#mentally i am still in their little outing

[jimblejamblewritings]

love letters and second sons | part 4.

Summary: The princess is finally ready to debut in society. But before she does, she decides to disguise herself and see the true faces of the ton.

Warnings for the Series: light sexism in line with the times, light classism in line with the times, mental health stigma, shitty doctor care, smut, suicide attempt (will get it's own warning when the time comes)

Warnings for this part: smut

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x princess!reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Previous Part | Series Masterlist

The cloak wrapped around you felt like velvet. The softness between your fingers calmed you down significantly. Reynolds grabbed your hand after the fifth time you balled it up in your skirts. You looked up to see your three valets trying to hide the concern on their faces. You could have an incident or get caught or both. None of those three options were ideal or even good. 

“Do I look decent?” you asked as the carriage got closer and closer to the party. 

“You look perfect.” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t wear the mask?” 

“You don’t have to but keep it on you.” 

You agreed, exiting the carriage with a letter from the princess version of you — complete with a wax seal — that was basically a pass to enter any establishment no matter what. Spotting Penelope and Colin out of the corner of your eye, you breathed out a sigh of relief and ran over to them. Both of them wore wide smiles at your surprise arrival. They had been expecting a letter or something to signal your arrival back from Ireland. 

You were sad to hear about Marina not joining you all for this evening. It would have been nice to know her more than a little bit in between the courting of suitors. But there would be more times to meet and catch up later. Plus, hearing your friends’ stories of their daily lives proved to be a good enough distraction. You let them go after a while so Colin could escort Penelope to the dance floor like he promised to do after a run in with Cressida Cowper. 

Looking around, you failed to immediately locate the rest of the Bridgerton children. You grabbed a drink from the lemonade table and began to wander. The alcohol had looked appealing but you had never drank, afraid of the consequences if drink mixed with your illness. Someday you’d try some but not after an episode. Never right after one. 

On the outskirts of the party, still close enough to hear the music, you ran into Benedict. He gave you a smile and the same surprised look on his face as Penelope and Colin. You leaned in closer to hear him over the deafening melodies of the orchestra. Small talk that was mainly about your fictitious trip made up the first half of your conversation. After a while, you grew comfortable with each other as if you never left. 

“The lights are beautiful,” he commented, staring at the small lantern display that a scientist presented. 

You nodded. “We have some at the palace. They add more day by day but it would be nice if all of London, maybe all of the world, had these little lights. How has your art been?” 

“Not terribly well. Nothing seems to be good enough.” 

“Well, what are you drawing?” 

“Still life. I can’t expect my free drawings to be good if I can’t depict what is right in front of me.” 

“You are too hard on yourself, Benedict seriously,” you argued when he scoffed. “Sometimes we have a problem seeing our own greatness. You ju—” 

“Would you ever consider marriage to someone, me, perhaps?” 

You choked on your lemonade. “Pardon?” 

“Apologies.” He finally turned to look at you. “With Daphne out in society, people have started looking at Anthony and because my dear brother does not care to at least pretend to be a proper viscount, they have started to look at me. Ravenous mamas are eyeing me and it must be a matter of time before they talk to me.” 

You laughed. “You still call me Miss Keaton yet you want me to help you through a marriage?” 

“Wait, what is your name, actually? If you are to continue being a friend of the family then I am at liberty to refer to you by first name.” 

“Bergamot. My parents were a bit too keen on gardens.” 

“That is a lovely name.” 

“Thank you… I still won’t marry you.”

Benedict scrunched up his face as he bent over to try and plead with you. “Please! I can’t be out here with the wolves.” 

You patted him on the shoulder. “Your whining, no matter how pathetic and cute, will not work. I will see you tomorrow, alright.” 

He muttered something that you didn’t hear while you took off into the gardens for a stroll. You’d have to leave soon, pressing your luck wasn’t the way to go. You put your cloak back on and closed it to hide your dress completely as you finally put your mask on. The gardens at night were very beautiful. Perhaps because you were alone. 

You chuckled at the thought of your interaction with Benedict. Even if it happened only a few moments ago, it was hysterical. It was only funnier because you were sure that when you finally introduced yourself to society, you’d get even stranger proposals. Only they wouldn’t be to avoid hungry mamas. And they wouldn’t be coming from one of your friends. 

Hopefully, they wouldn’t be too upset with you. Hyacinth would never but she was more like a little sister than a friend. Benedict would think the whole situation is funny, hopefully. Daphne might as well. Eloise and Penelope could go either way. Anthony would probably be mad that you let him attempt to woo the princess when you knew the truth which would make Colin and Gregory and Francesca mad at you as well. But maybe it would be fine after you explained everything. 

The sound of voices caught your attention. Spying was wrong but you couldn’t help yourself. You started to walk into the hedges, ignoring the twigs catching everywhere. The view wasn’t the best but you could see well enough. What could be a scandal between Daphne Bridgerton and Nigel Berbrooke seemed to be a very different scene to you because you knew the man from her letters. You tightened the mask around you just in case you needed to leave the bushes. 

Nigel kept coming close to Daphne. You began to run when he grabbed her, thinking of how to protect your friend. You’d have to hit him. That was the only option. There was nothing else you could do about it… You paused as Daphne pulled her hand back. There was Nigel Berbrooke on the ground. After being punched. 

You and Daphne looked up from Nigel to see the Duke of Hastings running into the garden clearing as well. The two of them seemed to realize that you were the princess and you were in the garden with them having witnessed everything. They bowed to you deeply, something you returned. 

“I will survey the area. If I do not return then you two may safely leave the garden.” 

“Thank you, Your Highness.” 

“It is no trouble really. I am so sorry for your distress, Miss Bridgerton, and I do hope your hand feels better in the morning.”  

You did a thorough check of the area to make sure that Daphne wasn’t compromised before fleeing to your carriage before anyone could spot the mask. Assuring your valets nothing went wrong, you closed the carriage door and let it drive back to Kew. 

“Thank you,” you said as you took off your mask and cloak and opened the carriage window since it was night. 

“For what?” 

“For making me go out tonight. I did need it. I feel better, immensely.” 

“That is good. We are glad to hear it. Will you be going out again tomorrow?” 

“Just to the Bridgertons.” 

“Oh, to home then.” 

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue because they were right. Being at the Bridgertons felt like home more than your own at times. Maybe because your mother and father were the only ones who even tried to be a proper family. But there was no trying with the Bridgertons. They just were family. 

That much was true when you walked into the house a lot later than the early morning to see everyone but Eloise in the drawing room, talking about Daphne and the Duke. You said hello, greeted by hugs from everyone who didn’t see you yesterday. You took the plate of toast from Violet, who was trying to get her daughter to eat, and shoved the bread under Daphne’s nose. She took a bite before actually grabbing it from you. Relieved of your mother bird duties, you plopped down on the couch in between Benedict and Colin. 

“What are your plans for today?” 

“Fencing and then a gentlemen’s club and then preparing for a party tomorrow and, dreadfully, a picnic the next day,” Colin said as he handed you a chocolate from the box on the side table. 

“May I watch?” 

“Of course. A beautiful lady will only encourage us.” 

“Since when did you learn to be a flirt?” 

He just shrugged, sitting back to listen to Daphne play the pianoforte and tease her about the duke. You clapped at the end of her piece and requested a second one that she obliged. Daphne would have to play at the palace some time or at least at Kew. She sounded lovely. Closing your eyes, you just listened for a moment. 

“How does a lady come to be with child?” 

Your eyes flew open to see Eloise standing in front of everyone. Violet jumped up from her brief moment of sitting on the couch across from you. 

“Eloise, what a question!” 

“I thought marriage was a requirement.” 

Daphne tilted her head. “What?” 

“Apparently, it’s not even a requirement.” 

“Eloise.” 

“Mama, the princess did say all young women nearing their debut should learn.” 

Violet stuttered as she took the tray of food out of the room, forcing Hyacinth and Gregory to go with her, stating she’d be back in a moment she just needed some water. She turned back for a moment. 

“Daphne, dear, do go on. I’d like to hear some calming music when we return.” 

Eloise trudged over to the couch, sitting on the other side of Benedict. She smacked her brothers’ knees but neither one of them wanted to answer her directly. Colin turned his head. 

“Have you ever visited a farm, El?” 

You laughed as Benedict smacked the back of Colin’s head but stopped when Eloise slumped down in her seat. You tapped her on the shoulder, making her perk up again. Your hand rested on Benedict’s thigh so you could prop yourself up as you leaned over him.

Covering your mouth and Eloise’s ear, you began whispering to your friend everything you thought she needed to know about sex. Unable to help himself, Benedict leaned in to spy, surprised that your information was actually correct. You weren’t lying, the Princess’ court really taught all the valets everything. Eloise sat back, finally satisfied and a lot less worried about a spontaneous pregnancy. Until she became curious again. 

“But why would anyone want to initiate it? Who wants to be with child?” 

You leaned over once again. “No one wants to be with child. Even those who want children. It’s about the pleasure. Sometimes the pleasure of actually liking someone and other times the pleasure being about nothing but you.” 

“What?” 

“The… think about when you start breathing a bit heavier, feeling warm when you touch each other, a… I’ll tell you the rest when your brothers aren’t here. It is a bit awkward. Oh, I’ll even draw you pictures. Only a certain amount of posit— mov— steps are important. The rest you should figure out with your husband.” 

“So you do truly know what you’re talking about?” Benedict interrupted the nearly finished meeting. 

“Did you doubt me?” 

“A bit,” he admitted. 

You sat back down. “Men aren’t the only ones that know what they are talking about.” 

“Sorry to offend.” 

“No offense. None at all. I expect even the kindest and smartest and prudest of men to think such things.” 

“Well, I am still sorry. If not because of offense then because of my ignorance.”

You squeezed his thigh in appreciation. Benedict laid his hand on top of yours. The two of you stayed like that for a moment until his hand held onto yours a bit tighter. He turned to look at you. There was an understanding shared between your eyes. There was no breathing heavy or loving eyes. It was for both of you but in purely selfish pleasurable ways. 

“Are you coming to watch our fencing match?” Benedict asked.

“Yes.” At that he moved your hand closer to his private. “A bit after the calling hour starts. I like to watch the men make fools of themselves.” 

“I am not surprised by that at all.” 

“Shall we wait for you?” 

You closed the gap and placed your hand over the top of Benedict’s pants. “No. You may start without me and I’ll just come when I find the time.” 

“Okay. We’ll play again soon, maybe even another game today. So don’t be too bothered if you miss us playing for your calling hour.” 

Giving an experimental squeeze, you watched the man next to you nod ever so slightly and swallow his spit before moving your hand himself. You both relaxed into the couch completely, satisfied with your understanding. The two men left when Violet came back — it was fairly obvious that calling hour was about to start. The calling hour was several hours but at some point you had just dropped the s and you weren’t sure why. 

You thought it would be only one or two men but the duke seemed to have lit a fire under the other men’s feet. The line became rather long rather quickly. You were happy for Daphne. The more men the better. Maybe she could get a love match.

You took the last bouquet of flowers for Daphne, thanked Lord Colfield, and went to go put the flowers in a vase on the fireplace mantle. You were about to tell Daphne that you were leaving to see her brothers’ fencing match when Anthony came storming in. A gasp escaped you when Nigel Berbrooke came up behind. You were completely over this little man and his obsession. 

Without thinking, you approached Anthony. “What do you think you ar— Anthony, you and Nigel need to either leave the drawing room as this is your sister’s calling hour or wait in line if he is here to call? These lords and gentlemen have waited a great deal to talk to her and they are very patient. It is not right nor just nor of any class to disrespect the patience they have shown.” 

“Nigel?” Berbrooke scoffed. “Who do think yo—” 

“The Young Princess’ valet. She’s become a family friend,” Anthony cut Nigel off. 

At least Berbrooke had the decency to be surprised and then give you a bow. Their tunes towards you changed completely as they almost looked like they were going to wait their turn or just leave. Nigel smiled. 

“Callers were unexpected as we have already been talking extensively.” 

“Lord Berbrooke is the only man who proposed and therefore the only person I consider.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” You looked at Anthony.

“He is the on—” 

“Everyone! I am very sorry but you must leave. Miss Bridgerton’s calling hour is currently closed. Please leave your name with Heroldt, starting with the order you have been waiting, and two days from now we will continue.” You turned to Anthony as everyone filed out without complaint since they thought the princess was the reason for calling hour being over. “There. Now, Lord Berbrooke, I must speak with the Bridgertons alone. I hope that speech staved off the wolves for you if only for two days while matters are discussed.” 

“Thank you, Lady…” 

“Miss Keaton,” Anthony answered. “Thank you, Bergamot. Lord Berbrooke, do you need me to escort you?” 

“No, no. You have business. I can find the front door on my own.” 

The moment he left, you, Daphne, and Violet descended on Anthony. Every word that came out of Anthony’s mouth made you scoff. Violet looked between all three of you, very upset. Anthony was ruining both Daphne’s prospects as well as his own prospects with the princess. And you were there to witness it all.

You backed Daphne on everything. Even if she was wrong, Nigel was a foul man that you would never allow to marry. You approached Anthony, speaking lowly although your friend and her mother could still hear it. 

“I hope you survive whatever poison you are drinking. Whether the Duke is a serious man or not, there are plenty of serious men here. You will not sign away your sister to such a foul man that you barely know as well and pretend it is in her best interest. And you will not expect her to be understanding or appreciative when you don’t care an ounce for your sister’s happiness. And you still wish to draw up a marriage contract? Please, just think for a moment… Good day, Viscount Bridgerton.” 

You stormed out of the drawing room and straight into the backyard where Colin and Benedict were handing their fencing gear back to a servant. They noticed the furrow in your brow. Benedict clicked his tongue. 

“I will find out what is wrong. You, brother, instruct the kitchen to leave something out for us. If there is crying then we will be long.” 

Benedict practically dragged you to the far side of the backyard. He knew no one would think anything of it when you were very angry about something Anthony did — that part was loud enough for everyone to hear. He looked at you when the two of you finally stopped. 

“Was that a ploy to get away? Or are you genuinely mad at my brother?” 

“I don’t want to talk about why I’m mad at Anthony. There’s nothing you can do anyway. Not without a good scandal… Sorry, I came out here for a fencing match. Let us focus on it. On you.” 

He took your hand again, placing it over his trousers. You began to rub it back and forth, the fabric between you guys creating friction. You reached into his pants and pulled out his cock, stroking it a bit more freely. Benedict pulled you closer. His hand reached around your ass to squeeze it.

Every time you stroked him closer to finishing he would squeeze harder than before. You watched his face the entire time. If you got back exactly what you were giving him then you would be a very happy woman. It was truly going to be about selfish pleasure for both of you. 

You gasped when he all but ripped the top part of the dress as he tried to push it all down to expose your breasts. He wanted something else to stare at that would get him off even quicker. You tried to stifle any moans threatening to escape your lips as he groped you — some of the marks so hard you were sure they would be a bit red until tomorrow. This was his turn. Yours would be later. If you both tried to get pleasure at the same time... Well, that's how people fall in love. The two of you weren't stupid to test that.

Benedict moaned and for a moment both of you were worried someone would come see what was the matter. He laughed underneath your hand covering his mouth. 

A shudder went through him and he grabbed your wrist. “I’m going to come. I-if you let g-go… just in m-my britches.” 

You dropped to your knees, shocking your friend. He grabbed your head with one hand while he bit down on the other until he finished. A very gentle touch lifted you up. He wiped stray bits of lipstick from around your mouth, wiping the evidence away on the inside of his vest. 

“I have to say I did not expect you to sit down for the last round of fencing. We were done anyway.” 

“Well, I wanted to help put up the equipment so we could all relax later. Plus, if the princess does choose to invite you all to Kew then I would like you to help put up the equipment there too.” 

Benedict laughed. 

“I promise whether I win or lose. The next time we have a round of fencing, I will put up the equipment. All of it.”

He leaned down to whisper.

“Even if you are not a lover, I would never have you on the ground, sullying your pretty gowns and body..." He squeezed your breasts one last time before helping pull your dress back up. "with grass and dirt stains. I promise I’ll bring you your pleasure next time we are inside and alone. I will leave first and retire to my room. You stay out here and eat the sandwiches the cook left. I won’t be able to return for at least an hour.” 

“Okay. I have to go see the Featheringtons and Miss Thompson anyway.” 

You did just as Benedict suggested and no one even gave you a suspicious look. You took your own sweet time going across the street. You had moved the physician and all of Wednesdays special tutors to Tuesdays so you would have more time in the city. Despite not wanting any visitors, you were the obvious exception and could go upstairs to see Marina. She looked up from her writing desk when Penelope announced she was coming with a visitor. 

The three of you gathered on the bed to share a plate of sweets. You mainly listened to Marina and Penelope, not having much to add. You wanted to figure out a way to help her. Trying to meddle in daily affairs and save the lives of one subject at a time seemed almost ridiculous. But, that was what you should do as a royal. 

“Did you say Spain?” 

“Yes. That’s where all of George’s letters are coming from at the moment. They all say Spain.”

“If you ever need a letter to Spain or to anywhere else they send Sir George, just let me know. The princess wants to help her subjects, especially women, so give me a letter and I’ll give it to her. Whenever you need.” 

Marina flung herself at you. “Thank you. If there shall ever be a problem, I promise I will say such.” 

“Oh, the princess is going back to the palace for a few weeks because of something important so I won’t be so available for a little bit.” 

“What will she be there for?” 

“You will find out when it happens.” 

The two of them giggled. “You are so mysterious.” 

~~

You were tired after an exhausting day but a letter you received from a footman that same day made you get up. Anthony had given you a key to the front and back garden gates as well as the back door that led into the kitchen. You entered through the backyard so you could actually get inside the house without waking the entire house with your knocking. You only needed Violet and Daphne. And you had a letter to leave just in case you couldn’t wake a single person. 

Voices made you pause. You recognized Eloise and Benedict talking. Instead of going any further, you just listened. Eloise — like so many other women — wanted better for herself. It had never been a question of something you would plead to your brother… You sighed. You knew your brother. It was time to stop thinking of him as the heir. There was a reason everyone was going to support Younger Charlotte’s claim over her father. And Young Charlotte listened to you. She planned on making you her advisor. There would be no pleading. You would make better laws for women. 

You didn’t want to disturb them too much so you flung the letter at Benedict’s head. Running as fast as you could, you ignored their confused calling out for you once they recognized the letter coming from the princess. Hopefully, Benedict or Eloise would get the letter to their mother before Nigel could come back. 

Dear Dowager Viscountess, 

I am nothing but my mother’s daughter and therefore it is, in fact, my job to meddle in the lives of our precious subjects for a better and more peaceful United Kingdom. Miss Keaton has told me much of your troubles in regards to a man called Lord Nigel Berbrooke. I don’t have much information on him but I do have a request that I would ask you to aid your princess in. 

I recall an acquaintance of his. A maid. She used to work at the palace but asked for a job in the ton so she could be closer to her aging parents. I believe she was employed by a neighbor of the Berbrookes? Or a friend? Or maybe them, who knows. She was supposed to come back two years after they died but has yet to return. Nigel or one of his neighbors must know. Or perhaps, his mother, she’s very close to the maids. Knows every single one of them by name. I care terribly for this maid and would like her working back at the palace.  

Please meet with his mother. She loves crumpets with any sort of preserves or a chocolate dipping sauce. It was all she wanted when she requested a meeting with my second brother. 

That is all I have to say. I do look forward to seeing your family properly. 

Yours Truly, 

Princess Y/N Kew 

P.S. Please tell Anthony that it took him long enough but I am proud he finally came to his senses. If only he can learn to listen to a woman first then he might have less problems.

You smiled to yourself as you sat in the kitchens. The staff couldn’t stop talking about Nigel Berbrooke’s bastard that he doesn’t take care of and the mother he sent away before she even gave birth. You would feel bad but you had a very personal and up-close view of the man’s real personality. The morning only got better when Brimsley and Reynolds came in with Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers. It was on the front page of the pamphlets. Absolutely worth paying the two pounds per pamphlet for everyone in the Kew household. 

“Do you think he’ll ever show his face again?” 

“No,” the cook said as she handed you your breakfast. “You did a good thing for Miss Bridgerton, Your Grace.” 

“Your Grace?” 

“It is just a title we are trying out.” 

You hummed suspiciously. The cook ignored you. 

“You better pack if you don’t want to be late for the carriage coming today.” 

You nearly forgot. The reason you couldn’t hang out with the Featheringtons and the Bridgertons arrived. Your cousin Friedrich, the prince of Prussia, was coming for a visit. He agreed to marry a British girl to strengthen the alliances and prove that Prussia and Britain were still close family. It was neither a complete truth or a complete lie. The entire family was not close. But you, your cousin, your father, your mother, and your aunt were very close. 

Sneaking out wasn’t an option. You thought that much as the carriage neared Buckingham. It had been a while since you snuck out the palace — a completely different thing from simply leaving Kew. Pandora, Brimsley, or Reynolds would sneak you your letters and you would be satisfied. Besides, even though your family was coming for an indefinite amount of time, you only had to stay a week or to. 

The carriage hadn’t even stopped completely before you ran to hug your cousin. It had been years since you last saw each other. You could hear your mothers laughing in the background. They left to have tea inside while the two of you stayed out. 

Friedrich took your hand in the crook of his arm. “Come, cousin, let us take a promenade. Have you been well?” 

“I have been better. However, I am doing well.” 

“And your illness?” 

“Not better. But I haven’t had an episode that I couldn't recover from on my own.” 

“That is good. I suppose that is the best we can ask for. Especially since I have a surprise for you.” 

“A surprise?” 

“I asked Aunt Charlotte and she agreed to let the princess accompany me to events as she knows the ton better than the both of us. You have to wear your mask but it is still a good deal.” 

“It is a wonderful deal.”

“Good. The first event is a ball tonight.” 

“Tonight?! But I’m not prepared.” 

“I’ve already had everything arranged.” 

“You planned this?” 

“I figured it would do you good to get some fresh air and get out of the palace… or Kew, now.” 

“Thank you, Friedrich. Seriously, thank you.”

(part 5)

THIS FIC TAGLIST:

@fredsbetch @cherrylovers-world @chrystinaamanda @grassclippers @flyestvenustrap @spookystitchery @lovelyygirl8 @ben-has-arrived @tragically-hipp @cherrysxuya @alowint @jackierose902109 @boojaynaqueen @thesparkling-diamond27 @intothesoul

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#benedict x reader #benedict fluff #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton smut #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton smut

[fumekara]

hi! 💟

Is it okay to request if you could write angst/fluff story where satosugu tries to convince the reader that they don't have to be tough and independent; they can depend on the boys 🥺💟

SHELL 

SatoSugu x Gn reader 

Plot:  You could not understand what they found so special about you and this led you to exclude yourself from the relationship with the strongest jujutsu sorcerers.

n/a: English is not my first language.

I would like to emphasize that I wrote this fic inspired by a personal experience gained in my struggle with personal insecurity with which I am going through a course of therapy to learn to love myself and the choices I make more. By this I do not mean to justify the choices the reader makes, I have tried to meet the needs of this request as best I can, but I would like to emphasize that the reader is not taking actions related to shyness, but to real episodes of depression related to low self-esteem. 

I would like to conclude this introduction by saying that if you find yourself in an emotionally difficult situation and feel that you have mental health problems, do not close yourself off, but have the courage to ask for help from the people around you. Don't be afraid to show weakness in front of others, go to therapy and don't suffer alone, ask for help and accept help from others ❤. 

I hope you enjoy this fic. 

Tw: Angst, the reader has low self-esteem, hints of depression, comfort, fluff, tooth-rotting fluff 

WC: 3K

They had noticed that you were behaving strangely. Your attitude towards them had changed and even though you repeatedly denied it and repeatedly reassured them that everything was fine, they realized that there was something wrong with you. 

