#sorry I'm just very emotional over this

[charlieshandmaiiden]

Remember this??

Now look at this

#i am shaking help #he lied. because he wanted him really really bad #well he didn't but in cas' eyes!!!! #and then he kicked him out😵😵😵 #sorry I'm just very emotional over this #pposting #spn #season 9 #spn 5x03 #spn 9x03 #EXACTLY 4 SEASONS LATER WHAAAAAAAT #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #p.edit #kinda

[turtlecleric]

.

#(huge relieved sigh) #I'm emotional over the little community that I get to participate in here #been on Tumblr over 10 years #been in multiple fandoms that I've made content for #and this is the first time I've experienced this level of interaction and community #first time I've had mutuals and had that actually mean something #I'm still terrified of unknowingly doing something rude or wrong or annoying (which is why I struggle so much to tag people) but #idk I'm starting to feel braver #I'm actually getting emotional thinking about it #sorry I'm just #maybe rereading symphony and noticing how lonely Violist-chan is has got me focused on how lonely I am too #and yeah it's not like I'm anyone's actual friend on here but just being able to interact and participate and be welcomed is... #idk #there's this gnawing ache in my chest all the time but this little community brings me sparks of joy that I haven't felt in a long time #sorry ignore me I'm just #i don't know #I'm trying to express my gratitude but I'm not doing a very good job #if anyone actually reads this just know I'm trying to say thank you for being nice and for letting me be feral over turtles with you #and i hope you're all having a good day

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

ugh GOD the idea that a man makes a woman feel small and weaponizes her desires against her to maintain the upper hand and protect his own fragile ego due to his own insecurities I am SEETHING 🤬

#i'm sorry but everytime the discourse comes up #it just makes me think of my friend and her ex #and sitting on her bathroom floor weeks before her wedding and her pouring out all the stuff she'd kept inside for two years #which is why i think i'm already so emotional over ttpd because again #it all just feels very iykyk #why are men lol

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

Hi! I was wondering what you think about Augustin's sexuality esp during the getting pinned down/almost killed by Paddy scene=) I think he seems to enjoy it for a second, then gets annoyed and throws out the wife and kid line. But he also seems SO intrigued by him afterwards. Is he just comfortable in his sexuality?

hello anon first of all I am sorry for taking so long to answer this, it has been sitting in my brain for a long time. second of all mwah smooching you on the forehead for giving me an opportunity to ramble about my special boy

I am gonna preface this with the fact that while we do get a decent enough look at Augustin in the only two episodes we have him in, we do only have him around for two episodes. this means that a lot of my personal way of characterising Augustin is extrapolated from the little information we have, or from what I think makes a nice contrast with Paddy, because obviously those two are meant to be foils/parallels/mirrors/whatever it was that they were gonna do with them before the rewrites. replying to this ask is basically me explaining the process behind some of this extrapolation, because I think about Augustin Jordan a regular amount.

I personally find the way Augustin relates to his sexuality just... fascinating. on my first watch of The Sand Wrestling scene, my first impression was that the guy had to be ridiculously touch starved, because, like. it is undeniable that, even for just a few seconds, he was enjoying himself there. and okay, intricate rituals and homoeroticism and all of those things, but even then, Paddy is literally holding a knife to his throat. that should make you a little tense even if you are into sweaty wrestling with hot poets! and instead, Augustin is relaxing into it. as soon as the immediate fear goes away, he fucking melts under Paddy for a few seconds, and that's when the annoyance kicks in, after which his reactions seem a little more - contained, almost? he generally moves less and starts shushing Paddy, and then when he gets up shortly after he looks SO irritated (which is also so funny imo - my guy was just pinned to the ground with a knife to his throat by a guy who's famously insane and the most negativity he can muster is 'well that was annoying'). but of course, as you point out, after that, he is very obviously intrigued by Paddy - he's SO delighted when he realises that Paddy did just invite him to play russian roulette to prove a point, and in that entire scene he alternates between "my man you are insane what the hell" and "my man you are insane what the hell 👀". and the most obvious explanation for this is, ok, he's just very touch starved. sometimes it's just nice being held, even if that involves being threatened with a knife, you know? BUT WE KNOW HE'S NOT TOUCH STARVED. becuase we see him be physically affectionate with the rest of the French! he's not a loner who hasn't had any human touch in years!

