#much more stuff happened but if i have to think about 2017 for a second longer my brain will fry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watermelonsugacry · 1 year

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Hey! Hope everything’s going good! Was thinking if bandmember did anything like the vanity fair Billie eilish videos when they watch back all those interviews. Would love to see how far our girl has come

YN YLN: Same Interview, The Sixth Year | Vanity Fair

A/N: Christmas break is coming up so been busy but I also have some stuff coming out soon for your lovies! 💚

SINCE 2010 masterlist

“Year six, baby,” YN smirks at the camera. “Alright—” She pulls on the tops of her pink sheer opera gloves that match her pink corset before clapping her hands together. “—Let’s do this. ‘Ello, m’name is YN YLN. Today’s date is October 18, 2022.”

How old are you?

“I’m 23 years old.”

“I’m 24.”

“25.”

“26.”

“27.”

“M’28 years old,” YN kisses her teeth. “M’pushing 30, mate.”

How many followers do you have on Instagram?

“I have 573K followers on Instagram.”

“8.7M.”

“60.9M.”

“94.8M.”

“106M.”

“I currently have 287 million followers on Instagram. Dunno why I have so many; I make a lot of shit posts.”

What is your most liked picture on Instagram?

2017:

“My most liked picture is one of me and the boys huddled up backstage after our last performance together with 654K likes.”

2019:

“It is a picture of me in my home recording studio with about 5 million likes.”

2022:

“It’s currently one of me photo dumps on tour. The first picture on that one is a selfie with Harry taking a bite out of m’cheek. This one has 60,036,819 likes. Which is way too many likes if m’being honest.”

How are you feeling today?

2022:

“M’feeling really good. I always look forward to these interviews. I try me best not to look at the old videos more than once so that I can best prepare meself for my current answers, yeh know? But I love that I get to do this every year. There’s a lot of like, time lapse compilation videos on meself on YouTube that show off how far I’ve come over the years but these I feel are the least cringy ones,” YN lets out a laugh.

Biggest thing to happen in your career?

2021:

“I won a Grammy for producer of the year?” YN furrows her eyebrows as she juts her chin out. “Wha’ is life? That’s insane. The highlight of me career. Hands down.”

2022:

“It’s still the highlight of me career. And I got nominated for it again for Grammys 2023. To even be nominated and be the only woman in this category a second year in a row is just super fookin’ wild. Um...I got seven other Grammy nominations for next year. I’m also on tour again—a world tour—and it’s definitely me favorite thing to do aside from making the actual music. Harry’s new album that we’ve been workin’ on for over the past two-ish years finally came out earlier this year. I’m dropping me third album before the year is up. So many good things have happened this year that it’s honestly too long to list.”

How often do you get recognized in public?

2017:

“Pretty often,” She nods her head, a chuckle pushing past her lips. “It’s pretty hard to just go out and grab a bite to eat without getting surrounded.”

2020:

“Public? Who is she? I dunno her,” YN teases. “It’s pretty rare that I’ll go out nowadays and the masks only help so much with trying to be lowkey on the street on stuff like tha’.”

2022:

“I have to admit, v’gotten a lot better at being discreet when going out in public,” She nods her head with a knowing smile. “I think I was just so used to not being ‘allowed’ to go outside or if I did I wouldn’t enjoy meself because I knew I was gonna get recognized by paps. It was really hard for baby YN there because of how everything started. Everything I did was in the public eye and no matta’ what I did, me fans always knew where I was at all times it seemed,” YN hums.

“I love me fans and I love the times when we happen to see each other on the street, we can have like a genuine conversation instead of shoving yeh phone in me face and putting yeh hands on me without me permission. I’ve had the most amazing conversations with fans like tha’ those moments are super special to me.

But in all honesty, they need to get hired by the FBI or somethin’. Knowin’ where m’gonna be before I even do,” She huffs out a chuckle.

What’s most important to you right now?

2020:

“The relationships within me life. I think this year has really made me recognize that. Whether those relationships are with me mum, me boyfriend, me tour team, me dancers, the fans—they’re all super important to me. Makin’ sure that we’re all safe and healthy—mentally and physically—now more than ever.”

2022:

“All of which are still very important to me. I think v’also learned to stay in touch with me emotions. I think in an industry like this, it can be very easy to just put on a mask or passively go through events to maintain an image. If I’m doing something—wether it be somethin’ major or not, I want to allow m’self to be in the moment.

I did a show recently in Austin and...” The crease between her eyebrows disappear and smile etches itself on her lips at the memory, “I was singing POV and I just stopped singing and the crowd took over. I quite literally just stood there, took out me earpieces and just listened to a stadium full of people sing my song back to me. It made me feel so...it made me feel really good, really happy.”

Do you feel pressure?

2017:

“I do yeah,” YN nods with a sincere furrow of her eyebrows. “But I have been feeling pressure for the majority of my career so I’m mostly used to it by now; It doesn't bother me as much anymore.”

2022:

“Of my fookin’ word,” She throws her head back. “I can’t even—like even the way I spoke, man. Can yeh hear that? Like, I was still in the mindset of having to change the way I talk, tweak me accent and act all prim and proper,” YN points a finger into her mouth as she sticks out her tongue.

“And what a lie. Like of course that pressure bothered me still! I was fresh into the hiatus, just dropped me first solo album, about to do a world tour by meself for the first time. I was dealin’ with so much that I remember the pressure of everything was just...it felt that I was gonna be squished into a pancake. Being in the band and being as big as we were, there was an immense amount of pressure for everything to keep going well; everything seemed like it had to get bigger and bigger and if I didn’t live up to that standard as a solo artist, it was the end of the world to me.”

“I do still feel some pressure but definitely not to that extent anymore. It’s more of like, a good pressure, I’d say. It keeps me from resting on me laurels and it makes me continue to work hard to improve meself. Like, just because I won an award for produce of the year doesn’t mean that m’gonna let it get to me head and just not work to better meself in that craft.

But I have to admit that a lot of that pressure has been lifted off of me from me fans. They’ve just continued to give me their unconditional love and support—whether it be for a year, 2 years, 12 years—m’just super grateful that they just allow me to be me, flaws and all.”

What did you eat today?

2020:

“I ate some grilled chicken—that I made all by myself—with a side of some beans,” YN giggles as she knows by now that the fans have been having a laugh about her boyfriend’s baked beans comment over interviews in quarantine.

2021:

“I had a chicken caesar salad bowl that I probably put way too much dressing on to be considered healthy anymore,” She chuckles, playing with the chunky chain sitting on her collarbones.

2022:

“I actually had an amazing chicken wrap this morning. Just the right amount of protein and yumminess,” She pats her tummy with a content smile. “Yeh girl likes chicken, what can I say?”

Are you aware of people when you're playing?

2019:

“I think so yeah. It’s crazy because for me, it’s scarier to play in front of 6 people than 60 thousand people. But on the other hand, the noisiness of big crowds is super calming to me. I can’t really explain how. Like right before m’gonna go on stage, I like to take out me ear-pieces and just listen to them scream...which now makes me sound like a serial killer of summ’wat,” YN’s shoulders bunch up to her ears as she giggles.

2022:

“I would say that m’more aware of the audience members now more than I ever have before. This current tour that m’on is probably the funnest tour so far and it’s really because of the fans. When m’on stage and when I’m performing, I make sure to look at the people in the audience, yeh know? Like, I can still remember when the band did our first stadium tour, I honestly couldn’t see anything; they were all just blurbed together.

But with this tour, I make sure to take the time during the show to talk with fans. And I make an effort to sing to them and look at them dancing in the pit, the outfits they recreate, the way some of them are just closing their eyes and just being in the moment. As a musician, to see people come to me show and to see how they create this environment where everyone can have fun and let loose and just have a good time is just super amazin’. It’s a really indescribable feeling.”

Are you more confident this year compared to last year?

2018:

“From last year to now? 100%,” She answers with ease, leaning back into her seat. “I think this is the most confident I’ve ever felt, I think. M’not too worried about what people are sayin’ about me because let’s face it, they are always saying something. So if yeh like me, cool. If yeh don’t, cool.”

2022:

“She’s not wrong. 2018 YN’s ego was pretty up there. Granted, me ego is still growing and sensitive so—” YN shamelessly shrugs and puts her hands up in defense. “—Take tha’ as you will. But I definitely feel more confident and secure in who I am as a person and as an artist. When the boys and I went our separate ways musically, I had a hard time sort of, figuring out what I like and the kind of music I wanted to make for meself. Even the way I thought about fashion, I knew people saw me in skirts and things like that but I remember entertaining the idea of if I wanted to continue that as a security blanket of sorts.

When I was in the band, I took things with a grain of salt and m’very happy that I’ve kept that with me.”

Biggest rumor about you?

2017:

“That I’ve slept with each of the 1D boys,” YN lets out a nervous laugh. “Which is gross because they’re all like my brothers.”

2018:

“Where do I even begin?” YN blows out a raspberry. “I’ve been gettin’ this one for literally years now but that m’dating my old bandmate, Harry—which is getting really old at this point,” She scrunches up her nose with a roll of her eyes.

2022:

YN bursts out laughing as she watches her old self answer, knowing full well that during that time period she was in the midst of her on-and-off relationship with Harry.

She tilts her head to the side with a quick raise of her eyebrows, “I mean, she’s not wrong. V’been getting that question/comment asked since we were on the XFactor. And believe it or not, I still get asked that question. I just answer it differently now,” She cheekily brings her shoulder to her chin.

What do you hate being asked?

2018:

“That. The ‘who are you dating?’ question. For a long time, I just had to suck it up and just answer the question but I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to, y’know? Also, I’m my own person,” She begins to list things off of her fingers, “I’m not someone’s arm candy, m’not so-and-so’s new girl. I’m YN YLN and if all you ask me is if I’m dating anyone rather than me music, you don’t deserve my time.”

2022:

YN drops her jaw and the corners of her lips tug up in a smile.

“A feisty little thing she is,” She chuckles. “But no truer words have ever escaped me mouth. She’s right, and I still stand by that. 100%. My career is not based around a guy or who m’dating. That’s not to say I hate talking about Harry—I love to talk about him but don’t make it the whole point of the interview, yeh know?”

Craziest fan moment?

2021:

“Me first show back on tour after being held back in 2020 was really heartwarming. It a stadium show—not intimidating at all for me first show back—” YN sarcastically comments. “—so there were three levels of seating: the pit, the middle section, and then the top. While I was singing, the audience did a fan project where on the top section held up lights to read welcome back, and then the middle said we missed you, and the pit held up pieces of paper saying we love you. M’not even gonna lie, I was bawlin’ me eyes out. Like, just thinking of the amount of work that went into that...” She shakes her head in disbelief.

2022:

“I did a show last week in LA and at the barricade, I saw this lineup of these 5 girls wearing my current and past tour outfits. I have seen some really good recreation of me fits before and it was honestly like a copy and paste, I was so shocked. After talking with them for a bit—now I don’t ever do this—but I invited them to come up on stage with me,” YN laughs.

“I suggested we ditch the choreography for Kiss Me More but they insisted they knew it and sure enough,” YN throws her hands with another laugh. “I almost hired them on the spot!”

Do you have a boyfriend?

2017:

“Um, no. I do not have a boyfriend. I’m just really focused on my music at the moment. That’s my boyfriend,” She lets out a chuckle.

2020:

YN playfully rolls her eyes and throws her hands up, “Well I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said no.”

