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maniculum · 8 months

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Medieval Scorpions Effortpost

So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:

The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".

Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.

As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".

Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.

See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:

That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?

So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.

And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.

*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.

Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.

And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.

11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)

12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)

12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)

12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)

13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)

13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)

13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)

13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)

13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)

13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)

13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)

13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)

14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)

14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)

14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)

15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)

I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.

#medieval #medieval creatures #medieval art #scorpions #medieval scorpions #manuscript #medieval manuscripts #illuminated manuscript

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1pepsiboy · 1 month

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Car video with Matt Sturniolo - Fluff! (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: swearing, a little kissing

A/N: This one got away from me and I had to reign it back in because it's not supposed to be smutty lmaooo But here it is!

***

It’s close to midnight as Matt parks the van in a random spot at the favorite lot. The two of you got fries, chicken nuggets with sweet n’ sour sauce (mostly for him), and a large milkshake to share. You plan to do a car video to post on his individual channel.

You have no idea what you were going to talk about. Matt had fans submit their own questions for you two to answer.

After setting up the camera, which included Matt going out to check it, you start recording and picking at the food.

Matt starts the video off. "Hey everyone, (y/n) and I are here. Uhm... basically we're going to do our own car video without Nick and Chris. We don't really have a topic, but you guys submitted questions on instagram. Babe, have anything to start us off?"

Now, he looks at you as you’re mid fry. You chew quickly as possible, wiping your hands on a napkin, as he giggles under his breath.

"Thanks for the warning," you remark with a laugh. "Uhm, not really... I'm just here for the vibes."

"For the vibes?" Matt crooks a brow and looks you up and down. Then he takes a nugget and dips in the sauce.

You roll your eyes. "Don't yuck my yum."

Matt stuffs the nugget in his mouth. "Okay, Chris."

All you do is flip him off and take a sip of the milkshake.

"Just ask the questions."

"Okay, okay." He laughs as he readjusts in his seat after grabbing his phone. It's quiet for a couple minutes while he gathers them. "Oh, let's start with this one. What's our favorite thing about each other?"

"Well-"

"Oh, quick disclaimer, sorry babe." Matt shoots you a nervous smile. "I will edit screenshots of the questions onto the screen so you can see who they're from. And uh.. if you'd like to get featured in videos, follow us on instagram to see the next time I ask for questions. I'll put the @s on the screen and in the description below."

You slowly chew on your straw after taking another sip, patiently waiting for him to be done. It's already been fifteen minutes and you are almost positive Matt forgot the extra battery pack. Granted, you could've asked Nick where it was and brought it; too late.

"Okay, what were you going to say?" Matt prompts.

You think about making another snarky remark in how it'd been so long since he asked the question that you don't remember it.

Tapping the straw on your pursed lips, you pretend to think. "Well... I have many favorite things so it's an unfair question."

Matt lightly rolls his eyes. "Look, I know you love everything about me, but what's your favorite?"

"Oh, everything?" You laugh. "You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Matty B? Let's go the different route then." You look directly into the camera. "Guys, this kid will not accept anything sort of unorganized or clean. Not for more than five minutes if he can help it."

Matt's jaw drops and he snatches the cup out of your hand. "Your least favorite thing is how organized I am?"

"Yeah, live a little! You won't die if there's like a wrapper or two on your desk, or if the toothbrush isn't in the holder."

"You are an absolute monster, (y/n)!" Matt cracks. He points between you and the camera. "Don't believe a single word she says. She leaves more than a wrapper or two, and her skincare is all over my bathroom counter after she does her morning routine."

You shrug. "I don't see a problem with that, and I don't think the fans will either."

"Guys, leave a comment if you're more like me or (y/n)." He barely scoffs under his breath, eating another fry. "You're lucky you have other amazing qualities that I overlook the messiness."

Now, you couldn't help blushing. “Such as?”

Matt shakes his head, a smile spreading on his lips. “You’re understanding about a lot going on, you know, like the channels, life, and stuff. So it’s easy to talk to you about it, like if I’m ever anxious or something.”

“Top fucking notch quality right there,” you say. “Anything else? I love the praise.”

“I thought this was reserved for in private, babe.”

Your eyes go wide and you almost spit out the fry you just put in your mouth. “Matthew! Stop!”

Matt giggles under his breath. “Sorry. Uhm… You can rock a men’s polo and make the best playlists for me… Obviously you have such a vibrant personality.”

“That I do.” You nod in agreement. You reach out to brush back some of his hair, causing some pinkness to rouge on his cheeks. “I love how cautious you are about decisions, keeps me from letting impulsive thoughts win.”

“Which is a lot,” he shoots a look at the camera.

You can only roll your eyes in response. “Anyway… You’re the most caring person I know that will drop anything to help someone you love. The only time you won’t ask a lot of questions… Oh! You’re actually the best big spoon ever.”

He bites his bottom lip, failing to hold back a cheesy grin. “Really, babe?”

“Absolutely.”

You close the space between you, and Matt instinctively rests his hand in the crook of your neck. You crawl over the center console onto his lap when you realize it wouldn’t be just a few kisses.

Time gets away and you sort of forget that you are filming. Your hands roam each other’s bodies over and under clothes. Both of you leave butterfly kisses on the other’s neck.

The lights in the van suddenly dim away.

“Shit. Fuck,” Matt says, his lips pink from yours and hair tousled more than usual. “I think the camera died.”

“And we technically only answered one question.” You bite your lip with a laugh.

He laughs with you, running a hand through his hair. He lays back and looks you in the eyes. “I should’ve known not to start with that question.”

“Should we try doing this again on a different night?”

Matt sighs heavily. “Probably… It would suck to scrap all the footage though.”

A smirk rises on your lips as you move back to the passenger seat. “You want to include clips of us making out?”

“Obviously no.” He rolls his eyes.

“Let’s just keep going then. Use my phone to record.”

Matt kisses the crook of your neck. “You’re the best, babe.”

