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xanvasofxords · 1 year

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Thoughts On SaiTeru & Why It Makes Sense To Me

Honestly speaking, I wasn’t too big on this ship but over the time, it has definitely grown a lot on me and I’d actually like if they took that route. Mainly because Saiki ending up with someone other than Kokomi wouldn’t make sense, after all the progression they went through, ending up with each other is natural. Besides, whatever Kokomi wills eventually happens so if I had to guess I’d go with the prior lol. That aside, imo they fit each other the best.

I haven’t done ship analysis posts before so the sequence is pretty messy but I’ll try to keep it as organised as possible so it’s easier to read. Let’s start anyways :

Starting off with the very thing that places Kokomi at the top of the food-chain : her charms. Due to Saiki’s x-ray vision, that ability is rendered completely useless against him. As a result, Saiki recognises her for her true self and knows her inside out. While he’s aware of her flaws, he also witnesses her growth as a person. She makes true friends and starts to enjoy their company and care about them. For Saiki, she stops dreaming about marrying a rich guy and rejects Saiko.

Kokomi even gives up on playing the perfect pretty girl which she has been doing for years, just for his sake.

Likewise, Saiki’s psychic powers have little to no effect on Kokomi because she’s loved by the God himself and she gets whatever she wants. Regardless of how hard Saiki tries to win against her, he always ends up losing instead, all the while her likability with him increases.

Her efforts in her role, her wits and abilities surprise him enough to make him wonder if she’s actually perfect. He even goes as far as to say that they’re invincible together. Saiki goes from being half-scared of her powers to fully acknowledging and admiring her by the end.

Before Kokomi, Saiki has dealt with people who had crush on him- Imu and Chiyo. He made them give up on him with ease which resulted into him believing that it’s easy to move people’s hearts. Kokomi however, breaks that misconception by moving his own and shows him that she loves him just as he is and that won’t change.

And it’s because he’s aware that her feelings are genuine, unlike the other two, he stops resisting her completely and starts avoiding possible misunderstandings. When Kokomi changes herself to suit his tastes, Saiki doesn’t actively try to make her give up on him instead tries to revert her back to her usual self. He isn’t bothered by her feelings for him anymore, rather prefers her the way she is.

There are only a few times in the show when Saiki gets nervous. Even Nendou and Kusuke who he can’t use his telepathy on, don’t have that effect on him. Yet being alone with Kokomi makes him nervous. Prior to the mixer event, Saiki has been alone with her on more than one occasion. After that day however, Saiki’s perception of Kokomi changes. He’s aware that she truely loves him and won’t give up on him no matter how indifferent he acts towards her. It’s fairly new to him, accepting the fact that someone loves him despite all the odds and she actually manages to make him happy because of it.

Just like how Kokomi gives up on the most important thing for Saiki, being perfect that is, he does the same for her. Saiki hates drawing attention to himself and he puts a lot of efforts in that. However, he gives up on that without a moment’s thought and catches Kokomi in his arms in front of the entire school and takes her to the infirmary. There couldn’t be any better way to draw attention.

My point remains the same even if I don’t include this because Kokomi’s beauty has always been irrelevant in their relationship and this is the first and only time we see Saiki being attracted to someone. Ironically, Saiki reacts to seeing Kokomi just as any other guy would and he’s too transparent about it. Not to Kokomi but to the readers.

From time to time, Kokomi’s likability with Saiki increases to such point where he subconsciously sees her differently than others. I’m sure there are people who would disagree because Saiki makes exceptions for all his friends and Kokomi shouldn’t be different. There are multiple counter to that arguement.

One of the two is when Saiki turns invisible and shares a drink with Kokomi. Honestly, whatever happened in that chapter doesn’t make sense in the least.

Saiki has gone out of his way to get Kokomi’s valentines chocolates. I can say that’s because he loves sweets. He buys her a birthday gift : the cat mug, I can reason that he even got Chiyo a soft toy back when she was dating Takeru to make their relationship last. Several times he has gone out of his way to check up on his friends such as when Aren received a fake love letter or when Kaido and Chiyo had a misunderstanding and stayed with them the entire time to make sure everything was alright.

However, this time the only thing he has to do is avoid her and go home. Kokomi isn’t in any trouble nor does she need his help for anything. So he succeeds the moment he manages to lose her by getting up in the air. All he needs to do his teleport home.

