#my heart rate was

[cerbreus]

another day.. another dr appt where my dr and nurse are both like “jesus wtf is wrong with u”

#my heart rate was #130bpm and that was after sitting for almost 25min #my bp was #bad #quite bad #my dr said i might have what is called white coat hypertension which is just another way of saying i get really worked up abt dr appts #personal stuff #my heart is about to loony toons style burst out of my chest at any given moment #im not allowed to have caffeine anymore :'(

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[aimseytv]

sorry dude i can’t hang out today. i saw someone online misinterpret my favourite piece of media. yeah i have to lay on the floor. yeah it’ll be all day.

#saw someone make the worst take on bubbline i’ve ever seen and my heart rate spiked

[bruhlpng]

Pedro Pascal + Letterboxd (inspo.)

#pedro pascal #ppascaledit #pedropascaledit #pedrohub #tusercora #useroaks #usertammy #useralii #before anyone comes at me for the ratings i took letterboxd and imdb ratings not my own #the hearts are just my personal favs #mine* #**

[exoid-the-locomotive-monarch]

>be a webcomic

>decent popularity and critical support from the fans at the start

>immediate drop in quality over next bunch of updates

>fans hate it

>gets so bad writers and artists are harassed to the point of leaving the team

>endless controversies between writers acting shitty on their personal Twitter account to fans to accusing discord mods of being 4Chan nazis

>comic loses half its funding 8 months in

>bimonthly updates 4 months in return to the sluggish once a month updates from the start

>pause 14 months into the comic’s intended 5 year run.

>announce a month later indefinite hiatus

>radio Silence for THREE YEARS AND NINE MONTHS

>be almost 4 year anniversary of the webcomic’s start, 17 days away to be exact

>drop 4 DOZEN pages

>new director

>new writers union

>new EVERYTHING even the title of the comic changed

>the “it’s so over” from the fandom supercharges back into “we are so fucking back”

>its name is enough to scare half this website into shock

>look at tags

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #homestuck beyond canon #james roach #we are so fucking back bros #this might actually be good #upd8 #holy shit #my heart rate doubled #just seeing homestuck tweet #dont dissapoint me james #is john okay #i love you john #i hope nothing bad ever happens to you again

[herewegobebe]

TAEMIN | Criminal ✦ Metamorph

#shinee #taemin #lee taemin #criminal #metamorph #analook #(i'm sorry i feel bad doing this to you 🔥🚑) #lets just say my heart rate went up to 110 bpm during this part of the concert 🤪🥴 #i blame gym bunny minho #i'm still in the recovery position #flashing tw #my.gifs

[roadstostray]

needed a new icon

I'm so gay for him

#roadstostray #my art #stardew valley #stardew #Sebastian sdv #sdv #i don't have to explain myself #im just gay #i managed to get 6 hearts in month one #im a professional emo kisser first artist second #im gonna marry him by mid summer I think at this rate if rain is kind #let's see if I can beat my record of the last day of summer #its currently summer 3 and he's at 7 hearts

[reelaroundparis]

GUYS. when i say i love haymitch i do not mean the black-out drunk, 'violent' haymitch abernathy i quite literally mean the one that advocated against his tribute becoming a sex symbol/stopping the capitol from physically altering her body, the one that made hefty sacrifices for both his tributes at times, the one that sleeps with a knife and the lights on out of safety, the one haunted by his past with little sparks of hope left inside of the rubble of his current self. the one that did so much and was pretty much glossed over despite how much was revealed about him. the seam boy with a fire that never was put out, but dimmed as he grew. the one that outlived 47 tributes and manipulated the arena with his intelligence that is so HEAVILY slept on. THAT, is my haymitch. not the one that fell off the stage, or puked on the rug, or anything that would turn him into some sort of joke because he's not. to me he's a little like the hidden meaning of an art piece, symbolic and aching like the painter who put their feelings on canvas.

#im so passionate about him #he lives so deep in my heart #i should be the offical hay apologist blog at this rate /j #i'm so deeply infatuated with that man what is WRONG with me #haymitch abernathy #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #the hunger games

[yourlocalcorviddad]

Ok Ok so.

In dpxdc stories. Danny always gets assumed to be sick or uses it as an excuse or whatever to hide his powers right?

What if he wasn't lying?

It wasn't something easily noticed, not when half a dozen other things could explain it after all.

The shakes lingering? Well he'd used his ice powers a lot the night before fighting Skulker.

The faint feeling and lightheadedness? Well his mom had a good shot when people didn't interfere, and while he healed fast, it wasn't from nothing; he felt better after he ate anyway.

Heart racing suddenly? Probably just attempting to regulate the low beat on reflex again to seem normal but over shot it.

But the getting out of breath or spotty vision hadn't really been easily explained.

It was Mr. Lancer who asked about it after he'd gotten up from his seat in detention-happening less and less for actual reasons and more an opportunity to safely do his work and rest, after the truce with the ghosts to leave him and the town be during certain hours-only for the next thing he knew he was on the floor, head pillowed on Mr. Lancer's sweater, and a cool wet paper towel on his forehead and neck.

POTS. Post orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Not uncommon for those who had had injuries too their hearts to get.

It made sense when the teacher asked if he could have it. Apparently a friend of his's daughter had it.

From there, it made things easier to an extent. Salt was pretty easy to add, he figured out a wrist brace that he could extend into a cane if needed to.

In ghost form he didn't need it at all, but human form had its limits.

Despite all that he'd gone through, he graduates and even gets accepted to a college near jazz, hers was in Metropolis but Gotham had the ambient ectoplasm that he needed, and it was a day trip away.

