#my brain melted

[swampstew]

Really Really

Breaking news: local cryptid @quinloki was found guilty of leaving tasty treats in my ask box. Feeding the thot after midnight. I let the whoremone monster out and it was feeling some type of way♥

Man worth 3 billion berri is still a virgin, so I threw him in the blender. Warnings: spicy; post-time skip Eustass Kid x AFAB Reader; it doesn't go all the way in :) WC: 1.2K

inspired by this gif

Impatient.                                            

Not a word typically used to describe yourself but after six long months aboard the Victoria Punk, the fierce Captain Kid had once again overlooked your playful flirting as he stormed to his workshop; a hint of red on the tips of his ears were the only sign he’d heard what you said.

You weren’t sure what his deal was – you’d never seen him hook up, not with anyone on the crew and not with anyone on islands the crew landed at. Sure he’d go into strip clubs or make out with random people at the bar from time to time but not once had you seen him spend the night off ship. Or seen a one-night stand stumble from his cabin.

It was puzzling.

A devilishly handsome, well-toned man like him had women and men swooning over him, flirting and spoiling him with compliments, drinks, and food to gain his favor. Kid didn’t always accept the tokens and he almost never accepted them from you. Food and drinks yes but flirting? Almost like it went over his spiked hair; a blush, smirk or scowl the only response he gave you.

It made you…desperate.

Was he really that disinterested or was there something else?

Someone else?

So you did what any rational person could do – you got Killer drunk and tried to weasel out information. But the son of a bitch was like a sealed vault, refused to give up anything about his best friend. And he teased you for it.

“D-you like him or something?” the blonde finally asked.

“I—” you stuttered, “I’m just wondering why! Does he not like sex or?”

Killer didn’t answer right away, swirling his cup before taking a contemplative sip from his straw. “It’s not that, so much as…” he took another sip, “He prioritizes his ambitions and dreams. That’s all.”

“What does that have to do with fucking?”

“Absolutely nothing. He just hasn’t.”

“…Hasn’t? As in had sex?”

Killer shrugged, neither confirming nor denying. That stunned you into silence.

“Really? A guy like him??”

“If you’re so interested in finding out – you should ask him yourself.”

“I’ve tried! I flirt with him, wear revealing clothes, he usually ignores me!”

Killer began coughing, putting his drink aside as he shuddered between suppressing laughter and trying to breathe.

“F-ff-ff- ahh no he doesn’t. He just pretends to.”

“WHAT?!”

“He’s not an idiot, he knows what you’re doing. But he won’t do anything about it since you’re his responsibility; unless you were to, well, be aggressively transparent.” With that, Killer left you alone in the galley.

Transparency.

And Kid’s known the whole damn time and not even acknowledged it. That was frustrating. So much so you decided to try again the next day and be as blunt as possible.

You knew his schedule by heart, you skipped breakfast to hide in his workshop. Wearing a short skirt and oversized sweater, you took a pair of scissors and got creative. Carefully snipping away at the fabric, you cut away at your outfit to expose your bra and panties, not quite getting naked, enough to be as blunt as possible about your intentions.

The sound of thudding boots growing closer suddenly made you nervous but you swallowed your anxiety and snipped the strap of your bra before tossing the scissors and turned away from the door.

“The hell are you doing in here? Why weren’t you at breakfast?" stunned to find you in his sanctuary, a place he expressly forbade anyone from.

You turned your head to the side with a pout on your face, “Didn’t want to eat. I want something else.”

Slamming the door shut, Kid removed his coat and threw it on the table before roughly grabbing your shoulder to face him. His face turned bright red as his golden eyes traveled up and down your body. Studying the way the slit up your skirt gave him a view of your panties, the way your breast threatened to spill over the edge of the cup of the destroyed bra.

You heard his breath sharply release from his lips, “What the…the fuck happened to you?”

You narrowed your eyes, “You did. This is what you’ve driven me to.”

He backed away from you with shock and surprise on his face, “I did what?!”

“I want to fuck you,” you walked towards him, hips, thighs, and breasts jiggling with each step, “I’ve tried flirting with you, dropped hints, given you a share of my loot, and literally hand fed you and you’ve NEVER reciprocated in any manner. So, is it me? Do you find me atrocious? Unfuckable?” your voice became gravelly from the internalized resentment and embarrassment you felt from the efforts you’d put in all this time. “Please, tell me. It’s killing me. If you don’t want me, I’ll stop. But just say something. Am I making a fool of myself for wanting you?”

Kid’s back hit the door, eyes wide as he listened to your rant, “I-wha-no! It’s not you, it’s…”

You stopped a few feet from him, so desperate to hear his answer. You could see the bulge outline in his pants.

“FUCK!” he snarled, smacking his own face to cover his flushed expression, fingers digging into his skin until deep red crescents marked him. “I’ve never had sex!” he finally confessed.

