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#religious pacifism
dopesotherstuff · 8 months
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Things you shouldn't teach bullied kids...religion edition
Apologies to Christian friends, but this has to be said:
"Turn the other cheek" is a rancidly bad piece of advice to give young kids who are being bullied or abused. It's right down there in the toilet of bad ideas next to "just ignore them". Especially since kids take such advice literally and will end up defenseless, confused and even more damaged as a result.
Remaining passive in the face of bullying guarantees that the bully will continue, will escalate, and will probably invite others to join the fun. And they will. Because here's a target who doesn't fight back--who thinks GOD HIMSELF doesn't want her to fight back--and bullies never, ever stop once they find a good target.
At least, until they face real consequences. The consequences could be being roasted, humiliating pranks, getting in trouble (if you can find an adult willing to step in), or just straight up getting a punch in the teeth, but whatever they are, they need to happen. Otherwise, the bully will just keep taking pleasure in an innocent kid's suffering.
[Below is a screed about the consequences of expecting kids to act like holy martyrs instead of protecting themselves, and some advice for young folks trying to reconcile religious pacifism with the need to protect themselves. It's not an easy read and wasn't an easy write, but I'm hoping it will help someone.]
Meanwhile, the bullied kid, who just wants to do the right thing and please God, ends up traumatized, beaten down and wondering why God wants her to be so miserable. If she cries, prays, quotes the Bible, or explains her principles while being bullied, she will be bullied even harder. (Do you really believe that those little playground sociopaths care what God thinks?) And by the time they're done with her, she'll be going through religious trauma to go with the emotional and physical stuff, because the advice to endure and pray just made things worse.
After all, God's not going to step in and help or even comfort her. God is not going to grant her unshakeable confidence and strength to shrug off her suffering. God is not going to warn the bully or make them feel bad. God is not going to prick the consciences of lazy, uninvolved teachers, parents, and administrators to make them get off their asses and help.
God is not going to help. That's what other humans are supposed to do. But in a typical bullying situation, anyone with the power to help has already decided not to. Adults will even hobble her further with the warning that they will punish her for fighting back. She will be left on her own, told she's not supposed to defend herself, with no idea what to do or how to make the abuse stop.
That is exactly what "turn the other cheek" sets bullied and abused kids up for. Wrongheaded religious pacifists may even try to say that the child's suffering is somehow normal or even beneficial. Which is, and I really mean this, an incredibly shitty thing to do to a child.
Now I know some zealots think that suffering is Godly for everyone regardless of age, and we should all be prepared to make sacrifices to keep our covenants, et cetera. But the reality is that encouraging children to passively accept bullying and abuse, or respond to it with piety and kindness, is going to destroy their childhoods. And that is way too much of a sacrifice to expect from someone who is young, vulnerable and likely to be scarred for life by the experience.
Kids are not meant to be martyrs. They are not supposed to spend their childhoods going through constant, agonizing, permanently damaging tests of faith. They are too little to even begin to cope with that, and any adult who thinks that kind of ordeal is good for them or just what they should expect as a good Christian shouldn't be allowed around kids.
Discouraging kids from standing up for themselves aids and abets their bullies and pretty much guarantees you'll end up with an anxious, depressed child with low self-esteem and stunted social skills. If they're also very Christian, the experience won't just damage their minds, hearts, self-image, and trust in others. It will also damage their faith.
Do you really think that's right and good? Do you really think that's what God wants?
Don't ever, ever tell bullied kids to turn the other cheek. Get off your ass, put your love into action, and give them real help with the situation. Get involved, help them learn to stand up for themselves, and while you're at it, have a little chat with the "responsible" adults who just stand by with their thumbs up their butts and let this all go on.
If you hide behind "turn the other cheek" instead of actually helping a vulnerable child, in the end, you won't get a wise and resilient kid who is strong in her faith, forgives everyone who hurt or failed her, and believes that her suffering was somehow worth it.
You will get a traumatized kid who very likely has both her faith and her self-esteem in tatters. And all because you gave her a Bible quote and left her to fend for herself instead of actually helping.
Is putting a child through this what you want? No? Then...
...stop failing kids by using a misguided application of a Bible quote to convince them that God doesn't want them to defend themselves!
Whether they are facing childhood bullies, an abusive parent, a lascivious priest, a would-be child trafficker, or a violent "friend", kids need to know that it is okay to stand up for themselves, protect themselves, and defend their own boundaries. Telling them to "turn the other cheek" instead is child abuse, because it sets them up for years of completely unnecessary suffering.
Yeah, I know Jesus said it. But would Jesus say it to a little kid who is suffering with no help? Would Jesus tell that child that it's not okay to protect herself? Do you really believe that? Because I can't. I seriously doubt Jesus was out to recruit ten-year-old schoolyard martyrs.
No real, loving God could possibly want that done to a kid. And no loving, Godly person would give advice that makes things easier for people who victimize kids, by discouraging kids from resisting.
And if making kids more vulnerable to abuse is their actual plan...it ain't God they're working for.
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Oh, and if you're young and can relate to this story:
Don't turn the other cheek when someone is victimizing you. Please. It will very likely make things worse.
Stand up for yourself. Do what you have to to keep yourself safe. Be clever, be tough, be sneaky, and be your own best friend, because you do not deserve to suffer.
You absolutely deserve to be happy and safe--yes, even if you're not a perfect person. And even if you have no friends, and none of the adults around care, and you have preachy idiots in your ear telling you to just endure it, you must remember that you deserve defending. Even if you have to do it yourself.
Don't just leave your protection in God's hands. Any adult who tells you to do this when people are hurting you is either deluding themself, or just making a stupid excuse not to give you real help.
Stand up for yourself, whether you're telling that creep on Facebook's mother about what he just sent you, laying a chili-pepper trap for that pig who always steals your lunch, or making your bully cry. Save "turn the other cheek" for conflicts with those who have a working moral compass, not abusers. You can forgive your bully and feel remorse for being a little mean after you have made sure that he never tries to pull his crap again.
It's far better to just be imperfect, and sort things out with God later, than to try to be perfect in horrible circumstances and end up broken, traumatized and struggling with your faith. Especially when you're just a kid.
Oh, and do yourself a favor. If someone is preaching extreme religious pacifism at you after hearing of your situation, they may mean well. But if all they do is preach and lay expectations on you and not help, you may well have to disappoint them. Unless they're actually stepping in to help you resolve the situation without having to retaliate and it works, your priority should be stopping the abuse as safely as possible by whatever means are at your disposal. Not satisfying a sanctimonious, uninvolved person's idea of what God wants.
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neptunes-blue · 3 months
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CORPSMAN’S PRAYER - VINCENT KRAWCZYK - THE PACIFIC
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short summary: Vincent Krawczyk graduates from Illinois’s Naval Hospital Corps School after first enlisting on the 8th of December, 1941
warnings: implied child neglect (sort of?), sailors get drunk and slip off chairs
(Main) characters: Vincent Krawczyk (oc), Terence Flynn (oc)
word count: 1.8k words
notes: this is like. The only time ever I will post my writing… if it disappears tomorrow I have succumbed to my shame and deleted this 😔. I had to format this on my iPad with no idea how any of this works…. Also if you see spelling/grammar mistakes no you didn’t I was too scared to share this to a friend to proofread ☹️ (looks at the ‘art blog’ in my bio hmmmm)
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Grant me, oh Lord, for the coming events;
Enough knowledge to cope and some plain common sense. Be at our side on those nightly patrols; And be merciful judging our vulnerable souls. Make my hands steady and as sure as a rock; when the others go down with a wound or in shock. Let me be close, when they bleed in the mud; With a tourniquet handy to save precious blood. Here in the jungle, the enemy near; Even the corpsman can't offer much lightness and cheer. Just help me, oh Lord, to save lives when I can; Because even out there is merit in man.
If it's Your will, make casualties light; And don't let any die in the murderous night. These are my friends I'm trying to save; They are frightened at times, but You know they are brave. Let me not fail when they need so much; But to help me serve with a compassionate touch. Lord, I'm no hero—my job is to heal; And I want You to know Just how helpless I feel. Bring us back safely to camp with dawn; For too many of us are already gone.
Lord bless my friends If that's part of your plan; And go with us tonight, when we go out again.
— Navy Hospital Corpsman’s prayer 
When Vincent was 5, he woke up in his home to nothing.
When he tried to focus on where he imagined the hallway, there was nothing but black. And from the kitchen he heard a faint drip and nothing more. 
It’s hard to recall a memory in the muffling black dark. It’s more of a feeling really, cold icy dread that travels down your spine and keeps you at a standstill. 
Vincent still remembers how his body— much smaller in his youth, chattering with fear on the dusty couch. Too scared to call out for his parents.
10 years later, he’d brought up the memory at the dining table and was flattened by his father’s admittance to a fuzzy memory where he forgets to take him off the couch and into bed.
Currently, Vinny is 19 and fumbling with the neckerchief of his dress blues. His brow knotted while Terence Flynn shined his shoes.
“Vinny, how in hell are you gon’ take care of your wife? 20 and you can’t tie your own kerchief?”
Krawczyk swivels to face Flynn like you would in drill. His face in a crooked smile.
“20 in a week actually. I thought I told you yesterday that I was 20 next week.” He says in a voice dripping with a very matter-of-fact tone, a crooked grin plastered on his face.
“I’m gonna start praying for your future wife.” Flynn half-snorts, rolling his eyes. 
Vincent listens to Terence’s back click as he stretches, taking a ‘well deserved’ break from his shoe-shining; it was a lousy attempt to seem presentable and handsome for graduation. Terence Flynn, mousey-faced and dark-haired tucking away at least some of his antics for today.
Vincent had complimented how nicely Flynn’s chevrons were stitched once. Terence had flushed red and muttered ashamed that his mother had sewn them on for him.
