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#maybe romance if you squint??
crypticjackal13 · 1 year
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What about Red Son reacting to the reader being LBD's host and the aftermath?
Redson x LBD host!gn!reader + aftermath Headcanons (romantic??)
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Okay so this boy will be stressed out of their mind. First his father has to play host(which was scary enough) and now one of the VERY few people he cares about has to do it too??? WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE ANYTHING THESE DAYS
You're at stake. That's plenty of motivation to want to team up with the Monkie Gang a little faster.
I Headcanon that those under LBD's control are aware of what they're doing--since when Wukong got possessed he moved as if it was a struggle. So you're forced to do all these terrible things because LBD needs a vessel and you're a good fit.
You see Redson fighting, fighting for you, fighting for their parents. And you feel helpless because it's not your fault she's so powerful, you don't want to hurt anyone, especially not Redson
The main battle happens, and you're yeeted away from her control. You're super weak from what little fighting against her you were able to do, but the last thing you see before passing out is Redson.
When you wake up, you're on Flower Fruit with all the others, post-battle. You're laying on the ground with something draped over you....it's Redson's jacket :D
He sees you're awake and immediately starts asking you how you are, do you need anything, are you in pain, etc
You're kinda amazed he's being this nice, especially in front of the others.
"Red." "I--yes?" "Relax." "yup you got it."
He's extra mindful of you for a bit. They let you sleep at their place, they send you with runes for protection whenever you're on your own, and perhaps the best privilege is getting his soft side.
Yeah, 10/10 :]]
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munsonbrackets · 2 months
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You were unsure of when you had first met Astarion. When had you first fallen in love? Maybe 200 years ago? Maybe last week? Maybe in another lifetime.
You could imagine it. You chasing for the train, Astarion yelling for you to pick up the pace, that the universe wouldn’t wait for the slow, not even someone as sweet as you. 
But you would act like you didn’t hear the last part, you would watch as Astarion’s face switched to something between disappointment and relief. You might even pretend not to notice that. The outlaw criminal, Astarion, a wanted fugitive, running with you, a fugitive from your future.
Or maybe the two of you met at a masquerade. Astarion in a pristine white suit, tailored to him with red stitching and a silver mask adorning him along with silver jewelry additions, highlighting his bright hair.
He would offer you his first dance of the night. Something in you would scream that he would also offer you his last. His last dance of the night wouldn’t be spent figuring out your footwork and pacing, his last dance would be spent adoring you. Adoring you in your classical suit, a mask almost matching his own.
You could imagine the two of you falling. Hard and fast. Towards bowling blue waves that reached high than either of you could reach. You’d be in the embrace of him, clutching him to your chest as he held you for dear life.
That’s how he looked at you. As if you were life itself. Even if he hadn’t known the feeling of life for so so long. You made him feel like he was living, that he didn’t have to be afraid of the sun, especially when it would beam at him through your eyes each morning that rose outside of the safety curtains.
Even as you laid still, pretending to be asleep while he pretended he didn’t know, he admired you. The dawn you brought him that he wasn’t sure if he would ever live to see with you. This perfect forever. The exact way he wanted the two of you to stay. Forever, always.
Love, Astarion.
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startanewdream · 2 years
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Hey, a guy who suggested that Snape's reactions to Sirius/Lily bond here😅. First of all, THANK YOU so much😭, I'm sure this is going to be an excellent and very satisfying content to read, simply can't wait!
But since you mentioned you don't have all yet, I'd like to suggest one if you don't mind - please include a one where Order members come back from some mission (somewhen around OotP) and Sirius and Lily clean each other's wounds. But since they're too tired for magic they do it old fashioned way which means Lily is touching Sirius' bare chest and Sirius is touching Lily's upper body which has only bra on it.
Of course it's completely platonic for Sirius and Lily because they're completely comfortable with each other (and too worried about each other to think about stuff like this) but OH MY GOD, Snape's reaction at the sight and his inner thoughts would be PURE GOLD.
I know I promise more scenes but I just wanted to post this one sooner because this prompt was far too brilliant (and the other scenes are far less troubled — I think I'm done writing from Snape's pov truly). Fair warning that Snape's POV here is very biased and he doesn't handle it well 😏
Rated M for some cursing. 2k words of something.
***
Lily Potter was hurt.
He shouldn’t have gone to Grimmauld Place. Severus had done his part already; he’d translated Potter’s yells to the Order, had let them know that the brat somehow got in his mind the idea that Sirius Black (Padfoot, his friends had called him, thinking they were so clever with childish nicknames) had been captured by the Dark Lord, and had warned them when the kid had ran off dragging his stupid friends. That was all that was required of him.
He couldn’t know there would be a battle, couldn’t know that Lily Evans would be there fighting a Dark Lord that mostly wanted her dead, and yet—yet Dumbledore had told him, almost challenging to see how he still felt about her, that in the following battle Lily Potter had been hurt.
Dumbledore always called her Lily Potter, an unnecessary reminder that still stung. She wasn’t truly a Potter — she had lived more of her life as Lily Evans than she had ever been married to James Potter.
And if she were hurt—he had never told her how he felt, the lengths he had undergone to prove her his worth, how everything was about her. Lily should know, she deserved to know.
Grimmauld Place was quiet when he entered it. Snape hated that house, that gloomy place that Black owned as the spoiled pureblood he pretended he wasn’t; how hard it must have been, Severus always thought, to grow up with a house-elf tending to your needs, between richness and luxury, knowing his place on society, the eldest son of a noble family—
And probably because he had let his thoughts stray too near Sirius Fucking Black, he heard his loud laugh.
It was enough for the portrait of Walburga Black start screaming. Snape retreated hastily to the first room he found, just as he heard the sound of someone running the stairs.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled Black; there was a flash of light and the sound of the portrait’s screams died.
Snape peaked through the door; Black was still in the stairs, facing the other direction. He was panting, and if for anger or for running down the stairs, Snape could only guess. He wasn’t wearing any shirt, revealing muscled shoulders and back of someone who clearly had too much time to exercise and too little to do; then Black turned around—and of course he was fit, perfect biceps and torso, everything firmly shaped and did he shave his chest or—
And then a grim satisfaction broke through the acid that was bubbling inside him, because Black’s shapely chest was marked with purple bruises, giant spots that had probably hurt him when he had been hit, and how good was that—
“Sirius!”
Black turned again, following the same direction that Snape was now looking at, but from his angle he couldn’t see Lily. She sounded so disturbed…
“Come on! You won’t get away with this.”
Black sighed, shaking his head, but he climbed the stairs again. Severus hesitated for a moment before casting a Disillusionment Charm on himself; it wasn’t his best work, and if anyone would look directly in his direction, they might notice it, but he had to risk it, had to make sure that Lily Evans was fine…
Any worry they might notice him vanished from his mind when he reached the second floor. Black had entered one of the rooms of the house, and Lily was there, pulling him down to sit in the only bed of the room. She didn’t look hurt, though there was dried blood splattered in her jacket.
Snape looked at her, searching in her face for some sign of injury, or maybe that she was under pain, but there was only concern and it was directed straightly at the man that she was making sure was resting comfortable against the pillows of the bed.
“I am fine,” Black insisted, when Lily pulled a cauldron to the bedrest. 
“Of course you are,” she answered, flashing him a smile that made Snape’s inside churm. Black wasn’t fine, he couldn’t be with those injuries, and yet he was clearly pretending to look brave for Lily as if she was going to fall for this act—she had to see through him… “If you were good to go argue with that portrait.”
“I hate her more than I hate Death Eaters—and that’s a lot.”
She chuckled; it was a teasing laugh, one that made Black’s lips twitch as if he wanted to laugh as well.
“I mean it,” he insisted, sounding like a petulant child. Snape waited for Lily’s spurn; it never came. “She wasn’t one, but she supported them well enough, raised all properly Black Death Eaters—”
“Not you.” Lily’s voice was shimmering with warmth. “She could never break you.”
Black smiled. “I had a good influence,” he whispered, and then Lily turned her head to look at him. Snape couldn’t see the expression on her face, but he could see how Black’s eyes were shining, standing her gaze; Black looked greedy, demanding. There were only a few inches between their faces. 
Snape grabbed his wand, knowing he wouldn’t be able to help himself if Black threw himself over her, but after a moment Lily turned , moving away to bring the cauldron closer; Snape was glad that there was trouble in Lily’s green eyes now. She hadn’t felt comfortable with Black’s presence, she was repulsed by him…
“Lay back,” she told Black, and he did what was asked, laying still as Lily sat by his side, swirling the content of the cauldron. She grabbed a spoonful of the potion, a transparent almost-pasty liquid, and placed a few drops over the purple spots on Black’s chest.
He knew that Lily had always been an excellent potion maker, but still he wished that she had mistaken something, that the potion would burn through Black’s skin, melting his abs, unshaping his body, thinning him into nothing—
And for a brief moment, it seemed Snape’s wishes were granted.
“Ouch!” Black twisted in the bed, looking uncomfortable. “This burns.”
“Stop being a child,” answered Lily at once. Her words were scolding, but she sounded more fond than anything. “It will be better in a minute,” she assured, and then, without hesitation, as if that was the most normal thing in the world, she leaned closer, supporting her weight in the bed with one hand and caressing Black’s chest with the other hand.
No, it wasn’t a caress, she was just spreading the potion over his chest, and yet—her fingers were moving softly, smoothly, dancing over his skin. There was a smile on her lips that didn’t belong there; Black sighed contentedly, sinking his head into the pillows and closing his eyes.
“Fuck, this feels good,” he moaned.
“Oh, no more pretending this wasn’t hurting as hell?” She teased, amused.
“Not hell.” Her hand stopped moving for a moment, watching him. Black opened an eye, full of mischief. “Fine, but not a ninth-circle of Hell pain. Maybe a second-circle pain.”
Lily resumed her movement. “You could be in Heaven bliss if you haven’t acted all noble.”
Black opened both of his eyes now, but Lily didn’t meet his gaze; there was a severe frown on her forehead now. Black’s expression softened.
“I had to protect you,” he whispered.
That didn’t appease her. “It’s not your job, Sirius. I can take care of myself.”
“Of course you can, but—” He took her hand, intertwining their fingers, waiting until Lily looked him in the eyes. “I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”
There was a long moment of silence. Lily bit her lip and lowered her head, her hair creating a curtain over her face; Snape couldn’t see her expression, but he could see Black’s, and once again, over a thin layer of fondness, Black’s eyes were greedy, lustful, as they moved over Lily’s face, admiring her, desiring her. 
That was wrong, repulsive, and Snape wasn’t surprised when Lily hesitated: “Sirius—”
But Black ignored her. “Your turn,” he said, sitting on the bed, and pulling the cauldron to himself.
“I’m—”
“Let me guess, you are fine?” He winked at her. “I saw you wincing there. Left shoulder?”
Lily pulled away from him, crossing her arms; she looked annoyed, lips set in a thin line as if she was just considering not answering at all, but after a moment she sighed.
“Right,” she said, defeated, turning his back to him.
For a moment Snape thought she was staring directly at him, and he didn’t dare moving, but Lily’s eyes moved past him without noticing anything. She raised her hands to remove her jacket, but Black stopped her.
“Let me,” he offered. Lily nodded, just extending her arms to help him. Underneath her jacket, her shirt was soaked with blood.  Black hissed. “Fuck, Lils,” and he ripped her shirt, exposing her skin and the black bra she wore beneath it. 
She shivered, but made no movement to cover herself, standing half-naked with her bare back to Black. On her right side, from her neck to her shoulder, there was a long scarlet cut, dried blood around it. Sectumsempra, Snape realized with a sudden rush of fury; it had been misfired, luckily, or she would have bleed out by now, but still he promised he would find whoever had done it, not Lily—
And then his gaze fell, following the light of the necklace she wore, to the golden ring that was swinging over her chest. The ring shone, but he forgot it quickly; her skin was cream-coloured, with freckles splattered over her bosom, soft to look; her bra marked her curves, lifted her tits, and how he had dreamed of seeing her like this, of sliding down the strap of her bra to reveal all her beauty to him.
Once again it seemed his wishes were granted, for there was a hand carefully moving the strap of her bra down to the middle of her arm, revealing more of her skin, and something stirred inside him, blood rushing—then the rage renewed, for Black was touching her skin now, applying the potion over her cut, his fingers treading over her skin with far too much intimacy.
“Oh, god,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and arching her neck to give him better access. “I am an amazing potion maker.”
Black snorted; that brought a smile to her lips as if she had expected that reaction. Snape closed his fits, hatred filling him, even though he couldn’t take his eyes off the scene, of how Black’s hand was massaging her shoulder, his finger brushing over her chest, almost touching the exposed top of her tit.
“I would rather you were an amazing dueler,” said Black, voice barely repreensive. 
“I am.”
“And how did you get hurt?”
Lily hesitated for a moment. “Bellatrix,” she admitted at last. “Your cousin is a nasty piece.”
“I was dueling her.”
“Yeah, well.”
“Lily…”
She shivered. “She was aiming at your back, you were too close to the Death Veil and—I didn’t think, I had to do something, I—” And then she broke, turning around to face him, her lips trembling. “You nearly died, Sirius.”
“Who acted all noble now?” He asked softly, caressing her arms. “Such a Gryffindor of you.”
“Stupid and reckless?”
“And brave,” he assured, and Lily smiled nervously in answer. “Just don’t die on my account, I could never explain this.”
“No one would blame you,” she assured him, turning around again to allow him to finish applying the potion. "He wouldn't," she added, her voice so low that Snape almost thought he had imagined it.
Sirius sighed. “I know,” he admitted in a low voice. Then he shook his head, a devilish grin taking control of his features as he moved the cauldron back. “Do you remember what you used to do when Harry scraped his knees?”
Lily frowned, thoughtful. “I kissed—” And then Black placed a kiss on her bare shoulder, over her cut. “Sirius!”
Snape waited for a reprimand, an unquestionable reproval of Black’s lack of limits, but Lily was giggling. “This is disgusting,” she said, nothing in her voice betraying any hint of disgust as she brushed the potion out of his lips with the back of her hand.
“You love me,” Black said easily, surely, confidently, and Snape decided he couldn’t hear her confirmation, couldn’t deal with even the possibility that Lily Evans had fallen for Black—somehow that was worse than seeing her with Potter, not him, not Black—
He brushed something on his way out, the sound waking up Walburga Black’s portrait again, and he welcomed the yells, hoping it was enough to dwindle any other sound he might hear in that house again.
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fungiac1d · 1 year
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Turning blood stained water into gold.
About how greed is silent as poison.
Mammon x MC (gender neutral)
TW: Mentions of blood.
You couldn’t say when it started,  maybe it was in one of those days in the subway, sitting silently while looking at yourself in the window, people surrounds you and yet you are awfully alone,
so much people
and so much silence,
it felt asphyxiating.
Still, life is great you wake up in the morning and comb your hair in a manner that is, maybe, a little bit rough  and would make your mother scowl at you.
Then you go for breakfast in the sweet summer morning, your mouth and lips are dry, the insects buzz outside  or maybe they don’t perhaps they are being drown in the dirty air, in the killer noise of a city.
Where you are at doesn’t matter at all,
does it?
Maybe it started while you were dressing yourself,
do you want bigger clothes? Smaller clothes? A different body? Is yours awkward and painful? You look at yourself in the mirror, standing alone in the room, 
a distant voice echoes inside: What do you want? How much do you want?
Scared you look around, confused by the sound. It’s the room? Or is it you?
One day you are walking, you stop at one of these many shops. There is something beautiful in the showcase; your insides squirms with need. 
It’s so nice, so nice, you would reach out for it. You can feel your eyes caressing it but your hands are deep inside your pockets.
23:05.
Tonight you are wondering about it, what did you see? What did you really see? Someone by your side in the subway? Your mother, combing your hair sweetly? Did you hear insects? Or a killer noise, a reminder of all the people around you? Clothes? A better body? Money?
The water of the bath hugs you, you are shivering in the darkness, you really don’t know when it started but now you can’t stop it,
the wanting, the need,
the voice sounds louder,
you are sure now: it’s inside. 
What do you want? How much do you want?
You want to scream,
you want a lot and it’s  tearing you open yet you really couldn't answer if someone asked what you crave from. The voice is hammering it ways out of your body, your mouth is bleeding, have you bitten yourself?
You shiver in the warm water and suddenly you know, he is there behind the bathroom curtain. He has bright eyes and he could turn your blood stained water into gold or maybe he will just rot you from the inside with need.
Your heart churns  and you see light. A silent poison, we  crave for things,  for experiences, we want to grab everything we can with our hands, even if it freezes or burns 
and we call it freedom,  reality is sadder.
“Humans desire is bigger than them,”
you hear him.
“and infinite search for pleasure,
for everything, 
it really  does not matter where you are, does it?”
Under this heaven, there was never an option.
He holds your face, you can feel the warm skin against your flesh.
“What do you want?”
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ray-elgatodormido · 3 months
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When the Elixir Crack starts kicking in
Just a bunch of Lü Bu stuff to get used to CSP
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Not used to adding colour. Then again I’m not used to writing goofy fanfiction yet here I am.
Making progress on that fanfic though so yippee or GOD NO
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tciddaemina · 1 year
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sort of hate people who leave negative stuff in the bookmarks of a fic tbh. like sure yeah you have no obligation to write anything, but if you are going to write something why the fuck would you make it a bland as list of all the things you disliked about the work
like bro, you could just keep it in your head. say it out loud even. write it on a post it note if you must. but like damn why the fuck would you ever write a laundry of your shitty little peeves somewhere that the author is able to see it. authors can and do browse peoples comments in the bookmarks of their works bc people sometimes leave really touching heartwarming stuff there
just like. jesus fuck. if you have nothing nice to say then youre honestly free to shut the fuck up and move on
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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also: i just finished n*torious sorcerer, and enjoyed certain aspects of it but was left unimpressed/unconvinced by others (longer letter later on this, maybe? no promises tho), which i guess makes it yet another addition to the growing list of m/m tradpub fantasy novels i wanted to love but ultimately didn't, quite? part of me is honestly starting to wonder if the capacity for love is burnt out of me, although that sounds awfully dramatic and i quite frankly think it's equally possible that we're just getting more and more writers coming up by way of fandom and that it's eaten particular, recognizable sorts of holes (ha) in their skillsets...
#i mean—i don't know‚ that may be confirmation bias#it's not as if writers who didn't cut their teeth on fandom are universally good at‚ say‚ establishing worldbuilding#and not just sketching it out suggestively and relying on readers to supply what's not stated#(also like. at some level good worldbuilding can be sketched out as long as the sketch is *sufficiently* suggestive. sargent style.)#(and certainly overexplaining can easily sour into exposition dump. but like. you know what i mean maybe.)#or at writing women#(and actually on that point i thought this book was notably more successful than‚ say‚ meadows' or rowland's most recent efforts)#(still a bit unbalanced in that there were arguably four major characters—the central m/m couple and then a pair of sisters—#and the men had their arcs‚ i thought‚ much more resolved than the women did)#(in fairness i think the 'gotta leave something for the sequels!' factor may be relevant there)#(but—idk. something to be said abt priorities and whose stories we feel it's necessary to resolve at least the opening act of#vs whose stories we think we can leave in-progress and still feel as though we've tied up enough loose ends to have a satisfying book)#anyway—i hope obviously!—i'm not saying writing romance between two men is somehow an intrinsically misogynist move#but like. esp if you're writing something that's got a plot bigger than just the romance‚ i do feel like you ought to have women characters#and they ought to be given enough weight to feel like full people‚ even if they're full people we aren't focusing on#or otherwise spending a ton of time with#i don't know. i don't want to carp about any of this. i want to be magically presented with stories i love#where i don't feel the need to start squinting suspiciously at aspects of them because they've successfully convinced me#i wish i could tell whether the problems are with what i'm reading or with me :/#(very possibly both. road to el dorado gif only it's the dark version so no one has a goatee.)#bookblogging#you may have gotten the impression that i love to be a hater but i'm actually very tired of it#would love to be transported actually! cue patrick wolf the days
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sinnhelmingr · 1 year
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love the recurring trope of hel finding world's most heinously traumatized man and saying 'will no one be his companion and reassure him of his worth in this world when the anger or sorrow passes?' then refusing to wait for an answer.
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mashas-rotting · 2 years
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This is a Love Story
So this might become a series. It's my current hyper fixation. But I suck at commiting to a project I'm better at one shots. However there's a lot of back story that will be explained later.
Warning smut, blood, death, cussing, bareback sex, knife play... I guess cannibalism
Minors dni
The night air is crisp, it's almost as if the wind can hear your heart and howls in sympathy, but you know it's just autumn kissing your flesh and dancing with your hair. The events are playing in slow motion. The problem is so are your movements. A bald rogue ninja with tattoos on his face and arms, slices mei, the newest anbu member, across the neck with a kunai.
Blood pulses out as her brown eyes go wide. It's not dramatic the way it is in the movies, with lots of squirting, it's dramatic the way life is. The gargling, she would scream if she wasn't drowning in her own crimson liquid, is the worst part. Baring your teeth like a wild animal, you feel your e/c eyes shift as your emotions rage.
Suddenly, things move in real time and you're able to get behind the culprit as they drop meis delicate body, well she wasnt quite dead yet but would be soon. "What the f-" he doesn't get a chance to finish before your hand is through his chest and in front of his body. The rogue nin looks down at your hand which holds his still beating heart.
"Absorption jutsu." Ripping your hand out of his body, you begin to eat the muscle. It was a gruesome ability, but it allowed you to not only kill, but to absorb their very soul. It's probably a forbidden jutsu, but you're only able to do it as a result of a deal with a demon. the exact specifics of said deal are damn near impossible to recreate.... plus only one other person had seen you use it before. Kakashi hatake, your team leader, had seen it once when you were in a particularly dark place on a mission, not unlike this one.
"That was the last of them." Kakashi says covered in a shine of sweat, as you flick your hand trying to dry it. "We should hurry back before we're ambushed again." He nods and carries meis body, she had gone quiet, and you both run through the trees in silence towards the leaf village.
The passage of time is a concept you don't recognize in your shell shock, but at some point kakashi grabs your arm and stops you. Turning to him you feel the cold sting tears on your cheeks that you weren't previously aware of. "I said we should set up camp." He repeats sounding frustrated. You just nod and you both drop to the forest floor. "I'm going to dig mei a grave and have medical ninja recover her body for the family." He says laying her behind the tree you stand in front of.
"what's wrong with you?" He asks when you don't reply, the angers clear in his tone even though his mask is hiding his face, you know it'd match the emotion. "What do you mean what's wrong with me? That was a fucking blood bath. The third hokage sent us to die without more support just like I tried to tell him!" You snap back infuriated he would be upset with you. As if this was somehow your fucking fault.
"You know that jutsu could get you in trouble! What if someone saw you?! I can't keep it a secret if you use it everytime something doesn't go your way." The grey haired ninja snaps back as he walks close enough to you that you have to look up at him. "EVERY TIME THINGS DON'T GO MY WAY???" You yell shoving his chest but he grabs your hands and you stumble against him. Your chests pressing together making your brain short circuit. Being this close you can smell him and it's making you want to redirect your rage and lean into his neck and drink it in.
Instead, you find yourself staring at him in silence. heat, anger, sadness, electricity. So many things run through you as you look at each other. "You didn't tell anyone what I can do?" You want your voice to sound strong but it comes out a whisper. "No." He whispers back and clenches his jaw. It was years ago how could he have not-
Kakashi's hands let go of yours and slide down to your hips, grabbing firmly he pulls your lower body against his. Your knees almost buckle from the feeling of his fingers digging into your sides. You gasp as you make contact with his erection. How was he hard after a massacre? Who are you kidding, you'd always gotten off on kakashi fighting, covered in blood and sweat. Masked lips crash into yours, the blood from your mouth staining it. Rough but not painful, making you light headed as need floods between your thighs. You grind against him for a moment before he pushes you back, both of you panting.
His kunai is at your throat biting your skin in a way that almost makes you forget about his other hand that's moved from your hip to your ass, almost. His eyes staring at you like a cat playing with a mouse. The sharingan shining an intimidating red in the pale moonlight as he slides the weapon slowly down your exposed cleavage. It doesn't break the skin, which is a bit disappointing, but the slide of the blade on your skin is intoxicating nonetheless. The trail is a slow burn as you arch pressing into the blade harder. "Fuck." You also don't hear him breathe the word.
Suddenly, the blade is gone and you hear the fabric rip before noticing he's cut a hole in your pants. Maybe he spun you, maybe you turned around, either way you're leaning forward, holding yourself up on a tree as rubs himself along your throbbing core. "Please." you don't want to wait, you cant. He slams into you. rough, violent, angry. no warm up. This wasn't a confession, this was inevitable.
The sound of your bodies thrusting together was obscene and it drove you crazy. You felt drunk crashing into him as you both chased your high. Kakashi grunts and pants as he hits the perfect angle over and over. One of his hands leave your hip, where you were sure to have a bruise, and pulls your hair making you let go of the tree as you expose your neck to him. "Oh f-fuck" you cry out as his teeth sink into you. The pain makes you see stars but it's everything you need in this moment.
He trails sloppy wet kisses up your neck and you twist your face to the side to kiss him. For a moment you wonder where his mask went but then his tongue is in your mouth and your mind goes blank. Only the two of you exist, and the quickly arriving finishline. Suddenly you pull your mouths apart and cry out as you fall apart. The feeling of your clenching cunt gushing around him as you cum sends the kakashi over the edge. You hear him grunt in your ear as a delicious warmth fills you. His cock throbs inside of you making gasp.
Leaning into his hold, both of you try to catch your breath. After a few moments Kakashi tilts your head to the side and kisses you again, this time much gentler, and pulls out of you. You shiver at the loss of fullness and the gush of cum down your thighs. Turning around fully to face him you take his face into your hands and lean your forehead against his.
"sorry about your pants." He says snapping you out of the left over haze. Your eyes widen and you laugh. "Damn, I'll have to sew them before we head out in the morning." And just like that everything that's happened rushes back to you, only now it's a bit more bareable. "You're eyes finally went back to normal."
"What?" You tilt your head to the side. "You're eyes were doing that reflective animal thing since the fight. I always assumed you had control over it, but when they didn't switch back I figured something had gone wrong with the jutsu you did." he shrugs.
"I have as much control as my emotions allow. It has nothing to do with the jutsu." He hmms in response and you both work on setting up camp. He volunteers to take first watch and you accept feeling exhausted.
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crypticjackal13 · 2 years
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hi can I request a macaque, monkey king, Nezha, spider queen and Chang’E separatedly x transmac austictic reader
like reader is loving towards everyone and also chaotic plus they sometimes do crazy stuff like for example if there at a zoo and they see a animal they like for example a tiger they will stop what there doing and they will literally climb the bar wall and be with the tiger and start doing tiger noises as the tiger and the tiger replies back and start being affectionately towards reader as then macaque, monkey king, Nezha, spider queen and Chang’E noticed there gone and sees reader where they are with the wild animal and they will start panicking and will get them out of there and start scolding them as reader then start tearing up they will stop scolding them and try to comfort them and telling him that they where worried and the rest you can do what you want I don’t mind if you change it
Ngl I had a stroke trying to read this but yup I got the general premise! Also props to you for being my first spider queen request :)) I love her sm! I'm gonna do my best! I ran with the tiger idea ngl
SWK, MACAQUE, NEZHA, SPIDER QUEEN, AND CHANG'E x Transmasc!Autistic!Reader Headcanons!
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Pronouns: he/him
CW: mmm I don't think there's any?? Comment if yes
Macaque - between the two of you he definitely has the brain cell. He was excited to go to the zoo with you, especially after seeing how pumped up you were to see the tigers. He got the tickets and you two made your way over. Now, he’s got many ways of keeping track of you—being in your shadow, clones, or even just holding your hands—but he chose to use none of those. So when he turned around to look at you after checking out a different animal and you were GONE, panic mode set in. It’s too crowded for him to use his six ears, so he resorts to just running around until he sees you with the tigers. As fast as he can he gets you out of there and takes you to the side. He’s scolding you, telling you that you can’t just do that, but when he sees you starting to tear up he feels bad and reassures you that he’s not upset or anything. He’s just happy you’re safe, now please go wash your hands he SAW you smushing the tiger’s face after it ate—
SWK - this man is the same way with the monkeys. When you two went to the zoo, he stopped and made noises at the monkeys(and you got bored of their conversation so obviously you just wandered off…). He freaks out a bit when you disappeared, but thankfully you weren’t super far away. Not gonna lie, he’d probably let you have your fun with the tigers for a bit—but then it’s go time and he gets you out of there. He doesn’t “scold” you, but he does gently explain that you should at least give him a heads up next time so he can at least help you jump the fence! He’s laid back and honestly I HC him as neurodivergent so he’d vibe really well with you. 
Nezha - SIR PLEASE YOU WILL GIVE THIS MAN A HEART ATTACK (/lh)! Likes going out with you when you’re feeling up for it because he’s got a lot of cool knowledge stowed away in his brain that he can share. However he doesn’t like it as much when he has to use his magic ribbon first as a lasso to get you out of the enclosure but then as a leash to keep you close for the rest of the zoo visit. He half-drags you along to the bathrooms to help you clean yourself up, all while telling you the various ways that could have ended badly. But his demeanor changes when he sees the oncoming storm of emotions in your face. He would hate to upset you. So he stops, sits down with you, and reassures you that it’s okay, but you can’t do that. He values safety over ANYTHING else, so don’t blame him too hard for wanting you to stick by his side. 
Spider Queen - You’re treated like royalty by default because you’re her lovely significant other. Naturally a zoo trip is something she’d love to do with you! Her boys will most likely tag along as well, but they’re gonna go do their own thing while you two enjoy some time together! She cares about you a great deal, and is asking every few exhibits if you’re having a good time, do you need anything, it’s not too warm right? She thought she had your hand in hers, but when you simply aren’t there, she panics a bit, and calls the boys to tell them to help look for you. When all of them report that yup, you’re chilling with the tigers—no, like IN THE CAGE WITH THE TIGERS—she is there in a FLASH. You’re out of the cage and in her arms in seconds. She’s searching first for wounds and then giving you a mini-lecture. But she stops as soon as she sees your eyes glaze over. She gives you a little space and then has you take some breaths with her. No, she’s not mad, if anything she’s impressed. Just glad you’re okay!
Chang’e - (she was in like 1 episode so take everything here with a grain of salt) super sweet and it shows!! A trip to the zoo with you is the perfect fun date so she can take a break from her show for a while. Loves how much you like the animals, and she gives some of her own input as well! Out of the characters so far she’s the most likely to remain calm when she sees you with the tigers. Helps you out on your own time—clearly it wasn’t an accident you got in there, and you’re not in any immediate danger, so what’s the rush? Once you’re out, she has you clean up and just reminds you that you should try and admire from a distance sometimes. Then you two go sit down and eat some lunch that she prepared for you guys in advance <3
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luvth0t · 1 month
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SLUT! ━ C.L
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based off ‘slut!’ by taylor swift
or
in which you work in a man’s world, and loving your competitor is a lot more damning for you than charles.
warnings; smut, driver!reader, themes of sexism and misogyny and touches on inequality, angst, lotta tension tbh, she’s kinda long, unprotected sex, overstimulation, praise, degradation like once, public sex, jealousy and maybe a bad friend reader if u squint, haas suck, manifested monaco win for charles :p
lovelorn and nobody knows
love thorns all over this rose,
i’ll pay the price, you won’t
you’d overcome enough challenges in your life.
you’d constantly proven everyone wrong, do what those said you can’t ━ every step and move you made was met with criticism instead of praise. doubt instead of belief.
you found a way. you broke the records, created your own more so. first modern day female f1 driver, and you didn’t intend to be the last.
haas wasn’t where you wanted to be, and while most expected you to be happy with just having a seat; that’s not why you were here. you didn’t fall in love with the sport to just become a driver.
you wanted to win. podiums, wins, championships. like the other 19 drivers ━ you all wanted the same thing.
for some reason you were the only one who got laughed at when speaking on such wants.
but you got used to the laughter, to the unamused or unimpressed journalists ━ this was a man’s world.
that didn’t scare you as a 14 year old girl, and it wouldn’t scare you now.
all these challenges and obstacles that you overcame, all the doubt and hate you shook off; yet there was a certain something you just couldn’t shake.
certain someone more so.
it killed you inside that a man of all things could cause you so much grief, so much internal conflict.
for some reason when it came to charles, you just couldn’t resist. putting your career first, which you’d done all your life, suddenly became difficult.
you didn’t show it, you also weren’t too hard on yourself. it was unfair to be in this position in the first place. to have to be so aware of your relation to the driver, any other drivers of that matter, was a circumstance only you found yourself in.
friendships and banters amongst any other pairings on the grid was adored; snatched up by social media and cameras.
your friendships caused headlines and unwanted press apparently.
it was something you picked up on quickly, the obsession of romance and the assumption that you wanted to sleep with every damn man you raced alongside.
you laughed at it, spoke down on such thing; then didn’t give it any of your time.
until suddenly the rumours were true; charles leclerc had somehow weaselled his way past every barrier and wall you put up.
it wasn’t something you accepted quickly. and once you caught wind of your stupid little heart and it’s fondness of the monegasque you were quick to try put the friendship and it’s entirety six feet under.
this worked, for a few months.
charles had been confused ━ under the assumption you two were at the bare minimum friends. as good as friends as two drivers could get at least. then suddenly you avoided him as if he was carrying the plague.
he couldn’t question it however; it’d be pathetic. to ask you why you refused to meet his eyes in press conferences and drivers briefings anymore.
why you avoided whatever side of the drivers parade truck he was on. why you couldn’t spare him more than a ‘hello’ in passing these days.
he interacted less with other drivers, and didn’t question them. so he couldn’t question you.
las vegas however, was your downfall.
drinking was unavoidable ━ daniel had made you promise to go out with him the moment you congratulated him on his return; and if it hadn’t been him, you knew someone would’ve of.
with daniel, there was max. that was fine; you got on well with max.
then there were talks lando would make it out, despite having gone to hospital; you knew a couple other drivers would also be in the same club you were. an entry fee so high, everyone around you was oozing importance and wealth.
it shouldn’t have surprised you when suddenly charles appeared at an already drunk daniel’s side; loud laughter and murmurs of a prior vegas trip giving you enough time to down your drink in preparation to be in his presence.
you couldn’t run, not when stood in a group of four; silver slip dress doing little to allow you to blend in with the crowd around you.
you felt his gaze on you before your eyes met his, almost as if it was causing heat on your skin ━ demanding you to look at him.
his eyes had met yours with a slight twinkle, slightly hooded and telling you that he too had enough alcohol running in his veins; and the lazy smile he flashed you had your own lips curving upwards with little resistance.
it was embarassing the way your cheeks went a tint of pink as you watched him weave around daniel who was now speaking to max, too engrossed in a story to care about the way charles moved him out of the way, to stand next to you.
immediately you were aware of his hand finding the small of your back as your body became aware of the closeness of him, breath getting caught in your throat as he leant down towards your ear.
“you look incredible,” the compliment was genuine; the smile accompanying his words rendering you unable to find room to complain.
suddenly it was too hot in here. you’d like to blame the alcohol, or the stuffy club. but the man to your left was the only reason you suddenly craved fresh air.
“thank you,” you hummed, not creating distance between the pair of you despite the idea crossing your mind. he was too close, you should step away. but his cologne smelt incredible. and his hand was still lingering on your back lightly.
his smile only grew at your response, having expected you to wiggle away and disappear into the crowd.
the conversation was harmless, it always had been; but speaking with charles was just a reminder that he was one of the good ones.
he’d only ever been kind to you; kind to everyone. one of the first to speak with you like any other driver, speak about racing and your careers without undermining you.
the more time you spent with him the more clear it became that he was flawless. and oh so tempting.
maybe you would’ve ended the conversation when daniel gave you an out, interrupting the pair of you. but it was with shots on a tray next to him.
three shots later and the four of you were all cringing, scrambling to find chasers; charles offering you a lime that you quickly took ━ managing to squirt lime juice everywhere but your mouth.
it had the pair of you erupting into giggles, your hands quickly landing on his shirt which was now speckled in droplets.
“i’m so sorry!” you exasperated, only now becoming aware of the way you were struggling to stand up straight. using his chest to balance you momentarily.
he wasn’t doing any better, telling you it was fine through his own laughter; his hand lifting to your face ━ thumb brushing a few droplets off your cheek as he too swayed side to side.
your eyes met, both drunken and amused ━ and suddenly all rational thoughts had left your body.
“we need another.” you declared, hand grasping around his forearm; watching as his lips parted to disagree. but he couldn’t. a good time too tempting to resist right now.
max and daniel were long forgotten as you weaved through the crowd to the bar to sought after shots of your own; unable to identify the moment your hands had taken grasp of each other.
it was a fun two hours; innocent as well, flirtatious maybe but his hand didn’t stoop lower than your back ━ drinks consistently being poured; drivers, personnel, sponsors and fans rotating through. but you didn’t leave charles side.
you weren’t on edge either, not thinking about the what ifs. about tomorrow or the next week. just enjoying the moment.
time had gone incredibly quickly. you lost track of how many hours had been spent at the bar, how many drinks you’d downed.
charles too, until you were leaning further and further into his side. his intake stopped the moment he realised you were now struggling to stand straight.
the thought entered his mind to find a member of your team, haas or personal, to help you get you to your room soon.
he was drunk, there was no doubt about it. but he was attempting to sober up in your presence.
when you spilt a drink over the bar however, he took responsibility and declared your night was over.
it was a struggle, as his hands clasped around your arms and attempted to push you towards the exit ━ quickly realising he too was struggling to walk straight.
he’d managed however, getting you into the back of his drivers car not as easy with you dropping your phone. then him his wallet, resulting in drunken giggles and mumbles as you finally got buckled in and situated.
most of the car ride was filled with you rambling, charles more than happy to let you speak. he’d missed hearing from you ━ even if he could barely make sense and keep up with your story.
it wasn’t until you were stumbling in the hotel, through the underground entrance thankfully, and into the elevator that there was moments of silence.
you leaned back against the wall, watching as charles pressed the buttons. admiring more so, head titled aside as you gazed over the ferarri driver.
only then did you realise you shouldn’t be in this position. because all you wanted to do was get your hands on him. admire him up close, the distance of the elevator a rude difference to how the night had been spent.
your arms reached upwards, practically beckoning him over; and with an amused smile he easily fell into place ━ approaching you as his hand pressed against the wall beside your head, eyebrows raising upwards in curiosity as he peered down at you.
your arms wrapped around his neck naturally, neither of you phased from the new closeness and comfortability ━ your eyes flickering over his face, lingering on his lips for a few moments too long.
