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leclsrc · 7 months

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wanna be nearer ✴︎ mv1

genre: 18+, fuck buddies ahhhaha, smut, porn w/o plot basically...

word count: 3.6k

It seems every time you tell yourself to stop, Max comes back into your life and all sense of resolve crumbles. title from this

auds here… hiii :) req'd by SO MANY PEOPLE i can't even start compiling all the asks hahah but if u asked for this here it is! writing's been tuff for me lately but this was the one thing i could continue daily (weird) also there is a case to be made re: max's hottest pictures being like 1 pixel in resolution... hope u all like it!!!

nsfw warnings under the cut!

18+ because... sexual tension, penetrative sex, some vague sexting/a sex tape being watched, praise/dirty talk central, size kink, unprotected sex, handjob (f receiving), max being a meanie

It’s busy today. You haven’t seen him all day.

To be fair, you weren’t necessarily looking—not at first, anyways. How many days had it been since the last time, now? The one in your hotel room? Almost two weeks, you think. The real answer’s blurry in your head, especially when you count the close calls, but this should be a record for you two at this point. Neither of you acknowledge that the only reason you’ve been so good at staying away from each other is because when you’re not roped into the same media junket, you avoid each other at all costs.

The media pen is full; everybody’s shoulder-to-shoulder because a few other networks bought their way into the space for the Singapore race. Right when your mind settles back into the focus of work, though—

“Here,” he says, his voice rough and tickling your ear. You nearly stumble forward, shocked at how his voice almost vibrates through you, a low trill that ripples top to bottom.

His hand settles at the small of your back, like his verbal confirmation wasn’t enough on its own; it’s big and his thumb rubs softly at the smooth strip of skin in-between your low skirt and your top. “Passing through.”

“Sure,” you say, dry. “Sorry.” You clear your throat and cant backwards into his touch—briefly, before you step forward and allow him to pass fully. Across you, Lissie looks up from her phone and you sense her trying to gauge why you’re so close to Max.

You blink and wait for him to disappear, wondering what you’ll tell her—how, more like. How the conversation even opens. How you’d phrase the truth, which in itself is a horribly grey area. Well, Lis, if you must know, Max and I have casual sex. A lot. It’s actually not very casual. We stopped now, but—yes, Max. That Max, yes.

“What about Max?”

Your eyes snap upward and then to your left, where you can see Max’s figure disappearing into a crowd of engineers. They return to Lissie and you feign confusion to mask panic. “What?”

“You were spacing out and then suddenly said his name.” She presses the tip of her pen onto her chin, humming. She doesn’t look at you and you thank God for it—eye contact would’ve rattled the truth out of you in seconds.

“I…” You shake your head. “I was irritated with—I’ve been irritated with him all morning. It’s. Yeah.”

“Oh,” she says, nodding, looking away for a second but not pausing. “Oh, okay. D’you wanna go over this edit again?”

—

The stale air of his hotel room, alleviated only by the vaguely fragrant linen spray they use when he’s out, is what greets Max when he arrives in the afternoon.The first thing he does—the only task he’d even thought of en route here—after the door clicks shut is pull up his Messages app and type.

Just got to hotel. He tosses his phone onto the bed while he waits, tugs his cap off and rakes reckless fingers through his hair. His new stylist’s got him onto jeans that don’t “look painted on” (you once said, verbatim), but he’d rather die than lounge in denim, so he swaps them out for just his Calvins.

His mind’s lethargic, but even his version of lethargic is high-drive for others—his brain has the silly tendency to work in absolute overdrive. He itches for a drink and orders a Scotch on the telephone. He checks his phone, which is lying facedown still, and as soon as he picks it up it chimes with your reply.

OK, nice. Did u need something?

No, just wanted to let you know. He hits send, then adds another. You’re off @ 8?

Ended early, I’m in the car. He’s in the middle of drafting a response when you send a follow-up.

I thought we agreed no contact unless business

He scoffs out a dry laugh. Despite himself, he reads the text in your voice, his brain completing the image of the bossy tone with crossed arms and a wickedly arched brow. In response he types: Can’t even update a friend nowadays? I am very tired you know.

Rules are rules, he reads. Then, Get some rest.

Yeah. Got a drink.

I said rest, not drink. Even then he can hear the exasperation in your voice.

How was work? I hurt a muscle doing training. That’s why I’m at the hotel early.

Feel better soon, you send. Had some press stuff today. Boring shit

Yeah? I missed you today.

Really?

A lot. He hums and leans backward, lets his head settle into the pillow, the smell of the linen spray consuming his nostrils. He waits for his phone to buzz, vibrate softly on the hard surface of his chest. It does, after a few minutes, after he’s let his eyes shut and let himself rest them for a bit, after the room service comes knocking and gives him the Scotch he’d requested while ago.

He’s back sitting on his bed when it vibrates. He picks it up and reads: How much?

You’re awfully easy to rile up. He smiles around the rim of his glass—he knows exactly where this is heading.

So much I think I’ll watch some videos of us.

The only caveat of casual sex as two people who essentially dislike each other is the fact that it’s all under wraps—which means if you two try to sneak off together, or are even caught in the same vicinity, people raise suspicions. And that means there are weeks where you barely get to fuck.

And that means you both grow antsy for it. He makes fun of you for being needy, when you’re tipsy and palming at the denim of his jeans or when you bend over when you know he’s looking. But the truth is he grows needy for it, too, craves you like you’re all that matters—he gets extra handsy, drops another innuendo when he knows you’re listening. There is a case to be made that he’s worse, in fact, because fans sometimes skirt around his words and wonder why he sounds so flirty when you’re the reporter in the room.

It was difficult but eventually he found a minor workaround: sometimes he films the two of you. There’s none of those propping his phone up kind of stuff, he just fishes for it in the middle of fucking you so he can store it for himself. It’s locked on his phone and he only has a few (the few has grown in number lately), but God it gives him release when he needs it and you’re not there.

I’ll call you when I’m at the lobby, comes the response. It’s always futile, the attempts to stay away from each other.

He pulls up the folder and lets his eyes skate over the thumbnails, squeezes himself through his boxers. Fuck. He can’t seem to decide what he wants to watch—the ones of you sucking him off, the ones of his fingers stretching you out. He recalls the whine in your voice in each of them, the pleads that escaped you for him to fuck you harder.

So Max, for the life of him, can’t even count how many times these videos have made him cum. But there’s one he hasn’t seen yet—the one he took the night before you two parted. You’d become extra needy on this night, preceding the season, he supposes, the separation. You already were anticipating the deprivation, starved for him more than usual. He’d have kissed you pretty, given you one orgasm after another and still you’d want more. And on this night it was you who asked him to film, you who wanted all of them on tape, so you’d both have something to tide you over until he got to fuck you again.

He pulls his cock out and strokes over it. And with his other hand, he presses his thumb on that video.

In it he’s fucking you in the dark, keeping the phone’s flashlight on your pussy as he sinks his cock into you. When he pulls back out the light reflects on the slick coating his dick, makes it glisten. It looks so wet, sounds so wet, with each thrust into you. He remembers just how it feels; he imagines that he’s back in your bed, fucking you again; that his fist is your pussy, and the spit lubricating it is the wetness that’s drooling out of you on camera.

He can see how tight you are—the way your pussy grips the shaft each time he pulls his cock out, greedy for him. Just like you.

The two of you were supposed to be quiet, too. You were at a hotel, your room beside another driver’s; you were supposed to be careful not to stir anyone. But your moans are louder than he remembers; so is the way you say, breathily, between gasps, Right there, Maxie, m’so close. Max inhales through his teeth, his cock throbbing at that—that Maxie, the cute little whimper out your mouth.

He strokes himself faster, watches the way your fingers slip into frame to rub at your clit, his thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier. He can see, hear—feel how wet you are, the sound of your cunt growing wetter with every thrust. He hears his own voice again, mutter out So good for me, yeah? And your babbled affirmation in response.

You cum hard, your slick getting everything wet and shiny and Max watches himself cum next. His dick’s already spurting when he pulls out and lets himself release on your lower stomach, some of it shooting onto your tits. He blinks, anchors himself back, quickens his wrist and digs his heels into the bed to keep himself from coming. Just a second longer. He knows what comes next and he needs to see it.

Like clockwork, he watches two of your fingers swipe through his cum, bringing them up to your lips. You blink up at the camera and smile. Quit it, your lips mouth, pink and cum-slick. Put it down, Maxie… fill me up again. He releases in weak spurts over his fist, a damp, flushed grunt escaping him as he does. He feels like the air’s been knocked out of him.

His phone rings and he presses it to his ear. “Hey, angel. Come on up.”

One week later

“Vodka,” you say to the bellboy when you get to the elevator. “To my hotel room. Very cold. Please. And thank you.”

The guy scurries off to fetch it for you, and five minutes and one elevator ride later, you're wrestling himself into your room, flexing your sore foot. Japan does hotel rooms well. The leather of your Manolo digs into your foot the way it does after you’ve walked the entire day and you can feel a blister forming on the back of your right heel but it doesn’t really matter, you guess, if you’re already home. Hotel-home, anyway.

You expect to find solace lounging on your bed, waiting out the hours to your morning briefing for the race and throw back a glass or two of vodka.

Instead, you find Max on your couch. He’s sipping ice-cold vodka—your ice-cold vodka.

“Hey, pretty,” he says. “Good vodka. I got staff to wire my FIFA on the TV.”

You just stare. “My TV. What,” you say, your eyes spotting the bottle of frosty vodka by his glass, “are you doing here?”

“I hadn’t seen you all day and I wanted to,” he explains simply. “Do you want food or something?”

“Food? I—nevermind,” you shrug. You’re frozen by the door, only just warmed now from the cold air that bit at your bare legs. “Max, how long have you been here?”

“Since Will Buxton started the post-FP debrief,” he huffs. He fiddles with the remote in his grip and extends it to the TV, where FIFA comes to life. “Aw, come on, angel. I know, I know. No sex and all that. I just like your company, you know?”

“Please. Go fuck yourself,” you scoff, toeing off your shoes and wiping your hands on the fabric of your skirt. He says one thing but you expect another—it’s only natural, given all the other times one of you had failed to keep a similar promise. But still you walk yourself beside him, fix the strap of your short dress, and allow him to pour you a drink.

“You know what I’ve been thinking about lately?” He asks absently. “About how you’re always having these talks with me about… about not having sex anymore, but you never even last two days.” He raises you the glass. “What is it, relapsing?”

“Fuck you,” you mutter. “It’s only because you keep trying to get me all hot and bothered.” You recall each time: in Monaco, in Madrid, in France. “Maybe if you got off my back once in a while, we’d be back to normal.”

He shrugs. “You just don’t have strong resolve.”

“Excuse me?” You scoff, irritation scratching at your throat.

“Wanna test that out? Come play.”

Your eyes flit over to the bright screen, all exhaustion cleared from your system. An animated Kylian Mbappe kicks a football in a loop. “Fine. One round and you’re out of my room.” He throws his hands up in surrender and you make a move to sit next to him. Max puts his hands out towards you then, nodding. You mistake it for some handshake, accept them, and then he’s wrangle you onto his lap facing outward. You feel your pulse at your throat as he pulls you tight against him.

“This is cheating,” you say, your voice dry.

“You got it wrong. Teaching.”

He moves his fingers atop yours, explaining what to press, what goes where, what to do for this or that. He can smell your perfume, hear your stilted breaths, and when he peeks over your shoulder he can see where your dress falls loose, showing the lace of your bra and your tits underneath them.

If he had it his way, he’d hike your dress up and have you ride him. But he’s given you a challenge.

You play a practice round and end up scoring a few goals, fingers making quick work of the buttons. Behind you, Max watches, content, answering your questions when you ask them hurriedly—how do I do this? That? Did I just score?

You score once, then twice, then three times, and before you know it you’re scoring in quick succession. The game is fun—it’s easy. If Max was trying to give you a hard time, he failed. You grow determined, competitive within seconds (something he really should’ve anticipated), and you’re scoring goals with skill that you’d confidently say rivals Max’s.

Max. You almost—almost forget he’s there, and then you sit up straighter and you’re hit with the sensation of his dick pressing into your ass. You inhale sharply and the controller clatters to the floor.

“You okay, pretty?” His hand comes up to rest on your knee, inching closer and closer with every hitch of your breath. Your hand, now free of the controller, seizes his, stopping it right at the middle of your thigh.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah? You look stressed.” He doesn’t move. “You were so close, too, weren’t you?” The score stares you right in the face: 4-5. “Maybe you just need to get your mind off it.” It’s so bullshit, so extremely obvious, but he’s right in your ear and his hand is so near where you’ve missed its presence.

You’re usually competitive. You can usually hold your ground. But with this and him—

“Maybe,” you breathe, loosening your grip. He spreads his legs, spreading yours in the process, and brings his hand closer, running slender fingers over the lace material of your underwear until you’re squirming. It grows damper the more he touches, your mouth hanging open with stunted whimpers.

“You always come back to me, schatz, don’t you,” he says, whispers against your ear. You wrench a moan out. “Remember the first time? You interviewed me in Abu Dhabi… you teased me the whole day and begged to come thrice in my room. The time in Monaco you touched yourself to me when I was in the next room. The time we almost hooked up in Miami…” He groans, to himself more than you. “You’re a dirty girl.” He’s curling two fingers inside of you now, grazing against the sweet spot pulls the most delicious moans out of your innocent mouth.

“Every time… you go, that was the last time.” While your mind recaps the memories he’s busy spelling into your ear, Max’s fingers are curling inside of you against that sweet spot just right, and your moans are getting louder and louder.

“Fuck,” he huffs, watching your flushed face get more and more euphoric.

“Aw, pretty, look at that,” Max laughs. He’s looking at your thighs, watching the way they tense and shake as his fingers stroke your g spot. Each pump and curl into your twitching pussy feels better and better, and your dripping walls are starting to clench around his fingers.

“Wait, I—I can’t,” you pant, lolling your head onto his shoulder and involuntarily bucking your hips upward.

“Yeah you can,” he orders. “It’s so easy to get you to cum, isn’t it? Or is that just for me? The driver you hate the most?” He laughs. “Get all wet for the guy you couldn’t care less about. Say you hate me and get my dick nice and wet the next day.” You’re grinding onto his three fingers now, shameless with it.

“Are you gonna cum?” He asks.

“Oh,” you whine. “Yeah, fuck—yes.”

“Tell me what you’re gonna do,” he says wickedly. You can hear him smile.

“I’m gonna—please—I’m gonna cum,” you pant, tension coming to a halt and then bursting all at once out of you. His other arm holds your hips down against him, and you spend a minute and another twitching, your skin sticky with sweat and slick.

It’s not long before you’re whirled back to face him, your hands making quick work of his jeans. It’s a skill you’ve both mastered, the art of the quickie—in closets, hotel rooms, with sweaty, open-mouthed kisses pressed along the column of your throat, moans swallowed.

He hikes your dress up and your panties to the side, immediately bullies his cock into you—the glide is slow, but easy. You’re so fucking wet.

“Fucking big,” you gasp out. “Jesus, Jesus—fuck.” Your head drops and presses against his; he uses the opportunity to kiss you. You moan into it, feeling the stretch, your slick wetness dragging down the length of him as he thrusts up, up, further. “Been a while.”

“Feel good, though, yeah?” Your toes curl and you nod; you’re flushed all over and you need him to hurry up. You grind downward, onto him. He does, then, fucks you hard and fast, like he’s thirsted for this for way longer than he did. You’re squirming, all wet, and it tempts him to go harder. Your face is shiny with sweat, lips drawn in between your teeth.

“Slo—slow down,” you manage, babbling; he doesn’t, speeding up his thrusts until you’re moaning his name. “Max—wait—fuck, you’re so mean,” you whine, wrapping your arms around him and letting him take control.

“You’re fine,” he grunts, pulling out almost all the way. “You take my dick so well, schatz, every fucking time. Don’t you?”

“I do,” you gasp out, and he’s slamming into you gain. You cry out loudly, sniffling from the overstimulation—you’d barely recovered from your initial orgasm and already you’re hurtling into what feels like three at the same time.

“For someone who doesn’t like me,” he sneers, “you sure do moan like a slut, huh?”

His words get you more turned on than you’re willing to admit, but you shake your head.

“No?” He laughs, breathy from the effort. “Maybe I should film you now. Send it to your boss, let him see his stellar reporter’s getting Verstappen’s dick wet.”

Finally, the tension building inside of you reaches a head, and your pussy starts to twitch around his dick. He notices, grunts sharply and leans forward, shuddering as he releases into you. Your moans are choked and tapering into whimpers as you release slick all over him, and you attempt to catch your breath, collapsing onto his still-clothed, now-sticky chest. You scratch at the dri-fit material and inhale him, the smell of his cologne, his sweat. You bite at his earlobe, laugh when he flinches.

“That,” you say into his skin, “was the last time.” It’s both seriously and as a joke, playing off of what he’d remarked earlier.

“Jesus, princess. I’m still inside you.”

You giggle and drum lightly along the plane of his chest. In a few minutes he’ll pick you up to shower, but now you’re content to inhale him in. Quietly you wonder why you just can’t get enough of him—if you were in better senses, you’d have realized he was thinking the same thing about you.

#f1 #max verstappen #max verstappen smut #max verstappen imagines #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #f1 x reader

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valent1neg0d · 3 months

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THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS GETTING STARTED WITH THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION (AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN MANIFESTING FOR 5 YEARS)

1. the law of assumption is personal. considering how we have different sets of experiences, different environments, different upbringings, and even different languages, we have different assumptions.

because of this, we are affected by teachings and success stories differently. it's important to note this since a lot of manifestation coaches will teach you about the law in a way that worked for them (and the others they may have taught) but it's possible that their advice (even my own) may not be the best for you. even abdullah and neville goddard, two of the people who are known to start this discipline, may have ancient or varied belief systems and techniques. this is normal considering the world they lived in before is different from the world we live in now.

although, you should still read on abdullah and neville because they will teach you the basics and they will help you understand the foundations of the law.

as an example, you might manifest your dream career faster with simple affirmation techniques but a coach may have taught you to focus on visualization techniques.

even the idea that "dominant THOUGHTS manifest" or "what you BELIEVE in manifests" is entirely up to you.

note: notice how i said "may not be the best for you" instead of "may not work for you". any technique can, does, and will work.

how i learned this: when i was learning about the law, i mainly focused on neville's teachings because he was one of the most prominent figures in the practice. and though i liked his practical techniques (especially mental diet and inner conversations), there were some beliefs that i do not agree with e.g. divine timing, appointed hour, avoiding "does not" "is not" "will not".

when i was going through sammy ingrams' takes, she said that it's better to have concise affirmations/short list (non-verbatim) than a long list of 25+ affirmations. but going through affirmations without being specific about them doesn't personally resonate with me and that's just because i'm a detail-oriented person (also a writer).

what i can advise:

learn about different approaches

a. through scientific concepts. e.g. quantum physics, reticular activating system, cognitive reframing, cognitive behavioral therapy, the psychology of placebo effect, the psychology of affirmations, Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (a.k.a. the psychology of self-fulfilling prophecy)

b. through religious and/or spiritual concepts. e.g. passages from the Bible, passages from the Quran, deity work, spells and rituals

c. through self-development. e.g. identity-based habit

start the practice with an identity you like in the present or an identity that you resonate with (learning style, talents, interests, etc.)

examples:

-visual learner = vision boards

-loves writing = scripting

-words of affection love language = affirmations

take teachings with a grain of salt. do not limit yourself and do not allow other people to limit you. experiment with concepts, ideas, and techniques, and have fun with them.

2. techniques are only reminders. you are manifesting either by thinking, feeling, or acting out your desires. you are manifesting every second of the day either with your thoughts, emotions, or by embodying a state. you are only being intentional when you anchor techniques.

note: it is true that your dominant thoughts manifest. it is also true that what you believe in manifests, the same way that your inner knowing manifests. BUT these ideas are meant to empower you. they are meant to remind you that manifestation is as easy as thinking, feeling, acting, believing, understanding, deciding, etc. if an idea doesn't feel good to you, it doesn't have to be an ultimate truth you embrace and carry on with. this is the same with techniques.

what i can advise:

choose one technique and practice it for 7 to 21 days. it can be mental diet, affirmation tapes, sats, mind movies, etc. as long as you can persist with it. give it time. give it time. give it time. in other aspects of the world, you give change some time. when you're calcium deficient and you decide to drink calcium supplements, you realize that it's counterproductive to ask "why am i still calcium deficient?" as soon as you start your regimen because you know your body is changing with the supplement and you put your trust into it. after all, why would you choose a supplement you have no faith on? you just give it time.

note: you can still manifest changes to be instant. you can affirm "i am seeing results now", "results come immediately", "my manifestation is quick". the amount of time you're using a technique does not equate to the amount of time your results will come.

the reason why i encourage you to practice for maximum 21 days is so you can fully explore and master the technique you chose. with the abundance of topics and methods discussed in social media, switching and trying new things is tempting. now, there is nothing wrong with this. it's just that, you wouldn't be able to take a step back and reflect on what worked and what takes more effort when you change techniques every so often.

try a technique that is popularized in the media. a lot of the times, the reason why this technique gained traction is either because it's simple or because it has worked for a lot of people. now, here's the thing: if said technique wasn't for you, at least you can say "oh this is a tiktok/twitter/youtube/old/beginner technique, there are other techniques out there" and you can try another technique with less resistance. but, if it did work, then it did. congratulations.

you can invent your own. here are some techniques that i invented throughout the years.

a. "name is set and solid with the fact that..." - works amazing for sp, getting people to commit, getting people to pursue you

b. "okay! manifestation powers go brrr!" - funny but i do this when I'm spiraling; it also helps me surrender doubts and i think it's because it's so simple and unserious lmao

you can combine them. for example, you want to do sats but you cannot hold a vision for long, what you can do is montage photos or videos that is similar to the vision you want to manifest. you can also have affirmation tapes running in the background.

3. "concept" work can be such a banger. assumptions are basically the conception about the world, about yourself, about the people around you. hence, when you manifest and apply the law of assumption, you change or reinforce a conception.

these can be done through:

self-concept

what it is: your awareness about yourself; the way you perceive yourself.

how you can apply it: there are multiple ways to establish your self-concept but the best way, is to start reinforcing the universal truth: that you are inherently worthy. you deserve money and resources because you are worthy. you deserve love because you are worthy. you deserve ease because you are worthy.

other ways to grow your self-concept is celebrating the identities you have within yourself that you like e.g. that you are strong, you are disciplined, you are beautiful. be careful about strongly tying yourself into these identities though because these are not the reasons why you shall receive. again, you shall receive because you are inherently worthy.

why it works: by having a strong self-concept, you develop ease. you are less likely to rationalize or question the law or why you deserve the things you're asking for. and as you may think, rationalizing may be a form of resistance. questioning may be a form of resistance.

one of the ways i have seen this is when people receive incentives from work, instead of just receiving or saying "thank you", they say things like "what have i done to receive this?", sometimes completely rejecting this gift because of fear that they might lose something when they receive. this can be an example of a weak self-concept. consequently, the company starts questioning "did my employer really do enough to receive this?".

on the other hand, someone with a strong self-concept can take this incentive and buy the things they like because they know they deserve it. they can also take this incentive and say to themselves "oh it's because i worked hard these past few days". it's the knowing and confidence they have within themselves that everything around them has no other option but to recognize.

conception of other things (e.g. of love, of money, of a specific person)

you can work on your conception of other things the same way you work on your self-concept: choosing a narrative that is uplifting to you.

in case you have resistance to a specific object, you can also listen to people's success stories to start shifting to a more positive and desirable perception. one of the ways i do this is by going back to abdullah and neville's story. these two men lived at difficult times, through difficult eras, yet they manifested their desires. they managed to let go of the 3D.

4. practice some distance as you're starting. you were exposed to a different life before the law, it's only normal and human to have doubts or spiral once in a while. however, when you set distance on things that do not help you embody the state, you set distance on things that will feed your doubts and spiraling.

for example, if you're shifting to a state of wealth and you're affirming "i have 1,000 dollars". it's unhelpful and opposing to be constantly surrounded by someone else saying "you only have 10 dollars".

now, i do understand that not everyone can do this right away because of circumstances. but PLEASE do whatever you can to set this distance. find a voice to reinstate your truth.

a personal story, i am an asian girl living with a grandmother who was pessimistic about love because her two children (my mom and my aunt) struggled with it. because of this, she used to constantly remind me of how love is difficult. i didn't know this at the time, but this created a set of beliefs in my head. consequently, as a teenager, i only seeked and allowed love which was difficult because that was all i've ever known. that was all my assumption.

but around the pandemic, i went back to the countryside with my dad where i had a lot of time on my own. this was when i got deep into new-age spirituality and did shadow work. from here, i realized: this is not my assumption about love. before my parents broke up, my assumption was that love is easy. you only have to make the other person laugh. when i was busy in school and would spend most of the time at my friend's house, my assumption was that love is support and light. i started to get these epiphanies that a lot of my pessimistic perception was because of someone i was constantly surrounded with and that i have to build new assumptions.

but around august 2020, i have to go back to the city with my grandmom. i was afraid of the toll i might get into when i got back. however, because i already practiced distance and understood what are the assumptions that serve me, what are the assumptions that i want, i was more at peace. i listed down affirmations about myself, about love, about money, about being "deserving".

after this, every time she told me what love was, i can stop her and say no. i can tell her that it's not the universal truth, and certainly not mine. along the way, i started manifesting that she believes love is easy and supportive. i started manifesting that she believes i deserve love that is soft and tender.

then, when i got into my relationship, she was nothing but happy and supportive.

other ways i have practiced distance while manifesting:

unfollowing content creators who normalized hating men.

unfollowing content creators who were shady and negative about relationships.

unfriending highschool guy friends who do not make me feel safe about men.

unfriending relatives who make unnecessary comments about my looks, my studies, my relationship, and my earnings.

unfollowing girls who made me feel bad about also liking girls.

unfollowing manifestation gurus who romanticize struggles because "the more you struggle, the more you get blessed"

unfollowing manifestation gurus who say stuff like "if you want money, you have to take action to deserve it. not just manifesting"

now, you can totally manifest these people to change and be better, as long as it will make you feel good.

that's all i can share today (since this post is already getting long). i hope you learned a thing or two. thank you so much for reading. i love you and i appreciate you !

