#not DID have a wife

[willowser]

touya is halfway through his workday, grease up to his elbows, little jumpsuit half undone down to his waist, when iguchi comes in to tell him "someone's askin' for you out here".

he's not sure who it could be, but there's no telling, so he just decides to take a smoke break and wander out of the automotive garage, maybe imagining one of siblings out on the pavement.

but the minute he sees you, he stops. nearly drops his cigarette on a rough, "oh shit."

it's been a while since he's seen you, a year or two, and the packet of paper in your hand can only mean one, bullshit thing.

"nah, nah, nah, i ain't signing any papers," is how he greets you, shaking his head the minute you start up the path with a big, determined frown. touya doesn't run, but he sure twists on his heel and starts back up the path, too, as you start calling out his name.

practically all of his coworkers are watching when he comes back into view, not bothering to hide how nosy they're being. their audience makes you falter just a tad and touya clings onto it; anything to stop you.

"never a good sign when your wife comes to find you at work."

there's a long silence, from everyone. when he looks back at you—at your manilla folder and carefully stapled documents, your petition for divorce—your eyes are heavy and wet, almost the same way they were when the two of you stood in a courtroom, lying about your age in order to pledge until death do you part.

almost. now they're just sad.

from somewhere in the garage, toga calls out a bewildered, "you have a wife?" that makes him feel a way he can't understand, both amused and devastated all at once.

your wedding ring isn't on your finger, but if he stares long enough, he can maybe see the difference in color of your skin, a former tan-line that's begun to fade.

he sold his for stuff he shouldn't have been buying, stuff that ruined him and you and your marriage, a long time ago.

but touya only smiles, and calls back, "yeah, i do."

#not DID have a wife #not has a wife FOR NOW #he's like. yes I DO HAVE A WIFE AND WILL UNTIL I DIE. YES. #idk i just have been loving the idea of childhood friends to lovers touya but he fucks it up along the way #and the two of you never get divorced just kind of linger in limbo while you live separate lives #and when you come to be like. okay let's end this OFFICIALLY bc it's been over for a WHILE NOW #he's like. um absolutely NOT. #LOL he's so stubborn he refuses akfndiska #sorry that this is dog water i hope the idea translates regardless LOL #✿ thoughts: dabi/touya

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

#spitblaze says things #anyway. #1) please google 'halfling' #2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE #3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT* #4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU #5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general #is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik #anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta #im gonna start smashing things #doin numbers

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[purplesound]

I've been hit with undertale nostalgia still can't believe buff fish woman and feminine killer-robot had set my bisexual criteria for my crushes almost 10 years ago

#undertale #undyne #mettaton ex #mettaton #undertale undyne #undertale mettaton #my art #ramble ahead -> #kinda wish I had better drawing skills when ut was at it's peak because I would draw like craaaaaazy #in 2016-2017 I was drawing a lot of ut and damn my skills were shit but at least now I have something to compare my progress to #to this day Undyne and MTT are still peak wife and husband material to me #and I love them dearly for helping me understand my bisexuality <3 #despite drawing them a lot I've never did them justice and finally I drew them how I always wanted to

[bbygirl-paul]

thinking about paul saying "we're harkonnens. so this is how we'll survive. by being harkonnens" and about jessica saying "your father didn't believe in revenge" and paul replying "yeah well i do" and how things can die even as they continue to draw breath and how the harkonnens really did kill off all three of the atreides that night not just leto

#dune really explores every possible way someone can die without actually dying #paul's childhood self dying the night his father did #his atreides heritage dying when he seeks revenge #paul himself dying when he drinks the water of life #jessica the wife dying the night leto did #jessica the mother dying when she drinks the water of life #the girl alia could have been dying in the womb #stilgar and the other fremen dying when they become followers #it's all connected y'all #dune #dune part 1 #dune part one #dune 1 #dune 2021 #dune 2024 #dune part 2 #dune part two #dune 2 #dune movie #dune series #paul atreides #paul #jessica atreides #jessica #lady jessica #muad'dib