You shoot him a look. “Be careful, Matthew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He throws his hands up in defense. (He really wasn’t that sorry.)

*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo request #fluff #request #car video #car video with matt

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sssammich · 1 month

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💖

i’m starting with one even though frankly i want to send you all of them

i'll send you a document with a response to all of them how's that

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

god where would i even start

well i guess i'll pick one

personally, as in my personal opinion, i just don't believe in kara coming out as somehow the next best step for her. this matter of being your 'full self' just screams 'nobody knows what work/life balance is' lmao. this is what we call 'vocational awe' in libraries LMAO i get what it's trying to do in that this has been the series-long crusade for kara. who is she? kara danvers? or supergirl? and i have posited elsewhere that kara danvers is her default setting, not supergirl. so supergirl's role in kara's entire life is a cape/persona she dons...and then takes off. so i think the bigger identity reconciliation should be between kara danvers and kara zorel, not the hero but the alien. she's superpowered because she's alien first, etc etc. but idk how to explain that without writing an essay right now so i will withhold.

the point is i just didn't think it was a satisfying end for her to come out as supergirl to the world to satisfy the juggling of her two identities. i think she should have just done a better job juggling them LOL like i think it's important to determine how to be your most authentic self but i don't know if it needed to be done at the face of revealing your alien identity. because i still think that the target on her back just gets infinitely larger??? what's the point of keeping 4 years of secrets to lena at that point? couldn't she have reached that conclusion sooner if that was the case? i think she could have expressed her authentic self by marie kondoing what's the most important parts of her life and how to let the *right* people in, not *every single person* in. also like idk from a logistics standpoint, kara should have just hired a fucking assistant for herself to keep things organized. the issue here is that she keeps working 40 hour work weeks for both jobs. and also to accept editor in chief? like those people leave work early. the solution was for kara to have hired an assistant, maybe 2. like the reason why she's conflicted is that she's working 2 jobs? she doesn't need to combine those 2 jobs and announce to the world that she's doing them as 1 big job. ETHICALLY she was citing herself???? god the integrity of everything should be put to question lmao

what would have been more compelling to me myself and i is if she really took a look at her time as supergirl and wondered if she should maintain the cape or not. like did she do as much good as she hoped? what about the people who had died or who had gotten hurt or whose lives and situations were otherwise sacrificed on her behalf? is this the life for her? is this something she wants to keep doing because she wants to or because she feels she has to? she feels a responsibility and i think that's fascinating for a character, and she thinks that there's a duty to uphold to the humans of national city because she has these gifts. but i think the ending should have been kara determining the future of supergirl, the superhero, and not how to mix the two and count that as authenticity.

tangentially, it is oh so interesting to me that this authentic speeches comes from cat and lena to be the ones to convince her to stop hiding herself? two people who are notoriously private people???? who are essentially living private and public lives??????? funny how that goes i guess

anyway it's fine obviously and if you liked it then that's also great and it's an intentional high note feel good ending yes yes good great. i am not trying to yuck your yum at all, but based on how i have since engaged with the show, it's pretty clear the writers and i simply did not share a vision lmao

ask game

#sideguitars #replies #ask meme #i guess my thing is what is the net benefit to kara coming out as both other than to soothe that she wants to do both but can't really #what about the responsibility she has to her friends and family who are also vigilantes??? who did not reveal their identities????#like i guess that's what i was thinking the whole time like she wants to do both but can't so now what?#hire an assistant? delegate? you're getting promoted to upper management my guy time to act like it

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greatstormcat · 4 months

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Storm Cat’s FAQ & Boundaries Sign

Written for future tapping

If you're over 18 you are welcome to interact with my blog but the following apply:

I write dark content and I actively reblog, support and enjoy dark content from other writers. I am big on tagging and putting stuff under the cut, so if you decide to read it that’s on you.

If I suspect you are a minor I will block you. I will ignore whatever number you’ve written in your bio and make my own judgement call because anyone can type a number higher than 18!

Blank blogs will be blocked as you’ll be assumed to be a bot. If you’re a human and you aren’t actively reblogging to help support the accounts you follow, but still expect to get to enjoy that work, you’ll get blocked. Reblogs keep us going!

This is a safe space for all sexualities, gender identities, POC, and anyone who isn’t an outright arsehole. I openly support trans-people. If I mess up a pronoun here or there please let me know (respectfully)!

Don’t drop drama in my inbox or DMs, or ask my opinion on what another blog has said and/or done. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I can block whoever I want, this is my blog. I don't owe you a reason or an announcement. If you make me uncomfortable for any reason, if there’s something you do I don’t want to see, if you're rude or harrassing me then I will block you and move on. Kindly just move on as well.

Don't ask when updates are coming. I have a life and a job and limited time/energy. They'll happen when they do. These asks will be ignored, as will comments just saying "part 2?" or "OMG more pls!" because this is rude and disrespectful. If you’re really rude with it I may just block you.

Do not yuck someone else’s yum.

I do not run a taglist anymore, its incredibly hard work to do. If you want to know when I post then follow me and use the notifications.

#storm cat boundaries #this will get linked to my pinned post so I can ‘tap the sign’#I will update this as I feel the need

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sunnydayroleplay · 1 year

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Hiiii! How are you? Don't hate me, but they had no right to make Ian cuteee- I'm sorry! He's just adorable! I would take him back- That sounds toxic, but ANYHOW. how would Ian react to MC taking him back?

This is the first post I’ve ever gotten about Ian omfg-

I aint gonna yuck your yums, I agree they had no right to make him so adorable. He’s quite cute aha~

Now, let’s write!

Contents Inside: Heavy Emotions (Crying, Anger), Uhhh Ian getting a bunch of speeding tickets most likely, You fucking slap his hoe ass, Cuddle times.