But he doesn’t. We don’t know why.

He just turns invisible which saves him from the men searching for him, again he can teleport home or even walk home. But he just decides to sit there with her and share her drink for some reason and leaves only when she thinks of doing the same. Which is outright ridiculous because he could just leave the moment Kokomi lost him but he does the opposite and does exactly what Kokomi wanted on his own free will except, differently.

Last but not the least, the most significant moment is when Saiki hears Kokomi’s voice in the end. Having read the manga, it’s clear that Kokomi’s part is supposed to stand out from others but the added scene in the anime makes it more obvious.

I think there’s more to this moment than most talk about. Other than the fact that Saiki reacts to Kokomi’s name, what makes him smile is that even when Kokomi knows that her life is in danger, she still thinks about him. He realises that the girl he finds so troublesome truely does love him. And he knows that in the end, what she wants, will happen. Through him this time. Personally I think this scene acts as the trigger to Saiki realising that he needs his powers and he doesn’t actually hate being a psychic.

All in all, Kokomi is the only one who balances out Saiki perfectly and Saiki is the one who made her develop as a person. They’re compatible with each other and even Saiki believes that. Both have lasting impact on each other even without being able to use their respective powers which solidifies the fact that the progression is genuine. Both have polar opposite nature, Kokomi loves receiving attention while Saiki hates that. However when push comes to shove, Kokomi’s willing to sacrifice her perfect pretty girl role while Saiki’s ready to draw attention to himself despite all the efforts they both put into their respective places.

Kokomi influences Saiki’s thought process despite him being able to read her like an open book. She makes him guess his choices and decisions. She brings surprises and challenges in his life. Saiki does the same since he isn’t affected by her charms, he makes her focus on other things beside looks. And he’s literally the only one who recognises her for herself and not her beauty unlike her own brother. I could go on forever about how they complement each other but that’s for another day.

I may not be the biggest SaiTeru shipper out there but I most definitely think Saiki should either remain single or end up with Kokomi. I prefer the later.

#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki x teruhashi #teruhashi x saiki #terusai #saiteru #saiki kusuo #teruhashi kokomi

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batneko · 1 year

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another thread I did on twitter!

tatsuking streamer AU where King is kind of accidentally living three lives. King, who streams with a facecam and never flinches and draws people in by just being That Damn Good. A catgirl vtuber avatar which is where he streams for FUN and can actually be himself.

And his PRIVATE private account where he is a high roller donor and always funds Tatsumaki's "if we reach this ridiculous amount of money I will wear this sexy halloween costume for the rest of the- WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HIT IT ALREADY? Y'all are pervs. Thank you." tier.

Tatsumaki has only been streaming for about a year. She quit her job because she hated it, and got a gently-used camera and mic from her beauty blogger sister, figuring why not give it a try? Can't hurt. And she'll find a "real" job eventually.

It took a while for her to find an audience but luckily she already knew how to protect her privacy and manage a chat thanks to Fubuki. When she started getting donations she was like "I guess I better make goals as incentives for people to KEEP giving money"

The old halloween costume was supposed to be a joke. She NEVER thought she'd reach that tier. Now she's got a rotating wardrobe of custom-made costumes, and accessories and apparently calling the donors perverts is NOT a deterrent.

She actually knows King. The first time she reached out to him to ask who made his vtuber avatar, since the pervs funded another "joke" tier. And King feels weird about it, but he instantly fell for her even more bc she's the FIRST one to EVER realize his accounts are both him.

It's not a secret! He doesn't TRY to hide it! It's just that nobody seems to ever make the connection, no matter how similar their names are, or that they stream on alternate days, or link each other all the time.

They've done vtuber streams together a few times, but never a facecam one, since their playstyles are too different. King decided to make sure Tatsumaki heard his real voice not his pitch-shifted character voice while they played together. It was scarier than he thought it'd be.

Granted, it's not like Tatsumaki would ever KNOW King is one of her donors. She doesn't do private chats or anything like that, so she's never heard his voice before. But King is still terrified she'll find out and think he's a creep. But he's too scared to TELL her either.

It's a rock and a hard place! If he tells her, she'll never want to be friends with him (or maybe more? No, no, not a chance in hell. Better to not even daydream about that). But if they become friends and she finds out he DIDN'T tell her, she'll hate him even more.