She huffs out a giggle as she refers to the entire world finding out about her secret relationship with Harry on New Years Eve of that year.

2021:

“I do have a boyfriend,” She smirks at the camera with a shrug of her shoulder, leaving it at that.

2022:

YN takes a second longer to answer this question and stares at the laptop screen with a fond smile. She technically doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore, but will she let them know that? Nope.

“Well, you’d all be happy to know that Harry and I are still very much together. Still got that boy locked down, ladies,” She playfully winks at the camera with a click of her tongue.

What makes you happy in a relationship?

2022:

“I like quality time. From staying inside 24/7 in 2020 to easing back into my busy schedule made H and I realize that it was important to set some time aside for ourselves, just the two of us. Like, we don’t even have to be talking just as long as we’re together during the business of it all. And...” A smirk grows on her lips, “One of me love languages is physical touch. It definitely wasn't on the list before so you can probably guess who made me this way but yeah. And music, of course, that’s me main form of love language. Whether we’re listening to good music, making it, singing it—anything to do with it m‘in love.”

Describe your style in 3 words.

2017:

“Figuring it out.”

2018:

“No more skirts,” The 24-year-old rolls her eyes.

2019:

“Whatever is comfy,” She laughs as she wraps her light green cardigan tighter over herself.

2020:

“Trying new things.”

2021:

“Trousers and blazers.”

2022:

She tilts her head as she bites her lip, looking up as she thinks about how to compactly frame her style now. As she says the next three words, she holds up her hand to count it off on her fingers, “Pretty in pink. And 2018 YN was a lie. I still fancy a skirt every now and then.”

Biggest thing you’re struggling with?

2019:

“I think, just being honest with meself in terms of how I feel. I think I struggle a lot with allowing meself to feel the way I feel about certain things,” Or about a certain someone. “And that it's okay to feel those things. I know, super detailed,” She chuckles.

2022:

“Yeah, 2019 YN was certainly going through some personal issues. S’crazy to look back at these videos and remember wha’ I was feelin’ during that time. S’pretty crazy. I can say that v’grown immensely from that time of my life which is very comforting to know. It’s still hard for me, don’t get me wrong, but allowing myself to feel things like love or sadness or happiness is something that I’m subconsciously reminding myself to do.

I think the biggest thing that m’stuggling now with is to have check ins with meself. It’s safe to say that m’back to my busy, hectic, never-ending schedule so I want to take a breather every now and then. It can be a whole day, a whole 20 minutes, just a pause to check in with my mind, me body, me spirt to make sure m’okay and then be off to a career that I love very dearly.”

What advice would you give your future self?

2017:

“Have some fun and enjoy this new chapter that you’re venturing onto,” She nods with a smile.

2019:

“I would say to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Step out of your comfort zone and take that leap of faith.”

2022:

“What a genetic piece of advice for that first year, eh?” YN chuckles with a smirk, “Enjoy this new chapter you're venturing onto like yeh can hear how professional I wanted to sound,” She playfully rolls her eyes with a sigh. “I would say that 2019 YN’s advice is a good one though. It’s a good reminder to not play things safe all the time. As a narcissist, I want everything to be perfect, especially me music, so to be in the studio and not fall back to me old habits of what I think sounds good, try something different, yeh know? I like that a lot, actually.”

This is my mum...

2017:

“Everyone, say hello to Penny,” YN proudly presents as her stepmum comes up to her side, placing a hand on the back of her chair as she waves at the camera.

“‘Ello, lovelies,” Penny beams.

2018:

“Penny!” YN smiles brightly. When she wiggles her fingers towards her stepmum the sound of her rings clinking together can be heard.

When Penny walks up to her stepdaughter’s side, she puts her hands on top of YN’s red leather jacket to give her shoulders a squeeze.

“Hi baby,” Her stepmum gives a warm smile and gently presses her chin to YN’s temple.

2019:

Penny tucks her long, black hair behind her ears before wrapping her arms around her stepdaughter’s shoulders.

“I love you, my baby,” She says into her hair before planting a kiss on her head.

“I love youuu so much,” YN sings as she holds onto her stepmum’s forearms over her chest.

2020:

“Y’already know what time it is,” YN dances in her seat, her arms already extended out by her side. She lets out a laugh as she watches Penny shimmy her way to her stepdaughter’s side. The tight high waisted jeans show off her curvy, fit figure and a mask covers the lower half of her face.

“It’s Penny time,” Her stepmum throws finger guns at the camera.

2021:

“Come over ‘ere, mum,” YN nods her head over to Penny. Once she’s close enough, she takes a hold of her stepmum’s hand and pulls her over for her to sit on her lap, wrapping her arms over her torso, “Love you.”

“I love you more, baby,” Penny smiles as she leans her head back to rest beside YN’s.

2022:

“This is me mumma,” YN smiles warmly before cooing out a chuckle. “Wha’ happened?” She questions when she sees Penny walk over to her side with glossy eyes.

“Sorry, m’sorry,” She chuckles, dabbing her under eyes with the sides of her index fingers. “S’just really fookin’ cool to see how far you’ve come. Like look at her—” Penny points to the laptop screen that has 2017 YN on display. “—me lil’ baby.”

“Mum!” YN laughs when Penny wraps her arms around her daughter’s head and pulls it to her chest.

Taglist:

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the-thursday · 2 months

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Hello everyone, this post was long overdue, and finally, prompted by our beloved Howls also leaving, it's time for me to rip off the bandaid as well.

I would also like to announce a sort of departure from Ranger's apprentice fandom.

I do not know how many from RA fandom era from few years back are still here but I assume mostly newer blogs keep up with this account.

Take a lil history walk with me, if you will. I joined this fandom around 2017-18. I was very active around here, posting all kinds of stuff, fics, takes, incorrect quotes, art and whatnot. I made many friends with whom I had a great time and I am happy and honoured that I am friends with some of them till this day. Fandom became the second home to me as things hadn't been exactly easy irl and maybe I fixated on it too much, but gods know I loved this place so much. And I wish for everyone to experience this happiness and just as I made friends who became a significant part of my life, I wish that for you as well. Being surrounded by amazing and wonderful people and sharing similar interests is one of the most pure joyous feelings in this world.

As 2020-2021 rolled around, some of you know that things in my life picked up a harsh pace and I started to drift away. In 2021 I left the fandom because of that and unpleasant things with one of the people here. It was one of the most gut wrenching decisions I had made.

In 2022, I started gradually getting worse, but also had the courage to come back at the end of the year. I felt happy and welcomed and I am so grateful to everyone who made it happen, who supported me and gave me another breath. My mental health kept getting worse but I wasn't alone and that has been everything to me.

Now it's about a little more than a year since I've been back and again, I've met wonderful amazing people who I am happy and honoured to call friends. I don't regret coming back and I am happy I did, however I think it's time for me to go again. And below, I hope to explain why.

Like I said, I've been getting worse. Last autumn and this winter have been very difficult for me and I had to rethink some priorities, as life is going on the time left for me to invest in fandoms is getting thinner and thinner. Unfortunately, among them, isn't keeping up with this fandom. With my next words I hope not to insult anyone. The truth is, I don't find enjoyment in the fandom and content itself anymore, or more like, as much as I used to. I don't exactly vibe with posts for roughly the past half a year and I don't mean this in negative way, I just think it's for me to move on. All of the new people that I've seen have wonderful content and while I don't exactly vibe like I used to, I can see that you're having fun and that's important! People come and go and I do wish all the newcomers and seniors who are still here to have a great time, but I don't think I have energy, capacity and vibes to be part of it anymore. As you know, my blog has been very much inactive for a long time, aside from dumping my dumb sketches or reblogging something here and there. And rather than letting it rot, I'd like to cleanly move on. Anyhow, on self deprecating note, since really it's not like I've been someone prominent I don't think this is a loss to the fandom and this makes it easier for me.

So to summarise, my leaving is about personal things, my life moving and the fact I don't have the mental capacity or motivation to actively keep up.

So what does this mean? I won't be posting RA related stuff on this blog anymore. This blog will turn into a neutral main blog and I'll create one side blog for art that I hope to continue to make and maybe one blog dedicated to the work of Brandon Sanderson.

However, it doesn't mean that I am not up to goof around about RA anymore, however this will be done in DMs. If I sometimes get to draw and post RA related art, it shall be posted on my new art blog with RA tag. However, I don't think there's a high probability of public RA art from me anymore, because 1) need to move on and 2) I have a very strong and maybe confrontational opinion about art in this fandom that has given me a bad taste and discouraged me from enjoying making it and posting it. I won't go into details because I don't want to sour this post for myself and for y'all with it.

I want to thank this fandom for everything it has been for me and for everyone and I wish y'all some happy fandoming!

Yours only,

The Ranger Thursday 11

#rangers apprentice #final goodbye

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henrysglock · 2 months

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High Existence and ZeroSpace: The First Shadow and NINA May Be Massive, Immersive Drug Trips

The blurb in last Friday's video from TFS sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I found a lot of sites quoting The Alchemist about the universe conspiring to give you what you truly want (which is similar and it's probably what I was thinking of when this blurb registered as familiar), but I couldn't find this exact quote:

Well...not at first, anyway. I decided to stick every word I could make out here ^ into my search bar...and I found where the blurb comes from:

This blog post is quite literally the only source I could find for it, and the whole damn thing is directly lifted.

Right off the bat, the site fucking jump-scared me:

And it doesn't end there. Let's dive in, because this rabbit hole is a trip unto itself...no MDMA required.

1. The Fucking Website...#1 (HighExistence.com)

High Existence is a sort of drug-induced-spiritual-trip centered self-help site.

It's got blog posts and podcasts and all that jazz. Here are some of the highlights:

Wow! That was...a lot. A lot of words from the word show, too:

Wholeness, heroes, ancient aliens, prisons of politeness, and the fucking Shire, too, I guess. Why not?

(An Aside: I've included the VR in here too because of the sheer similarities between Henry's experience with the Shadow in VR, El's experience in NINA, and The First Shadow in general.)

Like fuck it, why not keep going, these posts date back to at least 2017:

And don't let me start in on that Creel boy and Faust...

[Jason voice] "[Eddie] made a deal with the devil and now he has his powers!" (Also we get it, one of them is neurotic and the other is psychotic. I've been saying this since like...forever)

Of course, all that insanity aside, the Russian base arc has just...an insane amount of ST4 and TFS stuff packed into it in general:

(And this isn't even all of it. I know others [cough] Stav Heroesbyler [cough] have covered it even more...but bro it is THERE)

But most importantly for the NINA arc:

Three things: Dialogue doubling (there's the one I showed, plus a) Robin yelling "Wipeout!" at Steve which has the pipeline -> "Wipeout!" at Rink-O-Mania -> 002-005 bullying El in a very similar manner and b) Steve's "that's amazing" line about the water fountain -> "This is amazing!" not only from Alice irt the Creel house but also from Mike irt Will's painting on their way to save El from NINA. Again, these are just a few of MANY instances), makeup doubling with the bloodshot eyes, and my beloved: set/prop doubling.

I love that beautiful framing on the nearly-identical square clocks. I have so much to say about that clock, but specifically:

The clocks being set 9 minutes apart, which happens to be the exact length of time from the end of Vecna's voiceover in 4.07 to the start of the fight sequence in 4.07 (aka the length of One's frozen-clock monologue).