Within each stitch a gentle kiss of a mothers love tucked under the dark fabric of the Navy’s pride— that’s what Vincent imagined anyways. He had responded with a quiet ‘oh’ and looked at his own chevrons that still had stitches leaking from the edges of blue fabric. 
Krawczyk tried to stare back into the mirror and ignore the eruptions of jealousy that burst across his face.
Men dressed neatly in their Navy dress blues begin to leave barracks, putting away shaving kits and slicking their hair back with their caps in hand.
“Bu-ddy?” 
Terence whistles and clicks his tongue, already standing at the door out of barracks. 
“Christ!” 
Vincent glanced at Terence and then back at himself in the mirror before quickly scampering after his friend. Finally figuring out the intricacies of his neckerchief while his shoes hit the plywood floor.
Vincent's rowing team had been best in Missouri, he was the best batter in baseball, captain of the swimming team, and one of the top boxers in school. 
It didn't count for much, all his trophies and awards were in a box underneath his bed. 
Krawczyk wouldn't know until after his enlistment had ended that his parents had pawned his gold medals off when he'd left for the Navy. Vincent would understand when he came back. Forgiving, sweet, war-torn Vincent who would believe his family was going through tough times.
His photos remained in the box however– the same crooked grin even as his face matured. Collecting an inch of dust.
The winter wind had calmed to a soft breeze (thank the lord) and Chief took to the stand saying speeches Krawczyk seemed to block out with his anticipation.
Rows of navy men with their chests puffed out with the boyish pride that never left them even as men. Preparing to leave for war with the promise to serve and a prayer for survival. 
Thomas Murray, a tall, gawky man with blue eyes and blonde hair had been a surgeon before all of this; Chance Henderson always wanted to be a doctor who and thought this was the quickest a cheapest way to get there; shy Samuel Davis who blushed easily and hated using the communal showers was plain kind-hearted and liked the idea of helping wounded; Dayton Bishop was smart and steady-handed, he was suited to the role of a corpsman with square eyes and a handsome jaw.
Terence had smirked at Vincent when he told him he joined up because he thought it’d make him popular with the ladies. 
Vinny had roared with laughter, telling him that he’d, ‘never even get a nice girl to look his way’.  
Flynn had tried to counter him, reminding Vinny that he had a girl— ‘A girl that left him’, he had responded with. Flynn wanted to argue but Vincent turned the topic too quick.
‘Colours, present arms!’
Vincent was beaming. 
The whole thing felt like his High School graduation but fancier. And if it wasn’t an important ceremony he wouldn’t have stopped himself from laughing but, he’d be lying through bared, grinning teeth that he wasn’t pouring over with pride. 
He (rather excitedly) stepped onto the stage, shaking hands with the CPO and then to the SCPO who passed him his graduation paper. Vincent was only able to glance at his name ‘Vincent Phillip Krawczyk’ scrawled in the middle of the paper before he had to ‘calmly and mild-manneredly’ walk across the stage.
"I solemnly pledge myself.”
"I solemnly pledge myself…” The bright faced men echoed. 
“Before God and these witnesses.”
“Before God and these witnesses.”
“To practice faithfully all of my duties.”
“To practice faithfully all of my duties.”
“As a member of the Hospital Corps.”
“As a member of the Hospital Corps…”
The band marched out soon after the Corpsman Pledge, Anchors Aweigh cutting through the dewy morning air and sending out that good ol’ Navy pride. Vincent could’ve sworn he saw Terence’s eyes water as he muttered the lyrics under his breath.
“STAND NAVY TO SEA, FIGHT OUR BATTLE CRRYY!”
Flynn roared, hopping from bar stool to bar stool— hand on heart while the other swung a bottle of beer. 
Davis was bright red, with 7 drinks too many he had joined Terence in his performance. Vincent clapped, repeating Terence and Davis’ “So vicious foe steer shy-y-y-y!”, despite not having even one drop of alcohol that evening. The rowdy sailors had scared off most of the other bar patrons. Dayton sat smartly as ever, Murray was playing craps with the increasingly drunker Chance and the other boys— Mark, Jones, Sutton, Kidd, Freeman, West, Patrick… were either pink-faced and whooping or challenging the other to another game, drink, or bet.
“Y’know, back in my home-place, Missouri I used to drink like there wasn’t a God!” 
“Anchors aweigh my boys! ANCHORS AWEIGHH!”
Dayton didn’t seem to be really paying attention to Krawczyk’s yammering.
“My pal, Nate, he drank beer like it wasn’t a Wednesday afternoon. Never trust a usual mild-mannered Missouri man, we might all seem pleasant but as soon as he gets a drink too many he’ll sock you right in the face if you even mention his favourite sport team’s rival team— I nearly got socked in the face for it once, can you believe it?” 
Vinny bursts into laughter, not really taking note that Dayton didn’t join in.
"Farewell to foreign shores, we sail at break of day-ay-AY-AY!”
“You’re not drinking.”
Vincent perks up when Dayton speaks.
“Yeah— yeah, no, I'm not a drinker," Vinny shrugs. "Christian, I keep it to special occasions." He finishes, grinning.
“Uhuh. Isn’t this a special occasion?”
“Someone has to be sober enough to hold caps when you all retch whiskey in the bathroom.”
Dayton shrugs, swirling his brandy on the rocks.
“Drink to the foam, until we meet once more! Here's wishing you a happy voyage HOME!”
And with the end of the second verse, Flynn missed the barstool he was jumping to by a foot and cracked his head on the side of the counter.
The sand was soft at Nunn beach.  
Vinny liked beaches, he liked the waves, how the seawater dried on his arms and left white salt stains on his skin. He even liked nursing his good friend after slamming his own face into a bench, who now had a rapidly growing lump above his right brow.
The sun had sunk halfway under the ocean, sending out stretching wands of orange light that sparked crashing waves yellow. It turned his and Flynn’s faces amber and made his bruise just slightly more obvious. 
“Finally put those corpsman skills to good use.”
Vincent was grinning— Terence was not. 
He reached into his wrinkled blues, pulling a silver rosary over his head, careful to not bump his tender lump. Terence cleared his throat, trying to clear the shame in his voice. 
“My gal got it for me but you know uh. We broke up”
“She left you.”
“We broke up!” He insisted, with a huff. Flynn turned from Vincent and admired the carving of Christ. Hanging by his hands on the silver cross, intricate swirls that seemed to grow from his hollow body and border the cross he was strung across. It seemed to glimmer white in the setting sun.
“Take it. A parting gift. Or an apology— I don't care. Or really believe in that crap anymore anyways”
“Don't call it crap.”
“Sorry.”
Vincent tenderly accepted the gift from his friend, thumbing the cross.
“Tell me a story, Vince.” Terence’s voice was flat, eyes glued onto the horizon instead of his friend.
“Well. Once me and my pal Nate thought it'd be funny to throw rocks at the school greenhouse.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
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anarchonist · 1 year
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I really need liberals and other non-violence advocates to understand the main problem with their position on non-violence: proclaiming that you're never going to resort to violence is an invitation for violent people to escalate their violence against you or the people you claim to defend.
Moralizing people for not being 100 % openly and proudly anti-violence is not only a tone-deaf, but an actively dangerous thing to do. A person might in their heart of hearts be fully against violence of any kind, but by trying to get them to openly assume a hard pacifist stance in order to claim some intangible moral high ground, you are putting them in a dangerous position: now fascists and bullies will assume that the person is an easy target.
It's a tough pill to swallow for the "marketplace of ideas" crowd, but people don't always treat you the same way you treat them. You assume that if you openly declare your intention to not resort to violence under any circumstances, your opponent will automatically respect that - or if they don't, there will be some kind of consequence from above. From authorities, from the public, hell, from God himself. But that isn't a given. What you're doing is throwing yourself at the opponent's mercy and telling them to do whatever they like. You're assuming a lot about their humanity, which might not even exist.
And that's what this is about. When I keep saying that violence is the only language fascists and bullies understand, it isn't out of some deep immoral desire to hurt people and just trying to find "acceptable targets". It's not even always about the violence against fascists itself. It's about keeping that threat looming, keeping the people who would like nothing more than to hurt you guessing: "If I start escalating violence against this person, will they fight back? Perhaps I shouldn't risk it, I could get hurt. And violence is only fun when it's one-sided in my favor."
Violence is ugly. Violence is brutal. Violence causes damage that may never heal. You maybe shouldn't find violence in itself fun - if you do, then you might be close to the kind of person who's just looking for an acceptable target (like fascists are) - but violence is sometimes necessary. And since fascists, like all bullies, are cowards, even the slightest chance that they might get hurt themselves might deter them, might keep them from more violence.
So no, proclamations of non-violence do not help in deescalating violence, they do the opposite. They are an incredibly dangerous thing to do when confronted with violent fascists who would like nothing better than having a non-resistant punching bag. You do not even always have to openly assume a pro-violence stance, sometimes simply keeping the bully in the dark about whether or not you're going to fight back might make them hesitate.
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witchofthewest17 · 8 months
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Pea soup fog >>>
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kaijuposting · 1 year
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As someone who was raised with shitty religious beliefs, as someone who basically had to deprogram themself, as someone who made a choice to be kind and supportive to people who got out of cults, I loathe the idea that once people join the Precursors, hivemind, or whatever, their lives are essentially over, that even if they do escape they still have to die because... reasons. It bugged me when it happened to Brina Travis in Pacific Rim: The Black, and I'm not exactly thrilled to see Steven DeKnight tweeting how he'd love to do it with Newt Geiszler.
As a queer person, I really extra hate the idea of a queer character getting literally taken over by aliens, and then having to die to "atone" for something he wasn't even responsible for. It's a gross failure to understand the concept of culpability, which is a key element in any sort of fair justice system; which makes it one of the shittiest reasons to kill a queer character ever. (Of course, it's a shitty reason to kill any character.)