They eventually meet in person at a convention (where Tatsumaki is wearing normal clothes) and she immediately starts bullying him. "Why are you so tall?" "I don't know... My dad's tall?" "Well tell him to stop it." "O- okay."

She notices how uncomfortable he seems with the crowds, and the way he's trying to hunch in on himself. "Is this why your avatar's a tiny catgirl? Would you be happier if you weren't gigantic?" "I don't think so. I'm happy with my body, just not the way other people perceive it."

Tatsumaki says "Oh, mood," and promptly attaches herself to his side for the rest of the con.

At a panel about vtubing, King wears a cardboard mask of his character and speaks with his normal voice, but still no one makes the connection between him and Serious Gamer King. They're at the same convention! He was JUST on another panel!

Tatsumaki drags King to one of her panels (he has yet to realize she is intentionally protecting him from getting overwhelmed) and the topic of being a Female Streamer and dealing with horny donors comes up. She says yeah, it's weird, and a lot of them are creeps.

(King is quietly dying inside) But, she says, the ones who donate a LOT are actually really nice and respectful. It's only the ones who donate one or two dollars who act like assholes. As if she should be GRATEFUL for their pocket change. The high rollers are total gentlemen.

That evening Tatsumaki asks if King's going to the streamer afterparty. "I'm almost thirty," he says. "If I don't get enough sleep I can't function the next day." "Oh mood," Tatsumaki says again. "We could... go up to my hotel room? For our OWN afterparty." "Like, watch a movie?"

Tatsumaki stares at him for a moment. King just looks confused. "...sure, movie sounds good."

They exchange numbers after the con and go their separate ways. King would have counted the weekend an overwhelming success if it wasn't for Tatsumaki's stream a few days later. He's watching. She's wearing a cute costume he helped pay for. Everything is perfect. And she says -

"I have to tell you guys what happened this weekend. Wait, hang on." She checks something on her monitor. "Okay he's not watching. So I was hitting on this dude HARDCORE like, the whole time." That's weird. Wasn't she with King the whole con? Did it happen during his panels?

"And he's one of those guys, you know, who are super tall AND super shy? So cute." Wait a minute. "And I straight up asked him up to my hotel room, and he goes, 'to watch a movie?'" WAIT A MINUTE.

"I wasn't sure if he was rejecting me or just really didn't understand what I meant, so I said yeah. And guess what we watched. Guess. You'll never guess. That Doom movie from 2005 with Bones and The Rock." King has collapsed to the floor and is hyperventilating.

"Anyway I'm PRETTY sure he honestly did not realize I was trying to bang him, which is adorable but a little frustrating. I got his number. I'm thinking I'll send him pictures of me in cute outfits and ask what he thinks until I drive him insane with lust, that usually works."

King is lying on the floor for a solid twenty minutes before his phone buzzes and it's a picture of Tatsumaki in her latest maid dress (it's pink) tilted artfully to give a peek down the neckline, asking what he thinks. He sends a thumbs-up emoji and goes back to the floor.

#tatsuking #tatsumaki #opm king #king #batfics #one punch man #streamer au

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lienwyn · 2 months

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15 questions, 15 people

I was tagged by @clawbehavior! Thank you so much 💜

1. Are you named after anyone?

I am not. My grandmother picked my name to somewhat match my big sister's (we both have names beginning with L) but that's about it.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I guess yesterday? Because my back pain suddenly got ten times worse and sometimes when I tried to move I'd get a stabbing sensation that made me spontaneously start crying. Which is pretty impressive considering that I have a pretty high pain tolerance.

It was also confusing because it wasn't a conscious choice of mine or anything. My body just decided it hurt too much and therefore tears were required. While I was just completely baffled by what was happening because crying from pain isn't something I do very often.

It was an interesting experience.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not anymore, no. When I was a teenager, it seemed to be the only kind of humour I could actually pull off, but I've been steering away from it more and more. Now I'm saving it for special occasions ;)

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I genuinely can't say. I think it depends more on the person I'm seeing/meeting than anything I have control over. Like, with some I might notice their posture, with others it's their hair colour (if it's something very noticeable), with others it's the way they speak.

I really don't have a set order or something I look for first.

6. What's your eye colour?

Greenish blue

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

Happy ending. Always.

8. Any special talents?

I'm really good with my hands and usually excel at most types of crafts or creative pursuits I attempt, from art and sculpturing to sewing, weaving, embroidery, making furniture, baking etc.

I'm also good at reading people and situations, which comes in handy when I write.

9. Where were you born?

In the north of Sweden.

10. What are your hobbies?

Honestly too many to count. But the ones I spend most time on right now are drawing, writing, reading, playing video games, and taking walks.

11. Do you have pets?

Sadly, no :C

But I grew up with dogs and love them to absolute bits. One of my favourite words in Swedish is "hundlängtan" which basically just means "dog longing" or "longing for a dog."

That's me. I am in a perpetual state of longing for a dog.

12. What sports do you/have you played?

Basketball, floorball, and badminton were the most organised, but I also did gymnastics and skiing as a kid.

13. How tall are you?

176 cm (5'9)

14. Favourite subject in high school?

History! Because I had an AMAZING teacher who made it so, so much fun, especially with the ugly little drawings he kept making on the whiteboard. Half of the time, we couldn't even see what he was drawing, but that was a part of the charm.

I also really liked English :)

15. Dream job?

I would honestly love to be an artist or a writer full-time, but I'm too scared (and comfortable with my current salary) to attempt it. But if I could choose without having to take finances into consideration? Definitely an artist or a writer.

I tag: @miss-ingno, @sjazna, @mesaimouse, @a-very-fond-farewell, @fr-wiwiw, @stl29tide, @writingfanficsfan, @k-s-morgan, and whoever else wants to do it! (I really suck at tagging x'D)

#Tags #Like #Not going to lie #Sometimes I dream about being able to just... be creative #And I don't just mean writing or drawing #I'd LOVE to be let loose inside a workshop and just make a bunch of furniture #Or actually put up my loom and make more rugs #There's something so satisfying about creating and making things

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quibbs126 · 2 years

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I decided to start drawing my favorite Cookies

These aren’t all of them, but I didn’t want to put too many without the canvas getting super stretched, so I just put three of them. However I do plan on doing more of them, so this is Part 1

Aight, let’s get into it

Dark Choco Cookie: he’s quickly become a hyperfixation for me, mostly due to him checking off my list for hyperfixation character traits (mainly tragic backstory, tragic family drama, at some point an antagonist). But anyways, I just like this cookie, his backstory’s really tragic, and as I said, I hope he’s able to find happiness by the end of the story.

Also, I drew this the day before the Holiday update, but from what I can gather (I haven’t gotten there yet because I’m out of Baker’s Piping Bags) it seems like this may very well be true

Though, I do have to say, his voice acting doesn’t always hit it for me? Sometimes it sounds a bit like a Batman impression and I can’t take it as seriously. Though other times his voice acting is good. I just think maybe his voice needs to go at a bit of a higher pitch sometimes, particularly in more emotional moments, instead of his really deep voice

I was originally going to draw him with the Strawberry Jam Sword, but given what happened in Episode 14 (which I haven’t gotten to, I just started Episode 9, but I have seen cutscenes of), I thought it would be better to draw him without it. So instead I drew him doing that dramatic cape flutter thing Descole sometimes does

Side note, but have any of you seen Ginjaninjaowo’s Cookie Run humanizations? And how like, with some of them at least they tried to make the humanizations more than just “make them human” and put some sort of spin on their designs? Well I realized while drawing Dark Choco (specifically his cape and shoulder pads) that his design could translate well to a gundam sort of outfit. You know, have the shoulder pads be mechanical or something? I dunno, it’s what I thought. Or maybe I’m thinking of Megaman characters, specifically from the X series. So maybe mecha is what I’m thinking?

Dark Cacao Cookie: I like him for very similar reasons to Dark Choco, particularly the tragic backstory and the fact that he’s the other half of the family drama, but I also like him on his own as well. He’s just this old man who’s also a badass king and warrior willing to do whatever it takes for the good of his people, no matter the personal cost, and there seems to be a lot of nuance to his character. Honestly I think it was the Sorrow of Dark Cacao Cookie video that made me like him just on his own as a character. Unfortunately I have not met him in game yet, so I just have a few cutscenes to go off of

