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shadowspellchecker · 1 month

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3. 2. Jyn raised Imperial

So many ways to make it work.

Raised by Krennic. Raised by Mrs. Krennic. A hostage, an adoptee. Even child bride. Loyal Galen. Lyra alive. How about some other imperial raising Jyn?

4. 3. Cassian's first assignment results in Jyn Erso run-in

Could easily jive with above.

5. 4. Steela Lives AU

…And raises Jyn. Completely changes the character of the Partisans, and might mean that Jyn isn't ditched at 16.

6. 5. Partisan Jyn AU

In 12 After the formation of the empire, Saw Gerrera is injured. Liana Hallick, 16 years old lieutenant, becomes his apprentice and successor. She inherits it 2 years later.

#yourtaxdollarsatwork #your tax dollars at work #star wars #rogue one #shadowspellchecker #cassian andor #jyn erso #story prompts #possibilities

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ilreleonewikia13 · 3 years

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TQG FANFIC:PAWN AND KNIGHT

by @shadowspellchecker

He is thirteen when the mark suddenly changes from smokey blur to actual letters. I'd take the knight.

They are rough, and disjointed in the way of young hands. But the words are clear enough, and he knows what they are referring to. They interest him. Because they are not the words of a potential spouse, but a colleague or competitor. He has heard about such matches before. He is relieved because it promises a lifetime of competition and going for the top. It means not settling down, not settling for the ordinary, of excitement. It means more chess. But Benny is thirteen, and a chess prodigy, and he has games to play. He spares a thought to this upstart kid who he cannot wait to crush, and moves on.

She is five, and is learning her letters. She sees the similarity between the scribbles on her arm and the characters in her books. She asks her mother what they mean. 'That just means there is someone out there who will try to control you', Alice dismisses. But Beth is five, and has been isolated her whole life. She does not understand.

#ilreleonewikia #meme #tqg meme #tqg #tqg fanfic #shadowspellchecker #pawn and knight #soulmate au #beth x benny #beth harmon #beth's pov #benny watts #benny's pov #gif set #mine #ao3 fanfic #chess #historical accuracy

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marmotts · 2 years

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Get to know the blogger

Tagged by @nrgburst

Nickname: marmotts Zodiac: Scorpio, Rabbit Height: 160cm Hogwarts House: 68% Hufflepuff, 64% Slytherin, 62% Ravenclaw, 48% Gryffindor, according to the All Questions test Last thing I googled: mom holy f meme Followers: 40 How much I sleep: 3am-12pm Song stuck in my head: Things Are Hot - Mardeen Lucky number: 4 Dream job: graphic novelist Wearing: sparkly white sweater, red plaid pants, headphones Favorite song: Three-Way - The Magnetic Fields Favorite instrument: drums? Aesthetic: low maintenance Favorite author: Heather O'Neill <3 Favorite animal noise: purring Something random: I really like dragons and miniatures. Tagging: @shadowspellchecker @nymphastral @mniiv

#other

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shadowspellchecker · 23 days

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11. 10. The obligatory Ghosts AU.

Twins Luke and Leia inherit a mansion in Massassi, New York, and, along with Leia's boyfriend Han and his old squadmate Chewie, embark on the unique adventure of opening a B&B. But they have company! Joining them are Victorian era Chinese immigrants Chirrut and Baze (1850s), lost Spaniard Kay—something, Native American scout currently going by Cass, and bootlegger (or Buffalo Bill expy performer, for Saw Gerrera's Wild West show) Jyn Erso. Bodhi Rook, the unlucky first-gen immigrant satellite TV installer and aspiring pilot who died while installing a satellite dish on the roof in the 1980s, is the 'baby' of the bunch. Oh, and also Mon Mothma (wife of the man who built the house) or Shmi (who would be a bondservant from Ireland, second wife of the first white farmer on the land). In the Basement we meet the Company, headed by Cody– wwi soldiers who survived Jim Crow and the trenches of France only to die of the Spanish Flu. They find the underground comforting. (Fucking bombers! Ruined the sky for us!) In the next house over, owned by organic weed grower Maz Kanata, you have WWII corporal Draven. In the house on the other side there is fur trader/ revolutionary war spymaster Lucian (I burned my life to build a nation I knew I'd never live to see), who K and Cass used to spend a lot of time with before the stream and property lines shifted. He was completely wrong about Benedict Arnold. Mon Mothma's daughter is Mon's unfinished business, and so she gets to ascend at the end of the third season. In the condemned summer kitchen you have Rex, Gregor and Wolffe, who survived the flu and took employment in the town. At the time the heiress of the mansion was Miss Tano, who went missing during the Cold War. They assume that she had gone on one last mission and never came back. (Fact: she's stuck in an underground bunker on the estate. Alternatively she did go out on that mission, and will be summoned back during a Halloween episode.) These guys died in the incident that left the summer kitchen condemned, and are forever trying to work out what they did wrong with that new water heater. Their unfinished business is reconciling with the basement ghosts (there is some sort of bad blood, partial survivors guilt) and for Rex finding Ahsoka.

