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sugarsugarmoon · 4 years

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Summary: Kim Seokjin had always been in your life. Like satellites you seemed to revolve around the same center, always coming back together. He had been the friend that would always be a constant in your life. When everything in your life starts to change and you feel like the trajectory of your orbit has changed, Seokjin is there to both hold you down and throw you even more out of control.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: recreational alcohol use, swearing, infidelity, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), bad dad jokes (I’m so sorry), a lot of tension, sexual and otherwise. It’s actually pretty vanilla.

a/n: I am weeeeeeaaaaak. t’s unedited. I promise I plan to go back and fix all the typos at some point this week.

Pairing: ksj x reader

Word Count: 10,888

When you open your eyes, you see Kim Seokjin beaming at you from across the cake, smoke swirling up between the two of you. You scoop up some icing from the cake and, in what feels like slow motion, wipe some of the blue sugar on Seokjin’s nose. You giggle at the sight of him. He sticks his fingers in and scoops up cake and frosting and wipes them across your cheek. Before it can evolve into a full-blown food fight, your mom gets between the two of you, giving you both a stern look. The two of you giggle, much to your mom’s chagrin.

Most of your memories of your childhood feel like this. The most consistent thing in your memories from your childhood is Kim Seokjin, his smile, his laugh, and the way you always felt safe around him. The two of you running around outside between your houses, in the same neighborhood but one street apart. Sidewalk chalk coating your fingers and your knees. Sweat trickling down your brows and skin turning red in the summer heat. Gloved fingers throwing snowballs in the winter months while giggles filled the crispy air.

The two of you were inseparable. That is...until middle school.

When you were in middle school, Seokjin asked you to go to the dance with him, and you were so embarrassed that you’d immediately rejected him. Both of your faces were bright red as you told him that you couldn’t be seen with him because everyone would think you were interested in him. You regretted saying it to him almost immediately, but the damage had already been done.

The two of you drifted apart after that. He avoided eye contact with you in the hallway at school, and you felt guilty but never enough to say anything about it. Seokjin continued living his life. You saw his name on the posters for school plays, running for class president, and always around with his friends laughing.

Of course you voted for him and quietly sat in the back of the amphitheater for every production he was in. You never told him. You never told your friends, but you loved him despite your selfishness. Your group of friends in high school never knew about how inseparable you and Seokjin had been, and you assumed his didn’t either.

In April of your junior year of high school, your parents told you that you would be going on a trip that summer to a home that they’d bought in Buan, near the Yellow Sea. You’d be spending the entire summer in South Korea, even though you hadn’t been there since you were a child. You were excited to be able to spend the summer in another country, but you were pretty bummed that you were going to have to spend the whole summer away from your friends, Gwangju the only big city nearby.

Even though you were apprehensive, at the end of May, you said goodbye to all of your friends and promised to message each other online every single night, even though you’d be in different time zones. You cried through the whole airport and even on the plane sitting next to your mom.

She just kept whispering, “shhh,내 새끼 (Nae saeggi), you will love it. We will have so much fun,” while she held your hand.

After a while, you fell asleep holding your mom’s hand, wrapped in one of those thin airplane blankets. When you woke up, you were landing in Korea. The rest of the day was a blur, but you will never forget the moment that you first saw the Yellow Sea. The mountains off in the distance creating a scalloped silhouette against the sky, and the water meeting the shore creating a whirlwind of different blues and greens. It felt like something shifted in you, like you were meant to be here.

When you went inside of the little blue cabin, your breath was taken away. The wooden cabin felt homey and comfortable. Your mom showed you to your room, and you were floored by the view from the bay window. You hardly even noticed that there were two beds in your room when you started unpacking your clothes. You tried to put the pictures of you and your friends all over the room along with small trinkets from your life back home. It started to feel like your own.

As you were about to settle in for a nap, you hear your mom’s voice in the kitchen along with a few voices that you recognize but can’t quite place. When there’s a young male voice, you start to put it together. Before your brain can even form his name, your mom pushes the door opened followed by the last person you expected to see here. Seokjin.

“y/n, the Kims have arrived,” your mom said like you knew that they were coming or something.

“엄마!! What are they doing here?!” You jumped up off of the bed straightening your clothing and smoothing your hair.

Your mother’s face flushed, and she flew across the room to you, pulling you close to her. She whispered in angry, fast Korean, and you only caught bits and pieces. You didn’t need to know exactly what she’s saying to know that you’d embarrassed her, and she was upset. Your face flushed, and you felt the warmth in your cheeks. Hanging your head, you look at the floor in front of Seokjin’s mom’s feet.

“I’m so sorry. I was just surprised,” you mutter, your tone ashamed.

“It’s all right, y/n. I imagine Seokjin and Seokjoong were surprised as well. We didn’t tell you kids that we would be spending the summer together,” she approached you, taking your hand in hers. “We will have a wonderful summer, dear.”

Your eyes met hers, and they were soft and caring. You felt a sense of comfort looking into her eyes. While you looked at her, you saw a small movement out of your peripheral. As the movement continued and the shuffling sound increased, you turned to see Seokjin being pushed by his father into the room, a stuffed alpaca under his arm. He dragged his rolling suitcase behind him and settled next to the second bed in the room.

“W-what is going on?” you stammered.

“Well, y/n,” she looked between you and Seokjin, “because there are only four rooms, you and Seokjin will share this one.”

“What?!”

You turned to your mom exasperatedly and stomp your foot. She’s looking at you with fire in her eyes. “You will share the room with Seokjin, and you will not complain.”

Your eyes met the floor again. “Yes, 엄마.”

You grumbled to yourself in your head, but you turned back to Seokjin, shot him a dirty look, and turned back to your bed. You flopped down with a heavy sigh and popped in your earbuds. There was nothing you could do about it, and you weren’t going to push your mother further about how it made more sense to you for Joong to share a room with Jin. Your mother and the Kims were more traditional, and, because Joong was the oldest, he had the right to more privacy and his own space.

The first night was a lot of huffing and sulking from both you and Jin. You made sure to sigh loudly any time that he crossed to your side of the room to hang his clothes or put away his shoes. After the initial shock, the two of you floated through your days near each other without interacting for weeks. You would go down to the water on sunny days, lying on the beach, swimming, and enjoying the heat of the Korean summer. On the rainy days, you would curl up on your bed and read the same book you’d already read because you hadn’t thought to bring more than one. Seokjin did his own thing, and you only ever saw him before bedtime.

One evening in July, you decided to come back early from the shore to shower and try to talk to your friends online. You lay in your bed, tapping away happily on your computer, looking up when the door opened. A yelp rang out from near the door. Your head snapped around and standing before you was Seokjin in a white bathrobe, face tinted crimson and long, slender fingers grasping firmly at the fabric to pull it closed around him.

“Oh god! y/n! You aren’t usually here at this time. I thought-” Seokjin stammered. “I didn’t...and you…”

Seokjin didn’t leave, didn’t move. He just stood in front of you. Your hands fly up to cover your eyes, and you scream “I’m sorry!”

After what felt like 10 minutes, you finally heard the door to the room shut, and when your eyes opened again, Seokjin was no longer there. You felt the heat in your face, and you weren’t sure what you were going to do to make things less awkward between the two of you. Seokjin didn’t come back that night; you assumed he begged Seokjoong to sleep in there. You avoided Seokjin for a week. If he was at the dinner table, you told your mom you weren’t hungry. If he came down to the beach, you suddenly needed to go send an email to your friends.

On the last night of July, you were watching the sunset over the water and behind the mountains. You were so rapt in the beauty of the moment, thinking about how it would be perfect to come here with a lover as an adult that you did here the person approaching you from behind.

“I think,” the voice started, and you jumped, “that we should probably figure out a solution to our mutual discomfort.”

Seokjin was now sitting beside you on your blanket. He pulled his knees up toward his chest, wrapping his arms around them. The long, broad-chested young man that usually inhabited Seokjin’s body was replaced by a boy, cradling himself. There was a vulnerability in Seokjin’s face as the pinks and oranges of the sky reflected off the surface of the sea.

“I’m totally cool with pretending the bathrobe thing didn’t happen if you are.” You nudged him with your shoulder. “Besides, I didn’t see anything anyway.”

His hand moved up and cupped the back of his neck. You could see a faint blush in his cheeks and on his ears. You rested your hand on his knee and tried to psychically force him to look at you with your mind, but his eyes stayed trained on the fading pastels in the sky.

“You know…” he paused as if trying to think of the right words to say. He shook his head as if deciding against what he was going to say. “What bathrobe thing?”

He laughed that unmistakable Kim Seokjin laugh and slapped his knee. But he still wouldn’t look at you, so you knew something was still weird between you. You turned back to the sea and watched as the sun dipped completely behind the mountains, painting the sky even more vivid with its reflections on the water.

“Seokjin, if something is still not okay between us-“

“Shh,” he cuts you off. Then the two of you sat in silence until the only light in the sky was the low-hanging full moon and the porch light on the cabin.

You didn’t want to be the first to move, so you sat still, staring at the sky speckled with dots of light. You couldn’t see the stars so well in the city, and here there was still light pollution. But it was nice to look up at the sky and see the hints of stars. Finally, Seokjin moved beside you.

When you turned, he was looking right at you. “You know that you really hurt me, right?”

“With the bathrobe thing?! How?”

“No, y/n, don’t be ridiculous. In middle school. When you told me that you couldn’t be seen with me? That hurt me so much.”

You were glad that it was dark enough that he couldn’t see the blush in your cheeks.

“Seokjin, I was just a kid. I didn’t mean to say that you weren’t worth being seen with.”

“Of course not. I’m very handsome.” You could hear the smirk on his mouth, the wink in his eye. “But we did everything together anyway. And I had the biggest crush on you. I thought that was my chance, and you just kinda stepped all over my heart. I’ve moved on, but we’ve never cleared the air. You never even said sorry.”

You thought back on the conversation and the days and weeks following, and you realized that you never really explained to Seokjin and certainly never said that you were sorry. You were the reason that your friendship changed. You were the one who did the damage.

“Seokjin, I’m so sorry for the things I said then. I know it’s been years since I did that, but I never meant to hurt you. It was my own insecurity. I thought that if I went to the dance with you that no boy would ever want to talk to me because they’d think you and I were together. Now, I realize that the only boy I wanted to talk to me was the one I pushed away.”

Your hand found his, resting gently on his thigh. You squeezed it three times, not breaking eye contact with him.

He shifted his body slightly, so he was turned more toward you. And you followed his lead. “I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, but it’s been so hard without you,” he whispers.

You didn’t realize how close he was until you felt his breath on your lips. “Seokjin, I’m sorry. I should have seen what was right in front of me.”

Your voice was wavering, and his eyes kept moving to your mouth. You were fighting looking down at his pillowy lips because you knew what would be inevitable if you did. But did you want to fight that? Or did you want to feel the way that his mouth felt against yours? His breath against your skin, close and intimate? Was this what you wanted?

“You really should have seen what was right in front of you. I’m so handsome; you must have been blind,” Seokjin laughed slightly from the back of his throat.

With his second mention in the five minutes of how handsome that he was, you decided that you were taking this far too seriously. Seokjin was joking and having fun, and you should have been having fun too.

Your body leaned in, moving even closer to Seokjin. Close enough that your nose could touch his cheek. You’d decided to let Seokjin make the final move. He closed his eyes and started moving toward you. Just as your eyes fluttered shut and you felt the ghost of his lips against yours, you heard an all-too-familiar sound.

“y/n! Seokjin! It is dark! Get inside now!” your mom shouted from the doorway of the cabin.

Both of your heads whipped toward where she stood, breaking any chance of a special intimate moment that you may have had together. You scrambled to stand up and put distance between yourself and Seokjin, and you yanked the blanket off the ground as soon as he stood up.

“Uh...y/n,” he started, trying to clear the air once again.

“Seokjin, it’s fine. Let’s not worry about it. We’re cool, right?” The words spilled so quickly out of your mouth as you started to walk quickly toward the house.

“Yeah. We’re cool.” His voice trailed behind you, in a slightly disappointed tone.

The rest of the summer had continued as if the moment on the beach never happened. Seokjin was around more and more with you, and the two of you started to feel more natural together again. It was like almost no time had passed. You picked on one another and shared secrets in the dark lying across the room from one another. One week, the two of you even adventured into Gwangju together, exploring Mudeungsan National Park and 1913 Songjeong Market. Gwangju was so beautiful, and you were so happy that you got to experience it with Seokjin.

When August came, it was time for the two of you to go back home and back to real life. You felt uneasy about what your relationship would be like, but you’d hoped that Seokjin would still be a part of your life.

It was a weird transition at first. You hardly spoke Korean at home, and you forgot that people wouldn’t initially address you in a language that you struggled with. Your friends had a hard time adjusting to Seokjin hanging out with you more often, tagging along to movie nights. Seokjin’s friends seemed happy to have you around, but he was very protective of you around his male friends, keeping a hand on your lower back.

Other than the initial awkwardness, slipping back into friendship with Seokjin was easy. You felt like you didn’t have to try as hard as you sometimes did with other friends. He already knew everything about you and your family and your past, and you knew his. The two of you were inseparable.

Seokjin was, of course, elected prom king, and you cheered wildly for him when they announced his name at the dance. He threw flying kisses at the whole crowd, and he turned to you and made eye contact, throwing a finger heart right to you and winking. You’d blushed deeply and turned away. You wondered why the hell you’d felt like that, but the moment passed. You let the thoughts that had been racing through your head go, never allowing yourself to dwell on them.

The two of you hosted your high school graduation party together and spent every moment of the summer together except when you went on a trip with your girlfriends to the beach.

Things started to change again between you and Seokjin when you went to college. He was studying film, and you were studying pre-law. Your course load was strenuous, even from the beginning. You’d chosen to take an additional class each semester in order to earn your paralegal certification by the time that you were a junior, so you could work in a law firm while you finished school. Seokjin was usually busy working on filming or editing or auditioning for something. The two of you had so much less time together than you used to.

You did make time to have dinner together in the dining hall once a week, and you’d catch up quickly on what you’d done over the course of the week. It didn’t last past the first semester though. One of you would cancel because you had a study group or a date or an activity off campus. And soon enough, it wasn’t expected anymore.

In your junior year, you’d started working at a law firm in town as a paralegal, and you felt like you were becoming an actual adult. You really enjoyed putting on your professional outfits to go to the office, when you’d spent the last two years in sweatpants with your hair in half-hearted messy buns. You felt like a professional. An adult.

Something that helped you feel even more like an adult was the young lawyer, Nam Joohyuk, who was just 6 years older than you, was the main lawyer that you worked with. He was so handsome that you couldn’t believe sometimes that he was actually a lawyer and not a model.

He talked to you like you knew what you were doing, not a complete idiot like the other lawyers did (which you felt like most of the time). He’d invited you to a couple of Happy Hours with the firm, which you had to pass because you still had coursework to complete. You couldn’t help the crush that you developed on him because he was handsome and kind and an amazing attorney.

In your senior year, you decided to let yourself have a little bit of fun because you usually said no to parties or anything that might interfere with your studies. You knew you had a lot to do, but a party or two couldn’t hurt.

One party was at a junior boy’s house, who you had met a few times. You went with some of your friends from your program, who seemed thrilled that you were going out for once. The house was packed with people, the air hazy and the smell of weed and cigarettes hanging low, creeping into your nostrils. People with red cups stood around while the loud music boomed in the speakers. As soon as you were deep into the house, you remembered why you didn’t like house parties.

You followed your friends, and you got a drink from the kitchen. A few of your friends disappeared into the crowd, looking for other friends or boyfriends or crushes. You stood awkwardly in the kitchen, unsure what you should be doing except drinking.

“I would never have expected you to be here,” a familiar voice half-shouts across the kitchen.

When you trace the voice back to the source, the shining, slightly red face of Kim Seokjin is staring back at you. You smile broadly, a little tipsy yourself. It was nice to see Seokjin’s face, and you were thrilled that someone you knew was here. As you looked up into his face, you could see that his eyes were glassy with the haze of alcohol, but you didn’t mind because he had such a warm smile that reached his distant eyes.

“Have a drink with me?” you asked, as you started to mix up another drink in your cup.

“Of course,” Seokjin responded, closing the distance between the two of you.

You stood together in the kitchen sipping the concoction that you’d made, which was not good, and catching up about what each of you had been up to. By the time your cup was empty, you had giggled so hard that your cheeks hurt. When you turned around to the counter again, you felt Seokjin’s body move behind you. His fingers wrapped around your waist, and the tips danced lightly on the skin of your tummy just above your pants. He buried his face in your hair and breathed deeply. You jumped a little at the contact, but you didn’t push him away.

You let him continue to touch your skin, and when his mouth found the delicate skin of your neck, you couldn’t help the small moan that escaped from within you. You pushed your ass back against him, and you felt his cock hardening in his jeans. The thought that his hardness was caused by you made your heart pound, and you felt the heat of the thought in your core. Your fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, flitting tenderly through the wisps of hair there.

“y/n, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he growled into your ear before biting down on the lobe. His tongue started to explore your neck and collarbone, and you moaned again, dropping your other hand to the counter to steady yourself. Seokjin’s hips started a small motion against your backside, rubbing your clothed ass to achieve some relief.

You turned your head slightly toward him, and his mouth found yours. Finally, you felt his soft lips on yours, moving slowly but purposefully. His tongue was sloppy and lazily exploring your mouth. This kiss, though drunk and sloppy, was absolutely worth the wait. You weren’t sure that you’d felt this aroused in months, desperate to have his hands on every inch of your body.

And then, as fate would have it, your phone started ringing loudly from your pocket. It blared the tone that you had set specifically for Joohyuk, and you couldn’t imagine that he would be calling you at 12am on a weekend unless it was an emergency.

You turned your attention away from Seokjin and held up a finger to him, trying to flash the most apologetic possible look to him. You scurried off toward the backdoor, answering the phone as soon as you were outside in the quiet and fresh air of the night.

“Hello?”

“y/n! What are you doing right now?” a slightly slurring Joohyuk asks.

“I’m out with my friends,” you half-lie, “what is going on Mr. Nam? Is there something you need from me?”

“Well...there’s one thing I need from you,” he giggles.

Was he drunk? What the fuck was going on? You were sure that he was far too professional to drunk dial his paralegal, and, besides, there’s no way that he was interested in you. You were just a dumb kid, and he was way out of your league.

“Mr. Nam, are you all right?”

Your concern seemed to shock him out of whatever weird mood he was in.

“Oh, y/n. I’m so sorry. It’s late. I’ll see you on Monday.”

He hung up, and that was the end of that conversation. Puzzled, you made your way back to the kitchen to find Seokjin. Much to your dismay, he wasn’t where you’d left him. So you shot him a text.

You: hey, are you all right?

Seokjin: yeah, I just needed to head home. I’m so sorry

You couldn’t tell what exactly he was saying sorry for, but you decided to let it go. You found your friends and told them that you wanted to head home because you were tired. Your head was foggy from the booze and the party and the weird phone call. All you could think about was the way that Seokjin’s lips felt on yours. His fingers on your skin. The warmth of his body pressed against yours. As you sat in the back of your Lyft home, you shivered thinking about the lack of warmth being shared with you now.

You’d tried to reach out to Seokjin several more times since the party but to no avail. Eventually, you’d figured it was probably just a drunken mistake that he regretted. If anyone asked you, you would have said you’d regretted it too. Even though you knew that wasn’t true. How could it possibly be true? So many almosts with Seokjin.

You continued to work at the firm, growing closer and closer to Joohyuk. The Monday after his awkward phone call to you, he had awkwardly apologized for the drunk dial and promised it would never happen again. You usually weren’t forward, so you had no idea what got into you. You smirked and responded, “well, I certainly hope it will.”

You’d blushed, dipped your head, and scurried away to the file room before he could respond. When you think back on it, that was probably the day your relationship with Joohyuk had shifted from strictly professional to more friendly. You were sure that being slightly rejected by Seokjin the weekend before had something to do with it, but you never told anyone about what happened in that kitchen that night.

When you graduated from college, your parents had hosted a graduation party with the Kims for both you and Seokjin. You were a little bit embarrassed that all of your achievements had to be shared with Seokjin, and you hadn’t really spoken to him since that night. The party was more for your parents than anyone else, so you let it happen.

That night, you drank a little bit too much, and by the time the party had wound down, you were drunk, sitting alone in the backyard.

“Hey,” Seokjin said as he plopped down in a chair next to you. He was holding a beer in his hand and wasn’t looking at you.

“Oh, hey. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me, so I kinda just minded my own business all evening.” You could hear the venom in your own tone, but you didn’t care because you had so many unanswered questions that you knew he’d never answer.

“Whoa, when did I ever say that I didn’t want to talk to you? I think I would remember saying that?”

The fake laugh that escaped from within you carried all the animosity that you were feeling. “You didn’t have to say it, Seokjin. You were too busy saying nothing.”

You cast your eyes to the sky above you, searching for any hint of stars in the sky, and, when you had no luck with that, choosing instead to lock your eyes directly on the moon.

“y/n, I-” he started.

“Save it, Seokjin. If you thought that kissing me that night was such a horrible mistake, you could have at least still been a friend to me. But you disappeared. Were you so ashamed of having kissed me that you had to completely cut me off?” The tears started to swell in your eyes, and you felt the booze heightening your sensitivity. You didn’t get up and leave, hoping he’d have some kind of explanation that made up for the past 6 months.

“y/n, it wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I just...I was an idiot.” The sincerity in his voice didn’t make up for the betrayal and rejection that you were feeling.

“Yeah. You were,” you retorted as you got up and started to walk away from him.

“Please, wait!” he moved after you and grabbed your wrist. You didn't turn toward him, but you stopped walking.

“y/n, you have to know that I never meant to make you feel rejected or hurt,” he spoke softly and gently, with a delicate care like his words might break you. You’d hoped he would have had something better to say.

“Well, Seokjin, it may not have been your intention, but you did it anyway.”

You wiggled your wrist free of his grasp and walked away from him quickly. You made your way into the house and locked yourself in your childhood bedroom. Drunkenly, you sat on the edge of your bed crying into your hands.

Just then, your phone dinged from your back pocket. You half-expected it to be another apology from Seokjin, and your heart sunk when it wasn’t.

Nam Joohyuk: I am so proud of you for working so hard. In three years, you are going to be the greatest lawyer this world has ever seen. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party. I got caught up writing these briefs.

You blinked the tears out of your eyes. When you were hurting, it seemed like Joohyuk just knew that you needed someone. He had a way of always being there to support you and tell you that he was proud.

You: Well, if you’re free now, I’m drunk and vulnerable. Come over?

You figured it was worth a shot, and, if he rejected you too, then you would be in the same boat you were already in.

Joohyuk: be there in 20

That was the night that you and Joohyuk first kissed. It was chaste and gentle in the front seat of his car. You’d tried to move further with him, your hand sliding over the belt around his waist. He had, seemingly begrudgingly, stopped you because he said that it would feel like taking advantage of you.

Instead, he took you to an all night diner and bought you pancakes, which you scarfed down. You hadn’t realized you hadn’t eaten all day, and that was probably why you were so drunk and emotional. He rested his hand on your knee as he sat next to you in the booth, and something about Joohyuk’s presence made you feel safe. You smiled up at him, a dumb drunk smile, and kissed him again.

Things with Joohyuk were always easy. You didn’t feel rejected or unwanted by him. You knew exactly where you stood with him. He was so nice and caring and sweet, but there always seemed to be something between the two of you. You really weren’t sure what it was.

***

Three years later, you were getting ready to graduate after a gruelly time working through law school. You had taken and passed all of your exams. You were in the top five students in your class, and law firms were already scouting you, though you weren’t quite sure what you wanted to do.

You didn’t tell Joohyuk that you’d been applying for some positions abroad as well because you weren’t sure how he would feel about it. The two of you had been together for the last three years since you started law school, and you were content and comfortable with him and your life together. You weren’t sure that you were happy, but he was supportive and loving. You loved him, right?

The week after graduation, you received a phone call from a law firm in Gwangju asking you to go to Korea and interview for a position in their main office, though they had satellite offices all over the country. You knew that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to interview for such a highly paid position at such a prominent office.

Breaking the news to Joohyuk finally was difficult. He stared at you confused and slightly hurt.

“But, y/n, I thought that you were going to stay at the firm with me?” he asked, softly.

“That’s still a possibility, darling, but I have to see where this opportunity could take me. Please support me with this.”

You’d tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, and he had smiled at you, nodding.

“Of course, I will. And maybe when you come back, we can take some steps in our relationship?”

The hope in his tone scared you, but you didn’t tell him that. You’d simply nodded and turned back to your computer to respond to the email you’d received from the firm. You weren’t sure that you were ready to take anymore steps with Joohyuk, but you knew that when you came back you would have decisions to make.

One week later, you were on an airplane, headed to Gwangju. You hadn’t been back to Korea since that summer in high school. Images played through your head of that summer, playing on the beach with Seokjin. You could see his face laughing in your mind, the sound of his laugh echoing off the walls of your skull. It was almost painful reliving the memories, knowing that your friendship with Seokjin had ended that night in your parents’ backyard.

Your visit to Gwangju wasn’t anything transformative. It was a typical interview, but you did feel like you nailed it. You spoke Korean with them, and, in your head, you patted yourself on the back for remembering to use honorifics, which your mother constantly yelled at you about the few months that you’d been here together. You explored the city a little bit after your interview, eating as much samgyeopsal and kimbap as you could shove into your mouth.

Since you were in Korea anyway, you’d decided to make the 2 hour train trip to Buan to visit the cabin. Your mom had been renting it out as an Airbnb while they weren’t there, though she and your father had gone a couple of times since you’d been there. When you told your mom that you were going to interview in Gwangju, she’d practically shouted that you needed to go to the cabin and make sure everything was all right there. She wasn’t sure that she trusted the housekeeper that she’d hired because the last time she’d been there, there had been some residue in the bathtub. You’d chuckled quietly to yourself at your mom’s impossible standards of cleanliness but promised you would check up on the place and clean anything that needed cleaned.

As you approached the front of the cabin, you had been flooded with emotions. Memories of your family, the Kims, and all the things that you had forgotten from that time. You unlocked the door and stepped into the still house. It seemed like it had been untouched since you’d been there seven years earlier. There were a few updates in the kitchen and different linens on the bed, but everything else was exactly the same. You stood in the bay window looking out at the sea, and tears trailed down your cheeks. You weren’t sure why you were crying, but you knew that you had some big decisions to make.

Even though you were the only one there, it felt weird to try to sleep in your parents’ bed or the Kims’ or Seokjoong’s, so you unpacked in the same room that you’d shared with Seokjin years before. You had planned on staying two weeks in the cabin and then returning home after you would hopefully know where you would be working. You napped curled on top of the covers of the bed and ordered dinner to be delivered.

The next day, you decided to open the bay windows and paint the mountains and the water. You set up the easel that your mother had reluctantly stored for you all these years and the watercolor paints that you’d brought with you. You put your headphones in and painted for hours, different color palettes and patterns, happy to drown out the real world for a day.

As you sat there, completely focused on the scene in front of you, you didn’t hear the door unlock or the man come into the room. He must have come from the other direction up the road because you probably would have seen him walk past your window. Then again, you were so focused on what you were doing, maybe you’d just missed him.

A hand was laid upon your shoulder, and you screamed, flinging paint everywhere. You knocked over the easel, painting splattering on the floor and the window. It took a moment for you to recognize the face that was behind you because you were blinded with fear. Soon your focus and concentration starts again, and you see Seokjin standing with a look of horror on his face.

“Kim Seokjin, what in the actual fuck are you doing?!” you screamed. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your breathing was heavy. You felt the tears start to swell in your eyes like they usually did when you were scared.

Seokjin crossed the small space between the two of you and wrapped his arms around you. You pushed him gently, but he kept his grip.

“y/n, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know that you’d be here, and I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Finally, you stopped resisting his embrace, and you fell forward against his broad chest. He held you like that for what felt like a lifetime, while your heartbeat slowed to normal and your breathing became more controlled. When you’d relaxed yourself enough and all the fear had melted away, you leaned back from him.

“So, seriously. What are you doing here? My mom said I’d have the place to myself.” You give him a look of consternation to let him know that you are upset that he ruined your plans.

“Oh goodness, well maybe your parents didn’t communicate. I came to Gwangju for an audition, and your dad asked me to drop by and fix a couple of things while I was nearby. I think your parents didn’t communicate,” he laughed softly.

“That, or they just didn’t care. They didn’t tell us we’d be here together last time either.”

You turned your attention back to the mess you made, and you slap your hand over your forehead. You begin to collect your brushes, palette, and papers from the floor, unsure of how you’ll clean up the paint.

“Hey, y/n, let me clean that up. It’s the least I can do since I almost scared you to death,” Seokjin offered, putting his hands on either side of your shoulders and moving you away from the mess. “Seriously, go take a bath or something and relax. I’ll clean this.”

You nodded and made your way to the bathroom on the first floor. You were glad that Seokjin offered to clean it because you were pretty upset that he’d spilled your paint and ruined your painting in the first place. You took a long bath, soaking in the warm water and letting some of your stress dispel into the water. This was the first moment you’d taken to actually relax since before you finished your exams for law school.

When you’d finished your bath, you walked out into the main area in your bathrobe. You smelled the smell of Galbi, Kimchi Jjigae, and Mandoo. Your mouth waters at the aroma that fills the room. You wander into the kitchen, and Seokjin turns when you clear your throat. His eyes widen as he sees that you are clad only in a bathrobe. He clears his throat and turns his eyes back to the pans in front of him.

You giggle. “Now, we’re even on the bathrobe front, Seokjinnie.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. What bathrobe incident?”

The two of you laughed together as he continued to work over the multiple dishes that he was making. He seemed happy to make traditional Korean meals, and the way that he furrowed his brow as he tasted the soup made you smile. Something about seeing him in his element like this made your heart soften like butter left on the counter too long.

He plated up the dishes for the two of you, and you sat on the high bar stools at the counter eating the delicious creation he made. You had giggled as he slurped his soup and told dad jokes while he ate. You had forgotten how much you’d loved moments like this, and it was so easy to slide right back into things with Seokjin even after years of separation. There was still a pang in your heart each time you looked at him for the things that had gone unsaid for so long.

After eating, the two of you cleaned the kitchen and all of the dishes and then moved to the living room. You sat on the couch together talking and giggling. You didn’t even realize that you were still in your bathrobe as you sat knee-to-knee with Seokjin. Looking directly at him, you noticed a few flecks of blue paint settled on his cheek next to his mouth. Not realizing you were staring, you leaned toward him to get it off, your fingers moving up toward the flawless skin.

“Uh...y/n?” Seokjin asked in a hesitant voice.

At that moment you realized exactly what this looked like. To him, it looked like you were looking at his mouth, leaning toward him, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Oh my god! He probably thought you were going to kiss him.

And that’s what brought you to this moment, sitting next to him, face scarlet, hands in your lap.

“Seokjin! It wasn’t like that. You have…” you can’t even bring your mouth to form the right words.

He’s giggling watching your face blush and taking in all of your features. His hand grasps yours between your legs and squeezes it three times. You look up at his face, even though you feel shame and embarrassment from the miscommunication.

“I should have texted you,” he says, looking down at where your hands meet. “I just didn’t know what to say. I figured you’d only done it because you were drunk, and I felt like I had taken advantage of you in a vulnerable state.”

When his words process in your mind, you realize that he had been thinking the same things that you’d been thinking about the night at the party. You and Seokjin had never communicated about it, so you each thought the other regretted that moment.

“Seokjin, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. I thought that you were ashamed of what you'd done and that you’d only done it because you were drunk!” you exclaim, shifting toward him.

You see him smile and then his eyes widen as his eyes land on your chest. He chokes a little, and you finally look down at yourself. Much to your embarrassment, your bathrobe has shifted, slightly revealing your breast, areola clearly visible. Your nipple is hard against the thin, white, silky fabric, and you, once again, feel the heat in your face. It feels like everytime that you are with Seokjin, you are blushing about something. You pull the fabric back tight around you, covering all of the skin you’d accidentally exposed.

Seokjin shifts awkwardly, rips his eyes away from you, and stares at his hands in his lap. He starts giggling to himself. You’re already embarrassed enough, you can’t believe that Seokjin is laughing at you.

“Hey, y/n,” he starts. You are terrified of what he’s going to say. “What do you call a pop star with huge nipples?”

He continues giggling as you look at him baffled. Your jaw drops, and no words will escape your mouth.

“Areola grande.”

He laughs his windshield wiper laugh and slaps his knee. You chuckle softly. Leave it to Seokjin to make a dad joke when he’s just seen your breast. You shove him with your shoulder and stand up to head to your room to get dressed. Seokjin watches you leave the room, and he looks slightly disappointed as you disappear around the corner.

You poke your head back into the main room and shout back. “Hey, the other girl I met a girl with 12 nipples.”

He gives you a confused look, but there is a grin starting to spread across his face.

“Sounds weird, dozen tit!”

You giggle so hard that you snort, and you throw your head back in laughter. Seokjin bolts off of the couch toward you. His arms snake around your waist, and he pulls you close to him.

“That’s it,” he growls at you. “I need you, y/n. Is this okay?”

His lips hover just over yours as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear like a fucking movie. You nod vigorously, and he immediately slams his mouth into yours. It’s passionate and wild, and his teeth catch your bottom lip. You moan softly as he releases it and use your tongue to search his lips and his mouth. Your tongues are dancing together in your mouths, as your hands explore each other. His hands slide up and down your hips and your ass outside of your bathrobe.

He pulls back from you for a moment, his eyes searching yours. “Why are you so fucking perfect?” he asks.

Before you can say anything in response, his mouth is one yours again. You can feel all of the longing that you’ve felt to press your mouth against his since that day on the shore seven years ago. You needed him then, but you need him even more now. Everything in your life is changing, Seokjin is always there. He is the constant in your life.

Your fingers slide under the back of his shirt, and you feel his taut skin stretched over his muscular back. The heat building in your core is undeniable, and you pride yourself on not being shallow, but fuck if Seokjin’s body isn’t amazing. You’ve wanted to see it ever since that day you saw him in his bathrobe. You wanted to see the chest underneath, his nipples, the skin of his thighs, his shoulder blades, his belly button, and, of course, his cock. You’d imagined what all of it looked like in your head more times than you would ever be willing to admit. You want to savor these moments because you’d been waiting so long. That day in the kitchen, you’d gotten so close, but now you think it might be your time.

You hesitate for a moment, realizing that Seokjin could disappear again at any moment. He must feel the pause because he pulls back from you.

“Is everything all right, y/n? Are you not enjoying this? Oh my god, did I read this wrong? Were you just looking at me like that because I’m so handsome?”

You laugh, once again. It seems like you’re always laughing when Seokjin is around. “No, I was actually looking at you like that because you have paint on your face. But I want this. Please Seokjin. I want this.”

You stare up at him, trying to project all of your desire into your gaze, and it must work because he groans and pulls you closer against his body. He presses his lips to your neck and your collarbone.

“Why don’t we take this to our shared childhood bedroom?” he asks as he pulls away and winks.

“When you say it like that, it sounds absolutely disgusting,” you retort, shoving him again.

You lead him by the hand into the bedroom, and, once inside, you undo the tie on your robe. It stays on your shoulders for now, and your finger seductively beckons him toward you. You swear you hear a whimper come from him, and he closes the distance between you.

His fingertips are smooth against the skin on your sides as he slides them beneath your robe. You take that moment to push your fingers up under the front of his shirt and yank it over his head. He shakes his hair out and pulls you even closer to him. The skin from your chest meets the skin on his, and the skinship makes you immediately melt.

Your mouth traces along his collarbone, leaving small nips and bites along the way. You sink your teeth into one of his shoulders, and he inhales sharply but doesn’t stop you. You smile to yourself. Your fingers struggle slightly with the button on his pants, and he laughs slightly, bringing his own hands to help you.

He slides his jeans down his hips and stands before you in his black boxer briefs, hard cock clearly straining against the cotton fabric. Your jaw drops slightly as you see the size of the bulge, and you look up at him, with a look that could probably only be described as wonderment. He chuckles and loops his finger under your chin. He pulls your mouth to his for a gentle kiss, and you can’t believe that you’ve waited this long to experience all of these things for the first time.

You slip your robe from your shoulders, standing before him completely exposed. Your nipples are hard with arousal and the slight chill in the air. You feel yourself pinching your shoulder blades together, trying to make your breasts look more young and perky because you know that gravity has already started taking them. Joohyuk once commented that both your nipples pointed downward in an offhand joke, and you hadn’t been able to look at them in the mirror since.

“Holy shit,” Seokjin mutters. He leans into your ear, kissing the lobe softly. “Relax.”

Even just the simple action of him being impressed and turned on by your body makes you feel so much more comfortable with him. You can’t wait any longer, and you slide your hand into his underwear. As your fingers slide around his girth, you feel how soaked you are, the slickness sliding down your inner thigh. Seokjin groans as you slowly stroke him under his underwear.

His hands trace a path up from your things to your breasts. He takes each of your nipples between his fingers and rolls them gently. The stimulation causes you to arch your back and moan. You aren’t sure how you are growing even wetter with his ministrations.

“Seokjin, please. I’ve waited so long. I need you.”

He doesn’t hesitate any longer. He slides his boxer briefs all the way down his hips and steps out of them. He picks you up and lays you down gently on his bed. He climbs on top of you, kissing gently on your collarbone, chest, and finally on your mouth.

“You have no idea how badly I want this,” he whispers against your lips, and your heart jumps in your chest. “I don’t think I’ll last long.”

You chuckle to yourself. “Jinnie, I don’t think I’ll last long either. But we have a lot of time.”

You hadn’t called him Jinnie since you were kids, and the pet name seems to soften his expression slightly. He dips his head to kiss you again. He grips his cock around the base and aligns himself with your entrance. You draw your knees up on either side of him, wrapping your ankles around his back. When he pushes into you, you gasp. The way that his cock stretches you plus the anticipation of this moment makes your eyes flutter shut. He slides slowly into you, burying his cock inside of you.

After you’ve adjusted to him, Seokjin starts to move his hips quicker, establishing a rhythm that drags against the spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll back slightly. With Seokjin buried inside of you, nothing else matters. All you can remember is the sensation between your legs and the way that Seokjin’s body feels on top of you.

Seokjin’s breathing is ragged, and you feel yourself coming upon an orgasm already. You couldn’t believe that your emotions could affect your sexual sensations so much, but you didn’t want to spend another moment without Seokjin inside of you.

“y/n, you’re so fucking tight. Fuck. You’re fucking perfect,” Seokjin huffs out against your neck.

“Jinnie,” you trail off as you feel yourself pulse around his cock. Your mind goes blank and all you see is whiteness in your mind. It’s like your mind has been completely purified of all the darkness that existed inside of you, and you tumble over the edge of your orgasm. You feel all the tension and stress of the last few months melting into the mattress as Seokjin thrusts inside of you.

His cock twitches, and he’s moaning your name over and over while he paints your walls with his hot cum. You topple into another orgasm as you feel him filling you up. Nothing has ever felt more worth the wait than having Seokjin’s cum inside of you. Soon the two of you come down, and your sweaty bodies stop moving together.

He lies on top of you for a little while, crushing you slightly, but you don’t mind too much. You’re too happy to care about being squished. If you weren’t his completely before, you certainly were now. You can’t imagine spending another day without Seokjin in your arms and in your bed. But that, of course, means that you have to end things with Joohyuk. For now, you just wanted to cherish this moment, trying not to let yourself think about the possibility that Seokjin didn’t feel the same way.

The next several days, you and Seokjin spent cleaning and doing projects around the house. You also made love in every single room of the house. You went to the beach and watched the sunset like you did as teenagers. Everything felt new and wonderful. In the middle of the second week, you got a call from the law firm in Gwangju officially offering you the position. They gave you two weeks to think about your decision and get back to them.

You wanted to take it, but you had to talk to Joohyuk first. It was unfair of you to fuck someone else while you were with him and accept a job in another country without telling him. You put thoughts of your boyfriend out of your head and focused your attention on the man who you’d spent the last two weeks with nonstop. You were so fond of Seokjin, but you weren’t quite sure where he stood. You didn’t want to push him and end up pushing him away. You enjoyed the time that you had with him, and when it was time for you to leave you kissed him for an hour before you finally had to call a taxi or you’d miss your flight.

Back home, everything felt surreal. It didn’t feel like your own life anymore. You had moved out of your university apartment after law school, so all of your stuff was at your parents’ house. You expected that you’d probably move in with Joohyuk when you graduated, but now, even if you weren’t with Seokjin, you were sure that you didn’t want to be with Joohyuk. You weren’t ready to break his heart, but it had to happen.

You called him and asked him to meet you at your parents house. When he arrived you met him in the front yard, and he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you around in his arms. You laughed awkwardly, not knowing how to make this situation less uncomfortable. When he put your down, you decided to just rip off the bandaid.

“Joo-” you started.

“Before you say anything, I want to get a good look at you and ask you something,” he interrupts.

You stand awkwardly before him while he admires you, and suddenly, you feel dirty for what you’ve done. You didn’t even really consider that what you’d done with Seokjin had been cheating. You just thought that it had been fulfilling your destiny, doing what felt right, what was inevitable. But with Joohyuk looking at you with love in his eyes now, you realized what you had done had not just been realizing that you didn’t want to be with him. You had cheated. A lot.

After he stares at you for a minute, he drops down to one knee in front of you.

Oh fuck.

“y/n, you have made me so happy these last three years, and I’m hoping that you’ll-” he gets cut off by the sound of someone out on the street.

“Seriously, y/n?! Seriously?”

It’s Seokjin. He has pulled his car over to the side of the road, and he is looking at you exasperatedly.

“No! Seokjin, wait! It isn’t what it looks like!” you shout, while Joohyuk looks up at you bewildered.

“Oh, so you aren’t currently being proposed to by another man after you spent two weeks having sex with me in Korea?”

Joohyuk’s smile drops off his face, and he looks between you and Seokjin over and over. He’s clearly confused and hurt and disappointed.

“It’s not like that, Jin. I was about to tell him.”

“What?” Joohyuk blurts out.

“Whatever,” Seokjin shouts dejectedly and drives off.

Tears start to spill from Joohyuk’s eyes. “I’m going to get off my knee now,” he mutters.

“Joo, you have to know that I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry. I realized that I wasn’t happy, and I know now that I want to take the job in Gwangju. This isn’t what I wanted for my life. I just want to be happy. Can’t you see that?”

You feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. This is not how you pictured this conversation going.

Joohyuk looks at you deep in the eyes. “All I can see is what this night could have been.”

He stalks off toward his car and drives away from your parents house and from your life. You know that you fucked up bad, and now the man that was the only one who could make you happy is gone too. You don’t know how you’re going to convince Seokjin that you were trying to break up with Joohyuk, but you decide to take the night to think about it.

The next day, you’ve formulated your plan, and you are ready to execute it. Your mom asked Seokjin’s mom for the spare key to his apartment, and, because the two are so close, she gave it up right away.

You knew that Seokjin would be out all day, running errands that his mom asked him to do. You really had an amazing ally in his mother. You snuck into his apartment, with all of your supplies in two paper grocery bags, awkwardly carrying one on either side of your hips. You worked for hours getting everything ready.

When Seokjin’s key slides into the lock, you are standing in the living, surrounded by pink flowers and fairy lights. It takes him a moment to process what is in front of him, but when he sees you, he looks slightly disappointed. It’s okay, you kind of expected that.