which leads me to go, ok, well, then he's got to be very repressed. because that scene is quite sexual, blah blah blah homoeroticism of violence, while the rest of the affection we see him share with the others reads, at least to me, as very platonic. SO there is definitely some layer of repression going on - but I don't think it's a blanket repression of his sexuality. he's too confident later, when he goes up to Paddy and basically asks him if he's single while smoking his slutty little cigarette, to be someone who altogether panics at the concept of being into men. so WHY does he seem so irritated in the sand wrestling scene, and why does he throw in that line about having a wife and child? and I think the answer is that Augustin is a fairly controlled person. take the very composed confidence with which he shuts down Paddy's quoting TS Eliot at him, take the way he explains very flatly that they are used to following orders, take the fact that what he says to Paddy after the russian roulette is that they are here to defeat fascism, such a weirdly rational, to-the-point reaction to that entire interaction. he's upset in that moment, but he's getting himself together. he is very upset later, in episode 5, when he realises they've been betrayed, and even then, he keeps it together when he realises what Halevy is going to do, enough to encourage him and get himself out of there. Augustin is good at keeping it together, but here is the other thing - I think it's a facade. I think he's actually EXTREMELY intense, and this controlled rationality is not natural, it's learned. I am not sure why he would - though, again, I would guess that being gay in the 30s and 40s does all sorts of things to you - but I think he's taught himself to keep it together. and I think that's WHY he's so fascinated with Paddy, because Paddy is all but controlled. Paddy is a lot less insane than most people frame him as, but he is a wild, unbridled flood of emotion - especially when Augustin meets him, after Eoin, when the lines between feigned and real insanity start to blur. and I think seeing someone that's both so similar and so different from him is both scary and intoxicating for Augustin. imagine you spent your whole life teaching yourself to control your emotions and keep it together and then you meet a guy that's you, but whose heart is on his sleeve and constantly bleeding. terrifying, sure, but MAN, it must be a sight to behold.

and I think if you look at the sand wrestling scene from that angle, it makes it all make sense. he goes from the first moment of panic to elation to annoyance - and I think the annoyance is mostly at himself, because he's caught himself slipping, he's caught himself experiencing that rush of fear and adrenaline and probably attraction with a little too much pleasure. and that's why he says that he has a wife and child - not really because it's the being gay that he's repressing, but because he's kind of panicking at that flood of emotion (I personally believe he's lying in that moment - I know that it's possible that his file saying otherwise was just a mistake, but it's waaaay more interesting to me if he's lying. and, for what it's worth, the guy doesn't wear a wedding ring, on his hand or around his neck or anywhere else the costume department could have put it on him to signal that he's married). but later on, when he goes up to Paddy that evening, he's had enough time to kind of rationalise that emotion and slot it in a "well, yeah, that was kind of hot, but that's normal! regular body reaction to being pinned down by a hot man. nothing to unpack here", which obviously, insane thing to think, but it probably works for him, and I think that's why that relaxed confidence is back (of course, kinda too late by this point - my man is insane and now he's smitten).

so, tl;dr: I think Augustin is comfortable in his sexuality in the sense that I don't personally think he has too much of a problem with being attracted to men, but I do think he has a problem with, sort of, intense emotions and desire that he can't really control, and that's why he gets kind of irritated in that one scene. at the same time, he probably does want to break out of that strict control he's put himself in, which explains why he's immediately so taken with Paddy.

#this is over 1000 words jesus christ. all i can say is i am sorry. except i am not really i love talking about my special boy #i hope this vaguely answered your question anon. i think about augustin jordan a regular amount #sas rogue heroes #augustin jordan #paddy x augustin #oscar answers questions #idk i just think. augustin being both the same and the opposite to paddy in the sense that he's just as intense but wayyyyy more controlled #to the point of repression #is the most fascinating way to think about the two of them #because that way they can kind of influence each other either way #because i feel like paddy feels his emotions a lot but in a way where they tend to explode in his face #while augustin keeps a tight lid on them but in a way that's suffocating #so with their powers combined. a functional human maybe #i feel like this was a very paddy/augustin answer but like! i'm sorry you're not gonna convince me that augustin wasn't sooo into him! #like you can make an argument for paddy because he was still grieving eoin and that's messy but! augustin had such an embarrassing crush