Kay, of course, died in the lightning strike and can affect electronics. Cassian was shot walking on the lake one winter while looking for his missing sister, and froze to death. Think the death of Otzi the iceman. His unfinished business will be finding her bones. His ghost power is cold spots. Jyn was part of an Indian act in Esau Gerrera's Circus of Curiosities. (Saw himself presented himself as an exotic Arabian prince or something. So people wouldn't think 'escaped slave' when he smuggled people to Canada. (Jyn wasn't exactly around for that part.) Yeah, Cass is pissed. She was left behind and went looking for some gold her father allegedly had stowed nearby. That, incidentally, is her unfinished business. Her ghost power is making people feel like they were punched. Leaves no marks, can't affect objects. People just think someone lightly punched them.

You know, it might be worth taking a look at it…

No, no Luke. It'll be like that gerbil. You see it, you get attached. It's old, it's historic, it's huge. What would we do with it? When would we have time? I say we sell it. Split the profits fifty fifty, you can get that old plane you've been saving for and I can pay off the rest of my schooling.

I thought you'd had that ironed out.

Not the point, Mr GI Bill…. Shit, sorry. I didn't mean it like that… it's covered, but it…

Gets to you. I'm sorry, I…

Sigh. No, i shouldnt havr snapped…

Han?

Yessss….

He won't find you upstate.

Nice try… but youre right. Let's take a look at the place. See what we're dealing with. But don't get attached, I'm selling my half.

We'll see.

Alright, so it's the summer of 93, and we'd just conquered the Demon's Pass.

Really? Another of your collective daydreams?

You could step up and talk for a change.

So. The invasion. Chirrut and bodhi are optimistic, Kay and Baze dread the change, Jyn is pessimistic, Cassian is past caring tbh, mon tries to rally morale.

So there is an

Indian (Cass)

Arrow Guy (Cass)

Temporally unusual European (Kay)

Relatively modern dude

Repressed Victorian (Mon)

Officer (Luthen, Draven)

Kick-ass performer lady (Jyn)

Token repressed guys (Baze and Chirrut)

Troop leader (Bodhi)

Spiritualist practitioner (Chirrut)

Food smell aficionado (Sass→ Cass)

Superchill individual (Flower →Chirrut )

Dubiously ethical group member (Alberta, Flower → Jyn)

Alternative setups include Jyn as the new newcomer, and Cass as the misplaced Spaniard (1500, see Lavrador (1498), Cabot (1497), Leon (1513), de Soto (1540), etc.) while Kay is a downright ancient ghost whose isolation has caused him to lose most of his connection to humanity and a severe case of the personality flattening we notice when ghosts aren't in contact with the living doing living stuff. Cass "saves" him by pulling him out of that state. In that scenario, Maarva and Clem might have been around at the time. Alternatively, they could have come later as an immigrant and an escaped slave and have given the duo lessons in English. Either way, they're long since sacked off.

Deaths:

Shot by arrow

Struck by lightning

Murdered

Illness

Drugs and heart attack

Violent accidental death

Unknown but didn't leave marks

Unknown but didn't leave marks and was probably the drug of choice for that time period

Circumstances

Volunteering

Lost in a foreign land

After a performance in the house

In a normal consequence of living in one's time period

While partying too hard/ carelessness

While on drugs

While depressed

Multiple choice

After

A fight with a loved one

Being abandoned by comrades

Being unknowingly betrayed

Accidentally killing someone you liked

Doing a good deed

Betraying your allies

Being rejected

Finally tasting freedom

And before

Being mourned by your family

Still being alone… despite that a family member was looking for you.

Your murderer gets away with the crime

Being mourned by your secret keeper but otherwise forgotten about

Your associates hide your body and never tell your family where it is

Your accomplice turns the reason for your betrayal into something decent

Being celebrated by your brand new lonely haunting partner

Your children continue to disappoint you

Marks of ghostly stuff

You still have the arrow that killed you stuck in your body

You lost your hat. This matters.

