the jurist system seems really cool i hope they keep using it :-)
27 notes
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "court" me any time
🧊 just--ice Follow
try.
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "try" me any time
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. are you a lawyer. because you can "try" to "court" me any time
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i on trial.
🌈 lawsbian Follow
i'm determined to make this work btw
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. law
🔪 violencekilling Follow
hey girl. are you a murderer. because ow ough ouch agh stop stabbing me
732,390 notes
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
guys watch out hes gonna shelly de kill you
293,485 notes
🎀 copiicat Follow
they called me to the witness stand and the defense attorney just shouted "BOOOOOO WE HATE YOUR PUSSY"
43,618 notes
🧇 edible-evidence Follow
look if i was on trial and the guy prosecuting me started advertising his music i'd just plead guilty. avoid the embarrassment of getting put in prison by a guy who basically used the trial to say "this blew up btw here's my soundcloud"
97,384 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
💞 lawveyourself Follow
didnt miles edgeworth defend someone in a case once
⛲ fountainoftruth Follow
do you know the difference between a prosecutor and a defense attorney
270,934 notes
💟 longingforyou Follow
being rivals isn't enough i need to kiss you
💟 longingforyou Follow
who the fuck is evil magistrate
💟 longingforyou Follow
STOP TAGGING THIS WITH LAWYERS?????
584,769 notes
🐈 nyattorney Follow
they hired a guy to stand in court and shout "GET A ROOM YOU TWO" whenever the lawyers start getting a little too homoerotic
976 notes
💥 courtroomchaos Follow
your honor i know all the evidence points to my client being guilty. but come on you have to admit he kinda ate right
💼 courtofwaw Follow
mia fey when they had phoenix wright on trial
20,475 notes
🔍 thuthseeker Follow
ok hot take but i feel like these lawyers should maybe not be allowed to drag literal children to court with them?? how many people have gotten genuinely actually fucking SHOT in court and they're just ok bringing fucking 8 year olds in?
12,475 notes
💼 courtofwaw Follow
happy almost christmas to all who celebrate
💫 dizzydreamers124 Follow
it's march
🎄 holidazed Follow
happy almost christmas :)
😈 knownjaywalker Follow
WHO is putting this on my dash
👁️ cymorgue Follow
STOP POSTING THIS. IT IS JUNE.
🐼 pandastar91 Follow
ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
1,589,589 notes
💽 platinumcourtrecord Follow
evil gavinners be like. innocent hate. this is a nothing post
19,384 notes
🥚 eggvidenced Follow
STOP asking me about the dl-6 post idc idc look even phoenix wright forged evidence once shut up
📕 lexculpatory Follow
he didn't forge the evidence, though. it was kristoph gavin who ordered the forgery. this was covered in the trial of vera misham. if you're going to try to compare yourself to well known figures, you could at least check the veracity of your claims.
🥚 eggvidenced Follow
yeah well. he might have. on a different case or something.
73 notes
🃏 thecourtjester Follow
i tried to take the bar exam but they didnt let me because i wasnt cunty and traumatized enough
57,384 notes
😇 innosense Follow
683,876 notes
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
when will global studios realize that i do not WANT another shitty steel samurai spinoff i just want the original show back
7,094 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
she present on my evidence til i reach a verdict
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
WRONG BLOLG. DON'T REBLOG THIS. DELETE POST DELETE POST DELETE POST I SWEAR WE'RE PROFESSIONALS HERE
17,283 notes
👑 courtroyals Follow
"we need more great prosecutors" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma
🧊 just--ice Follow
didn't he kill someone?
👑 courtroyals Follow
irrelevant. you guys couldn't handle him.
587 notes
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
law: i'm so law
lawyer, who needs to one up everyone no matter what: i'm more law than you
🏛️ lawyest Follow
hi
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
you've got to be fucking kidding me
183,834 notes
🧊 just--ice Follow
why is it always murders with lawblr. why don't we ever talk about divorce or something
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(ETA: now edited and up on AO3)
Look. Eddie knows he can be a little uptight about these things, but. There are rules. If you become a vampire, you don’t need to go full gothic Count Von Dickhead or whatever, but you absolutely cannot just wander around in a puffy vest and light-wash jeans.
“Why not?” says Steve. He’s leaning back in an armchair, sipping on a bloodbag like it’s a goddamn juicebox. “What, are the vampire police going to arrest me?”
He pauses. “Wait. There aren’t vampire police, are there?”
“No,” says Eddie. “Probably not. I don’t know. But there are standards which you are refusing to uphold, Steven.”
“Thought you were all about hating conformity, Edward,” Steve says. He’s got an obnoxiously cocky little smirk, the smug undead fucker.