It kinda makes me wonder how Steven DeKnight sees a person like me, a person who worked hard to get out of some awful bullshit, who occasionally still struggles with things I never asked to be put into my brain - what does he think of my existence? Does he think I need to "atone" for things I had no control over?
I wish I could get people like DeKnight to understand that stories about gay characters like this aren't deep; they're just heartless. They're not profound; they just send an awful message about who needs to die so the rest of society can live.
My fanfics feature a number of people who work with the Precursors/Masters, and I have very deliberately chosen to depict them as people who joined their side for very human reasons. They're there for the same reason anyone might be in a cult, whether that cult is religious, financial, or whathaveyou. Some of them are more complicit in doing harm than others. Some will never give up the cause, and would therefore never be safe to let loose in society at large. There are others in my fanfic world who will one day realize that they were basically scammed, leave the cult, and live with the regret of having chosen a wrong side. I they have a lot of reparations to do. But I also believe that self-improvement is a human right.
And I suppose it goes without saying that my fics feature a lot of queer people who get up to all kinds of shenanigans and also live, because fuck you is why. Hell, I have an OC who figured out how to psychically connect with the hivemind, chatted with the Precursors/Masters, and figured out on his own that they were kinda full of shit, because sometimes you talk to somebody offering you something awesome and you realize that things don't add up.
I'm just... tired tonight, and I'm so tired of queer people and abuse survivors getting thrown under the bus for cheap Hollywood drama.
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w-ren-n · 7 months
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Mother Marijuana and Jesus
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thermesiini · 1 year
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knives and vash abandoned each other :(
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tellingittash · 1 year
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Religious Studies Term Of The Day: Coast Salish
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butchratchettruther · 1 month
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Thinking about my ocs again
#the passionate and reckless Saffiyah who has experienced so much pain and was born into death but loves and lives and cares nevertheless#who witnessed atrocities and struggles with ptsd and felt hollow for so long and just tried to keep on running from her past in an attempt#to feel happy because that's all she really wanted which only destroyed her more but she got better and she healed and things aren't perfec#and she still has bad days where nothing feels real but she has good days too and she can live in this world and be happy#Miriam who learnt to distrust and close herself off from the world because those who should have protected her failed her#Miriam who's hurt people and feels bad about it and is trying to make amends every single day#Miriam who shut the world off to protect herself who is now learning to let her walls down again#Rosanna who cares and loves but fucks up and hurts people because she's too arrogant for her own good and thinks she knows best#Noon who's sweet and kind but also obsessive and full of self-loathing and religious trauma#Noon who doesn't want to hurt people but whose pacifism is inherently hypocritical and flawed#Iris who's been isolated from everyone around her for so long because of who she is who makes herself seem small and meek because she's#scared people will hurt her who's spent so long being put down by other people she's begun to believe it#Iris who just wants somewhere to belong above all else#talking about ocs#will probably add more later
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restauranthistorian · 2 months
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Anatomy of a restaurateur: Clifford Clinton
Rarely is the word fantastical used to modify the word cafeteria. Nor are restaurant proprietors usually thought of as powerful vice crusaders. [cover, 1940s booklet; below Pacific Seas] A major exception of the latter was Clifford Clinton, creator of two of Los Angeles’ most memorable cafeterias. Both Clifton’s Pacific Seas and Clifton’s Brookdale were indeed fantastical, exotic, and composed…
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AAPI Heritage Month: Christian Missionaries, Ethnicity, and State Control in Globalized Yunnan
May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, and we're highlighting some of our new and forthcoming titles on Asian history and culture.
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About today's pick:
Following the Communist Revolution of 1949, missionaries were kicked out of China, and proselytizing was outlawed. However, since the beginning of the reform era, China has witnessed a massive return of missionary workers. Today there are more Christians in church on a given Sunday in China than anywhere else on the globe.
This book investigates the interaction of Western missionaries, ethnic minorities, and Han Chinese converts with the Chinese state in an increasingly globalized China. Based on extensive ethnographic fieldwork conducted in Yunnan, it tries to make sense of the disparity between official state rhetoric and everyday reality. Examining morality in the context of the free-market system, spatial practices, linguistic activity, and Christian welfare organizations, Gideon Elazar reveals the ways in which the previously conflicting Communist Party and Christian “civilizing projects” have reached a measure of convergence, enabling local authorities to treat missionaries with a degree of tolerance. Elazar shows how this unofficial arrangement relates to the social realities and challenges of the reform era, including ethnic culture and identity, Yunnan’s many social problems, and the integration of ethnic minorities into the state system.
By exploring the continuously shifting social and religious borders negotiated by converts, missionaries, and state authorities in Southwest China, this book sheds light on the larger issue of contemporary religion in China’s global era. It will be of interest to researchers of religion, Christianity, and minority groups in the People’s Republic of China.
Gideon Elazar is Lecturer at Bar Ilan University and Researcher in the Ariel University Eastern Research and Development Authority.
Learn more at https://www.psupress.org/books/titles/978-0-271-09555-4.html.
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jewish-sideblog · 3 months
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I feel like people have such a limited view of the Shoah as something that killed religious Jews living in Eastern Europe. Certainly, that’s the majority of Jewish deaths from a raw numbers perspective. But that narrow view erases so much suffering.
Imperial Japan was allied to the Nazis, so Jews in East Asia and the Pacific forced to flee or die as Japan expanded their empire. Fascist Spain was sympathetic to the Nazi cause, and it’s not like the Sephardic Jews could easily flee into France after 1940. The Axis powers had colonized Algeria, Iraq, Libya, Morocco, and Tunisia at that point, so North African Mizrahi Jews weren’t spared the horrors. While the US government didn’t directly kill Jews, they denied us refugee status during the Shoah, and they did nothing to prevent the spread of multiple US American fascist parties and white suprematist groups. The Vatican, unofficially allied with Fascist Italy, handed over the names and locations of Jews they had converted to Catholicism decades or centuries prior. Families who didn’t even know they were ethnically Jewish were dragged out of Catholic Churches during Mass and sent to slaughterhouses hundreds of miles away. There were precious few diasporic communities throughout the world where Jews were safe in the 30s and 40s.
The Holocaust spanned entire continents. The Holocaust was global.
Edit 04/02/24: This post wasn’t written about Israel, and you shouldn’t make it about Israel. In either direction. The Shoah should not serve as a justification for the unnecessary abuses of the Palestinian people by the Likud government. Simultaneously, the Shoah was not a “lesson” to be learned by Jews, you cannot make a reasonable comparison between the Shoah and Gaza. This post is not about Israel and Palestine. Do not make it about Israel and Palestine. The deaths of our ancestors are not a tool with which you can make your argument.
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porcelainseashore · 2 months
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Us
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Pairing: Guitarist! Leon Kennedy x Singer! Fem! Reader
Summary: You've joined Chris, Claire and Leon in Stars Rebellion as the band's new lead vocalist. If you thought chasing fame was hard, dealing with your growing feelings for a certain blonde guitarist might just take the cake.
Content & Warnings: Rock bands, friends to lovers, romance, slow burn, feelings realization, fluff and angst, swearing, recreational drug use, drinking, implied alcohol abuse, sexual harassment, suggestive themes, panic attacks, religious guilt, other Resident Evil characters (Chris, Claire, Ada, Wesker, Jill, Luis, Irons, Steve).
Authors' Note: Mostly imagined RE4R Leon in this, though he's a cocky little shit in the beginning and mellows out later. As inspo, I’ve had Ethel Cain’s Michelle Pfeiffer on repeat and you’ll see why in the story. Special thanks to AliBelleRosetta for your wonderful feedback!
AO3 Link
It had only been a few weeks since you’d joined the Stars Rebellion, the band you were currently in, thanks to the recommendation of a friend of a friend. You’d somehow coasted along through college, finally free of your parents’ clutches, and made a new life for yourself along the way. It was as if you could be who you really were, without any tied past or history holding you back, and you’d never felt more alive.
You were backstage, warming up before it was time to head out for your first performance. Chris had come over to give everyone a pep talk, while Leon tapped out a beat on the body of his pacific blue Fender guitar impatiently. Claire was nodding away to her brother’s words as she frowned at herself in the cosmetic mirror, the bright LED lights illuminating her flawless skin. You sat at the back, quietly keeping to yourself as you always do, ignoring the jitters in your hands. The adrenaline was kicking in now, you were used to it. Soon, you’d be a completely different person. It was as if once you were on stage, a match was struck and you were on fire.
For now, you contented yourself with recalling the events of how you ended up with this motley crue. It had been a warm, humid Thursday afternoon, when you were done with your classes for the day, and you made your way over to one of the rental practice rooms at the back of a second-hand record store just a little off campus. Your friend Jill had told you that another friend of hers was looking for a new vocalist for their band. Seeing how you’d been singing on and off with various student bands that never really had the drive to go anywhere, she hooked you up, stating that said friend, Claire, was the most determined person she’d ever met.
So here you were, knocking on the door of the shabby, makeshift rehearsal room, covered in countless band and anarchic motto stickers.
“Come on in!” A chirpy, high-pitched voice called out.
The door creaked on its hinges as you opened it by just a crack, enough for you to poke your head through.
“Aw, she’s a shy one,” a boy with floppy, blonde hair who was sitting at the corner, hunched over his guitar remarked. His tone had no hint of maliciousness in it, just pure curiosity.
“Shut it, Kennedy.” The lady, wearing a distinct red leather jacket that matched the color of her hair tied back in a springy ponytail, rolled her eyes before greeting you with a warm smile.
“Hey…” She stuck her hand out, as you cautiously entered the room, taking in the new faces around you. “I’m Claire. You must be Jill’s friend.”
You returned back a feeble smile as you shook her hand. “Yeah, uh, and the Stars Rebellion, huh?”
“That’s right,” a beefy guy with cropped, dark brown hair behind the drum kit piped up. “Our previous vocalist left,” he paused, with his brows furrowed as if he had been reminded of something unpleasant. “You know how it’s like these days.”
