my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded #if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic #ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :) #never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life #loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about #i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal #the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself #eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai #don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character #wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up #uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later

[lovelyheartclover]

My lesbian ass FINALLY drew Vuzi and Juzi (as madohomu/Madoka x Homura) 💜💛 I hope the Vuzi/Juzi cult accepts me smh 😔😔/J

References I used:

Tagging 💌: @m0n1q @ringo-ro @absolute-solver @spinnydraws @notkoshka @zombytommy @lilywily143 @uzibrainrot @mozzyspurt @idunaflo @electronix-arts @bigpinkbaguette @jazzyblusnowflake

#🎨 Clover's art 🎨 #I drew both of these last night and im kinda proud of how they came out??? #like...especially the Juzi drawing im kinda ehhh?? about #theres so many errors and mistakes I made when doing the lineart on these two drawings that it honestly bothers me alot 💔💔💔 #I love the concept of the drawings but I dont really like how I executed them....🙃🙃 #idk what do you guys think? #reminder that im a beginner artist so please...please be nice 😭😭 #I notice and see the mistakes and errors already 😭💔 #idk maybe im being too hard on myself?? #whatever im still glad I finally drew the lesbians 😁😁😁😁✨✨ #vuzi #juzi #madohomu #madoka x homura #murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation v #serial designation j #lesbian #sapphic #bisexual #artist on tumblr #tumblr artists #traditional art #jesus christ this has alot of tags !!!!

[puppyeared]

people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime

#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head #around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working #as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of #how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol #i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were #pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family #i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by #ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me #or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made #you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm #im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help #wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career #i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades #but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard #yapping

[bunnykitty13]

long art ramble srry lol

but im so fucking glad all that work i put into recovering from skill regression last year is starting to pay off. i constantly worry that i can never produce the same level of quality i used to before hitting rock bottom health wise. but even comparing my art from a few months ago to now is showing progress. biggest sigh of relief ever

#ill forever be grateful that not one person was cruel to me when my art started to show signs of downgrading. maybe cuz it was obvious #something deeper was going on or at least i have successfully surrounded myself with kind people. either way im truly fortunate #maybe im being too hard on my work from 2021-2023 but really more than anything im glad i was able to start climbing uphill again #cant say itll never happen again but for now its enough for me to start having fun drawing again. its been so long i had #forgotten what i loved about drawing in the first place

[caffeinatedopossum]

Do they make... like... hearing aids for people who's hearing is *too* good so they can "turn down" the sounds or is that impossible or just too niche of a problem? Asking for a friend

#(the friend is me) (normal sounds are so loud to me that they hurt my ears) #i use a noise canceling headset but even with it on i can hear almost everything #it just protects my ears from a lot of the reverberation that causes physical pain #it also makes it hard for me to talk even though i can hear everyone around me #because i cant tell how loud im talking and will end up talking at my 'normal' volume (aka the volume at which i can hear myself) #and others will say im too quiet to hear #and i used to think 'ok but my hearing cant be that good. maybe i just have ear pain from allergies or something' #BUT tbe thing is im constantly having problems with things being too loud #i will try to turn the volume down on my computer or a video game only to find out that the volume is already as low as it goes #and anytime someone tries to show me something and put their headset on me or something i yelp because its so loud it hurts #yeah i dont often accept the offer to put other peoples headsets on anymore

[electric-friend]

i’ve got so many unfinished fics in my drive and maybe even one published one where someone calls stede strong and brave for maintaining his softness even when life pushes back.

recently i feel like stede made a choice ed and izzy have both made in the past that they’ve always wished they never did, and stede could have been spared from. at the very least i think it hurt ed to see the version of himself he hates in stede. he probably thinks stede wanted to become that man for reasons other than stede has been bullied his entire life for being inadequate and told a man a bit like blackbeard is a real man.

call me crazy or whatever but i actually think a major thing that should be communicated between ed and stede is something on stede’s end. his trauma and his feelings and his issues. as it stands now, i don’t think ed understands what’s going on with stede. i don’t think he understands the person stede really wants to be. i don’t think he understands stede’s own issues of self-doubt and stede’s insecurities. hell i don’t think ed even has that much of a grasp of how unpopular and disliked stede has always been his entire life. and i think maybe if stede explained himself better, ed would understand more of what was going on. that he wouldn’t be seeing stede as manifesting something he wants to escape from, he would see stede as someone he needs to help escape with him.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #a hint of #steddyhands #but i’m not really going into it #idk if this makes much sense #it’s not super well laid out it’s just a chaotic bunch of prose im expressing myself through #obviously i feel like ed should maybe communicate more of his feelings to stede too #but i feel like everyone is focusing really hard on stede being a dick and needing to apologise #when what really needs to happen (though i doubt it will on screen) is they both need to articulate their feelings #so that they understand each other and stop getting caught up mis communicating #also listen. i don’t think stede did a good thing in that argument #but i do fundamentally believe that ed saying it was a mistake. no matter how much stede might also think that was true #probably genuinely seriously triggered stede and upset him a lot #they were both really hurt in that conversation #but i think that there’s this thing going on where stede has become a man that reminds ed of a part of himself he associates- #-with the version of himself he hates #and in a way that’s happening the other way around too #ed is soft. quiet. gentle. the crew doesn’t respect him #stede sees a version of himself he feels insecure about when he looks at ed now #and it’s fucking with them. #majorly. #i hope they talk but i know there’s not enough time in the show for them to talk the way i want them to

