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#please god ive seen what youve done for others
strawberryspence · 1 year
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happy birthday, @withacapitalp! i hope im not that late! i am so glad to be your friend and i am glad you were born. ily! long islands on me! 🥂🍾💗
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There’s this damn spring festival in Indianapolis. It’s pretty popular among young-ins and people from small towns come to visit it every year. There are local vendors, activities, mini concerts. It’s where Eddie thrives the most, he has gone every year since he can remember.
His first mistake was mentioning it to Dustin. The second was agreeing to his insistent pleading if he could come with Eddie to Indy.
Because after Eddie finally said yes. The news— unsurprisingly— reaches El, and wherever El goes, Will goes, and of course, wherever Will goes Mike goes. Then Max hears and also wants in and of course, Lucas also wants to go. So now, it’s the whole damn party. Of course, he can’t handle all the kids. So now, all the adult kids are coming too.
And listen, he thinks they’re all great. But he’s been wanting to get out of Hawkins and away from them to just— breathe. Also, that’s a lie. Eddie doesn’t want to get away from them. He specifically wants to get away from Steve fucking Harrington and all the confusing feelings he have for the very straight man.
Of course, that doesn’t work out.
Because now they're stuck in the middle of a crowd. Eddie has never really understood why people said they felt like a sardine in a can, but right now, he fully understands. He should have known it was going to be busy. It was a Saturday and it’s one of the biggest festivals in town.
He will never say it, but Eddie thanks Steve’s very strong maternal instinct. He can worry for himself right now, because he knows the kids are together due to the very strict buddy system Steve instituted. Now they just have to get to the damn corn dog stand, which Steve declared as their meet up place.
“Eddie.” Eddie whips his head to see Steve staring intently at him. Oh yeah, Steve’s his buddy. “We have to get out of here.”
Eddie nods faintly but doesn’t answer. He has to keep his breathing in check. They’re fine, and the kids are fine. There’s a crowd but they're not after the kids. They're not after Eddie. They’re not after him. It's not an angry mob. Not after him for killing Chrissy. Not—
“Eds.” Steve pushes against the people to get to him. His brown eyes track his face before he sighs in worry, “Hold my hand.”
“What?” Eddie croaks out in disbelief.
Steve looks around, before whispering, "Baby, I think you're one step away from a panic attack. It's too fucking crowded."
And before Eddie can say anything else, Steve captures his hand into his. He doesn't intertwine them together because they're still in public and though they're in the city, it's always good to be safe. But Steve still holds Eddie's hand so tightly, like he's afraid that Eddie's going to vanish from his sight.
"Don't let go, okay?" Steve asks, which is ridiculous, and crazy. Because now that Eddie's holding his hand, clasped together like two ends of the same parenthesis, he doesn't think he could ever let go.
Eddie nods, and Steve pulls him in front of him, shielding him with his arms so people won't bump into him. It weirdly feels like a hug. If he has to describe it, he will say it feels exactly like the moment Wayne hugged him after he came out to him. It's safety, warmth, and overwhelming love and protection.
Steve maneuvers around the crowd like a pro. He dodges people without hitting them and takes them out of the fucking crowd in the middle of the market.
Before he knows it, they're out of the crowd and sitting on a bench. His breathing is finally getting better, but Steve still hasn't let go of his hand. Not when he bought Eddie a drink, not when he instructed Eddie to breathe with him, not when the kids came and asked what was wrong, only to be shooed away.
Eddie's not sure why he's so shaken to the core by this certain touch. He's always been the touchy-feely one. He throws an arm on Steve's shoulders, pats his head when Steve does something ridiculously adorable, and nudges him by the ribs when he says something funny. Steve's never initiated touch, Robin says it's because of the "complete lack of love and care from his parents."
But Steve's right here. Squatting in front of him. Holding his hand as he waits for Eddie to calm down. Looking at him like he— loves him. How could Steve ever be the product of lack of love and care, when he seems to have an abundance of it?
"You doing better, Eds?" Steve asks, his eyes are bright against the lights. He's looking at Eddie like Eddie's something to be cared for, to be loved, like he's something precious.
Eddie wants Steve to look at him like this. Selfishly, he wants to have it for the rest of his fucking life.
Eddie blinks at him, and accidentally, intentionally, stupidly, spits out, "I think I am in love with you."
Steve freezes. He blinks at him.
The world behind them slows down. There's a kid winning a prize a few stalls down, and a man bargaining for a vase on the other end. Someone's order is ready at the food stand and someone just won the bingo. There's a band playing and they're fucking playing Whitesnake's Is This Love.
It's one of those simple, but beautiful moments. Those that make you feel like you're nothing but a small particle in this big, vast world. Eddie basks in those moments sometimes.
However, at that moment, Eddie doesn't. If Steve looks at him like that for the rest of his life, Eddie doesn't think he'll ever feel small again.
He lets the world fade into a quiet noise. Nothing else matters. Nothing, but Steve Harrington.
He just stares at Steve. He just stares as Steve's face breaks into the biggest smile he has ever seen and it quite literally feels like watching a sunflower grow right in front of him. It's a smile that overflows, from the way he beams at him, from the way his eyes wrinkle, the way his nose crinkles.
