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#she even told me she just wanted to be involved
facioleeknow · 3 days
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The art of pleasure ch.1
Caress ° Bang Chan
When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It's only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?
Genre: College AU, SMUT 18+ ONLY wc: 1431
Warnings: fraternity skz, inexperienced reader, experienced chan and stray kids, kissing, frat party, a bitch, insecurities
The art of pleasure masterlist
A/N: Hello, thank you so much for the support on this series!! This chapter is pretty tame BUT IT IS THE FIRST, so don't worry about it!! Channie girls don't worry he's gonna get some later ;)
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Another semester. Another party at the only frat house on campus, it was nothing out of the ordinary. The usual room filled with flowing alcohol and the usual people, dancing to the usual songs. You’re sure it might be the idea of fun of some of the people that surrounded you but not yours, obviously not yours. That was why you were the only unusual thing in there. You weren’t a party animal, you weren’t so extroverted as to go to a party to have fun. Unfortunately it was also your best friend’s birthday who happened to be the president of the fraternity, so you really couldn’t have said no to his invitation. 
The scene in front of you shifted. A drunk girl started approaching you.
“Oh my god, Y/N! You’re here, I’m so happy to see you,” the girl, from one of your classes, threw her arms around you and squeezed tightly. The feeling of her foreign body pressed against yours made you shiver uncomfortably. 
“Oh, c’mon Y/Nnie, loosen up a little!” Alice said with a sly slime. Before you could commit murder in cold blood in front of your whole year, your two (out of three) friends pulled you away into a more secluded area of the room. In front of you laid a messy circle of people, intently focused on a spinning bottle.
‘Yuck’
“I can't believe people still play spin the bottle at their old age,” Shuhua mumbled as disgusted as you.
“You read my mind,Shu.”
“Omg Y/Nnie! You want to play spin the bottle? Wouldn't it be embarrassing tho? Since you're a virgin at your big age,” Alice fell into a fit of giggles, soon followed by her friends.
“God, she cannot be serious,” you whispered to your friends while you all collectively side-eyed the bitch. And that was exactly what she was, nothing other than a bitch. But then why was your face burning in shame and your heart racing? Why were your palms sweating so much? You shouldn't have been that affected but you were.
For the whole night you couldn’t help but think about Alice's words, because no matter how spiteful they were and how much of a bitch she was, they were also true. You were a virgin “at your big age”, but that had never bothered you until you had entered college. Never in your life had you seen so many people get involved with each other and in some ways you felt pushed aside and in the dark about this magical new world that everybody had already discovered, everybody but you. 
The red solo cup in your hands wrinkled slightly under your fingertips as you squeezed it. You shouldn’t have been thinking about those things, why were you hyperfocusing right now?
“You’re supposed to collect the cups, babygirl, not strangle them,”a masculine voice pulled you out of your train of thoughts. Bang Chan, the birthday boy and your best friend. You and Chan had known each other since your first year of college, he had saved you from making a fool out of yourself the first day and walked you to your lecture hall. Since then he had stuck by your side and helped you make some new friends even if you were extremely picky with people.
“Ew, Christopher, I told you not to call me that,” you grimaced at the cringey name. He just giggled.
“I know, but I like annoying you too much,” another giggle. A small smile threatened to break your “angry” facade, this carefree side of him was a rare sight and the fact that he was showing it to you was making you giddy.
His warm hands snatched the trash bag away from you before clasping around your smaller ones. 
“Seriously, what is going on?”
Lying wasn’t an option, he was way too observant for his own good, he always knew when you lied even when you didn’t yourself. You scoffed.
“Just something Alice said,'' and with that you tried to grab the bag from behind him to resume your job. No movement, he had an iron grip on you.
“What did she say?”
“Just her usual nagging, you know how she is,” you tugged and tried to get away from his grip to no avail.
“Tell me,” he wasn’t asking and that was obvious to the both of you.
“She said that it’s embarrassing to be a virgin at my big age.”
Chan finally let your hands fall to your sides and in exchange wrapped his arms around you and squished you against his chest.
“Bitch, she shouldn’t have been here, she wasn’t invited,” his chest rumbled with his words, “I’m sorry Y/N, I hope you know she’s in the wrong.” 
With your arms wrapped around Chan and your face squished against his chest, with the gentleness of his voice caressing you, you found it hard to lie so you just stayed silent.
“Oh baby, don’t think about it, okay? She’s wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. Let’s go to bed, I can clean up tomorrow morning.”
For the whole night you tossed and turned with always the same thought in you mind, hoping not to wake Chan who was sleeping soundly next to you for once.It was no surprise that early in the morning you felt exhausted, your limbs were heavy and your mind was foggy, but you still couldn’t fall asleep. 
“Did you sleep at all? I heard you move around a lot,” Christopher groaned next to you, his arm lazily draped over your middle.
“Sorry,” you tried to utter in your half dead state.
“I had an idea while I was sleeping,” he dragged your body against his and started to gently rub your arm to ease you to sleep. You only hummed in response.
“You should let me and the kids teach you about sex, you know us and we’re good people, we would never push you to do anything. We can take anything at your own pace, we’ll teach you well,” he spoke like he was saying the most natural thing in the world and not suggesting you get passed between him and his other seven friends. Sensing your confusion, Chan gently shushed you and started rubbing your arm again.
“Think about it, we can talk about it when you wake up.”
A witty response was about to come out of your mouth but darkness enveloped you like a hug. Chan hugged you tighter to his chest and sighed. ‘That went well’, he thought.
When you woke up, a blinding light was filtering through the window. Damn Christopher who never closed the blinds.
“Good morning,” the said man chirped happily from next to you. The moment you laid your eyes on him, the conversation from that morning resurfaced to your mind. The frantic beating of your heart sent a shot of adrenaline through you.
“I take it you remember what I asked you,” he put his phone back on his nightstand to fully give you his attention.
“Chris..” you started but he swiftly interrupted you.
“We’re not doing it out of pity, we are all attracted to you, we wouldn’t make it awkward and if you refuse it’s gonna be like it never happened,” Chris answered all of your questions like he could read your mind. You were confused, your heart (and your vagina) wanted to say yes but your head told you to refuse. 
‘Fuck it, stop thinking.’
“Okay, let’s do it.” Chris stayed silent, only your synced breaths could be heard in the room. The tension was thick and full of desire.
“Can I kiss you, pretty girl? Just a kiss and you can stop me anytime you want.”
“Yes, please.” With that Chris  pulled you in his lap in mere seconds and attached your lips together. He wasted no time and pushed his tongue in your mouth, still his movements were gentle and slow just like yours were slow and hesitant. His whole persona dripped in gentle dominance, it made you hot and sweat and made your pussy throb. His hands roamed your body and tentatively groped around, testing your limits. Your lips moved more and more confidently the more time they were attached to Chan’s.
Your lungs burned from the lack of air but you didn’t care, you were drunk on his touch, his taste, you were drunk on him.
Chan was the first to break the kiss and immediately giggled when you tried to kiss him again.
“Patience baby, we have a lot of time.”
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queenshelby · 2 days
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Our Little Secret (Part 51)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut
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With the wedding coming up, Cillian and you made even more of an effort to remain on good terms than you ever did before. While he was away, filming the Peaky Blinders Movie, you video called him so that Mara could see her daddy every day.
Every day, before she went to bed, you allowed Cillian to read her a story over the webcam, whenever he was able to.
It was a small gesture that meant a lot to Mara, and it helped her and Cillian to maintain a connection despite the distance.
Your therapist welcomed the positive communication and reminded you that you were doing an implacable job by keeping him involved even despite his busy schedule. 
During that time, you also noticed a slight change in Cillian's behavior. He seemed more relaxed, more at ease with himself, and with you. 
"So, what's the plan for Mara's birthday next week?" he asked one evening when he skyped in from London.
"I was thinking a party actually. She has been at daycare twice a week and made some friends. I was going to invite them and their parents. My mum, Siobhan and Emma are coming too, and I think even your mum is driving down from Cork. I also invited two friends from my mother's group," you said, filled with enthusiasm for Mara's big day.
Cillian chuckled, his eyes filled with warmth. "Sounds like you got everything planned out," he said, sounding genuinely pleased. 
"You know it would be nice for Mara if you could come,"  you added, hoping that he might be able to make the trip.
"I would love to," he said, "but you know I can't leave the set, Y/N. I have a busy schedule filming and I'm just hoping that things will ease up a bit in the next couple of weeks," Cillian said with sadness in his voice. 
You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment, but you knew that filming was important for Cillian's career.
"I know, but what I am saying is that you are more than welcome to come if you wanted to," you repeated, looking him straight in the eyes through the camera.
"And I appreciate that, really," he nodded, taking a deep breath. "But I still need to wrap up this movie." 
"I understand," you said softly, biting your bottom lip. "And, you know, you can always celebrate with her when you come back by taking her to the zoo or something. She probably won't remember the party anyway, but she will also remember the zoo," you chuckled, seeing how it was Mara's favorite place to go these days. 
"You are probably right you know," Cillian conceded, his expression softening even further. "Now, did you call the carpenter to fix up the shelving in the living room? I told him that you would call and to invoice for it. You might need that done before the party," he continued, seeing how one of the built in shelves had collapsed after you tried to carry out some DYI work on it. 
"No, he can't do it until the week after next, but Sean offered to fix it for me before the party which is nice,"  you informed him, noticing how Cillian's expression changed for a second.
"Sean, huh?" Cillian chuckled; his expression unreadable but you could hear a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Don't start, Cillian! Don't fucking start!" you shot back with irk, already feeling the familiar burn in the pit of your stomach.
"I didn't even say anything," Cillian smirked, his eyes glimmering as he studied your reaction.
"Then why are you acting the way you are when I bring up his name?" you asked, rolling your shoulders back, trying to release some tension in your body.
"I'm not. It's none of my business who you spend your time with so long as you keep Mara out of it," Cillian growled, scratching the back of his neck impatiently.
"You know what, I was actually thinking about inviting him to the party, as a friend of course and only if you would allow it. Because he has been a big help those last few days, running errands for me for her party while I was sitting my exams and he asked me whether he could come," you told Cillian nonchalantly, secretly enjoying his reaction.
"Oh, did he now?" Cillian said with a sigh as he adjusted the display setting. "So, you two are getting more serious then?" he enquired  without looking at you.
You could tell he was slightly irritated, he clearly didn't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing it on his face.
"Well, we are still taking things slow and we not being too serious about it. We agreed on no labels, but I still only consider him as a friend, with benefits,"  you replied, being brutally honest while watching Cillian's reactions closely.
"So poor Sean is still in the friend zone then, eh?"  Cillian quipped, the corner of his mouth curling into a slight smirk before he quickly hid it.
You noticed it, and it stung a little, but you tried not to let it get to you.
"Yes," you confirmed, doing your best to maintain a neutral expression. "He has been very supportive and helpful lately and I like having him around, but there is no pressure between us. We are both free to see other people. That's the way it is for now."
Cillian nodded, turning his gaze back to the camera. "Fair enough and thank you for clarifying your relationship status for me. I just hope he knows that too, because I am not the one who needs convincing Y/N," Cillian said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Whatever Cillian. Can you just give me an answer?"  you asked, your patience wearing thin.
Cillian's smirk faded, to be replaced by a look of annoyance. "What do you want me to say, Y/N? I don't want Sean around my daughter," he said firmly.
You let out a frustrated sigh. "Why not? He is a decent person and Mara won't even know who he is. There are other people there who are no more than friends either and there most certainly won't be any public display of affection," you argued , trying to reason with him.
Cillian sighed deeply, knowing that he couldn't win this argument. "Fine. He can come, but only if you make sure that nothing happens between the two of you that Mara might see, at least not until you are serious about him which, it clearly seems, will never happen," he relented , eliminating any obvious doubts in your mind.
***
Your mind began working overtime to decide a strategic approach to the situation. On one hand, you were glad that Cillian was allowing Sean to attend the party, but on the other hand, the caveat gave you a sense of unease. 
You explained the situation to Sean on your next date when your mother was looking after Mara and, much to your surprise, he was very understanding about it.
"My parents separated when I was twelve Y/N. I get it, so don't worry, okay? I don't even have to come. I can help you set up and then leave before Mara and your mum arrive," Sean suggested, trying to make things as easy as possible for both of you.
"I really appreciate that Sean, but I don't want you to feel like you have to leave on my account, especially since you have been helping me so much those last few days," you  told him sincerely.