Also, his voice acting is really good. Speaking of which, funny story but back when I had just seen the characters (I mean Dark Choco and Dark Cacao) and hadn’t seen their voice actors, I thought “you know, I could see Patrick Seitz voicing one of them”, as I’ve heard him before as Olberic, the legendary but disgraced warrior from Octopath Traveler who also carries a large sword (also I’ve heard him as Dio, but that’s irrelevant). Then one day I’m watching some of the voice actors reacting to fanart, and I see that Patrick Seitz actually does voice Dark Cacao, and honestly that blew my mind. Didn’t think I would be able to guess that

I swear, when drawing this, it went from Dark Choco’s fairly simple design, to “dear LORD this outfit is so much more complicated”. The sword as well. I gave Dark Cacao this outfit mostly just because I like it

Onion Cookie: As I stated in my last post, I find Onion Cookie to be adorable, but also her backstory is really sad. She’s a literal child who died and doesn’t know she’s a ghost, and she’s also scared of ghosts. I want her to be happy as well

Also, I’ve used her in game as part of my B Team, and honestly her ability’s pretty darn strong. I’m also convinced it has like the longest cooldown of any ability. It’s just that the rest of my main group is a lot better than her in terms of strength

Also the little gasp thing I have her doing was just something she sometimes does when you interact with her in your kingdom that I thought was cute. Also I didn’t want to draw her crying

Yeah I don’t have as much to say on Onion, she’s just a baby that needs to be protected

#I think I covered everything in the description there #cookie run kingdom #dark choco cookie #dark cacao cookie #onion cookie #favorite cookies #my art #honestly it’s so much easier to draw people when you don’t have to worry about hands or feet

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ponds-of-ink · 6 months

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Sing The Ghosts A Christmas Carol Bonus Chapter: “The Ultimate Challenge”

Or, as I called it in a WIP file, “Putting The ‘Boxing’ in Boxing Day”.

Well, I had this idea for a while and thought it’d be a good way to really end NaNoWrimo. Hope this pays off..

Well, I guess I can tell one more tale. I forgot that I never answered one question: Did William ever beat that Ultimate Challenge? And, if so, was he set free like he thought?

To answer the first question, I need to return to a different Christmas. Happiness were high all around, William was enjoying his time off, and nobody really thought of actually participating in the challenge that would cause so much holiday grievances.

That is, until a message from The Bear ‘himself’ arrived.

The Puppet, being one to usually speak for this golden-furred ringleader, set to work on getting everyone’s attention. She snatched the microphone from Fun-Fox and whistled into the speakers. “Sorry to interrupt the fun, but we’ve got a letter from ‘management’,” she relayed to her puzzled audience. “And it’s written out to William, so I hope he’s paying attention.” William—who was then in the middle of giving Scraptrap some much-needed advice in terms of confidence—quickly raised his hand. “I’m all ears, don’t fret,” he assured with a raised voice, readjusting his sitting position. “Go ahead and read.”

The Puppet wasted no time in prying open the sticker-sealed letter. She took a moment to decipher the crayon-scrawled drawing, then read the note for all to hear:

“The Ultimate Challenge starts tomorrow. 6 AM. No more stalling. No more ‘tack-tic’ stuff. I want to see you put the ‘boxing’ in Boxing Day.”

While the other animatronics voiced their mixed emotions, William simply leaned back in his chair. “Sounds like Goldie’s getting impatient,” he muttered to a wide-eyed Scraptrap. “I’m not sure why exactly, but I’m willing to put up a good fight.”

“‘Putting the box in Boxing Day’?” Scraptrap repeated incredulously, his voice barely above a whisper. “But Boxing Day isn’t about wresting, … is-s-s it?”

“You’re right, it isn’t,” William replied calmly, patting the rabbit’s shoulder. “If I recall correctly, it’s just a separate holiday that comes right after Christmas. It’s more of a Canadian and British tradition, though, which makes Goldie mentioning at all even more strange.”

“Maybe.. A calendar told ‘him’?”

“Maybe,” William echoed, shrugging his shoulders. “But I won’t get that worked up about it. I need to save all my frustration for tomorrow.” His eyebrows raised as a sudden thought came to him. “And, by the way,” he resumed, refocusing his attention towards Scraptrap, “don’t be scared if you jump-scare me the most. I’m not going to lash out like I did many Christmases ago— N-Not intentionally, anyway.”

“Thanks for the warning, then,” Scraptrap responded sarcastically, his good ear raising a little. “Heh. I bet you’re going to throw so many fits.”