18- DNI, even though this is a relatively SFW post, the game it is based off of is an 18+ community. It is for your own safety, and you interacting not only jeopardizes that, it jeopardizes mine, and the creators of the games. For SFW + 18- safe content, check out my art page instead. @feralhalfnhalfcreamer

———————————————————

Countless missed phone calls, some unopened letters, he was desperate. He was desperate to win you back, or even just a word from you. He didn’t know how you were anymore because of him. All those memories from your guys’ childhood just vanished like that because of him and he hated it. If only he hadn’t went to that bar. If only he hadn’t finished that last drink. Maybe you’d be still together.

Tiresome nights, he still hasn’t gotten over you. And you couldn’t get him out of your head. You find yourself wearing his old shirts when you go to bed. The way his smell lingered in your nose was comforting yet infuriating. You’d sleep in his untouched room, on that same bed you’d talk to him in.

Was this normal? You know “getting over with” is different for everybody, but why is it lasting for so long? Why do you still love him? Why can’t you bring yourself to love someone else after months have passed? Why do you have the sudden urge to call him back and tell him you love him?

You shouldn’t. He cheated on you, regardless if he was drunk or not. He hurt you so badly, you don’t know if he’s only going to do it again. But, you can’t help but to find out. You want to hear his voice again one last time and have it not be his crying.

Your phone was vibrating on your nightstand. You leaned over to check who it was, and sure enough it was Ian. Your heart was racing, should you answer it? Do you want to try at this again? You’ve known him for the longest time, and you know he wouldn’t cheat on you to be a dick. That he wouldn’t hurt you just to hurt you. Maybe he really was sorry. Maybe you should answer it.

Letting out a sigh, you pick up the phone and press ‘accept’. You hear a shocked gasp from the other line.

“Y/N?! I-Is that you? Oh god..please I’m so sorry, I-“

“Come over. We need to talk.”

“Wait wh-“

You hang up and throw your phone across the room: Did you really tell him to come by to what was once both of your homes? And is he going to see that you still kept everything of his intact? Your heart is pounding, your mind is racing, you don’t know what to do or say, but you know that its not gonna be good.

Were you happy about this? Were you really going to let him back into your life after that last few months have been a living hell? So many questions and not enough answers. It felt like you were in your bed panicking for only mere seconds until you heard a knock on your door.

It’s him.

It’s…him.

Practically falling out of your bed, you try to wipe away your tears as you crawl out of your room and towards the front door. Should you open it? Are you really going to do this. Yes, you are. You unlock the door, and slowly open it up.

Standing in the door way was a light brunette haired man, freckles covering his soft face. He had a brown coat on, with a rough pair of jeans. His neck wore that necklace you once matched with.

You looked up at him, tears still streaming down your face. He clenched on his bag strap harder, trying not to do anything rash. Furrowing your eyebrows, you clenched your fists, and brought up a hand to slap him as hard as you could.

Ian immediately let go of his bag and held onto the side of his face that you hit him on.

“Ow!! I.. that was deserved..”

Like a typical day in Autumn, you couldn’t not let out your rain. Tears just falling down from your eyes, you tried your best to keep up your composure, but you couldn’t. Ian let go of his face. It was obvious that he wanted to go inside and hold you in his embrace that he had done so many times before. But he refrained.

You jumped in his arms, holding on for dear life as if he was going too disappear into ash and crumb.

“You’re a fucking dick! I hate you so much! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!”

You hit him after every emphasis given. Ian didn’t say anything about it. He just wanted to comfort you. His hands ran up and down your spine as he tried to shush you softly. Like he had always done beforehand.

You hated how it felt so nice. How it felt so good the way he treated you in the moment. Eventually he let go off you, and you managed to calm down enough to start a basic conversation.

The two of you talked, you actually talked. After so long, you got to see each other, and it was actually nice. Ian talked about how it went on, and how he was deeply sorry. He went on his knees and practically begged for you to take him back. That he couldn’t live without you.

And to be honest, you knew you couldn’t either. He was one of the only things on your mind since he left. You knew you couldn’t get over him. You lept into his arms again, and held him close. You weren’t crying this time, at least not that much.

He pressed a kiss against your forehead, his hand resting behind your back, playing with your hair.

“I’m sorry Y/N.. I-I know that I-“

“Shut up and just.. stay with me..don’t leave me again..please..”

“You really mean it? You’re not just saying that..?”

“Do you want me to change my mind? I-I’ll be honest.. I couldn’t get over you either..it was hard.. You left me Ian. You left when I needed you most.”

“I won’t leave you again. I-I will always be here, okay? Please, I promise, I-I love you, you’re m-my everything..!”

Should you fall for those sentimental words again? Are you truly ready to start things over? It’s hard to decide, but you have an answer. Yes, you’re ready. Slowly but surely.

“J-Just come inside..”

You finally step aside and let him in, closing the door behind him. He walks over to that same familiar couch that the two of you got off the side of the road in a “rich people” neighborhood.

The two of you managed to calm down enough. Your ear pressed against Ian’s chest. Your breathing almost aligning up with his. He had both his arms wrapped around you. Its been awhile since you had done something like this with him. In general its been awhile since you had done anything with him.

Sure, its going to take a long time to build up trust with him, but at least he’s willing to do anything for it.

After so many nights of crying yourself to sleep, this was the one time in forever where you could sleep happy. Even if it meant getting back with your ex. And happily so.

#swwsdj ian #sdj ian #jacktor #sdj jack #sdj jacktor #sdj joseph #sunny day jack #swwsdj #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack roleplay #sunny day jack joseph #sdj jean

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buginateacup · 4 days

Note

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

:green beetle: ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here (emoji is not working for me smh)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I was gonna say Drifter/Eris and that they both smell really weird in very different ways...

But let's be honest I gotta go Megarox. Megamind is a flower eater, he enjoys nectar, and Roxanne can and will encourage this, usually by bringing him flowers or when they go on walks in parks together (night walks, naturally. Those are the best kind), she plucks flowers and feeds them to him, usually by shoving them in his face because she is a terrible gremlin and it's why we love her.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

My wife came out to a bunch of our friends and they are all so loving and supportive! She smiles so much now!