You are stuck in costume

You are forever stuck in full uniform

You are lacking a vital article of clothing

You have the damage that killed you on your body

Multiple choice

But hey! Guess what? You…

Have a positive and upbeat personality

can make electronics short out

Can create auditory stimuli

You can make people feel a specific adverse sensation related to your death by walking through them

You can touch physical objects with your finger!

Can make people feel a specific adverse sensation related to your condition at the time of death by walking through them. But you experience it too! All the time.

Are the lady of the house too

Are an amazing liar.

Baze. Something to do with opium, guilt.

Chirrut. Knew Baze in life. Scholar visiting Yale. Blinded by a fever and walked in the wrong direction at the wrong time. Was in a fight with Baze and stormed off. Drowned.

#yourtaxdollarsatwork #shadowspellchecker #rogue one #cbs ghosts #fanfic prompt

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shadowspellchecker · 30 days

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<h1>8. 7. Timer AU</h1>

<h1>9. 8. Star Wars meets the Roman Empire </h1>

For Rogue One, it is well-suited to a pretty direct one to one translation of circumstances.

Galactic empire = Roman Empire

Coruscant / Imperial Center = Rome

Palpatine = the Emperor

Stormtroopers = Roman footsoldiers

Core worlds:

Alderaan =

Mid-Rim

Naboo =

And the alliance? Assorted resistance groups and enemies of the Roman Empire from within and without.

I'd like to use the period around the reign of Augustus. 1st century.

There wasn't really a Civil War where you have clear Republic and Separatist groups on the scale of Star Wars until late in its lifetime, but the Roman Civil War between Caesar and Ptolemy and that other guy stand in pretty well.

The setting is Roman Palestine, Jedha being Jerusalem. So… 0BBY is 70 CE.

Let us begin there.

Chirrut is a Pharisee who contracted cataracts in his youth. He is a master of oral tradition with a brilliant memory.

Baze went off and fought alongside Judas of Gamala . He left them when Chirrut became blind, and they've been on the run from both the zealots and the Romans ever since.

Chirrut, given the period, was probably literally Pals with Jesus. Or at least a pleasant verbal sparring partner.

Bodhi Rook, not a Jew, is also from the province. Perhaps one of the Greek cities, or the son of an immigrant from Syria. Seeking a better life for his family after his father's death he took work as an animal handler for the Roman Army in that province. Swift and light, he eventually became a message carrier.

Saw Gerrera and the Partisans are Zealots.

Galen Erso is a Romanized Greek; Lyra full Roman by parentage but raised alongside Saw.

Cassian is from Hispania. Specifically, Kenari and Fest are both Basque country. Need to do research on the specifics, see Cantabrian wars, but he's taken in by a couple living in the west of Spain after their death. The big economic trade of hispania is olive oil of course, and other kinds of farming, but let's assume he didn't get such a connected life. Perhaps first a mining village or something, yes they had those, or brickmaking. Something that could lead to a village being destroyed and all the adults killed. After that some sort of blacksmith thing. Then foster parent gets executed (not crucified, just hung), foster mom and him are stuck salvaging and odd jobs in their new community. FYI, he was raised speaking proto-Basque. So… yeah. Language barrier from hell as a child, which in fact led to his sister being left behind in the mountains when he was nabbed. Then he gets in trouble with the authorities, debt slavery as a kid, then later prison, hard labor again, being voluntold into the Roman Army and desertion, etc etc etc. Most of it is a one to one correspondence although Narkina IV is probably mining tar, because I figure that Greek fire would be the equivalent to the death star here.

Or perhaps orichalcum as an equivalent to kyber.

Really, the clone wars backstory is likely multigenerational. So Palpatine wouldn't be just one, no, it would be two … or three!

And Anakin Skywalker.

Born a slave, to a slave woman in Tunisia. A couple of Roman elite soldiers or augers come along and buy him. Ani is an amazing horseman, natural jockey, and an intuitive sailor. Really a genius at everything. They buy his freedom and adopt him. Qui-Gon dies, Ani joins the Roman legions. Excels. He climbs the ranks (see Miscellany) as a soldier and politician. Eventually he saves enough and gets an opportunity to find and free his mother, while accompanying a noblewoman to Egypt, only to learn she was killed and died. He goes, finds the nearest people who match the description, kills them.

The noblewoman is of course Padme Amidala of the house of Ptolemy. She is a Greek Egyptian, see? This is relevant because it allows Luke and Leia to have coloring that conceals them where we put Alderaan. But that's later.

Out in Egypt the two marry. But then Ani is called away to quell a "slave revolt" on the other side of the empire. Yah.

And things go downhill.