Eddie's never seen Steve smile this big before and its damn beautiful.
"You sure about that?" Steve asks. There's insecurity in it, but also hope.
Eddie's never been this sure about anything else in his life, so he says, "Yes."
Steve softens, "Alright. That's good."
"How is that good?" Eddie whispers.
"Because, I—" Steve turns over their hands on his lap, and finally— finally— intertwines them. And shit, maybe there is a God, because this feels sacred, a love made just for the two of them.
"Because, I think I am also in love with you."
"I wish I can kiss you here," Eddie says, making Steve laugh, and it spills out of his body so beautifully Eddie wants to keep doing it for the rest of his life.
"Slow down, cowboy," Steve giggles, but the way he tightens his hold on Eddie's hand tells the opposite of his statement.
"Steve! Eddie! Look at this!" Dustin screams from the nearby booth, where El just won him a teddy bear.
"Yeah, you have to come. El's not doing anything. It's just pure talent!" Lucas sarcastically shrieks back.
In the background, El's giggling like crazy. Which 100% means she's using her magic. Eddie can't help but smile at the kids. He's glad he bought them with him to have fun.
Steve immediately stands up at that, their hands breaking apart at the motion. "Oh God. I told her not to use her powers." Steve's about to rush to them— maternal instincts and whatnot— before he stops in his tracks and turns to Eddie.
Steve softens, holding out his hand to Eddie. Eddie takes it without hesitation.
"Don't let go?" Steve asks.
Eddie stares at him, before he whispers a vow just for the two of them, "I won't. I promise."
True to his word, he doesn't let go. Not ever.
Eddie has no intention of ever letting Steve go.
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letgomypartypiece · 18 days
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PLEASE LORD HAVE MERCY IM CLAWING AT THE WALLS RN
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artificialdogs · 3 months
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Kalos fans are finally winning after 10 long years im gonna cry
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izzyshandz · 8 months
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I swear if i see one more mf say izzy has been 'redeemed' or needed a 'redemption arc' im literally going to scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.
redeem is such a black and white way of looking at his entire character and dismisses everything hes gone through and yall (izzy haters and others) are just so fucking snob nosed and ignorant to sit there and think hes a villain because of how he acted. theyre fucking pirates. theyre not perfect, none of them are. eds a villain, stedes a villain, if youre doing it like that. ed has killed so many people, stede literally left his wife and kids and also had a hand in killing people; it may be easier for them to change because of the perspective the show gives them and they had love but izzy did not. everyone hated him, ed, his own crew, stedes crew.
normalizing peoples reactions to things as something other than villainy and heroism is so god damn important in a show that's trying to accurately involve our perspectives in this day and age. its a tale as old as time, making someone 'completely in the wrong' because their perspective isnt the one you aligned with as much.
like the rest of the crew izzy had his own bad things hes done, he didnt need this 'redemption' everyones blabbering on about. he needed to be fucking heard, to be seen, and acknowledged-- not thrown aside and abandoned because of a whim. you all can ride up blackbeards ass because oh hes so hot, hes so pretty omg wow; but that wont ever change the fact his character is a fucked up person... youre allowed to love him anyways, why not izzy? we didnt see blackbeard before screen but how hes mentioned it shows he was a shit awful person, the only reason no one cares is because on hes fuckin gay for stede or whatever so the main characters get a free ride. ( i agree they all get a free ride, im just tired of this izzy isolation man )
why does he need to be redeemed in your eyes? just because youve seen what hes done? he was literally a product of his environment in season one he was a product of blackbeard's leadership. only with the loyalty and solidarity of the crew did he really begin to find himself, thats fucking hard to do that late in life. instead of calling it some bullshit black and white redemption arc, lets just celebrate izzy being himself and being fucking loved for once in his god damn life.
hes also way more fucking mature and put together than people give him credit for. love you izzy.
edit: thank you all for the reblogs and insights in every single one, i read them i promise i do. im just so mf heartbroken we have to tag things as discourse when its really just about people not being compassionate. (as a couple people have pointed out) i will said id reblog and comment on every single tag but this is my side </3 EVERYONE PLEASE READ THE REBLOGGED TAGS TOO / / theyre so real ! ive also opened up that ask box thingy i havent been on tumblr in yrs and have 0 clue how any of that works if anyone wants my perspective on anything izzy related. *or otherwise ofmd related
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blueluneacy · 7 months
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its time for my yearly post, real
ive been thinkin about dottore genshin impact lately. hes so silly :) did more of a horror aspect bc i like horror??? idk if youve been around long enough youll notice my slow descent into more horror based writings. but its ok, i like it!
on one hand you might be able to consider this yandere. on the other i think this is just how il dottore is in my mind. just a little creep. i wonder if hes single
tw: manipulation, blackmail, implied human experimentation
You were nothing to him. 
In some way or another, you knew that. You knew that you were lowly in comparison to him. You were a student, barely half way into a thesis while he was well… It’s hard to define what he was. An outcast, but a genius. Something out of your grasp, intangible and arcane. Maybe that’s what originally got you interested. You’re a student after all, driven by curiosity and a need for knowledge. Perhaps he liked that about you too. 