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow. #it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me. #part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

[machinerot]

ive gotta figure out how to make harry look narstier while still staying true to my style. so ig this is an official disclaimer that if my depictions of him end up changing with every new drawing um. ignore it 🫶

#i gotta get my bearings #there are just so many different canon portraits of harry in game (plus his actual 3d model too) #that its really hard for me to get a clear image of him in my mind for my drawings #like the little pfp in the bottom left of the screen looks so different compared to his model and even more so to his face in the mirror #not to mention the little official loading screens of him too #all of it ends up creating too much varied material to scrap from. ive gotta figure out how to mentally mash them all together #im so grateful for kim dude. hes way more consistent. thank you kim for always being such a blessing to draw #i feel like ive been relying too much on my mental image/memory of harry from playing the game from birds eye view #and i need him to be a little bit....well. crustier. grimy. #much to think about... #there is a perfect balance to be achieved here i just need to figure it out. maybe i should make a sketch page of just Harry Studies #god the way this games taken over my life #i just went through my 3rd playthrough #free me from this limbo (dont im enjoying myself immensely)

[needylittlegirl]

MAN i almost made it through a whole sunday without crying!!!

#my friend was texting me about stuff on her to do list #and she was like ‘man we’re only four months into the year and ive changed and grown so mich already’ #and i know its stupid and silly #but that just immediately cracked open my fear of like being stuck #and it sucks cause ive been having a hard time talking to her because shes just suddenly light years ahead #i know its selfish too #im just tired of always being the friend thats just. Behind in so many ways #i want to grow and change too!! and ive been trying so hard!!! but nothings happened #tbd #i know everyone goes at their own pace but im tired of mine being so slow #ever since i was little ive seen everyone run ahead while i just get stuck in place and i hate it #im just scared that no matter who i have in my life theyre always gonna out grow me #theyre gonna outgrow me and change so much and ill be exactly the same #im so scared that im just never going to be happy and like myself and my life #idk maybe its the fever talking #i can never trust how i feel on sundays

[spaghett-onaplate]

a celebratory post: i have just experienced the most fruitful writing 24 hours of my entire life. at 3:30am last night, i started a new fic, wrote maybe 3k in the hours before I slept? continued the next evening at 5pm, and since then the document has reached the grand total of... 12.5k words!! :D

#im proud of myself ok <3 #does this mean my writing well will dry up for 5 months after this? maybe. maybe. probably #this fic spawned out of me plucking at my head hairs and being suddenly Struck with inspiration btw. related to the hair yanking #it's surprisingly hard to pull out individual strands of hair when it's short. anyway #we are 3 and a bit chapters in and i'm happy with the pacing too #haven't gone over to edit yet so we'll seeee how that goes #anyway hopefully this sudden motivation carries me through the whole fic. hopefully the whole holidays #do i still have a million WIPs? yes. should i be working on the published WIP that has some very lovely people awaiting new chapters? yes. #is this likely to become yet another unfinished WIP? most definitely! but that's Ok because i am having Fun and that is all that matters #when it hit midnight i was still writing and made sure to add the wordcount to friends words doc #at long last my month-long streak of 0s has been interrupted #yea i also upped my word goal from 7k considering i was at 9k by midnight pdhdf

[realguitarcenter]

"I'll never be good at this, I'm not a natural at all" "I'll never achieve my dreams, I'm not good" ok. then work twice as hard to achieve them. hell. exceed that. it doesn't matter if you weren't a natural-born genius at something. that just means you'll have to work harder than a natural. and in my opinion that's even better. you earned your skill!! and that's something to be even more proud of

#tbh I really want to work hard enough to achieve my dream #I don't view being a musician as. y'know. making music for people to jam out to #and that's great! #I want people to be able to vibe out to it!! #but I think being a musician s more than that #i think musicians are heros #because music saved me #and im going to save people too #and I want to get up there and etch my name into the fabric of the universe #I don't care if in the end I'm insignificant #because I'll make myself be significant #even if its just for one moment #I want to make the world stop and stare #and smile #maybe

[bangcakes]

.

#so like is the rest of my life just gonna be Yearning from now on NZNXNXJXNXMX #ok maybe not the rest of it. but the forseeable future. god how do ppl do this. how have ppl BEEN doing this. #ignorance is truly bliss like. i talk to my friends about him n they dont like fully understand bc theyve never liked someone so mucg #its just so embarassing to talk about n i just BDNDJDJNDJD #i just !!!! always imagined myself single. and would Say Stuff about not wanting anything like that but now im a big clown JDJDJDJJDDJ #BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ITD BE LIKE THIS. GOD #im also like. trying to talk myself out of it. like oh maybe its all in my head JDJDJDJDJDN #but like just too much has happened. idk. im just........ im feeling impatient 😭😭😭😭 #but like. its progressed well so far with me just progressing things when they feel Right. hhhhh god #and like things wouldnt have progressed this far without him liking me at least a little???? #idk !!!!!!!!!!!! this stuff is so hard. and like i cant even see him now without making plans hhhhhhhhhhh #it was so much easier before we graduated NDJDJDJDJDMMFMD #ah well..... soon i guess. soon #itd be really nice tho if he like asked me out. but i have a feeling that maybe im not being obvious to him?? maybe i gotta spell it out idk #he also said (in ref to a job offer tho) that he wouldnt take it unless it was for sure #and i have a feeling......... that maybe hes not sure ????????? god idk #rip to my simple life. guess i gotta wait til i see him again hhhhhhh #personal

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping