#none of these rly Mean much i just highlight stuff i like

[fagbyatt]

help this is all ch1 <3

#sorry for long screenshot god bless #.txt #scrying song.txt #none of these rly Mean much i just highlight stuff i like #long post

[charliespringverse]

iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 91

· ouch/ow/owie: 5

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4

She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy

“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour

“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')

It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!

I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn

“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw

Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises

If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think

“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY

“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.

“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(

“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)

“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah

“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)

Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy

We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((

This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)

Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(

Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony

He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language

“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends

I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨

“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc

“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE

And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((

“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically

Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)

It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach

“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(

Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN

#i annotated this on friday but i've been too busy to write it up #so heyyyy guess who isn't ready to let this week go #anyway. i truly feel ghosted may be one of the best things to ever happen to this fandom #in the absence of iana at least #iwbftreread

[araksi413]

hi hello!! can i ask 🎮, 🌈, 💙 and 🤔 for the oc ask game? i don’t think i’m familiar with any of your ocs yet so feel free to tell me abt as many ocs as u want to if you have more than one :D

- @bumblebee-bumbling

hiiiiii so sorry for taking so long to answer ! thank you so much for asking !!

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🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

ooh okay instead of three hobbies per oc ill do three ocs. smiles

Sarah - gardening !! she likes to grow vegetables that her wife bakes into yummy food. they're a very sweet couple

Mattias - fashion.. he likes sewing his own dresses when he has time, though with uni he's much busier then before

Eva - some sort of fighting sport ? probably boxing, she has a lot of anger so venting it by punching people that consent to it is probably nice.. also probably did like. dancing when younger but quit bc of the teachers

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💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

the Special Twelve are my dnd-ish ocs, so at least some of them have magic :D

most that do have an average skill with magic, tho Bon is a bit of a prodigy for his age.. he had an access to powerful high level magic since early childhood which 1) resulted in him blowing himself up with a fireball at age 10 and 2) means he learned impressive powerful spells before groundwork so he's incredibly powerful but. cant do common level stuff

in World 1, Anna is a time walker... she can pass through different time bubbles/areas and affects time around her (morphs it into what she considers her time, does so subconsciously)

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🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Ezry - likes to give people nicknames and petnames ! they get very silly with it

honestly not sure who else to put here..

Al'ixia-MariUnak is super anxious and wrings her hands a lot and pulls on her hair

hmmm Mattias is very touchy but only w people he's close to (so mostly Eva)..

Emobear is mute and not very expressive which is highlighted by Deer who is overly expressive and talkative...

[no name entered] growls a lot, before they learn to mimic human speech, and even afterwards when around people that uh. aren't bad <<they were in a pretty bad situation for a while

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🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

alright, putting this one last bc im gonna do p much all of my ocs:

World 1:

Eva - trans girl, straight (?), she/her

Mattias - gnc cis guy, gay, he/him

Sarah - lesbian, butch, she/her, definitely used he/him at some point

Sun - bisexual, she/her

Zara - bisexual & polyam !, she/her

Anna - transwoman, hasn't ever thought about romance or sex, she/her

Deer - gender is just deer, it/its, Emobear's girlfriend

Emobear - it/he/they, no gender, Deer's girlfriend

Charles - transmasc, not really a man tho? complicated identity issues die to being dead and isolated from society, doesnt care all that much, uses no pronouns

[no name entered] - that's a alien. uhm. nonbinary in a way, fully outside our gender norms. they/them and neopronouns

Araksi - agender aromantic asexual, has a qpp, they/them, sometimes it/its

Daphne - she's a snake.. probably aro? but not ace, i think. doesn't rly use pronouns for herself but other people call her she and she hasn't corrected them

Special Twelve :

(labels would be more complicated bc they would not exist in their world and their society is different then ours, none of them actually have the words to describe their identities the same way we would)

Cari'sam - cis and straight(?) (is it comphet? is it compallo? is she straight?)(she's struggling), she/her

Roben - trans woman, bi, she/her

Menir - gay bear man. he should've gotten to be a bear. he/him

Bon de Ciel - hasn't thought about it (hes just a babyyy), potentially aro/ace , he/him

Illumm - he/they, would get very flustered if asked about romance (questioning, probably)

Al'ixia-MariUnak - bisexual, grey-ace <- but so unaware, she/her, probably she/they if she ever thought about it

Man Uu - gnc genderqueer man, free with his love (wouldn't label), he/him usually, but wouldn't mind any other pronouns (i should make him do drag....)

Faelyn Anastasia Boldur - genderfluid/genderqueer, wouldn't id as trans, they have a job so they're not thinking about it, the uniform isnt gendered anyway, they/ze/he/she

Em - they/them nonbinary, wouldn't id as trans

Kamari - they/them but due to additional identity issues, not being trans. they're weird about it <3

Ezry - they/them nonbinary, would id as trans

Camm Dan - in love with his best friend, wouldn't label himself, he/him

Other OCs (holy shit theres more ??):

Un: eh??? probably aro but married? at some point, she/they/it

Rikuki: pan & arospec probably? they/xey/ze

Láng and Lú have the same deal really - when you have lived countless lives in many shapes and forms how can you just be one. all of them are you - their different reincarnations use different pronouns and names but their souls are like. genderless. forever chasing each other because noone else can understand.

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if you wanna see what all of these guys look like, head over here :

#ask tag #araksi posts #oc tag #ocs #ask game #thank you sm for asking abt my ocs. i love themb so much

[pathos-p]

"Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game" but i got tagged in it so i am gonna answer all of them 'cause theyre fun

questions by @/i-like-eyes

thanks for the tag @king-chook!! ^^

1. Art programs you have but don't use

i thiiink i have a license for clip studio paint that came with my old wacom tablet but i never rly used it. also used to have krita installed for the longest time but just always felt off to me idk why. don't currently have it installed anymore tho

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

to their right is a bit easier i think. not smth i consciously notice, mostly i'm just thinking abt when im doodling on the margins of stuff they usually are looking to the left of the page

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uhhh idk tbh, i dont think much of my art draws from that

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

cityscapes !!! i love cities they r so pretty and cool looking but goddamn theyre so hard to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

80-20? i post everything that i finish. basically the only stuff that doesnt get posted is sketches i give up on

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

hmmmm not that i can think of rn...

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

watercolour !! i've tried it a few times and Struggled but i love seeing ppl's work in it

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

so many animatics ..................... also many comic ideas ..................... i get so many ideas that i just never start on or start and only do a little before losing the hyperfocus/fixation and just Cannot continue them. it sucks

9. What are your file name conventions

usually the character name, maybe a bit of description of what theyre doing... idk not much of a convention to it

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmm i like jackets :)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

yes, usually music. sometimes random youtube videos like stream highlights or video essays.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

uhhh hair? maybe idk. hard question bc it varied a lot depending on what kinda style and just. sometimes smth is hard in a particular drawing then easy later idk

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of anything i will edit it in if i think of anyone

14. Any favorite motifs

in my drawings i dont feel like i use any much. mostly i pull motifs from whatever im doing fanart of lol. in music, i like religious motifs (but not like. ones abt christ or bible stories, rather heaven, hell, god/divinity, angels)

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

at home pretty much exclusively. in bed lol

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

idk i feel like the stuff im better at is the stuff i like bc i practice it more for fun lol

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not usually

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

surprisingly little. mostly bc i do more digital art lol

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

weapons and nature. especially ice for nature

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

i cant think of anything ill add it if i do

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love rougher styles, like ones with a lot of visible brushstrokes and bold lines and shit. so cool. idk how to make it look good lol i dont have the confidence in my lines for it

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none... probably i should change that

23. Do you use different layer modes

yeah, often i use a multiple layer for shading then a variety to colour adjust at the end

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

cant think of any

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

there was this poem i wrote about capitalism and how shit it is and someone thought it was abt interpersonal relationships/smth along the lines of a breakup. i rly didnt mind it tho i thought it was cool bc the emotion was not far off, the sense of betrayal and abandonment. just a very very different subject

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

no lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i ran a zine (digital only) for the dimension 20 zine jam! and also made art+writing for others in that :D also was part of a polygon yt fanzine a while back

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

spider-man (not the MCU, mostly tasm and a few of the comics)

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

IS IT BAD TO SAY A PIECE THAT GOT QUITE A BIT OF POSITIVE ATTENTION ?? maybe

i rly like the cj comic i did i am genuinely so goddamn happy with the result so . even tho it did very well by the standards for the fandom its for and my current follower base it is underrated

alternatively this one https://www.tumblr.com/pathos-p/704380503765221377/tridential-sovereignty?source=share bc it didnt get all that much attention on any social media site but i think its cool !!