It was also that which was forbidden that intrigued you. That which you had seen scholars go mad for, he held in the palm of his hand. Things that you knew that were forbidden were always so delicious, weren’t they? You indulged in them, in what he could give you. It’s not as thought you didn’t give what you could in return, but really, what could you give a man whose power rivaled the gods? You should’ve known better. Your tutors, your peers, everyone could’ve warned you, did warn you, but you chose not to listen. 
After all, he did tell you that this version of himself was the most selfish. 
Perhaps then it wasn’t strange that you never saw what happened next coming. When he told you that it was time to leave Sumeru, you were shocked, almost baffled at the proposal. 
“I can’t just leave everything. I’m still working on my thesis, my friends are here, I still have things to do here.” You told him, as if your words would do you any good. He merely smiled at you, shaking his head as if your points were silly, meaningless. 
“I think you’ll find your research coming to a halt very soon regardless of if you leave or not. It seems that some restructuring will begin to take place here very shortly. It would be best if you were to leave, while you still had your dignity intact.” He always made himself sound so… Reasonable. It was something you once admired about him, but now, it was grating on your nerves. How easily he tossed aside your concerns. Had he always done that, trivialized the words you were saying like this?
“I can’t just give it all up. I’d hate myself if I did that. You should already know, that’s not the type of person I am. This is my life’s work.” You told him, immediately turning your back to him. He only gave you a small chuckle, shaking his head. 
“Oh please. It was an average thesis that’s frankly, derivative and uninteresting. Not to mention your advisor is about to lose his job. You don’t really think it’s worth it just to work 10 more years on something new once the dust settles, do you?” He made broad steps to close the distance between the two of you, leaning over your shoulder. You had always known that the man was much larger than you, but it was the first time you noticed that it made you nervous. Perhaps that was the first time you acknowledged him for what he really was. Not as a friend or a lover, but as the Doctor, a powerful, dangerous man. 
“Even so, I’m a student here at the Akademiya. I can’t pick up and leave just because you told me to. The answer is no.” You had to firm with him. If you weren’t, if you just went with him, you had a feeling that you would end up as nothing but a puppet, a pretty doll to look at for the rest of your life. What a shame that you hadn’t realized such a fact before it was too late. 
“Is that so?” He seemed more amused than he was angry. You winced as he leaned against you from behind, draping his arms over your shoulder in a way that he perhaps meant to be affectionate but felt more imprisoning with his inhuman strength. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. You shuddered as you felt his breath against you , a pit of fear forming in your stomach that threatened to come out as a scream. 
“And what are your plans as to what happens next? I’m sure that everyone would love to know how interested you’ve been with the things I’ve taught you these past few months. How interested you’ve been in that which you knew to be forbidden.” You froze at his words. Was… That his plan all along? To lure you in, and then blackmail you into never leaving? “Do you really think you could just get away with a slap on the wrist for this? Something as horrid as this, well, I doubt there would be must hesitation to sign your expulsion papers.”
“You… Why? Why are you doing this? Why me?” You could’ve help but let your questions tumble out of your mouth. You felt betrayed, but why? Shouldn’t you have always known the nature of this man? How he takes and takes, giving nothing in return. How absolutely foolish.
“Ah, look at that expression! How fascinating. I wonder, what else could I do to induce these emotions in you? Such lovely features being distorted with such despair…”  He cooed, running his hand over your cheek to wipe away a tear. When did you start crying? You reached up to feel your own tears, attempting to brush the Doctor’s hand away at the same time. 
“We’ll have plenty of time to look at more of your reactions once we reach home. I look forward to our continued work together once we reach Snezhnaya.” As his words reached your ears, you finally broke out of your fog, pulling away from the Doctor. You backed up a bit, but he so easily seemed to just step forward once more, not giving you any space. 
“I don’t care. Even if I become an outcast, I’ll bare with it. I… I can *redeem* myself, I won’t just let you take me away to some lab in a bunker somewhere to do who knows what to me!” You shuddered as thoughts raced through your mind of what might happen. Of how he might cut you open, the fluids he could pour into your body, the *agony* he could cause for you only to stitch you back together. You knew of the consequences though. Why are you so surprised when the chickens come home to roost?
For his part, the Doctor only laughed, leaning down and grabbing you by the chin. His grip was hard, and in the back of your mind you wondered if bruises would form later. He forced you to look up at him, examining your expression with a sort of cold clinical air that you should’ve been used to with him by now. 
“Oh, my dear… You act as though you ever really had a choice.” 
Despite your best attempts, the dam finally broke, and you let out a scream as the horror of the man in front of you finally set in. You thrashed, squirmed, cried, begged, pleaded, did anything you could think of to try and escape this, this agonizing situation that you only had yourself to blame for. 
And for his part, all the Doctor did was laugh. 
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sucker4sixx · 1 month
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Raising hell
Pt:8
Plot: nikki turns and you see a side to him you thought was only reserved for people be hated
Warnings: fat shaming, body shaming, humiliation, vomit
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You wake up still cuddled into nikkis cosy chest while he sleeps, you take the time to watch him, his handsome face showing peace that youve never quite seen him display before, it was a sunny day and you didnt have to play tonight.. it was seemed too good to be true.