We are getting a patio installed out the back! It only took 7 years but finally we can eat out there without having to balance on gravel

There is a very cute cat loafing beside me

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

This is not me trying to yuck anyone's yum but I really, really cannot stand casting Megamind and Roxanne in parental roles for Keiko or her calling them her parents. It squicks me out to the point of repulsion. I am all for feral aunt and uncle to a wild niece, but fun characters who are NOT reduced to parenting (reluctant or otherwise) in sequels are so few and far between that I just don't want to see it. They can be supportive and caring without having to force everyone into Nuclear Family Unit.

And sure, a lot of this stems from growing up with the expectation in both media and irl that of COURSE becoming a parent is the only outcome for you. But that doesn't make it any less of an ick! We SHOULD be getting more non nuclear family options, we SHOULD be getting more it takes a village. But if your only approach to setting characters up as a family is to make them "Here is the mummy and here is the daddy and here is the baby" just no. Please. There are a thousand more possibilities there, open your mind.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Go for a walk, take some music with you, or do dishes or sweep (also with music).

Additionally, if you're wanting to write something but are holding off to find out if future canon will change things, stop waiting. Just go. Do you think we'd have anywhere near the creativity and wildness of fanfic if we had to stop and wait for canon's blessing every time. it's FANFIC! Who fucking cares if canon contradicts you down the track, it's not gonna be any less fanfic for waiting!

(I do think we actually saw a drop in the level of creativity and engagement with fandom ideas when the show was announced, which is a bummer. Kill the cop in your brain. Write shit that will be immediately contradicted, have someone come to your completely disproven fic years down the line and go "I thought this was going to not work because we know X but holy shit this is a whole new way of looking at things!")

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I uh....no thoughts, head empty. How do I stop my cat attacking me for wearing jeans in the house? I got my other rants out up above so... *le shrug*

:green beetle: ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here (emoji is not working for me smh)

Oh you sneaky little shit, you got me writing!

(context: Look we aint supposed to let the prisoners get gifts. There's a whole chapter in the handbook about what happened last time we let the kid get so much as a bobby pin.

But you tell me how I'm meant to turn down such a sweet little old lady when she comes in with two pristine old shoe boxes, all carefully packed with tissue and hands one to the kid and the other to the repoter and with a quavery little voice about how she and her husband, god rest his soul, used to go dancing every saturday night for almost forty years and how they entered the ameature ballroom competitions together. Told us they were the last pairs they brought together, before the cancer took him and oh she'd never get these on over her bunions now but it would do her old heart good to see some use coming to these shoes which hadn't seen the light of day in nigh on twenty years.)

There's only so much a man can take right before retirement.

I might have been able to hold her off if she hadn't handed one of the boxes to Miss Primetime, who looked really touched and immediately buckled herself into a pair of sparkly red shoes to the encouragement of all the old biddies.

So now the kid's the proud owner of a pair of actual ballroom dance shoes, all polished black to go with the bright orange jumpsuit.

#ask meme!#apparently I had some rants locked and loaded this morning

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rexismycopilot · 1 month

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Hi!! I just wanted to pass by and let you know that your FS series has been quite the discovery for me. In the sense that it has most likely helped me understand more than a few things about myself. I stumbled upon it and honestly it's not something I would willingly go looking for BUT I gave it a shot bc you never yuck someone's yum without trying it first and it wasn't even a yuck.

More than realizing a few things regarding the BDSM side of the story, it helped me realize a few things about my own mental health and needs, which is something no other fanfic or book in general has accomplished.

Sorry for the long ask hehe but long story short I'm very grateful for all your fics and stories and I'm extremely excited for all your possible works to come!

Anon, this is so so kind! And it really means a lot to me that you sent this in. I'm very partial to Fifty Shades too because it's honestly helped me as well and it's incredibly meaningful that it's significant to others as well.

It's really hard to go through life with this need inside of us to be understood, but feel like people just aren't quite getting it. (That probably makes zero sense lol, but I tried lol.) My point is, I hope you continue to explore your needs and I hope you don't settle for anything less than what you deserve.

I really wanted to write more this month, but I've just been weighed down by work, new meds, and my therapist suggested I get tested for ADHD (which honestly blew my mind lol) so I've been working on that! Phew, hopefully things settle down in the next couple of months because I miss my boys 🥺😭

All that to say, thank you so much, Anon!

#ask #anon #fifty shades au #obikin #positivity

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dear-mrs-otome · 4 months

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(Oh god Alfonse with the mysterious second man... or that event where Jude has to step in to prevent Roger from... yeah) This isn't a yuck anyone's yum thing, I just want it to be called what it is is all. For, y'know, safety and comfort reasons so people know what they're getting into. Especially when MC says "no" several times before finally giving in because the suitor (coughElliscough) refuses to stop. It really scares me that some readers think that counts as consent. It's cool if that's your kink but like... remember to have a safe word and talk that sort of thing through with a partner before trying it in real life, folks

I agree in that I don't want this to be a yuck someone's yum. What does it for one person won't for another and that's absolutely okay. I'm also a firm believer that cybird has the right to make whatever style of game they want...and to be fair, there are certainly characters in the game who don't seem to fall into this camp.

My concerns are twofold: the first mainly lies in making sure that people are able to know in advance what a route may contain in a narrative genre where people often identify so personally with the protagonist. I think that cybird has begun that endeavor with some of their content warnings in English... but on occasions it falls woefully short, so I am always glad for fans making others aware - with the caveat that what sets one person off will absolutely not always set another. I think it's most useful not for people to say 'SUCH AND SUCH CHARACTER IS AWFUL BECAUSE THEY DO X' and turn things into judgement than it is to clearly delineate what happens and let people decide for themselves if that is beyond the pale - for them - or not.

