#relationship it’s so confusing I hate questioning so much it is literally the worst I hate it why can’t I just know who I am

[fridaynight--saturdaymorning]

I’m back in my women era idk if that makes sense but like as a bisexual I have my men era I have my women era they alternate and are both ultimately overshadowed by my overwhelming constant love for non binary ppl but like rn I’m really like yeah women Fr like have you seen them. Stunning like they will literally be people that are women an i love that so much like omg I want a gf

#Me when I want a gf but I also have no idea if I want a girlfriend I’m aspec to some degree but it is wack as hell at the moment we’re look #ing at something along the lines of greyromantic quoirimantic demiromantic cause like I want a gf but I also have no idea if I want a gf ma #ybe I need that platonic shit to get me going yanno bc I’m big on qpr but also idk at what point a qpr in my brain aligns with a romantic r #relationship it’s so confusing I hate questioning so much it is literally the worst I hate it why can’t I just know who I am #Anyways hnnnng women end of post

[tkaulitzlvr]

HEYYY sorry if this is kinda long but ur my fav writer so i trust u w writing this 🤞

Could you write smth where tom used to be a player but he started dating the reader and seemed really loyal, but they go to a party together, their first party as a couple and when the reader leaves to go buy drinks she comes back to find tom sitting down with a bunch of girls, it looks like he’s flirting with them. sooo the reader gets really upset and walks all the way home thinking he’s cheating already even after only dating for like a month. tom follows her home, trying to explain himself and he eventually explains that he wasn’t cheating, he was trying to get away from all the girls politely, but was kinda trapped. the reader forgives him and it ends in smut or fluff or whatever u want.

SORRY ITS SO SPECIFIC LMAOOO

WHAT IT SEEMS - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: tom has finally managed to settle down with you, discarding his womanising ways. but, you see something that makes you think otherwise, tom desperate to explain himself to you, certain that you have got the wrong idea.

content: angst + fluff

a/n: love this idea, thank u so much for the request i hope u enjoy !! this is lowk ass tho i’m so sorry😭😭

“we really don’t have to go schatz, i know you don’t like these sorts of places.” tom repeats, standing in the frame of the bathroom door as i apply my make-up in the mirror. “we can stay here instead, i’ll get some snacks from the store, just me and you?”

he tries to reason with me, knowing that i’ve never been a party person. i hated large groups of people, not understanding the buzz that people got from drinking unsafe amounts of alcohol and fucking some random, the idea literally my worst nightmare. i preferred to stay inside and watch a movie, or bake something, finding comfort in familiarity, never described as an extroverted person.

tom however, was the complete opposite. he was a party animal, ending up at a different club every night, with a different girl between the sheets after he left. that is why our relationship was so unexpected, but it seems that tom had changed. he settled down, spending less and less time out at a random bar, instead spending his nights with me, soon realising that the party scene wasn’t something i enjoyed. at first, i was hesitant to believe that he had changed his ways completely, but, a month into our relationship, he has given me no reason to not trust him, this the reason why i am deciding to finally give in and go to just one party, tom having missed out for so long. but he is clearly confused by my change of heart, trying to remind me that he is more than okay with not going, growing to enjoy quiet nights at home.

“tom i’m fine. you haven’t been to a party in forever.” i start, blinking rhythmically as i apply my mascara, before moving backwards away from the mirror and turning to face him. “besides, i can’t stay locked up here forever. i have to live a little.”

he tilts his head, still uncertain despite my clear lack of hesitation. his lips purse together as he walks towards me, resting his hands on my hips. i can tell that he is questioning it, part of him missing the parties that he used to go to. but the new and sensible part of him, the part that is more prominent now, silently reminds himself of how much he has grown to love spending time with me and only me, coming to the conclusion that parties were never as fun as he had sometimes made them out to be, much preferring my company to getting shitfaced in some random club.

“there’s other ways to have fun besides getting wasted all the time. i like that about you. you don’t have to be drunk to have fun.” he says, kissing my forehead softly.

“i want to go.” i state, looking upwards at him, my eyes wide as i attempt to convince him to calm down a little.

“are you sure baby? i don’t want to force you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. you know i’d hate myself if you got there and didn’t like it. i’d much rather we-”

i cut him off by pressing my lips against his, sealing his over dramatic rambling with a short kiss. “i’ll be fine, okay?” i reassure him, my forehead against his.

he lets out a small smile, sighing heaving before speaking. “fine, get ready. but if you don’t like it, we’re leaving straight away. deal?”

i roll my eyes at his protectiveness, my heart melting at how much he cares. though it is a little frustrating, i can’t be mad at him, nodding my head slowly as a chuckle leaves my lips, my body turning back towards the mirror as i finish applying my make-up, my small crop top and tight skirt already on. tom walks behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, letting his hands rest on my stomach, before resting his head in my neck, planting gentle kisses there as i finish the rest of my makeup, small giggles leaving my mouth when his lips touch a sensitive spot on my neck, or his hands gently squeeze my stomach and his fingers slightly tickle the skin. he smiles behind me, his eyes calm and half-lidded, dreads resting over his shoulders and draping onto mine as he slowly rocks us side to side, continuing to kiss my neck from behind until i am finally finished.

the walk to the club is short, tom’s hand staying clasped in mine as we wander through the darkened streets, few people and the occasional car driving by us. i prefer peaceful nights like this, time to admire the city, rather than being face first in the crowds that daytime brought along with them. tom is speaking about something random, a lazy smile tugging on my lips as i look upwards, not particularly focusing on what he is saying, instead admiring his features - eyes fixed on the way his brown eyes shine, occasional smile gracing his face as he speaks, tongue grazing against his lip piercing. i take in this rare moment, though to some it is simple, to me it is something to be treasured, happy to listen to whatever tom is saying, finding it adorable how he gets so into a conversation when it is about something he cares for.

my cold breath leaves my lips as i exhale, reminding me how bitter the weather is, despite the warmth that the jacket tom had insisted on letting me wear brings me. occasional laughter emits from our mouths, sharing pointless conversation, enjoying the simplicity of each other’s company, our content exchange soon cut off by the sound of overly-loud music, signalling that we have arrived.

the queue to get in is longer than i had expected, tom not phased by this as the bouncer seems to recognise him, flashing him a quick smile and letting the both of us in. it is completely packed, drunken bodies encircling my vision, this enough for me to become easily overwhelmed. tom realises this, bending downwards so that his voice can be heard over the loud music.

“you okay? we can leave if you don’t like it.” he squeezes my hand as he speaks, bringing me into his embrace, his hands now running up and down my arms.

i shake my head, not wanting to leave before i had even given the place a chance. i let out a small ‘i’m fine’ in response, tom nodding his head and leading me through the crowd, looking downwards at me every few seconds, his hand never leaving mine until we emerge, arriving at a smaller section cut off from the rest of the club, being what i assume as the VIP section. the staff there recognise tom like the bouncer had, letting him in as we find a couch and table unoccupied.

he flops onto it, spreading his legs and wrapping his arm around my shoulder as i sit beside him, his other resting on the back of the couch. he scans the area, his lips pursed, head lazily nodding to the beat of the music, fingers tapping against my shoulder.

“you okay?” he shouts over the music, looking over at me and planting a small kiss on my forehead, pulling me closer into his side.

i nod my head, pointing a finger over to the bar. “i think i’m gonna go get a drink. you want one?”

he seems hesitant to let me go, his face falling a little, seemingly surprised at my willingness to walk around alone. the place somehow seems to feel busier, the bar totally packed, scattered with glasses, some empty, some practically full. but i figure that if i want to put myself out there more, i can’t rely on tom to be by my side, wanting to do this small thing alone.

“you sure baby? i can come with you?” he asks, looking upwards and seeing how crowded it has become.

“i’ll be fine. you can see the bar from here anyways, it’s not like anything can happen.” i say, pointing out the direct view our table has to the bar. though it is a little far away, past the small crowd of people forming there, it is in our eye line, tom able to maintain a perfect view of me.

“okay, but i’m watching the whole time. if anything happens i’ll be right over.” he gives in, though i can tell by his tone he is still reluctant. despite this, i stand up, pulling my skirt down a little bit. “and get me a beer please schatz.”

his hand plants a small squeeze on my ass, my body whipping around to scold him, yet my eyes are met with that same infamous smirk, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as i shake my head, a low chuckle escaping my lips. i walk over to the bar, reaching it successfully after pushing through a few wasted bodies. i turn around, squinting my eyes to try and spot tom, seeing that he is still alone, his own eyes searching to meet mine. he spots me, sending me a small smile and wave, his face visibly calming down once i am within his sight.

i turn back around towards the bar, resting my frame against the hard wood. a tall man comes towards me from the other side, nodding for me to order.

“a beer and a piña colada, thanks.” i say, pulling out a twenty dollar bill from my purse and pressing it flat against the table.

he nods, taking the money and starting to prepare the drinks. i awkwardly tap my fingers against the wood as i wait, the music seeming to get louder, leaving me with a pounding headache. my body is warm, unsure of whether it is the proximity of sweaty figures dancing around me, or the sweltering air, everything in the room feeling ten times closer than it would outside.

he places the drinks against the table, shooting me a small smile as i take them, returning the gesture and turning around. my eyes catch a small glimpse of tom from where i am stood, quickly doing a double take as i realise that he is not alone. from a distance, i can spot at least four girls, two at either side of him. he appears pretty content, a large grin from ear to ear as he engages in conversation, the girls way too close for my liking. they are practically up against him, wearing next to nothing, their bodies covered with dresses so skimpy i wouldn’t have bothered wearing anything at all.

he seems completely comfortable, the only difference in how he was sat before being that his hands had moved from either side of the couch, now resting in his lap. i can see him shake his head, that flirty smile never faltering. however i reach my breaking point when one girl leans closer, about to place her hand on his thigh. that’s when i lose it.

i storm towards the table, tom’s attention quickly turning to me as the eyes of the girls sat beside him all turn to me too, curious to see what has been able to divert his attention so easily. his face softens as he seems somewhat glad to see me, this only angering me more. one second, he is entertaining girls because i leave for a minute, then his eyes light up as i return, as if he hadn’t looked at them with that same grin i have seen way too many times before - all before we started dating. my jaw is clenched, eyes cold and harsh as i slam the drinks down onto the table, part of the liquid splashing out of the tall glass from the force.