(mostly only using recent ones bc i dont wanna dig back further esp onto my old twt acct, too much work lol)

[castle-dominion]

6x2 dreamworld

Castle still hasn't told becks that esposito thinks dreamworld is a thing. Or yk say "I heard abt it for derek storm"

There was only one existing "vial" of toxin? I mean like...

& then isn't US healthcare rly bad?

Is castle allowed in the investigation now?

"You told esposito?"

I think BRONSON thought it did

Lol castle, who is dying, is doing better than beckett.

Only an hour or two? how close is their thinking? he has 10-12 hours living & then another 1-2 hours?

reporter's gonna be dead

sleep when I'm dead" lol

RC: And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the day.

RmC: Is he always such a character?

You know, cops lie to you all the time. Be careful.

Just having this convo in a coffee shop?

IDK much abt this, I've seen it before & I'm still confused.

RmC is talking so slowly...

Oh heck yeah, the sec of defense is SO hiding stuff.

He has a slight lisp, his S is an SH.

Beckett is too much of a homicide cop, she talks to people firmly instead of being polite to this guy.

If it indeed does exist.

Is he lying when becks asked him abt valkyrie?

how much of the toxin do they HAVE?

Wasn't that beckett's ringtone in earlier seasons?

If I'm not there tomorrow <3 <3 <3

Martha KNOWS something is wrong.

Oof those "see you tomorrow"s dsjlskdjfslkdjf

The washington monument lol.

Love dual citizenship.

K but how is the antidote administered?

& how MUCH toxin/antidote is there? Maybe it is a rly small thing & he DOES have it in his backpack but it's so small u didn't notice at first.

RC: Thanks. For letting me be a part of this.

Vilante: When you write your next novel, maybe you’ll find a place for a dashing Colombian American federal agent.

RC: Consider it done.

Rasheed: (laughs) You have a gift for making every fact sound sinister.

That's cops for ya.

But you left AFTER he did...

Oh he was following him & then they talked & then it didn't matter who left first.

Here's the plot: Rasheed saw Bronson holding the dead body of a young woman, Bronson pulled a gun on him, they kept it a secret.

Bronson thinks rasheed told someone.

He could come up with a lie like that, plenty of people do.

Btw bronson was in that car for ages, what if he exposed other ppl to that toxin babes? Also did they ever figure out who planted the aeresol toxin in his car?

"We've been trying to highlight things for years, we didn't realize that the highlighters were black" -the fbi

Not since typewriters. i & W. & the music too.

Love a good old transcript. https://dustjackets.fandom.com/wiki/6x02_transcript

INT – TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN

KEVIN RYAN and JAVIER ESPOSITO exit the elevator.

KEVIN RYAN:

I just always thought that you and I would have kids together.

All the fangirls: wHat.?

(clipped)

Martha going to rysposito for help <3

Castle & his bad coffee lol.

It is his death, he can joke about it if he wants.

Lol typing.

Dun dun dun, valkyrie is the servant girl who is getting killed in there. Whoops.

Dun dun dun he mentioned dreamworld.

Vilante is me: But if he wanted to silence Bronson, why would he go to the trouble of setting him up first? And none of this explains the theft of the toxin.

So confused.

lmao waterboarding the truth out of secretary reed.

My man has a NICE house

"the woman whose husband is dying"

Ask him "then tell me who to actually ask about!"

rysposito calling beckett & castle's mom & all this stuff...kjsdkfhsjdk

She's smart but risked her job on it.

Also yeah castle is getting more shortness of breath, how long does he have now?

The reporter boy claimed the body of the servant agent?

Why would the reporter, Brad, have given up his information earlier in the episode then?

It's one of the oldest motives there is.

RC: I was given less than a day to live just a little less than a day ago

(i shouldn't find that funny)

Man has a nice apartment, too bad Castle doesn't have his writer vest tho

WOULD he have all that info in his house? is he that messy?

But maybe becks should call the doc anyway so he can administer it bro...

Oh now that is sick (so cool & poetic tho)

You & your stupid hunches <3.

Looks a bit like the guy from the show mum & lil bro are watching. oliver queen.

The sugarbowl

Also nobody knew he had an appointement for an interview with the wife? rly?

Castle *falls*

anTidote babe.

Oh Castle is going to wake up & trip this guy lol.

Oh it's mccord,, not castle. too bad. Good how she trusted her partner's hunches tho.

So castle almost dies & then makes a full recovery?

INT – HOSPITAL

KB: Castle.

Her voice is soft over the beep of the machines. She reaches out to stroke his neck.

KB: Castle.

He hums as he travels back into wakefulness.

KB: Hey.

She smiles.

RC: Hi. I had the strangest dream and you were there.

MR: Oh, thank God.

AC: Hey Dad.

RC: And you were there and you were there.

They grab is hand.

Pi: Hey Mr. C. I did some healing reiki on you. Looks like it worked.

RC: (dryly) And you were there.

(I love Pi. Lives in amsterdam where shrooms & weed are legal, lived in costa rica & went home with Alexis even tho he doesn't have a passport, later on becomes a bee counting biologist or smth, lights up sage, practices reiki, he is a very culturally learned man.)

Ooh th emusic djfksldfsdkjflskjd

Beckett chill, it's like when you let drug dealers off the hook bc they help with your murder investigation. You do that all the time.

That's what partners do <3 <3 <3

I think I got some clips from this one...

#castle 6x2 quote #castle 6x2 spoilers #castle 6x2 #the valkyrie/dreamworld episodes

[facceshopping]

u guys don’t care but i need to organize my thoughts on new lana album

white dress- this one is soooo gorgeous and i really love the sped up line in the second part of the chorus although some ppl will probably hate it. also the little hum she does after she says “i felt seen” was so beautiful. love the higher register here. also “kinda makes me feel.. like maybe i was better off” didn’t make me CRY but i did tear up. wasnt crazy about the verses at first but the weird interval at the beginning grew on me. also pretty sure one of the sounds in the production is lana ripping a juul, someone tell me if u agree

chemtrails- this was already one of my fave songs recently and i think it’s even better within the album. career highlight material. she was crazy for this one. wish she included the vocalization from the outro that gets used in the video though.

tulsa jesus freak- one of my new fave lana songs and my immediate favorite on this album. the autotune they put on her throughout this track gives it such a unique quality that interacts w the melodies so well and the VOCODER at the end??? she surgically removed charli’s bob w that one. love the line “you should come back to our place baby, don’t be afraid of our love” the talking layered over the outro is one of several rly cool production touches. lyrics give me religious cult type of vibes so ofc it’s my favorite

let me love you like a woman- i thought this was mid when it got released and it’s still one of my least faves on the album but it’s grown a little. vocals in the bridge are great. i think my main issue is with the melody in the chorus, it just doesn’t do it for me. love love love when the words “want” and “need” overlap in the second verse

wild at heart- this one is also one of my favorites. she does that thing again in the second verse where she speeds up a line & keeps the rhythmic scheme pretty loose which i really like and find really expressive. harmonies towards the end are divine and the melody in the chorus feels like a classic. my one question: did she say “insta thots” in the first verse shdknsosneidixj it might have been “dots” but i’m not sure what that means. also this pretty heavily samples how to disappear from NFR which i think is neat

dark but just a game- YESSSSSSS this is such a serve the minor key ultraviolence type beat in the chorus juxtaposed with the bright 60s kind of beatles sounding harmonies in the chorus is SO cool. it’s like the verses are the dark and the chorus is the game. “no rose left on the vines” lana sees the power of fame and toys with it because it doesn’t scare her! what to others is an all consuming state of being is to her simply a game!!

