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itsgrimeytime · 1 year

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The Nurse (Part One) || Rick Grimes (TWD)

Summary: Before all this, you were a nurse. A nurse who had patients, one of which was a man in a coma. A sheriff, you think, it was all kinda fuzzy now. When it all went sideways, you set up what you could for the man - but had to leave. You'd always wondered where he'd ended up; until in your search of shelter, you run into a familiar face.

TWS: Blood, gore, hospital setting, gun violence (just violence in general), swearing, all things typical of TWD.

It was an easy day. Or, it was supposed to be. Hell, you had dinner plans. But, working at a hospital isn't always so smooth sailing.

That day you'd just been doing routine, checking up on patients and running files back to the cabinets, taking tests to the lab. You'd just had a breath, eating some incredibly stale pretzels from the vending machine when your pager had started to ping.

And in a blink, there was a rush of feet echoing down the hallway.

"Holy shit," you murmured, launching to your feet, and tossing your trash out with ease. The murmur of frantic beeping and tones you recognized launched you into action.

Just as you poked out of the room, a gurney made its way through the hallway, doctors you knew following closely behind. A familiar stain of red grabbed your eye in the flash that you saw.

"Dr. Madison, what-"

Without breaking a step, they continued rushing down the hall, the man in the gurney, surprisingly quiet.

"Gunshot wound left shoulder," he answered to you, but also just kind of stated, "We're headed to OR 3."

"Is there any family?" You spoke, tone concerned, eager to help how you could.

"Yes, yes. The waiting room, his partner," Dr. Madison, "-police partner."

"Fuck, he's an officer?"

Dr. Madison didn't answer, as the man started to become restless, blue eyes becoming fuzzy. As you found yourself following the gurney, you weren't needed in the OR, but you'd always had a talent for calming patients.

With a look to Dr. Madison, he gave you a nod, and you made your way to the front, "Sir?"

There was a lot of noise, the murmur of machines, the spinning of the gurney wheels, and the tones of the different doctors discussing the amount of blood he was losing but you still heard it.

"Rick," he spoke, in a breathy southern drawl, "-call me Rick."

"Rick," you smiled, a little relief he seemed to be able to communicate, "Hi, Rick, I'm nurse Y/N. Do you-"

There was a breath before his eyes flicked around himself, widening and looking back at you - bright blues, "Where's... Where's Carl and Lori?"

You gently placed a hand on his, to calm him, "Is that your family, Rick?"

"M-My wife, and kid. God, where's my kid?"

"Rick, listen," you spoke, drawing his attention with your hands trying to keep him from moving so much, "-I will find them for you, okay? Your family is safe."

"Promise me, you'll find them," he spoke, breathy, and his eyes cleared of their haze for a second. The blue was like a clear sky; you felt as if he was staring into your soul, and your breath hitched.

"Promise me."

With an exhale, you spoke of your own accord, "I promise."

He leaned back with a cough, but there was some relief there, you could see it. You fell behind the gurney's speed, and felt a shake in your breaths, watching as it disappeared behind an elevator door.

"I promise," you breathed out solidly, and tried to shake the burn of his gaze from your memory.

That was two weeks ago.

Rick Grimes had been in a coma immediately after his surgery, well, after being put to sleep, he never seemed to wake up. Dr. Madison had with ease put him under your care, a trust that was added onto your list, but you hadn't minded, not really.

You'd met Shane first, out in the waiting room, eyes frantic and his hair sticking up from where he seemed to tug on it -his eyes latching on yours. There were a few officers by him, both with hands on his shoulders and they stayed there, as you relayed what you were told to him.

'Is he gonna be okay?'

You told him what you could, doing updates from the OR as soon as you got them. Within a few minutes, more officers had come in tow with a woman -tall, and pretty with brunette hair- and a young boy -the same eyes you'd seen in his father's.

It stuck with you for a second. The pure blue holding onto every word you spoke.

They stuck with you, even more, the hour that they'd confirmed his comatose state, the tremble of the two's lips, and the tone the son spoke to you.

"You have to take care of him," he muttered, eyes shining and watery, "-you have to save him, please."

And with familiarity, you spoke -warm and calm, "I promise."

Despite your promise, you watched as the weeks passed -the light filtering out of their eyes. Rick stayed completely still, the hum of his breathing being the only sound echoing out of the room. Carl, who you had come to know well, stayed as long as he could -talking about any and everything with his dad. Lori sat by his side mostly, holding his hand and rubbing a thumb across the back of it. Shane started at a distance but began to hold her shoulders as they looked at his sleeping face.

And by the third week, the news started to implode, and you were often needed in other rooms. News of airborne sickness growing within the hospital, within dead people.

Visitors weren't allowed in. All staff was kept in.

Rick was still in a comatose state, and all you had were phone calls with the family but eventually, they stopped too. You'd call, but the line was cut -you assumed no one was home.

The reports had stopped even going through, rooms locked with reanimated faces pushing against the glass - some faces you knew and others you never would. Despite the air of the hospital being much different than it once was, you took your duties as seriously as you could.

Patient by patient and doctor by doctor, the hospital began to be infested - no longer locked rooms, but locked wards, operating rooms, and boarded windows. One of the last days you were there, was the day you found Dr. Madison. His face was deteriorating, skin drooping, and blood dried up, god when did he die?

With an exhale, you boarded up what you could and primarily focused on your last patient: Rick Grimes. The world was crumbling around you, but you couldn't leave him -after frantically searching his body for teeth marks, you didn't find any. He could still live.