[phantastragoria]

do you have a favourite portrayal of a character in the gotg game!! who is it and why <3

Oh I think they're all great honestly!!! Part of why I love the game so much is that genuinely, the whole team + supporting characters are written with such obvious love of the source material and equal attention between them all. When I see comments of people saying who their favorite character was from the game and the answer always being different from each person I'm like!! That's how it SHOULD be!!! They're the Guardians of the Galaxy (plural) the focus shouldn't all fall on a singular character like most other GotG media usually ends up as 😭

The two (sorry I can't pick just one) whom I think benefit the most from the game though are Drax and Gamora because they're almost always sidelined both in-and-out of universe by most of the various writers (especially as of late) and in turn the viewers/readers. I've been told plenty of times that they're the most boring members of the "main" team, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! The amount of love the game versions get (by the few who've played it at least) proves that 🥺

I've never really liked 616 Drax shifting to being a complete clown during the 90s and such (and even less so when the MCU followed along 💀) So I appreciate the game taking a bit of his seriousness from the DnA run and just making him struggle with nuance and context clues in a less exaggerated way (autistic Drax I still believe in u) and I feel the focus put on him and how losing his original family + the aftermath deeply affected him hits pretty hard here because it's treated very seriously and shown in depth, especially with how his family (wife) gets actual focus. I cannot tell you anything about Yvette in comparison to Hovat, who actually seemed to have had a personality lol (AND she was on their village's council like omg imagine having more to you than just being The Housewife) Though I will say I flip and flop on my thoughts about Heather being disconnected from Drax's life in this universe... The TLDR is that I think his arc here specifically works stronger when he has to come to terms with losing his entire family and accepting the life he currently has with the Guardians. BUT!!! I very much appreciate that Heather is still confirmed to exist within this universe, even if that means her dad issues would have to be dealt with in a different context if we ever get to see her.

Also? Shoutout to the writers actually bringing up the intense paranoia that always kneecapped 616 Drax but having that be a turning point in his backstory here, with that conversation he has with Peter where he talks about how he was becoming so paranoid of everyone being a chitauri/Thanos conspirator to the point of literally turning into an obsessed maniac like Thanos, and realizing that he desperately needed to turn his life around, it's so ough.

Out of the already many great conversations throughout the game, I think the ones with him are the most poignant. My favorite scene in the whole game is Drax and Pete's little moment on Knowhere... makes me go wahhh

(l also love that out of everyone on the team, it's his headspace that we quite literally get to go into. You KNOW that if this was any other media it'd be going into Rocket or Groot's head and likely treated as a joke.)

And oh my god, Gamora...

I find it so extremely refreshing that her role in the plot doesn't revolve purely around the men in her life, and instead, it's nearly exclusively her connection with other women. Or in the most direct obstacle she has to deal with, being how she starts projecting to the millionth degree on Nikki's situation for reminding her of what happened to her and Nebula. I find that infinitely more fascinating as a reading of her character rather than just dating drama or her arc getting completely overtaken by a man's instead.

And especially in her friendship with Mantis, who, despite having all these futures she's constantly seeing and having to navigate, still makes time to do her best to help her 🥺 From saving her life and being the one who put her on the path to healing on Lamentis, to getting her to join the Guardians and still checking in on her when she's able 😭 Friendship between women can be so powerful... u love to see it (🏳️‍🌈)

I also find it nice that there's this emphasis on her recovering mentally, and the comparison between Thanos essentially teaching her to just Deal with the shit in her life through very simplistic meditation versus the priests of Pama actually teaching her something to help soothe the mind :^( and that she still has moments of relapsing essentially. I find that to be a realistic take on recovery because that's just part of the journey since healing is not linear... and I think it's very sweet that she finds comfort in collecting something ---girly--- like dolls. Love to see a person reclaim a part of their childhood that they weren't allowed to experience. And how she's allowed to make BAD JOKES?? Imagine a woman being written to have multiple dimensions, crazy and absolutely unthinkable, I know.