“Don’t you have a fiance to hang out with?” he asks with acid on his tongue.

“No. I don’t,” you state blandly. “And I hope that you’ll give me two minutes to explain.”

“One minute,” he responds, like you knew he would.

You take the game hourglass timer that you have in your hand, turn it upside down, and place it on the table.

“When I hooked up with you in Buan, yes I had a boyfriend, and I did cheat on him with you. I was unhappy with him, and honestly, I didn’t realize that it was because I’d just been waiting for you all these years. When you saw us, he had come over to propose, but I had invited him over to end things with him. He’s nice and caring, but he isn’t you. You’re all I want, Seokjin. I made a mistake, and I hope that you can forgive me and give me a chance. I ended a three year relationship because I was so hopeful that things would work out with you that I couldn’t stand to put that in jeopardy by being in a relationship. But I messed it up anyway”

The last of the sand falls through the hourglass as you glance down at it, and you look up at him. His expression is hard to read because it is so stony. The two of you just look into each other’s eyes for another moment.

“You swear it’s over with him?” he asks.

“Of course. You’re all I want, Jinnie.”

“y/n, you have no idea how badly I want to be with you, b-but I have to tell you something first.”

You feel the tears starting to build in your tear ducts, but you force them down. “Tell me, please.”

“I’m moving to Gwangju at least for a while because I was offered a role in a K-Drama, and I’ve accepted it. If we were to be together, it would be long distance, and you know how that goes.” His hand goes up to the back of his neck, and he diverts his eyes from yours.

“Okay, well, two things about that.” You can hear that your tone sounds sarcastic, and you laugh to yourself in your head. “First of all, you and I could make a long distance relationship work, I believe that with my whole heart.”

“y/n, it’s so hard. With time zones, everything is just extra challenging. I’m not sure that’s what either of us want.”

“Well, let me finish then,” you retort. “Second of all, I accepted a job offer at a law firm in Gwangju, so I’ll be moving to Korea in two weeks.”

Seokjin’s jaw drops. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I will not.

A smile spreads across his features. He strides across the room to you, picks you up in his big arms, and presses his mouth against yours. You kiss for several minutes, Seokjin’s arms wrapped around you.

The two of you spend the rest of the evening making love on the couch and talking about your plans for living in Korea and adjusting to Korean culture. You feel so overwhelmingly excited that you have Seokjin finally and that he will be the person who is with you as you enter this new chapter of your life. You decide that you have some time to work out the details, and right now, you just want to be with each other.

That night when you are lying in bed, your head rests on Seokjin’s chest. He pushes your hair out of your face, like he does, and he looks down at you.

“Hey, y/n?” he whispers.

“Yes, my wonderful Seokjin?”

“How long have the moon and earth been together like this?”

You aren’t sure what he’s saying. You open your mouth to respond, but you see on his face that he’s doing something.

“You’re my planet. I’m just a moon to you. I’m just a little star for you that lights up your heart, but you are my earth. All I see is you.”

You start crying again. How does he say the sweetest things like that like it’s nothing to him?

“I love you, Seokjin,” you whisper up at him.

He wipes one of the tears from your cheek and presses it to his lips. “I love you too, y/n.”

#btscafe7 #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #ksmutclub #seokjin smut #jin smut #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #bts x reader #bts smut #bts moon #seokjn #jin #bts jin #bts fanfic #nam joo hyuk

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noona-clock · 3 years

Text

What’s Your Sign?: Pisces

Genre: Office!AU

Pairing: Nam Joo Hyuk x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Words: 7,054

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! As this is the last story in the series, I would just like to thank you for your continued support! I am so thrilled with these stories, and I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did 💜

“Joo Hyuk!” you called out forcefully, your brow furrowed slightly with exasperation.

Upon hearing his name, Joo Hyuk jumped a little and was quite effectively pulled out of his stupor -- which, of course, he hadn’t even been aware he’d been in.

“Hmm?” he hummed, pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose and focusing on you sitting at your desk across from him.

“You were staring again,” you sighed as you pursed your lips.

Joo Hyuk could feel a flush of heat simmering across his nose and cheeks, and the tips of his ears began to burn with embarrassment. “Sorry,” he murmured, trying to muster up a casual smirk and chuckle in hopes that it would trick you into thinking he wasn’t quite so mortified.

Honestly, though, he should be used to this. This had happened so many times in the past two years -- he had always been prone to daydreaming, even way back in grade school, and you had caught him in the middle of one countless times by now. He really shouldn’t care that you had snapped him out of yet another wistful, ponderous trance.

But he did care.

A lot.

Because the expression on your face and the tone of your voice had started to become increasingly annoyed over the last few months, and the last thing he wanted to do was annoy you.

I mean, not only were you his co-worker -- and his desk neighbor, to boot -- but you were his friend!

...At least, in his mind you were his friend.

Actually, in his mind you were more than his friend. Much more.

And maybe that’s why he still got so shamefully flustered whenever you interrupted his daydreams: because he was always daydreaming about you.

Ever since his first day here, he’d harbored a very intense but very secret crush on you. And while he knew that daydreaming about a co-worker during work hours, when that very same co-worker was sitting just about ten feet away from him, was really not a good idea... he couldn’t help himself!

Trust me, he had tried to stop thinking about you constantly. But you were just so beautiful and smart and witty and determined and literally everything he thought made up the perfect woman. The perfect person.

You were just... perfect. So, no matter how hard he tried, thoughts of you always lingered in the back of his mind -- at the very least. Sometimes (more often than he’d care to admit), like just now, he found himself engulfed in a very vivid daydream about anything and everything involving you.

And sometimes (more often than he’d care to admit), like just now, you noticed and snapped him out of it.

It was then he remembered you had just done that again -- snapped him out of a daydream -- and he was becoming perilously close to slipping right back into one.

Such was the power of you.

“Sorry,” he finally replied, hoping he hadn’t waited too long to apologize to you for staring off into void while he daydreamed -- when he should have been working.

(He didn’t even realize he had already said ‘Sorry’ just a few moments ago... Tsk tsk. What ever will we do with you, Joo Hyuk?)

You simply let out a short huff of breath through your nose before raising your eyebrows expectantly. “Did you hear any of what I said?”

Joo Hyuk simply lifted the corners of his lips up slightly into an apologetic, sheepish grin.

For a brief moment, a look of exasperation took over your features, but you figuratively shrugged it off and settled back into your usual, business-like demeanor. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the Assistant Marketing Director position is open, and they’ve decided to hire internally.”

Now, surprisingly, it was Joo Hyuk’s turn to be exasperated. “Yes, I’ve heard.” he replied with breathy chuckle.

It had been basically all anyone had talked about for the past week or so; he had a habit of getting lost in his thoughts, but he wasn’t completely oblivious.

I mean, he worked in the Marketing department of this publishing company. How could he not know the Assistant Director position was open? It was his own boss who had left!

“I turned in my application yesterday, and Sabrina told me we need to prepare a presentation for how we would add to the department.”

Joo Hyuk furrowed his brow slightly, wondering why you were telling him all of this.

“She also said we could recruit someone to help, and I was wondering if you --”

Oh, hell yes. You were asking him to work on a project together?!

“Yes, absolutely,” he answered with a nod. To be honest, he didn’t care what the project even was. He would take any and every chance he could to spend time with you.

Your lips curved into a smile as you leaned back slightly in your chair. “Great, thank you. Can you spend your lunch hour in the conference room?”

Did he want to? No. Would he? Yes. For you, he would do just about anything.

He nodded, letting out a positive hum and trying not to outwardly show how excited he was to spend his lunch break with you.

You nodded back before swiveling around to face your computer, though you quickly turned your head back to call out to him, “Message me your sandwich order, I’ll get it delivered.”

...If you can believe it, Joo Hyuk’s stomach suddenly became home to several frantic butterflies at the prospect of not only working with you for one uninterrupted hour but also eating lunch with you.

On one hand, he wanted you to be successful and get this Assistant Marketing Director position because it was obviously something you wanted. On the other hand, he didn’t want you to get it because then he would have a crush on his boss. And that was even worse than having a crush on his co-worker.

Before he could get fully distracted, Joo Hyuk opened up the messenger app on his computer and navigated to his direct message conversation with you. He hastily typed in a turkey BLT on wheat with a pickle on the side, pressed ‘Send,’ then tried to stop himself from creating a mental countdown to lunch.

...He failed almost immediately. There were three hours and twelve minutes left.

“Do you want another pickle?” you asked as soon as Joo Hyuk opened the door to the conference room.

He had done his best to hide how much he was looking forward to this, waiting a few minutes after you’d left your desk before making his way here and walking in as casually as he could.

But your question threw him off a bit.

He stopped suddenly, his head jerking back a little with surprise.

“Do I -- a-another pickle?” he stammered.

“They gave one to me, too, but I don’t like them,” you explained, taking the pickle spear from your plastic takeout box and setting it on top of his.

“Oh,” he murmured, stepping inside the room and letting the door close behind him. He pulled out the chair next to you since you’d placed his sandwich there, his heart doing a tiny somersault as he sat down. “Yeah, sure -- thank you. I suppose pickles are one of those things you either love or hate. There’s no in-between.”

You lifted your head up, holding your sandwich in your hands but pausing before actually eating it. “Actually, that sounds right. At least in my experience. I can’t think of a person I know who is on the fence about pickles. My sister always has a jar in her fridge, but her wife can barely stand the smell of them. My dad’s eyes light up when he sees a pickle, and he has to practically fight my mom to get the jar away from her.”

“So, you’re the odd one out, then?” Joo Hyuk asked.

Your brow furrowed, and you frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

“Everyone else in your family loves pickles, but you hate them.”

“Oh, right,” you breathed, your features smoothing with understanding. “No, my other sister hates pickles, too.”

“Good,” Joo Hyuk said with a small grin. “I’m glad you’re not alone in your hatred.”

You chuckled softly at that before taking a bite of your sandwich.

Joo Hyuk followed suit if only to stop himself from going on about pickles. You had obviously moved on from the subject, and if he let his nerves control him, he knew he would continue the conversation. So, he stuffed his mouth with his turkey BLT instead.

As he chewed, you set your sandwich back down after just the one bite and reached for your laptop, sliding it closer to you and tapping on the keyboard to log in.

“Okay,” you said once you’d swallowed your bite. “I have an idea -- or the very beginning of an idea, so I want to hear your thoughts. And, please, be as honest as you can. I promise my feelings won’t be hurt if you tell me my idea is stupid.”

...How was he supposed to tell you that he would never think one of your ideas was stupid because literally everything you do and say is wonderful without you figuring out that he has romantic feelings for you?

Thankfully, he was still eating, so he had at least ten seconds to think of a platonic way to say that.

“Oh,” he began after gulping his food down. “No, I’m sure it’s great. You’re -- you’re really good... at this stuff. At... your job.”

Okay, well, that was definitely one way to say it.