"It's going to be hell when you wake up, Rick," you spoke, voice scratchy and unused -hair slick with sweat, "-real fucking hell."

When you decided to leave the hospital, it wasn't an easy decision. Not when your morals were so set when your job wasn't complete, but you knew you had to.

So, that day (god only knows the actual date) you started gathering what you could, medicine, bandages, probably expired vending machine snacks, water, and some sort of weapon.

Originally, in the early stages, the hospital simply treated it like a disease- quarantining the sick, and going in with hazmat suits. You watched one of your coworkers get torn to pieces by a simple human jaw.

Then it was locking them in rooms, and drafting cure ideas -along with some intel from a few top scientists, it never quite got too far.

You'd done it first, cornered in the room you'd taken to be your own by one you'd known -a patient that had been there for months, just waiting on a new organ. She'd wanted to be an artist.

You'd cried for 3 days after that, blood smeared all over your face and your hands. They shook for a week after, and sometimes, you still saw the stains on your hands -even though you'd scrubbed it all away as soon as you found an available space.

With all the preparations, you returned to Rick's room.

It was still the same room it had been all those weeks ago, except for the drawn curtains and distant growls that echoed through the hall no matter where you were. Wiping away your eyes, you set to work.

You couldn't be there, but you would be sure he could survive without you. Gathering extra resources and enforcing the windows, your eyes fell on the man. He looked the same, except for the scruff on his chin; and suddenly you remembered Lori kept shaving it -each week she came in and paid extra attention to his skin. Carl and Shane would step out, it always seemed so intimate as she shaved his face - holding it as gently as she could and sometimes she'd be crying. Tears silently falling with the smooth movement of her hands.

You had left during that time as well, only saw in glimpses the gentle touch and affection. If his family was out there... he'd want to be clean-shaven. You owed him that much.

With a breath, you rummaged around in your overnight bag you packed what felt so long ago. It was for when shifts got long, and this one certainly has gotten long.

Finding a razor was easy, and grabbing a lotion from one of the old offices was even easier -they all had been sitting and smelt a little off but you figured it was the best you could do.

And with a shallow breath, you took the razor and shaved the scruff off, a more familiar face appearing in your mind. The motion so intimate it filled a craving in you that you hadn't yet identified. A pleased feeling that somewhere out there, his family would recognize him.

With a bottle of water and a snack left by his bedside, you stepped out of the room and set to make a defense. You locked every room you could, and at the end of the hallway, you boarded up what you could -grateful for the graffiti warning those of what was ahead.

With a breath, you turned around to head out of the hospital, and the fear that crept up your throat was nothing compared to the itching to escape the vicinity. The stink of the dead overwhelmed your nose, and you weren't even sure it could ever get cleared out. Not after being surrounded so heavily by the smell of rotting flesh.

The blood from the corpses that found themselves in your way wasn't exactly helping.

You half wished you'd brought that horrid-smelling lotion, just for something different.

With a gust of breath, you found yourself out of the hospital with blood-drenched hands and eyes clouded in a fuzzy survival instinct.

Inhaling the air in tremendous gulps, you watched the stranded city -eyes solidly on anything that seemed out of place. Your senses had only tripled, but the sun gently shining on your skin had made your body warm with something familiar.

Something you'd missed. Hope.

With a calming exhale, you turned back to the hospital with the sun in the sky and smiled, "Good luck, Rick Grimes."

A/N: Posting this with a plan of a series, but I guess that depends on the vibes and if people like it! Reblogs and comments are appreciated :))

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x you #twd #the walking dead #stuff n' thangs #nurse!reader #doctor!reader #apocalypse shit #the nurse #fanfic in progress #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction

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delimeful · 4 years

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you will see a better day

donation drive commission for @starrykid with the prompt: Remus dealing with intrusive thoughts and the others helping him through it.

warnings: canon setting, intrusive thoughts (a fair amount), gore mentions, implications of thoughts of self harm, Remus Going Thru It

Before, whenever he had a Bad Day, it was just more fuel on the trash fire that was his brain.

It was routine: Remus would wake up with a litany of grotesque images on the back of his eyelids, present every time he blinked or squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. These thoughts weren’t the fun kind of gross, the type that was fascinating or funny. They weren’t fun because he didn’t choose them, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get rid of them if he didn’t like them.

Guess that was how everyone else felt about you. Remus mashed a pillow over his own face as though it would muffle his own mind. What a stupid thought. He was a luxury few could afford, thank-you-very-much!

Back then, as soon as possible, he would find someone else in the Mindscape to bother, because if he had to deal with the awful thoughts carving and chipping away at the inside of his skull, it was only fair to share.

That was before, when things had been black and white and he could be a monster all he pleased because it wasn’t like anyone else thought differently. It wasn’t like Thomas thought differently.

Until he did.

And now they were all in one muddled up Mindscape and the others were trying, making an effort to clot their own bad habits and setting a place for him at the table. It was slow-going, like shoving a square peg into a circular hole, but it was also the most he’d ever had. Until something splintered, he was going to soak in every minute of it.

Or at least, that was his plan, up until he hit another Bad Day like a semi truck hit thrice-dead roadkill.

Same thoughts, same pounding (heh) headache. The difference was, now he couldn’t go word-vomit all over the nearest Side until he felt a little less like he was drowning. He was working to keep the delicate peace in his own way, and that meant not bothering the others with his… himself-ness on days like these.