There's this extremely specific theme in relation to Gamora across media that's been rattling around in my brain since first playing the game. When near the end during the revisit to Knowhere, she's about to completely lose it when Peter tries talking -for- her on what she's so upset about before immediately shooting him down, and she explains what happened between her and Nebula and she starts crying. It really struck me right then that she's never given a moment to cry elsewhere (or in the 616's case, the quite literal inability to.) aside from her shedding a Single Manly Tear (Original Sin) or a single moment out of legit fear (MCU 💀) because she's a hashtag Strong Independant Woman who can't be vulnerable etc etc. But for her to cry in front of the people she's come to care about, It gives her a moment of true vulnerability that I don't think she's allowed ever in most other media.

That and all of the above hits hard and is what makes me genuinely believe that the writers cared about her in the narrative and tried to do right by her when every other bit of media really hasn't nor cared to the majority of the time since the 90s :'^/ Brings a tear to my eye that she's allowed to just... exist in the narrative on her own merits and not on what she can provide to someone else's story.

#lex thoughts #gotg thoughts #universe: eidos game #gotg2008 #sorry for asking for a question then immediately disappearing for a month 💔 I'm on the most stressful roadtrip ever #i 🫶 you for asking about them though the Eidos gotg are my everything and i won't shut up about them if given the chance #very funny to me that all these important moments happen on Knowhere. Strange things can happen at the end of the universe. #The end page of W&tIW 09 is the only other Gamora moment of vulnerability across media that i can specifically pinpoint #But it's more self reflection in a way of a heavily traumatic experience that I don't feel ever truly got resolved within the 616 IMO #And I find it a specific point to be made when Gamora is/isn't allowed to feel or literally denied things that are stereotypically- #-categorized as -feminine- (which is dumb to assign gender roles to a simple human emotion such as CRYING.- #-But you get what I mean I hope) We play fast and loose with gender around here pardner I think all of the gotg should cry more #but in Gamora's case specifically it Hits Different knowing her past and treatment throughout media #i could also heavily go into the way the game adapts Peter's character in relation to his element guns but that's an essay for another time #just because -i- find that extremely fascinating doesn't mean i think he should particularly be the main focus (and he isnt) #bc pete rocket and groot are the ones that already get all the attention (even if i dont agree with how they're written elsewhere) #i just find it more engaging for the other two main characters of the team that always get sidelined by the writers actually being put in- #-the spotlight with equal attention given to them for once to be sooo -shakes fist #sorry for the intense word salad i hope i make sense lol ESSAY/RANT OVER .🤐

[tigirl-and-co]

I definitely vastly prefer book covers that depict scenery from the world of the book or a far-away painting of an important scene in dramatic colours to book covers that are just like. Here's a character. Maybe they're doing something idk

#titi talks #i saw somebody say the french covers of the underland chronicles were better so i looked at em #and i'm like no???? those are mid at BEST #the first run of american curse of the warmbloods has a big bucking scary lizard #peering out from the jungle and looming over some bones and it rules hard and is very cohesive #and the next cover has an impressionistic painting of the ant army scene in teal and red #it's SO DOPE #the french cover has like. white boy. anthro rat. cockroach. they are standing back to back vaguely emoting at some beagle-sized ants #SORRY TO RANT lmao i just have very strong opinions #baby me probably would not have ever picked up the series we had the french covers #instead of that BEAUTIFUL painting of regalia

[suddencolds]

hi hi vanessa! what anime have u been watching recently? looking for recs to kill some time (may or may not also be for fetish purposes ehehe)

Hi anon!!! This is such a fun question, and I'm sad to say you caught me at a time where I have a very boring answer to it T.T It's already late April, but I've finished a total of two (😭) animes this year. (So few, I know! I wish I had more to recommend you 💔)

Between work and everything else, it's just been a hectic time... (I also have a couple I have to get around to finishing 😭😭 I've been putting off watching the last few eps of J//JK s2, because the friends that I've watched the rest of s2 with have been busy. I also started Fri//eren back in January; I just haven't found time to get back to it 😵‍💫)

I did finish Cher//y Magic! 🍒 (Though if you're sending me this message, I feel like you probably have already seen it around?). It's such a cute, fluffy romance/slice of life, that—despite its fantastical premise—is actually quite grounded, imo... a very cozy watch overall <3

I've also been wanting to watch Shi//guang Dai//liren (Link Click) at some point! I was also talking about watching Sa//saki to Mi//yano with a friend (if you're reading this, hi!)