“i want to kiss you,” the words escaped your lips without any thought; it was as if a weight was lifted off your chest. some form of confession quite relieving.
charles hummed at your words, smirking even as he let out a breathy chuckle.
“yeah?” he teased ━ his breath fanning your face, and you nodded without any hesitation. it’s not what you wanted that had you not making any movements.
“mhm,” you sighed, head falling back; charles having not expected the huff of disappointment. you missed the way his eyebrows furrowed for a split second. if he was sober maybe he’d pick up on your internal conflict.
“kiss me then,” charles chimed, hand finding the side of your head; cupping your cheek so delicately you could only lean into the embrace.
never had you called on such will power and mental strength, fighting every instinct and nerve in your body that was practically yearning for him. begging you to put yourself out of your misery for once and rid the distance between the pair of you.
but you hadn’t come so far for nothing. you could only make so many drunken decisions.
“i can’t,” the words were painful to say, even the slight numbness that alcohol brought; you felt every sting of the sentence.
you watched the way his lips only curved upwards, he hadn’t picked up on the seriousness of your words.
“why not?” the question was teasing, his thumb caressing your cheek making it difficult to stick to your guns.
you looked at him as if he should know; because you’d hope he’d have some sort of idea. maybe if you could see straight you would’ve realised that charles reality wasn’t the same of yours.
“people will talk.” it sounded pathetic when you said it out loud, the sentence sobering you up enough to realise such thing. you weren’t one to usually care what people thought, so the way his smile faltered made sense.
charles took a few moments to process your words ━ he would’ve stepped away if it weren’t for your arms around him.
he wanted to point out that you two were in fact alone, but he knew what you meant. no secret was kept secret for long in the world of f1.
“let them.” charles attempted to dismiss, a cheesy smile to match, one that had you smiling as well. but it wasn’t the grin you’d been carrying all night. it was a sympathetic one almost.
charles was putting some pieces together now, as much as he could at least. your avoidance of him was making more sense with the words currently leaving your lips.
“wouldn’t fair well for me,” you mumbled; the disappointment clear in your tone. the annoyance at the fact there was clearly something stopping you. your mood was falling, charles noticed that easily.
and while he himself wasn’t overjoyed with how the night was concluding, he wouldn’t let it be ruined.
“it’s okay,” charles reassured quickly, his lips pressing to your forehead delicately instead ━ you shouldn’t have to explain yourself, he didn’t want you to feel as if you needed too. “let’s get you to bed.” he grinned.
the affectionate action caught you off guard, left speechless as his hand grasped yours and began to directing you out of the elevator. it only having you feeling regret and self pity for letting the moment escape your fingertips.
which only piled on you tenfold when he left your hotel room barely after making it two steps inside.
climbing into the sheets alone had never been so painful.
painful. a good word to describe the next few interactions with charles.
abu dhabi had you on edge. you didn’t know how to face him.
it was typical, finding yourself sat next to him in the drivers press conference. feeling as if every journalist in the room would take note of the exchanging glances, the way your eyes would quickly find something else if his met yours. the way you listened to him speak a little too intently.
charles however had no worries. not a thought in his mind as he shamelessly admired you, listening to every answer you gave. watching as you reacted to the words of other drivers or questions that weren’t to do with you. he couldn’t look away.
you’d avoided him all morning and yesterday; having not caught you after vegas.
charles was used to such behaviour, except now, he knew why. and your reasoning wasn’t good enough to him.
you two could be friends; it didn’t need to be one extreme or the other. so he had no shame in putting in effort to deter yours.
it was frustrating, almost as if every corner you turned he was there. all weekend, if you were not in the haas hospitality or your motor home, charles was near.
it was no coincidence, leaving the press pen at the same time; passing him after any interview, stuck next to him at the drivers briefing.
you couldn’t avoid the conversation, every moment with him was just pushing you further to the edge ━ your self control was hanging by a very thin thread and you were almost ready to cut it every time those damn green eyes linger on yours.
when you arrived at your hotel after qualifying, it was easy to spot him waiting in the lobby. an odd sight considering the lurking fans.
it made sense however, when charles beelined towards the elevator the moment you did.
you had to hold your breath as you both got inside, biting down on the inside of your cheek to not allow your own frustration bubble over.
“what are you doing?” the question was asked through gritted teeth, and the confusion that masked charles face did little to convince you he was as clueless as he looked.
the twinkle of amusement in his eye revealed enough.
“what do you mean?” the question was almost a challenge, charles peering down at you inquisitively - as if he didn’t know the answer himself.
you took a breath, shaking your head ever so slightly.
to put it simply, you were annoyed. at the world for putting you in this position, at yourself for getting to this point, and him for making it more difficult than it had to be.
“you’re stalking me.” you accused; eyes narrowing into a glare; one that intensified as his own lips curved upwards, and if you weren’t so focused on being annoyed you would’ve swooned over the dimples that lined his cheeks in doing so.
“i am not stalking you,” charles mused, laughing at the accusation as he leant against the wall behind him.
you expected more of an explanation ━ your own eyes trained ahead of you at the elevator doors that remained shut. looking at him was too risky.
“you are. you’re everywhere.” you huffed; not pleased with how clear the frustration was in your tone.
charles wasn’t phased, not in the slightest ━ the grin hadn’t left his face; almost as if any conversation with you was more than enough. even if you were huffing and puffing.
he wasn’t sure how the infatuation had spiralled so quickly; maybe he just wanted what he couldn’t have. the man wasn’t too use to rejection, and last week definitely stumped him.
or maybe he just refused to let you run away from what you clearly both see. feel. there was a connection here, he was sure of it.
“are we not friends?” charles question had you drawing a deep breath, suddenly aware of how slow these elevators were. and recognising the first flaw with being blessed with a penthouse room.
“of course we’re friends.” you rolled your eyes, speaking with such certainty as if you needed to remind yourself. friends.
you two were friends at most, that’s all you’d allow the pair of you to be.
“then you shouldn’t actively avoid me.” charles hummed, no shame in calling out your obvious behaviour that he’d let go on for too long.
it was humorous, the way your jaw dropped in offence at the accusation you knew was true.
“i do not.” your voice went up an octave, not even you could believe your own lie ━ nor try to sell it, avoiding his eye now as your leg began to bounce impatiently. it was becoming suffocating, in an enclosed space with him.
“you do.” charles mocked your voice ever so slightly, but the smile that went along with it left you no room to complain as you glanced over at him; your own lips curving upwards for a mere second.
you had nothing to say. to you it was clear, he knew where you stood. but you weren’t budging. it’s not like you wanted to deprive yourself of him; but you refused to sacrifice your career for a man. call it paranoia; but you don’t want to find out the consequences of adding truth to rumours.
“you don’t trust yourself around me.” charles had you read, and he wanted you to know it.
you two could be, should be, able to be friends at least. the monegasque was unsure as to why he was so set on such thing; some of you, was better than none.
“don’t flatter yourself.” you mumbled, attempting to dismiss his words; he was right. hit the nail on the head actually, but you wouldn’t admit that.
“we can be friends.” charles huffed when he realised he was straying from his original intentions; he didn’t want to provoke or tempt you. just make it clear there can be a platonic relationship here. you shouldn’t be scared of that.
“we are.” you reminded, eyebrows raising as you looked up at him; finally holding eye contact with the driver for more than a few seconds.
“then stop avoiding me.” charles repeated; and he’d be ashamed of how desperate he sounded if he had any room to care. but you were more of a pressing issue.
if he hadn’t called you out on a whole range of fronts you would’ve commented on his desperation; the elevator ding beating you to it regardless as the doors slid open.
“fine. only because you care so much,” your reply was playful; attempting to sound amused and unbothered ━ maybe that would distract from the fact you were agreeing with him.
you only had another day of being around him, you could easily do a day with him. las vegas was an example of your strength and will.
but as his grin widened, dimples and all, green eyes still pouring into yours as he backed out of the elevator; you knew it was never going to be easy.
the sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air
everyone wants him, that was my crime
the wrong place at the right time
of course it wasn’t easy.
you’d kept true to your word, he’d called you out so you finally relented.
the only solace you found in allowing yourself to get closer to charles was the fact you were right.
every moment spent with him felt like a ticking time bomb. you were cracking, you knew it. deep down you knew it was only a matter of time until you shattered and he’d be there to pick up every piece.
at first you’d coincidentally ran into him at your favourite cafe in monaco. not the first time you’d seen him there; but the first time he signalled you to sit down.
it was harmless at first, a quick catch up. one you’d have with any other colleague you’d bump into in public during winter break.
but there was something about seeing him in such casual attire, hoodie and sweats portraying him in a new light you couldn’t help but take a liking too.
what should’ve been five minutes of small talk was two hours of conversation; two hours of mind numbing tension, pretending to not notice the way his eyes would linger on your lips every now and then. or acting oblivious to the way you laughed at every second word that left his lips.
he parted with an offer to go on a run together sometime, and you accepted with the assumption it would be an empty gesture. a plan that never gets put in place.
but then he texted you a few days later; and suddenly you were struggling to find excuses to reject the offer. struggling to find the want too.
a run wasn’t dangerous. you’d both be pre-occupied.
and you were, until you were standing there puffed; exhausted and puffed; and struggling to not grow further flustered of the sight of a sweaty charles.
muscles flexing against the tight shirt, hair messier than usual; cheeks slightly flushed.
inviting him up to your place for a drink wasn’t your intention, but your mouth was a step ahead of your brain.
uncharted territory had now been crossed. messages were swapped regularly, weekly runs together was almost routine. then hours of conversation at either your apartment or his.
if you hadn’t fallen for him before, you definitely had now. it was beyond physical attraction. and it was mutual.
it was the way you found yourself always ensuring you had the biscuits he’d practically raided the first time he was over, always in an unopened packet awaiting him.
the way he found himself buying the lime flavoured water you preferred to drink after exercising; knowing your odd quirk of not being keen on regular water.
the way he came over with your coffee order and a chocolate croissant from your shared favourite cafe when you bailed on your run, apologising to him because you’d become run down with a cold.
“you didn’t have to do that,” you’d sniffled, heart fluttering at the kind gesture.
“what else are friends for,” charles had practically cheesed.
you’d like to convince yourself he was still at a safe distance, it made it easier to ignore the fact this wouldn’t last forever.
the limbo state was not ideal to neither of you, but it was much better than doing what you felt was inevitable. avoiding him again.
except that would just be much harder this time. before it was a crush; now you were swoon. you counted down the days to see him. awaited his name to appear on your phone.
there’d been close calls; moments where you thought one of you would crack.
like the time you struggled to grab a glass out of his cupboard, tippy toes and all it was out of reach.
you felt him behind you before seeing him, hand finding your hip as his other arm simply reached over you to grab a glass; quick to turn on your feet you hadn’t expected him so close.
“thanks,” you had mumbled, clearly flustered as you looked up at him ━ trapped between his frame and the counter; eyes finding his lips immediately.
silence fell over the pair of you, awaiting one of you to make a move.
you were glad charles had cleared his throat and stepped aside, returning to a safe distance ━ because you didn’t think you’d be capable of such thing in that moment.
charles questioned how he managed to do such thing, each and every time you got close to him he doubted how long he could resist being selfish.
he’d failed to realise back in abu dhabi that he neither could trust himself around you. he’d put in so much effort to prove to you that friends was possible, so naive to the fact it may be worse than before.
while he loved your company, it was a cruel reminder that you had ruled out the possibility of this going further. any dreams or fantasies of more would always stay that way; dreams. not reality.
it frustrated him beyond belief, not that he showed it. the way you gazed up at him through your pretty eyes; as if you’d do anything he asked. the way you always leant towards him when you laughed; how easily he could make you laugh.
and he couldn’t do anything about it. because he wasn’t selfish, you feared the consequences of being with him so he would not push you to face them.
deep down however, the pair of you knew it could only be a matter of time.
yet it still stung how easily it could’ve been avoided.
you weren’t meant to go out tonight, it had been a last minute and spontaneous decision; pressured by your friends who insisted, claiming you missed too many girls nights as it is. that winter break was there time to make up for all you miss while away during the season.
you got kicked out of the first bar you found yourself in, all because one of your friends picked a fight with the bartender; but that didn’t bother you in the moment.
on to the next.
it took a whole eight minutes being at the club, one you had subtlety name dropped to get yourself and your friends into, to spot charles in the crowd.
your friends eyes had found him first; your own merely following theirs in curiosity, and you were grateful that all four of you were preoccupied looking at the driver so they would fail to realise your own longing.
“i have not seen him in ages,” your friend stella spoke first; clueless to the developed friendship between the pair of you. you hadn’t really told anyone, call it trust issues.
“we should go say hi,” stella continued; looking at you all with hopefulness; eyes having lit up and appearing incredibly eager.
you couldn’t think of a worse idea. alcohol and charles almost ruined you once; and that was a few months ago. you didn’t think you had that much self control left.
“we have our own driver right here,” your friend had joked, rejecting the idea as she nudged your arm; purely because she wanted a girls night. and you laughed at the stupidity, ready to play along for your own selfish interests.
“unfortunately y/n, you’re not one stella can sleep with again,” your other friend joked through a smirk, alcohol causing word vomit, because by the way stella quickly slapped her arm told you that information she didn’t want shared.
the revelation had your face falling flat, not able to hide such thing as you pursed your lips in thought.
“you and charles?” the words escaped your lips with too much interest but you couldn’t stop yourself. suddenly needing to know more.
stella had let out an exasperated sigh.
you were grateful to know your friend beside you who rejected the idea of speaking to him was as shocked as you.
“ages ago.” stella tried to downplay, waving the idea off. although then she peered over her shoulder to look at the driver again, an innocent smile spreading across her face.
you nodded slightly, trying to muster a fake smile. you couldn’t be mad; it wouldn’t be rational to be mad. even in the slightest.
“i’m gonna go talk to him.” stella announced, and you could only swallow intently as your friend whined about it being girls night, watching as stella promised she’d be back before weaving through the crowd.
you were staring, but you didn’t care.
left to watch as stella made her presence known. watch as charles face lit up at the familiar face, embrace her quickly and introduce her to those he was stood with.
you could tell he was slightly tipsy, the way he was swaying side to side; even with his arm now draped around stella’s shoulders.
the sight made you sick. jealousy was an ugly trait but you’d never embraced it like you were now.
jealous of the fact your friend didn’t have to worry in going after what she wanted. jealous that she could quite happily cling to charles without worrying who saw.
your mood had plummeted, there was no hiding it. your friends definitely noticing but not questioning as they too glanced over at stella to note her progress.
it wasn’t until charles’ eyes found yours across the room that you looked away.
not in shame, you didn’t care that he knew you were watching; but more so to not make it clear how annoyed you were from the sight alone.
charles tensed up the moment he saw you ━ he hadn’t known you were here. and now that he did, the company he was with suddenly wasn’t good enough.
he’d picked up on your cold stare though; the way you failed to offer him your usual sweet smile.
suddenly he felt guilty, quick to remind himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
the driver distracted himself momentarily, tuning back into the conversation that was going on around him. but his mind was now elsewhere. you were consuming his thoughts now.
intentions to keep his distance were thrown out the window when he noticed you in his peripheral; standing at the bar alone.
he shouldn’t approach you; but the idea of letting you sit there and think he would rather spend his time with the blonde on his arm than you didn’t sit well with him either.
so he found himself excusing himself, heading to the bar where you stood.
you’d grabbed your drink, and the moment you turned around to head back to your seat and continue your moping, you’d spotted charles headed straight towards you.
a creature of habit; avoid him was your first thought. so you attempted to pretend to not see him, a sudden sense of urgency as you headed back to the booth your two friends were still sat at.
charles picked up on such thing however, his own urgency increasing as he managed to get ahead of you; practically cutting you off.
you’d been so desperate in your attempts to avoid him and his eyes that you collided, your drink taking the brunt of the hit as it fell to the ground; pouring ice and liquid on the floor, thankfully missing the pair of you.
you were quick to glare up at him, made to watch as he put his hands up in innocence and let out a quick and not too meaningful ‘sorry.’
you didn’t want to speak to him. he was an easy target for your current anger, so stepping around him was easy; you’d go without your drink for now, wanting to return to the safety of your booth.
but charles didn’t think that was fair.
he’d grabbed your arm before you made it two steps away; your name falling from his lips almost in warning.
“you don’t get to be mad at me.” charles huffed, it wasn’t fair. you told him that friends was the only possibility, so you had no reason to be glaring daggers and avoiding him as if he’d done something wrong.
he was right, you knew he was right. you weren’t even mad at him. but you were mad; fed up with the constant deprival you had to put yourself through, at how much you cared about what people would say ━ that you couldn’t put you and him out of your shared misery.
but unfortunately you had nothing else to aim your anger at; it was just you and charles in this position, meaning he fell into your firing line.
“i think you care too much about what i think of you.” you tried to dismiss his comment; not wanting to admit he was right, calling out his constant efforts of chasing you.
you watched as his jaw tensed, the breath he let out and his eyes drifting aside as he tried to rationalise his thoughts before he said something he’d regret.
“i didn’t know you knew stella.” charles huffed; deciding on what could be a civil approach. he didn’t need to explain himself, but that would be easier than playing into your game and letting you try create a rift between the pair of you.
you wanted to throw the words back at his face; but you stopped yourself. neither he nor stella owed you any loyalty when it came to one another; definitely not back then, so you couldn’t use it against him.
“it doesn’t matter.” you tried to sound calm, remove yourself from the animosity you held. if you could just get away from him, go home, and pretend this never happened.
“it clearly does.” charles didn’t miss a beat; it would have been easier to blindly believe you but how was that possible when you were refusing to meet his eyes and running away from him.
you shook your head, not knowing what to say because you couldn’t disagree there. he was right; like usual, surprise, surprise. truths were harder to ignore when it was coming from his mouth.
“it shouldn’t.” you spoke simply, before turning on your heel and heading towards the bathroom now; anywhere to get away. the thread was getting thinner, you didn’t trust yourself around him.
he’d debated on following you for a couple seconds, knowing what he should do. return to his friends. to stella; there was no complications there.
but yet he found himself just a few steps behind you, refusing to let you get the last word. to let you fall back into your old habits of avoiding him.
a part of you knew he was following you, or maybe that’s what you wanted to believe. your want to get away from him was just a product of self preservation, not true desire.
so you weren’t surprised to hear your name once you were about to reach the bathroom. turning around to face him with a sigh. you should’ve pretended to not hear him.
“what are you doing?” you huffed; looking at him with lost eyes because you were running out of things to say or do, unsure where to go from here.
“what do you want?” charles question caught you off guard, alongside the fact he took maybe one or two steps too many when catching up to you ━ so close and you couldn’t find the strength to create any distance.
you pursed your lips, shaking your head ever so slightly.
the lack of an answer spoke for itself, you knew what you wanted. him. but admitting such thing would be dangerous.
“you know we can’t━” you started to say, needing to remind yourself that as tempting as he was right now it wasn’t possible.
he cut you off however. charles knew what you thought; what you presumed others would think.
“i don’t care about anyone else. what do you want?” charles repeated, speaking with such intent it would’ve been intimidating if your mind wasn’t a scramble of thoughts.
he was practically begging you to spell it out for him; to face the truth of the matter. if you could look him in the eye and tell him you were happy with what you both had right now, he’d walk away.
but you were never going to do that. you could only bend so far.
you finally snapped.
connecting your lips with his was the easiest option, and the moment you did it was as if nothing else mattered. relief washing over the pair of you, as if a giant weight was suddenly lifted.
there’d been the slightest amount of hesitant in the action, but that was forgotten immediately.
it was rushed and messy at first, months worth of tension bubbling to the surface as your hands both pawed at one another eagerly; grabbing whatever you could.
having your hands on him wasn’t something you’d take for granted; gripping his shirt; moving to his biceps before wrapping around his neck.
his intentions were similar to yours, his large hands sprawling amongst the sides of your waist ━ not bothered by the way it caused your dress to bunch ever so slightly. he tugged you closer too, as if he was scared you’d leave his grasp.
he managed to back you into the bathroom without disconnecting your lips; hand only leaving your waist to fiddle blindly with the lock.
the kiss was still messy, eager and heated; gasping into his mouth when your back suddenly hit the wall. charles body enclosing you immediately, your legs suddenly feeling week as his hips pressed forward against yours.
it was not surprising that it didn’t stop their, neither of you were stopping now that the ice had been broken.
the night concluding with your hands spread on the wall ahead of you as charles pounded you from behind, dress bunched around your waist and panties pulled aside.
“gotta be quiet mon amour,” he’d whispered into your ear after your moans continued to grow in volume ━ his hand then moving to your jaw, sliding two fingers past your lips to shut you up.
you would’ve died happily in that moment, moments away from the best orgasm of your life.
no matter what happened, you wouldn’t be regretting it.
and I break down, then he's pullin' me in
in a world of boys, he's a gentleman
you hadn’t seen charles since that night in monaco.
he’d left for maranello not too long after, then you spent the rest of break in america; the season approaching relatively quickly.
messages were swapped, but nothing more.
testing was hectic, you didn’t get to see him or spend time with him even if you wanted too.
you weren’t sure you wanted to however. you missed him, that had been mutually expressed over text. but both you and he were scared; unsure how to navigate what happens now.
because unfortunately the circumstances hadn’t changed, you’d just gotten a taste of one another.
by the time it was raceday at bahrain, all excitement for the start of the season had left your body.
thursday set the tone; all your hard work, months of avoidance and deprival ━ it suddenly meant nothing.
you first caught wind of such in the press conference, sat alongside max, lewis, lando, carlos and alex.
when you finally got asked a question, your breath got stuck in your throat.
“did you enjoy your winter break? a new trainer in charles it seems?”
the question was posed so innocently, you knew the tone. the cheery and amused light heartedness to mask the undertones; it was accusing. you knew it was; any girl would get it.
you knew photos were circulating of you and charles running around monaco, but that wasn’t an issue. there were photos of you and daniel out for lunch as well. ones of you and toto exchanging hello’s.
what a headline; you got along with people you worked with.
“uh yeah,” you laughed off; biting your tongue, like usual. you knew when to pick your battles. “i’m no good at padel so, stuck to running.” you hummed, left to watch as the journalist nodded almost unconvinced.
it was a sinking feeling; they knew, everyone knew. it’d somehow got out. that you’d slept together. paranoia; you had to remind yourself. they couldn’t know.
“is it difficult to have relations off track with competitors?” he was looking you dead in the eye as he posed another question to you, and it hit a nerve.
you shifted ever so slightly in your seat. you hadn’t faced these sort of questions since your rookie year, when journalists didn’t realise what they should and shouldn’t imply.
you had to hold back a scoff; biting down on the inside of your cheek.
“is that a question for all of us or just me?” you practically challenged, and the awkwardness that fell over the room only had the pit in your stomach growing.
it was as if they all knew something you didn’t.
that was all you were asked, all you could think about as you sat on the couch, itching to get out of this damn room.
but that was just the start.
entering the haas hospitality your gut feeling made sense when you were faced with the entirety of the press team awaiting you.
granted, the press team was only four people. but you only ever really dealt with your own press officer if it was without warning.
the whole conversation was a blur, you felt sick the moment it begun.
‘we need to have a meeting,’
‘there’s photos of you and leclerc,’
‘damming to your reputation. our reputation,’
‘unacceptable behaviour and a breach of contract,’
‘negotiating to not let mainstream media run with it,’
‘we’re opening our own private investigation.’
you were being spoken at, no room to reply, no ounce of sympathy. you could feel the disgust as they spoke. as if you’d actually done something wrong.
“investigation?” you repeated in confusion, bewildered as you glanced between the lot of them.
you didn’t know what to say. or do.
deny? beg them to cover it up? apologise?
you felt like that 13 year old girl again, that anything you said wouldn’t matter. keeping your mouth shut as they broke out in chatter again.
short. blunt. your own press officer not even sticking around as they the dispersed, even mentioning that gene would probably be calling later.
you felt like you were going to throw up the moment you got into the privacy of your drivers room, it only taking a few seconds to find the photos flooding your timeline.
monaco. it was undeniable. it was definitely him, definitely you, kissing.
you held back your tears, determined to not let the comments ruin you. your press teams words lingering, but you pushed them back.
the day dragged, you were on edge; one wrong move and an on pour of tears would arise to the surface. just needed to wait till you were in the privacy of your hotel room.
these people would not see you cry.
you hadn’t expected the cold shoulder from your own team. but it was your manager that was the tip of the iceberg.
you hadn’t seen him all day, a close friend you’d consider him, he’d been with you since f3.
“where have you been?” you breathed as you climbed into the car, more than relieved to be leaving the track. and hopefully every conversation that was had.
“cleaning your mess.” he’d muttered in annoyance, and you couldn’t help but shake your head as your jaw clenched.
“not you too,” it was an attempt of a joke, head resting against the window. “don’t know why people are acting like i shared the teams 3 year plan with the enemy,” you huffed.
but you were only met with silence, causing your eyes to glance to your manager who was focused on his laptop in his lap.
“i mean it jason. the way i was treated today was━” you began to speak up at his silence, anger was easier than the self pity.
“what did you expect?” his question was venomous, shutting you up quickly as you stared at him with a slack jaw. it took a few moments to process, how he was on side with them.
or more importantly, not on your side. the guy who you pay to be on your side.
“for my personal life to remain personal.” you spoke like it was obvious.
you had feared this, yes, but that didn’t mean it was right. maybe you held onto hope your lack of faith in the world was misplaced. but everyone was proving you right.
he shook his head simply, so disappointingly you had to laugh, eyes gazing back out the window as you rapidly approached the hotel.
“i thought you didn’t want to be known for this.” his comment was a throw away one, but it cut you deep. his insinuation one he knew would sting, so you didn’t hide the fact it did.
“known for what?” you spoke through gritted teeth; if he wanted to insult you he better not half ass it.
there was moment of silence, hesitance; but not long enough.
“sleeping around.” he shrugged, still typing away on his computer. “great way to halt contract talks. i mean come on y/n,” he groaned.
you weren’t sure if he was right, you’d like to think your talent would over shine paddock gossip. but if he was right, the problem should lie with teams misogyny. not your sex life.
you highly doubt ferarri will hesitate resigning charles because of the matter.
you didn’t say another word, not trusting your voice; it was too much. felt like you were being attacked from every angle. ambushed even.
you’d slammed the door the moment you got out the car, urgently getting inside the hotel; managing to find the elevator through blurry eyes, tears threatening to spill.
almost there.
the elevator ride was testing, the silence made your short breaths and sniffles hard to ignore as you tiptoed on the line of breaking.
the final straw however, was charles himself leaving his hotel room as you navigated your way to yours.
your name had never sounded so delicate coming from his lips, as if he knew that you were fragile, sympathetic eyes as he took a few steps towards you.
“don’t━” you breathed out, voice breaking on you before you could say his name. your hand raising to tell him to stay where he was.
the first tear fell, silently.
“i’m so sorry,” he breathed out; cautiously stepping forwards despite your action. it broke him, the sight of you. he’d never seen you so upset.
overjoyed, pissed off, ecstatic, confused, riled up; he’d seen it all. but never had he seen you cry.
“you’re the last person i want to see right now.” you managed to get out.
lie.
complete lie, but unfortunately once more he was an easy target. the face of today’s events and the reason for fractures in practically every professional relationship you’d formed over the years.
charles didn’t take your words to heart, watching as you fumbled to find your room key; your shaky hands had him frowning, behind you now as he grabbed your arm when you took a step inside.
“please,” charles sighed; desperate for you to let him help. let him comfort you. he felt responsible, but it wasn’t guilt that was pushing him towards you.
just the need to ensure you were okay.
he’d barely received a slap on the wrist. told by his press team to ‘be more careful next time.’ and reminded issues would arise if talks of strategy and racing came to light.
that was that. his day went on. he almost got ahead of himself, optimistic the day could end with him showing up at your door to tell you that you never had anything to worry about.
but word spread quickly in the paddock, and charles caught onto the double standards incredibly quickly with how you were being spoken about in comparison to him.
you didn’t trust your voice once more, simply shaking your head ‘no’ as you got inside, attempting to shake his grasp.
he didn’t let you however, which was almost a relief.
the door shut behind the pair of you, charles tugging you towards his chest immediately.
you had no more strength, no fight left; simply letting him do so as the tears poured.
your head met his chest, arms clinging to his shirt as his arms went around you; holding you close as he mumbled encouraging words.
he felt like a safe place, allowing you to be weak and vulnerable with no fear for the first time in a long time.
quiet sobs and sniffles escaped you as you shook in his hold. it wasn’t just a days worth of torment, no, but all the other shit you put up with from the start of your career.
charles wasn’t sure what to say, just that it’d be okay. let it out. i’ve got you.
his hand was running through your hair delicately, and you somehow register the multiple kisses he pressed to the top of your head; such subtle actions that managed to slow your heart rate.
“i’m so sorry,” charles words were whispered, it was what brought you out of your own head; teary eyed peering up at him as you shook your head.
this wasn’t his fault.
“not your fault,” you spoke through a deep breath, starting to gain your composure. still timid, but you’d gotten the tears out.
“it’s not yours either.” charles spoke in certainty, sounding pissed off. because he was. and it made your stomach flip.
it was the bare minimum, but hearing someone be in your corner was exactly what you needed. the fact it was charles was just a bonus.
“i mean it’s more my fault than yours. i didn’t leave you alone, putain, i am sorry,” he began to ramble. the guilt was eating him alive. you’d tried to avoid this ━ he couldn’t help but feel as if he threw you into the lions den.
you disagreed however. deep down, this all felt inevitable. like it was a matter of when, not if. you were so scared of this happening because apart of you knew there was no avoiding it.
“i don’t regret it.” you told him in certainty, hand moving to cup his cheek; offering a sad smile. “it’s just━ not fair.” you mumbled.
his smile mirrored yours, lacking the usual brightness it held as thumb lifted to your cheeks; brushing away the tears staining your skin.
“it’s gonna be okay. i’ll fix this.” charles promised, but it wasn’t a promise he could keep. you knew that, your head tilting aside as you sighed.
his intentions were pure, held your best interest at heart.
“m’ just gonna have to let it blow over.” you told him, taking a sharp inhale. that didn’t answer the question that lingered between the pair of you.
what this was. what you two were.
he nodded ever so slightly, frustration growing at the fact he couldn’t fix it himself. he wanted to help. to rid you both of the outside noise and judgmental opinions.
“but i think━” you’d cut yourself off, you didn’t want to say it.
he knew however, by the way your grip had tightened on his shirt. the way your eyes held sympathy and sorrow. he knew what you were going to say.
“i know,” charles sighed; nodding in reassurance.
this needed to stop. whatever this was, it couldn’t go further. not for now at least; charles knew that.
rumours won’t die down if there is still truth to them.
your bottom lip quivered slightly at the sight of the sad smile he showed you; the way he was so willing to comply.
you hated the fact you both had to suffer, all for what?
“i’ll stay away, i promise,” charles hummed; biting down on the inside of his cheek as he ran his fingers through your hair once more.
you still had no words, because it was the last thing you wanted. yet somehow was what you needed.
you’d like to say to hell with it, to tell him you didn’t care. that you could be together, and figure out the latter.
but today had been hell; you weren’t sure it was something you could get used too.
“thank you,” you whispered out; charles only response was pulling you close once more, knowing when he let you go, it would be for good.
he had to let you go.
but if I'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us
if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once
charles stayed true to his word.
it was obvious, the way you two steered clear of each other.
talk of you and him died down, the paddock found something else to focus on within a couple weeks; and it was just another story for the history books that would be brought up every now and then.
their was awkwardness in the team however.
their investigation closed with no findings, something you laughed at.
a motivator; to get the fuck out of there.
it paid off, comfortably beating your teammate. dragging the car into the points most weeks.
talks with mercedes was going well, progressing nicely ━ you wanted to emphasise to your manager that charles hadn’t been mentioned once from them either.
but you weren’t going to dwell on the past.
not audibly at least.
charles was a sacrifice you hated making, and it was mutual.
it was cruel, the way you were too scared to meet his eye if cameras were around. scared one wrong move and you’d be jumped on by prying eyes and gossipers.
charles too shared your fear; he didn’t want to put you in a compromising position. and while it was physically painful to cut you off completely, he managed.
none was easier than some, it seemed.
it was laughable, how the pair of you actually believed the avoidance would stick this time. that it would actually work.
couldn’t even make it to summer break, a few months apart was bound to be all you could endure.
monaco, a race you’ll never forget.
your signing with mercedes was announced on the thursday; a milestone in your career, a highlight.
you were ecstatic, nay-sayers and doubters did little to dull your mood ━ nothing would ruin such an achievement.
but it motivated you.
you heard it all before, when you signed with haas. how it was a PR move, not on merit. for the money you would bring in. the commercial value.
it was the same thing, and the need to prove people wrong was always a blessing when you got in the car.
it’d been a wet qualifying, playing into your favour. putting the car into p3 meant everything would’ve had fallen into place. and it did.
you were overjoyed, the smile had not been wiped off your face. you were proving that contract was yours based off your talent.
you went on to hold onto p3 in the race and secure a podium, you were high off adrenaline and excitement the moment you got out of the car.
you’d handled the pressure, failed to make a mistake; blessed to have had your best qualifying at the hardest place to overtake.
the other headline of the weekend?
charles had finally won his home race.
he wasn’t on your mind, not as you shared the podium. or as you faced the media together afterwards.
you cared deeply for charles, but this was your childhood dream. years worth of hard-work had finally paid off. being near him wasn’t hard, for once, because you had way too many things to currently be happy about.
it was civi and casual, friendly; in the cool down room, on the podium; in the interview.
it wasn’t until later that night, on a random super-yacht, surrounded by drunken socialites and f1 personalities that temptation reached you once more.
you’d barely had a drink, being pulled in every way and direction; talking to many that you didn’t have time to sip the half full glass in your hand.
charles knew this; he’d been watching you all night.
his dream had come true, winning in monaco; in front of his home fans.
call him greedy for wanting more as he stood on the yacht, surrounded by his friends as his eyes settled on you.
he couldn’t help but think of the only way to make this night perfect; you.
the praise and congratulations from everyone else was nice, but he was dying to hear it from you.
to congratulate you as well. on your podium. on your contract.
he thought he was over it, the unfairness of it all. but this was a new challenge.
watching as you stood there, hugging everyone. beaming and laughing, as you should.
would it be so wrong for him to congratulate you as well? to steal a couple minutes of your time? he’d promised to stay away, but this had to be an exception.
right?
so charles went against his word, weaving through the crowd the moment you caught a break in conversations.
uncharacteristically dismissing those who tried to speak to him as he set on his way towards you, nothing would stop him.
“hey,” charles made his presence known; capturing your attention; and the way your eyes lit up and lips curved upwards, he wanted to kill whoever had deprived him of such sight for however many months.
“hi!” you couldn’t help but sound surprised, pleasantly surprised.
you’d been wanting to talk to him; which wasn’t anything new. needing to talk to him however, just unsure how to navigate such thing.
“congratulations. sure you’ve heard it all, but you deserve this.” charles words were genuine; smiling down at you proudly, and while you had heard it all the past couple hours; it meant more coming from him. “the contract as well. huge news,” he added.
your nose scrunched up slightly, grinning ━ pure happiness present because you really were oh so happy.
“thank you,” you smiled; nodding appreciatively. “i should say the same to you. i know how much this win means to you,” you spoke; and charles could only smile at the way you sounded so sincere.
“thank you,” his turn to offer thanks, a silence falling over the pair of you.
that was all you should say, all you were sure was excusable.
it was clear, the way you both had so much on the tip of your tongue; too scared to let it out. neither wanting to be the one to crack. to undone all the hard work.
charles so desperately wanted to rant his heart out, remind both you and himself that the past few months had been undeserved torture. and he was convinced he was going to for a moment.
but he couldn’t. he wouldn’t be selfish with you.
“well i’ll see you━” charles had cleared his throat, ready to do the right thing. to walk away, like he promised he would.
but you cut him off. scared if you didn’t tell him now, you never would.
“wait.” you interrupted, pursing your lips; and he was happy to shut up. he didn’t need any convincing to stay put.
“i uh, with my mercedes contract…” you trailed off; biting your lip. “i made it clear, what expectations would be of me. on and off track, obviously. like anyone would,” you rambled slightly; nervously even.
charles wasn’t sure he’d ever seen you nervous.
you were nervous because of what you were implying.
you’d made it clear you didn’t want to be held to any individual expectations off track, that your relations with others wouldn’t concern the team if it didn’t jeopardise the team.
you were grateful, how understanding mercedes were. a breath of fresh air really. so much you’d basically outright told them that you didn’t want you and charles to be an issue, if anything were to arise between the pair of you.
you’d figured if you had a team that backed you, handling outside noise and assumptions would be made a lot easier.
“me and you, it wouldn’t be an issue.” you summed up; practically spitting it out. it felt weird, suddenly lacking confidence as you referenced a ‘you and him.’ worried that ship had sailed.
you watched as his eyebrows raised, lips parting in surprise.
he hadn’t expected you to say such thing, the one thing he’d dreamt of you saying one too many times.