He couldn’t stay in his room all day, though. For one it was boring, and for two, ever since they’d all agreed to try and cohabitate, Patton and Janus in particular were insistent on checking in if anyone acted strange. Cooping up in his room and not being his usual fantastically sickening and outrageous self would definitely pop up on their radar. If that happened, there was no way he could fool Janus outright. He preferred his own brand of frank honesty anyways, so clearly the only solution was to behave normally enough that nobody looked twice.

His version of normal, anyhow.

He groaned loudly and then dragged in a breath, manifesting a pair of slippers that looked uncannily like dead fish onto his feet. He would just have to put his excellent acting skills to use.

—-

Remus’s willpower was put to the test as soon as he reached the kitchen. A new record of his ability to destroy plans, this must be why Janus never told him anything.

Patton was spinning himself in circles on one of the round stools by the bar counter, humming a cartoon theme brightly to himself. At the stovetop, Virgil was sedately flipping pancakes, an easy set to his shoulders that meant he had probably recently taken a long-overdue nap in Logan’s room.

Normally, Remus would already be halfway into teasing the hell out of him, but now his brain felt scrambled with panic. Virgil was particularly susceptible to getting dragged into the cycle of intrusive thoughts on days like these, which meant the anxious Side was the last one he wanted to run into at the moment.

Two birds with one brick, his stupid hell brain suggested slyly. Send Virgil into a spiral and then it’ll be him who gets nagged, his fault for ruining the friendly atmosphere.

Stop it. Remus’s face twitched into a self-directed snarl for a moment, and he forced the thought away as Patton finally slowed his rotation to smile dizzily at him.

“Remus! Good morning!”

Virgil glanced over his shoulder, sending Remus’s heart rate briefly into the triple digits. Be normal be normal be normal. “Hey, Re. Morning.”

He didn’t even notice. So much for being your friend. If you’re subtle enough, you could sidle up behind him and smash his face into the hot burner—

“WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS!” Remus shouted, teeth spread in a too-wide grin. He bounced into the kitchen, depositing an assorted handful of teeth (his preferred currency) into the swear jar before Patton could say anything, and planted himself on the middle bar stool.

Patton scooted one stool closer to be next to him, because of course he did. Remus resisted the urge to start prying out handfuls of hair, his own or— no. Toned down, he was keeping it toned down. Buttcheek on a stick, this was difficult.

“Want to spin with me?” Patton asked, shifting antsily from side to side with barely contained energy.

“Whoever pukes first wins?” Remus replied automatically, and felt a bright burst of giddy joy when Patton giggle-snorted instead of recoiling.

“I think upchuck is actually supposed to mean you lose your lunch and the spinning contest, kiddo.”

Of course it did. You were designed to be the loser, even if you try to change the rules.

Remus knew that this time Patton had spotted the way his lips twitched down into a grimace, but before the fatherly side could say anything, there was the clink of ceramic plates on the counter in front of them.

“No spinning and/or vomiting if you want to eat my pancakes,” Virgil demanded, wielding a spatula threateningly at them as he clicked the stovetop off. “We’ll never hear the end of it from Princey if he has to reconjure all the furniture.”

Irrational, heated anger burned through him. Like Virgil could do anything to stop you. Social interaction was enough to give the guy a panic attack, he couldn’t tell Remus to do or not do anything—

“You good, Re?” Virgil asked, and he jerked, avoiding the other Side’s gaze as though eye contact would expose his thoughts. After a beat too long, his mind finally caught up with the plate in front of him.

His pancake was covered in a truly disgusting amount of cheese and ketchup, the way he always requested it back when they’d all been Dark Sides. Despite the fact that he always made a face back then, Virgil had made a point to remember, had done it without asking.

Like ravenous wolves, his thoughts instantly turned against him.

Pathetic. How could you think things like that about people who trust you? You shouldn’t even be here, pretending to be a person. You deserve everything coming to you.

His hand made it halfway to the fork sitting innocently next to his plate before he remembered himself. Virgil was still looking at him, clearly having caught the motion, and Remus lowered his hand, white-knuckled.

“Me, good? That’s a funny one, V-mo!” he tried to joke, but the odd edge to his voice made it fall flat. Virgil was outright frowning now, and out of the corner of his vision Patton’s eyebrows were drawing together.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asked, his frame tight with tension and his gaze drilling into Remus. “Are you hurt?”

“I could be!” Remus blurted, trying to keep his tone saucy but ending up with something closer to desperate. “You ever think maybe bashing my skull in would be better than having to deal with its contents?”

The two of them winced, and he knew he’d given himself away completely. Shit.

Virgil reached out, and then stopped himself before he could make contact. Can you blame him? Jumping into an electrified tank of leeches would be more comfortable than willingly exposing himself to you.

Something of his internal diatribe must have shown on Remus’s face, because Virgil’s hesitant expression flickered into regret.

“Shit,” he swore, and this time Patton didn’t chide him. “I can’t-- I don’t want to send you into a spiral, Re. If I touch you, we’re just going to be stuck in a feedback loop of bad thoughts.”

“Like how you’re perpetually stuck in 2009?” Remus offered, instead of listing all the ways he could feasibly remove Virgil’s eyes from their sockets. It would almost be fun, if it wasn’t his friend’s eyes he was contemplating prying out with a spoon handle.

Virgil’s lips pulled up slightly. “Yeah, just like that. I’m gonna go get the others. They’ll be able to help you for real.”

He sunk out, and Remus’s head started to ache more severely as terrible and often gory predictions for the future began to crowd his mind. He shoved his hands into the roots of his hair and tugged ferociously.