Anime-wise, I have nothing to offer you on the snz front 🙇‍♀️ I have been very bad about setting aside time for myself to watch things. BUT if you ever watch any of the aforementioned shows, and want to talk abt them with someone... or if you want to watch/read something with me book-club-style... please feel free to hit me up :D

#ask #okay no one should read these tags but #i recently finished reading th//e su//nshin//e c//our//t which is like a spinoff for a trilogy that was written 10 years ago #i read the original trilogy way back #my relationship with the series is too complicated to get into. i'll just say: if anyone writes anything for that series i will be 👁️👁️ #SPRINTING OVER TO READ. esp if it's for j//ean. but i don't expect any interest #i feel like i have been walled off from enjoying media in a snz sense... or even just hyperfixating on things w the intensity i used to 😭 #and that's been true for awhile #i think a part of it is that i am already spread too thin over all the things i have to do atm #though maybe i'm just getting older haha #and i think a small part of me is reserving emotional space for y + v because i REALLY WANT TO HIT 75K WORDS FOR THEM 😭😭😭 #i am singleminded i know... & bad at emotionally context switching #as a side note. i recently started watching re//born r//ich w my partner! it's not an anime but i loooveeeee a well written smart mc >:) #okay i think i am done now... very sorry for rambling 🙏 thank you for the excellent question anon

[lemonadehtwooh]

Van Gogh, they named a gecko after you. You loved animals, didn't you? They named a gecko after you. It's called "Cnemaspis vangoghi". It's very beautiful, I hope it thrives

I hope you know how many people love you today, and that we grieve you still. I hope you know that they named a gecko after your paintings, that we love your paintings

#I'm crying over Van Gogh again #Help me I'm just so emotional over him #I relate to him A Lot more than I should #I think about his death a lot more than I should #He was recovering ): and his death was so sudden #I still think about the theory that some boys had accidentally shot him and he didn't say anything to protect them #Either way. I just think about Van Gogh a lot #van gogh #Cnemaspis vangoghi #I love his art. I even have a necklace my brother gave me of his painting of sunflowers #Sunflowers is my favorite painting #Additionally. The actual flower of sunflowers are my favorites. Along with white roses #I also made a painting of my late guinea pig in the style of Van Gogh for a painting class I took in high school #It's my favorite painting I made. Ever #Do you think Van Gogh would have liked my painting of my guinea pig? #Do you think he would be happy that people are inspired by him? #Sorry. I'm just very emotional atm

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I knew I'd be emotional watching the end of HSMTMTS but I didn't think I'd be a literal sobbing mess. Repeatedly. At many different points throughout the last two episodes. This series kinda grew up with me through highschool. Like I remember the night my dad got Disney+ in December of my freshman year and I was ECSTATIC to stay up late watching every episode that had come out up to that point. And now here I am sitting here in bed sobbing over it's finale a week and a half before I move into college. I'm so happy to see how far both the show, all the characters, and myself have come since then. Like who would have thought that me sitting there watching like the first 3 episodes would have expected that in 4 years I would both have a beloved Disney show that has 5 queer characters and that I myself would be queer too. It's kinda funny how that worked actually. To be unabashedly cheesy just like the show, I loved this show so much and it wrapped up so so sweetly. I'm so glad it exists and will cherish it forever.

#I'm sorry I'm just very emotional over this show #hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 4 #hsmtmts spoilers #i guess just to cover the bases #morgan gets sentimental

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[polyphonial-old]

@maileesque iblings......

[image id: two sketches of my ocs. the one on the left is cass, a girl with straight long hair and bangs. she has big round eyes and a button nose. she smiles at the viewer, her hair and cape flowing behind her. she holds a smiling mask halfway covering her face with one hand and waves with the other.

the one on the right is a bust drawing of ed, a guy. he has a nose with a bump, thin lips, a hooded eye with an eyebag under it, and a spiky eyebrow. his straight, slightly spiky hair goes down to the base of his neck and half of it is pulled back, indicated by a little doodle of his side profile. he also has a splash shaped scar covering the left side of his face and stretching down to the side of his neck and shoulder. his left eye is not open fully due to his scar. end id.]