not all who wander are lost- this is definitely my least fave on the album. not a bad song but definitely not as good as the others on here. the invocation of the word wanderlust had me rolling my eyes a little but in an affectionate way. i’m probably too irony poisoned for this song. i like the opening line “i’ve been wearing the same damn clothes for three damn days” though

yosemite- to me this song feels like the last one before the third act of the album and i rly like how it connects to earlier in the album (“no more candle in the wind” from tulsa jesus freak (and also mariners apartment complex now that i think abt it)) and later in the album (“we did it for free”) the chorus is really good and the spoken word interlude in the bridge is one of my fave moments on the album. love how she says “television static” also listen for that distinctive rick nowels million dollar man sound effect

breaking up slowly- probably the most traditional & familiar track on here but god does it hit. nikki lane is a great presence on here (even though i thought she was miley cyrus at first LMFAO) it’s short and sweet & the harmonies in the chorus that nikki and lana do together are really great especially when they say “don’t send me flowers.” nikki’s second verse EATS. “are these my good years or do i have none? / are there really good years for everyone?”

dance till we die- not one of my faves but still really good. the invocation of all these older women who r all musical legends definitely highlights how lana has kind of ascended to that plane. the BRIDGE however is a really pleasant surprise! i saw someone say she’s kind of giving alanis morrisette on the bridge and i agree. “court almost burnt down my home” is she talking about courtney love. please tell me she’s talking about courtney love

for free- one of her best covers for sure!! zella day sounds a lot like lana on the first verse, but weyes blood on the third verse is transcendent i love her. this being at the end rly drives home what i was talking about in the last track of lana kind of becoming one of those legendary figures. harmonies all the way through are insanely good

overall: one of her best albums for sure, i feel like it may be number 3 for me but that changes a lot. was worried this was gonna sound too much like NFR but she definitely carved out a specific sound for this one. really folky but with some light beats throughout which works for me & suits her voice & writing well. i will develop a full take on what this album MEANS as i listen to it more but for now i rly dig the themes she gets into here. her best vocals in a while (maybe ever) and maybe her most genuinely personal stuff as opposed to the embellishment & romanticization of her earlier stuff (which i love obviously don’t get it twisted) i called in sick to listen to this and didn’t regret it at all

#lana del rey #chemtrails over the country club

[studylustre]

It’s anon who wants to quit social media!! Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. And what makes me insecure is they have lots of followers, likes, retweets, friends, etc that they talk to on twitter and even on insta. It makes me feel like a loser that does not have a life both online and offline. I have 2 people from school who I somtimes text (for school stuff only) and that’s the only interaction I have with people who arent family.

i think it’s v important to remember what you see on social media just a highlight reel though. like ?? none of it is real?? some of it is but the majority of content you see is somewhat constructed (even the pretty studyblr pics !! like no one actually studies super aesthetically all the time ahskfjkd) and the likes and followers are just... numbers. none of it rly means much? this isn’t to say you can’t make a difference with your platform if you have a big following bc that’s a whole different discussion all together, but in terms of like followers and likes relating to how popular you are and how together your life is, none of that means anything?? don’t pay too much attention to the numbers bc they’re just that. numbers.

#answered

[swordkind]

thats,,, so many fancy pens,,, i have some fine 'marker' things someone got me and for lettering i use either those or occasionally papermate inkjoy pens (but they have to stay and dry for like a day before i can erase the pencil underneath which i hate) and i have some mildliners i also use for school theyre so nice!! occasionally i use these metalic markers from like target or smth i dont even dream of buying tombows or smth (i spend too much at the used bookstore). i do have two pretty nice fountain pens!! theres a medium and a fine but i write t i n y so even the fine is a little too thick at times i mostly use these cat pens my gf gave me a few of theyre like plastic i dont think theyre fancy at all but theyre so fine and smooth to write with?? hhh lovely and theyre nice colors and they have cute little cat faces!! i also have some stadetler (? idk how to spell that) triplus fineliners but theyre kinda dried out and the tips are a bit flattened (and i lost my favorite bright green one a few years ago :( it was the best one) anyway i love pens also and this was not meant to be so long ((ps: i have this like $8 bujo its yellow the brand is like taotree or smth and its so nice i use it for a planner so if youre looking for a cheap one its rly nice to use you can barely see my markers through it)

okay i typed out a whole massive response to u and then my laptop shut down so lets try again!!

hhmggm,,,,yeah,,,i,,,have so many pens hhsdkfsdkfdfgdfgn its terrible (i... may or may not have gotten even more today...) but honestly? none of them were super posh or expensive? the tombow dual tips were probably the biggest investment i’ve made (except for like. paper hsdfn) they’re like $30 off the shelf which is yeah a bit pricey but i got mine on black friday sale + w/ another 40% off coupon so they only came to abt $10 i think? michaels/ac moores usually has rlly good sales so i. would recommend taking advantage of them bc honestly they are the best markers i’ve used they are well worth it; the colors are excellent, the brush tips don’t wear out, they are a delight (but yea deffos try and get em while theres a sale goin on or 50% off coupon or smth). also the tombow fudenosuke brush pens are genuinely the best thing i’ve bought they are dirt cheap considering calligraphy pen prices ($5 or so for a set of two hardnesses) and they are. Really good probably some of the best affordable brush pens u can get they somehow manage to be fancy and cool but still inexpensive enough that i can get several sets to lose lol. they make brush lettering SO easy honestly. yeah hsdfsdfgdfgn. the microns,,,,,yeah they are,,,,fancy,,,and,,,terribly expensive,,, i have awful indulgent tastes and i have to have rlly fine tip pens for writing tho and micron makes the only consistently good quality fine tip pens that don’t break and go thick (literally i use an 005 tip hsdfsdfn) that i have found :-/ . also like, they don’t fade when u erase over them which is. a godsend tbh.

ooh midliners!!! i confess... i do not have a Single midliner... 😔 they always look rlly nice but they are never on my priority list smh but. sometime i will!!! they look rlly good for school stuff tho? like highlighting? the colors look SUPER nice i love the idea of highlighters in less... abrasive neon colors gsdnfsdgfng

oohh metallic is good!!! honestly i. genuinely. do. not have any metallic ones either im!! literally i keep meaning to get a good gold/silver one but i never get to it!! i had rlly nice silver + gold + white paint pens a bit ago but uh. one by one they decided to disembowel themselves, sometimes on my notebook in the middle of class -_- so. that. is my sad story w metallic ones gskdfdfng. (also i find it hard to find ones i rlly like? the gold always seems too dark, yk?) YESSS fountain pen SUPREMACY you are a gentlethem of GREAT taste and discernment (ough yea ikr tho they are just. almost thin enough but never quite.) omg i know those cat pens i think!!!! i was finna get some the other day!!! they are SO cute ahhh!!!! i think i had a totoro one (or similar one) a while back and yeah i know exactly what ur saying there is just. something abt the way they write that is. so good ;-; ooh what do u think of the staedtlers?? i’ve been eyeing em for a while but idk how fine they are/if i’d use the bright colors enough to make it worth it :/ but yeah!!! pens are!!!! really good!!!! hshdfsdnfne!!! (:O pen,,,,ur name,,,,,iM ::O eureka moment,,) 

(ahh tyy!!!! i’ve been looking for a new bujo and i hate doing it online b/c u can never tell whether the paper will bleed or not :( tyy!!!!!!)(hhhh this is already Very long but!! if u are looking for Good Paper!! i rlly rlly recommend rhodia brand paper? its kinda pricey, $9-12 (american) for a pad of 80 sheets or so but honestly it’s. SO good it’s rlly smooth and like, thin, but nothing ever bleeds thru , even fountain pen. it also holds colors WAY better than normal paper it makes the colors like 10 times more vibrant and it’ll never blur ur ink and make it smudgy it’s definitely definitely worth it i can’t say enough good things abt it. literally it will make ur lettering exponentially better)(also if u get the dot grid ones, the dots r like, light grey instead of Black and they’re v subtle v good) so!!! yeah!!!! that was long but!!! pens!!! :DD

#srry this took so long to answer!!!! #actually i literally. just got two more pens today smhhh but they r rlly good #ty for the ask!!!! #long post

[lanasaved]

sssslithers onto the scene like nagini.... hlo! i’m nai n i’m rly excited to finally return 2 rp. uni is officially Over n i’m living bk at home nw so i actually hav free time again to write. c’est une.... how do u say.... Miracle! some of u might b familiar w lana already bt if not u can find out mre abt her under the cut n feel free 2 like this or hmu fr plots!!!