“Hey, buddy, you shouldn’t pull on your hair like that,” a concerned voice chimed in. Remus had almost forgotten Patton was still there, sitting only a seat away.

He pulled harder on his hair, both out of spite and to distract himself from the urge to summon a weapon and see if Patton would still look at you with so much pity if you shanked his ass and tied his intestines into little bows.

“Hey, what do you call a seasick croc?” Patton asked, abruptly enough that Remus managed to shake his train of thought. He glanced up to look at the Heart, who offered him a tremulous mischievous smile. “A crocobile.”

Remus snorted, and Patton’s smile seemed to firm up.

“How about, why do ducks have tail feathers?” the moral Side asked in that same leading tone.

Remus thought for a minute. “‘Cause otherwise they’d lose their balance in flight and go splat against the nearest window?”

“I mean, maybe, but also!” Patton held up a finger for emphasis. “They have tail feathers to cover their… butt-quacks.”

There was a beat of anticipation where they both stared at each other, and then Remus threw his head back and outright cackled. Patton fist pumped in delight.

“I thought you might like that one, kiddo,” he said, beaming. Before Remus could reply, possibly with an atrocious pun of his own, Roman strode into the room.

There was a brief, awkward pause as the two of them made eye contact. Patton looked rapidly between them with concern, and Remus couldn’t blame him. Even now, their one-on-one interactions tended to end with vicious spats. They were too good, too practiced at pressing each other's buttons to settle into the newfound peace easily.

“... Bad one?” he finally asked, as though he could spot the wrong-evil-awful all over Remus from a mile away. Remus felt his expression drop into an irritable glower worthy of Anxiety, but before he could retort, Roman was seating himself primly on the communal couch.

He ran his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck in a nervous habit Remus constantly teased him about, and then straightened his shoulders and patted the cushion next to him. “I’ll… like when we were kids. If you want.”

Despite Patton’s confused head tilt, Remus got it immediately, and ignored the screaming violence in his head in favor of bodily throwing himself over the couch, jostling the hell out of his brother and eliciting a Grade-A Bitchface from him in the process. Remus grinned maliciously in return.

“Do the one that looks like a snake,” he demanded, running a hand through his hair and lengthening it. Of course, in addition, thick clumps of hair ended up falling out entirely, leaving weird-feeling bald patches that might have been interesting if he’d actually intended to create them.

“On purpose or don’t want it?” Roman asked, echoing a familiar question from their childhood. It had been a royal decree, before they grew so divided, that one had to ask before ‘fixing’ anything the other did, just in case it was on purpose.

“How are you supposed to braid what isn’t there?” Remus grumbled, gnawing on the inside of his cheek as he unwillingly imagined restapling his hair to his skull. “Don’t want it.”

Roman dragged his fingers through Remus’s hair, lengthening it until it was long enough to do all sorts of stupid-complicated braids. He also made the new hair unforgivably glossy and apple-scented, but Remus could get him back for that later, when he was sure it wouldn’t be (nails through nasal cavities, a cloud of suffocating darkness, decaying hands pulling you down into freshly turned soil and burying you alive) disproportionate retribution.

Two braids later, Logan appeared, rising up in the mindscape with his tie perfectly aligned but lab goggle imprints around his eyes. He only took a moment to absorb the scene, as though it was normal that everyone was crowding around Remus attentively. “Virgil informed me that you could use some assistance?”

Remus snorted. “Maybe you can perform some impromptu brain surgery to stop me thinking? Hey, if you don’t use anesthetic, I promise not to squirm too much, doc.”

“I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school,” Roman quoted absently, still caught up in combining three braids together into one.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Regardless of my unfortunately lacking PhD status, I believe brain surgery to ‘stop one thinking’ is also colloquially referred to as an induced coma.”

“Perfect!” Remus cheered, and then yelped when Roman tugged on his hair harshly in retribution. Patton was making that half-pitiful, half-furious face that he always made whenever the emo talked bad about himself, strangely enough.

“There are plenty of adjectives I could use to describe such a solution, but none of them would be ‘perfect’, Remus,” Logan continued. “A more effective and patient-friendly answer would be addressing your irritating or harmful thoughts through the use of various mental health tactics.”

Easy for him to say. “That might work for Tommy-boy, but I am the harmful or irritating thoughts, remember?”

“Falsehood.” Logan declared, proving that no matter what aspect of Thomas they were, the Sides were all dramatic theater kid bastards at heart. “It has become increasingly clear that while we all formed to handle certain tasks or aspects, we are all increasingly complex at heart. None of us can be diminished to simply one trait. In the same way that Virgil is much more than the experience of anxiety, there is no logical reason to reduce yourself to the thoughts that you struggle with.”

Remus shook his head, though he wasn’t sure what part of the assertion he was resisting. Logan folded himself into a sitting position and reached over for Remus’s hand, his touch grounding.

“You’ve gotten through days like this before. You’ll continue to do so after,” Logan told him.

“I got through Bad Days by making everyone’s day bad,” Remus retorted. “I’m not you, but I’m not stupid. Nobody wants me making it into a communal event.”

“That’s what family’s for though,” Patton said, shifting closer from his own spot on the rug. “Listening. Helping. Having each other’s backs when things get tough!”

Logan’s grip didn’t falter. Roman’s presence was solid at his back. Remus was beginning to wonder if he’d snorted something hallucinogenic recently.

“The sentiment is admirable, if a bit hypocritical,” a familiar voice chimed in, and Remus looked up to see Janus leaning elegantly against the kitchen archway. Virgil elbowed his way past, ruining the dramatic pose and flopping down on the couch next to Remus. He bumped his shoe against Remus’s leg in quiet camaraderie.