Secondly, my concern lies in the industry as a whole forever conflating 'dark' with SA. That the easiest way to mark a character as a Bad Boy is to have him assault the MC. That I feel is a shortcoming on writers and frankly a bit lazy (although there's an entire thing to be written somewhere, certainly by people far smarter than me, about conflating rape/assault fantasies with a culture where women/othered feel less free to express their own sexual desire BUT I DIGRESS) I do give Ikevil props for allowing their suitors to do other equally shocking things though, and allowing them other means of expressing their 'villainy'. At the end of the day I suppose we do have to remember that the game isn't called 'Ikemen Heroes' and so the warning is somewhat right on the label. 😂

I think conversations like this are important though too. I'm less worried about people perceiving something as consent or applicable to real life, because I do believe that almost everyone is able to draw a clear line between fantasy and reality, but I also think that makes it even more important to have discussions outside of that media where we pick it apart (lovingly) so that we can reinforce that boundary. Variety is not only the spice of life but it also gives us more context with which to frame our own patterns of thought.

Whew I really didn't mean for that to turn into a whole Thing, but thank you for the ask Nonny 🥰 I hope we're all looking forward to a (well-warned) launch of a fun new game!

#mrs o blathers

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two-red-lungs · 2 years

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Bruh love the Marko nsfw. Can we get baby boy Paul. ~*~*~

I love my two blondes.

omg THE auntvamp in MY askbox???? I am honored. Yes absolutely, my head is a gumball machine full of Lost Boys headcanons and you have just put a quarter in.

TLB Paul NSFW Headcanons

(Cult of Dionysus plays)

This guy is such a hedonist oh my god??? it's insane

Okay he's possessive and a little too rough, but that's par for the course with vampires. Back to the hedonism.

Even nonsexually, he'll make out with you for hours/grope you for hours. Like I said. Hedonist.

There is nothing Paul loves more than getting absolutely blazed/wasted/otherwise high and going at it. To him, it adds another level to sex

Like his ideal sex night would be doing pregame shots before rocking out/dancing to music on the radio, getting nice and blazed on the good shit he scored from a Santa Carla dealer, and finding a secluded spot on the beach to lay out a blanket in front of a fire and bang

If you're willing to take LSD with him and just rub up on eachother while you look at the distance boardwalk lights??? Hey he'll LOVE that. Instantly will make him like you

Outside of his drug life, this is one dynamic bastard. I'm talking raging bisexual switch with a million yums and very few yucks

Anything goes. He's fucked leather daddies, topped the subbiest girls, gotten DPed at orgies. You name it he's DONE it

While some of his brothers prefer the hunt to the lay, he absolutely prefers the lay. I say this nicely but the man is a whore.

Out of all the Lost Boys in the gang, the least likely to kill you after he's doing banging you

But oh my god bang you he will. He's had a lot of experience. He's kind of a pleasure god when he's not high as balls. Phenomenal technique.

Pretty consistently a power-bottom and a service-top. Kind of hard to get him to not take at least a little bit of control of a scene, purely because he is just such a horny individual who gets so riled that he can't help but intervene with his experience

Big on oral, giving and receiving. He likes the reactions it elicits in him or his partner. He's close to having an oral fixation, but not quite

Ends up honeypotting, physically and conversation-wise, for a lot of the Lost Boys kills. Let's just say if Dwayne and David didn't get hungry so often there would be a lot more Santa Carla tourists walking around talking about how some hot blonde banged them in a cave

On the flip side, he super still is a vampire. He gets a little bit of hedonistic, sexual pleasure from kills. A good old fashioned beach massacre will just put him in the mood to hit a bar and pick up a pretty face

Weirdly enough he's a big fan of safe sex??? I headcanon that vampires are infertile but he has a thing for condoms. Views 'em as trophies or score-keeping. Also IDK he's kind of stupid he just finds a little plastic sacks full of cum kinda funny

He'll put one in your pocket and be like "so you can remember me, baby ;)"

Some kinks I think Paul is into: overstimulation, public sex, choking (him receiving, the kinky bastard), group sex, butt stuff, and breathplay

I don't think any of the Lost Boys would be really into being pegged/having a mild mommy kink except for him. He totally does. He'll go wild for it: of course, he goes wild for a lot of shit

NOT the kind of guy to have a consistent partner unless he has, like, legit fallen in love. Like he'll fuck someone as many times as they want him to, but the second they start doing the "Paul, why didn't you call me, Paul, are we dating" thing he fucking dips

If he wasn't a vampire he'd probably be a completely helpless romantic. But. He super does kill people on a regular basis and is an immortal (stunningly beautiful) 24 year old with no regard for human life outside of the sexual gratification they can give him.

TL:DR Paul is super, super sexual, one of the best lays ever possible. Might ruin sex with everyone else for you. But UNLESS he has fallen head over heels for you, DO NOT try to make him a part of your life. His brothers will eat you.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #tlb x reader #paul tlb #minors dont look #thank u for the ask <3 #asks are open for TLB prompts of any kind!!#he has toned-down Klaus from the Umbrella Academy energy

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thatseventiesbitch · 1 year

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LOVE your analysis of why Eric and Donna are soulmates and wanted to add that it's with Eric that Donna can show the softness and vulnerability she doesn't really allow herself to feel elsewhere---at home, she's the Responsible One, among her friends she's the rational voice of reason, at school she's the tough tomboy etc but with Eric, flawed but inherently kind Eric who has known her forever, she can finally get in touch with her deepest emotions, you know?! I've seen so much Jackie/Eric on my dash and have to admit I just don't get it---they were barely friends, let alone more, and they genuinely annoyed each other constantly!

Thanks for the ask!

That's a fabulous addition, anon, and you're so right. Donna is vulnerable with Eric in a way she isn't with anyone else (same for Eric, but more on him in a second *lol*).