“if that uh, you know. ever happens, i don’t know,” you added on; feeling the need to back pedal, not wanting to come off headstrong. it was the reason for your hesitance. you and charles had never discussed what you were, because it never seemed possible.
charles wasn’t sure what to say. his first instinct was to kiss you; because it seemed as if this was the best night of his life, with all his hopes and dreams coming true.
but his care for you trumped all.
“people will still talk,” he couldn’t help but remind softly. not to argue against you, but to ensure you knew exactly what you were implying. he knew the rush you were feeling, first podium. fresh off multiple highs, he didn’t want you to come crashing down tomorrow and regret these words tonight.
he didn’t know you’d already assessed all your options, weighed up the two cons. your mind had been made up, you just needed to bite the bullet.
you’d already been through it, called every name in the book. may as well make it all for something.
“let them.” you breathed out, a shy smile following suit, mischievous almost, quoting him from that night in vegas. you’d said it with confidence, such conviction he knew you meant it.
his smile was bright, practically beaming at you as he nodded. unsure what to do next, but he didn’t care. he liked the way things were looking.
he hadn’t expected you to kiss him, in the middle of the crowded floor, but god he wasn’t complaining ━ hands finding the small of your back as yours wrapped around his neck.
you’d pulled away shortly afterwards, not creating any distance as your foreheads touched.
“if you still want this of course,” you spoke; just above a whisper, realising you hadn’t really let him confirm he still wanted this.
he’d laughed, at the idea alone he didn’t. shaking his head at the thought as he brought his hand up to cup your face.
“all i could think about tonight, was that the only thing that would make today truely perfect, would be sharing it with you.” charles confessed; taking in the way you lit up at his words, watching as any last doubts or fears vanished from your frame.
you were relaxed, happy and carefree; not one bit of energy spent on anyone around you. who saw, who cared; it meant nothing to you.
you giggled as you pressed your lips to his again, passionately this time; charles leaning over you as he held your body close to his, smiling against your pink lips.
it felt incredibly cliche, as if you were the only two people on the yacht in the moment.
he’d murmured something about getting out of here only moments later, you being quick to agree.
patience was something you’d both demonstrated incredibly well over the last year; safe to say you both had none left to spare.
navigating the crowd hand in hand almost felt like a rush, relieving to not care as you followed him off the yacht; giddy like teenagers as you climbed into the back of a car.
he’d barely gotten his address out before you were on him again, lips pressed against his as you gripped his shirt.
charles hand tangled in your hair, revelling in the way your lips felt against his. he’d spent many nights recounting your night together; attempting to cling to the feeling and pleasure it brought. this was ten times better than what his imagination could produce.
the only time you kept your hands off him was the short walk from the car to the elevator of his apartment complex, the moment the doors slid shut you found yourself pressed against the wall ━ his hands gripping your hips and lips attacking your neck.
you became breathless quickly, satisfied hums escaping you; head tilting back to give him as much access as he wanted.
“have i ever told you how beautiful you are mon ange,” charles sighed against your skin; only lifting his head when he heard the doors ring open.
you smiled at him stupidly, taking in the sight. his pretty green eyes, slightly swollen lips and tussled hair. more beautiful than anything you’d ever seen before.
“come on,” you mused with a blush, urging him to head to his room; in quick pursuit.
you’d barley gotten your heels off once inside when charles was snaking his hands under your thighs, hoisting you up as your legs wrapped around his waist.
it didn’t feel really; finally able to have you like this.
“gonna make you feel so good,” charles murmured against your lips as he navigated his way through the apartment, hands squeezing your ass which granted a gasp from you. “deserve so much more than a quickie in the bathroom,” he commented.
while your first time together was more than satisfying, it was rushed. muffled moans and chasing release desperately with fear the moment could’ve been ruined in any moment.
tonight you were all his. no need to keep you quiet, no limit to the positions he could put you in.
he sat at the end of his bed; you not taking long to get comfortable in his lap as your lips moved roughly against his; hips grinding as you did so.
“you won,” you breathed out as you shifted your attention up his jaw, teeth catching his ear momentarily as you kissed at the skin of his neck. “let me make you feel good,” you whispered; charles head tilting back as he audibly groaned. “you deserve it,”
charles always loved praise, his ego thrived on it. but god, hearing it from you? his pants were feeling way too tight.
he couldn’t say no to you, not that’d he’d ever want too.
you didn’t give him any time to reply regardless, climbing off his lap and standing between his legs momentarily, hands holding onto his knees as you pressed one lingering kiss to his lips.
sinking to your knees, you were incredibly eager. a scenario you’d play out too many times as your hands got to work in freeing his cock.
charles lips parted as he rested back on his hands, head tilted downwards as he watched you intently ━ biting down on the inside of his cheek at the sight alone.
his breaths only got heavier as you spat in your hand and jacked him off a couple times, hissing as your thumb rolled over his tip.
the sight was better than you could imagine, as you took him in your mouth and watched his head fall back. his clenched jaw, neck muscles and arms flexing as he groaned.
it had your thighs clenching together, not wasting time in bobbing your head; taking as much of him as you could; hitting the back of your throat each time but it did little to deter you.
“putain,” charles grunted under his breath ━ forcing himself to tilt his head back down to watch you work, hand gathering your hair in a makeshift pony tail. and the way his lips curved into a smirk when your eyes met his had your thighs clenching once more.
“there you go pretty girl, taking me so well,” charles huffed ━ noting the way you gagged around him every now and then, yet showed no signs of slowing down. “mouth is fucking heaven,”
his praise only encouraged you further, doe eyes staring up at him through your lashes; tears welling in your eyes.
your hand was holding his thigh for support, watchinf as he busied himself momentarily by ridding himself of his shirt ━ revealing his toned torso flexing with each sharp breath he took.
“pull your dress down,” his words were direct, a clear demand and with him staring down at you like he was ready to ruin you, you didn’t need to be told twice. tugging your dress down to free your breasts.
his admiring eyes raked your body shamelessly, pleasure only increasing from the sight. you were fucking perfect, and he couldn’t believe this was real.
it was as if you caught on to the moment, reading him perfectly as your efforts picked up ━ keen to make him cum.
and by the way he was starting to tug on your hair, you knew he was close.
he came in your mouth moments later with little warning, and you were practically squirming in your place as you licked him clean.
“you’re perfect,” charles breathed after catching his breath, which happened incredibly quickly; signalling you to climb back into his lap.
you giggled as you did so, grinning as you pressed your lips to his once more; straddling him with ease as your hands spread across his toned chest ━ happy to touch him now that he was back in reach.
his hand moved up your leg, pushing your panties aside and cupping your cunt with little warning; causing you to moan into his mouth.
“you’re fucking soaked,” charles spoke, pulling back to watch your face contort in pleasure; watch as you became putty in his hold. “barely touched you yet baby,” he cooed ━ you couldn’t help but whine, hips bucking against his hand as he circled your clit.
he took in every feature on your pretty face, able to live in the moment and not be rushed like last time. make you feel everything he wanted you too.
“who would’ve guessed you were such a slut,” charles mused; practically toying with you. he couldn’t help himself, not when you looked so pretty panting and whimpering in his lap.
“for you.” you whimpered, hand gripping his bicep tightly as your hips moved against his hand; yearning for more.
he grinned widely at that, rewarding your words as a finger pushed past your folds unexpectedly.
“all for me.” charles hummed in agreement, words still slightly breathless himself as his other hand moved to cup the side of your face, making avoiding his eyes impossible. “all mine.”
the statement had your stomach flipping, words you could used to. something you’d know a long time, but hearing it out loud was so refreshing.
you were his. he was yours.
“please charles,” you whined out impatiently, his toying with your cunt felt good; but you need more, your thighs a painted mess along with his hand by now.
your plea had him hardening again, words sounding so alluring coming from your lips.
“what do you want mon amour?” charles spoke through a breath, eyes gazing over you as if you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen. because you were. “tell me, i’ll give it to you,” he promised; thumb grazing your cheek; such a delicate action that didn’t correlate with his thumb teasing your clit expertly.
you whimpered again, cheeks a tint of pink as your eyes fluttered shut momentarily, but they found charles gaze once more.
“all of you,” you spoke. “wanna feel you,” you sighed; his cock was pressing against your inner thigh ━ not helping with the urge to feel him inside you.
his lips curved upwards, pleased with your answer; and unable to deny himself any longer either. you’d both been through enough torture, he wouldn’t be delaying this any longer.
“want me to fuck you yeah?” charles paraphrased for you, hand leaving your cunt to find your waist; lifting you off his lap with ease and laying you beside him.
he was hovering over you within seconds, leaving you to nod eagerly below him. your hands found the hem of your dress, tugging it up and over your head as if that would help entice him.
but he didn’t need any help; he doesn’t think he’d last another second without being inside you.
he slid inside you without another word, your gasps intertwining as your own head fell back against his pillow; eyes fluttering shut at the stretch.
he gave you a moment to adjust, his head falling into the crook of your neck; light kisses peppered on your skin, a contrast to the way he was about to fuck you.
your hands tugging on his hair told him you wanted more; thrusting into you slowly and deeply at first, your mouth fell agape at the angle it hit ━ moans beginning to fall from your lips.
“charles, fuck,” you mumbled ━ fingers moving down his back, sure to leave marks as he gradually picked up the pace.
his thrusts got quicker, but not softer; fucking you into the mattress, all you could do was whimper and moan ━ eyes rolling back at the pleasuring sensation.
“so perfect for me,” charles grunted; the way you were squeezing him was better than he remembered, keeping his focus on your own pleasure because if not, he’d probably cum within moments.
“oh my god,” you all but practically squealed when he moved your leg over his shoulder, feeling as if he was splitting you open; you bit down on your lip to try shut up the now constant sounds.
charles wasn’t having a bar of it however.
“ah, ah,” charles breathed; hand moving to tap your cheek. “wanna hear you gorgeous girl. every fucking sound,” charles told you; eyes pouring into yours which made it clear he wasn’t joking.
you nodded weakly, on cue charles delivering a harsher thrust that had you choking out a moan once more.
it didn’t take long, for you to get brought to the edge; stomach growing tight as your eyes rolled back once more. cumming without warning, unable to process the pleasure you were feeling.
a moment of weakness for charles, watching as you shook beneath him and screamed his name; squeezing him suddenly, he almost came too. he didn’t though thankfully, because his focus was still you.
you weren’t prepared for him to not relent, instead feeling his hand snake between your bodies and find your clit, eyes flying open.
“o-oh,” you gasped, the onslaught of pleasure hard to cope with as your hands gripped onto his back tightly, nails digging into his skin as he smirked down at you.
“take it baby,” charles grunted; eyebrows raising momentarily. “too much?” his question was teasing, and he couldn’t help the breathy chuckle when you shook your head; scared he’d stop. you didn’t want him to stop.
you weren’t sure you could take it, but you were going to try. you’d do anything for him when he was touching you like this.
“so good,” you moaned; tears welling in your eyes quickly from the overstimulation, body jolting with every thrust which hadn’t relented.
his stamina impressive, having not slowed down nor gotten sloppy as he pounded into you.
you were struggling to keep your eyes open now, lost in the pleasure. but charles wanted to watch you, and wanted you to watch him as you pushed you over the edge once more.
“look at me baby,” charles grunted; pinching your clit lightly which had your eyes flying open, meeting his. “gonna watch me as you cum again yeah?” charles told you, his own breaths heavier now as he struggled to not let himself revel in the feeling of you.
you nodded, again, like a broken record; all your effort focused on watching him as your face contorted in pleasure. maybe even a tear or two fell, the familiar feeling washing over you again suddenly as he delivered another harsh thrust. and another. and suddenly it was as if he found new energy somewhere.
you all but screamed his name as you came again suddenly, coming undone on his cock. he was close behind, unable to resist with the way your walls squeezed him again.
your heavy breaths filled the room as charles helped you both ride out your highs, before sliding out of you, he remained above you regardless.
he was looking at you in awe, hand pushing some of your hair away that had gotten stuck to your forehead, earning a lazy smile from you in return.
“i could get used to that,” your words broke the silence; eyes flickering to his lips which gave charles the hint to place a kiss on your lips, a delicate one unlike those shared earlier.
he’d chuckled at your words afterwards, humming in agreement as his hand ran up and down your side comfortingly.
“me too,” charles agreed with a grin; pressing yet another kiss to your lips, a longer one this time; passionate and slow. enjoying the moment. the peace of it all.
when you pulled away moments later, you practically beamed as you urged him off of you; moving to straddle him instead.
you had a lot of time to make up for.
━━━━━
a/n: oh she’s bACK BACK CHARLES FIC YAY
hope u liked, still rusty lol i don’t rlly like the smut but i did enjoy writing the angst hehe
unedited sorry i’ll get to that later like usual oOps
as always feedback is always greatly encouraged and appreciated, means the world to me so pls share ur thoughts 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
luv u all !!!!!!!
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kkami-writes · 9 months
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that hufflepuff boy
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pairing. hufflepuff!felix x slytherin!fem!reader ft! hufflepuff!bangchan, slytherin!seungmin, ravenclaw!hyunjin synopsis. The moment you stepped into the halls of Hogwarts your classmates had deemed you as the princess of slytherin, a title you learned to hate. If only they knew that the cold, seemingly proper girl was absolutely head over heels for Hufflepuff's resident sunshine boy, Lee Felix. tags/cw. hogwarts!au, fluff, maybe some angst if you squint, lots and lots of mutual pining, acquaintances to lovers, side seungjin, smut, slight corruption, public sex (library), virgin!felix, oral (m + f receiving), vaginal fingering, pet names (princess, love), unprotected sex (don't do it), swallowing of cum
disclaimer!!! both felix and reader are 18+, consenting adults at the time of smut. word count. 5k (5,155)
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The first time you had met Felix is during third year, on a random spring morning as the two of you were paired up during potions. It had been a rough first three years for you as the nickname of Slytherin’s princess had been pushed upon you solely based on your parents' old-fashioned views. Even in this more progressive time, there were still a fair amount of pure-blood purists despite it being an unpopular stance after the second wizarding war.
Still, people had assumed you had thought the same as your parents and being sorted into slytherin hadn’t helped your case. Reluctantly, you instead fell into your role as the prim and proper princess they thought you were - no one had ever bothered to even ask if you could think for yourself or had your own opinions. Although you did have a few actual friends, the isolation you had felt from your peers had made you slightly bitter. 
So when you’re paired up with a random hufflepuff who gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, one that could easily rival the sun - you’re a little starstruck. You don’t think anyone has ever looked at you like this and it easily makes your cheeks darken. He treats you like a normal person, as if you were already friends and it’s…refreshing to say the least. The last person you got partnered up with had sat as far away from you as they could and didn’t talk unless absolutely necessary. 
You’re surprised that you work well with the boy, him making small conversation and keeping you engaged in the potion work. Felix is nice, almost too nice, and you’re sure he’s like this with everyone but you still feel a surge of happiness when he laughs at one of your small jabs. You can’t help but think the sound is just as sweet as him. 
As class ends, you’re packing up your books and Felix waves goodbye to you with that pretty smile on display. 
“Bye! I hope we can talk again!” Then he’s gone and you’re left sitting there a little dazed as you stare at his retreating figure, something stirring in your chest that you’re not 100% sure of, but you do know one thing. 
And it’s that Felix is made up of sugar, everything nice and sun kissed freckles, and you’re pretty sure you’re fucked.
By fifth year you had fully recognized that the flowers blooming your chest was pure adoration for the hufflepuff. You had been sitting in the library with Seungmin, who was busy with his nose in a book and blatantly ignoring your obvious heart eyes towards a certain boy who sat not too far away at his own table; him and his quidditch captain Chan were probably going over some strategies for the upcoming game this weekend. Hyunjin was on your left, the ravenclaw busy with another one of his drawings he often did. 
You let out a small dreamy sigh, one that was barely audible but it was enough to have your fellow slytherin rolling his eyes and closing his book.  “Are you for real? You look so pathetic…how long have you been pining over that hufflepuff for?” He groans, throwing his head back. 
“Aw, I think it’s kinda cute,” Hyunjin chimes in, not looking up from his drawing.
“That’s because you’re a hopeless romantic,”
“Ok mister I read romance novels,” At this Seungmin’s ears tinge red and you think he might throw his book at the male. They thought you were annoying with your crush? They should look at themselves. With Seungmin thinking he was slick with his hidden gazes towards the ravenclaw or the many sketches Hyunjin had of the slytherin. 
“Can you two shut up? I’m busy pining over here,” They both roll their eyes at you now. 
“Honestly? I’m surprised he’s your type. I thought someone like Minho hyung was your type,”
“It’s because Felix is the only one willing to give yn any time of the day,” You swat at Hyunjin for that and he simply clutches his arm dramatically, whining your name. 
As you play fight with your friends (was it really playing though? The three of you were probably gonna get kicked out of the library soon), it goes unnoticed by you that someone else had been staring a little too long over at your table, his eyes sparkling as he watched you interact with the two who were usually never seen without you. He’s pulled from his thoughts as his own best friend and quidditch captain Chan nudged him from his tiny daydream. 
“You good mate? You've been staring at her for a while. We are supposed to be going over strategies,” He teases lightly as he watches Felix’s ears turn a little red. 
“Um, right. Sorry! I’ll focus, I promise,” Chan laughs, his signature dimples showing as he ruffles up the blonde’s hair.
“It’s fine, I should probably go study for my n.e.w.t.s anyway and we have practice tomorrow so we can go over more stuff,” Felix nods, agreeing with him before his gaze is once again glancing over towards you and it looks like you’re about to strangle Seungmin, while Hyunjin holds you back by your robes with a bored look on his face. He can’t help but laugh at your guy’s ministrations - he loved that you had slowly come out of your shell since third year and had found some good friends.
Well, at least he hoped they were just friends. He wouldn’t go as far to say the two of you were friends either, just acquaintances, mostly talking to each other in the halls when you passed by or occasionally partnering up during class. But Felix still did not have the guts to ask you out on a date, the fear of rejection controlling him. Chan is nudging him again and he’s pulled out of yet another daydream.
“Damn, you’ve got it bad huh? You’ve barely even talked to her for the last two years,” “Hey, that’s not true!! I say hi to her everytime I see her in the hall!”
“Uh huh. Why are you so interested in her anyway? Aren’t her parents blood-purists? I don’t think they’d approve of a muggleborn, no offense. And she is called the slytherin princess for a reason,” 
“Yeah but she’s not like that,” Felix is quick to defend you, not that he really thought Chan believed in those kinds of rumors - he was just curious about his crush.
“How do you know?” “Just- okay in third year, I remember everyone telling me to beware of the ‘slytherin princess’” he makes quotations with his fingers. “That she was cold and mean and definitely would not be nice to a muggleborn like me. But then we got partnered together during potions and she was really nice? And funny? I just thought you know, that she couldn’t be that bad. Plus! Seungmin and Hyunjin are both half-bloods, and they’re like her best friends. When we talk, just the two of us, she’s kinda shy to be honest. It’s cute and all but, when I see her like that,” Felix points to you, who is laughing hard at a joke Seungmin had said, both you and Hyunjin holding onto each other as you wheeze. The librarian shushes you loudly and gives the three of you yet another warning, only one away from getting kicked out. “When she’s alone with her friends she blossoms into this really bubbly and bright personality and I just - I want to be able to bring out that side of her when she’s with me. I wanna be able to get to know her more…you know…maybe ask her on a date,” He flushes at that and Chan lets out a low whistle that gets his own little hush from the librarian.
“Yeah, you are down atrocious my man. I think it’s time to put on your big boy pants. You should ask her out, after the hufflepuff vs slytherin game. After we win you can ask if she wants to go celebrate,” 
“Oh..that might be a good idea. She always comes to the games for Seungmin. But wait, what if we lose?” 
(Felix will later find out that you had only ever attended the Hufflepuff vs Slytherin games just so you could watch him, something Seungmin always complained and pouted about.  “I’M your best friend! You should be watching for me!! Not that stupid pretty Hufflepuff,” “So you admit he’s pretty?”
“I fucking hate you,” ) “Then you ask her if she’ll take you on a date so you can get over this horrific loss we have faced,”
“That…makes me sound like a loser,” Chan just shrugs. 
“Listen, if it gets you a date who cares,”
“Ok, yeah. You’re right. First, we’re gonna stomp Slytherin into the ground. And then- I’m gonna ask her out,”
Felix did not in fact put on his big boy pants on. While they had in fact won the game, he had frozen when you hopped over to him, a pretty smile on your face as you congratulated him on the win. His mind blanked, head empty as he just stared at how pretty you looked and how he wished he could give you his Hufflepuff scarf for you to wear. He wanted you to cheer for him during his quidditch games. He thinks you’d look breathtaking in yellow. 
But instead he said a quick ‘thanks!’ before running away, face completely red and leaving you behind with a small disappointed look on your face.
By seventh year, you were no closer to being over your infatuation with the pretty freckled Hufflepuff. Even though you had dated other people here and there, no one could compare to the way your heart reacted whenever you talked to Felix briefly in the halls. 
Still, you had slightly given up hope that the boy would reciprocate your feelings. Afterall, he had shown no signs of being into you - despite what Seungmin and Hyunjin had told you. You were still scared of rejection, that he wouldn’t be interested in a Slytherin like yourself, much less one still dubbed the princess of snakes. 
Yet Felix continued to treat you the same as always, greeting you in the hallways with that sweet smile of his and it never failed to put butterflies in your stomach. 
So when you’re paired up for a project in potions again, you can’t help the excitement that builds in your chest. It’s a more extensive project, requiring you to brew a particularly complex potion, needing to do research in the restricted section as well as write an essay. 
“Hey!” Felix greets you with that devastating smile and you pretend you’re not melting on the inside. His voice had gotten so deep and that blasted australian accent was constantly trying to make your knees buckle when you heard it. You can see Seungmin in your peripheral vision, pretending to gag over how pathetic you look face to face with your crush. Subtly you flip him off and you can hear his infectious laugh as he walks out of the classroom, probably off to find Hyunjin.
“Hi Felix,” 
“So, when are you free to work on the project?” “Honestly whenever you’re free, I know practice must keep you busy captain,” At the title his cheeks flush involuntarily, scratching his cheek shyly. Oh what you wouldn’t give to kiss his beautiful freckled cheeks.
“Yeah well, Seungmin has been keeping us on our toes. He’s always been good at strategy and as captain he’s really proved himself. But besides practice I'm pretty free too. We have practice on Wednesdays and Fridays. So we could do the project this weekend? If you want of course, we could pick another day if you want,” 
“Nope, this weekend sounds perfect,”
“Great, wanna meet at the library at one?” 
You nod and he gives you a small smile before bidding you goodbye. And that’s how you end up with a study date with one Lee Felix. (Neither of you had said the word date but you could dream and live in your delusions for a while. At least before Seungmin pulls you back down from the clouds.) 
Saturday comes much faster than you expect and you take almost half the morning preparing yourself - perhaps taking a little extra time on your makeup and hair. Of course you make sure not to go too overboard, just accentuating your features a little more, wanting to impress the way too pretty Hufflepuff. 
Even though you show up to the library ten minutes early, you’re surprised to find Felix already there with a book open and taking notes. When he looks up to see you his expression brightens up significantly, waving you over quickly. He’s rendered you speechless with a simple look and you can feel those annoying butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 
“Sorry did I keep you waiting? I thought I was early,” You say as you take a seat next to him, pulling out your own notes and potion textbook.
“Oh no, don’t worry. I uh- got here early to get us a spot next to the restricted section,” Your head nods in understanding as you bite back a laugh, the library practically empty due to it being a Saturday. 
After some brief small talk, the two of you get into researching the potion, taking extensive notes on how to properly brew the concoction without causing your cauldron to explode. It was a tricky potion, requiring absolute perfection in order to work. 
Somehow during your silent period of individual research, Felix had managed to scoot as close to you as possible, thighs pressed together and you thought your heart might leap out of your chest. You can smell the hint of his floral cologne and the urge to bury your face into the crook of his neck is overwhelming. 
The two of you stay like that for a while before you close your textbook, stretching out your arms and flexing your hands from writing too much. 
“Shall we check out the restricted section? I think i’ve read all that I can in our textbook,” 
“Yeah, same! This potion is gonna be a pain in the ass,”
“Tell me about it. I’m not exactly looking forward to actually brewing it,”
“Can’t be that bad, I’ll get to do it with you,” And there it is, those damn butterflies making another appearance. You flush before clearing your throat, moving towards the restricted section, having already gotten permission from your teacher and the librarian. Felix can’t help but find the blush on your cheeks beautiful.
The two of you moved to start to browse the new section, looking for specifics on the ingredients needed for the more intense potion that you would have to brew. Your eyes skim through the shelves, noting some of the more interesting books that you might have to take a closer look at later, specifically a fun book on jinxes that you could probably use against Seungmin who was always trying to create new spells to tease you with. And on the rare occasion the two of you would team up to bully Hyunjin instead, especially when he was bragging about acing a test he didn’t even bother studying for. It would have to wait for now as you spotted an old potioneering book that looked promising on the top shelf. Reaching for it, you cursed at how short you were - even standing on your tiptoes didn’t help as you extended your fingers as much as you could. 
Suddenly you can feel a firm chest pressed to your back and a hand resting on your hip, another hand coming to grab the book you were trying to get. Your heart thumps against your ribcage at the close proximity of Felix, trying not to think about how his body feels as its pressed flush against your back or the grip on your hips as he steadies you. Slowly you turn around in his grasp, blinking up at him as he practically has you up against the bookcase, caging you in. Felix is also looking at you, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face and the potion book in his hand.   It feels like you’ve been standing there forever, both of you just getting lost in each other's eyes and you wonder how many constellations you could draw against his freckles. The way you want to count just how many he has or if he had more in other places as well. Your eyes widen when the hand that was resting on your hip is suddenly moving up to cup your cheek and you wonder if he can see the way you flush under the dim lighting of the library. 
“Can I kiss you?” The deep timbre of his voice never fails to send shivers down your spine or heat into your stomach. You nod even though you really wanna say ‘hell yes’, you manage to hold back and not embarrass yourself, especially now when he’s asked something you’ve wanted to do since third year. 
His lips feel plush against your own, and you vaguely wonder if this was real. If Lee Felix was really here, kissing you sweet and softly like you were the most precious and delicate object in his hands. It’s a short simple kiss and you almost go to chase his lips when he pulls back, but you don’t have to worry as he doesn’t keep you waiting too long. He drops the book to be forgotten, as he brings his other hand to fully frame your face and kisses you square on the mouth. Your head tilts as he deepens the kiss, lips molding perfectly together. 
His tongue is swiping along the seam of your lips, asking for permission which you happily grant, tiers parting for him so he can lick at your own wet muscle. You can’t help the blissful sigh that falls from your lips and Felix all but eagerly swallows the noise, his pink tongue exploring every inch of you that he can. He has you fully pressed against the bookshelf now, your bodies slotted together, as if two puzzle pieces had been connected and you can start to feel something hard being pressed against your hips.
You can barely even focus on that with how dizzy the kiss is making you feel (though it’s possible it’s the lack of air as you’ve basically forgotten how to breathe). Teasingly you nip at his lower lip, sucking it into your mouth and he all but lets out a deep groan that makes you wetter than you’d like to admit. Eventually you both part for air, the two of you practically panting, lips slick with each other. You’re licking at your swollen lips, still able to taste him on your tongue as a thought pops into your head. You move to place your hands on Felix’s hips, maneuvering him so you’re the one who has him pressed against the bookshelf. He tilts his head and looks at you inquisitively, and you can’t help but coo at how cute he looks, especially with slightly reddened cheeks and completely kiss bitten lips. 
It’s only when you move down to your knees does he understand what you’re doing, him scrambling to try to pull you back up but you don’t budge. 
“A-ah! W-wait. What are you do-” He falters as he watches you glance up at him through your lashes, sweet innocent eyes looking up at him. Just the sight of you like this, looking so pretty on your knees for him makes his dick twitch in his pants, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. 
You place your hands on his thighs, running them up until your fingers are playing with the zipper of his trousers and he watches as your tongue darts out to dampen your already slick lips. “Is this ok?” You question simply, watching as Felix’s resolve crumbles, nodding his head. 
With permission you’re quick to undo his pants, only pulling them down to expose his already hard cock. His dick is somehow pretty, yet it doesn’t surprise you - everything about the boy was just so pretty. You lean in to press small teasing kisses to his length, keeping eye contact with the Hufflepuff. Felix doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you, so entranced by you. As much as you’d love to tease him, to build him up until he was begging for you - the two of you weren’t exactly in a private space, so you’d have to do it another time (god you hoped there would be another time). You part your lips to take the head into your mouth and it has Felix gasping already, his head falling back against the bookcase and his hands finding purchase in your hair. You hollow your cheeks as you suck softly, his natural musky scent was mixing with the floral cologne he had put on and it was all so heady, making you slightly lightheaded. 
He’s completely lost in the way your mouth feels against his hard length, warm and wet, and he’s scared to finish too fast like some virgin (even though that’s exactly what he was). Yet he can’t stop you, blunt nails grasping at your silky locks as you blow him, eliciting a moan from you that vibrates against his cock. His bottom lip is between his teeth in an attempt to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping. 
Except when you’ve got his whole cock down your throat, choking on it slightly has a deep moan slipping from his lips. He’s looking down at you through half-lidded eyes, pupils blown and hazy with lust, the sight of you with your mouth absolutely stuffed with his cock has him twitching in your mouth. You can taste his salty precum in the back of your throat, desperate to see what his release will taste like. 
“Ah…fuck. Princess you look so pretty like this…’m gonna cum,” He grunts softly and he can’t help the small buck of his hips into your mouth.
You definitely weren’t expecting the nickname, but you found yourself liking it MUCH more when it was coming from Felix. You open your mouth with your tongue lolling out when he tells you he’s close, blinking up at him and he gets the message. He releases your hair to bring his hand to his cock, stroking it once, twice - before he’s coming thick ropes into your mouth. You patiently wait for him to finish before you’re swallowing his load and you definitely don’t miss the way he groans just from watching you do that. A giggle falls from your lips as you come to stand up and he’s quick to kiss you again, moaning from tasting himself against your swollen tiers. 
He’s tucking himself back into his pants but not bothering to redo his pants before he’s once again moving you so he can press you against the bookshelf. It’s your turn to tilt your head in questioning as he moves to kneel down, hands running up your upper thighs until they’re disappearing under your skirt. He loops his fingers into your panties as he looks up at you.
“Can I?” He asks and his eyes are still dark with arousal, completely gone at this point. You nod far too eagerly and he chuckles deeply at how excited you look, slowly dragging your (damp) underwear down, having you step out of them. He slips them into his back pocket with a smirk. 
“You’re not getting these back,” 
Your mouth is wide with his bold words, wondering where the shy Felix has gone. You don’t really have much time to think more about it before he’s diving under your skirt and attaching his mouth to your wet cunt, a hand coming up to your mouth to muffle the sound that leaves your lips involuntarily. He laps at your core, moaning against you at your taste and the vibrations only aid in your pleasure. You can’t even see him with your skirt completely covering him but you can’t find it in you to even care, the way his tongue is flicking at your clit has you whimpering. His hands are gripping at your hips tightly and you hope that he leaves a mark, a memory of this moment you shared with him.
He has you all but clenching around nothing as his lips suck on your sensitive bud and your back is arching off the bookshelf and your head is thrown back. Soft moans spill from your lips and the sounds go straight to his dick, feeling himself hardening again in his pants. It doesn’t matter though as his focus is on you and he so badly wants you to cum against his tongue. Felix easily slips two fingers into your heat with how slick you are and you let out a soft sigh at the sensation. He’s a little clumsy with them but you’re too far gone to really care, feeling your thighs start to shake and that familiar pressure building in your lower stomach. 
“Lix- Lixie. I’m close,” You manage to mumble out, not knowing how much longer you are gonna last, especially with how his skillful tongue continues to work you to your high. With your words he’s once again latching onto your clit with his lips, sucking eagerly and his fingers pushing into you faster. He hums against your core and you’re gone, your rather loud moan muffled by your hand as you’re coming against his face. Felix doesn’t stop lapping at your pussy until you have to push him away, feeling sensitivity starting to build. 
When he comes back up he has to hold you up, your legs shaking slightly in the aftermath of your orgasm. He’s quick to have his lips on yours again and you can taste yourself against his tongue. He can tell he’s going to quickly become absolutely addicted to kissing you, your lips so soft against his own. Felix is pressing against you and you can feel that he’s hard again, so you reluctantly pull away to call out to him. 
“Felix,” You start, suddenly feeling shy even though you literally just had his dick in your mouth. 
“Yes love?” It really feels like he’s trying to kill you with these nicknames but you push through, letting your hips rock against his and he’s biting at his lip hard to stop himself from moaning. 
“I want you. So bad. . .need you inside me,” 
He seems a little hesitant but he can’t deny the way his dick twitches just at the thought of being buried inside you. How warm and tight you’d feel against his length.
“Are- Are you sure?” You nod. You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.
“Yes. I-If it’s okay with you,” Still you stress this point, not wanting to pressure him but you’d be lying if you weren’t still absolutely soaked for the boy in front of you. 
“How can I say no to you?” He hums, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before slowly turning you around to have you bent forward slightly. You grab onto the bookshelf to ground yourself, biting at your bottom lip as you feel him grinding his clothed cock against your core. You’re about to open your mouth to beg him to stop teasing you but then you feel his tip pressing against your entrance and all thoughts are flying out of your head. Felix is gripping you tightly by the waist and slowly, almost agonizingly slowly he pushes in. You can feel every single inch until he’s completely sheathed in your warmth and the groan he lets out fills your belly with straight heat.
“F-fuck. So good, you feel so good princess,” He groans, his breath heavy as he shakily pulls out just enough so he can easily slide back in, setting a slightly uneven pace but it feels so good that you don’t even care. All you can think about is Felix, the way his hands feel against your skin, how sweet he sounds as he murmurs praises against your ear, the way his cock fills you so nicely - your head is so blissfully empty besides the Hufflepuff and you love it. He angles himself upwards, finding your sweet spot so easily and you clench around him the moment he hits it.
His hips rock languidly into you as he flips your skirt up so he can see the way his cock disappears into your soaked cunt. Felix is so entranced at the way your arousal clings to his length, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping down your thighs and it makes it so much easier to thrust into you. He knows he’s not gonna last very long so he grabs you to pull you flush against his chest, holding you to him as a hand wraps to your front, two fingers rubbing at your clit.
“Lix! Oh- Oh…’m close,” You mumble out, gasping as he holds you against his body, your hips trying to meet his thrusts. 
“Yeah? Gonna cum princess? Need you to cum all over my cock. Can you do that love?” He hums into your ear and his voice has you absolutely gone, Felix purposely making it just a little bit deeper. The way his cock is pressing against your gummy g-spot has you seeing stars. 
It doesn’t take long until you’re shuddering and coming, your walls spasming around Felix which has him reaching his own orgasm - spilling into you with his warm seed. Both of you are panting hard with you holding onto the bookshelf as if it was your last lifeline, practically the only thing keeping you up with how shaky your knees are. 
When he pulls out you whine a little, feeling his cum leaking down your thighs. He watches for a second, seeing his own release dripping from your pussy has a surge of pride filling his chest. After a second he pulls out his wand, muttering a quick spell that cleans you up, thankful that charms had been his best class. You need a bit longer to collect yourself, your head slightly fuzzy from two orgasms. 
Felix is busy looking you over, making sure your uniform is neat and smoothing your hair down. It’s all sweet and lowkey domestic, making your heart swell at the Hufflepuff in front of you. He smiles that smile you love and it baffles you how this boy could go from fucking you in the restricted section of the library to this innocent looking sunshine. 
He’s coming to cup your face again, leaving a few kisses against your cheeks before kissing your lips.
“So like…I know this is backwards but uh- do you like? Maybe wanna go on a date sometime? And be my girlfriend?”
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kpopfanfictrash · 8 months
Text
Elemental (M) Pt. 1
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Author: kpopfanfictrash
Genre: Second Chance Romance / Modern Fantasy
Pairing: Jungkook / Reader (she/her)
Synopsis: Fear has never been a foreign concept to you. Your entire life has been shaped by the knowledge that you’re different, and fear of the stigma which might follow discovery. Although fire, earth, air and water Elementals have been public for decades, the fear-mongering around your kind hasn’t changed; something you have intimate knowledge of, having experienced it firsthand. Since then, you’ve done your best to hide your water powers. This is for your own safety, as your mom likes to say.
Safety flies out the window though, when you fall in love. Jeon Jungkook isn’t just any love, either, he’s the love. The person who makes you feel as though your darkest corners deserve to be seen. Unable to control your magic around him, you find yourself faced with a horrible fact: you need to break up.
A plan which proves difficult when Jungkook simply refuses to go. And maybe, just maybe, you find the constraints placed on yourself don’t make sense anymore.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: death of a parent (past), some emotional abuse
NSFW Warnings: oral (woman and man), multiple orgasms (woman), fingering, hand job, face-riding, sex outdoors (in a secluded, private area), very slight ass-play, breast play
Word Count: 17,287 (32,487 total)
Author's Note: Unfortunately, the new Tumblr text editor doesn't allow for more than 1,000 paragraphs per post. Part I is here, and Part II will be uploaded shortly. Please, please, please reblog both if possible! In my experience, engagement tends to be worse when split into two parts. (also, if you haven't already realized based on the premise, Y/N does break up with Jungkook in the first part of this fic lol so, if that's something you don't want to read; fair warning!)
[ Cross-posted to Wattpad here ]
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Magic, to you, has never been a boon.
Despite its romanticization in movies and stories, the reality of magic is messy and unpredictable. As dangerous as it can be fickle, your mom likes to say. Usually followed by a glance in your direction, swift enough for you not to notice, although you always do.
Either that, or an unconscious tilt her chin towards the photograph on the mantle. You aren’t sure she even realizes she does it, acting on instinct alone. The photo is of your dad, holding you on his shoulders with an ear-to-ear grin. He was the other Elemental in your family.