“Hypocritical?” Logan echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“Unless you’d like to tell me that everyone here has no problems whatsoever asking for help or expressing vulnerability on their bad days,” Janus proposed, smugly.

Logan inclined his head slightly. “Point.”

“Regardless, that doesn’t make Logic or Morality incorrect.” Janus looked at Remus intently. “None of us are allowed to simply suffer in silence, anymore.”

“I didn’t exactly suffer in silence before,” he pointed out, sounding uncannily sensible. Probably from the nerd’s proximity.

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem now, hmm?” Janus replied.

Logan sighed at them all, collectively, in general. “Look at it from this angle, Remus. Your previous coping mechanism was generally detrimental due to your lack of options and isolation. Now, you have neither of those holding you back. With knowledge and assistance, you can only improve from here on out.”

Now, that was doubtful. “And what if I don’t, huh? What if I just get worse?”

“Then we’ll still be here.” Logan squeezed his hand, and Janus confirmed his words with a nod, and even though his mind was cluttered and overwhelming, they were all still there at his side without complaint.

Maybe it wasn’t too much to ask, after all.

“Well, what are we trying first?”

#sanders sides #ts remus #ts janus #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts virgil #donation drive #commissioned works #writing #my writing #starrykid #woohoo!#hurt/comfort #found family

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wonderlandinrope · 6 years

Text

Time Part 2

Sam X Reader

Warnings: Some angst, some fluff

Summary: After Sam meets with Anna to discuss specifics about getting to know his daughter. A few complications arise.

Part 2

Being as quiet as possible to avoid waking up his brother Sam shut the door to the old motel slowly, while his thoughts raced with images of his long-lost daughter. A big grin reaching from ear to ear, making his cheeks ache. Of course, it wasn’t just Grace that drew him like a magnet, Anna was a compass pointing him north. They had hit it off so well, so naturally, it was the type of connection that was instant. Hoping that the next day would go as well as this one. Perhaps one day he could put the hunting business behind him.

A soft rustle of sheets moved in the dark motel room, followed by the blinding light of a bedside table lamp. Blinking to readjust his vision he took in the small room no different from any other they had stayed in in the past. Two beds, a Tv, a dresser, and closet. Bathroom at the back and mini fridge and microwave next to the TV. This room had sunset photos around the room with matching curtains.

“What time is it?” Dean rubbed his face turning to look at his phone. “Damn man I thought you said you were headed right back.”

Walking past Dean, Sam collapses on the bed. He had a few drinks before returning to the motel. “I couldn’t I need some time to think by myself. I got some interesting news today.” Trying to ease into telling his brother about Grace, and Anna. Sitting up on the edge of the bed across from Dean he rubbed his hands nervously. Dean waited, knowing that if he interrupted at this point he may never hear what his brother had to say. “Turns out Anna went to Stanford the same time I did.”

“Okay. Well, that’s great glad you could catch up with her.” It wasn’t that Dean didn’t care about Anna or was not interested in her. She was very attractive, kind too, what was there not to like. But at this point, there were still children getting hurt, so unless it had to do with solving the case and ganking a monster Dean wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“It turns out we have more in common than that though.” Sam paused again looking at the ground.

“Huh, Dude if you're going to play 50 questions I’m going to bed.” Dean stated Exhaustion present in his voice.

“I’ve got a kid Dean.” Sam released the words turning the moment into a running of the bulls. He could stand his ground risking getting gored by the bull or run away avoiding the fight. “And I’m going to meet her tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry what?” Anger mixed with fear of uncertainty, as Dean began to take in the information he’d been handed.

“I’m a dad!” Saying the word brought so much energy to Sam he stood waving his hands he went over the whole story of how he and Anna met once in college. That she only remembered him after they had talked at the school. He told Dean about Grace, taking out a photo that Anna had given him. “Tomorrow I’m going to meet her. I know we’ve got the case and I am still working on it. While I’m with Anna and Grace I’ll just ask a few questions about. Who knows maybe Grace knows something that we missed. She’s a kid but Anna says she’s sharp as a tack. And… Why are you laughing?” Sam paused mid-rant.

Dean giving into a full body laugh, throwing back his head, then slowly gaining his bearings, wiping away a tear. “It’s just so funny, out of the two of us who would have thought you would be the one to knock up some chick!”

Dropping his arms, Sam spoke cautiously. “You’re not mad?”

“No, man this is great! I’m an uncle. And don’t worry about the case tomorrow. I’ve got a few leads I want to check out. Get to know her. Any idea as to what you're going to do after when we leave?” Dean doing his best to sound encouraging. Walking over to the fridge he handed Sam a beer. “Congrats man.”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” But it wasn’t that he had forgotten it was that he didn’t want to think about leaving. It was difficult enough to leave tonight. Leaving after he really got to know Grace sounded impossible already.

“Well one step at a time right?” Dean said.

The brothers spent the next morning doing research, making calls and for the most part following the same routine that they did with most of the cases. When the clock turned over to show 1130 Sam closed out his laptop and began to organize his work. A feeling of belonging already washing over him. It didn’t take long for Dean to catch on as Sam rushed to find his phone and wallet.

“I’ll drive!” Dean rushed out the door after Sam.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked.

“I’m tagging along to meet my niece.” Dean glowed with pride at the word.

“No your not. Anna told me not to tell Grace I was her father, there’s no way she’d be ok with you showing up.” Sam protested.