It was as if something had drained your light and before long you started going to them less and less, avoiding confrontation. 

They knew that your relationship was something you still had to get used to completely, they always tried not to force it so as not to frighten you. They never took lightly the difficulty you have in offering your trust to others, they understood this and were always patient with you. 

However, something was wrong. 

Lately you were more distant than usual, not only physically, but also emotionally. At the beginning of the relationship you were, yes, a little cautious. Like a traveler who has to consider which route to take on a journey for which he is not prepared and which could prove stormy. With time, however, you began to open up more and more with Gojo and Geto. You were never used to relationships, but there was something about them that made something new arise in you, a physical and emotional connection that you had never experienced before with anyone else. You came out of your shell and in return found a deep connection that made you happy. 

Yet, for some reason, the two men were sure that you were returning to your previous state, in which you were completely closed in on yourself. 

The suspicions had begun a couple of weeks earlier. 

One evening you had come home from work later than usual, Gojo and Geto had stayed home because they had the day off and had become suspicious when you did not return at the usual time. Geto had tried to call you to make sure everything was OK and that nothing had happened. He was always the most considerate of the trio, so he felt a little worried when you didn't answer his call. Gojo had taken it lightly at first and hadn't paid any attention, he had reassured his lover by telling him that you had probably stopped somewhere to run an errand and had left the phone on silent mode. 

However, as the hours passed, he too began to worry: you still hadn't come home for dinner and hadn't answered the other five calls you had made. The anxiety increased when they realized that it was starting to rain outside and that you had not answered the sixth call.

At that point both men began to panic. It was not like you to arrive late without notifying them and not answer their calls for so long. Had it not been for your arrival a few minutes later, they would surely have gone out to look for you or called your colleagues to find out where you were. 

You were drenched and exhausted, Geto and Suguru were under the impression that you had spent the last few hours running in the rain. 

You had justified yourself to them by saying that you had missed the train you were taking home and since they had canceled the next one, you had decided to walk home and could not call or answer their calls because your mobile phone was dead. 

Another time Geto had seen you crying in your room after you had reassured him for the umpteenth time that everything was fine at work. There he realized that you did not want to be seen as weak in front of them or anyone else and that made him feel guilty. Some time later he mentioned this to Satoru, who told him that days before he had noticed that whenever they asked you how you were doing when they were worried about you, you always replied the same way: 'I'm fine', 'I can manage on my own', 'Don't worry about me', and by then it seemed to have become a nursery rhyme that they no longer believed, and neither did you really.

You too realized that you had changed and you knew that at any moment Satoru and Suguru would also notice. After all, you are aware that they love you madly and would put your priorities above theirs at any time. And even though you did your best to be inconspicuous with your growing discomfort over the past few weeks, you realized that they were really worried about you and were doing everything they could to figure out what had happened or what they had done to make you feel so sad and challenged to open up to them again. 

But nothing happened.

Nothing happened to make you doubt their love for you or change your mind about the romantic relationship you had entered into with them. You love and adore them just as much as they love you. You are happy with your dynamic and how you have managed to feel so comfortable with them since you got together. They never did anything to make you feel like you were too much or did not deserve their love. 

But you felt it and it was your fault. 

Another thing Gojo and Geto were aware of was that the armor you had built for yourself all your life was largely due to your insecurity about yourself. 

Lately, you started to feel like you were too dependent on them in your relationship and not because they made you think so, but it was you who thought so. For some reason, your mind started to bring out your deepest insecurities and you started to believe that you were out of Gojo and Geto's reach and that they were making a mistake in getting involved with you. 

Even though you knew they loved you, part of you feared that those thoughts you had tried to repress for years were partly true. 

Gojo and Geto, the most skilled and strongest sorcerers in jujutsu, with a reputation that precedes them and a line of people willing to give a kidney to be in your place and have a chance with them. And then there's you, who still couldn't understand what they see in you. 

‘How long will it be before they realize how insignificant you are compared to them?’

‘What will happen when they tire of your weakness?’

‘What will you do when they realize that you are not important to them?’

That time you came home late from work because you said you had missed your train and you didn't answer your calls because your mobile phone was dead wasn't true. 

I mean, yes, you had missed the train, but your mobile phone was charged. 

That day, the negative thoughts were stronger than usual and the idea of calling Satoru and Suguru to pick you up from work just to avoid having to walk home made you feel so needy and you feared that they would think you had to completely depend on them for even the smallest things. So that night you tried to ignore their calls on the way home and suppressed the urge to answer them. You knew they were probably worrying about you, but you had to pretend your mobile phone was dead, otherwise they would be suspicious that you hadn't called them.

However, even if you had done it in good faith, that gesture had only made you feel more selfish because you had made them worry unnecessarily and from that day on you had decided to be more independent and autonomous. 

As long as they have known you, they have known that you never feel enough in everything you do and they have promised to do anything and everything to make you realize that all those thoughts that make you feel wrong and unfit are actually a bunch of bullshit. 

They have always tried to show you their love by making you feel accepted as if you were enough for them. Because you were not just enough for them.

You were more than enough for them. 

From the first moment they realized they had fallen in love with you, they knew you were the missing piece to make their life complete. That is why they asked you to join them in their relationship and you made them so happy when you accepted. They felt so lucky to have you in their lives, that's why they never stopped making you believe otherwise. 

And now they felt guilty that you were doing everything to hide your true emotions, they realized that you felt like a burden. 

That is why, after much discussion, they decided to corner you and confront you once and for all. They wanted to understand what was making you feel so bad, because the thought of you having to go through this alone made them feel sick at the very thought. 

At that moment you were in your shared bedroom, sitting on the bed while folding the clothes you had taken out of the dryer a short time before, and the two wizards had decided that this quiet moment was the best to talk to each other about what had happened.

The first to enter was Suguru, who with his usual calm demeanor approached you thinking about what to say. When you became aware of his presence, you greeted him with a slight smile as you folded one of your shirts. 

"Hey, babe." 

"Hey, love," he murmured as he sat down next to you in a corner of the bed not occupied by the various piles of clothes, "do you need a hand?" 

"No, I'm fine," you replied. 

Suguru took a shirt from the basket of clean clothes and joined you in folding. 

"Sugu, no need, I can do it," you told him, noticing that he ignored your reply.

"No problem, I like to help you," he told you as he folded with his usual sweet expression.

You nod and continue doing what you are doing. At that moment Gojo came in, who had wanted to wait a moment before joining you, so as not to arouse your suspicions. 

He joined you in the room and, as if feeling excluded by the fact that you had folded your clothes without him, he got down on his knees in front of you, slowly hooking his long arms around your waist and resting his head in your lap, grunting in his usual way when he wanted to be cuddled. His actions made you emit a soft laugh through your nose, the fact that he was so hungry for touch made your heart warm each time and as a response you paused to brush your hand over his thick white locks. 

You enjoy these moments with them which, given the circumstances, seem to be increasingly rare. However, you have the feeling that the fact that they both came to you at that moment is no coincidence. 

Without lifting his head from your lap and opening his eyes slightly, it was Gojo who spoke first: 'There's something we need to talk about, Y/N.

You raised your eyebrows and turned to both of them staring at you, noticing that you were beginning to worry. 

"What is it about?" you asked, hiding your skepticism.

Satoru had moved away from you leaving your hands free which Geto took between his own to instantly reassure you. "Y/N, Satoru and I have noticed that you've been a bit distant lately," he said, stroking your hands with his thumbs.

“We're really worried about you,” said the white-haired sorcerer, putting his hands on your knees. “You're not talking to us like you used to.”

“Like I used to?” you asked trying not to let the panic show in your voice “But guys I'm fine, there's nothing-”

“No, you're not fine,” Suguru interrupted you, and you watched as he approached you further bringing your hands to his mouth kissing them in apology. 

“Y/N, you haven't told us how you really feel for weeks, we can see it,” he continued “When we ask how you are you say you are fine, but then we see you with a dull face crying and suffering in silence. You don't tell us the truth.” 

Satoru sat by your side and put his hand on your back “That time you came home late and we worried we saw you had your phone charged, why didn't you call us?, you were angry with us” as he spoke you brought a hand to your face because you felt tears moistening your eyes.  

“Y/N if we did something wrong tell us,” Gojo rippled as he rubbed your back very thoughtfully, there was not an ounce of irony in his voice, which was rare for him, but which showed that he really cared about you and was willing to take this situation as seriously as possible. “We love you and don't want you to go through this alone,” he replied, causing Suguru to nod.

At that point the tears began to come out without you being able to realize it. You put your hands in front of your face pulling up with your nose. 

“My love, oh no,” Suguru said mortified as he took you in his arms and wrapped his strong arms around you making you sink your head into his broad chest while Satoru planted a series of kisses on your head.

They waited patiently for you to vent before letting you speak, your eyes red and swollen from the crying that had accumulated over the past few weeks and that they wished you had pulled out of so much. At that moment you felt so stupid about how you had behaved. You hoped that your behavior would lead them to not care and not worry about you, when in fact you had achieved the opposite result. You felt so bad for making them worry, and now you were crying in the knowledge that you had made them feel like the cause of your ills for weeks. 

“It's just” you paused, “it's just that I don't want to be a bother, that's all.”

At your confession they were stunned and for a moment looked at each other with the same frowning and puzzled expression, but decided to let you continue. 

I don't want you to think that I depend too much on you. I fear that sooner or later you will realize how weak I am compared to you. The words came out of your mouth interrupted by your sobs and the tears that streaked your cheeks. ‘That time I didn't come home I thought I would annoy you if I asked you to pick me up and I know it sounds stupid, but I don't want you to think I'm annoying or a burden.

“That's not possible Y/N” said Gojo, replying immediately ‘you are not and never will be a burden to us’.

“What made you think of all this?” asked Geto, lifting your chin and wiping away a tear with his thumb and looking straight into your eyes, deep and black , you glimpsed a picture of genuine love. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I still don't understand what you see in me, I'm not comparable to you..." Your words were interrupted when suddenly the man in front of you attached his lips to yours, preventing you from finishing that sentence that they found ridiculous. It was a firm and violent kiss, but one that hinted at all the love he was feeling for you.

He pulled away from you leaving you open-mouthed and with your eyes completely wide with astonishment and stared at you with a serious look almost as if he were furious: "Don't ever say that again Y/N’"

At that point he took your face between his large calloused hands and softened his gaze without breaking eye contact with you ‘You mustn't say those things about yourself, they aren't true and you mustn't believe them. Satoru and I are so happy to have you in our lives and we would like no one else but you, no one.’

Satoru turned his head away from you gently pushing Suguru's hands away from your face and forcing me to look at him "You are wonderful, we are completely in love with you’, they both hugged you again wrapping their limbs around you ‘We love you, we adore you, we are completely crazy about you and I can't get enough of you".

Suguru continued: "You are such a caring and kind person, you are a genuinely good soul, Satoru and I don't know what we did to deserve you and we would never, ever want you to think otherwise. And it's not just us who think that, Y/N." 

"You must realize how much you are loved," Satoru replied. "You are not what you think you are, you are so much more. I wish you could see yourself as we see you" he broke away for a moment to kiss first your forehead, then your nose and finally your lips in a chaste, warm kiss. 

You were trapped between the two men for you don't know how long, but you didn't care, in that moment you couldn't stop crying. You could not believe their words and all the dictionaries in the world would not be enough to give a definition to the pure love you felt for them. For the first time in weeks you would let your emotions and pain come out of its shell and this time you would let them, the people you loved, absorb your pain, which they were willing to do and would do from now on. 

For the first time in weeks you felt part of something again. 

"Satoru and I think that maybe going to a therapist might help you" Suguru said into your hair, "It helped us when we went through not difficult times, it might help you. Don't feel obligated, we just think it would be good for you if-"

"You are right" you interrupted him.  

It was time to turn one's life around.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk #satosugu #satosugu x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #gojo x geto x reader #geto x gojo x reader #jjk angst #geto angst #gojo angst #satoru x reader #satoru x you #geto x you #geto x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gn reader #jjk geto #jujutsu geto #jjk gojo #satoru gojo #satoru

[sweetbans29]

Teach Me: The Art of Teasing - PB

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Readers

Previous Part

Summary: You and Paige have been best friends for the last 6 years. You trust her completely. And it is because of that trust that you ask her a rather forward question. AKA - You ask Paige to teach you.

Warnings: Mature, I didn't proofread this one, I will eventually 🫠

Word Count: 4.7k

Sweetbans Masterlist & Teach Me Masterlist

AN: Well well well. We meet again 😉

Friday night approached faster than you had expected. You went on the date with the girl from your class and everything went well. Both of you hit it off right at the start and the night ended with her asking to see you again. Overall it was a good time.

You get back from your date to find Paige in her room playing Fortnite. Coming in, you plop on her bed and start scrolling through your phone.

If there was anything that you learned about your best friend it was to not interrupt her while she was gaming. You only made the mistake once but it was enough to never do it again.

It was junior year of high school and you and Paige were heading back to her place after practice. Your dad had put them through a brutal practice and even though you weren't physically involved in it, it was mentally exhausting. Due to the teams' physical exhaustion, their game was off and it was hard to watch.

When you got to Paige's house, she went straight in to take a shower and you fell on her bed - falling asleep almost immediately.

You wake up, the sun already set and the only light source in your best friend's room coming from Paige's computer screen.

Stretching, you let out a low moan, your head still pounding from earlier. You sit up and scoot over the side of the bed closest to where Paige is sitting.

You tap her shoulder, wanting to see if she wants to get food.

She ignores you, eyes glued to the screen. Her headset is on and you know it would be pointless to try and talk to her.

You keep poking her, at one point trying to hold of her hand to get her attention. It isn't until Paige jerks away from you that you realize you may not be wanted there right now. You take the hint, trying not to feel too hurt that your best friend is ignoring you, and make your way home.

It wasn't late enough to be worried about driving but your headache should have been. You get home and immediately open your fridge grabbing something to eat then make your way to your own bed.

Sleep comes a little harder for you this time around - your mind is still on Paige pulling away from you. You watch the practice footage to try and pin down what the team can do to adjust, taking some notes as your eyes begin to feel heavy again. You fall asleep with your phone in your hand.

You are woken up by someone pulling your phone out of your hand.

Your eyes flutter open as you see Paige moving your phone to your nightstand.

"B?" You ask confused as to why she should be here.

She doesn't say anything, but rather gets under the covers next to you and curls up next to you. When she does, you slightly inch away from her still feeling the sting of pulling away from you earlier. She sighs.

"I'm sorry." She says. You don't respond, not really wanting to talk about it right now - not really sure why her pulling away from you affected you as much as it did.

"I get so wrapped up in the game and after the practice today, and I - I don't know," Paige says as she is now tossing in your bed. The frustration evident.

If you were honest with yourself - there is really no reason for you to be upset at the girl. You just watched the practice film again and it is clearly visible how much Paige was off her game. At the end of the day - she has the right to be frustrated even if it comes off on you.

"Noted - don't bug B when she is playing Fortnite," you joke, knowing there is no point in holding a grudge over something so simple.

Paige pushes you, then immediately pulls you back to her.

"I guess I am just not as important as your game," you say jokingly.

"Shut up and go to sleep," she says. You just shake your head and turn over, falling asleep next to your best friend.

That was also the night that you learned Paige doesn't like to sleep alone.

You aren't waiting long before Paige is off her game, jumping on her bed next to you. You don't look up from your phone when you hear her speak.

"So...how was it?" She asks, not fully knowing if she wants to hear the answer.

"It was good, we really hit it off. She wants to go out again next week," you say with a smile.

Paige just nods. She pushes you a little further.

"Did you get to up our first lesson to use?" Paige asks.

"Maybe," you say with a light blush creeping into your cheeks.

You did put your first lesson to use but it wasn't what you had expected. The kiss came after dinner when the two of you went for a walk before she dropped you off.

It was nice, but it wasn't like kissing Paige.

Never in a million years would you admit that to her, you couldn't. She's your best friend. She also goes out and has her own fun, so why couldn't you?

Paige pushes you in a teasing manner.

"Okay okay, we both need to go to bed - it's an early practice tomorrow and you, little miss, need some rest." You say as you bop her nose.

She gives her cute little Paige smile and you get up and begin to head out of her room.

"You aren't staying here tonight?" She asks - trying not to show her disappointment.

"I just need to wash my face and change B, I'll be right back," you say going into your room.

Paige sits on her bed and she feels that nagging at her heart again. She picks up her phone and scrolls through it, finding a familiar name, and shooting them a text. It takes less than a minute for them to respond.

[Come over, I'll be waiting] - 10:33pm

Paige gets up and grabs a jacket, making sure it isn't one of yours and walks out of her room.

"You walk out of your room with a clean face and fresh PJs. "You walk out of your room with a clean face and fresh PJs.

"Are you going somewhere?" You ask, ready to curl up in bed.

"Ya...don't worry about waiting up. I'll see you at practice tomorrow morning," she says not making eye contact with you.

"Okay B, be safe." You say, knowing exactly where she is going. There is no hiding the disappointment on your face as she walks past you and out the door.

It looks like you are sleeping in your own bed tonight.

You get to practice early to watch some recent practice films. Since seeing your IQ for the game - Geno invited you to practices which then led to him adding a 'student manager' spot for you on the team. It became a win-win situation. You got to learn from one of the best college basketball coaches and he got to another person to help bring the team to another victory. It also helped that your dad and Geno have been lifelong friends.

You are sitting in the film room - your plan was to watch the practice reels but when you are the first one in you can't help but play older game film.

Putting it on the screen, you kill the lights and sink into one of the chairs.

"My first NCAA championship win," Geno says as he walks into the room. "I can remember it like it was yesterday."

He takes a seat a few away from you and watches just as intently as you are.

"This team was incredible - you went undefeated that season and I can see why." You say, eyes not daring to rip away from the screen.

"Ya, their knowledge of the game was unlike any I have seen before. Their chemistry and willingness to put their head down and work is something that really drove the team dynamic." He says. "I think this team can get there."

You give him a hum.

"How long have you been here?" He asks knowing practice doesn't officially start for another 45 minutes.

"Oh I haven't been here long," you say which was a complete lie. You are into the fourth quarter of the game and Geno knows you never start a film midway.

He just nods, knowing not to push it. Geno has seen you grow up - it wasn't all the time but he is one of the only people who knows you almost as well as your dad. He's the only one at UConn who knows why you stopped playing basketball in the first place and that speaks volumes. He also knows that when there is something on your mind, you pour yourself into the game.

The two of you sit in silence as the game comes to a close.

"I should start watching last practice films," you say as you navigate bringing up the tapes.

"Why don't you go do a shootaround to clear your mind?" He suggests. It has been a while since you have done one and he knows it would do you good.

You nod and he follows you out.

During practices, you mess around with the team but never really put a shot up. And when it comes to working and training with Paige - it is always her. If you were honest with yourself you knew you missed the game - you missed being on the court being a part of the 5.

Geno goes to the baseline and you pick up a ball, beginning to dribble it. You put up your first shot and miss.

Geno hits you with the ball and you do a little step back going up for another. It hits the rim but falls in. You give yourself a nod and Geno hits you again. You make your way around, putting up a variety of shots. On the last one you put up, you hit from deeper than you intended, leaving your hand up as the ball finds its way perfectly into the basket.

You hear clapping come from the back corner of the gym alongside some cheering.

You whip your head around to find Azzi and Aaliyah walking towards you.

"Girl can shoot!" Aaliyah says as she comes over giving you a playful nudge.

"Why have we never seen you shoot?" Azzi asks. "You are actually really good."

"Well duh she is good - she is the reason our team shooting average has gone up 5%," Aaliyah says as if it was a known thing that you could play ball.

The rest of the team begins to arrive and Paige walks up to the three of you.

"Yo P, you just missed it!" Aaliyah says as she goes on about seeing you put up a deep three. Paige turns to you with tired eyes but a surprising look.

Whenever you and Paige would practice, you would rarely put up a shot. She would always encourage you knowing you used to play but you always refused. Paige would try and push it but you would straight up end the practice which then forced Paige to back off. As close of friends as you are - she has never seen you put up a three. Now her teammates have and can't stop raving about it which causes a jealous fire to burn within her. If Paige just would have left and gone home last night (or in the dark hours of the morning) then she would have arrived with Azzi and Aaliyah. But no, she spent the night at that girl's apartment and had to go grab her practice gear before coming.

Paige nods, eyes not leaving you.

You on the other hand were fixated on Azzi and Aaliyah as Geno claps for everyone to get moving.

You make your way to the practice room and Paige runs up to walk with you.

"So you're putting up threes now?" Paige says, trying not to sound hurt because in the grand scheme of things she had no reason to be.

"Just clearing my mind," you say picking up your playbook.

Just as Paige is about to ask why you were clearing your head Geno is yelling at Paige to get geared up for practice so she bites her tongue.

Paige heads in and gets ready.

The team made it through practice - they were getting ready for the toughest game of the season. You are sitting at your desk in the office finishing up some work when Paige walks in and sits across from you.

The whole practice, you couldn't take your eyes off of her. It was painful. The memory of her leaving last night and your imagination creating the plot of what happened after she left had you sick. It wasn't the first time she went out to have a good time with someone who you never asked about but with new feelings stirring in you about your best friend.

"So...clearing your mind?" Paige asks, not dropping the topic from before practice. Similarly to you, Paige's mind was going a mile a minute. She was trying to suppress the jealousy that just continued to build every time she saw Azzi talk to you during practice. Paige had been trying for years to get you to do a shoot around and they got to see you do one without asking. Paige was going to get to the bottom of this if it was the last thing she did today.

"Yep, I didn't sleep well," you say not looking at her. That was as much as you wanted to disclose.

Paige felt her heart fall. You didn't say it but she knew it had to do with her telling you to get ready and then running out last night. She didn't really want to but knew she needed a distraction from you - if Paige was honest with herself, she would have much rather slept by your side.

"I also didn't sleep well," Paige says.

You finally look up at her.

"I'm surprised you slept at all," you say starting to joke with her again.

Paige's hand comes up to her face, rubbing it to hide the blush creeping up her neck and face. She mumbles 'should've stayed home' and you chuckle.

"Well can't change the past but we can both go home and nap," you say packing up your stuff and standing.

Paige stands awkwardly, all her normal confidence drained from her.

You grab her arm and hook yours around it and walk out. Paige tries to shake the feeling of having you so close to her but all she can think about is the feeling of your lips on her. How your skin felt on her fingertips. How her body was on fire when it was pressed up against yours.

The two of you make your way back to the apartment and you immediately fall onto your bed.

"B, come lay down and nap with me." You say, eyes closed. Paige is just standing in your room, slowly pacing.

"B, come here." You say.

She sighs and sits on your bed, not lying down yet.

"Why haven't you ever done a shoot around with me?" Paige asks.

"B, you know I don't want to talk about it," you say with a groan.

"You never want to talk about it," she says almost mad that you won't talk to her about the most dramatic time of your life.

"When I am ready, I will," you say sitting up. "Where is this coming from?" You say coming to sit next to her.

She shakes her head and suddenly feels silly about how much missing you shoot a basketball is affecting her. She looks down at her hands picking at her nails.

You grab her hands and bring them to your lap.

"B, what's up? Talk to me." You say begging her.

"I didn't get to see it," she says. "It is so dumb to think about how much not seeing you shoot a basketball is making me feel but I have known you for how long now and I haven't seen you do what I love. I have bugged you so much to get you to shoot with me and you never do. Now Azzi and Aaliyah have seen something I have waiting so long to see and," Paige tries to find the words.

"Hey, B. No one was supposed to see it. That was for me and no one else. They just happened to get to practice early, which usually includes you..." you say trying to get her to get out of her head over the matter.

"When I am ready, I will tell you, I promise." You say looking at your best friend.

