You are a hero to me
(I blame this entirely on @phrenic-a and their glorious writer-baiting. It was meant to be one genre, but of course Zev can't make anything easy for me....)
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“Ex… Uhm, excuse me? Miss?” A tiny voice says, dragging Zev’sonya out of the conversation she’s currently having with Mose about whether they should bother securing more supplies or not before heading back to the ship and away from this awfully crowded marked. She looks to her left and down, towards the source of the sound, and is both baffled and displeased to find a green, little twi’lek girl standing there and staring at her with big eyes.
“What?” Zev’sonya snaps. Why isn’t anyone looking after this girl? She can’t be more than six or seven years old? She shouldn’t be hassling dangerous strangers who could snatch her up and sell her to slavers. Her guardians deserve a punch in the mouth.
“Are you…” The girl’s gaze slides over and takes in the sight of Mose towering behind Zev’sonya.
Her eyes grow even larger and Zev’sonya reluctantly braces for the inevitable shriek of horror while silently swearing she is indeed going to punch whomever is responsible for letting this little girl wander off.
“Y-you are!” The girl declares and shifts her attention back to Zev’sonya, but with absolute delight all over her face instead of fear. “You’re Zev’sonya Lee Lewna!”
Zev’sonya blinks. She can feel Mose’s confusion as strong as her own. Putting on her gruffest face, she scans the little girl and sees (and feels) nothing out of the ordinary. She’s dressed nicely, but not like a rich kid, is skinny but not malnourished, and has a large, yellow cuddle-toy hanging from her right hand instead her holding any weapon. “How do you know my name, kid?”
The girl leans to the side and outright grins. “And you’re Mose!”
Zev’sonya looks back at him, but he just meets her gaze with his equivalent of raising an eyebrow and underlines it with a faint shrug. No help to be had there. Great. Zev’sonya turns back to the girl and puts on her stern face again. “Listen, kid, I don’t know what you want from me, but you shouldn’t be wandering around on your own.”
“I’m not.” The girl says, then points with her free hand. “They’re right over there.”
‘They’ must be her family and ‘they’ are a twi’lek man and two other little twi’lek girls. The man, clearly someone in Zev’sonya’s trade of shady business, is busy negotiating with a seller and has no idea what is happening beyond that, but the two girls next to him are clutching their own cuddle toys and are staring wide-eyed at their sister talking to strangers. The girl on the left is hugging a raggedy looking human doll while the girl on the right is squeezing a falleen doll tight.
“I told them we might meet you one day! This is so awesome!” The little run-away declares with raw glee.
Zev’sonya shakes her head and scoffs. Not only does this little shrimp know her and Mose’s names, which is weird enough by itself, but she actually wanted to meet them? Is she crazy? “Why?”
“Because…” Now the girl finally lowers her gaze for a moment, suddenly a little shy, but it doesn’t last for long. She flicks her dark eyes up again and now they are beaming with awe. “I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!”
Zev’sonya feels like the kid just slapped her face. Yeah, must be crazy. She considers backing up in case it is contagious. Maybe it is brain-rot? Must be something serious, definitely. “What?”
“The Pyle heist! The Julita caper! The Aand sting! The Silver holdup!” The girl blurts out, increasingly excited. “They were all you.” A sharp gulp of breath is all she has time for before rambling on. “My dad goes away for work a lot of the time, but he always comes back with stories about you. When I was little, I didn’t think a twi’lek girl could be captain of a crew, but he said I was wrong and that’s when he told me about Zev’sonya Lee Lewna. The Pirate Queen! And Mose, her best friend and second in command!”
That’s when Zev’sonya notices that the stuffed doll the girl is holding on to is not something she’s seen for sale at any marked she’s been to. It is a home-made creation; a yellow hutt with brown stripes and big eyes. It is quite raggedy from being brought along to wherever this kid goes. For some reason, the sight of the clear replica of Mose makes Zev’sonya’s heart clench.