By the way, the Chiss? They are the Picts. Blue man group solidarity, dudes. Hehehe. Actually, I'm thinking that the Chiss would be the Han Dynasty, or perhaps even the New World.

Active rebellions between 1 and 70 CE:

Passive resistance groups

With the end of the period of civil wars (44–31 BC), Augustus undertook the conquest of the Alpine valleys (from the Aosta Valley to the Arsia river in Istria) from 16 BC to 7 BC completing the conquest of the Italian geographical region.

<a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iapydes">https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iapydes</a>

<a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquileia">https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquileia</a>

Sardinia: The last organized revolts were repressed by Marcus Caecilius Metellus in 115-111 BC and Titus Albucius in 106.[19] However the Sardinians living in the impervious mountains of the interior resisted the Roman colonization well into Imperial times.

Social War (91–87 BC): The Roman clients in Italy the Marsi, the Paeligni, the Vestini, the Marrucini, the Picentes, the Frentani, the Hirpini, the Iapyges, Pompeii, Venosa, Lucania and Samnium rebelled against Rome.

73bc Third Servile War: Some seventy gladiators, slaves of Lentulus Batiatus in Capua, made a violent escape.

Siege of Jerusalem (63 BC): Pompey conquered Jerusalem and entered the Holy of Holies of the Second Temple.

2nd Invasion of Britain: Julius Caesar's second invasion of Britain.

31 BC 2 September Battle of Actium: Forces loyal to Augustus defeated Antony and his lover Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, in a naval battle near Actium.

30 BC 1 August Final War of the Roman Republic: Antony's forces defected to Augustus. He committed suicide.

The province of Egypt was organized. Augustus took the title pharaoh.

Cantabrian Wars: Rome deployed some eighty thousand soldiers against the Cantabri in Iberia.

19 BC Cantabrian Wars: The last major combat operations ended. The Cantabri and Astures were pacified.

<h1>10. 9. Cohortes Urbanae</h1>

CU Lucius Racilius recruits deserter Andor, last known survivor of a village in the West, as informant in exchange for legal protection and clean slate (backdated paperwork). Lucius eventually is killed. His adopted son Draven takes over his position in the CU, metaphorically inheriting Andor as client. Eventually you find a plot equivalent to Rogue One. Whether Cassian and Jyn survive, eh. 50-50. I'd give them the live option myself though. There's no death star, and even though the ancient world didn't really do handrails and OSHA, they also didn't have blasters. They had slings and arrows…. Which…

Actually….

Well, they wouldn't build ludicrous towers in random tropical islands. That's something, right?

#shadowspellchecker #yourtaxdollarsatwork #rebelcaptain #star wars #rogue one #alternate universe #ancient rome #sword and sandal #fanfic prompt #notes

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shadowspellchecker · 1 month

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<h1>7. 6. North and South AU</h1>

4/22/24

How does a Spaniard become a mill master in Milton of all places?

He's not even a Spaniard.

Galen the polymath preacher, disaffected. Bodhi the orphaned godson, "kindly taken in" by the Ersos after his parents' deaths and "raised well; a sprightly Persian lad, he became a sailor in the Navy before…" the mutiny that led to his living under an assumed name in Spain.

Cassian was on a ship bound for a penal colony when he was taken in by the Andors.

Clem was killed by police; this taught Cassian to keep his head down about his identity. He claims Spain rather than Mexico to boost his status and deflect suspicion.

Australia = Ferrix?

Fest = Spain

Mexico = Kenari

Chirrut is a missionary, Baze takes in the orphans and is the union man in this scenario.

Saw is the owner of the mill and godfather in most scenarios; otherwise he's the union leader and someone else, maybe Krennic, is godfather and Draven is mill owner.

Raddus is also a manufacturer. He's willing to take a risk on faith to steer his mill through bad times.

Actually, the manufacturers are: Raddus, Tarkin, Piett, Andor, Akbar.

Another idea is you could conflate Higgins and Thornton somehow.

#shadowspellchecker #your tax dollars at work #yourtaxdollarsatwork #rogue one #rebelcaptain #north and south #elizabeth gaskell #meets star wars #obviously needs work

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shadowspellchecker · 2 years

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"Royal Family" of Suna, or Uzumaki Clan Really Gets Around

Option 1:

Option 2:

This is a bit of a leap, but it makes sense. Suna isn't exactly famous for magnet release. But the Rasa's family apparently is. So, one lineage makes sense given the size of the village. The Third had it, and so does Rasa, but they don't share much of a resemblance. However, Rasa does to Reto. Somehow they need to be connected on one lineage. There's other options within this. Given the difference in coloration, the Third might be Reto's wife's nephew, with both the wife and the Third bearing the magnet release from a common ancestor. Rasa's mother might also have borne the Magnet release, so Reto's wife may not be the carrier. In such a situation, the Third might be Rasa's maternal uncle. In this scenario, Reto's wife might be the carrier of the redhead gene, making for an additional parallel with Konoha's founding family.