Not only that, but the clock isn't even right. It says it's 3:55, but it's definitely not 3:55 AM (see: movie theater scene) but it's also not 3:55 PM:

(And why do we have a clock in an elevator anyway? That's the real question. That thang only exists to deliver subtext, baby! It exists to connect the two scenes further!)

Anyway, as you all likely noticed, this site mostly deals in psychedelics, stimulants, and empathogens.

link

Hell, you could even pull One's bit on the ecosystem into it, since he's describing connections between beings that are being disturbed/destroyed by humanity.

Anyway, the site tends to center specifically on DMT and MDMA...so let's talk about those:

MDMA & DMT An aside: Interesting to me that psychosis here can be counteracted with sedatives. Makes me wonder if whatever happened in 1979 could have been halted if they'd just tranq'd One. Hm.

First off: Did I read that right? Piggy-backing? Damn, son. 4.09, The Piggyback, is pictured in that paragraph. So is Brenner's candy bit with the children -> "candy flipping" vs LSD use in Brenner's lab.

Second: Ah, how nice. Intravenous/injectable. Just like how El is constantly being shot up with...something...to enter NINA.

Now, nearly all psychedelics can induce psychosis, but especially so if they're combined with other psychoactive substances and/or if the user has a history of psychosis (either themselves or in their family).

However, MDMA specifically has been posited as a treatment for PTSD and retrograde/traumagenic amnesia:

link Like...wow. Okay, I guess!

tl;dr: One seems to have been tripping fucking balls during the monologue. Literally every fucking version of him. El likely is as well. Funny how that works. Was any of that real? [smash cut to the way blood pours down the walls and the dead children dance around in the VR version of NINA] And either way, Henry in TFS isn't far behind with his hallucinogenic moments.

The connection? Whatever the hell is going on in Hawkins Labs...and symptoms of drug use.

I was not expecting to get this much out of a single rabbit hole. But...that's life with this show, isn't it? And this is only Part 1.

2. The Fucking Website...#2 (Futurism.com)

The guy who made that original post that TFS lifted the blurb from (Jordan Lejuwaan) runs a couple different websites. The most interesting one is Futurism, which is basically an online version of the Weekly Watcher:

It won't let me filter by date, but it seems to have been founded in 2017, stemming from an infographic subreddit. (Now, it says it's a trustworthy news source, and maybe it is, but... Do your own assessment of that. I'm not your mother, yknow?)

Jordan Lejuwaan was also involved in something far more interesting irt Stranger Things...

3. Zero Space

Jordan co-founded an immersive, interactive theater experience called ZeroSpace back in 2018. As we all know, TFS was just in the beginning phase of its creation around this time.

So...This was like a brick to the skull:

"Alice in Wonderland" (don't get me started: rabbit fuckery, DRUGS!!!!!, clocks/being later, Alice Creel, Fringe connections (Through The Looking Glass and What Walter Found There being the episode about the pocket universe where 20 years passed in 5 days...and also wherein we find out about him hiding away an Observer child that he will later time travel with to save the world from the Observer takeover...erasing himself from time/the timeline by doing so...there is SO much) not to mention the "one pill makes you larger/smaller" vs teen El and baby El...it's too much to try and fit in this post), "ALIENS AND LASERS", "stretch the perceived reality of the sense", "art, actors and your own mind converge to prompt MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS" (which was a common complaint about TFS: it leaves people with more questions than answers).

("See you on the other side" being an in-show line from Henry in the lab to Patty in the void, but this image is ripped directly from the same promo video that the High Existence blurb appears in.)

Here's a little taste of what ZeroSpace is like, but I suggest going to the actual page to see it in action:

It's heavily heavily reminiscent of TFS, even just in the content warnings...

Not to mention the actual show content SFX:

However, the goal of TFS isn't to stretch our senses. We're just watching. We are not the volunteer seeing the other side.

For most of the show, that person is Henry (except the first 5 mins, when it's Cptn. Brenner and his crew literally experiencing the other side). Henry is doing the experiencing. He's the one breaking the fourth wall by picking at/breaking the sets, the one running through the audience and leaving out the theater doors (only to end up right back on stage just like El in the Rainbow Room in 4.05).

With each bit of info I find out adjacent to the play, the more convinced I am that this is some secret third boy's experience in a NINA-like simulation.

Overall—

a) TFS most likely isn't wholly real, and it seems very likely that it's the same kind of simulation as NINA.

b) El was probably drugged up with some kind of empathogenic psychedelic going into NINA, likely with the goal of setting her up to form emotional connections quickly and deeply only to rip that deep connection away in order to bolster her abilities.

c) NINA is not, then, wholly based in truth. Parts of NINA (staring at the bullying from 002-005) may have been generated from El's memories of the outside world.

d) With NINA and TFS seeming so similar, I wouldn't be shocked if parts of it are just one massive empathogen trip (staring at how quickly Henry and Patty bond, similarly to how quickly Henry and El bond in NINA).

e) Whoever is in NINA with teen El is also tripping balls, most likely, and may have gone off the rails in that regard. However, that's in a simulation...hard to assign guilt or blame for things done in a fictional/unreal world.

f) Whoever was with baby El in 1979 may have been in a similar situation "moving chess pieces"-style instead. Read: drugged in order to put him in a situation where he would bolster El's latent abilities...and it went wrong (see also: Walter Bishop's orchestrated/fake massacre meant to bolster Olivia's latent abilities.)

g) Richard Brenner having been the head of narcotics makes me question which Brenner we're seeing at any given time: Martin, or Richard?

#st nina project #st: tfs #henry creel #el hopper #non-consensual drug use #medical malpractice #ZeroSpace #High Existence

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paintbrushnebula · 5 days

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I think now that Tangled the Series has been over for the better part of four years now, what makes me sad the most is that there were enough pieces left behind by the film to construct a compelling narrative for a strong continuation of Rapunzel and Eugene's story that wouldn't have required all this "bigger and more epic" stuff that the series made up in order to be interesting.

And you can have big epic magical stuff, that's fine! I LOVE epic large-scale stories! But there's a difference between expanding your world by further developing its elements and themes, and just scaling up the adventure tenfold to be “bigger and better”—which is what I feel that the series did in the end.

It’s funny, because I was already a fan of Tangled when I was little. I still remember being 7 years old sitting in that theater with my sister, actually breathless and in shock when Eugene drew his last breath. I had never seen a kids movie where a lead character dies.

(and I know that sounds absurd because there were Disney films before where a lead character dies and comes back XD look I was 7 and my parents weren’t people who knew many pop culture American movies at the time so I didn’t watch much that wasn’t Disney Channel or VHS films that my Grandma owned. To this day I’m still kind of trying to catch up on film culture XD)

Sorry to get off track but what I’m trying to say is, I was there when the series was announced and they revealed that promo art back in 2016, I saw the 30 second promo trailer, I watched “Wind in my Hair” when it was released on Youtube in February 2017 the morning before school and I was hyped for the rest of the day, and I remember watching Before Ever After’s premiere with my sister and was FLOORED that it was good??!! Like actually was gonna have a serialized overarching story and everything! God I’ll never forget Eugene’s verse where he pulls out that ring. I’ll never forget Rapunzel’s face when he gives her his proposal speech (before it went downhill that is), and I’ll always forget the last 25 minutes that take place after Rapunzel’s hair grows back because its low-key pretty heckin boring!

What hyped me was the relationship stuff, Rapunzel’s PTSD, the parent drama, everything that those first 30 minutes had that made me THINK we were in for an emotional story about Rapunzel’s life after the tower, I thought we’d get to see in detail how she’s gonna to grapple with her trauma, her new life, her new responsibilities, her new relationships, all that. And some of the series was that, a very small “some.” Not enough by any means for me lol

Because like, wouldn’t that have been a more interesting story to tell than the one we got? Ultimately Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure doesn’t feel like a continuation of Rapunzel’s story, it’s more like a Brand New Adventure that happens star Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert. I know that sounds weird and I might not be making much sense here but, did the story of a girl who stops a plague of darkness and fights a transdimensional demon blueberry ghost girl and has to reconcile with her “step-sister” HAVE to be about Rapunzel? Also like, just. NOTICE how that summation of the story of the series DOESNT involve Eugene in some way. You know. The hecking CO-LEAD of the film this series is based on.

And like, there was so much story to be told with Rapunzel and Eugene WITHOUT the blueberry Disney Junior-giving ghost girl, the poorly written heavily contrived step-sister conflict, AND the big plague of darkness nonsense. Rapunzel and Eugene are two VERY tragic individuals. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM, IOUHWO4Y2IBBU3FN3FI

I’ll admit that I was more attached to the series than I was to the movie while it was airing, and even for like 2 years after it was over. I was younger and more immature and the big stakes and fresh new characters and magical adventures captivated me more than the focused drama of the movie. But now that I’m older, I realize that I resonate more with Rapunzel in the movie. NOT in any concerning “do you need help?” Kind of ways, just that I find myself thinking the way she thought, since I’m now around the age she was in the movie. The way I think about my future, my self esteem etc. I relate to how she feels inexperienced and fresh in the world despite being a young adult, because she hasn’t done any of those “big things” yet. And you wonder “how am I gonna do those big things? When do they happen? Will I know what to do when they happen?” I get it, Rapunzel, I really do.

The series is kinda an afterthought to me now I guess. I still appreciate that it exists and I’m so happy it happened. In the beginning, it didn’t feel real when it was happening. Like a dream honestly. And like, Tangled the Series is literally 80% the reason I wanted to write fiction, so I’ll always be grateful for it.

But holy kriff is the movie so much better heeheeeeeeeeee

#brushneb says stuff #tangled #tangled the series #tangled rapunzel #rapunzel #eugene fitzherbert #tangled eugene #rapunzels tangled adventure #disney

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alexiavettel · 1 year

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chapter one

“The world was whole then, the sun and moon together as one”

pairing: charles leclerc x fem¡stroll!reader

word count: 2k+

warnings: asshole!charles, asshole!reader, some business stuff, shitty father, mentions of Jules (this one actually trigger me) eventual smut, use of Y/N and will be a miniserie

summary: Your father, Lawrence Stroll, and basically your boss have a good opportunity of linking Aston Martin with Ferrari’s stocks. But for that Binotto demanded that you, first driver of your dad’s formula one team, with your impeccable reputation start a fake relationship with the Ferrari’s golden boy Charles Leclerc. Which happens to have a not so good popularity, publicly cheating on with his ex girlfriend plenty of times and being a complete asshole with his ex teammate, Sebastian Vettel, who now is your teammate.

disclaimer: any photo used is not supposed to represent the reader, are all Pinterest pics that matches the context

(Y/n) Stroll POV:

No. I’m definitely not doing this.

“Dad no. I would rather die than pretending to be in love with that bastard!” I said after waiting for dad to finish telling me the worst thing I ever heard come out of his mouth.

“Sweetie I know it’s a shitty thing to ask for, but I need your help okay? You want to keep your seat in formula 1, don’t you kitten?”

“Yeah, of course I do!”

“You’re such a great driver and we worked really hard on your reputation, to keep it untouchable. I helped you a lot through your career and I hope you can help me now. Use your brain, sweetheart… Would be good for our business, our team, your career, everything!” Lawrence leans forward and put an arm around my shoulders, speaking in low volume.

“Can I just have a moment to at least think about it?” I shrugged finding a way out of his arm.

“Sure, just think wisely…” he reassured and leave me alone on his meeting room.

