𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃! 𝐑𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐨, 𝓒𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵 𝓦𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻༄
Aired 02.02.23
Featuring music from American Football, Mitski, Panchiko, Alex G and more!
Listen on Spotify and Apple Music.
From the beginning of quarantine to my trip to New York in 2021, I went through a time in my life that felt like a perpetual winter I would never get out of. Countless nights spent on Minecraft with my friends from California and London, to the endless drives to nowhere with my friends here in Chicago. “Cruel Winter,” encapsulates the music I was listening to during that time. A digitally infused indie soundscape.
The name comes partly from a screenplay I wrote for a screenwriting class I took, and from a playlist I made with my friend Raymond, (who I met in the screenwriting class). It encapsulated this specific sound, a grey and brown with a stark baby blue between the two.
Starting of with “Brian is The Most Beautiful Boy,” the droning at the beginning takes me straight back to the beginning of the pandemic, mostly in my room playing Minecraft with my friends Jas, Ray and Alfie. I had just gotten my license as well, and sometimes I would take longer coming back from picking the lunches the school gave out for free, just to clear my mind.
“My Friends Don’t Know (I Know They Hate Me)” by dandelion hands was so popular on TikTok during this time. I loved this song and I would listen to the album “It’s All in Your Head,” over and over. It was around then the “Cruel Winter” began to settle in.
The first run of the show is called “Raymond’s Run,” I met Ray in that online screenwriting class, we became pretty good friends after the class ended, spending hours on Minecraft and Discord. He got me a cracked version of FL Studio and introduced me to a word of music I had never listened to. I can still remember the day I listened to “Deathmetal” and gushing about it to Raymond the next day. Or when Raymond showed me the cassette he wanted to buy from Subsonic Eye’s bandcamp. “Cabin Fever” reminds me of the screenplay I wrote, and the runs I would take in the mornings. Raymond is an incredibly talented guitar player, he could learn a song so quickly. I remember he learned “Beautiful Boy,” by John Lennon, on a call with me and our friend Jas, with a quick glance at the chords. He was working on a folk album around that time and he shared Nick Drake as one of his inspirations for the album. “Parasite” stuck with me.
My friend Sasha and Maya would frequently host creative zoom sessions, where we would just spend time working on whatever we wanted.
I would mostly draw, and sometimes write. While they wrote. Sasha introduced me to Car Seat Headrest around that time, and “Twin Fantasy” became an obsession. “Stop Smoking We Love You” transitions well into “Thoroughfare” by Ethel Cain, one of three songs in this set that I didn’t listen to during the pandemic. Though the lyricism encapsulates my mindset during the time. I had a desire to run to California and leave everything behind. I considered not going to college and just running to the west.
That desire was ignited by the screenwriting class I took through Academy of Arts University. There was something special about that class. Where as most zoom classes I had during the time was filled with shut off cameras. Most of the students had their cameras open and were eager to participate. We all had an instagram group chat where we would check in on each other throughout the year. I had met Raymond there and Jas through the class. Just a few weeks after the class ended we played on a Minecraft server Jas had made almost every single night. I met so many people on the server, we would talk and play for hours. I even met my friend Alfie, who’s from London, with them on a Minecraft parkour map.
Mr. Q, the teacher of the screenwriting class read a screenplay I wrote months after the class ended. (Which I plan to film later this year.) He recommended me Holy Hive sometime later. “Cynthia’s Celebration” has these beautiful drums that are just so rich and beautiful. It reminds me of the feeling I had while taking his class and those nights playing Minecraft. (Brown and a hint of orange).
“Lens” by Frank Ocean is my favorite song from Frank. I would play this song non-stop. It was my most listened song that year. It reminds me of the directionless drives I would take with my friends. Nate’s car was our go to vehicle. While me and Alonso would control the aux.
I watched “We’re All Going to The World’s Fair” with Jas and Ray.
We hated it. But the music stuck with me. Sasha had already introduced Alex G to me but his music never clicked with me until I watched this movie. “End Song” reminds me of this feeling I had in the lit of my stomach throughout the pandemic. It still hasn’t quite went away.