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

CIS-FEMALE — ever hear people say LANA JAMESON looks a lot like KRISTINE FROSETH? I think SHE is about 22, so it doesn’t really work. The DANCE major is a JUNIOR that is from ALBANY, NEW YORK. They can be + VIVACIOUS, but they can also be - IRRESPONSIBLE. I think LANA might be SHEEP. They are living in BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

ic im sayin she jst got bk from going abroad w louis, this kind of sleazy older man tht manages the camgirls on the website lana works fr. he calls himself a “big exec” at “the company” n mkes it all sound a lot more professional than it is. he also owns this big house w all these different rooms/settings fr the girls to film different kinds of scenes in n is looked up by a lot of ppl bt when asked why they look up to him, nobody ever rly seems to have an answer. jst...a shady figure. lana kind of.... went off the deep end lst semester n ended up deferring her next one after missing her big graded ballet recital. it’s a whole big mess n she’s wearin horse blinders to it. truly jst.... goin on holiday to ignore hw much she’s fuckin things up at school. queen of burying her head in the sand!

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

#livingintro #inhales fr ten minutes to muster the breath necessary to add al these tws #rape tw #statutory rape tw #only brief / touched on / not explored in detail bt stil! #abuse tw #ptsd tw #hospitalisation tw #hypersexuality tw #addiction tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw

[kendrixtermina]

You know what? My father was a total creep

There was never any improper touching or wrongful situations, he was just vaguely creepy. 

He made weirdly sexual comments or insults, demanded physical affection especially after arguments with my mother, took me to places to show off in ways inconsistent with his usual “conservative control freak” and made creepy comments like “why would you pierce your ars they are so perfect, your mother had them so perfect but she got them pierced”

Later came the whole slew of sexualizing insults, like how he imagined particular body parts were smelly or how I would never get laid(he actually said that, at leeast twice), call me a slut or untractive, forbid me harmless things which he clearly found unattractive (You wont believe the hell he raised over the idea of earrings or highlights)

. I mean, I read an article once about how comments like that are often sexual in nature “you make me have bad thoughts so0 youre bad” especially if it picks up around puberty

thankfully it seems to have been just me and never my sisters, maybe its narcicissm because I look like him or because I always had a big vocabulary for my age, or it was merely to humiliate him because i had the naivete to actually call him on his bull 

Even mom said stuff like how she kept having to remind him he had other children because he always thought of things to rope me into and was just creepily obsessed with me. Note that she said this in response to me feeling like he hated me most of all because he focussed his controlling and criticizing on me (at least until sister #2 hit puberty) 

She saw it as ordinary favoritism and thought it would make me forgive him - It just made me madder, I LOVE my siblings and believe that you shouldn’t turn a blind eye to injustice just because its convenient, though I did not admit it to myself at that time, because it felt creepy and violating

As much as I hated and blamed him and felt awful in these situations, and as much as none of this is really a serious or dramatic accusation (Nothing jail-worthy or huge here hes simply creepy and a jerk, what else is new) never really admitted this to myself because it seemed too ludicrous an accusation

I guess ive become sufficiently independent and un-twisted to trust my judgement on this. 

not a surprise, he was kinda stalkey with mom and says degrading stuff about women all the time, i already hated his guts for all the emotional and physical abuse

its not like it rly matters, no need to repress it if i havent spoken to him in years and have nothing to fear, cash might be tight rn but in a few months ill have time & qualification to get working, and next year ill have my degree. 

#abusive parents #feelings

[jeonfinite]

end of the year fic meme

total number of completed stories: 5 total word count: 51225

Overall Thoughts Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I wrote way more than I predicted bc I never thought I’d produce fic at all, but I actually published a oneshot or chapter at least once a month since june. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I would’ve never guessed I would become 100% certified jinkook trash this yr and would’ve laughed in your face if you told me otherwise lmao. I didn’t even know who jungkook was until feb!! in fact despite always having a soft spot for bts and following all of their music releases I was like actually ‘I don’t think I’ll ever truly stan them’ lmfao. my life is a joke. What’s your own favorite story of the year? forever yours. it’s basically everything I ever want to happen in a fic. seokjin as an academy award winning actor? jinkook writing a song together? jinkook going on cute dates and continually supporting the other as they fall deeper in love? ugh my heart. the idea is so dear to me and it’s my baby. and even tho bangtan disbanded in the fic, they all found their own success and they’re rly close friends. I fucking love the ending too omg. I did my best to make it rly gratifying and make up for all the stuff jungkook went through earlier. plus I love fics based on idol/band verse, canon/divergence/future fic and I liked weaving in canon elements to it. it makes it feel more real imo.

Did you take any writing risks this year? uh, not rly? other than writing and publishing my first fic ever. and I guess actually shading big hit/bang pd lmao. as far as I know of, no one has done that before? and multiple ppl have called me brave for doing so lol. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

to try to write longer fics I guess. there’s this 10k fic I’ve been planning forever but still haven’t gotten around to even tho I kept meaning to write it next lol.

From my past year of writing what was… My best story of this year: definitely forever yours. honestly sometimes I feel like it’s my peak lmfao. like I will never able to match some of those descriptions ever again. whenever I’m struggling to write something and I go back to it I’m like HOW DID I WRITE THIS?? and when ppl tell me I’ve made them cry and laugh omg. I almost don’t believe it. I don’t think any of my fics have elicited such a reaction and I think it’s the one that affected me most. I hurt my own non existent heart. My most popular story of this year: forever yours lmao. not only does it have the most hits/kudos/comment/bookmarks, but it’s the fic I most often see ppl reccing, screaming about, and quoting on twitter. I love it tho. pls continue screaming about it and @ me!! The story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: lights go on again. it’s gotten the least attention of all my fics so far. idk if it’s bc ppl are sick of me already or if I rly offended that many ppl by insulting their precious bang pd oppa lmao. also yo where all the jin stans at? I thought at least they’d appreciate its contents lmao.

but also rollin’ the deep bc I actually like that one a lot now and it’s the second least popular lol. but it’s on par with light me up and I expected that based on the content. ofc the fics with jin winning an oscar and shitting on the mother/son trope would gain the most traction so I’m not surprised. The most fun story to write:

us against the world! the idea of everyone hitting on jin and jungkook getting jealous was too good to pass up. I had so much fun writing taehyung’s scene omfg. I actually started it with it lmfao and it seems like most ppl agree. hoseok’s always makes me laugh and ngl I feel like a genius whenever I reread that fic lol. :’) definitely my peak humor and probably the funniest/crackiest thing I’ll ever write.

Story with single sweetest moment?

it’s a tie with forever yours’ birthday scene and light me up’s christmas decorations. but overall rollin’ the deep made me melt the most with how overwhelming sweet it was. I live for soft sweet jinkook doing grossly romantic things for each other ok. The story with the single sexiest moment:

jungkook wearing lingerie in light me up, definitely :x tho the smut scene in forever yours is infinitely better imo. I will unfortunately never able to write a smut scene that good again but I think it’s the intimacy of the moment and the way it’s written that makes it so special, hence why I like it so much. The most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

idk? me attempting smut even tho I’m terrible at it? quoting myself I actually said “writing sex is honestly so hard already I would never waste my time writing it just for the sake of it if it didn’t have any meaning” yet the smut in light me up was the first scene I started writing. I am a goddamn hypocrite lol. but it’s sth I thought I’d never be able to write bc a few years ago I would get so embarrassed by the idea and would want to throw myself off a cliff at the thought lol. The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

none of them rly. I just write jinkook like I how see them. their interactions just come so naturally to me that it’s one of the easiest and most fun things to write in my fics. The hardest story to write: honestly… light me up. all my fics get rly hard to write one point and I always start off hating the first drafts bc they’re complete garbage but I fucking suffered the most writing that one. literally took fucking forever to wrangle the sex scene into what it was. it was hot ass fragmented mess that I had to slowly unravel and reorganize one sentence at a time. I didn’t even want to look at it bc it was so bad lol. and two of the most pivotal points; the lights  and lingerie were awful at first so I struggled to make them good enough to rly stand out and to a standard I was pleased with. and transitioning the first scene into the second one where jinkook kiss under the snowfall and the ending were fucking hell too. you can ask kaleidotears, I was bitching to her the entire time lmao. albeit vaguely bc I didn’t want to spoil anything. I started a month in advance bc it usually takes me that long to produce something and as the date approached closer I was lowkey panicking and almost thought I wouldn’t make it lol. The biggest disappointment:

lights go on again. not only is the reception lackluster compared to my other fics, but it’s honestly the weakest thing I’ve written so far. I’m seriously considering orphaning it but idk :( The biggest surprise: idk. I was honestly fucking shellshocked when us against the world got over 1000 hits in less than 24 hrs tho. I never expected that kind of reaction, especially for my very first ever fic. I honestly thought no one would want to read my fics lol. but also when ppl say I’m their favorite or one of their favorite authors?? like in what in the hell. I consider myself an amateur bc I have never written consistently before in my life. I’m new to the whole fic writing scene. I’ve actually spent the majority of my life hating my writing lmao. or when ppl praise things I think I’m shit at lol. I also like rollin’ in the deep a lot more than I thought I would considering it was just a dumb fluff piece to satisfy my thirst. I wrote the first 1300 words in a waiting room and I was like I don’t have to make this perfect bc it’s stupid fluff but I legit melted writing it. oh and publishing the first chapter of forever yours in two weeks after my first fic. how in the hell did I ever write 9k that quickly I will unfortunately never able to do that again.

The most unintentionally telling story:

I’m not sure what this even means? a lot of myself does bleed into my stories I think. like even if the mood varies depending on the scene I feel like my voice carries through? they just sound like me and it’s something that can’t be repicated lol. like my fics have a shit ton of cussing which is part of it lmao. but also sometimes I give jinkook aspects of myself like seokjin doing aegyo and being clingy when drunk (which is actually real omfg I’m a genius sorry) and jungkook not realizing when other ppl like him. also by reading my fics you can tell which groups I stan, what foods I like, etc. and ofc when I start waxing poetic about their looks or voices or talents that’s all me lol. Highlights + Wrap-up Favorite Opening Line(s): “And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to… Kim Seokjin!” — forever yours; ch1 twenty four

The world is fucking taunting Jungkook.— forever yours; ch2 fiction

Jungkook feels sick. Bile mounts up his throat; it tastes like bitterness, hurt, betrayal, anger, resentment, and heartbreak, flowing through him in chaotic discord. His voice breaks underneath the staggering weight. — forever yours; ch3 smile, again

they’re all from forever yours lmao. the first one is for very obvious reasons but the other two I find the most riveting. I tend to start my fics with dialogue or with “seokjin/jungkook …” bc I’m so creative lol Favorite Closing Line(s): they lose themselves in each other until the world fades till there’s nothing but seokjin and jungkook, just their mouths and bodies and hearts uniting into one against the world. — us against the world

I’m forever yours. — forever yours

I like connecting the endings to my titles clearly lmao. but those endings are the strongest and the ones  I’m most proud of. the other ones are all kind of similar and end with jinkook in a bed saying I love you haha. Favorite 5 10 Lines from Anywhere:

it’s relatively quiet outside and the weather is beautiful; the clear, azure skies provide an obstructed pathway for the gleaming sunshine to burn the foliage in a palette of fiery crimsons, rich golds, and vibrant oranges. the oppressive summer heat has finally faded into a cool, refreshing breeze with the advent of autumn. seokjin tugs jungkook into his side for a surge of warmth as they amble towards the car, the crisp air nipping at their skin, rustling through his bunny ears, and fallen leaves crunching beneath their feet. — rollin’ in the deep

Snowfall blankets the landscape like an instagram filter, casting a creamy, dreamy lighting over the scenery. It looks like they stepped into a fairytale. — light me up

Jungkook hums sweetly, toying with the strands of hair behind Seokjin’s nape. The melody is so soft and sweet like a souffle that Seokjin wants to devour it—so he does, capturing Jungkook’s lips and licking the inside of his mouth. — light me up

The parade marches through as they eat, a symphony of prismatic floats and musical instruments decorating Main Street with whimsy. Seokjin sways alongside the music and Jungkook joins him, their bubbling giggles adding another layer of sound to the percussion. — forever yours

Seokjin is so beautiful but he’s never been more gorgeous than when his chiseled, naked body and pink strands glisten with sweat while thrusting deeply into Jungkook, dark eyes smouldering with lust and headiness, handsome face contorted in concentration intent on pleasuring Jungkook, and plush, pretty, pink mouth falling open as melodic sounds escape his lips, sweeter than his blessed high notes. It’s too much for Jungkook. — forever yours

“You’re gorgeous. My beautiful baby boy. Sweet marshmallow bunny.” — light me up

the bright white of the headband contrasts with his dark hair, haloing a soft crown of light around him, and coupled with the afterglow of his orgasm, he looks angelic. seokjin tells him as much and he flushes a pretty pink, a perfect complement to his ivory rabbit ears. — rollin’ in the deep

jungkook licks his lips as they stroll past a lone vendor selling hotteok, and when seokjin kisses him, cornering him in the enshrouding, secluded thicket of maple trees, seokjin tastes sweet like brown sugar, like cinnamon, like the warming comfort of fall spices and home-baked treats. — rollin’ in the deep

It’s empty this late at night, their only company being the summer breeze rustling through their clothes and the mild rippling of the waves. The water glitters beautifully underneath the stars in the darkness but it pales in comparison to the way the moonlight dances off Seokjin’s freshly dyed pastel hair to illuminate his gorgeous features. He looks magical, bright eyes sparkling and pink strands shimmering. — forever yours

The kiss is everything Jungkook dreamed and fantasized about but beyond his imagination. Seokjin tastes like coffee and chocolate and cream, their dessert lingering on his tongue, and Jungkook licks up every last morsel of flavor. He can’t get enough; Seokjin is so sweet and soft and warm against him like a freshly baked cake. He’s addicted. He wants more. — forever yours

also the iconic:

“Fuck PDogg hyung and Bang PD hyung” — forever yours

you know what this is too fucking hard. I’ll do a separate post with my top 5 lines from each fic. these are just 10 lines I’m particularly fond of and rly wanted to highlight bc no one else has.

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

1. JUNGKOOK WEARING LINGERIE AND BUNNY EARS but particularly the part with jungkook sitting on seokjin’s lap growling he’s sexy and seokjin laughing at him for being adorable. literally if my drawing skills were good enough and I had a tablet I would fucking illustrate this myself

2. seokjin gifting jungkook diamond studs on the balcony underneath fairy lights and the seoul night sky

3. jinkook kissing under the snowfall and surrounded by christmas lighting + decorations

4. jinkook holding hands while walking outside in the fall foliage and seokjin kissing jungkook in a thicket of maple trees

5. JINKOOK PERFORMING THEIR FUCKING DUET AT JUNGKOOK’S SOLO CONCERT

+ bonus sakura petals swirling around seokjin with seokjin cornering jungkook against a tree to swipe stray ice cream off his lips and licking it off his thumb and watching the fireworks at disneyland with seokjin’s head nestled onto jungkook’s shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist.

Fic-writing goals for 2018: to finally write the ideas on my ever growing list. my last three were completely unplanned and were random spur of the moments. but I wanted to write something for jin’s bday. I could’ve written something short from my list but I wanted to do christmas lights and jungkook in lingerie so :x also to take my sweetass time until I’m perfectly happy with everything before publishing and not rushing out fics anymore. I’ve learned that when I try to write something as fast as possible for others—it goes wholly unappreciated like the last chapter of forever yours and light me up. like half of the original commenters disappeared despite finally getting the happy ending they cried for and being so excited for the fic? lol idk what happened but there’s no way I could’ve messed up the last chapter that badly… but yeah it’s just not worth the stress lmao. ppl just don’t understand the effort, time, and pain it goes into producing something.