“Oh common! I’m not going to say anything to the kid.” He countered.

Sliding in the passenger's side of the car Sam continued to argue back and forth with Dean about meeting Grace. Dean mostly just trying to get him to relax and throwing jokes out, not really being serious about any of it. They were halfway to Anna’s when Sam instructed Dean to pull into a small toy store on the way. Rushing in then emerging only five minutes later holding a rather large German shepherd stuffie. Looking at Sam with a blank face Dean just stared.

“What? Anna Said she likes dogs.” Sam mumbled.

Pulling up in front of the little two-story log cabin the brothers eyed the place for a moment Sam’s leg bounced up and down, taking a deep breath he got out taking the stuffed animal with him. Dean calling after him telling him that it would be fine and not to be nervous. Kids smell fear. Sam felt his heart begin to pick up speed as he got closer to the door. He had faced vampires, werewolves, ghouls, Demons. But this moment was one of the most terrifying he had yet faced.

Fixing his shirt then, taking a deep breath, he pulled open the screen door knocking on the main door. He could hear giggling on the other side followed by little footsteps moving hurriedly across the floor. The door opened slowly, revealing a six-year-old with wide, curious, hazel eyes, and raven black hair. She was tall for her age but still seemed to shrink back clinging to her mother that stood just to the right. A warm welcoming smile that touched her eyes.

Anna POV

Grace had an unusual amount of energy this morning, running around chasing after this or that, bouncing off the walls as she made up a game to entertain herself. She built an army of barbies and plush toys, talked to herself in different voices going off into her own little world. Then rushing off to the next activity. Only settling momentarily to read a book for a few minutes while Anna cleaned getting ready for Sam. After cleaning the house and making sure the place looked as decent as it could with a six-year-old running around, Anna took a moment to explain to grace what was supposed to happen that day.

“Pumpkin can you listen to mummy for a moment?” Anna’s sweet voice calling her daughter’s attention back to the real world.

“What is mummy?” Grace could feel the tension in the air. She always had a sixth sense about what her mother was going through.

“Do you remember yesterday when that man stopped by?” Anna broke down the basic need to know information. Grace nodded, sitting criss-cross on the couch. “Well his name is Sam and he will be joining us today for a little while. Doesn’t that sound like fun!”

Grace ducked her head down “But he’s a giant! Aren’t they mean?”

“I already told you he isn’t a giant.” Anna rolled her eyes at her daughters need to insist with the giant shtick. “Sam is very nice and only wants to get to know you. I think you're really going to like him.”

Grace sighed dramatically. “Do I have too!”

“Yes. I promise you will have a lot of fun.” Anna did her best to sound confident.

Grace looked around the room wide eyes following something that her mother could not see. Suddenly taking her mother's hand squeezing it tight, snuggling in close. Anna knew this wasn't real sadness. This was a tactic that Grace had used hundreds of times before, she was trying to butter her up, to get her own way. And normally it might have worked however this wasn’t the occasion that could be solved with a hug.

“I know he scared you the other day. But like I said, he thought that we were hurt and was just trying to help. Promise you’ll give him a chance.” It wasn’t a question.

Nodding her heard Grace gave her mother a hug. A small grin returning to its proper place. They both laughed, as Grace ran off the couch grabbing her colored pencils and some paper. Declaring that she would draw a picture, and make a list of everything she wanted to do that way “this Sam person” wouldn’t get any ideas about trying to boss her around. Making a comment about how she hoped that Nick, her imaginary friend would like Sam.

A knock came to the door just as the clock turned 12. More excited this time Grace jumped leaving her pencils strewn across the coffee table. Anna emerged from the kitchen following close behind. Grace grabbing throwing the door open only to have her excitement dwindle. Anna stood behind her encouraging the young girl to be brave. This was a day that she thought she would never see, but was beyond elated to have the dream of seeing her daughter meet the father she never knew about. Even if it was under false pretenses.

“Hello, You must be Grace.” Sam leaned down trying to get on the child's level recalling how she called him a giant. “I have something for you.”

Graces distrust dissipated as she took the plush toy in her arms hugging it tight around its neck. “You’re a nice giant aren’t you! Like in BFG.”

Sam didn’t even finch only nodding. “Just like in BFG. Your mother tells me you like to read.” Anna nodded as Sam walked in Grace now carefully playing with the ears of her new toy. “I like to read too. What’s your favorite book?”

“I like Charlotte's Web. But Alice in Wonderland is my favorite. Mommy and I read it almost every night!” She boasted. Forgetting her shyness she took Sam’s hand leading him over to the coffee table. “I made a list of all the things we around going to do today.”

Anna looked at Sam waiting for him to freak and run any second. But he only nodded going over the list that was mostly scribbles. “She worked very hard on that list, but I already warned her that we may not get to everything.” Already she found herself giving him excuses to leave or get out early.

“Nonsense.” Sam waved his hand, dismissing anything that may take him away from the little girl looking up at him. “I guarantee we will finish the list. So what’s first?”

Once more Anna was surprised how easily he seemed to fit into their world, she clung to the hope that he wouldn’t run off or disappear. Though he gave no indication of doing so. She saw how much fun Grace was already having, smiling from ear to ear going over everything she had written down. Sam was driving head first into a world he had never experienced before but doing so with gusto, not letting anything faze him.

The afternoon was spent running around playing board games, playing Barbies. Grace pulled out some bows and hair ties. Insisting that she fix his hair, calling her mother to help her braid it. Anna took a picture of the two smiling laughing as Sam’s hair jutted in every direction. It was a priceless moment, making them both laugh. Grace enjoying the time with the two more and more as each moment passed, taking it upon herself to invite Sam to stay for dinner.