“All my sisters do is talk about meeting a prince and getting married and living in his castle, but they also claim that there are no nice hutts, so you know they’re stupidheads. I don’t wanna marry a prince, I wanna be a pirate, like you.” The girl declares with gusto. She swings her doll forward and holds it up for her to see. “I only have Hose right now. But one day I’ll run into a hutt who is nice, like Mose, and they will be on my crew and we’ll go on adventures all over the Galaxy..”
Zev’sonya has no idea what to say to that. Her brain is spinning at how unreal the situation is.
Lowering the toy, the girl tilts her head and studies the blaster hanging by Zev’sonya’s hip before she scans the blades strapped to her thighs. “My dad won’t let me shoot one yet, but I’m really good with my slingshot.”
“That’s… nice.” Zev’sonya awkwardly mumbles. She hears a quiet rumble of amusement from behind her and Mose is clearly handling this better than she is. But that’s because he’s nice and she isn’t! She’s no role-model. She’s a result of a cruel Galaxy. This kid shouldn’t-
“Is it true you even have a human on your crew now?” The little fiend seems far more shocked by this than Zev’sonya travelling around with a hutt by her side.
“Ye-es….” Zev’sonya replies, not sure why she is giving her answers instead of directions back to her family or spraying her with water to make her go away. How does she know about Leo too?!
“Hey, would you mind…” The girl starts, digging into her own pocket for something that she pulls up with a triumphant look on her face. “Signing this?”
The shocks keeps on coming today because Zev’sonya finds herself looking at the unrolling of a wanted poster of her and Mose. It’s an old one. Three or four years ago? That is really not a flattering picture of her. Yikes. Does she really look like that? She's never leaving the ship again.
Mose chortles from behind her.
Ok, this must be some kind of weird dream. Has to be. This can’t be real. No way.
When all Zev’sonya does is stare, the girl gives the poster a brief, suggestive shake.
“Sure.” Mose says, reaching by Zev’sonya and taking the poster to sign it.
Zev’sonya half-turns to stare at him with no small amount of disbelief that only grows when she sees the smile he’s trying in vain to fight off. He’s far too amused by this. Once he’s scribbled down his letters on the holo-surface, he hands it to her with an expectant look on his face.
Scowling, Zev’sonya hesitates for only half a second before signing it and turning to hand it back to the girl. “Here.”
“Thank you!” She says, beaming even more brightly despite how it shouldn’t be possible.
“Sure.” Zev’sonya clears her throat. “Now, go back to your father and don’t wander off again. Okay?”
“Okay.” The girl declares with zero hesitation and endless cheerfulness. “But when I get a little older, can I come work for you? Mom says I should focus on my dancing or singing, but that’s boring, so can I? Pretty please? Can I?”
Trying hard to ignore the long, rumbling chuckle she hears from Mose, Zev’sonya crosses her arms. “Give it ten to fifteen years, if you still feel the same, sure.” She doubts she’ll see this kid again, but there is still something about her that prods Zev’sonya to say the next words. “Just remember, being a twi’lek doesn’t mean you have to sing and dance. You do what you want to do with your life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even your mother. You can be whatever you put your mind to.”
Despite how it shouldn’t be possible, the girl’s face grow even brighter with happiness. “I’m going to be just like you!”
Wait, no t-that is not what she meant, absolutely not, but the girl takes off running towards her father and sisters before Zev’sonya can correct her. Then, after the cretin is reunited with her sisters, pointing towards her and Mose and clearly bragging, Zev’sonya spins around to leave in a hurry as their father finally catches on to something happening behind him and turns to investigate. Time to get back to the ship.
Mose is still chuckling when she stalks by him.
“Shut up.” Zev’sonya growls. Her face burns.
Mose outrights laughs.
“I will stab you in the eye!” She threatens, in vain as it has no effect whatsoever.
Back at the ship, Nohr is waiting by the open ramp. The nikto is standing guard and seems very ready for them to leave. He’s the impatient one on the crew. “We good to go?”