#jinkook #writing #meme

[hoodwinkedtoohoodvsevil]

OKAY i have so much to say about dm3 so here’s my #Thoughts (spoilers) IT’S REALLY REALLY LONG

tl;dr i loved it bc of course i did but if you want my spicy feelse it’s below the cut

OKAY i’m basically doin this off the cuff scene by scene from memory (i’ve seen it twice) but also touching on just. aspects of the movie as i think of them.

i’m gonna start by saying what everyone knows but idc i’ll say it until the end of time: I LOVE FELONIUS GRU SO MUCH OHHH MY GOD HIS EXISTENCE MAKES MY LIFE GOOD

ALSO!!!! RLY MAD AT THE MARKETING OF THIS MOVIE BC IT COMPLETELY /LIES/ ABOUT GRU’S INTENTIONS!!! HE HAS NO INTENTIONS OF GOING BACK TO VILLAINY AT ALL THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE HIS ENTIRE PLAN IS TO STEAL THE DIAMOND BACK FROM BALTHAZAR TO GET HIS+LUCY’S JOBS BACK SO BASICALLY GRU IS PERFECT 

oky so i thought the movie was RLY GOOD it basically does everything good that the first two movies do. the girls are in this more than 2 which is a big improvement. 2 may always be my favorite just bc it’s mostly abt grucy but 2 has the biggest flaw of them all (it’s fuckin racist as hell) so at least dm3 isn’t as...flawed.

it’s main problem is that it’s got a looot goin on, which is kinda common for sequels (especially third movies onward) bc they gotta give existing characters that everyone knows/likes plots/development while also establishing/developing new characters. i don’t really mind this so much bc i like all the characters in this movie a lot. i do like some plots/subplots more than others but i personally was never like. overwhelmed. the only subplot i didn’t rly care about was the minions one but i’ll talk abt that later. it’s not terrible tho.

MY main problem (basically the only thing that bothers me when i watch the movie) is how soooo fast paced it is. like, i get that the other movies kind of are too, but i can think of multiple parts of this movie where it just would’ve been better to just. let stuff sit? like okay, i have some examples that i’ll address when i get to them.

okay actually goin scene by scene now

first scene is good it’s basically just the first trailer but longer. i’ve said this before but i had the clownfish part it’s the worst part of the whole movie. but at least it’s only like two seconds. agents grucy is still my reason for existence and i’m kinda salty they never called back to that but i’m still blessed. balthazar is honestly so fuckin funny and Truthfully i liked the part when he blasts (naked) gru away with his keytar way better in the actual movie than in the trailer bc playing jump by van halen during that part was fucking HYSTERICAL.

gru...is so fucking funny and extra. “i don’t want to waste another breath on him. AND ANOTHER THING!!!” honey please chill. also “you’re making me nervous” BABY NO

okaaay buuuuuut the scene after they get fired slays me. “honey, you didn’t have to do that, i know how much you love your job” “well, there are some things i love more” LITERALLY MURDER MY ASS GRUCY IS MY REASON FOR LIVING

also catch my ass overanalyzing what gru says and tracing it back to lucy’s backstory (her parents were killed by supervillains when she was very young for those who don’t spend their free time researching everything about dm canon). she didn’t just love her job bc it was fun, it had significant meaning to her and just. excuse me I’M NOT CRYIN

“we should really tell the girls...can you do it?” girl same

the luau scene isn’t new to me so i don’t have much to say except that I Love My Daughters More Than Life Itself.

OKAY OKAY BUT here’s an example of the too fast paced parts i’m talkin about. when gru tells the girls that he and lucy lost their jobs, i read the jr novel before i saw the movie and i thought that part would be/should’ve been slower. like when he goes “lucy and i were invited to...not work at the avl anymore.” like? it just felt like he’d be a little more hesitant when telling him. just felt like it should’ve had a tiny bit more weight to it.

also “and let’s NOT go to katie’s house anymore.”

listen. i don’t hate the minions catch my ass defending them most of the time but i’m so salty at them in this movie. i get that their purpose is to serve the baddest villain but they’ve been with gru for like 45 YEARS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE FAMILY!!!!! aso gru has been away from villainy for like more than a year so can they just chill please. these minions ain’t loyal.

I KNEW DR. NEFARIO WAS GONNA BE FROZEN IN CARBONITE BC JR NOVEL BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE HE WAS GONNA BE IN THE EXACT SAME POSE AS HAN SOLO SO I LOST MY SHIT. AND WE NEVER SEE HIM GET UNFROZEN SO IS HE LIKE GONE FOREVER? RIP I GUESS

the take on me scene was soooo goddamn funny

lucy comforting gru saved my life. that scene was actually well paced it wasn’t rushed but it didn’t go on longer than it needed to. a+ scene.

i knew from the trailers that agnes was gonna sell her unicorn but i didn’t know she was gonna look so SAD WHEN SHE DID IT THAT DESTROYED ME

uhhh skippin a few scenes bc whatever. stuff we know from trailers. OH OH but “YOU TOLD ME MY DAD DIED OF DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN I WAS BORN” WHAT THE FUUUUUCK I LAUGHED BUT GOD WHY IS SHE SO MEAN

lucy on the plane tryin to engage with the girls. i’m so sad pls just let her feel like a mom.

gru’s private part

the first scene in dru’s house reminded me that illumination’s lighting is always KILLER that scene was so beautifully lit 

DRUUUU INTERACTING WITH THE GIRLS WAS HONESTLY SOOO CUTE?? esp the part with agnes it just felt like genuine kid dialogue. i love. and “SHE’S 12 SHE LOOKS 12 AND SHE WILL ALWAYS BE 12″ oh honey (but same)

OKAY the most bothered i was by the pacing in this movie was when gru was like “lucy can i get a fuckin uhhhh leave i feel like garb” and lucy was like “honey just deal”. that’s another part i read in the jr novel and thought would have more. emotion to it. like it didn’t need to be heavy or anything but i remember feeling really sad when i read gru say “i feel worse than i did when i came here” but in the movie it just kinda flew by? ESPECIALLY bc lucy was immediately like “well, he’s your brother just try to get along with him”. like, okay, you just had a scene of gru venting to lucy about feeling like a failure so you’d think if she found out meeting dru made gru feel worse she’d be like “oh no i’m sorry this isn’t what you were expecting and you feel even worse now” like she doesn’t need to say any of that but even just. a pause and a facial expression can say a lot. just a look of sympathy and then trying to cheer him up or be more optimistic like “well he is your brother and you were so excited to meet him and you only just met like you might eventually be glad you did this” that kinda thing. it was just sooo rushed it felt like nothing when it should’ve felt like Something bc lucy knows gru’s been feeling bad and just. a little sympathy would’ve been nice and still could’ve led to the same conclusion. but shit we gotta save time for the minions musical number i guess.

speaking of that i’m just gonna talk about that subplot in one bullet point. it was the one i cared about the least and had nothing to do with anything really. i’ll admit the singing part is kinda funny bc idk what it is but they always have good song choices for when the minions sing. like make em laugh in the minions movie and now modern major general like yeah those are minion songs yknow. and okay it is kinda funny when they’re in prison bc they just IMMEDIATELY show them and they’re like runnin the place. i figured there’d be some kinda transition but nope they get there and they rule the prison. also the first class/coach separation in the plane was funny but i have to wonder what dictates whether a minion ends in first class or coach. but yeah like i said i don’t really caaaaare and i’m salty over the minions leavin gru anyway so fuck em.

OH OH OH BUT THE PART WHERE MEL MISSES GRU AND IS REMEMBERING GOOD TIMES WITH HIM LITERALLY MADE ME CRY GRU IS SUCH AN ANGEL!!!!! THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

okay rest of the movie. god this is so long i’m so sorry but i have SO MUCH TO SAY.

i don’t have much to say abt the scenes with gru and dru except i like them and i like their interactions. i didn’t think i’d like dru as much as i did  tho i do see how people could find him annoying. i guess i’m just like. well i’m lucy and he’s part of my family so yes i love him.

“gettin my sea legs, matey” meeeeeee

SAD LITTLE BOOTS WAS SOOOO FUNNY

BAR NONE THE FUNNIEST AND JUST MOST CHARMING SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE WAS GRU AND DRU PRETENDING TO BE EACH OTHER. everything about that scene gives me life. it was sooo genuine and natural like when they couldn’t keep it up and just burst out laughing. they’re adorable i love my husband and my brother-in-law they’re such children. i just love that it was gru’s idea bc you know when he was thinkin about twin stuff on the plane ride there he was like ‘omg what if we switched places and pretended to be each other to fool ppl omg that’s a twin thing’ but it was so obvious bc kids can get away with that but they’re in their fuckin 50s you fools.