#law of assumption #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog #neville goddard #living in the end #loass #loassblog #manifestation #manifesting #affirmations #visualization #self concept

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fanonical · 23 days

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look people who've been around here for a while know exactly how i feel about the early doctor who serial edge of destruction but i rewatched it recently and i have feelings

so edge of destruction is the third ever serial of doctor who, right? it's an unearthly child, the daleks, then edge of destruction. and it's also kind of a bottle episode. edge of destruction is a two-parter, and is set entirely on the tardis featuring only the main cast

the plot is weird. everyone wakes up in the tardis with confusion and memory loss, not knowing what's going on. the tardis isn't safe, and strange things are happening. the ship seems to be malfunctioning, but there's nothing notably wrong with it. everyone's freaking out and accusing each other of sabotaging the tardis or hurting each other

now, as i said, this is early doctor who. companions barbara and ian had been kidnapped by the doctor and susan so they don't tell anyone that time travel is real, and at this point they don't trust the doctor and the doctor doesn't trust them. the doctor immediately starts accusing barbara and ian of sabotaging the ship to force him to take them home, which they angrily refute. they've spent the last two stories saving the doctor and susan from whatever's trying to kill them

barbara has a speech here which is brilliant and i can quote verbatim. 'do you realise, you stupid old man, that you'd have died in the cave of skulls if ian hadn't made fire for you? and what about what we went through against the daleks? not just for us, but for you and susan too. and all because you tricked us into going down to the city. accuse us? you ought to go down on your hands and knees and thank us! but gratitude's the last thing you'll ever have, or any sort of common sense either'

and the doctor spends the whole two episodes either accusing ian and barbara of being evil or being wholly unhelpful. (he straight up drugs everyone with a sedative at one point!) yeah, turns out the tardis is trying to tell them what's wrong via cryptic clues, and barbara's putting the pieces together. and the doctor still doesn't listen to her! she's so close to figuring it out and saving them all - they're all gonna die in about ten minutes and the doctor's basically given up, but barbara's trying to solve the problem

and in the end, they have the eureka moment and get out of trouble, but barbara's still understandably pissed. that is, until the doctor takes the time to apologise to her and tell her that yeah, she was right and he's sorry he didn't listen to her and he's going to do better to respect her opinions in future. they go into the next serial as friends, a first for the series to that point

so why do i love this weird little two-parter so much? because it is the moral centre of modern doctor who. this is the start of the characterisation of the doctor that we know and love. before this, the doctor is ruthless! he tries to kill a guy with a rock! he sabotages the tardis to satisfy his curiosity and lands everyone in danger from the daleks! he drugs them just because he doesn't trust them! he thinks he's smarter, better, and more important than the people he travels with

but then barbara stands up to him. she tells him that, no, she and ian are important too. and no, they're worth listening to. and yes, they can help and are worth something. and that's important, because barbara and ian are way more compassionate than the doctor is at this point. they want to help people they come across even if it means putting their own lives in danger.

sound familiar? yeah, the doctor's whole thing of helping everyone they come across and compassion towards everyone starts here. this is one of the most enduring things about the doctor and it would never have happened without barbara telling the doctor he's full of shit

and it's all because he listened to an ordinary woman

#Doctor Who #Classic Who #Ian Chesterton #Barbara Wright #First Doctor #Susan Foreman

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fuck-customers · 10 days

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New supervisor. Nice lady, but it seems she'll be leaving despite having only recently gotten here. I'm working with her, she gets a phone call and thanks the person then hangs up and does a little cheer. I smile and she happily tells me what's going on (since I'd previously asked where she was transferring out of curiosity).

Her old store that she just transferred from was about a 30 minute commute from her house. Our store is also far from her house (not sure if farther or shorter--can't recall). So she'd been planning on requesting a transfer to a place closer to home. Totally reasonable. But the DM was like, "No, I want you to stay at this store instead." And I can't remember everything she said verbatim, but the DM basically said that if she pressed for this, he was going to transfer her back to the old store she worked at and cut her hours from full time to part time. Dude she got off the phone with was the DM of the place she wanted to transfer to (apparently she'd filled him in on the situation with our DM) assured her that there is absolutely no way he is going to let that happen to her. Glad everything is working out for her. She told me that if it had come to it, she would have just quit her job and then applied for a job at the location she wanted. But holy shit, fuck our district manager.

Posted by admin Rodney.

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sunshine-theseus · 4 months

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Fuck the RFEF | Amaiur Sarrigei x Reader

Words: 1.8k Summary: you refuse to play for the national team, risking your playing license, Amaiur disagrees Warnings: angst, !!mentions of SA!!, let’s pretend the girls are on a break in Barca before the call-up and Amaiur went to the wwc Requested by - @realsociadadferminofan

Patri, Cláudia and Mapi were who I always went to when something went wrong. Joining the 3 in abstaining from national team call ups after the 2022 Euros and being one of the 4 that refused a call-up for the world cup due to lack of action toward Jorge Vilda’s misconduct, they were basically my closest friends. Not to say the other girls didn’t mean a lot, I know if they felt like they could, they’d have joined us in refusing. But these 3 were who I had when I felt like crying as I watched my friends and girlfriend win the biggest football tournament in the world.

This also meant I’d go to them with relationship problems.

“What do you mean?” Patri had quickly paused the movie she was watching and called Mapi and Cláudia over when I came crying and banging on her door.

“I told her ‘I don’t care about losing my license if it means going against my morals and everything I’ve protested’ and she called me selfish and brainless.” Another sob wracks my body and I fall back into the arms of whoever is next to me.

“Amaiur said that?” it’s Cláudia who asks, tone of voice proving how ludicrous Am’s actions were.

“Verbatim.”

“Am! Did you get the email?” I yell across the house for my girlfriend who sits in the living room doing God knows what.

“Sí! Did you?”

“Yeah! What did you say?” my teeth worry at my bottom lip as I wait for her answer.

“I said yes, it’s a national call up. What about you?” I’m not sure what to say as my girlfriend strolls into our bedroom, holding her phone to her face.

She’s clearly re-reading the email we’d all been sent. An email majority of us had signed a statement saying we should not receive if changes were not made, especially after the events at the world cup.

“No.”

“Que? Que quieres decir ‘no'?” (what do you mean ‘no’?) Amaiur gives me a shocked look as I retreat beneath our blankets.

“Nothing has changed Am. How am I supposed to go back? Did you even read the full email? ‘If you refuse this national team call-up, your professional playing license may be revoked in correlation to the Spanish FIFA and RFEF code of conduct.’ They’re forcing me to reject my morals and risk my entire career for some shit call-up.” Angry tears prick at the corner of my eyes. This isn’t fair, how does she find this fair?

“Bebé, they got rid of Rubiales and Jorge, that’s what everyone was fighting for. You, Mapi, Patri and Cláudia, you can come back now.”

“Amaiur how do you not see nothing has fucking changed just because they got rid of two shitty people? Alexia, Ona, they wouldn’t be going if it wasn’t to protect the other girls, especially the younger ones. Esas chicas merecen algo major.” (those girls deserve better).

“So you’re not going? You’re giving up your career for this? You’re being a selfish and brainless cabrona!” (dumbass) the anger quickly melts off her face and regret fills her eyes, but I’m already pulling the sheets off me and heading for the door.

I grab my keys from the bowl that sits on the table beside the door, and leave. Her pleas for me to come back so she can apologise are futile as I walk down the hall. Señor Perez, the old man with many cats, sits at the end of the hall, giving me a pitiful smile that I return before making my way down the stairs.

“Ese pedazo de mierda.” (that piece of shit) it’s the first thing Mapi has said all evening, but it makes me laugh.

“No. I mean yes, but I still love her, I don’t think she meant it. We were both just angry.” It’s hard not to defend the girl I’ve loved for so long, but I know I’m right.

She’s always supported my decision to stand up against the RFEF and higher-ups. I just think she expected after Rubiales and Vilda were gone, we’d be playing together again. Admittedly I’d momentarily thought the same, but there was no way I could go back.

“Are you guys going?” the trio give each other guilty looks before turning to me. No one says anything.

“It’s okay if you do. I truly understand, you guys shouldn’t risk your careers for this. You’re being forced into it and that isn’t fair. I’ll support you no matter what.” I place an arm around Patri and grab Cláudia and Mapi’s hands.

“Thank you hermosa. We’re still going to fight this, from the inside.” Mapi says it in a funny voice and sends me a wink and I can’t stop the laugh that escapes.

Not much else can be said before we settle down on the couch to continue whatever movie it is the Patri has playing. Despite me calming down, I didn’t think I was in a state to return to my girlfriend quite yet. The universe seems to disagree.

There’s a loud knocking on the door and a familiar voice rings out from behind it.

“Patri, I know Y/n is in there! I need to talk to her! Please?” I’m standing and opening the door before anyone can reply.

Amaiur doesn’t waist a second in spewing out apologies and wrapping her arms around me. I reciprocate the gesture and begin rocking us back and forth. It’s hard to ignore the stares of our Spanish teammates who sit looking on in the living room.

“I’m so, so sorry, I can’t believe I said that to you. I stand by you, you know that. I’m just so scared for you and your career. You love playing so much and you might lose it all because of this.” I let out a sigh and pull away, resting a hand on her cheek.

“Do you want to know why I’m so willing to risk it all? Why I need this change so bad before I can come back?” she gives a simple shake of her head.