Even with only one magical parent, the Elemental gene tends to be passed on to children. Your dad’s magic was water, skilled in manipulating and calling forth the element. He was lauded for it, which was in itself unusual. More often, Elementals are run out of town by other humans. Although time has gone by since societal integration, there are still many who view your kind with suspicion.
You can’t say that you blame them – not really. Because again, the reality of magic is it can be dangerous. Based on experience, bad things tend to happen when you lose control.
Head tilted, you squint through the fog at your boyfriend’s apartment. For centuries, fog has been heralded as an ill omen and maybe there’s some degree of truth to it. Maybe the first speaker lived near a temperamental water Elemental, unable to keep their emotions from manipulating the weather.
Thoughts souring at how close to reality this feels, you shake your head once and some of the fog clears.
A pep talk, you think. That’s what you need to convince yourself to enter. Unseasonably chilly this late in the summer, your fingers curl into the ends of your sweater. Going inside would be preferrable to standing out in the cold, and yet you can’t manage a single step.
Better to stand in the cold than enter and shatter.
Again, you remind yourself you’re doing the right thing and again, this doesn’t help. If anything, it makes you clutch your sweater tighter. For once, you wish doing the right thing meant what’s right for you. Exhaling deeply, your eyes shut as a train passes and shakes the ground.
You began dating Jungkook three months ago and within a week, you knew it was different. You have a tendency to hide pieces of yourself, knowing most people won’t like what they find. Jungkook never allowed that to happen. The first time you ghosted, he showed up at your favorite coffee shop the next morning and asked what had gone wrong. Taken aback, you responded honestly and to your surprise, Jungkook listened.
He stayed. Stayed when others had run, cementing himself on a short list of people you can trust. Three months into dating, things have moved at once fast and slow. Fast because typically, you exit relationships long before feelings like these ones develop. Slow, because you haven’t given Jungkook every part of yourself.
Physical intimacy comes to mind. On several occasions, this has proved… difficult.
Eyes opening, you stare at the door. Memories of last night rise to the surface. For a long time, you’ve known this relationship has an end date. Knowing this doesn’t prepare you for the difficult conversation ahead.
The last time you saw Jungkook was after midnight. Fat raindrops chased your footsteps while you ran from his place, descending the subway at a record pace. The look on his face remains stuck in your mind and even now, you find the thought hard to revisit.
Imagining hurting Jungkook again is unfathomable. Stifling a gasp, you spin on your heel and march away. Halfway to the gate, you get a grip on yourself. Coming to a stop, you remind yourself this isn’t about you. Jungkook will hate you – there’s nothing to do about that now. Now, this is about Jungkook and ensuring he’s safe.
Slowly, you turn around and make your way forward. In the name of procrastination, you stop at a trash can to clean out your purse. Old receipts, gum wrappers and a crumpled-up napkin shake into the bin. You pause at the napkin, staring at the embossed name of the restaurant you work at. Or – more accurately – worked at.
Slamming the trash lid, you turn. You began work at Pierre’s Bistro two months ago as a temporary measure. Ideally, you paint but lately, inspiration has run dry. Waiting tables pays the bills, leaving time at the end of the day to stare at a blank canvas.
Pierre’s is an upscale French restaurant a few blocks down with semi-decent food and waiting tables would be fine if the owner – Pierre – weren’t a massive asshole. Now that you don’t work there, you can be honest about that. Pierre was the most sexist, elitist, capitalistic piece of shit you’ve ever had the displeasure of working for. While on his payroll, you tried to make the best of it but now, you have nothing to lose. Pierre was a dick.
A point he proved yet again last night, much to your mortification. You prefer working the lunch shift to dinner, and weekdays to weekends. Saturday nights are worst of all, and last night Pierre didn’t arrive until well after six. You were forced to cover the entire front section, picking up for a co-worker who called in sick.
Rushing from the bar, you nearly crashed into your boss removing his coat. Grabbing you by the elbow, Pierre steadied you, his hand lingering.
“Whoa, where’s the fire?” he joked.
You forced a smile. Experience has taught you the best thing to do in those types of situations is to smile and laugh.
“No fire. Lots of customers! Excuse me,” you said and tried to move past.
Pierre didn’t release you. If anything, his grip on you tightened until you turned your head.
“Yes?” you said, impatient.
Pierre didn’t respond, looking you slowly up and down. Eventually, he released you to take a step backwards. “Nothing,” he said carefully. “Be careful out there tonight.”
Trying not to gag on his words, you moved on. Unfortunately, it was hard to escape Pierre’s notice once caught. From that point on, each of your flaws were held under a microscope. First, it was that you didn’t fold the napkins correctly. Next, you took a wandering path from kitchen to table. Each time you entered the dining room, scornful words were covered by simpering smiles.
By the time your shift end approached, you could barely keep going. A large group had entered and, seeing the host occupied, you took it upon yourself to seat them at your last table. Fixing your apron, you hurried through the restaurant and into the kitchen.
Grabbing another table’s dishes, you thanked the cook and pushed open the door. Immediately, arms shoved you back in. Startled, you barely had time to recognize the host, Vanessa, before the doors swung shut.
“Vanessa?” you said, adjusting your grip. “What’s going on?”
Harried, she glanced over one shoulder. “Sorry,” she sighed, curly hair slipping from her messy bun. “I wanted to warn you before you went back out. Pierre is pissed.”
Your stomach sank. “Pissed… at me?”
She nodded, another dark curl escaping. “Something about saving the table up front for his friends? Bullshit, yes,” she said at your expression. “But you know how he is.”
“Yeah, I know,” you muttered. Deciding there was nothing to be done but keep moving, you hefted your plates higher. “Okay, thanks for the warning. I need to get these to table ten.”
“No problem,” she said and stepped out of your way.
You walked inside with slightly less spring in your step. Pierre lounged near the bar, surrounded by a group of people you could only assume to be friends. Although you felt his gaze on your face, you avoided him the best you could while you made your rounds. Taking the long way to the kitchen, you passed in front of the window.
Which was the moment you noticed Jungkook waiting for you on the curb. He stood beneath a streetlight, light pooling around the ends of his dark hair. When he saw you approach, his face lit up and he smiled.
Cursing beneath your breath, you smiled back. You were supposed to be done a half-hour ago, but there hadn’t been a good time yet to stop. Waving back, you mouthed, just a minute, and frantically pushed through the crowd to the back.
Merely seeing his face lifted a weight from your chest. It was easy to be around Jungkook because he liked every part of you. You never felt the urge to pretend, to curve yourself into something someone else would find pleasurable.
Well, he liked every part except one – and you were working on telling him that.
Hurrying into the staff room, you forgot your plan to avoid Pierre. You nearly jumped a mile when a hand grabbed your elbow, spinning you to face your fuming manager.
Pierre stared down his nose. “Follow me,” he snapped, releasing your arm to spin around.
He passed tables full of patrons, leading you to the bar before turning. “Y/N,” Pierre said, his voice dropping. “Are things okay tonight?”
“Yes,” you responded, deciding one-word answers were safest.
“Then why, exactly, are you fucking this up?”
Your jaw tensed. “I wasn’t aware I was doing so,” you said carefully.
“The napkins?” Pierre made a tsk-ing sound. “How many times should I say that presentation is important? Not to mention your laziness. One of your tables had to flag me down to ask for a refill. And now, you gave away the front table.” His expression darkened. “What makes you think you, a fucking waitress, can step in for a host? You sat someone at the table I personally reserved for my friends!”
You shouldn’t have responded. You should have stayed quiet and yet –
“There was no name in the book,” you muttered.
“What’s that?” Pierre waited and, when you stayed silent, shook his head. “I hadn’t had time to write their name down, but I told Vanessa, who assured me it’d happen. Of course, she wasn’t taking into consideration Y/N, the wonder waitress! Taking everyone’s jobs and making them harder.”
At your sides, your hands balled into fists. It took a greater amount of concentration than normal to keep your emotions from spilling over.
Of course, there were explanations for Pierre’s accusations. The napkins were correct before he jostled the table. You had been circulating your tables and if you were unavailable, it was because of his poor staffing. Oh, and – he didn’t make a reservation for his friends.
Slowly, you exhaled and stuffed down the responses. Deep down, with other emotions and magic. Beyond Pierre, a glass trembled but once you relaxed, the water went still.
“I apologize,” you said, not meeting his gaze. “I’ll do better next time.”
Pierre sniffed. “See that you do,” he said, brushing past. Grabbing a beer from the bar, you heard his friends burst into raucous laughter. Apparently, your humiliation was entertaining.
Heaving a small sigh, you turned – and froze where you stood.
Outside, Jungkook stared into the restaurant with murderous eyes. Too late, you realized Pierre had pulled you in front of the window. Away from anyone dining, but in full view of anyone on the sidewalk. Like your boyfriend, who witnessed the entire spectacle.
For a moment, your emotions overwhelmed, and you felt magic crack the walls you kept hidden. Embarrassment crept past your boundaries. Humiliation. Fury. Stuffing everything back, you quickly turned to rush through the tables.
Jungkook’s gaze snapped towards you, his brow furrowing. Reaching the staff room, you paced up and down. Jungkook saw you. He saw Pierre’s outburst, which meant you’d have to explain. You’d have to explain to Jungkook – the only person whose opinion you cared about – why you allowed other people to walk all over you.
He’d start to ask questions. Questions like, when was the last time you really got mad? You’d have no good response. Not because you don’t get mad, because you do. But because you don’t ever allow yourself to act on the feeling.
Faced with the prospect of brushing him off, you buried your face in both hands. Your usual excuses wore thin in your ears.
Pierre isn’t so bad. It was a one-time thing. You promise you’ll talk to Pierre tomorrow.
None of it would be true, and you didn’t want to lie to Jungkook. People never understood why you wouldn’t stand up for yourself, but the answer was complicated.
Your last date said you lacked emotions, but you don’t think that’s it. Of course, you have feelings, but those feelings are buried beneath so many layers, they can be hard to see. It’s not that you don’t feel, it’s that you cannot.
When you feel, your magic reacts, and people get hurt.
That was the last part of yourself you kept hidden. Jungkook is normal and he doesn’t know you’re an Elemental.
You know that by now, you should have said something. Obviously, but the timing was never right. Twenty-five years old, and you still aren’t sure how to broach the conversation. Few people know what you are, so you haven’t had much experience with the explanation. Your magic isn’t something you use if you can help it.
Yet another lesson you learned from your mom.
Your dad, an Elemental, died when you were five. Before, you lived near the ocean on a flat strip of sand. Your memories from before then are faint, but whenever you try, you can hear his booming laugh. Can feel the salt sting your cheeks, your mom tossing you in the air while you spun around.
Everything afterwards faded. At five years old, a hurricane swept past the barrier islands and that, you remember. You recall your mom at the door, pleading with your dad not to go as he donned his jacket. You remember him holding her hand, kissing the top of your head, and saying he’d return soon. Not many Elementals lived in your area, and even fewer had water magic.
You recall the hours passing, stretching longer and longer until dawn approached. Flashing lights followed, a woman climbing from her car to speak to your mom. You recall the sound of your mom sobbing, the policewoman’s voice floating into the house.
The storm surge was stronger than expected, but your dad managed to divert the worst. He saved the town only to be hit by a bolt of lightning. Instant death, the policewoman said, her tone implying this might be a comfort. Chest tight, your fingertips dug into the railing. Comfort meant nothing when your dad was gone. The irony struck you even back then – your dad saved others, and no one came to save him.
For weeks following, your mom was a ghost. At first, neighbors stopped by to drop off casseroles and condolences. Soon though, their sympathy stopped, and the whispers began. You were young enough not to notice, too consumed by the enormity of your own loss.
Eventually though, you noticed something was off. Suspicious eyes followed you down the sidewalk. Mothers clutched at their children, hurrying them to the side of an empty street. One day, you traipsed downstairs and overheard your mom on the phone.
She sat at the kitchen table, facing away from the staircase. You paused on the landing, listening to your aunt’s voice blast on speakerphone.
“Nonsense,” she was saying. “Your husband was a hero, and anyone saying otherwise is cracked. He saved your town!”
“I know.” Your mom blew her nose. “But now, people are wondering if he caused the storm. They’re saying maybe he… made the hurricane. It’s this new mayor,” she said, frustrated. “He hates Elementals and keeps insisting our family orchestrated this to collect money. He says –”
“Oh, no.” Your aunt sounded furious. “Don’t you repeat a single word that hateful man says.”
“He has a point, though,” your mom said, her voice low. “Did you hear about Uniontown? A fire Elemental accidentally set their barn on fire. Nearly burned the whole town. Magic is dangerous. I tried to warn him, but he wouldn’t listen, and now –”
“When was the last time your husband lost control, though? Are you saying you think he caused a hurricane?”
“God, no!” You watched your mom straighten. “But there are people saying… awful things.”
“Some people aren’t worth listening to.”
“I know.” Wearily, she exhaled. “They’re talking about Y/N, too, though. Apparently, she caused a tidal wave at the pool last weekend.”
Hearing your name said out loud, you shrank back in the shadows. You weren’t aware your mom knew about that, or that she cared. Bobby Clemmons teased Judith Bryce about her hair until finally, you snapped. Bobby was swept to the other end of the pool, much to Judith’s relief. She thanked you repeatedly.
Bobby was fine, except for some water up his nose. From the way he carried on though, you’d have thought he broke his arm.
Your mother lowered her voice, as though magic was something to be mentioned only in whispers. For the first time, a sense of shame crept over you. Your dad had always been open about magic, though stern. Stern in his belief magic should help people, not hurt. Never once did your dad insinuate magic itself was the problem.
Magic is dangerous.
Your mom’s words on the phone sank in as, your head pounding as you turned around to run up the steps. Even at six, you felt panic. If magic was dangerous and you were magical – that meant you were dangerous, too.
Slipping beneath your comforter, you stared at your shaking hands. Rain hit your windows, snowballing your worry to full-on fear. By the time your mom rushed upstairs, you were rocking under the covers as a storm raged.
She helped to calm you down, got your magic under control and a month after, you moved far away from the sea. A version of yourself vanished as you passed the pier. Despite this, you felt instant relief at the thought of control.
You remember your mom smiling when you joined the highway. “This will be good,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “A fresh start, away from it all. You can be whoever you want to be, Y/N.”
Except for the person you actually were.
Her meaning was clear, even if she didn’t say it out loud. At the time, you found the thought soothing. If you didn’t want to use magic, you didn’t have to. You never had to become your dad, who all your friends said had caused the bad storm. Even the news had turned against you.
Earth Elemental suspected behind San Raoul earthquake!
Jailed air Elemental claims innocence against onslaught of tornadoes!
Fire Elementals flee after string of arson!
Always the exclamation point. Always the lurid fascination that blame could be pinned on a single person. New rules were implemented in the house. No magic, except in your mom’s presence. This soon became no magic at all, but you didn’t mind. Whenever you did use magic, it felt wild, chaotic – the opposite of how you wanted to feel.
Your early years were marked by the struggle to conceal your powers. Years passed without incident and then, something would happen, and you’d have to move. Your mom never begrudged you, simply packed the house to travel to the next city. Each time, you promised you’d do better but by the time you realized school wasn’t for you, you had moved no less than six times.
Art was a risk, though one you found necessary.
Creation meant tapping into emotion, but you found methods of coping. Painting was the only place you loosened the reins on your magic, and so it became an outlet of sorts. A release, preventing your emotions from spilling into unwanted places.
There were other strategies, as well. Deep breathing. Counting backwards from one hundred. Focusing on one point, then on another until the magic calmed in your veins. Until you forgot the dangerous and destructive water around you.
Some people proved more reactionary to you than others. With some people, your magic responded so strongly, you were forced to cut them out completely. The first person this happened with was your best friend, Katrina. You were fourteen when she confided in you her family was fire Elementals. In response, your magic surged.
For a glorious summer, you practiced magic in secret. Each morning, you and Katrina bounded through the woods towards the far creek. You summoned great waves of water for Katrina to singe into mist. Everything was fine until late one evening, your mom caught you. She witnessed the combined magic and lost her temper.
Dragging you from the woods, your mom slammed the front door in Katrina’s face. She sat you down at the kitchen table, delivering a scolding you’ve never forgotten.
Do you know how reckless you were? What if a tree had caught fire? What if you altered the town’s water supply? What if someone saw and the next time a disaster happened, they blamed it on you – or Katrina?
Stricken by these very real possibilities, you promised not to do it again. Although you begged not to move, your mom packed the next day – your fastest exit ever.
The second time you cut someone out was after high school. Elliot was an artist, a quiet guy who dabbled with oils. He saw you painting one day in the park and silently set up his easel beside yours. This happened for weeks until he asked you out. Your ensuing romance was brief and sweet, and your feelings grew within a short period of time.
When Elliot told you he loved you, you dissolved into panic. You could feel how your magic responded, reaching for water that surged through his tiny apartment. Tossing on clothes, you stammered apologies and fled into the night.
For weeks following, it rained. Enough for the reporters to forecast local flooding. The fact terrified you – imagining people trapped on top of cars, small businesses flooded, the Red Cross called in to ferry locals to safety. It took your mom flying out to put you at ease, clearing the skies and regaining control.
Since then, you haven’t let anyone else past your inner walls. Until Jungkook.
Swallowing hard, you stare at his apartment and wonder if you’ll survive. Breaking up with Elliot is one of your worst memories and you only felt a fraction of what you do for Jungkook. Maybe you’ll conjure a hurricane, bringing the events of your life full circle.
Shutting your eyes, you rub at them dully. There’s no point in wondering what-if. You need to end it now, before things get worse. All day, you’ve gone over the facts and arrived at the same conclusion.
As expected, Jungkook was livid about Pierre last night. He wanted to confront your boss himself, although quickly backed off when he realized this was your battle. This though, turned to confusion when you said your intent to do nothing.
Although you tried the usual excuses, none of them stuck. Even if it was just once, Jungkook argued, it shouldn’t go unnoticed. You snapped slightly at this, insisting you’d deal with things in your own time.
Getting angry near Jungkook was peculiar. Suddenly, you became aware of the water around you. Thick, leaden pipes lacing Jungkook’s walls. Moisture that hung in the air, in the clouds – within his very veins. The thought terrified you, wondering what you might do accidentally.
Your panic must have been visible, because Jungkook instantly softened. Crossing the room, he pulled you into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “It’s just… I hate seeing you hurt. Of course, you know what’s best. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
His grip grounded you, enough that your magic dissipated, and that you realized a truth you’d hidden for some time.
You were in love with Jungkook.
No one in your life had ever been like him. Someone who was always in your corner, who protected you when they could and lifted up parts they couldn’t. Someone who liked everything about you – even the parts you weren’t brave enough to admit.
Studying his face, you tried to ignore the sudden ache in your chest. Even last night, you knew the inevitable. Memorizing his face, you tried hard to hold on. Jungkook’s slightly rounded nose, his full bottom lip accentuated by two piercings. Dark hair fell over his forehead; strong features contrasted by a soft gaze.
Jungkook watched you as well, and you wondered if he felt the same. Wondered why he’d commit you to memory, since you were the lucky one. He was the miracle, and you were biding your time.
Bending, he lightly brushed your mouth against his. Instantly, you melted. It wasn’t your first kiss and prayed it wouldn’t be the last, but something about last night felt different. Walking the two of you backwards, Jungkook pressed you against the wall and kissed you harder. His touch became desperate, one hand sliding beneath the lines of your blouse.
Your breath hitched at the brush of his fingers, delicious and warm against skin. His touch unknotted a hidden, tangled piece of your soul.
Ever since you met Jungkook, you’d held yourself separate. When you asked him to go slow in the beginning, he agreed. Touching was fine. Kissing was fine. Anything more, and you lost control.
About a month into dating, you met Jungkook at a bar and got tipsy. Three drinks in, you were frantically making out in an alley outside. Jungkook panted, “my place?” against your mouth, and you nodded. The journey back to his place was fast and slow, pausing in every dark place to drag his mouth to yours.
The second his door shut, you found yourself stumbling – into his bedroom, his bed, the confines of his heart. Shoes were discarded with every step, and Jungkook couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. You returned his fervor in spades, nipping his lower lip to watch him smile.
When he fell back on the bed, you saw his pulse quicken. Staring up at you, Jungkook watched your clothing disappear with a gaze so dark, it bordered on onyx. Climbing onto him, you resumed kissing with a newfound reverence. Eyes falling shut, you did your best to stay present.
Each brush of his lips was combustive, each touch of his hands filling you with sharp, pulsing light. And then –
The sink and shower in his bathroom burst on.
Startled, you pulled away and realized it had been you. Your magic had caused it, flooding his bathroom with water. Swearing under his breath, Jungkook scrambled out of bed to hastily turn off both faucets.
You sat there on his bed, heart pounding with fear. By the time he returned, you were already dressed and mortified. Jungkook was all apologies, certain he’d moved too fast, but you assured him he hadn’t. Anything that happened, you were an equal participant – too much maybe, although you didn’t say so out loud.
Lying in bed that night, you stared up at your ceiling. For a moment, it felt as though you were six and under the covers at your old house. Magic was dangerous. You would eventually hurt someone. Dread pooled in your stomach, recognizing the truth. If you couldn’t control your magic around Jungkook, you’d have to end things.
Heartache chased the thought, filling you with so much panic, you nearly drowned. Pushing this aside, you simply resolved to do better. To be better and keep both Jungkook and magic. This was simply another challenge; you owned your magic, not the other way around.
Thus, began the two best and worst months of your life. The best, since you’ve been dating Jungkook and the worst, because at every moment, you’re terrified of hurting him. Walking a line as thin as a razor, you’ve fallen in love while trying your best not to feel.
Until last night, you thought you’d been successful. Life was mostly under control, but then the Pierre debacle took place. Then Jungkook kissed you with such intensity, you forgot who you were and why you’d been holding back. Two long months of restraint and suddenly, you came undone at the seams.
Before long, you were again in his bedroom. Jungkook stripped off his clothes, bare skin pressing to yours with a searing intensity. Pulling you over him, a low hiss escaped while he kissed your throat. Even through his boxers, you could feel how hard Jungkook was. How badly he wanted this; a need you returned.
The thought of him inside you made you frantic. Pushing Jungkook onto his back, you straddled his waist and rocked forward.
Jungkook lay underneath you, his hair a dark halo. Suddenly, you could feel water everywhere. Magic, everywhere – it was in you, around you, in Jungkook’s walls and molecules. Everything felt so utterly fragile, and your magic responded.
Ferocious, it strained at your self-crafted bonds. Realizing how precarious your grasp on control was, your emotions slipped into panic.
You had to leave. Now.
Sensing the change in your body, Jungkook paused.
“I – I’m sorry,” you blurted, scrambling off him. Bending for your pants, you pushed one leg through and hastily zipped. “I need to go.”
Jungkook stared, frozen in place. “I…” Shaking his head, he pushed a hand through his hair. “What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”
Stomach dropping, you roughly shook your head. Part of you ached to correct him but your magic was barely leashed, and you weren’t certain how much longer it’d hold.
Your magic wasn’t something you wanted Jungkook to see.
Frantically throwing on your shirt, you rushed towards his front door. His dog, Bam, whined from the couch and lifted his head as you passed. Yanking open his door, you escaped to the hall and downstairs. You heard Jungkook call after, but he didn’t follow, for which you were grateful.
Remembering his face broke your heart as you entered the subway. You kept your magic at bay until reaching your building, at which point rain swept the city in waves. Soaked through, you got in the elevator and saw Jungkook had texted. Shaking, you responded you’d talk to him tomorrow and turned off your phone.
Rain poured all night and you barely slept. By the time you woke, your mood had gotten worse. Work was torture. Even the lunch shift couldn’t save you, the looming specter of Jungkook impossible to forget. When Pierre showed up around one, you knew you were doomed. His glower could be felt all the way across the restaurant and no matter what you did, you somehow stayed in his way.
With little to no sleep and haunted by last night, the grip on your magic was tentative at best. Your entire shift, it hovered at the edge of your fingers. When Pierre commented you looked tired, the rain outside worsened. When a table of middle-aged men called you ‘girlie,’ their water glasses shook.
It was miraculous nothing happened until the end of your shift. That was the moment Pierre’s friends arrived, seating themselves at the table you gave away last night. One of them laughed as you poured them water, and you managed to push down your snide remark.
Glasses full, you turned around to go and the same one grabbed your waist.
You went still.
For so long, you’ve hidden your magic to protect others. You’ve kept them from hurting and there you were, broken, and no one cared about you. Just like no one cared about your dad, in the end. Teeth gritted, you whirled – and the entire water pitcher dumped itself at him.
At him, not on him.
You didn’t trip. Didn’t throw the water, although either would have been preferrable. Instead, the water leapt from the pitcher to slap the man in the face.
Horrified, you stared as reality sunk in. You had just assaulted a guest – a friend of Pierre’s, at that.
Shocked, the man wiped water down his visage. The entire restaurant fell silent, every eye in the room locked on you. Panic-stricken, you stammered an apology, flung a napkin on the table and fled into the kitchen.
The moment you crashed through the doors, you were hailed a hero. Izumi, your line cook, wistfully recalled the one time she punched a guy who grabbed her ass. Georgina added that once, she spit in the drink of a man who called her a bitch.
Both tactfully avoided the fact that you were an Elemental, which you appreciated. You were starting to feel marginally better – maybe you wouldn’tbe fired, after all – when the door to the kitchen swung open and Pierre stormed through. Seeing his face, your heart sank.
“You!” Spittle flew from his lips as he pointed. “Y/N – pack your things! You’re done here. Fired. You think you can insult my friend, pull some magic bullshit on him, and continue to work here? Fuck that. Get out – now!”
A pin could have been heard in the silence. Coming to your senses, you did exactly as asked and got your things. Pierre hadn’t mentioned pressing charges, and you didn’t want to stick around long enough to find out.
Outside, you stood on the sidewalk and stared at the bus stop. Storm clouds brewed above, a visualization of your inner turmoil. Eventually, you turned and trudged down the subway.
Things had reached a point you couldn’t ignore anymore. You were beyond out of control. Emotions surged and strained against your internal walls, threatening everyone you held dear. The city didn’t deserve to be punished, even if no one within it knew of your sacrifice. Pierre’s friends were awful, but you could’ve just as easily lost your temper with someone you loved.
Someone like Jungkook, whom you couldn’t seem to be around without incident.
That was the reason most people feared Elementals. It was selfish of you to put your desires ahead of another person’s safety. The only way to protect someone you loved was to stay away.
Starting with Jungkook. You just wished he didn’t have to get hurt in order for that to happen.
Standing outside his building, you take a deep breath and press the buzzer. You wait for several long moments, wondering if he’s home and then –
“Hello?” Jungkook’s voice crackles over the speaker.
Leaning in, you press 316. “Hey. It’s me. Y/N.”
A weighted pause, and then –
“Come in.”
The door unlocks, and you push it inside. Climbing the steps to his place, your heart starts to pound. The last time you saw Jungkook, you were running away. The last text he sent was, ‘ok,’ in response to your message. If you were Jungkook, you wouldn’t be thrilled to see you.
Coming to a stop outside 316, you lift your hand and knock. A howl responds, followed by the patter of gigantic dog footsteps. Unable to stop your smile, you shake your head at the chaos.
“It’s just me, Bam!” you say, and he stops.
Bam’s howl is replaced with a whine and the sharp thwack-thwack of his tail on the door.
“Bam, out of the way,” Jungkook calls, his voice coming closer. A few seconds later, the door flies open to reveal your boyfriend.
You only catch a glimpse before Bam barrels out, nearly knocking you over. Legs and tail akimbo, he slobbers all over until you bend to pet him. Once satisfied, Bam turns around and trots back inside.
Silence falls between you, and you look up to see Jungkook. He’s dressed casually, sweatpants and a t-shirt bought at a concert you attended. He hasn’t moved aside, blocking you from entering.
Uncertain, you straighten. “Can I come in?”
Slowly, he nods and moves. You walk past him, trying not to focus on the heat of his shoulder. This might be the last time you see Jungkook, so you try to focus on that. Not the prospect of what you’re about to do.
Hearing the door shut, you take a deep breath and turn to face him. “I can’t stay too long,” you admit, digging your nails into the palms of your hands.
Jungkook regards you warily. His expression makes your chest ache, unused to him with such a stern expression. After last night, you suppose it’s earned. You should probably get used to it.
“Y/N.” His jaw works. “What’s going on?”
Deciding honesty is the best policy – up to a point – you force out your next words. “I think we should break up,” you say in a rush.
With a low whine, Bam slinks in the direction of the bedroom. Jungkook glances at him, distracted, before facing forward.
“What do you mean?” His head tilts. “Like, you want to take a break?”
Steeling yourself, you shake your head. “No. As in, I want to break up. Permanently.”
A train passes by the building, rumbling the floorboards underneath. Most people would avoid living in this building for that reason, but Jungkook was overjoyed by the prospect of discounted rent.
He doesn’t seem overjoyed now, though. Instead, he looks stricken.
“Walk me through this,” Jungkook says, walking closer. The set of his mouth has turned stubborn. “I don’t follow. Why are we breaking up again?”
The knot in your chest tightens. You should have known Jungkook wouldn’t make this easy on you. “We’re not good together,” you say, only to correct yourself. “I mean, I’m not good for you. I’m not in a place where I can be in a relationship.”
He comes to a stop. “I can wait, Y/N. I don’t mind.”
Reaching for you, Jungkook’s brows crease when you take a step backwards. His hand falls between you, and he stares at the empty space. The crack in your heart widens, made worse by his silence.
“I mind, though,” you force yourself to say. “I can’t ask you to wait for me, Jungkook. That’s not fair to either of us. It’s too much pressure.”
The words make your heart splinter, reaching a point you aren’t sure can be reassembled. Maybe the pieces will simply lodge in your muscle, bruising your insides each time you draw breath.
“I won’t pressure you,” Jungkook says, automatic. His frown deepens. “Tell me what this is really about, Y/N. Is this about sex? It’s fine if we don’t have it.” Stepping closer, he takes your hand and you let him. “I just want you to be honest with me.”
Somewhat manic, you shake your head – and then nod.
Sex is a part of the problem, but it’s not the root cause. Sex with Jungkook is unthinkable. You can barely remain in control when you kiss, let alone allow more. With your past partners, this wasn’t an issue, but your past partners weren’t Jungkook.
Never have you met someone able to scramble your thoughts with a kiss. Whose gaze melted inhibitions and tore down every wall. You have little doubt that with Jungkook, you’d lose full control, and the thought is terrifying. Already, your makeshift barriers are weakened.
Rain splatters against the window, and your stomach lurches.
“Seriously, Y/N,” Jungkook says, returning your attention to him. “What’s this about? I can tell something’s on your mind.”
He takes your other hand, and you realize how close he stands. “Is it work?” Jungkook asks, a crease between brows. “Is there… some reason you can’t quit? You can tell me, Y/N.”
An odd zing of disappointment goes through you. For a moment, you thought Jungkook had guessed your secret, and this could all be avoided. If Jungkook knew what you were and that you lied to him – well, he’d end things for you. Hesitant, you consider revealing that truth but can’t seem to form words. It would devastate you, seeing fear replace love in his eyes.
“Work isn’t the problem,” you say at last. “It’s us, Jungkook. Or – it’s me. I don’t want to be together anymore.”
Disbelief flashes across his expression, and you idly wonder what will happen if Jungkook refuses. Even as you think this though, his expression shifts. Jungkook takes a careful step backwards, dropping your hands entirely.
He’s never been good at hiding emotion. Jungkook is your opposite in that way, revealing every shift of thought and desire. You watch confusion become anger, then bitterness a moment before he turns away. The set of his shoulders is still, staring out the window as yet another train passes.
Restless, he turns to drag a hand through his hair. “I don’t believe you,” he declares. “This is so out of nowhere, Y/N. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m telling you everything,” you say, panic rising. “And this isn’t out of nowhere! I’ve been telling you for months I need to take things slow and this – well, this is the opposite of slow, Jungkook!”
Jungkook stares back at you, heated. “Yeah, I guess so.”
The two of you stand there for a moment, the tension thick in between you. Eventually, you look away first and pull your bag tighter.
“Right,” you exhale. “Well, I should go –”
Striding forward, Jungkook reaches you to cup your face with both palms. Gently, he lifts your face towards him, and all thoughts cease completely. Gaze searching, his breath fans across your parted lips.
Jungkook’s gaze intensifies. “I don’t believe you,” he murmurs.
Adrenaline zips under your skin, stirring your magic into a deadly storm. Entire body tense, you suppress the urge to fight or flee. So often, you’re the one running but right now, you feel more compelled to fight.
A knife in you twists, knowing you’re a coward. If you were stronger, you could keep Jungkook. No matter how understanding he is, the fact remains that if he stays with you, Jungkook remains in danger. Each passing day only worsens the pain.
His face blurs. With a start of surprise, you realize there are tears on your cheeks. The furrow between Jungkook’s brows deepens, noticing as well.
“You’re not listening,” you blurt. “I can’t see you any longer, Jungkook. It’s in your best interest, I promise – I can’t do this. It’s too much.”
Reaching up, you remove his hands from your face and head for the door.
Jungkook follows close behind. “Which is it, then?” he demands. “You want me to go slowly, or you feel too much?”
Pressure weighs every inch of your skin, demanding you answer. Anything that comes out now will only make things harder. Reaching the door, you feel Jungkook’s hand on your shoulder. Caving, you don’t fight when Jungkook turns you to face him.
He’s too close to you. Too much and too close, his one hand sliding to cup the back of your neck. Slowly, his thumb strokes the elongated line of your throat. You swallow, hard, and his gaze follows the motion.
Jungkook’s gaze flicks to yours. “You keep saying you’re no good for me,” he says, his voice low. “But what if I don’t care? Don’t I get a say in this decision?”
The force of holding in your magic worsens, becoming near impossible. Hastily built walls threaten to collapse, and reality blurs between one moment and the next.
“I’m sorry,” you blurt, your hand searching behind you. “I have to go.”
Finding the doorknob, you twist and stumble backwards. Jungkook watches you go, the look on his face physically painful as you turn around. Each second that follows is pure concentration, trying not to break before getting outside.
The ocean is only a few blocks from Jungkook’s apartment.
Reaching the harbor, rain pelts your face in a way that feels punishing. Magic makes your limbs tremble, escaping your body in wisps of fog and rain. The moment you arrive at the harbor, you shatter, collapsing forward to grip your knees with both hands.
Eyes pressed tightly shut, you hear the storm howl. Waves churn the harbor, sloshing over the sidewalk in an attempt to get closer. No tidal waves, you plead in an attempt at reason. No whirlpools, no water spouts.
Your magic listens in this regard, at least. By the time your eyes open, a curtain of rain mingles with tears on your cheeks. Staring out at the ocean, each inch of your body is numb.
Jungkook will never forgive you for this.
The thought banishes all the rest. You can’t say that you blame him. Slowly, you exhale as you lift your gaze. The chasm in your chest widens, becoming something unbreachable. This is all your fault. You wish there was some satisfaction in knowing this, but there isn’t.
Eventually, the rain dulls, and you push yourself upright. Your sneakers squish with every step, the silence all-encompassing as you ride on the subway. Entering the building, you remove your shoes and collapse on your bed, fully clothed. Thankfully, your roommate isn’t home, so you aren’t forced to explain the events of tonight. Seokjin would have wanted to discuss, and you aren’t sure you can without breaking down.
Burrowing your face into the pillows, you manage to cry yourself asleep. Rain doesn’t let up the entire night.
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“Tell me again.” Taking a seat at the table, Seokjin spoons yogurt and berries into his mouth. “Why did you have to end things with your boyfriend?”
Cracking open one eye, you glare from where you sit, slumped forward. “You know why, Seokjin,” you grumble. “Not all of us can be air Elementals in perfect control of their magic.”
“You could be, though,” he says, pointing with his spoon. “If you put in like, five seconds of training and embraced your water powers instead of running away whenever things got bad.”
“I am not running.”
“No.” Seokjin lifts a brow. “You’re cowering, which is far less attractive.”
“I’m not cowering, either.” Scowling, you bury your head deeper into your arms. “I’m wallowing. Big difference.”
Scoffing, his spoon scrapes the bottom of the bowl. Pushing his chair back to stand, Seokjin heads for the sink and turns on the tap. The water itches a spot deep in your chest, almost taunting.
“I can’t be too hard on you, though,” Seokjin says as he cleans. “You did get fired and dumped in one day – that’s pretty rough.”
“Does it count as being dumped if I did the dumping?”
“I’ll allow it.” He opens the dishwasher. “But only because really, you didn’t want to break up with Jungkook. You’ve just convinced yourself the world is better off without you – something I highly disagree with, by the way, but can’t fault you for feeling. It’s too sad.”
“Thanks,” you mumble, and close your eyes.
Two days have gone by since your decision to end your relationship with Jungkook. It hasn’t been great, to put things mildly. On Monday, you barely left your room and rain poured from the sky. When you did enter the kitchen, the weather person on Channel 9 predicted local flooding.
Seokjin arrived from his business trip that night, took one look at your face and helped stop the storm. You sagged with relief, falling into a fitful round of sleep that only lasted three hours.
Seokjin is one of the few Elementals you know who embraces their power. Both his parents are air Elementals, and he was raised to take over their magical consulting business. Said business does well, leading Seokjin to own a gorgeous, three-bedroom apartment in the middle of the city. He got bored last winter, decided to post for a roommate and here you are. One of the few people in the city willing to room with an Elemental.
You don’t care what Seokjin does with his magic, although his laissez-faire attitude can occasionally be unnerving. You’ve lived your entire life with the assumption your existence is dangerous. All you need is a quick Google search to reinforce this fact. But then there’s Seokjin, living his life, seemingly none the worse for the wear.
He discovered your powers about a month into rooming together. Coming back from a trip, Seokjin opened the door to stare, slack-jawed, as plates washed themselves in the sink. Glancing up from your book at the table, you immediately sent two dishes crashing onto the floor.