Nikki wakes up 10 minutes later, rubbing his large hand over his face “hmm.. morning darlin” he says hoarsely, smiling down at you with a slightly puffy face from sleeping “morning nikki.. how did you sleep?” “Just fine.. just fine..” he sits up and looks around for his clothes, deciding wether or not to shove on his clothes from yesterday.
Once you are both up you decide to go down to breakfast but as soon as nikki sees his band sitting his attitude changes, he distances and straightens up, acting like he doesnt know your there. You sit on a table for two but watch as nikki loudly and ungraciously sits with his band, laughing and talking disruptively. You thought he was going to sit with you but you knew how much he wanted to keep you two on the downlow.
“Hey, whats with the fat chick anyway? What happened?” Vince asks loudly, wanting you to hear, nikki gulping nervously, knowing you could hear. “Just.. you know, tried to see how little her self respect could go and fucked the shame into her” he grins wide “and trust me.. her respect goes low, lower than i thought” your heart sinks completely “whats she like with no clothes on?” Tommy asks excitedly, nikki smiling so he can play off the situation “… fatter” the table laugh loudly and suddenly your plate doesnt look as good as it did so you leave, tears streaming down your face.
On your crying fit up to your hotel room you bump into stu “hey! Ive been meaning to talk to you about it you and nikki-“ “just shut the fuck up stu! No one cares!” You scream in his face, running to your hotel room. You shouldve listened to mel, maybe you were just a stupid little girl. Only an hour later your door was getting knocked and you could hear nikki urgently calling you from the other side.
“Babe.. baby just open the door.. please” you ignore him, thinking he would go away but he just tries the door handle more thinking it will change anything. You swing the door open “i am not your baby!” You point your finger in his face making him step back. “No, dont say that.. let me in we can talk about this” you scoff “about what? You calling me a fat bitch?”
“Babe i didnt call you a fat bitch-“
“you werent far off it!” He grabs your shoulders and forces himself in your room “you have to stop being so god damn sensitive!” He shouts and slams the door. “You are fat! Is it such a crime to point it out?!” He points to your belly, you look down and your size seems to grow by 1000 “im not fat! I only wear size 12!” He crosses his arms over his chest and you begin to cry, why does he care so much? Why is it such a big issue to him? “leave..” he quickly leaves, not wanting to deal with your tears.
When he leaves you hear his friends chuckling quietly in the hall way and noticed he had left a note on the floor, you pick it up and it reads “im sorry, they are behind this” it didnt change much, he still said it all and done it for his friends entertainment.
Two days later its time for the show, you arrive and hide into your dressing room instantly, not wanting anyone to see you. Your dressing room door knocks “hello? Who is it?” “Its nikki baby, i got us some snacks” you scoff “leave. Im not your baby.” He goes silent for a few seconds before you hear footsteps leaving your door. When it gets to your band preforming your not as energetic as usual and when it gets to snake eyed love you go to the side of the stage, nikki waiting beside your manager, you turn off the mic.
“Stu i dont wanna do the lap dance, im skipping it” stu shakes his head and nikki looks confused “no, you will do it. Your costing me money are you crazy?!” The wide man starts to get defensive and angry. “Nikki cmon” you dont even look at him, strutting back on stage with him.
“Hello!” You say to the crowd, smiling “so.. my friend nikki has been a very bad boy recently, very bad and i dont think he deserves the dance.. but, my manager told me to do it for the money so fuck it right?” The crowds cheering dies down alittle, its obvious your upset “sit.” You glare at nikki as he sits down, you park your ass right on his lap “lets hope i dont break your legs by being too fat” you whisper in his ear “right, start the music” you say into the mic, flipping round so your already facing nikki, grinding on him while gripping his hair with one hand. He frowns as he watches you knowing how much you hate him right now.
Once the song gets to the solo you move into nikkis ear “this is the last time this will happen.. i want nothing to do with you from now on” he shakes his head “no.. please dont say that” “i mean it.” You move back and his eyes are glassy as you continue to sing, his hands gripping and feeling your body to savour it once more.
When the song ends the crowd go crazy, you bow and leave the stage, ignoring stu as he screamed at you, mel trying to pull you aside, and nikki wanting to “talk things out” .You just keep walking faster and faster untill you clock back in and your alone, outside a night club. You walk in and within the next hour your feeling pretty drunk, shots and whiskey your go to.
Three hours later your drunkly stumbling around the hotel and get to your room, you look to nikkis room and decide “fuck it”
“Hello?” He opens the door sleepily, when he sees you his eyes wide “baby? Whats happened?” You scoff and stumble alittle “i wanted.. t-to.. tell you that..” you breathe heavily as you try to stay still, nikki helping you by holding your shoulders “y.. your mean.. and… “ you boak, needing to be sick. Nikki quickly runs you to his bathroom and ties your hair back “hey its okay..” he pats your back. “S-s.. stop.. being, so nice-“ you throw up in the toilet “where were you?” He asks, rubbing your back as you throw up “i-i.. dont know”
30 minutes later your no longer being sick and nikki washes your face and gives you water before helping you to his bed “n-no.. i wanna go.. to my room” your eyes flutter shut “no baby.. i need to keep an eye on you” he kisses your forehead and strokes your belly “am i really fat?” You begin to cry “no.. your curvy and i love your body i swear.. im so sorry” he turns his face away as if hes crying but your eyes are too heavy to stay up, falling asleep fast.