I have to give myself a second, swallowing nervously as I look into her eyes. The warmest, most beautiful eyes. She should know, I’ve hid it for too long.

“When… When we played in the Euros, there was one night where I was feeling bad. You were out with some of the girls, and I was in our room alone. Well around an hour after you left, Vilda came bursting in, obviously we weren’t allowed to lock our doors so there was nothing to stop him. He asked why I wasn’t doing team bonding and I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He came toward me and hugged me like he was going to comfort me, but-” I begin to choke on my words and tears breach my waterline. I can’t bare to look at the girls around me.

Am places a hand softly over my hand that rests on my own arm and I take a deep breath before continuing.

“His hands began to stray. I told him to stop and shoved him away, but he just kept going. He groped my ass and boobs, tried taking my clothes off. He slipped his hand down my shorts.”

“Did he…” Amauri is too scared to finish her sentence.

“He didn’t get that far; someone came knocking on the door and he just left with a sick grin.”

“Did you report him?” Everyone around me looks like they’re about to throw up, but for the most part they look angry.

“I reported him to every higher-up I could. They laughed me off and told me I was being delusional. That is why I can’t go back until there is actual change. Especially after what happened to Jenni and knowing other girls have been through it too. If that means I lose the job I love? So be it. They won’t shut me up.”

“I’m not goin-” Am tries.

“Yes you fucking are. I already told those 3, and I will tell Alexia and Marta and Mariona and whoever else I need to. You have to go, to ensure things change. And to make sure the younger girls are safe.” Cláudia, Patri and Mapi have all disappeared, so it just leaves me and my girlfriend.

“For you. I’ll do anything for you bebé.” I stand on my tippy toes to press a kiss to her lips.