This isn’t the first time something like this happens, my father ALWAYS use his power over me. How he can easily take my seat away from me, take me out of the team and make my career a little bit harder than already is.

I’m not dumb, I know I deserve my seat. Obviously, I got into f1 rather faster than the others, because Stroll’s influence (and money) but I do deserve my seat. Ever since I got into the championships (F3, F2 and F1) I got the spotlight right in my face being the only woman on the grid only because “my daddy’s money”. But when I, as a rookie in Renault, got my first points only in the third race weekend getting a P8 everyone was looking at me a little bit different.

I had secretly received two emails showing interest on me: one from Mercedes to assume their second drivers seat in 2024 after Lewis supposed retirement and one from McLaren for 2023 after Daniel Ricciardo showing an interest to leave the constructor.

So yes, I do have a plan B. But I still need a seat to end this season. The best would be wait till the end of this year, and see what to do next. And what is dating the worst person that I ever met compared to the dream I have since I was 5.

The hate for Charles is old. More specifically since 2017 when we were teammates for prema for the Formula 2 championship. We didn’t like each other, almost everybody knew it because he made it very clear in all his interviews.

“(Y/n)! It’s lovely to see you again, congrats for the amazing win today! Even with today’s win Leclerc still a few points ahead of you in the championship, what you have to say about it?”

“Hm, thank you. Was it really an amazing race today, feeling good to have the opportunity to show myself a bit more this weekend. But yeah, I believe he’s these points ahead because Markelov crashed into me in Hungary and I lost engine last race”.

“But you both leading the championship it’s not good for prema?” The woman asked me while turning her head a little confused.

“Oh it is, but I would like to win the championship as much as Leclerc. It’s only a friendly competition between us” I just said smiling even tho my throat burned to say those words.

Charles Leclerc POV:

“Hi Charles awesome race, you did an amazing job today! But (Y/n) managed to overtake you in the very first laps, how do you fell about it?” Really? I haven’t noticed before…

“Well she’s a good driver but to be honest my car wasn’t feeling really great today so that’s probably one of the reasons she overtook me so easily” That’s true? No. Do I care? Also no.

“Okay, hm you surely want to win the championship but how you plan to do so with your teammate, and probably friend, chasing you only some points behind?”

“We are just teammates, okay? Not friends or anything. And I’m planning to give all of me in the next races and fight very bravery for the championship, no matter what is in the way” Or no matter who is in the way…

(Y/n) Stroll POV:

Was always like that… Me holding back my words and Leclerc almost writing in his forehead with a neon marker his hate towards me.

We grew up very far from each other, well until my dear dad decided to move to UK and we started karting together throughout Europe.

“But (Y/n) that was just a rivalry, don’t be dramatic” I heard that too many times. It’s not “just a rivalry” when your rival pushes you off the track making you brake some bones, or when he invents lies to your father yell at you in front of everyone before a tournament or worst when he treats your teammate like shit and still thinking that he is a god!

He is so damn stubborn and egocentric, he thinks he’s the best in everything. Paddle? Swimming? Skiing? Learning languages? (okay in this case he will never beat me and he knows it) Singing? Dancing? He thinks he nails it, even if he looks like a lizard doing everything.

But at driving… he always knew that I was at his level maybe even a little bit better than him. A competition to him, someone who didn’t get immediately on their knees in his first appearance, who his older brother always liked and especially someone who never cheer him up every time he wins.

But well it’s for my seat anyways so I texted my dad that I was up for it on my way home. If we really are going to do this it’s gotta be only after tomorrow, I’m really tired and with all this bullshit I’m even more.

•

“WITH HER?” I heard in the exact moment I walked into the conference room.

“Charles… It’s the deal. You alright signed” Lorenzo, his dear brother and manager, said to him. “I told you to read it before tho”

“Well I trust my team so I didn’t think they would do such a shitty thing like this”

“Shut up Leclerc you think I’m happy about it?” I said while going to a hug with Lorenzo “How you still have patience after all this time Lo?”

“Too many years, hun”

“Kitten, Binotto is already on his way. Why don’t you have a sit?” my father said and Charles held his laugh at the nickname so I discretely fixed my hair with my middle finger.

“Good morning guys, pleasure to see you all here today” the old man’s voice with a thick italian accent which could be recognised everywhere in the paddock entered the room.

“Binotto what the actual-“

“Sir can you please explain to Charles why this deal was created” Lorenzo interrupted his brother almost immediately.

“Exactly because of that… Your brother is a amazing driver but too hot headed, don’t know when to say the things, when to lie and etc. But with (Y/n) it’s different since everybody loves her, the media specifically which is the most important…”

“So it would be good to the both sides if you guys faked a relationship! Our companies somehow together, and your reputation so much better!” dad completed for the Ferrari’s team principal.

Watching Leclerc slowly and visibly dying inside can enter the list of favorite moments right now.

“Can we speak about it alone?” Charles said after almost a entire minute in silence.

“A-Ah sure” this caught everyone surprised.

“If you’re okay with that (Y/n)…” Lorenzo said getting up.

“Sure…” you will not surprise me Leclerc, I know you very well. He probably just gonna try to persuade me to forget about this as his last hope.

“Why’d you accept it?” was the first thing he said after everybody left.

“It’s good for the company” keep it short (Y/n).

“How your old man convinced you?”

“Doesn’t matter, but you know what does? We already accept and signed it and you are not going to change my mind”

“You must be really desperate to date me then huh?”

“You must be really desperate to save your shitty reputation to sign a contract without reading at least two lines of it”

“You don’t know shit about it!” Okay, there it is…

Stage one of mad Leclerc: starting to get pissed off.

“Ow don’t I? Your team accepted the very first offer they received to try to get your reputation better, even if that meant a partnership with a smaller company and basically selling you! Just because you can’t keep your shits down and keep losing sponsors” I am fucking good about getting him mad.

“You might be right about it but you accepting it just can mean one thing: you’re obsessed with me and this is the only chance you have to get at least a little closer to me or your family company it’s broking”

Stage two: teasing Leclerc (my least favourite).

“You have such a big head and still with a small brain! Maybe have crossed your mind that these are neither of my reasons?”

“So why you don’t tell me? It’s not like you having to choose this deal is my fault”

Stage three: trying to gaslighting.

“It’s not your fucking business”

“Always so foul-mouthed for what? For keeping everything that happens inside of yourself to anyone have any possibility of truly liking you?”

Stage four: pretend to be my therapist but just insults me.

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I just don’t like you and want you the farthest way possible of me? So that’s might be the reason I don’t tell you anything?”

“Oh shut up you’re just so stubborn and a fumier and a folle and stupide you think you’re the best even if you’re just an afraid little girl” if I didn’t know him for such a long time I wouldn’t understand what he is talking about because of the strong accent.

Stage five: multiple languages, strong accent and pouting like a kid.

“You’re over?” God he makes me sick… “Guys you can come in” I open the door and say a little louder so they can hear from the waiting room.

“So the deal still up?” My dad asked a little taken back.

“Sure” we said in unison.

“Nice! Since you both already signed the contract your respective pr managers already know about it. Now you guys just have be civil, determine rules between you two but remember: you NEED to look like a real couple and keep this deal down, the least amount of people knowing the better”

Welcome to hell.

•

“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DEREK?” I screamed at my pt while running on the treadmill.

“Okay, so your dad got mad with you because you let Leclerc scream at you? How does that make sense?”

“It doesn’t! That’s the whole point! I’m so tired of his shit…”

“Take it easy it just needs to last to the end of this year, you can do it!”

“The season didn’t even started yet! Basically one year of this bullshit”

“Well, at least you got summer break…”

“I might have a break from my dad but not Leclerc. Or do you thing girlfriend and boyfriend, ew, spend their summers away from each other!”

“Yeah, you’re fucked” he tried to smile sympathetically.

“God I wish someday I’ll be just like you mate, married to an incredibly hot woman and got a cute little son running around and working for a amazing person”

“You were being too cute to be true… How do you manage to pass through a door with that big ego my girl? Don’t know how I still work for you”

“I pay well plus you love me” I said smiling after drinking water.

“Yeah you’re right-“

“WAIT YOU FINALLY SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’”

“No I didn’t-“

“In a weird way but you did, admit it!”

•

“We need to set some rules if we are actually doing this shit” I said seating before Charles disgusting Leclerc.

“You are calling our relationship ’shit’? This is it! I wanna break up”

“Stop being dramatic” this was actually funny what the hell?

“Just joking sweetheart”

“First we need to know what to call each other. I hate princess and kitty”

“Ew why would someone call their girl kitty? That’s not a weird name for pussy?”

“That’s one of the reasons I hate it”

“Unlike some people I love to be called by prince or king” he said moving back an imaginary long hair.

“I’m definitely not doing this” I might actually throw up. “Just say what you hate and I’ll try to avoid”

“Nothing particular maybe just mon loup. It makes me feel like I’m Toto Wolff”

“Okay the backstory Lorenzo and Liv (my pr manager) already created-“

“Wait they did?” He interrupted me.

“Yeah it’s basically our normal story, how we met and our ‘little fights’ all the same shit. The only thing it changed is that we fell in love with each other during the winter break”

“So it’s kind true isn’t it? You fell in love with me during the winter break but that was in 2016”

“Can you just shut down your ego for two seconds, please? We both know that would never happen”

“Yeah sure keep lying to yourself babe”

“Second rule: nothing of unnecessary PDA. Third: don’t get our careers involved”

“It’s exactly because of our careers we are in this situation-”

“I mean whatever comes out of this deal should not affect our careers.

Forth: don’t get yourself in trouble! We receive a lot of shitty questions and your dumb brain answers all of them the way the media want to just ruin you. You’re not doing this, not when we are ‘dating’, you heard me?”

“So what? Are you going to control me?”

“I intend to. We gonna do a plenty of press together so I will interrupt you every time I think it’s necessary”

“Fifth: not seeing other people while we are doing this…” okay that caught me off guard.

“Well you are the not so loyal one-“

“I didn’t cheated!”

“Ow so half the globe is blind and dumb?”

“WE WEREN’T DATING! When the photos came out we already had broken up for about 3 months”

“Yeah sure I don’t want to know the details of your love life. I just don’t wanna look like a dumb trophy girlfriend of a cheater. Sixth: you are not speaking shit to or about my teammate and my friends, my family is allowed but that just work for my father”

“You say like your dear teammate doesn’t know why we discussed so much… But okay. So that’s it? Can I go now?”

“Sure you can but don’t forget we have a ‘date’ tomorrow night” god that sounds so wrong and so gross at the same time.

