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#no matter what happens it adds so much to the series as a whole WHY IS NO ONE AS OBSESSED WITH HIM AS I AM
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it’s occurring to me that i have to be the Very Loud Skizz Enthusiast i want to see in the world.
so, here’s a bit of skizz character analysis for you: throughout the life serieses, when he’s presented with a license to kill, he’s torn between two competing desires: bloodlust and mercy.  he mostly acts on the latter, but it’s crucial to understand that both are there.
for instance: in third life, episode 7, he got those two permakills and rushed into a doomed last stand in the crastle, but he also inadvertently spared scar and very deliberately and knowingly spared bdubs.  in last life, when cleo was on red and hassling the snow fort, he acknowledged that them setting him on fire meant he could technically attack her, and continued to really want to attack her throughout her whole presence there, but decided against it.  he spent last life episode 7 full of rather bloodlust and wanting to kill, but never succeeded at it.
all this is to say: skizz on yellow, with full authority to kill any green lives, could go any number of ways, and frankly any way it goes would be very fun to watch.
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yueebby · 9 months
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indulge me? — gojo satoru
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synopsis you and gojo go on an overnight mission and it goes wrong in every way
contents so. much. pining. (2.8k words of it!?), one bed trope, whipped!gojo, ooc gojo, completely self indulgent, a lot of cardiovascular talk, they’re first years in this!
notes first time i’ve written in AGES. sorry :3 ps this is a little snippet from a satosugu x reader series im thinking about starting. thoughts?
(edit: i wrote a part ii)
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Gojo Satoru was born blessed. From birth and to death he will always be honored. It wasn't his fault that the Heavens delighted in him. So when Yaga had announced that he and you would be sharing an overnight mission to Kyushu, he nearly leapt in joy (lucky him)!
You, on the other hand, were less than thrilled to find out that you were going to be traveling alone with Gojo Satoru. For two whole days. It was a death sentence.
“Make sure to text me, so I know you're not dead.” Shoko looks between you and Gojo. Either your head will implode as a result of Gojo, or he is gonna be on the receiving end of your wrath. Shoko can’t wait to see which.
“Do take pictures, I heard the onsens there are incredible.” Suguru slyly adds. Satoru perks up at his comment. The two of them share a knowing look before Gojo speaks up.
“Wanna take a dip with me once we get there, [Name]?” He looks into your eyes, his lips are quirked upwards like he’s up to no good (which he is). “I promise I won’t take a peek!” He winks.
“Keep fantasizing, Gojo.”
“Oh I will.” He hums happily. The smile on his lips is kind of cute, you decide. Just a little.
— — — — — — — 
Kurokawa, you come to find out is a very small town in Kyushu. So when people start to go missing, the entire town falls into shambles. Before your trip, Yaga had made it known the enemy you’d be facing. 
“A common denominator of the missing persons is that they were all young women.” He had warned you and Gojo. “It’s an unidentified curse, but I trust that the two of you will be able to handle it.”
Three missing girls. All under the age of 25. Two of which were locals, one being a tourist. 
The moment you arrive on the island of Kyushu, your guard is higher than ever. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Gojo.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of some horny curse,” He looks down at you as the two of you make your way down a small street to your ryokan. Kurokawa was a traditional town, its pride resting on the old culture causing it to be untouched by modern architecture.
Unamused by his nonchalant attitude, you decide to ignore his vulgar comment, “What grade curse do you think we’re up against?”
He makes a noise to show that he’s thinking. “Does it really matter? It’ll be no match for me either way.”
You roll your eyes, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, we still have to figure out what happened to the victims.”
“I don’t see why that’s necessary, but okay.” Your snow haired peer dismisses. It makes you a bit envious that he doesn’t have to ever feel fear for his life. Must be nice.
The two of you arrived at your designated ryokan soon enough, it was a small town after all. Gojo leads the way with you following right after. You can’t discern any cursed energy in the building, but you still make a mental note to ask Gojo about it after you both are situated. 
An elderly lady in an orange kimono stood behind the desk, smiling at you and you returned it back happily.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen a young couple here.” She says. That’s right, with the recent disappearance of young girls, there would be a sudden decrease of tourism around this part of town. “You certainly are a beautiful match!”
You gratefully accept her compliment, “Thank you, but we’re not–”
“Thanks granny!” Gojo wraps a strong arm around your shoulder. “I don’t know how I even managed to win her over!” There’s a wide grin on his face that makes your eye twitch. Leave it to him to tell people the two of you were together. Not only that but he totally disrespected the old lady with his informal talk!
“Unhand me, you!” You forcefully whisper at him, while trying to unwrap yourself from his hold. His arm does not budge even as you try to push it off. What the hell is this boy eating? Gojo chuckles with the old lady while you struggle.
“My, the two of you remind me so much of my husband and I in the days of our youth,” She sighs dreamily. Her age must be interfering with her memory because there was nothing inherently romantic going on between you and Gojo. “How long will you be staying here?”
“Only one night,” Gojo decides that he has tormented you enough and lets you go. He slides her his card and she pulls out something from the old wooden counter she stands behind. 
A single key.
Your eyes bug out. Gojo’s eyebrows raise. You laugh nervously, face feeling warmer than it was thirty seconds ago.
“There must have been a misunderstanding. We need two rooms, ma’am.” You hold up two fingers to emphasize your point. 
The smile on the old woman’s face falls, “I’m afraid I cannot do that.” Your jaw drops.
“Huh? Why not?” You press on further. Surely they could not have been booked out of all of their rooms. Tourism is at an all time low after the strange disappearances.
“I’m sure you’ve heard of the strange disappearances in the area. It’s a miracle the two of you have even decided to stay here, which I am very grateful for. That is why I must repay you back by ensuring your safety. Otherwise I must ask you to leave and stay in the next town because I will not allow you to endanger yourself so carelessly.” 
You blink. Neighboring town? That was hours away. The curse was here in Kurokawa. You can’t afford to jeopardize a mission just because of your own feelings.
Gojo’s hand is halfway to the key, but he waits for your approval. You sigh.
“It’s fine, we can do one. Thank you.” You bow your head. She smiled apologetically as she handed Gojo the key. Gojo, unbothered by the revelation, whistles happily as the lady leads the way to your suite.
— — — — — — — 
operation satoru x [name]!!!!
Gojosatowu added getosugu, shoko.ieiri
Gojosatowu You wont believe it!!! shoko.ieiri What the hell is this gc And what the hell is Operation satoru x [name]?  getosugu  how come [name] isn’t in this? Gojosatowu Ladies, ladies, one question at a time please getosugu  Expect a forehead flick for that comment shoko.ieiri  Stfu and just answer the questions Gojosatowu alright alright [name] and i are sharing a room in kyushu!! i may come out of this mission a changed man. shoko.ieiri  someone make sure [name] is still alive and well Gojosatowu I dont appreciate your lack of faith in me >:( shoko.ieiri  Keep a six feet distance from her at all times perv Gojosatowu I might have to for my own sanity. What do you think she wears to bed? shoko.ieiri  You disgust me sometimes getosugu  Only sometimes? shoko.ieiri  Let me correct myself. You disgust me. Gojosatowu Im feeling the love :(
“What are you giggling to yourself about?” You place a hand on your hips as you watch Gojo smile at his flip phone.
“Oh don’t you worry about it,” He closes it. Weird. “What’s the living situation?”
You sigh. “Despite its traditional arrangement, there is a bed.”
Gojo perks up. “Yeesh I’m glad! If I had to sleep on the floor my back would be all sore right on a mission. Y'know how annoying that is?”
You suck your teeth. “Allow me to rephrase myself. There is only one bed.” 
There is an awful silence in the room, save for your erratically beating heart. Of course the old woman decided to place you in a couple’s suite.  
“Heh.” Gojo chortles happily. “Wow, this must be a divine sign from God Himself. I mean, who are we to ignore this?”
“Don’t start,” You hold out an accusatory finger at him. “I’m gonna go request an extra futon.”
He pouts, “Don’t be like that, sharing a bed with me can’t be that bad.”
“I’m willing to bet otherwise.” You walk past him. The white haired boy watches you go like a sad puppy.
— — — — — — — 
You took your time getting an extra futon, using it as an excuse to get all of the nervousness out of your system of sharing the same room as Gojo Satoru. Sharing a room with a boy was already bad enough, but Gojo? Your heart skipped a beat (out of nervousness, you insist!).
By the time you make it back to the room, the lights are out. You assume that Gojo decided to go to sleep early. You don’t blame him. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day of hunting for the curse rampaging Kurokawa. 
The only light source in the room is coming from the bathroom. You sigh. The idiot must’ve forgotten to turn it off. Nonetheless, you were gonna go get unready either way so you make your way to the half open door.
On the sink is a complimentary toothbrush that you help yourself to. You apply some paste and–
There is a sound of something sliding shut from behind you. You look up at the mirror. Standing behind you was Gojo. Wet. And naked. 
“Oh my gosh!” You spit out your toothpaste and ran out of the room. How did you fail to see that Gojo was in the restroom? You blame it on the sliding doors separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom. Oh my gosh. Your face feels like it’s on fire. He has a six pack. And why does his stupid hair look like that when it's wet? Your heart was beating at an abnormal rate. This is so inappropriate.
Shortly after your freakout, Gojo steps out of the bathroom. There was no way you could face him now.
“Aw, don't be so shy now. It’s not like this will be the last time you’ll see me like this.” Gojo stands in the doorway. There is a towel wrapped around his waist, still leaving him indecent in your eyes.
“I don’t like what you’re insinuating Gojo! And lock the door when you’re in the restroom you creep!” You look anywhere but him.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault, was it? You were taking so long I thought you left me here alone.” You can practically hear him pouting. “Either way, you were the one checking me out.”
Your eyes widen, “I was not checking you out! Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Don’t feel ashamed, this can all be yours,” He gestures down to his body.
“You freak.” you blanch.
He winks at you.
This was going to be a long night.
— — — — — — — 
It takes you about half an hour to calm down from the bathroom catastrophe. By now, you’re situated in your futon while Gojo is tucked on the bed. If you had to guess, it’d be nearing midnight around now. You just need to close your eyes and get some sleep before your mission tomorrow.
Except you can’t sleep.
Every time you close your eyes, your mind betrays you and an image of Gojo post shower illustrates itself in your mind. And it doesn’t help that he sleeps shirtless. You seriously need your mind cleansed.
That wasn’t your only issue. The room was sub zero. Who knew traditional ryokans had such advanced air conditioning systems? All you could hear was the air conditioning machine overworking itself. You could even argue that it was colder than Shoko’s morgue. And your sleep shirt and shorts were doing little to help insulate you. 
“Wanna come cuddle with me?” The last person you wanted to hear from breaks the silence. You pretend to be asleep. “I know you’re not asleep! My six eyes tell me that you’re shivering.” Busted.
“I am not cuddling with you.” You stare at the ceiling above you, arms crossed. How could he even propose such an idea? Has he no shame?
“Well I can’t face the old granny here if my girlfriend ends up dead by freezing!”
“I am not your girlfriend, Gojo. Nor will I die.”
“That’s not what she thinks. Plus we have a mission tomorrow, so I can’t have you getting sick on me now.”
“I’ll be fine, Gojo. Now go to sleep.”
“I run hot when I sleep, y’know. Let me be your personal heater.” You don’t have to see his face to know that he’s grinning.
“I refuse.”
“Well I refuse your refusal.”
You blink.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Now c'mon,” He pats the spot next to him. “I’ll even make a wall in between us.”
You hear the bedsheets shuffle and you have to sit up to see that Gojo was stacking two pillows in the middle of the bed to prove his point. You’re nearly certain that the only thing you’ll be catching soon is a headache if you keep up with his antics. It was a tempting offer, one that you would surely accept if it wasn’t Gojo Satoru.
“Gojo, I—”
“...Please?” His voice is softer than you have ever heard it. It was unfair how Gojo was making it harder and harder to reject his offer.
A silent moment passes by.
“...Fine,” You reluctantly get up from your pathetic excuse of a futon. “But no funny business!” You warn him. 
You see Gojo perk up from the bed. He looks at you with expectant eyes, “You got it!” He gives you a thumbs up. 
Whatever. If Gojo knew what was best for him, he wouldn’t try anything. You take in a deep breath before turning to face the opposite direction of where Gojo laid. 
“Good night [Name],” You hear Gojo whisper. You sigh.
“Yeah, yeah, goodnight Gojo.”
Eyes closed, you pray a silent prayer that everything will be fine for the remainder of the mission.
— — — — — — — 
Ever since Gojo was young, his body has been used to getting little amounts of sleep. Unsurprisingly, that caused him to have a natural alarm. It was always annoying whenever he woke up at the crack of dawn on a day when he didn't need to, but luckily for him, today it proved to be a blessing. There was an unfamiliar warmth radiating onto his body. Satoru opens his eyes.
He thinks he feels all of his six eyes widen when he feels himself wrapped around another body.
There you were, in all your beauty, lying fast asleep. In his embrace. Soft snores were escaping your mouth and there were stray hairs in your face. Did he mention how beautiful you looked sleeping? He might have to ask Shoko about heart disease because of how fast his heart was beating.
Unfortunately for him, you also seemed to be drifting away from dreamland and back to reality. Your eyes flutter and your eyebrows furrow. Gojo takes this to his advantage and does the worst thing he can think of; pretend to be asleep.
When you wake up, your mind is still hazy from the good night’s rest you had gotten, but not hazy enough to realize that your body was tangled with another’s. And you’re pretty sure the pillow you had been laying on last night was not this hard. You try to delude yourself into believing that this is all a dream, but the effects of your sleep were fading.
It takes all the strength in you to summon the courage to open your eyes. To your horror, you were firmly wrapped in Gojo’s arms and your legs were intertwined.
“What the hell?” You pull yourself away from him. On the floor below the bed laid the two pillows that Gojo had set up as a makeshift wall. You stare at them utter shock.
“No, don’t go, I’ll freeze to death,” Gojo whines, miraculously waking up. You glare at him.
“Explain to me what just happened or I swear Gojo, I’m going to–” You try to threaten him, but you can’t seem to formulate anything.
Unlike you, Gojo looked unbothered by the sudden turn of events. He even looked pleased. There was a lopsided smile on his face as he sighed, “What can I say, I guess you subconsciously want me after all.” 
"I do not—"
“But if I had to guess, I’d say the room got too cold and we most likely cuddled for warmth unconsciously.” He shrugs it off like it was no big deal. You note that his hair is tousled from the night before.
You leave the warm bed you and Gojo had made. His theory was probably true, meaning it was neither of your faults. You purse your lips.
“I suppose that makes sense. I apologize for overreacting, I guess I was under the impression that we had done something lewd last night.” With that comment, you make your way to the bathroom to freshen up both your mind and body.
You don’t end up seeing how red Gojo’s face got. It was foreign to feel all the blood rising to his cheeks. He takes one of his hands to slap it over his eyes before chuckling to himself. Yeah, he definitely knows why he likes you. 
All of a sudden Gojo feels like he’s on top of the world. For you, it was just a moment of weakness.
┊⋆。˚. ੈ ┊
Extra notes:
gojo wished he and you got to go to the onsen together. 
gojo also regretted not taking a photo of you sleeping soundly in his arms. it would’ve been his new wallpaper. 
for the remainder of the trip, gojo was at an all time high, successfully locating and exorcising the curse in less than an hour.
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arachniee · 3 months
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✰ The Arbiter of Justice.
Ex Situationship! Alastor x Female! Overlord Reader , Vox x Female! Overlord Reader, Lucifer x Female! Overlord Reader
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₊˚✩彡 Summary: Famously known as hell's only demon that can break contracts between other sinners, you were very sought after by those who wish to free themselves from the wretched hands of their soul owners, much to the dismay (annoyance) of the other Overlords.
₊˚✩彡Notes: okay so, i know you're probably wondering why this came out faster than the parts of my other series, lets just say that i absolutely despised the first drafts i had and had to redo and edit some stuff again, but hey, here you go (this is not proofread, you have been warned)
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╰⪼ “Those fuckers are back!”
Vox yelled, flailing his arms out with each syllable that left his petty mouth. Great. First, he found out that the radio demon was back from whatever hole in hell he's been hiding in for the last 7 years, and second, that bitch in the shadows made her appearance again after a whole decade! God, isn't his life just fucking great.
Valentino wanted to snicker, mock him because of his childishness. But he couldn't, for he too was not pleased with someone's return. Sure, he could live without Alastor, and yeah, he could live with the radio demon around. He didn't really care about him, it was only Vox who hated Alastor so much to obviously express it. But the Arbiter? Valentino would even thank any exorcist who manages to kill her. Though, he knew not to expect anything. Since the Vee’s have never really laid a scratch on her skin, no matter what they did. 
“I thought she was gone for good too.”
It's been almost 10 years since she left, leaving the Vee’s to assume (hope) that she'd never return and potentially ruin their status. Ever since her sudden disappearance, they've made it their goal to savour this experience, the feeling of making as many contracts as possible without the restraint from that wretched woman who was dubbed the “Arbiter”.
“Can’t this day get any fucking worse?!” 
Vox was fuming, it was very prominent. Of course he'd be angry, a threat has been posed to his business. With the Arbiter’s return, surely he'll lose most of his employees again! And that is NOT happening. And to add to his already boiling anger, the radio demon is back as well. He could feel the temperature of his screen almost overloading, if he doesn't calm down soon, he might even crack his screen. 
It was only a matter of time ‘til the word reached Velvette, and they were sure that she would also be displeased with the news. All these deals and contracts they made to build themselves up, climb the ranks, all of these may potentially be snatched away by the Arbiter again in a matter of time. They can't afford for that to happen, not now, not again, not ever.
“The upcoming Overlord meeting… Are you going to attend?”
Valentino asked, eyebrows furrowed as he waited for Vox’s answer. His question was hinting a very obvious thought, with the return of the radio demon and the arbiter, surely almost every Overlord will be present. No, the Arbiter has never really attended the meeting personally, but they always send a shadow in their place. That's the most interaction a person has with her, aside from those who manage to successfully summon her and make a contract with her for her services. So attending the Overlord meeting and speaking with the shadow would be their only way of communicating with her. That is the only way they'll be able to receive some sort of response. 
Even with how problematic the Arbiter is for them, little to none is known about her. Every person whom she freed from a contract will always do and say the same thing. Their finger pressing to their lips, a eerily soft smile, and a gentle voice that would speak the words;
“Sh, her shadow might hear you!”
Well, that didn't fill up with any context. It was the same actions and answer, no matter how many times a demon would ask them. Did the Arbiter do something to them? Did they say something? Regardless, it was really frustrating. Especially to those who wanted to gather information about her to bring her down. Ehem, the Vee’s, and maybe a few other Overlords.
───〃★
Ever since your disappearance, Alastor and his dear friends were quite bummed (more so than he'd like to admit). And maybe because of the fact that he may favor you more than the others, who knows? But the pain you unknowingly left in his heart was a feeling he could never forget. A feeling he can’t seem to get himself past. Petty, call it as you will. But the memory you engraved in his mind kept him up all night, every night. You consumed him and his thoughts, especially in his sleep.
Which is why he wanted nothing more than to never sleep again.
Despite him not wanting to acknowledge it, he liked you far more than the rest. And he hated himself for it. No matter how hard he tried to avoid any indication of your presence, you still bled into every crevice and corner of this shitty hell hole. Every corner that touched the light and casted shadows, all of it haunted him.
Everything was so similar to you.
So he left. For the longest time, he tried his very best to forget you, spending his time doing who knows what. It has already been 7 years, before he knew it. He knew it was conflicting, but a part of his wretched soul wondered. 
Would you be there on his return?
Most likely not. He hoped that you wouldn’t. But he also hoped to see you, even just once. A single glance at you would’ve made him crumble. The wall that he built to keep romance away, it’ll all come crashing down, without a doubt. 
“Alastor? What’s botherin’ you, dear?” 
A feminine voice cut through the thick tension in the room, a gentle hand resting on his shoulder. Ah, he almost forgot he was in his dear friend’s Emporium. Well, it wasn’t entirely his fault his thoughts wandered off, especially after seeing a picture with a familiar face on it. 
“Oh, worry not, Dear Rosie! Nothing a little work can’t handle!’
He assured her, that wide, signature smile of his visibly staring back at the woman. She mirrored it, though she seemed a little less hostile, even with her razor sharp teeth. She had been worried since Alastor left, of course, but what worried her more was how she’d often find him in a daze, seemingly unaware of everything around. Now, in hell, being unaware of your surroundings is the last thing you want. It’s not like she was doubting his strength and power, oh no. But she really can’t help it. She’s often the one taking care of everyone, so naturally, she wants to be there for him out of instinct. 
“Well, it certainly doesn’t look like it, Cerf.”
A husky voice piped in, peeking from behind the couch that Rosie and the radio demon sat on. Another figure, who seemingly appeared to be a more masculine version of the Cannibal District’s leader. Same pitch black eyes, pale skin and mop of greyish pink stands. Adorned with a rather lavish suit and a light colored fedora that contrasted Rosie’s more pinkish hat. 
“As sharp as always, I see you are!”
“Oh come on, pumpkin! We gotta give Alastor his own personal space, okay? If he doesn’t wanna talk about it then we won’t force him.” 
Rosie interrupted, glancing behind her to finally eye the person that the voice belonged to. The previous smile on her face seemed to grow, of course, why wouldn’t it? Looking at her younger brother has always been pleasing to her, especially since they look too much alike.
“I am well aware, my Rosa. Must you always treat me as an unknowing child?” 
Her younger brother sighed, momentarily closing his eyes and shaking his head left and right, his greyish pink locks swaying with each movement. 
“But my dear, it seems that you are!” 
The radio demon replied to his question. This was one of the ways Alastor tried, in hopes of forgetting you. Spending time with his dearest friends was something he cherished, especially with how much he saw that they genuinely cared for him. But it was a bittersweet feeling. 
How differently would things be if you were still here?
“Word has it that she has finally returned.” 
The same figure from behind the two seated Overlords exclaimed, tone now an octave lower and stirring with an unknowing emotion. Was he trying to be cautious? Or was he trying to not be insensitive towards Alastor’s feelings? Well, whatever the reason, this topic was bound to surface in their conversations anytime soon, so might as well talk about it now.
“My Riose, that is not something you must bring up so suddenly!” 
The said young man let out a huff of air, out of amusement or interest, not quite sure. Gosh, he certainly is still like a child in the two Overlords’ eyes. With a shrug, Riose decided to change the topic. Man, he was expecting to hear more stories about the Arbiter, but that can wait another time perhaps. Once the radio demon has fully moved on, he supposed. 
Alastor knew you were back, he has connections after all. But he hated how he hoped so much that you’d meet again, after all these years. But that was closer to impossible, to be honest. He’s accepted that fact, not fully, but he’s trying. Trying to move on, trying to forget you.
Though Riose had a feeling that he’d share this stuff with you and tell you about the shit the radio demon has been ranting to him and his sister, and unfortunately, you don’t know if you want to let Alastor go yet.
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cialovesklopp · 5 months
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une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe
summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy
pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)
warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding
word count — 10.1k
author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy <3
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it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.
she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.
it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.
kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.
her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.
she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.
amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.
there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.
she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.
time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.
if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.
“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay
there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.
“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.
“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”
she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.
“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do
he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”
“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.
“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.
she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”
“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be
— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.
she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.
maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.
kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.
the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.
hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.
she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.
as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.
and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.
they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.
a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.
“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”
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they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.
amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.
she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.
and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.
even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.
they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.
pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.
especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.
but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.
along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.
their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.
though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.
“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.
“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.
fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “félicitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy
one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.
“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.
she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”
“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.
“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.
amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”
𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌
amara.imani and k.mbappe
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liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others
amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming
view all 293.753 comments
liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts
graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore
amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY
amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?
username project mbappe is officially starting
username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me
psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙
equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france
username news of the year
antogriezmann félicitation mon frère
sza i can’t waittttt
kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte
paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru
cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel
username please say sike
username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife
username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts
kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹
charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad
landonorris best news of the week
graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties
liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too
username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour
username fr, i’m too excited for this
achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew
amara.imani how did you know?
achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine
username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹
tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur
k.mbappe 🫶🏾
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the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.
even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.
as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.
and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.
seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.
and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.
nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.
“you’re supposed to put it like this.”
“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”
the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.
the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.
he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.
that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.
“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.
she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”
he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”
“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.
“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”
“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.
that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.
“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.
“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”
“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”
her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.
she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.
she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.
“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”
needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.
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a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.
as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.
her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.
she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.
it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.
“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian
there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.
he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.
staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.
they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.
kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.
there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.
from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.
“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here
he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.
“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible
he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.
she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.
labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.
the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.
“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”
“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.
“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”
her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.
“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.
“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.
“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule à pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.
amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.
she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.
her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.
every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.
after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.
“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.
“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”
“are you talking about anaïs?”
kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”
and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”
she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.
“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa
she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.
he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.
their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.
𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌
amara.imani and k.mbappe
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k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé
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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.
it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.
she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.
“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you
just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.
the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.
but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.
“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.
“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”
“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”
he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest
she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.
there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.
“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up
— did you see mummy?
“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together
she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.
“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it
“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth
“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.
amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.
“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”
he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”
his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.
amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.
taglist: @lorarri @aechii
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rwrbficrecs · 2 months
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We’ll Invite Something In by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@dot524: This is a fandom favorite and for good reason. In this canon divergence AU, Alex is President, Henry is out, and they never got together in their 20s. Instead, they encounter each other in their late 30s and a very different type of relationship ensues. They still hide it at first, but there’s a lot of living that they both have done and need to work through. I really enjoyed the character dynamics here and how the premise changed both Alex and Henry, making them bolder and more mature. Definitely read this one!
Eyes Blue, Like the Atlantic by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)
@dot524: A Titanic AU! Adapted by an excellent writer, this one has suspense, action, romance, and intrigue. There is a MCD (Main Character Death) in here and some other tags to be aware of, but also vibrant scenes with dancing, chasing, art, and formal wear. I really enjoyed it!
Clean Slate by @smc-27 (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was just so excellent. I devoured it in no time, couldn't put it down. I love the way Alex just slips into Henry's life like a silk glove even though Henry has his hesitations. There's abslutely no angst at all other than "you're too young for me" "no, next question" I love it. I love Henry finally feeling young for the first time. I think that is something that Henry generally feels after meeting Alex, like he's never been able to, no matter at what point in life he is. ANYWAY I'm talking about Henry way too much again for a rec. Read this.
Most People Exist by @sprigsofviolets (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Henry, 30, is a nurse on a cancer ward. From the very first moment he feels an intense connection and attraction to his newest patient, the one who has a brain tumor and is named Alexander Claremont-Diaz. - The tags say it all: "Falling in love, Slow Burn, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort". After reading this story I am a whole new person. I laughed and cried, had butterflies in my stomach, I felt it all. Hands down one of the best fics I've ever read!
after hours by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@na-dineee: How much can happen in a few hours? stutteringpeach: Hold my beer. 😅🤝 Reading this was truly a roller coaster ride, my stomach was doing somersaults non-stop: On his last evening in New York, poet Henry meets bartender Alex and the two spend the night together - in true "Before Sunrise" style. To sum it all up: enchanting, sweet, phenomenal, iconic!
No. 1 (Royal Red and Blue) Oil on Canvas by @captainjunglegym (book-verse)
@zwiazdziarka: This fic is so twisted and surprising in the best way! The summary did not prepare me for all the action that comes after the initial relationship drama and I'd really like to fawn over it some more but I don't want to spoil the fun of figuring out what really is going on and what are characters' motivations. Just give it a try.
Meet the Parents (series) by @14carrotghoul (book-verse)
@dot524: I really enjoyed these thoughtful character studies of Ellen and Oscar. The two short stories are a series of canon vignettes from Oscar and Ellen’s POV. These glimpses of the Claremont-Diaz parents add heart and depth to the RWRB canon, giving insight about how Ellen and Oscar think about parenthood, power, family, and each other.
Leave The World Better Than You Found It: A BONES AU by @treluna4 (book/movie-verse)
@myheartalivewrites: I really enjoyed this FirstPrince meets procedural TV show fic! With Alex as Booth and Henry as Brennan, they learn to work together, solve crimes--and fall in love, of course. Plus take down a very satisfying book villain.
No Laughing Matter by @inexplicablymine (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This fic is absolutely hysterical- a must read if you need something to cheer you up! It's also very relatable for anyone who, like me, has said things they've regretted in all the best ways!
in summer air by @acdsbff (book-verse)
@na-dineee: I need a vacation and vitamin D - maybe that's why this series (both POVs are covered 🥰) captivated me so much?! It is set on a Greek island, where Alex, just cheated on by his boyfriend, meets hotel owner Henry. What follows is a whirlwind speedrun romance against a beautiful backdrop. Really therapeutic for the heart on dreary days!!
here is a map (with your name as a capital) by @alasse9 (book-verse)
@dot524: What an incredible surprise to have this entire 50k story drop at once. In this canon divergent story, Alex and Henry start getting to know each other in Rio, when Alex helps him recover from a panic attack. Their friendship, and later their relationship, is a delightful slow burn with funny moments, heartbreak, and steady support of each other. I thoroughly enjoyed this start to finish — the characterization of both Alex and Henry is on point and I really enjoyed how the writer changed some of the scenes from the book while keeping key callbacks. A delight.
Claremont 2008 by @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This friends to lovers AU is done so well! Having Henry and Alex meet as kids means we get years of their friendship before they even start dating, and it gives every aspect of their relationship so much depth through this entire fic. It also gives some events only referenced in the novel a completely different perspective, which makes them even better!
keep me in the moment (don't it feel so real?) by @anincompletelist (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: I absolutely love everything that comes out of Sarah's magic little fingers and this was no exception. Alex and Henry are best friends and pinning over eache other unknowingly and an accidental lil discovery turns their relationship upside-down (for the better) absolutely recommended. I honestly loved it so much.
you know i can't be found with you by @dumbpeachjuice (book-verse)
@heysweetheart-writes: This was SO much fun. Alex was RELENTLESS and I absolutely love an older Henry. It was also very fucking funny. 10/10
the great duck fiasco by @alexclaremont-diaz (book-verse)
@suseagull04: A spy AU, dating apps, and Alex's Texas roots combine in the funniest way possible- definitely read this if you want a good laugh!
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arklayraven · 4 months
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I can't sleep rn while this annoyed/pissed off. So time to remind people OM is canonly a queer game as hell and to tell the queerphobes and transphobes to FUCK OFF. (Seriously, why are you following me if you hate queer and trans people/characters? Get out of here.)
This is a official post by OM devs over the creation of OM and their MC. Read the left section well.
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"OM isn't a queer game" many like to say.
The game, writers and characters beg to differ.
From someone kind who felt they knew all about the game and characters well, even tho they played it themselves.
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Let's go back to that official post by Solmare about OM and this section specifically.
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Hope you read that well, and the person(and many who think/believe this) learns how damn wrong they are.
Also...God don't bring up my Asmo and act like you know all about him. Another thing from that kind person.
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Firstly, canonly none of the characters have set labels. But they are all in fact canonly queer. Whether you like to believe/accept this or not. It's fact, was fact from day one.
Asmodeus is the most openly proud queer boy in the series, and gender nonconforming too at that, even if he uses only he/him pronouns(but he's been shown to be fine being called princess, queen, etc. So he's clearly open to all gendered/less pronouns/labels I feel).
He drips of gender fluidity, and going against gender presentation norms(Babe has presented so fem and nonconforming for awhile now. Learn to look at him and appreciate him better). So take note of all of that, and never say again he's not queer, because that's a damn fucking lie.
Also I hate how bi is used as default for queerness as a whole for characters who are interested in more than one gender, and wish for the day people stop using it as so. (Use MSPEC or just queer if you wish to sound more inclusive of all possible labels/identities for a canon queer character with no canon label set.)
Second, back to what I said before, ALL THE CHARACTERS IN OM ARE QUEER. If you ship your MC or yourself with them, know that's a canon queer character you're pairing them/yourself up with. And you can't erase their queerness and identity. Especially if it makes you personally feel bothered or crap.
And before you say anything, dating them, as a straight woman, doesn't automatically make them straight now too. They are still queer, but are dating you, who happen to be a straight woman. (stop being damn queerphobic challenge.)
I'm already tired of this crap, so gonna end this now and fast.
OM is a canon queer game, and was made with a MC who is genderless to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS. This opened the door quickly for men, nonbinary, etc players to enjoy the game too, and be part of the fandom as well. There's as much men and nonbinary players in the series like women are, but only difference is in the fandom mainly. Many people choose to see which fans or MCs are more accepted in the community, and which ones to show more love/attention too.