"And I like helping you Y/N, because I know that being a single mum can be hard. Your ex hasn't really been making an effort to be here for Mara lately, so if I can do anything to help, I will," Sean replied with conviction.
"Cillian is away filming. That's his job Sean," you explained wearily, wondering if he had brought this up to upset you or validate his actions. 
"I know, but he should really make an effort to be there for his daughter's first birthday, don't you think?"  Sean queried, a hint of frustration coloring his voice.
"Maybe, but it's not my place to say or judge what he does, because he is still looking after us both," you responded, attempting to defuse the tension that had suddenly risen between you. "So, lets change the topic shall we?" you suggested, trying to keep the mood light and pleasant. 
"I am sorry Y/N. You are right," Sean sighed, taking a deep breath before giving you a gentle kiss.
***
Later that day, after you picked up Mara and Sean went his separate way to catch up with some of his friends, he couldn't help but feel slightly let down by the conversation he had with you about the upcoming birthday party and confided in a friend about it.
"Dude, you're acting like you are in some kind of relationship with this chick," his friend Mark joked, taking a swig of his beer. "You told me that you two agreed to be friends with benefits. You don't owe her anything other than your time while you are hooking up and she doesn't owe you anything either! So why do you even want to go to that kid's birthday party?"
Sean sighed, shaking his head as he stared out the bar window at the busy cobblestone street outside.
"Because I want to make an effort for her daughter and make her see that I could actually be right for her, you know?" Sean replied, finally giving voice to his true feelings. "It's just that she is so damn stubborn most of the time, and I know that she still has feelings for her ex, which I can't really compete with."
Mark chuckled, slapping Sean on the back. "Well, he is Thomas Fucking Shelby, man," he laughed, burying the rest of his beer in one swift gulp. 
"You are not helping Mark!" Sean rolled his eyes at his friend's remark. "I am trying here, you know?"  Sean said, sighing again, exasperated.
"I know, and Y/N is a lucky woman to have you," Mark smiled, clinking his empty bottle against Sean's before signaling for another round. "But dude, you need to just relax and stop worrying about her ex. If she wants to be with you, she will. It's that simple."
"She said she just wants to be friends and I don't even want her to meet you guys because I am worried that I will look like a fool when she decides to go back to  her ex," Sean sighed, sitting down on the couch in his apartment, feeling frustrated. "I mean, how am I seriously going to compete with someone like him, a famous fucking Hollywood actor?" Sean mumbled to himself as he paced around his apartment. 
"You may not be able to, but she may also just play hard to get, which is what a lot of women seem to do these days," Mark reminded him thoughtfully as he watched Sean struggle with his thoughts. "Maybe you should focus on being the best version of yourself for your sake and not for hers, and then she will soon see if you are right for her or not," Mark added with a raised eyebrow. "Or you could find something that makes her ex look really bad. He is famous enough, so surely, with the right help, you can dig up some dirt," Mark suggested with a sly grin and Sean's brow furrowed as he contemplated Mark's words, his mind racing with ideas of how he could ruin Cillian for you, once and for all. 
"Maybe I should try, yeah, but I don't want to fight dirty. Despite, I don't even know him or anyone who hangs out with him other than Y/N herself," he said, his morals preventing him from considering such a devious course of action.
"Well, let me help you then," Mark offered, pulling out his phone and conducting a quick online search. "I work for the Irish Times after all," his friend smirked,  focusing on the task at hand. 
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gilbirda · 11 hours
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Personal coach Red Hood
This one goes for @impyssadobsessions, for giving ideas and encouraging me to write this!
Part 1 | Part 2
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It was supposed to be your pretty standard run-of-the-mill bank robbery with hostage situation. He had it under control, and told the others that if they dared swing in and “help him out” he would shoot on sight. Given that there were civilians involved, and they weren’t quite sure if he was serious or not — and Oracle confirmed that everything seemed okay via the security cameras — he was left alone tying up the robbers in peace.
That was until a hostage made the stupid mistake to be brave, or a fucking idiot if you ask Jason, and tried to rush one of the guys before Jason had a chance to subdue him.
Who exactly shot first, he couldn’t be sure; but in the following chaos and screams Jason had to prioritize making sure that no one innocent was caught in the crossfire, which gave the perps the chance to escape.
With a sigh, he connected back to comms. “So… “
“They escaped, right?” Barbara’s tone was flat. Which was code that she was laughing at him.
“Yeah…”
“And you want me to alert the others.”
He sighed again, doing a final sweep just in case another hostage got funny ideas. “Yeah…”
Barbara hummed in his ears. It wasn’t a good sign. “Maybe that’s not needed.” And before he could ask what she meant, she added: “Your stalker is already on the move.”
Jason felt cold just before he was flooded with anger. Of all the stupid things! She had put herself in harm's way so many times and now she pulled something like this? Did she have a deathwish?
He rushed outside to prevent a very probable murder to find —
“Hi!” She said again, a giant smile on her face, waving one hand. “I saw them escape so I jumped in, I hope you don’t mind.” She started talking at a high speed. “So I was following you but couldn’t get inside in time and when the lockdown happened I just thought maybe you’d need backup or something? There were some guys on the rooftop but—”
“What the hell were you thinking?” He growled, maybe louder than he intended.
She blinked and got quiet. Finally.
Even the usual crowd of curious civilians watching from a safe distance stopped murmuring.
“Are you that stupid!?”
Jazz blinked again. “What?
He tried to pinch his nose, but forgot he had the helmet on. He chose to rub the helmet instead.
“Do you want to die?” For some reason this amused her, which really didn’t help her case. “Stop following me around and strong-arm yourself in dangerous situations like this!”
She frowned. “But I’m fine? I can take care of myself.”
She lifted her hands to show she was still in one piece, but Jason grabbed her right arm and pulled her towards him. Her hand was bloody and her knuckles were red, probably going to bruise.
“What’s this, then?”
“That’s not even mine,” Jazz rolled her eyes, but tried to pry her hand out from his grasp. Jason didn’t let go and grabbed her left shoulder next, growling when Jazz whimpered. “Okay that was me being distracted.”
He let her go and pushed her away. “If you show your face in my territory again, woman, you’ll pray you left when you had a chance.”
He turned around and walked to the knocked out guys on the ground, not caring if Jazz — if she was still there watching him. It was better for everyone if she abandoned the idea of vigilantism, or training with him or whatever was supposed to make sense in her head.
When the police arrived, she was already gone.
---
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acourtofthought · 3 days
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Fellow Gwynriel/Elucien here, but I don’t agree with the Nuala and Cerridwen erasure.
Here’s my question: why do you not want Nuala and Cerridwen to be involved in Elain’s story? Why are you so opposed to them having a more active role in Elain’s life?
Despite posting multiple times a day for what I’m presuming is years now, you have never once mentioned them in your blog (which is crazy, considering that Nuala and Cerridwen are indeed relevant to Elain’s character thus far). You didn’t even refer to them by their actual names in the post you made.
The ACOTAR novels rarely feature POC characters at the forefront. Nuala and Cerridwen’s involvement as Elain’s version of Gwyn and Emerie would be a fantastic opportunity to change that.
To date, aside from their spy work (which is never shown on page), they’re only said to be the IC’s servants/handmaidens, which is a particularity problematic stereotype.
Why shouldn’t we wish for more for both Nuala and Cerridwen?
Why couldn’t they be Elain’s own found family? We barely know them yet to make a call one way or another…
Nuala and Cerridwen aren't just the ICs servants or handmaidens, they're the ICs spies so they are already more. I'm also not sure why we have to claim someone who does hard work for others has to be given a more important role in order to be considered valuable. There's nothing wrong with maintaining someone's home.
Of course the main characters of a story go on to have greater purpose but it's a bit odd to claim every side character who works for them is the victim of a harmful stereotype. They're paid well and from what I gather are respected by Rhys so I'm not getting the sense they need to break free of shackles of some sort.
And having two of the NCs spies play a major role in a book feels a little redundant since Az is also one of the ICs spies and chances are high he's getting a book. And Lucien was once said to have been the Spring Court's emissary and possible spymaster so again, another main character who already fills that role. Both POC characters might I add. Which Rhys is, which Amren is, which Cassian is, which Az and Emerie are, which Helion is (and who would play a role in an Elucien book). An Elain pov featuring Nuala and Cerridwen would not be two female POC at the forefront. It would be a white FMC at the forefront with side character female POC, which we did see in SF, which we did see in ACOMAF in Amren. Emerie getting a POV would be a female POC at the forefront.
I'm not even sure the wraiths are technically POC because we're told they're half wraiths made from shadow.
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Alis had brown bark like skin because she was a certain sort of fae that resembled the bark of a tree but I don't think she was meant to resemble a particular kind of person in real life. There was the blue fairie with wings in book 1. Again, not really a poc so much as a specific type of fairie. The Suriel was gray, were they written as a POC? I think that's what we're being told of the twins rather than them technically being persons of color the way Kallias, Helion, etc are. Also, Vassa is referred to as having golden brown skin therefore she appears to be written as a poc and would most likely play a major role in Elain's book. Vassa who cared for Elain's father. Even then though, I don't think Elain will have a found family in the same way Nesta and Feyre did, I think she'll have various friends across all courts and lands. If she's to end up in Spring or Day, it wouldn't make sense for her core group of people to be from the human lands or NC.
I also don't recall the fandom demanding justice for Alis having bigger representation though she was also just a servant and only servant.
The reason I didn't refer to them by name is their names are complicated, I didn't want to misspell them and I didn't have my phone beside me at the moment I was typing the post. Not to mention it's a pain to continue writing two long names over and over which is why the fandom often defaults to ship names when possible.
And the reason I'm opposed to them having a more active role in Elain's book is I'm not. I'm not opposed to anything. In fact my fanfiction features Elain interacting with them so your comment that I never address them is incorrect. Many of my posts have addressed that I believe they'll always be friends of Elain, just not her main found family.
What I do when reading these books is try to follow what I believe the author is telling us.
The wraiths have been around since book 1 and if SJM had wanted us to believe they were important to the future novels I feel she would have begun to give us a bit more on them. Look at Jurian for example. He's only ever been a side character yet he's been given tons of dialogue, an interesting backstory, a dimensional personality, character growth and a developing purpose.
Sarah has chosen to keep the wraiths singularly dimensional, not having them share in dialogue with anyone outside Feyre, not giving them a greater role than that which they've had since the start of the series and not writing hints that they'll be relevant to future plots, a lot like she wrote Alis. I love Alis but I can recognize when authors are writing side characters who are meant to only stay side characters. Were the wraiths even in the war? Not to mention if Elain leaves with Lucien, why would they steal centuries loyal workers of the NC from Rhys?
If Elain leaves with Lucien, what need is there for two NC representatives to tag along for their romantic arc as they travel to Spring, to the continent, to Day, etc? Where they will most likely be meeting new people along the way in each place?
I'm not saying we won't see Elain interact with them in her book but no, I don't think they're her found family that she'll journey with.
I don't read books hoping for things that I think the author should do.
I read books and try to anticipate what I think the author is telling us she will do.
My feelings on the wraiths don't matter in the end, what Sarah's feelings on the wraiths do. And based on her patterns and past writing of side characters who were given greater purpose at a later point, Nuala and Cerridwen do not fit that mold.
You claim they are relevant to Elain's story but based on that logic Amren should have played a much bigger role in Nesta's book yet Sarah chose to have Nesta develop a found family outside of the friendship she made prior to her book.
Of course I could be wrong or she could change direction but I'm not going to sit here and theorize that which the author doesn't seem to be hinting at at this point in time.
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gumnut-logic · 19 hours
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Christmas in the Tracy household was a big family affair. The house itself was a big one. Big enough to house extended family and the bustle and noise that involved.
Scott loved it. Loved everyone being together, the hugs, the jokes, the fact that Uncle Lee always called him ‘Little Jeff’ and told the best stories about planes and rockets. Aunt Val always brought the best Christmas cookies with various aircraft drawn on them with icing. Grandma Taylor had different coloured hair every year and this year was bright blue and included glitter. Grandpa Taylor invented toys for a living so he was always welcome. Though Virgil tended to hoard his attention and Scott wasn’t really sure why because Virgil pulled apart everything Grandpa Taylor gave him anyway.
But the best part of Christmas this year was that Daddy was home.
Daddy spent a lot of time away. Scott understood why, but that didn’t stop him from missing him. Dad had stories much like Uncle Lee and often they starred in each other’s tales, but there was something about his father that Scott just looked up to even more.
It didn’t hurt that Uncle Lee made a point of placing Scott’s father in the spotlight in all his stories.
Dad was an amazing person. A hero.
Dad was also very tall and strong and always had the answers Scott needed. While Mom looked after him and his two little brothers and he loved her very much, Dad was…Dad.
And Scott wanted more than anything to grow up and be just like him.
It certainly didn’t hurt that his father had the same colour hair and everyone said Scott looked a lot like him. Scott bore those comments proudly and made a point of doing his best to emulate what his father might do in any situation.
Scott was going to grow up, join the Air Force and do his father proud.
A clatter in the hallway and Virgil barrelled into the room. Uncle Lee, who had been retelling the Mars landing, stopped mid-word and frowned.
His biggest little brother’s eyes widened as he skidded to a halt and straightened himself up. “Uh, excuse me, Uncle Lee.” A blink, and he looked fit to burst. “Could I please speak to Scott?”
“Sure….squirt.”
That caused Virgil to frown. Scott thought it was funny. Uncle Lee never seemed to be able to remember Virgil’s name.
And besides, Virgil had a thing about being smaller than Scott and didn’t like it being pointed out.
However, Virgil hurried over anyway. “Scotty, can I borrow Chuckles?”
Blink “His name’s not ‘Chuckles’, it’s Chuck.”
“Oh, okay.” Virgil bit his lip. “But can I anyway?”
“Why?”
“Johnny won’t leave me alone.”
“He’ll eat his goggles.”
“Better than him eating my nuts.”
Uncle Lee made an odd sound that dissolved into a cough when Scott and Virgil looked at him.
Scott sighed. “Virgil, it’s Christmas. We’re supposed to share.”
Virgil dragged Scott part way across the room, away from Uncle Lee and lowered his voice.
“I tried, but the kit contains small bits. Mom said Johnny wasn’t allowed to play with small things. She said he was too young.” It was almost hissed under Virgil’s breath. “I don’t want him to get hurt or to get into trouble. Chuckles always distracts him.”
His name wasn’t ‘Chuckles’, it was ‘Chuck’ after Chuck Yeager, the first pilot to break the sound barrier. But Virgil had called the bear ‘Chuckles’ once as a joke, Johnny had picked it up and now it was all about Chuckles. It was annoying.
“Well, give him the nuts and tell him to go eat them somewhere else.”
Virgil stared at him aghast, but then his eyes widened. “Nuts. As in ‘nuts and bolts’, Scott! I’m building the robot Grandpa Taylor brought me. Johnny keeps trying to eat bits of metal.”
Oh.
Uncle Taylor had picked up his tablet, but was now staring at them, a question on his face. “You boys okay?”
Scott nodded. “Yes, Uncle Lee. Virgil just needs some help with his kit. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Blue eyes gauged him, but Scott was more worried about his littlest brother and dragged Virgil out the door.
“Where is Johnny?”
“On the floor outside my room.”
“You didn’t leave the door open, did you?”
“No.”
Scott hurried down the hall. “Why didn’t you call Mom?”
“I tried. Mom is talking to Aunt Val and she sounded sad. I didn’t want to interrupt and I didn’t want Johnny to get into trouble. Chuckles will fix it.”
“His name is not Chuckles!”
Scott rounded the corner and to his horror, Virgil’s door was wide open.
He didn’t bother to acknowledge Virgil’s gasp of horror, but instead barrelled on through the door terrified he would find his little brother choking on the floor.
But Virgil’s desk was empty except for the scattered pieces of his project. A quick glance around the room and Scott quickly found Johnny.
He was no more than a tuft of red hair wrapped around Scott’s pilot bear, half buried in Virgil’s bed covers.
Two wide eyes popped up over the top of those goggles. “Scotty!”
Scott hurried over to the bed. “Johnny, are you okay?”
“Chuckles!” Johnny held up the bear and grinned.
Scott sighed and sat down on the bed next to his littlest brother. His heart was beating fast - he had been so scared.
Virgil stood in the centre of his room staring at Johnny, his lip trembling. It was obvious he realised what could have happened when he left to get help.
Tears welled in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Scotty. I thought he couldn’t get in. I didn’t want him to get hurt.”
“Virg, he’s okay.” The fright in Virgil’s eyes had the eldest hurrying off the bed from one brother to another. “C’mon, Johnny’s fine. He went and got Chuckles, didn’t you, Johnny?”
The three-year-old’s eyes peered up at Virgil registering his distress and soaking it in like a sponge. His grin vanished and his brow crumpled. “Virgil?” Johnny clambered out of the bed and scampered over to his next eldest brother. “Chuckles? Chuckles make it better?” He offered Virgil the bear.
Virgil stared at Chuckles for a moment before reaching out and taking the fluffy toy. He poked at it gently before hugging it to his chest.
John threw himself at his brother with a huge hug almost knocking Virgil over. Scott reached out and steadied him before adding his own arm to the mix and hugging both his brothers at once. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”
Scott had to scrub snot off Chuckles’ ear later that night.
-o-o-o-
Christmas Eve was family relaxing time before the busy of the next day. Mom, who had been in the kitchen with Onaha since just after breakfast, called a halt to everything at six in the evening and they sat down for a light buffet of a meal. Every family member donated time or a dish which was mostly warm finger foods like pie and things on sticks.
Scott always looked forward to dessert on Christmas Eve because there were all sorts of interesting things to be had. Aunt Val’s Christmas cookies was one of them.
He stood staring at the different planes so artistically drawn on each of them. They were good enough to be recognisable and none of that generic kiddy stuff kids’ books tried to throw at him. Some were historical, some more modern.
“Trying to decide which plane to eat this year, honey?” Grandma Tracy crept up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Her long blonde hair flopped over his shoulder as she leant in to kiss him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Scotty.”
“Merry Christmas, Grandma.” But he was still frowning at the cookies. “I can’t see Dad’s plane.”
“Your dad has flown several of those.”
“Yeah, but I want the Sparrowhawk Anderson ZX3.”
Grandma snorted. “Then you’ll have to chase up your father. I saw him nab it earlier.”
Scott turned to his grandmother. “Really?”
“Really.” And it was his father’s deep, smiling voice as Scott was suddenly scooped up in strong laughing arms. “C’mon, ‘Little Jeff’, I’ve saved you your favourite cookie.”
Scott giggled and squirmed, but ultimately clung to his dad, resting his head on his shoulder for just a moment as he was carried across the room to his father’s chair and plomped down on his lap as the man sat down. The longed-for cookie was produced and Scott grabbed it. “Thanks, Dad.”
A big hand on his back, another on his knee, Scott was held close.
“So, what have you and your brothers been up to this week?”
Scott stared at the cookie with the grey, blue and red jet iced on top. “Virgil, did a good drawing of a plane. He didn’t get the tail quite right, but I helped him with that. Johnny learnt some new words.” He couldn’t hold back any longer and bit into the cookie.
It was the best.
Dad snorted. “I heard. I suspected it was you who taught Johnny to say ‘extra-orbital’.”
Scott grinned, his mouth full of biscuit crumbs.
“Swallow before you talk, son.” But his father was smirking.
Scott downed the remains of the cookie, caught between enjoying it and the opportunity to sit and talk with his dad. “He knows all the planets, too.”
“Really?” His father frowned. “He’s only three years old, Scotty.”
Scott sat a bit straighter. I taught him all the names and showed him Mars where you and Uncle Lee went.”
The smile that appeared on his dad’s face only encouraged him. “Virgil drew him pictures of each of them and we stuck them on the wall in his room.”
“That was very kind of the two of you.”
“It made Johnny happy.” Scott didn’t want to mention that Johnny was sometimes sad and always serious. “I want to help him.”
“It sounds like you are doing an excellent job.”
“I’m the eldest.” And Scott knew what Dad was going to say.
“Yes, you are, and that means you have to look after your little brothers. They look up to you and they are your responsibility.”
Scott stared up at those serious grey eyes and for just a second Dad looked like Johnny. “Yes, Dad. I will, I promise.”
His father’s big hand patted his back. “I know you will.”
Scott smiled.
-o-o-o-
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sunshineandspencer · 2 days
Text
Coffee dates (Iridescent, Part 3)
A/N: I don’t know how to enemies to lovers, why can’t we all just be friends. Again, I haven’t seen past season 10, I don’t know how it works or who is present so if there are mistakes you can blame showrunners for making me too nervous to keep watching <3
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!OC.
Summary: Their last coffee date before finally getting back to the office, he’s bored and wants to find out what she’s been working on. 
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: swearing, spencer is an ass™
Parts: Pt1, Pt2
Let me stress, this is not Maeve from the show, but my own Maeve just named the same to send Spencer into hell whenever he thinks about it.
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They’re getting close to the end of his probationary period now, and the thought of getting back to the office, and back to catching psychos was intoxicating.
Sure, she enjoyed his lectures, but not nearly enough to deal with him for longer than she had to.
There’s only one of his lectures left, and yet she still finds herself completing the last assignment he gave just like all the rest. It’s due today and mostly completed, but she just wanted to tweak a few things and add some more references. Working quietly next to him in the campus cafe as always.
He’s realised before, but now that his time was coming to a close, he was properly aware of the fact that she was always working. On all their little coffee dates - he refuses to call them that, and she only does it to piss him off - between their lectures, she’s always writing.
So far that’s been perfect, because he didn’t want to talk to her unless absolutely necessary, neither did she. The two of them avoid conversation like the plague and have silent coffee dates in his breaks.
However, he has no marking left, and finished his book, he is bored and wants to annoy her.
A quick text told him that it’s paid leave for her, which he didn’t know until now but makes the fact that she actually put up with him make sense, and means that she isn’t going over casework. He’s dying to know what it is.
When he sends her off for another round of coffee, he barely even waits for her to turn the corner towards the till to reach out and snatches the page she had been writing on.
Surprise turns him cold to find that it’s his work, set in the lectures that he expected his students to complete. Not only that, but he recognises the writing style, and she had been giving in work as someone called ‘Maisie’, lying about who she is.
Of all the people attending his lecture, he certainly didn’t expect her to do the work, much less under a different name.
Especially when the writing is so.. Good.
Maeve finally came back, sitting down and sliding his coffee across to him, not even batting an eye that he had her work in his hands. Sipping her coffee and feeling the immediate bitter tang of caffeine. Setting her own mug down and shrugging at his questioning tone.
“You’re completing the work I set?”
“Yeah.”
Part of him wondered if she would try to lie, wanting to determine what he could get from profiling her if she did. Expectedly, however, expected her to tell the truth, it’s definitely on brand for her. Suck up.
“Why?”
“I’m not allowed casework when I’m with you, in case you try to involve yourself.” Glaring at him, considering they had proved Emily right by inserting himself uninvited into her work the minute he got bored and she turned her back. Cons of working with profilers, he supposes. “I needed something to do or I would’ve gone crazy. Besides, I felt like you’d want someone completing the work because they enjoy the lecture, not because they think you’re pretty.”
He stared at her for a moment, really using all 187 points of his IQ to take in what she said, then shook his head. Placing the sheet back on the pile and picking up his coffee.
“My students don’t find me attractive.”
Honestly, he’s a little offended by the way she scoffed at him.
“The room is 80% women, they don’t even pay attention half the time, they just stare at you and your hands.” His hands? Now it just feels like she’s projecting, but she doesn’t stop talking yet. “One of them didn’t even complete your last assignment. She just handed in an A4 piece of paper with her number on, it was titled ‘Call Me’.”
He remembers, and he didn’t even look at it long enough to remember the number. The past minute of conversation feels like it shouldn’t be real. Blinking softly in confusion and trying to subtly glancing down from her to his hands and then back again.
Deciding to just hum softly, as if it wasn’t actually something new to him. Picking up his coffee to finally take a sip, irritatingly perfect - God he wished she didn’t try so hard.
“And you?”
“Me?”
“You’re a woman.”
Lifting her head, the look on her face was a picture. Feeling that, had he spoken in Dutch, he probably would’ve gotten the exact same facial expression.
“Am.. I supposed to congratulate you for correctly identifying that I’m a woman?”
He scowled over at her, and that’s a lot better. Their little coffee dates over the last 30 days had been spent mostly silent aside from snide comments and scowls, she wasn’t used to all this conversation from him. So getting him back to scowling again felt like progress.
Until he leant in, a smug grin settling on her face again that she was quickly coming to hate.
“No. But~ surely, if you’ve noticed them finding me attractive, doesn’t that mean you think I’m pretty as well? Hm, little assistant?”
Thankfully, she doesn’t even miss a beat.
“I’d rather make out with a pencil sharpener than you, Doctor Reid.”
Spencer couldn’t help the scowl on his face, even though he was still very smug on the inside. She so gets off on calling him that.
But she got up, and that startled him slightly, watching as she started to pack away her work into her bag. Eyes darting to his, meeting his scowl with a smug grin of her own for managing to get back at him again. Hoping, desperately, that he doesn’t notice that she didn’t actually answer his question.
“Your last lecture is starting soon, hurry up.”
Of course she thinks he’s pretty, but that doesn’t mean she likes him. And she certainly isn’t going to admit it to his face.
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saphronethaleph · 3 days
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Niman, the Way of the Rancor
Jango muttered a curse, closing his commlink.
You just couldn’t get the informants these days. Jango had bribed people in the Kaminoan facility to be informed if anyone showed up asking after him, but he hadn’t managed to get them to realize that the arrival of a starship not long after he’d returned from Coruscant might be important.
And now he’d only found out that a Jedi was present when they’d actually asked to see the template for the clones.
“Boba,” he said. “We might have an unexpected guest. And we might need to leave – soon.”
“Got it, dad,” his son replied. “Now?”
“No, the Jedi’s coming this way,” Jango replied. “I’ll try and trick them, then we leave as soon as they’re not here. Is all my armour hidden?”
The attendance chime went, and Jango rolled his head back and forth slightly as Boba went to answer it.
“Boba?” he heard Taun We ask. “Is your father here?”
“Don’t worry about little old me,” a calm voice added. “Just here to visit.”
“May we see him?” Taun We added.
“...sure,” Boba said, after several seconds of silence. “Uh. Dad! Taun We’s here!”
Jango moved around the corner of the apartment, to look at the visiting Jedi, and nearly swallowed his tongue.
There was a kriffing Rancor standing behind Taun We. A Rancor wearing a utility belt, attached to which were two lightsabers – one about the size of a small claw, the other big enough that Taun We could have used it as a neck splint.
“Welcome back, Jango,” Taun We said. “Was your trip productive?”
Jango blinked several times.
“...why is there a Rancor behind you?” he asked.
“Hello,” the Rancor said, in that same calm voice. “My name is Knight Tosh. Can I come in?”
Jango was still staring.
“Isn’t it ‘may’?” Boba asked, in the tones of a child who was trying to notice something he could process.
“I’m not sure how big the hallway is,” Tosh explained. “If there’s a problem with my fitting in, that’s fine, I can sit out here and we can talk.”
Putting actions to words, she sat down.
Jango wasn’t sure exactly how he’d decided that the Rancor was a ‘she’, but he supposed they probably did have genders.
“...you’re a Rancor?” he said, still trying to get past that essential point.
“Yes,” Tosh agreed. “A proud daughter of Dathomir. I’m told I’m named for my grandmother, who was the first of us to learn to read and write.”
She steepled the fingers on her enormous clawed hands.
“Aide We,” she said, a little more formally. “I must inform you that I’m here for a number of reasons, not just one. You see, I’ve been looking into a recent assassination attempt on that nice Senator Amidala.”
“Oh, goodness!” Taun We said. “That is most worrying.”
“It is,” Tosh agreed, with a surprisingly kindly smile given that it was a Rancor smiling, something that Jango’s brain kept circling around to. “The assassin is dead, which is fortunate, and I believe that Jango here did us the favour of eliminating her. So I wanted to thank him personally, and also ask if he had any idea why that might have happened… why he might have been hired to kill that particular shapeshifter, that is.”
Then she frowned. “Oh – but where are my manners? We should really start with how it is that you came to be the template for the clone army! It must be a fascinating story. I assume your young son there is involved, somehow?”
“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said, taking the mug from Cliegg Lars. “I think that’ll be enough for us for now.”
“Not a problem,” Cliegg replied. “You and the other Jedi are the one who rescued Anakin from his old life, that’d be enough to make you kin here, even before all you’ve done for us so far.”
“We do our best,” Obi-Wan smiled, taking a sip of the drink. “Very nice. Thank you again, Cliegg.”
“I don’t know what I expected,” Anakin admitted. “I never really imagined what it would be like to have my mom actually marry someone, but… I think he’s nice.”
“It’s not something the Jedi have much experience with,” Obi-Wan said. “I’m just as lost as you are, Anakin.”
“Are you sure this is a good place to hide out, Obi-Wan? Ani?” Padme asked.
She frowned, and waved her hand. “I don’t mean… that it’s a bad idea to be here. We’ve only been here two days and we’ve already rescued your mother, Ani. But if someone comes looking for us… we’re hiding with the only relatives Anakin has in the entire galaxy.”
“I’m quite sure that nobody will find us,” Obi-Wan replied.
“Yeah, I agree with Master Kenobi,” Anakin nodded. “If I was looking for where a Jedi was hiding, I’d never even think of looking for their family. Jedi just don’t think about family. It’s not something we do.”
“But the people who are trying to hunt me down… they do think about family, don’t they?” Padme said. “Or they might, anyway…”
“In which case, fortunately, we are in a very large desert,” Obi-Wan said. “Mos Espa would have been a suitable enough place to hide out, but now we’re off in the desert. A planet is a very big place to hide someone, Senator – and if there’s anyone in the galaxy who wouldn’t try to betray us, it’s Anakin’s close family. Even before we rescued his mother.”
Padme looked conflicted.
“I suppose you’re right,” she said. “I just worry that we’re too easy to find here. I don’t know how rational that is, but the extent of the resources available to our enemies…”
“Where would you have preferred?” Obi-Wan asked. “If this isn’t where you’d have thought to hide, where would you have hidden?”
“I’d have gone to Naboo,” Padme replied. “Relatives of my family have a house up in the lakes, in the mountains. It’s wonderful and calm and nobody ever goes there.”
“Actually, I like the sound of that, Master,” Anakin said. “Are you sure we can’t change plans and go there, now? There’s a lake there.”
“We brought a lake with us, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied, tossing his head to indicate the beaten-up old freighter they’d used to get to Tatooine. “Or a large swimming pool, at least.”
Beru Lars chuckled.
“You three are terrible at this,” she said, from over in the corner. “We’re grateful for your arrival, but… none of you know the first thing about hiding.”
“We don’t?” Anakin asked. “What do you mean?”
“ Tatooine is a planet with slavery, which means a planet with crime,” Beru told them. “If you’re going into hiding, you want to get a good balance between the support network and being impossible to trace back to your owners.”
“Of course,” Padme murmured. “It’s a shame the Republic hasn’t been able to do anything about the slavery out here.”
“That’s your department, isn’t it” Beru asked. “With your being a senator, that is.”
“Padme’s brought it up in the Senate a few times,” Anakin said, defending her. “It’s never gone far, though.”
“Part of the problem is that the Republic doesn’t have the ability to do much about it,” Padme admitted. “We have a navy, but no real army – and bombarding Tatooine to help end slavery seems like a bad idea.”
Beru inclined her head.
“That’s fair,” she conceded. “It’s easy enough to forget that, out here. And I’d bet it seems hard to remember there are people in chains, when you’re on glittering Coruscant.”
“We could be doing more than we are,” Padme allowed. “Once this is over, I’ll see what I can do.”
Darth Tyrannus looked at Jango, his gaze calm. Calm, in the way that the ground was calm, under a descending meteor.
He was extremely unimpressed.
“You told her everything?” he asked, his fingers drumming on his belt next to the handle of his lightsaber.
“Not everything, but… more than I think I should have,” Jango replied, somewhat embarrassed. “You weren’t there. It was… I’d like to see you concentrate on what your story is when there’s a Rancor staring at you. Complimenting you. Offering you tips on how to make tea.”
He shook his head. “Saying that she could smell Coruscant on your clothes. And that’s before the fact that she’s a Jedi.”
Dooku sniffed.
“I think that if I were confronted with a Rancor, and it pulled out a lightsaber, I would be relieved,” he said.
There was a sort of soft thump behind him, and Jango glanced up before going pale and holding up his hands.
“Good afternoon,” a pleasant voice said. “Dooku, it’s nice to meet you at last. Should I call you Count? Or do you prefer the name Darth Tyrannus?”
Dooku knew what he was going to see behind him.
He knew it.
But he had to turn around and look anyway, and so he did.
“Tosh,” he said, and this time he did take his lightsaber off his belt – though he didn’t light it. “How did you get here?”
“A tracking beacon, of course,” Tosh replied. “Well, actually two, one of them was in the fidget spinner I gave young Boba, but I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed so I stuck one to Mr. Fett’s ship as well. I must say, I do like the climate here. Pleasantly dry.”
She smiled, in a way that was somehow disarming until you refocused and remembered what the smile was attached to. “You know, we’re actually somewhat related! In the Jedi sense, at least. I’m not sure how you’ve kept up with master-student relationships in the Temple since you left, but that nice dear Yoda trained me for a few years.”
Dooku did his very best to contain a nervous swallow.
“I have surpassed my old Master,” he said. “I doubt even he could defeat me now.”
“Oh, that’s quite possible,” Tosh agreed, nodding. “Yoda’s always been sentimental, you know. He finds it so hard to fight seriously. It’s not something I’d call a character flaw, but it is what it is.”
She shrugged. “I’d very much appreciate it if we didn’t have to fight today, you know. Since I know you’re a Sith, what about if you give me information on your Master? I know that betrayal is the kind of thing the Sith like to do, and that way we don’t have to fight.”
Dooku evaluated his options.
All it would take for his plans to hold together would be for him to be confident in his ability to defeat this Jedi Knight. This mere… Jedi Knight.
This mere… Rancor… Jedi Knight…
The other option was looking appealing. It was difficult to deny that.
“It’s hard to believe,” Mace Windu admitted, leaning back in his chair.
It was a common posture in the Jedi Council whenever this particular Knight was reporting to them, and Mace felt a most un-Jedi-like pang of jealousy for Yarael Poof. Long-necked and calm, the Quermian Master was the only one able to look Tosh in the eye without either leaning back or standing up.
“Hmm,” Yoda mused. “Mistaken you are not, I assume?”
“Being mistaken is always a possibility, Master,” Tosh answered. “But the plan that Dooku told me does seem to make a good deal of sense… it’s one of those plans where the Sith would win no matter which side of the war was triumphant.”
She spread her massive hands. “It could all be a lie… but it does explain a few things, which leads me to think it might be true. I’d recommend at least testing it.”
“A good approach,” Ki-Adi-Mundi said, to nods from Plo Koon and Sasee Tiin.
“It ties into what Master Gallia has been discovering recently as well,” the latter said. “The Trade Federation’s involvement in this is unsurprising, but the Techno Union, Intergalactic Bank Clan… again, investigation is needed.”
A ripple of agreement ran around the Council.
“And what of the clone army?” Yoda asked. “Commissioned by us, the Kaminoans were told.”
“Oh, I thought the best thing to do was to send them to make sure that nice Senator Amidala was safe,” Tosh replied, with a pleasant smile.
Windu frowned, then looked over at Yoda.
“When was the last time we got an update from Kenobi and Skywalker?” he asked.
“It’s been… a while,” Yarael Poof said, doing his neck exercises. “Last contact was shortly after they reached Tatooine. They were going to avoid broadcasting to make sure they weren’t tracked down.”
Mace Windu activated a holocommunicator.
“Old Folks Home to Guiding Light,” he said. “Knight Kenobi. What is your situation?”
“Guiding Light copies,” a hazy image of Obi-Wan Kenobi replied. “Master Windu, I think we just liberated Tatooine by accident.”
“By accident?” Ki-Adi-Mundi replied. “How exactly did you-”
He stopped, remembering the missions that Kenobi and his Padawan had been on.
“Never mind, carry on,” he requested. “What happened?”
“Someone sent us an army,” Obi-Wan said. “We didn’t actually order them to do anything, but Senator Amidala gave some speeches and I think things sort of escalated from there…”
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fantomefawn · 2 days
Text
Barely Tolerable
The harringrove pride and prejudice au begins
So here we go…. The pride and prejudice au that I’ve been working on. I initially planned on finishing the whole thing before posting but honestly with. Urn out I just lost momentum. I’m hoping just having it out there will help me gain motivation again….
It’ll be on AO3 as well.