⇨⇨⇨ next part

#f1 imagine #formula 1 #charles leclerc #f1 #formula uno #formula racing #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #ferrari f1 #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x you

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mexicanarama · 2 years

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tell us abt the fork incident please

i did not expect anyone to actually ask, but of course! similar sentiments and thanks to the anon who asked as well!

it is 2016. It is the autumn of my final year of university, and i live in a house with three of my best friends in the world, and Ricky (not his real name). ricky is a friend of a friend but we all try to make him feel welcome when he moves in. I like ricky well enough. time passes and we all spend less and less time with ricky, which happens. we’re all busy, and he starts hanging out mostly in his room. all fine. ricky had his own troubles and hopes and dreams, much like us. He didn’t really cause any trouble, in the grand scheme of things. but he had. a habit.

ricky would take stuff out of the kitchen and into his room, and then he would leave it there. the things he took were from our communal kitchen, and when we needed them, they usually weren’t there. you would have to knock on his door and ask for the cutting board, or the big bowl, or your own goddamned mug back, which he would consistently pretend not to have, i assume more out of embarrassment than spite. you could in fact get your things back, with persistence. most. of. the time.

the only things we could not recover were forks. a little after christmas, i realized we were running low. keep in mind, there were five actual residents of this house, and three of us had partners who basically lived there too. that’s eight people, and simply not enough forks to go around. I bought ten more forks without thinking too hard about it.

around easter, the second time we started to get dangerously low on forks, it became a curiosity, still mostly funny, as we wondered why ricky was taking them, what was actually happening to them, and why they were completely unrecoverable. we had three forks total when my parter at the time bought us fifteen more as a bit. we laughed. we wondered. we had cutlery again.

two months later, may 2017. we only have three forks, AGAIN, and this time i have had enough. the kitchen is my responsibility, i keep it clean, and full of baked goods, and i refuse to spend my money on MORE FORKS three months before we move out, because ricky is, i don’t know. eating them, or something. i do not buy more forks. i let us get down to one single, solitary fork.

and here, we are at an impasse. if ricky takes the last fork, i assume he knows we will all collectively lose it and put him on trial, in the group chat and also in our physical parlor. he can’t abduct that last coveted fork, and i can’t buy more. so we. live. like. that.

for two months, eight adults shared one fork breakfast lunch and dinner. i would be cooking, and have to run upstairs to ask my friend if he was done with ‘the fork’. people would come over for fresh baked pie, and i would happily tell them, let me get you ‘the fork’! “The fork?” they would say. “Yes!”

Eventually my roommate's girlfriend caved and started stealing plastic cutlery from the dining hall, so for the last few weeks we all lived together the situation was marginally improved. but we did in fact leave that house about thirty forks emptier than we found it, that august.

in that time, things deteriorated in other ways between us and ricky (he voted tory in the snap election), so i actually hadn’t seen him for a while by the time i moved out, a few weeks before he did. good BYE and godspeed you son of a bitch, you loved forks.

#storytime

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lewisinho · 1 month

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as the anon that asked for the race list: thank you!

now this is totally up to you if you have the time to spend on this, but this is my first year watching the races, and while I've been doing some background research to get up to speed, there is still a lot i don't know. i trust your judgment so what are some races and/or f1 adjacent things i should look into? i'm going through your McLaren list and have watched the last 4 seasons of dts and the brawn documentary. are there any other books/ documentaries/ races (especially seb's) / old youtube videos that are lost in the void that i should also check out?

again no pressure and thank you!

no problem!

(and btw welcome to f1 and the world of watching some glorified hot wheels every other sunday 😁 it’s great!)

i completely get how daunting it can be as a new fan in the sport. when i was getting back into f1 it also took me some time to get back up to speed with everything, especially all the techy stuff; i honestly learned the most through just watching the races (old and new), bc you get to see all the strategies play out, the pit-stops, the overtakes etc. and the terminology just becomes much easier to understand through sheer exposure. there are also some really cool f1 data analysis blogs you might want to follow on twt/x if you want some more detailed tech analysis and graphs if you’re into that sort of thing: (x)

as for seb, oh there’s a whole arsenal of recs i have!

monza 2008, rise of torro rosso wunderkind; i presume you already know the lore with that one but ig you can never get tired of it.

abu dhabi 2010, world championship no.1 “du bist weltmeister!”

interlagos 2012, the infamous one. this one’s a rollercoaster, chaos everywhere and the manifestation of murphy’s law: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. amidst a title battle against nando, seb was fighting the weather, bruno senna’s front wing, a damaged side-pod, no radio, and somehow managed to claim p6 to win the championship

malaysia 2013, multi-21 (iconique), he was faster, deal with it. 💅

singapore 2013, domination masterclass from quali to the race. (also just all of his singapore wins...lion of singapore and all that)

india 2013, title no.3 secured, changed tyres on lap 2 and came out p17, was third by only lap 13 and then won the race by nearly 30 seconds. it was also his sixth win in a row. he went on to win three more. speaks for itself. also this:

malaysia 2015, first win with ferrari, can't forget that one, also features sewis’ gay knee-touching on the podium.

germany 2019, CHAOS, in which merc got bewitched by the special livery curse 😅, with crashes, spins, 50-second long pit stops, and also features one of seb’s best drives from p20 -> p2

i also highly recommend watching Floz's fan-made docus on youtube about 'the silver war' (there are also docus for the 2014 and 2015 seasons) as well as the merc v ferrari (lewis vs seb) 2017 fight and 'fight for five' in 2018, they're so much better than dts and actually give a full run-down of what happened during the season, with all the action on-track, with interviews and providing all the context! it's so well-edited as well (you literally feel like you're watching a movie about all of the seasons) and they are just incredibly fun to watch.

in general, i love rewatching races from 2017/18 (literally my comfort seasons), personal favs include spain 2017 (strategy galore and lewis v seb), baku 2017 (for obv reasons), austin 2017; and basically the 2018 season in its entirety...

as for books, there are many driver autobiographies e.g. jb (he’s even got two lmao), mark webbah etc. but i think the best f1 book out there is adrian newey’s memoir ‘how to build a car’ if you want lore + great insight into cars!

i’d also recommend watching some older races (i could do a separate post on which ones are my personal favs) but it’s all up to you in the end! go digging, look around on yt for some highlights and just keep exploring! 🫶💜

#hope this helps!!#sebastian vettel #asks #anon

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pain-in-the-butler · 11 months

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you said you've been a kuro fan since 2009, I have to know what got you into the series and what has made you stay with it for so long?

what about the fandom did you enjoy back in the old days?

Ahahaha, oh wow, these questions feel loaded. Thank you for asking them, though, I haven't fully considered them before...

I'll start with the second question, because it's easier to answer. What did I enjoy about the fandom in the old days? I didn't enjoy the fandom in the old days! Not on the whole, at least. I was just on the outskirts of it, more observer than participant. I wrote fanfiction, but most people didn't read it because it wasn't romantic. The memes weren't funny, the shipping wars were insane, and SebaCiel was completely unavoidable. The current fandom is way better than the old one! (I'm sure there were cool people around back then too, but I didn't go looking for them because I didn't think they existed.)

I kind of started dipping my toes in the fandom water in 2012 in the midst of the Campania arc. But even then, by 2014 I felt a little meh from all the cricket and I varied in my interest during Green Witch, so I really didn't participate much until around 2017. The Blue Cult stuff had me bored, but then when things started ramping up towards the twin reveal, I was back in the game. Or rather, in the game for the first time. The explosion of actual good memes had me hook, line, and sinker.

Now for your first question. My initial exposure to Kuroshitsuji was season 1 of the anime. It had wrapped in Japan less than a year ago, and my sister told me that she sort of liked it after seeing the first few episodes at our high school's anime club. She gave me a brief rundown of the premise and I guess the seventeen-year-old me was interested because I went to anime club for the first and last time next week. It was the episode with the corset scene and I was appalled. I was also appalled by my peers, because the teacher hadn't shown up that day to moderate, so a lot of kids were making out and drawing on each others' bodies with sharpies, and the few people watching the episode were wolf-whistling and clapping. It was a lot for a dweeby little goodie-two-shoes to take in.

But for some reason I persevered and watched the rest of the series on my own time. The first episode also appalled me. I think the whole show did. I don't really know why I watched it, other than perhaps a fascination with historical anime, but I definitely found Sebastian and Ciel worthy of parody, because a few months later, I was writing fanfiction about them. In high school, I wrote solely humor fanfics, and they were always about Sebastian and Ciel trying to make each other's lives worse through japes and antics.

Then in early college, I started reading the manga when I caught wind of Sebastian being "dead" and thought that sounded like an interesting development. I gave the earlier chapters a try and shocker, it was so much better than the anime (though I skipped the curry arc for some reason, only read it for the first time like a year ago). Then I got to the Circus arc scene where Sebastian has to help Ciel with his eyepatch strings and I felt the epiphany grow. Dadbastian is love, Dadbastian is life, etc. It was hard not to feel like a one-man army at the time, but a handful of others enjoyed the concept too.

And then the Campania arc happened and I was absolutely gobsmacked by how good it was. I will never forget what it was like to be there for the badass Lizzie reveal. That day, anime and manga fansites and subgroups across the net were all united in Lizzie love. It was so real 🥹😭

Moments like that kept me going, as well as a hope for small Dadbastian-esque moments and the promise of more Victorian flair. Over time, I've only gained more appreciation for the side characters and the themes, and I love the current fandom to pieces, so even though the story is slow, I'm more invested than ever.

I'm sorry that was such a damn essay, thank you for your interest in my little Kuro journey! 😊 I hope you are enjoying fandom life too!

#ask

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monstersinthecosmos · 9 months

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KACY

I know we've talked about it before but never in depth really so I wanna know -- I think at least for me there's THOSE TWO BIG MOMENTS right:

the one where we instantly and impossibly imprinted on our VC faves like lost little ducklings

and then whatever followed that cemented that love for all eternity like- "oh yeah this is it, I don't even need to see or talk to anyone else, we're good"

so what were your Marius Moments? 🥹

!!!!! oh wow what a question!

I know for sure without a doubt that when Marius DEBUTS in TVL is when I was DONE FOR. Like the slow burn leading up to it with Lestat trying to find him and then when he finally shows up he's this like nurturing, comforting force that is so gentle with him!!!!!!!!

Like idk how everyone else feels but my first time reading VC I was just going in cold, like there was fandom on LJ and stuff but I wasn't really lurking (bc spoilers lol) so I was just going into each book completely fresh and ready for an adventure, so I remember feeling like TVL was this MYSTERY to me the first time and I was just so excited to even see what it was about. But TVL (even to this day) really takes off for me when Armand shows up and then like, Armand already intrigued me so much and I was like WHAT WHO * MADE * THIS GUY OH MY GOD and I was just mega excited to meet him.

And as for the second question, I'm not sure I really have an answer! Coming out of TVL he was my favorite character so any time he showed up I was so excited to see him. Again, to this day I think I kinda rank my enjoyment of the VCs depending how much Marius is in them. 😂 But when I first read VC, Merrick was the most current book and it took me a couple years to read and catch up (with the Mayfair detour bc Merrick was supposed to be a crossover lol) so B&G was my first VC that I got to like go out and buy when it came out and it was like THE NEW BOOK MORE VAMPIRES! And just wow like how exciting that I caught up in time for a WHOLE BOOK about my fav. 🥹🥹🥹

But reading B&G maybe cemented it? tbh it was such a long time ago it's hard to say. It's just kinda always been there. Like this all happened when I was 12-13 and it was my first like deep dive into adult books and like coming from reading kids's series and YA it was so weighty to me and gave me so much to think about. But like I vivdly remember the first time I read B&G I was in my room and I kept putting it down to cry because it made me so emotional. Like getting to really get that deep dive into his POV and understand how lonely he was and how conflicted he was about his beliefs.

As a 13 year old I think I connected to it with my own point of reference that's evolved over the years; I revisit the entire series every few years and get different things out of it each time, not just from getting older but also just being more educated as time goes on. And sometimes I wonder if he'd be my fav if I read it for the first time at 25, or even if I'd been born at a different time; like would I have felt the same way if I was 13 but it was 2017 and Tumblr was in full swing with radfem rheotric poisoning the well? idk. But I do know that every time I feel the same way, I still love him just as much, even when I pick apart more flaws I just appreciate this character so deeply.