William just chuckled sheepishly. Deep down, he knew he was going to have an outburst of rage or two. Not towards any of the animatronics in play, mind you, but towards the system itself.

Thankfully, that system wasn’t in play on that Christmas night. The hours flew by, housing games and talks of all kinds. Molten Freddy lost his Guessing Game title, Ballora managed to hit the Purple Piñata, and many other wins and losses were decided on that night.

Of course, as we’re not here to discuss the interpersonal “rivalries” of the animatronics, I’ll skip to the main event itself. William, understandably, woke up that morning absolutely tired. All the lingering joy from the night’s festivities went down in the drain in minutes. One round, he was too slow in dealing with certain threats like Night-Marion. In another, he made too much noise for the equally-frazzled Music Man or Lefty’s likings. Even more rounds were lost due to forgetting his cameras or some other arbitrary condition, which I won’t waste your time with. All that the “lay-person” needs to know is that the barrage of noises combined with remembering so many rules did a number. This was to be expected, of course, but all parties were getting very worn-down over the course of the day. Yes, including the extra robots waiting in the metaphorical wings.

By the time the sun set on our human realm, William was practically in shambles. His arms and fingers ached from all the frantic movements. His eyes welled with tears of pain and endless hours of straining. His ears would have bled if his ability to regenerate wasn’t in play then. And, worst of all, his nerves and mental state were shot. Gone were the hours of confidence and proper strategy. Now he spiraled into absolute despair. “Maybe all those canned remarks still have a grain of truth in them,” he thought as he recovered from his latest attempt. “Maybe I’m not fit to leave this place, even with all my efforts to improve. Maybe this challenge is supposed to show how inadequate I truly am— Both as a human being and as a game player.”

He slumped as he placed his elbows on the desk. His reddened eyes drifted to the newly-mounted clock. It ticked on though its hands still stayed at midnight. Almost as if it was taunting him. Waiting for him to accept his fate. However, this taunt was met with a raised eyebrow. William leaned back, then let his eyes bounce between the clock and the monitor. “The next session hasn’t started yet,” he noted quietly, putting a hand on his burning forehead. “The loop’s.. stopped.”

He stared on the monitor a bit closer. A bluish-gray text box took up the middle of the screen. In gold text, a question emerged: “Giving up yet?”

William’s posture straightened a little. He lifted his hand towards the screen. His mind darted between the two answers presented. A long train of thought barreled towards its destination. He selected “No”.

Another text box popped up. “Okay then,” was its answer. “Have ‘fun’. Over and over and over again.”

Deep down, William’s response was a resolute “I will”.

So, the cycle of torment restarted. The faked irritation in the animatronics became more genuine. William tried to revive his thought process, but it stayed dead in the red-tinted water. Evening turned to night, darkening along with the mood of the Neon Cemetery.

So, does this mean that my answer is “No”? Did he—and by extension, we— never found out what happened? Was he doomed to undergo a Groundhog Loop of maddening proportions?

Well, that’s the most miraculous part of the story: He did, in fact, finally win. And not because he surrendered to Golden Freddy.

You see, in the dead of night, he decided to have one more go. “This’ll be the last one for a good while,” William reasoned with himself as he collected his newest consolation prize. “I’m knackered and famished. Everyone else is hopping mad. It’s for the best that I just ‘call it quits’ after this one.”

So, in a sleep-deprived state; he started the night. His mind drifted into some dazed state, practically repeating the once-frantic motions as if it was daily routine. The blaring noises sounded like television static. The threats were simply greeted with a weary wave before being shut out. To put it another way, he was absolutely out of it for almost the entire shift. It took a particularly loud advertisement on the monitor to even snap him back into action— And that advertisement played an “hour” before the end of his shift.

Now snapped back to this new reality, he tried to maintain his pace. He stuck to his routine, but with a lot more energy. The minutes passed by in a frantic pace. All of the animatronics put on their best performances. Golden Freddy’s presence loomed over the entire event, though the hear only appeared once or twice. William clenched his teeth as he glanced at the clock. Five seconds to go. Four seconds. Three. Two. One…

Six chimes rang out. The entire room fell into silence.

…A silence that William immediately broke. “Yes!” he yelled into the apparent void, putting his hands on his head. “I beat it! I finally did it…!” His triumphant voice broke into a sob as he mistakenly fell onto the floor. He stayed there, spilling all of those bottled emotions on the floor.