Because who has red hair? The Uzumaki.

#naruto fanthropology #uzumaki clan #suna headcanons #sunagakure #granny chiyo #kazekage clan #4th kazekage #3rd kazekage #shadowspellchecker

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shadowspellchecker · 6 days

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118. A tale of three Toms

Or Tom, Thom and Tommy

Tom Riddle is fostered by the Crawleys

An old one, based on the realization that Little Hangleton and Downton would be really close.

Concept: Branson passes by orphanage, recognizes name of "neighboring" family who had recent scandal, starts asking questions, pieces things together. Disgusted by the Riddle family, someone takes on Tom, who is no more than 6-7 at latest.

Consequences: Tom Riddle may or may not process love properly, but he does end up raised with sense of duty, good role models, and as a result of his adoption a sense of duty to kin and fellow man, plus stewardship. Knowing only half the story but more about the context, he also has drive to avenge his mother…by financially ruining his father and buying his estate at profit.

He's still in Slytherin, but he's the most terrifying sort: the lawyer-type Snake, who will make the rules work for him. And knowing the Crawleys, he knows there are things more frightening than death for a lord, and thus knows how to really rip his father's heart out.

No Wizarding war, because he isn't out for that. Instead, we see a story of terrifyingly ironic revenge unfold, and a hostile takeover in the language of bureaucracy.

#shadowspellchecker #your tax dollars at work #downton abbey #harry potter crossover #fic prompt

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shadowspellchecker · 13 days

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Cross reference with

https://www.birds.cornell.edu/crows/rusmcg03.pdf

https://www.dainst.blog/the-tepe-telegrams/2016/11/14/dances-with-cranes-animal-masquerade-in-pre-pottery-neolithic-ritual/

https://chs.harvard.edu/curated-article/leonard-muellner-the-simile-of-the-cranes-and-pygmies-a-study-of-homeric-metaphor/

https://bosphorusreview.com/thecranedance

https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/artifact?name=Florence+4209&object=Vase

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyporchema

https://grahamhancock.com/phorum/read.php?1,239717,239754#msg-239754

Marriage and war, dance and combat, death and victory...

And the mimicked spiral-dance of the crane.

And Anatolia, Crete and Greece. Perhaps this mythic theme can be dated to the pre-Neolithic, then passed on to the West with the introduction of farming?

Also consider bull baiting techniques, the Minoan bull dance, and the GT pillars...

#shadowspellchecker #just thinking

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shadowspellchecker · 2 months

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1001 AUs

2. 1. Lost in Space AU

Prompt:

Broad strokes Rogue one and Lost In Space 2018 fusion

Galen Erso with elements of Mrs Robinson and the guy who researched Scarecrow

K2 is one of the robots. He imprints on Cassian

Caspian is in intelligence so kind of has original Don West vibes but also Jay vibes and stands in for Will. K2 imprints on him . His segment is for a while separate and his position has Don West and Doctor vibes.

Saw has vibes of Mr Robinson. Possible stable threesome

Lyra is the medic

Bodhi is very much Don West but without the romance Arc. He's allowed on the Erso's Jupiter and is actually engineering crew

The guardians end up along for the ride.

And Jyn? Came back from the war and function as the kids plot wise. Except for the robot plot.

She was in the British marines.

She was discharged honorably

Saw wasn't.

Krennic is GALENS superior.

Draven is lead on the expedition.

More later.

#your tax dollars at work #when you're supposed to be working #shadowspellchecker #rogue one #lost in space (2018)#Oh come on look at K2SO and Robot!

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shadowspellchecker · 2 months

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1001 AUs

1. 1. Anyone would be a better teacher

Anyone would be a better teacher….

"That is not necessary, dear Cornelius. The founders themselves set contingencies in place for just this situation. Rest assured, Hogwarts herself will provide a willing candidate."

Albus, why haven't we done this before?

In truth, Albus had seen his predecessor use it. Hogwarts' last choice was the reason Minerva's cohort had been half so well-adjusted. Albus spared a thought to the gentleman who had introduced himself to the students with a fond "Hello, Hogwarts. I'm listening." That man had been a muggle of all things! Albus had spent the year desperately concealing that fact rather than paying attention to the fallout of the war in Europe, and utterly missed the beginning of Tom's rise!