But if you thought he was being awkward, you hid it well. Rather than side-eyeing him or quirking your brow judgmentally, you simply let out a soft chuckle and kept your gaze focused on your computer screen.

Joo Hyuk sighed inwardly with relief before continuing on eating his sandwich.

After another minute or so -- the conference room filled only with marginally awkward silence and the quiet tapping and clicking of your laptop -- you inhaled sharply and slid your chair closer to Joo Hyuk’s.

“Okay, take a look,” you said as you angled the computer so he could see the screen better.

Joo Hyuk quickly put his sandwich down and leaned in, trying to ignore how his heart skipped a beat when he smelled your perfume.

Side note: basically since his first day here, he’d been trying to think of a way to tell you that your perfume was the nicest scent in the entire universe. He had yet to be successful.

“I was thinking of starting some social media profiles for the company,” you told him as his eyes focused on the document you’d pulled up. “And I know we’re a publishing company, so at first thought, it may not make that much sense to have a Twitter or Instagram account. People like to follow their favorite authors, not the people who publish their books. But if we created a social media presence that actually connects with the majority of our audience, I think we could be successful.”

Joo Hyuk nodded slowly, his brow furrowed as he listened to your words and read through your proposal at the same time.

“So, like the Wendy’s Twitter?” he murmured.

“I was thinking more like the SparkNotes Instagram, but you’ve got the right idea,” you chuckled. “Just a way to engage with readers in a more... colloquial way.”

Joo Hyuk nodded slowly, glancing over at you as he leaned back in his chair. “It could definitely work. It’s a smart business model that we know can be successful.”

“Well, I was also thinking we could get some of our more popular authors to do takeovers on the accounts or go live and do Q&As and whatnot.”

With that, Joo Hyuk raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I like that,” he nodded, and when his gaze flitted over to you, he saw you were only semi-successfully holding back a smile.

“Yeah?” you asked with a wrinkled forehead. “You don’t think it’s too... I don’t know, lame? Or simple?”

One corner of Joo Hyuk’s lips lifted into an amused smirk, and he shook his head. “No, I really don’t.”

“Okay, good,” you murmured with a sigh of relief. “I think I should come up with a 6-month timeline and create some mock social media posts -- well, that’s where you come in, actually.”

Joo Hyuk straightened a bit, his head tilting curiously. “Me?”

An angelic smile suddenly appeared on your lips, and you nodded eagerly. “Yes, you. I asked you, specifically, to help me because I think you’ll be really good at coming up with content to post.”

Again, Joo Hyuk could only ask, “...Me?”

“Yes,” you chuckled. “You’re always responding in the team chat with timely memes and gifs. Sometimes I have to look them up because they’re so fresh.”

...Well. You weren’t entirely wrong about that.

Joo Hyuk spent a lot of time scrolling through Reddit. Mainly because he didn’t have a bustling social life, but he also just liked to stay informed, and Reddit was the best place on the Internet for that. And between all of the posts with news articles were posts with memes, so having a mind equipped with the latest memes had become a regular thing for him.

“So, you want me to come up with... Tweets? And Instagram posts?”

“I mean, I will help you, of course,” you assured him hastily. “But... yes. If you want to. I’m not trying to force you, but on the other hand, I have no idea who else I would ask to help if you say ‘no,’ so --”

“No, no, I’ll do it,” Joo Hyuk interrupted with a soft laugh. And not just because he didn��t want anyone else spending this one-on-one time with you. He also thought he could actually do a good job with this.

“Okay, great,” you grinned. “The proposals are due in two weeks, so we’ll probably have to spend our lunch hours doing this... Or we could meet up outside of work if you’d rather do that.”

I’d rather do both! his mind yelped with delight.

“I’m fine with either,” his mouth murmured casually. “Or both. Whatever we need to get it done by then.”

You nodded before focusing your gaze back on your laptop and typing away on the keyboard. “I know you can’t see six months into the future to know what the memes will be, so just create a handful of posts and concentrate more on the logistics of it. How often you would post, what the caption formula will be, how long you would spend replying to followers and whatnot.”

“Got it,” Joo Hyuk confirmed before digging into his sandwich.

Seeing him eat must have reminded you that it was, in fact, lunchtime because you suddenly stopped typing and reached over for your own sandwich to take a bite.

God, you were so cute.

And there was really no reason for what you’d just done to be cute, but it still was. You abruptly remembering to eat and then hastily biting into your sandwich was cute.

That’s how he knew he had it bad.

I mean, there were a lot of reasons why he knew he had it bad -- this was just one of them. But you catch my drift!

It’s a pretty well-known fact that if a person doing something so mundane and, honestly, random made you inwardly squeal with delight, you absolutely were in love with them.

Now, that wasn’t something Joo Hyuk let himself admit very often. He knew he was in love with you, yes, but if he thought about it too often, he was pretty sure it would only make him more heartsick. It would make it that much harder for him to move on when, inevitably, you found someone else and got married to them.

“What are you smiling about?” you asked with the most adorable smirk Joo Hyuk had ever seen grace someone’s lips. But he couldn’t focus too much on your adorable smirk because he was, apparently, being very obvious and letting his thoughts show on his face.

“Nothing,” he lied with a bashful chuckle. “Just getting a head start on meme content.”

“I knew you were the right choice,” you said, nodding confidently and shooting him a cheeky wink.

...Oh, god.

You’d winked at him.

There was no way he was going to survive this.

Somehow -- Joo Hyuk really didn’t know how, but somehow -- he managed to survive it. Or, at least, he’d managed to survive having lunch with you every day for the rest of the week.

He’d managed to survive smelling your perfume, hearing your soft laughs, seeing the concentrated expression on your face, feeling the soft, barely-there brush of your arm against his when you wheeled over to look at his computer screen.

To be quite honest, he was looking forward to the weekend more than usual because he felt like he just needed some time to recover!

But then you approached him near the end of the workday on Friday, clutching the binder you’d been using for your project to your chest as you stepped into the entrance of his cube.

“Hey,” you greeted, sounding just a bit apprehensive.

Joo Hyuk quickly locked his computer and swiveled around to face you. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked before taking his glasses off to let his eyes rest some.

“You can say ‘no,’ of course, but... I was just wondering... if you’d want to work some over the weekend? I’m just starting to stress about the deadline, and I want to make sure I have all my bases covered. But I can totally work on it on my own, and we can pick back up on Monday, I completely understand if you --”

“No, it’s fine,” Joo Hyuk interrupted, eyebrows raised. “I’m free all weekend.”

Because of course he wasn’t going to turn down an opportunity to spend time with you outside of work. On a weekend! It didn’t matter you would still be doing work -- he didn’t care. And he didn’t care that he’d just been thinking that he needed this weekend to recover from all the lunch hours spent in close quarters with you. Those thoughts had gone out the window the second you’d said you were stressed about meeting the deadline and needed help.

And he felt even more validated when the expression on your face instantly transformed from apologetic and worried to relieved and grateful.

“Oh, really?” you sighed. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course,” Joo Hyuk answered as casually as he could. “I can meet up whenever.”

A hint of that apologetic expression crept back onto your features, and you wrinkled your nose slightly before asking, “Would you... mind... coming over tonight?”

Joo Hyuk was like most people in that he wasn’t particularly agreeable to working on a Friday evening after having just worked for five consecutive days, so he was about to suggest tomorrow instead.

But then he realized you’d said come over.

As in... you were inviting him over to your place.

“No, I don’t mind. Not at all,” he told you with a soft shake of his head.

Yeah, there was no way he was going to pass up an opportunity to go over to your apartment. To see where you lived.

...That sounded a little more creepy than he meant it.

He just thought that a person’s living quarters said a lot about them, and since he only ever saw you at work, he was just interested to see what your home life was like.

That made sense, right?

Since you always dressed professionally and wore perfume, he had to assume that your apartment would be nicely decorated. But probably not too nice. Not the kind of furniture and décor that made you scared to touch anything. Just nice enough to show that you cared what your home looked like.

I mean, even your cube here at work had pictures hanging up, and your desk was nicely organized. You definitely cared about your surroundings!

“Joo Hyuk!”

Your somewhat forceful voice shook him out of his daydreams, and his cheeks flushed because he knew he’d done it again -- he’d gotten lost in his thoughts and hadn’t been listening to you.

“I asked if you drive to work,” you told him -- and was he imagining it, or did you not sound quite as annoyed and exasperated as you usually did?

“Oh -- no,” he shook his head. “I take the subway.”

“Perfect,” you nodded. “We can ride together back to my place. Leave at five?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

You shot him one last smile and thanked him one last time before scurrying back over to your desk and getting back to work.

Joo Hyuk sat at his computer for a few minutes, staring at the screen but not doing anything.

Finally, he slid from his chair and made his way to the bathroom down the hall so he could inwardly freak out in peace. By staying at his desk, he risked you seeing him smiling to himself, and he really didn’t think he could hold it in any longer. So, to the bathroom he went!

Thankfully, the bathroom was empty, so Joo Hyuk took the opportunity to splash some water on his face. He placed his glasses on the ledge of the mirror, turned on the faucet, and bent down, hoping the cold water would calm his nerves.

Why did you make him feel like a teenager again? Why was he this excited to just go over to your apartment? Why was his stomach filled with butterflies, and why was his heart racing and skipping every other beat, and why did he need to splash his face with cold water to try and stop himself from smiling like an idiot?

Honestly, it was a little embarrassing. If he wasn’t looking forward to working with you in a few hours -- and if he didn’t think it was actually necessary in order to meet your deadline -- he would come up with an excuse to cancel.

That’s how ridiculous this all was.

But, as it were, he knew he couldn’t cancel. He didn’t want to. So, he would just have to get it together and try not to daydream for the rest of the workday.

Daydreaming would definitely not help. He would absolutely not let himself get lost in scenarios of living at your apartment.

Actually, that was one of his favorite things to imagine -- daily life with you.

Was it strange that his daydreams were that... normal? It’s not like he imagined you as a princess and him as a prince or a stable boy or something. No, his daydreams were always just the two of you as you actually were, living and working together. He wasn’t really sure why, now that he thought about it. But it was comforting.

...And now he was getting lost in thought about his daydreams.

Oh, boy.

“Ready to go?” you asked, appearing at the entrance to his cube right at five o’clock.

Joo Hyuk swiftly turned off his computer and pushed his chair away from his desk, shooting you a tight-lipped grin. “Mhm,” he hummed with a nod.

“Thanks again,” you said as the two of you began to walk out toward the elevators. “For doing this. I’m sure you’d much rather be doing anything else on a Friday evening.”

Little did you know...

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Joo Hyuk assured you, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Honestly. Like I said, I don’t have any plans.”

“Well, I really do appreciate it,” you told him, glancing over your shoulder and grinning at him. “I’ll try not to keep you too late.”

And, of course, that made him start to daydream about getting stuck at your apartment overnight because the two of you had worked so hard you hadn’t even noticed the time.

If only!

But then he remembered what he’d seen when he’d checked the weather for the weekend.

“Oh, yeah, I did see there may be some thunderstorms tonight,” he mentioned. “Hopefully not too bad.”