Donna would talk to him about what was going on in her life - whether its her parents marriage dissolving, the fact that Bob's dating/sleeping with someone new (and this was in S4, when they were broken up even!), feeling like a sex object at her job, etc - because she always trusted him. He didn't always say the right things (in fact he usually didn't 🤣) but he was always the first one she went to. It breaks my heart at the end of season 8 when she's running from Randy's apartment, and she turns to go to Eric's house but then stops when she remembers he's not there. 😭

Donna also only cries a handful of times throughout the series, and they're all with (and because of) Eric. She's tearing up in S3xE25 "The Promise Ring" when Eric breaks up with her. She cries in the season 4 finale "Love Wisconsin Style" when she tells Eric she's sorry and he turns her away. She's almost tearing up in S8xE6 "Long Away" when she tells Hyde that Eric broke up with her. At the end of S6 she tells Hyde that when she called her mom to tell her the wedding was off, she "just cried and cried" (and Hyde says he can't picture her crying). And then she cries in the finale when he comes back, apologizes, and they kiss. I love the scene where Eric threatens to kick Casey Kelso's ass if he makes Donna cry, but the truth is that Eric Forman is the only one who can make Donna cry! Who's gonna kick his ass? *lol*

I think Eric is also vulnerable with Donna and only Donna in certain ways. I see it even from moments early in the series, like in the episode where his grandma died. Telling her why he really said 'I love cake' - because it scares him to put it out there and say he's in love with her because what if he loses her? But there's also his little outburst in S6xE1 when he realizes he has to stay behind from college to help his parents. He has some moments with her in season 4 - I think the scene with them in the basement at the end of "Eric's False Alarm" when he tells her how he felt when he thought she was going to sleep with Casey Kelso is him at his most vulnerable. Even in That '90s Show, their little talk on the car, I think Eric only opens up like that with Donna.

As far as Eric/Jackie go - I've made my feelings clear I think. I agree with you, it's a pass for me. I don't like to yuck anyone's yum though so I just don't look at that stuff. The good news is, there are also a lot of Eric/Donna shippers active and around these days. I really, really hope we get some more of them in season 2 of That '90s Show.💛

#thanks for the ask!#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #That 70's Show #That 90s Show #That '90s Show #That 90's Show #Eric and Donna #Eric x Donna #otp: mom and dad #Eric Forman #Donna Pinciotti #Donna Forman #Casey Kelso #ask #answered #anon #my essays

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starleska · 1 year

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Just found your blog, do you have a rules/fandom list?

hey there lovely!! :3c nope, i'm afraid i don't!! i'm not a requests blog - just a multifandom person who loves a lot of different things 💖 people are welcome to send in asks with headcanon/fic ideas, theories, etc. and i just answer them if i find em interesting. i bounce around fandoms a lot, so sometimes asks sit in my inbox for a while before i get round to them;;; i do this for stress relief, and have found running big request blogs in the past quite bad for my mental health!! so sorry if that's disappointing 💔 as for rules...well, the biggie is no fandom discourse. i won't weigh in on call-outs, hot takes, etc., and i will just block/delete if you try to get me involved with that stuff. i'm just here to have fun, and i find all of that exhausting;;; if you send something that makes me uncomfortable, i'll either just not reply, message you personally to let you know, or delete and/or block. i'm not one to yuck someone else's yum - we've all just gotta take care of ourselves in our online spaces 🙏💖 mostly i like receiving asks about the fictional characters/fandoms i enjoy, and suggestions for weird fictional characters to get obsessed with!! 🥰💖 i love villains, reality-benders, scientists, nerds, Tumblr Sexymen, and characters it's very embarrassing to get obsessed with 🙈🙈 obscure f/os bring me life!! if you're here to gush, go right ahead 🔥 sorry that i'm not as formal or organised as lots of the lovely request blogs on here - i wish i could do that!! sending you lots of love :3c

#starleskasks

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francesduncan · 1 month

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Austenism: Novels are good (Austenism: Life Advice From Jane Austen)

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid"

Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey, C 14

This might be more of an observation than advice per se, but we can extrapolate some useful advice from it.

To be fair some people don't possess the ability to create images in their mind so reading isn't as enjoyable for them, but that's the important point. Reading. Should. Be. Fun.

Austen would probably laugh how her books are seen as Classic Literature and some consider them High Brow. She wasn't writing for the elite or the academics. Her first audience was her family and famously an elderly hard on her luck neighbour, Miss Benn, who had no idea the author of Pride and Prejudice was reading her the novel.

Austen may be trying to say several things here:

1. Don't Gatekeep

Fandoms are well known for trying to keep all but the purists out. Austen is literally for everyone btw, she's well out of copyright. It might be difficult to hear someone say they love Austen when they've only seen the movies, let them. Austen is not only for people who can quote pieces of her novels or discuss intimate aspects of characters as if they're real people (both of which I can do). If you don't allow anyone in, how else will new people find something that brings you so much joy?

2. Don't Yuck Other People's Yum

Let's be fair this is exactly what John Thorpe is doing. He thinks he's superior to Catherine and must "neg" her as a flirting tactic. Catherine likes gothic novels, good for her! In a couple of chapters she'll admit this with shame to Henry who accepts it. If she'd gone around believing what John Thorpe said (which we never should) she would have been miserable and hiding her delight. Allow people to like what they like, it's not hurting you.

3. Associate With People Who Share Similar Values

If books are important to you, hang out with others who feel the same...just not those judgy ones who think everything has to be "literature" and turn their nose up at some good smut. Unless, of course, you're one of them, in which case - find your people!

If you'd like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session

#jane austen #northanger abbey #austenism #dress #gatekeep #life advice

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thekentuckyhimbo · 2 years

Text

Masterlist/Requests Open!!

Details below the cut

Who I like to write about:

(Note: I will give anyone a go but these are my faves)

(Note 2: I am familiar with most current major wrestling promotion storylines besides WWE but still know a lot about WWE characters)

AEW

Best Friends (Chuckie T, Trent, OC, Kris, Yuta)

Buddy Matthews

Eddie Kingston

MJF

Ruby Soho

Hook

Danhausen

Blackpool Combat Club

Max Caster

NJPW

Jay White

Bullet Club

Rocky Romero

Impact

MCMG (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)

Before you make a request:

1. Be cool.

No abuse or hate speech please. Topics or requests that make me uncomfortable might be ignored.