“Really?” you asked, not at all expecting that response. “But…why not? You’re hot as fuck!”

“I JUST HAVEN’T OKAY?!” he lashed out, making you step back from him, a little intimidated by his embarrassed rage. “I’ve got more important shit to do than fuck around and spawn a bunch of bastards,” he spat through grit teeth.

“…Condoms exist…”

“I KNOW THAT!”

Your hip clipped the table’s edge and you stumbled backwards. Before you fell, Kid grabbed your arm and pulled you up, in doing so you fell right into his bare chest. You could feel the goosebumps ripple across both your bodies from the touch but he didn’t move away.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, a bit ashamed from the confrontation, “I just needed to know if you found me attractive, at all. I’ll leave you alone.”

Still holding on to you he barked out, “Have you fucking seen yourself? Who wouldn’t be into you?!”

“Well, you? Considering you keep blowing me off,” you mumbled.

That made him laugh, “REALLY? Shit and here I thought I was being a decent Captain by not sleeping with my subordinates.”

“Really? You parroted in shock, that was surprisingly mature and unexpected. “But I’ve never seen you fuck around with anyone so I just thought—”

“Does this seem like I’m not interested?” he huffed, using his metal arm to grab your waist and pull you into him. Felt his erection against your lower belly. “Fuck me for trynna do the right thing.”

He made you walk backwards, still pressing his body into yours, “I get hard every day just looking at you. When you say cheeky shit, I have to come here and jerk off so I can fucking think clearly. You’re my biggest distraction but—” his hand ghosted up your arm to caress your cheek with surprising gentleness, “—I’ve never not been attracted to you.”

“Oh,” you hummed, still as stone to preserve the moment.

With a click of his tongue, Kid grabbed your chin and planted a wet kiss on you.

Your eyes were crossed from the feeling, lost in a haze as you felt him swing your body around until you were pushed back on top of his coat. The withdrawal of his touch brought you to reality, mouth gaping as he stood in front of you but did not initiate further contact.

“Show me what you like,” he rasped out. “Touch yourself. Teach me what to do.”

#eustass kid #what would you teach him first? #dont feed the thot after midnight #she turns into a whoremone monster #swampstew bedtime stories #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid x you #eustasscaptainkid #quinloki #sorry for being a tease though #my brain melted #in a good way

[mochibxyy]

A drawing of Shadow the hedgehog

#drawing #sonic fanart #sonic the hedghog fanart #sonic the hedgehog #sth fanart #my art <3 #shadow the hedgehog #shadow the ultimate lifeform #idw sonic #sonic prime #sonic fandom #sonic art #sth #digital sketch #my art sketch #this was so fun for me to color my favorite hedgehog #sonic #my brain melted

[kennethbrangh]

CIARÁN HINDS in The Family Plan (2023)

#ciaran hinds #the family plan #WHERE DO I EVEN START #okay the movie is shit obviously #BUT #leather jacket #turtleneck #AND LIKE 1 ACTION SCENE #so damn hot #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #my brain melted #HE'S 70 #AND HE LOOKS LIKE THAT #nah man #i can't #also that smile look i can't i can't I CAN'T #gifs*

[seakicker]

When pressed on the matter, Scaramouche would, of course, rather die than admit his feelings for milf!reader. If any of his friends were to ask him if he has the hots for his lovely little neighbor lady, he'd act as if the mere notion is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. Him, in love with his hag of a neighbor? He doesn’t find their jokes very funny.

He doesn’t feel anything but disdain for your clumsiness and contempt for your shamelessness, he insists to his inquirers. While some of his friends have playfully argued that his incessant insistence on your supposed undesirability comes off as… overcompensation, Scaramouche has always asserted that he feels absolutely nothing for you. Why would he?

No, there is nothing about you that arouses Scaramouche. Nothing about the soft bounce of your tits as you climb the stairs, the round curve of your plump belly proudly jutting against your tight pencil skirts and pairs of mom jeans, or the ample plumpness of your thighs and ass peeking out from under your skirts gets him going. Why would it? You annoy him, he insists over and over and over again.

And yet, despite his best efforts at convincing his friends that he feels nothing for you, none of them believe him. Kazuha and Heizou are both too inquisitive and intuitive to take anything he says at face value, Venti says he can "absolutely tell when someone's in loooooove," Xiao only remarks that if Scaramouche's claims really were true, he wouldn't be trying so hard to prove them to the others, and Aether only sheepishly adds that somebody who insists they aren't in love with their neighbor wouldn't feel the need to bring every story about them back to their body and how it looks in different outfits. Why aren't any of his friends on his side? Maybe it's a sign to find a new circle.