She just nods, looking into your eyes. She slowly begins to lean in, her eyes flickering in between your eyes and your lips. You try to maintain your breathing as Paige moves closer to you.

Her hands remove from yours, one of them coming to your face, caressing it in the softest manner. This is the complete opposite of what Paige was doing last night. Any time Paige goes and meets some random girl it is always fast and needy, always self-focused. This is different. You are different.

You lick your lip and lightly bite down on it. Paige's eyes nearly roll back at the sight. Her thumb comes up and removes your lip from your bite, yet again.

"I should shower," Paige says just above a whisper, her eyes not leaving your lips. Her breathing is uneven. You are right in front of her, she could take you right here, right now and you would be hers. You are willing to let her do anything she wants and you want to tell her that but you just nod.

"When I am out, we will start your next lesson," Paige says as she rubs your bottom lip with her thumb. "The art of teasing."

Paige then gets up and makes her way to take a shower, leaving you there stunned and excited for what is to come.

You lay down and begin scrolling on your phone. After waiting about 20 minutes and still hearing the shower on, you close your eyes to rest.

When you realize you have fallen asleep, you shoot up. Looking around, you see Paige asleep next to you. Her arms wrapped around one of your pillows, her phone right next to her hand. You smile when you see her and lay back down. This is your normal. You missed this.

You lay and scroll on your phone a little longer before getting up and deciding to work on some homework. You grab your laptop, sit on your side of your bed, and begin working. You are deep into a paper when you feel the bed shift.

"Mmmmmm," Paige groans and stretches out knocking your laptop off your lap.

"Hey!" You say grabbing it before it falls on the floor.

"Put it away," she says. "Time for a lesson," she is now making her way to a sitting position as she rubs her eyes.

You listen and close your computer, putting it on the floor next to your bed, and sit to face her.

"I'm ready," you say more excited than you are ready to admit.

"When you are getting ready to start something with your partner - you don't just want to rush into things. You want to make sure that you are getting her ready and making sure she feels good." Paige says as you hang on to every word.

"I am going to need you to be very verbal okay? I need you to tell me everything you are thinking." She says.

"Okay," you respond.

"First I am going to try things on you and you need to tell me if they feel good okay? Then it will be your turn." Paige says as she takes your hand and stands up, taking you with her.

"Got it," you say now standing to face her.

"Close your eyes," Paige says and you give her a questioning look. "Just do it ma."

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

You hear Paige shuffle around and you feel her move your hair to one side of your neck.

Her hands make their way to your waist, almost as if to keep you where you are (or more like keep her grounded). She begins whispering in your ear, lips ever so slightly grazing the shell of your earlobe.

"You look so hot standing here waiting for me to touch you." She says sending chills down your spine. Her lips hover over your shoulder as she kisses it. You hum at the contact.

Paige's lips pepper kisses up your neck. Her hand comes up and tilts your neck to the side, giving her more access.

You groan when her lips hit the sweet spot right under your ear.

"Feels...so good B," you moan as she continues on your neck.

Her hand which is still on your hip, wraps around and makes its way under your shirt, resting on your stomach. Her fingers take in the feeling of your skin on them.

You lean back into her as you feel yourself wanting more.

Her hands make their way to the bottom of your shirt, "Can I take this off, babe?"

"Yes," is the only thing you trust yourself to say.

She lifts your shirt over your head. You suddenly feel like Paige can see everything but you are still in your shorts and bra. Your arms come around to try and cover your front but Paige just grabs them, putting them down and making her way to stand in front of you.

"Don't you dare hide from me, ma. You are gorgeous." Paige says looking into your eyes. You nod and blush.

"Thanks, B."

Your hand is the first to move as it comes up to her cheek and you pull her in. You know she is leading but you have been dying to feel her lips on yours again.

Your lips find hers and she is immediately fighting you for dominance. You cave and give it to her, knowing it is going to be hard to not bend to her will every single time whenever you are in these lessons.

Paige hooks her fingers in your shorts bringing your hips to hers then pushing you down on the bed.

She takes a second to take you in, wanting to remember this even if it is only to teach you.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, confused as to why she stopped.

"Couldn't be better," she says as she makes her way to you.

"So with teasing, you want to get the other riled up. You want to turn them on and get them ready for what is to come. Or should I say to get them to come," Paige jokes and you just roll your eyes.

"You are unbelievable," you say now laughing at your best friend.

One of her hands draws shape on your inner thigh and her lips come to hover above your torso.

"But I'm right, and that is what I will show you," she says as she is now peppering kissing on your stomach.

Her lips make their way up to your chest, then eventually your neck again. Your breath picks up and becomes uneven.

"Your lips feel so good," you say squeezing your eyes shut. She hums against your skin and begins to make her way back down your body. Your hands come up to her head as you run your fingers through her hair.

Paige uses her hands to push your shorts up a little then places a kiss on your thigh and you let out the loudest moan yet. This causes a pool to form both in your center and hers. She moves one of your legs to continue placing kisses on your inner thigh, lightly sucking on your sensitive skin.

"Paige!" You yell, not knowing what else to do. You have never felt this good before and she hasn't even truly touched you. She stops immediately and looks up at you. You are panting now, looking into her eyes.

Her pupils are dilated. Hearing you yell her name does something to her that she can't explain.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from," you say embarrassed.

She shakes her head no, "Don't ever apologize for such a beautiful sound."

She crawls up to hover above you.

"Okay babe, you got a glimpse of areas that feel good, do you think you want to give it a go?" She asks and you nod.

"Come on babe, you know I need to hear you," she says.

"I can try," you say.

Paige lays next to you as you shift to hover above her.

"I am going to kiss your neck," you say a little nervous but lean in and lightly press your lips to her neck. You bring one of your legs in between Paige's and let your weight rest on her.

"Is this okay?" You ask her.

"More than okay ma," she says. "Use your hand to hold my head to the side to give you more access to my neck." She directs and you follow her instructions.

Your lips come back to her neck as you begin to kiss and suck on certain parts of her neck. You hear her let out the quietest moan and you take that as a sign that you are doing a good job.

"Can I take this off?" You ask as you pinch at her shirt.

"Shit, of course, baby," she says and you lift it above her head and toss it to the side of your bed.

Your lips come and kiss the center of her sports bra and begin to kiss lower on her stomach. You take your time kissing every ab. This is what gets a louder moan to escape from Paige's lips as her fingers go to grip your sheets. You continue further down and do exactly what she did to you, pushing her shorts up and kissing along her inner thigh.

Paige has never had someone spend this kind of time on her. It is usually her pleasing other girls and she typically takes pride in that. It is usually her ability to make girls feel good that is enough for her but here she is, sprawled out in front of her best friend - the girl she loves but would never admit to, feeling the best she has ever felt and this was only your first time.

"Feels so good," she moans as you continue to kiss her skin. Her hand comes up to your head. Your hand comes to hers and brings it around so you can kiss the inside of her wrist.

"You are something else," Paige says almost out of breath. You just chuckle and continue to kiss up her arm.

"Am I doing good B?" You ask as you are once again hovering above her.

Her hand comes to your face stroking your cheek.

She wants to tell you how incredible you are and how she wants you to be hers. She wants to tell you not to date that girl from your class and that she'll stop seeing other girls. That she is all yours if you will have her. She wants to tell you how she can't stop thinking about you or the way your lips belong to her. She wants to tell you she loves you and has for years now. But none of that comes out and she takes a deep breath and settles for something that won't expose her love for you.

"A+."

AN: Please let me know what you think, I have mixed feelings about this one. You guys have been awesome in this series, I truly appreciate it! And as always, thank you for you love and support 💙

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers imagine #paige bueckers masterlist #teach me series

[ssunsationn]

Little Things You Can Do To Get Back On Track - Timeless ⏳

If you came from my “Why Am I Still Unsatisfied?” reading, sit back and relax. Take in the messages I am collecting at this moment. These are very simple things you can do today to get yourself back on the track of life.

Note: This is meant to be short and simple, but a storm of butterflies can whip up a tsunami. I got more than what I asked for from my spirit guides today. It seems you have a lot to hear. You never know what could impact your life. “You should be prepared.”

DO BEFORE YOU READ: Clear your mind. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill up your chest to the fullest, feel the air brush against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You are no longer alone. Choose the photo that you can’t take your eyes off of.

—————-

Pile 1. “Simple is best.”

• You could use some vitamin C, to be honest. But don’t overdo it. Learn more about your body and keep up with it—things like how fast you metabolize certain things, but if you’re on medication or supplements, be aware that metabolizing medication is different from metabolizing food. You also either drink too much water or too little.

• If you’re prone to procrastination, start looking for libraries and cafes to help you better focus.

• TAKE BREAKS. Mental, emotional, all of it. Look out the window and observe things that catch your attention. Maybe you’ll start to realize that life does have its small and beautiful moments.

• You don’t have to be surrounded by friends and people all the time. Allow yourself some you-time, explore places on your own—I keep seeing someone wearing a scarf, drinking a hot-warm coffee (coffee is super dehydrating for you btw, so make sure you drink tons of water), fall season. Lounging around in your room and having a show binge by yourself is also good. It’d be nice if you had at least one day off every week to spend by yourself, without the presence of other people.

• Remember that you should recharge yourself too and that saying “no” is okay. You don’t have to be responsible for everyone else.

• Take a walk at dawn, but wear a jacket when you do so. Be wary of your surroundings still, but when you have a moment, breathe in the air of an area that has a dewy smell to it. Damp or rainy seasons work fine. Watch the sun come up for a few seconds and take that time to appreciate your environment.

—————

Pile 2. “Rejection is Okay.”

• Have you gone on any dates recently? I’m seeing a girl with her legs crossed at a cozy cafe, but she’s not bothered by it. She’s neutral in fact, very simple existing, and she’s reading a wall full of post-it notes from other couple. She seems intrigued, although not overly. Just neutral and an “oh, how nice” kind of vibe.

• Perhaps there is a lack of confidence. You should strive to be someone that is okay with being alone in public—specifically LOOKING alone in public. No, that does not make you seem lonely. It makes you comfortable with your own presence. Maybe you tend to think a lot or contemplate often.

• Working on leadership skills could be something. Maybe you’d like to become more assertive? I don’t have too much advice for this group, to be honest. But you should learn how to stand up for yourself more and be careful so that people don’t take advantage of you (for anything/any reason) easily.

• Condition your mind to not caring what others think. Obviously, there’s a limit and rules set in place so that we don’t get in legal trouble—I’m talking about your mindset. Don’t let others get to you easily and work more on your posture. Standing/sitting up straighter will begin to subtly convince your mind and you that you’re confident.

————

Pile 3. “It’s too quiet.”

• journaling can help. It might sound boring or it might be hard to sit in one place for a while, but you have to practice it. Discipline yourself.

• Kind of similar to pile 1, but this is a less responsible group. Don’t distract yourself from your problems and face them head on. Being cowardly isn’t a good trait to have. Be mindful about drinking and what other things you’re putting in your body. This could bite you back in the future.

• Friends may be questionable, may try to convince you to do things you weren’t initially planning to do/try. Be wary of this and stand up for yourself.

• Another thing if you do drink, learn not to drink away your problems or get high enough to escape them. It’s hard, I know. But you have to realize how important it is to live. Don’t be so reckless. If your soul is being let down, you’ll pay the consequences.

• If you feel like a failure or everyone around you says that you are, don’t feed into it. Build yourself up. Make something out of yourself but don’t let those people know. They’ll see it and possibly try to take credit. Don’t let them. Deal with it in a calm and diplomatic manner and turn your head away. You don’t need that extra nonsense. Simple acknowledgement is what they really need, so don’t give them the attention. You’ll mature so much from this.

• It might feel lonely and you may think you’re the only person who’s overthinking/overfeeling about something, or you feel like you’re different from the people you hang out with somehow. A small part of you probably thinks there’s more to life than just…this. Whatever you’re doing to pass the time and simply have fun. Like “they wouldn’t understand so I gotta fake it til I make it” type of energy. Laughing it off type of energy. “Ah, whatever- it’s nothing~” energy. Find like-minded people who share the same interests as you and bond with them. You will experience more authenticity in these relationships than your previous ones.

• Pile 3, you definitely have a bit to learn and it takes work, but you have it in you. The potential is very obviously there. You know it too, but you brush it off—don’t deny it. Don’t be scared of it and learn to speak its language. Reach your hand out to whatever is in that mental cave of yours and show it some kindness. It’s okay for it to come out. You’ll learn that it will take your hand faster than you’d thought. Don’t let doubt get in the way. This pile thinks A LOT and likes to drown it out, because it’s easy. Let yourself think and feel the emotions, bad or good. You won’t even recognize what you were holding back. You have power to impact people more than you realize. Good luck Pile 3, you have this.

————————-

Lil Teddy note: I hope you enjoyed this reading guys!! Today I asked for simple things that my readers could do to improve their lives and become better beings. I meant to keep it concise and give 3D, things-you-could-do-in-the-present type of things, but apparently, I received other messages to give that involved mental and physical health as well. Some piles made me feel worried and passionate, like their higher selves were desperate to get them out of these ruts or situations. The signs have been there but maybe some piles haven’t been taking them seriously or have been brushing them off one too many times. This is your sign man 😂😂 Please, take yourselves seriously and realize that you’ve only got a shot of this. Stay safe, work on that confidence, and learn to be with yourself. With all that being said, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!! Thank you for coming to our reading today :) Teddy outttt

#tarot reading #pac tarot #daily tarot #tarot #intuition #intuitive #spirituality #spiritualgrowth #pick a pile #pick a photo #pick a card

[street-smarts00]

Overwhelmed

Spencer Reid x Autistic!Reader

Summary: Reader gets sensory overload while on a case. Spencer knows how it feels and exactly how to help them.

WC: 1.3k

Based on request

Tags: autistic!reader, gender neutral reader but I only mention pronouns like once. Sensory overload, fluff

A/N: I hope you guys like the fic! I'm familiar with sensory issues cause I have ADHD but I am allistic so I tried my best.

While you were at work it became second nature to mask. Biting back the urge to repeat others when your echolalia was on the tip of your tongue. Bottling up your emotions when they started to feel too strong.

Not stimming at work was found to be the biggest challenge. You tried to find little outlets like tapping your fingertips or playing with your jewelry. But if you didn’t have to mask, you'd probably end up swaying in your seat, clicking pens, or shaking out your hands from nerves or excitement.

Today, you were away on a case with the team. You've been busy since practically the crack of dawn and were both physically and mentally exhausted.

Some of the members of your team were following leads while you and Spencer were going through letters and gifts delivered to the victims before their deaths.

You were reading a letter from the unsub while the loud voices from the precinct seeped into the office your team had settled in. The words on the page in front of you were starting to bleed together. You must have read the same sentence at least 5 times; and yet, you had retained none of the information.

The noise only seemed to get louder and more defined. You could hear at least 4 different voices, the incessant clicking of keyboards, the coffee machine, and a constant buzzing of the electricity from the lights overhead.

And on top of the overwhelming noise, the lights in the room only seemed to get brighter. You kept squinting or rubbing your eyes every minute or so. But nothing could help the words on the page from floating away.

“You okay?”

Your focus was pulled back to reality from the voice across the table. You looked up and met Spencer’s gaze.

“Fine,” you said plainly trying to hide the fact that your head felt like it was going to explode.

“Are you sure? You’ve been staring at that letter for five minutes.”

“I said I’m fine,” you quickly replied a bit harsher than before. You didn’t mean to, you would never snap at him.

You put down the paper and ran your hand over your jeans. Desperate to distract yourself from your other senses.

Your eyes get lost in the pile of paper in front you so you don’t notice Spencer getting up and walking across the room. You don’t notice until the cacophony of the station dulls. It now sounds muffled, almost completely gone.

As you continue tracing your hand against your jeans you hear a soft noise come from behind you. You turn around to see Spencer closing the blinds of the window that leads to the bullpen. He then turns off some of the overhead lights, turning the room dim.

With your mind still fuzzy, you couldn’t comprehend what he was doing but you were grateful for it. The dimmed lights and sound with the added privacy of the blinds helped you start to relax. Yet you still clung to the rough texture of the denim of your jeans.

Spencer then pulled up a chair to sit in front of you and face you.

“Hey,” he held up his hand in front of you. “Put your hand out like this”.

You copied him with the hand that wasn’t running up and down your thigh. Your eyes wouldn’t meet his, you glanced between your lap and his hand.

“Take a deep breath and slowly close your fist while you inhale. Then hold your breath for four seconds while you make a fist. Like this.”

Spencer slowly inhaled as he closed his hand. You copied him with a small shake in your breath. He then quietly counted to four for you to hold your breath.

“Now release your hand as you exhale,” he guided. You copied his actions and watched his hand and you exhaled.

The both of you continued the breathing exercise for a moment. Finally, your head seemed to stop spinning; but there was still a lingering discomfort you couldn’t quite place.

You didn’t seem to notice your hand on your thigh had resumed its search for touch in the denim. Spencer did. He saw you using the sensation of your jeans as a way to self-regulate.

“Y/N, do I have your permission to touch you?” He asked softly.

You nodded your head as no words could escape your throat.

Spencer shuffled his chair closer to you and reached for the hand you still held in the air. He lowered your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He placed his other hand on his knee, open, waiting for you to reach out when you felt comfortable.

Almost immediately, the hand that had previously resided on your jeans now reached for his. He gave both your hands a gentle squeeze before rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. The corners of his lips turned up into a smile as he watched the last bit of overwhelm leave your body. He could practically see the weight being lifted off your shoulders.

You brought your gaze up to meet his. His eyes were so kind but also filled with worry. His pupils dilated from the low light in the room, at least that's what you figured.

“How’d you …”

You knew it was a dumb question. He was a profiler and a damn good one. But your brain still questioned how he knew exactly what you needed.

“Sensory overload occurs when your senses are taking in more information than your brain can process. When your brain becomes overstimulated from the input it translates to feelings of anxiety or extreme discomfort,” he explained. He was a bit worried about continuing as most people would brush off or ignore his long explanations.

Instead, he was met with your attention, waiting for him to continue. He then realized he never exactly answered your question.

“You kept rubbing your eyes, reading the same passage over and over again, zoning out, fidgeting, running your hands down your jeans, and … you kinda snapped at me.” His voice lowered towards the end of his statement.

Your eyes widened and eyebrows raised, “I’m so sorry,” you worriedly apologize.

“It’s okay,” he reassured softly as he gave your hands another gentle squeeze. “I know you were overwhelmed and probably felt out of control.”

A small smile spread on your face. “Thank you.”

He unconsciously matched your smile. “It’s no problem.”

“No really. You have no idea how much this helped,” you confessed.

He looked down and licked his lips while considering his response. “I get overstimulated from time to time. It happens a lot when the lights are too bright. I know it’s a stressful thing to experience, especially here at work.”

His eyes rose to meet yours. Your eyes always shined with kindness and warmth. He hoped he could provide that warmth and comfort for you.

“I want you to know I’ll always be here for you when you need it.”

Your eyes wrinkled from the smile on your face. Spencer couldn’t help but mirror your expression.

After a moment of silence, you realized you still had your hands in his. His eyes followed yours to your hands and his face became flushed. Your cheeks soon turned a shade of red as you both pulled your hands apart from each other.

You cleared your throat before speaking, “Thanks again.”

“You- you’re welcome,” he stuttered as he made his way back to his seat.

It took a moment to return to your work. Not because of the chaos outside the office or the overhead lights. Instead, your mind kept wandering to Spencer’s kind gesture and your hands in his.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, it seemed Spencer’s reading speed was decreasing. His eyes wouldn’t stop from wandering to the person across from him.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid headcanon #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction

[melodic-haze]

OMG FUCKING AYAKA ABSOLUTELY SENSELESS WITH A STRAP GOT ME LIKE UGHMSGGHRKLSH LIKE IMAGINE EDGING HER MULTIPLE TIMES, SHE WAS BEING SUCH A GOOD GIRL, YET YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT AND JUST BE CRUEL TO HER LIKE AGHDSFKKHSJGRHG AGHHHHHH (I am sane)

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Ayaka x dom!afab!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader has a strap, rough sex stuff, BDSM mention ig?

☆ — NOTES: Dude what if I combusted on the spot HELLOOOOOOO GOD I NEED HER (I'm not sane)

I need her to go mental PLEASE

I love the thought that Ayaka's canonically really REALLY pretty but at the same time I KNOW I'd hate it cuz of how she DEFINITELY gets hit on like a lot

She wouldn't be all that clueless of her beauty's reputation but like.......at the same time she kinda is, with the way that she kinda dismisses the attention as basically awe and reverence bc yk. She's in the Yashiro Commission

The attention just. Irks you One Too Many Times 🫶 and it doesn't help her case that she looks soooo utterly delicious, crying bc of you, so you do something about that!!!!!!

Ayaka doesn't know what she's done wrong.

She had sworn she's been behaving like a good girl for you, obeying your every command and being at your beck and call (minus when she's at work for her family's commission, you're not unreasonable), yet she was still faced with such a predicament.

Inazuma's cute little princess was clueless—was it something she said? Or maybe something she had done unconsciously to prompt you to essentially raise torturous hell on her?

She could try to rack her brains, and by archons she did try at first, and yet the only thing that she could even think of at the moment was the severe desperation for release.

The woman could see your borderline sadistic grin grow further as tears streamed down her face, cheeks almost as wet as her gushing pussy that has been mercilessly edged for.. who knows how long, by this point.

"'m sorry," she hiccuped, resisting the urge to buck her hips into your strap because despite everything, she was still your good girl, "I'm so-- mnf, sorryyy-- AH!"

You slapped her ass, pale skin already so red from the previous impacts it's had, before squeezing it roughly as you spoke, "Saying sorry and you don't even know what you're apologising for..."

"B-But I've done everything you asked of me, I--"

"Are you talking back?"

Her mouth clamps shut.

"I said--" and you grab a fistful of her hair to pull her up to your level, your hips moving as if punctuating every pause you make, "--are you.. talking.. back?"

She lets out those pathetic little whimpers of hers as she feels the tip of your faux cock bottom out inside of her in quick, deep thrusts, "I'm sss-- sorry I talked back please--"

"Please what?"

"I need to feel you move please I've been such a good g-- GIRL-- oohhhthankyouthankyou thankyou--"

You had relented to her wishes with an eyeroll, your hips practically slamming into hers as you pulled on her hair as a way to keep her upright. That along with the pain from having her hair pulled in the first place and all that pent-up lust from not being allowed that sweet release had easily helped escalate that impending high.

Ayaka knew that such a state of undress, such an expression on her face, was unbecoming of the graceful White Heron Princess but at this point? The only thing she was concerned about was being your princess, along with what she had been chasing this entire--

She doesn't register it immediately, but when she notices that you've deliberately slipped out of her cunt--

"Funny, how the Kamisato clan's very princess whines like a pathetic bitch."

Another climax absolutely ruined by you, yet she still doesn't know what she did wrong.

But she won't fight back, she won't ever fight back. She was your good girl, and good girls don't only do what they're told.

They take what they're given too, no matter what.

I don't even have much to say after writing that I'm ngl

Just that she's definitely a bit of a masochist lol

God she would just be SO FUN to toy with no matter how hard or soft you go just saying 😜😜😜😜 who knew such a reserved girl was a whore all along

There's a saying for this somewhere you all know what it is guys

Anyway enjoy 🫶

#hazy demos! #hazy explicits! #ayaka x reader #kamisato ayaka x reader #kamisato ayaka smut #ayaka smut #sub kamisato ayaka #sub ayaka #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact smut #sub genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin smut #sub genshin #genshin women x reader #genshin women imagines #genshin women smut #sub genshin women

[nuumbie]

KARMA’S A DOG.

Prompt: You’re a prized worker at the IPC Marketing Department. You spend your days waiting for that flash of black.