“there’s your fucking drink, asshole.” i scoff, shaking my head and turning around, starting to find my way through the large crowd in the centre.

i can hear his voice behind me, constantly calling my name as he forces his way through the crowd, only a few steps behind me. i ignore his pleas, feeling like a complete idiot for believing that he had changed.

“get out of my fucking way!” i shout over the music, pushing the last few people out of my way, my eyes finally meeting the exit, leaving it quickly, tom still following me as he continues to be persistent, my name pouring from his lips every few seconds.

the night is even colder than it was when we had arrived, my entire body shivering once i emerge onto the empty street, the distorted blur of music no longer helping to drown out the sound of tom’s voice as it seems to get closer and closer. i continue to shrug him off, speeding up as my heels click across the pavement. my hands run up and down my arms in an attempt to warm myself up, now without the comfort of tom’s jacket to keep my temperature high, my small and tight outfit providing no warmth at all.

however, my fast steps are no longer enough to keep myself distanced from tom as i feel his hand on my shoulder, the strength of its hold causing me to stop in my tracks.

“jesus christ, baby, what the fuck?” he asks, out of breath, his chest heaving up and down as i face him, his eyes heavy and filled with confusion once he processes the hurt etched upon my face.

“don’t fucking touch me!” i scoff, roughly detaching my shoulder from his head, my eyes becoming glassy, both from the harshness of the wind and the reality that tom hadn’t ever changed his ways as i had thought. “just fuck off, you’ve done enough. and i actually thought you were different, how fucking naive can i be?”

i turn around, starting to walk away again. yet he speeds up, jogging and moving to stand in front of me, completely trapping me.

“baby, please it’s not what it looks like.” he pleads, his own expression now filled with desperation as he begs for me to hear him out, my mind set on what it had seen - no explanation able to change that.

“really? so i didn’t see those girls all over you?” i challenge, shaking my head as a sarcastic chuckle leaves my lips, in disbelief of how stupid he is making me out to be.

“you’re blowing this way out of proportion! you’ve got the complete wrong idea schatz.” he says, his own voice raising a little as he becomes frustrated.

“do you know how unbelievable you are? i should’ve known, i was never good enough to make you want to settle down.” the tears cascade down my cheeks, my teeth sinking into my lips as i quickly move around him, walking away once again.

but, he doesn’t accept my desire to leave, taking my hand and pulling me backwards, his eyes glossy with tears, his sudden display of emotion taking me by surprise.

“liebe, please can you just listen to me for a second?” he sighs, his voice wavering as he speaks. i stay silent, the tears pouring down my face, yet he takes my lack of response as a sign to continue. “they came over to me. i told them straight away that i wasn’t interested.”

i furrow my eyebrows, a mixture of guilt and disbelief taking over. one part of me feels terrible for not letting him explain, this whole thing my fault if he is telling the truth. but, the more infuriated side of me doesn’t believe him for a second, refusing to even consider that he brushed them off, tom never being the type to refuse a girl’s company. and it is this anger within me that acts out, cutting his explanation short.

“fucking bullshit. do you think i’m an idiot-”

he cuts me off, continuing to explain. despite my cold tone, he remains calm, taking my hands in his own, his eyes softly looking into mine as he speaks.

“i told them my girlfriend is here, and i’m not interested. they wouldn’t give in. i didn’t want to be rude, you know i’m not like that. but i didn’t let them do anything. didn’t you see how i was sitting? i’ve never had my arms closer to me in my life!”

he lets out a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little. but once he sees that i am in no mood to joke around, he shakes his head, straightening his expression before continuing.

“i was literally about to get up to come and find you, but then you came over. i get that it might’ve looked weird from far away, but i promise you.” he trails off, taking one step closer to me, reluctantly reaching upwards to gently graze his thumb across my cheek, applying a little more pressure once i accept his touch. “i promise you that i shut it down straight away. i want you and only you.”

both of his hands cup my face, his thumbs running comfortingly over the soft skin, his eyes scanning mine as he awaits my response, my mind working at a million miles per minute as i try to find the right words. though i am still angry, now more at the girls than him, it is impossible to ignore the sincerity of his words, guilt rising within my stomach as i feel nothing but regret for not trusting him.

“i’m sorry.” i mutter, removing my eyes from his own as i stare at the ground, salty tears rolling down my face more than they had before.

“hey, hey…” he trails off, lifting my chin with his pointer finger, his face falling once he sees my state. he plants a soft kiss to my lips whilst his fingers wipe away the tears resting on my cheeks. i kiss back, his lips soft and warm, enough to calm me down instantly.

he pulls back, resting his arms on my lower waist as his forehead sits against mine.

“you can always trust me. i’d never, ever, cheat on you. i’m sorry for how i used to be, and if i could change it, i promise you that i would, in a heartbeat. i want to be better, for you. you mean more to me than anyone else in this world, and i want to show it. you just have to let me try. okay?”

his lips stay parted as his slightly ragged breathing fans against my face, his warmth contrasting with the harshness of the climate around us.

“okay.” i say, nodding my head. he brings his lips to mine, smiling into the kiss as i gladly reciprocate, feeling his hands bring me closer into him.

“come on, let’s get you home.” he says, pulling away and holding his hand out for me to take. i smile warmly, intertwining my fingers with his as he pulls me closer, kissing my forehead gently. we begin the short walk home, tom stopping after a few seconds. he pulls his jacket off, tugging it along his frame. he takes a sleeve, gently threading my arm through it, repeating his motion with my other arm, until the material completely submerges me, my body warming up almost instantly.

he smiles downwards at me, kissing my cheek quickly, noticing the way a loud yawn escapes my lips after he does so. he bends down, placing one arm behind my neck, the other scooping me upwards by my legs as he carries me bridal style, a surprised gasp leaving my mouth at his actions, however it soon turns into a loud giggle once he begins planting large kisses across my face. he is grinning from ear to ear, his heart warming at the happiness plastered on my face, his hold on me tightening as he places one last kiss to my nose.

his arms remain securely around me as he walks slowly, the rocking motion of his steps causing my eyes to feel heavy, my eyelids beginning to fall shut, on the verge of falling asleep. my breathing slows, close to slipping into unconsciousness, however tom’s low voice prevents me from doing so. he clearly thinks that i have fallen asleep, yet i hear the phrase pour from his lips as clear as day.

“i love you.”

requests are open! keep sending them in, there’s a lot in my inbox atm but i’ll get to it as soon as i can!!

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #kaulitz twins #kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz #tomkaulitz #tom kaulitz smut

[goo-berz]

Talking about Vivziepops' weird art of minors

I've never been the biggest fan of Vivziepop, I've always knew about their weird behavior (since like 2018 ~ 2019) before they were as popular as they are now.

She has done a lot of weird stuff but the thing I mainly wanna focus on in this post is their character Addison. Addison is a 17 year old gay effeminate fox humanoid from Zoophobia, he's in a relationship with a 19 year old Teacher's assistant named Gustav. Many people get confused by this but Addison has been CONFIRMED to be 17 years old by Vivziepop. Someone had changed Addison's Fandom Wiki page back in 2019 to say they're 18, when this is not true, Vivzie has confirmed they're 17. I did go back and change the age to 17 on the Wiki with the correct age in hopes that people stop believing incorrect information.

Vivzie confirming their age: https://twitter.com/vivziepop/status/1128064633166712832

The tags in this post brings up the fact that Addison is nearly 18 - not 18 yet - They're still 17.

Edit: Oh yeah, I want to add on context to this tag: "I should mention the characters canon ages are higher then when I first made them because as I wrote the story any big age gaps were uncomfy"

I've heard multiple older fans of Vivziepop say that Addison was originally meant to be 14-15 years old, and I've heard that Gustav was originally meant to be in his 30s.

Addison was created 2010, She began shipping Gustav with Addison in 2011, and Zoophobia began in 2012. So the fact she shipped a 14-15 year old character with a 30 year old one to begin with, and encouraged her friend to draw intense NSFW art of them together is so.. weird.

Anyways, Vivzie also hints at Addison being a minor, using wording indicating how young they are in age in their Blogpost introducing the character

"I finally created a few concepts, but the one I have been toying with the most is a young character much like Gale. An albino boy, with an identical albino sister"

If you need more proof, Addison is also preyed on by Mirage, a character that SPECIFICALLY goes after minors... that's basically her main personality trait, that she's a p3d0. She goes after Addison because he's a young submissive boy and easy to manipulate.

Anyways, back on topic. I personally I don't see anything wrong with the age gap of 17 & 19, however I do think it's weird to have this relationship between Addison and Gustav.. he's not exactly a teacher, but he still holds power over Addison due to the fact he's the voluntary teacher's assistant. Back when Zoophobia was popular there were people who found this dynamic weird & creepy considering the fact that Addison is basically a student under Gustav. Also, I just wanna bring this up because I find this weird, Gustav was originally under the impression that Addison was a year one student and much younger than he actually is, yet he still tried to flirt with him.. erm..? Yeah..