Like yknow to read VC as a 13 year old who is severely bullied you connect with it as being about "outsiders". The year B&G came out a bully put me in the hospital by bashing my head open on a locker. Teachers at my school thought I was going to be a school shooter because I was goth and I liked horror films. So it's comforting to see someone who is an outsider and struggles with Christofascism but who is surviving. And reading B&G and hearing how much he struggled was so like grounding for me. I'm not sure I can explain it now without it sounding trite (and maybe it was trite bc I was 13). And like him being a savior & mentor to Lestat was so comforting to me like I think at that age my biggest fantasy was that a vampire could come steal me away from my difficult life LOL. I wanted someone to come save me!!!!!!!!!

And then you know, growing up, being in an abusive relationship, having people around me die, trying to understand how I identify as queer, how I navigate my relationship to my own creativity and what it means to me, growing as a person and trying to be the most mindful and empathetic version of myself that I can be; all of this stuff is all over VC and in that book in particular.

It just means a lot to me man!

And I love that VC asks us to empathize with bad people, it asks us to forgive people, it asks us if we're are only our worst deed and if we deserve love even when we've fucked up. Lestat and Marius have so much in common so I think these themes just permeate both of their stories so much in every book, but. Idk for whatever reason Marius is the one that stuck out to me and I've never been able to shake it!!!!!

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booksandabeer · 1 year

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Hi. First of all, you’re amazing and you’re doing God’s work for us. Second, could you please recommend me some time-travel fics? I think I already read a few well known ones, and was wondering if there’s more? Also, it’s usually both or Bucky who time-travels, is there fics where Steve goes alone instead?

Hello Stranger!

Thanks for the ask and your very kind words. I live to serve! 😉

Now. The first thing I need to do here, is to point you towards this excellent rec list by @voylitscope There are a lot of very good fics on it and I strongly recommend you check it out.

I also want to apologize again for the long wait. I had a busy week and when I finally sat down to put together this list, I realized fairly quickly that almost 90% of it was comprised of some sort of EG-Fix-It fics. Just the idea of writing up my thoughts on all of them felt exhausting and saddening to me, so I scrapped the whole thing and started over. So without further ado, here are 7 fics featuring timey-wimey stuff that I have read and very much enjoyed and 3 more that I've yet to read, but can't wait to get to because they look amazing:

sun peeking through the sky series by dontcallmebree | M, 16K (2 Parts)

Author's summary: Steve clears his throat, curling his hands into fists to hide them. “Alright, say I believe you. Hell, you’re here. So what?”

Scott pins him with an unshakable stare, alive and unyielding. He never realized Scott could be so intense. Sam was the one who knew Scott better, but then again, Sam was always the better one of the two of them. “Look, the place I was in—the quantum realm—it messes with time, it lets you go back.”

Steve wants to throw him out.

A post-IW, twice-over canon divergent series. In the first part, Scott and the Ant Fam (or what's left of it post-Snap) burst into a heavily depressed Steve's existence and slowly turn it into something resembling a life again, and together they hatch a plan to save the world. What that plan entails? I'm not going to spoil it here, but let's just say it's much more clever and original, not to mention more logical and emotionally satisfying than anything that happened in EG. It's a quietly humorous, suspenseful, heartbreaking, and at times brutally tender series about finding and accepting second chances when you least expect them.

To Live It Again Is Past All Endeavor by trinityofone | T, 21 K

Author's summary: Time travel bodyswap! Present-day Steve and Bucky wake up back in their old bodies in 1938, while past Steve and Bucky wake in a future where they're both built like comic book heroes and Bucky's got what he thinks is a swell future robot arm. Adventures are had, and the ethics of time travel are debated. Also, everyone trash talks Willem de Kooning.

A story that really drives home some hard emotional truths while never entirely losing its light touch. Accompany Steve and Bucky as they travel into the future AND the past, and discover their once and future selves. I call this fic "the clairvoyant one" because it features Steve and Bucky contemplating staying in the past and a subsequent discussion of the ethics and purpose of time travel that had me frantically scroll back up and check that, yes, this fic was indeed written all the way back in 2014. I then proceeded to lose my mind a little bit because it is such an eerily specific and accurate rebuttal to Steve's EG ending that I'm more than half convinced the author has clairvoyant abilities.

Where All Roads Lead by DrowningByDegrees | E, 46K

Author's summary: When Steve Rogers inadvertently touches a relic in the course of a mission gone sideways during WWII, he’s catapulted seventy years into the future. Before he's even sure where he's ended up, his search for help puts him in contact with Bucky Barnes, a historian and college professor who has built a career around studying Captain America. With Bucky's help, Steve means to find out how exactly he ended up in 2017, and solve the bigger mystery of how to get home. There's just one problem. The closer they get to their goal, the less certain Steve is that he wants to go home.

A Shrunkyclunks AU where Steve accidentally time travels straight from WW2 to the 21st Century. It's funny and heartbreaking, well-written and cleverly plotted. Also features beautiful art by alby_mangroves that not only beautifully augments the story, but actually is a part of it, too.

The Restoration Artist by superheroresin | E, 109K

Author's summary: As a conservator of rare oil paintings for The Met, Steve Rogers thinks of himself part scientist, part archaeologist, but hardly an artist in his own right. Only when he’s faced with the daunting task of restoring a frozen painting from a recently unearthed Nazi art hoard does he start to feel his passion for the craft return. Before he has a chance to understand what that means, Steve is transported to the 1940’s, where he meets both The Winter Soldier himself, and his own destiny.

A Shrinkyclinks AU in which art conservator Steve travels through time to save Bucky... who has been trapped in a painting...? Mystery! Romance! Art Talk! I practically inhaled this thing in one go, despite the length. This is a really lovely story, full of clever ideas and twist and turns that will keep you guessing. And on top of that you'll learn a whole lot about art restoration! What's not to love?

the world on fire by burlesquecomposer | M, 62K

Author’s summary: Steve loves old vinyl records, doodles on his files, and cannot remember a time that he didn't serve the TVA. And that suits him just fine—that is, until stray variant Bucky Barnes, fresh out of HYDRA's grasp, drops into his time theater and makes Steve question everything he believes in.

A really well written fic that has time travel and variants and alternate timelines and parallel universes and... you get it. A whole lot of timey wimey stuff, but the author keeps track of it all and ties up everything beautifully in the end. A super fun premise, clever plotting, wonderful characterizations, and a firm grasp on the SteveBucky dynamic in every incarnation/iteration/variation. It's a really lovely fic and I think it deserves a lot more love and attention.

On the Cover of Dawn by adeepeningdig | T, 6K

Author's summary: “Listen,” Bucky says again, and pads to Steve, book still in hand. “I’d sell my soul for that/fawn/of a boy night walker/to sound of the ‘ud & flute playing/who saw the glass in my hand said/“drink the wine from between my lips.” He kisses Steve then, insistent, tongue sweeping into his mouth, body to body. Steve buckles beneath it. Two stories. One poem.

I'm cheating a little with this one... maybe. To be perfectly honest, I don't really know what's going on here even after I read this several times. Is it time travel? An alternate universe? Reincarnation? None of it at all? The thing is, I'm not sure the reader is meant to definitively know or understand what exactly is happening, and ultimately, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is the poignancy, the beautiful, at times lyrical language, and the reassurance that Steve and Bucky will find and love each other in every possible universe and incarnation. Also features one of my favorite George Barnes scenes ever.

From Tralfamadore, With Love by newsbypostcard | E, 106K | Part 1 in From Tralfamadore series

Author's summary: In 2018, Steve, Sam, and Bucky embark on a mission to explore a Hydra-owned warehouse when a kid with mutant powers sends Steve 18 years into the future. Steve's just as in love with Bucky as he was when he left, but for Bucky it's been a long 18 years. As he gets used to life in 2036 and the flaws in Bucky's idyllic life expose themselves, Steve also has to manage a suspiciously ubiquitous security force, a Brotherhood of Mutants, and old competing loyalties among his aged friends. There's a Bucky in 2018 waiting for him to come home, but if he does that, it means leaving this Bucky behind for a third, unforgivable time. How can he choose?

Yes yes, I recced this not too long ago, I know. But there is simply no way in hell that I'm going to put together a time travel rec list and NOT include this fic. The summary is pretty self-explanatory, and I really don't want to reveal anymore than that. Much of the tension and emotional drama in this fic comes from not knowing what's going to happen, and from desperately guessing at how on earth the author is going to solve Steve's impossible dilemma. I loved the way the author explored the relationship of a Steve and a Bucky who have been separated for two seconds and 18 years, respectively. Also, possibly the best use of a Fleetwood Mac song in fanfic ever.

🕰 +3 To Reads:

Savage God by PottersPink | M, 36K

Author's summary: Past, present, future, Steve knows Bucky Barnes. It’s why he recognized him when he found him in that alley in April of 1942, even though Bucky was older, stronger, wearier; he called himself The Asset, and had a metal fucking arm. The Asset was only with Steve in 1942 for a few days, but it’s enough to change the course of Steve’s life forever.

Seventy years later, Steve wakes up in the twenty-first century, and he doesn’t know whether to be heartbroken or hopeful when some of the things Bucky revealed to him in 1942 start falling into place.

Every You, Every Me by Starshot | E, 48K

Author's summary: Desperate to follow when Bucky ships out to war in 1943, Steve volunteers for Project Rebirth, an experimental program meant to turn him into the world’s first super-soldier. Instead it fails, leaving him with a condition dubbed “Chrono-Impairment” which sees him travelling uncontrollably through time, to random points in both his and Bucky’s lives.

But with Bucky brainwashed into working for HYDRA, and Steve living life on the run, torn between his own time and Bucky’s, will they ever find the happy ending they so desperately desire? (AKA the Stucky AU based on the book, "The Time Traveler’s Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger)

a day in the life by powerfulowl (StuckyFlangst) E, 20K

Author's summary: Steve wakes to the sound of someone moving about in the kitchen below him. He lies for a few moments, trying to recall—a dream?

He looks over at the nightstand and there is a piece of card propped up there. He reaches out to take it.

You are Captain America. You are Steve Rogers. It is 1956. You are married to Peggy Rogers, nee Carter. You live in New Jersey. Sometimes you have trouble remembering.

Steve Rogers wakes up on Tuesday October 30 1956, and doesn't seem to remember his life that well. Why does every day feel so familiar? And why does he keep getting visited by tall, dark, handsome men who remind him of Bucky?

____________

You can always send more asks for fic recs if you want. I love inflicting my taste on everybody else!

#stucky #stucky fic recs #stevebucky fic recs #stucky fic rec #stevebucky fic rec #steve x bucky fic recs #steve x bucky fic rec #rec list #fic rec #stevebucky #steve x bucky #asks #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #my recs

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lothcatthree · 7 months

Text

Fic Writer 20 Questions

thank you for tagging me @forloveofcodywan (i've been wanting to do this one for a while)

under the cut so i don't plague your dash

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (i used to have >30 but i orphaned half of them bc i wrote them when i was 14 and nobody needs to see that)

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

162,724

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

star wars all day babey. i dabbled in steve x bucky from 2017-2018 ish, but star wars has had my brain in a vice grip since 2015 (i was another victim to the sequels causing a sw renaissance).