You nodded understandingly as he continued. “We’ve got a sweet gig in about two weeks, so we need a replacement fast. You heard our stuff?”
“Yeah, ’course.” Jill had sent you all the recordings and info you needed to prepare yourself for today.
“Great, so-”
“Whoa, hold up a second,” Claire interjected. “Older brothers,” she sighed. “You know what they’re like.” She pointed towards the drummer. “Speaking of which, that’s my very own one over there.”
“Chris, say hello,” she ordered.
“Hi,” his monotone greeting accosted you while he waved over with a drumstick in hand. His confident and no-nonsense persona struck you as someone who was the natural leader of the group.
“Don’t worry about him, he’s really a cuddly bear underneath,” she whispered loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear. “Isn’t that right, Chris?”
He grunted in reply, still looking as stoic as ever, his square jawline unflinching, as if his sister’s words had no effect on him.
“Anyway, I guess you can already tell, I’m on bass.” She swayed her hips a little, gesturing towards the instrument that was strapped around her.
The blonde cleared his throat, seemingly irritated at being relegated to the position of the last person to be introduced.
“And that.” She pointed over to him. “Well, that’s just Leon.”
With a bold smirk, he cradled the guitar to his chest, as his fingers danced along the fretboard, unleashing a cool, intricate riff that spiraled through the air.
“Also a fucking show off,” Claire retorted.
You caught his gaze and the bright blue eyes that lured you in dangerously close, like you were Icarus flying towards the sun. He was one of those boys your father had warned you about. Handsome, charming, but the devil in disguise. You could still hear his stern words about perdition and hellfire booming in your ear. You closed your eyes before they hurt too much.
“So, erm, why don’t we start with the first track on our demo?” Claire’s voice snapped you out of your reverie.
Blinking your eyes open, you bowed your head slightly in response, before getting into position behind the mic. You can do this. A silent prayer reverberated through your head, as the opening chords played.
And just like it happened every time, that magical switch flipped, and you became someone else entirely different from yourself, yet it belonged to every part of you. As you bellowed, growled and sighed breathily into the mic like a rockstar on acid, you noticed a change in the air around you and how your future bandmates looked at you in awe. It felt like an electric current coursing through your veins. It felt like coming home.
You only needed to go through another two more songs, before they were completely floored and decided there and then that they wanted you in. The vibe between the four of you was great, there was no denying that. And you had already started throwing in some moves that were usually saved for performances with Leon, as all of you jammed together.
“That was fucking awesome!” Leon exclaimed, with Claire following suit. Even Chris was smiling widely.
“Yeah, that felt really good,” you panted, a little out of breath from the exertion.
All at once, Chris patted you on the back, cementing your entry. “Welcome to the family.” You felt your heart tug at the last word. Could you really belong here now?
“Nice to finally have another girl in the band!” Claire blurted out, as she pulled you in for a quick hug.
“Mm hm, very nice.” Leon gave you a cheeky wink, before Claire smacked the back of his head.
“Behave.”
“Oh, I will,” he snickered.
You shuddered, wondering how a silly remark like that could get you so riled up, as you chose to suppress whatever thoughts that came bubbling towards the surface. He was just one of those cocky bastards who would let fame get to their head, you discerned. Probably had a bunch of groupies lined up too. So you paid no more attention to him than needed.
A large, rough hand landed on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “You good?”
You shook yourself out of the daydream, coming back to reality backstage, as you eyed the imposing, broad figure in front of you. “Yeah, I’m ready. Thanks, Chris.”
“Don’t mention it.”
As you strode out onto the stage, the crowd clapped and whistled, though the reception seemed rather lukewarm. Perhaps most of them were waiting for the later bands, who also happened to be the more established ones, to play. It didn’t matter though. Your job was to get them hyped up, and you knew how to do it well.
Leon nodded at you, indicating that he’d start running through the beginning licks of the song on the setlist you’d all prepped. At the same time, he gave you an encouraging smile, which eased the tension a little. Even though you’d only got to know him a few weeks ago, you soon realized that your first impression of him wasn’t exactly the most accurate, and that despite being an insufferable prick, he had another side to him that was caring and gentle. He’d patiently helped you run through the songs with him, and even took a couple of your suggestions in improving them. He hung out with you outside of band practice, wanting to get to know you as a person, and trying to make you feel comfortable within the group. Most musicians had a stick up their ass and would’ve never given you the time of day. But he did. You’d even go as far as to call him a lovable asshole.
As the whirring of Leon’s guitar filled the space, you clenched your fist, pumping it above your head as you let out a low snarl into the mic, before belting out the lyrics, your voice raw and powerful as it soared over the riffs and the steady rhythm of the drum and bass. At a particularly heavy drop, you leaped into the air, before landing on your feet and tearing through the vocals as you rocked out with Leon at the front, playing off the energy you exchanged with each other.
It was infectious, like a feverish dream, and the crowd’s excitement grew. Among the sea of bodies pressed together, you could just about make out the look of enthusiasm on their faces, their eyes sparking with the thrill of the moment, as they jumped, moshed and cheered to the music. Time seemed to pass by so quickly, as one song flew into the other. In between, you made sure to introduce the band, thank the organizers and the audience themselves, coaxing more screams and shouts in unison as you teased them about hearing another song, what it was about, praising them on how great of a crowd they were, and with a sly wink, asking them if they could give you more. And they were more than happy to oblige.
In the final track, a devilish grin broke out across your face as you turned towards Chris and Claire, both of them laughing and shaking their heads as they knew what was coming next, before you faced the audience again. Tapping your foot in time to the beat, you murmured sultrily into the mic, “You wanna see me swallow this mic whole?”
The crowd went mental at the proposal as your velvety laughter rang out across the venue. “Come on, you can do better than that.” You pouted, licking your lips suggestively. “How much do you want it?”
Once the crowd roared, you nodded in approval and pulled the cord of the mic taut between your hands, making a grand show of it, as you tilted your head back, slowly inserting the head of the mic downwards into your mouth. As it went in, you bit at the bottom of the head, gripping it securely between your teeth, as you went hands free and a scream ripped through your throat at the climax of the song. 
Sweat and energy radiated from every pore, as your band members kicked into action. Leon jutted his hips out, launching into a fierce, breathtaking guitar solo, his fingers pressing and weaving in and out of the strings like a blinding lightning. Claire remained the grounding force in a whirlwind of melodies, keeping a consistent beat effortlessly, as her head swayed from side to side. Chris added to the wall of sound with each strike and rattle of the snare drum, quickening the pace as he worked in the bass drum pedal and clashes on the cymbals in perfect timing, his eyes laced in concentration on the controlled chaos unfolding before him.
To say you ended in a bright explosion of sound was an understatement. The four of you hugged each other tightly and bowed to a resounding chorus of cheers and hoots, stamping their feet for yet another encore. You saluted and waved at them, your final words spilling out into the mic in gratitude, “Thanks so much, we are the Stars Rebellion! Have a good night!”
As you headed off stage, Leon pounced behind you, pulling you flush against his chest in a sweaty hug as you gasped in surprise. His hair was in a mess, darkened and clinging to his forehead in damp tendrils. “Holy shit, you were a completely different person up there! Y’know, like Ian fucking Curtis or something?” 
He blabbered on nearly incoherently, name-dropping various famous lead singers. “Karen O, yeah? And Alice Glass…”
“God, just give her a break already,” Claire giggled as she shoved Leon off of you.
You stifled a laugh, your meek personality returning the more you moved away from the spotlight. “Yeah, I guess? Um, thanks.”
Leon paused, looking at you in disbelief as he shook his head. “Jeez, just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Lady in streets, freak in the sheets,” he mumbled almost inaudibly as you choked on your saliva and coughed violently at his quip.
“Leon,” Chris warned, as Leon held his hands up in mock surrender. 
Turning towards you, Chris sighed wearily, “Sorry about that. You did good though.”
Before you had a chance to answer, an alluring, provocative voice interrupted. “You all did good out there.”
Spinning around, you came face-to-face with a stylishly dressed lady in a red, skintight catsuit and dark leather heeled boots. A sleek, black bob framed her face, highlighting her sharp features and high cheekbones. You noticed that she focused all her attention on Leon, even though she was addressing the group.
Leon’s eyes widened, her outfit clearly seemed to pique his interest, and you could feel Chris tense up behind you, as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. At this, Claire whispered into your ear with a hint of venom, “That’s Ada, the bassist of Midnight Sun.”
Midnight Sun. That rang a bell. They were one of the more established bands in the scene, though you’d heard rumors about how haughty they could be and that they would stop at nothing to climb their way up.
“Oh, there you are.” A man with slicked-back blonde hair and dark sunglasses sauntered over coolly. If someone had told you that he was an extra from The Matrix, you would’ve believed them in a heartbeat. 
The look of disdain was prominent on his face as he glanced over at you and your bandmates. He clucked his tongue derisively. “Tell me, what is it like being the warm up crew?”
Leon was about to lash out, but Chris’ reflexes were faster, holding his shoulder in a vice-like grip. Leon huffed, as he shrugged Chris’ hand off, conceding to remaining cordial for now.
“Wesker, you’re on next!” A stagehand called out from afar.
The man tipped his head in response, before wrapping an arm around Ada’s shoulders, pulling her away from your group as he smirked. “Watch and learn, amateurs.”
“Bunch of douchebags,” Claire muttered as all of you made your way towards the dressing room to freshen up. 
From the corner of your eye, you spotted Leon peering over his shoulder another time at the lady in red.
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“Seriously? That’s what was written?” You groaned, chucking Leon’s phone to the side as both of you lay sprawled out on a picnic mat across a grassy hill which connected to a park. A couple of liquor and beer bottles littered your side. Clearly, this was more of a boozy brunch than an actual brunch at all. You should’ve known better than to trust Leon to prepare something substantial. However, whenever he was around you, it seemed like he would make an effort to control his drinking habits, at least to a point where he was only tipsy but not wasted each time.