THAT REMINDS ME steve carell was honestly so good in this movie. like he’s always good as gru but he was rly good as dru too like obviously they sounded similar but i was never watching it and thinking “oh this is steve carell talking to himself” like he voiced both characters well and obvs they had different personalities and that rly came through and just. i love you sexy grey hair steve carell.

scene with gru and agnes was so damn pure just. everything i want out of a scene with gru and agnes. thank u illumination for my life.

gonna talk abt the agnes subplot in one bullet point bc there’s not much to it. basically i love my daughter, she’s an angel, and i like that we just. have a goat now. also another animation highlight in the scene where she and edith are in the forest looking for the unicorn. that forest was gorgeous. and again, beautifully lit.

lucy defending margo REPLENISHED MY ELECTROLYTES 

also when she was like “i gotta tell gru!” so precious omg i wish we could’ve seen her tell him about it that would’ve been so cute. 

love the scene of gru and dru sneakin into balthzar’s lair. good stuff. I DIE WHEN DRU WAS FREAKIN OUT IN THE VENT AND GRU WAS LIKE “hey relax :) it’s gonna be fine :) i got your back” I WANTED TO SCREAM WHY IS GRU SO PERFECT

i don’t ship druthazar (sorry dm fandom) but i still leaned over to david when dru was sitting on balthzar’s bed and i whispered “that’s not the last time he was in balthzar’s bed” bc i‘m funny

AND THE BEST PART IS YOU’LL NEVER :) EVER >:( DO ANYTHING BEHIND MY BACK EVER AGAIN >:(( RIGHT HONEYBEAR? :)))

sometimes you want a unicorn. but you just get a goat.

i was ready to declare the part where lucy comes in just loudly singing and then goes “you’ve been a baaad boy gru” and smacks his face my favorite lucy scene in the whole movie but the it was balthazar disguised as lucy and i’ve never felt more betrayed

also how did balthazar perfectly mimic lucy’s voice? when he was disguised as the museum guy it was clearly trey parker doing another south park voice but WHATEVER

while i’m thinkin abt it trey parker was fine as balthazar i guess like he was funny but i used to watch a looot of south park so i would so often just her the south park in his voice and i was like Alright

THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE MURDERED MY ASS!!!!! i looooove this movie’s climax it’s easily the best of the dm franchise. i never wanted to murder balthazar with my bare hands more than when he left the girls for dead and tried to kill an unconscious gru with a giant lazer. i was SHOOKETH. lucy jumpin across the giant bubble gum...balls or whatever to save the girls was the BEST SHIT. dru saving gru was so good i’m so proud of him...love my brother-in-law. and the dance fight with gru and balthazar SAVED!!! CINEMA!!! i was screamin oh my god..i know y’all know i love gru with everything i am but y’all he’s SO GOOD IN THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE

as lucy wilde, i can confirm that after i ran up and hugged gru i was covering his face with red lipstick and also being like “balthazar’s dead right? like not just caught, fucking DEAD? RIGHT??” he either lied to assuage me or I Found A Way

AGNES SAYING “love you mom” TO LUCY AND LUCY BEING LIKE “i’m a mom!!” KILLED WHATEVER WAS LEFT OF MY SOUL!!!!!

tho tho tho i’m still UPSET that the girls call gru by his name and not dad...like you gonna call lucy mom WHEN U GONNA CALL GRU DAD I’M GASPING FOR AIR

lucy was very dtf at the end she was like gru say good night to your brother and let’s go FUCK (and then dru had to go and interrupt it smh)

i was like UMMMMM at first when watching the very last scene but then when i saw how gru and lucy reacted to it i was like okay i accept this. he better have just been staying temporarily at their house and going back to freedonia soon tho bc i don’t think lucy would like the idea of a supervillain living her house.

gru n lucy gettin ready to go in for the kill. love it. love them forever.

trey parker’s singing in hug me (the credits song) sounds too much like andy partridge of xtc and like 0 people reading this (if anyone’s still reading oh my god) are gonna know what i’m talking about but it makes it quite the Experience whenever i listen to it

speaking of this is the best soundtrack out of dm 1-3 i’ve been listening to it the whole time writing this

SO IN SUMMARY hi i’m lucy wilde, and my husband and daughters are absolutely everything to me. as a viewer balthazar is the most entertaining dm villain bar none (overkills excluded obvs), but as lucy wilde i hope he fucking dies for trying to kill my family. dru is a good brother-in-law and is also a gay icon. this movie came out in pride month for a reason. dru (a gay male) and lucy (a pan woman) are true mlm/wlw solidarity.

i’m fuckin.

i love.

#artie.txt #this is so...so long #i spent so long on this #i have many words #and they're mostly positive bc i'm EASY #dm #dm3

[anmousewrites]

Endless Waltz Rewatch and Review

I promised I would, so here it is. Like the other one, this one is going to have notes taken throughout because that way I can make sure I’ve covered everything.

The opening is always a little wonky. The stuff about the 13th constellation etc etc etc doesn’t make sense without background that we’re not given. In short, there’s whispers of a new mobile suit model. That’s really the easiest way to sum it up. 

Also, even young me used to side-eye the scene with Releena and the colony leaders. It STILL comes off as being way more suggestive than it is. 

Mariemeia’s voice acting is still 100% perfect. She’s so off-putting. Love it.

“My father entrusted me with these christmas presents.” okay idek if he’s actually your father at all, though, and if he is, The Audience already knows that can’t be true. Treize dedicated his whole life to The War To End All Wars so why would he do that. You have no idea, you’re ten.  Noin and Sally~ Noin and Sally! So good.

Releena is immedately skeptical of Mariemeia because she’s met Treize and she’s like rly r u for rl It’s glossed over a little but another good line from Duo “If you leave him alone, Quatre is the kind of guy who will take the blame for everything. I wouldn’t be surprised one day if he says his lack of effort is the reason there’s no air in space.” He’s right though.

Duo’s fondness for Deathscythe is so nice, and also the animation for the special edition is... great actually? Everyone’s relationships to their mechs are really interesting. 

I like seeing the backstories. A lot of this stuff is sort of implied in the series but it is nice to see it expanded upon. 

Mariemeia makes her speech and you don’t get to hear Une cursing but Ii can imagine it when she says who she is. No one can call her on that faster than Lady Une.

Showing how Quatre gets Sandrock is neat, but it raises more questions than it answers. I wish they would have done his history with the Maguanac’s instead. I read it in a manga one million years ago, but seeing as I still remember it, well, it sticks with you. 

“I find that I cannot quietly sleep in my grave while Trieze’s spirit is still roaming among us.” Translation: Y’all are slandering by best friend’s name and I will not stand for that shit even if I have to raise myself from the fucking dead. 

Wufei is usually on an opposing side to a lot of the pilots and their ideals and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Too often we default to just believing the heroes, so I think he does a fair job of pointing out that they might be wrong.

okay but when the music picks up when wing zero shows up and heero hops in, so good, rescue me from the nostalgia, everything is great, im die

The romantic relationships are all really low-key in Wing, where they’re hinted at all. There’s enough female characters for het ships, but ya’ll know that wasn’t how we rolled back when the show came out. Heck, for some of them, it’s not how I roll now. The interpersonal relationships in the show (between the pilots, their enemies, and even some civilian characters) are never really talked about but are all very interesting.

 Zechs played dead for a year and showed up again and Noin joins him on the battlefield to a mutual sense of relief. This is how it should be, this is how its always been, they’ve been fighting together since they were at Lake Victoria and nothing feels more natural, more right. Une still asks Treize for advice although she knows he isn’t there to answer. The easy, friendly relationship between Duo and Heero is comfortable and hilarious (who could imagine them being friends at all? but they make it look natural). The quiet understanding that Quatre and Trowa have is never spoken about, but demonstrated consistently though their actions.

I’m a sucker for characters and relationships and Endless Waltz, like the series, nails it.

“Let’s only take the weapons, and war itself, ALONG WITH US TO HELL.” Duo you’re the most quotable person and tbh I’ve quoted this for years. That one and ‘If you’re joking that’s cruel but if you’re being sarcastic that’s even worse.’