If you tried to expand your horizons more, you will surely quickly find people who identify as men, nonbinary, etc in the fandom as well. And learn how we're here, always been here, just greatly drowned out or ignored by a vast majority of people just because of who we are. (Lots of people with dislike for MCs who are men, or just plain damn queerphobia and transphobia in the works.)
The more people try to ignore the clear fact men and nonbinary people play OM too. The more easier it is for them say OM and its characters aren't canonly queer, and they can feel special/happy about playing the game. That they want to believe was just made to cater to women only. But in reality it was made to be catered to all players, no matter their gender identity or lack of, and same for romantic/sexual attraction.
Also another thing I forgot to add to put more facts that OM is a queer game to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS.
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Already, the undateables from day one are canonly queer too. If you need to be reminded and stated that as well.
That's pretty much it on this annoying tiring topic.
Enjoy playing OM, the canonly queer game made for ALL PLAYERS. <3
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savannahsdeath · 8 months
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SOCCER!ELLIE X CHEERLEADER!READER
PART 5FIVE aka; the epilogue
part 4four
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warnings: minors safe !!🩷
writers note: finally the end ugh.. im not gonna lie, i hate how the whole 'series' (its too short to be called a series, but wtv) turned out, so im glad to finish it. though, im looking forward to make another fic with actual plot and not just smut, tho an abby one (i already have the epilogue written and im so so excited🤭)
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you felt stupid. stupid, but mostly hurt. you couldn't understand why a small part of you wanted to believe that vi did nothing wrong. that small part of you wanted to end all of this, get on good terms with vi and be with ellie.
although, you weren't hurt by cheating itself. after all, you thought that's what happened for the past months, so you were already mentally prepared for that.
whatever.
⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
you and ellie went through all the usual motions of a happy couple together, though not as an official couple yet. you spent time with each other and your friends, and you slowly forgot about the past and all the drama you had experienced.
you didn't forget about vi, though. you still felt guilty about the way you let her manipulate you like that. you could still hear her voice in your mind, telling you love isn't something you both have and, probably, never had.
you decided she shouldn't be a part of your life anymore, and you did your best to avoid her. she didn't know that you know, though it was obvious, since the rumours continued. you just didn't care anymore. not about her, at least.
ellie didn't speak much about the past, and you didn't either, because you felt like you didn't need to. the past was the past, and now you were looking forward to your future together.
you started thinking less and less about vi, soon managing to get her out of your mind for the whole day. not much, but after what happened, it was a big success. she was no longer a part of your life. ellie was, and that's all that mattered to you now.
you spent more and more time with her. you got to know her team better, returning the favor by taking her to your friend group's meeting.
you told luccy, your best friend, about the whole situation. it took you a good few hours to explain everything.
luccy listened to your entire story, impressed by the twists and turns it took. you could tell she was almost as surprised as you, her eyes widening with each sentence.
"well, no wonder you were so confused," she said politely, "but at least you have ellie now, and you seem happy together." she paused for a moment, before asking; "do you miss vi at all?"
you sighed and closed your eyes, imagining every good moment with her and comparing it to the happiness ellie brought you.
it was almost impossible to answer your friend's question.
on one hand, you had had great moments with vi, and you could even admit that you loved her.
and then there's ellie - which made you remember that your ex wasn't there for you when you needed it.
"no, i don't think so." you replied, ashamedly looking down. "ellie makes me feel like i never even truly loved vi."
────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
i want to add some 'last words' about this fic, especially this part. a lot of you guys will probably be mad at me for not taking any revenge. but you, as the reader, have to understand that its not that easy. after being so hurt, after hearing so many lies, all you wanted was a normal relationship. a stable, honest and calm one. the one you got with ellie. you knew getting revenge would only complicate things - you probably wont be able to forget her at all once youd put salt on the wounds all over again. just the fact that she has to see you happy with ellie, while shes left alone, is enough. thanks to everyone who supported the series<3
TAGS: @wandasromanova @bellaramslover @aouiaa @glennns-blog @elliewilliamsfuckbuddy @iheartsadiesink @ximtiredx @coff1nn @jowdann @simpforellie @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @skylerwhitwyo @pinkigirl @islalips @ratdungeon @okayyesbutno @dinoastronaut @ucannotcompare @elyonz @lesbiantothemoonandback @lovejuliettq @param8re @r3wbeef and some more i cant tag for unknown reasons:(
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gotouhitori · 2 months
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Okay, so. I'm in Love with the Villainess. Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou. WataOshi. Whichever title you want to refer to it by.
Before reading or watching it, I wondered why the hell people were holding up this random villainess isekai light novel with an over-the-top masochist main character as a landmark yuri title. Okay sure I don't doubt there's yuri going on, but how can it be so special?
Then I watched the anime. "Huh. The series and its main character are clearly and unambiguously lesbian in a way that so many other series can't bring themselves to be. And it has the most frank discussion of queer issues I think I've ever seen in anime or related media. Yeah, I think I see now, it is a cut above." And both because I've heard the novels get into a few things a little more and because the series now has its hooks in me enough for me to want to read the novels anyway, I read the first novel. And yeah, that does add a bit.
And then I read the second novel. The latter bit of the anime does cover the first bit of the second novel, but it's mostly new territory for an anime-only or anime-first such as myself. And holy fucking shit. Spoilers under the cut.
For one thing, the anime/first novel dropped some trans hints about Yu, and that turns out to be a whole transfem allegory - which isn't unheard of by any means, but it's not especially common in a work where that isn't the main focus. And not only that, but there's an actually explicitly textual transmasc in Rae's past life, who forms part of Rae's motivation to make considerable effort and take considerable risk (up to and including treason) to make sure Yu can live as a girl - once Yu states that is what she wants, it is important to note. Random yuri villainess isekai light novel says trans rights, and will absolutely stand by it.
And then all of the stuff about class and inequality comes to a head, and remember how the game that Rae's in the world of is titled "Revolution"? Yeah. One of those happens. Various hints have been dropped about what happens, largely centred on Rae making efforts to save Claire's neck in the most literal way possible when things really go down. But holy shit does that turn out to be more effort and a much more complex endeavour than it appears at first... or for most of the time while it's going on, for that matter. Ultimately she arranges things so that while the revolution still happens (it is basically inevitable), overall loss of life and suffering is minimised, and the general situation is as good as it possibly could be. By the time the proverbial smoke clears, Rae and Claire are openly living as a couple, which is a lot more than you usually see - one of the things Rae comments on is how in per previous life, too much of the yuri she read ended with at least one of the girls either dead or winding up with a man, which annoyed her enough to write fanfic based on series she likes with unsatisfying endings to fix that. And though the game did have a yuri spinoff, the original - the events of which she was living through and manipulating - was het. The character she winds up with was never supposed to be a romanceable character to begin with.
And that's just the first two of the five novels. Living through and changing the course of an actual revolution and settling down with her partner is just 40% of the whole story. (And less if more novels get published.) I've just started the third novel, and it's certainly looking like the rest is going to be at least as much of a ride as the first two were.
This really is an outstanding series. It's Dungeon Meshi levels of "I cannot stop thinking about it" to me, which if you've seen how much I post about that, says a lot. And I haven't read even half of it yet.
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greenconverses · 4 months
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Richard saying, "we're going to end up in the same place, it doesn't matter how we get there" pissed me off so much ISN'T "HOW WE GET THERE" THE ENTIRE POINT OF STORIES?! ISN'T THAT WHY THE ENTIRE DAMN BOOK EXISTS?!
So, shocker, I have Thoughts about this post of his. My knee jerk reaction when I saw it last night was an eye roll and an urge to rant, which I kept contained because I'd already ranted and we gotta space that stuff out from time-to-time.
And now that I have had a full night's sleep and I am slightly less cranky, I'm gonna have to go on record and... DEFEND part of his logic, gasp.
For those not in the know, RR wrotes this reply to question on Threads (lol) a few days ago about changes to the plot in the sixth episode that apparently bugged a lot of people:
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And like, I'm deeply annoyed about the "it won't change anything" bit because OH MY GOD STORYTELLING which is a whole other thing but I do have something to say about the man's logic and the difference in the show premise vs the books that I think is flying over a lot of people's heads.
The plot of the show is Percy saving Sally and doing a quest along the way. Sally and Percy's relationship is the A plot, the mythology and conflict among the gods is the B plot. Percy knows from 1x02 that his mom is alive and that changes his priorities immediately; we see him start to care about the overall quest and his place in the world in 1x05, but he's still pushing forward because of his mom. You have to add another pearl to pay off that A storyline, to promise audience members that Percy is going to succeed until he doesn't.
Percy in the books has a feeling his mom is alive or that he can get her back from the Underworld, but doesn't know for sure. The quest and the setting up the overall Big Three backstory is the main plot of the books and what we the readers are focused on. I wouldn't even put saving Sally as a B or C plot in the original TLT. Percy doesn't get confirmation that she's alive until they're down in the Underworld and Hades reveals he took her for leverage, so then only having three pearls becomes a brief but important conflict.
This is where we're seeing a lot of the issues with the show's plot come to a head. It's fine to change the priority of the story from returning the bolt to saving Sally, because it delivers the same result in the end anyway, like Rick says. But you have to bulk up other parts of the script in a way to make up for it and the show has not delivered on that part. (See exhibit A: my rant about any lack of mystery with the monsters.)
I think the most egregious change that he says doesn't matter is the trio missing the deadline. In the books, we're told that natural disasters and weird things have been happening since the bolt disappeared as Zeus and Poseidon fought, and stuff was getting worse the closer the deadline came. We are briefly shown this in 1x05 with Ares and in 1x06 with Luke saying things are "bad" at camp, but imo, it doesn't feel super heavy. The consequences of missing the deadline is that gods go to war and bad shit happens! Lots of mortals are gonna die! Doesn't that matter?
The show could've stepped outside of the Percy and Sally storyline for little bit to give more of a perspective about what was happening at camp or the outside world to bring that weight - you're not limited to just Percy's POV storyline in the medium of a TV show! (Of course, we can step outside of it to give a LMM cameo/stinger because priorities but I digress.)
They didn't and I'm not sure how they're going to "solve" Zeus's response to Percy missing the deadline 'cause like... this is the unreasonable king of the gods that Rick has started yet another series based on the premise of him being a petty bitch who wants to ruin Percy's life. Is the guy gonna walk back starting a war? Is he waiting to start because Poseidon asked nicely? What's the consequence to the world going to be? Clearly nothing, since Rick said the story is going to end how it was always going to end, which is just poor storytelling.
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flower-boi16 · 2 months
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How Ozzie's Doesn't Matter in Season 2
When Ozzie's came out, it initially seemed like a big turning point for the series; we were all very excited to see how these events would playout in Season 2. Unfortunately, Season 2 completely disappoints when it comes to Ozzie's (just like pretty much EVERYTHING), as, what was once a big turning point for the show feels like it doesn't matter, having little consequences in the season. Let's get into why.
1. Stolas and Blitz's relationship
Ozzie's ended with Blitz cutting Stolas out and telling him he was very upset that their relationship was just about Stolas fucking him and nothing else. Now, you'd think that things would be more awkward after that, that there would be some tension between the two after it....except no.
The next time they see each other in Seeing Stars, they act as if Ozzie's never happened and interact like everything's normal. This set off a lot of fans obviously, as this was very jarring for them to go back to normal after such a major event for them. Then Western Energy came around and made things worse by resolving off-screen with a blink and you'll miss it text message.
So Blitz and Stolas' dynamic does not change at all in Season 2 despite how the last season ended their relationship, there's no tension between them at all and they just pretend like nothing happened, and, to add insult to injury, they made it get resolved with a text message.
Then Oops came along and suddenly things were different? Like, the conflict with Stolas getting the crystal seems to be continuing the feud him and Blitz had when Ozzie's ended...but, when the consequences of the episode have been completely ignored up until this point, having it suddenly matter NOW six episodes in feels like too-little-too-late.
You can't have the consequences of an episode not matter for five episodes and then have it suddenly matter now, it's better to have those consequences matter the whole way through rather than whenever the show FEELS like it wants them to matter.
But I'm done talking about that, let's get into...
2. Stolas becoming a better person
With Blitz telling Stolas that he doesn't want to fuck him anymore, you'd think this could set up an arc for Stolas where he ends up realizing his mistakes and decides to become a better person...
...except no. Season 2 chucks away any real potential for Stolas as a character and, instead of making him realize his mistakes and decide to grow from them, Season 2 decides to woobify Stolas and coddle him for his mistakes, and demonizes any character who dares get mad at what he's done to them.
Stolas could have been easily the best character in the whole show; somebody who realizes his mistakes and decides to make amends and grow from them, but season 2 completely destroyed that in favor of making Stolas an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong (despite doing a LOT OF SHIT WRONG but ok). It threw away any potential for an interesting arc for Stolas because it's too busy coddling and woobifying him to do that. Now let's get into...
3. Stolas being found out
In Ozzie's, Asmodeus exposed Stolas for sleeping with an Imp, making it seem like a big deal that would have consequences in season 2...but it doesn't. I already talked about this in my post about Hellaverese' world-building issues but Stolas has not received any real consequences so far for sleeping with Blitz, so what's even the point of making it out to be such a big deal if Stolas was NEVER going to face consequences for it at all?
Stolas being found out doesn't matter despite the show making it out to be a big deal because Stolas has received NO punishment or consequences for this at all despite Ozzie's trying to imply otherwise.
4. Conclusion
So ya, that's how Ozzie's in Season 2 doesn't matter. For an episode that was supposed to be this big turning point for a lot of things in the show, Season 2 completely ignores all the consequences of the episode, making it feel completely and utterly meaningless.
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hoedamn-eron · 4 months
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baby, please - part 21
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It's time.
Warnings: Long, (looooong) chapter. Labour (all labour is different for each person!). Hospitals, doctors. Medical jargon again, I researched as much as I could and from what I remember from my own birth experience, but may be inaccurate (I am from the UK, so it will probably be different than the US). A little angsty, but it's fine. Reader calls her friends 'guys' but it's used in a group setting. Not proofread at all, because it was huge, so there will be mistakes. Some swearing. Word count: 5,414 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.
Part 20 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 22
Apologies again that this is 1 whole day late!
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You’d been…busy.
You had needed to keep your mind off of Santiago, because if not, you would just sit and cry all day (which made you feel extra pathetic, and you were not pathetic). So you had dived headfirst into finishing decorating, and unpacking, your house, and getting it ready for your babies.
And even though you had taken some paid PTO to get a head start on your maternity leave, you’d found yourself checking your emails (again, just for something to do). You’d somehow managed to get involved in some feedback for the most recent marketing launch, signing off on some final designs and helping out the team with some final bits and pieces.
Your friends (and one surprising day, Emily) have turned up at your house under the guise of helping you out with the house and shower you and your babies with more gifts.
But you know they were there to check on you and make sure you hadn’t had a breakdown.
So yes…you’d been busy. And you should probably start taking it easy, since you’ve started cramping for a few days. Although now they’re starting to hurt.
Jennifer and Dr Montgomery had both said that you were carrying two babies that were very quickly going to run out of room, and with your placenta issue, you were bound to feel aches and pains, so it wasn’t abnormal. Uncomfortable, yes, but not unusual. You just needed to relax, and you will. Eventually, but today wasn’t the day, because your new mirror had just been delivered and you’d roped your friends into helping you lug it up your stairs.
“Why did you get one so big?” Beth asked, huffing as she and Courtney took a break just outside the nursery.
“It was cute,” you say. “And the frame is nice. It adds to the blank wall in my bedroom.”
“It’s not a hanging mirror, is it?” Courtney asked, just as out of breath as Beth.
You shake your head. “No, it’s a standing mirror, it leans.”
“Oh good, I was debating having to call Andy.”
“Do you guys want takeout?” Gabrielle asked, suddenly appearing behind you all. She was looking at her phone, typing away. “I’ve managed to convince Matthew to watch the kids a little longer.”
“Sure,” you reply.
“Let’s just get this mirror in here first,” said Beth, before counting down again for her and Courtney to heave the mirror into your bedroom.
After a few more choice words thrown at each other, and the mirror finally in place in your bedroom (not smashed to smithereens, no matter how many times Beth threatened to demolish it), you all decide on Chinese for takeout. Once the food arrives, you settle at your dining table, dividing the food between the four of you.
You wince again as another twinge in your abdomen causes another wave of pain flows through you. You take a few deep breathes until it passes, and you turn back to your food. Your friends haven’t noticed, their conversation flowing as if nothing had happened.
Until Courtney asked how you were doing.
You shrug, digging around your food. “So-so.”
“Have you heard nothing from him? At all?” Beth asks.