The score on the monitor kept on increasing. It ran through the ranks, as if trying to find the right thing to “exclaim”. Until, finally, it stopped at the most understandable remark of all: ‘Unbeatable!’

And, yes, it was unbeatable.

…So then why was he immediately sent back to the office?

William had this exact question as he opened his eyes. He peered across the desk to see if something special happened. The only thing that appeared was a small, golden Freddy trophy next to the monitor. And, on said monitor, another text box with golden letters that read:

“What? You thought it was over?”

William instinctively selected the “Yes” option. After all that, how could he not assume such a thing?

The screen flickered as a ghostly laugh rang out. The text box updated again:

“Silly bunny. I will never let you leave. I can never let you rest. No matter how many times you beat it, you’ll always end up back here. Forever.”

An icy sensation ran through William’s entire body. “Was this always planned?” he asked hoarsely, typing the same question on the keyboard.

The text box wasted no time in replying. “Yup,” it said. “Even before your little ‘turn around’.”

William’s look of horror melted into a furious scowl. “But that’s not fair!” he snapped darkly, rapidly typing away yet again. “For the others, I mean! Won’t you wear them all down soon enough? Won’t you get tired of me screaming and bemoaning my fate over and over again?”

The text box paused for a second, then continued its streak of fast replies. “Being tired of you acting like a crybaby is better than letting you go,” it answered. “You haven’t been punished enough yet.”

William raised an eyebrow at this last remark, but decided to brush it off. “What would’ve happened if I was let go, then?” he questioned further. “Do you think I would’ve returned to the living world?“

Another pause from the other side. This time, it was minutes longer. William did send a “take your time” through the keyboard, but to no avail.

A couple of minutes later, the response finally came. “I don’t know,” it replied in a smaller font. “But I have a feeling you’d try to claw your way out somehow.”

William’s brow darkened. “I doubt that I have that kind of power,” he corrected thoughtfully. “But, as I myself have no idea what awaits any of us, I suppose I’ll uphold your judgment. Until you or I find out, of course.”

The screen flickered. The laughter started up again, but it was much shakier. “I can work with that,” a final box added. “See you tomorrow…” William simply waved as the box closed itself. He tiredly climbed into his chair. He exhaled slowly, lowering his head. All he could do was cling onto the progress he made— Both in his game-playing and with himself.

..Yes, dear reader, this was how that night ended. A great triumph fading into the tortured monotony of tomorrows to come. I wish I could add a further anecdote. Bit, alas, time is pressing me and Goldie has been very persistent. Most likely is, given the uncertainty of it all.

The only comfort I can give is that the robots and William are still in better standing than they were years ago. Ballora and him have become a lot (though whether or not Justine is haunting her is still unknown, so any romance has been held off). Scraptrap is finally saying quips of his own instead of repeating the one line he’s been retrained to echo back. And the rest? Well, some have worse grievances to deal with, but at least amends are being made.

I guess my wish has been fulfilled, but not in the way that even I anticipated. And, all things considered, that might just be the best outcome any of them coul

#william afton #fnaf fanfic #scraptrap #golden freddy #fnaf ucn #bonus chapter #sing the ghosts a Christmas carol #nanowrimo

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energywarning · 2 years

Note

Please please please tell us more about captain 8 (lovingly)

Uh well in that drawing of capn 8 it turns out the whole being captain thing was a nightmare so.

BUT! if it were to happen i guess. It would go something like this:

3 croaks > the horrors happen

Joke aside i think 4 would hit da bricks cus 8 kind of lost the plot by the point shes assigned the role of captain, and 4 doesnt think its a fair way to keep 3 in her heart, living like this... she goes on to try and live a decent life, 8 and 4 probably do not speak to eachother ever again by that point.

neo3 is kind of too scared to say much of anything, mf is sent to the trench on missions w/o an ounce of respect being given. Old man craig is like "tis a sad day but the battlefield is merciless" blabla though seeing how personal this is ought to have a effect or two on his person, if only due to how everyone else behaves around him,though its not his first rodeo seeing close colleagues dying for a cause probably? So. I guess it would be more of a painful flare and less of a fresh wound. But hes an old man now, and the dynamics arent the same... Marie and callie,. well. Marie would take a "break" methinks, she's scared of seeing it happen again dare i say. while on the opposite end callie would surprisingly buries herself deep in the squibeak splatoon out of some sort of guilt. even starting working as an actual agent. ?