“How much longer do those kids intend to retaliate against me?” Dekim did you not pay attention for the last year, none of these people have any chill literally none at all

I love the parallels between Releena and Treize. Same goals, different ways of doing it, but they highlight how much their personalities and their dedication make the difference. Also Hello Dorothy. I’d be happy enough not to see her, but she does show up just to dish out some sick burns. She seems to have her shit together a little better now, and is acting more directly. She’s more likeable for it.

Not that complex characters can’t be likable, but seeing as she was so hard to pin down in the series it was really hard to understand or care about her. 

We see a lot of how Noin, Zechs, Quatre, Trowa and Duo are excellent fighters, not that the series ever let us doubt it. Wufei, for as much as he has the same skills, isn’t in this movie for how good he is in combat, though. He’s here to try and wrap his head around what to make of his life now that the war is over. It’s a struggle that likely Heero and Trowa also face, not to mention everyone left over from OZ, but he’s the one who brings it to the forefront, It’s not a bad role for him.

‘wow this place has like 7 walls it’s gundam proof’

Nothing is gundam proof but esp not beam rifle proof sorry

“See for yourself just how powerless you are.” “Roger that.” Now, he didn’t say ‘fuck you’, but he meant fuck you, you get me? How did Une get in to the locked down building? Who knows. She’s magical. We don’t care. 

“It is not the victor that moves the heart of the people.” Again, GW bringing it home that the war isn’t the point, the people are the point. That’s why Treize was so loved (IS so loved), why Releena is so important, why the gundams are the symbols that they are.

Treize has been dead for a year, but his ideals and his love are so insistent that Dekim is killed by one of his own men in Treize’s name. His decisions might have been awful, but he was one hell of a guy. 

Heero ‘symbolically’ killing Mariemeia makes sense kiiiiind of. Who she was is dead. She’s no longer Mariemeia Kushrenada... she’s Mariemeia Barton, and will be happy to live a gentler existence than the one she was raised in.

“I will never kill anyone ever again. I don’t... have to, anymore.” Coming from the guy whose been killing people since he was a smol, that’s saying something.

The end screen of the gundams shows them all alone EXCEPT Sandrock, who is with the MC. I really like that touch.

The ending shots all show the pilots going their own ways but Young Mouse and Old Mouse agree that they kept in touch. It’s hard when you share that kind of experience with someone to just let them go. No one understands them as well as the other pilots, so although they may not talk all the time, they are never alone. Heero would be the hardest to track down but c’mon he isn’t hiding that hard. 

Okay so, to sum up... Endless Waltz is completely context-less without the show. Its definitely made specifically for fans of it, and that’s okay. But it does mean it can’t just be picked up and watched... you’ll get really confused.  But as for quality, my answer is probably pretty predictable. It’s an old anime, and while Waltz looks slick as fuck for how old it is, you can still catch it in spots. There’s less Naval Gazing here, there’s less time for it, and all the philosophy and politics that are brought up are worth something. Also, we get to see all of our friends again and to get a real ending to their story. Except Treize. Now, my bitterness aside as a fan of his, the fact that he is missing is noticeable. Just like in the show, going through time without him has a strange feeling to it, because his influence is still felt everywhere. 

Waltz gives us some of the best of these characters and distills some of the best of the show. I don’t really have a lot of complaints, as much as I would love to be critical of it. Explosions in space? Explosions underwater? Space Empathy TM? But in the end, none of those things really break the feeling of it. It’s a good adventure, and to this day it makes me glad to have been on it.

#gundam wing #gundam wing endless waltz #anime review #anime rewatch

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

#ty again chim this was fun and ur answers were cute #I was tagged

[lanasaved]

cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!

( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

#water:intro #inhales a deep breath before slappin down these tws #theyr all only briefly touched upon / vague bt! jst to be sure #rape tw #statutory rape tw #abuse tw #ptsd tw #hospitalisation tw #hypersexuality tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #also im literally 2 lazy to finish doin her blog so if u click on the pages n r shocked by the barren findings then i jst. i jst dnt kno #wht to tell u

[rapmonphile]

question tag

tagged by @je0n (ty ty ily ann)

how tall are you? 5’8” or like 173 cm

what color and style is your hair? It’s naturally brown and kinda curly but i straighten it a lot and rn it’s a caramel color with coppery highlights

what color are your eyes? hazel

do you wear glasses or contacts? yes, glasses

what’s your fashion style? for school i usually just wear leggings/shorts and t-shirts but i usually like to wear things like sweaters, flannels, ripped jeans, chokers, birkenstocks, converse … stuff like that

when were you born? ‘98 baby !!

how old are you? 19

do you have siblings? i have a younger sister

what school do you go to? I’m in college

what kind of student are you? i’ve always been a rly good student and it honestly stresses me out if i don’t get straight A’s but also i’m tired and can be rly unmotivated so we’ll see how this plays out

what are your favorite subjects? spanish, geology, and geography

what are your favorite shows? the office (i just started watching it for the first time and jim is about to propose to pam and i think i might die), the facts of life (i love the 80s), that 70s show, the goldbergs, american housewife, project runway, gravity falls, steven universe …. I’m sitcom trash and i guess i don’t rly watch that much tv

what are your favorite movies? anything disney/pixar, esp the incredibles, ratatouille, toy story, monsters university, zootopia, mulan, tangled,,,…. (etc etc), the new tmnt movies (don’t fckin judge me i’ve loved them for years ok), the hp movies, jersey boys, dirty dancing, lemonade mouth (don’t judge me pt 2), gbf, ghostbusters (2016), power rangers (2017), ……,,…. yeah! there are way more but that’s what comes to mind rn

what are your favorite books? ok so i haven’t read that many books lately (which makes me sad but don’t worry! I’ve still been reading fanfics so at least that’s something?/ idk) but .. freakonomics, the phantom tollbooth, harry potter, this one book called “new york” but i can’t remember the author, notes from a big country ,,,.

what are your favorite pastimes? i like to read, do yoga, listen to music, go for walks, journal, and drive (is that weird? I just love driving by myself and blasting music, esp at night and esp in the summer)

do you have any regrets? uh yeah,,, but none that really keep me up at night (i believe everything truly happens for a reason and if it didn’t happen then it wasn’t meant to be)

what is your dream job? i would rly like to be a travel blogger/writer, especially for disney world

would you like to get married? idk…..,,, i’m not super keen on romantic relationships at this stage in my life?? but that may be a phase, who knows. also (this is super weird and idk why i feel this way) i kinda feel like once you get married all the excitement and passion is gone from your relationship?? like i know that isn’t true but that’s just how i feel. but ideally, yes, i guess if i rly found the right person i would want to be married

do you want kids? how many? i rly rly RLY love kids!! and i love spending time with them and caring for them.. but idk if i want kids of my own. idk, i’m so young so i obv don’t have to decide now… but if i do have kids i probably would want like 3 or 4 (i’m also rly into the idea of adopting children)

do you like shopping? yes but only if i’m the person who’s getting things and preferably if i’m not the person paying for it ……,,, mom ily

how many countries have you visited? I’ve only been out of the country once and i went to the bahamas. but my biggest wish is to travel the world, probably with my sister

what was your scariest dream? i don’t typically remember my dreams, but the worst ones are the ones where i wake up crying (usually bc something bad happened to a loved one or to my dog)

do you have enemies? i mean i have people i don’t talk to anymore and people who’ve been cut out of my life but it’s not like we’re actively engaging in evil ploys against each other

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no and i don’t rly want one rn tbh

put your phone on shuffle. post the first 15 songs:

Lucky One - EXO

Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara

24/7 = heaven - BTS

Trap Queen - Fetty Wap (this is so fckign embarrassing oh my god)

Saint Cecilia - Foo Fighters

Cliff’s Edge - Hayley Kiyoko

Dig a Pony - The Beatles

Rocks Off - The Rolling Stones

I Wanna Be Your Lover - Prince

Gotta Be You - One Direction

MAMA - BTS

Life In A Northern Town - The Dream Academy

Rain - BTS

Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Settle Down - The 1975

tagging: ok asdfjd i feel like i literally tag the same 5 people in everything so if you don’t want to do this that’s tooootally fine lmao ,, but i tag:

 @quixoticbubble, @thepreciousandwich, @rainjimin, @ashbaobei, @skyyzi, @chim-jiminie-cricket, and literally anyone else who wants to do this (like seriously,, just say i tagged you and tag me in your post,, i love seeing these)

#i was tagged