Seokjin stared at this for a moment, then looked up. “You owe me new plates,” he declared and walked into his bedroom. After a moment, he popped his head out. “Hey – you think if we combined my wind and your water, we could create a waterspout but on land?”
“That’s… a tornado, Seokjin.”
“Right.” He slapped the doorframe once and disappeared. “Well, something to think about!”
Months later, Seokjin still doesn’t understand your avoidance of magic, but respects the decision enough to leave it alone. At least, until something like this happens and he’s again at a loss.
“Listen.”
Turning around, he shuts the dishwasher with his hip.
“Oh, no.” You grimace. “What now?”
Seokjin raises both hands. “Nothing, nothing. Far be it from me to comment on your mistakes. I’m sorry – did I say mistakes? I meant, ‘learned life experience.’ Through mistakes.”
“Was there a question in all that?”
“No question.” Loosely, he gestures. “Just wanted to say you can stay here, rent-free, until you figure this out. You know I’m only taking your money because you insist. I don’t need it. This place is already paid for.”
“Only because you frightened the seller so badly, they cut the price in half.”
“Listen.” Seokjin’s smile turns slightly sinister. “If they were willing to let their ingrained fear of Elementals influence their selling point, that’s on them. Not me.”
“Fair enough,” you sigh and sit back. “But seriously – thank you. This will give me some time to come up with a plan.”
Seokjin nods, tracing the rim of his coffee. Absently, he glances down the hall at the empty third bedroom. “You know…”
“No,” you say, automatic.
His right brow lifts. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“You were going to suggest I use this time off to work on my art.”
“Okay.” Seokjin shrugs. “Maybe you did know. But seriously, Y/N – why not?”
Weary, you exhale. “Because every time I try to paint, I get this… block. I can’t explain it. Watercolors used to be the one place I felt comfortable using my magic. Now… I don’t know. I can’t seem to use my magic anywhere. Even my art.”
Seokjin tilts his head, thoughtful. “How long has this been going on?”
“Don’t know – a few months?”
“Not long after you started dating Jungkook.”
Staring at Seokjin, you realize he’s right. That’s exactly around when you began dating Jungkook. The block happened not long after. Thinking about the early days of dating are painful though, and so you choose not to.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” you declare with a shake of your head. “Right now, what I need is a job. And to earn money. Preferably in that order.”
Seokjin’s lips twitch. “Let me know if the order changes. I know a guy.”
Before you can consider his offer too seriously, your phone rings on the table. Glancing down, your heart constricts at your mom’s name. It isn’t that you don’t want to talk. It’s that if you do, Jungkook’s name will come up, and you’ll be forced to explain why you two aren’t together. Right now, you’re managing to cope by avoiding the topic. You aren’t sure what will happen if you’re forced to confront it.
Not to mention the very real possibility your mom will be happy. She liked Jungkook, but she always worries whenever someone new enters your life.
Also glancing at your phone, Seokjin scowls. “Don’t answer it,” he says, walking past. “Whenever you talk to your mom, things get even worse.”
Seokjin’s not wrong. Your mom means well – really, she does – but talking to her tends to leave you exhausted. Still, you know from experience it’s better to answer now.
“I know,” you sigh and stand up. “But if I don’t pick up now, she’ll just keep calling. Hey,” you say, pressing answer. “One second, mom.”
Ignoring Seokjin’s sad shake of his head, you scoop up your coffee and head for your bedroom.
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Closing the door to your room, you lean backwards. “Hi, mom,” you say, lifting your phone to your ear. “Sorry about that. I was eating breakfast. How are you?”
“Oh, you know,” your mom says, and you can practically hear her smile. “Same old, same old. The better question is, how are you? I saw on the weather there’s some flooding by you. Hope you’re alright!”
Grimacing, you move the phone to speaker. You should have known your mom would check in. Reading between the lines of her question, you can hear what she’s really asking. Your mom wants to know if you caused the flooding – an answer which is undeniably yes, but she doesn’t have to know that.
Setting down your half-empty mug, you flop face-first on your bed. Less information tends to be more with your mom. You’re debating what to say when she solves the problem for you.
“I know you haven’t had a slip in years,” she continues. “But if there’s another water Elemental in town, you should try to steer clear of them! Being around them could set you off – that’s what happened to Becky’s nephew, she said.”
Fighting an eye roll, you roll on your back. Becky Mayweather is your mom’s best friend in the entire world and one of your least favorite people. She’s the type to bake cookies, offer a shoulder to cry on – and then promptly turn and gossip to the neighbors about it. She fancies herself an Elemental expert because a few of her friends married them. Funnily enough, neither you nor your mom have met these friends in person.
“Oh?” you ask. “I never noticed.”
“It’s true! You know that I worry, Y/N. All alone in the city with another Elemental for a roommate…”
Annoyance spikes in your stomach. “His name is Seokjin, and I’m an Elemental too, mom. His mom could say the same thing about me.”
Seokjin’s mom could be saying that, but she wouldn’t because Seokjin’s mom and dad are both magic enthusiasts. The few times you met them, they were nothing but kind.
“Oh, Y/N.” Your mom sighs. “It’s not the same.”
“Why not?”
“Watch your tone,” she says. “I’m only telling the truth. You work hard on controlling your magic. Your roommate, on the other hand, uses his magic willy-nilly. In broad daylight! You two couldn’t be more different.”
Your mom isn’t wrong about that, although not for the reason she thinks. Seokjin does use his magic freely, but you’re the one at risk of hurting others – not him.
“Seokjin is a good guy,” you say tightly. “He’s letting me stay here, rent-free, while I search for another job.”
“Another job?” Her voice pitches. “What happened to the job at that restaurant?”
Cursing yourself for your own stupidity, you close your eyes. “Um… I was let go. Difference of opinions with management.”
“Oh. Well. That’s too bad, Y/N, I’m sorry. It’s probably for the best – you don’t want to be working for someone you don’t respect, right?”
Some of your anger lessens at her genuine sympathy. It’d be easy to paint your mom as the villain but truthfully, she comes from a good place. You know that she loves you; she just doesn’t want to lose you the same way she lost your dad.
Exhaling deeply, you reach to grab a pillow. “I’ve been trying to paint,” you say. “It hasn’t been going well.”
“No?”
You frown at the obvious joy in her voice.
“Yeah,” you admit.
“Well…” Your mom draws the word out. “We always knew art was a risky hobby, Y/N. Painting. With watercolors. Something could easily go wrong and put you in danger.”
“I know, mom.”
“Actually,” she adds, her excitement growing. “Maybe this is a sign. Y/N – what if this means your powers are weakening?”
Your entire body goes still. “What?”
“Yes!” she says, oblivious to the panic in your voice. “You always loved watercolors because they made sense to you, right? Because of your… well, magic. What if a block means your powers are growing weaker? I wonder if other Elementals ever lose touch with their magic. I’ll have to ask Becky.”
Irrational anger surges within, and you hear the faucet in your bathroom turn on. Hastily, you work to turn it back off.
“You don’t need to do that,” you blurt. “I’ll research it myself. Actually, I should get going – I wanted to apply for some jobs this morning.”
“Oh, yes – good call, honey. You go and apply. Let me know if you need help. Becky has connections with the local university. I’m sure someone could help you update your resume – or even apply, if that sounds interesting to you.”
“Thanks,” you say, although it absolutely does not. “That’s a nice offer.”
“Have a good day, honey – I love you!”
“Love you, too,” you say before hanging up.
Dropping the phone onto your bed, you hug your pillow tightly. It takes several long minutes to relax, wading your way through an anxious sea of thought. Although your mom means well, conversations with her tend to leave you feeling drained. Since you were young, it’s felt like your mom has an idea of the perfect child, and they aren’t you.
Eventually, you stand to bring your mug to the kitchen. Seokjin is busy making another pot of coffee, the delicious scent wafting overhead.
Passing him by, you eye this warily. “Isn’t that your third pot this morning?”
“And?” Seokjin reaches for his mug. “You’ve had three cups yourself.”
“Touché,” you sigh, collapsing on the couch.
Minutes later, Seokjin enters the living room and hands you a mug.
Staring into the drink, you say, “Thanks.”
Settling onto the sofa, Seokjin examines you over the rim of his coffee. You ignore him, taking a long sip of your drink. A summer breeze wafts through the window, and with a flick of his wrist, Seokjin sends it back out.
A stab of envy goes through you, although you know it’s irrational. Seokjin always makes magic look easy, but you’ve never found it to be so. Maybe when you were younger, before the crippling fear and anxiety had a chance to set in. The only time magic ever felt normal was when you painted and now, you can’t even do that.
Thinking about painting makes you think about Jungkook though, causing the dull thud in your chest to become a sledgehammer. You miss him. Miss the easy way Jungkook made you laugh. How he insisted on constantly touching some part of your body.
Cupping your mug of coffee, you take another sip and sink into the sadness.
“Far be it from me to dole out advice.” Seokjin interrupts your tiny pity party. “But I think you’re going about this the wrong way.”
Too exhausted to argue, you merely exhale. “What’s the right way, then?”
His head tilts. “I don’t know. But I find it weird your block appeared around the same time you started dating Jungkook. You’ve…” Seokjin hesitates, and you recognize his how-do-I-put-this-delicately face. “You’ve given up a lot over the years, Y/N. Maybe this time, you gave up more of yourself than you realized.”
Silently, you wonder whether he’s right. For too long, you’ve gone through the motions of life without really living. Too scared of letting people in, scaring them off, of being yourself. Perhaps giving up Jungkook will be the final straw. The thought doesn’t comfort you, and you have no response.
After a moment, Seokjin turns on the TV. The morning slips by, though you can’t help but think about his earlier comments – could you control your magic if you tried harder? The moment you think this, you instantly banish the thought. You’ve been attempting for months, and nothing has worked.
With this cheery thought, you allow yourself to sink further into melancholy. Only this time, the water rushing overheard isn’t your friend. You aren’t sure it ever was.
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Wednesday morning, you leave the apartment in a haze. You thought that by today, things would be better but if anything, the situation seems to be worse.
Missing Jungkook is painful.
It hurts more than you thought, which might sound stupid, but that doesn’t make it any less true. When you and Elliot broke up, it was sad, but you knew it was for the best and that lessened some of the pain. Now though, each beat of your heart prevents the wound from closing. A tentative scab in one second, only to be torn open the next.
Jungkook always sent you good morning texts. Not because he was up before you, but because he went to bed so late, it was only an hour or two before you awoke. His words were the first thing you read in the morning, smiling sleepily at his rambling. Sometimes, Jungkook would include a late-night snack recipe. Always, he’d end with something he liked about you.
His silence is deafening. Something not even your favorite coffee shop can fix, although you try. Standing in line, you aimlessly flip through songs on your phone. Today, you promised Seokjin you’d attend at least two interviews. The first one is in an hour at a sushi restaurant. Before then, you plan to load up on caffeine and organize your thoughts.
When the line moves forward, you flip to your messages. No new texts. Unsurprising, but it rends the scab in your heart anew.
Facing forward, you remove an earbud to order. “Hi,” you say, mustering a smile. “I’ll have an iced americano with rose syrup.”
“Got it.” The barista barely looks up. “That all?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Want a receipt?”
“Nope.”
“Cool.” She nods. “That’ll be ready soon at the end of the counter.”
Nodding your thanks, you replace the ear pod. Cranking your music louder, you wait for your coffee and lean against the counter. The coffee shop is tiny, empty for a weekday after the morning rush. Aimless, you glance over the clustered tables.
Your thoughts are on Jungkook before they can be stopped. You wonder what he's doing, what he’s wearing, whether he’s blocked your number yet from his phone.
A talented graphic designer, Jungkook works mostly on commission and on his own time. He does well for himself – enough to afford rent on his own place. Your mutual creative streak was something you had in common. Not your sleeping hours, that’s for sure.
Jungkook usually slept until nine or ten, then went to the gym before he made breakfast. You used to tease him about that, saying he couldn’t call it breakfast if –
Your heart falters. Jungkook must be on your mind since you seem to have hallucinated him here, at the coffee shop. You blink once, and then twice, but the mirage doesn’t fade, and you’re forced to conclude Jungkook is actually here.
Unfolding himself from a chair, he heads in your direction. Panicked, you glance at the counter, then back up. Your coffee hasn’t finished, which means that you’re trapped. Straightening, you do your best to seem natural and are certain you fail. Jungkook doesn’t just look natural, he is so as he approaches. At least, until you notice his hands in his pockets.
Jungkook does this when he’s nervous. Likely, he’s playing with the inside pocket lining. It hurts, knowing him so well, and not being his. When Jungkook comes to a stop, you stand mere inches apart.
“Jungkook,” you say, his name punched from your diaphragm.
He nods. “Hey.”
Uncertain, you glance down at the counter to check for your drink. Still nothing and, looking back, you tilt your head. “What are you doing here?”
Jungkook’s hands go deeper, if possible. “Getting coffee. Is that allowed?”
Your lips press together. “Sure. Theoretically, you can get coffee. What I’m asking though, is why you chose this coffee shop, five blocks away from your place. Usually, you’re not awake before noon.”
His expression is inscrutable. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah.”
The silence between you lengthens, and not in a good way. You know why you’re quiet but can’t tell what Jungkook is thinking. You suppose that it’s possible he woke up early, forgot this was your favorite shop and went on a long walk for coffee – it’s possible, but unlikely.
At last, Jungkook exhales. “Alright, fine. I wanted to see you.”
“Y/N?”
Both of you turn at the sound of your name. Glancing between the two of you, the barista seems to pick up a weird vibe, dropping the cup to hurry away. Grateful for the interruption, you reach for your coffee and attempt to reset.
It’s not fair of Jungkook, corning you like this. You were already forced to end this once – unfair, making you do so again. Breaking up with him once was barely possible; twice is unthinkable.
“Don’t you have anything else to say?”
His voice interrupts your train of thought and, gripping your drink tightly, you turn.
“Like what?” you ask.
“Like, I don’t know.” His brow furrows, frustration obvious. “Anything, Y/N.”
Behind the counter, the barista fills a tea kettle to set this on the stove. You watch it instead of Jungkook, unsure how you’re going to do this again. The pressure of the water boiling is near tangible, mimicking the internal state of your mind.
Biting your tongue, you decide a safe exit is best. Jungkook will get the hint without you being forced to break his heart. Counting backwards from ten, you exhale and attempt to walk past.
“I’m sorry you came all this way,” you say in a murmur.
You’re nearly past Jungkook when you hear a soft swear. Only one more step happens before his hand grips your elbow.
“Y/N, please,” Jungkook breathes, turning you towards him.
Your gaze lifts and you start at his obvious pain. Staring back, Jungkook searches your face for something unspoken. Whatever he seeks, he must find it, since determination enters his.
You tear your gaze away. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Jungkook.”
“I want to know if you were serious about breaking up.”
He’s still holding your elbow.
You must notice this at the same time, but neither of you move. Your gaze returns to his, drawn like a magnet and you realize your mistake when you can’t look away. Romeo’s line about Julie being the sun comes to mind, making sudden sense. You orbit around Jungkook, whether you like it or not.
In the background, a tea kettle whistles. “I meant what I said, Jungkook,” you say, forcing yourself to speak first. “I’m not good for you.”
A muscle in his jaw feathers. “But why,” he demands, frustration seeping through. You can hear in his voice the long nights of desperation, of little sleep in your absence. “I don’t understand what went wrong, Y/N. What did I do?”
A chasm in your chest opens, hating how easily he jumps to self-doubt. Before you can think better of it, you move closer.
“Nothing,” you say, one hand on his arm. “You did nothing wrong, Jungkook. I’m just not in a place where I can be in a relationship.”
“But why not?” His gaze sharpens. “Everything was fine between us until Sunday.”
“Everything was not fine.”
Jungkook pauses, then barrels on. “When you say you can’t be in a relationship… what you’re really saying is you can’t be in a relationship with me.”
“With anyone,” you correct, although you aren’t sure that’s the truth.
Your magic has never been this temperamental. Possibly because this is the first time you’ve fallen in love. Dating someone not Jungkook would be safer, but the thought is abhorrent.
If you can’t have Jungkook, you don’t want anyone. That will be your punishment. Jungkook will move on, fall in love, and be happy with another person. Not you. No one else will compare, and if you can’t now, you doubt you’ll move past this crippling fear.
“You keep telling me that,” Jungkook says, growing heated. “But I’m the one you’re breaking up with, so it’s a little bit about me. You need to give me something, Y/N. Is this about your past? I know you don’t like to talk about your childhood, but I want to know.”
A loud buzzing fills your ears, gaze darting around. You haven’t told Jungkook much about your family, not wanting to invite questions about being an Elemental. The thought of him guessing sparks panic again, and the tea kettle on the stove whistles louder.
“People in my past hurt me,” you say in a rush. Magic itches beneath your skin, begging for escape. “That’s part of it, but not all.”
“What’s all, then?”
Frustration seeps past the wall, and several things happen. Your magic lashes out, a loud noise makes you jump, and the tea kettle shatters while hitting the floor. Water sloshes across the tile, steam hissing as the barista jumps back with a yelp.
Startled, you whirl around. One barista turns off the stove, another grabs a towel while a third finds a broom. Luckily, none of them seem injured – the tea kettle missed their skin. Taking a half-step towards them, you force yourself to stop. Although you want to help, that might make you seem guilty.
Already, the guilt within you is rising. You felt your magic overpowering you and chose to stay. If a barista had been hurt, it would’ve been your fault.
Turning back, you find Jungkook staring at the mess. He looks similarly shocked, twisting the knife in your gut. If he knew you caused this, he’d look at you that differently.
“You see?” you blurt, and he glances in your direction. “Everyone around me gets hurt. I can’t hurt you, too, Jungkook.”
Shoving open the door, you’re halfway outside when his words reach your ears.
“That’s the thing, Y/N,” he says softly. “You already have.”
The door shuts behind you, and you almost make it home before starting to cry. The skies open again above the city.
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“This can’t be a coincidence,” you mutter, staring through the window.
The slightly dilapidated Ramen-rama tables stare back at you until the owner walks past. Catching you standing there, he motions you on.
Somewhat chagrined, you trudge down the sidewalk. Reaching a playground two blocks away, you collapse on a bench and attempt to be rational. Four different interviews. Spread across two different days. Each one ending the exact same.
One crappy interview, even two, and you’d understand. But four crappy interviews in the same way? Something weird is happening. Each interview, you arrived, greeted the owner, answered a few questions, and were thus informed the position was filled.
It wasn’t that you hadn’t gotten a job. It was that your interviewers seemed nervous, staring hard at your resume and never your face. They seemed relieved when you left, as though you were liable to break something for fun.
“Hey. Did you interview this morning at Ramen-rama?”
Startled, you turn and find a stranger beside you.
You don’t recognize him; certainly you’d remember if you met before. Dressed in a Ramen-rama t-shirt, his dark hair is gathered in a bun on his head. His hair makes your chest ache, since Jungkook used to wear his like that.
“Um, yeah,” you say, yanking yourself from your daydreams.
He smiles and nods. “I thought that was you. Listen – I overheard the manager talking this morning on the phone while I was unloading the truck. I think he was talking about you, so I thought I should tell you what I overheard.”
Concerned, you straighten. “Uh, okay. What was he saying?”
“He was talking to your old boss – Pierre? Apparently, he’s calling around and warning people not to hire you. Said that you stole from him, or something. Not sure if it’s the same story for everyone, or if he’s making up shit up in the moment.”
Your jaw nearly drops. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” The guy’s smile turns wry. “I’m assuming none of it’s true. You don’t look like the thieving type, but the boss is running a business, I guess. Can’t be too careful.”
“Right.” You pause, then shake your head. “I didn’t steal, just so you know. A guest was an ass to me, so I dumped water on him – on accident,” you add.
Laughing loudly, the guy clutches his bicycle. “Wow, I’d love to hear that story. Especially the part about it being an accident,” he adds with a wink, sticking out his hand. “I’m Wooyoung.”
“Y/N,” you say as you shake. “So. Pierre is calling people?”
Brow furrowed, Wooyoung pulls back. “Yeah. Sorry I had to tell you like this. Wasn’t sure whether you’d want to know, but figured I should.”
You push yourself to stand. “I do appreciate it. Thanks for telling me.”
“No problem.” Sheepish, he glances down the road. “I should actually get back if I don’t want to lose my job. Delivery,” he explains, nodding towards his bike. “Need the extra income.”
“Makes sense,” you say, forcing a smile. “Good luck.”
Wooyoung nods, then pauses in a way that feels familiar. He’s checking you out, you realize after a moment. Although flattering, it’s instantly followed by a rush of guilt. Wooyoung is cute and in another life, you’d say yes, but in every life, it’s hard not to want Jungkook.
Waving goodbye, Wooyoung climbs onto his bike and takes off. You head in the opposite direction, needing to put distance between you and Ramen-rama. If Pierre is shit-talking you across town, you’ll be hard-pressed to find another job at a restaurant. Owners are notoriously clicky and for how many restaurants there are, there are surprisingly few out of the loop.
Maybe you can ask the coffee shop if they’re hiring. Although you should probably avoid work with water for a bit. This drops your mood, your thoughts turning desperate. You’re so deep in an anxiety spiral, you nearly run into an open door on the sidewalk.
Jerking upright, you stare at faded, golden letters. Creative Courage is spelled in looping cursive over a frosted window. Art supplies fill a display case, while the other is clustered with art of all kinds. You spot sculpture, pottery, painting, and sketches before losing count.
Before you can chicken out, you push open the door.
Stepping in, tiny bells chime to announce your arrival. Soft, ambient light fills the space – a shop that’s two-fold, you realize now that you’re inside. The front sells art supplies while in the back stands a classroom. There’s a class in session now, several artists seated on stools before easels.
“Can I help you?” someone asks, stepping into your path.
Blinking, you focus. “Um, no – thank you! I was just looking.”
“Of course!” The woman beams, reaching up to arrange a clip in magenta hair. “That’s what we’re here for. If you do change your mind, let me know – we’ve got art supplies out front, and classes are held daily in back.”
“Classes?”
“Mhm.” Crossing her arms, the woman nods. “Mostly still life and figure drawing, but we’re hoping to add some more soon. Are you an artist?” she asks, sounding hopeful.
Immediately, you stiffen. “No. At least, not right now.”
Her lips twitch. “Not sure it works like that, unfortunately. Who you are can’t come on and off like a jacket. I like that, though,” she admits with a laugh. “Might borrow it the next time the muses aren’t singing.”
You can’t help but grin. “Exactly.”
Her head tilts, surveying you with unnerving intensity. “My name is Taryn. I co-own this place with my partner, Micah. They’re the one teaching right now.”
“Oh,” you say, somewhat wistful. “That’s nice.”
“Thanks.” Her smile widens. “So, what was your preferred medium? You know, ‘back when’ you were an artist.”
You can’t help but laugh when Taryn lifts her hands to use air quotes. Some people have a way of making you feel included in their jokes, and Taryn is one of them. She teases you in a conspiratorial way, letting you know she understands. People often call art a labor of love, which can be true but more often, it’s a complicated tangle of love, pain and frustration.
“Watercolors,” you admit. “And my name is Y/N.”
Her eyes brighten. “We’ve been meaning to add a watercolor class for ages. Some of our regulars have asked, but Micah and I are both hopeless. Potter,” she explains, gesturing at herself. “And Micah prefers charcoal. Sometimes sculpture.”
“Wow,” you say. “Those are very different.”
“You don’t say.” Taryn laughs. “Micah likes to keep things fresh. What about you? Have you ever taught be– hang on,” she blurts, her eyes going wide. “Did you say that your name is Y/N? As in Y/N Y/L/N?”
Your cheeks heat. “Yeah, that’s me.”
Whirling, Taryn hustles through the front room to duck behind a counter. Digging through several drawers, she pulls out a print to hurry back.
“Is this you?” she demands, thrusting this in your face.
Even cross-eyed and close, you recognize your most popular work. A watercolor series on the majesty and destruction of sea storms. Looking at this makes you feel raw, and so you look up.
“Yep,” you admit. “That’s me.”
Pulling back, Taryn looks at the print reverently. “You’re amazing. Micah was trying to do something similar but couldn’t capture the right feeling.”
Shuffling awkwardly, you shrug. You’ve never felt as though your work deserved acclaim, although it’s nice to know the series resonated with others. One of your favorite aspects of art is how it can be intensely personal but once shared, takes on a universal quality. You find it constantly surprising; how many people seem to share the same burdens.
“Seriously.” Taryn shakes her head wryly. “If you ever wanted to teach a class, let me know. We’d be lucky to have you here.”
“Thank you,” you say, stuffing both hands in your pockets.
You hadn’t realized your desperation was obvious. Or possibly Taryn is just incredibly good at reading others. Truthfully, it’s been a while since you stepped foot in the art world. Even before dating Jungkook, you felt your passion lagging. It’s been a long time since you wanted to connect with your inner voice, although merely the act of being here calls the tide in your blood.
Dangerous.
Recognizing this, you reinforce an inner wall. “I’m sorry,” you repeat. “I’m not really looking for something right now.”
Taryn nods. “Sure. If things change though, just let me know – before next week,” she adds. “We try to publish our class schedule on the first of each month.”
“Will do. Thanks, again.”
“Anytime!” Beaming, Taryn spins to restock the next shelf.
Realizing your conversation is finished, you continue down the next aisle. The shop’s materials are superb, and your fingers are itching to reach out and touch. Reaching the front, you notice a quote painted over the register: Creativity takes courage – Henry Matisse.
You stare at this for a while, unsure why it hurts. Courage isn’t something you’ve thought about in a long time. When you were younger, you pushed people away because it was safe, but now you find yourself wondering who was that for – others? Or yourself?
Maybe the reason you keep yourself separate is because you are afraid people might leave you. Like Katrina. Or Elliot. Or even your dad.
Suppressing magic was hard at the start. Everything about it felt counter-intuitive but you reasoned doing the right thing often took effort. This is what you told yourself, anyways. It made said effort more bearable.
When you first began painting, the relief you felt was immense. After so long spent ignoring your emotions, you found a space to be free. Your series about the sea was oddly therapeutic, working through complicated emotions; your love for the ocean, coupled with fear of its wild beauty. Similar clashes within yourself about magic. And always, always, the desire for more.
For a few hours though, those feelings could be a part of you. Magic could be a part of you, so long as you remained in control – and with brush in hand, you were.
Only now does it occur to you that maybe, this wasn’t healthy. Maybe you shouldn’t feel the need to compartmentalize, as though certain pieces of yourself can only exist in certain spaces.
Tearing your gaze from the words, you exit the shop and gently shut the door. Pulling your jacket tighter, you head down the sidewalk and let your thoughts drift. Jungkook only saw you paint once, but the memory is hard to forget.
You had just started dating, barely past the stage of calling him ‘boyfriend.’ The constant influx of emotion was difficult to manage, and after a few weeks, you were exhausted. Most of your time spent without Jungkook was seated before your canvas. After one particularly frustrating session, you set down your paint to stubbornly stare at the canvas.
A throat cleared from behind.
Startled, you spun and found Jungkook standing there. His gaze moved quickly to yours, but you realized he’d been staring at your half-finished work. Normally, you felt panic at the thought of someone seeing a work in progress. That night though, the look on Jungkook’s face eased your concerns. Awe; pure and clear.
Yanking down giant, over-ear headphones, you hastily stood.
Jungkook lurched forward. “No!” he blurted, only to halt. “I mean – you don’t have to cover the painting. I liked it.”
He seemed flustered, which made you slightly flustered, but you took a slow step sideways. Eager, Jungkook’s gaze traversed the canvas.
Eventually, he looked back. “Sorry about that,” Jungkook said and walked closer. Warm hands found your waist. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“How did you get in?” you laughed, burying your face in his chest.
“Seokjin.” He paused. “Did he not say I was here? I texted you a half hour ago, but you didn’t respond. I figured I’d stop by, and Seokjin said to come up.”
Softening, you made a mental note to chastise Seokjin later. Tightening your arms, you lifted your head and smiled.
“So.” Jungkook glanced over your shoulder. “This is you.”
This sent a thrill down your spine. He spoke as though he’d known you before, but only on a surface level and now, he understood. Jungkook knew your art was part of you, as much as your heart or your soul. You had often felt the same, but never said so out loud.
Magic swelled, and you pushed it back down, but it was difficult. When Jungkook bent his head, you forgot to be scared and let yourself feel. The brush of his lips. The tightening of his hands. The current within you, swelling against your highest walls.
Loudly, someone knocked on the door. Breathless, you jerked backwards and found Seokjin in the door.
“Hey.” He jerked a thumb over one shoulder. “Wanted to let you know our dishwasher broke. Flooded the kitchen.” Pointed, Seokjin looked at you. “Everything is all good, but I’m calling a plumber tomorrow. Carry on.”
In a flurry of embarrassment, you abruptly ended the evening and sent Jungkook home.
Remembering how the night ended, you stifle a groan and walk faster. Once more, you couldn’t control your magic and put Jungkook in danger. Hardly the creative courage Henry Matisse imagined.
You always assumed suppressing your magic was the best choice. But the best choice for who? Certainly not for you, who lives isolated, inert and in fear of yourself. Your dad used to call your magic a gift, but it’s been a long time since you felt that way.
This memory brings with it a sharp stab of pain. Since your dad passed, fear has replaced any joy your magic brought. Fear of falling victim to the same fate he did. Of others’ rejection. Of failing to live up to your father’s example.
You have little doubt that if your dad could see you now, he’d be confused by your actions.
You push others away in the name of saving them. Again, you think of Jungkook and for once you allow it. The entire way home, you wish that he’d call.
He doesn’t though and eventually, you stop hoping.
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By Friday, the threads keeping your feelings at bay are nearly worn through. Intrusive thoughts push against fragile bonds, threatening the haven you’ve carefully crafted.
With more force than needed, you toss clothing into the washer. Your usual laundromat was closed, forcing you to walk five blocks to the next one. Sweaty from suddenly sweltering temperatures, your arms sore from the hamper, the situation does nothing to improve an already crappy mood.
Wiping your forehead with one arm, you slam the door and press start. The machine whirs to life, laundry tumbling in a way reminiscent of your inner turmoil. Up, you did the right thing by ending it with Jungkook. He’ll swiftly move on and find someone else. Down – but you don’t want him to find someone else. You want him to find you.
Teeth gritted, you turn and grab your hamper from the floor. Placing this on the washer, you wearily tug your cell phone from your pocket. By the time you walked home, you’d have to come back, leaving you with forty minutes to kill. You could read more of the book you just started. Or submit your resume to a couple of restaurants.
After yesterday’s disaster at Ramen-rama though, the interview process has stalled. Instead, you’ve found yourself thinking more about Creative Courage. For a brief moment, you even walked into the third bedroom to paint.
You immediately walked back out again, but merely the act was more than you’ve done in months. The thought of creation brought mostly panic, since it’d involve you being honest. Something you haven’t been with yourself in a while.
Because if you were honest, you know what you’d find. You would regret breaking up with Jungkook. Maybe even find that, deep down, you want to be selfish. You want to keep dating him, even if Jungkook gets hurt in the end.
After all, you saw what loving an Elemental did to your mom.
Putting down your phone, you scan the laundromat and find your gaze catching on the person in the next aisle.
No. No, no, no – absolutely not.
The universe – or whoever’s writing your story – must be cruel and unusual, since standing beside you is Jungkook. You’d recognize his head anywhere. Straightening from his hamper, Jungkook turns to face you and goes still.
Eyes wide, he seems stunned until someone slams shut their dryer. Both of you jump, breaking eye contact and time seems to reset. Pressing start on his machine, Jungkook grabs his gym bag and hoists it over one shoulder. He strides towards the exit, halfway there when you spring into action.
Dashing towards him, you cut him off at the dryers. Footsteps slowing, Jungkook meets your gaze with visible confusion.
“Sorry,” he says, tugging his gym bag behind him. The thick, grey strap of it cuts across his hoodie. “I was just leaving. I can come back later if you want to finish your load.”
Again, he tries to move past you, but something inside of you snaps. You aren’t sure what possesses you, but somehow, find your hand gripping his sleeve.
Startled, Jungkook stares.
Equally swift, you withdraw. “I, uh…”
Head spinning, all your words seem to fly out the window. Nothing about this was planned. You have no idea what to tell Jungkook besides I’m sorry, and even this would be woefully inadequate without explanation. Which you can’t give.
“You don’t have to leave on my account,” you say at last.
A singular brow lifts. “No? You didn’t seem to think that way on Wednesday.”
You suppress a wince, although you try your best to hide it. “I know,” you admit. “It’s just… this is your usual laundromat. I don’t want you to leave because of me. I wouldn’t even be here, expect the one near me is broken and –”
“Got it,” he interrupts, the words tight. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have to be.”
Swallowing hard, you stare down at your shoes. You know you deserve this, but it’s just so hard to see Jungkook hurting. He deserves to be happy, not wasting his energy on hating you.
“Okay,” you whisper.
Your eyes start to burn, and you squeeze them shut to prevent a reaction. You absolutely cannot cry in front of Jungkook. Not when you’re the one who started this; the very last thing you want him to feel for you is pity.
“Hey.” Something in his tone shifts, and you hear Jungkook step closer. When you open your eyes, he watches you intently. “What’s wrong?”
A tiny fissure within your chest splinters.
Anyone else could have asked those words, and you would have been able to answer. For Jungkook to do so is unthinkable. You’re the one who ruined this. The one who hurt him, who ended this and still, Jungkook is concerned about your well-being.
“I was fired on Sunday,” you say in a rush. “Before I came to see you.”
He blinks only once before his face hardens. “Before you broke up with me, you mean.”
“Yeah,” you whisper.
Running his tongue over the back of his teeth, Jungkook glances away. His expression is taut, and you feel a sharp pang of envy. It’s so easy to read Jungkook. You’ve spent so long hiding your emotions, it strikes you as luxurious how easily he feels.
A muscle in his jaw tics. “Y/N,” Jungkook says, turning back. “What are you doing?”
“What… do you mean?”
Fear spikes your heart, wondering if Jungkook has finally pieced the facts together. Maybe he saw more than you realized at the coffee shop. Maybe he finally knows what you are.
“Why are you… torturing me?” he clarifies, a slight rasp to his voice. “I don’t know what you want me to say. You were fired? That sucks, but it doesn’t make this okay. It doesn’t make us okay,” he adds, gesturing to the air between you.
“I – I know,” you stammer, nearly blurting out something you’ll regret.
Like that you’re an Elemental teetering close to the edge. One who can feel every pipe, every spin cycle within the walls of this laundromat. All of them churning, pulsing, begging for your magic to release the water inside.
“You know?” Jungkook stares at you, incredulous. “Again, Y/N – what do you want from me?”
Since you started talking, you’ve moved several steps closer. Another breath, another reach and you’d be in his arms. Glancing down, you notice how quickly Jungkook’s chest rises and falls.
He’s afraid, you realize. Jungkook’s fear isn’t the same one as yours, though. He isn’t afraid that you’ll see him, but rather that you’ll destroy him.
Realizing this, a barrier within you crumbles. “It doesn’t matter what I want,” you say, somewhat desperate.
“You keep saying that.” Determined, he steps closer and somehow, your hand entwines with his to press against his chest. “You keep saying you don’t want this, but you won’t tell me why. Won’t tell me anything, Y/N – you were fired, and this is the first time I’m hearing it.”
“I couldn’t tell you!” you blurt. “I can’t explain it, Jungkook, but I couldn’t tell you when it happened.”
His gaze sharpens. “Then, yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe we are better off broken up.”
Releasing you, Jungkook brushes past you and heads for the exit. You stare blankly at the wall before you, your whole world caving in as your head starts to spin. Magic seeps beyond your fractured walls, flooding your veins in desperate search for an exit.
“That’s not true,” you protest, spinning around. “I’ve told you more than anyone else in my life, Jungkook. I’ve let you in in ways no one else has.”
Jungkook stiffens at the door, his entire body taut. For a single, long moment, it seems as though he might reconsider but the longer you stand there, the more you watch the fight drain from the lines of his shoulders.
“I don’t doubt that’s true,” he says, hand hovering above the doorknob. “But that’s not the same as letting me in.”
He starts to go.
Everything around you becomes white noise.
When you were ten, you passed a famous dam on one of your cross-country moves. Your mom took you to see it, swinging your hand while entering the viewing platform.
The moment you saw it, you went wholly still. Trillions of gallons of water, trapped behind concrete, constantly pushing but unable to break. It felt like your magic. Raw, untamed power contained by a solid wall. You stared for longer than any other visitor, until your mom pulled your arm and said you should leave.
The entire way to the car, your mom was silent and once you were buckled in, she twisted around to see you. “Listen to me, Y/N,” she said, her voice serious. “That dam will only work if the wall holds. If the wall breaks, do you know what happens?”
Silent, you shook your head.
“The water will flood the whole valley. Everyone in its path, all the forest – they’d be gone. The wall can’t break, or bad things happen. Do you understand me?”
Solemn, you nodded because even then, you understood. Although your magical dam was intangible, it held equal importance. You had to hold in the magic, otherwise bad things would happen. So long as the wall was in place, you were safe.
Now though, you squeeze your eyes tightly as the wall starts to crumble.
Emotions break with the force of a tidal wave, racing ahead and drowning all in its path. Memories you thought were long buried continue to rise, crushing you further. Your walls are destroyed in a matter of seconds.
You remember your dad, kissing you on the head before leaving the house. Katrina’s stricken expression when the door shut in her face. Jungkook, asking you what he’d done wrong again.
Each memory drags you under, and you shudder against the onslaught. It takes everything you have to remain standing while your restraint dissolves.
Hands grip your arms.
Surprised, your eyes fly open to find Jungkook before you. His neck muscles strain, yelling to be heard over thundering water. You try your best to focus, to rein your magic back in – only to realize with horror, it might be too late.