He'll never stop insisting that nothing about you arouses him, and yet... whenever Venti goes off on a tangent describing the softness of an older woman's body (he appears to speak from experience) and how you look just as soft and desirable as every lady should be, Scaramouche can't help but feel a little... angry? That's probably not it, but there's something about Venti thirsting over Scaramouche's own neighbor that ignites something bitter in the latter. It's not like he should care— he's already said that he feels nothing for his neighbor, so that should give the others free reign to talk about you and lust after you as much as they want with little regard to Scaramouche simply because he's already asserted that he's not actively pursuing her. If Scaramouche isn't gonna take her, then Venti will— and yet, something about that just... irks Scaramouche.

Is it the fact that Scaramouche just cannot understand why Venti would want to get with you after all of the former's best efforts at convincing them that you're nothing special, that you're just some old hag with a loose body and nothing better to do with your time than lounge around the pool in a skimpy bikini that exposes more than it covers? Scaramouche can't believe anyone alive finds your shamelessness attractive— when he catches himself staring at you as you readjust your bikini top for the eightieth time that afternoon, it's not because he's in awe of how dutifully that bikini's clinging to dear life, it's because he's disgusted with your lack of ability to pick out something that actually fits you, alright? Don't get it twisted: he's not staring at your tits and he's certainly not staring at your thighs and he's absolutely not staring at your belly and he's most positively not staring at your ass and—

Hm. If nothing else, maybe Scaramouche should secure you for himself so he doesn't have to put up with the idea of one of his own friends getting with his neighbor. That's all there is to it, alright? It would be exceptionally troublesome for Scaramouche if Venti were to get with his neighbor—imagine how awkward that would be— so the former takes it upon himself to prevent that from happening.

...No other reason at all, nope.

#my brain melted #i still need some kind of name or tag for this little miniseries #scaramouche smut #juju bakery #scaramouche x reader #fem reader #chubby reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

[schumi-nadal]

Excuse me sir… Why are you looking this hot ? 😳

#my brain melted #roger federer #uniqlo

[iceical]

My dumb ass thought it would be fun to do a little style study of the epithet erased art style and draw an oc in it. IT WAS SO HARD BUT SHE TURNED OUT PRETTY AT LEAST. My favorite mundie postal worker

#Epithet Erased #epithet erased oc #dear god why did i style match it #it turned out nice #but i am dead inside #oc #oc art #my art #digital art #my brain melted #yeah its not perfect but the vibes #should be good enough #the hands were the hardest part #so chunky #like lego claws

[d1nosaurpower]

Small evening doodle

#jjba #chainsaw man #art #iggy jojo #pochita #my brain melted

[whumpookies]

Erm....when your scrolling through Tumblr and you see this...

Not everyday you see a Granma with a sword advertising a fanfiction app...

Well ain't that a what-the-actual-fudge moment I'm not sure what is 🤔😕

#confused #fanfiction #tumblr community #advert #okay.... #wtaf #whump community #my brain melted

[mochibxyy]

Mored doodles

#drawing #sonic fanart #sonic the hedghog fanart #sonic the hedgehog #sth fanart #my art <3 #my art hehe #amy rose #amy the hedgehog #my art wip #shadow the ultimate lifeform #shadow the hedgehog #my art lmao #my brain melted #sonic fandom #sonic au #Mochibxyy art

[remastermydisasters]

Thank you to days_fade for streaming last night because watching this song get played in real time was a trip. Missed the opening because my brain didn't comprehend to screen record sooner

#mcr #desolation row #my brain melted

[mmas4]

No context

Head empty

Hand reach

What

#I don't know what tagg should I use #two hands #hand #hands #reaching #fingers #art #love ig #is this love #i'm bad at tagging #can someone please help me find the meaning of this I'm really confused and it makes me feel wierd #help #what tags do i even put here #tagging is a pain in the ass #my brain melted

[atlafan]

Erika just sent me an AI edit of Harry wearing a bruins jersey and he’s clearly a player and ohhhhhhh my god 🥵🥵

#I don’t condone AI but uhhhhhhhhhh #my brain melted #am I gonna have to write a hockey au when I’m done with the Halloween prompts?

[hanarchy]

hey you guys…….

have you heard the river by bruce springsteen

#im SORRY OK #my brain melted

[the-maddened-hatter]

Finally clawing myself out of a weird stint of summer depression, maybe I can finally actually start adding to the trans+ resource spreadsheet again

#sorry for letting it go kinda dead for several months #my bad #my brain melted #I promise I felt bad about not doing it for the entirety of that time #lgbtq+

[artrealla]

#yall have no idea how long it took to do the colors on this #i feel like my brain melted out my ears #but im SO happy with this theyre so cute god #my art #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #st fanart #steddie fanart #please rb with tags they make me so so so happy and i screenshot them and show my friends and its so cute