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angelcloves · 11 months
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thank u for the tag in this lil writing game @enchantedchocolatebars
1. What motivates you to write?
if i dont write ill just flat out go crazy it needs to get out of my brain
2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud of; if not, share a line from someone else's work that you love (just make sure to give credit
ive written so much and cant be bothered to pick a favorite line so heres an excerpt from burning bridges
“Camilla Myles, may I see you in the throne room?” The air was cold, but it dropped a few degrees chillier as the Emperor receded into his lofty throne room once more and soft chatter broke out amongst the scouts. They each spoke of Camilla, but none to Camilla. She stood paralyzed in the line for what felt like hours. She’d been a scout for two years without even a single warning on her record. She couldn’t imagine what she’d done to warrant being called straight to the throne room, but she didn’t want to keep the Emperor waiting. It never ended well for the Golden Guard when he made Belos wait.
3. Which OC makes you smile when you think/talk about them and what are they like?
all of them but lately ive had annie on the brainacle. shes cold and quiet but god she loves her friends more than anything even if shes just got the one and they end up with a major wedge driven between them for most of the story
4. Which process of writing do you enjoy the most?
planning! its the part i get to go absolutely bonkers during. im a huge fan of broad strokes so shaping things before i start real development hell is a super fun activity
5. Which part of writing do you think you're best at? (Stroke your own ego, it's okay)
ive always seen myself as a dialogue person from my time writing for stage but i think my foreshadowing has been getting better lately
6. What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?
im going to treat writeblr here as my mutual circle but god i love that we bounce ideas off of each other so often
7. A writing tool/device that helps you with writing (i.e. text-to-speech, a program, etc...)
comic sans
8. A piece of world-building that you like in your own story (it could be the magic system, a particular place, a law, etc...)
all of the hopper stuff honestly. it was funny how well it translated to the collector even before we knew what they were really made of
9. What piece of advice would you give to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
try a different approach. sometimes it helps to make a major departure from your norm. pick up poetry or work under a set of constraints youve never given yourself before. it helps to come into something fresh yknow
10. Tag some people whose work you love/ have been your biggest supporters
the GANG
@blackyote
@emsprovisions
@sapphic--kiwi
@secretly-of-course
and also everyone else who i forgot because i know thats not all of you please dont take it personally im just scatterbrained this is for all of you
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godsjauntiestjester · 9 months
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pray i get this job. please pray i get this job. its bussing/hosting but please pray for the homie. god hear my prayer for ive seen what youve done for others. if i get this job im embroidering a lil wall decoration that says "fuck yeah brother we bussin (tables)" upon my first paycheck i kid ye not
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aeirs-moved · 2 years
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thinking about the helicopter fight again PLEASEEEE god ive seen what youve done for others broooooo please Please pleaseeeee
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myownprivatcidaho · 3 years
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im sorry but user ************ is SO annoying and gross lmao literally have their url blacklisted thats the only person ive had to do that with fucking DISGUSTING
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xgryffinwhore · 3 years
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september nights
request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught
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warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.
word count: 2118
before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.
through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.
“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 
he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 
he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.
he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:
“bill!”
his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”
smack.
your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.
the rest is basically history.
now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 
when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 
bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 
it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.
“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”
 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”
you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 
you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.
“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.
“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”
you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 
you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.
“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.
“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.
“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.
“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”
you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 
bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.
“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”
he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 
he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”
he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.
he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 
he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 
you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 
without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 
“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”
“i love you too bill.”
he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”
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maybemountains · 2 years
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Reasons Why Everyone Should Watch Drawtectives:
(aka - a passing thought kickstarted my brainrot for drawtectives again and i just needed to yell abt it someone else please go here with me)
(no cut bc im on mobile and sont understand how tumblr work! Apologies!)
1. If you know drawfee that should already be a sign that drawtectives is just /so fun/ and /very/ funny and chaotic and already that should be enough tbh
2. Julia has so clearly put so much care into this show and like?? the art??? everything, (especially from the new season bc that's fresher in my mind) that she'll prep and then just Not Use bc the others just ignore it??? Yall its so good and there's so much xare put into it and just-
3. It is truly one of the only shows ive ever watched that has me in tears from laughter during like, most of the episodes. Its genuinely so funny and good yall
4. Have i mentioned that i love all the PCs? Please theyre so good yall. Like i just,,,,, i live grandma and york and rose all so much theyre just /so/ good.
5. York Lore. That's it. If youve ever improvised lore for a character and then had to stick with it? That. Its so good.
5.5. Jacob starting to read smth and then going "I CANT FUCKING READ" bc he decided once that york cant read and now has to stick with it & its truly one of the funniest things ever i love it so much
6. Eugene is literally the prettiest boy ive ever seen amd also I love him and yall do you know how hard it is to get me to have brain rot over male characters???