Instead, he confided, "It is only for a year, I'm afraid. And then the school will return its choice back to where and when it was taken. Hardly a reliable system."

"And Gilderoy was reliable?"

"Unfortunately, it depends on that we have no other willing applicants. Poor Gilderoy was willing. Fortunately for us, young Delores, for all her willingness to serve Cornelius in whatever way suits his fancy—" Minerva choked. "—is far less willing in this matter than she might wish."

Minerva sighed. "Small mercies. Now why are we waiting here?"

"Here" was outside a blank stretch of wall across from a rather ugly tapestry on the second floor. The unspoken "when" was five minutes to midnight on the last new moon before the first term.

"For our new professor. They should be arriving right… about…"

Across the castle, the clock tower chimed midnight. With a shudder, the wall split open… and they did.

Choose your character. In what state do they arrive? What was happening when they were taken? What is their reaction? Feel free to have Hogwarts make them an offer they can't refuse.

What challenges do they face due to dislocation? Language, powers, cultural norms, world history? How do both sides work around this?

What do they teach in DADA? How do they teach it? Do they even touch on subjects on the OWLS?

From what perspective do we see them introduced to the students?

Is there anything they need to consider before leaving at the end of the year? For instance, if they were taken from a life-threatening situation, how do they prepare so they can survive it?

Example. Rogue one.

"Which one is the professor?"

Two humans and a bloody mess. It becomes obvious that the aoman was supporting the man's weight as when unsettled by the displacement they lose balance and he tumbles to the floor with a sickening crack. The other man stirs, alive but singed and on his last leg. The only one remotely healthy looking is the woman and she looks ready to homicide. And a torched robot. Turn around, and two ghosts.

None of them speak English.

Translator spell for ghosts.

Medical medical medical.

Oh God it's another Snape.

Wands away everyone, you will not need weapons for today's class.

Our corporeal friends will be helping us today. This is Mr. Rook and Ms. Erso, and in the back the good Captain Andor is revising your textbooks.

They have fake wands to conceal being muggle.

Evolution in a force filled galaxy means squiblike passive magic.

Harry acts out? Gets shut down hard.

Jyn is teaching running.

Each of them has different quirks and students rate their days teaching quite differently. Bodhi when he subs in is quickly pinged as the nice one. He and Cassian are very by-the-book and keeping in terms of their contract. Cassian basically develops a new personality mask for teaching. You wouldn't think he was anything other than a requisitioned desk jockey with weird friends and a spinal injury. About a month in he comes in with copies of a primer he wrote himself on avoiding confrontation and infiltration and tactical awareness of one's surroundings. But… it's a book. And it is written like an intelligence mission report, so it's as dry as the Sahara. So his classes are boring. Bodhi, on the other hand, teaches things like bluffing and how to haggle.

Chirrut and Baze usually have one of the others to act as corporeal assistants, but quickly are known as quirky but competent teachers and "SO MUCH BETTER THAN BINNS." That's despite mandatory meditation sessions and proselytizing about something called the Force. Actually, Baze is generally seen as the coolest teacher.

And then there is Jyn. Oy. Within a week she's known as the terror of the student body based simply on the homework she assigns. Running, evasion, push-ups. Starting with two laps around Hogwarts while she throws pinecones at them.

When asked why she isn't using her wand, they hear her outrage. "You are my students. I will never point a deadly weapon at you."

If you ask any of the rogue one crew, anything that can send out death rays and blasting curses is a deadly weapon. But by the point anyone feels comfortable enough to ask her, the students have already worked out that their defense teachers see wands more as a weapon than a tool. It's a strange thought for wizards.

Of course we all know the reason Jyn uses pinecones rather than magic. They're muggles, midichlorian infestation or not. But they aren't telling anyone that, no one is who is in the know since it would give the ministry grounds to replace them. This one excuse gives them a lot of ground to cover.

Luna suggested Cassian is an amateur chef. I'll bite because it makes for great antics. Let's face it, on the Outer Rim cooking probably isn't an uncommon hobby. It's a status symbol in that it means you have food to spare, most people cannot afford restaurants often, and it makes for an emergency fallback profession. So it would be strange if most of them didn't have some training in cooking, or weren't at least interested in the hobby. Jyn aside.

But how it interprets is different.

In Jedha I headcanon most dishes are vegetarian, with few exceptions of non-native red meat. They don't go past that because the local fauna runs from poisonous to outright toxic. On a planet with a high offworld turnover rate that means people don't have time to acclimatize. So… for the poor, no meat.