Eddie grimaces. “Don’t call me that, asswipe. Don’t you feel, like—the call of the night? The siren song of life coursing through fragile human veins? A hunger for destruction that those paltry plastic bags of blood can never truly slake?”
“The bloodbags aren’t so bad,” says Steve, around the straw. “Better than protein shakes.”
“I actually hate you,” Eddie tells him. “Vampirism is wasted on you.”
Steve noisily slurps the last of the blood out of the bottom of the bag. “Come on, you can’t really picture me in some Dracula getup, can you?”
The problem, of course, is that Eddie really, really can. When Robin had read him in on the whole situation, obviously he’d been horrified and concerned—but also, a whole wing of his brain had immediately been cordoned off to work overtime imagining Steve in elaborate Dark Prince regalia, maybe leaning elegantly out of a castle window on the moors, gazing into the foggy dusk. Velvet might’ve been involved.
“...guess not,” says Eddie. It doesn’t sound incredibly convincing to his own ears, but Steve just shrugs and gets up to throw the bloodbag away.
“There you go, man,” he says, clapping Eddie on the shoulder as he passes. “It’s the 80s. Vampires can be whatever we wanna be.”
———
It gets way too easy to forget about Steve’s condition, until Eddie ends up having to haul him out of a bar in Indy before they get banned for life.
“Simmer down, buddy,” Eddie says, pulling him into the shadow of the van. “Let’s get those fangs packed away before any of the nice villagers wander by with torches and pitchforks.”
“I’m good,” pants Steve. “It’s all good. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”
Eddie lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “Sure, that’s why your eyes are glowing red and you’re, like, fully vamped out. Which, by the way, looks extremely dumb with the whole clean-cut vibe you decided to rock tonight.”
“Fuck you, I look great,” says Steve, pushing a hand through his hair. He’s not wrong, it’s just not relevant to how he also looks extremely dumb like this, wearing a pristine henley with fangs hanging out in the parking lot for anyone to see.
“So what the hell happened in there, man? I was finally starting to get somewhere with Todd, and…” Eddie trails off in dawning realization.
“Holy shit, am I—I’m like your territory, aren’t I? Your stupid vampire brain got all screwy and decided to loop me in with Robin and the kids as part of your freaky human coven.”
“Uh,” says Steve. He looks unhappy in a shifty kind of way. “Something like that, maybe.”
“Wait, so, are Nancy and Jonathan—are you okay with them because they’re both already in the vamp pack? Is Vickie gonna have to be inaugurated before she and Robin can bone down?” Eddie perks up. “Shit, is there a ceremony? We could totally do a ceremony.” He bets he can get the kids to liberate some velour curtains from the drama club. With a few candles, they could get some serious atmosphere going.
“No, shut up, nobody’s doing a damn ceremony,” Steve groans. “Vickie’s fine.”
“Okay,” says Eddie. “So…you gonna tell me what all that was about, then? Do I have to start running guys past you first so your vamp instincts don’t wig out? Or…hm, maybe Argyle’d be down to mess around sometime.”
Steve lets out an actual snarl with weird animal echoes, then claps a hand over his mouth.
“Sorry,” he says, muffled. The shadows around them seem darker somehow.
“So I’m just not allowed to get laid ever again,” says Eddie slowly. “For vampire reasons.”
“Do whatever you want, man.” Steve’s still got his hand pressed tight over his mouth.
“And it’s…just me?” Eddie peers at the tightness around Steve’s eyes; the way he’s scowling stubbornly at his feet. “Huh. Kind of…possessive, Harrington.”
“It’s—weird,” says Steve miserably, dropping his hand at last. “I know it’s fucking weird.”
“Maybe.” Eddie shrugs, biting down on the grin he can feel tugging at his mouth. “Lucky for you, I’m into that shit.”
“What?” Steve frowns. “You’re…”
“Always wanted a vampire boyfriend,” says Eddie. “Like, are you kidding? I would’ve sold my fucking soul at 15 for something like that.”
“I’m starting to feel a little objectified here,” says Steve, but he’s smiling, and he reaches out to snag Eddie’s belt loop and tug him stumbling closer. “Just in it for the fangs, huh?”
“Well, you’re kind of a shitty vampire, actually.” Eddie drapes his arms over Steve’s shoulders. “So I guess I must just be in it for you.”
Steve hesitates, searching Eddie’s face. Stray red lights are still sparking like embers in Steve’s irises. “Okay, but—you’re in it? Right?”
“Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, Bunnicula. I’ll send the vampire police after you, just watch me,” says Eddie, and kisses him.
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