[scribbles-ink]

quick doodle

#scribbles' post #scribbles' art #ldshadowlady #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #jizzie #actually obsessed w the fact joel put lizzie's ocean god self in his shrine #i went haha what if he makes lizzie part of the shrine and then he did it #im having so many feels guys #if i had a dollar. for every tike a green themed mcyt whose skin is basically cosplay joined a popular smp and connected his wife to it #by treating her as a goddess. id have two dollars. which isnt a lot but goddamn. weird that it happened twice

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[bizarrelittlemew]

Our Flag Means Death 2x6 | A beautiful name (requested by anon)

#did he have to be so hot in this scene 🫠🫠🫠 #david jenkins really said i'll make rhys as sexy as possible and then put my wife in his arms #oh to have a knife held to my throat by this stede bonnet #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmdedit #ofmdsource #ofmd gifs #ida.stuff #ofmd 2x6 #stede bonnet #hellkat maggie #gif request #UPDATED VERSION

[polinsated]

"the look on his face after he confessed his feelings to her... and he realized he has her" [credit to this tiktok user]

#mygifs* #rikkisdreams #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton 3x04 #colin bridgerton #luke newton #colin x penelope #polin #black and white #mycolouring* #bridgertonedit #polinedit #. #loved this tiktok! #and i just loved the simple way they put it “he realizes he HAS her” #like broooo #he really did go 'okok i Have you now- we must marry immediately' #😩😩 #godddd i wish for everyone who sees this tag to find that person who looks at you the way colin bridgerton looks at his wife 🤘🏻❤️

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

guess the bioterrorist

#ethan winters #mia winters #rose winters #rosemary winters #hint: its not the baby #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #re8 #rebhfun #resident evil #resident evil fanart #i love mia for looking so sweet and lovely while also having commited horrendous crimes #haha yess girlll transport the child bio weapon go get it #meanwhile ethan at home working on his laptop wondering when his awesome wife is coming home #mia defenders please do not come at me #i love mia but shes still did messed up things #and i accept it all #yes mia work with a evil organization it makes u cool #she girlbossed idc

[sualne]

snakeman luffy

#monkey d luffy #one piece #my art #op snake god au #described in alt text #i wuv snake ppl so fucking much you have No idea #when i was a kid a teacher told us a story about a king? whose wife told him he wasnt allowed to look at her when she bathes but he #got curious after a while and looked only to find out she was half snake and he ran away. and!! my whole 7yo self was so confused because #if i had found out my wife was half snake i'd be so happy!! anyway ive been meaning to draw him as a snake for a while now and finally did #it! i wish we had a snaketember the same way we have mermay i'd be so happy fr

[bittersweetyrn]

big fan of essek thelyss, not the fanon interpretation, which is either "smol bean, tiny fragile elf who's a sweetheart and basically a child" or people mistakenly calling betrayal of one's home country a "war crime" and then proceeding to be flippant about it anyway, but the real Essek

pretentious motherfucker that committed treason bc he though he was smarter than everyone else

learned to float literally just to impress other rich people

canonically neutral evil

basically head spymaster of his country and master of lies but sucks shit lying to his friends

stayed bitchy even after his redemption arc

"there is nothing I would love more than to not be around you all for the remainder of this day"

a space wizard that crushed someone with telekenesis just to show off (the person was already dying)

sexy feet, nice ass, overall hottie

fell in love with a traumatized wizard of his enemy country and it was mutual despite all the betrayal

faggot

gave away state secrets to enemy wizard bc he though he was sexy

discovered time travel with his boyfriend

proceeded to say they shouldn't use time travel (bc now he's a good boy) but was willing to sacrifice everything and help if his bf wanted to use it

once confessed he had such a bad fight with his dad that his dad ran into the demon caves and never returned (essek doesn't feel bad about this at all)

young for an elf but still 120 years old, he called his bf "young man" and flexed on him about how much more evil he is

#anytime I imagine him stealing the beacons its set to the music from Sinbad where eris steals the book of peace #the way people say “he's basically a teenager!” to excuse his actual evil acts #characters are evil and its cool #very much “my guy didn't do that! he did a bunch of other shit tho” #he is all these cool things yet unfortunately the dice were never on his side 😔 #I only have the most correct opinions on essek #I literally don't even critrole anymore but he is my bitch ass wife #critical role #essek thelyss #essik theylas #ask me abt my fic series “I sensed we loved each other without knowing”

[torenchao]

m. my beloved. hes having a normal one :)