“Thank you.”

~~~~~

4 members of the Spanish Women’s National Team have been released from international duty without sanctions, not including Alexia Putellas who has been allowed to leave due to injury. Is the change we’ve been waiting for, finally coming?

It’s the main headline across all media platforms the morning of the second day of camp. A 7-hour meeting to release 4 players. Fucking ridiculous.

Despite it, a smile tugs at my lips as I sit in bed, the sun filtering through the stained-glass windows of Amaiur and my bedroom back in Donostia-San Sebastian. I wait patiently for my girlfriend to arrive, a cup of coffee on her bedside time while my own rests in my left hand.

“Hola bebé! Is that coffee I smell?” the door slams shut behind Amaiur and her footsteps slowly creep closer to the bedroom.

I place my coffee on my own bedside table and get up, pouncing into her arms when she walks through the open door. She stumbles for a moment before adjusting her grip on my thighs, smiling brightly up at me as I lean down and kiss her hard.

My hands thread through her hair and she turns us around and walks forward to press me against the wall. In a moment of weakness, she squeezes my thigh and I let out a moan, allowing her to slip her tongue past my lips.

Not long after, we have to break apart for air.

“You’d think I’d been missing for months with the way you kiss me.”

“Any amount of time away from you it too long.” I give her a small smile and she pecks my nose, making me giggle.

“Can we cuddle and drink coffee while we watch movies?” I pout at her as puts me back on my two feet.

“Anything for my girl.”

Very soon after, I find myself in her arms on the couch, all curtains drawn shut, warm cups of coffee abandoned on the table, Encanto playing loudly on the TV. Naturally I sing along poorly and quote every line.

“Have you heard from the RFEF about your license?” I smile into her neck at the question.

“I get to keep it. And they gave an apology. Not that it means much still, but we’re getting there.” Amaiur squeals and jumps off the couching, taking me with her. She lifts me up and spins me around before putting me back down, spreading kissing across my face. My heart clenches at her display of love. How can one be so perfect?

#woso x reader #woso #womens soccer #woso fanfics #wwc 2023 #Amaiur Sarriegi #Spanish footballer #amaiur sarriegi x reader #amaiur sarriegi fanfic #spain wnt #spain women's national team

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archangeldyke-all · 4 months

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Heya! It’s 👽 again, so basically Nicole from class of 09 is really sarcastic and doesn’t seem to care much for how others feel, just saying whatever tf she wants 💀 I could give a few quotes from the game since there isn’t really much written on her personality 😭

“Why would I flirt with a guy to get a free hit of Dust-Off? You can get the whole thing at a store for, like, three dollars.”

“Sorry if I don’t want my legacy to be freaks jacking off to pictures of me.”

“How does a guy who sounds like a cartoon character also have a sex addiction problem?”

Meanwhile she says all this shit with a straight face 😭

Hopefully this makes sense! Anyway, hope you have a good day/afternoon/night!

-👽

wait now i feel like i should check out of class of '09 because some of these lines i think i've actually said that last quote verbatim to my friends hahaha

men and minors dni

sevika would think you're the funniest person she's ever met.

you're just constantly saying exactly what she's thinking out loud. and you say it all with a straight face.

you used to get into a lot of shit with your words, but with sevika by your side, giggling and egging you on, nobody bothers fucking with you anymore.

she first starts crushing on you when she overhears you shit talking a stranger. she'd never even met the guy before, but the way you were roasting him had her biting her lip to keep from laughing. she swore if she ever met the fucker she'd give him a piece of her mind. or... your mind.

when she asks you out, it goes something like this.

"so, i was wondering maybe you'd wanna get drinks some time?"

"like a date?"

"yeah like a date."

"oh. thank fuck. i've been wanting to climb you like a fuckin' tree since i first met you, sev." you say with a straight face. sevika doubles over in laughter.

sevika's not anxious, but she's not the type to cause a problem if she doesn't think she needs to. so when you're out in public, and she gets something on her food or order wrong, she always just bites her tongue and rolls her eyes.

she doesn't have to with you around, though.

"she wanted a chocolate shake." you call, knocking on the window of the drive through. "hello?! she wanted chocolate!" you say to the teenager through the glass. sevika's laughing in the passenger's seat the whole time.

silco is terrified of you. when he works sevika too hard, or keeps her from you for two many hours, he's guaranteed to find you standing in his office with a scowl on your face.

"where is she?" you ask. silco freezes in his office chair, cringing at the sound of your voice. "silco, i know your skinny ass can hear me, where's my girlfriend?" you ask. he slowly turns in his chair.

"it's good to see you, dea--"

"fuck off. y'know i could get your whole crew to unionize in two days time, where's sevika?" you ask again. silco groans.

"i need her tonight!" he complains.

"well, how do you think i feel? i can't sleep until i get all my orgasms in, and she's been too tired for sex all week!" you say. silco chokes on his tongue, then gives up his fight.

"she's downstairs!" he says, his voice an octave higher than usual. "please have her back by monday!" he calls after you as you run out of his office.

"yeah, right!" you call back.

silco just laughs.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut #i hope this captured the out of pocket vibe enough haha i hope u like it alien anon!!

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wannab-urs · 8 months

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 17

Hello darlings!

It was another big week - 24 fics! I should really start sleeping at night instead of reading until 3 am.... oh well. Enjoy the fruits of my sleep disorder!

You can find the Spreadsheet in all it's organizational glory here and all of my previous recommendations here.

Recommendations below the pedro meme (created by @gasolinerainbowpuddles)

Ravish -a Joel series by @psychedelic-ink

I've read a few like... cam girl/chat service/sex work type AUs and I have to say this is one of my favorites. I really really love the little Dieter cameos. And a little birdie (the literal author) told me he may be making an appearance in a future installment??? I am so excited ugh. Joel is like... stunningly hot in this despite being the kind of guy that falls in love with a cam girl. Yummy yummy

Seven minutes in heaven (the bathroom) -a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

A fun twist on the bathroom quickie trope. Frankie is so filthy in this fic and it is fantastic. I really like the ending also. Made me giggle

A Savage Place - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

SUB JOEL MY BELOVED!!! This is one of those more realistic sub joels where he's confused as fuck about liking it, but he really clearly needs someone to take control for a little while. I really fucking love this so much. (there's pegging in part 2 @ my pegging enthusiasts <3 ) Reader is hot as hell, also. GOD I love this.

Whistle in the Dark - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Romantic cucking <3 No but okay the like basic plot is that your husband is a piece of shit who cheats on you so you like forcibly cuck him with Joel and Joel has feelings and it's sooooo hot and so good and like... affirming? and sweet? And your husband deserves to have his dick cut off bc he does something real fucked up, but having to watch Joel Miller dick his wife down GOOD is a start.

He hurt me but it felt like true love - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Mean sexy Joel is pissy cause he found your dildo and he's gonna make that your problem. It's so hot. Vaginal DP????? GOD DAMN. Someone said DP isn't depraved a while back (eyeroll). They should read this. This is beautifully depraved

Feral Woman - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This series has me feeling so many emotions. Watching FW/reader/Julia/Bug heal over time and learn to trust again is so fucking good. Susan is the light of my motherfuckin life I love that woman with all my heart. This series is GORGEOUS

Endless Night - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

yes i basically worked my way through Puddles' masterlist can you fucking blame me look at this shit. Anyway. EnNi reader/OC is, on the surface, the sunshine to Joel's grump. But the thing I love about her is that she's got this underlying darkness that adds so much depth to the grumpy x sunshine trope. I'm also eating up the borderline enemies to lovers dynamic going on here. Joel is such a dick lmao. I'm so excited for the rest of this fic.

All the good girls go to hell - an Ezra one shot by @psychedelic-ink

DUBCON with PRIEST EZRA yesssssss. The Haunted Hoedown is the gift that keeps on giving. This fic is so fucking HOT. Ezra as a priest seems so wrong and so right at the same time. This is excellent. I'd gladly go to hell for this man UNF.

Three's a crowd - a Marcus P/Javi P one shot by @agentmarcuspike

Marcus motherfuckin cute ass baby Pike watches Javier Peña fuck you. Yeah. Cucking Marcus Pike. That's what this is. Marcus is also characterized perfectly. Like this is so fucking cute actually. And it's really hot. obviously.

Begging for you to take my hand - a Joel series by @jupiter-soups

This fic is driving me up the wall in the best way. Joel is a big dumb idiot man who is like... not emotionally intelligent enough to realize he's in the wrong while trying to do what he perceives to be the "right thing." Here's what I commented verbatim on part 2 "Joel 'You Deserve Better Than Me' Miller back on his bullshit. I love this so much. Joel is so sad and so stupid i kinda wanna hit him." So if you're like me and you like to watch Joel be a sad little idiot who is also super hot.... this is the one

Refuge - a Joel series by @cool-iguana

GAH THIS IS SO GOOD!!! This fic really situates you in reader's head. Like you feel disoriented and frustrated and scared when she does and you feel like a powerful badass when she does and it's SO good. Basically in this one your husband joel shows up with some kid who is def not your kid in Jackson after you've been there for a hot minute and it's a big wtf moment. There's some other shit going on that I don't wanna spoil but like... this is so good. I know I keep saying that but GOT DAMN

Exposed - a Javi P one shot by @atticrissfinch

big fat dub con warning on this one. I so rarely see Javi written as a creep and I really fucking enjoyed it. I would like to humbly request more creep!professor!javi p

The Apprentice - a Dave York one shot by @pedropascalsx

This has like mafia!au vibes while not really being that, but what I mean by that is that the big bad murder daddy who you thought you'd be scared of saves you from murder father (ur dad). I really liked the characterization of Dave in this and the smut was HOT

Stockings - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

Daddy kink daddy kink daddy kink. This is inspired by a photo that literally looks like denim shirt joel is helping you put your stockings on. This fic manages to be adorable and aggressively hot at the same time. I am in love.

Slumber - a Joel one shot by @cool-iguana

I love a good somno fic. also this is literally their 2nd fic they ever wrote and it's so good?! TALENT. There was a thing in this that caught me off guard bc I fully did not read the warnings, but I was not at all mad about it... HOT

Yearling - a Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

Holy motherfuckin shit balls dude. I'm noticing that I'm reading a lot of Reader-Who-Is-Extremely-Traumatized fics this week and I refuse to examine why that is but also they all have handled the heavy content very very well. Anyway. Reader is super duper good with horses and Joel is so soft and Ellie is so Ellie and I love all of this. I really love the way Kit builds the world in her fics. Like the opening chapter and then the way Bambi's back story is built up and the spaces that she exists in, they're all so vivid and good and real to me. I'm so fucking in love with the way Kit includes these details like reader singing and playing music, joel's coat, the light on in the house when Bambi is gone. It feels like nothing is there just to be there, like it's all important and it has a significant impact on the story and man... (also if you're worried about starting a longfic that's not finished, it updates like twice a fuckin week. Fast writer lol).

The Cabin in the Woods- a Dave York one shot by @xdaddysprincessxx

Getting kidnapped by Dave York and held in his cabin in the woods. Dark dark dark fic and so fucking well written. Love this <3

Isn't She a Doll? - a Dave York one shot by @proxima-writes

You are Dave's perfect little housewife and that is definitely the only thing going on here. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. (just read it)

Who do you call? - a Joel one shot by @chloeangelic

Your hot neighbor Joel helps you get rid of a spider! How sweet of him. Oh and then he rails you on the couch. I really love the way they have a whole conversation while they're fucking about how long it's been since they've fucked anyone. Chloe just has this wonderful way of infusing humor into really really hot fics that I adore

Does your mother know? - a Joel one shot by @cupofjoel

Another bathroom quickie for the rec list and god DAMN this one is hot. Close Family Friend!Joel (god I love putting this man in situations). There's something about being forced to stay quiet that just makes everything hotter.

Cellmate's Nephew!Joel - a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