You shake your head, not looking up from pushing your food around with your fork. “Nope. I don’t really think I want to, either.”
There’s a moment of heavy silence before Gabrielle bites her lip, then clears her throat lightly. “I uh…I heard from Ben that he’s leaving for South America in a few days.”
You look up at her, not sure how to feel, or what to say. You settle on an, “Oh.”
“Ben didn’t say where, he was messaging to check up on you, mostly,” Gabrielle says.
You shake your head, suddenly not feeling so hungry. You place your food on the table. “He can do what he wants, he made it perfectly clear what he wanted out of this.”
“I’m sorry this has happened to you,” said Beth, reaching over to give your hand a squeeze.
You give her a sad smile. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” replied Courtney firmly. “It was a shitty thing for him to do to you.”
You give her a small grin. “I mean, yeah, it was a shitty thing, but he’s entitled to his own opinion. I’m not going to force him to do something he doesn’t want to.”
Your friends go quiet at they merely stare at you, mixture of sadness and anger on their faces. You feel a warmth flow through you at your friends. You appreciated them so much, how protective they were of you, how you know that you wouldn’t be truly alone in this, that they were your chosen family, and they were your chosen family for a reason.
“I’ll be fine,” you say, giving Beth’s hand a squeeze back before pulling away. “Really. I’ll be the best mom these babies deserve.”
“And they’ll have the best aunties,” said Gabrielle, giving you a smile.
“She’s right,” said Courtney, pointing at Gabrielle then at yourself, giving you a look.
“We know what you’re like, and we don’t want you to think that you’re bothering us if you ask for help,” said Beth. “Or call us if you just need to have a talk. Or a meltdown. Or anything.”
“And one of us will take you to the hospital next week,” said Courtney firmly. “Don’t you worry about it.”
“And we’ll be there with you when your babies come into the world,” said Gabrielle.
Beth nodded in agreement. You sucked in your lips as you felt the tears flood your eyes, and you nod, looking down. You hear the shuffle of chairs and then you’re suddenly surrounded by a warm hug from your friends, and you grip onto them tightly, the warm feeling of love and companionship continuing to flow through you.
You give a small laugh before pushing them away. “Come on, you guys. You know everything is making me cry nowadays, don’t become another reason.”
They adhere to you eventually, and you continue to eat your takeout together. They offer to help clean up, but you usher them out the door, since it was getting late, and they had to leave you alone at some point. With a few good-natured grumbles, your friends eventually leave, with promises to check up on you again tomorrow. You roll your eyes but wave at them from your front door as they drive away.
You go into your house and close the door behind you, sighing as you lean against it. You stroke your bump, smiling at the swift kick you receive to the palm of your hand. It’s as if they knew exactly where you were. You make your way to your kitchen-dining room, and clear up the takeout containers, putting the leftovers in the fridge. You wash the plates, and when you put the last plate in your draining board, you let out a sharp gasp as another cramp hits you.
You lean against the counter, taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself.
“Okay,” you say after the pain subsides. You rub at your bump, feeling how tense it was. “I hear you. I’ll take it easy. I’ll go to bed.”
You check again that your windows and doors are locked before you turn your lights off and make your way upstairs. You walk into your bedroom and into your en suite bathroom, before washing your face and brushing your teeth. You change into your comfiest pyjamas and settle into your bed, sighing in bliss at the feeling of the fresh sheets you’d placed on that afternoon. You stroke at your bump again, wishing your twins a goodnight, before you turn off the bedside light.
You’re exhausted, and the last week was catching up with you. It doesn’t take you long to fall asleep.
However, you wake up suddenly, groaning in pain, not feeling at all rested. You immediately curl in on yourself, your hands wrapping around your bump as the pain spreads through to your back. You try and breathe through it, but you find yourself gritting your teeth and cursing loudly. You shake your head, tears filling your eyes and threatening to spill over.
You couldn’t ignore the pains now, you needed to go to the hospital. You wait a few moments, the pain calming again as you slowly sit up, trying to gather your thoughts. You take a look at your phone, seeing that it was nearly 4am. You stand, a little wobbly on your feet, and turn on your lamp. You make your way to your bathroom again, throwing some cold water onto your face.
You look at yourself in the mirror as you pat your face dry with a hand towel. You look a little flushed. And...your bump has dropped. It's definitely dropped.
Holy shit. Maybe they weren’t just cramps from overdoing it.
You practically run to your phone as you call the hospital, then asking to be put through to labour and delivery.
“Hi, yes,” you say as a man picks up, and you quickly introduce yourself. “I’m...I’ve been booked in for a C-section next week but...but I think I've started labour.”
You let him know how Dr Montgomery had diagnosed you with placenta previa, and how for the past few days you’d been feeling tightenings, and that the cramps had gotten worse. You were advised to come in as soon as possible. You swallow back the urge to burst into tears as you thank the man over the phone before you hang up. You stare at your phone for a moment, your breathing a little strained as you try to process what was happening.
You might be in labour. Your babies might be here in the next day.
You feel sick. What do you do now? Were you even ready for this?
You mentally slap yourself. It’s a bit too late for that. You have to be ready!
You take a few steadying breaths, before making a note of the time you woke up as you make your way back into the bathroom. You make yourself look somewhat presentable and you go to change into some comfortable, all the while keeping an eye on the time in case another contraction (because they must be contractions) comes along.
You’d already packed your hospital bags in preparation for next week and you thank whatever Gods are looking down on you for having them ready for now.
You call a cab and wait patiently (or impatiently) for it to arrive. You can’t call your friends now, it’s far too early in the morning, and you’ve been relying on them for a while, no matter how many times they tell you that they’re happy to help. You'll update them once you’re in the hospital and settled in.
You go over your things one final time, making sure you haven’t forgotten anything as your Uber turns up. After explaining to your driver, he helps you with your hospital bags as you climb into the car, another contraction (because really, that’s what they are, you have to accept it now) overcomes you. You check the time on your phone as you breathe through it.
Fifteen minutes had passed since your last contraction.
That was a very short amount of time.
You time it as your driver pulls away, making the journey to the hospital. It wasn’t a long contraction, around thirty seconds, so you make a note of it for when you arrived at the hospital (which, by the speed you were going at, won’t take too long – the driver must be scared you’ll give birth in the back of your car).
You make it to the hospital, where the driver very kindly takes you and your bags to check in, where a nurse quickly prompts you into a wheelchair. You thank your driver again before he leaves, fully intending to give him a great tip.
You rattle off your timings for contractions to the nurse pushing your wheelchair, where she said she would make a note of it on your chart for Dr Montgomery. You thanked her, before she brought you to your room, getting you all set up.
After being examined by more doctors, and meeting the labour team, you were informed that it might be best to settle you in for monitoring and have Dr Montgomery talk you through the next steps. You were settled into your room and strapped up to all sorts of machines when Dr Montgomery came in, a clipboard in her hand. She grins at you from your place in the bed. “Couldn’t wait until next week, huh?”
You give a laugh. “Well, I could, but my kids had other ideas.”
“Well, you’re all checked out, and we think it’s best that we move your C-section forward, so we can see if we can organise one for you today. Since you’re not at 37 weeks, your babies may need to stay in the NICU for a few days, but we’ll monitor them, see how they do.” She looks at your chart before glancing around the room. “Santiago not joining us?”
You tense at her question, before awkwardly clearing your throat. “Uh…no. No, he won’t be.” You give a light shrug. “It didn’t work out…for him.”
“Oh,” said Dr Montgomery, before she gives you a sympathetic smile. “Well, these things happen. You won’t be the first single mother to come here, I can assure you.”
You feel a pain in your chest, and your throat close up as tears flood your eyes. You don’t know what to say, so you nod at her.
After she checks over your monitors, she tells you that she’ll go and get you booked in for your C-section as soon as possible, and gives you some drugs to slow down your contractions, in case she couldn’t get you sorted for another day. She gives you some words of encouragement and recommended you try and get some more sleep before she leaves your room.
There was a fat chance of you getting back to sleep after all of this.
You had packed a book that you had had for well over a year that you had every intention to read. There was no time like the present, since most of your time now would be taken up by two newborns.
And you eventually need to tell your friends that you were, in face, in labour.
You grab your phone, sending a quick message to your group chat. They wouldn’t see it until they woke up anyway, and it’s barely 5:30am.
Hey all. Just to let you all know, I’m in the hospital. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine! My C-section may be moved forward for today because the twins decided that it was time to make an appearance.
C: WHAT C: OMG C: WHAT
Your eyes widen as Courtney’s messages come flooding in.
Why are you awake!?
C: THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT C: ARE YOU OKAY? C: I AM SO EXCITED C: DO YOU NEED ME THERE? C: I don’t care what you say I’m coming anyway.
You laugh at her, telling her that she really didn’t need to, but she was already on the way. You send her your room details, before settling down to read your book, reading Courtney’s updates as she sends them over to you. You’re about half an hour into your book when Courtney shows up, bursting into your room, breathless, with her own overnight bag in her hands.
“How fast did you drive?” you ask her, raising an eyebrow at her.
“I slowed down for speed cameras,” she replied. Immediately making her way over to you and checking you over. “How are you? Are you okay? Are you in any pain?”
“They’ve given me some drugs to slow down my labour,” you reply. “Contractions are less painful now, and a little more spaced, so it’s definitely done the job.”
“Have you…have you contacted…”
You give her a look. “No, I haven’t.”
Courtney nods. “And your parents?”
You snort. “Same story.”
She gives another nod, more firm. “Okay. Just you and me then.”
It was nice, to have Courtney around. She took a few selfies with you and sent them into the group chat, and when Beth and Gabrielle finally saw the messages. You were immediately bombarded with questions of your wellbeing, when your C-section was planned for (that was still to be confirmed, but Dr Montgomery had been checking in with you throughout the day and your labour hadn’t progressed much further), and that they could be with you if you needed it.
But you were fine. Your nerves had settled, you were now even excited to meet your babies. Everything was running smoothly, and Dr Montgomery was due back in the hour to let you know if your C-section was happening tonight. You are a warrior, a fighter, and nothing will break your spirit. Whatever the outcome, you know that you will face it with courage and grace, for you are a woman, fierce and resilient, ready to conquer whatever lies ahead.
Courtney had stepped out to call Andy about half an hour ago, and was going to grab some food from the cafeteria. You had almost finished your book when the door to your room opened.
“Did you get lost coming back?” you joked, not looking up from your book.
With no answer, your brow furrows. You look up with the intention of asking Courtney if everything was okay, but your breathing stopped as you looked into the soulful and intense eyes of Santiago Garcia.
You slowly close your book, letting it fall to the bed. You had to be dreaming. You’ve fallen asleep reading your book, there was no way he was here. Not after your conversation last week, where he told you he didn’t want to be a dad, that he had no intention of being involved, how meeting you was practically a mistake.
“Hi,” he says, almost breathlessly.
You don’t know how to respond. Your mouth suddenly feels dry. You're sitting there, in the sterile scent of the hospital room, looking at the reason you’d been so damn miserable this last week. Your heart pounds like a drum against your ribcage, each beat echoing the anticipation that fills the room. Your hands, all of a sudden clammy and trembling, clutch onto the medical standard bed sheets draped over you.
The minutes stretch into eternity as you stare at him, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. Fear and rapid anger grip you like a vice, squeezing your chest with each passing second.
Finally, you ask, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Santiago holds his hands up in surrender. “I know, I’m an asshole and you probably don’t want me here – “
“Damn right I don’t want you here,” you snap at him, eyes glowering. “I’m in the right mind to call security!”
“I know, I know,” he hurriedly says, taking a step towards the bed. “Just please, please, hear me out for a second.”
“I heard you out last week and you told me – “
“I know what I said last week,” Santiago said quickly, finally lowering his hands. “And…I was an idiot. I am an idiot.”
“How did you even know I was here?” you demanded.
“Benny told me,” Santiago replied.
You don’t ask how Benny knew (because honestly, you had a clue, and you’ll be having some choice words with a certain someone). You merely stare at him before shaking your head at him. “If you’ve come to tell me you’re leaving for South America, I already know, you didn’t – “
“I cancelled it,” he said, giving you an intense stare. “I needed to be here. With you.”
“No, no, you don’t,” you reply, already shaking your head. “I have Courtney, Courtney’s here with me.”
He flinches at your words, the guilt flickering across his features like a shadow. “I couldn't live with the regret of not being there for you, for them,” he says. “Knowing you were going through this...I couldn't stay away. I have to be here.”
You don’t say anything, merely stare at him and let him continue.
“I know I said I didn't want to be involved,” he begins, his voice quiet but filled with sincerity. "But...I made a mistake. I got scared, scared of messing up, of not being enough for them and for you and I thought…I thought leaving would fix it, but it hasn’t.”
“You’ve realised this now?” you ask him, tears in your eyes. “You…you left me alone, and worried about the future with my kids, and we had an amazing few months together…”
Santiago shakes his head at you, tears in his own eyes. “I’m sorry. I know I can't change the past. But I'm here now, and I want to make things right. I want to be here for you, for our kids.”
You study him for a moment, still gripping the hospital sheets tightly. The tears start to fall as the moments stretch into a long silence, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. You try to push away the thoughts of what could go wrong, but they linger, hovering at the edges of your consciousness like unwanted guests.
“Just because you cancel your trip – “ you cut yourself off, before you finally let out a sob, looking at him. “I don't know if I can forgive you.”
His shoulders deflate as he slowly nods at you. “I understand, corazón, I do, but please...let me be here for you now. Let me make things right. I miss you,” he says.
You open your mouth to reply but you’re interrupted by Courtney, making her way in with a brown paper bag.
“The line was huge at the cafeteria, so I went to Walmart down the street…” she goes quiet as her gaze lands on Santiago, before her jaw sets and her eyes harden. “What are you doing here?”
“I just came to apologise – “
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t need it,” Courtney snaps. “She’s fine. She’s been fine without you, and she can raise these kids herself. She doesn’t need you.”
Santiago turns to look back at you, but you can’t find the words to say. You want to believe him, to let go of the hurt and anger that have consumed you for the past week. But the wounds run deep, carved into the very fabric of your being. You meet his gaze, searching for any trace of sincerity amidst the turmoil of emotions that swirls between you.
He takes your silence as a rejection. He gives a sad sigh before nodding. “Okay. I understand.”
Courtney steps out of the way, motioning to the door.
“I'm sorry,” he whispers to you, his voice barely audible. “I was wrong. I’ll go. But I just want you know that I’ll be there for you, and for them, whenever you need. I’ll come to every doctor’s appointment and every school play, or sports game, and I’ll take them overnight whenever you need. I’ll help out with anything. Okay? I want to be their dad.” he gives you a look of longing and love before he turns to leave.
As you watch him leave your life again, you feel the panic overtake you. Your breathing quickens as you follow him with wide eyes. And in that moment, you realise that despite everything, despite the pain and the hurt, a part of you still longs for the connection you once shared. And your children deserve to have a father, whether you’re together or not. “Wait, wait!”
Santiago pauses, just as he gets to the door and looks back at you, his eyes wide. Even Courtney was looking at you with confusion.
“You can stay,” you say, nodding quickly. “I want you to stay. But we’re going to have a damn long talk after this.”
Santi’s shoulders sag again, this time in relief. He quickly makes his way over to you, and you throw the covers from you and swing your legs over the bed. With a quick order from him to not even think about getting out of the bed, he envelopes you in his arms. You feel a sense of warmth and security envelope you, all that matters is the connection between the two of you.
Your arms wrap around each other, pulling each other in tightly, as if trying to bridge the gap of all the time you've been apart. You can feel his heartbeat against yours, a steady rhythm that reassures you that he is real, he is here. In that moment, all your worries melt away, and you are left with nothing but the simple joy of being together again.
Courtney clears her throat awkwardly, causing the two of you to pull apart. “I can go home, if you need me to.”
“I don’t want you to,” you say. “I have a feeling that Beth and Gabs might show up and I need you to keep them tethered.”
“Good news!” Dr Montgomery called as she walked into the room, faltering slightly before smiling widely at the sight of Santi. “Good to see you, Santiago, I’m glad you could join us. I was just about to let you all know that your C-section will be in an hour.”
Your heart skips a beat as you look at her. “I’m sorry, I think I just blacked out for a second. Did you say an hour?”
She smiles at you again as she nods. “Yes. In one hour, you two will be parents.”
You look at Santi, who was looking at you with an equally nervous look on his face. You bite your lip before smiling and looking back at Dr Montgomery. “Okay. One hour.”