If you like it thanks. If you don’t… oh well? I’m not writing it for you. I’m writing it because I have an unhealthy obsession with both p&p and Harringrove lmfao. It is ABO just a heads up.
That being said…. Here we go…
Barely Tolerable
Chapter 1: Gasp
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single Alpha in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a mate.
Even though little can be known about the feelings or actual views of such an Alpha when they have entered a new neighborhood, this concept is fixed so firmly in the minds of the surrounding families the Alpha in question is often considered the rightful property of someone and their omegan children or even of a more than hopeful Beta.
~
Mrs. Harrington considered herself very capable and somewhat sly and when it came to matters involving manipulating her husband, she generally refused to pull her children in on the task. However, this current undertaking was causing her undue stress and while she would rather not have to use her children as a means to an end for it, she would eventually let them in on her plans if she must.
“My Dear,” she began her tone was syrupy and gentle, as her hand inched toward her husband’s arm to gain his attentions, “have you heard that Cherry Lane has been rented out finally?”
There was a deep sigh that filled the whole of the room.
“No, Dearest. I hadn’t heard.” He found his eyes wandering from his book toward the ceiling. He wished more often than not he had married someone perhaps less beautiful and less manipulative and perhaps someone who could not still use their wiles after five nearly grown children together. This was not his lot in life however and that meant he was left currently trying in vain to avoid her eyes. The Omegan wiles were still there even if they were aging and annoyed him just as often as they worked.
“Well it has. Mrs. Henderson came to visit me today and she told me all about it!”
There was not even a sigh in response this time. Mrs. Harrington was a person who found silence abrasive and suffocating, and she especially couldn’t stand it when her husband was helping create it. She didn’t care much that they were in his study where he sought refuge from any and all noise, excepting of course his favorite child.
His attempts at a silent avoidant retreat would not work, she would not be out done in stubbornness.
“Don’t you want to know by who?” His wife’s impatience would only cause him misery if he allowed it to grow. He and his book were resigned to their fate of being parted. This resignation yielded yet another sigh.
“Not particularly,” he looked at her finally a tired slope to his body reflecting he had conceded in this battle, “However it seems you want to tell me, and I have no objections to hearing you.”
It was only half a lie.
She rubbed at his hand and gave him a pretty smile as a reward for giving in to her so quickly and she took the invitation for what it was.
“Mrs. Henderson told me that it is being rented by a young Alpha of a large fortune from west of Indiana. She came down on Monday to tour the place and she fell in love with it. She came to agreement with Mr. Clark immediately and she will move in just before Michaelmas. Her servants will be here by the end of next week to get things in order.”
“What is her name?”
“Cunningham.” She traced over his hair, happily indulging him in physical affections for being so willing to keep interest.
“Is she married or single?” She gave him a flat look, obviously think that was a dumb question.
“Single of course! A single Alpha of good wealth! Four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our children.” She was preening like a peacock over her assumed good fortune for the future of her children. Her husband though enjoying her attentions had no problem with ending that for her right then and there. He straightened and with firm eye contact and raised brows asked her a question.
“How so? How can this possibly affect them?” It was her turn to be exasperated by her mate and she huffed out a breathe to let him know how he’d displeased her.
“Robert, must you be so tiresome? I know you are aware that I mean she should marry one of them.” He did live to vex her. It was one of his favorite pastimes even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. He took great pleasure in mocking nearly everyone though, so it wasn’t just her that was his target. She was however one of his most favored.
“Oh! So that’s her reasoning for moving here then? She is looking for her mate?” He lived for the sound of her deep aggravated outbursts.
“It is very likely for her to fall in love with one of them! I insist that you go to meet and introduce yourself to her when she arrives. It is only proper.” Her face was set sternly but he could very rarely take her seriously as he did view her an exceedingly silly woman.
“I don’t see a reason for it honestly. You and the kids can go or better, yet you can send them by themselves since it might save Ms. Cunningham the devastation of falling for your beauty. Since you are just as lovely as any of our children, she might find she likes you best.” Natalie Harrington let herself be flattered even if she was aware he was doing just that, flattering her.
She slid on to his lap firmly if only to further help convince him.
“My darling Husband, you flatter me. While I have had the absolute pleasure of having all my share of beauty, I don’t pretend it’s still in the realm of extraordinary. When an Omega has five grown omegan children to think of, its best to divorce oneself from so much vanity.” While Robert agreed with her there, he did find the irony in it, since she most certainly had not divorced herself from any vanity over the years. He was begrudging in acknowledgement that even as she got older, he was lucky and her looks truly hadn’t diminished very much. She still cut a rather elegant looking figure and face.
“Natalie, in those cases I assure you the omega doesn’t have much beauty to begin with.” She played with the fabric at his sleeves and pursed her lips.
“Robert you really do need to go see Ms. Cunningham when she comes into town. It’s only right.”
“It is truly more than I intend to do I assure you.”
“Consider your kids, please. Consider what a mating like it would be like for them and what it would mean for the rest of the family. Sir James Hopper and Lady Joyce Hopper are determined to go just for that fact alone. You know they never seek out any newcomers. You have to go. You know we can’t visit her if you haven’t. Imagine the scandal. You would ruin your children. What if I was silly enough to do as you said?”
“You are certainly attentive to your cause. You know I’m sure Ms. Cunningham will be very pleased to see you, in fact how about I send you with a letter? Just a few lines assuring her that she has my heartfelt and glad consent for her to marry any of my children if she wishes. Though you know I have to put in a good word for my little Steve.” She grew vexed at his teasing especially when Steve was brought up.
“You’ll do no such thing. Steve isn’t a bit better than any of the others. He is not nearly and beautiful as Robin or even half as good humored as Angela is and yet for some reason you are always giving him the preference.” Robert was a bit miffed at that.
Steven was his favorite, and he wasn’t shy about his preference, and while perhaps at his birth he’d been a bit disappointed by his not being an Alpha after his first born hadn’t been born an heir, he found very quickly his heart was owned by him. The child of his very soul. Steven was a strangely perfect mix of five separate people who he held in high esteem for one thing or another. It was strange to him his wife held no preference when two of those people were his wife’s own parents, her very self-seen in his looks. He was not afraid to admit the likeness Steve held to his own Alpha mother; his own favored parent really made him immeasurably soft toward his second child.
“None of the others have much to recommend them, except for perhaps Robin. The rest are silly, vain and ignorant like other omegas. Stevie has a quickness and sense of humor about him that none of the others possess.” She shook her head in irritation.
“How can you abuse your children like that? You find too much joy in irritating me.” He certainly couldn’t deny that.
“You cannot possibly comprehend how much you make me suffer.”
“I hope you find a way to get over it, my dear, and that you live to see at least twenty young Alphas of wealth come into the neighborhood.”
“I certainly don’t know why you would wish that since you won’t visit them.”
“Oh, no need to worry about that. If we suddenly get an influx of twenty Alphas, I will visit every single one. ”
Mr. Harrington was a strange mixture of quick parts, sarcastic almost caustic humor, reserve and mercurial temperament that even twenty-three years later into their marriage Natalie still couldn’t understand him much of the time. She was less difficult to understand, she was a cold beauty, and while she wasn’t perhaps as smart as her husband, she was still a fierce thing to behold with an uncertain temper. She often considered herself nervous, which she put down to the the fact that at this juncture in her life, all she could think about was getting her children all married off. Any reprieve to be found was in having visits with her friends and gossip. She was known for having a keen mind and ability for getting information.
Mrs. Harrington would not put it past her husband to try and find a way out of this meeting, but she was determined to convince him to be out their door and marching toward Cherry Lane as quick as possible.
~
The sound of his younger sister’s piano filled Steven Harrington’s ears as he was closing in on his house nearing the end of the current chapter in the novel he was currently reading. The walk had been perfect, warm, breezy and sun-dappled like a painting. He put his bookmark, a wide faded piece of embroidered linen, in it and closed the book as he was rounded the corner, servants were doing the laundry which he knew would smell like sunshine later. He rubbed his thumb across the cover of his book satisfied with where his story currently was and as he came up the set stairs at one of the entrances to his home, he paused staring through the window in amusement as he saw and heard his parents squabbling. He couldn’t tell what they were saying but he could hear Robin yelling out chastisements toward their youngest two siblings in the background which was just barely louder than their aggressive giggling. Though there was a year between them they were so intensely bonded like that of a person and their shadow they were often referenced as twins. Steve shook his head and crossed the threshold into his home and before he could get closer to another set of stairs to go to his room where he intended to grab some extra paper for a letter, he came across his giggling youngest siblings with their bodies pressed near the entrance to their father’s study, the door only just ajar, listening in on their parents.
He immediately grasped at the back of clothes and tugged to get their attention,
“Angie, Dustin what have I told you about listening at the door?” Steve was incensed as the two kept up their quiet but undoubtedly giddy behavior.
Angela scoffed briefly at him and swatted back at his hand before cheerfully responding,
“Who cares about that Stevie? Someone, an Alpha, has finally rented Cherry Lane!”
Dustin who was barely older than Angela and more like her shadow immediately piped in,
“Ms. Cunningham from the West, she has 5,000 a year!” Steve let go of Angela’s skirt in shock.
“Really?” Steve couldn’t help himself as tried to look over the two of them to see his parents talking. The pair quietly squealing in unison that she was single made him give way back into an amused smirk.
“Who’s single?”
Steven grinned down at Robin who had come around the corner at his side before turning his face back toward his parents and whispering to her,
“A Ms. Cunningham apparently.” Steve was annoyed and amused in equal measure as Dustin shushed him and rolled his eyes at Robin who gave him a look of commiseration.
“Mr. Harrington, you must go and visit her. Welcome her into the neighborhood.”
The children all watched as their father seemed to move in near circles around his wife whilst asking her,
“How can it possibly affect them if I go and visit Ms. Cunningham?” They all heard rather than see their mother stamping her foot.
“How can you possibly be so tiresome and annoying? I’m hoping she might marry one of them. I sincerely doubt I could have been all that much clearer about it especially since this isn’t the first conversation, we are having about this.” Mr. Harrington didn’t even make direct eye contact with his wife, but he did arch his brow in her direction.
“Oh! So that is her design in moving here?” The sarcasm was a viscous poison as it dripped from his mouth. As he made his way toward the other door to his office to leave his wife huffed and pursed her lips making haste to follow behind him.
“You have to go as soon as possible to introduce yourself!” Her urging was louder still as their father opened the door more swiftly and came across all but one of his children. He was exasperated but still managed a fairly entertained expression as he made eye contact with Steve.
“Goodness. So many people.” He tutted as he made his way into one of the sitting rooms his remaining child was practicing her piano in with a book, he would no doubt have no opportunity to read as the rest of his offspring and wife moved in behind him. Before he could manage to sit down in a chair his wife and his two youngest were talking over each other in their haste to convince him he needed to introduce himself and earning them the acquaintanceship of Ms. Cunningham.
“Robert Harrington, you know good and well we cannot visit if you haven’t!”
“Papa! Are you listening? You never listen!”
“Please Papa!”
“As soon as possible Robert, I mean it!”
Dustin who was simply overcome with excitement over the prospects of what could happen with this new mysterious outcome spoke directly to his mother.
“Mama, its fine even if he doesn’t visit her right? I heard you say that Mrs. Henderson promised to introduce us at the next party!” Natalie gave him a rather severe stink eye.
“I sincerely doubt Mrs. Henderson will do any such thing. She has some omega nephews of her own to concern herself with. She’s selfish, hypocritical and uncharitable,” Mrs. Harrington’s pretty face set itself into a sneer, “I have no good opinion of her. I need you all to remember that there are very few Alphas of large fortune in this world and more than plenty of pretty omegas who deserve them.”
“Well, I can’t say I have a better opinion of her,” Robert’s face was flat as he gazed into his wife’s eyes, “But i’m glad you won't depend on her uncharitable heart and selfish ways to help you.” This was of course a mistake on his part and after moments pause shrieks erupted again.
“When is the next ball?” His eyes were made contact with Angela but before she could answer Dustin had beaten her to it,
“In Two weeks!”
“See Robert! That isn’t enough time! Mrs. Henderson won’t be back until the day before. She can’t possibly introduce us when she won't have met her either.” This statement drew half of his family back into a tizzy, the loudest among them his youngest daughter and son and his very own wife.