“Oh,” you murmured, your lips curving down into a frown. “Well... yeah, hopefully.”

Somehow, Joo Hyuk could tell you were about to ask him yet again if he was sure, so he answered you before you even got the chance. “No worries, it’ll be fine.”

The elevators were now in sight, and Joo Hyuk reached around you to push the down button once you’d arrived.

It really wasn’t difficult for him to imagine that the two of you were leaving together because you were romantically involved and, at the very least, living together.

You know what? It was Friday, so he was going to indulge himself.

In this daydream scenario, the two of you were married. You had both just worked a long, hard week and were on your way home to relax on the couch with some pizza and a movie. Probably a romantic movie -- Joo Hyuk didn’t know what type of movies you preferred, but he always imagined the two of you watching romantic ones. Like Pride & Prejudice or The Notebook.

The two of you would hold hands as you walked to the subway, your wedding bands glittering in the setting sunlight.

You would slip your arm through his as you sat on the train, resting your cheek against his shoulder as you played a game on your phone. Joo Hyuk would mainly just watch silently but would chime in to help you every so often.

After ordering pizza on the train, you would arrive home and change into comfy clothes before starting the movie. Joo Hyuk would get up when the pizza arrived even though you would protest because you were too comfortable all cuddled up to him. But he would promise he would be back in a minute -- with food. That would ease your reluctance, of course, but you would still make him kiss you three times before he got up.

Then, as soon as he flopped back onto the couch and opened the pizza box --

“Joo Hyuk,” you said, nudging his arm.

...Oh.

Apparently, he had entered Autopilot mode after stepping onto the elevator and starting his daydream because he was now sitting next to you on the subway train, and he really had no recollection of how he’d gotten here.

Whoops.

“Hmm?” he hummed, pushing his glasses further up his nose and blinking away his extremely detailed daydream.

“What do you want for dinner? My treat. Whatever you want.”

Whatever he wanted?

Well, in that case.

“Pizza?”

Yes, he was going to indulge himself even more and get you to order the same food you’d ordered in his marriage daydream.

Was that sad?

Oh, well. Even if it was, he didn’t care!

“Pizza it is,” you nodded, tapping on your phone and bringing up the app for a pizza chain. “What toppings do you like? Please tell me you don’t like pineapple.”

A smile tugged at Joo Hyuk’s lips, and he said, “No, I don’t. Why? What’s wrong with pineapple?”

“Nothing!” you replied with raised eyebrows. “It just doesn’t belong on pizza.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “I like whatever. Pepperoni’s good.”

“Do you like black olives?” you asked hopefully.

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried them on pizza, but go ahead. I’ll try ‘em.”

He covertly watched as you created the pizza in the app, chose the store location, and set up a delivery.

Now it was far too easy to imagine that his daydream had become real.

Alas, the two of you were not going home to watch a movie and have a cozy night in. You were just going to work. And Joo Hyuk didn’t live at your place.

Not too much later after you’d placed the order for the pizza, you murmured to Joo Hyuk that your stop was coming up. He nodded and stood up when you did just a minute later, following you off the train and out of the station.

His heart began to creep up into his throat the farther you walked down the sidewalk, and when you veered toward the entrance of an apartment complex, he physically had to gulp down his anticipation.

“I cleaned up fairly recently, so hopefully, it’s not too bad,” you said with a hint of guilt in your voice as you approached the door to your apartment, reaching into your bag for your keys. “Don’t judge me if it’s a little messy.”

“No, of course not,” Joo Hyuk replied with a quiet laugh. “You work late every day, I don’t see how you have time to do anything.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I need to find a hobby that will keep me from being such a workaholic.”

If it didn’t sound absolutely strange, Joo Hyuk would’ve recommended daydreaming to you. It sure kept him from working too hard.

When you managed to get your front door open, Joo Hyuk silently took a breath, holding it for a few moments as he stepped through your doorway.

The first thing he noticed was that it smelled wonderful -- like your perfume.

The second thing he noticed was that it wasn’t all that messy. It simply looked like someone lived here.

And the third thing he noticed was that he hadn’t quite gotten it right. You did have some nice furniture, but it wasn’t sleek or modern in any form. Almost nothing matched, including the dining chairs at your small table, and yet... everything went together perfectly.

It was cozy and unique and... so incredibly you.

“Your place is really nice,” he said as you hung up your bag and jacket on a coat rack.

“Oh, thank you,” you replied. “I love going to thrift stores and vintage boutiques, so nothing really matches. I just get what I like and throw it somewhere.”

“Well, I think it all looks great,” he assured you.

He really hadn’t thought you could get any more perfect, but, for some reason, hearing that you bought all of your furniture from thrift stores only added to that.

“Thanks,” you repeated. “Make yourself at home, the pizza should be here in a few minutes. We can just eat in the living room at the coffee table.”

Joo Hyuk nodded in agreement, trying to push away thoughts of watching romantic movies with you on this very couch as he headed over there, perching on the edge of the cushion.

You followed him, laying out your notebook and opening your laptop on the coffee table so you both could continue working on your presentation.

The pizza arrived a few minutes later, as you’d predicted, and soon enough, both of you were settled in comfortably, eating and working and discussing the mock social media posts Joo Hyuk had invented.

But then, after a somewhat brief lull and seemingly out of the blue, you said, “Can I ask you something?”

Joo Hyuk’s forehead wrinkled slightly. “Sure,” he murmured, though he would be lying if he said your question didn’t make him nervous.

“You seem to... How do I put this...? You seem to get... distracted. Quite a lot. I’m just -- There’s nothing wrong with it or anything, I’m just curious.”

To be quite honest, he was surprised you had waited this long to ask. He’d lost count of how many times you’d had to pull him out of a daydream -- and quite forcefully, too.

“Right,” he began with a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, I -- I just tend to get lost in my thoughts. It’s like, one thing leads to another, and then all of a sudden I’m thinking about fifty different things at the same time.”

It wasn’t a lie -- he just left off the part about how most of those fifty thoughts were about you.

“Got it,” you nodded. “My dad is like that, actually, so I understand. He’s the dreamer in the family. Actually... you kind of remind me of him.”

Why did that make Joo Hyuk absurdly happy?

“Oh?” he muttered.

“Yeah, he’s tall just like you. Wears glasses. Kind of quiet but really sweet. Smart. Gets distracted easily.”

Yep, that sounded like him, all right.

“He sounds like a great guy,” Joo Hyuk replied with a tiny smirk.

“He is,” you chuckled. “I never really knew you reminded me of him until this week. I actually... was a little hesitant to ask you to work with me because of the whole easily distracted thing... But... I’m glad I did.”

Joo Hyuk stared at you, blinking, because he had to figure out if you could actually hear his heart thumping in his chest.

When it was clear you didn’t, he swallowed down a lump of anxiety before saying, “Me -- me, too. It’s been fun, and I -- I really like your idea.”

A very loud crack of thunder cut him off from saying anything more, and you jumped a little, quickly turning toward the window to investigate.

“Oh,” you breathed shakily. “I guess you were right about that thunderstorm.”

All of a sudden -- about as suddenly as your question just now -- the sound of pouring rain thrashing against your windows filled the room, and a bright flash of lightning briefly lit up your face.

“I guess so,” Joo Hyuk replied, keeping his gaze on you to make sure you didn’t show any signs of fright or anxiety. He would probably either freeze up or faint if he had to comfort you, but he would still do it! In a heartbeat! A rapid, irregular heartbeat!

But after staring at the window for a few moments, you simply let out a soft sigh and turned back to your laptop.

Oh, well. It was probably for the better.

Joo Hyuk turned back to his work, too, though the thunderstorm had quickly become a distraction -- he wasn’t sure how much work he could actually get done while sitting on your couch in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Then, as if the atmosphere itself heard his thoughts, another lightning strike flashed outside. And your lights flickered inside.

Just as Joo Hyuk’s eyes darted up to the overhead light in your living room, they flickered yet again before turning off completely.

“...Oh,” you uttered.

The two of you simply looked up at the overhead light for a few, silent moments, and when it was clear it wasn’t going to come back on, you let out a sigh and closed your laptop.

“Well,” you said, standing up from your spot on the floor and moving to sit on the couch next to Joo Hyuk. “Not sure how much work we can get done now.”

“...No,” he breathed.

The hairs on his arm and neck stood on end as he felt the electricity of your presence now next to him. When you brought your legs up, tucking your feet up underneath you, your knee brushed his and he almost audibly gasped.

If the two of you weren’t going to work, what was your plan? Were you just going to sit here in silence --

“We could play a game?” you suggested.

Joo Hyuk wasn’t sure his mind was in the right place to be good at any sort of game, but it was better than sitting in silence.

“What kind of game?” he asked quietly.

“We could play...” you began, your brow furrowing as you bit the inside of your cheek in thought. “...two truths and a lie? Truth or dare?”

Neither of those sounded ideal, but Joo Hyuk decided that truth or dare was the better option. In this state, what kind of dares could you come up with? Nothing he couldn’t handle, surely.

“Truth or dare,” he nodded.

“All right, you go first. Truth or dare.”

...Wow. He couldn’t believe he was sitting in your apartment, in the dark during a thunderstorm, playing truth or dare.

Was this even real?

“Dare.”

Because picking truth was far too risky.

“All right,” you murmured. “I dare you to... go into my fridge and drink a mouthful of hot sauce.”

“Done,” he nodded before standing up and shuffling over to your kitchen. He quickly opened your fridge, searched for the hot sauce, then completed his dare without any hesitation.

“Wow!” you laughed when he sat back down next to you. “That was impressive!”

“Spicy food doesn’t bother me,” he shrugged, though he would admit he wouldn’t mind drinking a large glass of water right now. “All right, now you. Truth or dare?”

Please pick truth, please pick truth, please pick --

“Truth,” you declared.

Joo Hyuk had to stop himself from smiling with delight.

“Describe your ideal partner.”

Your forehead wrinkled almost immediately. “Like romantic partner?”

Joo Hyuk simply nodded.

“Okay...” you murmured before letting out a thoughtful hum. “Well. I don’t know that I really have an ideal partner, but my ideal relationship is one like what my parents have.”

Joo Hyuk raised his eyebrows, though he wasn’t really sure why he was surprised. I guess because you rarely ever talked about your parents. He really only knew that you had both of them and they both loved pickles.

“Yeah?” he asked quietly.

You nodded, humming positively. “They’re just... they love each other and they like each other. They love spending time with each other. They support each other. They’ve been together for so long, but they’re still so in love. They’re best friends. ...That’s what I want.”

Before he could stop them, the words “That’s what I want, too,” came out of his mouth.

A wistful smile tugged at your lips. “I hope we get that someday. I think we deserve it.”

Joo Hyuk couldn’t even nod in agreement even though he definitely did agree with you. Hearing those words come out of your mouth had just... he didn’t want to be dramatic, but those words had destroyed him. In a really good way.

“Truth or dare?” you asked.

“...Dare,” he choked out.

The two of you continued for a few turns, back and forth. Joo Hyuk always chose ‘dare’, and you always chose ‘truth.’