“Santiago, we’ll get you scrubbed up just before you all go in,” said Dr Montgomery, checking your chart and noting your current heart rate and the babies’. “Will you be staying?” she asks Courtney.
You answer before Courtney could get a word in. “Yes, she will be. She might be with some other friends of ours though, in the waiting room.”
“The guys are here, actually, I better tell them to wait up,” said Santi. He looks back to you. “I’ll come back.”
You nod at him as he leaves. Courtney watches him and turns to you as the door clothes. “Are you sure about this?”
You take a breath before sighing. “Yes. I am. If not for me, then for our kids. We don’t have to be together as long as he’s there for them.”
“And if he decides again that he doesn’t want to be their dad?”
You want to snap at her, to tell her to have some faith, but she was right, it might be a possibility. What if he does change his mind when the twins get here, when they’re out in the big wide world, and need all the protection they could get? What if in a few years he does find a girlfriend who wants a family with him, and he prioritises them over your kids?
You shake your head. You can’t think that now. Santi’s a good man. He doesn’t make the same mistake twice. “I trust him.” You say to Courtney.
Courtney gives a sigh before nodding. “Okay. And I trust you.”
You nod before looking back to Dr Montgomery, giving a nervous smile. “So, what now?”
You’re prepped for surgery, Courtney on the phone with Beth as she keeps her and Georgia in the loop. Gabrielle had to stay at home with the kids, but planned to FaceTime when Beth finally made it to the hospital.
“Traffic is horrendous,” Beth snapped down the phone.
You faintly heard Georgia screaming in general at the traffic, causing you to laugh. They had time, it was fine. And Santi was pacing your hospital room, on the phone with one of his sisters. You could hear here reprimanding him about something or other in Spanish, and you grinned in amusement.
In no time at all, you were being wheeled out of your room, Courtney giving you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, wishing you good luck, and that she will be in the waiting room with Beth and Georgia (and from what Santi said, Frankie, Benny, and Will too).
You nod at her and give her a teary smile and you and Santi are led into the theatre. You take a deep breath, looking around at the doctors and at Santi, who was already staring at you, giving you a gentle smile. You give him a small laugh. “The scrubs suit you; you should study to be a doctor.”
“Can’t stand for long hours with my bad knees,” he teases back.
You give a small laugh before you turn to look at him. “Dr Mongomery said they might need to go to the NICU for monitoring.”
Santi inhales sharply for a moment before nodding. “Okay. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
“Do you have an overnight bag?” you ask him, eyes wide with concern. “It’s an hour back home, I don’t want you going back and forth all the time.”
“I do have a bag,” he says, grinning. “I left it in my car.”
You freeze, your eyes widening at you look at him. “In your car?”
“In my car,” he replied, giving you a pointed look. “Went to a dealership this afternoon.”
Your eyes filled with tears as you looked at him. “Really?”
“I still have my truck,” he said, giving a small laugh. “Might give it to Benny. His truck is always breaking down and he relies on Will to take him everywhere.”
You could cry. You were crying. You were ugly sobbing as you laugh at yourself. “Couldn’t truly part with it?”
“At least it’ll be going to good hands,” said Santi as you’re finally brought to your operating room.
Dr Montgomery explains to you the procedure, and the risks it may come with as the other surgeons set up the partition and prep you for surgery. You nod along with Dr Montgomery, and you’re thankful when Santi places his own hand into your shaking one. You grip him tightly as Dr Montgomery smiles at you.
“You’re in good hands. The best hands,” she says, before she disappears to prepare herself.
You take a shaky breath before looking at Santi. He takes a seat and sits by your head as you hear the doctors talk about your epidural. He leans down and starts stroking your hair.
“Everything’ll be okay,” he said, the repetitive movements of his hand soothing you.
You nod at him, trying to calm your thundering heart. You don’t take your eyes from Santi’s as he squeezes your hand, smiling at you. You give him a nervous smile back. Santi lifts your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, trying to calm your nerves.
You think back to yourself not even a year ago, finding out you were pregnant by a complete stranger, and going through the journey together; through the ups and downs of accepting the pregnancy, and having to rearrange your lives to begin this new chapter, and dealing with the loss scare, and Santi’s uncertainty. You want to tell him how much he means to you, how much you love him, how happy you were that he was here, now.
You open your mouth to tell him, but you’re interrupted by Dr Montgomery.
“Are you ready?” she asks from over the screen.
You pause for a moment, just staring at Santi who gives your hand another reassuring squeeze. You take a deep breath and sigh it out before looking away from him and staring up at the ceiling. You give a nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Then let’s get started,” Dr Montgomery replies, smiling before disappearing behind the partition.
It was an odd feeling, having the doctors rummage around in you. You tried to focus on anything; the feeling of Santi’s hand in yours, what Dr Montgomery was saying to her team, but the blood rushing in your ears drowned out anything and everything around you. You bite your lip, feeling your chin quiver with unshed tears and your grip on Santi’s hand tightens, threatening to never let go.
Your eyes flutter closed at you concentrate on your breathing…
Until your eyes snap open at the sudden, high-pitched sound of a baby crying fills the room.
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Tagged - @khonsulockley, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland, @itsmytimetoodream
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kl125 · 4 months
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I’m a bit tired of the criticism surrounding the Percy Jackson show. Not the fact that criticism exists, because I agree with a lot of what’s being said, but people acting like there’s an intellectual superiority linked to hating the show. This is long, so here’s a “keep reading” for you.
No one said it would be a perfect book to TV adaptation. Even Rick said they would change some stuff, because he was given a chance to go back and reevaluate the original story. Personally, I think Rick’s writing is better suited for books, and doesn’t translate well to a TV show format (referring specifically to his writing for the screenplays), and there’s some jarring pacing issues moving from scene to scene. Not to mention, of the whole series, The Lightning Thief is one of the weaker stories, simply because Rick wrote it early in his career, and he had the chance of slowly improving with each new release. And I agree that simply saying, “Well, Rick approves of this adaptation,” does not excuse it from having flaws.
That being said, I still very much enjoy the show. Walker, Leah, and Aryan are carrying the story fairly well. I like their dynamic, and it gives a new perspective on Percy being an unreliable narrator, seeing as PJO is written in first person, but the show is portrayed in third person. Also, for people saying, “$15 million per episode, but where did it go?” The salaries for the cast and crew, the props, cameras, costumes, makeup, royalties for using certain songs, and some decent CGI, among other things. It adds up more than you think.
Now, if you don’t like the show, that’s fine. If you want to voice your criticisms, that’s fine. But please don’t act like your opinion is the only one that matters, and that anyone who actually enjoys the show is dumb or blind to the problems. People can enjoy things just…because. For me, there are MANY things I like which have TONS of evident problems, but those problems aren’t enough for me to give it up.
Also, “show don’t tell” is a good philosophy to have when telling a story, but we need to remember that this first season has to do a LOT of heavy lifting exposition wise. It has to cover a number of Greek mythology stories and character backstories, and weave them into the plot, in a relatively short amount of time. Yes, we have the benefit of eight episodes, but even then, there’s not enough time to dive deep into ALL of the intricacies of mythology and backstories. I think the episodes could stand to be a bit longer, and I think some scenes need have more breathing room so that the audience has more time to process what’s happening. As for why Percy seems to know everything, it’s stated multiple times outright that Sally told him the Greek mythology stories. They are ingrained in his brain, and Percy is very smart and quick.
Finally, there are a NUMBER of shows that had a pretty disappointing first season, but went on to improve with each new season. We should treat these criticisms as suggestions for improvement, instead of completely writing off the show. It’s not perfect, and that’s to be expected, but it’s still so early. We need to give shows time to grow and improve.
Anyway, if you’ve read all this and still hate the show, that’s fine. No one is stopping you. I fully respect that opinion, and I’m not here to change that. I just think there are more constructive ways of handling things like this than going on TikTok and being like, “Hot take, but the Percy Jackson show is actually garbage.” It’s about open conversation and constructive criticism and the hope that things will improve with time.
P.S. The irony of me writing this whole post portraying myself as intellectually superior is not lost on me. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I just hope we can be more productive when sharing them. That’s all.
P.P.S. If you really don’t like the show, and you think it’s objectively terrible, then don’t watch it. No one is forcing you to keep up with it each week.
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crossdressingdeath · 3 months
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I get the sense that a lot of those Durge players who basically treat Durge like edgy Tav and get mad whenever anyone brings up that Durge—yes, even their Durge—has committed just so many atrocities aren't super familiar with like. RPGs. Or if they've played RPGs it's RPGs where your character has no in-game background and no relevant connection to the plot beyond one thing. Y'know, games where the protagonist is just the equivalent of Tav. They don't seem to grasp that a character being customizable and a character having no canonical history... aren't the same thing. Let's use Dragon Age as an example; Tav is a lot like the Inquisitor in DAI, in that they have no relevant background with all extra dialogue they've got tied to their race and class (BG3 also adds backgrounds to it, but I don't know how much dialogue you get from those and the point still stands). There's no mention of their past, no interaction with anyone they knew beyond one war table mission or series of war table missions which involve one character they knew before. Who they are doesn't matter and you can do whatever you like because the story does not care and is not impacted by it. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that approach, personally I find the story tends to get a bit dull when there's no story hooks for the player character beyond "Uh... bad shit'll happen if you don't Do Something" but it's not bad. It's just not how Durge operates. They're more like the Warden in DAO (although a bit more defined than them). The details of their backstory are still up to you! But quite a few things are already set. We know the broad strokes of every potential Warden's life because it's all set up in the origins; it'd be stupid to insist that your Surana wasn't a Circle mage or your Cousland wasn't raised in a castle as the second child of the Couslands or your Brosca wasn't a Carta thug and complain whenever people talked about how all those things are in fact the case in canon, because that's all stated outright in the game. The exact details of what they did growing up, how they felt about it, what friends or enemies they might have made, all that is left up to the player but the broad outline of what they did is set. The game relies on that, because that set background is what gives the Warden a stake in the story that the writers can then use to make the quests hit harder.
Similarly, the fact that Durge did in fact do all those awful things is vital to the plot of BG3, because... well, let's be real here, there wouldn't be a plot at all if Durge hadn't willingly allied with Gortash and worked alongside him. We know they were a necrophile, Sceleritas says that outright. We know they genuinely cared for Gortash (whatever form that care took) enough to beg forgiveness from their father for getting too close but also fully expected to kill him in the process of burning down the whole world for Bhaal, the Prayer for Forgiveness makes that plain. We know they find roasted dwarf delicious, whether you pick the options to say that or not they have ambient dialogue in the goblin camp commenting on how good it smells. How they felt about those things is up to the player (if you don't want to play someone who used to be pure evil there's a lot of really fun mileage in exploring how they got to the point where they'd do those things and how they dealt with the things they did), but they did do them. Just like it would be stupid to throw a tantrum over people talking about Mahariel being raised by Ashalle after their parents died because Your Mahariel Definitely Wasn't when the game definitively says that yes they were, it's stupid to whine about how your Durge would never do those bad things when the game tells us outright that they definitely for sure did. If you can't handle that... just don't play Durge. That is why Tav exists, so people who don't want to play a character who's done legitimately awful things don't have to. Either play Tav or get over yourself, because being able to change Durge's name, race and class doesn't mean they stop being an origin character with a backstory of their own.
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rayssion · 8 months
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Let's chat about Magnus Chase and the gods of Asgard!!
So not me saying 'tomorrow' then proceed to delay that tomorrow for as long as possible, not my fault though! Each time I decide to write the review people just be like "oh, look at her, she seems at peace, let me just go.... Annoy her" that's my family summarised btw.
But yeah, we're finally here!
First off, the general rating for me is 4.5 for the entire series.
Now let's talk about somethings:
As a matter of fact, there's nothing I hate in this books like wth why dose it have to be this good??? Which translates to: I'm just going to fangirl, that's it, just FANGIRL.
I also want to establish that I didn't know not even a single thing about Norse mythology before reading these books. I didn't even know what Norse meant guys, I'm hopless like that. And even after they explained them a little my brain is still stuck at the "they're fancy vikings" setting lol I'm sorry.
So my whole Norse "knowledge" comes from, you guessed it, how to train your dragon🤡. It's bad, I know I know, yet it's still a start right? Like dude I never watched any Thor movie before (in my defense, it's not horror, and I enjoy horror) so just to put it simply, I don't know shit about Norse mythology.
Which is good btw!! Me not knowing anything about the mythology is actually good to measure how much Rick is good at explaining things that are totally new.
The first book took me two days to finish because it's like an introduction, so there were many new words and terms that my small brain couldn't keep track with, so I suppose you can really enjoy the series as a reread more than first time reading. Guys, it took me days to learn how to pronounce ginunngagap. So unless you already have a background on Norse mythology (not jumping into the books like stupid me) I feel like one's can't see the books true potential.
Alright, so we laid the ground about me being an uncultured swine, now we have the writing: we got the classic Rick's first person pov writing style that he went for in the original series pjo. But I got to note that it clearly improved, I can see that he was trying to step out of narrator Percy's shadow as he wrote mcga and toa, seeing that he wrote Magnus as an oblivious kid who's trying to stay out of everyone's business as much as he can, and he wrote Lester with no heroism in him whatsoever at the start. So clearly he wanted something to add contrast and volume to his universe and that's quite good. He achieved his goal with toa much more than in mcga in my opinion. Magnus, as lovely as he is, still finds time to roast people the good old Percy Jackson way, in other words you can see the resemblance between the two characters at some points. (I didn't include tkc because for me, Sadie and Carter are like Percy devided into two people, the fierce rushy personality went with Sadie, and the trying-to-pretend-to-be-calm-so-as-to-improvise-a-plan personality went with Carter, yet the two of them can be be snarky at their times).
To be Frank with you guys, not much of a character development happens during the books, I mean yes, Sam stands against her dad, and we get Amir into the picture, but yeah that's it. I guess the character who got the most change was Randolph, we love a little remedy arc at the end.
Oh other thing I like to point, Muslims don't call mosques you know "mosques" we call them Masjids (Masjid, sing.) I see it's a little slip but I prefer if it never happened, because mosque actually means "house of mosquito" so, yeah.
We also have the matter of Sam's hijab, I'd like to say that's not how being a hijabi works but I don't want to start a religious war here. Let's just say, you don't just wear your hijab when you want and not wear it when you don't want. What's the point then, if I can easily just go with my head uncovered? But we're not having this conversation, most of you won't be interested in this anyways.
And another thing! I've seen all these fanarts of Alex in the wedding dress (because I'm a sucker for Alex) and I wanted to point out, Alex was disguised as Samirah, Samirah is Muslima so her wedding dress would be, you know, Muslim friendly? Idk. But yeah, it should at least be ancle lengthed with high neck and long sleeves and the veil must be thick to cover her hair, like a hijab. Also it should be wide/big a little not clenching to her body. Just a little advice for artists there :).
Now that we spoke about Sam, can we talk about Alex? Tbh I like, knew nothing about genderfluidism(?) before this book (I read it on some blogs here on Tumblr and I imagined something totally different so I'll spear you my pathetic story) so it was nice learning new things with Rick. Like bro, in my head Alex is mostly a boy yet when I rant to my aunt I mostly use she/her. It confused the heck out of me during the first chapters actually. But I'm proud to say that I FIGURED OUT THAT LOKI WAS HER/HIS MOM LIKE BY MYSELF WAY BEFORE THE BIG REVEAL SO YEAH I'M HELLA PROUD.
I love Alex. Nothing else to say, I'm infatuated.
And yet if I'm infatuated with Alex then I'm fucking ready to die for Magnus at any given time! The boy is just so adorable!! He's so sweet even if he's being sarcastic like I just want to kidnap him and keep him in my pocket forever! I wanna hug him and pat his back, ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead because he deserves it! I just love him guys! Everything about him is just so endearing even if he was being a coward he's still lovely! I know I'm not making any sense here I just want you to know that I'm head over heels for him. Also I wanted to say that one of the things I really admired about his character is that he's never the fighter, I love how everyone else would be plunging into the battle and he'd just stand there waiting for either a chance to bargain with the enemy or an injury that he must heal. I love how Rick went out of the line this time and chose a god that, tbh, we'd never hear about him on regular basis. Like in pjo we had our protagonist Percy, son of Poseidon who's one of the big three, tkc we have Carter and Sadie channelling the power of Hores and Isis, major gods and Hores is the king or the gods, hoo's heroes are kids of the Olympians and Apollo is like, an Olympian god himself. So it was a nice turn to have Frey a neutral god who's concern is to live in peace, having our protagonist's main power to be healing or like disarming people, nothing big or fancy, yet it fits so much! Like my boy just wants to live a simple quite life (with a transgender genderfluid partner if possible and practically canon gay parents) even when there's an enemy he's like "can't I just go stand there and then a miracle happens and I don't need to fight them anymore?" Gosh I love him.