Robert Harrington sighed deeply as he sat down heavily in his chair, all of the commotion had made his middle child Nancy finally pull herself away from the black and white keys in bewilderment. He watched and his favored eldest children sat calmly with cheerful expressions on their faces on the couch.
“My Dear, I think you can have the advantage over your friend and maybe you can introduce Ms. Cunningham to her.” Natalie threw her head back with exhaled frustration.
“Tell me how I am to do that when you I have not been aquatinted with Ms. Cunningham and you will not go visit her to make the acquaintance?”
“To be sure two weeks isn’t much time I grant you. You can’t truly the makings of an Alpha in just two weeks. Still, it will have to do,” he gave a insincerely sheepish grin toward his wife, “ Mrs. Henderson and her nephews simply must have their chance and given that she will take it as a kindness if you decline her the introduction I will simply have to offer it up myself.”
His children merely stared at him, while his wife wiped her hands in agitation and exasperation down her face.
“Nonsense. All you do is speak such nonsense.”
“Now what could you possibly mean by that,” his cheeky grin was sure to drive his wife insane as she was clearly at her wits end, “Do you consider it stressful to be the one introducing others? I don’t think I can agree with you there.” Natalie lifted her hands and choked the air in front of her in frustration and her husband triumphed in his teasing of her just grinned.
“I am sick of talking about Ms. Cunningham,” his wife declared firmly, so tender in her vexation, the topic having thoroughly drained her.
“Well, that will make an acquaintanceship very awkward, Natalie I wish you’d told me that earlier.” The glare in his direction was caustic and fiery and he basked in it.
“What acquaintanceship? You won’t go and visit her!”
“Well, there is no need for me to go and visit Ms. Cunningham, since I already have.” Excited gasps filled the room as his sillier children starting flitting and dancing around the room in joy. Nancy and his Wife were in total confusion. Robin was excited but remained composed and his favorite child Steve was laughing at everything going on.
“Robert, I swear you have no compassion for my nerves! Why do you insist on teasing me at every turn?”
“No my dearest, you are incorrect, I am very fond of those nerves of yours. They have been my nearest and dearest friends these last twenty years!” Steve barked out a laugh as Angela admonished her father for speaking in such a way to her preferred parent.
“Seriously Robert… is she likable?” His wife had an eager look on her face before his youngest darted forward swishing her skirts as she danced toward him.
“Is she handsome Papa?”
“Who?” Nancy was finally trying to demand knowledge of what everyone around them was speaking of.
Angela made her way back to Dustin and grasped his hands, “Oh I am sure she is going to be breathtakingly beautiful.” Dustin squeezed her hands back as he let out a giddy laugh himself as his sister then insisted on continuing her twirling.
“Who?”
“At 5,000 a year it wouldn’t matter if she had warts and a leer.” Steve felt his mother’s reprimanding glare on him for his commentary before she crossed further into the room and closer to his father.
“Who has warts?”
“I will give my most welcome consent for her to marry any of my children should she choose them.” He smiled in sweet way at all his family.
Angela sat on the floor directly in front of him and in a surprisingly earnest way asked him, “So will she come to the next ball, Papa?” Robert looked at his youngest taking in her eager hope and hummed first in response.
Mr. Harrington nodded as if in thought and let the anticipation rise in the room before he graced them with an answer.
“I do believe she will be, yes.” In an instant there was excited shrieking. Robin shook her head at the silliness of of the youngest among them while Steven laughed as he got more comfortable on the couch before turning and leaning his chin on the back to watch as Dustin and Angela spun Robin around in dizzying circles as they attempted to bargain for things to borrow and her help for the ball. Robin was being far too indulgent with them, but it certainly provided Steve entertainment. It surprised him that it was his mother that interrupted their swinging of their elder sister.
“Oh Angela, sweetheart I know you are the youngest but don’t worry! I am sure Ms. Cunningham will dance with you.” Natalie was all smiles for one of her favored children.
Angela was all unearned pride as she answered, “I am not in the least bit concerned. I may be the youngest, but I am the best of us all.” Dustin was the only one who took true offense. Steven and Robin just rolled their eyes just to their sister’s antics.
“Will someone tell me what we are all talking about?” Mrs. Harrington was all exasperation toward Nancy as she ended the kiss with her husband to chastise her.
“Honestly Nancy, you ought to pay more attention.” Nancy looked apoplectic. Steve sighed and gestured for her to sit down beside him and the now lightheaded Robin. He grasped a pair of shoes and embroidery thread laid across the table where he’d abandoned them earlier and and he prepared to tell Nancy everything she’d missed as he started to sew the thread into the half-finished design.
“I’ll fill you in, just come sit down.”
Robert Harrington stared at his son stitching evenly into the shoes as Nancy peppered him with questions before he even had gotten a chance to speak, and his heart ached with fondness.
“I hope Ms. Cunningham likes them, Steve.”
His son’s response was a radiant smile beaming his way before he finally cut Nancy’s off.
~
“Please, please please,” the pleading was annoying him greatly, “Please, Steve you promised! Please teach us how to make love potions. The ball is two weeks, you have to help us!” Robin was snickering at him from where she sat watching as the youngest two poked and prodded at him. The traitor.
Right now, he had no clue because she was his favorite. He was quickly reminded when all of sudden the superior voice of their middle sibling rose to attention in their ears, and he had someone to look at in commiseration.
“You shouldn’t encourage such things Steven. It’s all silliness and no self respecting person would make a love potion. It isn’t even real.”
“First off, I wouldn’t teach them how to make a love potions, I never promised that. I wouldn’t know how. That would probably be Mama given how much she wants us all married off as quickly as possible. Secondly, who made you the authority of what’s real or not, Nance? Please do try to remember they are just kids, and they are allowed to have fun. I’d teach them little charms just like Mama taught me and Robin when we were little kids. It’s all in good fun. You know having some of it doesn’t mean you can’t be a self-respecting person. I know that no one would accuse you of testing out that particular hypothesis, but I assure you that I have.”
Normally Steve tried his best to deal with Nancy’s self-righteousness with as much grace as he was able, but she did love to make it difficult for him. Robin was much better tempered with her even if Steven didn’t really lose his temper with her too often.
Nancy pursed her lips, a fire rising in her at the slight but before she could bring herself to say something she was clenching her hands into fists at her elder brother’s eye roll and head shake. Her face reddened and everyone could sense the rage building in her bird like frame.
Robin gave him a look and surprisingly even the younger two were quiet, but they did tend to be in the rare moments Steve gave one of them a true dressing down, he wished that quality would last forever. It was rare for anyone to be scolded by him since he was generally so easy going, cheerful, and always ready for a laugh. He took more after his father with his sarcastic quick quips and teasing.
Nancy was far more likely to take someone to task even if it didn’t carry much weight.
Nancy was not a person who took criticism well, but she happy to often be the one to dole it out as well as bits of commentary she felt showed off how ‘wise’ she was. She was a someone who felt she was always right, an authority of most subjects and was bull headed enough to never listen to anyone else or take another’s opinion into consideration. She was frightfully jealous and while she strived to be seen as ingenious, she often fell short. She was easily slighted and superior with a need to command attention for all the things she felt she was accomplished in. While she would deny it profusely, she desired to be the center of attention. She was lacking in self-awareness and common sense in many regards.
Steve often felt she was the living embodiment of a misguided lecture.
While he could appreciate her dedication in all her chosen hobbies he struggled with her constant need to sermonize at everyone and how inappropriate she could be with it.
He begged the universe to have patience with her, a patience that shouldn’t even be difficult given she wasn’t even the sibling that drove him the craziest. Angela held that crown steadily.
Steve felt the weight of Robin’s eyes on him and sighed and tried his best to remember that Nancy was still a kid and for all her faults he did love her even if he perhaps didn’t always like her.
“I’m sorry Nancy, why don’t you come in and join in? I’m sure you’d enjoy it if you gave it all a chance. It’s just silly fun. It isn’t anything serious.”
“Are you serious?” She dipped her head and looked him both brows raised in incredulous derision. The silence wrung out as Steve counted to ten mentally, Robin’s eyes begging him to not to escalate this.
He said nothing.
“I have better things to do. Reading for instance. Someone in this family has to have decent character and you’ve all left that job solely to me.” She was swift in her exit her nose in the air.
Steven shook his head getting rid of the invisible ichor her threadbare morality left in the air.
“Okay! Go outside and grab some pansies,” Steve prodded Angela and Dustin to unfurl from where they leaned into his sides, “come on let’s get going. I’ll tell you your fortune, but I won't wait around to do it forever.” His siblings were giggling as the ran to leave for the garden.
Robin stared at him with amusement, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” He furrowed his brow for only a second before yelling at the kids, “Bring back some apples as well!”
They shouted an affirmative.
“They are going to be convinced you’re telling them the truth.” Steve shrugged at his older sister.
“Why can’t things just be fun?”
Robin’s expression was heavy and flat at it settled on his face.
“Mama named me Robin because of these silly little charms and superstitions.”
“Ah, yes,” Steven straightened up and cleared his throat before taking on a mocking falsetto, “A robin singing on the sill of a window predicts happiness in love and one who builds a nest near your home means good luck for anyone who lives there! Well, my dears I knew I had to name you Robin for those things happened right before I found myself pregnant with you.”
Robin rolled her eyes and laughed.
“Now she hangs all her hopes and wishes on me, all because I’m a fortune come true apparently.”
“Maybe you are all her hopes and wishes come true Bobbin. You are her favorite, even more than Angie.” They both let the words sink into the air around them before shaking their heads.
“An alpha child. That would be all her wishes and hopes come true.” They said this in unison before cracking up.
“Stop all that laughing,” the twins came rounding the corner into the room, Angie clutching dirtied pansies in her hands and Dustin attempting to juggle apples in his arms, “This is serious business! It’s time to tell our futures.” Angela threw the flowers onto the tables and flounced onto the settee next to him.
Robin caught his eye and once more they were laughing. The dual shrieks did nothing to help them stop.
Eventually they calmed down and Steve in all his red-faced teary-eyed glory croaked out an,
“Alright! Alright! Choose one flower each and for your fortune come sit next to me so I can help you read it.”
Angela promptly shoved a yellow and red blossom into his face while the other two had fun choosing their from the bunch on the table.
Steve sputtered and jerked his head back as it nearly went into his mouth before sighing and taking it out of her hand. He touched each velvet petal carefully and counted each line on them and was actually a bit discomforted by the fortune he was to give his littlest sister. He never assumed to reach such things in the flower.
“Listen Angel Fish, remember it's all just a bit of fun,” he looked at her hesitating whilst she looked him in all eagerness, “When you read a fortune from a Pansy you look at their petals and you count the lines that lay on them.” He drew the flower closer to her so she could look as he tapped at the petals.
“Well Stevie, what do they mean? What is my fortune”
“You have five lines here,” he tapped gently at a slightly bedraggled flower petal, “there is trouble ahead but you will overcome it and this one next to it has eight lines so you will have a fickle sweetheart.” Angela’s face was screwed up in distaste.
“This one has four lines though and it means your wish will come true!” She looked at him like he was an idiot.
“Either you’re reading it wrong or Nancy is right and this stuff is dumb. How can my wish be coming true if I have to overcome something and my love will be fickle?”
Steve shrugged at her not sure what to tell her even as the whole thing made him feel a bit sour. He would not mention the other petal that held six lines indicating a surprise was in store.
“It’s just silly fun Angie, you aren’t supposed to take it seriously. Besides we still have to see what’s going on with the apple.” She nodded at him though she was not fully satisfied.
“Me next! Come on Ange, move over stop hogging Steve please,” Dustin was poking at his younger sister heartily until she finally relented and moved with a huff her blonde locks hitting Dustin in the face. Robin was just staring at Steve rather thoughtfully having cottoned on to his discomfort.
Dustin was much gentler in his handling of the pink blossom in his hand, and he moved into his brother snuggling into his much taller frame leaning his head into arm to look at the lines with him.
“Okay, Dust Bunny let's take a look,” he hummed as he counted all the lines and was just as shocked by his little brother's fortune as he had been for his little sisters, “Wow, Dustin! Yours is interesting as well. Every single petal has 9 lines running through it. That means you’ll go over water to get married and a bunch of them have the longest line running smack dab in the center. Make sure when you announce your engagement you do it on a Sunday.”
Dustin pulled back from his brother and with it his flower and just stared at it in contentment.
“A Sunday.” Dustin was so serious and very nearly reverent when he said it that Steve and Robin had a hard time not laughing but somehow managed to keep it to a smile.