Trigger Warning: Reader is mentally ill and a little shit head. Curse Words. General Violent Terms and Reader Gets Ragdolled. Boothill is NOT into you!!! He actually hates you! Guilt! Etc, etc… it’s just all hurt no comfort.

Author’s Note: Written to celebrate his trailer. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Contains spoilers regarding his character story.

He’s resting peacefully. This should still count as sleep. You pose the question in your head if you replace the pieces of something, how far until the thing is something else entirely. But he’s still alive. You find relish in that.

He still has his head. Maybe, that’s all he has. You wonder how the surgery must have gone. Of course you’ve met people who’ve changed themselves so drastically with robotics that you couldn’t recognize them after the surgeries. It’s a rebirth in ways. When you change so dramatically that you’re a different person by the end. His body’s 90% metal. 10% flesh. So, wouldn’t it be the cybernetics that win?

Despite everything. You don’t think so. Perhaps, that’s all that he needs. I think therefore I am. There’s no doubt he’s alive. Not to you, anyway. He’s brimming with human life. He’s more alive than you. Not in the same way where the question poses in your mind with other beings, or creatures, Boothill is obstinately simple.

You like that. He’s simple. The Hunt is straight forward. A single path. A single road. You like that you don’t have to read his intentions. You know what he wants and why.

Boothill. Galaxy Ranger. IPC Hunter. The Man who just tried to sneak into your office and put a bullet through your head like he has with many of your employees, those who’ve worked directly under you no less. You know. Most criminals don’t get this far. Not far at all past Pier Point. Oswaldo will have a riot.

If he knew he would. You’re not going to tell him.

Boothill is special.

The cowboy opens his eyes. Your personal grim reaper.

“I see you’re awake.” You smile in a loving way. If you can even manage that. People who can control their expressions make it seem so easy. Laying across his chest. You’ve opened up his core to play with his inner circuits. He must not like that, though considering there’s a burning hatred in his eyes which threatens to scorch you. You glance up towards his face and sigh and ignoring the lingering, simmering, resentment. His body is heating up beneath your touch. So, maybe it resonates with his feelings, you wonder if his body steams. “We need to stop meeting like this. You’re going to make me think you’re obsessed with me.”

It’s the opposite way around. You know that. But the very idea that it isn’t causes him to lunge at you. The cowboy turns into nothing more than a blur, all the wires connected to the body collecting samples that took at least a good thirty minutes pulled from him. Some ripped from the walls, and in instants he’s on you.

“You dang—“ his hands make its way to your shoulders, you’re flipped without hesitation. his hands grasping you down, he lays on top of you. breath heavy. robots don’t breathe, though, so you try to think of another word as he catches himself and tries to make it so he’s the one on top. “— you again!?”

“I’ve been meaning to get my hands on you… you oughta’… you ANGEL!” He screeches. Music to your ears as he shakes you more like you’re more ragdoll than person. “AEONS, it’s so freaking annoying! You absolute delight! How did I lose to…”

“Thank you so much for the compliment.” You smile back. Probably the only one getting anything out of this arrangement. Pinned against the floor hand pressed tightly against your waist so you can’t struggle. He should’ve pressed it against your mouth. But it isn’t like you’re going to scream. You’re certain. Lots of women would love to be in this position you’re currently in. But it’s you. And this is far from some sweet, pure, little romantic story. You’re not delusional. Though, you act like you are purely because it annoys him. It’s good for him to build up his rage, his contentment, good. “I was just looking over your upgrades since the last time you invaded Pier Point. As for asking how I beat you~…”

“The electronic upgrade was not the best idea.” You smile. “If we can control your language, your body isn’t hard especially for a renowned genius like me. Have to talk to your doctor about that. You’re lucky I’m the one that found you. Where’s my thanks?”

“Aeons, of COURSE you Market-Phonies have something to annoy the DANGNATION out of me.” he grinds his teeth, looking around for his pistol. making a point about how dead he wants you. you can feel his grip loosen and tighten. he’s likely processing which one would get you to be quieter. “Where’d you put it? My gun. I’ve decided. I’m killing you now. Puttin’ ya out of your misery, sweet-face! You think this is rough? Think of a 9mm lead in your skull will be?”

“Cabinet.” You put on your best smile. “For me?”

“Of course for you. Love you.” You didn’t take away his ability to say hate. So, he must have said something like screw. Or maybe it’s a replacement for something else? You just know it’s bad. “You knew this was coming. I’m not going to miss my shot again. You should’ve killed me when you had the chance.”

You did know it was coming. You wished he would get the one person above you first so you could witness your boss with his brains blown out, the outcries that an Emanator of Qlipoth killed. You could have gotten wine with Diamond and laughed about it and died happy knowing the world was washed clean forever of Oswaldo Schneider.

But you can’t be so lucky. You’ll have to wish him luck. If he actually manages to kill you that is — you’re not making it hard.

He grabs you by the neck so you can’t struggle away to call help. The iron hands encased over your neck like a shackle isn’t a bad feeling. You almost quote as such so he might grab you a little tighter. Sadly, it seems his finger is directly over your windpipe— making talking an impossibility. He really doesn’t want you to run. Not like you would. Dragging you as he goes towards the cabinet. He presses you against the wall one-handed.

Using his other hand to peruse through your belongings. Even if you struggled. You doubt you could make a dent against the material. You’ve always been more of a pen instead of a sword guy.

It seems he’s smarter than you thought. Since, he checks the bullets in the gun. Rather show-offishly, too. He clicks the trigger against your head and nothing comes out. He counts them out, too. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

You already knew that none of the shots would ring. But here’s a certain heart-pounding feeling even if you know it’s empty. He clutches the gun even tighter.

Obviously, you’ve cleaned them out. He glares at you. Of course you’re the one at fault. Of course you were smart enough to know the first thing he’d do when he woke up was try to kill you. Of course you wanted to see the look on his face when he got his gun back when he realized it was empty. “Don’t you have spares? You eat them, don’t you? Just shit them out.” You smile. It’s hard to talk.

The floor hits you. Hard. Or maybe you hit the floor? Either way. It hurts. Your head spins. But, you collect yourself. Maybe. Dizzy people often can’t tell they’re dizzy. “You going to kill me right? You don’t need a gun to do that. To make it painful. To get your little revenge.” You’re sputtering. Aeons. It be embarrassing if you didn’t say that. If you’re slurring. Though who are you to ask for a clean death?

“I don’t get you.” Boothil’s boot presses against your chest— “make up your mind, you wanna die or not? You’re seriously flip-flopping.”

You smile back at him from the floor. “I’d rather my employees not go down with me when you’ve got to escape. Jeremy just got a promotion. You won’t die here, will you space cowboy? So, you’ll have to make your way out.”

“Might as well limit the casualties.”

“You took everything from me.” Robots don’t stumble over their words. Robots don’t hold grudges. People do. People live for others. “What right do you have? You have way more blood on your hands than I do.”

“You’re not wrong.” you repeat, quietly. “It’s karma. It’s justice. I’m so happy you exist.”

“I could never ever dream of it. I could never.” You smile. “So I’m glad that you did. Thank you.”

He looks down at you.

He steps back. You already know. Too self-aware for your own good.

Maybe you should have shut up. You already know you’ve messed it all up. The way he looks at you.

“Everyone here’s so fluffed up.” he grimaces. rubbing his shoe against the floor. “Anyone the IPC touches get’s gosh-dang ruined.”

You know why he did. You ruined his life. You did. So, it was only fair he did the same in return—

Reaching out— before you realize it. “Hey, wait.”

“You’re not dragging me down with you! I want you to pay I’m not letting you off easy. When we meet again. I’ll have changed this place forever. And you’ll be forced to live with yourself.”

He doesn’t even look at you.

He lets you go and he runs out the door. You hear the sounds of loud screams. Shooting guns. It turns into a blur after a few seconds. They’re going to fail to apprehend him. You hope.

On the messy floor. Your lab a wreak. You’re sure. They’ll come here. They’ll question you.

You’ll lie. Jade can tell. But she won’t tell on you.

“Fuck you, too.”

You put your hands over your eyes and you just ignore everything until someone comes and gets you.

You’ll meet him again. You can wait. It’s all you ever do.

#boothill #boothill x reader #hsr #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #🗑️ trash writes #x reader

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Surprise! I am going to rant about my own redesign and art! I think this is me mentally preparing for the helluva boss episode next week and praying to god it’s actually good. I’ve also been nursing a bit of a hangover today so forgive me if my wording is a bit more jumbled than usual

Im a big fan of my Angel Dust redesign, but in the general aspect of my art, a lot of my poses are a bit flat. That can be from either posing issues on my end, trouble with facial features, or just some secret third thing, but I think so far Ive been enjoying drawing much more cartoonishly as of recent. That vox canon & headcanon drawing was super super fun to do even though it was supposed to be vivzies style, but I used to have a style with more sharp angles and pointy curves that I honestly kind of miss, I also miss playing with cartoonish proportions!!

My art style may end up changing eventually, but my main pieces will stay in my usual style and my more doodle-y ones will probably be in a more cartoony style like the ones above. While theyre definitely closer to canon and meant to be inspired as such, the difference is that I can draw diverse body types in said artstyle! I also cant lie, Angel’s chest fluff is one of my absolute favourite things to draw and it’s so easy in this style…

About my redesigns though! This is mostly about Angel, but I’m gonna slap this here from DMs with a friend: “Im so pleased with this genuinely im so happy he has his little pedipalps, theyre technically also still his fangs but now he can move them and stuff and :33 typically for male spiders the pedipalps are a reproductive organ but that isnt the case for angel or many other arachnid or insect sinners id say so I think personally most of them have developed pedipalps for primarily other reasons like fangs in Angels case or maybe something similar to cat whiskers for other people”

In my original angel dust redesigns I just couldn’t find a way to draw his fangs in a way that made me happy because I want to keeo the same energy in his face as the original. Big clunky fangs that stick out just didn’t work for him and while they made him look like a spider, he lost that sort of angel-ness that I need when drawing him so I instead looks to the pedipalp aspect of spiders to move them off of his mouth and more onto his cheeks. It’s a very small change but it improved the design in my eyes significantly and just really made me a lot happier. I wont be updating his redesign post as of right now and maybe never will, but if I do yknow why now!

I just really really like drawing this guy a bit rubbery, hes supposed to be fluffy so like he should move kinda soft in a way? I dunno how to explain it rn, its 2 AM at the time of writing this so im gonna lay the hell down now!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #angel dust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin angel #anti vivziepop #angel dust hazbin #angel dust hazbin hotel #angel dust redesign #hazbin redesign #hazbin hotel redesign #my art #will add alt text later

[thecapricunt1616]

Chicory (c.b. one-shot)

♡ Chapter Inspo: Chicory is perfect for love spells, & sex magick, it is also a natural aphrodisiac - this being because it is a great source of the androgen hormone androstenedione. ♡ Summary: You wake up to find Carmy's dirty little book he's been hiding from you, and convince him you want to try some things out from it, too. ♡ W/C: 3.5K+ ♡ Posted Date: 05/28/2024 ♡ A/N: Hellooooo!!! Happy day 3/7 of the Capri 200 Follower Celebration Extravaganza!!! You can find said extravaganza ♡ Here ♡ this celebration will be going until next Sunday (06/02/24)! We're getting todays party started early because I am physically incapable of sleep today I guess!! Lol anywhore - This O/S is based on ♡ This ♡ request, from my Darling Dirty Olive Martini otherwise known as the goddess herself @carmenberzattosgf ! Give her a follow NEOWW!!! I hope you love my dear Martini baby! Your other request is still in the works xoxoxo ♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutty smut smut, embarrassed Carmy, unprotected sex, AFAB!Fem!Reader, Reader not described pic's are purely for vibes only, swearing, and typical TB trigger warnings

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You and Carmy had been dating for about 2 months, and it was an extraordinary two months. While he wasn’t the best at communication, he tried, and he tried very hard. He was an amazing learner, and would pick up what you put down the second he realized he made a mistake - do his best to fix it, and not make the same mistake again. In regards to the bedroom, your pleasure came first, it was like that from the beginning. It wasn’t something either of you discussed, it was more that Carmy was the one who did the leading most the time, and you followed & told him what did and didn’t feel good. 

Most of the time, he was dead set on solely your pleasure. You could remember the amount of times you’d had penetrative sex with him, as much as you hated that you kept track, it was just in your nature to do so. He hadn’t let you go down on him yet,saying that he was ‘all good by eating you out’. On top of your lack of experience together - he also liked to have the lights off most of the time. You were much more sex forward than he was, so you just chalked it up to being shy, and didn’t think anything of it.

That was until he was sleeping one night next to you, falling asleep after eating you out for a straight 2 hours, you couldn't even remember the exact number of times he made you cum. You also weren’t sure how his jaw didn’t lock up. 

The reason you had woken up at such an hour, was because your hand brushed something hard and papery under his pillow when you stuck your hand under it in search of his to hold. You carefully pulled the foreign book out, and in the dim moonlight that peeked through his navy blue blackout curtains, you read ‘BDSM Kinktionary - The ultimate guide’ and oh - had that thing been read. The spine had been very broken in, it was clear this specific book of his was well loved. 

You flick through it, to see that there were multiple pages that had been dog-eared for later use. You got up quietly as to not disturb him, padding out to the kitchen where he kept the light under his microwave on. Leaning over the counter and flicking through the pages, finding the first one that had been dogeared and reading it. 

Bondage - The restraint of a person, either by physical item (cuffs, rope, etc.) or instruction (known as mental bondage). Restraint can be full-body (vacuum beds, suspension) or involve a single body part such as the eyes (blindfold), mouth (ball gag), wrists or even thumbs. Bondage may include furniture like sex swings and devices like handcuffs. 

It had various photos of different things mentioned and you raised your brows. “Carmy have you been holding out on me?” you whispered to yourself, a small smile on your face as you flicked to the next page that had been marked by a fold and read ;

Cockwarming / Soaking - Where one person puts their cock into their partner’s mouth, ass, or vagina (if they have one), and leaves it there for a set amount of time to, well, ‘keep warm’. Some people use it as a punishment, some people just like the feeling of it, some use it as a more intimate & sexual form of spooning/cuddling, and some use it as a method of trying to conceive after a creampie (see pg. 32).

You see a little star next to the definition made with red ink likely from a pen, and the word ‘creampie’ was underlined as well. Your mouth dropping slightly - this is likely what he wants to try. When you and Carmy did have sex, he would usually cum on your stomach, long thick white ropes of seed painting all the way up to your ribs, dragging his fingers through it before putting it to your lips to which you gratefully accepted and licked them clean. You tightened your thighs a bit at the thought. 

The bedroom door popped open quietly “Babe?” Carmy said, voice gravelly and deep with sleep. You jump in surprise, nearly hitting your head on the side of the microwave as you were bent over trying to read without your glasses in such dim light. “Wha’s up-” he asked padding over. He saw the cover on the counter behind you, eyes widening and eyes flicking back to you. His cheeks go pink “Uhh.. how- how did you - shit - fuck - m-m’sorry babe it was- I-” he ran a nervous hand through his hair taking a big nervous breath.

“Cockwarming?” you said and he rubbed over his mouth and chin nervously 

“It’s - i-it’s- y’don’t have t’do any a’that babe it was just a um-”

“A fantasy?” you cut him off. He bit his bottom lip roughly, swallowing thickly. His whole face and neck were red with embarrassment, he looked honestly like he could cry. Like a teen who’s porno-mags had been discovered. “I think it sounds…really hot” you grabbed the book off the counter. “I know you don’t really like getting head so-”

“S’not that I don’t like it. I just…I haven’t done it alot an’I don��t wanna embarrass myself n’stuff.” he rubbed his arm nervously and you stepped a bit closer, gently resting your hand on his chest right over his heart. You could feel it thumping against your palm like a monarch trapped in a plastic cup. 

“You can’t embarrass yourself with me Carmy, we talked about it. The way our bodies react to things- how fast they react, it’s not something we can choose. I’d never judge you, is that why you didn’t wanna tell me the stuff you want to try? Cause you thought I’d think it was embarrassing?” you asked him softly.

He looked at the floor, shutting his eyes and sighing “yes” he admitted quietly, “how much did you see?” he asked nervously

“Enough, I didn’t even know that was like a thing? But it sounds hot- can we try? I mean..we dont have to- but I could go right now, if you want to” you asked. He held his hand on yours, gently squeezing it. 

“I’ve never done it-”

“So we can learn together then, right? Things are most fun that way, anyways. I love doing new things with you, Carmy. It makes me feel close to you” you admitted. 

He pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face in your neck and holding you close. “Thank you” he muttered into your skin, the tip of his nose chilly since you two had fallen asleep with the window open last night.

“F’what baby?” you asked, rubbing over his back, your finger pads gently brushing over the little moles adorning his skin like tiny constellations you traced over in early mornings just after his alarm went off and he was still rousing for the day.

“Bein’ you” he said and kissed the fleshy bit where your shoulder met your neck and a smile graced your lips, gently petting his hair “I wanna try if you wanna try…I mean really wanna try, not just ‘cause I wanna do it, cause you actually want to” he said. 

You pulled away, tilting his head to look at you “I want to.” you said, your voice honeyed with honesty and desire. 

He tugged you by your hand back to the bedroom, kissing you deeply tugging you close by your hips and his hands traveled down your back, over your ass, squeezing and you moaned a bit, cupping his jaw and rubbing your thumb gently over the stubble that had grown since he shaved in the shower yesterday morning. He hummed softly, carefully sitting on the mattress and leading you to straddle his hips, playing gently with the hem of your panties between his fingers. 

You opened your mouth for him, gently sucking on his tongue when he slipped it in your mouth since you know how much you both liked it and he moaned softly, gripping your ass tighter and pulling at the skin. You smirked into the kiss, pulling off after a few moments with a pop 

“Want y’to touch me” you said sweetly, gently kissing the corner of his slightly parted lips, his breath coming out in soft warm pants against your cheek. 

“Mm” he hummed softly reaching one of his hands under you, gently rubbing at your clit “y’sore?” he asked softly “I wasn’t too rough earlier was I?” he questioned as you kissed down his jaw, and over the hickeys, you’d left a few days ago on his neck. He wasn’t too stressed about them because he would just tell anyone at work to fuck off and there wasn’t going to be another friends and family night for a few weeks. 

“No love, m’okay, that was so nice earlier. Made me feel sooo good, Are you ok?” you gently stroke his jaw with your hand and he smiles a bit 

“Yes babe, m’fine. Feel good?” he asked and rubbed a bit firmer, in response your hips jerked a bit in his hands and a little breathy oh escaped your throat

“Yes jus’ like that babe feels so good, I love your pretty strong hands” you lovingly kiss his temple, resting your forehead on his “I fuckin’ love it when you touch me like that, bear” you said and his cock twitches in his boxers beneath you, already hard in briefs. It never took him much, but especially when you used his name. 

That name, his nickname. The name only the closest people in his life called him, the name that coming from you - made him feel confident, strong, dominant. “Can’t fuckin’ focus when y’bein so sweet baby c’mere” he pulls his lips to yours again, pushing your panties to the side, breaking the kiss of course to ask “thas’ok right?” carefully rubbing his fingers through your slick 

“Mmhmm, Course sweet boy - Feel how wet I am? All f’you baby. Y’so sexy, and so brave for telling me what you want from me, hmm? My brave Bear” you gently play with his curls, combing through them with your fingers. He kissed you again, cock grinding up against your pelvis unintentionally. You knew how much praise turned him on, he yearned for it. He carefully pulled back your hood, brushing the rough pad his middle finger over the sensitive bud. 

You whine into his mouth, hips jerking at the sudden, intense bolt of pleasure and in retaliation you took his bottom lip between your teeth and pull gently. Your eyes then fluttered open to see his hooded blue eyes darkened with need, long eyelashes fluttering his cheeks when he blinked. 

You sucked his lip between yours, sucking gently on it as he carefully trailed his hand down your slick folds, spreading your nether lips with his fingers a sticky click being heard when that same torturous middle finger that was teasing your innocent clit a few moments prior, breached your dripping entrance. Your mouth falls open, letting his lip snap back into place and a moan tumbles from your own lips. 

“Yes- fuck yes baby” you sat back a bit to take another knuckle in and he buried his finger to the palm, curling it and uncurling it around your gummy walls, a lewd wet schlick noise coming from your pussy as he did so 

“Sound so pretty” he breathed arching his finger a bit deeper and brushing against that lovely spongey little spot that made your clit pulse and fire grow in the pit of your belly. “Want another princess?” He asked, and unable to speak, you nodded, jaw dropped. You grind down onto his hand once he added his ring finger, rolling your hips so you were essentially riding his hand as he continued rolling his fingers and pressing on that spot. 

You were feeling that heat shooting to your core, your juices leaking down his palm, and wrist, droplets racing down his veiny forearm to nestle in the crook of his elbow. “Oh- oh-fffffuuuck” you whined out, rolling your hips quicker as you chased your high. “Mm so sweet - y’so sweet Carmy- letting me use your hand like this, thank you” you give him a hot, wet kiss, lingering for a moment. 

“Lemme help you mm?” He pushed your back to lay over him fully, cheek pressed to his chest “I like takin’ care’a’my girl” he said and quickly matched your pace with his fingers, continuing to curl them into that spot with every thrust in to his palm. He groaned softly at the short high pitched little whimpers you made as you went slack over his chest, your hips twitching as your walls fluttered wildly around his fingers, sucking them back in each time he pulled out. 

“Feels so good- sososo good” you rambled, nearly drooling on his chest you were so far away in your orgasm. 

“Y’always do so good princess, always so good, can y’give me one more? Ye’? Then you can fall asleep on m’cock mm? You’d like that I bet, you always whine when I pull outta you” he said hotly in your ear, voice thick with lust and pure need. This was the game you two played, he would fuck you absolutely dumb, so that he got comfortable enough to talk dirty thinking you wouldn’t remember what he said or that you were too caught up in your own nearly atomic orgasms he was determined to lure out of you to be able to hear him properly. 

“Need it- need it- want you-“ you choke on your words, hips arching into his touch as he continued his assault on your gspot, this time adding his forefinger. “There- there right fuckin there I’m- I’m gonna make a mess shit fuck-“ you sob out, thighs nearly shaking with pleasure. “Carmy Carmy- Carmy- oh!” His name fell from your lips like an invocation. 

“Thas it pretty girl. Fuck- so fuckin hot- make a fuckin mess all over me angel.” He massaged that spot with his fingers, the heel of his palm giving delicious friction to your clit that was causing your brain and your mouth to disconnect, the string of lewd swears and filthy moans going unheard by you as you were pretty sure your vision went white behind your shut lids and your legs went fully numb for a moment. 

You came back a few minutes later to him whispering praise into your hairline, littering little kisses over it and gently brushing your wet sweaty hair from your forehead. “So so good baby. Always so good f’me huh? Y’gonna let me take care’a’you now?” 

You picked your cheek up from his chest, your skin sticking to his and pulling away like scotch tape, slow since you weren’t in a rush to move being so exhausted and very comfortable where you were. “Hey you, gonna lemme clean you up so we can try this thing out?” He carefully brushed your baby hairs from your face that were wild and curly with sweat from the encounter. 

In response you hum softly, in agreement, throat feeling dry as you sat up to let him move. He carefully reached over you, opening his night drawer and grabbing the feminine wipes he kept in there for you, as well as grabbing your water bottle from the tabletop.

He holds the straw to your lips “big sip f’me, ye’?” He cradled the back of your head gently. You leaned in, taking the sip he requested, and as soon as the icy water he assured your cup stayed filled with passed your lips one sip turned in to a few big gulps, eyes shutting in bliss. “Goood girl.” He praised gently. Hearing the bubbles at the bottom a few moments later, meaning you’d hit ice and it was empty so you pulled away, your tongue darting out to lick your dry lips

“Thanks” you said softly and pecked his shoulder with your chilly ice water lips gently. 