And so Gotham U became his home, especially after his parents couldn't take that he wasn't "their son" anymore when he told them-after moving everything and getting his cheap apartment set up just in case. He considered it lucky that they loved their son enough they couldn't hunt "his ghost".

Last he'd heard they were working closer with the GIW but hadn't had much luck since the portal strangely closed soon after he left and the other ghosts didn't feel much reason to visit Amity anymore without him there.

It was Gotham U where he met Dick by literally fainting into his arms after a long day where he'd forgotten to eat and the early dinner the night before plus the going down the stairs at a quick pace and leaning forward with gravity.

"sorry, couldn't help falling for you~" the cheesy pick up line was the only thing his foggy brain could comprehend before he fainted.

#dpxdc #me giving Danny my own conditions cause i can? #more likely than you think! #but it can cause a lot of the same issues he has from being half ghost. heart rate can be really slow sometimes #bp can be really low heck I've read as dead on machines before lol #and other stuff #in phantom form it doesn't actually go away #it just gets healed fast enough that he doesn't notice #he deserves a bit of a break in it I'm not heartless #death defying

[felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna]

where are the fics for swat yunho? 🥵

#the way my heart rate picked up… #ateez #yunho #jeong yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut

[lotus-pear]

regret

#literally excuse the shitty anatomy and cell shading i was thinking abt chuuyas reaction to what he'd done and i decided to make it skk #bc skk copium :') #the way i've hated dazai so fucking much but i still cried like a bitch when he died #he's not dead the bsd fandom has this phase like the elevator chapter where we're like ''dazai's not gonna make it he's done for!!'' #and then he comes back next chapter like surprise bitches yall thought i was dead lmao #this chapter fucking HURT for skk shippers tho like we rly lost this time around huh #deluding myself into thinking that chuuya used gravity manipulation to slow the bullet #bc we didn't see a bullet hole behind dazais head like when chuuya shot his shoulder even though the bullet to his skull was fired at close #the reason theres a wound is bc the compressed air that was still fired was enough to wound him #and the shock wave that followed caused him to pass out bc of the sudden tension to his head intermingled with the blood loss and poison #we also know dazai can control his heart rate at will so maybe he can drop his pulse to zero for like thirty secs #enough to make fyodor believe he's dead #in the event that all of this is untrue and dazai rly does die the way my entire being will go numb and cold and dead #knowing that fyodor will most likely use dazai's death as a weapon against chuuya effectively chaining him to his side #like bffr chuuya may dislike dazai but that's his partner his reflection the boy that makes him desperately want to be human #dazai is the embodiment of chuuyas humanity and once chuuya loses that tether to his human side he will snap and the facade will shatter #and we will truly see chuuya unhinged with nothing more keeping him bound to his mortal shell #this wasn't the skk reunion we wanted asigiri what the fuck :( #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #lotus draws

[assigned-caim-at-birth]

Family gathering

#hylics #hylics fanart #somsnosa #happy pre-stream day! my heart rate is 5000 bpm and its like 17 hours away

[clownibalism]

shoutout to my chronically ill/disabled besties who need to sit down to do dishes/get dressed/brush ur teeth/cook/shower/other “simple” tasks that involve standing, i see u and i love u

#inspired by me having to sit down while getting dressed bc my heart rate was spiking and my legs were getting weak #disabled positivity #actually disabled #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic pain #pots gang #potsie #hypermobile eds #edser #sick gang

[hgirl7768]

Strong beats 🫀

#cardiophilia #female heartbeat #cardiophile #steth me #heartbeat #stethoscope #fast heartbeat #fast female heartbeat #fast heart rate #heart #female heart #pounding heart #my heart

[forestofsprites]

watching the final 2 episodes with the heart rate of someone being hunted for sport

#for reference's sake my resting heart rate is 70 #jesus christ #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens s2 #GOS2Spoilers

[thymeofarrival]

Gem’s bloodlust is genuinely scary and unsettling and I adore it and her so much

… I hit tag limit on this and I’m not even close to done spilling my thoughts in the tags so I’m going to post so I can copy my tags into real text and keep writing them

#I can’t imagine facing her as one of the uninfected when she’s got my heart rate up just watching from her perspective #she’s a hunter #I’ve written something before about how she talks about murder in the same excited tone as cute decorations #and people sometimes underestimate her because of it despite her reputation as a good fighter #but she’s not a fighter she’s a predator #she’s a hunter and even watching from her perspective sometimes it feels like she’s hunting me #she’s hunting All #and it’s exciting and fun for her #and she needs her pack to some extent but when it gets too big she needs to split off again #idk what’s going on in these tags it’s just. hnnghhh. Red Gem #or even before she went red #just bloodthirsty predator gem reveling in the thrill of the hunt #it’s not nearly as much fun on your own but once you’ve killed a couple people to your side and have the numbers to terrify people #you can do that. you can circle around your prey and corner them and terrify them before you kill them #and it feels like power and it feels like a game and it feels like fun #because it’s not life or death it’s success or failure #but maybe everything is a game to a creature like gem who hops between worlds at will #what if she could leave secret life at any time #like she could hop between empires and hermitcraft at any time #if she can leave then she really is just there to have a chance to enjoy the hunt in a setting where it’s expected #encouraged even #death games as a way to satisfy her bloodlust so it doesn’t spill over someplace where it might Actually Hurt #death games to take the edge off #death games to get a chance to reveal the fangs behind her grin and the sharp points of her antlers #we call her a deer because that’s the closest thing our minds can connect to her appearance #but she’s always been a little too Other for that #oh and now the Void has taken root in her too #it’s claimed her eye and arm #maybe it helped guide her aim #or maybe she’s always been a creature of the space between worlds (what with the way she hops between them)