Anyways, that isn't the main point. The point is that Vivzie DREW NSFW OF HER 17 YEAR OLD CHARACTER AND HIS 19 YEAR OLD TEACHER... erm.. holy cracker balls? Literally how can anyone excuse these?

Vivzie also drew Gore of Addison too, but I won't post it here cus it's very graphic and weird and idk why she drew it!!

And .. possibly the worst drawing of them all.. Holy titties what is this... If you're wondering, the stuff under the censors is ACTUAL NSFW. It's not suggestive, or implied s3x, It's their ACTUAL WEE WEEs.

These accounts are poorly archived, so it's hard to find the original post and what it originally said. However after some digging I was able to find out the original text said

“ dollcreep: “ i can only see ‘dark-Günter’ exposing him and addi to a public area like so…so. yeah. Günter says; merry Christmas. god this question is super old. vivz reminded me about it"

So, I'm assuming that Dollcreep drew this, not Vivzie. However I was also able to find out from the limited resources there is that Vivzie reposted this to her accounts Vivzie-zp (unarchived) and ZPanswers, which are also now deleted, but if you view the accounts tumblr archives over the Wayback machine you can see that she did indeed repost this. http://web.archive.org/web/20120801182958/http://zpanswers.tumblr.com/archive

If you don't know, Dollcreep and Vivzie used to be best friends, however aren't anymore. Dollcreep originally designed Gustav, originally named Gunter, and Vivzie bought the design from them. Vivzie designed Addison back around 2010, and taking into account the old caption, this means that Vivzie.. allowed Dollcreep to draw NSFW art of their underaged character ;-; oh my gawd!!! Whatthe heck guys... like I said at this time Addison was still 14 - 15 and Gustav (Gunter) was in his 30s.

Also I want to mention that this drawing was from 2011, so that means Vivzie had this pedophilic ship with Dollcreeps OC for years, & after she bought the rights to the character she decided to.. keep the pedophilic ship and write it into Zoophobia by making him Addisons teacher. That's crazy..?

Anyways, because I brought up Mirage. Mirage is written pretty bad. She was a character meant to be in.. or scrapped from Zoophobia, she was meant to be a villain who preyed on the kids, mainly Addison. Her main trait is that she likes kids

Vivzie's made a bunch of drawings of Mirage preying on kids which I think is pretty weird, especially considering how poorly some of them represent it and make it seem like a joke instead.

and yeah, we all know about this infamous drawing she made of Mirage preying on Kestrel, a 14 year old. Pretty weird

Also when I looked at the web archive of Vivzie's ZPanswers blog (a Zoophobia ask blog) she accepted many weird asks about Kestrel, 14, and Addison, 17, like an ask asking if Kestrel had ever been fucked by a horse & how Kestrel, Addison & others would act when they were drunk. Which is also pretty weird to me I won't lie

Anyways that's all for now. Sorry if this is all over the place its 4am and I just wanted to get my thoughts out that vivziepop is kinda a weirdo

#vivziepop #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #vivzie #zoophobia

[missveryvery]

FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:

Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.

we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.

Feng Xin's insults:

That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.

Mu Qing's insults are:

that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.

He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose

His statues? whack.

Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.

I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.

Here's one:

Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)

I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.

But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?

They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!

I think the difference is what they think will happen:

Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.

By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.

But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.

Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.

Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.

It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.

They have another argument earlier about JL:

-Feng Xin assumes the worst

-Mu Qing explains

-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)

-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other

-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about

Then we have this:

Feng Xin's pattern might be:

Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.

There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.

I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.

He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.

Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.

But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.

Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.

Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.

As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.

Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.

It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.

I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.

I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.

Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.

#tgcf meta #fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #xie lian #I added alt text this time like a good human being

[anonzentimes]

I'm sorry this is a stupid question, but I'm a bit confused. What do you think Nagito's relationship with the other ultimates is like? Does he genuinely care about them? Or he just see them as talented people who can bring great hope and nothing more?

(I think it's interesting that it was shown in Danganronpa 2.5 that in Nagito's perfect world, he was friends with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko. I've seen so many people think that he didn't care about the other ultimates beyond their talents but I like to believe that he at least cared a little)

Wonderful question, I'd be happy to help with my interpretation!

Basically, the way I like to describe it is by separating his feelings by calling them warped love and genuine love. His warped love is more about status. Nagito doesn't expect reciprocation with this love because he wants to help from the side lines. He wants to be a stepping stone for the ultimates since he's not capable enough in the (false) hierarchy he's accepted to create such great hope. This is what he talks about a lot in Chapter 2!

For his genuine love, well it's what it sounds like, it is genuine love. But despite this fact he doesn't expect reciprocation for this either because of his self esteem and fear of his bad luck going after them if he gets too close. For genuine love he really does care a lot about the person more personally beyond just status even if he doesn't acknowledge it or even notice it, the only real time he understands is when Hajime's status is no longer there. He's so stuck in his absolute beliefs that when he's burdened with the fact he cares about Hajime when his status is gone and he is a despair inducing TERRORIST he is beyond conflicted at the fact he still loves and cares about him. His absolute beliefs override his genuine love and he doesn't quite understand his genuine love as much, Anything is okay if it's for the sake of Hope after all.

In Danganronpa 3 I believe Nagito only loves everyone with warped love at First. Through spending so much time with them he genuinely cares for his classmates quite a lot. It's sort of a mix of warped and genuine love there. His classmates know about him more beyond the surface from spending time together and him being there as well, it's to different degrees but for the most part the class just thinks he's a freak and doesn't like him much. Nagito doesn't mind since both of his loves, and general worldview/self esteem, allows him to think it's just because he's factually garbage and doesn't deserve reciprocation. Nagito distances himself with the class because of all of these things but genuinely does care about them personally and about their status, he's only shown full reciprocation by Chisa and only the slightest bit by Chiaki.

In Danganronpa 2 everyone doesn't know each other as well and it's mostly first impressions and preferences, Nagito mostly cares about status here since he doesn't know them as personally and in the prologue nobody knows enough about Nagito to form a full opinion on him. Nagito's meltdowns, coping mechanisms, worldview, and what not obviously lead them to dislike or even hate him when they're on display in Chapter 1 and onwards. They don't really care about him much, again to ranging degrees, but it's worse this time since he is quite literally at his worst mentally in the game and his moral grayness, luck cycle, and how he appears when hope is relevant serves as something dangerous for them to fear. Everyone hates him in the killing game and he has warped love for the ultimates in Danganronpa 2, he may have preferences but he doesn't really have much genuine love for them yet.

However, there is an exception to this. An exception big enough that he defies his normal behaviors of distancing himself from the Ultimates and wants their attention and time, an exception that is the biggest obvious display of his genuine love that we have, Hajime Hinata.

Nagito feels a connection with Hajime when they first meet and from a preference standpoint really likes and connects with him, this quickly shifts into genuine love. Nagito doesn't distance himself from Hajime he actively tries to get his attention, make a good impression, help him, and he playfully teases him. Nagito cares about Hajime alongside inherently status and that status allows his genuine love to easily happen. I said it earlier, but Nagito is beyond conflicted at the fact he still loves and cares about Hajime when he knows he's a terrorist. He's fond enough of Hajime that he kind of acts irrationally compared to what he usually does, and I think that is genuinely so sweet. There isn't anything specific he just feels a relatable connection without his worldview being able to get in the way of genuine love forming for him. Nagito cares and loves Hajime, his absolute beliefs that he uses to function are still more powerful though.

In Danganronpa 2.5 I think the reason he's friends with Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko is from preferences and genuine love since the simulation is using his school life memories! :)

In conclusion, it kind of depends on circumstance? Nagito genuinely loves his classmates from knowing them so long alongside their status, when he doesn't know them as well there isn't as much genuine love yet but there are preferences on the people themselves paired with the warped love about status. The exception is that he has such interest in Hajime from the very start had such a strong preference that he forms genuine love quickly.

Hopefully that makes sense! Thank you for your ask, if there's anything that didn't answer your question fully let me know <3

#nagito komaeda #danganronpa #sdr2 nagito #danganronpa nagito #danganronpa komaeda #sdr2 komaeda #komaeda nagito #sdr2 #danganronpa goodbye despair #nagito #komaeda #komaedology #sdr2 nagito komaeda #nagito dr #nagito dr2 #dr nagito #komaeda sdr2

[cymk8]

shadowlach supremacy!! i love seeing people enjoying the idea of them as a pair more and more they’re just so sweet together and compliment each other so well!

you’re art of them is amazing btw my fave has to be shadowheart and karlach with clive the bear it’s just so 🥺

anyways! i wondered if you had any thoughts on what their relationship would be like in act 2? we know it’s a tough act for shadowheart, do you think angst would ensue? would there be tension because of karlach’s intrinsic goodness clashing with shar’s cruelty? would she be an emotional support for shads? what do you think? would love know!

Thank you so much :""""))) and yeah ! i love seeing more and more people liking it like YES finally i will soon not be alone in being absolutely feral about them (I hope...)

but for act 2..... (this is gonna be a READ)

I think that there definitely would be tension between them in the way you brought up! I also think it doesn't stop there: survival at all costs is something that they both prioritize - but how they achieve it and what survival means for either of them...(cont)

I find act 2 to be really interesting in that it forces all of the characters to sort of 'flip' their worldviews. In a lot of ways, it is the real beginning to the end of their lives as they know it. It's an absolute shitshow: everyone's got some form of emotional distress from earth-shattering revelations, everyone's got anxiety-inducing questions over their morality...now slap all of that on top of the constant danger of the inevitable unknown and the all-encompassing need to survive? Damn. I'd be more surprised if the party had more than one day of peace and quiet. The ground is made of eggshells and they are all as graceful as bowling balls.