“We’re leaving.” Zev’sonya declares as she marches into the ship with Mose right behind her. “Now.”
The ramp starts closing behind them and Zev’sonya knows she should head up to the cockpit and have Bea’tah initiate take-off right away, but on the way she has to walk by the door to her quarters and she can’t help the way her gaze lingers on it.
“Lorda.” Mose says, now all quiet and gentle, stopping by the door. “I’ll head up. You go in.”
Zev’sonya pauses and glares at him.
Mose nods. His eyes are too mild. “You are the captain, Lorda. I know. You decide.” He’s indulging her bad temper and they both know it. “But I can handle the ship and you should check up on him.”
Hesitating, Zev’sonya is torn between her usual dislike of being told what to do and the fact that she actually wants to go inside that room. What happened earlier had left her with a knot in her belly, and now that twi’lek kid has made her head a mess too…
“Go.” Mose encourages. “I got this.”
She does not doubt that for a second. She trusts him without a shadow of a doubt and because of that, she can allow herself to be weak this one time. Zev’sonya exhales and gives in. “Fine.”
Mose nods again, relieved. “Good.” He shuffles by her. “It’s a seventeen hour journey to our next stop, remember? You might as well get some rest while you’re in there.”
“Mind my ship, not my business.” Zev’sonya snipes, uncomfortable. Mose is always looking out for her despite how she’s supposed to keep him safe. A captain watches over her crew, not the other way around. Mose never seems to get that into his head.
“Yes, Lorda.” He replies with ease, clearly not intending to heed her words at all. And people call her the stubborn one?
Stepping inside the room, Zev’sonya leans back against the door and pauses for a bit to take in the sight that greets her.
Lying on his back, arms by his sides, Leo is still fast asleep on the bed. As expected. As he should be. This morning’s attack had come out of nowhere and for several seconds that had felt like years, Zev’sonya had been convinced that the medicine had suddenly stopped working and that he would die in front of her. She had not felt so afraid and helpless since Mose was poisoned.
Taking a deep breath, Zev’sonya pushes herself away from the door and walks over to sit down next to Leo. He looks pale, but peaceful. No fear. Nothing like during the incident. He’s breathing deep and slow. She takes his hand in hers and forces herself to smile. “You’re going to be so angry when you hear you missed out on meeting someone as crazy as you.” His hand is warm and the contact feels reassuring so she places her other hand over his. “This twi’lek kid, she came right up to me and Mose and started talking to us. No sense of self-preservation.” Zev’sonya breathes a faint laugh of reluctant admiration. “No brain.” She shakes her head, weirdly… flattered? “You would have liked her. She said…”
- I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!
While Zev’sonya knows she’s anything but a role model, the idea that a twi’lek girl might break free from the booth others want to put her in, or even give a deserving hutt a chance because she heard stories about Zev’sonya and Mose, it is dangerously uplifting. And though the girl has horrible taste in heroes and the odds stacked high against her even before she starts her journey, Zev’sonya hopes she makes it. She really hopes she makes it.
Hmm, Leo is going to be a dreadful nightmare when he hears about this. (He won’t hear it from her but Mose is definitely going to tell him. Those two love to conspire against her.) His old nickname is going to be used a lot. “She said something crazy.” Zev’sonya says, easing down to lie next to the sleeping Leo. Everything in her wants to curl up close, wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest and listen to him breathe, but she only allows herself to hold on to his hand. It’s not much, but it’s more than what she’s allowed herself in the past. “You’re going to love it.”
The ship gently shudders as they take off and head towards the stars. Technically it is barely mid-day where they are right now, but the standard time teller tells Zev’sonya the ship will swap to night-mode soon and she realizes Mose must have known as he told her to get some rest. The different time zones between parsecs, even between some planets, can leave a traveller severely sleep deprived if one is not careful and that could get you killed in Zev’sonya’s line of work.
Fine. Sleep it is. For purely practical reasons.