“I’m sure Sam has dinner plans already.” Anna didn’t want to push him away but thought it best to end the day on a good note. Sam’s cheery disposition faltered just a little Anna could see it but grace was too busy pulling on her mother shirt. “Maybe Sam would like to come back another day?”

“Please Sam?” Grace turning her puppy dog eyes on her new friend.

“I can come back anytime you want.” Sam hosting her up in a big bear hug he could smell the artificial strawberry of her shampoo. Her arms wrapped around his neck was the most incredible feeling in the world. As if nothing could ever go wrong he never wanted this feeling to end. “Besides I have to wait for my ride.”

“Great! We can make a castle out of my blocks!” Grace ran off to collect the ones she’d forgotten to clean earlier. Leaving Anna and Sam to talk.

“I have to say I’m impressed for. Not too many can get on her good side that fast.” Moving around the kitchen Anna began to pull out some food to prep for dinner. “That and you did well for having never really worked with kids. Most men scrabble.”

“I’m not most men though, and she’s more to me than just some kid.” Sam was glowing happier than he’d ever been. “What time can I come by tomorrow?”

Trying to reach for a few plates placed a shelf too high Anna stood on her tiptoes only to have Sam come up behind her easily taking them down handing them to her. “Well, Grace has violin lessons in the afternoon so earlier might be better.”

“She plays the violin?” Sam couldn’t believe how incredible his little girl had turned out. How much more she would learn and this time around with any luck he would be around to see it. “You’ve done such an amazing job raising her.”

Grace came running around the corner hugging her dog close. “There’s a man at the door mommy!” Grace grabbed her mother’s hand returning to the shy child that she had been when Sam first arrived.

“Thank you for telling me baby girl.” A child in tow Anna walked to the door.

Sam also close at her heels slightly on edge worried about who was at the door. A million scenarios flashing through his mind, even with just having met them he felt the need to protect them at all costs. When Anna opened the door Grace let go of her taking Sams hand instead, holding it tight. Sam giving reassuring smiles taking her up into his arms again. The door opened standing on the other side was Dean smiling slyly his green eyes bright against the poorly lit porch.

“Hey, you must be Anna. I’m Dean.” Extending his hand out to Anna shook it smiling not skipping a beat.

“Thank you for loaning me your brother today we had so much fun. Didn’t we Grace.” Taking in the sight of Grace clinging to Sam as if he could protect her from anything it took Anna’s breath away. Making her heart stop for a moment. “Grace it’s ok this is the officer that stopped by mommies class yesterday remember?”

Grace ducked her head down not wanting to look up. Shaking it into Sam’s shoulder, mumbling something. Before reaching for her mother. Looking at Dean who was giving another little wave she flashed a quick grin. But wouldn’t answer.

“Well it was nice to meet you kiddo.” Dean gave a chuckle before turning his focus back to his brother. “We gotta go. Work thing came up.”

Catching the unspoken conversation that past between the two men, Anna did her best to put out any thoughts that may have indicated that there was more to it. Things were going well so far and she didn’t want to jeopardize her daughter's relationship with Sam. Confirming a time to meet the next day they left the house, which was now almost unsettlingly quiet. Grace scrabbling out of her mother's arms ran to the front window. Kneeling on the couch leaning forward she pressed her face against the window as the Impala raced off.

As Sam watched his little girl fade from view he was already looking forward to the next day. Determined to spend as much time with Grace and Anna as possible he was already forming a plan to focus on hunting in the immediate area, or perhaps only during the week when Anna was working and Grace was in school. He knew that it wasn’t the best plan seeing as nothing about hunting was that simple however it was a start. He didn’t want to let them down by running off so soon.

“You make any headway today?” Sam asked setting aside the topic for another day.

“Yeah I think I figured it out. Before the school was a public it was a reform school. A few of the students that attended were far from what we might call role models. At one point the students went nuts killed attacked a few kids, a teacher had to step in. It ended bloody.” Dean’s tone was dark.

“So we have a bunch of violent ghosts that like to pick on kids. You have the locations of the graves?” Completely focused now Sam was ready to work.

Tossing a map to his brother Dean was confident that he had resolved the case. “Right here.”

“Then what are we waiting? For let’s get this done.”

Burning the bodies was bittersweet moment for Sam. It meant that the case was over and there should be no more children in the line of danger. No more young kids begging put into the hospital, and of course he had more at stake now, those students were all in Graces class. So it was difficult not to picture Grace in their place. Thankfully it was over now. Of course, this also meant that it was time to move on to the next case, which meant moving to the next city when the time came. Till then He would stick around, Somehow he would have to break the news to Anna and Grace, He had lived his whole life not knowing they existed, but knew with certainty that to leave would now mean leaving his life behind.

When Sam showed up the next day to see Grace. Anna was waiting for him at the door, arms crossed, a scowl on her face. She looked like she was ready to throw punches. A physical barrier between him and the house. Something was very obviously wrong, Sam stopped just before the first step. He met her stone glare with one of confusion and submission. Not wanting to upset her anymore he waited for her to speak.

Uncrossing her arms she pointed at him opening her mouth then closing it again searching for the right words. “You had no right! I told you not to say anything, that it would be too much for her to understand! But no you thought why the hell not.” Bringing her fist to her side she wiped an angry tear from her cheek. “You selfish prick. If it were up to me I would tell you to never come back but it’s up to her now and she wants you to stay.”