For the two of them, it would probably all come to a head over how they each view honesty: Shadowheart sees it as something to be earned and Karlach sees it as something inherent (especially when it comes to being a component of survival).

If we look at it through Karlach's lens...

Karlach views honesty as the one thing that she was able to keep throughout her time in the hells. it was also the one thing that let her live - if she was honest about herself, her needs, and the situation around her, she could more readily adapt and survive. If we make it even simpler: demons and devils lie. So what do you do when you hate them? You tell the truth.

Shadowheart...can't even be honest about things to HERSELF. She is simply hard-coded to lie about everything for survival. (It's too bad she truly fucking sucks at lying besides lying by omission...and it's still not a skill she has - she omits because damn, girly doesn't even remember what she is omitting :') )

There is no way Karlach doesn't pick up on it immediately. After a decade of putting up with that...she would probably be down to the last straw in terms of tolerance. Even less so since she probably trusts Shadowheart by this point in the story. I mean. She probably already died once and got saved by her. You would think some honesty would be warranted.

But no. Shadowheart literally lies to herself *all the way to the end of the fucking act.* Girly...she's not doing well.

Shadowheart spends the majority of act 2 completely confused. The lies by omission finally bite her in the ass - both the lies she was taught and the lies that she tells herself. And the worst part is she resists and insists. These poor bitches are both so fucking stubborn it would only be a matter of time before someone's fuse blows.

(and then they do the nasty and it resolves -)

But they do still offer emotional support to each other, no matter how clipped. They fight because they care after all. And that's what matters.

#shadowlach #sorry to say it ain't pretty BUT #its tastey. #we love a slowburn but one of them wants to GOGOGOGOGOGO #shadowheart #karlach #nothing is more juicy than ppl learning to love each other

[bibibbon]

Horikoshi and Izuku (RANT)

It's to no one's suprise when I say that horikoshi hates his own main character but the problem is YOU CAN HATE YOUR OWN CHARACTER BUT MAKE THEM WELL WRITTEN AT THE SAME TIME (gege is capable of doing it with yuji)!!! Hori doesn't do this instead of logically making izuku suffer a bit in the narrative with stuff that is LOGICAL AND MAKES SENSE he literally just gives izuku BS problems to overcome and worst consequences. Look Iam not saying he has to like izuku and make everything good for him but I am saying he should treat izuku properly when it comes to the narrative and DEVELOP HIS CHARACTER. The main reason why Iam so upset about this is because Izuku is an interesting character who has so much potential to be better and he is the perfect main character for a story like MHA. I have said this before but izuku has SO MANY Parallels WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS it could be something as simple as shigaraki and izuku parallels or something as vague and hidden as aizawa and izuku.

Here are some issues that hori could of used and challenged his MC with:

Have him realise that he is WORTH more then he thinks he is - this is something very present within izukus character and hori did try/attempt to do this during the early arcs of MHA and the overhaul arc but it failed. I think this is one of the reasons as to why he is so self sacrificial is because he doesn't see his worth and lets be honest the narrative doesn't help him acknowledge it/ it makes it hard for him to do so but even if that is the case I do want to reach a point where he sees himself as worthy as of someone with worth.

Spend longer on Izuku's insecurities especially about him being an OFA user - it's without doubt Izuku has a lot of pressure to live up to when it comes to being the next and LAST OFA user which is something hori does try and tackle in the overhaul arc and a bit in ch 306 but it falls flat a bit. I feel like it would be better to have Izuku doubt himself from the get go when he gets the quirk and realises that he CAN'T AND DOESN'T know how to control it. Also, when Izuku realises he is THE LAST USER give us his thoughts, his fears, his anxieties. These are things that he would feel he is just a 16 year old with so much pressure on him that no one could handle.

Have Izuku realise that the way Katsuki and the way people treated him wasn't right also SHOW us how he feels about Katsuki and the apology in general - This is probably one of my biggest points because let me be honest katsukis redemption arc fell off for many reasons one of them being the lack of the victims opinion and before anyone tells me," oh izuku is kind he will forgive him and understand" or "obviously, Katsuki will be forgiven izuku cares for him" THOSE ARE BS CLAIMS BECAUSE IN THE EARLIER ARCS YOU CAN SEE IZUKU'S ANGER and negative emotions towards KATSUKI which hori just forgets about. Also, have Izuku acknowledge that yes people treated me badly and that I DESERVE BETTER

Have Izuku benefit from his relationships with other characters - what I mean by this is that in EVERY one of Izuku's relationships he never really gains something from them which makes it seem like he is distant with them so have the relationships he has go both way and not be one sided ( i wil go into deeper detail another time)

Focus on how getting a quirk has impacted Izukus life whether this be positive or negative - ever since Izuku has gotten into UA his life has dramatically changed but he hasn't. The only thing that cha he's about izuku is that he got a quirk that's it. Make izuku question this change make him try and understand if he likes this change or not? I mean he has friends now, his mum supports him, he has a father figure ( all might), he goes to one of the best schools and more. Have him feel confused about the change have him question if people would still accept him if he was his middle school self. Also focus on the negatives of him getting a Quirk, make him feel like an outsider he can't control his quirk etc.

Focus on Izuku's intelligence - Izuku is supposed to be intelligent this is when it comes to school work which we often DO see and his intelligence of strategy which is once in a while type of thing that WE NEED MORE OF. Have him rely on his intelligence to get by, when he is exploring with OFA have him try his own unique ways of releasing the quirk like OFA is power stockpile quirk so for it to do anything it needs to be released from the body which is something izuku can experiment with and him and mei ( a duo I love) can create support items to help this

Have him differentiate himself from all might / realise even all might is flawed as a hero - I mean NO ALL MIGHT BASHING but just have Izuku' s obsession of all might die down have him realise that all might has made mistakes and that he isn't some big great undefeatable hero but someone who tries his best and is reckless. Have Izuku understand that he can't necessarily be an exact copy of all might and that even all might caused some problems in hero society (unintentionally)

Izuku's anger - it's not unknown that when fighting and in the heat of a battle izuku can get angry especially when someone close to him is hurt. Iam all for that so I feel like it would be better to dive deep into that and explore why that happens also give him some consequences from those actions

Challenge Izuku's own moral beliefs - have him realise that hero society is flawed. That heros are flawed and so are villains. Have him question and change his morals especially when it comes to shigaraki. Can he really save him? Or is gran Torino right is death the only way to save shigaraki? Have Izuku strive for a better more equal society one that helps people and doesn't isolate others because of their differences?

Confront the problems he has with adults like trusting an adult to help you etc - we don't see this a lot with Izuku and honestly a lot of adults have failed izuku in his life which is sad like let's be honest even all might and inko failed izuku in their own ways

These are just a few ways you can improve Izuku's character and tbh there are definitely more I haven't included. You can also make izuku suffer from the narrative with consequences THAT MAKE SENSE!!!!

#mha critical #bnha critical #hori is a bad writer #horikoshi critical #izuku deserves better

[lord-squiggletits]

For the Salty Asks (forgive us for the avalanche, if it's too many you can pick your top three): 2, 9, 10, 11, 13 (Optimus), 20, 25 (IDW1), 26

uhhh honestly I feel a bit like a hermit who's out of the loop on what's popular/unpopular so some of these might be completely off the mark but here we go

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Mmmm I think most of my brotp's aren't shipped as OTPs to start with, so I dunno if I have any that fit this question.

Guess the closest example for me would be OPli/ta. I don't actively platonically ship them but I think platonic is way more interesting than romantic. I don't like the fandom's interpretation of romantic O/Plita at all + I feel like as one of the original "token woman" Autobots, I'd like to see Elita unshackled from Optimus as a love interest, esp because any official interpretation of them is probably gonna be written extremely heteronormatively/token romance between an action hero and The Girl. And the fanon version of them that's Strong Independent Girlboss Elita with whipped simp husbnad Optimus is just as boring and gross.

I just don't like the vibes and would rather them have some sort of friendly or regular relationship together.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

IDW1 Slide, who I've gone into detail about my hatred of in several posts, but the TLDR is that she comes off as some kind of mouthpiece character? Not a mouthpiece as in for the author's beliefs, but it literally feels like she only exists to shit on Optimus and call him a piece of shit. Her dialogue is so cheesily written ("literally fascism" is an actual thing she says) and her bitching/lack of cultural comprehension about Cybertronian history is so prevalent, that for a long time during my IDW1 reading I was genuinely confused as to whether she was supposed to be some sort of parody/strawman/mockery of someone IRL (her character comes off almost EXACTLY like an anti-SJW stereotype of a screeching harpy calling everyone she dislikes a fascist, and it's only Barber's very obviously left-leaning writing in other parts of the story that told me that definitely wasn't the intent). So then I was wondering "okay is she gonna like, randomly become evil and turn against the good guys because she's just that petty? I mean she spends all of her time bitching about how Optimus/the Autobots/Cybertronians in general are the worst ever and she also hates humans too so I mean maybe? Half of this story already doesn't make sense so I can see it happening."