Since the last gig, the band had received many other offers to play at various venues and Chris had been eager to accept them all, in the hopes of attracting a talent scout who would spot and sign you to a major label. You’d gone on stage a few more times, with each round bringing you new fans and followers, as well as getting hounded by music journalists. Claire seemed to have a word for everything and this was no exception. She described them as rats, and in particular, a man named Luis Sera proved to be the biggest one of them all.
You remembered his irritating voice which had a slight lilt to it, as he called out for you after one of your shows in the previous month. “Señorita… hey!”
He definitely had a flair for making a spectacle out of everything that he did, and soon you’d discover that he was also a master of exaggeration. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, mi amor.” He bowed his head dramatically, as he took your hand, bringing your knuckles to meet his lips.
In the end, your band had given him half an hour of your time, only for him to grossly alter whatever answers all of you had provided during the interview when the article was published. He had pitted the Stars Rebellion against Midnight Sun, when in your opinion, both bands sounded nothing like each other and he was just doing it to stir up sensationalist shit. In addition to that, he spent most of the article writing about your looks and sex appeal, as opposed to the actual music.
To be fair, that was part of your showmanship, but it seemed like yet another case of sexism in the industry, where other male vocalists weren’t subject to the same fate as you and the handful of frontwomen, who still cut their teeth and pushed forward.
“Great,” you whined, burying your face in your hands. “Now, not only have we become an even bigger rival of Midnight Sun, he’s got people wondering if I can actually sing at all!”
Leon seemed amused by your mini outburst, but was otherwise unruffled by the comments in the article. “That’s what journalists do.” He shrugged. “Create fucking bullshit and drama. What’s new?”
He turned over to face you, taking your hand in his and squeezing it briefly before letting it go. “You’re insanely talented, you know that. Don’t listen to them.”
You smiled at his affirmation. The past months had flown by in a blur, and along with it, your bond with Leon had strengthened. You were the very definition of fast friends, having discovered many similar interests and common topics of conversation between the two of you. Although he still made the occasional off-putting remark, and was a bit of an attention-seeker, especially among the ladies, you enjoyed the time spent with him. It felt like you could be yourself and could talk to each other about anything without judgment.
Judgment. That word aroused conflicting feelings within you. On the one hand, being on stage felt freeing and you could do so many things there that would’ve been considered shameful in any other public situation. It was as though you could ignore the judgment or were immune to it. Yet, when it was time to return to the ‘normal world’, judgment haunted you wherever you went.
“Got a question though.” Leon grinned, and you knew he was coming up with another one of his pesky jokes again. “Can you sing?”
You whacked his chest as he howled with laughter. “Alright, come on, look. We’ll do it together, ok?” He whipped out his phone again, tapping on his music playlist. “I just wanna hear you sing something softer, please?”
Sighing in exasperation, you gave in to his curiosity, clearing your throat as you exposed the falsetto that you’d been hiding all this while in the city you’d run off to for college. Leon joined you on the backing vocals as you flowed through the song together, while you tried to ignore his gaze which lowered at your lips, seemingly entranced by what he was listening to. A blush crept up along your neck as the song ended.
“Didn’t realize you had that side to you,” he muttered in astonishment. “Where did you-”
“Church choir,” you uttered abruptly, hoping he wouldn’t press further.
“Oh.” That seemed to surprise him even more. “Didn’t take you as the religious kind.”
“I’m not.” You swallowed thickly, looking away.
“Your parents-”
“Don’t know, don’t care,” you hissed through gritted teeth, a little harsher than intended.
“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to-” He cut himself off, before sharing about his background instead. “My parents were kind of shitheads too. Well, mostly my old man.” There was another pause, as he shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Liked the bottle a bit too much.”
“I’m sorry.” You placed your hand over his, as he brushed his thumb over your knuckles.
“Don’t be. The band’s our family now.” He shifted himself up to his elbows, kicking mud off his boots. “Anyway, we don’t have to talk about your folks if you want.”
You softened up at this, realizing that he still had your best interests at heart, though a part of you felt like divulging what you had kept to yourself for so long. “It’s embarrassing,” you began. “Singing like that, kinda reminds me of the past I wanted to leave behind.”
Twiddling your fingers anxiously, you continued. “My parents were very into that whole religious thing. You could say it was almost cult-like,” you laughed nervously. “It wasn’t what I wanted to be, so I got out of it.”
Frowning, you pursed your lips as a vague memory of leaving your hometown amid a heated argument and tears came to mind. “Haven’t spoken to them in years. Probably disowned by them by now.”
“Their loss,” he replied sharply, staring you dead in the eye.
It wasn’t something you had expected to slip out of Leon’s mouth, but he had articulated it so transparently. You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion.
“You could’ve been a great televangelist,” he joked, and you chuckled along with him, finding humor in the otherwise unpleasant subject.
“It’s too bad, isn’t it?” You took a swig of the vodka bottle he offered you, wincing as the smooth liquid burned its way down your throat. “You know, when I’m up there performing, it feels like I can be whoever I want to be.”
“You can be whoever you want with me,” he spoke softly. You tried to search for any disingenuity in his eyes, but found none. “I like you all the same.”
“I like you too,” you professed, only to contort your face in horror a split second later, as you realized the implications of what you had just said. “Uh, I mean, not like that,” you sputtered helplessly. “You know, like-”
He rolled his eyes and snickered. “C’mere.” Tugging at your hand, he pulled you in close, giving you a solid hug. 
Gingerly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, inhaling deeply and relaxing in his embrace. Both of you carried a mild scent of alcohol, but you didn’t care. You were just happy to find a like-minded soul who saw you for who you were, as you did with him.
A random thought popped up in your head that you wanted to run by him that instant. It gnawed at your chest, waiting to escape. “Leon?”
“Mm?” You could feel him nuzzling your neck and wondered if he had gone past being tipsy.
“What do you think about writing a softer song? Like something more emotive,” you explained.
He still didn’t let you go. “I think that sounds great,” he murmured into your ear. “We’ll write it together.”
“Just you and me, us against the world,” he added wistfully.
You wondered what had gotten into him, but the idea of working on this creative project together felt right to you. Like a link in the thread of fate that was meant to happen.
“Us against the world,” you repeated, sealing your fate, as you felt his smile against your skin.
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On a hot, sunny afternoon, you were grabbing milkshakes with Claire, before heading over to the skatepark, where another friend of hers, Steve, was trying out a couple of new tricks. He had a slender build and spiky red hair, with a punk aesthetic. In other words, the perfect skater boy. You were pretty sure he had a crush on Claire, but she seemed to be either oblivious or ignored it outright. Whenever he landed a cool trick, he’d look over at Claire for approval, only for her to give him a friendly thumbs up. 
While you sat by the benches, Claire turned towards you, wiggling her eyebrows as she commented, “You and Leon have been hanging out a lot together lately.”
“Uh huh.” You tried to appear nonchalant about it, as you sipped on your milkshake guardedly.
Truth be told, the increasing amount of time spent with Leon was causing certain inconvenient feelings to grow within you. You lied to yourself, claiming you saw him as nothing more than a friend. Falling for a lovable asshole was out of the question, especially one who might break your heart. Yet, the day where both of you drank in the park, accepting each other in ways you never thought possible, constantly replayed in your mind. Then there was the song you were working on together, the late-night calls, and the pick-me-ups for days when either of you needed support. He would drop everything to help you, and you were there when he sought comfort.
Each time you saw him flirting with one of the female fans or exchanging coy looks with Ada, you died a little inside. He was just a horny 23-year-old guy chasing after anyone with legs - at least, that's what you tried to convince yourself. So, you stayed silent about the whole affair, holding back how you really felt about him, in order to preserve your friendship.
“Anything going on between you two?” Claire asked casually.
What else could you expect from a final-year Communications major? Of course, she would have picked up on how weird you’ve been acting lately.
Still, you continued fighting a losing battle. “We’re just friends,” you asserted, poking absentmindedly at the leftover froth and cream in your drink with the straw.
She wasn’t having it though. “The question is, do you want it to stay that way?” Checkmate. You could almost see her gloating at you as you froze.
You shook your head, sighing defeatedly. “It doesn’t matter, he’s into other girls anyway.”
“Have you told him?” Crap, she got you there again.
You just gave her a noncommittal shrug.
“Look, I’m gonna level with you.” She set her drink down with an air of determination, as if she meant business. “In all my sad years of knowing that loser, he’s never behaved this way with a girl like you. Maybe he just needs a little push to see that.” Folding her arms, she cocked her head to the side. “You should tell him.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” You sucked up the rest of your drink until there was nothing more than the bubbly, gurgling sound of air and drops of fluid. With a mischievous twist of your mouth, you added, “By the way, you should probably tell Steve you’re not interested.”
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When you had finally plucked up the courage to try and tell Leon about your true feelings, things didn’t go exactly as planned. For starters, he had been rather distracted about the upcoming music festival that your band would be participating in and specifically, a promo event that was tied to it. It was all he wanted to talk about, so you couldn’t get a word in.
“It’ll be the perfect opportunity to get noticed,” he pleaded. “You have to go!”
“I’m not- I don’t do very well in these types of social situations,” you argued. “You know that.”
“Excuses,” he huffed dismissively. “It’s gonna be fun, come on.”
“Chris and Claire will be there with you,” you countered again.
Placing his hands on your shoulders, he declared, “No, I want you.”
Although you knew he didn’t mean it any other way, your cheeks flushed as you turned your head away, heart throbbing at the innocuous statement he had just uttered.
“I’ll be there beside you, the whole time,” he promised. “Please, just come along?”
Biting your lip, you weighed your options, even though your emotions had already gotten the better of you, and you had made your decision regardless of what he might say. “You swear?”
“Cross my heart.”
Unfortunately, you wish you had never agreed to him in the first place, because 24 hours later, you were singing an entirely different tune.