6.5. I was never really an art person so i dont really draw HOWEVER, the Two Men i would like to get good enough to draw are Apollo Justice of Ace Attorney Fame and Eugene Drawtectives. I cannot understate how rare it is to get me attached to make characters and YET Julia has managed to do exactly that with her wonderful son
7. Have I mentioned how much effort and love goes into this show?? Genuinely, every episode I watch I'm like "god I hope Julia knows how much I adore this" like just- YALL. Its so good and so much work goes into and every episode has me in literal awe? Like,,, Do you ever watch a show and it leaves you with the feeling of like, if you werent terrified of the internet/people that you would find a way to @ the creator(s) and just tell them how much you love their show bc it makes you happy and it has you going feral every new episode and you just want them to know that their effort and work on the show is extremely appreciated? Yeah, Drawtectives makes me feel that literally every episode.
8. Jancy!! I love her. I miss her. Drawtectives is worth to watch just for her tbh
9. Have I mentioned that the PCs are all basically in a qpr/relationship/something and that theyve all adopted Eugene as their son yet? yall i dunno how to describe it but it's good shit. They're best friends and they're in love and I love them & will absolutely die on this hill okay? They're a FAMILY and I love them
10. I am not someone who rewatches media easily. I have considered rewatching drawtectives more than once.
11. I keep coming back to this but yall its the amount of work and effort put into this show that really gets me. Bc its like, its like watching an actual play, so already y'know there's work going in there. But then you have the fact that this isnt just dnd and a podcast or dnd and its recorded with cameras like there's art and assets and the mouths are animated to move and the faces change and- like there's little animations done to match the vibe visually and its so good and i can only imagine it takes like forever and it's just. I keep coming back to the work that goes into it bc thats genuinely part of what i appreciate? Like its a good show and i love it and I'd love it regardless, but theres smth abt all the effort that goes into it that just makes me more *gently holds* abt the show, yk?
Just,,,, yall this show is so fun and it makes me happy and i have had so much brainrot for the show recently like very "I'll have one passing thought and think abt it again" and i just,,,, it's so good. I need more people to go here so i can subject people to my stupid headcanons more often,,, please,,,
(also! If it sweetens the deal at all, drawtectives s2 (current ongoing season) can be watched without s1! you may miss a couple of references here and there but thats abt it!)
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so hand tattoos fade pretty quick and need regular maintience if you want them to stick right ? alright CONSIDER, you work in a tattoo parlor and Hanma has been a regular there for years getting Sin and Punishment touched up. youve seen him plenty, but never had the chance to work on him as he tended to stick with one artist until one day he comes in for his touch-ups only to be told that his regular artist had called out that day and wouldnt be available. his eyes skate over the shop and land on you "what about her?" thats how you end up him in your chair, trying to focus so intently on the hum of the tattoo gun as to not completely fuck up the clean edge of the kanji. years of watching him, and now you hand him here, in your station and you couldnt work up the nerve to even make polite conversation. "do you do piercings, doll?" --- fuck fuck fuck. fumbling with the clamp on the table you hear his deep chuckle behind you. this fucker was enjoying your nerves. "sure youve done this before?" you shoot him a quick glare over your shoulder as you turn to face him. "yes ive done this before. now shut up, and stick your tongue out" "you could at least buy me dinner first, sweetheart" defiant, but allowing his tongue to loll out. "this is gonna pinch" you say under your breath as you slip the clamp on and position the needle. a deep breath in and press, the needle slips in and though, the ball stud falling into place. Hanma's eyes not leaving yours for a moment through the process. sliping the clamp off you step away, watching as Hanma straitened his shoulders and stood up. "ive had worse. now, i believe i mentioned dinner"
sorry for the wait i had to get dinner. anyway have fun with my like 20 minutes of thoughts
Okay so first, @ Hanma, i swear to fucking god using hand lotion (with SPF) will nOT FUCKING KILL YOU. Alright. it WON'T. JUST DO IT. ugh to have those glorious, prb veiny hands in mine,,,,,under mine,,,, to stab them repeatedly with ink LOL
not him being that good with pain /shudder/ oh my gufckoing mgod
oh my god this is really a whole fic skeleton now oh my god. I think I short circuited.
But hear me out, he can't really eat a proper dinner at the moment, you remind him. so he settles for paying, plus your number an a raincheck on dinner. his tip is like idk a couple 10,000 yen bills and like a solid mf diamond cufflink Shuji stole off another admin for the lols. Luckily, your shift is over and you can reel over the insane generosity of the lanky man.
Wait, doll, where you're going? Bike's this way you were going home, he had you number, what was he playing at? Well, a man like Shuji always comes prepared with a loophole. Because ice cream isn't off limits and he has no intentions of letting you go without a treat.
Shuji's back in like a week, asking for a new tattoo piece, opting early on to do it in long 6 hour session. He wanted to monopolize your time. He takes a liking to teasing you for sport, riles you up or tries to tempt you to laugh so you have to stop the tattoo to relax your hands (and extend his session time).
Shuji's session gets extended by 2 hours and your other regular shows up. The front desk part timer interrupts Hanma's blatant playful flirting and you tear yourself away to profusely apologize to him.
Shuji is...not pleased....by that...