The laundromat around you is in chaos. Several ceiling pipes have burst, water crashing down in torrents of water. Already, waves lap at your ankles. Noise filters back in, flickering before solidifying to something substantial.
People are screaming, abandoning their hampers in an attempt to get out. The door has stuck though, unable to open under the onslaught of water. Jungkook yells again, and this time you hear him.
“Are you okay?” he bellows, close to your face.
You stare upward, stupefied. Another pipe bursts, and you think that was you, but it’s hard to be sure. Hard to understand which parts are in control and which parts are not. What particular emotion is holding the reins at any moment.
Determination replaces fear in his face, and Jungkook bends before you have time to blink. In an instant, you’re tossed over his shoulder. A yelp escapes, upside-down but he’s already wading through the aisle of washers.
Jungkook shouts at people to move, but no one is listening. After a moment, you feel him exhale and surge forward. Although you can’t see, the people seem to be moving, so Jungkook must appear confident.
Grasping the door, he pulls on it, hard. Nothing happens. Exhaling, Jungkook grips your waist tighter and mutters, “Hold on.”
You don’t have time to ask why, since he yanks harder and the entire frame shudders. Jungkook does this again and another pipe bursts, drawing your gaze. By the time you look back, the door has budged an inch and water is pouring out. With a final wrench, Jungkook yanks open the door.
People shove past him, rushing into the street with the tide of water. Spinning around, Jungkook shields you with his frame from the wet crush of bodies. His grip never wavers, feet anchored to the ground as though they’ve rocks themselves.
With each breath, your pulse slows until finally, you locate the faint threads of magic. Before, you felt too much at once. The crush was overwhelming but now, you manage to breach the surface. For the first time, you see your panic influencing the tide.
Realizing this, you reach inward and try to – turn. With great effort, you identify the source of your power and disconnect. Water in the ceiling slows to a trickle, and then, nothing.
Exhaling against your neck, Jungkook’s hand moves lower.
You can’t help but shiver. “Jungkook?” you murmur into his shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“Could you… you know, set me down?”
“Oh.”
Somewhat sheepish, Jungkook lowers you to face him. He doesn’t step away, and neither do you. If this is the last time you see him, you want to be selfish and make it as long as possible.
He stares back at you, waterdrops caught between his lashes. In the background, water continues to drip from a pipe. The soft plink-plink echoes the thud of your heart.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
Jungkook’s hands remain on your waist, his touch scrambling all semblance of sanity. You aren’t sure how to answer without being honest.
Truthfully, you’re not okay.
An okay person wouldn’t break up with their boyfriend and then, six days later throw themselves in their path. An okay person wouldn’t be hiding their magic, they wouldn’t be lying to the person they love and most of all, wouldn’t continue to place that same person in danger.
Silent, you survey the aftermath of your outburst. Deep down, your magic itches in response to your panic. Seeping outward, it seeks to mold to the fear, but you manage to stop it. Something about the wall being gone makes your power less alien. No longer an unknown variable, but a constant.
“No,” you exhale. Steeling yourself, you take a step backwards. “No, Jungkook, I’m not okay. I… this is exactly why you should stay away from me. Bad things happen, and I can’t control them. I’m so sorry.”
Again, you brace yourself for his anger, but it never comes. Jungkook is unusually quiet, head cocked to one side. He sees right through you, a sensation unnerving enough that you drop your gaze.
“I should go,” you repeat, stepping around him. Reaching your washer, you hastily unload your soggy clothing. “I have to go.”
Jungkook says nothing, although you feel his gaze on the back of your head. Hefting your hamper, you slam the door shut, and turn. The water level at your ankles has dropped, no more than a centimeter remaining in the room.
Sirens wail in the distance, likely on their way to investigate. Your stomach lurches, recognizing the cost of your magic. As soon as possible, you should reach out to Seokjin. His company might be able to cover the damage if the laundromat can’t.
Nearing the exit, you look anywhere but at Jungkook’s face. “I’m sorry,” you repeat, unsure what else to say. “Really, I am.”
Again, he lets you move past. Water rushes out when you open the door, seeking the street, then the gutter. Hurrying past, you can’t shake the feeling something has changed.
Not only with you and Jungkook, but with you and your magic. Silent, you prod the place deep within from which your magic stems. You’re used to a wall, feeling closed off but now, it seems your mom was right.
Once shattered, the dam can’t be rebuilt.
A weightlessness accompanies this that you didn’t anticipate. Despite the terror of your outburst, there was a moment near the end when you stopped it. When you felt what was wrong and controlled your outburst of magic. You haven’t done that before.
The thought is followed by regret, remembering Jungkook. When you broke up, it was supposed to save him. Instead, you’ve only put him – and yourself – in greater danger. Maybe because you’ve continued to see him. Everything would be fine if you moved or kept your distance.
But then, another part of you wonders if you were wrong from the start. Maybe instead of providing distance, you should have come closer. Should have allowed Jungkook to decide whether he wanted to stay. After all, today, he experienced the worst of your powers, and he didn’t run. If anything, he moved closer.
Suddenly exhausted, you hail a cab. The driver grumbles at your wet clothes but allows you inside, and you tip him extra upon reaching your place. What you should do is find another laundromat and finish your load, but there’s an itch in your fingers you haven’t felt in some time.
Dropping your hamper at the door, you shutter yourself within the third bedroom. Not allowing yourself to second-guess, you sit down at your easel and pick up a brush.
For the first time in a long time, you allow the magic to flow. You paint.
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 © kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
Author’s Note: thank you for reading so far! Continued in Part II, here.
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acidsoju · 2 months
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ALICE IN WONDERLAND
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genre: fantasy au, royalty au, multidimentional au, romance, angst, fiction, action, slow burn. pairing: lost prince!soobin x femreader warnings: a lot of plot?, some cursing, alcohol drinking, getting drunk, reader is mentioned to have long hair, ft. yeonjun and beomgyu, violent actions mentioned, mentions of death, a little 'forced proximity' trope, plot's literally reader finding soobin on the streets and adopting him !, reader's implied to be a year or two younger than soobin, reader's parents are mentioned to have passed away, maybe some steamy make out session but nothing else (sorry girlies no smut), tentacles (??? lmao dont ask), kinda rushed in the end if you ask me. word count: 21.1k summary: you were just out for a midnight snack so how did you end up caught with a prince from another world?
BEING QUITE HONEST, SOOBIN DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED. His mind is still quite fuzzy when he opens his eyes, rushed and dispersed memories flashing inside his head as a low whine of pain escapes from his mouth. He remembers being in his carriage, enjoying the relaxing image of the road through his window, the sun was setting. He remembers the carriage coming to a stop that neither he did ask for or was informed, his eyes narrowing at the coachman’s sudden action as he knocked on the carriage’s wall.
He remembers the way the door was thrown open and how what came into sight was not the coachman but three men. He remembers trying to escape, not allowing himself to mourn over the dead body of the coachman lying on the ground, and remembers perfectly well the pain he felt when his fist crashed against one of the man’s faces.
He doesn’t remember what happened after he was knocked out though.
He remembers voices, some lose words and sentences and then waking up at the vertigo he felt down in his guts while falling down a cliff, endless pitching dark ahead of him and then he faints before he reaches the ground.
Now, lying on the cold and damp floor, Soobin wondered if death was supposed to smell this awful? Pushing himself up with his hands, he looks around and squints his eyes. Was he in some kind of dungeon? The distant sound of waterdrops constantly falling was the only sound reaching his ears, besides the ones he made by standing up. Soobin lifted his chin, head looking upwards to the ceiling where the only mere light that stopped him from being completely in the dark came from.
There was a staircase just under that little hole in the ceiling irradiating light… Could that be the stairway to heaven? Soobin did not lose time before going up the steps, carefully, placing his hand against the hole and pushing up when he reached the last of the stairs. He breathes in deeply as fresh air hit his face, peeking through the hole, the scenery in front of his eyes changing completely one he was out.
Stepping out completely out the hole on was he thought was the ceiling, his eyes look around; it was certainly less dark that in the dungeon below, yet there seemed to be no one around. And, if he had to be honest as he always was, it looked nothing like he had picture heaven to be.
His eyes flicked a little further, sensing some movements just a few feet away from him. There, someone! His feet moved on its own towards the small silhouette of what it seemed a young girl; your attention too set on the thing in your hands. Soobin did falter his pace a little when he saw the way you took a bite from that thing; he wasn’t involving himself with some kind of carnivore, right? Your eyes finally seemed to notice the man moving in your direction, him clearing his throat as he stopped in his tracks in front of you.
“Young peasant, could you perhaps enlighten me about if this is heaven?” Soobin did not ignore the way your eyebrows slightly jumped at his words and how you showed clear distrust in your eyes, your mouth never stopping its movements as you chewed.
“Sorry man” you said once you swallowed the little midnight snack on your mouth, your eyes trailing down at the man’s clothes -was he a cosplayer?- and then up at his eyes again. “I’ve got no money.” This time it was your turn to watch how the man’s face twisted in surprise at your speech, eyes blinking uncountable times and mouth opening and closing a few more, lost at words. He was a prince- the crown prince and you dared being so disrespectful.
Soobin did understand he was, in fact, not dead when his stomach roared; a delicious yet unknown smell filling his senses, his eyes immediately following the invisible trail til reaching that thing you held in your hands. If you could eat that, then it meant he could too, right? And if he felt hunger, that meant he wasn’t dead, right?
His eyes lingered on the hotdog a little too much and you noticed it before you could even take another bite, stopping just a few inches before your snack with your mouth hanging open. You could almost see the drool in his mouth as his eyes shone at the sight of your snack and, after hesitating a little, you sigh and offer him the rest of your hot dog.
“Here, you can have it” you say grabbing the man’s wrist after no sign of him moving and placing the hotdog in his hands, pulling your hand away immediately. “It’s really late, mister, you should go back home now" You muttered before turning around on your heels and walking in the direction of your own place.
Soobin stood in his place absolutely froze, his eyes on your figure walking away, his hand warm where the hotdog was placed. Okay, maybe you have been a little rude to him a second ago, but as Soobin takes a shy bite at the hotdog, he is fast to forgive your behavior humming in delight at the fantastic taste. You had been so kind to him as to give him this little piece of meat that melted in his mouth? Giving up your own pleassure for him?
You looked over your shoulder when you heard the sound of hurried steps in your way only to spot the same man rushing in your direction, hotdog still in hand and a little of mustard on the corner of his lips. The man stopped as you turned around to face him, his chest going up and down as he panted and watched you cross your arms over your chest.
“You’re not following me home, aren’t you, mister?” You questioned him, a brow arching inquisitively. He pressed his lips in a thin line, passing a hand over his clothes to make the wrinkles go away; giving away he was, in fact, following you as he adverted your gaze.
“I am certainly not following you, miss, I’m just bestowing over you the honor of my companionship,” you snorted at the way the man in front of you puffed his chest out in your direction, chin tilting up and eyes looking at yours with a power you didn’t really understand; why was this strange man acting as if he was some kind high-up?
“Well, I don’t want your companionship, my lord,” you said, the words leaving your mouth with a notorious sarcastic tint but Soobin’s mouth opened in surprise at them.
“I must let you know I am no baron, miss, but a prince.” your eyes widened at his words. You got it now, everything- man had some loose wires in his head. You had to clear your throat and look away from him, feeling the cringe creeping in your body at his weird way of standing; God, he actually believed he was a prince.
“Look mister- mister prince, just stop following me or I’ll have to report you to the police.”
“Police?” The man tilted his head tasting the familiar word in his mouth. “You mean the guards? Are you, perhaps, a princess yourse-
Soobin stopped talking mid-sentence when your loud laugh erupted, holding onto your stomach and bending as you found the crazy man’s assumptions hilarious. There was no way you were a princess, he thought as he watched you laugh out loud, almost falling to your knees and wiping a few threatening tears on the corners of your eyes until, slowly, your laugh died down.
“Man, you’re so funny!” you beamed, lifting up a thump up in his direction and then clearing your throat, suppressing your amused smile. “I’m sorry to break it to you but I’m no princess,” shrugging, you started turning on your heels again to resume on your way back home, lifting an accusatory finger in the man’s direction. “Seriously, mister, don’t follow me anymore or I’ll report you to the police.”
“Who is this police you talk about, miss?” he inquired, taking a step in your direction as he feared you were going to leave. “Maybe they rule here?” You hummed for a second, thinking about it before nodding your head to the man and mumbling a simply yup, his eyes shining in relief at your answer. “Take me to them.”
“Wha-
“I must talk with the ruler of your kingdom, young peasant.” He stated, the solidity in his words and eyes softening a little after a few seconds of silence on your part. “If you may be so generous, once more, to show me the way?” he talked again, his tone a little more delicate as his big eyes stared intently into yours.
A tired sigh escaped from your lips, what time was it already? Your eyes trailed the man’s silhouette for the second time in the strange night you were having, taking in the way his clothes were stained, stinky and even torn on the ends; his face didn’t look that good either as his hair was ruffled and stiff, probably from the same thing that had drenched his clothes, and if you squinted your eyes, even in the middle of the night, you could tell he had some tired and bewildered eyes, yet still they shined with a little tint of hope.
“Fine, I’ll take you to the police.” You gave in massaging the back of your neck with your hand as he smiled grateful at you, taking a few steps closer until he stood next to you. You started walking with him following your steps into the police station’s direction, both of you in silence and you failing to notice the way the man long legs took shorter steps to walk in synch with you. The main building came in sight not so long after as it wasn’t even that far away from where you were, stopping in front of the entrance you turned your head to look at him. “Here it is.”
“Let us go in.” He said, before he was going up the entrance stairs and turning back to look at you remaining on the same spot, eyebrows furrowing a little at your unmoving self. “Come on now, peasant, don’t be modest. I’m sure the kind police would grant you a hearing as well.”
You blinked a few times while processing his words. You didn’t move from your place because you had all the intentions of dropping the prince at the police station and returning home. You did not agree going in with him so why were you actually following him inside the building? Soobin let you go in first, even holding the door open for you and followed closely behind you, eyes looking everywhere in curiosity, especially noticing the pattern in some people’s clothes.
You walked the boy closer to where some police officer sat down behind his desk, his unfaced eyes scanning you then the boy on your back that was still too caught up looking around to notice the unwelcoming stare of the adult in front of you. “Hello, officer.” You mumbled addressing the man who nodded yet remained silent. “See this guy over here? He’d really like to speak with you.”
At your words, Soobin peeked effortlessly over your shoulder to look at the man. “Are you the one in charge here, good sir?” He inquired, politely making a small bow with his head at the man whose eyebrows raised a little.
“You could say that, kid, what happened to you?” asked the police officer, eyes looking at the state of his clothes, nose scrunching at the horrendous smell reaching his nostrils.
“Oh, sir! I am finding relief finally knowing someone who can help me!” Exclaimed the prince allowing himself to seat on the chair at the other side of the desk; you barely nod your head for yourself as you thought that your job here was done and that it was finally time for you to go get some rest. “I seem to find myself far away from my home? Do you perhaps know the Fifth Great Kingdom of the Choi Dynasty? Is it too far away from this mundane village we are now?”
You were already turning towards the door when you heard the man sigh heavily. Peeking at his reaction, the police officer brushed a hand through his tired face, eyes perking up at the man in front of him and then to you, making you flinch in your spot at the annoyance in his eyes. “Listen up, kids, we’re busy people and do not have time for any kind of silly joke you’re playing right now. Why don’t you go back home? It’s really late for you both to be roaming around, understood?”
“That is exactly what I need help with, sir, to return home!” Soobin exclaimed, a little bit of exasperation in his voice. The police officer shook his head and got up, his hand making a visible move to the handcuffs hanging from his belt. Soon, your hand found the prince’s wrist and pulled him up, rushing towards the door.
“We’ll go now, sir, sorry for taking your time!” You squealed, ignoring the way the rest of the people inside the building gave you looks that went from ‘it’s two in the morning, why are you two still out?’ to ‘I will not hesitate to put you behind bars if you’re causing any disturbance in my neighborhood, kid.’
Your hand let go of Soobin’s wrist as soon as the both of you stepped back outside, the warmth of the police station quickly fading from your bodies and instead being hugged by the chilly air of the morning early hours. Over the adrenaline ringing and the bangs from your heartbeat in your ears, you heard the prince next to you muttered something like:
“Oh, I am signing for war when I get back.”
You turned your head to look at him only to feel a little guilty even thought nothing of all the things happening were your fault. Still, it was sad to see a person looking so lost; his eyes were still glued to the building in front of you but you could tell that they were actually somewhere else, somewhere far away. You watched the way the tip of his ears had turned bright pink as well as his cheeks and tip of the nose probably because of the cold, the torn clothes not providing him of any warm and comfort.
You would be probably crazy to let him crash at your place, right? This strange man that you had barely got to know for a just an hour, who was probably crazy, his mind far away trapped in a little fantasy word he created and that he assured was from, who could possibly be a serial killer? What even was his name?
You couldn’t, right?
And somehow you still found yourself turning your whole body to him, a long and defeated sigh coming out of your lips, stretching your hand, an open palm, in his direction and clearing your throat to get his attention back from wherever his mind was. His head turned in your direction, revealing the pitiful look on his face, knitted eyebrows and a small pout on his lips, an anxious look on his eyes that shifted to confusion as they moved down at your hand.
“Your… name,” you said clumsily, swallowing the awkwardness you felt under his confused eyes. “What is it?” Soobin’s eyes went up again to meet yours, just realizing he had yet to introduce himself to you, the only generous person he had crossed paths in the new world he found himself.
His hand swiftly grabbed yours but instead of shaking it, he rotated it with his own and lifted it up to his face. At the same time, the tip of his left foot touched the ground behind his right foot, kneeling in front of you until his face was at the same height of yours, dark yet shiny eyes staring into yours over your hand hanging closer to the bottom of his face. It tingles, you thought, there where his breath falls over my hand. His plump and cold lips pressed a soft kiss on your knuckles, eyes never looking away from yours.
“I am Choi Soobin from the Choi Dynasty, rulers of the Fifth Great Kingdom and crown prince of it as well.” He said once his lips left your hand standing normally again and softly letting go of your hand. “I am very sorry for the late introduction, miss, I must have been pretty out of my mind.”
“O-oh, no,” you mumbled trying to appease the creeping rush in your cheeks as the warm in your hand lingered longer than you had expected. “it’s fine, don’t sweat it.” Soobin nodded slowly at you, his eyes looking into yours expectantly and then you realized he did not know your name either. “Oh! Sorry,” you proceeded to tell him your name, smiling softly after it; yours was simpler.
“Y/n…” he said, savoring your name in his mouth, eyes looking into the sky getting lost again before he nodded his head slowly, more to himself than to you. “I will remember it as you have shown a great amount of generosity to me.”
“... Sure. Look, it’s really late and it will get even colder, would you like to spend the night at my place?” You asked noticing the way his mood lifted immediately. “I bet it’s not as big as your castle but it’s better than sleeping on the streets…” you stammered, feeling embarrassed at yourself, why were you talking about castles now?
“I shall take you up on your offer, miss y/n.” he said feeling grateful towards you once again, a tiny smile spreading on his face while you turned your back to him and started walking, stopping when you noticed him not following.
“Come on then, prince, we should get some rest for today.” Soobin rushed towards you and adjusted the pace of his steps to yours once more. “I think it’d be good if you wash up when we get there… you kinda, well, stink.” Soobin felt his cheekbones heating up at your words; he had never ever been told that he stunk. All that he ever received were praises from his parents, from his friends, from the teachers, from the people of the kingdom, so the reaction you obtained was a shy laugh and him mumbling sorry softly under his breath.
Neither of you spoke again until you both were going up the staircases of the complex you lived in. After what felt like infinite stairs up, you stopped in front of a door with the oxidating numbers 405 in it, your head turning to look at him with a tired and apologetic expression. “I’m sorry, we’re almost there, I just really need to get something from the guy that lives here, would you wait for me over there, please?” Soobin couldn’t say no, after all you were letting him, a complete stranger, sleep at your home, so the boy walked away a little and waited patiently as you knocked on the door once, twice, thrice, a couple of times increasing even more each time.
The door swung open revealing on the other side a sleepy boy rubbing his eyes that he barely could open to look at your figure standing in front of him. Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes closing again at the intensity of the yawn escaping his lips. “Babe? What’s wrong? It’s three in the fucking morning.” He mumbled, voice deep and raspy from being just woken up, leaning against the frame of his door and reaching a hand to rest on the top of your head. The sleepy guy finally seemed to notice the presence of the other boy standing behind you, his eyes looking with curiosity. “Oh? Is he with you? Or is he bothering you?”
“He’s with me, Junie.” You answered, smiling softly at your friend and snuzzling at his hand trailing down from the top of your head to your cheek. “Sorry I woke you up but I need help with something…” Yeonjun hummed for you to continue talking, his warm fingers trying to make the coldness of your face disappear. “Could you lend my friend some clothes?” The boys’ gazes met, both of them looking down at each other’s attires; Yeonjun getting immediately why you were asking him that, Soobin wondering if such clothes could even fit him. “And some underwear too, please? I can buy them if you need."
Yeonjun chuckled softly at you and squeezed your cheek in between his fingers, stretching your pretty skin to his heart’s desire. Soobin wondered if that man was your fiancé, he was not, right? Why would you offer him to sleep at your place if you were already taken? But then again, what was your relationship with him to let him touch you so carelessly? Is that how things worked in this little strange and rude world?
“I’ll get that for you, babe, wait here, ‘kay?” Yeonjun leaned in, pressing a tender kiss on your forehead, his eyes shifting from the softness he looked at you with to a cold stare looking into the strange man’s eyes, and then walking back inside his complex leaving you alone with the prince.
“Miss, I am sorry to pry but could it be that man is your husband to be?” Asked Soobin breaking the silence the both of you were engulfed at. The look you gave him over your shoulder clearly answered his question and he looked away feeling a bit ashamed for being such a noisy person.
Yeonjun came back soon after with a paper bag in his hand filled with all you had asked for. Mumbling a soft thank you to him, you were ready to continue your way up the stairs with the prince when Yeonjun’s voice made you stop on your tracks.
“He’s crashing at your place tonight?” he questioned scratching the spot under his jawline, receiving a short nod from you. “Mmh, ‘kay babe, call me if you need anything else.”
You heard the door shutting softly while you walked up the stairs, after a while finally reaching your own complex, the door with the number 913. After unlocking it, you pushed it open and trailed a single hand on the wall searching for the light switch, pushing the little lever up with your index finger, warm light immediately making the darkness from your apartment disappear. Soobin followed you in, his eyes as always looking around at everything with curiosity.
“Fuck, it’s so late,” you muttered, your eyes glued to the clock on your wall marking three twenty-five in the morning. “Shoes off, please,” you said, your eyes moving to the prince’s dirty shoes, he rushing to take them off just as you had done. “Let me show you the bathroom so you can wash yourself. Here,” you pushed the paper bag at him, his fingers barely brushing your hand before you let go of it and walked down a tight hall, turning on the lights as you walked.
Soobin followed you close and silently, listening carefully to every instruction you gave him. You were quite bossy, he thought as you told him where to leave his dirty clothes and to call for you when he was done, leaving him alone after a last glance at him.
You heard water crashing against your bathtub floor from your bedroom, quickly changing into some clothes to sleep and grabbing the mat from inside your closet, taking it with you to the small living room and placing it down on the ground after pushing the couch away a little. You walked from the living to your bedroom a few more times, taking with you some bedcovers and pillows for the boy to sleep a bit more comfortable.
Your head turned to the hall when you heard the bathroom door opening, the prince emerging from it with a steam cloud on his back. You had to actually squint and rubbed your eyes at the sight of him; was he the same person? The crazy prince from before was nowhere to be seen in the man in front of you, Yeonjun’s clothes fitting him perfectly, no more stinky smell, no more strained clothes, no more stiff hair. Instead, his hair fell over his eyes still dripping some waterdrops from the shower.
“I’m done, miss y/n,” he said, smiling softly at you and tilting his head a little to meet your eyes; wasn’t he ridiculously tall? “I also left the clothes where you told me to... What is wrong, does this clothing not fit me?” he questioned analyzing the little amused look on your face. You quickly shook your head, looking away from him and putting another step of distance between each other.
“You can sleep here tonight,” you pointed at the spontaneous bed you made on the floor, from the corner of your eyes watching him nod while taking in the sight of it. Soobin quickly got under the bedcovers you had put for him, hair falling softly framing his face as he placed his head on the pillow, eyes looking up at you, fatigue taking over his features. “Is it alright? Maybe sleeping on the floor is a bit…”
“This is perfect, miss,” he mumbled, eyes weighting down, lazy smile fighting to remain on his face. “Thank you so much for everything, really.”
You only hummed as you walked towards the wall, turning off the light and mumbling a soft goodnight, prince before walking to your own bedroom.
Just then, finally having found some warmth and comfort after everything that went down, Soobin’s cheeks got wet from the tears trailing down from his eyes, his teeth chewing at his bottom lip trying to hold the sobs, and himself too exhausted to even cry the way he deserved, falling asleep with no sign from the tears of stopping any time soon.
-
Five hours is all you got of sleep that night, your body immediately falling into slumber when it touched the comfort of your bed, a hell of a whole ride for only a midnight snack if someone were to ask you.
When you woke up the next morning you actually thought you had had just one of the craziest fucking dreams of your life, but soon you realized it hadn’t been a dream; first, it was walking into the bathroom and instantly gagging at the putrid smell of the clothes placed neatly on a corner; secondly, was the soundly sleeping prince on your living room, soft snores coming from his half-opened heart-shaped lips.
So now you had a complete strange man in your complex who firmly believed he’s some kind of prince- no, crown prince of a kingdom and you still had to go to class? What a hilarious world, you thought, your mind wondering if in his world college students existed for suffering too.
“Please… don’t… rub me… I’m a broke… student…” you wrote down on a single piece of paper, mumbling the words under your breath and smiling as you drew a little smiley face on it, then sticking the note to the arm of the couch next to the sleeping beauty.
When Soobin woke up later in the morning, almost not morning anymore, he knew immediately all that had happened was real; his puffy eyes moving around for any sign of you, spotting instead the little note on the couch that was directed to him:
‘mornin’ prince, sorry I had to leave first got some things to do, feel free to have some fruit from the kitchen but please don’t rub me, I’m a broken student :)’
Soobin chuckled softly at your words and put the note back where you had put it, feeling too lazy to get up yet, his mind wandering over and over again at everything that happened in last than twenty-four hours. Are they worried? Do they think I died? Have they told the people of the kingdom yet? Have they caught the responsibles? Why did they do this to me? Can I go back?
Soobin forced himself to stop thinking when he felt the hard pang in his chest and his throat tightening at the scary thought of never seeing his family again. Maybe he’d have some fruit.
The prince arched an inquisitive eyebrow as his eyes scanned your disaster of a kitchen, then landing on the basket with fruits over a counter, picking up an apple and washing it while completely ignoring the dirty dishes all over the sink. If you weren’t doing your dishes, why would he?
He allowed himself to take a seat on your couch, enjoying the taste of his favorite fruit, his mind flowing with thoughts again. Should he wait for you to come back or just go away now? It would probably be very impolite of him to go away without a proper goodbye, he thought, agreeing with himself. But just what time were you coming back? His fingers brushed again the note on the couch’s arm, picking it up to read it once more; you didn’t say what time you were coming back, so what was he supposed to do?
The image of the boy from last night appeared on his mind as quickly as he got himself from the couch and walked down the stairs, remembering the number of the door and soon reaching it, knocking on it just like you had done last night, once, twice, thrice, again and again, until the door flew opened.
“Uuh?” Yeonjun frowned at the prince, his eyes looking down at his own clothes, damn he had style. “Nice clothes, man.”
“I suppose they are not quite bad,” said Soobin, lifting up his chin at the boy whose eyebrows jumped at his speech, looking at the prince funnily.
“And just from what fairytale did y/n take you from, mh?” Yeonjun crossed his arms over his chest, a lazy grin on his lips. Soobin unknowingly pouted at the mention of your name so carelessly.
“Do you happen to know which time is miss y/n coming back?” he made sure to emphasized the correct way you should be treated. Yeonjun hummed a little too long, his lips pouting while thinking.
“I do.”
“Well? Tell me.”
“Not telling ya’” Yeonjun stuck his tongue out at the man playfully, earning a soft gasp of indignation from Soobin and a taken aback look. “If she didn’t tell you there must be for a reason, no?”
“She might have just forgotten to add it.” Soobin mumbled, eyebrows knitting in frustration; he did not like this boy, not one bit. ”I will wait for her either way, I just wish to know when she will be back.”
Yeonjun sighed, rolling his eyes already tired from hearing the formal speech of the boy, not even his grandmother spoke that way and she was like, ancestral. “She’s back in a few hours, man, so find something else to do while you wait” Yeonjun then realized the boy was just doing that and scoffed in his face dumfounded. “You were bored, huh? Do I look like some nanny to you?”
“You quite do, actually,” answered Soobin knowing that would have the boy in front of him ticking; Yeonjun licked his lips, an amused smile spreading on his face before he took a step away from his door, allowing the young prince to step into his own little world.
“You said you liked the clothes, right?” he asked, closing the door after Soobin got into his complex, the prince looking around pointing in his mind at every difference between yours and his. Your place was way tidier than this one, even thought it had been a little too small for his imagination. Yeonjun’s place seemed even smaller, crampier, the walls were covered by drawn papers and the prince noticed how fabrics were all over the place.
Yeonjun dragged Soobin down the small hall and inside a new room filled with half-dressed and stabbed with needles mannequins. “Since you’re my precious friend’s friend I’ll make something nice for you, whatya’ think? Aren’t I the nicest?” Yeonjun grinned at the prince and approached him, a measuring tape in his hand falling long to the floor. “You look way better than last night, dude… the magic of water and soap.” Soobin scoffed at the words, he is an hygienic man, he just had the terrible luck of magically appearing in the sewers. Still, being kind enough to ignore Yeonjun’s words, the prince let him took his measures, obediently lifting his arms when told to. Even thought Yeonjun was particularly rough, it was a nice feeling, something familiar he had done countless of times back at home.
Yeonjun walked around the room after dropping the measuring tape somewhere on the floor carelessly, moving in between the mannequins with a hand on his chin while his eyes jumped through his pieces. He grabbed and dropped cloth after cloth, muttering to himself, walking to a wardrobe and stirring its inside, until Soobin heard a small ‘ah-a! here you are’ and pulled a strange looking shirt, black leather on a side, brown leather on the other.
“Want you to try some things for me,” he said, pulling his best smile for the prince before letting the clothes fall on his hands. Soobin pursed his lips, he had not received so many orders in his life like this since, well, ever. But Soobin understood common decency perfectly well as he had been taught by the best teachers in the kingdom and was not to refuse the people who had shown him enough generosity the past hours’ requests.
Soobin stripped out of his clothes, not minding Yeonjun was still in the room as he was used to people lingering around and helping him changing his clothes; on the other hand, Yeonjun didn’t mind the man stripping in front of him either, as he had got used to sudden nudity after a while of designing clothes and putting them on people. He hummed, nodding proud at the way his clothes hugged the prince’s body and even walked around his figure, analyzing every inch.
“You could be a model,” Yeonjun stated, proud at his creations. “You already are ridiculously tall, and the rest of your body proportions are good.” He opened some silk curtains revealing a big wall mirror on the corner of the room and motioned for the prince to come close. “Here, take a look, what do you think?” Yeonjun patted the prince’s shoulder before walking away, leaving him alone to look at his own reflect.
The clothes looked more nicely that he had initially thought; they were something new, yes, but they looked good on him. The leather hugging his body perfectly well and allowing him to move enough; his fingers brushed against the material, tracing the unusual division on his chest shaping a triangle. The pair of dark, baggy jeans he had wore also did fit well, he liked them, he looked nice and he seriously began wondering about implementing this ideas on his own personal clothes.
His thoughts abouth the clothes on him quickly disappeared when his eyes caught something strange reflecting behind him… What was that purple spark growing bigger and bigger by second? Soobin looked over his shoulder, there was nothing behind him, Yeonjun long gone from the room. When he turned back, he had to bit down his own tongue at what he saw in the mirror, could it be that he was going insane? Standing next to him stood a way too familiar figure, its shape too foggy to be true, his usual big grin on his face and tired, big and dark bags under his eyes.
“Well, hello there, my good old friend” said the figure, hand pressing on his chest as he bowed his head to the stunned prince on the mirror. Soobin gasped at the clear sound of his voice rumbling inside his head.
“Beomgyu” muttered the prince, trying to touch the image of his friend on the mirror with his own hand, only coming in contact with cold glass. “How-
“What do you mean, how? Why would you be friends with the best mage of the Kingdom if you are not willing to trust in his abilities?” the man snarled, eyes shining in mischief as usual as his dark eyebrow arched, long hair pulled away from his face on a ponytail. The smile on his face faltered a little, eyes closing for a second as he sighed before speaking again, less playfulness and more pain in his voice this time. “Everyone thinks you are dead, Soobin, the Queen’s- the Queen’s falling apart.” Soobin felt his heart banging painfully at his friend’s words. “I knew you were still alive, it made no sense we couldn’t find your body… turns out you are really, really far away.”
“How far away?” questioned Soobin, dreading the answer from the look on his friend’s eyes.
“Dimensionally far away,” Beomgyu sighed, rubbing his temples as if the mere thought of it made his head hurt, which it did. “But do not worry, Your Highness, I am currently working on a way for you to come back, only… it’s taking more time that I had hoped for, actually…” Beomgyu’s corner of his lips trailed down, annoyed at the fact of admitting something was resulting actually difficult for him, Best Mage of the Kingdom, him who was born gifted. “Oh! And one more thing,” the mage remembered the one little important thing he had to tell his friend, hands clasping and big smile spreading in his face. “It may be possible that the ones who did this to you are forbidden mages and they may be on their way to where you are, so be careful! I’ll contact you again with good news, toodles!”
While the image of his friend simply dispelled, Soobin stood in his place looking at his alone reflection with his mouth slightly open after the new information he had just received, especially the last bit; they were still coming after him? They sure didn’t want him just gone but dead. Not only that but he was facing against forbidden mages, the only ones he did not know how to fight against. Soobin, on the contrary of Beomgyu, had not been born with the blessing of magical powers; he had the power of the crown on his shoulders, he had been trained by the best swordsmen in the kingdom, he had been taught by the best teachers of his domain, he had been provided by the best alchemists on items to protect himself against magical powers, but he did possessed them.
“Hey, were you talking to someone?”
Soobin flinched, quickly turning around and grabbing the first thing around; a large piece of wood with fabric around it. Yeonjun looked funnily at the boy and raised a hand, biting down a laugh. “Easy, boy, I come in peace.” Soobin grimaced apologetically at the man, a little ashamed by his reaction but he felt on edge, and then letting the fabrics back on its place. His eyes going at Yeonjun again and particularly at the pair of boots in his hand. “I was getting these babies- now look here, this are my most precious treasure so I’m only borrowing them to you, understood? I want them back and I want them just as clean, but I can’t let you go out ruining my outfit with a pair of shoes that don’t go with it.” Yeonjun clicked his tongue before placing softly the pair of boots in front of Soobin.
Soobin did not look back at the mirror to check his reflection once he put the boots on, trusting Yeonjun’s judgement that they looked good when he started clapping, pleased at his work of art. A big smile was drawing in his face before speaking again. “You ready?” The question making Soobin frown not really getting what the man was talking about.
“Excuse me, ready for what exactly?”
“You wanted to see y/n, right? Let’s go find her then!”
Soobin guessed that it was common in this world to grab at people and pulled them, because not only he had been dragged by you once but know he was being dragged by Yeonjun down the stairs and into the streets. The prince’s eyes wildered at his surrounding; at night everything had seemed so relaxed, barely any people around at two in the morning and no traffic; now he didn’t know where to look, from the strange type of carriages without horses that made some sounds from time to time startling him to the rare vehicle Yeonjun pointed at. “Get on.”
“W-what?” Soobin muttered, not really understanding where was he supposed to get up. Yeonjun arched an eyebrow and pressed a helmet to the prince’s chest.
“On, I’m taking you where y/n is.” Yeonjun climbed onto his motorcycle, quickly adjusting the helmet around his head and hurrying at the boy to the same. Soobin clumsily copied his movements, crossing one leg over the seat and grabbing Yeonjun’s shoulder tightly in his palms when they were off to the street. Yeonjun laughed when he heard the small woah behind his back.
The air hit against Soobin’s face as he peeked over his driver’s shoulder, watching the city passing through his eyes, everything turning into a blur, something roaring under him as they went even faster dodging the cars around you. It kind of reminded him of horse-riding, the way he would ride everywhere in his free time, enjoying the clear air filling his lungs with the good company of his horse.
Yeonjun started slowing down as your university came into sight and stopped in front of the big building, sea of people coming in and out of it. Turning off the engine, his eyes surfed the crowd looking for you and lifted a finger in your direction once you came into his sight. “Just in time, there she is.” He said to the prince who followed the way Yeonjun’s fingers pointed.
Soobin had to admit the way you looked the night before and the way you were looking now were complete opposites; just as you had been wearing last night some old pajama pants and a big hoodie that covered your hands, now wore a fitting pair of blue jeans that fell lose to the ends hiding most of your plain white shoes and a sleeveless maroon blouse that hugged your body nicely, your long hair falling swiftly besides your face, in a framing way and forming a kind of layer over the exposed skin on your shoulders. You were cracking a laugh, eyes closing at the action, throwing your head back and your hand rising up to cover your mouth. You looked incredible as you talked, regaining a relax composure to your friends, smile still reaching your eyes.
Soobin had met many beautiful women in his life as the castle was always point of reunion for most, but there was something in the way you carried yourself- something shouting out loud a thing he had failed to notice in anyone else; freedom. And that was something he sometimes felt he lacked.