Magnus and Lester are just so relatable and so average-human-coded that you can't help but love them!
And I liked how most of the characters are also lovable, like the whole floor 19? They're just the best family and I'd be so delighted to spend eternity with them (till Ragnarok at least) I really love their dynamics. And then we have Blitz and Hearth and oh boy how much do I love hearth! I was like that's my soulmate out there pretty much since he was introduced. I'm not joking guys, these people out there have one of the best found families ever.
I also wanted to note that I'm kind of a sucker for villains like especially those who are antihero much. So, confession time, I kinda liked Luke back in pjo, I liked Set in tkc, and like Apollo himself I might simped once or twice for the emprors. The thing I wanted to say is! First book I like liked liked Loki, ngl till the end I found him fancy. Like if he wasn't so much interested in Ragnarok and world ending and whatever I might even put him with my favourite characters. Like, why do villains have to be hot?? If you don't want me to simp then don't make them hot! (What am I doing guys, I must seek help wtf)
Another topic, people would be oohhh percabeth omg omg and I'd be awww big sister Annabeth is the best! Like have you seen those Annabeth and Magnus scenes??? Bro let me tell you I'm fucking dead, like they're the best cousins out there, like that's so cuttee!!
This's a p.s actually but I wanted to say another thing, about the ending of the ship of the dead, yes it was emotional, yes I teared up. But don't you guys feel like there's much more to it? Like I'm sorry but how could we not return to the fact that Magnus can talk to birds now (Disney Princess™)? Or how in the first place can he talk to them, hearth himself doesn't know if his father had the ability. Speaking about fathers, the visions that Magnus saw about Alex's father, are we just going to pass them like they never happened? Guys idk I feel like there are some plot holes that might be left intentionally (hopefully for a next book sometime) and I also feel like there's something wrong with the gods, like the last scenes we had with them, I might be paranoid but I really feel like Frey was hiding something. Anyways yeah, that's what I wanted to add.
So this barely covers anything from the feelings I had reading this series (because I'm a sensitive bitch who visibly tremble and scream while reading fluff) but yeah, I must hurry up a little, so next thing we have is a couple of screenshots I took cuz why not? Some of them might even be out of context but I like it.
So I was going to post them in different posts and tag them here and Tumblr just said NO ") so yeah ig.
Hope you guys enjoyed this review (which is me basically simping as always) I'm like 100 pages into tsats now, hopefully I'll come back to talk about it soon.
Have a nice day/night♡!!
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skz317cb97 · 2 years
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Chan x Thick female reader
Word count: 9.5k 😬
Synopsis: You can't believe your dumb luck when you see your gorgeous blind date walk in but he seems disinterested in being there during your dinner conversation or lack thereof more like it. You're so ready to leave when the check comes but he offers to drive you home. When Chan finally admits why he was so quiet during the date you have a hard time believing it. Will there be a date number two or were you right about blind dating all along.
A/N: 18+ only! This is the fifth installment of the 'Thick reader series'. I hope you all enjoy this one! I've seen so much feed back on the others about people relating to these mc's and its bitter sweet for me. I'm glad you're all feeling represented and valid but I don't like that it means that we still deal with so much hate and fat phobia in the world. No matter your size you're beautiful and worthy of a beautiful life! If you enjoy this please leave a like, comment, reblog, shoot me an ask what ever! The feedback from this series has been so inspiring! Thank you! As always warnings and smut below the cut.
Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY strong language/cursing, oral (f&m receiving), a little spitting, protected piv sex (use condoms kids), praise and pet names (beautiful, baby girl of course), coming in mouth/cum eating. I think that's everything but if I missed something please let me know and I'll add it immediately!
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You had NEVER spent so much time and effort preparing for a date in your life. When your friend Sarah, who had set up the blind date you had agreed to, told you the restaurant you were meeting your date at was the fancy new Italian place, you decided to go all out. If not now; then when? You were perpetually single but it had not been for a lack of trying on your part. You had all but given up on the whole dating thing when Sarah told you about her friend Chan, how he never went out, and how perfect she thought you two would be for each other.  
You didn’t like the idea of blind dates. Going in cold, not knowing what the other person was like or looked like. It seemed like a recipe for disaster, especially for you. You had been on those dates, the ones where the guy you met from whatever random dating app you matched on would walk in, take one look, see you were a thicker girl than they realized and then you would have to sit through the disappointed looks and the forced pleasantries during the only date you would be having with them.  
You were certain Sarah wouldn’t even be friends with a jerk let alone try and set you up on a date with one, so you agreed but she hadn’t told you much about him other than his name was Chan and that he was a nice guy. Had she told him about you? The idea of him walking in and getting another disappointed look made your stomach turn with anxiety. It was one of the reasons you had stopped dating in the first place and it was also another reason you went all out getting ready. You trusted Sarah and if she thought you would be good together you wanted to make the best first impression you could. 
The day before your date you went to the spa and got pampered, a facial, mani, pedi, waxed, the works. The day of, you took a long hot shower to try and relieve a little of the stress you were still feeling. You dried your hair and put it up in a bun, you didn’t bother with the tendrils of hair that wouldn’t go back, just letting them fall around your neck and face. Your makeup wasn’t too over the top but you did highlight and contour. A little blush, black wing liner, some mascara, and a bright red lip and you were done with makeup.  
It was time to put on the dress you’d gone out and bought especially for the occasion. Normally you’d grab whatever little black dress you managed to feel comfortable enough in. This time you had found a wine-colored velvet bodycon dress. Definitely WAY out of your comfort zone typically but when you tried it on it fit you perfectly, which didn’t happen often for a big girl in a department store, so you decided you had to have it. You put on your black heels, a spray of your expensive perfume, that you only pulled out for special occasions, and you were out the door and headed to the restaurant you were meeting Chan at. 
That’s where you were at now. Seated at a table in probably the most elegant restaurant you had ever stepped foot in, waiting on your date that was now... you looked at the clock by the bar area. Twenty minutes late. You bit at your painted lips nervously and felt like everyone's eyes were on you. Watching the poor chubby girl wait for a date that was most likely, not showing up. They weren’t watching but it didn’t make you feel any less embarrassed. You told yourself you’d give him ten more minutes and if he didn’t show you would just leave. No way were you staying to eat if you got stood up by this guy.
About five minutes later you saw a man walking at a quick pace into the restaurant and up to the hostess. You were positive, no question, he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. He was in all black. A nice tailored pair of slacks that fit him perfectly, a suit vest, a suit jacket, and a little silver chain connecting the two that matched the chain and earrings he was wearing. He had no shirt and the low cut of the vest allowed a healthy view of his chiseled chest underneath. You were positive about another thing, there was no way HE was be the date Sarah had set you up with.  
When the hostess pointed over to your table and the man’s eyes followed her finger until they landed on you, your heart stopped. He looked you over and when his face fell your stomach turned. Fantastic. Not only was your worst nightmare happening but it was happening with an Adonis. Perfect. You half expected him to turn around and just leave but he made his way over to the table you were at. The closer he got, the better you could see the finer details of his face. His perfectly arched eyebrows, his soft brown eyes, his strong broad nose and his full pouty lips, his defined jaw. When he gave you a half smile you saw a dimple pop up in his cheek and his perfect white teeth peek. He was so handsome he couldn’t possibly be real. 
“y/n? I’m Chan, I uh... I’m so sorry I’m late.” You stood and took his hand to shake. He awkwardly leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. He seemed to be looking anywhere BUT at you. 
“Yes, hi Chan it’s nice to meet you. Sarah has told me such nice things about you.” He let out a little nervous laugh. 
“Oh, has she?” No, she really hadn’t but you gave a small nod and sat back down as Chan sat in the chair across from you. 
“She really didn’t tell me much about you.” Chan admitted. You cringed. Great. You shrugged and gave him a weak smile. 
“Oh, probably because there isn’t really much to tell.” He nodded quietly and opened the menu. When the waiter came over for your drink orders Chan quickly ordered. 
“Whiskey on ice. A double please.” You stopped yourself from chewing at your lips again as the waiter turned to you for your order. 
“Oh, just a glass of red wine for me and a water please.” The waiter bowed and left to fill your drink orders leaving you and Chan in awkward silence again. When you looked up from your menu Chan actually made eye contact with you for a split second before looking back at his own menu again. He didn’t seem to want to talk, didn’t want to look at you, what were you even doing there. It was going even worse than you thought it would and you could practically feel the disappointment oozing from him. When the waiter came back with your drinks Chan grabbed his and drank most of it quickly. God, he has to be drunk to even sit here, you thought to yourself. This was a mistake. You felt a lump forming in your throat and you cleared it, unintentionally getting Chan’s attention.  
“I uh... will you excuse me for a moment.” Chan’s eyes were on his menu again already and he nodded in reply. You pressed your lips together tightly and excused yourself to the bathroom. As soon as you were alone in a stall you couldn’t help but let a few tears go. You were so embarrassed. This is exactly what you worried about, exactly why you had stopped dating. Even putting in all the effort you had to look nice, he was clearly disappointed and you wondered how the hell Sarah thought this was a good idea. You sniffled a bit, wiped the couple of tears you had allowed to fall, pulled out your phone and called her. She answered quickly, excited for an update. 
“Hey girl! How’s the date? He’s cute yea?” You took a shaky breath trying to compose yourself so you didn’t start bawling the minute you spoke and she could tell you were upset. 
“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?!” She asked concerned. 
“It’s terrible Sarah! Why on earth did you think HE would be interested in ME?! He was almost thirty minutes late and he looks so disappointed and barely talks and won’t look at me. It's awful Sarah, I knew this would happen. We haven’t ordered food yet; I think I’m just gonna leave. I’m not forcing him to stay on a date he clearly doesn’t want to be on. I can’t sit through another date like that.” Sarah quickly tried to talk you out of that idea. 
“No no, don’t do that. He’s just shy, give him a bit to warm up to you. I swear if you just give him a chance you’ll see.” You let out a sigh. 
“Fine.” You hung up with Sarah, left the stall, and went back to the table. When you sat down Chan gave you a strange look. 
“Everything okay?” You kept your head down but nodded and picked up your menu again. Shortly after coming back to the table the waiter came over for your food orders. Chan ordered some pasta dish with vodka? You weren’t sure, spaghetti and alfredo were the expanse of your knowledge when it came to pasta dishes. Then the waiter turned to you for your order. 
“Uh, I’ll have the salad with balsamic vinaigrette.” You closed your menu and Chan gave you a funny look. 
“That’s all?” You nodded again, making no effort to make eye contact anymore and handed your menu to the waiter. 
“Yes sorry, I don’t have much of an appetite.” That was a lie. You hadn’t eaten all day letting your nerves get the best of you. You were starving but eating a big meal in front of someone that seemed put out by you didn’t sound that appealing. You sat in relative silence as you both waited on your food and Chan ordered another whiskey. You picked at the napkin by your plate and did your best to not look dejected but it was difficult and the tightness in your chest getting was getting worse as every awkward minute passed. You were thankful when the food showed up because at least then you’d have a reason to not be speaking to each other.  
Chan dug into his pasta dish, which did look good. He seemed to have a healthy appetite. You took a few bites of your salad and pushed the rest around your plate as you finished your third glass of wine. As Chan finished up his meal you asked to be excused again. He finished the bite he had in his mouth quickly. 
“Of course.” You got up and made your way to the bathroom to gather yourself a bit and freshen up your lipstick. As soon as you were in the bathroom you called Sarah again. 
“Hey! So?” You sighed heavily. 
“Just... when I’m making you sit on the phone with me later while I cry about this just deal with it okay?” Sarah felt bad that it wasn’t going well. She had really thought the two of you would hit it off. 
“Later, you can cry on the phone with me as much as you need. I’m sorry. I love you sweetie.” You took another deep breath. 
“Don’t apologize, I love you too. I’ve gotta get back.” You both said your goodbyes and hung up. Before you left you looked in the mirror to do your lipstick and you noticed the slight trail of mascara under your eyes from crying earlier. Oh great! No wonder he asked if you were okay. You fought off the urge to cry again, wiped the mascara off from under your eyes, and fixed your lipstick before heading back to the table to get the rest of this over with. Chan was putting his phone away as you came back to sit down. 
“I ordered you another glass of wine.” You nodded and gave Chan a weak smile. 
“Thank you.” Whatever helped get you through the rest of this absolute train wreck. 
“The waiter asked about dessert, I wasn’t sure... I mean you didn’t eat much of your dinner,” Chan pointed at your plate. 
“So, I wasn’t sure if you wanted sweets.” You shook your head no. 
“No, it’s fine, when he comes back we can just pay the check. I’m sure you’re ready to go.” Chan frowned. You had been upset the whole date. 
“Okay, while you finish your wine, I’ll pay the tab.” You declined the offer. 
“No. I hardly ate my food.” And drank half a bottle of wine, you had thought to yourself.  
“You don’t have to pay for me, I can get my own.” Chan raised his hand shaking his head. 
“No. Let me please. It’s the least I can do for being late.” You went ahead and accepted not wanting to drag out an awkward argument about the bill any further. Your wine came and Chan gave the waiter his card to pay the bill. You sat there sipping your drink and realized Chan seemed to be watching you closely now. You glanced up and when you made eye contact you straightened up a bit and he smiled at you. You forced a smile back but it was obvious that it was not genuine and Chan felt awful. 
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Chan NEVER dated. Ever and all his friends knew that. So, when Sarah told him she knew someone that would be perfect for him he agreed to a blind date, trusting her. He was on edge as soon as he found out you had agreed to the date as well. He couldn’t sleep the night before and he thought he might puke day of he was so nervous. When he went to get dressed it was a disaster, even with his friend Felix’s help. 
“Black black black why the fuck is everything I own black. FUCK. I’m gonna look like an undertaker no matter what I wear.” Felix laughed at Chan. 
“It’s your closet man don’t ask me. Besides that, you look good in black.” After Chan rifled through the closet frustrated a bit longer Felix walked over and pushed Chan out of the way. 
“Okay maniac, where are you going for dinner again?” Chan huffed out a breath. 
“That fancy new Italian place. Sarah picked it.” Felix nodded and shifted through the sea of black clothing hanging in front of him pulling out a black pair of slacks, a black vest, a black suit jacket and pushed them towards Chan. 
“Here. This.” Chan looked at the clothes and then at Felix. 
“What about a shirt.” Felix quirked and eye brow and shook his head. 
“Trust me, no shirt, just that. No way you’ll look like an undertaker in that.” Chan was about to argue but then he noticed the clock. 
“FUCK! I’m supposed to be there now!” He pushed Felix out of his room, quickly got dressed and raced to the restaurant. When Chan was walking up, he had glanced through the window trying to see if he could spot his date. At one of the tables, he saw a woman in a red dress, her hair up in an elegant looking bun and delicate whisps of hair around her face and neck. Chan’s jaw dropped. He shook his head and got himself together, he wouldn’t be that lucky, your husband must be in the bathroom. He got it together and headed in, he didn’t want to keep his date waiting any longer. He hurried in and straight up to the hostess station. 
“I’m so sorry, I’m meeting someone and I’m running a bit late. The reservation is for Chan and y/n?” The hostess nodded, smiling. 
“Yes, sir the rest of your party is already seated, just over there.” The hostess pointed in the direction of the table where the woman in the red dress was and Chan’s face fell. You were even more stunning than he’d realized. You were clearly, naturally, very beautiful and all dressed up like that, Chan was speechless. He gave you a little smile as he walked over. 
He had gotten as far as introducing himself and apologizing and then he was trying to be smooth and kiss your cheek but got nervous half way in and only gave you a quick peck. Even then he couldn’t get himself to look you in the eyes again after. When you said Sarah had said nice things about him, he felt a little cheated. 
“She didn’t tell me much about you.” He admitted. Sarah hadn’t really told him anything about you other than a name, you were sweet and that you would hit it off.  
“Oh, probably because there isn’t really much to tell.” He picked up the menu thinking about what to say to strike up a conversation, drawing a total blank and just nodding. It was like his brain went into fight or flight and one hundred percent chose flight. The waiter came over for your drink orders and Chan nervously blurted his order out quickly, then immediately realized he probably should have let you order first, like a gentleman. He was internally kicking himself.  