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

the right feeling - from my finnpoe days :') this is part 1 of a soulmate au series. this one has 4.7k words.

i think i was blind before i met you - steve x bucky (damn we're going way back, this is 7 years old) modern au with barista steve and college student disaster bucky. 15k words.

please stay for awhile now - finnpoe, again for the win. this is part 2 of the soulmate au series. 5.6k words.

we should just kiss like real people do - finnpoe. this is the fourth and final part of the soulmate au series. hurt/comfort, recovery, all the good stuff. 8.2k words. (i suppose we all needed the soulmate finnpoe fluff in 2016, judging by these stats).

but through it all, i will need you anyways - current codywan WIP!! fix-it fic with just an insane amount of disgustingly tooth-rotting fluff. no clone death, just good feelings. this has been ENTIRELY self-indulgent and i started it when i got initial codywan brain rot. 64k words and counting!

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh my god yes, i love comments and it puts the biggest smile on my face knowing that people took time out of their day to write something nice for my little ramblings :')

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

jesus, literally none of them. i have to do happy endings, i'm too fragile. closest would be i hate you, fuck you, please never stop looking at me which is wolfwren PWP, except they still kinda hate each other at the end. (this barely counts because i am writing a follow-up that explores more of their feelings for each other and has a happy ending)

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ALL OF THEM. idk what to tell you. probably the cheesiest ending is the dinluke modern soulmate au i just wrote - how did i ever live without you?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god. i keep things pretty vanilla and i tag very thoroughly to do my best to avoid any hurt feelings. (also i've just simply been lucky to never experience that)

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

oh fuck yeah. 2/3 of my fics are explicit. mostly m/m, one f/f and two m/m/m. we have fun over here.

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, this would break my brain. next question.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, unless it has been and they're very good about hiding it (doubt it, tho. i'd be a weird choice to steal from)

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i would love it!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but i have been thinking more and more that i would love to do this!!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

this is so hard. . i think codywan has been the one ship that has just slapped my across the face and gave me stockholm syndrome. I think about them.... All the Time. second closest would be finnpoe, judging on how many stories i wrote about them. and they just fit so well together and i adore their characters and they had so much chemistry and. (i'll stop now)

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my brain will simply not allow me to leave a WIP uncompleted. by god, it's going to happen even if i am chaining myself to my laptop and typing through tears.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

i have received many compliments about my dialogue and smut scenes flowing very naturally :) i try to make them play like a movie and have it immersive enough that a character doesn't do/say something unnatural to make the reader stop and say wait what?

16.) What are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, PLOT and ANGST. can't do it for the life of me. i work best in oneshots so i can brain vomit and move on. i have a hard time planning out fics and i deeply envy writers that can create beautiful long fics in a timely fashion. i deeply lack the patience for something like that.

as for angst, yes i can technically do it, but it pains every cell in my body. just let the sad old gay men be happy.

17.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

closest i have ever gotten is mando'a, but it's been very fun to learn!

18.) First fandom you wrote for?

oh boy. one direction (the aforementioned orphaned works).

19.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

i am cursed with "i immediately hate everything i write as soon as i release it" syndrome. recently, though, i was particularly proud of safe. warm. mine. because it was very outside of my comfort zone due to the involvement of three people and it was the first a/b/o i have written!

no pressure tags for @veelawings @apricusapollo @shy-wookiee. these are all the mutuals that write (that i know of) and haven't already been tagged (i think)! but please, anyone who i missed or who sees this and wants to chime in and tag me, please do!!!

#this prompted me to see when i made my ao3 account and it was september of 2013.....#when did i get.... Old #my writing #finnpoe #stucky #dinluke #codywan #bobadinluke #wolfwren #fic writing #ask game

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kuwdora · 9 months

Text

The fraught experience of watching TV in a streaming entertainment economy.

I basically watch new TV with the expectation that current season I’m watching is going to be the last. That includes The Witcher Netflix, btw, but other shows, too. I get the feeling we’ve all sort of…come to this conclusion, right? We’re all so jaded because things get cancelled left and right. Nothing is safe. Nothing. :(

We all have to race to watch The Sandman or Shadow and Bone ASAP instead of enjoying a week-to-week drop. It’s exhausting. I don’t like feeling guilty when I don’t have the brain to watch things. I definitely have just streamed stuff in the background and watched it for real later, too.

Star Trek Prodigy on Paramount? Cancelled and pulled from the platform. People who purchased the rest of the season on Amazon never got the episodes because the rights were pulled. Star Trek is the flagship IP!!! And it STILL GOT CANCELLED. Even though it’s beautiful, and fucking brilliant and incredible television and had new episodes in the pipeline.

The other show I’m currently mourning is Moonhaven. I wrote about that show here. It was renewed for a second season! It’s an fascinating, atypical sci-fi TV premise with great leads and interesting worldbuilding and shooting locations in Ireland. And then AMC decided that they were not going to renew it. It’s similar what happened to Avenue 5 on HBO (Ave 5 was more of a Schroedinger’s Cancellation. It’s cancelled except maybe not? But it really is cancelled.)

A League of Their Own? Cancelled. Willow? Cancelled. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance? Sense8???? The list goes on and on. :(

I think for me it was in 2017 or 2018 that I really started internalizing this idea that none of my favorite, amazing shows were going to last. Santa Clarita Diet was axed by Netflix far too soon. Same with Altered Carbon. Those cancellations changed me, yeah…

I follow a lot of WGA writers on twitter and there’s been a lot of discussion happening about the Suits renaissance. Suits aired on the USA Network for 9 years with 16+ episodes/season. It’s been streaming on NBC’s Peacock platform for awhile and now has 8 seasons on Netflix. It’s currently the most-streamed show in Nielson’s history, something like over 2 billion minutes now. people are discovering it for the first time or coming back to it for a very happy rewatch.

This writer sums up the situation perfectly.

I also can’t track down the tweet where a writer was talking to a development executive at Peacock who admitted that they wouldn’t be able to get Suits made today.

Ugly Betty is another show that’s having a similar bump (thanks in part to Barbie, people catching up to how amazing America Ferrara is. Also watch Superstore!!) because people are looking for these longer shows that have character development and the longevity.

The only streaming platform I currently ‘trust’ with my vested TV interests is AppleTV. And I only trust them because I can see what kind of free reign they’re allowing their creatives to do with their shows. They’re specific and bold premises and commitment to characters and themes. Similar to Netflix in the early years. I doubt this will last much longer.

On Apple TV you’ve got incredible psychological thrillers like Severence and Silo happening. The musical comedy Schmiagdoon! too.

Ted Lasso got to have longer episodes and handed over showrunning duties to the lead actor with some questionable creative choices made in those seasons. It still got to complete the show on its own terms. Amazing.

Apple TV also has Mythic Quest which is a unique comedy in the streaming age.

It’s a workplace comedy about a fictionalized video game development company. Picture Ubisoft who also provides video game assets/interstitials for the show among other things. It’s Community meets Always Sunny in Philadelphia (features writers and actors from both). A comedy that examines toxic masculinity in a workplace, completely roasts the girlbloss tropes and the patriarchy. The main characters are really autistic and ADHD coded. The show is completely self-aware (at times painfully so).

But what sets Mythic Quest apart and what tells me Apple TV is letting creatives do their jobs: This show has Bottle Episodes! And flashback episodes that don’t feature any of the primary actors! But the episodes are still relevant to the the themes and character dynamics the show is exploring.

In a hyper-serialized streaming world where executives and product strategists are measuring engagement by minutes watched and how soon they watch, Apple TV is letting these folks make episodes you can watch out of order or skip. But they’re also episodes with high rewatchability. It’s a show with a ton of heart. Apple TV renews Mythic Quest ahead of a season premiere. It renews it for multiple seasons. I’ve found this commitment to the longevity of the show very heartening.

In the past I’ve fallen in love with shows that were irreverent, campy, self-aware comedies. All of these were ABC shows so I can’t even rail against the streaming model. But like Netflix shows they weren’t given enough time to reach a wider audience even though I think some of these definitely have Cult Acclaim by now. I showed up bright an early for most of these and my god. The cancellations stung so much. That pain just accumulated over the years. A precursor of what was to come. :(

Better Off Ted - 2009 show. Another workplace satire that was just ahead of it’s time in the way it showed us the gallows humor of being a cog in the capitalist system. Addressed sexism, racism and classism. Funny as hell. Portia di Rossi knew the fucking assignment and fucked its brains out with her performance. Maz Jobrani was only in like 5 or 6 episodes and he was SO GOOD. I made sure to see every local comedy show I could to see more of him once I saw him in Better off Ted. - currently streaming on Hulu

Galavant - 2014-2016 - a fantasy musical. Monty Python meets Princess Bride. Featuring creators and lyricists who worked on 90s Disney films. So fucking funny and cheeky and heartwarming and silly. The music is so GREAT. All my Witcher and Our Flag Meets Death friends need to check this one out if they need something new-to-them that is witty and light and heartfelt. - also streaming on Hulu

Don’t Trust the B— in Apt 23 - a 2012 show with Krysten Ritter!! Before she was Jessica Jones! This show has eccentric women characters and James van der Beek playing a fictionalized version of himself. This is a show that had so much potential and they aired everything out of order and and and and and and I loved it so much. - Hulu since this is again an ABC show. Vid Rec: Applause by elipie.

Selfie - JOHN CHO AND KAREN GILLAN! John Cho and Karen Gillan in a ROM COM. The screeching wails from fandom when this got cancelled. It was an amazing set-up, amazing chemistry. Funny, quirky. You could see the growth in both of the characters!! And! We Never! Got enough!! - seriously watch this on hulu if you can. John and Karen are AMAZING.

Every first season of Star Trek has been wobbly or had wobbily episodes that didn't work or actors were still getting to know their characters. Every first season. Including new Trek! The X-Files? Even rebooted again? I don’t think it would work. Heck, even if they made second reboot of Battlestar Galactica I’m not sure it’d last. FARSCAPE! Got cancelled! By SyFy! They (like Sense8 and Firefly and a few others) got to have a movie conclusion. But at what narrative cost?? The Expanse got cancelled and uncancelled. The Orville got cancelled and uncancelled. I can't get my hopes up about anything unless I know it's a "limited series" at the onset.

I'm exhausted and sad by the state of the industry. I hope the writers and actors get everything from the studios and we can see a shift back to the previous working models again. Better working conditions and pay and residuals.

So I'll eventually watch A League of Their Own and 1899 and I know I'm going to fucking love every moment that we got to have. And then mourn. And go dig up all the fanfic and vids and art that I can to get my fix.

I think for now I'm gonna join in the Suits rewatch cause I love the humor and the character growth and relationships are fantastic. I don't think I rewatched Suits or Ugly Betty since they aired.

#sighhhh. to Fox for cancelling Almost Human. Michael Ealy and Karl Urban were AMAZING #fox also cancelling Pitch. Kylie Bunbury was outstanding. special shoutout to Ali Larter's performance here too #whyyyy fox why did you cancel The Exorcist after two seasons. it was so good.#HANNIBALLLLLL I WILL FOREVER MISS YOU #kuwdora watches #old and cancelled shows #and some new ones too #kuwdora recs #mythic quest #better off ted #galavant #don't trust the b in apartment 23 #selfie on abc #streaming bullshit #textpost #blogdora

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thebroccolination · 6 months

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So, I have a theory about GawinKrist and Gawin's vampire show with Joss that seemed to come out of nowhere.