Thankfully that didn't happen, but like. Slide is so goddamn annoying and ignorant and gets way too much page time dedicated to her angry monologuing (in Unicron aka the finale of IDW1 there's literally a whole half page panel of her bitching about how Optimus is an evil tyrant while Trypticon is dying behind her and it comes off as a poorly timed, bad taste joke). The narrative treats her like she's some important individual whose feelings are important and valid, but she's fucking annoying. Any sympathy she was meant to garner is canceled out by badly written dialogue and the fact that she's a Literal Nobody of a character who seemingly only exists to bash the decades old, beloved legacy characters. For the sake of, idk, talking about how fucked up Cybertronians are that they just shrug and move on when people die? Bc apparently it's some sort of sin to be numb after 4 million years of war (and war that's literally still ongoing while Slide is bitching) and just soldier on trying to get through it? God forbid that a military hierarchy fighting to keep neo-Decepticons and various other alien threats from colonizing Earth be run like a military in which orders have to be followed, people die, but you still have to keep fighting anyways? Idefk man I just hate Slide so much she's basically the embodiment of all of the bad aspects of Barber's writing personified.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Mutineers arc in MTMTE/LL. I feel like (whether due to early cancellation and/or JRO wasting time on too many side plots to give it its full depth), I dislike how the mutineers were basically boiled down to pure evil morons who are the most disgusting, despicable evil ever and the only reason the mutiny had Good Guys (TM) in it was because they were horribly misled and not because, you know, the mutiny was 100% a valid thing to have happened as retaliation against Rodimus and Megatron's captaincy.

Like, I'm not opposed to the idea of Getaway and his cronies being assholes (I personally thought Getaway was a GREAT slow-burn, puppet master villain/anti-hero), I just dislike how the quality of their writing degraded from MTMTE to LL. Felt like they (Getaway in particular) got passed the Idiot Ball and then the actual reasons behind the mutiny were never addressed, it was kind of just "oh Getaway died horribly so we're all friends now and we forgive each other and Rodimus/Megatron will just go back to being captains now."

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

You mean besides IDW Optimus because anyone who's been on my blog for like 5 seconds knows he's my biggest problematic fave skldfjskd

Uhhh I guess in the spirit of the previous question, Getaway. I feel like the fandom's hatred for him is overblown mainly bc it's a combination of Tailgate/Cyga/te fans going "HE GOT IN THE WAY OF C/YGA/TE AND ALMOST KILLED THAT PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL" and Rodimus or Megatron stans going "Getaway hates my fave?? But my fave is a good captain and deserves the world HE'S EVIL MY FAVORITE IS BEYOND CRITICISM OR REPROACH GETAWAY IS THE EMBODIMENT OF EVIL."

Like to me it seems as if the hate for Getaway isn't normal dislike or even people hating him because he's a well written villain. It feels weirdly like ppl really take Getaway's actions personally and hate him with the kind of passion you normally see reserved for actual real life horrible people. Or they like, see Getaway as an obstacle to [favorite character]'s happiness and not as an individual who, before the quality of his writing tanked, was actually an interesting character who maybe even had good points? It just feels like people mainly hate Getaway because he's the antagonist to more popular characters/ships and so they project their defense of their faves into virulently hating him.

13. Unpopular opinion about (Optimus)?

Honestly 90% or more of the fan content I see for Optimus is really boring/uncompelling to me, or really just comes off as out of character. It's either Optimus being reduced to an accessory to be shipped with someone (usually turned into some sort of moe cutesy uke type) or him being turned into.... idk some permutation of "feral irresponsible gremlin" or "One Of The Good Ones (TM)" or "anxiety-ridden damsel who needs to be rescued by his lover" or, in some circles, "character I project my issues with authority onto and try to frame as evil for things that aren't even evil."

Idk how to specifically describe it, it's just... a vibe? Most of the Optimus content I see doesn't actually feel like him at all. It feels like it's Optimus/Orion in name only, who got so separated from canon and distorted by fanon/flanderization/shipping/porn stereotypes that he now only vaguely resembles the character he's supposed to be.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Ahahaha I don't really go into the realm of pure ships honestly, plus this is the war criminal fandom where pretty much every character has killed people or committed crimes or is just generally scarred by war so uhhh

Idk I think Thundercracker/Melissa is a pretty hinged ship? They get along and cope surprisingly well with all the shit that happens. There's no angst or betrayals or misunderstandings or enemies, they're just very respectfully together. Sdfklsajfksd

25. How would you end (IDW1)/Would you change the ending of (IDW1)?

Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending of IDW1 on both sides of the story. On Barber's side I would've preferred if every single planet including Cybertron didn't get fucking eaten leaving them all stuck on Earth together, and I would've also kept Trypticon alive while... minimizing Slide's role, to say the least. I don't have a problem with Optimus' ending bc I actually think that Optimus' arc in Unicron is like, one of the few 1000% good things Barber wrote for him it's just. It's pure Optimus in his best form.

On JRO's side I would've cut out the last panel with the alternate Lost Light and left it ambiguous as to whether the quantum jump successfully copied the ship or not. I dislike the vibes of the canon ending that implied that everyone moving on with their lives (almost universally to new and exciting and happier places) was the "sad" ending and going on a permanent road trip is the "true, happy" ending. In the author's notes I think JRO said that he wanted to give the readers an ending that would allow them to imagine their faves continuing to go on adventures, but I think compromising a good ending to a story to appease fans is fucking stupid + fandom has never needed permission or approval from the author to write alternate, happy endings. So why ruin a poignant, melancholy ending about how endings come with new beginnings and sadness/nostalgia can be mixed with hope and happiness by going "sike lol they're all living happily ever after on their space cruise."

Also I wouldn't have randomly killed off Ratchet for no reason because like. What was that even supposed to accomplish. I'm no stranger to writing major character deaths but like. He just fucking died of disease off-screen and that was that??? Why, like what was the narrative/symbolic purpose of that besides just making the ending more sad? Maybe to emphasize how going back to Cybertron was the "bad ending" and the quantum Lost Light is the "good ending" since on the LL Ratchet is still alive? But see the paragraph above for why I don't like that.

26. Most shippable character?

The most shippable character to me is whichever character I think is the sexiest, because if I think they're sexy it makes me want to ship them with everyone. "Guards, fuck that man for me" etc etc. Lmao

#squiggle answers #long post #i put / through ship names not bc i hate them but bc #i want to try and keep them from showing up in the maintags for the ship

[beeindaclouds]

hii! Is it alright that write all DSMP x reader but the DSMP (either cc or c) turns into their opposite gender? And they all like being confuse about their new shape of body and voice?? If you are okay with this one :D

Hallo, thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy <3

Reader discovers Genderbend!DSMP

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, C!Philza, C!Technoblade, Nihachu, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude

Click here before requesting, please ^^

Reader: GN - They/Them

Ps. Everyone is CC! Other then C!Phil and C!Techno. And I didn't include Eret, cause I feel like they're pretty genderfluid in their style already, so nothing would change

❝ Dream ❞

He's smug about it

Like "Oh wow, I have boobs, lemme check" kind of smug

Idk why but I can see him being so proud of being a women and looking attractive

To the point where he uses it against you and makes you question your sexuality lol

♀️♂️

❝ Georgenotfound ❞

George would be too embarrassed to show himself

He doesn't hate how he looks, he's just shy about showing you specifically

You have to reassure him many many times that it's ok and that you'll love him no matter what

And when he comes out you just can't help but shower him in compliments

♂️♀️

❝ Sapnap ❞

I can see him wanting to try womens clothes, to feel just how they are

He chickens out a little, cause he has to see boobs to change, but after he's just showing off his new fits and acting like he's in one of those "make over scenes" in the movies

Like, yeah, he could have done it before in his man body, but it's a different experience in a womans body

Not a fan of heels and he feels bad for you if you wear them

♀️♂️

❝ Badboyhalo + Skeppy ❞

Bad's completely flustered and all over the place, it takes him a while to get used to bring in a woman's body

Skeppy is absolutely loving it and planning the amout of youtube videos he can make out of this situation haha

I imagine you three making many make up and outfit videos, just for pure entertainment

Just leaving the fans confused to wth happened

♂️♀️

❝ Quackity ❞

Boobs

Is all he has to say

He wears the same thing, hoodies and a beanie, and just moves on with his life

But he does freak out when going to the bathroom, cause yk

Makes many jokes about you liking him more cause he has boobs now haha

♀️♂️

❝ Karl Jacobs ❞

Especially stuff he couldn't wear before, for fear of backlash

Karl definetly starts trying all different types of styles and clothings

I can see him liking very flowy skirts and puffy ones too; he finds them very comfy and adorable to wear

♂️♀️

You definetly make him wear the strawberry dress, you literally have been waiting for an opportunity to do so-

And make up, lots of make up!

❝ Wilbur Soot ❞

"My eyes are up here buddy"

He tells you when you first found him in this new form

Honestly nothing much changes, other then the fact that he's more flirty and confident lol

Also imagine him in cute light academia outfits!!!

♀️♂️

❝ C!Philza & C!Technoblade❞

You had to stifle a laugh when you first saw them

The two just contacted you with an "s.o.s" and a "come here asap", so you thought the worst

But instead you found two women in the place of the two men you knew

Phil actually looked a lot like Mumza with his long curly hair

Nothing much changed for Techno, other then the fact that he would absolutely not get out of his cloak because his "body felt too revealing"

Poor Techno :'D

♂️♀️

❝ Nihachu ❞

She's a pretty boy

One of those boys that are born with pretty privileged, like George

[Not that she doesn't already have it-]

She honestly likes the change and is still comfortable wearing "femminine" clothes

You can't help but be mesmerized by how adorable she looks, even as a male

♀️♂️

❝ Punz ❞

"Who wears the pants in the relationship now?!" you happily bragged as you saw Punz

Man wouldn't move from the bed, he was in shock at the discovery of his new body

A little interested, but mostly shocked

Jokes aside, you stayed by his side and reassured him that he looked absolutely beautiful no matter what

And with a bit of buttering up, he got comfortable enough to show off his new body

He looked like a babe, obviously

♂️♀️

❝ FoolishGamers ❞

Man's still beafy, muscle and all

We love big strong beafy women!!