As soon as his drink touched the table Chan grabbed it and almost downed it all in one go. He noticed you glancing at him and that was the only reason he hadn’t. He didn’t want you to think he was a drunk. He rarely drank actually, but he needed something to take the edge off and maybe loosen him up a bit too. You were so pretty he was having a hard time making his brain work. He was always bad at talking to pretty girls. You took a sip of your wine and then excused yourself to the bathroom. 
Chan was waiting patiently for you to come back from the bathroom and he was determined to loosen up a bit and stop acting so weird. You’re just an incredibly attractive woman, he can talk to you, he can. Then his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he took it out, he saw he had a text from Sarah and he opened it.  
Sarah: What the fuck are you doing? 
Chan: What do you mean? 
Chan: Nothing! I swear! What’s wrong? 
The three little dots popped up as Sarah typed out her response but you were coming back to the table before Chan could get a reply. He put his phone back in his pocket. When you sat down, he noticed your mascara had run a bit, it looked like maybe you had been crying.  
“Everything okay?” You had nodded your head yes but Chan knew it wasn’t. He was being too quiet, he knew he was, but every time he thought he’d worked up the courage to start a conversation or ask a question he’d look up at you and lose his confidence just as fast. The waiter came over and took your meal orders. Chan got penne alla vodka because it was the only thing he actually knew on the menu and only because of a cooking show and you ordered a salad.  
“Is that all?” Chan was surprised. He’d been so nervous all day he hadn’t eaten a thing so he was starving now. He had thought maybe you would have been as well but you apologized saying you weren’t very hungry. Chan nodded and motioned for the waiter to order another whiskey. He could tell you were not happy with how the date was going. That was obvious. Sarah had probably promised some interesting outgoing guy, the guy Sarah knew and saw, and here he was too shy to talk to a beautiful girl. He had managed to say maybe twenty words the whole time you had waited for your meals. Mostly answers to your basic questions, trying to pull conversation from him. 
When the food showed up you both seemed thankful for the distraction. Chan was starving, he couldn’t wait another second and started eating. He tried not to scarf it down like a stray dog. Which was hard because it was really good. You seemed to not be very interested in your meal and Chan wondered if you just didn’t like eating around people you don’t know. Some people were like that. Chan was getting to the end of his plate, there was definitely enough that it should have been two bites but it was just so good. Chan scooped it up and ate it all in one. 
“I’m just gonna freshen up, if you’ll excuse me.” The first words uttered since the food arrived and Chan’s mouth was full. He felt like an idiot. He chewed his bite quickly. 
“Of course.” You left for the bathroom and Chan wiped his mouth rolling his eyes at himself. The waiter came over and asked about dessert for the two of you. Chan wasn’t sure. You might be more interested in something sweet. He decided to wait and ask you but ordered you both another drink. When the waiter walked away Chan’s phone buzzed and he had remembered that Sarah had been texting him. He grabbed it and opened their texts. He saw the one she sent from before first. 
Sarah: TALK to her! She thinks you’re not interested. I saw how she looked tonight, Chan. You’d be stupid not to be interested. TALK! 
When he saw the next texts that had just come through from Sarah, he felt awful. 
Sarah: Chan, I can’t believe you! She’s so upset! Why don’t you like her? You haven’t even given her a chance and really talked to her! 
Sarah: If she actually cries on the phone with me tonight because of you, I’m punching you. 
Oh no! You weren’t upset because Chan was an awkward dork you were upset because you thought he didn’t like you! How could he not? He didn’t have a chance to message Sarah back before you were coming back to the table again. When you sat down Chan tried to be more outgoing immediately.  
“I ordered you another glass of wine.” Chan noticed you had cleaned up the mascara from earlier. 
“Thank you.” He was determined to not let this whole date go down in flames because he was too shy to talk to a beautiful woman. 
“The waiter asked about dessert, I wasn’t sure... I mean you didn’t eat much of your dinner,” Chan pointed at your plate. 
“So, I wasn’t sure if you wanted sweets.” You shook your head no. 
“No, it’s fine, when he comes back, we can just get the check. I’m sure you’re ready to go.” Chan hated the fact that he made you feel that he was put out or disinterested.  
“Okay, while you finish your wine, I’ll pay the tab.” You immediately said no. 
“No. I hardly ate my food. You don’t have to pay for me, I can get my own.” Chan wasn’t going to take no for an answer on this. 
“No. Let me please. It’s the least I can do for being late.” Chan was glad when you agreed without further argument. The waiter came over with your drinks. Chan handed him his card and told him he just needed the bill. As the waiter walked away you picked up your glass of wine and sipped at it and Chan finally allowed himself to look at you, not just glance, but really look. God you were gorgeous, it unnerved him but he had to get over that. You noticed him looking and looked up at him. Chan smiled but the smile you gave him back was so forced it made him feel awful. The waiter came back with Chan’s card and you started to get up to leave while Chan was still signing the receipt. 
“Thank you for dinner Chan, it was nice meeting you.” You bowed as Chan finished signing quickly and stood up. 
“Oh, it was really nothing at all. Did you drive?” You shook your head. 
“No uber.” Chan squeezed the back of his neck trying to release the tension he felt. 
“Well, uh... I could take you home.” He’s a nice guy. You were sure he was only offering to be polite, so you would be polite and not make him. 
“It's fine I can just uber, you can go. I won’t have to wait long.” Chan shook his head. 
“Let me make sure you get home safely. To make up for being late.” You didn’t know why he was so adamant about it. Wasn’t the dinner awkward enough? You needed to have an awkward car ride too? 
“That’s why you paid for dinner.” You reminded him. Oh that was right. That was why you had let him pay for dinner. 
“Well then just for my peace of mind. Please?” He gave you this look and even as uncomfortable as the dinner had been, he was trying to be nice and it was a face you couldn’t say no to. 
“Okay Chan. You can take me home.” He put his hand behind you but not on you and offered for you to lead the way. Once you were outside he pointed to a black Fiat compact. You looked at the car and then him. You wouldn’t have guessed a man that looked like such a playboy, was driving that car like that. 
“What?” He asked smiling. You shook your head. 
“Nothing just... I expected you to drive a Mercedes or Maserati or something.” Chan scrunched his nose. 
“Nah never. I don’t need all that. Wade here is plenty of car for me.” He tapped the top of the car. It was your turn to make a funny face. 
“Wade?” Chan nodded with a little smile on his face. 
“Yea! A car has gotta have a name!” He opened your door and helped you into the vehicle then hurried around and got in the driver's seat. He closed his door and it was a bit intoxicating being in such a confined space with him. You could smell his cologne and you were close enough you could make out a few little freckles on his face. You didn’t realize but you had started staring. You couldn’t help it. He was so handsome. It was easy to get lost in the details of his facial features. Chan looked over at you and gave you a little smile. He seemed to have loosened up a little and had said more than he had the whole night, walking to the car.  
“So! Where are we going?” He asked as he started the car. You gave him your address and he typed it into his navigation before taking off. Silence filled the car but it wasn’t as awkward of a silence as before. Maybe because there was music softly playing or maybe because he had opened up a bit. Whatever the reason it didn’t seem as tense to you. Chan on the other hand was doing a marvelous job at pretending to not be freaking out. He had managed to talk to you and not come off like a complete idiot. It only took as long as pulling out of the parking lot though, when Chan could smell your perfume, it started to invade his senses. Part of his brain was ready to go flight on him again but by the time he pulled up to your place he’d gotten control of his faculties. He parked the car and sat for a minute trying to figure out where to start with his apology for his odd behavior at dinner. Just as he was about to, you spoke. 
“Well, thank you for the ride home Chan and again for dinner. Have a good night.” You started to open your car door and Chan was quickly losing his chance. 
“I’m sorry!” He just blurted it out, shouted it really. You jumped a little and your hand fell away from the door. You turned to him with a confused look on your face. 
“For what?” He was a nice guy, you figured it was a ‘sorry you’re just not my type’ kind of apology. 
“I’m sorry for being so quiet during dinner. I... I don’t date. EVER. I was worried.... I mean, well, I can be kind of a dork.” You scoffed and looked at him incredulously. 
“A dork? Do you see yourself?! Who on earth... you’re a walking Korean Ken doll okay? You could be the biggest nerd on the planet and I don’t think it would bother anyone. Certainly not me.” Chan looked down at himself. He was in such a hurry when he left since he was late, he really hadn’t taken a good look at the outfit he had put on. He was usually in gym clothes or sweats and hoodies, baggy clothes that didn’t show his body at all. He hadn’t even thought about what he looked like in the outfit Felix had picked him, he had just hoped he looked nice. Apparently, Felix had chosen well by your words. Chan laughed a little nodding. 
“Fair enough but never the less I hurt your feelings so I should apologize.” You shook your head and furrowed your brow. 
“You didn’t-” Chan raised one of his perfect eyebrows at you. 
“Sarah texted me when you were in the bathroom.” Oh you were going to kill her. 
“Oh.” You looked down and picked at your finger nails. 
“Even if she hadn’t though, I... noticed a little mascara under your eyes when you came back from the bathroom.” You buried your head in your hands hiding your face as it turned red in embarrassment. 
“If I made you cry y/n I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m just... I’m really shy and it’s worse around pretty women.” You rolled your eyes and huffed a hard breath out. 
“Right. Okay your apology is accepted but you don’t have to pander to me.” Chan didn’t know what you meant. 
“Wha... pander?” You pressed your fingers into your eyes. 
“Yes. You can say you’re not attracted to me. It was just one blind date together. I’ll survive.” Chan thought he was doing a good job at expressing how sorry he was for giving you the wrong impression. Clearly, he wasn’t doing as good of a job as he’d thought. 
“I... I’m not pandering.” His tone changed, his voice was quieter, his eyes were cast down at his steering wheel and he wrung his hands. 
“I’ve been nervous since Sarah said she had a friend she wanted me to meet. She knows I don’t go out so if she was suggesting I meet a friend of hers, I knew it was probably going to be someone worthwhile. I trust Sarah. I am attracted to you y/n. Very much so and if you’ll give me a second chance, I’d like to actually talk some, get to know you, and maybe... go out again?” He wanted to see you again, after that disaster of a date?! 
“You want to go out again?” You asked shocked and he nodded looking at you hopeful. 
“Can I be frank with you?” Chan asked and you shook your head. 
“I saw you through the window as I was walking up and I thought, God whoever she’s there with is a lucky bastard. I was positive I was not that lucky bastard. Then I walked in and the hostess pointed right over at your table and I realized holy shit! I am! You’re so beautiful y/n and I have no doubt if your friends with Sarah you’re a good person. Sarah doesn’t have the patience to deal with assholes. Well except me.” You put your hand on Chan’s, he looked over at you again and you shook your head at him. 
“You’re not an asshole.” Chan smiled at you and his dimples popped out making you smile back. 
“Look, I know it wasn’t the original date but I have a little roof top garden and a bottle of wine. If you want to come up, we can sit and talk for a little while? Get to know each other?” Chan’s smile grew times ten, scrunching his eyes up into little crescents. 
“Absolutely! I’d love to!” You both got out of the car and you lead Chan to your building. When you walked into your condo you kicked off your heels and let your hair down. Chan couldn’t help but watch your every move, just being in your space, you already seemed more relaxed. When you looked over and noticed him staring at you butterflies erupted in your stomach. When Chan saw you look he started scanning the room like he had been looking at the décor of your apartment and you smiled to yourself a bit. 
“Would you mind grabbing the wine from the fridge while I get the glasses?” Chan’s attention was drawn back to you by your question and he nodded. 
“Oh sure!” Chan followed you into your kitchen and grabbed the wine like you asked, when he turned back around he saw you reaching on your tip toes for the glasses that were just out of your reach. Your dress riding up a bit exposing more of your thighs and he was distracted for a split second before he came up behind you and reached up easily with his long arms. Chan grabbed two of them between his fingers by the stem. He was so close to you so he could reach them; his chest pressed up against you. You could feel his warmth of his exposed chest against your back and smell his cologne again. 
“Here, I’ve got these too. You lead the way.” You were blushing when he stepped back and smiled at him. You led him through your living room grabbing the throw blanket off the back of your couch on the way out. 
“Just in case, sometimes it can get a little breezy up there.” You slid on your house shoes, opened the window to your fire escape, and lead Chan up to the section of the roof you were permitted your garden. He stepped through a latticed arch way and it was like he was in a mini paradise in the middle the city. Chan couldn’t believe it. 
“You... you did all this?!” You nodded shyly. 
“I don’t really do much to it these days honestly, it kind of takes care of its self for the most part now.” Chan’s eyes were overwhelmed by the colors of the flowers the way they weaved together creating a private oasis. In the middle was a wide flat swing with an overstuffed cushion. You walked over to it and tossed the blanket on before crawling on yourself. 
“Give me those and you get on.” Chan handed you the bottle and then the glasses and kicked off his shoes as he climbed on to the unusual swing. When he got settled, he looked at you and smiled the biggest toothy smile. It made you melt inside. He grabbed the bottle of wine and started to open it, pouring you both a glass. 
“What even is this thing?” Chan laughed. 
“It’s just a swing. I come up here to read and stargaze, think, I like doing those things laying down so...” You motioned to the swing and Chan nodded in understanding. 
“I love it.” He exclaimed. You blushed as Chan put the cork back in the bottle and leaned over to set it on the ground. You handed him one of the glasses and then the conversation just seemed to flow out of the two of you. Careers, hobbies, siblings, what you envisioned with your futures, you talked about everything. As the two of you talked you both got more comfortable, more relaxed, sitting closer together. Then Chan’s hand sneakily found yours and he gently played with your fingers as you both continued on and on, music, movies, books. You started getting cold and Chan put the blanket you brought around your bare shoulders, then mustered up all his courage and put his arm around you too, warming you. Your cheeks flushed and you smiled leaning into his body more and you both continued to talk.  
Eventually Chan’s legs were stretched out and he was leaning back on his hands looking up at the stars. You were curled up with the blanket your head resting on one of his thighs looking up at the night sky too. Somehow you both were still asking questions, laughing, learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. It had been the most tense, awkward date in the beginning and now all you could think about was how you had probably never been so comfortable around a date, ever. You noticed your phone light up and grabbed it pressing the button, lighting up the screen. 
“Oh wow! It’s midnig- Oh shit. Do you have missed texts and calls from Sarah?” Chan grabbed his phone and looked. 
“Yeap. We’re in big trouble I’m guessing.” You nodded and pressed the call button by her name. It rang once, maybe, and she answered. 
“What the hell!? I’ve been worried sick!” You felt bad that you had forgotten to text her and let her know you were okay. 
“I’m sorry! Chan brought me home and we’re up in the garden having some wine and we lost track of time. I’m so sorry I made you worry Sarah.” She was instantly calmer knowing you were okay and even happier that it sounded like you and Chan had finally clicked. 
“Wait, he’s still there?” She asked with a hint of suggestion in her voice. 
“Yeeeaaasss....” That was all you said with Chan sitting right there. 
“Mhmm. Be safe, have fun.” You rolled your eyes and hung up on your friend. Chan smiled at you and it was as if stars had fallen from the sky and into his eyes. 
“Why do you look at me like that?” Chan’s smile transformed into a smirk. 
“Like what?” You shrugged unsure of how to word it. 
“Like... I’m so... interesting to you.” Chan scooted in closer to you again and twirled a bit of your hair between two fingers. 
“You are interesting y/n...” You nudged him shaking your head, not accepting the non-answer. 
“I look at you like that y/n. Because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I saw exactly why Sarah thought I would like you as soon as I laid eyes on you and now getting to really talk to you, getting to know you, I knew I was right to trust her. You’re talented and intelligent, kind hearted and I just really feel like I grazed over that beautiful part at first.” Your face got warm. You couldn’t help but smile and you were about to look away when Chan cupped your face, leaned in, and kissed you gently. You were surprised at first. Even with the hand holding and cuddling, you hadn’t really expected him to kiss you. His lips were soft and warm, you leaned into them. He pulled back quickly keeping it respectful. 
“I’m sorry I... I just had to do that once tonight.” You smiled and pushed a piece of Chan’s hair that had fallen forward back before running your fingers softly down the side of his face and holding his strong jaw in your palm looking into his beautiful deep brown eyes. 
“Only once?” The dimple popping smile appeared on his face before he leaned in and kissed you again. This time both of your lips parted and slotted together. He tasted like the wine you both had drank. The tip of his tongue teased your bottom lip and you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss as your fingers carded through his hair and you held on. The two of you carried on for a bit. Lips and tongues battling for dominance, hands roaming over clothes until Chan pulled away. 