You had just finished telling him about your most embarrassing moment in school, and Joo Hyuk was still laughing softly when he, yet again, chose ‘dare.’

“Okay, I dare you to tell me why you keep choosing ‘dare.’”

Joo Hyuk’s smile fell quickly, and he froze.

...Oh.

“I...” he gulped before slowly shifting his gaze to look at you.

He could lie to you. He could make something up, and you would probably (hopefully) believe it.

But... it just felt wrong to do that. It was truth or dare, after all. You had, seemingly, been truthful with all of your answers so far.

Plus, he wasn’t sure he wanted to lie to you.

So, he took a deep breath and said, “I... because I’m scared of what you’ll ask me if I pick ‘truth.’”

A confused half-smile tugged at your lips. “What do you mean?”

“I’m scared that you’ll ask me... I don’t know, anything.”

“Why would that scare you?” you chuckled.

“Well, for example, if you asked me what I first asked you -- describe your ideal partner. My answer would be you. If you asked me what I’m actually thinking about when I get so distracted, my answer would be you. If you asked me what I like most about work, my answer would be you. If you asked me what my most embarrassing moment was, my answer would be right now, and I know this is embarrassing, but for some reason, I just can’t stop and --”

He really had no idea what had brought on that little tirade -- that string of confessions -- but it was unexpectedly and swiftly ended when you leaned over and placed your lips on his.

But then you just as quickly pulled away, bringing your fingers up to cover your mouth. “Oh, I am so sorry,” you whispered. “I don’t --”

But now that he’d kissed you, he wasn’t going back.

Joo Hyuk leaned right back over, reaching out and cradling your cheek in his palm as he kissed you again.

His heart absolutely burst. His stomach flipped around, over and over.

“No, Joo Hyuk --” you murmured.

He immediately stopped, pulling away just enough so you could speak properly.

“We shouldn’t --” you continued.

“Do you... not want to?” he whispered.

“I -- No, it’s not that, I just --”

Joo Hyuk held his breath as he waited for you to come up with the right words.

“I... I could be... your boss soon. This --”

Well, if that was the only thing holding you back!

Joo Hyuk captured your lips in a kiss again.

“No, wait --” you hummed.

“I don’t care,” he breathed. “I’ll transfer, I’ll quit, I don’t care.”

“What?!” you chirped, leaning back and looking at him with alarm. “What are you --”

“Y/N,” Joo Hyuk began. “I -- you don’t know how long I have -- I would much rather... be with you than keep my job. I can work anywhere. But you...”

You sat there, the tips of your noses just barely touching, your heavy breaths drowning out the sounds of the thunderstorm outside.

“Really?” you finally whispered.

“Yes,” he assured you just as softly. “All that stuff you said about your ideal relationship... I want that, too, and I’ve wanted that with you for... so long.”

“I mean, I’ve always thought you were cute,” you replied with a quiet, nervous chuckle. “But -- really? Why didn’t you...?”

But then you seemed to think better of your question because you shook your head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

And then you kissed him again.

And you were right. It didn’t matter.

Nothing else mattered. Not the storm, not the power outage, not your presentation, not the cold pizza on the coffee table.

The only thing that mattered was you.

You had been the only thing that had ever mattered to him -- truly mattered.

And he would spend the rest of his life making sure you were the only thing that ever would matter.

To him, at least.

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS

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mydramaspace · 3 years

Text

Part 3: "Are you really that oblivious?" In which everything floods out into the open.

If you're new here, you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here! :')

Part 3. Posted on 7 May 2021.

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Sometimes, you feel like your entire life is going to be a series of duck-and-hides from people you know. Because that is what you have been doing ever since you ran out from the cafeteria a week ago when you saw Joo Hyuk looking at you. Min Hyuk has been trying to contact you everyday, but you've ignored every single one of his texts and calls, and have hardly left your room. Yes, it is unhealthy to eat only slices of bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner each day but desperate times call for desperate measures and you know for sure there has been no person more desperate than you for a while now. But today, you will have to step out. You will have to brave the world, and confront anything that needs confrontation. But that's okay, you've got a solution for that: headphones, loud music, and power walking. No one would dare approach you if they couldn't see you power walk your way past them. One can only catch you if they see you, haha!

Even as you step out into the street, you know your plan is the stupidest thing you've ever thought of, and you've done many stupid things, including but not limited to thinking fuck meant a variety of fish. You duck your head, put on the most fast-paced music you have and begin your walk of shame to the administrative office to drop off your test results. Walk of shame indeed, your answers on that test will be enough to give your examiner second-hand embarrassment for most of his life.

Your mind must be playing tricks on you because everywhere you look, you keep seeing Joo Hyuk. Or so you think, because it is never actually him. He wears a lot of the same fandom shirts for some game that a lot of boys at your university wear too. Capitalism has really made life difficult for everyone on the planet, and you finally agree with every anti-capitalist argument you've heard till date. Capitalism is making it difficult for you to walk a few meters without flinching every time you see a t-shirt that reminds you of Joo Hyuk. You're so busy keeping an eye out for him, you forget about the other annoying brat who's on your tail. Min Hyuk.

And Min Hyuk grabs your hoodie and drags you all the way to the classroom upstairs. You struggle, throw a tantrum, almost like you're crying for your life because who knows what sort of nonsensical things he's gonna feed into your mind at this point. You resist until he lets you go in front of the classroom, both of you breathing hard, and whack him on his head. Hard. "Ow! That almost makes me regret helping him." Min Hyuk glares at you. "Help? Help who?"

"Why don't you find out genius?" You shoot a dirty look at him and walk into the classroom, only to come to a dead halt. Joo Hyuk is standing there, his back to you, and on the board in front of him, is a graph and many many equations. A laugh strangles its way out of you, and then you're laughing loudly, clutching your stomach. For a moment there you thought, no, you hoped, he was going to confess that he likes you. Foolish foolish thought, Y/n. Min Hyuk must have snitched to him that you're struggling with your Statistics revision, and being the good best friend he is, Joo Hyuk has stepped forward to help.

You are so embarrassed, you want to fling yourself off the cliff that is a few kilometers away from your campus.

Joo Hyuk jumps, startled by your laugh. When his eyes land on you, his entire body relaxes, and you realize how painfully him that gesture is. Well that is what best friends are like around each other right? Completely at ease. That's what your mind is saying, the logical, rational way of thinking. The way that will not end up in you hoping for something more, then being disappointed and then crying yourself to sleep again. But your heart...you heart is saying something else entirely.

"You're here!" It's as if his entire being lights up on seeing your awkward wave and he excitedly grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you to stand in front of the board where all the equations begin. You know, I'm really not in the mood for stats now, of all times. Maybe you should say it out loud. Maybe you should tell him, for once, and safeguard yourself from the hurt you know is going to consume you the minute you realize it's not the confession that your heart is hoping for.

"Joo Hyuk I-" your sentence is cut off when you realize how close Joo Hyuk is standing to you. Your back is almost touching his chest, and you can feel the heat emanating from his gray sweatshirt, smell that ocean-scented detergent he always uses on his clothes, and feel the hairs rising on your hand, your ears going red, and the throbbing of your heart. You can see the smudges of chalk dust all over his face, and the lights overhead sparkle in his eyes like star dust. And his eyes are on you. "You what, Y/n?"

"I-" Words seem to have fled your mind.

"You can tell me later. First, take a look at the board."

"I'm not in the mood for a math lesson, y'know?"

"Okay, but it's not a math lesson."

You cut a quick glance to the board and scoff. There are plus and minus symbols all over the place, and similarity indexes scribbled hastily alongside a graph chart. "Okay fine, it's a stats lesson. But I'm not in the mood for that either."

"Really? Did you take a proper look at the first equation?" You roll your eyes but take a look, curiosity stemming through you. "The mode equation?" You wonder out loud, and Joo Hyuk voices an affirmation, and that's when you feel the warmth spreading all over your arm. You turn sharply, to see his hand over yours, a piece of chalk tucked into your fingers. You look at him, hardly breathing, hardly hoping because these things only happen in fiction. How can this be happening to you? No, he's just helping you out that's all. Nothing more. Nothing-

"Look at it properly, Y/n, please." He guides your hand to the equation, the feel of his rough calloused palm against the back of your hand sending shivers running through you. "See what it says?"

All sense, all coherency, all your English words have deserted you when you most need them. "The what now?" And he laughs looking at your expression, and its a laugh that rumbles through his chest into you like a physical hug of comfort and you want to wallow in it forever, you don't want this moment to ever end. "The formula for the mode of my thoughts."

That snaps you back. The mode of his...thoughts?

"Your thoughts?"

You've never been so grateful that he's taller than you. Because this, standing with him, feels like heaven. And even if he never confesses to you, you'll take the memory of this to your grave, relive it a hundred times in life and even more so in death. So much more that you're determined to be called the ghost of reliving in whichever place all people go to after they die.

Joo Hyuk's laughter gets happier, and you slap your free palm across your mouth, horrified that you said all that out loud. "But, Y/n, I am confessing. Or at least I'm trying to, but you're not cooperating." He grins at you like everything is alright in the world, like he hasn't just dropped a verbal atomic bomb on you just now.

"You're what?"

He pulls you gently to the graph, one hand still enclosed around your hand with the chalk pressing into your palm. You clutch it tighter, almost unable to believe that this is actually happening. "Take a look." he lets go and steps back, and you step back too, almost in reflex, to get a good look.

And your breath leaves you in one breath.

Because on the graph, you see your name multiple times. "Wait, you do know what mode is right?" Joo Hyuk sounds panicked, and you would have smacked him if you weren't so inexplicably happy right now.

"Yes. The element that is repeated the most number of times. So if this is a mode of your thoughts..."

"It means I think of you the most every day of the week, every hour of the day, most of the minutes of the hour, because I do spend some minutes thinking of when to do my laundry sometimes and then I need to think of feeding my dog and I-"

You don't let him finish the sentence and fling yourself at him, enveloping him a tight hug. "You're such a dork." Your voice is all wavy because of the emotions threatening to consume you. Happiness, surprise, happiness, surprise, love. "Is that in a good way or a bad way?"

"What do you think?" You demand, unable to believe how oblivious he's being.

"Well, about 50% of researches online say it's a negative connotation, and the remaining 50 are divided in their results and I don't know which one I believe frankly because most of their data is skewed and their data sets rarely match the published-"

"Oh my god, it's a good thing you dork!" You press your lips to his, effectively silencing him. It takes him a good moment to kiss you back, but when he does, it's enough to make the world slip beneath your feet.

But that's okay because he grabs onto you, and you're very sure you will not be letting go of him too. And in the corner of the board, in the teeniest letters ever possible are the words I see sparks fly, whenever you smile.

xxxxxxxx

A/n: I had the biggest grin on my face while I was writing, cause ahhhhh these two nerds <3

Hope you liked this haha!

#nam joo hyuk #korean actor #adorable dork #nam joo hyuk x reader #reader x nam joo hyuk #fanfic #reader romance #romance #friends to lovers #nam do san #start up #korean drama

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