Robin got up and twirled own blue blossom against his nose eliciting a laugh front he tickle it caused. He gently grasped the blossom and as carefully as he did with his other siblings counted their lines.
“My, my, my… I am just ever so shocked Robin. Four lines,” he looked at her mouth open in mock surprise, “Your wish is bound to come true.” Robin swatted at him laughing.
“Alright you smart Alec, what else?” Steve tickled her at her waist causing to her to laugh and flint away from him.
“Honestly Rob, most of your petals had 4 lines, you are just destined to be lucky in love I suppose.” A faux long-suffering sigh left him as he fluttered his eyelashes in mock envy.
“Hmm,” she gave him a screwed look before attacking him in her own tickle fit practically laying on him as he giggled and squirmed, “You said most, out with-it Stevie darling! Am I to marry a man with warts and no fortune? Will he be cursed to only speak in riddles? What am I to suffer in my marriage?”
The younger set were snuggled together like puppies laughing at their antics.
“Eight lines! You are cursed like our little sister your sweetheart will be fickle.” Robin let out a long-suffering sigh, and Steve wondered if he got that habit from her as she lay more firmly on him winding her thin arms around him.
“Well don’t tell Mama, all her hopes and dreams just dashed right there.” Steve snorted at her declaration.
“Steve it's your turn! Don’t you want to know your fortune.” Steve looked at the light purple flower that lay lone on the table and made a face.
“Ugh that would be so much work to get it.”
“Ah, it must be a changeling! Steve would never say something like that. Steven Harrington who walks all day and every day. A changeling child indeed.”
“I won't move Robin just to read my own fortune. Count out the lines for me one of you.”
He gripped Robin even tighter to make his point while Angela rolled her eyes and sat more firmly into her seat. Dustin was the only one with any true curiosity out of the two, so he was the one he grasped the left-over blossom in front of them.
“Six! Seven and four.” He hummed in acknowledgement.
“So, I too will have a wish come true, a surprise is on its way and my love will be will faithful.”
“Clearly,” Angela’s voice was resolute, “That was supposed to be my flower and that is very obviously my fortune.” Steve and Robin rolled their eyes but left it alone.
“Well, what about the apples?” He looked over at Dustin who was eyeing them hungrily.
“Perhaps Bobbin and I were just peckish.” He received twin looks of annoyance.
“Fine, fine. Take away all my fun. I want you to each take one of the apples and peel the skin off without any breaks. You want a nice long peel.” Robin had only sunk into her further and they were practically combined with little chance at separation. Angela and Dustin willingly untangled themselves and did as their brother instructed.
“Once you have the whole peel, I want you to take it with your right hand toss it over your left shoulder.” They gave each other skeptical looks at they continue peeling but did as they were told once finished, giggling as they tossed the long-wet curls over their shoulders, each landing with a soft noise that they pretended made them feel gross.
Steve and Robin, moving as though they were one being instead of two separate individuals, raised themselves together refusing to untangle, and took a look.
“Well, it’s a good thing you guys chose different colors since you did it at the same time. Which one of you had a pink apple?” Dustin perked up quickly at the question.
“Me! I wanted it to match my pansy!” He was up standing next to her eldest siblings in a split second his air matching that of a puppy trying to stay still for his owner.
“Good look on trying to figure that one out Steve. I cannot make heads or tails of what that’s supposed to look like.” Steve winced because Robin was right. It was not the shape of a letter.
“Dust Bunny, I am afraid your sweetheart is not solidified yet. That shape looks like a… tangle.” He slumped for a moment his hopefulness somewhat dashed before he perked back up.
“Maybe it means it’s a strong love! Because we will tie the knot,” Dustin nodded to himself emphatically, “Yes! That must be it. Steve, you’ve told us about invisible strings right, what if it's just proof, you’re right about all of it.”
“He’s right little Stevie, you have in fact told us all about invisible red strings of fate and how we all have these lovely, destined soulmates.”
“Oh, you make me sound so dumb and so much less practical than I really am,” Steve was laughing however unashamed that he was a dreamy as he was pragmatic, and he sometimes longed for the days where it was just Robin and Steve watching fireflies as babies and thinking they’d seen faeries. When their mother and father, both told them tales of other worlds and divining the future. Their father was still cheeky and fun, but it was different back then. So was his mother.
In his minds eye he could see it clear as day, late summer evenings when the air was cooling down and the colors of sky were blending colors and there was still light, just enough light out to shower the world in a golden glow. His mother spinning in circles with them and making flower crowns, catching fireflies and telling them stories of magic and faeries, of witches and ogres and mermaid. Making paper fortune tellers and showing them carefully how to make their own.
“Well Angel fish I must say... you have a bunch of looping letters I see an ‘h’ and I see a ‘t’ and maybe a ‘g’. I have no clue who you may end up with especially because you have three that I can see, and it isn’t indicative of first or last name. It seems perhaps, your pansy was correct, and you are in for a surprise. One even we can’t predict.”
Angela was annoyed to say the least and it was apparent.
They all drank tea to dampen their scents as was considered proper for Omegas, but her annoyance was so strong the scent of it was enough to make Steve wrinkle his nose.
“How boring! At this rate, I ought to have just picked daisy petals,” She threw her own flower to ground before sitting back dramatically down on the couch again, “Steve, you have to help me embroider my shoes for the ball. I have to be the most fashionable there.”
“Angela… all of your shoes are already embroidered.”
“I’m going to buy new ones obviously.” Steve refused to give her an answer and instead without even looking at Robin, he addressed her.
“Bobbin lets go for a walk; I’m starting to get a headache.”
Robin pursed her lips hiding a smile because she knew full well who the headache was.
“Of course, Stevie.” She detangled herself just enough to make the walk easier and looped her arm through his and they made their way outside leaving Angela huffing away in the background, no doubt getting ready to complain to their mother.
~
It seemed that over the course of the next day it didn’t matter how much Mrs. Harrington, or their children tried to wheedle information out of him, Mr. Harrington wouldn’t be compelled to give them any decent details about Ms. Cunningham.
All of them strategized attacking him in multiple ways, including outright bold questions, sly hypothesis he was welcome to correct, and clever little workings peppered wherever they could find a place for them. He would not be compelled. He was so painfully immovable and even more painfully good at pretending he was too dumb to understand what they meant.
Not even Steve could sway him, which was a sore spot for the rest of them as they had been relying on him folding like a deck of cards for Steve.
Eventually mostly all of them graduated from trying to gain anything from him and took any secondhand knowledge they could glean from Lady Joyce Hopper.
Sir James, she had let them know, had been very impressed by her. She was young, wonderfully pretty, very agreeable and seemingly kindhearted. She was good humored and intended to bring a large party of people with her at the ball.
There was nothing more delightful to hear as far as Mrs. Harrington was concerned. To be fond of dancing was clearly a step toward falling in love. There were hopes in the minds of the whole town that her heart would be secured by one of of the many Omegas and Betas in town.
“You know if I can just see one our children married and settled down at Cherry Lane,” Natalie told Robert as she brushed her hair getting ready for bed that night, “and all the others just as well settled, I don’t think I would have anything else to wish for.”
Mr. Harrington did not think that was possible regardless of how well all his children married.
~
A few days later Ms. Cunningham had apparently paid Mr. Harrington visit and sat with him in his library for the span of about ten minutes. Of course, Mr. Harrington had planned it for a time that wife and children would be gone, lest they meet and end all his amusement.
The visit itself was not particularly great. Mr. Harrington being determined to keep having his fun bordered on rude, nervous that today would be the day his wife and children would come home sooner than expected.
Ms. Cunningham had come with the hopes of meeting the famous Harrington Omegas, of whom she’d heard nothing but wonderful things about. She heard over and over how beautiful they were and kind and intelligent, so she was more than a little disappointed that they were not home, and she was only to deal with their father. He came across as a bit austere given that he hadn’t seemed much interested in keeping a conversation going. Manners had dictated over the years that these sorts of visits lasted at least fifteen minutes before perhaps an introduction was to be made. Even without introduction fifteen minutes was the standard, so it was a bit of an affront that it lasted only ten. She knew it was under his discretion she might be the rest of his family given that he was their Alpha but still she felt it was a bit misleading and lacking in decorum however she was a forgiving sort, so she didn’t hold it against him.
It was a shame though; she really had wanted to meet the rest of the Harrington’s she’d heard so much about.
The Harrington siblings however were at the worst disadvantage being unable to even catch a glimpse at what she was like.
Mrs. Harrington while lamenting their poor fortune and grieving over such a husband, immediately dispatched an invitation to dine with them. She wasted no time in planning the courses, but it was to no avail. She received word back that Ms. Cunningham would be unable to do dinner with them as she was to be in Nevada the next day and simply couldn’t accept the honor of their invitation.
Natalie was instantly annoyed by this. She couldn’t possibly imagine what business Ms. Cunningham could have that would have her leaving so quickly after his arrival to Hawkins and this soon turned into her having anxiety that perhaps the young Alpha would constantly be traveling somewhere and would never fully settle down at Cherry Lane as she ought to.
Lady Byers was the one to talk her down suggesting that Ms. Cunningham being away in Nevada was only in fact to bring a rather large part of people back with her for the ball. Mrs. Harrington still being rather wound up meant Joyce felt she had no choice but to try and coax her friend into relaxing by suggesting this would perhaps mean more Alphas for her lovely children. This did work to make her more bearable but only for a little while.
Joyce truly adored Steve and Robin and even Dustin, everyone else she cared about to a lesser extent, especially since many of them were so hard to deal with. Mrs. Harrington was a good friend to have though even if she could be positively exhausting. Joyce could acknowledge that for all her bad qualities she’d certainly had her better ones.
Soon someone reported that Ms. Cunningham was bringing twelve Omegas, five Betas and two Alphas with her to the party. Every eligible Omega and Beta were in mourning by those projected number of fellow omegas and betas. Things were slightly better around town when the day before the ball the new rumor suggested instead of twelve and five, she had actually only brought six altogether, five Omegan sisters and a Beta cousin.
This was all proven false as soon as the party was actually in motion.
The ball itself was lively if somewhat casual in taste, there was no theme and though people were dressed up no one was in particularly fashionable colors and fabrics. This made some of the people nervous that it would be seen as too lowbrow by the big city standards of Ms. Cunningham and her entourage. Still, the lights were warm, brilliant and glowing and the ornate chandelier in the center of the ceiling was bathing everyone in glittering golden cheer. Nearly everyone who was dancing was also laughing just as brightly as those light shone. The atmosphere was cozy and familiar amongst the many families of the town. There was a raucous quality to the party however, but it lacked a certain pretension. Everyone was milling about excitedly, many already drunk on spirits and food.
Steve’s youngest siblings were nearly floating in merriment while they were in the throes of dancing. Steven and Jonathan Hopper were clapping joyfully along as they watched the progression of the dance, having to nearly shout to hear one another as they took in the the many fun and funny sights of the couples dancing across the floor. Some of those already drunken guests were making some very funny blunders alongside some odd couples. His own parents were looking on in the distance at what was nearly the other end of the hall in indulgence whilst his sister Nancy was standing near them playing the role of a dour little shadow.
In a fit of joy and affection Steve grabbed turned to Robin who sat on the other side of him and grabbed her hand, “Now, if every Alpha in the room doesn’t end up in love with you by the end of the night, then I am no good judge of beauty.”
Robin blushed and let out a short laugh that would have sounded like a scoff coming from anyone else.
“Or Alphas,” she said shaking her head. Steve was giggling in at her response.
Leaning into her he scrunched his nose and shook his head at her and still laughing said, “No, they are far too easy to judge.”
Robin rolled her eyes and thumbed gently at the green sleeve of Steve’s shirt before patting his hand and telling him, “They aren’t all bad.” The three omegas' eyes were all over the charged room.
“Humorless poppycocks in my limited experience!” Steve shared a grin with Jonathan as he gave his reply.
“One of these days, Steve, someone will catch your eye,” Robin smile was glittering as she looked around the room, humored by her brother but also will anticipation for eventual arrival of Ms. Cunningham, “and then you’ll have to watch your tongue.”
Jon watched the siblings in great amusement. While Robin was older and closer in age by just a year, he was particularly close with Steve who he had a deep unending fondness for.
Though he remained smiling Steve scrunched his nose again and shook his head with amused disagreement toward his sister.
A hush came over the entire room and suddenly there it was. This wouldn’t understand until marked the before and after.