#olly scribbles #oc tag #ty for indulging me <33 i've had these laying around for a while djfkhjfgd #their full names are cassiopeia and edward and they're sooo. #like. they are all my anguish over siblings in media condensed into two characters #they're basically opposites but so so devoted to each other and. ohhghg #! lore dump from this point on ! #ed is so smart but he can't do magic and cass is a magic battery but she's always depended on him for magic theory #she's super extroverted and very emotional as in. easy to anger easy to calm #he's not that much of an introvert he just kind of hates everyone lol #very closed off and bitter and he will keep his promises and grudges to his grave #short story long is that she joins aurelius (the villain) and ed follows her but surprise surprise! the evil suspicious guy is evil and #basically later kidnaps ed's crush (kai) to do experiments on him and ed helps break kai out and runs away himself #so. think claudia and soren #it's more complicated than this but he and kai also have a sort of percy-nico pact in which kai promises to save cass #but ultimately (spoiler) he has to kill her. which. um yeah. #ed has very complicated feelings about everything but he's justified in them is what i'm saying #also did i mention ed's a cane user. and that he gets to beat people up with his cane? bc he does #sorry for rambling SO MUCH jksdfgkfhjkdkj i am unwell over them. as you can probably tell

[fernflowerss]

I have grown to despise dream as a person but I have to give it to him. Without him none of this would have happened.

In two years I made so many memories, friends, art. Thanks to him I had the best time of my life during summer of 21.

So yes

Thank you dream for bringing together a group of people that deeply changed me as a person.

And more importantly thank you Tommy, thank you wilbur, thank you philza, ranboo, tubbo, jack, eret quackity and many more

For this crazy, held together by tape, weird, amazing story, your creativity has been of such great inspiration for the best online community I have ever been part of.

And to techno, thank you most of all. For the past two years you have been my primary source of comfort along with your brothers. I will always be grateful to you.

#i'm sorry this last stream made me emotional. #I thought I was over these silly streamers but apparently I very much am not #it's just a little thought I wanted to quickly write down #i wish I could write something more meaningful #take my time #but yeah #i'm not really the type to do that #and it's not that the people this is aimed at are gonna see this so #yeah #dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #tubbo #wilbur soot #philza #lmanberg #ranboo #technoblade #technoblade never dies

[falinscloaca]

today's jjk ep

#jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jujutsu kaisen anime and manga spoilers #i didn't even flinch tbh #and i skipped some of the flashback so i was legit like 'oh the episodes already gonna end HERE???' #i'm not getting emotional about that crap until an episode comes out confirming she's dead!!!! #i say sitting on my ass forever because gege is a little wierdo who just never fucking bothered to do that #(at this point the Her situation in jjk is unsalvageable. the only thing the author COULD do thats at all narratively built-up-at-all would #be to have her get taken over by kenjacku. but like. that'd fucking SUCK STILL so like whatever #should've just said she was dead insteada introducing a whole new character that would then never show back up with a power specifically #designed only to leave her in a relative state of limbo) #(well that and keep yuji from dying worse. but like. honestly that wasn't very necessary we could believe yuji survived getting his ass #handed to him by mahito anyway we did it before) #literally each new chapter her coming back gets less and less likely at this point. its over. who gives a shit. #akutami came up with a fucking GOLDEN character and just kinda dropped her down a toilet. didn't even flush it correctly just let us wait. #narratively i don't HATE the idea of her dying even! but good GOD it should've been two-thirds through the story rather than roughly halfwa #also just #i fuckin hate megumi #sorry hes just kinda boring! todo was right!! #theres good things IN his character but god it feels like he only exists to be a wet blanket #a wet blanket that WORKED GREAT WITH THE MORE BALANCED CORE CAST! #BUT ONCE THEY'RE FUCKING GONE ITS. NOTHING. #i LOVE yuji he's great but without other characters to foil him he's just... not enough #and none of the post-shibuya cast has really been able to carry that for him. #especially since we only briefly ever saw him and choso like.. be around each other??? #yuji is lovely he's great he's my scrimbly but without other characters to bond with he's just not nutritious enough!!!!! #its like an incomplete protein!!! you gotta pair him with something else!!!! #coughnotmegumieither #and GOD the shit with Hana and the kinda-just-bullshit-when-you-haven't-even-confirmed-shes-dead 'scared she'd replace nobara' crap #'wow this is a character i could probably actually like if she wasn't buried under an introductory heaping of wierd pseudo-misogyny' #ALSO WHERE THE FUCK IS *TODO*