On the other end, you have Kassa of Kenari. Kenari, I might suggest, is also a poison-ridden planet, but one where the population living there have been stuck there long enough that they've developed tolerances to many of the local species. But they're bugs and arachnids. Throw in Fest and the Ferrix now who have their own ideas of what food is.

Then you have Jyn, who eats just about anything that won't kill her after it stops moving. And a firm believer in "Waste not want not" and "turnabout is fair play".

So for antics. Enter Cassian improvising Acromantula tacos after Jyn took out one of Aragog's kids in the forbidden forest. Chirrut is alarmed because it's sentient, Bodhi and Baze because it's untested meat. K2 is exasperated that Cassian has resumed the habit of sampling local vermin raw if he's repaired. And the students? Someone overhears and the student body end up thinking they're cannibals.

Things they don't do:

Interact much with the students.

Show any sort of discord among themselves or air grievances outside private.

Student impressions

Ron on Andor: Snape in stereo

Harry on ditto: he's scrupulously fair like McGonagall, seems tired all the time like Lupin, but his eyes look like Snapes.

Ginny, on Jyn: she's awesome. I hate her. (Total denial of closet crush on teacher)

Malloy on Baze: please bring the oaf back

Luna Lovegood takes tea with Chirrut all the time. Baze cracks down on bullying.

Minor students react unexpectedly to the six.

K2SO is a mystery to the trio because they see him on the map but he only appears in person around Christmas

Round 2.

One word: Yoda.

Four words: Mistaken for house elf.

Two words: Gimer Stick.

Four words: Draco Malfoy Goes Ow!

Gratuitous handstand meditation + wizard robes = traumatized students.

#your tax dollars at work #shadowspellchecker #rogue one #harry potter crossover #star wars #yoda

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shadowspellchecker · 2 months

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What it is to be a cat's human

Cat's are not like dogs; they are not programmed to love humans.

Yet sometimes there is a cat who just chooses you—you, for some unfathomable reason—to favor above all other humans. That there is something unique about you that that one cat likes.

That is not normal. You cannot count on any cat loving you like that even if you put time and energy into it. You can own a cat, love a cat… and your relationship will be nothing like this.

It is an honor. It is a gift. It is adoration and love from a creature that has made that choice, independent of nature and ancestry.

It is baffling and warm and a heavy, heavy responsibility, because you don't want to let this creature down.

How do you know when it happens?

They seek you out.

You walk into a room, their ears are pinned on you.

You see those gold eyes and know they are watching you like the sun.

All things being equal, it is into your lap they gravitate.

You tap the ground and they come— not because they want to make you happy, but because you have given them an invitation to be near you, and because your proximity makes them happy they choose to accept your invitation.

Your mere touch sets the purr motor running.

You are at work in your room and they come to get you.

You doze off on the couch and suddenly wonder what you are going to do with the furry weight on your chest.

You reach out a hand and they lean into your scratches. The motion is familiar, they resonate with purring. You are filled with wonder, because this is not what people describe for cats.

How it ends

Eventually you get busy. You're tired, you're possibly even depressed. You are caught up in your own life. You begin to take that love for granted.

.

Then you finally notice something off, that he's been sulking. That he hasn't been looking for you.

.

It's not good.

.

What do you do, when the being who has given you all that love is going away?

#help #cats #im breaking #my boy...#irl #shadowspellchecker

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shadowspellchecker · 4 months

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55. Animal shelter AU

Beth: alright, so the proposal for a 3% increase to the budget didn't make it past the lobby *despite rising kibble prices so backup plans it is for this quarter. Benny—

*funny background event

—get cracking. We're counting on your poker winnings to make up the deficit. Jolene—

"I'll get the anonymous donation forms written up before lunch," the legal consultant drawled, lazily swirling foam circles in her tea.

—*thank you, * competent person. Prioritize your meeting with Commerce Secretary Schneider today though; I want you on him like a pit bull.—

Jolene rolls her eyes—

Now the electrical has to be fixed before adoption week, and as we all know, Alston dropped the ball again. Harry—

Insert confusion all around —

You apprenticed as an electrician for two years before switching to veterinary college. Time to put those skills to use—

"I'm not licensed."