There stood Ms. Cunningham and her party in the entrance hall staring out at all of of them.
The dance came to an abrupt end and all partners moved away parting like the red sea for dazzling newcomers. The three Omegas stood to see the figures who had caused such a sharp relief to the ongoing fun. There were murmurs all around, but nothing so easily heard or understood.
While Jonathan and Steve were looking on in curiosity, Robin was struck in awe by a member of the group who stood so elegantly in the front.
The group was decidedly less than had been rumored and consisted of three women and two men.
Where they were stood it was hard to make out too much about them and Steve wondered about which of the fine ladies was Ms. Cunningham and who all was with her.
When the gentleman Alpha, Sir James Hopper, the host of the ball, finally made his way up to greet them with a bow and a thankful welcome, Steve took the time to ask Jonathan the question that was burning up in his throat.
“So, which of the painted peacocks is our Ms. Cunningham?” Robin turned quickly to look at Jonathan also curious for the answer before turning back to stare at the new guests.
“The small one on the right with the strawberry blonde hair, that’s our Alpha. The older woman on her close left is her Omega sister, the two further back are her Beta brother and his Beta wife.”
Steve had never let his eyes wonder away from the party that was now walking down through the path created by the rest of the guests. He hummed quietly in acknowledgement before asking another question.
“And the man with a quizzical brow?” He was being fairly kind. The man was to be sure beautiful, with longer dark blonde hair and a face he was sure even from this distance could make others weep but it was set in fairly dark glare.
“That is her good friend, Mr. Hargrove.”
Steve let out a huff of laughter as he looked over each of them.
“Goodness,” he started, “He looks miserable, the poor soul.”
Jon hummed back in amusement, “Well, miserable he may be, but I assure you, poor he most certainly is not.”
Steve grinned, he found it all so funny. The older Omega was haughty and stood closer to the miserable beast of a man as she looked down her nose while making acquaintances with others as they were all led through.
“Tell me.”
“You sure you can handle it, Steven?” Jonathan himself couldn’t hide his quieter amusement very well either and tugged at his friend's sleeve so he would lean down so he could whisper the rest, “He is an Alpha of 10,000 a year and he owns half of California.”
Robin stared at Jonathan in astonishment over what she was hearing, but Steve was not so easily impressed by some random Alpha of incredible fortune. He knew the alpha was out of the realm of possibility past acquaintanceship, and he did not even at this point seem to think that even that was in that was a possibility with the way he carried himself. No, Steve thought, that is not the kind of Alpha who would acknowledge an acquaintance with the people of this room.
“The miserable half?”
The response gave way to Jonathan letting out a quiet snort and giggle in surprised amusement. He ducked his head into his chest shaking trying to make it quieter whilst he hunched closer to Steve who did nothing to hide how delighted he was. Even Robin couldn’t hide her mirth so well.
She nudged her brother quickly and discreetly tried to tap at Jonathan’s hand urgently as it seemed the small party of newcomers was to pass their way with Sir Hopper making introductions and commentary about the building.
Steve felt a eyes on his face as the three of them curtsied with lowered heads as the group was starting to pass. His head being lowered prevented him from seeing the blonde figure do a double take at him. As the three of them came back up smiling his eyes met a pair cornflower blue one. It was brief and electric eye contact before the blue ones snapped away from his and turned to face forward once again. Steve couldn’t help but stare, mouth slightly open at the man as he strode further away before demurely looking down at the ground. A thrum had run through his body forcing him intensely upright when their eyes had met. Steve shook off the arresting moment with a huffed out laugh. The eye contact had been unexpected and the feeling of it interesting.
It had felt the way a gasp does when leaves your body in shock.
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bluinary · 1 month
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Waking up crying because after 2 years of grinding and understudying I was called back to play a real lead for a renowned director (me out of 3 girls total) and I lost the role to a girl who just auditioned here for the first time. The worst part is that I am also her understudy for the show before that!
#and it feels like no one actually gives a fuck. im being constantly invalidated#“thats showbiz” bitch this is a community theatre that prides itself on fairness#im not saying I shouldve just gotten the role bc ive been there. either role.#i am saying though that playing a fucking lead has historically been treated like a privilege.#because it can lead to huge opportunities once ppl see you that way#and tbf I nailed the callback. even the girl cast (whos also my new friend) said honestly she was sure it was me.#before i was even called back i had fellow actors saying id be perfect for it#i know why he cast the other girl. there are multiple reasons.#but honestly her reasons and mine weigh much the same. and she just got there.#im emphasizing SHE JUST GOT THERE#she even told me she just wanted to be involved#this is the 2nd time this has happened to me and im really fucking sick of it.#and now that ive regained some weight.....who tf else will cast me#i dont want to have to go all ED again i dont have the money or energy#also I cant dance very well. at least not in callbacks. i always forget what move comes next and i bomb it.#anyway. now im waking up crying. and its coming from a selfish place so no one is here to give a fuck.#this is the worst position to be in lmfao. if i have feelings about something im the villain and a diva.#i have to be “humble” but oh!! dont be down on yourself either!! have pride!!#this month has sucked so bad.#blu babbles#also. shes really good! but shes absolutely not THAT good lmfao. her presence is awesome and she dances well#and her voice is really nice! shes a triple threat but like. all areas are just *at* the bar yknow?#for me ive been told my acting is also at the bar my dancing is just below the bar and my voice is way above the bar.#shes been asking me for tips on singing and no one also seems to see how that feels like twisting the knife.#ik its not intentional. shes just naive. but it still hurts. it hurts really really bad.#im like @ god if you want me to have faith and confidence in myself why are you making me into a loser#first i lose my ex. then my car gets fucked up. also its been cloudy for 2+ weeks so depression. then i gain weight.#now i lose BOTH roles i was called back for.#i dont even want to go to rehearsal today. what the hell do they need me for.
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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moeblob · 2 months
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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oatbugs · 3 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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forbiddennhoney · 14 days
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):
#personal#ugh#not a day goes by where i dont think of her /:#we were such good friends /:#and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it#but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt#bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear#and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better#i hope shes ok#and i miss her#but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like......#i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with#and blow up at them and demand proof of it#like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that??????#nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit.......#idk. im just sad#she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ):#ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht#the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did#and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs#but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there#nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me#(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny)#and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up#like she did choose this#and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again#i just. idk man. it sucks
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swordmaid · 4 months
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the thing with shri’iia to me is that she is very easy to manipulate if you say the right words. that’s how the matriarch kept her in a leash and cage and shri’iia WAS happy with that until she accidentally escaped and slowly realised how shitty all that was. that’s why - in an oathbreaker shri’iia run - she starts to spite the emperor once she realises what he’s doing with her, and why a vengeance shri’iia run would still be plausible after the religious/self existential crisis bc she’ll be in a really vulnerable place and she would want to hear those right words, you know …
#like she is a professional liar herself sure..!!! and she uses people too … but Shri’iia is first foremost a paladin and she’s programmed#to serve under someone or something … and she’s literally willing to do anything for the thing she’s following#like she is very disconnected with her sense of self since she just sees herself as a tool/extension to serve out orders#and she’s fine with doing anything! 🤷‍♀️ she doesn’t care ! 🤷‍♀️ she’ll be happy about it even#shri’iia is a well trained dog who doesn’t question what she’s told … so when she becomes an Oathbreaker and she actually has to figure out#who SHE is/what she wants/what she wants to do etc. it’s like 🧍‍♀️❓❓❓#sooo very daunting bc she doesn’t know … she has no sense of self outside of her oaths and who she serves ….#and why it is so significant for her when she accepts being an Oathbreaker bc that’s her first step to reclaiming her own autonomy ….#and why her becoming a vengeance paladin again is a regression bc it’s the dog running back to their own cage and locking the door behind#them … anyway it is so interesting to me because I see shri’iia as a selfish character#who’s also quite greedy. and she doesn’t like charity. but when it comes to doing something for the very thing she believes in#suddenly she is so self sacrificial. like I think she has such a tunnel vision to her oath that she disregards anything else#when it gets involved … which makes her act 1 denying the Lolth worship hurts even more bc she’s ACTIVELY choosing to deny that u know ..#like it’s a purposeful choice and that’s what leads to the oathbreaking … all that bc she was too scared and frightened#since she’s all alone in an environment that’s so new to her surrounded by people who could kill her bc she’s a drow lol
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random2908 · 1 year
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I started by telling myself I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't get all my planned chores done: Saturday is a rest day, and we've just finished three weeks of crunch at work. (Next week might also be crunch but probably not; the product ships at the end of the week but we should be in good enough shape already.)
But then I realized: I ran three errands in the morning, and did three chores in the evening--even if one of the chores was just "cook a healthy dinner" and two of the chores were banking-related on a website. (But one involved sending text messages, and one involved an actual phone call to customer service, so I can't even really say they were just on a website.) That's six things I got done on a rest day. I may have overscheduled by saying I'd do at least eight things, but still, six things is very good.
#the things I did NOT do all involve a hand drill so#I have about average upper body strength for a woman which means I do struggle somewhat with hand drills#although these chores all involve walls not metal so it's not THAT bad--except it's sideways rather than down so I can't lean into it#so yeah that's a level of chores I was not up to on my rest day#tomorrow is too booked up for chores--I told my friend I wanted to hang out with them this weekend#since I said no two weeks ago (I was fully booked) and they had to cancel on me last weekend#and normally we meet in the middle for hiking (we live 1.5 hours apart) but this time they suggested I drive all the way out#and I said yes before I realized that's what they were suggesting#so that's fine--but I can't do anything else beyond that tomorrow even just basic chores#which is a little bit getting to me because a house guest is coming to visit in four days#and I really need the shower curtain to be properly secured to the wall by then?#anything else is gravy--I already have clean sheets for her and everything--but THAT needs to be done#I've been living here almost two months and have only knocked the shower curtain down about three times so it's really not that bad#I even hang my towels on it and it's fine BUT I know how to do it? and I'm like professionally good at manipulating physical objects lol#like being a mechanic of sorts is literally a significant chunk of my job#whereas she doesn't pick up object-manipulation tasks easily--especially not involving gross motor skills#in fact when I mentioned it to her she was like yeah that was something she was not going to be able to handle#if I didn't have it properly installed by the time she arrived#so uh... well not today or tomorrow#and Monday and Tuesday I have work... and she's arriving Wednesday#ok realistically tomorrow night I'm just going to have to suck it up and get to drilling no matter how tired I am from driving and hiking
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If u tell a trans disabled person to call the cops or tell someone else to call the cops abt them u do not care abt that person’s safety
#or any marginalized group but this is in reference to me#thinking abt when a customer pulled a gun on me and i told my bf at the time abt it and rather than ‘omg are u ok’#his immediate response was to get upset w me for not calling the cops after the guy had already left#as if i could do so while he was there either like obviously he had a fucking GUN what was i supposed to do#cops would have done nothing IF I WAS LUCKY + i could have gotten in trouble at work#told my best friend at the time abt it and how my bf had gotten mad and my ‘friend’ was like actually he’s right and ur a horrible person#like it was part of what ended our friendship#neither of them acknowledged or cared that I’d just been thru smth scary. just immediate rage w no apology afterwards#not even a ‘I get that that was probably scary’ like hello?? instead of being relieved I’m safe ur gonna use it for ur cop agenda??#and then say acab online for clout??#also thinking abt when another ex for some fucking reason told her ex that i was having a depressive episode and that she was like stressed#and her ex (who has never met me) was like ‘your bf is abusive and if u don’t call the cops on him I will’#literally bc i had told her that like i was having a hard time and was going to seek help#anyways if ur like ready to jump at an opportunity to Insist on sending cops after a multiply marginalized person#then u cannot use our rights movements or anti cop sentiments to like try to get pussy#and u don’t get to claim it’s for our safety if we’re telling u explicitly cops make us feel unsafe. if the individual wants to then whatev#but if it’s a situation that affects me and not you then my consent matters and it’s a hard no#fucking anyone with education in these areas understands this! i told my psychiatrist abt these instances n why i feel unsafe w cops#and she was like ‘thank u for telling me this so that if there were ever an emergency situation involving you i would know to not do that’#WHAT A CONCEPT#now im scared to tell ppl in my life abt serious things bc i think they’ll say call the cops n then scream at me if I say no#and if I tell them these stories and they’re like ‘omg that’s awful’ LIKE A NORMAL PERSON then im like omg this person is safe <3 LOW BAR#mine#txt#gun tw#personal
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