“You go do what you gotta do, I’m gonna fill this up mm?” He kissed your head and got up, heading to the kitchen. You went to the restroom, making sure to wash your hands which you know he did as well since you heard the kitchen sink while you were sitting on the toilet rubbing your tired face. 

By the time you got back, he was already switching out the fitted sheet for a clean dry one, in clean boxers - his problem still evident, standing tall and tugging at the fitted fabric. “Carm” you said softly and he looked up at you 

“Hey baby- y‘waters there got you a granola bar if you want it too. Wasn’t sure if y’just wanted to go to sleep but i'd love if you had a bite or two- 

” he goes on. The only time you had a hard time getting him to stop talking was when he felt as if you needed taking care of, turning into the male version of his sister, as you’d quickly found out how she treated him the few times you’d met her. 

“Carmy” you said again, stopping his rambling. “What about the book- the cockwarming thing? Did you…you don’t wanna do that with me anymore?” You slipped out of your now wet panties and flicked them into the laundry basket. 

“Oh- oh-“ he watched them fly and land on your shared pile of dirty clothes from the week of you sleeping over. “Uh- no- I-I mean yes yes I wanna do it with you, I can um…let me get a condom just in case I like- accidentally-“ you stopped him once more

“If you came inside me on accident I think that would be really hot.” 

He stopped digging through the drawer and looked over at you, cheeks flush. “Did you…take your thing?” He asked, like it was a secret. You laughed a bit at his boyish awkwardness regarding woman’s products. 

“I don’t take a thing the thing meaning my implant is in my arm. I’m never at risk with it for pregnancy, well - shouldn’t be - but it’s like a 98% thing…I also am pretty irregular? So I dunno” you shrugged a bit “but irregular means I probably won’t be pregnant, especially on birth control, so.” You explained. 

“Okay- um- yeah. Yeah.” He said, pulsepoint visible in his neck from how hard his heart was pumping in anticipation for what was to come next. “So- alright. You- you wanna be on top? I- I don’t wanna like..crush you” he said and you nod excitedly 

“I love sleeping on you! I’m gonna fall asleep, is that ok?” You asked as he slipped his boxers off, cock kissing his naval in greeting as it springs up from its previous restraints. The tip was so pretty and cherry pink, glistening with precum at the tip. Every time you saw it like this you just wanted to fall to your knees and take as much of the beautiful thick length down your throat as you could - but that was a line to still not be crossed by you two. 

“Ye’ s’fine baby. As long as y’re ok w’me wakin’ up hard as fuck I’m probably gonna dream about fuckin you feelin you like that all night” he admits, laying in the middle since you were sleeping together and getting comfortable for you. You crawled on the bed and took his shirt that you’d been wearing fully off so you could be chest to chest, and drape over him like earlier. 

This time, he spread you out with his hands, one on each cheek and guided your hips so his tip was nestled snugly against your entrance. “I’m okay as long as you’re okay” you said truthfully and sunk back on his throbbing cock. He grunted a bit, biting his lip and shutting his eyes for a moment. You knew he did that now when he didn’t want to cum too quickly, just from being with him a few times, you picked up on stuff like that just like he did. 

“Y’so fuckin tight” he breathed once he was able to relax again, wrapping his strong arms around your back and you thought he was going to push you down, seat you fully on his cock - but, no he…he’s hugging you. He’s continuing to let you sink down as slow as you want. When you finally were seated to the hilt, he places a chaste kiss to your jaw. “Thank you.” He nuzzled his nose into your neck, lashes kissing and tickling your cheek as his eyes flutter shut. 

“Thank you Bear. Always treat me so nice” you continued gently playing with his curls as his hands gently rubbed over your upper back, tracing the curvature of your shoulders with his fingers. 

“Oh I’d say it’s the other way around princess, you always make sure I get what I want - y’too good” 

To that, you just smiled, falling asleep a tiny smirk on your face - knowing it was the other way around, you knew he’d never agree. 

But you both wouldn’t have it any other way.

#Capri 200 follower celebration #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x female reader #carmy berzatto fic #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto smut #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x female reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x oc #carmy the bear #the bear fx #the bear #the bear fic #the bear hulu #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear x reader #the bear x you

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Hiii! Could you imagine one where the reader finds out she's pregnant during one of Spencer's missions and when he comes home she has a crisis and ends up feeling ill and Spencer doesn't know how to help and the reader doesn't know how to tell him she's pregnant. (Both are already married)

i took this opportunity to set my pregnant!reader series into the future cause i already planned for them to have another child. request is tweaked justttt a little.

“my dear sweet penny, can you hit me with a bus? i want this misery to end.” you’ve been hit with the worst stomach bug or flu or just something that’s been lasting since spencer went on his case, five days ago.

your mom took your daughter for the day when you realized you weren’t getting out of bed anytime soon and you called in your reinforcement of one penelope garcia. the case ended yesterday but the team had to stay an extra day due to weather in their state, so penelope has been keeping you company for the past two days. it was nice to have an adult conversation instead of bluey and the same princess movies.

“okay, if you’re pleading for death that means it’s time to head over to a hospital. i don’t want spencer to hypothetically bite my head off if something happens to you.” her bright blonde hair was your shining sun in your darkened bedroom. and her jewelry were loud gongs with each step she took. “i hate to sound like a bitch but can you like, be the opposite of yourself today?” moaning and groaning as you tried pushing off the tossed sheets.

“yeah, you need a doctor. cause and i quote ‘penny if i even say to change yourself i’ve been abducted and that’s an alien.’ hopefully they can give you good drugs.”

at the hospital they took some blood, made you pee and just did a bunch of other check ups when it was shown you were sick with anything. so after an hour or so your doctor renters the sterile room with his clipboard and a poker face. “well, you’re not sick, but you are pregnant. we’ll get an ultrasound in here to check on the fetus.” talk talk talk and then he left again, leaving you and penelope open mouthed shocked.

“holy shit,” breathing out as your hand rubbed over your still small belly. “i told spencer i couldn’t keep my hands to myself.” telling that to the ceiling.

“oh, i’ll have another godchild! i’m so happy to live vicariously through you.” penelope stood at your side and smiled down at you. you turned your head towards her, “you know when they’re older, you’ll be our go-to babysitter then. so just be prepared for that.”

with the ultrasound done they confirmed you were almost done with your first trimester and that left you a bit shocked. you were three months pregnant but didn’t know, now you understand how some of those other ladies feel. but you were excited for another, but then you were done, seriously.

you tried calling spencer after leaving but his phone when to voicemail, but you didn’t think anything of it. probably feel asleep or out doing something with his team. so when you arrived to your mom’s place you were a bit surprised to see your husband holding your daughter and swinging her around.

“you’re back!” penny the first to speak and move further into the home. spencer and anna both turned their heads and smiled at the bright lady. “auntie penny!” your annabeth squealed with an arm out.

she happily took her from spencer’s hold and moved her away so you could talk with spencer. his puppy eyes and downturn mouth made your heart soar, oh how he’s gonna get you into so much trouble.

“you feeling better? your mom said it’s been a week.” pulling you into his hold, cheek pressed into his chest as his palms rubbed over your shoulder blades and spine. you sighed, “yeah, penny took me to the doctor. turns out i wasn’t sick… i was- i am pregnant.”

spencer’s hands stopped and leaned back, “what?” his brows raised into his curling locks. “how far along?” “three months…” biting into your bottom lip as you watched him go through his mental calendar. you both knew your period was irregular, that’s why you didn’t think anything of it.

“so it must’ve been sometime after annie’s fourth birthday,” spencer came to the conclusion. leaned in to peck your forehead, “are you okay with another?” always making sure you were okay with the decision.

you smiled up at him with a twinkle in your eyes, “absolutely.”

#erin’s blurb requests #a 1k special #erin writes spencer #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x pregnant!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine

[memyselfandmya]

CHAOS THEORY S1 REVIEW

So after a day to process the show, I think I am more than ready to finally talk about it and give a full on review. [HINDSIGHT: This review took two days to put together, having to rewatch the show for evidence and to strengthen my ideas, and then having to organize it into something that makes sense. Just know that this is essentially my messy love letter to the show] I will be taking on a more objective perspective and focusing more on the writing aspect rather than my personal feelings, especially as a writer and hopefully future screenwriter. So let's get into it, heavy spoilers below the cut. Like as in I pick out little details that alone might not be a spoiler but I make them into a spoiler.

For starters, the show exceeded my expectations and the writing was phenomenal. Even when choices were made that I personally might not agree with or necessarily want, the execution of them was incredible so I couldn't really care to hate them. Overall, I have no heavy qualms with the show and I loved every moment of it.

It was complex and it was messy and I thoroughly enjoyed that. There's so much going on action-wise, character-wise, and mystery-wise and it's amazing how well balanced it is. What we get is real and raw and largely uncensored. We get conflict between two brothers, conflict between two girlfriends, moments where trust is lacking, and so so much more. It all feels very natural and realistic because that's how real people truly are: complex and messy. Also, even when these characters are going through all of these conflicts, you can still tell that they're family and they love each other.

The creators don't shy away from the trauma either, we get flashbacks, explicit mentions of PTSD and mental health issues, and we actually see Kenji having a panic attack, too. When I tell you, the way these characters were brought to life was so amazing. For all of this to still be considered a kids show is incredible and rarely ever seen. I'm gonna go more in depth with the complexity stuff later on, probably when I get more to the character analysis part of this review.

I like how we get to see more dynamics between groups that we didn't see much of in CC: Ben and Brooklynn, Sammy and Ben, Brooklynn and Yaz, etc.

The humor in this show is top-tier and very much natural. Hardly any of it feels forced and it's very much in-character. Just in general, all of the feelings in this show were amazing. It was a rollercoaster of emotions watching this. I felt happy, I was devastated, I laughed a lot, I felt bad for the characters, I was upset and mad, I was scared (oh boy was I scared), and I was tense with anticipation.

Going off of these feelings, the overall tone of the show was incredible. They said that it'd be darker and it was. There were so many times where I myself was scared and wondered how this show was still TV-Y7. There were so many ominous moments and here are some that I noted:

The moment that black car on the road actually does start following them. You can hear the whistle in the background of ep.3 before the raptors actually come in. Carl’s dead body in the car, and the view of his limp hand. In general the scene where they’re being hunted at the ranch, it’s reminds me of playing hide and seek with my cousins but 10x more darker and with higher stakes. “I don’t hear anything.” “Exactly.” Ugh these moments always hit well. The shoes of the dead police guard. Microbang lady whistling and then stepping out of the car The DPW aiming for the van The allosaurus being released from the vehicle. The dinosaurs watching the dude get eaten.  The garage door opening, revealing micro bangs and then all of the dinosaurs falling silent. The moment where she picks up her whistle because we all know what happens next.  When the atrocirapotor picks up the camper’s scent. You can see the small smile on Microbangs' face when she realizes the kids are there.

I love the rearview/sideview mirror shots, it really symbolizes the constantly looking over your shoulder because you’re being hunted aspect of the show. It adds suspense and questioning which is perfect for a conspiracy show.  

I love the use of Chekhov's Gun and foreshadowing. All of my examples may be exaggerations or unintentional but I'm going to stick with it anyways. In ep.2 when the boys are at the gas station, there are signs that say "Report All Spills!" (maybe these are typically at gas stations, idk) which makes sense because you don't want gas on the ground especially because it's so flammable and then I saw the gas pump fall and gas spill out and I had a feeling about what was going to happen next. Sure enough, a fire started. Also in ep.3, when Sammy steps on the creepy floorboard and she's trying to remember where her pitchfork is, and then when they're being hunted, Sammy knowing to avoid stepping on that board only to stumble into the pitchfork that she had been looking for. Also, the King Dino billboard at the beginning of ep.4.

The animation was stunning and the cinematography(?) was breathtaking. We got so many wonderful views.

The pacing is so good. I’m not going to go over it because that’d be a lot but basically everything felt in the right moment. 

I like in ep.2 how we’re introduced into the very first scene with Brooklynn’s new VA. We have Ben being woken up by a mysterious phone call and a mysterious voice on the other line that we don’t recognize. Who is this mysterious, unknown woman? It’s Brooklynn!

There are people who don't like the fact that Darius and Kenji are arguing again and who think that it's a reused plotline that shouldn't be and I understand the feeling of wanting something different but I also have to disagree. While it is the same thing we have in CC, I genuinely can't think of a different way this could have gone that wasn't more in-character than this. The reason why it's being reused is because that part about Kenji hasn't changed. While he's gone through some amazing emotional development, he still deeply cares about his friends and also about trust. Him not liking it when people play with their lives can still be an important value to him, even with his growth. And I personally feel like in this scenario Kenji's anger and his hurt was especially more justified than in CC because in this case, Brooklynn actually "died" instead of just getting kidnapped. And while I don't blame Darius or hate him for not being there, it makes sense why Kenji does.

This time around, it's going to be a lot harder for them to get on good terms. I also like how this time, it's not as subtle and they are actively jabbing at one another. I also like how it's more mutual. Like with CC I was like, "leave my baby alone, kenji, he's just a little innocent kid." and now I'm like "oh shit, Darius you ate with that." Even when they're arguing, they do still care for each other and there are moments where they still support the other. Then there are the little things that causes Kenji's anger to resurface like the password thing so more fuel is constantly being added. And then the "you and me, we're brothers right?" is absolutely gut wrenching.

One thing I appreciate is how Kenji isn’t even really mad at Darius anymore. Not for him liking Brooklynn, anyways. To me this shows a heightened emotional maturity. Especially since in CC we saw him be petty with his anger towards Darius and even in the early episodes of CT but now he’s bypassing all of his personal qualms and getting to what matters most to him without the extra pettiness: why wasn’t he there for Brooklynn? Why wasn’t he there for the people he loves. Kenji’s relationship with Brooklynn isn’t important. The fact that Darius fell for his ex doesn’t matter. What matters to him is that Brooklynn, someone they both (all) deeply cared about died, and the guy who loved her wasn’t there when she needed him. The tenderness and the softness of this scene was way more impactful and sorrowful than had Kenji angrily went after Darius. This makes the conflict still feel different from the one we saw in CC. All in all, I think their conflict adds to the complexity and (realistic) messiness of it all.

Even though I’m not the biggest Brookenji/Kenlynn fan, seeing them drift apart was so disheartening to watch because you can tell that Kenji really cared about Brooklynn and he was putting so much effort into the relationship when Brooklynn was distracted. I like how even though I’m not a big fan of the ship, I’m still convinced to root for them which shows compelling writing. But the baby talk fucking ruined it. I’m back to not liking it. The whole breakup situation very much reminded me of the episode of CC where Brooklynn is late to the date because they were out investigating. Again, I’m glad that Kenji is sticking up for himself though, and distancing people when they need to be distanced. I also love the little detail of Kenji calling Darius’ mom every week. Just emphasizes that he’s still a family man and doesn’t forget the people who helped him.

“I’m in a really good place now, and I got here by myself.” This line is so impactful to me because in early CC we know Kenji to be lazy and somebody who expects everything to go his way without putting in the effort so this is, one, very symbolic of his development as a character, and two, explains why he’s so proud of where he is now and his business that he’s got going on--even if it doesn’t look to be as successful. It makes sense why he’d be so protective over what he’s made for himself. I really respect him for putting up that boundary because he’s so right; Daniel doesn’t deserve him much less to speak to him, and Kenji doesn’t deserve to put himself through that emotional turmoil when he’s finally reached a good place. I think it makes it even more impactful when he does choose to go especially because it’d be totally valid if he didn’t. And then not only being subject to more of his dad’s manipulation but also having to witness him die.

I’m actually surprised and very happy that Dreamworks didn’t go the redeeming Daniel route. I would have expected this kind of show to make Daniel forgivable but he’s still a bad person and a manipulative father who hasn’t changed much. To me it seems more realistic because Daniel doesn’t seem like a character who learns his lesson and it furthers the plot with the whole Brooklynn thing. Also, Daniel's sacrifice is not a redemption. He's still a bad character. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Dreamworks' other show, She-ra Princess of Power, but there's an abusive mother figure in it, Shadow Weaver, who also sacrifices herself for the characters she abused, but before that she was still manipulative the same way Daniel was. They both died before they could truly change their ways and atone for their actions which is why it's not a redemption. Daniel Kon did not redeem himself by saving Kenji.

I also actually like Daniel’s death, and no, not just because I hate him as a character. In season 5, he’s the big bad antagonist that the kids have to go up against, and he’s a real threat, right? Do the raptors care about Daniel’s villain era? Do they care that he was a big character in the OG show? No. And that shows that the writers don’t care either (but in a good way). Because we don’t have any of the main Nublar Six dying (except for Brooklynn sorta ig??), there’s a lot of opportunity to call plot armor and stuff and say that the writers are pulling their punches. But they’re willing to kill one of the big antagonists from CC in a random episode, so, to some extent, there is minimum plot armor. You can be a great big villain and still these dinosaurs will kill you.

Also, this gives us so much opportunity with Kenji’s character. We get to see what it looks like having to grieve the life of somebody who you hated and who abused you and yet still be devastated over his death. Showing Kenji breakdown over Daniel’s death adds an entirely new layer of complexity to the story line. It’s so much more impactful than having Kenji be apathetic towards his death or be like, “good riddance.” The detail of Kenji speaking at the end really gave all the more impact to the entire episode.

Kenji’s panic attack in ep.7 is really powerful. First, the wonderful cinematography (the watering of Kenji’s eyes, omg) and the 1st person pov segments. Then we have the voice acting, chef’s kiss. Just the flat out impact of this scene all together: Kenji balling his eyes out after the death of someone who doesn’t even deserve his mourning is heart wrenching. I hate Daniel and I’m glad he’s dead, but also seeing Kenji break down over it almost makes me wish he wasn’t. By far one of the saddest scenes in the show.  Again the cinematography of it. Darius hugging a sobbing Kenji in the middle of a field with the car’s red lights beaming on them. Then Mateo just standing there awkwardly. LMFAO.

It’s cool because we have this gut wrenching moment and then we’re immediately brought into a feeling of awkwardness with this random new character there and it’s so jarring but fitting because you have these two moments where Kenji’s grief but also the need to keep moving coexist and one needs to take priority over the other but the other one is still important. I’m just saying we are feeling what the characters in the show feel, which is good. Then we have Kenji going ballistic on Mateo’s ass and man the emotions packed into the scene.

Also Mateo. I want to trust him, and I do. But there’s also a suspiciousness to him. I love him though. But, it felt oddly convenient that he was able to locate them so many times. He says that his daughter helped him track them but how does his daughter of all people track them when they’re moving all over the place and also the way he talks about her, “I’ve got a little girl back home,” and the pan over to the crayon drawing made me picture a young child. His story is interesting though, too, and complex for a side character. Just feels a bit like a suspicious deus ex machina.

I love how the others are so in tune with one another and then Mateo says something and they all jump, forgetting he’s there. They are all very much close with each other and oblivious to the people around them. He's definitely out of the loop. Darker thought, what if at some point (or now, even) his daughter gets kidnapped/held hostage by the hunters so he’s forced to mislead the camp fam in order to keep her safe?

The opening scene of ep.6 is top tier and I love how we’re getting right down deep into the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean the trauma. The portrayal of Yasmina’s PTSD is so incredible to see and all of the flashes of dinosaurs really put us in Yaz’s mind. Also the heartbeats sounds just make this an even more intense scene. What’s also amazing is that we see Yaz making progress with handling her trauma but she’s still struggling with it too. Complexity. What I also love is how Yaz’s PTSD has allowed her to become more equipped to manage her trauma more than the other campers have, and because she’s able to grasp a hold of it so well, she’s able to help Sammy manage her own anxiety, too. 

I feel as if Ben is almost reverting back into his pre-Nublar self and also like the Ben we saw in CC’s “At Least…”. He’s become a lot more paranoid and on edge which is very interesting to see. Ben being completely wary of the gas station attendant and being unwilling to stop is a major display of Ben’s anxiousness. Could the fire in ep.2 be symbolism for Ben’s paranoia in that episode? I may be looking too deep into it, but think about it. The spilled gas is all of Ben’s conspiracies and theories; alone, it’s not much of an obvious problem but when paired with the right ignition, a spark or being hunted by raptors, for example, it turns into an uncontrollable problem. Ben’s paranoia causes him to be irrational and unconsolable just like that fire and needs to be be extinguished so it doesn't destroy anything. I also like the little detail of Darius noticing the car on the side of the road in ep.2 and becoming suspicious about it. But then Ben thanks Darius for keeping him grounded so Darius doesn’t mention anything about the car in order to not send him back to the state of paranoia he was in earlier.

Then we also see Ben’s anxiousness in the beginning of ep.4 about Bumpy. Seeing him so concerned about her really tugs on those heart strings because you can tell the love between them runs deep. The passion in ep.9 is so incredibly palpable especially when he’s panicking and crying at the sound of Bumpy being abused. I really felt that scene because I know that watching someone you love get abused and not being able to stop it is so emotionally overwhelming The emotion packed into that scene, holy shit. 

I also just love how we’re allowing men to cry. It’s so normalized in media to have the guys always being tough and masculine men who never sheds a tear but we are really knocking down the toxic masculinity in this show and normalizing men displaying emotion (beyond anger). We see all of the boys in this show break down: Kenji, Ben, Darius, and never once does them crying make them embarrassed or emasculated. Even in CC, the boys were allowed to show feelings and it didn’t weaken their masculinity at all. It’s really powerful and I’m glad we’re stepping away from the “boys don’t cry” narrative.

Back to Ben’s character, I was a little bit disappointed with his character arc, or lack thereof, in the middle episodes. Sometimes it felt as if he was only there for comedic relief and was emotionally detached from Brooklynn’s death. Maybe there’s intent behind this but I’m not sure. 

I don’t know what to think about the whole girlfriend thing. Maybe Ben just made up the girlfriend thing to get Sammy to get rid of her phone lmao but ended up running with it. I do love how everyone’s surprised about Ben having a girlfriend because me too guys, me too. And it’s not because he eats out of a boot and pees in a jar (it is) but because I thought he was gay. Like with the whole rejecting Yaz scene in CC always gave me that implication. Now, he could still always be bi or pan which would be just as cool, but still just the fact that he has a random ass girlfriend. But also how is he maintaining a long-distance relationship when he’’s completely cut off from the grid. A part of me wants to believe that Ben has a girlfriend especially when he questions why everyone is surprised but also… idk. Ben does seem to understand how Yaz is feeling with relationship stuff to a degree. But I don’t know. I like some of the theories I’ve seen: that Ben is being catfished by Brooklynn, in particular. In theory I giggle a bit but in practice that’d low-key be a fucked up thing to do to Ben’s emotions. I find it harder to believe that Ben is doing the girlfriend to cover up that he’s gay because he knows that his friends will be accepting (although doesn’t change that coming out to them could still be hard) but also because I feel like he would at least tell Yaz because in S5 of CC they had that deep talk about Yaz’s sexuality. A part of me believes that the cargo ship is going somewhere to Europe and when they get there Ben will call on his girlfriend for help. If she is real, I hope she's badass and pretty so she can contribute to the plot and I can fall in love with her. Wait, what? Maybe down the line when I have more theories about Ben and his supposed girlfriend I’ll make a separate post. 

“Don’t you dare throw my phone out the window, Benjamin.” Sammy’s so much of a powerful force now. I love her fierceness and sassiness, it’s definitely a different look from her character in CC. But also, she’s still in character, just matured, changed, and acquired that “tough love” attitude. Paired with how a little later in the episode when she goes to save the dinosaurs, it shows how Sammy (and the rest of the characters) might have changed since CC but are still the same at their core. Very much getting flashbacks to the Art of Chill episode. Sammy still has the passionate sense of righteousness but with more attitude and I’m 100% here for it.