He feels a bit weird, but mostly doesn't see must change

He also tried wearing heels for fun, bad idea

For some reason I imagine you and Tina making him give you two a bit of a fashion show

Maybe inviting female Karl too haha

Imagine the stream y'all would have!!

♀️♂️

❝ Awesamdude ❞

Sam is confident

Like yes, I am the most beautiful women you have ever seen

Bow down to such beauty u.u

Nothing much changes with him either, he feels great in how he looks and loves every second if it

#dreamsmp #dsmp #mcyt #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #dream x reader #georgenotfound x reader #sapnap x reader #badboyhalo x reader #quackity x reader #karl jacobs x reader #wilbur soot x reader #nihachu x reader #punz x reader #foolish x reader #awesamdude x reader #beescenarios

[oifaaa]

Please tell me how Roy’s characterisation was massacred for N52.

I understand how Jason and Roy’s relationship can be annoying where Roy never questions Jason and just follows him around blindly, never second guessing him. Roy is hard on himself and lacks self esteem and so thinks highly of Jason when really he should be angry, maybe even jealous of the power (all caste magic) Jason has. Then i get confused because I’d think someone going through a bout of depression and self hate and self medicating would have low self esteem and would think everyone is better than them and that they are a fuck up so isn’t that accurate portrayal of how awful Roy’s situation is?? Doesn’t that show the way Roy struggles just as he has pre N52?

Additionally Jason always compliments Roy on his greatness and abilities (Not in person which is annoying because grr he has to be manly and can’t compliment a friend) but in his little thought bubbles he’s always talking about how great Roy is and how grateful he is to have him.

Now this is where I get more confused because surely Roy respects Jason and through Jason’s monologues he clearly respects Roy though he may not say it out loud. The point is, people exaggerate so much how Roy is used as a crutch for Jason to look cool but Jason is constantly mentioning Roy and how important he is for the team. (Though I won’t deny there are times he may call him a goofball or undermine him but I mean cmon it’s literally ‘Red Hood’ and the outlaws, not ‘Titans’ where they’re equals, so it’s understandable that Jason would have swords and magic and stuff and save the day whilst Roy is not the main character). Idk I just haven’t noticed Roys character being MASSACRED when he’s with Jason.

People say Roy’s biggest trauma is having to be with Jason but I don’t know why that’s so bad like don’t just say it’s shit writing, fucking give me the evidence. (Sorry for the rant no offense to you what so ever). If the writing is so bad then blame the writer idk why Jason gets so much hate.

Anyway, please tell me how and why Rhato is the worst comics because I don’t think it’s that bad personally and I’d get shit for saying that.

Ps. This isn’t even about JayRoy or Lobdells disgusting history it’s literally just about why Rhato gets so much hate. I’m so confused so please explain /gen.

Thank you, have a nice day :)

Okay im gonna start this off by saying I think your looking at this the wrong way, your treating RHATO as just a stand alone story and if you want to know why people hate it you have to look at it in the broader context of it being a continuation of three different characters stories bc that is what it is - kory Roy and Jason are all pre established characters with rich backgrounds and personalities that have been building up for decades if you ignore these histories your gonna get push back from fans and Lobdell actually took it one step further

I'm gonna be short and sweet with this bc people more knowledgeable about roys character can put it way better then me but lets get straight to the point - the reason why people say Roy harper was massacred in RHATO is bc his whole character was changed- his back story, his relationships, his addiction, a lot of his personality and hell even his tattoos were changed and changed for the worse as a lot of it seemed to get done just to better suit Jason who was also changed a lot by lobdell but not to the extent that Roy was - a lot of it comes off like lobdell didn't even bother to read any comics with Roy in them before he decided to try and shove him into a role that wasn't suited for him which if your a long time Roy fan watching a character you adore get a complete overhaul just so he fits with the character the author uses as a self insert your gonna be a wee bit agitated

When your writing stories in the dc universe you have to be careful as a lot of these characters are main characters in their own right when they team up together sure you can focus on one more then the others but you have to be at least abit aware of each of the characters your including back stories motivations and personalities and what lobdell did was use the fact that the new 52 just happened as an excuse to create whole new characters with the same names as these much loved pre established characters and this rightfully pissed off a lot of people who loved these characters especially bc the things that happened in the n52 have had a lasting effect as these are the comics newer fans are reading and if your favourite character has been given a complete overhaul into a character you no longer recognise too bad a lot of people are gonna go forward only seeing Roy as Jason Todd's side character the guy in the baseball cap

#ask #anon #im one of those people that hate RHATO with a passion #i dont acknowledge it even exists half the time #but yeah if you like RHATO thats fine #nothings stopping you from liking it #just be aware that theres a reason why people dont like these comics #like i didnt even get into kory who imo had it the worst #like all these characters have been damaged by RHATO #but theres definitely a tear system #with jason at the bottom #then roy and at the top kori #and yeah i didnt get into the other stuff that makes RHATO the worst #but this post is already so long #and im not particularly fond of long posts so ill end it here

[cazperx-x]

GARETH FIC INSPIRED BY TEENAGE DIRTBAG BY WHEATUS I BEG

I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH RGUTHIFK the remix is literally my ringtone 😭

Teenage Dirtbag

Gareth x fem!reader

918 words, no warnings im pretty sure, she/they pronouns used throughout

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥁💀💀🥁💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Cause I’m just a teenage dirtbag baby…

“Gareth! Emerson! Earth to Emerson helloooo?” Jeff was smirking while waving his hand in front of the fluffy haired boy's face. 

“Huh? Yeah I’m paying attention.” The boy in question muttered, his cheeks now tinted red. 

Gareth was once again caught staring at the popular table, full of people who shoot balls into laundry baskets as Eddie called it. 

Well not at the table specifically. More like someone sitting at the table. With their dickhead boyfriend. Who just had to play the previously mentioned shoot balls into laundry baskets game. 

“Uh-huh. Sure you were. Anyway, I was talking about how Y/N and Andy were caught arguing behind the school yesterday and-”

“What?!” Gareth whisper screamed, now clearly invested in the story. 

“Ha! Knew you were looking over at Y/N’s table again.” Jeff chuckled. 

“You need to get over your little crush Gareth, not to be the reality fairy but there's no way they even know you exist.” Eddie said, before rolling his eyes. 

Gareth ignored Eddie and turned to Jeff. “So were you lying about Y/N and Andy having relationship issues?” Gareth frowned, secretly hoping the relationship would turn to shit so he could swoop in and act as a knight in shining armor. Maybe just in time for prom.

“No actually. Apparently they were arguing in that alleyway outside during basketball practice. Y/N seemed pissed. Apparently they were arguing about how Andy never wants to do shit they want too, how they have completely different interests, etc.” 

“Gareth, If you care so much why don’t you just talk to Y/N and, I dunno save them from the evil force that is highschool jocks?” Eddie questioned. 

Fuck, it was a very good question. 

“Well even if I was on Andy's radar he’d kick my ass. Simple as that.”

“And he won’t after you quote unquote get the girl?” Eddie tilted his head, poking holes in Gareth’s very flimsy logic. 

And on that note, lunch was over. 

Oh well, it didn’t exactly help Gareth’s mood. But he did catch himself smiling while you and Andy were screaming at each other in the gym. 

~~~~~~

“Look Chrissy, really nothing against you, you're amazing, but sitting at the basketball and cheerleader table makes me want to vomit.” You sighed, turning to the one cheerleader who even bothered acknowledging your existence ever since you started sitting with Andy.

You and Chrissy often joked Andy could win the worst boyfriend of the year award, although you had doubts he wouldn't lose to Jason. You kept those to yourself though. 

“No offense taken.” Chrissy smiled. “If you hate it so much, why don’t you just sit somewhere else?” She asked. 

You sighed again. “Andy.” You muttered. 

It was the week before prom, and you were thanking the heavens Andy decided to skip today. 

“You don’t like him that much either.” Chrissy chuckled. “Why don’t you just call it quits? Don’t you have your heart set on another boy anyway?” 

“Well yeah, but I doubt he even knows who I am, unless you count ‘Andy’s new girlfriend who won't even last a month’. After all, I’m just a teenage dirtbag, and he’s Gareth the great.” 

“Wouldn’t he qualify as more of a teenage dirtbag than you?” 

“Well- I don’t even know anymore.”

“I have an idea.” Chrissy smiled. 

“Does it involve breaking up with Andy and getting the boy of my dreams?”

“Yep.” She giggled. 

“I’m in.” 

~~~~~~

“There's no way I’m going to prom. First off it’d be depressing as hell to show up without a date, and second off I'd probably end up watching Andy and Y/N be all coupley and shit.” Gareth groaned. 

Eddie looked taken aback. 

“You’re telling me you don’t know?”

“Know what?” Gareth looked at the dungeon master confused. 

“Y/N broke up with Andy this morning. He’s pissed, apparently he stormed out of the school.” Eddie chuckled. 

“Yeah, Nancy said she heard him fuming about how he has no date to prom now.” Dustin chimed in. 

“Maybe prom night’ll be your chance?” Jeff questioned

“I mean, can we be too sure though? Y/N still doesn’t even know I exist-” Gareth stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse to not go. 

“Well either way I’m making you go with me, if my mom finds out I’m going alone or all my friends have dates she’ll probably try to set me up with the neighbor. “ Jeff groaned. 

Great. Now there was no way for Gareth to get out of this. 

~~~~~

“Are you sure about this Chrissy?” You nervously asked, standing outside the gym doors on prom night. 

“Yes. And if he says no, we can always leave and eat ice cream at my place.” Chrissy smiled. 

“Remember, you got this okay? Confidence is key.” 

“Yep, I got this. “ You said, before walking into the gym. 

Now or never you figured. 

~~~

Welp, here he was. 