And it shows
He's back way too soon asking for another big tattoo. Nearly a full back piece. Oh god oh fuck the first time you watched that man take his shirt of you just about saw god. But suddenly he refuses to sit for longer than an hour. He's at your station for 2 hours a day (an hour of distractions, an hour of tattooing).
You don't mind.
He agrees to pay a massive premium for your time. Besides, he's hot as fuck and is very entertaining. And he's taken you out for dinner (or brought you lunch) to your favorite places.
The regulars are well used to the glares or bribes to takes on your other clients. But you don't need to know anything about that. Shuji's got your schedule managed. And your bills paid.
Shuji shows up at the shop, with an hour left to closing with dinner from your favorite place. You take him to the back (he is kind of keeping the shop open single handedly, after all, he has special privileges) he sits and pulls you into his lap. You don't even flinch, just take your set like it's natural. He's been pulling this hit since you first met him two plus months ago.
His chin is on your shoulder as you eat like you've never seen food before goddamn workaholics his hands casually massage the bare skin of your inked thighs.
Oh, you ask him, how's the tongue feel?
Why don't you tell me? he kisses your neck and the warm metal ball sliding along the shell of your ear sends shivers down your spine.
I do love dessert, if you recall.
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spicy-tomato · 3 years
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dream taking reader from the back while Friends by Chase Atlantic is playing in the background 👀
-also may I be 🪐 anon? if not that's absolutely fine! ly stay safe!
yooo ive been working on so many things i forgot i finished this one! hopefully its how you wanted it to be cause im v proud of it. heavy angst in the beginning but it ends with rough smut and fluff
Just tell me what youre doin with that other guy
Your friends had invited you to a party, you didnt want to be here but your most recent boy toy, quackity, had insisted that you both go because he wanted to show you off. As soon as you both got there however, he ran off with some of his friends, leaving you to stand around with your absolutely plastered group of girl friends. They all kept talking about this one guy on the other side of the room who they said was “bad news”. You had no idea who they were talking about until your eyes met.
“I bet i could get in his pants first, i dont care how bad of an idea it is.” says one of your friends.
All of your girlfriends are wasted, they want it, they chase it
You couldnt just let her say that about him, as much as you were mad at him you couldnt stand her degrading him like that. “Actually him and i used to mess around, i kinda miss him to be honest….he was always so sweet and perfect to me.” you retaliate to your friends humiliating comment about the guy you regret losing.
“Youre joking. You do know hes literally the biggest fuckboy ever. Theres no way in hell im even letting you go near him tonight, besides you have quackity now.” gemma said, she may be wasted but she was always the mom of the group. You sigh and go back to your solo cup full of whatever clear alcohol you poured into it earlier.
All of your friends have been here for to long, they must be waiting for you to move on
Gemma continued to watch you for the next several hours until your eyes caught his again. Dream was a fitting name for him, he was like a dream come true for you with his dirty blonde hair and soft, freckled covered face. He always towered over you but it made you feel safe.
Girl, im not with it, im way to far gone
As your eyes met you could tell he was gone, his eyes devouring your skin as if he could still see what you looked like beneath your small skirt and crop top. You shudder at his predatory gaze before he gestures up the stairs and walks away, leaving you shuddering and trying to figure out what he was up to.
“Hey, im gonna run to the kitchen for a drink, ill be back in a sec.” you said and gemma nodded as you quickly make your way through the crowded space and up the stairs.
Heart on your sleeve like youve never been loved
You couldnt lie, you really didnt like quackity but after everything went downhill with dream you just needed someone to be there for you and he happened to walk in at the wrong time. As you get to the top of the stairs, dream pulls you quickly into a bathroom and locks the door before pressing you against it.
Runnin in circles now look what youve done
He looked a mess, eyes puffy and red, obviously not all there after drinking so much.
“Look what youve done to me, really look at it. I havent been the same since i let you go, i made a mistake. Please...please come back.” youve never seen him like this, begging for a second chance.
Give you my word as you take it and run
“How can i trust you wont hurt me again. You said that you would never hurt me then you went and did what you did. How do i know you arent lying?” he looks down, one hand reaching out to take yours.
“Let me prove it to you”
Wish youd let me stay, im ready now
“You cant just walk back into my life and expect me to just take you at your word or let you ‘make it up to me’. What you did tore me apart dream” your eyes go dark as you look at him with anger and sadness.
Just give me some time and space to realize
“After not being with you for so long, it made me realize how much i need you in my life” he looks at you with desperation
And what the hell were we? Tell me we werent just friends, this doesnt make much sense
“You told me that all we would ever be is friends when i told you how much i loved you, how much i still love you. After all of that, after all the tears ive spilled for you, you just expect to walk back in here and regain my love and trust?” you take his hand softly, “thats not how it works as bad as i want it to work that way.”
But im not hurt im tense, cause ill be fine without you, babe
“I lied, i told you i would be fine and that i didnt need your or love you like you love me but i lied. I was so scared of you leaving that i pushed you away. Please, just give me one more chance…” he looked so sad as he said that. Opening up was never one of his strong points so you took what he said to heart.