He found himself so immersed in the image of you that he failed to notice Yeonjun getting off his motorcycle and removing his helmet, letting it hang on its grabs. “Come on, let’s say hi."
The boys walked towards you, you too engulfed in your conversation with your friends to even notice them approaching yet they didn’t fail to attract everyone else’s attention, even your friends who suddenly stopped their talking and were staring intensely to whatever was behind you. Frowning, you looked over your shoulder, eyes widening at the side of the two men staring back at you.
“So. Hot.” You heard one of your friends mumbling under her breath, making you bit your own tongue and squint your eyes to prevent the cringe on your body from escaping. “Doesn’t it look their coming this way, though?”
“Hey babe,” said Yeonjun grinning at your dumbfounded-self, feeling the burning stares of your friends on your back at his words. Turning on your heels to face the boys, you saw the prince following behind your friend and peeking over his shoulder, a soft smile on his lips as he walked ever so graced. “Happy to see us?”
“Why are you here?” you questioned, trying to make your voice quieter for your prying friends behind you. Your eyebrows knitting when you saw the prince walking away from Yeonjun’s back and stepping to his side, both men in front of you; noticing his new clothes you couldn’t stop your inquiring eyebrow lifting at your friend who only shrugged.
“Man was bored waiting for you, babe, and came to have some fun with me,” Yeonjun licked his lips before resting his arm around Soobin’s shoulders, the prince visibly cringing and tensing on his spot. “I made my job now, got him all dolled up for ya’, so why don’t the two of you go have some fun?” Your frown deepened.
“Wha- Yeonjun I’m still not over my classes-
“Oh, would you look that? Professor Kim notified he’s not feeling well today and postponed the class!” you heard your friends behind you saying, ridiculously loud and obvious for the two men to hear. Yeonjun’s grin only grew bigger and finally let go of the prince as he started backing up to his motorbike.
“Isn’t that destiny?” teased your friend, sending a flying kiss in your direction before he was gone too quickly to even try to catch him.
“Hello again, miss y/n,” Soobin made the attempt to hold your hand and even set himself ready for another bow but you quickly grabbed his shoulders and stopped him, getting near him so suddenly he immediately felt the soft scent of your shampoo reaching his smelling senses; you, on the other hand, were too focused on looking over your shoulder at your friends with a forced smile to realized the way the prince’s heart beat anxiously on his chest as your so sudden and casual proximity.
“I’ll go first, okay?” you mumbled to your friends who just nodded and formed circles with their fingers, telling you that you were fine. You turned your head, looking up at the prince who was already looking at you through his eyelashes, the soft smile on his lips unbeatable. “Are you hungry? Let’s go get some lunch so we can talk, Soobin.”
It wasn’t like Soobin wasn’t ever called by his name, he was by his closest friends and his parents, but he did not except the way his name would sound said by you so forgive him for staring blankly for a second over your head, after what it was a long, extended blink from his part, lips softly parting unconsciously. You, however, missed seeing it as you started walking first to the closest and cheapest food place you knew, Yeonjun’s granny’s ramen place.
“Oh, my! Oh, my! My sweet child!” Even thought the woman was already way past her late 70s, she had the sight of a hawk and the mobility of a thirty-year-old, so she spotted you immediately as you walked into her local. Rushing in wiping her hands on her apron, she walked out of the counter and held her hands up to cup your cheeks, smiling big at you, same eyes as your friend’s looking teary and tenderly into yours. “Look at how much you’ve grown, my god! So? What’s your lame excuse for not visiting your ol’ good granma often, kid? Is it school? Are they overworking your smart pretty brain? Do I need to go teach them a lesson? Just say the word and I’ll be there… I’ll take Junie with me- Oh! And who is this handsome boy with you?” Not even letting you speak, Granny let go of your cheeks and walked closer to the prince, adjusting the frame on her face and squinting her eyes to get a better look at his face even thought she could see him perfectly well. “Not bad, not bad at all! Is this your boyfriend? Yes, very handsome indeed… I like him- Oh! Sit down kids, sit down. I’ll go get some food for you, okay? Okay. be right back.”
Granny walked away after pinching your cheeks one more time. Chuckling softly, ignoring the warm in your cheek where you had been pinched, you sat down on an empty table against the wall of the local, Soobin taking the seat in front of you.
“Your grandmother, I believe?” He questioned and you had to actually contain the amused snort at the perfect posture the man held while sitting, trying to subtly fixing your own.
“She’s Yeonjun’s granny,” you answered, soft smile on your lips at the thought of her, your chin resting on the palm of your hands while you remembered those times from your childhood where you would come into this same place, running around with Yeonjun, eating happily the bowls of ramen Granny would made especially for the both of you; same routine for high school that started wearing off as Yeonjun and you started college, schedules not matching as much anymore. “She’s an angel, really, used to take care of me all my life.” A soft sigh escaped from your lips unconsciously. “You could say she even raised me.” You mumbled, more to yourself than to the boy sit in front of you.
Soobin tilted his head, hair shifting swiftly over his eyes. “What about your parents?” You were dragged out of your cloud of memories with his question, focusing your attention back on him before simply answering.
“They died a long time ago.”
“Oh.”
Well, now it felt kind of awkward. Not for you, though, you had grown up saying that about your parents, it was an inevitable topic and as time flew by the words lost their weight. Soobin, on the other hand, mentally cursed at himself for being so nosy, his mind selfishly remining him of his own, heartbroken parents that believed their only son was dead. “I am so sorry…” he whispered, eyebrows knitting and mouth slightly pouting. You shook your head, smiling at him reassuringly.
“Don’t be, at least in my case is not as awful as it sounds, I still was able to grow with so much love thanks to the people around me,” just as if summoned, Granny placed two big and full, steaming bowls of ramen on the table. Smiling at the familiar sight of the noodles, your eyes flicked up to look at her. “Thanks Granny, this looks delicious.”
“It better be because I made it with my love, child.” The woman placed a tender kiss on your head before her eyes went back to the prince, eyeing curiously the place in front of him. A loud laugh erupted from her. “My boy if I had to take a guess, I’d said you had never seen ramen in your life!”
At least Soobin was smart enough to hold himself from answering to the woman he had, in fact, never even heard the world; smile widening at the sight of the expecting lady whose big eyes were waiting for him to taste her food, he made sure to quicky copy your movements grabbing the chopsticks in his hand and, very slowly trying to get a hold of them, picking up some noodles in them, his lips closing around the sticks.
“Mh!” Granny laughed even louder as the boy widened his eyes, stars sparkling in them as he looked up at her in awe, noodle hanging from his mouth. “This is magnificent, miss! I must know the ingredients you use.”
“Oh, my! What miss?” You rolled your eyes as Granny fanned herself, clearly adoring being referred as a term she so long stopped hearing. “Eat more kids, I’ll bring seconds when you finish these.” Soobin nodded enthusiastically at her words, slurping eager and filling his mouth with the delicious meat. “As for the recipe, I already told you, love.”
“I guess you were hungry,” you said once Granny walked away from your table, leaving the two of you to talk alone. Soobin felt his cheeks heating up, ashamed at himself for losing his composure and in front of a lady; he wiped his mouth with a tissue, apologetically eyes looking at you.
“I’m sorry miss, this is just fantastic,” he said, mouth still covered with the tissue. Your eyebrows knitted and you couldn’t help but to wonder seriously about his state of mind as he continues speaking. “We have the best chefs and ingredients of the Kingdom yet never have I had something as fascinating as this,” Soobin put down the tissue and flash a big grin in your direction, putting on display a pair of dimples on each side of his face that got you too caught on them far too quickly. “This is yet another great thing you’ve showed me about your world, I thank you very much.”
“You’re… welcome,” you honestly didn’t know how to address the whole prince thing yet; could it be better if you just went along with it? “So, when are you planning on going back to your Kingdom, prince?”
Maybe going along with it wasn’t the best option, you thought as you watched his features somber. Maybe all you had to do was drop the man to a psychiatric hospital and end all of this. “That’s something I still do not know yet, miss but do not worry, I received a message from the Head of the Magic Tower, a good massage as he informed they are working on getting me back, the thing is…” Soobin licked his lips, anxiously putting some order to the thoughts in his mind. “I would like to ask for a favor of you, miss.”
You hummed encouraging him to continue talking, already sensing just what he was going to ask as you put two and two together.
“I would like to ask you for shelter, if that is possible.”
You inhaled sharply even though you knew exactly that was what he was going to ask for in the first place; putting down your chopsticks, your mind razed with possibilities. Just why in the world would you let a man you barely knew stay with you for how many days, adding the fact that the man firmly believed was some prince from a kingdom far away. Besides, what would you even gain from it? If all, you’d lose; more spendings meant less money in your pocket and you already had none.
Yet when you opened your mouth to say the simple two-letter word of no, it got caught in your throat as you saw nothing else in front of you but a lost puppy; nibbling at his lip, Soobin anxiously clasped his hands and looked pleadingly at you.
“I beg for you to expend your generosity just one more time, miss” he spoke again as you failed to answer. “I shall reward and return everything you had done for me in so little time once I return home, I’ll make sure to tell the mage to send at least ten chests of gold for you.”
That sentence and the exasperation in his voice made you sigh a chuckle. “You better learn my address to send those chests of gold, prince.” Soobin nodded eagerly, still waiting for you to give him an answer. “Fine, you can stay… only under the condition of you finding a job."
“A job?” repeating the world in his mouth, Soobin tilted his head and narrowing his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because I don’t have enough money to feed you and me forever and you can't keep taking Yeonjun’s clothes for free either,” you stated, reassuming your own little job of finishing the ramen. “You did have a job before, right?”
“Well, not exactly,” he answered. “I guess my job is being a prince until I take the crown.”
“So nepo baby,”, you sighed in jealously, ignoring the flustered look the boy gave you by your words.
“Did you call me baby?” he whispered but it didn’t reach your ears as it was so low.
The both of you quickly finished the rest of your food just in time for Granny to bring seconds; conversation between you and the prince flowed naturally, him telling you all about the Fifth Great Kingdom from the vast meadows full of flowers where he’d take strolls from time to time to the big castle he lived in, big enough to host beautiful parties all night long.
Neither of you noticed the way you were being watched.
-
Soobin was lucky indeed for having stumbled upon you. Not only you had taken pity in him and decided to help him in a state he knew not everyone would, but you started teaching him about the magic in your own world. He first realized about it, about the way he was learning things in a way he never thought he could, when one day -after a few days of living toghteter- you got back home with the news of having found a perfect job for him, big smile spreading in your face as you rushed in taking off your shoes and dropping off your things in the couch.
“The public library?” he questioned as he carefully cut down the vegetables on the kitchen counter the way you had taught him to. He heard the water running as you washed your hands quickly beside him.
“Yeah, turns out the old librarian is a little too old and can’t move like she used to, so they need someone to take her place and mostly just put the books back in their place, maybe some watching out of people making out in a hall and nothing else.” You said as you grabbed another knife and stood next to him, picking up a few still perfectly shaped vegetables and starting cutting them at a speed Soobin had yet to reach. “It’s not a too much demanding job and you’ll get to earn some money, what do you say?”
“Well, what do you think?” he asked, stopping his hand with the knife and looking over at you. Feeling his eyes in your face, you refused to look up and continued giving the vegies all of your attention.
“I think you should try it out,” you muttered, eyebrows frowning as some strands of hair fell annoyingly over your face and you tried blowing them away.
“If you think I should do it, I’ll do it.” Soobin’s fingers brushed against the skin on your temple as he carefully pulled them behind your ear, not ignoring the way the tip of your ears were a soft shade of pink, a small grin on his lips.
You flinched a little startled at the sudden touch and hissed in pain when the knife in your hand clumsily brushed against the open palm of your hand, a diagonal cut in the middle of it where blood started pooling.
“Ah, fuck-“ You dropped the knife onto the counter, the loud clank making Soobin flinch himself a little. He watched how you bit down harshly on your lip as you rushed to the sink, whining softly as you put your hand under the running water.  “Soobin, pass me some tissues, please, I need to put some pressure here."
He didn’t need to be told twice as he quickly pulled a fist of tissues and rushed to you; you grabbed a few and quickly pressed them against your palm, after thanking him for stop the running water.
“Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot? Should I go get a physician?” he questioned, worry noticeable in his voice as his eyes followed you walking towards the bathroom. You chuckled softly; after a few days living with the man, you had learnt a few antics of him like worrying too much about things that weren’t so serious.
“It’s alright, no physician needed, I need you though, I mean-“you laughed awkwardly, cringing at your own mumbling. “I can use some help with bandaging my hand.” The both of you walked into the too small for two people bathroom and you nodded with your head towards the cabinet in front of you. “There, it should be a first aid box, could you get it?”
“Of course,” you didn’t have time to move away before you felt the faint brushing of his chest on your back as he towered over you, arms extended and long fingers pulling out the box. “Turn around, please.” He muttered as he opened the box and pulled what he thought was needed; you actually felt a little surprised to see him moving with such certainty, already used to the man who knew too little of the world or, at least, your world.
Of course, Soobin knew how to treat wounds; he used to have to tend to some of his after long, heavy hours of swordsmanship training.
So, you just stood there as he didn’t hesitate to hold your hand in his while he used his other hand to clean the cut, too focused on finishing quickly to even notice the way his big hand stood out under yours or the way your pretty fingers trembled a little at the burning feeling in your hand. The man swiftly wrapped your hand in a bandage, smiling softly after his work was finished and finally shifting his eyes to look at you, just realizing the close proximity between the two of you as you almost had your back pressed against the wall behind you; him towering over you.
“… Done,” he whispered, his fingers lingering on your hand as he gently cupped it trying to avoid brushing against the covered cut. “How is it?”
“Good” you mumbled under your breath, too caught on the way his dark eyes seemed to spark as they looked into yours, perfectly shaped eyebrows knitting in worry as you gulped and blinked a few times, trying to collect your thoughts. “… It’s good, it hurts- but it’s not good that it hurts, I meant it’s good it’s healed- I mean, cured, god at least it’s not bleeding anymore.”
Soobin chuckled softly, amused in the way your eyes furiously tried to avoid meeting his and how flustered you became by the second. It had probably been a kind of romantic moment if you hadn’t panicked at the suffocating feeling in between two walls and pushed past him, finally breathing properly once you stepped into the hall.
“We should go,” you told him quickly walking to the living room, grabbing your bag, avoiding his stare. “Let’s get you that job on the library, okay?” Soobin stopped in his tracs in the middle of the living room instead of following you, making you frown a little. “What is it?”
“I think I should finish cooking lunch first,” he said, eyes trailing back to the kitchen where the vegetables still were.
You took Soobin to the public library after the two of you quickly finished making lunch. The place was just as old as they came but still in a perfect state as their owners had always took care of it. Big, tall labyrinth of shelving filled with books of any kind you could ever imagine was what welcomed the prince as he followed you in, silence reigning, quiet whispers being heard far away.
“Hello ma’am, I brought the friend I told you about earlier” you said, lowering your voice to a whisper as you stepped in front of a desk where an old lady sat down, a book in her lap. She moved, indeed, very slowly as she looked up and raised her shaky hand to fix the glasses over her eyes, smiling softly as her sight focused on the both of you. Soobin greeted the old lady properly, whispering just like you had.
“Thank you so much, you both dears, shall we get to know each other while I give you a small tour around, my child?” she asked to Soobin who nodded and waited patiently as the woman moved little by little to get off her chair and walk to him. The prince, as charming as ever, quickly offered his arm for the woman to support herself and she gladly grab onto him, walking very slowly to the first stop.
“I’ll be over there, have fun” you said as you watched him look over your shoulder for you, wondering if you were going to tag along as well; Soobin nodded and walked away with the old librarian.
You took a seat down on an empty round table, just in front of the beautiful stained glass that reached the ceiling, tinting the inside of the library of beautiful colors as the sunshine shone through it. Pulling out your own books from your bag and settling everything else you needed, you used the time to study, already a little behind on some of your classes.
Time flew by and before you knew it, it was already dark outside. As the day went by you had seen Soobin walking over there, learning the trades of a librarian, carrying books back to their shelves, moving the tall ladder when he’d have to place the book on the top of it, pushing the little cart when the books were too much to move by himself. He seemed to have caught on quickly on his tasks, stopping from time to time to ask the old lady behind the desk a few things.
“Hey, isn’t that guy so cute?” you heard the quiet conversation of a few people sitting on the table next to yours, you quickly tried to log your ears off the conversation. “Do you think I should ask him for his number?”
“I know, right? I’ve been staring at him all day, he’s so dreamy” another one said, sighing in love after. “But be honest, a guy like that must be taken, right?”
“Well, we won’t know until we ask him.”
“You should do it.”
You closed your book harshly, the sound rumbling on the quietness of the library, some heads turning in your direction, Soobin’s included. The boy smiled at the sight of you, awkwardly shifting in your seat and mumbling a quietly sorry to the people whose silence had been disturbed by you. He put down a few books on a random shelf and moved towards you, oblivious to the flustered group of people who had just been walking about him.
“Hey,” he mumbled, his hands resting against the wood of your table as he leaned in, his eyes looking down at your texts. You looked up quickly, too immersed in your own thoughts to have realized he had gotten close. “The lady told me I could leave already a while ago, should we go back home?”
Something in the way he muttered the last few words made you flinch inside, closing your hand over your thigh under the table, invisible to the boy’s eyes as you try to sound relaxed answering. “Let’s go,”
“I will let her know then” He said, smiling at you before almost jogging back to the librarian’s desk while you exhaled the air that was retained in you, quickly picking up your things.
“See? Told you a guy like him would be taken already” “Agh, I’m so jealous.”
“Miss y/n, close your eyes” was the first thing Soobin told you when the both of you walked out the library; arching an eyebrow at him, you eyed him suspiciously.
“Why should I?” you questioned, noticing the way he hid his hands behind his back, excited smile on his heart-shaped, pink lips that quickly shifted into a soft pout at your words, thinking over what to say.
“Mmh… please?” he tried again, the smile coming back to his face even more beautifully than before. You rolled your eyes but still closed them afterwards, mumbling a soft okay. A few seconds passes before you heard him speak again. “Okay, open up now, please.”
The first thing you saw were his shiny eyes waiting for your reaction; the second thing you saw was the envelope he held in his hands. His first pay. You laughed, smile growing on your face finding excitement his too cute for his own good.
“Congrats!” you said acting too fast to actually think about what were you doing when you closed your arms around his frame, patting his back softly a few times before your body stiffened and your hand froze in midair. “Oh- sorry, I didn’t rea- hmp!” Before you could pull away from him, his large arms caught you in between him, pushing you back into him, feeling the heat of his body irradiating towards you. Your chin was barely hanging from his shoulder, tip of your toes touching the ground and Soobin shrinking a little. You pat him subtly on his back when the hug got too long for the sake of your sanity, clearing your throat once. “Mh.” Then twice, a little louder as you bumped your fist against your closed lips. “Mh mh!” Following the increase of your pats on his back.
Soobin’s hold around you loosened up and you put a step of space in between you, pretending as it your tinted cheeks weren’t visible to the eye at all. “What do you say about hanging out to celebrate your step into full adulthood?” you said, grin spreading in your face as the idea came into your mind.
“That’s sounds about right, miss y/n” the prince answered, adoring the way your small bLush spread through your face and ears to his display. “Where shall we go?” he questioned as he started walking next to you, following whatever you were headed.
Neon lights were the first thing that caught Soobin’s attention as the both of you stepped into the arcade. Fortunately for you, as it was still a day of the week there weren’t many people around so most of the games were free. You smiled excited as you looked around, reminding how many times you used to come with Yeonjun after a long day of classes in high school. Soobin was starstrucked as he looked just everywhere, from the colorful platform some kids were jumping while facing the big screen grabbing themselves onto a railing behind them to the people holding false guns and shooting at the zombies displaying on the screen.
“Come on! We need to get some coins to use the games,” you said, excitement in your voice as you pulled Soobin from the sleeve. He eyed curiously at the little machine you two stopped at, noticing how you were pulling out some bills from your wallet.
“Wait, let me” he said pulling the first bill from his own payment, softly putting your money down.
“You sure? I mean, it’s literally your first own money,” you mumbled, trying to put your own bill inside the machine’s mouth but again being stopped by the man stepping in between you and the machine and peeking over his shoulder while inserted the bill.
“I owe you so much, miss y/n.”
You crossed your arms in your chest, tilting your head as you peeked beside him to look at the coins falling in exchange of the bill. “You should stop that, you know?”
Soobin and you started grabbing all of your coins, putting most of them in your pockets. His eyebrows furrowed, not really getting what you meant. “Stop what?”
“Calling me miss,” you stated watching from the corner of your eye his own eyes widening subtly at your words. “I think we’re close enough if you paying the arcade, Soobin” you said purposely accentuating and pronouncing every letter in his name. “Call me by name.”
“Now?” he questioned trying to remain looking calm which he did not very well. You nodded. “… Y/n, what do we do now?” Oh, the way he said your name was so sweet.
You took the prince to the basics first; killing some 3dimentional zombies was easy and, surprisingly, you learnt that the boy next to you had an incredibly aim, his points instantly going over yours in seconds. And, of course, when the both of you moved to shooting basketballs to the hoop, he was obviously advantaged thanks to his tall heigh, so Soobin just watched amused at you jumping in your spot throwing balls mindlessly at the hoop, uncontrollably laugh escaping from you as you watched the balls bouncing out of it.
You panted when the game ended, a small pout on your lips as you looked at the scores; Soobin missed the scores that indicated he had won again as his eyes were glued on the way your hair was ruffled and your cheeks were tinted red due to the effort you had put. Smile naturally growing in his face when you turned to look at him and stick out your tongue in his direction. He couldn’t help but laugh, oh, weren’t you so cute?
“I want to try this one,” he said after a short walking in search for the next game, stopping in front of the machine that caught his attention by the big colorful hammers it had. You quickly inserted a coin and grabbed one of the hammers, Soobin copying your action. “Wait, how does this one wor-
He was rudely cut off when you hit the machine with your hammer, a chuckle coming from your lips as your eyes waited carefully to the next prying head for you to smash. Soobin quickly caught on what the game was about but he found himself getting distracted by the not-so-subtly way you crashed the hammer against the machine.
“Uh? Hey!” you protested when Soobin gave you a small push with his hip, making you lose your focus. He chuckled and continued hitting his hammer against the strange gnomes’ heads that peeked out from it. You huffed annoyed at him and returned the push with your hip a little harsher. “Stupid” you mumbled under your breath.
Soobin scoffed and didn’t hesitate to lift his hand and spread it around your shoulders, his fingers finding the skin on your cheek, pinching and pulling from it making you look away from the gnomes and squeal as you try to get him off you. Your hand quickly pressed against his chin, pushing his face up to look away as well; you heard him groan annoyed as he too try to fight your hold back.
The game quickly came to an end and the two of you ended with the lowest possible scores ever. You turned to look at him retracting your hand from his face and pointing your finger at him. “You’re a cheater, prince!” You exclaimed; your cheek still caught in between his fingers. He laughed at the way your skin stretched and finally let go you, his hand softly brushing against your back, little marks around his eyes appearing as he held the most beautiful smile ever.
“Cute” he said, caughting you by surprise.
“W-what?”
“Don’t get mad at me, you cute thing” He said clearer this time, his finger now brushing a strand of hair out of your face and behind your ear. Your mouth opened a little bit as you searched for words in your mind; Soobin chuckled before taking a step back. “It makes me want to beat you at every game.”
The two of you went on and on until your coins started weighting less and less in your pockets. You smiled as you pointed at the photobooth on a corner, quickly walking toward the machine and moving the curtain to get into it. When Soobin didn’t walk behind you, you peeked your head through the cloth and furrowed your eyebrows at him.
“What’s wrong? Come here,” you demanded, your hand quickly finding his wrist and pulling him inside.
“What is this thing?” he asked as he clumsily took a seat beside you inside the cramped photobooth. He watched how you inserted one coin and soon after the image of the two of you, hairs ruffled after so much playing and sparkly eyes, appeared in the screen in front of you.
“Let’s take some pictures,” you said pressing the bottom to start the countdown. You pointed and the camera over the screen, telling him he was supposed to look at the little black dot. “Should we smile?”
“Okay.”
3, 2, 1. The first picture was the two of you, grinning at the camera quite awkward and stiff.
“Oh, look” You exclaimed, noticing the things under your feet. A malicious smile creeped in your face as you grabbed a pair of bunny ears and put them over Soobin’s head. “They suited you.”
“How does this suit me?” he mumbled looking at himself on the screen. His hand moved to the things and pulled the first thing he grabbed: a crown. He chuckled. “Here, you put this one on.”
You let him place the crown over your head. “Does the crown suit me, prince?” you asked him, teasingly while turning your head to look into his eyes. He swallowed before nodding slowly.
“It does.”
3, 2, 1. 3, 2, 1. 3, 2, 1. You took the rest of your pictures quickly, changing position and faces, then switching the bunny ears and the crown for each other’s. You had to look twice at the boy after the crown was placed over his head; it actually suits him too well.
The printed pictures came out after a few minutes; you kneeled to pick them up and smiled fondly while looking at them as you stand back up, they came out cute. You handed them to Soobin for him to look, but he was already getting his face closer to yours to peek over your shoulder. Freezing as you felt his breath hitting the skin on your neck. “Cute.” He repeated, knowing perfectly well how he was too close to you now; his big hand rested over your shoulder and softly pulled from you, making you turn to face him, face too close to face. The hand on your shoulder slowly moved down on your arm, his fingers burning up the skin he touched until his fingers found yours.
Soobin lifted your bandaged hand with his up until it reached his face, softly pushing away your fingers with his chin and moving his face down to placed a deadly slow kiss against your palm with enough force for you to feel any pain. Oh, pain was the last thing you were feeling. His soft plump lips brushed against the cloth of the bandage, moving up to your fingers, kissing softly against your fingertips; his eyes never left yours.
The kisses trailed from your fingertips to the back of your knuckles and then to the back of your hand. Soobin put your hand back down and then tenderly cupped your face while his own face leaned closer, his breath hitting against your face. Your eyes flicked for a moment when his tongue swirled over his lips. “Y/n…” he whispered, his eyes savoring the way your own lingered on his lips. “Can I?”
You simply could nod and lean your face closer to his, your eyes closing before any contact could ever be made. His nose brushed yours as he placed his forehead against yours, taking a small moment before-
“Your Highness!”
Uh?
You opened your eyes only to find Soobin’s eyes as confused as yours. He pulled his face away a little, leaving his hands on your face as he frowned.
“Did also heard that or was I-
“Soobin, over here!” Soobin was caught off by the same voice, both of you looking more confused than before. Just when he took a step back and his hands left your face, both your gazes went down to the photobooth screen.
“What the f-
“Beomgyu?” muttered Soobin, frowning at the sight of his friend right there and taking the seat back in front of him. “What is wrong? Why are you contacting me now?”
“What do you mean now? I told you I was going to contact you again when we made some progress.” The mage answered, eyes looking tired as ever and lose hair framing his face. “I have good news for you, my dear friend, we are getting your golden spooned ass here on Sunday.”
 “Sunday? But that is-
“In three days.” You said, finally getting over the shock of a man appearing at the screen out of nothing. Have you been drugged? Were you hallucinating? Why was Soobin actually being called ‘his highness’ by someone? You had had to blink at least five times after the man made his appearance.
“Who is that?” wondered the mage, squeezing his eyes even thought he could see nothing from his side. “Did I appear at a bad moment? Haha!”
You took the empty seat next to Soobin before speaking to the man on the screen; God, this felt like doing a videocall. “Who even are you?” Yes, if you had to be honest, you were a little annoyed at the bad timing of the mage and it was evident in your voice.
“You don’t know who I am?” inquired Beomgyu, horror visible in his face. “I am the most brilliant child of this Kingdom, the One Blessed at Birth, the Head of the Magic Tower and His Highness crown prince Soobin’s best friend.”
Oh, you didn’t his cocky ass one bit.
“Chill, dude, I didn’t ask for your resume or anything.” You scoffed grimacing at his disbelief image. “Besides, magic here doesn’t exist so you actually are, mhm… how do I put it nicely? A farce.”
Beomgyu gasped, a hand clenching in his chest as he was about to explode back at you before getting interrupted by Soobin’s voice. “Stop, the both of you.” If Soobin hadn’t been so caught off guard, he would have found the way you and Beomgyu huffed at the same time funny. “Back to the main point, Beomgyu.”
“… Right, we can get you back on Sunday,” Repeated the mage after fixing the frames on his face. “Sunday before midnight, I will be able to create a portal into our world in… here.” The image of the screen changed from the mage to a place Soobin didn’t know, but you did.
“That’s the Han River.” You told him, feeling the way his confused eyes flicked to look at you. You scoffed. “What? Is he supposed to jump from the bridge?” The sly smile in your face started fading away when the guy on the screen stayed silent. “He’s not, right?”
“Well, he does need to sink deep to reach the portal-
“Weren’t you supposed to be a level max mage?” You snarled finding the whole idea of Soobin actually jumping from the bridge ridiculous. But then again, this whole situation was ridiculous in the first place.
“Beomgyu, is there no other way? Can’t you just open a portal in a mirror?” Questioned Soobin after analyzing the worried expression in your face.
“You know I am an elemental mage, I chose the Han River exactly because of that so as long as you have me you will be safe, my friend.” Something strange, something big roared behind the mage that had him flinching in his place, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as he frowned looking at something behind him. “I better go now, I have work to do here. Remember, Sunday before midnight. Oh, and you better be careful about that I told you about last time… I my predictions are correct they should be in that world already.”
You watched in silence how the image in front of you started disappearing until it was completely gone. The silence surrounding you felt heavy, even thought the fait noises from the arcade still reached you, but you weren’t sure about what you were supposed to say now, maybe something like: ‘Hey, good joke! This is a hidden camera prank, right?’ or something like ‘I guess you weren’t an insane person after all, congrats!’. Or maybe you should get on your knees and beg for forgiveness for everytime you made the boy clean your dirty dishes or maybe for calling him stupid or hugging him out of nowhere or-
“Y/n?” You snapped out of your trail of thought when Soobin started waving his hand in front of your face. “Do you feel alright?”
You knitted your eyebrows, face turning to him caughting on the most important fact of all the situation, he was leaving. It’s strange how quickly you had get used to him in your life, just as if he had always been a part of it which, of course, wasn’t the case. You gulped, forcing a little smile on your face as you nodded.
“Yeah, sorry, it’s just… a lot.” You answered, eyes flicking for a second to the screen in case that rude boy would come back. “It’s a lot to process, you know?”
“Well, I’m sure I told you before I was crown prince,” he said, eyebrow arching as his eyes looked amused into yours. “You did not actually think I was some lunatic all this time, right?” The silence and the look on your face was enough for him to get an answer; he laughed, both impressed and worried. “You did not! You are something else indeed, but please in the future do not let any other strange man sleep in your home, y/n.”
“Well, I couldn’t leave you alone, dumbass.” You muttered getting a little flustered, of course you wouldn’t have let any other strange dude get into your place at midnight, him was a special case.
“I am glad it was me who you found.” He said, his knuckles softly bumping against your forehead. You muttered a quiet hey before rubbing the spot, shooting him a glare. “Sunday before midnight, would you like to come with me to the Han River?”
You scoffed. “Of course, Soobin, how else are you supposed to get your ass there if I don’t go?” You rolled your eyes playfully, soft smile appearing in your face as he chuckled. “So, prince, what do you say about getting out of here and getting something nice to eat?”
Soobin smiled, teeth pressing down a little on his bottom lip as he nodded. “I would love that.” He would miss so much the way your pretty eyes looked into his.
-
“What happened?” Was the first thing Yeonjun asked when the door of your place was opened by a half-awake Soobin scratching the back of his head, small frown on his features as he tried opening his eyes to look at the boy.
“About what?”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes and pushed past open, letting a sleepy Soobin to close the door. “Y/n?” “Sleeping.” Yeonjun nodded at his words, before taking a seat down on the couch and pulling out his phone, a unique artifact Soobin had gotten to know thanks to you. “She texted me last night, told me she wanted to get drunk.”
Soobin covered his mouth for a yawn before taking the seat next to the boy, grabbing a small cushion and hugging it against his chest. He didn't knew you were the drinking type, so Yeonjun's words didn't have that much of an effect on him. “So what about it?"
“So,” Yeonjun scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “She can’t hold her alcohol, never could, she’s so baby but that’s why it doesn’t make sense so I’m guessing something upset her…” The older male arched an eyebrow at the sleepy prince. “Do you know anything?”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“Cause she’s sleeping.” This was Soobin’s turn to roll his eyes. “There’s this party tonight, we can go if she wants to but I’m worried if she isn’t feeling okay.”
“I don’t know,” Soobin hummed, thinking about what could have upset you so much as Yeonjun said. “Maybe… I do not think this is a reason, but maybe because I am leaving tomorrow?”
“You’re leaving?!” Yeonjun exclaimed a little too loud for ten in the morning, making Soobin wince. “Leaving where? Thought you just moved in here permanently.”
“Our deal was always temporary.”
“Why are you two dumbasses making so much noise at this hour?” you growled walking down the hall still in your pajamas, still with bed hair, still with some dry drool on the corner of your lips. Yeonjun grimaced, you were the same as always. Your friend quickly got up and jumped over the couch in your direction, trapping yourself in his arms and squishing you against his chest. “Hey?? Good morning I guess.” You mumbled, sound muffling as your face was hidden.
“Morning babe,” Yeonjun pressed down a kiss on top of your head and rubbed your back tenderly. Soobin forced himself to look away when he started getting an uncomfortable feeling down in his gut; yet he still watches from the corner of his eyes how Yeonjun pulls your face up, holding you in between his hands, squeezing your cheeks forcing a small pout in your lips while your eyebrows knit together in confusion. The prince was nibbling down on his lip as Yeonjun leaned in closer to your face, worried eyes trailing every inch of your features. “What is it? What’s troubling you, baby? Can I hit it? Tell me if I have to take care of someone, okay? I’ll make sure to tell Granny too.”
You rolled your eyes at his words and tried to speak, but your words were muffled by the hold in your face. “You’ll just let Granny do all the dirty work.” You said once he let go of your face. “I’m fine, why are you more stupid than usual?”
Yeonjun turned to look over at Soobin, mouth forming a small open pout as he pointed his index finger at you with an incredulous look on his face. “Do you see this? This is what I get for being a good older br- ouch!”
Soobin had to hold back a little laugh when you stepped in Yeonjun’s feet, making the boy dramatically fall to the floor; rolling your eyes and snapping back to him as he rolled over a few times. This was something he was going to miss, just being able to fool around like he had heard Yeonjun say a few times before he’d start bothering you, always ending up in small quarrel. Always stopping the both of you to look back at Soobin, who always stared in amusement your interactions, before rushing to him and ganging up two against one.
“Can’t believe our little baby brother’s going away from home!” cried Yeonjun as he hugged Soobin, towering over his body and making the boy squirming under his touch. “We must go hard at tonight’s party then!”
Apparently, by going hard Yeonjun meant he was dressing you up or dolling you up as he would like to state. And boy was he over the moon as he now had not one but two dolls to play with, besides that it had been a while since the last time he had the chance to actually pull some nice clothes for you to wear on a night out.
“Am not wearing that one,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest as Yeonjun quickly rushed into the mannequin room at his place holding the ugliest dress you had ever seen in your life, rolling your eyes as Yeonjun protested at your immediate negative. “For starters, it’s almost winter and I probably would freeze to death if I go out with that,” you said, pointing with your index finger at the extremetly short and thin cloth. “Besides, you know what my style is, stop trying to get me to try your clothes out.”
“Sometimes I think you know me just too well,” your friend grumbled before throwing away the little dress somewhere in the room.
Dinner time came just in time when the three of you were already dressed up party-like enough; you not in the mini dress you friend firstly wanted but in a cute lace black top, long sleeves covering you from the cold of the night, tummy a little exposed till the belly button, a pair of baggy classic blue jeans and some military boots that gifted you a few centimeters more. You were in Yeonjun’s bathroom finishing up your makeup and hair when you heard the knocking on the door. Once, twice, thrice.
Peeking through the hall, you didn’t see any of the boys near so you walked down the hall, stopping in front of the door while the knocks continued. “Who is it?” you questioned, grabbing the door knob.
“Pizza delivery!” You assumed Yeonjun must have ordered some pizza to eat before the party while you were busy in the bathroom so just you opened the door and smiled at the tall delivery man, whose face you couldn’t see very well as it was mostly hidden behind a cap but you were able to see the thin smile on his lips stretching. “Hello there, you ordered a big peperone one?”
You hummed, that was Yeonjun’s favorite. “Yeah, that’s me…” You grabbed the pizza box he offered for you and squinted your eyes, trying to get a better look on his extremely pale face, was his hair blue? “… Do I have to pay or-
“It’s already been paid, miss” he answered, faint yet still there mocking tint in his voice. You almost flinched when he looked up and cold blue eyes, just like the color of his hair you confirmed, stared into you, grin widening. “Have a good night, princess.”
A shiver trailed down your spine, skin getting goosebumps as the man quickly walked away, the light of the hall flicking strangely. You almost pissed yourself when you heard a voice from behind you. “What are you looking at?”
Soobin snickered as you gasped and turned around, hitting him instinctively on the arm, the fear on your face shifting into annoyance. “What is wrong with you?” You snarled, closing the door behind you with a swift kick with your feet and waking past him to the kitchen, hearing his instant footsteps behind you.
Placing down the hot pizza box over the counter, you walked over to the fridge and smiled as you leaned in to grab a few bottles of soju and beer. Soobin rested his back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he followed your every move from grabbing a few glasses to pouring down the alcohol on them. Feeling his stare, you peeked over at him and actually paid attention to the pretty clothes he was wearing, especially to the oversized white shirt that suited him really well and the way his black, dark hair had been pushed back, pretty eyebrows and eyes on full display.