2. Don't yuck anyone's yum.

No shipping discourse or kinkshaming on my blog. Get as absolutely feral as you want. If you have a serious concern about something I've written, send me a DM.

3. Please be an adult.

Like literally... If my content says it's explicit, NSFW or 18+, please read it only if you're old enough. If you request NSFW material and your bio says you're under 18, I won't be doing that.

Fic Masterlist

Very Nice, Very Evil - William Regal/Danhausen, Hookhausen, Mox/Kingston

Danhausen gives Jon Moxley some advice. Danhausen realises he should take his own advice.

Sharing is Caring - William Regal/Danhausen, Hookhausen, William Regal/Wheeler Yuta

Danhausen is William Regal's pet. But Danhausen wants Hook too.

The Tweet - Max Caster/MJF

Max calls MJF his boyfriend in a tweet. MJF is a princess about it. Smut, 18+

Sunrises and Kiwi Crushes - Jay White/Reader

Ongoing series. Jay White moves in next door to you in your small country town.

Hey Jealousy - Orange Cassidy/Reader

Orange is jealous that someone else is giving you attention. He gets... Possessive. Smut, 18+

Gentle - Jay White/Reader

Jay keeps you tied up in his hotel room while he wrestles. But when he comes back tonight he's so... Gentle. Smut, 18+

Tender - Jay White/Reader

Jay finally lets you into his life. Smut, 18+

Beretta and the Blade - Jay White/Trent Beretta

Jay stares at Trent's tits. Jay is all of us. Smut, 18+

Insatiable - Jay White/OFC

Jay White is in love. Jay is stupid about it.

Sacrifices - Jay White/Alex Shelley

Jay jerks off to his old mentor. Smut, 18+

Shellshocked - Jay White/Alex Shelley

Baby Jay lets daddy take care of him. Smut, 18+

Something Sinister - Jay White/El Phantasmo

El Phantasmo is a brat. Jay fucks him for it.

Young Once - Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy

Orange yearns for Chuck's happiness inside and outside of the ring

Tacks for Snacks - Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy

Chuck does a thumb tack spot. Orange has to pull them out. Smut, 18+

Chuckie T Kisses a New Japan Hunk - Chuck Taylor/Kazuchika Okada

Chuck gets to kiss Okada at Forbidden Door

Braids and Bathtubs - Hangman/Matt Jackson

Hangman runs Matt a bath

Softer than I Deserve - Wheeler Yuta/fem!reader (request)

Yuta loses the ROH Pure Championship because he's too busy thinking about you

Polaroid Shots - Hook/Danhausen

Hook likes pictures

Ace Austin Drabble #1

Reader is sick, Ace looks after them

Ace Austin Drabble #2

Ace makes Reader a cute playlist bc he misses them

Prick - Hangman Adam Page/Jon Moxley

The HangMox brainrot got me so I wrote angst/smut to help but it didn't help and I'm still thinking about them ok bye

Ace Austin Drabble #3 - Ace/Reader

Ace gets the Reader a pet kitten

Stray - HangMox

AU. Adam is a single dad waitress in a diner. Mox is the grizzled, mysterious stranger who comes in at 2AM

A Promise of More - HangMox

Pure, absolute smut. Mox bleeds everywhere, cums everywhere, gets fucked until he cries

#pinned post #fic requests #anon is on btw #kentucky himbo writes

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milenadaniels · 3 years

Note

Hi! I saw your tag on your informal buddie lap makeout poll (Which, exceptional scientific inquiry. Cannot wait to see the results. Especially if it leads you to write something...)

Anyway, what is your thinking on lonestar and a potential buck +e ddie sex scene? (FWIW, I don't watch LS. I tried, but just could not. Not yucking anyone's yum, just didn't work for me.)

Curious what you think?

Thank you! The study is going well, I look forward to analyzing the results in depth!

(Please note: after three hours of writing out this response, I realize I may have misunderstood your question 😂 If you meant "what do you think a buddie sex scene would look like given tarlos", please let me know and it would be my genuine pleasure to describe that in great detail. What follows is not that.....)

I have been thinking about the potential of a buddie sex scene more than I ought to, I'm sure. You could say I've been a smidge preoccupied since realizing all the legit sex scenes in the show happened in season 1/early season 2. In seasons 3/4, the closest I think we've gotten to textual sex is Madney having sex to induce labour and that consisted of Maddie throwing her shirt at Chimney from off-screen.

Someone on that post (can't find it now of course) said that 911 Lone Star took over the original 911 later time slot and thus took over the ability to have sexier content.

As someone who hasn't watched a television show live in like 5 years, your ask has prompted me to do actual research to confirm this 🤓 According to pogdesign, 911 currently plays Mondays at 8pm and 911LS plays at 9pm which supports the theory.

That said, it kind of strikes me as weird that 8pm is considered too early for sexy content? But maybe I'm just out of touch with cable television??

So I did more research! So much research omfg this took 3 hours of my life. 😅

First we define the issue at hand

I'm defining a "sex scene" as a scene that involves two or more people mackin' on each other with any of the following:

the beginning of clothing removal onscreen

the movement towards a bedroom or bed

getting into someone's lap as a sign of escalation

post-coital pillow talk or cuddling

actual shots of naked skin and writhing (softcore porn essentially)

So 911 got moved to 8pm. Do any other 8pm shows have sex scenes?

CW - The 100 🔥 (I know there was a minimum of 2 wlw sex scenes, though they may have been post-coital)

CW - Riverdale 🔥🔥 is another teen show that I don't watch so I youtubed "Riverdale sex scenes" and I'm led to believe at least one couple is banging semi-onscreen well into season 4 (it has 4 seasons???)

NBC - Chicago Med 🔥, a procedural show not about teenagers and seems to have a least 1 couple with sexy scenes (the other Chicagos air at 9pm and 10pm) and I saw lap sitting for a hardcore makeout for the other couple!!!!! TIM TAKE NOTES!