Zev’sonya absently runs her index finger back and forth over Leo’s warm hand as she quietly starts listing up names of people she’s never met, except for one. Even if she’d been ignorant of Hauroko’s fate, Zev’sonya would have known it is souls Leo has lost from the grief she feels radiating from him every evening when he speaks their names. She suspects it is his way of keeping them alive in memory at least and as he won’t be able to tonight, Zev’sonya will keep them alive for him.
Zev’sonya Lee Lewna is not a hero. She’s not even a good person. But she is curled up next to one.
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I'm sure someone smarter than me has said all this before, but 7000 vampire spawn, over roughly 200 years (let's just use that number y'know, why not), is just like. 35 per year. On average, give or take. With the Faerunian calendar of 36*10 days to a year, that's just about one person per tenday.
And going by the rules on "Handling Undead Hunger" outlined in Libris Mortis (yes it's 3.5E but the most complete guide on the undead in DnD that I know of), a vampire would need to feed roughly every 3 days in order to be comfortable.
30-some missing persons going unaccounted for over the course of a year in a city with as much crime as Baldur's Gate, is... probably reasonable, but there's likely at least some indication of an upper limit to how many mysterious disappearences the Flaming Fist will just not bother investigating. I don't recall there being mention of anything like willing blood donors or anything (if there were some and I just missed it this whole thing falls apart btw), but to go out and nab a new person each time ~~Master~~ is feeling peckish, that's just. That's just unsustainable. That'd be 120 people per year, or 2.5 per tenday. At that pace, not only would they have all gotten caught, they'd have completed the ritual in like under 60 years (which, from Sebastian just being alive, we know they got started at least 170 years ago).
So if we assume that the number of those brought in remained at least kinda consistent regardless of how many spawn were out actively hunting (20-50 per year sounds... kinda realistic), it could be reasonable to also assume that each victim was, on average, the "meal" for roughly ten days before ultimately being drained fully and turned. (Yes, I thought about draining them first and keeping bloodbanks, but... leaving them alive to keep them fresher for longer is more cruel, so lbr, it's more likely.)
It's... probably halfway reasonable then to assume then that Cazador fed off the average victim like 2-4 times, over the course of a number of days, no?
There's some room for variation in that number of course, like there were probably leaner years at the start, and later with 7 spawn all hunting consistently, the time between each was probably somewhat shorter, plus there were likely cases (like Astarion) when there was only one bite total. Maybe sometimes more were brought in at once for those parties that were mentioned, only to be..... stored, and uh..... enjoyed over the course of the next... however long time, during which the "favored" spawn maybe even got to "enjoy" some downtime.
so. that's a series of fun (not relly) thoughts.
I swear, every time I think about Cazador for whatever reason, that whole shitshow just gets worse.
[btw if we take Astarion's "I've bedded thousands" comment literally and assume he personally brought in around 2000 over ~170 years of being a spawn (there could be fewer and he could be rounding up like he consistently rounds 170 up to 200, but if it's significantly more, his siblings all must seriously suck at hunting), that's roughly an average of like... 12 people a year. Which is bad, of course, don't get me wrong, but I honestly halfway expected it to be a much less realistic-sounding number, I guess.]
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i can probably guess how tsumiki might feel abt gojo but how does megs feel abt him? indifference at first because he can only mirror his sis? but then a lot of blame/resentment because gojo’s the reason the zenin tortured him, like they were trying to get to gojo thru him? But then also gratitude for safe harbor and an okay-ish upbringing? But then he was also adopted at like 3 so gojo is the only dad he knows?
I think Megumi has tried very very hard to not think of what gojo is to him.
A lot of his ideas around his family and his relationships within it were really tangled up with what happened with the Zenin as a kid.
The thing is, they really were getting close to being a family when the zenin got part custody. Megumi grew up without anyone in his life other than his sister to really trust. He had no reliable parent presence. but the teen parenting crew really was trying to be stable for him and tsumiki, and while he didn't exactly think of them as family, he's aware he could have gotten there. And then the Zenin happened.