THE GOLDEN BLOOD THEORY

Gawin's been around since 2018, but he didn't get a main role in a BL until Be My Favorite. Back in (presumably) 2017, he worked as an usher at a movie theater after graduating from high school in the States in 2016. His two biggest roles before BMF were arguably Mork in the Kiss series (2018-2019), and Dan in Not Me (2021).

He was also the best part of Enchanté (2022), but tragically not one of the main cast.

After Gawin stuck with GMMTV through the worst of the pandemic regulations that restricted filming and then thoroughly proved his range in Not Me, I have a feeling that GMMTV was finally planning to give him his first leading role in a BL series: a vampire series opposite Joss planned for 2023.

Then, unexpectedly, Mike left his leading role in Be My Favorite in maybe August or September, and this is presumably when GMMTV looked at their options for Krist's costar and decided Gawin was their best bet.

Here's my thinking: if Golden Blood was planned for 2023, then GMMTV would have announced it at their showcase for 2023 programming in November of 2022. But the Be My Favorite recasting of Mike for Gawin was announced in September of 2022, so GMMTV could have easily pulled Golden Blood from the lineup and pushed it back a year. Since Gawin has never had a partner and Joss has never been in BL before this, no one was expecting a series from them, so no one would have known to expect anything from Gawin at all. Based on conversations I've had with Gawin's fans, he'd been so inactive that they didn't think he'd have a series at all in 2023.

Meanwhile, GMMTV had already announced Be My Favorite at their 2021 showcase of 2022 programming, and the director Waa had requested more time to work on the script in 2022, so the air date was pushed to 2023. As of September of 2022, Be My Favorite was announced, anticipated, already pushed back a year, and most likely paid for, so it was probably considered a high-priority series. Not to mention it had one of the Holy Trinity and the director of The Gifted attached, and it was to be the first BL series produced by Parbdee Studios.

My mantra with GMMTV for the past several months has been this:

They're incompetent, not malicious.

The fact that Gawin Caskey, better known to most for singing rather than acting, had never performed onstage before this summer at MUSICON in Japan and had to go to Krist before the second show because he had no idea what to talk about between songs is bonkers to me. Like, I'm not at all a GMMTV anti. I praise them when they deserve it, but holy shit. You've had a talent like Gawin Caskey for five years and you only just put him onstage this year?

I think SOTUS being the shock hit that saved them from bankruptcy is a good summary of how GMMTV seems to operate, at least from what I've seen: they throw stuff at a wall and sometimes it works really well! They like money a lot, so if money happens immediately, they do more of that even if they have no idea how it happened or why it was appealing.

Speaking of which—

GAWINKRIST & BE MY FAVORITE PROMOTION

Over the course of filming and promotion, Krist and Gawin became very close. They've both called each other their safe zone, Gawin moved his TV into Krist's house to be a second gaming screen for a while because he was over there constantly, and Krist got Gawin three (3) separate, custom birthday cakes in August (one at a small surprise party, one at the BMF final episode screening, and one at Gawin's birthday event). Krist even integrated Gawin into his university friend group, which is so absolutely fucking wild I can't even. Krist is twenty-eight years old and he adores Gawin so much he wanted Gawin to be part of a friend group he's had for ten years.

Gawin adores Krist's favorite child, they went to an art gallery, and once they even tried to bring a guitar to a beach at night to play music to the stars or some shit (the beach was closed they're both ridiculous). So when Krist calls Gawin "my precious buddy" he doesn't do it as some fanservice thing. They are basically family at this point, regardless of what happens in their professional lives, and it was a beautiful dynamic to watch over the summer.

Part of what made their chemistry so natural in Be My Favorite probably had a lot to do with how much they opened up to each other. Back in May, Krist shared that because he and Gawin aren't especially fond of social media, they discussed how to do the necessary promotion for their series comfortably. Krist actually got Gawin Caskey on TikTok to do TikTok dances, so once again: very good friends.

They also shared videos of them just hanging out at Krist's house eating snacks and playing video games, or playing guitar and riffing, playing with harmonies so beautiful I mourn daily that they don't have an album together.

When the series started airing, Krist invited Gawin to his house to watch the episodes together and go over their acting choices. But GMMTV had also scheduled Krist for a slew of solo concerts throughout Asia, so he had to watch some of them alone on the road overseas. What would have been a fun weekly promotion opportunity was complicated by GMMTV's bizarrely timed scheduling. (Of course, Krist rarely has a day off in general, but you'd think they'd organize his schedule to prioritize his first BL series since 2017.)

Be My Favorite didn't get much promotion overall compared to other GMMTV series, and GawinKrist especially seemed to be treated sort of as an afterthought. They had a few podcast interviews, they went to see Elementals at the cinema (which ended up inspiring Krist's theme for his solo "Elements" concerts in Bangkok), they went to Japan together for MUSICON, Aye had them sing on her channel, and they had a live session for RISER. Those were all the major ones, I think. Not nothing, but there were a ton of missed opportunities for more.

And for a company whose CEO recently touted their actors as influencers and obsesses over Twitter hashtag trends and viewing numbers, the lack of opportunities they gave GK is a little unusual to me.

Unless GMMTV knew they had a vampire series starring Gawin and another actor that they'd postponed. And it'd be announced at their showcase for 2024 programming in October shortly after Be My Favorite ended in August.

It might also explain why, when pretty much every other series had a song performed at the showcase medley, Be My Favorite wasn't included. Even though Krist and Gawin are both known singers who had four songs in Be My Favorite between them.

In the immediate aftermath of the showcase, a lot of GawinKrist fans were unhappy with the news of Gawin's new series, myself included. I'm not a big vampire fan in general, and I'm not impressed with the teaser, the director, or the screenwriter, so I probably won't be watching it. (BounPrem's vampire series is starring BounPrem, so that's why that one's my exception.) I am, however, very happy for Gawin for getting more main character money and remaining in a lead role. He's an absolute sweetheart, and I hope he has more music in 2024 that I can support.

As days passed after the showcase, the more I thought about Golden Blood and where it came from. GMMTV is incompetent, sure, and GawinKrist didn't make the same waves as other pairs, but they definitely have a committed fanbase, and Be My Favorite got overwhelmingly positive reviews, particularly for GawinKrist's chemistry. They trended consistently whenever they did anything, and most intriguingly, Japanese fans really love them thanks to MUSICON and FanFest. Japanese magazines are still releasing interviews and photoshoots with GawinKrist to this day (with plans for more!).

The only thing that makes sense to me is that Golden Blood was meant to happen first, and GMMTV didn't want to waste resources pushing GawinKrist over the summer when they knew Gawin would have to start from scratch with Joss in October.

It's kind of wild to think about, but if Mike hadn't left Be My Favorite, it would have gone ahead as planned, and Golden Blood would have aired this year at some point. And that would mean there's a timeline out there where Gawin and Krist were never cast together, and this beautiful friendship they created never happened. They never got to experience that safe zone they found in each other, and they never would have known what they were missing.

I'm still sad that their professional time together was so short, but this theory makes me feel better about it because rather than being something we were robbed of, they were a gift we never expected.

And just like KristSingto before them, GawinKrist are still close, still friends, and can enjoy their time together without the added pressure of selling and promoting their closeness. They can be friends without scrutiny. They can count their series as a point of pride. This unexpected masterpiece that brought them together.

And maybe someday, when their schedules line up again, they can make the beautiful fucking album that I deserve. [fire emoji]

#i swear this was going to be a couple of paragraphs tops #but i've been writing my bmf essays and i was originally going to include this but it's too much speculation #i want the essays to be as factual as possible so i'm just going to throw this into the tumblr ether #gawin caskey #krist perawat #be my favorite #gawinkrist

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isawken · 6 months

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haha heyyyyy jesties

this year has been rough stuff. and the problem is nothing life shattering has happened so i don’t even get to have a spectacular mental breakdown. it’s just been a lot of grind and disappointment and struggle to keep up or have any energy to do anything other than the bare minimum. to everyone who reached out to me with love or kindness or memes and waited weeks or more for a response i love you. and i’m so sorry for my total absence of personhood. i’ve never gotten a dm even if it’s just a silly post and an “i thought of you” that i didn’t like. and your patience with me is appreciated more than you know.

i have some stuff i want to work on. some hobbies i want to pick up again. some friendships i want to recultivate. some pieces of my life i want to try to rekindle. i used to have so much creative energy and impulse. did you know i used to make zines? i fuckin loved making zines. the tactile experience of cutting up thick paper and punching holes and using thread to bind em and filling it with vague thoughts and little collages and splashes of acrylic paint. that shit ruled. about a month ago i tried making one for the first time in years. i cut up some old paper and dusted off the ol' hole punch. this time instead of my usual embroidery thread i used necklace chain to bind it. i was proud of that idea. when it came time to put stuff in it i choked. i had no creative thought. i forced myself to cover the first page with orange and yellow crayola markers. but that was it. i had nothing other than that. just hasty sloppy color thoughtlessly and restlessly thrown down. a dull background promised to a more interesting foreground that never came.

that shit did not rule.

in 1883 in pecos texas the first recorded rodeo takes place. in 2001 rob smets attends the PBR world finals in jeans and a sports jersey bearing sponsor logos. in 1780 joseph grimaldi makes his stage debut at 2 years old at london’s famed drury lane. in the many, many years before any white person ever laid eyes on it, a man in what you’d now call northern arizona paints his body in black and white stripes and puts corn husks in his hair. in 1557 ivan the terrible acts as pallbearer to a man who walked naked in the streets of moscow, even in the dead of winter. 1568 the gelosi acting company coalesces in italy to perform the hot new style of live improv entertainment. in 2017 the ringling bro’s circus performs its last show, 146 years after the titular brothers first formed it. all of these moments (and more!) live in my head rolling around like marbles and one day i’ll tell you all why.

i’ve been on mood stabilizers for so long it’s hard for me to tell if this has just been a really long depressive swing or if this is just how i am now. if this is just what getting older is like. i don’t really think it is. i am like 90% sure this will not last. but the two questions that follow are always 1. how do i get out of it, and 2. what if it is tho xD?

i recently went down to southeastern ohio to visit my family. went up the mountain at 1 am saturday night to help my gramma grab the 8 year old boy she’s been helping to take care of from his strung out mother. the next day i saw my various other relations, aunts and cousins however many times removed. i hung out with my second cousin. same age as me, with two twin girls, 4 years old. she’s a great mom. and enjoys it, too. got a decent husband with a good job. obviously i don’t know her struggles. not like we talk often. but she seemed overall pleased when she spoke about her life. i told her about my work from home job and my loving partner of 8 years and my plans for the future. she told me i was living the dream. and like. i kind of am. so why do i wake up every morning in various states of hangover (it's the mental illness)

i live in one of the cloudiest cities in these united states. my house is about 500 square feet. it’s dark at 5pm now. i already miss the sun. i want to get sunburned again. i want to be sweaty. i want to put talcum powder in my skort. i want to get through this winter without having to rub snow on my face to stave off more serious impulses. i want to check the 5 items off my to do list.

all of my want is like a song stuck in my head.

i miss that stickbug meme

i should dress up like a clown again

maybe tomorrow i’ll just lay under my weighted blanket for 5 hours

or maybe i’ll actually do something i like to do and feel good and real and human about it. who knows. only time will tell. and in the meantime. thanks if you read this <3

#hi and welcome to my bi-yearly Personal Rambling Long Post #a serious big fr thank u to those of you who are patient when i dont respond for long stretches of time. it means the world to me :o)

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