NBC - Superstore 🔥, a half-hour comedy that played at 8pm on NBC, did have at least this one cut-away sex scene

So 2 teen shows, 1 procedural and 1 comedy all had something in the way of "sex scenes" while airing at 8pm.

But what if Fox the network is the sex-scene-killers??

Apparently Fox literally has only 5 scripted dramas of which the 911 is one and the others are:

The Resident 🔥🔥, a medical drama that plays at 8pm as of season 2 (9pm for season 1) and the main couple seem to have several sex scenes, but interestingly from what I can glean from YT, they may have stopped after s2 (though the couple stays together until at least s4 from what I can tell)

LA's Finest 🚫, a rebroadcast through Fox, it airs at 9pm and YT didn't show me any sexy scenes

Fantasy Island 🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm and looks to have sexier content based on the trailer

911: Lone Star 🔥🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm. Tarlos have had like 2 heavy makeouts/implied sex scenes plus a pretty hardcore-for-tv sex scene in the s2 finale

So it seems like even for Fox, the 8pm timeslot isn't necessarily what's vetoing the sex scenes in 911. But just to hammer that home, I did even more researching into the watershed hours, which is apparently the designated time broadcasters can show sexiness, but in the US that's 10pm to 6am so if the restrictions were such that they couldn't show any sex scenes before 10pm, Tarlos wouldn't have gotten that finale action (thank you, IRL bff who watched 911LS so I didn't have to!)

TL;DR - a summation of our findings

The 8pm timeslot is not the sex-scene-killer I once thought it was (see: all them filthy shows)

911 being a cop show is not a sex-scene-killer (see: dramas, procedurals and comedies all had sex scenes)

Fox is not anti-sex in their 8pm scripted dramas in general (see: The Resident)

Fox is not anti-sex homophobically (see: Tarlos, Hen/Eva)

However!! There seems to be a somewhat weird, somewhat isolated trend of Fox shows either cutting off or tapering off sex scenes (see: 911, The Resident) after 2 seasons or specifically after 2019.

So what are the theories (from least to most favourite)?

Theory #1 (Buddie loses 🚫): "Something" happened at Fox in 2019. The Resident is the only true analogue to 911 as it's also on Fox, also premiered in January 2018, also started at 9pm but was moved to 8pm (in season 2, not season 3 like 911). If my very brief googling can be trusted, The Resident saw a lot of sex scenes in season 2 (at 8pm) but after 2019 there isn't much to write home about. That lines up with what we've seen in 911. If something happened internally at Fox that changed broadcasting guidelines for 8pm, then canon Buddie will not get sex scenes unless the timeslot changes back.

Pros: It would be a hell of a coincidence wouldn't it?? Both shows airing around the same time, both stop showing sex scenes around the same time???

Cons: It's pretty weak, I can't find anything that supports "something" happening in 2019 that would affect an 8pm timeslot but not the 9pm one.

Theory #2 (Buddie loses 🚫): Sex as a short-term sales tactic. Fox uses sex in the first two seasons of shows to boost ratings and get people hooked because sex sells. But then, for whatever reason, they taper it off. If so, Buddie being canonized would not produce any sex scenes as we're far removed from season 2.

Pros: The Resident and 911 both stopped showing sex scenes after season 2 from what I can gather

Cons: If sex sells, why wouldn't it keep selling all the way to the bank?? There's no reason to stop something that's working.

Theory #3 (Buddie wins 🔥): Actors are the roadblock. Fox is fine with sex scenes at 8pm but the actors aren't comfortable! If so, Buddie sex scenes could be in the cards as both actors have had on-screen sex scenes previously.

Pros: Angela Bassett, Peter Krause and JLH are bigger names and they presumably get to not get naked on screen or simulate sex scenes if they don't want to. Aisha Hinds as a (criminally) smaller name wouldn't have had that kind of leverage in season 1, nor would Ryan Guzman in season 2? And Oliver Stark knew what he was signing up to to play a self-diagnosed "sex addict" so.

Cons: This is absolute, complete conjecture. I have zero idea what each of their comfort levels with sex scenes are or how that might relate to the writing/direction of their characters.

Theory #4 (Buddie wins 🔥): Stable canon relationships kill sex. Fox dramas use sex only pre-maritally to build relationships and the network or the showrunners/writers decide it's not as important once characters are in stable relationships/married. If so, we will get Buddie sex scenes as their canon relationship develops.

Pros: The Resident couple did get married post-season 2 I think? Athena stopped having onscreen sex after she married Bobby. Hen had sex but out of her marriage.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone. And we technically do have a Madney sex scene, tame as it was (but maybe they straddle of the line of stable but pre-marital???). Also if sex = building relationship, EddieAna have been excluded from that formula oops 😌

Theory #5 (Buddie wins 🔥): We're overthinking all of this. There hasn't been sex scenes past season 2 because the stories haven't called for it but when it does, such as the start of a new relationship, then we'll get some!

Pros: We haven't had any "new" relationships other than EddieAna since season 2 and their lack of intimacy is a glaring reminder they aren't well suited - they're not boning for plot reasons. While not strictly meeting the aforementioned definition of a "sex scene", we could use Albert coming out of Veronica's shower as a use of sex-as-relationship-building.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone, the sequel. Especially since HenRen is criminally neglected in terms of development and could use a fun playful sex scene.

So what have we learned?

Should Buddie go canon, 3 theories indicate we'd get some sex scenes for them, and only 2 say we wouldn't. The odds are in our favour. 🤡

I will do literally anything to procrastinate writing this damn fic that's been tormenting me for weeks. Please someone, anybody...send help...

#buddie meta #buddie #911 meta #are you also kept awake at night by the thought of canon buddie without sex scenes??#or even lap sitting makeouts????#well rest your weary head on this qualitative data analysis friends!! the future looks 60% bright!#911 reference #my posts #did you know we could add colour to text now guys?? did you know the mac keyboard comes default with emoticons??#the things I learned this night

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