[welcometogrouchland]

It's either coming up to my period again OR I've just developed a disease where I get misty eyed at even the most banal sequences and scenes in ghibli movies. I was crying during the early parts of ponyo

#ramblings of a lunatic #ponyo is not a very emotional movie i just kept being like #OUGHHH LITTLE BABY...LITTLE BABY HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HIS MOM WHILE HIS DAD IS AWAY AT SEA...OUGH LITTLE FISH GIRL #nothing as bad as when i was crying during every scene in kikis delivery service tho lmao #i still haven't seen very many ghibli movies but they're all pretty wonderful #i had another art exam today so i think I'm gonna chill for the rest of the night now that's i watched the cute fish movie #I'll watch something new soon (i am eyeing that movie ever after 👁️👁️ sorry i still can't kick the fairytale spinterest revival rn) #but until then I'm gonna have fun #be silly hehe #I'm also at a weird place with my toh hyperfix where like. i went through intense pre-grief (is that?? what it's called) #like. near the beginning of the month #just being so so sad about it ending and the inevitable fandom dwindle that'll come with that (OBJECTIVE WORST PART!!!) #but that pre-grief was so intense that now I'm at a weird place of peace with it #once the shows over I'll probably start being able to actually like. watch and read other things now hsbdjdhfk #but i imagine it'll stay my main interest (to u guys. I'm more complex irl) for a good while (i wanna make more art i wanna try writing!!!) #just with other stuff spliced in as it comes (i wanna get back on reading sailor moon. maybe check in on deltarune again) #(TRY and get back into tlt again. hell maybe I'll check in on comics again! who knows) #but tbh as long as i find toh on my dash i doubt I'll ever really leave it behind lol #again- a relatively positive fandom experience plus a deep connection with the work is a recipe for me being Not Normal forever #I'm. making less sense as this goes on #anyway. you get it! I'm a big cry baby but also I'm at a state of peace for the moment. yeehaw

[bunn-iiii]

Absolutely fucking crazy about George Ryan Ross the III

#I'm genuinely crying over him /srs #george ryan ross iii #Ryan Ross #i miss him #ryan ross i miss you and love you so much #please show signs of life #please I'm listening to all of pretty odd again and again rn #i want to google how to summon ryan ross #i went on a 10 minute text rant abt him in my fav discord server #I'm #very comforted by him and emotional about him #ryan please come back #i sound like an estranged ex or something #but I'm not #I'm just a random guy that really likes Ryan Ross #and i know this is really parasocial and soory about that but also I'm not sorry #unless ryan finds this then i am sorry #panic at the disco #ryan ross patd #ryan ross #ryan patd

[zuzu-draws]

sending lots of hugs your way :''3

Thanks, i really needed those. The shock is starting to wear off and i'm getting more and more... emotional :"D How...do they expect us to enjoy this week's Gojo episode when Gege pulled this in the manga. I didn't like to admit it but i did have a soft spot for him, damnit.

#I'm sorry but yeah i'm lowkey tearing up over him now too #re-reading his flashback sequence and getting to the point where he waves Goodbye.. #I just can't #i can't hold back the tears when i get to that part.. #It's stupid to cry over fictional characters i know but something about stories and becoming so well-immersed in them is beautiful #These characters act as a sort of friend and emotional support for many people around the world #and although Gojo may have not been mine i still adored him to a very big extent #I was willing to see Sukuna get smacked around for 10-11 chapters for the ending of the fight to be satisfying and to NOT have it end on #Gojo's death ; especially the brutal way he had to go; Gege really did not pull back any punches ; This was the most unexpected thing. #i'm still lowkey hoping gojo makes a binding vow ;sacrificing his limitless+6 eyes in return for getting his body healed up and to- SURVIV #That would be a great way to keep him around please Gege just..don't let him die like this..His kids need him. #Nerf him Sure ; Make him second to Sukuna in terms of being the strongest but don't actually kill him off like that ah :') #I guess this means that Gojo is my no.2 Favourite character in JJK i can't really deny it anymore #ooc #answered ask #thanks for asking! #<3 hugs for you too incase you're suffering too