#volo #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon volo #merchant volo #pla volo #I DONT KNOW HOW I DID THIS AOKAY WHAT THE HEOLL IS GOING ON #I FEEL LIKE I WAS POSSESSED AGAIN #my friend was texting me during it and i was like. having trouble stringing sentences together in my fervour #and when i awoke there was. this #so #COUGHD #possessed by my wife #toren zone

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 138

Danny squints up at the blurry form cradling him, brain trying to catch up with his situation. He can feel the pulse of his siblings’ cores nearby, gently pulsing contentedly despite the chaos of his last memories. His limbs feel too small and pudgy, too-small fingers gripping onto something as his vision started to clear. 

There was a man, holding him? Cradling his too-small form like he was an infant- was he an infant? He was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be, he had been older but now he wasn’t. He squinted up at the stranger, green eyes meeting green. Huh. They kind of looked like he could be their dad or something. 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #league of shadows #Ras gets a trio of infants the first/second time he exits the Lazarus Pits #So very early Ras who semi recently lost his first wife #Phantom siblings are his first kids who keep him semi-sane #As far as Ras is concerned the Pits blessed him with his firstborn sons and daughter #Dusan Nyssa & Talia are grumbling whenever the trio come back home #”Ugh we don’t Want to do Family Time” #”Too bad it’s family time c’mon we brought you all presents” #Danny when Talia brings Jason home: Did you steal a child #Talia: Of course not brother but by chance would you convince Father to let the child stay #Bruce doesn't know about the trio because they were away while he was training with the league #They do know about him though- baby sisters first crush how cute! #Talia where did you get that test tube baby have you informed the other donor- TALIA #“We all know you three are the favorite children” #“No we aren't” #"Danyal you Daig & Eva can literally leave whenever you want as long as you call every week w can barely leave without him being overbearin #Daig means fire/flame #Eva means living & breathing

[bloobluebloo]

Every time I read a post about retiring Ganondorf as the main antagonist I lose a braincell. Should we retire Link as the hero? Why can’t we have a completely unrelated and brand new hero? Everyone talks about Gerudo Link but how about a Gerudo hero that is entirely their own character? How about retiring Zelda as the princess/sacrificial maiden? How about a game that revolves around the Zora monarchy or the Goron tribes?

#I say all these things semi-ironically because we have had games that did not center Hyrule #just like we have had games that don’t have ganon as the villain #why retire him entirely no one talks about any other character like this #how dare they insult my wife #ganonthots

[aq2003]

has anyone gotten the idea that odysseus' storyline in hades 2 is a depiction/exploration of trauma over his SA and how he's blaming himself for things that were out of his control? because that's the impression i'm getting from what i've seen. he talks about "goddesses" as his "greatest weakness" and that "he's not one to say no to them"...

when mel invites him to the bath, he brings up mortals having different standards for intimacy than gods and how it usually has a more romantic/sexual connotation. she then asks if he's uncomfortable and he has a startled reaction and brings up circe and calypso again (but never actually by name)

(this isn't ship/romance bait btw. odysseus knew mel as a kid and they're stated in-game to have a sibling/uncle-niece relationship)

also he grew apart from penelope after his return, but the game makes a point of showing that his love for penelope and telemachus is what drove him on at all so that element of his character isn't brought into question

#i made a post abt it but deleted it bc it was speculating and i don't have the game bc i don't have a pc #but i found more screenshots and now.. i think it's a VERY real possibility they're going in this direction. #circe is in this game also. so i really need to see whether odysseus has any character specific dialogue about her #hard life when you can't even play the game and are hunting down bits of story from other people #hades game tag #hades 2 spoilers #sa mention #hades 2 #hades game #odysseus #penelope #i don't have any hard coping shipper brain on or anything but like. just. thinking about where his character can go given what we know #guaranteed penelope will be in this game too from how much she's brought up. we'll probably meet her on the surface #SO ITS LIKE. story wise. are we going to make a wife forgive her husband for cheating on her #or are we going to make a guy realize him being assaulted wasn't the same thing as him cheating on the love of his life #and i am heavily leaning towards the latter. #it's like if he genuinely did cheat on her and they grew apart what direction would his story go in. #how will us as the player help him in the same way we helped achilles/patroclus or orpheus/eurydice