Leon had picked you up and headed over to the event with you as arranged. It was held at a swanky members-only club with a lot of pomp, ass-kissing and too much champagne. You felt completely out of place there, but tagged along like a lost puppy behind Leon, who was reveling in the publicity and getting to know who’s who. A number of the other festival bands were there, but you weren’t particularly close to them beyond a courteous ‘Hello’. You fiddled with the cocktail that Leon had got you, praying that the Redfield siblings would show up sometime soon.
At some point, Leon caught your attention, every so often looking over his shoulder for something, or someone. “I, uh, I need to head to the restroom.”
You nodded in puzzlement, wondering why he seemed so shifty all of a sudden.
“Cool, um, I’ll make it quick.” He gave you a sheepish smile and a wink before heading off hurriedly.
He looked even apologetic? You shrugged off that thought, nursing the lone drink in your hands as you thumbed the fabric of your silvery playsuit. After a while, you checked the time on your phone. A good ten minutes had passed, but he hadn’t returned. Weird, did something happen to him?
As you continued waiting, it started to dawn on you how oppressive and suffocating the atmosphere was. It reminded you of the times when you were surrounded by the rest of the community you’d grown up with in church, scrutinizing your every move. Cold sweat formed on your palms as your breathing grew rapid and shallow. A sense of dread developed within you as your vision narrowed.
Oh god, oh god, not here, no… You latched onto the wall for support, trying to apply the tactics you usually used to calm yourself down.
“Hey there!” Claire’s upbeat voice pierced through the downward spiral you had nearly been consumed by. “Where’s Leon?”
“Um, he went to the rest-”
“What the fuck.” Claire’s jaw dropped wide open and when you followed her line of sight, you understood why.
From afar, you spotted Leon and Ada in tow, sneakily heading out of the restrooms. Bold red lipstick was smudged across Leon’s face as he wiped away at it furiously, and his pants remained unzipped, like an afterthought. Ada combed through her ruffled hair with her fingers, adjusting the bottom of her figure-hugging dress. There were no guesses as to what had occurred there. Your mouth ran dry.
“That fucking-” Claire growled. “Ugh, I’m gonna wring his neck!”
“Claire, it’s okay.” You tried to placate her, but your voice was quivering.
She turned towards you, eyeing you sympathetically as she rubbed your back. “I’m sorry,” she offered. “Well, Chris is getting some drinks. Let’s go join him?”
You accepted, making your way towards the refreshments table, still mulling over what you had just seen. As you picked up a glass of sparkling wine, Claire relayed the entire scenario over to Chris, who just shook his head disapprovingly.
A few moments later, Leon had stumbled upon your group. “Where’ve you been? I was looking all over for you!” He barked, visibly frustrated at your disappearance.
Claire scoffed, and without another word, bumped against his shoulder as she brushed past him. Chris followed suit, without the bumping, though he made a face at Leon as he chugged down his beer. They expected you to come along, but you hung back, giving Leon one more chance to redeem himself.
“What’s up with those two?” he muttered in annoyance.
You held his gaze impassively. “What took you so long?”
“Is this a trick question or what?” He couldn’t look you in the eyes as he tried to evade your quizzing.
But you didn’t let up, not budging from your place until you had an answer.
He threw his hands up in exasperation. “There was a queue, okay?”
A rush of disappointment and heartache surged through you. The least he could’ve done was to be honest with you, but he hadn’t even managed that. He was lying directly to your face, which currently felt as if it had been given a tight slap in humiliation. With whatever dignity you had left, you excused yourself from the table, heading over to the Redfield siblings, as Leon looked on in incredulity and disbelief.
You spent the rest of the evening with Chris and Claire, who were mostly interested in the free food and drink, and knew a couple of the chiller, more down-to-earth musicians on a personal level. In an unexpected turnaround of events, you were actually having fun chatting with people who appeared to be on the same wavelength as you and making wisecracks about corporate functions like these.
In fact, it served as a fairly effective distraction from the boy you were pretending didn’t exist. He lurked around like a shadow, leaning against the walls in the corridors and the sides of the rooms. You saw him everywhere, hovering just within reach. Scowling moodily at you and your newfound friends, he tossed back a never ending supply of alcoholic drinks. You suspected he was on the verge of getting sloshed by now, and although a part of you was concerned about his well-being, you didn’t want to play the role of a babysitter, at least not for tonight.
Towards the end of the night, Chris and Claire had decided to take their leave and you would too, after getting some fresh air by the pool. However, this proved to be a mistake, as the minute you were left alone, you heard heavy footsteps shuffling up next to you. You felt a pit in your stomach, knowing well who it was before even facing the culprit.
“What did I do wrong?” Leon was slurring his words, and his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. The stench of alcohol on him was overwhelming.
Wrinkling your nose, you backed away, stating plainly, “You’re drunk, just take a cab home.”
“Don’t-” He grabbed your arm, attempting to steady himself. “Don’t walk away from me.”
“Leon,” you warned.
“What happened to us against the world, huh?” he retorted.
“Did you think about that when you ditched me to fuck around?” The accusation tumbled out of your mouth before you had a chance to rein it in.
His grip on you loosened, as guilt flashed across his eyes. “That- I, it wasn’t-”
“You’ve always been a bit of an asshole,” you interjected. “But a loveable one, who was also sweet and kind.” Tears started to collect at the corners of your eyes. “Now, you’re just completely horrible,” you spat, with a look of disgust plastered across your face.
Leon’s face contorted in anguish as he tightened his hold on your arm again. “Don’t say that.”
“I don’t like you like this,” you admitted, trying to break free from his grasp, as tears started to roll down your cheeks.
He tried to reach out with his other hand and caress your face, but you pushed it away. “Let go,” you demanded.
However, it seemed as if he couldn’t comprehend why you wanted to be as far away from him as possible. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “Can’t we just sort this-”
Then, something in you snapped. All the times when you had finally had enough and set your boundaries in the past, burning bridges along the way, came to a head. “No!” you yelled, shoving him off you, as he fell backwards and landed into the pool with a loud splash.
Some of the spectators laughed and jeered, as he floundered around mostly in shock, while you stormed off the site.
━━━━━━━━━━━
The next band practice session was awkward to say the least. You were running a few minutes late and when you’d reached, you could hear the shouting from outside the door to the studio.
“... sleeping with the enemy!”
“How is Ada an enemy?”
“You’re always messing things up for us!”
“Okay, break it up you two.”
Expelling a hefty sigh, you swung the door open, and the room fell so silent you could hear a pin drop. You could feel their gaze on you as you placed your bag in the corner before getting to your usual position behind the mic, making sure to avoid any eye contact with Leon. The festival was coming up in the next month, and on top of that, you still had a smaller gig to play in between then. The last thing you wanted was for personal issues to get in the way of professionalism, so you buried your emotions deep within the abyss.
“Hey, um, you, uh-” Leon croaked out, trying to get your attention, but you ignored him, turning instead towards Claire.
“Sorry I’m late, shall we get started?”
Despite regarding you with a look of concern, she obliged and Chris counted off before all of you jammed to the opening song.
It continued on like this, where you gave Leon the cold shoulder. You had stopped hanging out with him and only communicated when necessary. He didn’t realize how much he would miss your company until it was gone. Things felt duller and emptier without you. Whenever he wanted to share his joys, sorrows and just the mundane things that were happening in his life, he’d try to call you, only for it to go unanswered. He left you countless voice messages, each more desperate than the last one, ranging from a mixture of hurt, blame and grief. It had only been a little over two weeks, but he was starved and alone, without the person he could truly count on. The song you had been working on together remained unfinished.
During the smaller gig you were playing at, you rocked out with Chris and Claire near the back, instead of vibing with Leon at the front. Maybe you were being petty with the way you were treating Leon, but he hadn’t given you a proper apology since the incident. The chemistry and connection between the two of you on stage was lost. Nonetheless, you gave the performance your all, and the fans went wild, so much so that when you crowd surfed, you ended up with shredded leggings and a bloody mouth. A random fan tried to grope you, but security intervened and you were dragged back up on stage by Leon, whose eyes were clouded with worry and apprehension. However, the adrenaline numbed the pain and you finished the gig on a high note, leaving the crowd buzzing with exhilaration and the sound of thunderous applause. It was a confidence booster and a great way to warm up for the festival gig.
Backstage, Claire helped you with cleaning the cut on your lip, as you reassured her that you were fine and such injuries were inevitable when you threw yourself headfirst into the crowd. She made you promise not to pull that stunt again, at least for the foreseeable future, before leaving you to finish up.
Just as you were heading out to regroup, an older, bearded man with neatly styled, graying hair and donning a snazzy waistcoat approached you.
“Brian Irons.” 
He held out a sleek, matte finish card with a crisp white background, his name in bold, black font in the center. Below, in smaller, elegant sans-serif type, were the record label he managed and his contact details. A thin, silver border surrounded the edges of the card adding a touch of sophistication. You took it from him, rapt by the design.
“Shall we speak somewhere in private?” he offered, beckoning towards one of the empty dressing rooms towards the end of the hallway.
In your elation and unwillingness to turn down such a timely opportunity, you jumped the gun, accepting his request immediately without waiting for your bandmates. Instead, you messaged them the details and informed them you would join them soon after.
“Amazing show,” he complimented. “You really are quite stunning.”
“Thanks, um, Mr. Irons.” You shifted your weight between both feet nervously, unsure of how to respond. Something in the way he looked at you made you seem like a prey caught in a bear’s trap and his words felt loaded.
“For you, it’s Brian, honey.” His lecherous tone sent shivers down your spine.
“Brian,” you echoed, slowly backing away to put some distance between you and the man.
“So, you kids wanna get signed, huh? Stars Rebellion, wasn’t it?” He advanced towards you with deliberate, measured steps, as if he were playing with his food at the dinner table.
“Y-yeah,” you stammered, regretting the decision you had made earlier and the direction this conversation seemed to be steering in.