You didn’t have much more time to appreciate his pretty self until your friend walked into the door as well, dressed up nicely too, grinning at the smell of the pizza and rushing in grabbing a piece for himself. He practically hissed when you offered him one of the glasses with the mix you had made. “I’m the designated driver tonight, babe, so you better down that yourself.”
“I can drink it if you don’t want to,” spoke Soobin, gently taking the filled plus one drink in your hands before downing it all almost at once, your eyes mesmerized at the way his neck moved while he gulped down. He let out a refreshed sigh after putting down the glass, looking at you curiously as your mouth hanged open, Yeonjun chuckling on the background. “This is really nice, what is this drink?”
“My man is one of us!” Cheered Yeonjun, patting the prince’s shoulder and smiling at him. You grumbling under your breath one of you before sipping your own drink, trying to control your expression while the liquor burned down your throat.
The three of you hurried in finishing the pizza before you walked down the stairs of the complex, the cold breeze of the night hugging you as soon as you stepped out of the building. Yeonjun had convinced Granny to let him borrow her car, which -he said- she never did but this time she gave in right away after mentioning your name and the prince’s. Granny’s car was a little old fashioned but it carried out the main goal of taking you where you needed to go.
“Jungkook’s party” was what Yeonjun said when you asked him earlier where were you going. So, it did not surprise you when the car stopped in front of the big-ass house in one of those private neighborhoods you never stepped foot into, music rumbling under your feet as soon as you stepped out of the car.
As soon as you crossed the main entrance, you were met by a sea of people dancing everywhere to the loud music booming in your ears. Walking in between the two boys, you held onto Yeonjun’s shirt with a hand, while the other was being caught by Soobin’s palm interwinding his fingers with yours.
It the prince had to be honest, this wasn’t what he had in mind when he heard the word ‘party’. This was the complete opposite to the parties he was so used to; no classical music nor orchestra playing live, no knowledge of the word ‘personal space’ as he watched the way people swung their bodies against each other’s, hands caressing, grabbing, squeezing for the bare eyes; lips meeting skin as if they were the only people in the room.
He himself was no saint, but at least he knew the common decency of privacy. His mind landed in the thought of you; this was your world, so if the people here just did that meant it was something you probably would do too, right? Oh, Soobin found the mere thought of you dancing with a stranger so infuriating, even more when he noticed the way some people looked at you with notorious lust in their eyes.
For a moment, you panicked when Soobin’s hand let go of yours and you thought he had gotten lost in between the people; when an arm snaked around your waist and you felt a warm, hard chest meeting your back, you panicked even more. “Uh, where’s Yeonjun?” Soobin had to press his lips near your ear for you to hear him clearly over the loud music, his hot breath with a tint of the alcohol he had drink earlier hitting against your ear and cheek. You blinked for a second, realizing you had let go of your hold onto Yeonjun while getting distracted with Soobin. “Ah, fuck-“ you muttered as you couldn’t see him around anymore, only people dancing and drinking around you.
The fact that the warm body of the prince was clinging to your back didn’t let you think properly, or maybe it was that glass of soju and beer you had down before leaving the complex that it was already clouding your mind, yet you managed to move your own feet in the kitchen’s way, a sigh of relief as it wasn’t so filled with people as the entrance. You waited for Soobin to let go of you as you weren’t going to get lost now but the boy’s large arm just rested there, his fingers pressing on the side of your waist.
“Wanna drink?” You asked to the boy behind you as you reached out your arm to the counter, grabbing two of those classic red plastic cups and then looking at the different kinds of alcohol in display; God, Jeon Jungkook was filthy rich if he let one of the most expensive Whiskeys of the industry to people’s reach.
Soobin hummed as his head peeked over your shoulder at your actions; grabbing a bottle and pouring down its content into the two cups, yours visibly more filled than his. Soobin’s free hand sneaked over you and pulled away that cup from your hands, hearing your whines in protest and chuckling softly as you squirmed against him.
“Yeonjun said you can’t hold your alcohol, y/n, you should be careful.” Said the boy before sipping the strange drink and almost gagging at his awful taste, throat almost giving up. “God, what is this?”
“Vodka” you simple answered, before throwing your head behind bumping the top of it against Soobin’s chest, and downing the cup even thought your throat was burning like hell, some drops sliding from the corner of your lips. Soobin clicked his tongue and try to pull away the cup from you but you had already emptied it. “Soobin you’re clingy tonight, what is it?” you mumbled, putting away the cup and turning around in your heels; the hand that had stayed around your waist now hugged your back as you looked up at the prince.
Your eyes were already weighting on your face as you blinked a few times to focus on his worried features looking back at you, hand moving on its own as you caressed his cheek with your fingers, heart felt like melting when Soobin leaned in even more in your touch. A lazy grin drew in your face.
“Cute.”
Soobin placed his own hand over yours against his and swiftly moved his head, lips pressing down against the palm of your hand in a warm kiss. Then he said those four words that had the spell on you breaking. “I will miss you” “Oh”
Oh indeed. You remembered why you had wanted to come to the party in the first place: to get drunk and, if possible, knocked out and, if possible, to get all of your memories with the prince wiped away from your mind because you knew, one hundred percent sure, that once he was gone for good, you’ll be left alone again. Of course, there were Yeonjun and Granny and your friends and, fuck it, even Jungkook’s Whiskey looking really good right now, but the way you had gotten used in so little time to the boy’s presence in your place and in your life was something that, once taken away, was going to left you devastated.
The mere thought of it, even though it hadn’t happened yet, made your heart clench in your chest. And so, you couldn’t find yourself to say the same to the prince, whose eyes stared intensely at you while you forced a little smile on your face, biting down at your lip to avoid looking like an abandoned puppy.
Just like him when you first met him.
Well, fuck. “Let’s go dance” you said squirming away from his touch and walking to the sea of people dancing along to the music, ignoring wheter Soobin followed you or not and just trying to forget about what was in your mind as you started moving yourself.
The prince just walked out of the kitchen and over to a corner in the room, eyes fixated on yourself as he watched carefully the way you danced, hips moving to the rhythm, hair swinging in a way that had the eye captured, eyes closed, soft smile on your lips. You were eye-catching and from his point of view he spotted some others who seemed to have caught the sight of you too. The prince was about to go on your rescue when he saw a guy making his way to where you were, but Yeonjun beat him to it; an arm hugging you over your shoulders as he leaned in closer to your ear to mumble something was what Soobin saw, clenching his hands in fists as he was too late and as he saw the way you burst out laughing at whatever Yeonjun had said.
But Yeonjun didn’t spare you too much of his time before he was gone again after being pulled away by some random girl and before anyone could come close to you, Soobin was already by your side; he was not going to repeat that little mistake from a minute ago. You, of course, didn’t notice the tall boy standing awkwardly by your side, other bodies bumping against him, his eyes just on you. You only realized Soobin had walked to where you where when a big, warm hand fell over your shoulder, turning around to look at the prince.
You smiled, he was so handsome and you were so drunk already. You didn’t even hesitate before pressing your body to his and stepping in your tip toes, your hands grabbing each side of his shoulders for support as you got near his ear, your nose playfully brushing the side of his cheek before saying to him: “Hello my prince.”
Soobin didn’t fail to notice the way your words came out lazier than usual, almost stepping into each other and he realized the alcohol must have reached your head by now when you started giggling like a small child and rested your forehead against his shoulder. His hands trailed instinctively around your small body, pressing you even closer if it was possible; your own hands moved on their own over his shoulder and around the back of his neck.
“Fuck-“ you mumbled, voice cracking at the word as you felt your heart aching. One of your hands went up and caressed his soft hair, closing your eyes when he started caressing your back on the same way.
“Come here.” He mumbled in your ear, walking away from the sea of dancing people and to a quieter hall where just a few people were, some already knocked out and some just stepping away for a second before going back to the party; the light was dim above your head so when you looked up to see Soobin you had to squint your eyes to focus his face. As soon as your gaze lifted up to his face, his hands cupped your cheeks, wiping away some of the tears that had been falling from your eyes before you could stop them. “Tell me what has got you like this, y/n.”
“… You.” You mumbled, looking away from his worried eyes, eyebrows knitting as your eyes watered even more and you bit down the pout on your lip. “I’m so mad, why do you have to leave? Why did you have to come in the first place? Why- ah, fuck.” You sobbed a little, clenching his shirt in your hands as you spoke. “It’s so sad, Soobin, I really like you in my life.”
One look at the prince’s eyes and you already got a clear answer: he can’t. He’s a prince, for God’s sake and from another fucking world. If you didn’t the worst luck of all, then you felt really sorry for whoever was a level up to yours.
“I…” Soobin chew down on his own lift, his heart beating painfully as the look in your face hurt him even more. “I like you in my life too.”
You chuckled the irony out of your body and try wiping the tears away with your own hand, but it was soon caught in Soobin’s hand and pulled away from your face.
“Y/n, I don’t think I will ever be able to forget you” he mumbled, his hand leading you to rest over his shoulder again before finding the spot on your back with his big palm and pushing you closer to him. “You have left me impregnated in you by the rest of my days so, please, rest assure that I will think and dream about you every single day until my final breath.”
Your breath hitched and before you knew it you were brushing your own lips against his, space almost inexistent in between the two.
“Don’t let me forget, Soobin.”
Truth was, you were sure you weren’t ever going to forget the way Soobin’s soft, fleshy lips felt against yours, or the way his swift movements paced your sloppy ones, or the way you drank in every single gasp of his when you would brush your tongue against his bottom lip, which you quickly became addictive to. Or the way his tongue moved in your mouth more roughly after you had bit down his pretty lip, both of his hands now holding you by your waist, fingers pressing against your exposed skin.
You don’t know just how much time passed in between kisses, but you didn’t care either. A small whine came out of your lips when Soobin softly pulled away, his forehead resting against yours, both of your swollen lips inches apart as you panted heavily, his half-lidded eyes staring into yours.
“I feel like I could do this forever” he whispered, breath fanning over your mouth. You hummed in agreement, leaning in to place a tender kiss in his lips, short but still filled with passion; then moved to the corner of his lips and then up making an invisible path of kisses to his jaw and down his long neck, a soft smile appearing as the prince hummed in delight at the feeling of your warm lips on him. His lips fell open as a gasp escaped from his mouth when you started nibbling down on his skin, alternating in soft bites and then small licks to soothe the spot. “Fuck, that feels good.”
You snickered quietly, moving up again to his ear and placing a soft kiss against it before saying: “Let’s go home, please? Wanna get some sleep.”
Soobin smiled softly, turning his head to kiss your forehead while nodding. “Of course, beautiful, should we go find Yeonjun?”
Shit, Yeonjun.
You had completely forgotten about tonight’s designater driver and, after sending him a few massages and getting no answer from him, Soobin and you started searching for your friend in the insides of Jungkook’s house, of course, making subtle stops for some kisses when you started missing the feeling of his lips or him when he’d capture you in between his arms and trapped your lips surprisingly with his. After a while, you walked into Yeonjun as he stepped out of some random room on the second floor of the house, hair disheveled, lips as swollen as yours, clothes a little messy.
He looked the two of you up and down, analyzing every detail of your state and the way Soobin’s hand still rested against the skin on your waist, his eyes peeking over your head as he stood behind you. Scoffing, Yeonjun was about to say something when a girl in the same state of him walked out the same room, looking at the trio standing outside in slight panick before rushing away down the hall.
“Isn’t that Jungkook’s-
“I won’t say anything if you don’t.”
You nodded; a silent pact made with your friend. Yeonjun didn’t need to hear twice your plea to leave before walking down the stairs and out of the house, Soobin and you quickly following his steps towards Granny’s car.
The way home was quiet, just the low music of the radio setting a chill mood as you leaned against the seat, a tired sigh leaving your mouth as you watched the narrow path outside. Yeonjun hugged you goodbye once you reached his floor and promised to see you again tomorrow.
Soobin closed the door after you walked into your own place, kicking out your boots lazily as you dragged your feet inside, coming to a stop when you didn’t hear Soobin’s steps behind. “What are you doing there?” you asked, turning a little to look at him standing in front of the mat on the floor he slept. Waving your hand at him, a soft smile drew on your face. “Come here, let’s go to sleep.”
Soobin didn’t need to be told twice; he quickly dragged his own feet, following you into your room and closing the door on his back, looking at you moving to grab some makeup wipes, an almost inaudible whine coming out of you as you were too lazy to do it, but still started brushing the wipe over your face. The prince walked closer and took the wipe from your hand, lifting up your face with a finger pushing up your chin.
“Let me help you,” he said, leaning in for a kiss before doing what you had started. You closed your eyes, grateful for his actions, enjoying the often kisses he would give you from time to time, until you heard him say he was done. Soobin walked out of your room for a second to change into a pair of clothes he had borrowed from Yeonjun as you also used the time to change into your pajamas, a sigh of relief outing you as you laid down on your bed.
“Come here Soobin” you mumbled to him, reaching out your hand to the boy once he was back. He smiled and walked over, taking the empty spot in your bed next to you, his arms immediately caughting you in between them and hugging you against his chest, his lips leaving a kiss on the top of your head. Tilting your head up, you were meet by his lips brushing against yours, skin barely touching as his eyes looked down at your mouth.
“I might become obsessed with you at this point” he whispered over your mouth, the words making his lips move against yours. You nodded, that little movement, again, making your lips move against his. “I am forever grateful to have met you, beautiful.”
“Shut up and kiss me already” even if that’s what you said, you were still the one to finally close the tiny gap in between your lips, both of you instantly melting against the other. “I hope this would be a dream” you whispered, hiding your face on the crook of his neck.
“If this is a dream I wish to never wake up.”
-
You had expected Soobin’s last day on your world to be extremely sad and heartbreaking, yet once again it surprised you how ironical and unpredictable could life be.
You had had a nice sleep in the prince’s arm, waking up around midday when the unstoppable sounds of pictures being taken shook you out of your dream. And not only you had been woken up, but Soobin as well as Yeonjun screamed trying to avoid the murderous, flying pillows you threw at the boy.
“You’ll thank me later, babe!” He cried out, jumping to avoid the pillow on his crotch.
After that, everything became a little bit more chaotic, for example while having breakfast together, when you told Yeonjun that he needed to drive Soobin and you to the Han River where he would have to sink in to teleport back to his world, a world where he, Choi Soobin, the kid he had dressed himself was crown prince, king to be, him, the Choi Soobin.
“You’re both mentally ill, aren’t you?”
Still fully convinced, Yeonjun agreed to drive you to the Han River; after all, he would definitely get scolded if you were to snitch to Granny, so he just complied after a good annoying resistance.
But that was just the tip of the iceberg; what actually came after that was probably the most cinematographic and traumatic-as-fuck incident of your life, because for a second you were cuddling with Soobin in your couch spending what little time left he had, two hours left till midnight, and the other second you were both spread on the floor, caughting, unable to see anything as the room was covered in white dust after the ceiling fell over your heads, almost crashing the both of you if it weren’t for Soobin’s reflexes throwing you away and then jumping from his spot.
“What the fuck!?”
“Y/n? Wait, don’t move!”
“HEHEHEHEHEHEHE”
That laugh radiating some veil, foul, evil didn’t make you get goosebumps but a whole fucking need of a new soul as yours felt like leaving your body. Covering your mouth and nose to shakily breath in, you squinted your eyes trying to find Soobin, walking over to the tall shower you first caught a glimpse, realizing too late your prince didn’t have blue hair.
“Hello there, little princess”
“Y/n? Where are you? Run away, quickly!"
You looked up at the delivery man first with confusion, then with fear as his smile only grew bigger and bigger, his cold blue, mad eyes staring into yours with a glint of amusement.
“Who the fuck-“ you cursed under your breath after your voice cracked out of fear, the man only snickering again in delight of your reaction.
“Be afraid, you should, such a shame I didn’t get to kill you both” the man lamented, clicking his tongue as his finger pointed up at the hole in the ceiling; you expected to see some extremely freaked out upstair neighbors after the lost of their floor, but you only met nothing; pure, pitch black nothing.  “Be good, now, little princess, and I might let you live… After all, I just want his life.”
God, what had Soobin done to have the mad-ass pizza delivery man wanting to kill him that badly? Yeez.
“Oh, yeah? Over my dead body.” Of course, there were some times when you weren’t the smartest in the room, for example, right now, but you were just a girl under pressure and one who didn’t backed down without a fight.
The man laughed even louder, making you wince at his high pitch. “HEHEHE! So amusing, you little rats! You have nothing to lose yet you put all of you into saving it, haha! So very thrilling!”
You were about to make some smart comment about how you were not a rat when a loud thump interrupted you; jumping away when the man in front of you collapsed in front of you, Soobin coming into sight with a frying pan held up in his hands and a wild look on his face.
“Are you okay?” He asked, stepping over the man’s back to reach you, placing the frying pan under in between his arm and ribs, his hands grabbing your face and inspecting everywhere for any kind of injury.
“Soobin, what the fuck?” you questioned, panicked in your eyes as the man had finally shut up and now you could let your own emotions flow freely, shaky hands hugging yourself as your eyes trailed to the immobile laying on your floor. “A fraying pan? Is he dead? Oh my god, do I have to hide a body now?”
“Hey, look at me,” Soobin squeezed your cheeks in between his palms, leaning in his face closer to yours to block the way of the delivery man on the floor from your eyes. “You’re okay, but we need to go now, quickly.”
“Go where?” you cried out being dragged by him out of your destroyed place and down the stairs.
“Hey! What happened? Heard some crazy sound from upst- woah, what’s going on?”
Yeonjun was just on his way towards your place; he wasn’t usually the one to get cranky at noisy neighbors, but what he had just heard felt like some kind of explosion and he wanted to make sure you were okay. So, all of his worries only grew when he stumbled with the two of you, covered in white dust and with a frying pan being held as if it was some kind of sword. Yeonjun got no answer, but he was just dragged down with you holding onto his arm. If there was a crazy psychopath in your place, there was no way you were leaving Yeonjun behind.
"Do you still have Granny’s car?” asked Soobin as he dragged the two of you out of the building and looked around to spot the red car. Yeonjun nodded, mumbling an of course as he stuck out the car’s keys. “Let’s go, we need to move.”
“Go where?” questioned Yeonjun, still getting into the driver’s seat while you took the seat next to his and Soobin the ones in the back. There was a loud rumbling on the ground that did not belong to the car you had just gotten in.
“Han River” he stated, looking over the window at the flicking lights of the whole building. You had to be honest, the image in front of your eyes before Yeonjun stepped on the gas pedal reminded you of fucking Stranger Things; sky tinting a shade of red yet not due to the sunset. Honks were blown as your friend drove in a hurry and carelessly through the cars, his eyes flicking to the review mirror and looking at the weird ass man standing in the middle of the street you were just a second ago, his cold eyes seemed like staring directly into Yeonjun’s as a sick smile drew on his face.
“Who’s your friend? Seems cool!”
“And really pissed off at you Soobin, what the fuck was the on my ceiling?”
“I-I can explain… And I will definitely pay the expenses of the broken ceiling, I swear!”
Driving to the Han River from your apartment was a ride of almost an hour, and if you were lucky and bad traffic wasn’t on your side, you’d be there without wasting so much time. But of course, things couldn’t go that way and just when you were about to reach the bridge crossing the river, Yeonjun stopped the car, getting stuck in between a large line of cars. You frowned as you wondered why, it wasn't even rush hour, could this be some kind of little trick from the same crazy pizza delivery man?
There's still a full hour till midnight, you thought as you you read the time on your phone. Your hands moved immediately to unbuckled your self and opened the door in the middle of the traffic, some curious eyes looking at you from their cars.
“What do you think your doing?” Roared Yeonjun watching as you quickly pulled open the backseat door and Soobin got out of the car as well. “Y/n, I swear to god, if you don’t stop right there-
“He needs to get out of here, Junnie! you exclaimed, looking pleadingly at your friend. “And I need to make sure he gets there, please, I’ll be back as soon as I can” A strong gust of wind sent your hair flying to a side, and still out in the cold air you didn't felt any cold, adrenaline rush warming up your body.
Yeonjun sighed, a hand brushing his hair anxiously before nodding reluctantly, an index finger pointing out in your direction before you were off. “You better be back safe, babe, I’m ratting you out to Granny if you don’t.”
“Of course,” you smiled at him. “I love you.” Turning to face the prince, whose hands still hold onto the fraying pan, you grabbed his free hand and starting running towards the bridge, a few honks blown in your direction as you rushed through the cars. “C’mon, let’s go!”
For a moment, all you heard was white noise and your distant pants as you approached the bridge, running and running for a very long time as the two of you got on the bridge, reaching a fair place in its middle; you only came to a stop when Soobin slowed down and pulled from your hand. The prince’s face was glowing up due to the bridge’s lights, warm and even cozy on the railings. His hair was disheveled and his chest moved up and down as he caught his breath. The sky was almost as red as blood over your heads, the fast kind increasing in speed.
"I think it will be alright if I go into the portal a little bit before midnight" Soobin said, his hand grabbing yours pulling you in for a tight hug, his nose nuzzling against the crook of your neck. "Everything will be alright once I am gone, okay? Make sure to return quickly to Yeonjun, please, just be safe."
You knitted your eyebrows, blinking away the tears you didn't want to pour right now, and hugged him back tightly, almost crashing your body against his and making him stagger a little; your hands closing in his shirt. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Soobin" you mumbled, voice falttering even if you didn't want it to.
Soobin held your head back before pressing down his lips over yours one more time, a last kiss filled with desperation and hunger and longing and affection, your hands clenching the back of his shirt. You breath in deeply, trying to print his scent into your brain.
“Aw, how disgusting.”
Then it happened all just too quickly for your mind to even process it correctly; one moment you were pulling away from the kiss to look at the standing man in front of the both of you, a few feet away, then you were forgetting how to breath as a pair of black and thick tentacles popped out of his back, moving at a speed even faster than light in your direction.
You never ever in your life thought about a pair of tentacles strangling your waist with enough force to make you feel you were about to go pop, but, of course, there you were, hanging from the bridge as you felt the air leaving your body, ringing in your ears blocking the desperate calls from Soobin who wasn’t even in a better situation from yours; tentacles grabbing him by the legs and hanging him upside down.
“Fuck! Kai, let her go!” Soobin yelled, his eyes never looking away from your pale figure, not even realizing the kind of request he had made, his mind too focused on you to realize. The pizza delivery man- Kai crooked an eyebrow at the prince’s words, a mocking smile appearing in his face.
“Oh? Should I be a merciful person with you, Your Highness? At least once?” he questioned, humming as if faux lost in thought before shrugging nonchalantly. “Okie, here you go- ups!”
Soobin screamed of your name didn't reached your ears.
For a moment, you breath in deeply, desperately gasping for air. The you crashed into something cold, harsh, making you skin burn, first your head then the rest of your body; air left you again, disappearing completly from your system, water getting too much into you, mouth, nose, eyes, everywhere. Then it burned- everywhere in your body burned but you couldn’t scream- you couldn’t move and then, you were out.
a/n: if you make it till here and read all of this i love you so much and if you liked it thank you so much<33 this is suposed to have a part 2 that im already working on!!
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residenthughes · 4 months
Text
opera house - jack hughes
pairing: jack hughes x afab reader
word count: 2.5k
tags/warnings: +18 nsfw, so minors dni, oral sex (m on f), dirty talk (if you can call it that?), no mention of y/n, pet names (baby, princess)
summary: reading is your favourite pastime. jack makes it harder than anticipated.
notes: so...🫣 this happened. it's a small little thing that started out with me just wanting to write about how pretty jack is only to turn into the respectful pile of filth. don't write smut much so apologies if this isn't to your liking, but hopefully i'll be back with something better. also, the sentence in italics is a quote from the book mentioned in the fic. much love! <3
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As the cold November climate nips at your flesh and colours the sky in hues of grey, you nestle in the cosiness of your home, warm and sheltered with your treasured fuzzy socks on as you curl up on your bed with one of the books you’ve been meaning to read. Jack says it’s a bad habit of yours: buying books that collect dust on your shelf, to which you quickly argue that he’s the one enabling your ‘bad habit’ by constantly buying them for you - your Goodreads profile bookmarked in his phone for safe keeping. An endearing act of service, all of which he is no stranger to - gifting said books in the form of a bouquet every time he leaves for a long road trip, taking out the trash because he knows it’s your least favourite chore, curling up with you now, sweetly bundled in between your legs as you two find peace in the silence you share. It’s like a warm hot chocolate on a chilly day like today, your connection smooth and comforting, wrapping you in the warmth of its embrace.
You peer beyond the top of your book, catching an eyeful of the back of Jack’s head and his loose curls, the soft clicks of his gamer control sounding as his eyes focus on the TV screen a few metres ahead. Your sugary thoughts of how endearing your long-term boyfriend can be - always is - overflow like lava, the smile on your face terribly enamoured as your fingers card through his hair, curling the soft locks around your index finger.
Like clockwork, Jack leans into your touch, slouching further into his position in between your thighs, laying a chilly cheek against the flesh of your thighs.
You squirm against the brush of his eyelashes against your skin. “That tickles.”
“Uh huh,” he absently answers, tapping away at his gamer control. “Does this?”
A delicate kiss marks you, Jack’s head going back to laying against your thigh as he directs his attention to the game set out against the TV.
“No,” you blush. “But, that was nice.”
A huff of amusement sounds from Jack and instantly, you know what position you've put yourself in by saying that. “Bet it was. Aren’t you busy with that book of yours?”
You bite back, the muscles of your thighs tightening their grip around your boyfriend. “Sometimes a distraction is necessary.”
The clicks of his gamer control halt and silence envelopes the room, your eyebrow raised as his on-screen character dies as a result of his negligence. 
Jack clears his throat, his body shuffling against yours as he readjusts his position, restarting the game. “Maybe you’re right about that, baby.”
A pout remains settled against your lips as your eyes squint at your partner, your suspicion towards his action not enough to distract you from the habitual motion of your fingers as they thread through Jack’s hair. You raise your opened book back to eye-level, not batting an eyelash.
It’s when you’ve gotten perhaps three sentences into your book that Jack breaks the silence. “What’s the story about?”
“The book I’m currently reading?” Jack hums in reply. “Oh, it’s a spinoff of a series I’ve been meaning to read. It’s basically a college romance story about a girl aspiring to be on the national ice hockey team and her getting help from this guy she met years ago, called Ryder. Unexpectedly smutty, 10/10 would recommend.”
Jack laughs with you at your nasty comment, body vibrating against yours as his chuckle courses through him. You lower your book again.
“You and your smutty books,” Jack snickers to himself, eyes trained ahead of him. There’s a pause before he speaks again. “In what ways is it unexpectedly smutty?”
Despite how long you’ve been with Jack and the comfort you've established living alongside him, the question does make you a bit flustered, crimsoning as you look away, avoiding any view of him. “Well, it’s pretty raunchy up front. Like how they’ve done some naughty things in the shower - quite tame, but I’ve also just read that Ryder did some things when they went to go see the opera.”
“What things?” Jack asks, point blank.
Now, it’s time for you to clear your throat. Cheeks tinted. “Do I even have to say, Jack?”
The pause screen displays itself against the TV, the clicks of his controller no more as Jack shifts once again within your grasp, body turning as he lays his stomach against the comfort of the mattress, pools of azure staring into yours. Your heart thuds in your chest.
“Yes, I wanna hear what things you’re reading,” he says easily as if he isn’t inciting violence in your chest right now, the corner of his pink lips curved softly as he tilts his head against your thigh. “All of it.”
Suddenly, the temperature in the room escalates from toasty warm to scorching hot, a familiar flame in the pits of your stomach igniting as you’ve somehow found yourself in such a predicament - backed into a corner and at a loss for words.
“He,” you stammer, averting your eyes because all Jack’s eyes do is look at you, his burning gaze elevating the heat that dances against the surface of your cheeks. “He fingers her in the opera.”
You whisper that last part but Jack hears you judging by the faint chuckle coming from him. “He fingers who at the opera?”
He accents his point with a kiss against your thigh, this time the gesture conjuring a polar opposite sensation as goosebumps riddle your skin. You let out a shaky breath you hadn’t known you were holding, looking again at your partner to still find him looking right back at you, eyelids heavy and eyes dark. You have to look away.
You gulp. “Gigi - her name is Gigi.”
You finally muster some sort of courage you’ve had to find within your situation when you hear Jack shift again, eyes capturing your boyfriend’s arms coming up to circle around your thighs, eyes never leaving yours as his hands find purchase against your skin, thumbs absently caressing the surface much like you did earlier with his hair. 
“Is that short for something?” Jack accents his question with another kiss, his touch searing. 
“No,” you gulp, voice foolishly unsteady as your eyes study Jack’s movements with caution. “I mean, Ryder jokes that her name is Gisele, but that’s-”
“Guys like to tease,” he kisses a little higher against your thigh as if to prove his point. “Especially with girls they like.”
“I don’t think that’s appreciated, Jack.” 
You’re talking about a completely different thing now - a conversation within a conversation. 
“I don’t know about that, baby,” whilst still staring at you, his teeth manage to nip at a small sliver of your skin, numbness plaguing your limbs. “Read it to me.”
Your brows knit together, puzzled as ever. “What?”
“You heard me,” declares Jack, his kisses abundantly littering the expanse of your thigh as your mind begins to spiral. “Read it to me.”
Your mind is frazzled, brain working overtime to comprehend the sudden turn of events, all the while Jack takes it upon himself to sit pretty in between your legs and touch you as if made from porcelain - delicate and tender, a sharp contrast to the emotions bathing you in lust. Jack glances up at you one more time, button nose nuzzling against your inner thigh as he gives you a knowing look, his lips preoccupied. You obey wordlessly, uneasy eyes still on him as you bring your book back upwards, its previous position altered so you can manage to steal a look at Jack out of your peripheral.
Out loud, you begin to read to him the aftermath of the opera scene, a more tame development following as you manage to get through the next page unscathed. Jack’s kisses at first, are a bit distracting and have your voice betray you, but they’re sporadic and by the time you’ve turned the page, you’re already used to the sensation. You even achieve some comfort in his touch, but that doesn’t last long because when you’re in the midst of your storytelling, you feel Jack’s fingers hook around your shorts’ waistband.
Immediately, you lower your book, a chill running down your spine. “What are you doing?”
He bats his long eyelashes, almost mockingly. “Listening to you.”
“Jack.” For once, your tone is firm, watching aimlessly as he inches the material past your hip bones.
“Lift your hips a little or I won’t be able to get these off you,” he insists, a convincing smile settled amongst his charming features that express his pleasure in this all. “Unless you wanna keep them on?”
It’s a rhetorical question, a trap set up to see if you’ll bite and despite it all, the excitement of what’s to come leads you right where Jack wants you. Lifting your hips with an embarrassing ache in between your legs as you lie in anticipation, continuing on with your reading as Jack goes back to teasing you endlessly.
“Gettin’ pretty worked up over this story, huh?” echoes Jack. “I can tell.”
To demonstrate the meaning of his words, he blows a cool breeze against you that makes you mewl and draw your thighs closer at the sensation. Heart thudding against your chest, your bewildered gaze gravitates back to Jack who kisses you through the fabric of your underwear and has you fumbling for words.
“I didn’t say you could stop reading,” Jack removes his lips, peering up at you with a look that melts you into a pathetic pool of yourself. “You stop, I stop. Sound fair?”
That sounds anything but fair, but who are you to say so? He clearly holds all the power in this situation, you dancing right in the palm of his hand. This has escalated beyond a point of no return and you’re not backing out now so you oblige, opening your mouth to read but uttering out nothing more than a moan as Jack pulls your underwear to the side, his fingers gliding through your wet folds. 
“So satisfying to tease you when your reactions are this good,” he rasps, followed by a low chuckle as his calloused fingertip circles around your clit, eliciting the buck of your hips and the waiver in your voice. “Anyways, you were saying?”
You’re grasping for straws here, trying to tie yourself down to the little sanity (and patience) you have as your frantic eyes try and find where you last left off, straying away every couple of words as Jack does nothing more than use his fingers to distract you. 
“Words, baby. Use your words,” he instructs, and it’s the sexist thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. “We follow...”
“We follow..the people,” you falter, voice wobbly. “We follow the people in…”
Somewhere in that sentence, a hefty exhale blows past your mouth as Jack moves two fingers into you, the curl of them accentuating the end of your sentence with a moan. 
“Always sound so pretty with my fingers in you,” muses Jack, tone low and memorised as he works said fingers in and out of you, your slick building all around his fingers. “Can’t get enough of it.”
You do a subpar job of reading the next few lines as Jack’s fingers pick up the pace, moving deeper in you to milk every reaction you give him mixed in with your slurred words. Your attempt at remaining coherent diminishes completely when Jack’s lips find their way to your swollen clit, a light press of the lips against the hood of your clit before he’s sucking on the bud.
Your words come out in stutters, voice trembling pathetically as he wraps you around his fingers, making a mess of you in the form of kitten licks against your clit and nibble fingers coaxing your building orgasm out of you. His motions stop every time you get lost in the feeling of him sucking your clit, fingers tangled in his locks of hair. And with a whine, you compel with his previous instructions, reading along with the world’s prettiest distraction in between your legs. 
Somehow, you make it to the next page without much delay, Jack’s mouth trained on you as he laps up every bit of you, tongue drawing all kinds of figures against or around your clit. You’re clenching around his fingers more than you can forgive yourself for, body running hot as the sounds of your slick echo throughout the room, the pit in your stomach only growing.
“Just like that, princess,” he hums against your clit, the sensation drawing a tight-lipped whimper from you as your hips follow the vibration. “How many more pages until the chapter’s finished? I don’t think you’re gonna last long.”
And, it’s all true. Body twitching, toes curling and cunt spasming around his fingers that curl in you. Your brain can barely keep up at this point. “So many.”
Jack tsks, his thumb replacing his lips against your clit as he moves it in slow circles. “You think you can hold on till then?”
You answer truthfully, however embarrassing it may be. “No.” 
He laughs briefly when he hits that spongy part inside of you, your back bowing off the stacked pillows behind you as Jack continues to hit the exact spot that has you seeing stars. 
“How ‘bout a compromise?” Jack starts, your hips lifting to meet the insistent thrust of his fingers. “You tell me how badly you wanna come, and you get to ditch the book whilst I make you come. Sounds good?”
An awfully generous offer considering how your brain has turned to mush and can barely keep up with any of the inked words on the page right now. So, you agree. Enthusiastically.
“Please,” you mewl with a puckered forehead, gazing down at your beautiful boyfriend with his tousled hair and glossy lips. A sight for sore eyes. “Please, J. I wanna come.”
“How bad?” He doesn’t miss a beat, eyes challenge yours.
“So bad,” you keen when his other hand lays over your stomach, applying pressure to the spongy spot that teethers you on the very edge. “Fuck, it’s only you. Only you can…make me feel good. Please, J.” 
The begging works. It always works and with that, you drop your book, long discarded amidst the mess of the sheets as your fingers tangle in Jack’s hair as he sucks roughly on your clit again. Rocking up against his mouth, the angle of his fingers renders you completely at his mercy, uttering stuttery breaths as he brings you over the edge, applying pressure in all the right places because he knows your body better than you do, gushing slick flowing from you as you ride out your high, brain reduced to syrup. 
He doesn’t even wait before you’ve caught your breath that he sends you a flirtatious wink in between your quivering thighs. “So, opera date next week?”
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thebibliosphere · 9 months
Text
Hm. I'm rereading something I wrote, and I can't decide if it's going to be infuriating for some readers, or if there will be more going "OH, same!"
Given that my readership is largely in the Autistic 🤝ADHD vampire fan club (Vlad), I'm hoping it'll be the latter, but it's still making me hesitate because it's not how people expect sex scenes to read.
Everything's usually boiled down to a laser-focused precision of sensations and evocative, heated language -- and that does eventually happen with this. You just have to get past Vlad's brain wandering around for a bit because while Nathan's doing a good job of getting his attention in the moment, he's not being consistent, and it's giving Vlad's brain time to wander. Like noticing that Nathan squints a bit when he reads. ("(Hyperopia, Vlad’s brain supplied helpfully before he could smother it.)") Or just generally having full-on conversations in his head in the downtimes between stimulation -- and by downtime, I mean the split second it takes for Nathan to grab something from the nightstand.
Another part of me worries people will think I'm playing to stereotypes or I'm hamming it up to be "quirky," but given my brain is the epitome of the "hyper 8-year-old boy who can't sit still shiny disorder" despite being a 36yo cis woman, I've pretty much resigned myself to some people calling Vlad a stereotype anyway.
A larger part of me just... kind of really wants to see this kind of thing in a sex scene. I want to see my own thought patterns and acknowledge that even when you're getting hot and heavy with someone -- arguably an act that should consume all of your attention -- you'll still find your mind wandering. You'll notice something out the corner of your eye and go, "fucking shit, laundry, do not forget, do not forget" (and then you'll forget), or you'll be about to go down on someone, and the dick joke your friend told you three months ago will pop into your head and suddenly you're snickering with no tactful way to explain it.
(This is another thing that I always think is sorely lacking in sex scenes. No one's messy. No one's laughing like an idiot because they just thumped their head into the headboard, or a joke just popped into their head. Or someone's body made a fart sound because there's lube in places and things are thrusting. Like, maybe it's me, maybe I'm weird, but I think those are the moments you can build real romance out of. Not necessarily erotica, because those things (supposedly) aren't sexy, but there's so much emotion you can show with partners who are able to laugh with each other in those moments. You can show so much love and reverence through the mundane it hurts.)
It'd just be nice, for once, to have the character be absolved of the guilt that often happens in those moments because you're supposed to be focusing on what is happening, and your idiot brain just won't shut up.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter too much. It's a short story I'm hoping to fling out at some point (as soon as my idiot brain shuts up and lets me finish it). But it feels more important than it actually is because it feels like I'm exposing a major part of my psyche. Like pinning down all the ugly parts of my brain that can't ever actually be pinned down, no matter how much I try.
idk. Words. Things. Stuff. I'm going to try and finish this and then see what I want to do with it.
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