Prom night, alone by the punch table. 

Just before he was about to find Jeff and tell him he was leaving, he saw something that made his lip start to shake. 

You. Walking towards him. 

This has to be fake, a dream or a cruel prank or something- how do you even know who he is?

“Gareth, right?” 

The boy nodded frantically.

“I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby. Come with me Friday, don't say maybe. I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you.” You smiled, a genuine, real smile. 

“What time?”

~end!~

#i love this song so much thanks for the anon #im gonna start working on more either tonight or tomorrow #gareth emerson #gareth x reader #gareth emerson x reader #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson stranger things #gareth emerson stranger things x reader #gareth stranger things x reader #stranger things

[the-bar-sinister]

Hello! How are you?

I have a question actually (obviously): Assuming I wanted to get into danganronpa... where would I need to start? I've heard about games and showd and anime and whatnot. I've tried starting the anime at one point, but found it kinda... confusing? Overwhelming?

I'd very much appreciate it if you could give me some pointers 😅💜

The anime is unfortunately literally the worst place to start. Its SUCH a bad adaptation! I saw the anime first and hated the whole series for years until our partner sat down with the actual game.

You want to start with Danganronpa 1 (also called Danganronpa Trigger Happy Havoc). Its a visual novel and a mystery story so you can either play it yourself, or just look up a playthrough on youtube by your favorite commentary or no-commentary lets player.

The Game Grumps played it, if that's something you're interested in, but it's actually a very moody and dark game so I reccomend a no-commentary playthorugh or a more low key/serious commentary for the first time you enjoy it.

There are also different social paths where you can interact more heavily with different characters, so if determining which of those relationships you see is important to you, I reccomend playing through it yourself for the first time.

The video game is way less overwhelming than the anime, because the anime tries to pack in like 500,000 words of mystery story into 12 episodes. The pacing is super terrible.

The pacing of the actual games is much slower and easier to manage. I think you'll like it!

#ask answers #friend mail #danganronpa #dangan ronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #drthh #dangnaronpa meta

[mattsdae]

idk how tumblr works but here’s some of my mattrey opinions

SFW

- ppl always act like trey is the romantic and matt’s the sexual one when i feel it’s the opposite?? like matt has always had very stable and long lasting relationships compared to trey.

- no hate to the dude, but him getting cheated on made him a sleezeball

- i always imagine matt as just.. a guy and trey as the worst person on earth /pos

- like, he was a total womanizer during the 90’s-00’s

- matt is just.. a sweet guy. like he’s the type of dude that i’d bring home to my parents.

- even though matt is a literal sadist (idk where the article is, but during an interview, he talks about how their work environment is ‘like a frat house’ before describing how he forced an intern to eat too much food and they threw up)

- but he also said if he had one sexual superpower it would be to please one woman really well (which is literally the sweetest thing ever)

- he also seems like a lowkey sleeze but he probably grew out of it when he met angela

- also, i’d like to point out how sweet and touchy matt is with angela 💕💕

NSFW

- trey is a freak. like not in a normal ‘i like to be tied up’ type of way.

- he’s the type to describe literal war crimes when telling u about his fantasies.

- matt’s the type to try anything once but isn’t super into any of it

- it can be frustrating not knowing what exactly turns him on, but he’s more turned on by the person he’s with and how attractive they are to him, not what they’re doing.

- he does like getting his hair pulled/played with. that’s literally the only thing that could get him bricked up within seconds.

- trey is noisy as hell

- he just lacks shame, so he makes whatever noise he wants. even if it annoys the shit out of all the neighbors, he’ll still scream ur name if he felt like it

- matt isn’t noisy, but he doesn’t hold back either. he’s naturally kinda quiet other than little grunts or moans.

- trey passes out as soon as he cums. like, it takes about 2 minutes TOPS for him to fall asleep

- like, he’d fall asleep on u if he could

- (he’s tried)

- matt is an aftercare king. warm washcloth to clean you off, a bubble bath to relax and a towel straight out the dryer for when you get out.

- usually u try to do aftercare for him because the first time you tried, he was confused and said that nobody’s given him aftercare before.

- he’s just such a sweet guy when he isn’t skull fucking you until you throw up (sorry if that’s too much)

- kinda random but trey seems like the type to watch insane porn. like the shit that could put you on a watchlist.

- remember the scene where randy is trying to jack off when the internet turned off? that’s what trey’s internet history looks like.

- not even in a horny way, he just thinks its really funny (aka physically repulsive)

- he uses a vpn religiously just bc of the porn

- also kinda random but matt could pull off ‘mean dom’ so well. like, so well you question if he’s really roleplaying or not.

- really good at degrading and humiliating, but only if u ask

- he acts like he only does it because you ask, but let’s be real, he loves treating you like dirt during sex.

- i take back what i said, matt’s also a freak

- not in the same way as trey, but he’s definitely kinky

- he likes being dominate because he gets to be mean. like, he’s genuinely an asshole and loves to make fun of people, so doing that AND getting you off is a win-win

- he also likes acting like he isn’t into it (?). like, he’ll check emails while you give him head, scroll through twitter while you ride his thigh, watch porn while fucking you, the whole nine yards.

- of coarse, he doesn’t really mean it and during normal sex, he looks like he’s on cloud-9 the whole time.

ok that’s all for now, probably gonna flesh out these ideas in the future <3

((edit; accidentally said masochist instead of sadist))

#matt stone #trey parker #mattrey

[not-available-for-comment]

Do you want to share what kind of things you had in mind are less uncomfortable than people are lead to believe? Im intrigued by your tags but I cant tell if you mean that being read as female is less uncomfortable or doing things is discouraged and marketed as uncomfortable to people treated like women or…?

Oh, sure! I mean, hmmm I feel like my answer is cancellable but hey let’s go for it I don’t have enough other things going on in my life (lie).

So, my growing up is extremely difficult to explain both accurately and briefly, but for the purposes of this discussion let’s put it this way: I grew up very sheltered but that very sheltered environment was sometimes in the context of a broader unsafe environment. Very sheltering family living in an unsafe neighborhood, for example.

This meant that by the time I was in my late teens/early 20s I was in a very weird relationship with caution and breaking the rules. On the one hand, I had the normal young adult desire to experience things outside of my previous realm of knowledge and break away from my parents. On the other hand, I had seen and experienced just enough actual danger and hardship in life to be very very cautious of any actual break with the extremely conservative way I’d been brought up. And I was living at home during college to save money.

So. Almost 20 years ago:

- I am 20

- I am a true love waits conservative Christian celibate virgin complete with promise ring

- I have never dated

- I am vaguely afraid of alcohol for various reasons

- I am vaguely afraid of non-Christians for various reasons

- I am confused by and very awkwardly “hate the sin love the sinner” towards gays (I am not aware of the rest of the lgbtqia spectrum yet)

- I am not exactly afraid of going out at night, but I am afraid of doing so outside the suburbs and without a car

Then

I go to Europe. By myself. (Not entirely literally—it was a program set up by my school. But I didn’t know anyone I went with aside from one girl, and her only as a distant acquaintance.)

I start traveling with new friends (non-Christians!) who don’t live in my town. This means I frequently end up taking the midnight train home, which arrives after the busses have stopped running.

I have to walk through the town at midnight, in the dark.

Everything I’ve heard about being a girl means this is “asking for it”. Unsafe, undefended, unaccompanied. I spend most of my trips quietly praying my mom doesn’t somehow become psychically aware of what I’m doing.

And?

Nothing happens.

I don’t say this to demean or downplay the people who have been assaulted in those circumstances. We know, statistically, those assaults are rare, but they are still real and traumatic.

But for me? Seeing that when I placed myself in a situation I had been assured was teeming with muggers and rapists, and surviving with nothing weirder than a drunk crab-walking home from the bar to show for it? Was a revelation.

Watching French women make out with their boyfriends in the street was a revelation.

Watching my friends moderate the amount they drank and behaving responsibly, with, at worst, a hangover to show for it the next day was a revelation.

Learning that I could just leave when people got drunker than I was comfortable with was a revelation.

Making friends with a bisexual girl who managed to be very patient with my clumsy attempts at proselytizing in spite of being young herself was formative. Making friends with a straight ally who refused to let me trot out the usual “compassionate conservative” talking points when I talked about queer issues was formative.

This has strayed a little from your question

But perhaps not as much as you think. My experience—which granted did involve deploying skills I already knew, like situational awareness and caution with nosy strangers—convinced me that the constant litany of “ways to keep safe” do as much to harm women as the actual dangers of being a woman. The first midnight walk across town was terrifying. The fifth was maybe not as relaxed as I would’ve been in the daytime, but significantly calmer.

I changed the way I walked when I was in Europe. I’ve always been a fast walker, but I developed an easy, confident, purposeful lope that I still love while I was walking home at night or exploring with my friends. Is that walk part of being a woman? I know some people who know me would say no, but to me it is. It’s one of the things I won with my freedom to be an independent person. How comfortable is that?

I often see a subset of women online—young women, yes, but many middle aged women also—who have extremely clear ideas about what is “acceptable” if you’re a woman. How much makeup you can or can’t wear. Where you can go. How confident you can be. How you cut your hair. What sort of places you’ll go to alone. And so often. So, so often. I look at these supposed “rules” that “society” has “agreed on” for womanhood. And I think, “You need to talk to your mother 30% less” or “Dump his ass” or “You need less boring friends”.

Women: You can wear less makeup. You can wear MORE makeup. Maybe someone will be weird about it. Probably not everyone will. Most people should not care. If most people DO care, hang out with different people. It’s your face. Be yourself. “Society” gives less of a shit about any specific thing than you think, though I am not naive enough to claim you can’t aggregate enough difference to draw extra attention.