“Well, I can certainly help with that…” 
Your back was flat against the wall now, as he sidled up to you, eliminating any space between you as he caged you in with his body. His breath felt hot and heavy against your cheek, and reeked of coffee and cigarettes. As his hand rode up your thigh, you closed your eyes, holding your breath as a nauseating wave crashed over you and you tried not to puke.
“The fuck’s going on here?” A sharp, biting voice sliced through the air like a knife.
Brian pulled away and you saw Leon by the doorway of the dressing room seething with fury and a dangerous glint in his eye.
“Hey, easy there, kid. Just getting acquainted, that’s all.” Brian tried to laugh it off as a joke, but Leon wasn’t having any of it.
“Get away from her,” he ordered, his steely demeanor unrelenting. “Now.”
Brian backed off, but came up to Leon threateningly. “Talking back to me like that?” he sneered. “I’ll make sure you’re ruined, punk.”
Leon took a step closer, issuing an unspoken challenge. “Yeah? Go ahead, sue me.”
At this, Brian cocked his fist back before taking a swing at Leon. Leon ducked to avoid the blow, shoving him aside as he unleashed a quick jab which connected with Brian’s nose. Brian fell to the ground, whimpering in pain while covering his face with both hands. Blood trickled down, staining his shirt as he cowered before Leon.
“Touch her again and I swear to god I’ll kill you,” Leon hollered. “You hear me?”
Brian nodded furiously as Leon walked briskly across the room, wrapping his arm around your shoulder before leading you out with him. Once you were at a safe distance, he cupped your face in his palms, examining you for any further signs of injuries.
“You okay? Did he hurt you?”
You didn’t respond, instead you clung to him in a tight embrace as your body trembled uncontrollably. He held you against his chest, resting his chin on your head as he stroked your hair soothingly. Both of you stayed there for a while, locked in each other's arms, until he suggested, “Let’s get you home.”
━━━━━━━━━━━
When Leon had informed Chris and Claire about the events that had transpired, they vowed to keep a closer watch on you and each other. There was now an agreement that if the whole band could not be present at a meeting, then at least two people at the minimum should be there.
Your band had upped the intensity of the practice sessions, as the date of the festival loomed nearer. However, when Jill spontaneously announced that she was organizing a house party at her place, all of you jumped at the invitation, seeing it as a way to let off some steam.
At the moment, you and Leon were in this weird, intermediary state of being not quite friends, yet not quite on opposing ends either. It seemed as if it was eating away at him inside, since the minute he saw you at Jill’s place, he weaved through the throng of familiar faces and approached you, asking if you were ready to talk about the elephant in the room. It wasn’t possible to keep ignoring him forever and you were tired of all the arguments and drama that had occurred lately. So, you decided to let him into your life again, or maybe just a foot in the door for now.
In one of the quieter rooms of the house, you sat beside Leon as he initiated an apology for the first time for his prior actions. “I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry, I really am.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “I was a complete dick-”
“Yeah, you were,” you replied testily. “I panicked, when you, um, took your time.”
“What? Shit.” He looked down at his hands in shame, balling them into fists. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t want that to happen to you.” 
Clenching his jaw, you saw him drown in a sense of self-loathing. “God, I keep fucking things up. Please-” He took your hands in his, squeezing them as if he were proposing. “I’ll make it up to you, just give me another chance to prove it.”
“I missed you,” he whispered. “A lot.” It was as if a dam had broken, and he couldn't stop himself from pouring out all his admissions. “You weren’t talking to me, you weren’t returning my calls…”
“Whenever something stupid came up, all I could think about was how much I wanted to tell you about it.” His eyes glazed over, as if he were recalling a distant memory. “Guess I kinda took you for granted.”
Pressing your lips into a thin line, you made yet another decision against your better judgment. Although you had no guarantee that he would not repeat the same mistake, you placed your trust in him again, hoping that this time he would treat you as you deserved. 
“Okay.” You nodded, offering a weak smile. “We’ll try again.”
You yelped as he suddenly gathered you into a snug embrace, grinning widely from ear to ear. “I got you back,” he murmured into your ear.
“Don’t make me regret it,” you teased half-jokingly.
“Guys, get your free shit! Oh-” 
You and Leon quickly disentangled yourselves from each other as you saw Jill staring with her mouth hanging open. “Did I interrupt something?”
“No!” Both of you exclaimed in unison.
Jill rolled her eyes, her face etched with doubt, though she didn’t probe further. “Anyway, downstairs! First come, first served.” She jerked her thumb in the direction behind her, before trudging off to the next room.
“You wanna?” Leon gave you a knowing smile.
“Hell, sure, why not?” You shrugged, once again erupting in laughter with the boy you wanted to cuddle with and strangle at the same time.
So, that was how both of you ended up lying next to each other, strung out on a mattress facing the window. You knew the drill. Jill’s housemates were creative types whose generosity knew no bounds. House parties with them involved usually meant a certain supply of free drugs, which people could choose to engage in recreationally. You figured you were being very rock’n’roll by doing it, but sometimes you enjoyed how open they made you feel, like you could loosen up and forget about the things bothering you.
As usual, you and Leon had taken the same pills as before, both of you agreeing to take care of each other throughout the duration of the high. He held your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, as you giggled over a topic you had been discussing.
“Ready to watch the curtain breathing contest?” he chuckled.
“There.” You pointed in front of you, indicating that the shades were now moving on their own, like ripples in the tide.
“Atta girl.”
It felt nice like this, laying beside him. You could talk to him about anything in the world and he’d listen intently to you. That’s when you thought it was a good idea to make your confession. 
“I’ve liked you for a while now,” you gulped, your heart constricting though the urge to reveal your secret was stronger. “As in, more than a friend.”
He angled his head towards you, gazing at your expression with an affectionate smile. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Leon Scott Kennedy, asking me why-?” you snorted, clamping your free hand over your mouth as you struggled to hold in your cackles. As if he wasn’t aware he had a reputation for sleeping around with no strings attached. “I didn’t want to be just another notch on your bedpost.”
He tutted and sighed. “You wouldn’t have been. It’s different… with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re one of the few people who’d tell me exactly as it is, you care to listen,” he explained. “It just feels right, being with you, and… I trust you.”
You were reluctant to take what he had said at face value, after all both of you were tripping. As if sensing your hesitance, he professed, “I like you too, a lot.”
Still, a part of you denied it. “You’re just saying that.”
He groaned in vexation. “Am not.”
“Are too.”
Narrowing his eyes at you, he huffed in defeat, “Look, ask me again tomorrow when we’re sober, okay? Pretty sure I’ll say the exact same thing.”
“Fine,” you conceded. “You better not try anything right now though, ’cause I bite.” Baring your teeth, you snarled at him playfully.
“Uh huh.” He burst out laughing. “You’re kinda high off your face, aren’t you?”
“Just a little.” You winked.
“Alright, let’s try to get some sleep,” he grunted, shifting to his side as he extended his arms towards you like an invitation. “No funny business,” he promised.
You relented, nestling yourself into his arms with your back against his chest. He dipped his nose into your hair, breathing in the peace of the moment. Closing your eyes, you drifted off to sleep, your bodies spooned together in perfect symmetry.
━━━━━━━━━━━
The first rays of the morning light filtered in through the curtains, as you awoke to the collective chirps of the dawn chorus. You squinted, pressing a palm over your eyes to shield yourself from the sun, as you stretched yourself out against Leon’s sleeping body and yawned groggily. He stirred a bit from your movement, but easily fell back into slumber, snoring deeply. You remembered everything you had disclosed to him the night before and it scared you. What if he didn’t feel the same way when he woke up? What if it had all been a mistake? How would you be able to look him in the eye now? You felt anxiety rising in your chest.
Stealthily, you lifted his arm off you, creeping out of the bed and making your escape before you had to face the consequences of your actions. Grabbing your stuff, you snuck out of the room, tiptoeing so no one noticed you exiting the front door of the house.
It was about an hour later when Leon woke up, confused to find you missing from the mattress with him. Though in your rush, you had accidentally left behind your notebook, which you carried around with you everywhere to jot down inspiration for song lyrics. Picking up the chestnut brown, leatherbound journal, curiosity got the better of him as he flipped it open to the page you had bookmarked.
As he skimmed across the words you had scribbled down in your off-beat, cursive handwriting, he gradually realized that they were the draft lyrics to the song you had been previously working on together with him, before the temporary break in your friendship. He re-read the text again to catch the meaning between the lines. It was then that it struck him, you had essentially composed a love letter from within, expressing the depth of your feelings and yearning for him. It made his heart ache that you had been keeping this from him the whole time and he had been blind to it all.
Tapping your name on his mobile screen, he called you right away, but it went straight to voicemail. Fuck. What were you afraid of? He thought he had been clear in how he felt about you last night, but it seemed like you had gone into hiding again. 
Showing up at your place directly after this may cause you to retreat even further, but he was determined to win you over somehow. A plan began to hatch in his mind, as he drove home with your book in the passenger seat. Despite his exhaustion from the party, he set out to work on the music for the lyrics you had written, spending the rest of the day and even pulling an all-nighter to finish it.
After about a dozen energy drinks and cups of coffee, he marched up unannounced to the door of your dormitory, where you shared a room with another final-year student from your class, rapping on it several times for good measure. Your roommate opened the door, but her expression gave everything away before she had the chance to concoct any sort of tall tale. She could never really keep a poker face.
Placing his arm against the door to prevent it from closing on him, he called out your name. You appeared in his view then timidly, mumbling to your roommate that you would handle it. She packed up a few things and left, giving you and Leon some privacy.
“Your book.” He passed it over to you, before setting his guitar case down by your bed. “Open it.”