“I’m sorry. I am, I’m trying to be respectful. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to pressure you but if we keep at this I... I might just lose my mind.” You sat up on your knees moving closer to Chan letting the blanket fall off your shoulders. You ran your hands across his broad shoulders, sliding your fingers up his neck and into his hair at the nape of his neck, you leaned in kissing him again. Chan closed his eyes and kissed you back. You started to lay back, pulling Chan on top of you. When he realized what you were doing, he stopped again. 
“y/n... we don’t... I didn’t say that so you would-” You pulled him down into another kiss silencing him before stopping and looking him in the eyes. 
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I don’t normally act like this but you are not pressuring me Chan. Anything we do tonight is because we both want to. Okay?” Chan shook his head before leaning down and tentatively kissing you again. It didn’t take long for your make out session to get heated again. Chan’s lips traveled down your jaw and neck leaving a warm wet trail of kisses against your skin. Chan’s lips met yours again in a fiery kiss and when his hips involuntarily pressed into yours you moaned into the kiss. 
“God you are so beautiful... you sound so sexy... can’t believe... can’t believe I’m touching you, kissing you...” Chan said between kissing you. Your hands went under Chan’s blazer and pushed it off.  
“More... fuck... please... more Chan.” Chan pulled at the top of your dress, pulling it down and freeing your full breasts, pleasantly surprised to find you braless. He stopped and looked at you before touching you, wanting to be sure you were okay with every step of what was happening. You gave Chan a little nod and his big hands cupped your bare breasts as he attacked your neck and chest with his lips and teeth. Your fingers found purchase in his hair again and tugged a bit when his pouty lips wrapped around one of your nipples and sucked on it. When it was perked and hard Chan let go and ran his flattened tongue over it. 
“Chan that feels really good. God!” He hummed around your other nipple as he sucked on it, then let go and teased it with the tip of his tongue. 
“You taste so good baby girl.” Your core throbbed at the sudden use of the pet name. He looked at you and raised that perfect eye brow at you again. 
“Could... could I taste... more?” Your legs instinctively wanted to press together at the idea of Chan’s head between your thighs. Your face and chest started turning red. 
“You mean...” Chan was not about to mince words anymore after the first half of the date. 
“I wanna go down on you. Will you let me eat you out? You don’t have to do anything to me, I just...” 
“Yes.” Chan stopped rambling immediately. 
“Yea?” You bit your bottom lip and nodded, smiling at him. Chan crawled down, his hands running down your body over your dress. When he got to the hem at the bottom, he gathered it under his thumbs and slowly started pushing the skirt up, exposing your white lacy panties. A wet patch already visible making them a little see-through allowing Chan a glimpse of your slit. You had never been so happy you had waxed as his fingers traced up your panties before hooking into them and sliding them down and off. You pressed your legs together and your hands came down covering yourself. Chan ran his hands gently up and down your soft thighs giving them a little squeeze.  
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you really are y/n?” You shook your head no biting your lips nervously. Chan grabbed your hands moving them away and spreading your legs so he could see how wet you were for him and then smirked. 
“Let me show you.” His lips made contact with your throbbing sex and it made your hips jerk. One of Chan’s hands splayed out on your soft tummy holding your down as his other reached and teased one of your nipples. 
“God! Chan! Oh my god that feels...” before you could tell him how well he was doing his lips puckered around your clit and he hummed in delight at the sounds you made when he started sucking on it. Between him sucking on your clit and the vibrations from him humming, you couldn’t help but try and grind up against his face, even as he firmly held you down. His free hand traveled back down your plush skin before spreading your lips. Chan stuck his tongue out and started going back and forth between a quick flicking motion with the tip and flat wet stripes before gently sucking your clit again. You gripped the cushion of the swing tightly as you felt the string inside you tighten. 
“I’m... I’m gonna... Chan... please. Don’t, don’t stop.” Your words were a breathy whisper as you begged him to push you over the precipice. He grunted with no intention on stopping, in fact your pleas made him eager to get you to your climax that much faster. The way he started going at your pussy was messy but with precision and with a flick of his tongue your world exploded. 
“Ooooooh my... fuck. Chan... fuck. I’m coming!” He slowed down and continued kissing and licking you as you twitched and shuddered through the remnants of your orgasm. When you relaxed and let out a deep breath Chan climbed back up next to you and smiled looking down at you flustered and blushing from coming. His fingers traced across your breasts gently, teasing your nipples. 
“That was so sexy baby girl. I love the way you sound when you moan my name.” He kissed your neck by your ear and it tickled, making you turn your head and look at him. He pushed a few stray hairs out of your face and you leaned up and kissed him. You sat up, gently pushing Chan to lay back and he pulled away from the kiss as you started to get between his legs. 
“You don’t have to...” You made him lay back and straddled his thighs as you started undoing the buttons of his vest, pushing it open but not off and running your hands down Chan’s firm chest and abs stopping at the waist of his pants. 
“Chan? Do you want a blow job?” Your fingers toyed with his belt a little. He swallowed hard and his ears turned bright red as he shook his head. 
“Yes. Please.” You unbuckled his belt, undid the button of his pants, slid his zipper down and Chan’s heart was already ready to beat out of his chest. You grabbed on to the waist of his pants and underwear and Chan lifted his hips up so you could pull them down. His cock sprung free from his briefs and was already so hard from just the thought of your mouth on it. You tossed Chan’s pants and underwear aside a little and kneeled next to him. He sat up a little, his fingers weaved through your hair and pulled you into another kiss. As he was distracted by kissing you your fingers gently wrapped around his shaft. Chan broke the kiss as his head fell back between his shoulders. 
“So soft. Your hands are so soft.” You squeezed him gently and started to stroke him a bit. He was the perfect size, fit nicely in your hand and above average length. You really wanted to know what he tasted like. You leaned over his cock and let a little spit drip from your mouth onto the head and spread it down his length. Chan groaned and laid the rest of the way back as you took him into your warm mouth. 
“Mmyes your mouth feels so fucking good.” He looked down at you and gathered all of your hair up, holding it away from your face so he could see his cock disappearing into your mouth again and again. Your head bobbed and Chan helped set the rhythm as you struggled to take him deeper. 
“Stick your tongue out baby, you’ll be able to take more. Fuck! You’re sucking me so well beautiful.” You did as Chan said and stuck your tongue out allowing a little extra room in the back of your throat for his cock. You gagged a little and pulled off. He kept your hair pulled back out of your face as you looked up at him and stroked him. He grabbed your hand stopping you before he came. Chan sat up and pulled you into another passionate kiss, his tongue invading your mouth immediately. He held your face and pushed his plump lips against yours softly again and again.  
“I... I want you y/n. If you don’t want to, if this is as far as you want to go tonight, that’s fine but... just... FUCK I really want you baby girl.” He grabbed your hand and weaved his fingers through yours looking at the intertwined limbs as he confessed how badly he wanted you. You pushed his hair back out of his face again. It was messy from you running your fingers through it before and his edges were starting to curl a bit from the light sweat on his forehead and temples. You ran your hand down the side of his face and he closed his eyes. 
“Do you have a condom?” It was a whisper but Chan heard it clearly. His eyes shot back open and he looked at you to make sure he actually heard what he was sure he had. You sat there on your knees your dress bunched around your midsection, biting your lip giving Chan the sweetest doe eyes. He took in every inch of you, every soft curve, every plush bit of flesh exposed to his eyes was drank in. He shook his head and you quirked an eyebrow at him. 
“Not that I thought... well I just... I was a boy scout. Always prepared you know?” You laughed a little. 
“It’s okay, grab it?” Chan relaxed again and leaned over, grabbing his slacks and pulling 3 foil wrappers out of his pocket and tearing one off, tossing the others to the side. You laid back and spread your legs looking at Chan and he was certain he’d died and gone to heaven. 
“I want you Chan. Please.” He wasn’t going to make you beg, no. He ripped the condom open and rolled it down his length before grabbing your soft hips and pulling you closer so that he was nestled in between your thick thighs. You looked down and watched as Chan grabbed his cock and rubbed the head through your folds, collecting your arousal before slowly pushing the tip inside you. Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as you watched him slowly bury himself into you until his hips were flush against yours. 
“Fuck! So tight, fuck! I need a second.” You nodded and ran your hands up and down Chan’s abs trying to help him relax a little. He closed his eyes and slowly started thrusting into you and it felt divine. His length and curve made it so he easily hit your g spot. Chan’s rhythm picked up and he grabbed a hold of your dress using it for leverage as he fucked you harder. Your breasts bouncing with each thrust of his hips into yours. 
“Feel so good Chan fuck! Harder, please!” Chan grabbed one of your breasts with his free hand, still gripping your dress around your midsection tightly, pulling you back on to his cock in tandem with every push of his hips. It felt so good but you knew you wouldn’t be able to cum like that. 
“Chan, need... fuck!” Chan slowed down rolling his hips as he continued to fuck you. 
“Need what baby girl what do you need?” You pulled him down to kiss you and welcomed his tongue tasting you again. His hips pushed into you deeper and deeper making it difficult to form the words. 
“Top... on top.” Chan smiled down at you, half fucked out underneath him. 
“You wanna ride my cock beautiful?” You nodded. 
“Fuck! Yes please!” Chan pulled out of you and laid back on the swing patting his hips. 
“Come on and ride it then baby girl.” You sat up and straddled Chan’s waist reaching back, aligning his cock with your entrance and sinking down almost taking him fully. His hands gripped your plump ass and eased you down on him the rest of the way. 
“Oh my god Chan! Yes! Fuck!” Chan squeezed your ass and started grinding you back and forth on his dick.  
“Such a good girl, fuck! Riding me so well beautiful. Does it feel good?” You braced yourself, putting your palms flat against Chan’s abs as your started riding him on your own. His hands now resting on your full hips as he watched his cock disappear between your thick ass thighs. His cock hit your g spot perfectly and the added pressure to your clit from grinding against his pubic bone had your pussy dripping. It was wet and messy and hot. 
“So fucking full Chan, you fill me up so good!” Chan gripped your dress that was still bunched up around you, lifted you, lifted his hips and started fucking you hard from below. 
“Cum for me baby girl. Let me hear you moan my name with that pretty voice again. Cum for me beautiful.” The next snap of Chan’s hips up into you sent you reeling into the most mind-blowing orgasm of your life. Chan lowered his hips and you and helped your grind against him riding out your climax for as long as possible. Chan couldn’t take his eyes off you, flushed, chewing your bottom lip, full of his cock and softy, slowly rotating your hips in circles as you came down. His finger-tips rubbing you gently up and down your sides as your body buzzed.  
Chan cupped your cheek and rubbed his thumb across your bottom lip before gently pushing it in your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it and sucked, swirling your tongue, giving it a similar treatment to what his cock had gotten earlier and you could feel him twitch inside you. You were locked on Chan’s dark lust hazed eyes as he chewed his lip and watched you suck on his thumb. He gently pushed down on your tongue making your mouth open a little so he could see the pink muscle inside. 
“Can I cum right here baby girl?” He let the pressure off your tongue and you wrapped your lips around the digit again, gently taking it between your teeth as you nodded your head. Chan pulled his thumb out of your mouth and held your waist as he sat up and laid you back down. Chan pulled his cock out and pulled the condom off before crawling up by your head and getting on his knees.  
“Open up for me beautiful let me see your tongue.” You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out flat as Chan spit in his hand and started stroking the head of his cock fast. When he was close he started working his shaft, pushing his tip down towards your tongue, ready to cum in your mouth. Without warning you wrapped your pretty lips around the head of his cock and sucked as you rubbed your tongue firmly against the sensitive spot at the base of his tip and hummed. 
“FUCK I’m gonna cum!” You sealed your lips around the head of Chan’s cock firmly as warm thick cum filled your mouth. He twitched and jerked as you sucked every drop he had to offer. When he pulled his cock out he saw his load of cum in your mouth for just a second before you swallowed it and laid there utterly fucked out of your mind. Chan ran his hand through your hair, leaned down and kissed you before laying down next to you and pulling you in close to his chest. You leaned over for a moment and he wasn’t sure what you were doing until you pulled the blanket you had brought up over the two of you and nuzzled back into Chan’s embrace. You both laid there looking at the stars, holding each other in the most comfortable silence of the entire night before Chan broke the silence. 
“So what are my chances at a second date?” You looked up at him, shook your head and laughed. 
@caroline-ds-world @ughbehavior @chansynie @jquellen27 @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny
“I’d say pretty good.”   
Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!
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aerequets · 1 year
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Hello again!
I was wondering if you had any spy x family fic recs that are twiyor centric? AUs? I’m having trouble finding ones that are what I’m looking for. Ratings don’t matter. Anything from G to E would be appreciated! Thank you!!
boy oh BOY do i have twiyor fic recs !!!! it's like basically all i read LMAO and i am always on a hunt for more. i feel like i have read through a good chunk of what's on ao3 and i still feel starved. there's always my bookmarks you can sift through for twiyor fics, but for some more curated recommendations (and this is not gonna include all the ones i've lost my mind over, that's far too many, this is just what i can remember off the top of my head):
the living blues by @nire-the-mithridatist
GOD it would be such an understatement to say i am a huge fan of not only this work but EVERY WORK by this author because SHE HAS A WAY WITH WORDS OKAY. i avoid angst like the plague but i saw the happy ending tag to this fic and IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT (chapter 6 is gonna be an epilogue)!!!!!!! AUGHHH this isnt even a good review im just yelling but yeah this is really good and also pretty much everything else by this author, i'll say it now so this list doesn't have numerous fics by the same person just do yourself a favor and read through what she's got if you haven't already
rated T, 5/6 chapters, currently 14k words
(edit: completed!)
With Kid Gloves by crownofrosegold on ao3
4 words: Mr Darcy Hand Flex
rated G, 1/2 chapters, currently 2.5k words
(edit: completed!)
the most yearning, pining, longing fic ever with the least physical touch ever. loid traces yor's gloves in his pocket with his thumb and its somehow intimate. yeah
it's been a hot minute since it's updated but the first chap can kinda be read as a standalone (to me) which is why i rec, even though i personally only go after finished fics for my own sanity :^) also its just too darn cute how can i not
How to Be a Supportive Husband by @nemaliwrites
rated T, 1/1 chapters, 910 words
short and sweet drabble of the most simpiest loid post reveal. what more could you want
MISSION: Bottom Feeder by SilverSupa on ao3
rated T, 2/4 chapters, currently 9.5k words
this one is just too good and funny LMAOO yor and loid are Peak Stupid and also Peak Attracted To Each Other so it's just. mm good mix. this one's also been a hot second since it's last update but i love it too much so its on this list
even when we're not together (will you stay with me?) by JaMills on ao3
rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4.5k words
gosh this is another one of those super good reads that make you sit and think after you're done. soulmate AU where they swap bodies as children until they meet. personally i'm not the most dedicated reader of aus where yor and loid meet as kids, but the way its handled here is just so good and adds to the story. it's also part of a series and the next installment is equally as good. this is another one of those authors that has a lot of quality stuff (although there's a good dash of angst which i keep my distance from JKFHISDH) so look through their page!
Enough by Frotu on ao3
rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4k words
EHEHE THIS ONE HAS ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FR it is soooo cute. typical thing of yors coworkers getting into her head, she asks loid if what they have is enough, and... well.... you can read what happens from there ;] (spoiler: it's very cute)
a dream in charmeuse by selfetish (@selfetishizing ) on ao3
rated T, 2/2 chapters, 12k words
oh gosh, the prose in this is just?? so insanely good??? its such a pretty read. this is twiyor, yes, but it's also a deep dive into femininity and yor's understanding/rediscovery of it. i remember the first time i read it the opening scene of the first chapter was just so GOOD to me, i was like OMG i am not gonna forget this this is so iconic AND IT IS!!!!! i love me a good yor centric fic. we usually get more of twilight contemplation (i mean he has got the whole mission thing going on and hes our resident overthinker so, understandable) but this was such a nice look into yor's..,, like, fundamental building blocks?? if that makes sense?? its just good ok read it
"The Five Times Loid Forger Went Topless In Front of His Wife and the One Time She Reciprocated" Or “Bare-Chested in Berlint” by Talik_Sanis on ao3
rated M, 6/6 chapters, 17.5k words
that title should tell you all you need to know right LMAOOO it's just yor being incredibly horny, like embarrassingly so. she lacks a grip
again this is just 8 fics, where my bookmarks list are over 200 (yeesh) so feel free to look through those. i've also got some fics, most of which are twiyor lmao (brainrot i told you). and don't forget to show these awesome authors some love!
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