JoJo is actually the love of my life. His tattoos, his voice, his dick print.... sigh. Can't wait to get out prison so this man can rail me on every available surface between the prison and Mabel's house.

The Man That I Love - a Joel series by @lumoverheaven

Joel is an idiot who doesn't know what he has until he almost loses it. The first part is heartwrenching and sad and I love it. The second part is wonderful and makes me tear up a lil

I said I didn't feel nothing, baby, but I lied - a Veracruz one shot by @iamasaddie

Veracruz is so hot. I swear that man could punch me in the face and I'd suck his dick for it (that is not healthy oops). This lovely little drabble is literally just you getting your ass spanked so raw you won't be able to sit for a week and it's HOT AS HELL

Creep - a Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Joel Miller is your super hot creepy neighbor and he manages to get you to fuck him and that is definitely the only thing going on here. nothing fishy at all. nope. totally normal reader fucks her creepy neighbor fic. (just fucking trust me and read it ok?)

---------------------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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cereal-before-milk · 2 years

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VAGINAS AND JAPAN

What would happen if in a country like Japan, which has a festivity on phallic symbols (Kanamara Matsuri), a woman decides to exhibit art whose main concept is the vagina? Maybe you already know the answer or you can imagine it or maybe not, anyway this is what happened to Megumi Igarashi, a mangaka, artist, sculptor, feminist and activist, whose mission is to free Manko.

❀ MEGUMI IGARASHI

also known by her stage name Rokudenashiko, which means good for nothing, she was born in Shizuoka prefecture, Japan, on March 14, 1972. Unlike her sister, who was a perfect girl, Megumi wasn't a good student, wasn't even good at sports and wasn't a very formal girl either. Igarashi was also bullied, although she was so insensitive that didn't even realize she was being bullied. In 1990 she moved to Tokyo to study philosophy at Kokugakuin University. Shortly after graduating in 1994, she began to devote herself to manga, even winning an award from the Kodansha publishing house in 1998. Making manga made her less and less excited due to the competitiveness, but Igarashi found a refuge in experience reporting manga or of reality (taiken rupo).

In 2002 Megumi got married so she began to introduce her sexual experiences into her works. She created a manga about infidelities (something that happened in their marriage on both sides) and as the society in which she lives they only get angry with women and men are usually forgiven, but very few people in Japan managed it understand, so didn't have many sales. When discussing her sexual experiences, she realized that no female mangaka drew pussys. Megumi says that all the feminist artists' portraits of vaginas she had seen were sad and dark, showing how difficult it is to be a woman, but she wanted to show a more cheerful and colorful vision of the vagina and make it a pop icon, just like the penis in her country.

Igarashi had a complex about her own vagina, as she had never seen another one before and thought her might be abnormal. More or less there came the idea of starting to make molds and art on her vulva. At first the artist was a bit cautious, but when she started receiving a lot of negative reviews and comments like "you must be a really horny girl", she jumped at the idea of dedicating herself to making art with her manko (Japanese slang for refer to vagina).

Megumi wants women to be able to talk about their pussy freely. "Most Japanese women have been brainwashed by their parents since they were children to think that their body, especially their vagina, is obscene. Boys are allowed to talk about the penis easily, even in public, but girls are not allowed. Parents forbid it. I think it leads women to think that our sexual organs are shameful and dirty. If women had more freedom to talk about their vagina, they could ask to use a condom, discuss sexual illnesses, their problems, etc. without being embarrassed, since people feel uncomfortable just hearing man(ko), but the same doesn't happen when they hear the word penis". Verbatim words from her blog 6d745.

❀ MANKO ART

As I said before the main theme of Rokudenashiko's art is her Manko. With that idea always being the center of her artistic concept, she has designed a lot of objects from necklaces, bracelets, to cell phone covers or even a remote-controlled robot.

Within her art collection in 2011 a series was born that she calls Deco-man, which is a play on words between decoration and manko. It basically consists of making molds of her vagina, decorating them and turning them into dioramas where her vagina is subtly camouflaged, like on that golf course or on the moon.

Her star work is a 2 meter Kayak called Pussy Boat. She even cost her freedom to carry it out.

And how can we forget about Manko-chan, her beloved pop icon. A very striking figure with a funny (obviously) slightly anthropomorphic pussy shape that has a manga and a lot of merchandising such as: floats, clothes, figures of different colors, plushies, etc.

She also organizes workshops for women who are interested in learning more about their vagina. And they don't need to bring materials, since Megumi prepares everything.

❀ HOW DID SHE BECOME AN ALLEGED CRIMINAL?

In July 2014, the mangaka was arrested at her home and all her works were seized for violating Japanese law against obscenity. It all begins in 2013 when she wants to raise money through crowdfunding to carry out her star work, a Kayak (pussy boat) with which to take walks.

To all the people who contributed to the project, she sent the data of her vagina so that they could make the 3D project, but despite the fact that it was something artistic / for work, it violated the laws of obscenity, since in Japan it is forbidden to share your private parts. Obviously, Igarashi didn't think her detention was fair at all, since sharing data isn't obscene at all. "My vagina is no different from my legs or my arms," She claimed to the police. And of course it was not fair at all, since the police and the press, from a corrupt system, violated her rights and criminalized Megumi for an act that she didn't even initially have, political, vindictive and far from obscene intentions.

She spent 10 days in jail, during which time a total of 21,000 signatures were collected online to drop the charges against Megumi, and a week later she was released. But on December 3 of that same year, she was arrested again along with Minori Watanabe, a feminist writer and sex shop owner, for displaying an "obscene" object, a plaster replica of Pussy Boat, in Watanabe's store. (everything in a sex shop could be considered obscene, don't bother). On December 24, Igarashi was charged with "exhibition of obscenity", "electromagnetic obscenity recording" and "distribution of electromagnetic obscenity recording medium" and was finally released on bail on the 26th. In 2015 the trials took place to declare her guilty or not guilty.

A couple of curiosities that I have read on her Twitter is that of the 3 judges of the supreme court who handled her case over the years, all were men and in Japan there are also women in the supreme court and also that since she was bored between trial and trial looked for a part-time job.

*a part is not guilty* Photograph: Kazuhiro Nogi

In 2016 she was found not guilty, because as the Kayak had such a striking decoration and color it was difficult to relate it to a pussy. She still had to pay a fine of ¥400,000 (€2,800 / $3,100) for having shared her vagina data and everything that the police had seized from her was returned and Megumi was finally able to navigate her kayak.

Had she been found guilty, she would have faced 2 years in prison and a fine of ¥2.5 million ($19,400/€18,000), a disproportionate punishment considering what she did. In 2021 Megumi Igarashi could already breathe without worry since she had her last trial (she could still have gone to jail), she paid the fine and is finally free. But not everything was a punishment for Igarashi, thanks to the fact that her case went viral and reached many parts of the world, Mike Scott, singer and guitarist of The Waterboys, became interested in her, he is currently her husband and they both had a son. So for Megumi being arrested became a kind of Tinder.

❀ WHAT IS OBSCENITY? 2016

French edition/ spanish edition

Megumi Igarashi narrates in this manga a bit of her life, everything that led her to make art with her vagina, the days she was in prison and the injustices and absurd situations she has experienced.

Obscenity is full of very interesting reflections on the female body and why it is considered obscene. Spoiler alert: because the man only sees them as a sexual object, but Rokudenashiko proves that it is just another body part. "They can be erotic, but they can also be funny, empowering or adorable."

The manga It a strong criticism of Japanese society, although it can also be applied to many others (I think the whole world shares taboos towards the vagina, maybe not in the same way, but in essence). This criticizes hypocrisy, since of course penises and vaginas are not the same, but not only in form and function but also because of how they are treated/represented in society. Megumi questions the reason for this, because the vagina is disgusting and is never portrayed, why it is talked about with disgust or even it seems as if it is forbidden to talk about it because it generates rejection and yet the same thing doesn't happen with the penis.

A couple of details that catch my attention is how the "Good for nothing" hides her anger with humor. In fact, humor is also used to cover up situations of criticism and injustice and thereby demonstrate the strength of the author, she applied the best way to laugh rather than cry. The other detail is how she never gives a conclusion. This manga that borders on the documentary, doesn't have absolute answers, only guidelines through personal experiences so that you can draw your own conclusions and be more or less on her side. She doesn't try to force you to have her same ideals.

What is Obscenity? is an excellent choice if you want to eliminate the taboos that your society has put in your head about the pussy, see the vagina with different eyes, normalize it, appreciate it much more and turn it into something pop.

Just say thank you Megumi Igarashi and FREE MANKO! <3

#feminist #feminism #Megumi igarashi #Rokudenashiko #free manko #3d art #japan #manga #manga recommendation #I love this woman so much

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joesalw · 8 days

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Another ex-swiftie rant here. I had been a fan of hers since her debut album. I fell off the train in 2016 when Reputation came out because I was going through a lot of my own bs and couldn't be bothered to even listen to it. I listened to it after Lover came out and still didn't like it lol Anyways I really adored Lover and Folklore and Evermore so I got back on the swiftie train and I was so excited for everything. I had a feeling when Midnights came out that I was breaking away from the crowd. I didn't like half of the album that was apparently everyone else's favorite songs. (Vigilante Shit is awful, it's just like the majority of Reputation, she tries to make the awful things she does sound cool and it comes off as tone deaf.) Then she goes and dates that half drowned rat during the Eras tour and she was so aggressive about it. Her fans continue to sweep her defending a racist man's actions under the rug. Hasn't she heard the phrase "You are who your friends are"? And the people she hangs out with are drug addicts, racists, rapists, etc... it's really gross. She can say she's a liberal all she wants but she fails to walk the walk time and time again. And then TTPD! Oh boy, I was really skeptical when I saw the release date and album title. I was like "Really? Another sad girl album right before summer? Haven't we had enough angst? We're in a recession, the music should be making people dance!" and then it wasn't even a sad girl album, it was fucking deranged. For someone who's never gone to therapy because she thinks she's "very sane" she comes off as having gone off the deep end when her 6yr relationship ended. She uses something she's never gone through as an aesthetic like a white woman having a plantation wedding. She throws a temper tantrum because the public didn't like her very unlikable boyfriend. She looks like a hypocrite in "so high school", what? The cheerleader dating the football player aethetic is only cute when you do it? A lot of the lyrics were crazy triggering for me because they were basically shit my mom said verbatim when she was dating A LITERAL MURDERER!!! "You all just don't want me to be happy!" Ugh, it made me want to scream. I'm gonna spend the summer dancing to Ava Max and Chappell Roan, maybe stream Joe's movies for kicks. Even though I'm 6 years younger than her, I feel like I've finally outgrown Taylor Swift.

preach!

#anti taylor swift #ex swiftie rants

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snekdood · 11 months

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rewatching that video natalie made about cringe and she gets to a point where shes talking about how there were trans women using “cringe” trans women as examples of Bad Transgenders Which They Are Not and how they’ll go as far as to misgender and dismiss their transition to justify their exclusion. and i really think yall need to read this and internalize it and realize you’re doing this about trans men who talk about our oppression:

(in reference to the video clip she’s responding to, she says;) “Rose… gorg. Jessica Yaniv is not one of "the biggest characters in the world" at any moment. This is not a world historical figure. At the end of the day, this is a more or less random civilian sex fiend off the streets of Vancouver BC. The only reason anyone has heard of her at all, is that Vanessa decided to go full "To Catch a Predator" and turn this grimy reprobate into a minor anti-celebrity. She's not one of the biggest characters in the world. But it sounds like what she is Rose, is one of the important characters in your brain.

This is distorted thinking. It's like A-Log comparing Chris-Chan to Hitler. You're so deep in the morbid cringe obsession that you've lost perspective. And I'm sure you have what seem to you like perfectly logical reasons for devoting so much attention to this. And I know that videos about Yaniv get a lot of views, so I'm sure that's a factor too. But Rose, I also know a morbid cringe obsession when I see one. And I know that being a visible trans woman on the Internet is more difficult than most people can imagine. And I know that pretty much every trans person is bullied or shamed or humiliated at some point in our lives. And I know how good it can feel to take all the horrible things that transphobes and bullies and TERFs have said about us, and repeat those things verbatim about some “big, fat, fake, dangerous, delusional, disgusting male fetishist”.

Oh, it feels good to get to be the TERF for once. It feels good to be the judge rather than the judged. Because when you point the finger at someone else, you're also pointing away from yourself. And it's not lost on me that in conservative circles, queer people are often treated like suspected sex criminals by default. So there's safety in being the one who spearheads the “think-of-the-children” type moral crusade. And when you expose a trans predator, you get that feeling of safety plus the relief of having someone in particular to blame for the shame and the stigma we all feel. Jessica Yaniv is the reason people hate us. But that's just not true. It's a simple answer to a complicated problem. It's scapegoating.

When I look at the Yaniv obsession on trans YouTube, I see a community trying to cope with stigma and hoping that destroying a scapegoat will bring relief. It's basically a blood sacrifice. It's not rational. It feels good for a moment, but it's an addiction. It won't ever erase the stigma and the shame. And Yaniv is simply the latest and most deserving in a long line of bad transgenders who aren't real transgenders and are giving us a bad name and are the reason people hate us and must be condemned and destroyed.

But when Yaniv is finally gone, when you get her sent to prison or whatever your goal is, you're just gonna find a new scapegoat to take her place. And the shame cycle continues. The humiliation and bullying we've experienced is internalized as shame. When we project that shame onto scapegoats and onto each other, it becomes cringing and contempt. And we voice that contempt by shaming other people, which starts a new cycle.

So you can keep finding new scapegoats, new punching bags, new shamedumps, new lolcows, and you can wind up like one of the people who's been archiving Chris-Chan for 13 years. But that will never really heal us.”

‘n i kinda feel like thats whats going on right now....

#contrapoints #transandrophobia #so we're fujoshis yeah? we're just. people with detransition kinks huh?#you married to that position you pos?

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cto10121 · 4 months

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Twilight Clown Takes—Part 4

What is it about YouTube and its breeding ground for Twilight clownery???? Some of it is very basic clownery, too. Also, the fake outrage on behalf of the Quileutes by engaging in racist interpretations of the text is…something else. Regardless, there I came upon the feast, and so I shall eat.

“The Wolves Are Savage” and Other Racisms

What.

You mean those same books that described the vampires in the same way as beasts, who not only growl and roar and snarl, but literally cannot smell blood without going literally crazy like sharks? The same books that described vampires as almost entirely solitary creatures who don’t usually form covens (because then they would turn against each other in competition for their human prey? The same books that had nothing but evil red-eyed vampires (James, Victoria, the Volturi) until the very last book of the series where we are introduced to sympathetic non-vegetarian vampires (Garrett, the Amazonians, etc.)?

Meanwhile the werewolves keep their reason and intelligence intact while they’re in their wolf forms and do not suffer from bloodlust. Their dangerousness comes from their youth and inexperience in shifting—the oldest of the pack is Sam at 18 and he was literally the first and only one to do it without help.

The books adore the Cullens. But it makes it damn clear that they (and the Denalis) are the exceptions that prove the rule. Otherwise Twilight vampires are sociopathic beasts and, as Edward explicitly said in book one, the Quileutes are right to keep their distance. And no, this wasn’t by accident or ~bad writing. Meyer is deliberate in her framing, as well as her characterization of the wolves.

Tfw your accusation of racism is racist

Bella asked Jacob if he could stop being a werewolf because she mistakenly thought him and his wolf buddies were literally killing people. When she learned otherwise, she was literally, “Oh, no, Jake, I’m fine with you turning into a giant wolf. That doesn’t bother me at all.” (This is near VERBATIM, not even joking). Bella is a monsterfucker, after all. She’s just not into that kind of bestiality.

Tfw your accusation of racism is racist

Yes, because imprinting is something the wolves 100% have control over and it’s something they can reject. There is nothing random about imprinting at all.

Otherwise—once again—the wolves have vastly more control over their wolf forms than the vampires over their thirst (the Cullens and Denalis excepted). And of course, their body counts are close to zero—compare them to the Cullens and Denalis. Only Sam has injured another human and that was by accident. Even the hothead Paul has no kills or injuries, whereas his counterpart Emmett has at least three.

MORMONISM OMG

Because Mormonism is the only religion that values and reveres close family ties. Only Mormonism supports the patriarchal family and believes in the organization of society through the familial unit. Only Mormonism is heteronormative and actively homophobic. No other culture or religion gives a fuck.

(Also, the Prodigal Son??? Literally the most common and basic Biblical allusion ever. Literally every major writer has alluded to it, including Shakespeare. It is not just a Mormon thing, oh God 😭😭😭😭😭😭 This kind of clownery eats itself).

Bella Hate Dumb Round ♾️

Bella turned down Mike and told him explicitly that it would hurt Jessica’s feelings if she went with him to the dance. She did go to La Push with him and her friends and was happy that it was “so easy” to please Mike. She rescued Angela from having to answer Jessica’s annoying questions about Eric by changing the subject. She helped Angela and Jessica find dresses and explicitly enjoyed their girls’ night out in Port Angeles. She had zero opinion on Lauren until she overheard her shit talking Bella (literally) behind her back. She listened to Jessica’s date with Mike and was glad it went all right.

Bella being mean to her friends is clownery so easily debunked—at worst, she is not particularly close to any of them except Angela. If she was reserved or distant with them, it was because she hates any and all attention to herself, period. It was her first day at a new school where everyone knew each other, and was already overwhelmed with introductions and learning her schedule and teachers’s and classmates’s names. The behavior Edward notices in Midnight Sun does not go against her character in Twilight at all and is a continuation of this self-abnegating tendency.

Edward literally went to Italy to get himself killed by the vampire elite and explicitly said that he could not live in a world where Bella did not exist. Before that, he basically admitted that when he wasn’t hunting Victoria he curled up into a ball and let the despair take him. Meanwhile Bella did not consider suicide (though ~just barely) because of Charlie and Renée. After her one week coma period she did make an effort at keeping up appearances, which included getting all A’s even in her weakest subject, Calculus.

It’s disgusting, all right: A male character who cannot live without his woman. What kind of a message is that sending to our poor impressionable boys???!!!!!

Didn’t Edward literally stop murdering child molesters and pedophiles because his conscience got to him that it was, indeed, still murder? And didn’t at least one clown still complain about how Mormon it was of him to care for human life? Now the clowns insist Edward doesn’t care about humans and humanity at all.

Even if Edward did care only about Carlisle’s disappointment, it wasn’t because he considers himself his perfect son. If anything Edward suffers from the same kind of self-esteem issues as Bella—in New Moon, he flatly denies Aro’s praise/assertion that his self-control puts Carlisle to shame. Edward thinks of Carlisle because he loves Carlisle like a father and thinks the world of him. He did save him from permanent death, after all.

#twilight #twilight clownery #twilight clown takes #anti anti twilight #damn the vitriol toward mormonism is incredible #i’m an atheist so all religions are bollocks to me #we don’t even know how observant meyer is #because honestly a lot of twilight goes against the religious conservatism

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bettsfic · 24 days

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hi it’s me again! i finished the kennedy book half an hour ago and i am still reeling.

you weren’t kidding about the last chapters. like the farewell party is a bittersweet anecdote, but then the epilogue is just absolutely crushing. what a brutal note to end on. the true endpoint is the paragraph in the acknowledgements where he thanks his coauthor for freeing him from the emotional prison he was in. phrase practically verbatim. like oh my god.

that thing you said about what’s not said really did nail the sort of very careful sidestepping of….giving his opinions, maybe? there is just a very deliberate sort of distance with which he describes any events, and so you really notice the barest hints of something more. (more than anyone can ever know, mr. hill? care to elaborate??? it’s the implication that they kept many secrets together and also his enduring loyalty to her that keeps us from learning hardly any of them.) i was reminded of the perception of the kennedys as american royalty because he really talks about her like she was a queen. jackie kennedy through his lens is beautiful and gracious and willful and truly given the royal treatment.

speaking of the royalty metaphor, aristotle onassis is two steps from being a mustache-twirling villain hoping that our brave knight clint hill dies a watery death under a yacht??? unprompted??? like, man. come on. honestly there’s a fascinating emotional thread in here about how he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first.

anyway. this is a long ask. sorry. i feel like i should have something profound to say about the assassination chapters because of how significant the event is in history but i don’t yet. i probably sound unhinged but man. this was real life and this is how he chose to tell this story. what even was that.

THANK YOU.

re: last chapters: i want to look into what happened between him and his coauthor (they're married now!) but i haven't yet. i'm still feeling my feelings about the whole thing. can you imagine not reading the acknowledgements?? the acknowledgements that provide the only ounce of comfort amid the hurt of the last third of the book??

re: "MORE THAN ANYONE CAN EVER KNOW": i purposefully haven't shared that quote because divorced from its context you don't get the impact. to me that says he either totally had a thing with her but won't talk about it because he's an honorable man, in the same way he won't offer any kind of "no yeah the warren report was bullshit and the shots came from two different directions" confirmation, or he wants us to *think* something happened even if it didn't. i mean it's not like it was a secret that JFK and Jackie had affairs with other people. a great many of those people have written memoirs specifically about boning one or more of the Kennedys. so many in fact that it's basically a subgenre.

also there's some irony in the way he depicts Jackie. she didn't like to be written about. at all. ever. and there's more than one instance where he's, you know, an 80 year old man being a bit patronizing (in an otherwise very sensitively and thoughtfully written book), with all the mentions of mischief and little-girlishness. and so i keep thinking about how Jackie would have felt about this particular depiction, which despite the glossy nostalgia over the whole thing and I Love Lucy-esque antics, is a pretty nuanced depiction, at least compared to others i've read. he manages to revere her, nearly worship her, but still portray her vices, not as faults but as even more reasons he loved her. i don't know, man. it just feels weird to stumble upon a true story of what i thought were fictional feelings.

re: "he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first": HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT. i'm still thinking about that scene where he takes the film out of that photographer's camera and JFK is just like, "ummm we can't make it seem like we're denying the press access to us, so we're gonna have to blame you," which prompted Hill to question his professional loyalty to the president against his personal loyalty to Jackie, and also it made me think, what would happen if he had to shoot someone? would he get blamed for that too? was he really only there as a human shield, able to protect but not truly defend?

re: "what even was that": WHAT EVEN WAS THAT.

#i'm still not even a little bit over this #dazzle

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