You glanced briefly at him in mild bewilderment, but did as he asked. It flopped open to a page with a deep crease in the center, naturally showing how frequently that section had been revisited. You gasped when you saw a bunch of chord notes written below the lyrics you had penned down from earlier. Your complexion turned a light shade of scarlet upon realizing that Leon had discovered your innermost thoughts, but there was no awkwardness in his behavior towards you, he was calm and collected.
Unzipping the case, he took out his acoustic guitar and perched himself on the edge of your bed. Resting the instrument on his thigh, he grasped its neck, tilting it slightly as he strummed a couple of opening chords.
“I pieced together the melody for this. Maybe you can join in when you’re comfortable,” he suggested.
It seemed he had memorized the entire song by heart, as he didn’t need your notebook for guidance. His mellow, honeyed voice cascaded through the room as he serenaded you with the song both of you had crafted, albeit separately. Now, you were coming together to bring it to life.
Seating yourself next to him, you harmonized with his vocals, pouring the entirety of your emotions and every moment of longing you had built up within you into the music, until the final note trailed off. Throughout it all, Leon had observed you closely, captivated by the raw, unfiltered quality of your voice and the vulnerability you displayed in your delivery of the lyrics.
His gaze lowered from your eyes to your mouth, as he leaned in, brushing his lips gently against yours, kissing you tenderly. Bringing his hand to your cheek, he caressed it, coaxing soft sighs and moans which he returned as you reciprocated the kiss. Panting as he came up for air, he traced your bottom lip with his thumb, feeling every dip and groove, as if mesmerized by its outline and shape. He didn’t need to utter a single word for you to understand that his feelings for you mirrored those you had confessed in the song.
Closing the distance, he pressed into your lips again, this time more fervently, as the kisses grew in intensity. His nose nudged against yours and you felt his warm breath tickling your skin, as he grasped the back of your neck, taking you deeper, breathing every essence of you in. Clutching his shoulders, you parted your lips slightly as he licked along the entrance, allowing his tongue to meet yours, twirling around it as saliva coated your lips, forming a glistening string between the two of you when you pulled away.
Grazing his knuckles delicately across your cheek, he asked, “Do you believe me now?”
You smiled, claiming his lips with your own in response.
━━━━━━━━━━━
The next time you performed the song live was at the festival, where thousands had gathered to watch the impressive lineup of bands. Chris and Claire had fallen in love with it when you and Leon had showed it to them, and were keen to expand the band’s range into something that delved into the territory of rock ballads.
All four of you wondered how it would be received by the audience, as it was rather different from the punk rock style your band was known for. Even so, you were psyched to finally showcase it to the public.
It was the song you ended with on your setlist, and the one which created such a poignant, special atmosphere, that it became a memory you would treasure forever. The hall fell into hushed anticipation as Leon plucked his guitar strings under the soft glow of the stage lights. Each note resonated deeply, minimalistic and stripped back, which added to the earnesty of the music.
Your voice opened the duet, intimate and haunting, as the melody unfolded like a story being told, rich with longing and a melancholic beauty that ached. The audience stood there entranced, as a soulful rhythm built up with the entry of the bass guitar and drums, adding another layer to the sound.
Leon moved towards you, sharing your mic as he sang his part, cementing a bond between you. Locking eyes with you, he pressed his forehead against yours, mingling sweat and tears as you both continued singing into the same mic, your heartfelt lyrics heavy with emotion. Some of the older people in the crowd sparked their lighters, while the younger ones whipped out their mobile phones, swaying them in time to the music, until everything was awash in a sea of flickering lights.
Your lips and Leon’s were barely touching as the last notes lingered in the air. His faint breath fanned across your mouth, as he swept his fingertips along your jawline, resting them under your chin. The space was thick with palpable tension, and your stomach fluttered just as it had the first time he had kissed you. Like a magnetic pull which he could not resist, he placed his lips over yours, kissing you again and again. It was as if the world had paused, just for the two of you. 
Singing this way no longer reminded you of punishment and shame, but rather of the connection you and Leon had. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he led you off-stage, past the phenomenal reaction of the crowd and the fist bumps shared between Chris and Claire.
Ada came around not only to congratulate him, but also to test the waters and seize the opportunity to flirt. Despite that, he held onto you tightly, maintaining a suitable distance from the woman he had previously been infatuated with, yet feeling nothing deeper compared to what he felt for you. It took him more than half a year, an explosive fallout and a few weeks of your absence to realize that. She smirked and shook her head, walking away as Wesker continued to ignore you.
Some things never change, yet some things had.
“How about some time alone?” he proposed. “Just us.”
Us. It was always meant to be about us.
You nuzzled your nose gently with his. “Yeah, just us.”
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if-you-fan-a-fire · 3 years
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“Printer Arrested On Defence Charge,” Toronto Star. January 17, 1941. Page 2. ------ Alleged ‘Witness’ Accused of Having Illegal Literature at Plant ----- Ernest E. Spalding, proprietor of the Spalding Printing Co., Simcoe St., was arrested today by R.C.M.P., city and provincial police, and charged under four sections of the Defence of Canada regulations. He is charged with being a member of an illegal organization, Jehova’s Witnesses.
Seizure of literature at Spalding plant was reported by police. Search for the source of multi-graphed sheets distributed in the city has been under way for several weeks, police said.
Spalding gave his address as Symon St., Mimico. Magistrate Browne set bail at $5,000 and remanded him, without plea or election, till Jan. 24. He is accused of having literature liable to prejudice recruiting, likely to cause disaffection to his majesty, and likely to prejudice the safety of the state. The fourth charge is that he is a member of an illegal organization.
Police said Spalding’s plant is in a building where he occupies a whole floor.
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nerdykeppie · 8 months
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Launching Tuesday - Historically Queer, our next enamel pin collection!
We Have Always Been Here.
Ten pins - two pairs, five single pins, and the La Maupin mega pin (she needed extra room for her headdress) - each with multiple unlockable colorways.
We launch Tuesday, 9/12, at 3PM Eastern, noon Pacific. Follow us on Kickstarter to be notified when we launch -- or just to help out! The visibility to Kickstarter from having followers on our campaign helps a lot. :D
Featured in this campaign:
Enheduanna, oldest named author. Incorporating trans themes into writing thousands of years old.
David & Jonathan, king & prince whose love surpassed the love of women.
Sappho, Lesbian poet. She should need no other introduction.
La Maupin, also known as Julie d'Aubigny. The original disaster bisexual. Opera singer, swordswoman. May have burned down a convent.
Publick Universal Friend, American religious figure. Going by gender-neutral pronouns since the year the Declaration of Independence was written.
Anne Lister & Ann Walker, the Gentleman Jack & her wife. Acknowledged as the first same-gender marriage in modern Britain.
Dr. James Barry, British surgeon. A transgender man, Dr. Barry performed the first C-section done by a European in Africa in which both mother & child survived. He is also credited with vastly improving conditions for wounded soldiers in the British military.
Nikola Tesla, Serbian-American genius. Listing Tesla's inventions would take a series of posts. Liked pigeons better than people.
If you don't see your favorite historical figure, don't fret! We've planned multiple sets of Historically Queer figures. We can't use them all up at once. :) Help ensure we can make future sets by helping us create this one!
Frequently Asked Questions under the cut.
Hey, what flag is that on Sappho?
That's the Sapphic flag, created by @tepkunset. NerdyKeppie's owner, Spider, is a butch lesbian who uses that flag for their art.
Hey - what about [historical figure]? How could you forget [historical figure]? This is erasure!
We didn't forget, we promise - this is the first of several installments of this project. After the absolute stress of the last Kickstarter when we had 300+ different SKUs by the end of the project, we decided to take a more focused approach to Historically Queer. We attempted to provide a good cross-section of identities, and will continue to expand in future projects. Spider has a huge folder on his computer full of planned pins and reference images.  
But historically...
Yes, we know that it isn't totally proper to use today's terms to discuss people who lived a long time ago. But also, how else do we talk about our community history in a way that's understood, and celebrate our shared queerness, other than to use the words and iconography which are understandable to us now? We celebrate our shared history with the words and understandings most accessible to all of us, and we hope that by providing not just the pins but a few elementary facts about these historical figures, we'll encourage people to read more about them in their original context.
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thana-topsy · 9 months
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SKYRIM OC ASKS
I wanted to make a more in-depth and lore-building set of questions for people's Skyrim-specific OCs! This can be used as an ask game, or if you just want to answer them all without waiting for people to ask, have at it!
(Thanks to my good fandom buddies for all the suggestions!)
Which areas of Skyrim do they find most beautiful and most dangerous?
Which cities do they prefer to stay in and why? Which cities to they avoid at all costs?
What are their religious affiliations, and how does their worship (or lack thereof) affect their day-to-day life?
Do they believe the College of Winterhold caused the Great Collapse? If no, what is their theory?
Would they be able to live off the land if they were lost in the wilds of Skyrim? How skilled are they at foraging and hunting?
What is their opinion on Skyrim's "bandit problem"?
Do they regret journeying to Skyrim? Or, if they were born in Skyrim, do they wish they could leave?
What is their favorite kind of food that can only be found in Skyrim?
Do they believe in snow/sky whales?
Are they a part of any factions, guilds, or organizations?
If they are a magic user, what is their favorite school of magic? Do they have a natural talent for magic, or does it require diligence and study?
What are their prejudices? What groups have they come to think of as 'other'? Mages? Nords? Elves? Lollygaggers?
Do they believe the old nordic tales about the Dragonborn? If they are Dragonborn how has their experience differed?
Who is their mentor? Who do they go to most for lessons?
How do they feel about consorting with daedra? Do they collect their artifacts? Are there some they would never interact with vs. some they would consider calling upon?
What are their opinions on the civil war? Do they support a side or leave them to their own devices?
Do they have family? Who doe they consider to be family?
What is their stance on taking a life? Do they kill without a second thought, in the name of a god or daedra, or do they adhere to pacifism?
How are they with money? Do they hoard, or do they spend until their pockets are empty and they have to find work again? Have they saved for any houses?
Can they read?
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