Wish youd let me stay, im ready now
“Then make it up to me.” you smirk at him as he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Make me forget everything you did to hurt me and maybe i'll give you another chance.” he smirks and his eyes go dark with lust before he pulls you from against the door and bends you over the sink. Your phone rings an you check to see who it is
Incoming call from: quackity
You toss your phone to the side quickly as dream starts to tug at your skirt, tugging it down quickly to see you had nothing on under it.
“Its like you came here ready for me to fuck you princess. Being so naughty with nothing on under this skimpy little skirt.” he slaps your ass hard and you lurch forward with a moan. He pulls your hands behind your back, pinning them there with one hand as the other starts to play with you, putting one finger in and pulling a moan from your throat. “Such pretty noises, god why did i ever let a perfect little thing like you go.” he adds a second finger and starts to thrust them relentlessly as you moan and beg from under him, the familiar tune of a song you played for him drifting up the stairs as you slowly come undone below him. He chuckles darkly before pulling his fingers out, dragging a whine from you before he quickly replaces it, thrusting into you all at once and setting a rough pace. He uses his free hand to tug you back by your hair and make you look in the mirror.
“Look at how much of a mess you are for me, no one else can make you feel like this princess, youre all mine.” he finishes his sentence with a particularly rough thrust that makes you scream out, coaxing an orgasm you didnt even know you were so close to out of you as he keeps going. You watch your form in the mirror, seeing how ruined you looked with tears running down your cheeks and ruined makeup. He laughs behind you before pulling you up to his chest and moving the hand that was pinning your behind your back to your throat, applying light pressure. You let out a silent moan and throw your head back before he leans down and bites it.
“Such a dirty girl, getting off on my hand around your neck” he puts more pressure on your neck before biting above his hand. Your eyes roll back as you cum around him again with a muffled scream. He pulls his hand from your neck and starts to bite and suck on it, his hips stuttering as he comes closer to his end. “S-so fucking good for me princess, never gonna let you go again” as he say that he fills you up with a gutteral moan and you throw your hands back to grip his hair. You both take a second to come down before he pulls out, causing you to whine before he helps you put your skirt back on and turns you to face him.
“Give me another chance?” he smiles softly at you.
“Only if you take me home.” he nods quickly and takes your hand, leading you down the stairs an past your friends and your “boyfriend”
“Hey babe, where are you going with that asshole?” quackity asks before trying to pull you away from dream.
“Actually quackity, we’re over...sorry!” with that, both you and dream rush out of the house and to his car before getting in. he takes you back to his apartment and you both curl up on the couch, you laying on his chest with a content smile as he pulls a blanket over the both of you. You fall asleep in his arms, knowing that it was just right.
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actualbird · 3 years
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// spoilers for Marius SSR Will Of The Trees story part 2 and part 3 and part 4
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KJBKJKSFJJDGKJSD LMAO??? MARIUS VON WHORE???? OH MY GOD, MARIUS, U SHOWOFF. u coulda just left and got the damn wood but no, u had to go show off ur abs. go to the corner and think about what youve done
.....actually, no, i wanna see this. mc, whyd u close ur eyes. whenever i make u visit marius, i am primarily makin u lift his shirt (when im not making u fix his horrid and always up collar UGH) uve seen this already.
tho marius rlly shouldnt be doing this in literal public kjsbgskjsg. we get it, ur an exhibitionist, now put ur shirt down boy.
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oh my god, why are you like this, im going to punch u in the face and kiss u
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no no NOOOO I CANT DO THIS. BABY MARIUS WITH HIS DINO JACKET AAAAAAAAA PLEASE. HES CRYING. DONT DO THIS TO ME.
this is reigniting my desire to write a fic where somehow marius gets de-aged to little kid and the nxx team has to look after him when hes so confused and scared and just wants his brother and the team try to hide the fact that giann is missing but eventually marius finds out and runs away because hes so upset and the team have a fuckin HEARTATTACK trying to find him all night because a little kid alone in the city at night is so so so dangerous. and one of them finds him just crying on a bench and that person comforts him til the rest arrive and they all promise not to hide anything from him again
anyway they spent the rest of marius' kid transformation living together so they can look after him and thus found family feels. marius doodles a picture of the team and giann and even peanut and artem is like "this is wonderful, but where are you?" and marius is like "oh. im not important, it's you guys who matter." artem's heart is goddamn breaking so even if hes shit at drawing, he draws a little stick figure marius in the middle of everybody.
ah. ive thought about this concept a lot. also im wailing crying punching the floor
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giann von hagen little shit: confirmed. but hes a little shit with good intentions, he apparently only said that so marius would stop misbehaving and touching rainforest things without using his braincells kjbfgjsdg
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oh my god....the girl teaching mc the secret prayer carving for marriage...can we give that girl an award, pls, she didnt even get a silhouette sprite but shes out here doing god's work
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mc is so pretty oh GOSH, marius u r so so valid for just hearteyes staring like this.
ahh i cant finish watching this card, i gots date night in a bit. will continue some other time!!
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wokestraightpuffy · 3 years
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Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡
YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p
as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D
ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)
* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3
* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol
* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing
* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment
* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable
* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself
* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3
* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D
* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.
HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd
* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before
* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 
* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 
* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 
* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3
 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm
* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3
* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D
* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc
* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 
* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj
* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask
* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns
i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U
if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj
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