Megumi doesn't blame Gojo for what happened with the Zenin, per se. It's more than he doesn't like to inspect what happened back then because then he might blame himself.
He doesn't blame Gojo for the Zenin trying to get at Gojo through him, either when he was a kid or now. He doesn't view that as Gojo's fault--if anything, it's more of a sign of how much Gojo has helped them over the years? He thinks the Zenin resent Gojo, but it's because Gojo intervened and kept Megumi with his sister for all those years. The Zenin wouldn't hate him so much if Gojo hadn't stuck his neck out for megumi all those years ago. Megumi's painfully aware that he wouldn't have been able to stop the zenin on his own if gojo hadn't intervened. In Megumi's mind, the Zenin are only so dedicated to fucking with Gojo because he stopped them from hurting Megumi all those years ago, so he'd be getting hurt by the Zenin either way.
If anything, their most recent stunt emphasizes how little this is Gojo's fault. It took almost a decade for Gojo to have a big enough crisis on his hands that the Zenin were able to get away with this without Gojo immediately smiting them. Gojo's a big enough umbrella that he's shielded megumi and allowed him to grow up in relative peace for a long, long time.
He doesn't like thinking about what Gojo could have been to him and what he is instead because he doesn't want what the Zenin did to him to be his fault.
It never would have been, to be clear, but people are irrational, especially around things like this. And Megumi just doesn’t want to think about what happened back then, let alone how he could have stopped it.
It’s like this:
For the past decade, Gojo’s been this absolute, uncompromising, and painfully simple stop on the Zenin. The second he realized how bad it was with the Zenin, it stopped. Megumi never saw a single one of them again, until Naoya showed up at his school. As far as he knows, they never even tried to come near him again, because even if they did, Gojo was such an effective insulation that Megumi never even found out about it. Gojo really could have stopped it with barely any effort at all. And he did, as soon as he realized what was actually happening. And Megumi’s secure enough in what he has with Gojo to know that Gojo would never knowingly allow him to be hurt.
Which means Megumi’s constantly had the question of why it didn’t stop sooner living in the back of his mind.
If Gojo always could stop it, and always would have stopped it, and if he didn’t stop it, then it’s because megumi just. Didn’t do a good enough job of asking for help.
I don’t think asking for help came easily to Megumi, even as a little kid. He had never had anyone to rely on other than Tsumiki, who he didn’t like asking for help because it’d burden her even more, and he associated most grown ups with neglect and harm. I think asking Gojo for help when the Zenin took custody was a huge act of vulnerability on his part, and not getting it sort of crushed him.
It really killed a lot of the family that was growing between them all, how bad the Zenin got. It took a long time to heal from it. And a big part of it was the fact that megumi sort of shut everyone out after he asked for help and didn’t get it. He took it as confirmation that they weren’t safe adults who actually cared about him. And he wasn’t going to let anyone see him beg for help when he knew they weren’t going to give it to him.
But then Gojo just… swooped in and fixed everything. Just like that. And he genuinely seemed to not realize the Zenin were hurting him.
Megumi knows gojo, a decade later. He knows Gojo would have stopped it the first time they hit him if he knew. He must not have known. But megumi told him.
Ergo, Megumi just didn’t tell him right. QED.
Megumi doesn’t want to think about that time of his life at all, let alone the fact that it was just… brutally unnecessary. One of the worst, most helpless parts of his life, and it wouldn’t have happened if he had a fucking conversation. But he had it. So he must not have done it right.
Then it’s his fault. And he does not want it to be his fault.
If he thinks about what Gojo is to him, it all gets filtered through what happened with the Zenin and how their relationship changed. He doesn’t want to think of a deeper relationship with Gojo as something he lost, because then maybe that’s his fault too.
Gojo’s good to them. He saved them from the Zenin. Megumi trusts him to have his best interests at heart.
He just doesn’t want to think of what he is past that.
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