I also want to talk about the whole Sammy as a suspect thing. I love Ben and I’m glad they made up at the end but also can you imagine how hurtful it must be for Sammy? Like it sucks for her that a decision she made years ago (and was cleared up) in order to protect her family comes back to bite her, from one of her closest friends too. For one of her besties to not trust her must hurt a lot, especially after everything they’ve gone through together. Trust in general is an interesting motif in this show. We have Darius having to learn to trust Ben and his theories, the whole Darius and Kenji trust conflict thing, Ben being untrusting of Sammy at first, and Yaz and Sammy having to learn to trust each other again. 

Back to Sammy’s character, I want to take a moment to talk about Sammy’s mental health; like she’s really not doing well and I’m genuinely worried about her. From CC we know her to be a very social person who’s rarely ever alone and we even have the episode in S5 of CC where her entire arc is learning to do stuff on her own. So in CT, seeing Sammy living all alone in Texas with nobody (nice) around is so jarring and worrying to me. That scene where she reunites with the boys is really sweet, especially knowing that it’s probably one of the first few moments where she’s not isolated from any of the people she loves. It’s also probably another reason why she’s even more “Sammy” than usual. Then you have Sammy saying, “Just busy. It’s only me around here with Yaz up north finishing school, and my parents…we just don’t talk much anymore, but that’s okay! I’m keeping busy.” We can definitely notice that Sammy is not handling this isolation thing well and her coping mechanism is very much busying herself. What I really want to know though is why Sammy isn’t talking with her family.

But back to the main point, it’s also the way that Sammy’s character naturally influences the plot and pacing of episode three. Ben and Darius have something urgent they need to tell Sammy but her inability to stay still is preventing them from doing so which creates a natural conflict.

Additionally, in retrospect Sammy's coping mechanism was obvious: the mock interviews we got where it’s said, “Back at home, Sammy Gutierrez maintained that positive attitude by staying busy. ‘I have my own ranch, now. And my girlfriend Yaz. And tons of pies to bake! We don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff!’” Even before this, she’s fallen into that heavy positivity that’s borderline unhealthy by trying to shove everything under the rug. All of the positive sayings on her wall also feel symbolic of her trying to maintain a positive outlook on her life. Her line “I’m so sick of making pies,” while possibly just for humor and a throwaway line, it could represent how this false positive narrative that Sammy has going where she’s keeping busy around the house and baking pies isn’t satisfactory and is also crumbling. Maybe even the first pie burning could be symbolic of her positive life failing (or maybe I’m looking too deep into it). Also that scene where she straight up hallucinates and sees Brooklynn for a second? That scene is so haunting and utterly heartbreaking. This is sort of the nail in the coffin that Sammy is not doing well mentally at all. In this scene too, her sadness is also heavily emphasized. Her eyes watering is such a sad detail and also you can kind of notice that her under-eye area is dark and red too. This might just be the lighting, but I feel that it really emphasizes that Sammy is really struggling and all of this business and fake positivity is getting to her. And then immediately after, she deflects and continues what she’s doing. Darius begging Sammy to stop and Sammy’s response being, “Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No… I can’t stop. I won’t.” There is a lot to unpack there. First, we have another mention that Sammy and her family aren’t talking and I want to know why. Secondly, she is definitely struggling with growing isolated from the people she loves and with Sammy’s character valuing her connections with her loved-ones it makes it all the more impactful. I wish we got to see more on this but then we get interrupted by the action just as Darius is about to say something. It's a really sad scene though. In ep.4 we see Sammy being more anxious, especially with Yaz not answering her calls. In that one scene after the parasaurolophuses, Sammy is completely distraught and it’s sad to see. I don’t even think she herself even fully realizes her mental health issues. The anxiety Sammy is experiencing is also highlighted in ep.7. Granted, they are in a sinking, soggy van and I’d be panicking too but damn. She’s also panicking in the beginning of ep.9, but now, instead of Sammy keeping her body busy from her mind, her mind is keeping her busy from her body and making her forget how to breathe.

“I know she doesn’t always answer, but at least she texts back or maybe just gives a thumbs up, even though she knows I hate those. Cause they give me passive-aggressive vibes, but I know she doesn’t mean it that way. But I got that girlfriend intuition that something ain’t right.” Poor Sammy, she is very clearly anxious about this whole thing and it especially shows with how she bounces her phone around. I like how this conflict between Yaz and Sammy is building up before they even see each other, starting with Yaz not answering the phone call and Sammy getting anxious. The split up thing also gave me a mini heart attack too Ben, don’t worry. “Why, did she say something?” Sammy, please. You’re not okay. In ep.6 with the “I’m working really hard to get my anxiety in check, but Sammy still treats me like a fragile flower,” again, I appreciate how we see the cracks in Yaz and Sammy’s relationship beginning to form even before the events of CT. The buildup is really strong in the show. Quick break but I have to say I just love Sammy’s profile picture they are so cute. Also, Yaz’s uncertainty about answering the phone call, too. The tension between them is clear as day on that phone call. And then we have Sammy coddling Yasmina by trying to hide the truth from her and it’s all in good intention, really sweet how Sammy wants to protect her, but is that what Yaz needs or wants? “Her PTSD is still affecting her that badly?" “Well, to tell you the truth, we really haven’t talked much lately. She’s so busy and when we do catch each other, she acts like everything’s good, but…” The conflict is so interesting because you have Yaz pulling away because of Sammy’s overbearingness and then when Yaz pulls away, Sammy gets anxious and therefore more overbearing so it just creates this cycle that could be put to a stop by communication but they’re both scared. Both of their coping mechanisms are doing damage to each other and so they fall back on these coping mechanisms even more. “Call it a hunch, or girlfriend’s intuition,” call it anxiety, Sammy. At this point everything she says or does is a subconscious cry for help. Back to the relationship conflict, it’s nice knowing that even if they are fighting, their fight is based off of wanting the best for the other and love. Also both of their feelings in this fight are valid, Yaz wanting Sammy to not treat her like she’s fragile and Sammy not wanting Yaz to pull away from her. Again with the cycle. Oof, the pain in her voice when Yaz says “you still treat me like a child instead of your girlfriend!” Kausar really ate with that. Anyways, we have that scene where they almost down and Yaz calms Sammy proving to her that she’s not as fragile as Sammy thinks she is. Then when they get out we have a resolution moment where Yaz says, “I guess we need each other, huh?” Showing that, instead of that unbalance of overbearingness, they can equally need the other to ground them and keep them calm. 

When Sammy and Yaz reunite, they’re really happy but also out of sync a bit, when they go in to kiss but end up bumping heads. Then after they resurface after nearly drowning, they’ve reached a better understanding of each other, and then they kiss a lot more smoothly, showing that they’re back in sync.

For the Benrius shippers out there, this also parallels how Darius and Ben were a bit out of sync and a little rocky, but at the beginning of ep.3 we see Ben and Darius have fallen back into their natural rhythm: Ben says “chip me” and Darius effortlessly tosses it and Ben catches it in his mouth. I just appreciate these little details and moments of closeness and also the parallels.

Can we talk about how we have alternating arcs/paths with Sammy and Yaz? Like, we see Yaz becoming more confident in how she handles and reacts to her trauma and making significant progress with her PTSD. Then we have Sammy who’s slowly slipping into a poorer mental state when she was known for being better able to manage her trauma from Nublar. Then along with this, we have Yaz stepping into the more “caretaker” role when Sammy was the one who usually has control over the situation. The van sinking scene in ep.7 is a perfect example. Sammy's panicking when her seatbelt gets stuck and Yaz is the one to ground her. I just want to take a closer look at this scene because it’s so sweet, too. The way Yaz first takes Sammy’s hands but then after realizing how much Sammy’s panicking, she cups her face and gets her to focus. It’s just such a tender moment. (And then parallel with that, the scene where Kenji has a panic attack and Darius is the one to support him in the midst of their argument. I just love a good parallel.) (Another parallel, Darius grounding Ben when he was paranoid in ep.2) But there’s also that scene early in ep.9 where it’s Sammy who’s completely freaking out and Yaz being the level-headed one. 

Going back to the conflict between them, we see a moment of growth in that scene. After Sammy’s anxiousness causes her to be reckless, she apologizes which opens the floor for a well needed discussion about how they need to work as a team and trust one another. While the main discussion about how their coping mechanism end up hurting each other hasn’t happened yet, we still get to see them repairing the cracks in their relationship. Instead of Yaz pulling away when Sammy becomes anxious and overbearing, we see her acknowledge Sammy’s anxiety and comfort her instead, so that Sammy doesn’t go farther into that anxious state and the cycle is interrupted. It’s cool how they made their mental health issues cause problems in their relationship. Not in a “oh I can’t handle my girlfriend’s PTSD and she’s too much for me,” but in the way of “My girlfriend really cares for me in relation to my PTSD and it’s sweet but it also feels like she’s babying me” and “my girlfriend is going through a really tough time right now and I want to be there for her but she keeps pulling away from me.” Although, in a way, Sammy’s anxiety does become overbearing for Yaz, but even then it’s not in a she’s being too much but rather her anxiety is only causing her to be treated in a way she doesn't want to be treated. While scary and uncomfortable, I’m really glad that Yaz and Sammy had that conflict because it shows that couples can argue and still love each other. Just because there’s a problem in the relationship doesn’t mean the relationship has to end there, it just means that you have to come together and acknowledge the issue and then work together to fix it. 

Darius’s reaction to Brooklynn’s death, my god. And hearing Darius’ voice calls that he left Brooklynn…devastating. Him hiding in the bath tub after giving the phone and sinking down in it; he really is ashamed of his feelings and it’s sad. But also the tenderness in Kenji’s voice when he confronts him? He’s no longer angry with Darius, just wants to understand. And the way that he doesn’t even get mad when Darius tells him he was in love with B… (maybe he understands how B is a very lovable character.)

But back to the grief, the moment where they’re all looking at the allosaurus that supposedly killed Brooklynn is devastating. They are finally united in their grief over Brooklynn. Boy, at least one of them is going to be pissed when her survival is revealed. And then also how they all worry over Bumpy too, it just really symbolizes how they’re still a family after everything. I love how Ben and Sammy are basically co-parents now. And remember that episode where Sammy was trying to get Bumpy to like her? Oh how far we’ve come. I flat out believed that she was dead, the writers definitely got me with that one. Well played, Bumpy. Well played.

I will say that Darius’s confrontation with Cabrera didn’t feel fully earned. We only saw him in one other scene and only heard about him in another scene so Darius’ moment of realization fell a little short on me. I think it could have been better had we saw an earlier interaction with him and Darius that may give us more conflicting opinions on whether or not he’s good. Because when we first saw him with Sammy, Yaz, and Ben, I was 90% sure that he was bad because of the three’s unbiased narrative. But had we gotten an interaction with Darius where he seemed a lot less questionable as a character it would have brought my doubt to more of a 50%. It also would have made Darius’ almost betrayal feeling in ep.10 more warranted because we saw them personally interact so it’d make Darius’s “You’re the one behind this? You’re selling Dinosaurs? DPW is supposed to protect people from dinosaurs.” hit harder. 

The micro bang lady reads the raptor’s body language so well. She’s also compassionate towards them which is a heavy difference from this other dinosaur corruption we’ve got going on where they are carelessly abusing dinosaurs. She sees the raptors absolutely wiped out and retreats which is an absolute power move and shows she cares. It’s a choice that humanizes her along with the cuddling of a fucking raptor, which is interesting since most of what we’ve seen so far has been very uncanny with her robotic movements and unblinking eyes. She scares the shit out of me but lowkey...

she looks really badass and hot in this scene. I see what some of yall are talking about.

The action sequence in ep.10? Amazing. 10/10. The parallel with Jurassic World? Heart stopping. The dead silence except for the footsteps and dinosaur breathing? Immaculate. Best scene in the entire show, maybe in animated history. 

At the end, we also have a shift from the characters being forced to react to all of the stuff thrown at them, like a defensive, but then we see them make the decision to go on the cargo ship and now they get to take a more “offensive” approach. Then we also have Darius stepping back into that leader role. 

I just hope that since the characters are no longer stranded on a deserted island that they can finally get a change of outfits if they happen to get dirty. Please don’t let them walk around in the same dirty clothes again, please. 

Now, probably one of the more controversial parts. Dinostar… Now, I’m a multi shipper and I’ve never had a problem with the ship itself but even then I was skeptical of this creative choice. 

I feel like it’d be more impactful if they kept dinosaur platonic showing that Darius doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship with his friend in order to feel a significant amount of grief for her. Now, I know that even if Darius wasn’t in love with Brooklynn, he probably still would have had the same reaction but still, the interpretation of his feelings has still changed. How necessary was this?

But also the power in the unrequited dinostar. Having Darius only realize his feelings for Brooklynn, especially after her staying at his place, it's natural. It adds to the very real complexity of human feelings. “I never meant for it to happen. It just…happened.” Darius’s feelings are still natural and organic and he’s still kind of ashamed of them. Darius’s “I didn’t even think I could feel that way,” was what really got to me. If it was because he always saw Brooklynn as a friend it shows how these sort of feelings can sneak up on you, but I also see it as, “I didn’t think I was able to have crushes on people” which speaks to me a lot. It feels very aligned with the demi-aroace experience and as someone who’s demi-aroace I care about this a lot. It’s such a confusing and difficult experience, worrying about if you’re even capable of falling in love with someone, trying to disect the difference between platonic connections and romantic ones, and the shame you feel when you think you might be interested in someone who’s supposed to be your friend. It’s messy and real and seeing Darius possibly experiencing that makes me feel less alone. Anyways, I like how even in both directions Darius can still be on the aroace spectrum.

“If I was really in love with Brooklynn, I should have been there.” This line makes me wonder if he’s still doubting his feelings for Brooklynn. The “I couldn’t face her after that. I was too embarrassed. So I didn’t show up that night.” Darius being embarrassed is so real. I once confessed to a girl I thought I liked and was rejected, albeit gently for the most part, and I still can’t look at her the same way. This was with someone I wasn’t close with so I can only imagine what it was like for Darius, the embarrassment. It’s such an impactful thing too. Darius's natural and realistic reaction to getting rejected and not being able to face her having drastic consequences in this new world of dinosaurs and being hunted by them. It’s just the complexity of the story that’s what really makes this work.

“She tried to be nice about it, but it was clear she didn’t feel the same.” I wonder if this is what really happened or just what Darius interpreted it as. I’m hoping that it remains unrequited. Seeing the guy not get the girl would be something new and interesting. I could also get behind dinostar but only if it’s done right and to be done right it’d need a lot of time. But I also don’t think I want to see any of them in a relationship just yet. Especially Brooklynn and especially now. I think that she’s way too deep into this conspiracy and should focus on that instead of a relationship. That’s definitely where her mind has been at lately, anyways. I also worry that this might turn into a love triangle which I’m never a big fan of. I’ve also seen some people say that this love triangle/Darius’ feelings will probably weaken the integrity of Brooklynn’s character and reduce her to a love interest, and, for a while, I agreed. But now my opinion has shifted. So far from what we’ve seen, Brooklynn’s character seems to be going on an interesting arc and I have faith that the writers won’t weaken that in favor of focusing on her romantic interests. The writing for this season has been amazing and if they keep it up in season two it can probably be successfully pulled off. And already with the way it’s been written, I don’t think Brooklynn is ready for a relationship at the moment. 

Now Brooklynn...

I was one of the people who was convinced Brooklynn was alive but while watching the show I actually began to doubt that theory and there was a moment where I was sure she was actually dead. I know there are a couple of people unhappy about the fact that Brooklynn isn’t actually dead, and I get that. Especially coupled with the Darius vs Kenji conflict it may feel like CT is copying too much from CC with Ben’s fake death instead of being original and committing to it. And that’s totally valid, especially for a serious plot line like a character death. I do, however, have faith that the writers of CT will execute her fake death well though. Because that’s the thing with CC/CT. Most of the time, even the not so strong ideas are well executed and integrated into the plot smoothly. With Ben’s fake death, it gave the opportunity to strongly develop Ben’s character more than it could if he had ended up on the island with the campers. His solo experience after his “death” molded him into a very different character from the boy we saw in the early episodes. It changed him drastically and that was the redeeming factor. So, I have hope with Brooklynn. It already seems like she’s on a strong path of character development and it seems like she’s going completely undercover to unbox this international dinosaur corruption scheme. Not to mention, she’s missing part of her arm, so that’s also a drastic change. Brooklynn being alive opens up a lot of opportunities, especially to delve into her trauma that she might have acquired from losing a hand. Not only that, but the others still think she’s dead so we won’t lose that mourning aspect, in fact it might make it even more impactful knowing that she is alive and that Brooklynn’s fake death is causing this much pain to her friends.

This could also introduce some conflict within the group once it is revealed to them that Brooklynn is alive because they spent all of this time mourning her and suffering from some severe mental health issues only for her to actually be alive without telling them. Me personally, I’d be upset going through all of this emotional turmoil for a dead friend only for her to pop up knowing she could have prevented all of it. We can also see different reactions from the 5 of them. Maybe someone will be angry at her and some might just be really happy she’s alive and some might not even believe she’s actually alive. I’m just gonna say that it is fucked up that Brooklynn is just allowing her friends to suffer from mourning her and that I’d totally understand if any of the camp fam were mad at her. In fact I need to see that. Then there’s all of the secrets she’s keeping from them, too. I wonder if we might see a sort of negative character arc because Brooklynn has been neglectful towards her friends, especially Kenji which caused the whole breakup in the first place, and then multiple times Brooklynn’s true intentions have been unclear and shady. I wonder if there’s any symbolism we can pick up from her hair which is always changing.

Overall, I’m excited to see what they do with Brooklynn’s character and how her fake death affects the others. I’m always willing to compromise with my feelings and the decisions made so long as they well execute their unfavorable choices. 

As for the reveal, I feel like it could have been dragged out a little bit longer. I think a perfect place to stop would be right at Ronnie receives the text. Because in my mind at that moment, there were two ideas that I had. One, Ronnie could have been one of the corrupt DPW workers, or she could have been working with Brooklynn. I think that that confliction would have been a great place to end especially because either way, it leaves you question that entire interaction she has with Darius in the first episode. Is Ronnie going to be bad and betray Darius? Or is she good and helping Brooklynn who's alive. I understand in the grander schemes of things why they did it; showing Brooklynn alive (and handless) at the very end will make viewers want to come back and see what happened with her. I just hope they keep her being alive unknown to the rest of the campers for a while longer for that added tension or whatever. I feel like if anything they might reveal her to the camp fam at the end of season 2.

Now let’s talk about that hairstyle. When I first saw it at a distance paired with the whole ensemble, it looked really badass. But up close? I don’t like it. 

At first I was going to say that Sammy carried the plot, because she did. Then I was like, “well, Ben also carried the plot too.” Then it was “If Sammy carried the plot then so did Yasmina.” That “boo” did a lot for me. But then I was thinking of the discourse between Darius and Kenji and they also both carried the plot. So, long story short, they all carried which is amazing. It means that it was well balanced and every character had a significant role in the story. 

In short, there’s a lot of things that were phenomenal in this show, however, there were a few things that can only become/remain great if they’re addressed in season 2. There were a lot of throwaway lines in the show that was loaded with context we didn’t have and hinted to a separate conflict. 

Twice we hear Sammy say how she’s not in contact with her family and then it’s never brought up again. I want to know why this is, even If it doesn’t have a drastic effect on the overall plot. Then we see Sammy hallucinate Brooklynn but then that’s the only time it happens. Is it bad that I want to see more of that? I just really want to see Sammy’s trauma unloaded in season 2. In ep.6, Sammy says “Remember how [Yaz] got when the dinosaurs made it to the mainland?” It seems really heavy and I want to see this. I want to know what the groups initial reactions to one, the dinosaurs back on the mainland, and two, Brooklynn’s death. We also hear Darius sort of allude in ep.1 that Ben might have had a harder time adjusting to being back on the mainland, especially with the “don’t patronize me, Darius!”

I’m hoping that some of these lines are just seeds being planted early on so that we can see them grow in season 2. One thing I hope we get is more flashbacks, seeing what all of these lines are referring to. Sammy’s family issues. Yaz’s reaction the dinosaurs back on mainland. Also, seeing flashbacks to Brooklynn with Darius in the cabin. We got flashbacks for everyone else except him so it’d be nice to see, and also give us something more substantial for Darius’s feelings. My guess is that there won’t be as many action scenes when they’re hiding away on the ship so we can get more flashbacks and have some more downtime to explore the groups trauma, regain some more of that “full” group dynamic, and just in general put more focus into the characters rather than plot. 

The writing in this was amazing, especially for a kids show, and I hope we get to see more of this amazing writing carried on to season 2 soon. If you stuck with me this long, I appreciate you.

#jurassic world chaos theory #jwct #jwct spoilers #sammy gutierrez #yasmina fadoula #ben pincus #darius bowman #kenji kon #jwct brooklynn #brooklynn jwcc #mya talks jwct

[mickeyeyesarts]

Progress report

Greetings. Yes, I am still alive. I haven't posted in a long time and I wanted my next post to be the Bal-Amb post, with the wall thing? Remember that?

As it turns out, if you're gonna take on a big project, that big project will take you on too. Long story short this drawing will take a WHILE.

But I think you guys deserve a little sneak peek of my progress, so here it is:

I do like how they look side by side. At least, it shows improvement. I had not drawn ballister and ambrosius in their armors, and that was on purpose because they had so many details.

I did take his arm out because it wasn't looking well, and I couldn't fit it in so I'm sorry about that 😞, I know some of all wanted that. But I will add some panels because I think there's more to be said about our favourite chaotic and mentally fkd up couple.

Also I'm still new on digital art, so that's why I'm taking so long.

Anyway please wish me luck that I finish this project as soon as possible.

Byeeee.

#nimona #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ballister #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona netflix #ambrosius x ballister #art #nimona fanart #ballister x ambrosius #ballister fanart #nimona ballister #nimona ambrosius #digital drawing #digital art #gay art

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Two

Warnings: uncomfortable tension, drinking/alcohol, brief mentions of depression (if you read the context clues it’s there), anxious themes, the boys are yet again being ridiculous.

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Charlotte’s first encounter with Jake is none other than memorable. Battling her internal monologue is how she lives her daily life, so this situation is only letting those voices run wild.

Author’s Note: Early chapter two because I am so so so excited for you to meet Charlotte! She’s been one of the most fun characters to create because she has such a specific personality. I hope you love her xoxo see you on Thursday 🥰

Looks That Kill - Motley Crue “If you don’t get her name, you might not make it back.”

“In 300 feet, turn right,” plays through my car’s speakers as I slowly drive through these cramped streets. All the buildings are covered in red brick, some with vines attached; it’s a quaint little area in the city. 

I pull into a parking space and check the maps on my phone again; okay, it’s only a street over; I can just walk that. Grabbing my bag and the folder I’ve been sent with, I step out and promptly lock my doors. Looking at my reflection in my windows, I gently adjust my pants and ensure my shirt is still tucked in. Leaning in and reapplying my dark red lip, I need to make sure I look professional. 

It’s mid-afternoon and fairly quiet, so all I can hear is the click of my shoes as I walk towards the bar. Well, Tavern, rather.  The sign jutting out from the building, the ocean peaking out just behind it, that’s a beautiful accident, now isn’t it? As I approach, I notice the cobblestone street directly across from it. Which must be a nightmare at 1:30 am. 

I took a deep breath before grabbing the door and mentally prepared for this conversation. Or so I thought. The door chime rings loudly, given only ten people are in the bar. The red glow is intense even though it’s still light out. I can’t help but notice the immense amount of pirate memorabilia on the walls and the cute vintage jukebox in the corner. 

As I take it in, I hear the chatter from the patrons sitting at the bar slowly increase in volume. I look over to see a petite man with a curly head of hair laughing loudly at the girl he’s sat next to. Quickly startled out of my focus by a tall, slender gentleman. 