Doing the thing is uncomfortable the first time or two because you’re nervous. But it is catastrophic far less often than women are led to believe. I think in rhetoric and in our own minds that initial discomfort gets conflated with actual danger and transgression to a deeply unhealthy degree. I’m not arguing that people make unsafe decisions in highly conservative areas. I am saying that a surprising amount of living comfortably involves pretending you have a right to be somewhere and doing something until you and the people around you believe it. This may involve initial discomfort. In some circumstances that discomfort may escalate to a point you decide it’s not worth it to do the thing or do it in the same way. But if you keep doing the thing and are as kind as you know how to be? A surprising amount of things are possible.

And I wanted to address more than cis women because I think many categories of people are affected. I can’t speak much to the closeted transmasc experience (being perceived as a woman and receiving the same conditioning but for an identity you may not identify with). But I will say, it breaks my heart to see the way trans women encounter the same flurry of rhetoric about appearance and behavior that cis women do, only to an even greater degree.

In some ways (I really hope I’m not overstepping here) but in some ways the bullshit terf rhetoric of being “always able to tell” is better evidence that trans women are women than anything else. Which of us cis women have not been hearing since we were very young that we failed at being a woman in some way? Too skinny, too fat, too loud, too shy, too smart, too dumb, too horny, too frigid. How many of us have wretched memories of a sleepover or birthday party or lunch period where someone tried to pull the womanhood out from under us entirely, purely for social clout?

And yet. And yet! I love being a woman. It’s not better than being another gender, but it’s where I’ve always lived and I like it here. And I want more women, cis, trans, and everything in between, to love it too. Whether that means wearing frilly Lolita fashion or steel toed work boots. Whether that means working at the garage or working closing shift at the library. Whether that means having kids or not. Whether that means getting married or not. Whether that means having tits or not. Whether that means having a cock or not, and whether or not the cock is detachable. I want women to be allowed to be human. Humans who sometimes dare to do dangerous things, not because being reckless is necessary to being a woman but because being alive is a little bit dangerous sometimes. And I want trans women to know that extends to them as well. Not as an expectation that can be failed, but as an invitation to get here in the muck with the rest of us. It’s frustrating being a woman sometimes, but it’s also the goddamn best.

I’ve taken a lot of risks over the years. Some have paid off, some have led to heartbreak, but all have taught me new things. But nearly 20 years after I first screwed up the courage to walk home alone at midnight, I still believe that the actual doing is almost always less uncomfortable than the terrible version of it that lives in your head.

No idea if this is a coherent response to your question but it is at least heartfelt.

#long post #the unbearable gender of being #women and fear

[maxemilianverstappen]

it did feel like charles was definitely not expecting max to hype him up so much on the podium in austria (especially after losing to his championship rival at a home race u know, literally the worst scenario possible). as you said he ALWAYS seems to be on guard around others even in general, but it's even more so the case when max's there i feel, probably bc of the history they have together but also bc sharl maybe expected max to walk on eggshells around him the whole season, the same way he had intended to do? he must be confused as hell lol. but i have high hopes that the surprise of the champagne shower and max's overall spirit of fair play might have made him ease off a bit at long last, like it seemed like he truly had a lot of fun up there with the kid he used to hate the guts of 😭 can't wait to see how he'll act when max's the one standing at the top in an upcoming podium, perhaps he'll return the favor and won't be as tentative :)

He definitely expected a coldly aloof Max, not this approachable, good natured and smiley guy who was so eager to talk to him about their race as if they have been doing it for years and it is just their normal state of existence next to each other. Charles' perplexion was visible in Jeddah. Max was very relaxed and all bubbly and Charles was literally 😌 (i don't count Carlos' deadfish expression bec the guy disassociates even when he wins 😂) When he wins, Max is very open, which is something expected, but as you said, I am sure Charles didn't expect Max to be so happy for his win, too. Let's see what he'll do when Max wins.

Tbh, I don't have high expectations about the progression of their relationship if the championship fight gets closer towards the last rounds, because it is clear that it all hinges upon a mistake that'll come from one of the sides for all hell to break loose. As you can see from his latest interview, Charles is quite ready for it to turn sour.

Currently, they are keeping it civil mostly thanks to Max being enthusiastic about approaching Charles and them not having any questionable squabbles on track yet. But it will eventually happen. If it comes from Charles I wonder what Max fans will say. If it comes from Max, we all know what the other side will do, because they have team lh on their side, too.

Max has this charming innocence about him and I am sure it must be puzzling for Charles, too. He is genuine, he doesn't hide his reactions and emotions and he talks his mind. He is uncomplicated and just lets himself experience the moment and his emotions, unlike Charles who is a closed off and secretive person who controls himself more, sometimes unnecessarily so. I am pretty sure he doesn't know how to handle Max, lol. You can clearly see it in his eyes as Max just happens to him and he just goes along, unsure how to react, if he should reciprocate, how much he should allow himself to reciprocate before it would look all too unprofessionally friendly for two title rivals. While keeping up with the facade of professional detachment and respectful distance is important, i think there is also this inherent anxiety to avoid looking like a fool who fraternized with the enemy/rival in the event of losing against him.

I must say, I like speculating about what goes around in Charles' mind when he is next to Max, when he looks at him so sharply, observes him as if he is observing and trying to understand an anomaly... Most people don't prefer writing them from his point of view, but I really like looking at stuff from his perspective and I think he still has that coldness and distance from their past against Max, but also he is insanely curious about him because Max is a real marvel. Hnn, the possibilities of Chal slowly falling into a tormented love with Max while reflecting the fight he has with himself upon Max and Max trying to figure out why Chal is doing this to them both...

#i answer things #can't be arsed to put this under read more we die like the Ferrari engine

[scary-senpai]

For the fanfic ask game...I can't actually decide. XD How about any two of your choice?

Ahh! Thank you so much bestie <3 I really appreciate you dropping an ask. I did not get to this on Tuesday because brain melt (!), but seeing you in my notifications made me smile <3<4

You also get a third bonus question because You Are Great.

(link to fanfic ask game is here--feel free to drop a note! asks are my love language)

C: What character do you identify with most?

Garou. I've always gravitated towards overtly angry, troublesome male characters and I've recently come to suspect it has something to do with gender: growing up, I felt a lot of anger/frustration/confusion over my identity (not my gender identity, necessarily, but more like How to Human as an Autistic person). To navigate this, I over-corrected by confirming to whatever my idea of femininity was, in the worst possible way. (I guess I would say I'm a cis-female but I've never really cared that much).

Since I spent a lot of my adolescence trying to make myself smaller and weaker (because that's how I thought girls/women were supposed to be), I suspect if I had been AMAB I would have focused on becoming bigger and stronger.

In any case, I understand the quiet desperation of exercising until you pass out because of that lingering sensation of not-enoughness.

I also talked a bit about spending seven years with a toxic mentor that was frustratingly competent about a bunch of stuff (but just... horribly misguided when it came to personal relationships), and when I use one of the techniques he taught me (whatever Fist of Flowing Water Crushed Rock is, but for emotions), I inevitably flash back to that scene with Garou and the Tank-Top Gang ("I hate using this because it reminds me of him--").

Anyway, after that I left that job I went to touch grass/do something completely different (work in a yoga studio) because I just needed to... scrub toilets and fold a bunch of towels and untangle all the things I'd learned that were (in a sense) true, versus the concepts I wanted to embody and believe in and manifest. Additionally, my experience working there also informs some of the scenes I write with Garou in the dojo (mostly him griping about how nobody seems to take chores as seriously as he does, or how he keeps finding other people's underwear in weird places with literally no logical explanation for why that might be).

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

A thousand times, possibly a billion.

Just kidding, but it feels like too many. (The first chapter of Collateral Damage took me like eight months...I probably should have put it on ice for a bit, honestly)

Fic was my way of learning to write again, and I've never written any longform fiction, so multi-chapter fic in particular have been an experiment in how my brain works, and the tools I need to efficiently craft a story. If there are multiple layers to a scene, I don't always have the mental processing power to work out each aspect at once (what the character's say vs. what they mean, what they do / how they do it / what this indicates about them, plus any undercurrents of narrative tension or symbolism or whatever). So that's been a whole thing. I think I'm getting better at it, though. Flumptober Sexy Chess scene had a lot going on (and completely derailed all my deadlines), but knowing that I can labor on a beloved chapter for weeks instead of months was... a milestone, honestly.

"Kill your darlings before they kill you" is my new mantra, and unfortunately I had to learn that the hard way.

U: Share three of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@beileil, you're one of my favorite authors because of the way you blend so many things: humor, plot (specifically mystery), characterization and lovely prose. Even in an AU, the characters are very much themselves but they're also new and unique. One of my bad writing habits is that I will sometimes skip over description if it doesn't really speak to me, but with your stories I hang on every word--I remember reading the Hero Detective Agency and feeling completely emerged in that universe from the beginning.

@sharuruwrites, I think you are excellent at putting characters in Situations. I like how you manage to zoom in on some of the grittier aspects of characters (like how bloodthirsty Toji and Sukuna can be, or how Gojo is So Very Immature and Extra) and, without glossing them over, somehow make these traits more endearing (or at least understandable/relatable). I feel like every scene and small detail moves towards some sort of purpose, and if I blink, I'll miss something.

I guess my third favorite fic writer is my brother. I wonder if he remembers that we used to write silly stories about Mario sometimes (I was 12 or 13 which means he was 9 or 10, so I was probably typing while he was dictating). I am both insatiably curious and afraid to ask. In any case, he's still a hilarious storytelling and I hope to write more (original) things with him some day.

#ask game #asks #my writing #garou #splendiferous mutuals