I had many movie nights during the pandemic. Some with my friend Sarah, others with my childhood best friend B, and others with Ixmati, Annie and Celeste. Sometimes it was spent trying not to fall asleep, and others spent trying not to wake my parents.
“Two Weeks In December” by Skull Crusher and “Secret” by Waveform* have this specific sound, like the haze that seemed to cover everything during the first few months of the quarantine.
I never really got into Mitski, but “A Pearl” had been on heavy rotation throughout the year and well into the beginning of the quarantine.
“It’s just that I fell in love with a war,
Nobody told me it ended,
and it left a pearl in my head,
and I roll it every night
just to watch it glow.”
I hate to admit I romanticized the first few months of quarantine and I often find myself looking back. I can’t help to smile. Even though it felt like the world was ending, I didn’t feel alone.
My “Cruel Winter” felt like it was nearing it’s end when I listened to “A Lot’s Going To Change” by Weyes Blood. I was graduating high school. I so badly wanted to go back to how it had been before. I was so afraid of what came after. It was during this time where the pandemic was in limbo. The cases had spiked again and everything was in limbo.
American Football was a band I listened to throughout my dive into the lesser known indie artists, at least from my perspective. The perpetual winter ended at the end of summer ‘21. Right before a solo trip to New York with my friends Alonso and Dario. (Or so I thought).
The final run of the set is made up of three songs. “Wintertime” by Brockhampton, “4sure” by Louke Man, and “Thank You Song” by FKA Twigs
“Wintertime” is an unreleased song that was leaked along with the Technical Difficulties tracks Brockhampton did over the quarantine. The songs were on heavy rotation when I would drive. “Wintertime” was the inspiration for my screenplay I wrote during that online class. It was a big idea condensed into a 7 page script if I remember correctly. A fitting metaphor to the big ideas I had during the pandemic but with little outlet to do them.
The last two songs serve as a thank you, to all those friends that helped me get through my “Cruel Winter”, and even though it came back not long after my trip to New York. These people helped me get through it.
Special thanks to Aaron, Alfie, Alonso, Anna, B, Celeste, Daisy., Dario, Erin, Iris, Ixmati, Jas, Marcus, Maya, Mr. Q, Nate, Raymond, Sarah, Sasha, The Screenwriting Guild, and TJ. Even though I couldn’t mention everyone and everything we did together, I am grateful for the memories we made together.
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Wednesday 15 November Mixtape 396 “Departure Path EXCLUSIVE”
Electronic Experimental Space Synth
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Trevlad Sounds-Welcome in you wonderful listener 00:00
The Future Sound Of London-Point of Departure 00:31
Coda Nautica-Intricate Harmonics 06:21
Gy0-Death Is Real 11:32
Dividenthal & Aumgn-Earth Disguised 18:18
worriedaboutsatan-Minesweeper 25:42
Mick Chillage-Gravitational Anomalies 27:35
Virusmoto-ᛊᛖᚲᚱᛖᛏ ᛊᛁᚾ ᚲᚺᚨᛊᛖ 35:50
Survey Channel-Vitamin Mind 42:04
Patrick R. Pärk-Integral Part Of The Universe 45:36
Waveformer-PLAYED DELAYS 48:59
Stiletti Ana-A To B 54:44
Pabellón Sintético-Mother 03 1:01:40
2xirtam-Scalar Fields 1:04:05
Kanot-Mygg 1:11:27
Puma & The Dolphin-Nude Gum 1:13:24
Oceanographer-The Sun Can See Us All 1:16:50
Fontän-Nautilus 1:22:21
lovetrip-pacifier 1:27:00
The Exorcist GBG-X-Theme 1:33:24
dogs versus shadows-Nightwatch 1:25:53
Fibo Toukro-Wako6p 1:27:16
David Slowing-Sinuous Path 1:30:28
Memory Index-Steps On The Way 1:36:58
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