“I’m sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about.” He went to take a step forward but stopped when the furry rose again within her.

“The hell you don’t! This morning she came to asking when her father was coming to visit. Thinking she made a mistake I asked what she was talking about. She told me that Nickel told her you were her father. You are going to break her heart.” Bearing holding it together she focused all her hated on him, wishing that she’d never taken the chance at letting him into their lives.

“Who’s Nickel? And I didn’t say anything. I would never tell her that without your Ok. Do you really think I would jeopardize the only good thing in my life?” Realizing he was in delicate position, Sam did his best to defend himself.

“I don’t know if you would or not. But all that matters that she knows, and she wants to see you.” Taking a breath than an exhaling slow to calm herself, Anna Stepped aside. “If you're going be in our lives, you need to know that the last time a man came into our lives she called father she got hurt. He left us both heartbroken, you can’t do that to her. Nickel is her imaginary friend. They do everything together. So if you leave her or break her heart, I will find you and I will hurt you to the point you wish you were dead.”

Swallowing a lump in his throat Sam nodded. Why did he scare her so much? He’d faced so many monsters but this human woman was somehow the most terrifying thing he’s ever encountered. Anna let him pass but not before giving he a few more daggered looks. He would have to choose his words carefully when he broke the news that he had to go back to work.

“Daddy!” Grace practically jumped into his arms. “I’ve got so much to tell you! Nickel told me that you’re a superhero! He’s really cool I’m so happy Nickel likes you.”

The word daddy made his heart jump, his stomach flip. He couldn’t help but feel pride wanting so badly live up to the name. However Sam had had experience with imaginary friends before, Zena, they were relatively innocent creatures, could Nickel be one of them. “Hey kiddo. What else did Nickel tell you?”

“He likes to be called Nick. He told me you and uncle Dean helped his friends. He said you help people and that the reason you couldn’t find me was that you were working.” She chatted away as she drew pictures of what he could only assume was Nickel.

“Well I’m here now and we don’t have to talk about my work.” Sam was chipper but knew he needed to move on from the topic before he got in more trouble with Anna.

“Nick says that you have to go back to work again soon. But I’m not worried, I know you’ll come back and visit me.” Grace wrote her name in large letters across the top of the page. “This is me. This is Nick. Mommy is over here. And you and uncle Dean are over here. It’s for you! So you remember to come back.”

While he knew he had to leave that afternoon it would be all the more difficult now. Taking it he wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you. I’ll keep it with me. Now, how about we go and finish that castle from yesterday.”

Anna watched from a distant, they needed this time together without her. And she needed time alone to think about how she would deal with the aftermath. While Grace was excited now she knew the excitement would come crashing down sooner or later. It would give way to the reality, Sam would run off sooner or later Grace would be heartbroken and Anna would be left to pick up the pieces.

In the kitchen, she could hear the two laughing, Sam's full body deep honest chuckle, Grace’s giggle that could light up the world. Staying in the kitchen she began to wash the dishes turning on the hot water to the point of near intolerance. Scrubbing a dish her mind began to wander her vision wondering over the bubbles watching them pop one by one. The sunlight pouring in through the window over the sink, shimmering off the water reflecting creating a rainbow.

“I knew what I was getting into.” She mumbled to herself. Grace would have found out sooner or later. This wasn’t a cut and dry situation, it was like any other part of parenting, there were no guidelines here. One step at a time. Thinking back to the other day and how much fun they had all had. Not just Grace and Sam but Anna too. They had hit it off well for the amount of drama and baggage that was being tossed around. Despite everything else she had to hand it to Sam he was doing an amazing job with Grace. Having had some time to reflect it was unfair to blame Sam for Grace finding out when she did. It was just as likely that Anna had said something in her sleep or possibly overheard Anna talking on the phone with Em the other night.

“Mommy!” Grace came in wrapping her arms around Anna’s waist. “Can we go to the playground? I want to show Sa- Daddy how I can do a flip on the monkey bars!”

Anna looked up Sam smiling shyly in the doorway. He was being cautious not to step on Anna’s toes. This was her house, her rules. And more than anything he knew that while he had 50 percent genetic right to Grace that’s all it was, genetic. In the last six years of her life, he had only been part of the last 2 days. It was up to Anna weather he remained in their lives. Only she had the final say.

Biting her lip Anna thought about all the children that had been getting hurt lately on the playground but also considered how it would be unfair to Grace to keep her locked up when it was just a bunch of accidents. “Alright. I’ll pack a lunch and we can have a picnic. Go clean up your toys.”

“Yes!” Grace went running around the corner in a rush to get out and enjoy the sunshine.

Drying off her hands Anna looked to Sam, “I want to apologize for earlier. I realized that I can be a little bit of a momma bear. I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

“It’s not a problem. You were just trying to protect her,” Rubbing the back of his neck contemplated a thought before gaining enough courage to speak up. “Listen, I don’t mean to sound like I am overstepping boundaries here, but I am her father. It’s my job to protect her too, to be there for her, and you are going to have to let me do that.”

To Anna’s surprise, she relaxed. In the past, she had her sister to rely on but it wasn’t the same thing as having someone completely committed to Grace. Sam was here putting himself on the line, he was doing the best that he could. “Alright. But I meant it when I said you hurt her your dead.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything different.” Sam smiled as they made their way out to the car.

#Sam X Reader #sam winchester #Dean winchester #Spn fanfic #fanfiction #Daddy!Sam #spm fandom #supernatural #cw supernatural

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