—yeah, don't have the budget to care. Get the overheads off the extension cords yesterday, we have no room for lawsuits. M&M twins!—

They stop muttering suspiciously—

Community outreach. The spay-neuter metrics can hold until Monday, I need you two talking to every news distributor in the county. I'll speak to Townes, get the ball rolling with the papers, but with Margaret on leave you're on your own about the rest. All of you—

Everyone freezes

—should be *delighted (AN: imagine how dry Beth's tone can get. You will fail, but try to anyway) to know that Cleo's Pet Boutique has agreed to work pro bono for the event, so we can hold off on fixing the large breed showers until next week. Pray that Shaibel is back on his feet by then or that the trades union changes their minds about us. Questions? —What is it, Watts?

I know Gibson's Catering has pulled out, but Levertov says the Jewish Community Center would be willing to foot the bill…. Apparently there is a kosher food truck?

—tell him we'll take it. Jolene—

Paperwork coming up.

—Not before lunch. We're in crunch time, so reconvene tomorrow.

[Staff exits]

Beth [to painting on the wall]: How am I doing, Alma?

The Alma Benson House for animals.

#the queens gambit #animal shelter au #yourtaxdollarsatwork #shadowspellchecker

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shadowspellchecker · 8 months

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Rogue One Fix-it AU concept:

In which being Guardians of the Whills actually means something...

Jyn keeps seeing ghosts

Andor reverts to some old habits. Very Old Habits...

and Bodhi has had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this mother-fucking (hydro-)plane--whatthehellcaptaindon'teatit!

I've got zero time in my life and three in-limbo fanfics plus one fan-essay, so this is definitely a Sir-Never-Appearing-on-my-Works-Page. But the concept is there and demanded to be documented.

Basically, my take goes like this:

Remember that old thing about Qui-Gonn learning to manifest as a force spirit from a Shaman of the Whills? Now, in the Clone Wars series, that's explained as five Force Priestesses. But let's say for a moment that they're the same thing. Force Priestesses, Shamans of the Whills. Same difference, from a certain point of view.

So then what does that make Chirrut and Baze when they die? Not strongly Force-sensitive, but definitely Guardians of the Whills. And in a place where kyber is being experimented on, with a big-ass chunk of it looming overhead! It would make sense then that something...glitched. In this AU, I'd posit that Chirrut and Baze became manifest as Force Entities jumping between kyber crystals. Starting with the huge collection on the Death Star.

So these two wake up dead and haunting the Death Star's main weapon's most critical part. So they... interfere with the laser. Somehow. Or rather, Chirrut is; Baze provides color commentary. Ergo, Death Star needs more tweaking. Great? Great. Except, all that unfocused energy needs to go somewhere, and a good jot still runs through the transmitter and hits something flammable, blowing the facility up. Big dust cloud interfering with sensors. It's great news for surviving Rebels, but bad news at the same time: because now you have a bunch of seriously to critically injured individuals trying to survive an unwilling Beach Episode with no supplies (base destroyed) while both sides capable of rescue are scratching their heads thinking "Nobody could survive that."

Then you have Bodhi. Desert boy, fast runner. This fic posits that before the grenade blew, he managed to escape the blast by the skin of his teeth. Wouldn't do him any good whatsoever in canon, but in this case, he's just got to get out of the way of the battleground. Which he does by the time the facility goes boom.

Meanwhile, Jyn and Cassian are on the beach, expecting to die, and it goes...well, not as planned. So they're limping into the jungle, and Jyn sees Baze and Chirrut wander up and start talking. They point them in Bodhi's direction, they're the ones who suggest a useful localized painkiller (some sort of fish-like alien, just stab the afflicted area with some of those spines on it's back, don't worry the biochemistry is too different to affect you), they're the ones who discover that Krennic had left a hydrofoil further down the beach. Cassian's half-dead to comment on Jyn talking to no-one, and Jyn's too drained to notice they're blue. Eventually they run into Bodhi, find their way to the hydrofoil, Cassian collapses, and Bodhi asks Jyn who the hell she's talking to.

"Chirrut and Baze are here." "No, they're not."

What they don't realize is that their ghostly visitors are now haunting Jyn's mother's kyber crystal.

Whatever else, they're now stuck. And yes, there are snake-like eel things nesting in the hydrofoil. Good news? They biosynthesize bacta. No one realizes it until Cassian wakes up and, defaulting to dietary habits from Kenari, starts eating it raw.

And that's when the stormtrooper deserters enter the picture.

Other titles:

In which being Guardians of the Whills actually means something...

Jyn Sees Dead People...

Cassian is way too happy to play Dances With Wolves...

and Bodhi is quite reasonably done with this shit.

#shadowspellchecker #rogue one #star wars #fanfic prompt #crack fic

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shadowspellchecker · 8 months

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Just images

Current viable limits