“You look lost,” he quietly says, a completely different vibe from the rest of this place, taking me aback, “Do you need something?” 

“Uh, yes, actually,” I stammer a bit, not expecting someone to come out of thin air like that, “I’m actually here because some paperwork wasn’t completed when the bar opened.” 

“Oh!” his eyes go wide, “he will be the one you want to talk to, darling,” he says rather quickly, pointing towards the bar.

“Could I speak with Mr. Kiszka?” I ask, attempting to sound as confident as I can.

Suddenly, the two sat at the bar looked over to me, with the one behind the bar turning to me before, in unison, they asked, “Which one?” The long-haired ‘girl’ turned to reveal that I was, in fact, very wrong. How many long-haired men are in this bar right now? Jesus Christ. 

I looked into the folder, and seeing his name at the top, I thought, “Um, Jacob Kiszka, I’m sorry.” 

They both point at the one behind the bar, with his hair tied into a low bun, shirt halfway open, and towel tossed over his shoulder. He’s definitely not who I expected to run into here; I figured I would be dealing with a larger, burly sailor-type man who just quit working at the shipyard. 

“What do you need from me, dear?” his voice soft and raspy, which continued to throw me off. 

“Well, I’m sorry to do this to you randomly, Mr. Kiszka,” I start, with him quickly interjecting. 

“Mr. Kiszka is our father. Please call me Jake,” the three of them giggling at his comment. Are they all brothers? I mean, I guess they do look similar the harder I look at them.. Unimportant.

He extends his hand over the bar, and I quickly shift everything into the other arm to meet his. 

“Charlotte Rhodes,” I tell him, trying to focus on my grasp being firm on his hand. 

“Well, Jacob, unfortunately, you did not finish filling out some of this paperwork when you opened the bar officially,” I tell him, watching his smile falter a bit. This is the part I hate.

“I’ve been sent here to tell you what is needed from you. It shouldn’t take too long to get situated.” I start flipping through the paperwork, looking for the pages that he needs. 

“Jesus, Jake,” the long-haired one pipes up, “Paperwork’s the only thing fucking you right now, huh?” followed by the most accurate description of a “ha ha ha” laugh I’ve ever heard. 

“SAM,” the petite curly-headed one interjects, his eyes widening. “Not the time.” 

The one who I’ve now learned is Sam mutters, “Tough crowd,” under his breath. 

I inhale deeply, letting out a “Riiiiiiight” on the exhale. I grab a blank piece of paper from the folder, set it in front of myself, and scribble down little things to not forget. ‘Long hair, facial hair, taller = Sam.’ 

As I’m informing him, I watch a young woman waltz behind the bar, starting to wipe down wine glasses and put them away. She is minding her own business, but nonetheless, she’s behind the bar. 

“Um,” I pause, “Who is that?” I quietly ask, pointing at her subtly. 

I swear I watch the color in his face drain out like a cartoon. Oh no, he hasn’t filed paperwork for her either. Well, that’s karma for you! 

“I just hired her,” the subtle panic lacing his voice, “Uh, I just haven’t had time to, um,” he keeps stumbling over his words. One of his hands finds its place on the back of his neck, giving away that he’s getting overwhelmed. 

I don’t know what comes over me; I open the folder, pull out a packet of stapled paperwork, and flip through it. 

“According to your payroll, Joshua M Kiszka and Daniel R Wagner are the only two employees currently.” Noticing the handful of hired and terminated employees below them and choosing not to bring them up. 

“Only I call-” Sam speaks up, locking eyes with the girl behind the bar, “WE call him Daniel.” 

“Unfortunately, ‘Daniel’ is the only name I was provided,” I know my confusion is apparent on my face. What is going on here? He’s defending Daniel’s name but also grouping this girl into it.. Are they..? 

“The rest of us call him Dan or Danny,” the small one informs me. 

‘Don’t use Daniel, or Sam gets emotional.’ 

“I really don’t mind either way-” Daniel starts to speak, quickly interrupted by Sam. 

“No! That’s my- our name for you!” 

I feel a slight breeze as a slender, brown-haired girl swiftly passes me, walking directly up to Sam and grabbing his arm. 

She looked at me, her face twisted into an uncomfortable expression, and said, “I’m SO sorry about him.” Then she glanced at Jacob and said, “Good luck, Jake.” 

She tugged on his arm, and he stood up. Much taller than I was expecting, he grabbed his drink before walking away. 

“But Bird, she called him Daniel!”

“I’m very sorry, but can’t you see the professional pants she’s wearing? She’s IMPORTANT, Sam!”

“Why would I look at her pants?” 

“Just leave them alone!”

I quickly shake my head, trying to remember where I was in the original conversation before things got… weird. 

“Anyway,” I start, “You only have the two boys and yourself as employees, so if she is also bartending, you need to get her paperwork filled out. Otherwise, then you’re also violating payroll.” I’m watching him process everything I’ve told him, his eyes finally looking to meet mine. I can see the anxiety on his face. His eyes look so sad. 

“Um,” I turn to the small man beside me, “Do you mind giving us a minute?” 

“Absolutely. I’m Josh, by the way,” he reaches his hand out to shake mine, 

“Nice to meet you, Josh. I’m Charlotte.” I firmly shake his hand before he prances away to the booth where Sam, the girl who stole him away, and someone else is sitting. 

“I’m sorry about them, or well, all of this?” Jacob finally said, “I definitely didn’t realize that I hadn’t finished things. I double-checked even before submitting it. I really had no idea. This is the first business I’ve ever run, and I’m doing it alone, basically.” His voice is still riddled with panic, and it sounds like he’s trying to make sense of it in his head. 

I pull out a barstool, set the folder on the bar, and make myself comfortable in the seat. Trying to make myself seem less intimidating has always been funny to me, being a more petite girl. 

“I know you’re working, but the least I can do is offer you a drink,” he says, grabbing a glass from behind him and gently shaking it to get my approval.

“Well, thank you. Whatever is easiest for you, I appreciate it.” I start looking through the folder for what I need, realizing I don’t have everything. I can just email it to him. He seems nervous. I’m sure he’ll panic to get everything in order.  

“Wine? Beer?” 

“Actually, if you have bourbon, that would be fine.” 

I watch his eyes go from sad to almost excited. His emotions are evident on his face right now. The corners of his mouth slowly turn into a little smirk, letting out a laugh of disbelief. 

“That’s my kinda girl,” he says, turning around to grab a bottle from the shelf. 

Is it warm in here? Did he just- You’re working, Charlotte, get a grip. 

He sets the glass of amber liquid in front of me, still smiling to himself. 

“Okay, so is there anything else I messed up?” 

“Not to make things worse, but is she certified?” 

His eyes shut as his head drops back; I see his chest rise slowly and then fall, “Oh, I’m sure she isn’t.” 

“Okay, um, so that’s not as important. Let’s just get you situated with this stuff first?” Why are we being nicer to him? He’s clearly behind on everything; just let him have it.  

“Yeah, whatever I need to do. I really am sorry I didn’t do this before.” 

I’m literally ruining this guy’s entire day. Which is his fault. Well, yes, but he feels so bad about it. I’m more used to having owners storm off, not talk to me, or the opposite, yell directly into my face about it. Also, to be fair, I’m not used to bar owners being close in age to me. I’m definitely more accustomed to older gentlemen who would rather risk tax evasion than get their employees on an actual payroll. 

“It’s okay, Jacob,” I look back at him, setting the papers on the bar for him, “Honestly.” 

His eyes look back and forth between mine like he’s trying to decide if I’m lying. The only thing I’d be lying about is that he is kind of cute. Charlotte, you’re here to do your job and leave. Yes,  but he’s been very receptive and isn’t trying to degrade me for doing my job. Plus, his smile is pretty. 

‘Nice smile’

I take a sip of my drink and then surprise myself. 

“How about I leave all of this with you and come back in a few days to grab it? I’ll be in town for a little bit, and I don’t want to overwhelm you more than I already have.” Okay Charlotte? 

“That would be perfect,” he breathes a sigh of relief, “I can absolutely get everything sorted out. Thank you so much.” His voice is back to a more stable sound, and the anxiety seemingly has subsided. 

The door chime sounds off, causing him to glance over as a handful of people come in. I grab my phone from my bag, tapping the screen to reveal 6:07 p.m. Ah, everybody’s out of work. I watch as he looks back at the girl behind the bar, back at the customers, and then at me. 

“Mel,” he addresses her. Can you just find out what they want, and I’ll take care of it?” She salutes as she drops what she’s doing, mumbling, “Yes, Sir,” as she passes him. His eyes roll slightly at the comment, turning back to me. “I can have Josh clock in if you need me still.”

“No, you’re fine. I’m just going to finish doing some work, and this,” I tap my glass lightly, letting a small smile slip through. His face softens a bit at the gesture. 

“Okay, well, please just stop me if you need anything.” 

I scroll through my emails, continuing to make little notes for myself. This bar has been interesting so far, but, the longer I sit here, the more things continue to happen. I’ve just been trying to take in everything while I’m here. Places like this are few and far between. 

I look up from my phone to see Jacob fiddling with his hair, pulling the hair tie out slowly and sliding it down onto his wrist. He ran his fingers through his ends to loosely comb it out and then wrapped it back up into another little bun. His hair is so long? Also, it’s fun to watch a man pull out his baby hair. I didn’t think they knew about that.  

He flips the sink on, rolling his sleeves up slightly so they sit just above his elbows. I don’t mean to stare at him while he’s doing menial things, but something is holding my attention while he washes his hands that I can’t figure out.  

I try to focus on anything else, turning to see Josh walking up to Daniel with his hand held out. I can’t make out what they’re saying to each other, but Daniel grabs his hand and kisses his knuckles quickly, releasing Josh back into the chaos of the bar. Wait- so.. Who is actually with Daniel? 

A notification pops up on my phone, and it’s an email from my boss. 

‘Charlotte,

Again, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going to be out for a few days. How much time off do you want again? I know we just talked about this. Anyway, I hope everything goes smoothly with the Caravel Tavern. It’s a new business, so it would be a shame to see it go under quickly. I know you’ll give them hell, though.’

It’s a bit disheartening to see that the entire reason I was even coming to Portland has been dismissed, but I guess that’s just business for you. Not that I was necessarily excited to be here for a few days and not work, but at least be mindful of the reason. I offered to stop by to take care of this since I would be in the area, and maybe that should have been my sign that he didn’t care about whatever else I would be doing. 

“You okay over there, Red?” his small, raspy voice somehow cut through the chatter of the bar. I look up to find him opening a beer for someone and setting it on their napkin, his smile fully displayed for them. 

Taking a little sip of my drink, slowly becoming water with a hint of bourbon, I nod once. 

“You really run a tight ship around here, huh?” I say as he walks back over to me. Something in that moment shifts; I don’t know what it is. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, like the subtle compliment caught him truly off guard. I can’t read what emotion he’s feeling, but his eyes are conveying something different. 

“Uh, I do my best,” he finally choked out, “I probably drive them all crazy, but we’re still afloat, so something must be working.” 

Mel laughs as she’s drying glasses behind him, “You’re definitely something.” 

He slowly blinks with a tight smile at her comment, with a quick shake of his head. I lift my glass to my lips, taking the last bearable sip before it’s quite literally just water. 

“I think I’m going to head out,” I tell him, gathering the paperwork he needs, “I’ll leave this with you; if you can please try to get it done in the next couple of days, that would be great.” He just nods at my request. 

“Also, I didn’t have the physical paperwork on me to get Mel on your payroll but I can email the forms to you if that works?” 

“I will do whatever is easiest.” 

I’m still not used to someone cooperating as easily as he has. I came in too prepared for him to be an ass about everything, on top of surprising him with more issues. I’m grateful he isn’t making this more complicated than it needs to be. 

I fold the blank sheet, hide my notes about his brothers, and slide them to him with a pen.

“Here, can you write down your email and phone number for me?” I ask quietly.

“Trying to get my number already? We just met.” He smirks at me as I cringe internally. 

I just stare at him for a second too long, not able to come up with any sort of response to that. 

The silence is deafening between us as his cheeks flush, his eyes darting down to the paper. He swiftly grabs the pen, scribbling down his information for me, writing his name above them, ‘Jake,’ as if I would forget. 

He clears his throat before speaking, “Well, I need to, uh, go work on this, so,” his embarrassment slowly taking him over, “Drive safe, and I will see you, um, soon. Sorry about.. Everything today?” 

I choke back the laugh threatening to escape me, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than he’s made himself. But it was kind of cute watching him shove his foot in his mouth.  I tuck the paper into my bag, grabbing my things as I stand up from the barstool. 

“Oh,” I speak up, “how much do I owe you?” tapping the rim of my glass. 

He leans over, grabbing the glass with a slight smile on his flushed face, “I think you earned it; it’s on me.” 

“Well, thank you. Have a good night, Jacob. I’ll see you in a few days.” 

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I hadn’t been to our lake house in a while—years, probably. We used to spend weeks at a time visiting the lake and spending time on the water. As I got older, so did my parents, we slowly stopped frequenting, but they would never get rid of it. I’ve spent countless hours convincing them to rent it out as an Airbnb, but they refuse. 

The roads are a little daunting at night, with so many sharp turns and practically no street lights. I suppose I should be used to living so far north, but I know that area well. I’ve never really had to drive myself around here; I was always in the backseat for this drive.

Pulling into our dirt driveway, there she is. Our sweet little house absolutely has seen better days, but that’s okay. It feels enough like home to make the next couple of days bearable.  I had been dreading this week, but even seeing the outside, in the dark no less, has made me feel a bit of relief. 

Walking through the mud room and into our kitchen, it smells like a basement. It’s apparent that none of us have visited in a while, and to be fair, it’s October at this point. It’s probably for the best that I’m here for a few days so I can clean things up, and then maybe, next time my parents come, it won’t seem as… musty. It will also distract me from my own brain. 

We do tend to get the better of you. Speak for yourself.

I toss my bags onto my old bed, unable to remember the last time I slept there. I finally sit, letting out a long sigh. Closing my eyes, I let my head drop back, letting the muscles stretch for a moment.  The sadness building up and threatening to escape, I grab my laptop from my bag; I need to be doing something. 

‘Hi,

Sorry for the late response. I stopped by the bar today. They had a lot going on, so I left the paperwork with him to fill out, and I’ll stop back there to grab it before coming home. He seemed eager to get everything done; he’s much younger than I think either of us anticipated. 

As for days off, I think at least this week, and then I’ll be good to go.’ 

I’m not particularly good at giving myself days off, but I love my job, so why would I not work? Also, I rarely have to really connect with people, so it makes it easier to just zone out and get my work done. It’s not often that we have to hound people for their paperwork, and even when we do, it’s usually for the new employees to do. It builds character, I guess. Having grown adults scream at you definitely gives you thick skin. 

Reaching down, I pull the folded paper out of my bag. Typing his email into the To: bar, attaching the documents he needs. 

‘Thank you for being so flexible about this. - Charlotte’ 

I added a subject line, ‘New Employee Payroll Forms’, and double-checked that everything was there. I hit send. Perfect, everything is done. 

Charlotte: Hi Jacob, sorry for the late text- I just sent over those forms to your email. If you can get those done ASAP, that would be wonderful. If you need assistance with anything, feel free to reach out. - Charlotte. 

Feel free to reach out? Why are you offering the opportunity for him to text you? It’s literally the least we can do; you saw how overwhelmed he was. 

I can see the way his face drained of color when I clocked Mel behind the bar. The way he stumbled over his words, his hand finding comfort on the back of his neck, probably to prevent from fidgeting endlessly. He definitely didn’t realize he had messed up. I don’t know why you feel bad, this happens to you all the time. 

I set my laptop on my nightstand and plug in my phone. Everything is done, so now I can just do what I need to. I take the time to make something small to eat and shower, killing just enough time and relaxing enough to where I’m about to sleep. I crawl into bed, pulling my hair up into a bun on the top of my head before snuggling in. 

I reach out to grab my phone and set an alarm for tomorrow morning. I opened my messages just to make sure I hadn’t missed anything or forgotten to reply to anybody. 

Unknown Number: oh don’t apologize. Thank you for being patient with me, i really appreciate it.

I tap on the number at the top, saving the number, ‘Jacob’. I lock my phone, placing it back on my nightstand. Staring up at the ceiling, I attempt to fall asleep. Replaying thoughts of her in my mind, I feel a slight prick in my eyes. Finally, I succumbed to the feeling. I’m not ready.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter One

FDOG Masterlist | Masterlist | FDOG Playlist

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#gvf #greta van fleet #greta van fic #gvf fic #greta van fluff #jake gvf #danny gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka x reader #jacob thomas kiszka #jtk x reader #jtk #jtk smut #fdog #the caravel tavern series #soft jake #imagine gvf but rom coms #romcom #romance #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet smut #greta van smut #greta van angst #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner

[futturmangamez]

Hellloo tumblr! Or should I say..futturfriends? I don't know hah! This is very important‼‼⚠️ I really hope everyone can see this

Just wanted to say a big thank you again for all of the love I have received so far! Did not think that I could gain a lot of new friends on here:) I wanted to point out though..I am uh..23. And I do tend to post a LOT of...nsfw topics😅 so I think it's really important to remember that unless you're an adult, I suggest not looking through my page and stuff. Maybeee 16+ is okay? Not for all things though. But still..I see some of you little preteenagers trying to talk to me in certain ways when you should be finishing your middle school final project before summer(light hearted joke😆🤣)

On another note! I do want to make sure everyone who is following and interacting my page feels comfortable. I want to be a safe space for you guys whether it be to reblog silly posts, ask me questions or share what you're up to, even messaging me how your day is, a little uh..flirtayy😌(hello beautiful ladies,men, and other futterfriends💋), and ranting as well! I dont mind any of that stuff..just keep in mind that I receive a lot of messages now and I try to balance tumblr with my games and work such! So please pleasee do not be hurt or offended if it takes me a few hours or even a day to reply sometimes 😅 I promise I will get to you when I can. Love you💙

(Also hi! This account is growing quite quick and I appreciate a lot of you for sticking around as well..still kinda new to tumblr and shit. Pls remember this is yknow..a roleplay account..I'm aware josh does post some annoying stuff hah I am just here to make others happy and do as best as I could roleplaying as josh..even if it's a lil horny haha I'm an adult too. I myself am nott trying to get with any of u..if that wasnt clear🤭I'm also human. Not an ai bot. (C ai and janitor ai has lots of josh futturman bots:)) I promise none of you guys are bothering me but I tend to take some time now to answer as it's been difficult balancing things, especially since I have some low mental health days too..as I'm sure josh would as well:D but yes feel free to message or reblog as much as u want..I know all of us are going thru something..if you're under 18 I dont mind if u come to josh to talk about anything NOT nsfw. I know what it's like to be young and not have a safe place to talk about things/rant..josh can be like your older silly cousin or sumn🫂 and if u ever prefer josh to say specific things in dm just say so :] also down to make friends with anyone here as well. Sending love and virtual hugs💜- B🃏

#sorry this was long #very important though! #future man #josh futturman #josh hutcherson #roleplay

[especiallythewomenandthechildren]

As If Destiny (part fourteen)🌹

Part 13🌹

A/N: it's been a hot minute, I'm sorry! I was swamped with AP tests and all that nonsense so I haven't had time (or mental capacity) to write. But I have cooked up something! Is it good? Well isn't that up to you dear reader? I hope you enjoy it and forgive me for the wait (and spolier: no coryo😔)! much love!!

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"You look horrible."

You would have retorted to Arachne's comment, but it was true. You did look horrible, and Arachne was blurry. Watching the world speed by in a blur wasn't a concern until you turned your head from the window and the mediocre train car was hazy splotches of color.

"And you look like a pale orb."

Your mind was being split with a migraine, and it felt as if the flood was rushing to your brain, even though you were sitting straight up. These symptoms, which included chills even in the heat-packed train car, had suddenly overtaken you. You played it off as motion sickness because you had no other reason to believe otherwise. Arachne was not so convinced, but she kept her suspicions to herself.

"Well, at least lay down before you hurl on my shoes. I really like this pair."

Your response came in a series of grunts and grumbles as you covered your face when the pain intensified. Arachne closed her leather-bound book while concern broke through her stone-faced expression. You leaned your head back against the headrest as you opened your eyes only to shut them out of the burning pain that accompanied the light.

"Where am I going to lay down exactly? There isn't enough room on these seats."

Ara rolled her chestnut eyes, a motion you obviously missed but could so tangibly feel.

"There is a real innovative mechanism called laying on the floor."

The words were surprising enough that you dealt with the pain as you peeled your eyes open enough for a dubious squint at your friend.

"I didn't even know you knew that concept existed."

You awarded the reason why you narrowly missed the midnight-colored book Arachne threw at you to your natural instincts rather than the still hazed vision of yours.

"Hey, damsel in distress here! A few days out of the Capital and you've lost all sense!"

Your most posh and eloquent voice was composed by the little giggles and breaks as you teased the redhead. She watched on as your joy was interrupted by a fresh wave of pain, earning the otherwise silent car a few winces. Arachne got up, walked straight across to you, and peeled one hand off the side of your skull.

"You're District now, Ace. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable."

She led your throbbing body gently to the ground. You thought she would step back to her original seating, yet Arachne has been one for surprises lately. As the pain washed backward into your mind, your eyes stared straight up at the beige ceiling of the car even with the squirming and huffs of Arachne filling your right ear.

You held in your laughter in paralysis for as many moments you could grasp before they broke through their capture within your throat. Your eyes were still trained on the ceiling as your body rattled with laughter at the clear discomfort and possible regret radiating off Arachne's body.

"Somebody is clearly feeling better." Arachne's reply was a sour grumble, but you joyfully met it with a blinding smile in her direction.

"Oh, but how could I not when the Arachne Crane is willing to lay on the atrocious floor for silly old me—OW! Stop attacking me!"

Well, and of course, the only natural reply was yet another slap to your abdomen from the smirking redhead.

The two of you stared up at the ceiling in an air of harmony. Silence has been more foe than friend in recent times, yet in those moments of peace, it was a readily accepted companion. Your eyes were strained at the ceiling, ears to the rumble of the tracks beneath you, and your heart was not with you but in shreds somewhere in District Eight. You closed your eyelids against the thought, but it reached into every corner of your mind and being. Though, before you could physically beat it out of you, the train began to slow.

Arachne was quick to get up and confirmed your arrival with astonishment capturing her pale features. You sat up and used your friend's outstretched hand to pull yourself up, catching a glimpse outside the window.

The train station was littered with a sullen and soot-covered population fluttering around. The distance was consumed by coal mines and smoke painting the sky a sickly shade of abuse. Grey was the only word to describe what crossed your vision. The sky, atmosphere, and people.

Both you and Arachne stepped outside and seemingly into your pasts. The hunger in the eyes. Paleness of the workers' skin. Ever-present tears latching onto the populace's eyes. It was a scene you and Arachne were all too familiar with. Before you, district-born citizens shifted into long-dead Capital residents. You were no longer the woman you forged yourself into but that little scared girl. The grey was not from the coal but rather the gloom of expired misery.

"Come on, Ace."

Arachne's voice was soft as her eyes trained on your vacant face. She lightly nudged you towards the direction of the transport cars for the rest of the scientists and peacekeepers. Your footsteps felt like molds within cement as you made your way across the train platform.

It was all in due time, you think. Every experience you've ever had with trains was all in regards to this district in which you now inhabit. District Twelve seems to be the only certainty within your life.

Nothing but pure curiosity flowed through you as the transport car made its way to the base. The sky was prepared for storms, causing the color to match the houses, yet the trees from the midway forest stood out. No matter how many faces or buildings you passed, your eyes were trained on the woods. Woods that held such deep secrets. And bodies.

The base was a large complex of several buildings as well as a series of courtyards currently filled with training peacekeepers. You and Arachne made your way into the main building and were impressed. Not by any architectural feats but the lack of pearly marble the Capital prides itself in.

You and your assessing companion had to split up into two different lines for registration, although you both would be filling the same role as researchers here. Arachne made her way to the front of the alphabet while you settled into the section for the latter half. You had a good while before you reached the registration table, so you spent your time once again analyzing your surroundings.

The area was far greener than the area surrounding the train station. The thought of how the foresters' area must look when the sun shines crossed your mind. Brightness in Twelve invariably shifted your thoughts to Lucy Gray Baird. Casca Highbottom was a cruel man, but would he add to the fresh scars of the underdog winner? Unbeknownst to you, your thoughts were painted crystal clear upon your face.

"If you are planning an escape route from here, I would recommend the trees."

Your trance was broken by a smooth voice. You spun around and were met with glistening hazel eyes belonging to an admittedly handsome man with freshly buzzed hair. Just one simple statement and reality was crashing hard around you as the realization that all of the past days' events were real.

You were disowned, outcast, and banished to the District that martyred your family and its sanity. Unfortunately, the silence that was a byproduct of your epiphanies was mistaken as disregard by the striking man. His smile turned shy while an awkward laugh escaped him.

“Uhm, that wasn’t very specific, was it? I am still getting used to the forests surrounding me.”

The boy, who couldn't have been more than a year or two older than you, scratched his neck while he avoided eye contact with you. It finally dawned on you that an actual response is expected from you and this boy was the first human you've spoken to in the past few days besides Arachne. As much fondness you hold for her, it is refreshing to hear another voice. You looked directly at him and gave him a kind smile.

“I am going to have to get used to it as well, though the advice seems pretty sound. I’ll end up somewhere, even if it is in a circle.”

His hazel eyes snapped back to yours as soon as he heard your voice (fortunately) not belittling him or insulting his awkward statements. The line moved up a handful of people in the span of your miniature conversation. You walked forward along with the line and when you turned back to face the brunette, your faces were mere inches apart.

Your eyes met his hazel ones as you hastily backed up in panic as you sought your rings to provide you comfort. Now, you were the one avoiding eye contact and coughing while trying to rid yourself of your reddened cheeks. Accident or not, the proximity felt like yet another reminder of your new twenty years of loneliness. Or possibly less, as Arachne tries her best to convince you.

“Uhm, I - I am so sorry! There was someone moving past me and I tried to make room and—”

“It’s okay, I promise.”

He was clearly sweet and shy, although a bit graceless. Though it wouldn't be too bad to make some friends in your home for the next three years. His cheeks burned with unbearable heat as he tried to move past the prior fumble between the two of you.

“Well, those are beautiful rings.”

You had completely forgotten about the jewelry you still had been messing with to calm your nerves. Your eyes moved to look at the one you currently had your ring finger looped through, and it was no surprise to see the riveting snowflakes shine in the fluorescent lights. Though you tried to fight it off, somberness overtook you, but you were able to manage a timid thank you as you were hypnotized by the ring filled with promises of the past. Unfortunately, the poor boy couldn't help but continue the unintentionally one sided conversation.

"You must be from the Capitol."

After mentally cursing yourself for losing your attention again, your eyebrows scrunched in curiosity at the boy's quick assumption.

"Am I so obvious?"

Your voice was a mixture of astonishment and vulnerability. Worries about standing out like a sore thumb and what consequences that might result in began poisoning your mind but were slightly calmed by this odd boy's laugh.

"I haven't been here long, but even I know that people in Twelve don't have jewelry like that. Plus, most scientists here are from the Capitol, so it was easy to guess. Not to mention other—uhm—attributes."

The last note was a bit peculiar but was easily surpassed by embarrassment. You hid your face behind your hands as you groaned in mortification.

"Ugh, you must think me vapid and insolent!"

Only a few more aspiring scientists and Peacekeepers stood between you and the table now, yet your eyes were still covered in humiliation that was only intensified by yet another chuckle from the boy.

"Yeah, no, out here in the Districts, we don't use those words either."

Yet another groan rumbled through your throat as you tried to fuse your hands to your face. However, your plans were foiled as a light shoulder bump sparked intrigue. Those hazel eyes were the first sight to grace the world outside your palms, and the second was his tender smile.

"Don't worry too much. Just hide your clearly expensive rings and steer away from words straight out of a dictionary. Do they make you guys recite from the dictionary out there? Give me five synonyms for embarrassed. Oh, wait, no—did I just accidentally insult the Capitol?"

And like that, the dread that had overcome you began melting off as you earned a chuckle of your own, which he met with a charming grin, although the concern about his possible offense made it slightly tense. You quickly tucked your rings beneath your shirt and scribbled a reminder into your brain to find new articles to fidget with.

"You know what? Some might be studying it as much as our textbooks for increasingly niche words to insult others."

There was only a girl in front of you now with dark red hair and freckled skin as you and your companion giggled. He was the first to stop as he looked to you for confirmation that he wouldn’t be hanged for laughing at Capitol residents, albeit with one of their own. A sweet silence accompanied you both when you looked up at the taller boy in interest.

"Well, now since you know where I am from, it's only fair I get to know the same about you."

A look of longing and sadness swam through his earth-toned eyes. He looked off into the distance while squaring his shoulders as if to carry mountains of weight upon them.

"Two."

You had always been good with words, but they failed you at that moment. Not only did Sejanus race through your mind, but his fallen friend turned tribute, Marcus. Was there any chance that this boy knew either of them?

"Next!"

Your gaze met once more, but all further inquiries ceased as an opening appeared in front of a middle-aged blonde woman with deep brown eyes. No time could be wasted in any aspect related to the Capitol, so you swallowed your curiosity and made your way forward. Though you never did get the boy's name.

The woman looked exhausted from clear years of service, and her voice only added to her evident exasperation. She asked the expected questions of what your name was and took your fingerprints as she gave you several forms to fill out while her head remained down, writing furiously at a stack of papers.

"Y/N Vaun, ma'am."

While you knew your surname was infamous in the Capitol, you were shocked at the sudden movement of the woman’s head upwards. Seconds passed as her gaze just burned into your being while you could do nothing more than avert your own sight elsewhere. The woman quickly regained her professionalism and swiftly retrieved a small, pristine white envelope. The texture was fine and could be from nowhere else than the Capitol. A claim supported by the evidently formal handwriting on the front displaying your name.

"It's an honor to have you here, Miss Vaun. You must be something special; that letter comes straight from Casca Highbottom."

The man's name was enough for you to stop all movement. Your fingers paused, your breathing ceased, and your eyes froze in place. Of course, the Hunger Games creator wasn't done playing games with you yet. Yet, if there was one thing you needed to master to survive here, it was a facade. So, you swallowed your anguish and gave a polite smile as you finished up all your forms.

You flew through them, especially compared to a young black-haired and tanned boy next to you who was one of the many illiterate. Just as you finished the last signature and handed off to the aging woman, you noticed Arachne appear in the corner of your right eye. In the corner of your left, you searched for the hazel-eyed boy from before, though all searches were fruitless as he was nowhere to be found. You grabbed your uniform, ID, and other important papers and made your way to your friend, and thankfully, bunkmate, as Capitol researchers only had to share their rooms with one other peer.

"Getting bribes already, Ace?"

Arachne joked as she nodded towards the pearly envelope that stood out from your other items. You responded with a swift jab to the side and a loud "hush!" The look in your eyes was quickly understood by the redhead to stall any further questioning till the hopefully, safety of your room.

You both walked out into the central courtyard and made your way to the scientist quarters in the west, opposite the Peacekeeper quarters in the east. You watched a regiment of the latter-mentioned group run past the two of you, guns in clear sight causing anxious breaths to ripple through your lungs.

Though, you attempted to remind yourself that you were seen as one of them. Not a threat. Due to the events of the past week, it had been hard not to keep an eye out over your shoulder. However, the arrival to your room was smooth and as soon as your door was shut, you wasted no time before throwing Arachne the envelope, which she caught swiftly. You let her examine it for herself as you looked around the room that you would be calling refuge for the next 36 months.

It was small yet not cramped. The walls were a bland grey and the floor cold cement. Directly opposite the door was a central window that pointed towards the woods, as your room was in the back of the housing complex. You threw yourself down on the right grey and metal-wired bed, leaving Arachne to settle into the one across as she grappled with the paper within her hands.

"Congrats, you are officially his number one favorite victim to mess with."

Your groans of frustration were confirmation that Arachne’s words were far from helpful. You got up from your sitting position and snatched the envelope out of her hands and began pacing back and forth. Whatever was in the envelope, it wasn’t good.

"Maybe he felt generous and gave you some money. Or a postcard from your home that he banished you from. Or maybe some spare morphling—oh, who are we kidding?"

You leveled her with a glare of equal disappointment.

"That was unnecessary and cruel."

"Just like the Hunger Games, right?"

Her words were a surprise, no doubt, but Arachne is full of them nowadays. She is District Twelve after all. And willingly! You looked down at the handwriting of the Games' inventor and huffed. Might as well get it over with.

In one expeditious movement, you ripped the envelope open and pulled out the equally as extravagant paper from its hiding place. You couldn’t resist the urge to quickly unfold the paper and read it in an instant. In all truth, that was all it took to read the articles of the letter.

It was a truth Arachne quickly found out after your scoff that piqued her intrigue even further as she made her way to read over your shoulder. Then it was her turn to scoff at the words written. You stood in place, rereading the letter’s contents over and over again while she walked over to the window.

"Just to be clear, he only hates you and Coriolanus because you look like your dead parents?"

Your bitter laugh was a sign enough of the ridiculousness of this whole situation and the cruelty of Casca Highbottom. No matter the reason, it was only fact that Dean Highbottom wished hell upon Coriolanus Snow and, by association and loyalty, you. Your eyes trained upon the words once more as you tried to make sense of them.

South of society and North of the reminders. The woods are full of blood's secrets.

You make your way to Arachne’s post by the window. Looking out to the rows and rows of trees, whether fortunately or not, the meaning of the words opened up in your mind. You turned your head to Arachne, who was already looking your way, and had a smile of exasperation upon your lips yet mischief in your eyes.

She already began shaking her head against whatever idea you concocted. Letter in hand and dread in place, you try to poke at the last bit of light you can grasp.

"Ready to take a hike?”

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It was mid-afternoon, and the sun began slowly breaking apart the clouds as you trekked through the woods, a disgruntled Arachne following.

“Of all the districts, you just had to be sent here?” She grumbled rhetorically while smacking a branch harshly out of her frowning face.

You were ahead of her, trying to analyze your surroundings for any type of so-called “reminders.” A small blade was in your hand as your focus centered on the plethora of tree trunks. You had no idea what you were looking for, but you knew Dean Highbottom. If there was one joy in the man’s desolate life, it was using the dead to torture the living. Ghost stories were his favorite pastime.

Your family's ghosts lived within these woods. Their blood became the fertilizer of the sturdy trees. The rabbit hole within your mind brought you nothing but fury until you were the one throwing all caution to the wind as you hit branches and cut trees in your way. The turn in your behavior was picked up instantly by Arachne, who rushed to your side, narrowly avoiding tripping twice. She gently put a hand on an outstretched forearm and forced you to look at her.

Not a single word came out of her mouth. Only patience radiated off of her as she waited for your explanation to ease her worries. You huffed as you looked up to force the tears inside.

“I know who I am going to find and what he has become.”

No name was mentioned, and there was no need. Arachne had also suspected Highbottom's ploy. Otto Vaun had been butchered with these very trees, and hard physical proof of your brother's death was the punishment you were sent to Twelve for. Arachne wasn't often someone people looked to for comfort, nor did she wish to be. However, after finally reconnecting with you, she wanted to be at least somewhat of a pillar of solace.

She went in for an attempt at a hug until you were saved from her unpracticed embrace when her eyes caught onto something strange. Arachne lightly gasped, causing you to follow her line of sight, and strange no longer became the right word. Sinister was the only description you felt fit.

A thick tree stood in contrast to all those surrounding it as its bark was not the casual brown it ought to be but rather a dismal grey. In the center of it was a charcoal black outline of a body, and upon closer inspection, bodies due to the varying lines around the arms and head. Upon the sides were fingernail marks clawing at the bark in deep grooves. It did not even smell like the rest, but rather of fatality.

Stillness and silence overtook the woods as you and Arachne were hypnotized by the macabre display. The pair of you were so fully absorbed that a movement was heard in the leaves, and you were on high alert. You quickly readied your blade and scanned your eyes over the area. You were unsure of which though horrified you most: a possible Peacekeeper who would rat you out for your unsupervised and unapproved excursion or an unfriendly local.

The sound began jumping from area to area along with your heart rate as you couldn’t stop your head from continually swiveling. It came continually closer, which naturally pushed you and Arachne back to the base of the grotesque tree.

You felt it hit your back, causing you to turn and feel the panic and fear of the sight all over again as you let out a small scream.

You stumbled back from the burnt bark only to be met with the source of your initial fright, a little brown rabbit who quickly hopped away at your appearance. Yet another small yelp of surprise pushed past your lips, causing Arachne to laugh as she stepped towards you.

“How you survived the arena, I don’t understand.”

Your arm was already instinctively pulling back to land a punch on her arm when a voice appeared from the leaves above you, causing the taunting girl to scream herself. Hypocrite.

“I knew you weren’t from the Seam! Too jumpy.”

A young yet self-assured voice spoke. The voice belonged to a young girl with dark curly hair, tan skin, and eyes that felt all too familiar. However, your interest was quickly recaptured as another girl appeared and voiced her opinions.

“If it makes you feel better, I said you were too pretty to be from the Seam.”

This girl’s voice was sweet and honey-like, reminding you of a certain charismatic singer and victor. The two girls, who seemed to be around 12, got themselves comfortable and fully visible as they sat upon some branches.

The one with curly hair was wearing a pair of dusty dark brown pants paired with a worn-out dusty blue blouse. Her blonde companion was dressed in a colorful textured pink and white maxi skirt with a baby blue blouse as well. You stared at them curiously while Arachne was in her natural state of suspicion and intimidation. The pair stared down at you expectantly, and when neither you nor Arachne spoke, their eyes lit up as rapid-fire questions were asked.

“So where are you from?!”

“How did you get here?”

“Have you been to any other districts?! What are they like?!”

“Why are you here?”

“Are you guys friends too?! Have you ever been to the Capitol?! Ooo are you from the Capitol?!”

“No way, look at the scars on her neck. That doesn’t happen in the Capitol.”

You had no control as your hand involuntarily covered the aforementioned scars. Arachne didn’t like this one bit and couldn’t keep the edge out of her voice.

“You know nothing about the Capitol.”

The possibility of even just one of you being from the Capitol should have caused the girls to take heed and for them to leave when they could. But the pair weren’t known for their social awareness.

The girl of certainty jumped down, quickly followed by her sweet-smiled friend. You just watched as she walked towards you and no matter how fast your reflexes, you were too stunned to stop the girl from poking your forehead. She moved away immediately, yet you swatted the vacant air, staring at her for some sort of explanation that might somehow excuse the odd action. She shrugged as if it was completely normal.

“My dad sees fake people all the time. I thought maybe I could too!”

The excitement in her voice did nothing to reason her appearance rationally. You’ve only ever met two other District Twelve locals, and they were Jessup and Lucy Gray. Jessup's silence was understandable, and you excused Lucy Gray's oddities due to her Covey affiliation, but now you are starting to think this is normal District behavior. If so, the next three years are going to be something.

It was then that the blonde noticed the forgotten letter in your grasp.

“Ooo, what's in the letter?!”

You cleared your throat and tried to move past their questioning to ask some of your own. You nodded toward the tree with the ghastly marks. The two looked at it as if it was not different than the rest until it clicked in their head. They began speaking over each other until the one with familiar eyes began explaining.

“Ah, it's one of my favorite relics - that’s the right word, right?” She looked to her friend for confirmation, who giddily nodded her head. Both you and Arachne shared a look: this was going to be an interesting tale.

“Back in the war, the Capitol wasn’t good at dealing with the woods, so they started burning them down! The poor birds. So our soldiers got fed up, and whenever they got the chance, they tied them and did the same thing!”

Her ecstatic voice got you both lost as you tried to assure what she was saying. In addition, you started oddly feeling ice prickling your skin, yet there was no change on the surface. The local picked up on your confusion and was quick to confirm your suspicions.

“They sent them in flames! But you know what's funny? This tree outlived them all hahaha!”

Arachne was able to swallow the brutal practice easier than you, muttering something about “poetic irony.” She turned to gauge your reaction and instantly snapped into action.

Your eyes became glossed over, looking more like ice than your normally lively eyes. Your skin paled, and you were shivering. The second Arachne grabbed a hold of you, you fully lost consciousness.

“Was it the talk about fire or trees?” the dark-haired girl asked casually and was swiftly smacked upon her neck by her friend.

“You killed her! We are so going to be next! Rowan!”

The girl-Rowan, tried to play it off with a scoff and shake of her head.

“I didn't kill her! It's allergy season!”

Arachne was done with both of their likely endless banter and snapped orders.

“Stop bickering! Call someone and now!”

The two looked at your still-shaking body and swallowed. The blonde, who was still nameless to the two of you, turned to her friend in urgency.

“Go call your brother!”

Rowan was immediately against that as the fear overtook her eyes.

“No, absolutely not! Go call your sister! He will kill me if he found out!”

“They both will kill us when they figure out we actually did commit murder!”

Arachne was impatient and more than irritated at their lack of urgency.

“I will be the one committing murder if one of you doesn't alert someone immediately.”

Yet again, they turned to each other and pointed.

“Rowan, go!”

“Maude Ivory, go!”

Then, to the relief of Arachne's blood pressure, a man who looked only a few years older than you appeared, carrying what looked like a handmade bow and a quiver of arrows.

He noticed the two screaming girls first as he addressed them.

"What have I told you guys about yelling in the woods? Someone will find you—”

The words died on his tongue as he took in your cold and shivering body. Arachne, like anyone else, assumed the shock was from seeing an unconscious body on the floor. Yet, Rowan wasn’t unknown to the man and had been feeling some sort of connection to you.

“Wait, yeah! She does look like—”

“What did you guys do now?!”

The panic was evident in the dark-haired man as he tried to think of ways to explain the situation if any Peacekeepers were to walk upon them. The tone in his voice was warning enough not to press it, but the girls never really cared for warning labels.

“We were curious! We’ve never seen her before and she doesn’t look from Twelve! I think she is from one or two.”

Rowan exclaimed while Maude Ivory's voice was quick to refute.

“I think she is from the Capitol!”

“You better pray we aren’t!”

It was then that the three of them remembered or noticed that Arachne was sitting right there, cradling your body that had stopped shivering yet was ice cold. She felt for your pulse once more and it was slow, far too slow. The look evident in Arachne’s chestnut orbs translated the severity of the situation and was all the man needed to start moving. He crouched beside your body still within Arachne’s arms. He gestured to take your body but the Capitol girl was hesitant.

“We are researchers at the base, it would be safer to take her there.”

Just the mention of the base had the man shaking his dark unruly locks in opposition. He emphasized to Arachne that she had already broken several of their rigid rules by going out into the woods without proper training yet. Self-preservation was also a factor in his case because, well, he wasn’t the most favored person in the District. Arachne wasn’t sure why she agreed to let him take you back to his nearby cabin, yet here the five of you were.

The man sprinted to the cabin, busting open the door in the process. He set you upon an elevated cot while directing orders to the young girls. Maude Ivory was to grab a tin to start a small fire and Rowan to grab all blankets and thick material possible.

Arachne was never medically gifted so she stood out of the way while the house was enveloped in panic. The man was steady as he continued to check your pulse and ensure your chest was still rising. Maude Ivory and Rowan both returned with their allotted tasks completed, seemingly always in perfect synchrony.

Once both girls returned, he made eye contact with Arachne and ordered her to continue checking your well-being. He stepped into a small kitchen just opposite the room you were set in. Arachne could only assume that it was a living room of sorts yet the cot made her think it was also a bedroom.

She sat beside you while the girls tried to ensure you were warm and took in the state of the house. It was messy, small, and unorganized. There was dirt on the floor, leaves stuck within the cracks, mud on all the surfaces. But what caught Arachne’s attention were the tens of varying colored and shaped papers posted upon the wood walls.

The man quickly returned with an odd-colored tea and a towel, quickly dabbing it inside the tea and placing it upon your forehead. The redhead was subconsciously making her way to the decorated wall and was met with messy yet intricately detailed drawings. Her eyes scanned each one, bafflement exceeding the prior. It was only when she landed on a drawing that was of a woman Arachne knew all too well.

She whipped her head in the direction of the man, whose focus was still on you. Arachne kept her distance as her tone became just as icy as your being.

“Who exactly are you, white knight?”

Maude Ivory and Rowan both cocked their heads at your words while the man only creased his eyebrows, puzzled by her words. She took a calculated step forward and the Arachne Crane of only a few weeks ago came back alive. Arachne didn’t appreciate being played and that dislike extended to people playing with you. Though any interrogation was silenced as you began waking up.

Your eyes fluttered open and as soon as reality hit you, you picked your head up only to smash it back down in frustration. The move immediately frightened the suspicious man and Arachne, who rushed to your bedside to ensure you wouldn’t do the same move. You were quick to smack their hands away from you as you sat up, clearly displeased with the past events.

“I’m fine, I don’t need to lie down! I’m sick of being sick.”

Arachne rolled her eyes at your lack of self-concern while the man’s brown eyes creased in bewilderment. You looked around and noticed the prior two girls and the room, this likely being their home. It suddenly hit you that the man was a new addition to your little group. You nodded to him and gave a quick “nice to meet you,” seemingly unfazed.

After examining you herself, Arachne decided you were good enough to make the trek back and as far away from the man as possible. She pulled your arm harshly, causing you to stumble from the layers of blankets and clothing upon your now warm body. The force caused your necklace of rings to fly out of your shirt as well as nearly smashing into yet another man who just appeared.

This one was much older, hair already graying and eyes sullen. His skin was scarred and calloused. He didn’t smell much better than he looked. However, as your eyes connected, you noticed a similarity. A memory. The detail struck you both as he gasped.

You feared you did something or possibly hurt him so you started checking for wounds when his dry hand reached out and gently lifted your chin upwards to his now glossy and pooling eyes. His eyes mirrored yours in shade, a similarity you’ve never shared with anyone besides your own blood. He took you in as tears were let out, his hands shaking with the force of his sobs. Your mind was flooded with theories and questions, all of which you didn’t know what to make of.

You felt a cold metal on the side of your face and gently took his right hand away to reject an insane possibility screaming within your mind. Though, as you looked down at his hand, all of reality crashed down along with your knees. It can’t be possible. It cannot be possible.

The man followed you to the floor, the both of you crouched and you joined his crying. You pulled your necklace up to his finger. Side by side, two rings, of a lost era, proudly displayed the house of which you were the only remnant. Or so you believed.

A stag with vines surrounding was the notorious family crest of the Embridges. Your mother’s family. You looked back into the man’s eyes and he was no longer just a man.

“Uncle Alreic?”

You felt the air being ripped out of your lungs as he crushed you within his embrace. He soaked your hair with tears and followed it with patting it down. Alreic rocked you back and forth as if he let go just a fraction you would disappear.

Time was no longer a concept as he held onto you and you had forgotten the spectators until the young man with dark curls crouched beside you two. He lightly nudged Alreic’s body away from you until he could meet his eyes. You expected him to be upset but instead, his eyes lit up from their glossy state.

“Look Otto! Look, I told you you would see your mother again!”

Your breathing stopped but not because of a strong hug, but emotional destruction. You looked at the boy who was called Otto then back to the man who declared him such. It was then that you finally knew why Highbottom sent you here.

It would have been far too easy, far too gracious to let you off with just their graves. You have to deal with the resurrection of fatality’s pain.

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