Ich been a twentyfour shipper so YEOWch angst is very painful ! Much ouch. But yes ! I think that 8 never manages to ermh. Recover from this event ykno. Very violent reaction upon finding out .when 3 died, the scars on her face are proof of it... she would never become as emotional but she would also never be emotional again. Cold dead stare. Couldnt care less, her hearts ripped out blablabla. I think she would wear 3's cape instead of the other scarf thing from the old man. Perhaps try to emulate 3's behavior regarding agent work but in a distorted sad manner, as a way to feel like shes still there,in a way. And all her friends left her and those that pretend otherwise are just lying to her, are they scared or do they just feel pity? Who knows...

I have a little trouble thinking about it in details since its not soemthing that actually happens but i think i got the basics if it were 2 happen. Which it doesnt but jebsbsjd i think you get the point

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sappho-official · 1 year

Text

that post about aspd reminded me the second worst presentation i ever saw at art school. it still makes me laugh/cringe

one quarter i took a fantastic basic-level psychology class as an elective, and one of our units was on mental illness. the professor made it EXTREMELY clear that she hadn't originally had this as a subject, but so many students had requested it over the years that she got tired and started including it. she did a great job at respectfully teaching about commonly stigmatized conditions like DID and ASPD and psychosis and the history of how we've treated various conditions, from medications to therapy over the past century or so.

the end of the unit had a project: make an art piece based on and do a presentation on a condition listed in the DSM-5*. the only required source was the DSM-5 itself, but the professor encouraged us to read about the lived experiences of people with the condition we were covering. simple enough.

*conditions outside of the DSM-5 were permitted with professor approval, and I actually did mine on grapheme synesthesia

SO presentation day goes through like normal. there was one piece allegedly about PTSD that was a pretty painting of an ice-covered rose that was very very obviously not painted for the assignment (which was against the rules) and the presenter was like "I guess the red of the rose represents blood and the ice is like uhh the shattered glass from the car crash?" not great but nothing too crazy

then this one girl gets up. she's done a digital piece so she brings it up on the projector. it's a line drawing of a girl pointing aggressively at another girl, who is cowering; something about it reminded me of a musical poster but I haven't been able to figure out which one. it was also like a photo collage, I think there were photographs inside the line drawings of the girls.

and so the presenter begins telling us about her piece which is about "Antisocial Personality Disorder" and how it makes you "scared to interact with people."

which is, uh

not what ASPD is.

if you're not aware, Antisocial Personality Disorder is what is sometimes colloquially referred to as being a s*ciopath (idk if that needs censoring but it's an outdated and not-great term so I'm leaning on the side of caution). the DSM-5's describes it as "a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others" which may not be a perfect definition, but most CERTAINLY is not what this girl was describing.

so she continues her presentation on social anxiety "antisocial personality disorder," and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't constantly like "antisocial people hide away from others due to a fear of being vulnerable" "antisocial people are scared that their friends secretly hate them" just REPEATEDLY using the word antisocial incorrectly. someone in the class actually tried speaking up in the middle of the presentation to be like "uh, that's not--" but was cut off. and need I remind you that this was a topic that had been covered IN THE CLASS ITSELF, and, sure, maybe she had missed a day but if she had just read the SINGULAR PAGE of the DSM-5 she was required to cite, she would have been fine!

when the presentation was done, the professor stopped the class for like 10 minutes to basically re-deliver the entire lesson on ASPD, just to make sure no one was confused. I have no idea what kind of grade that girl got, but it was rough to watch.

anyways, the worst presentation i saw at art school was in 1900s art history and involved a guy looking at marcel duchamp's Fountain (a picture of which HE HAD PUT INTO HIS PRESENTATION) and saying that it "looks kinda like a urinal"

it is a urinal.

#wordbarf #long post #btw this is not to say that people with ASPD cant experience anxiety around social situations. that's just like #not what ASPD is sdfghgfds

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flaringfoxsoul03 · 1 year

Note

Hi there Writer, can I ask some Match up Romantic Obey me? Ofc if it's okay to you

How should I started, well.

know myself actually but it's hard to describe it, I'm a Female She/Her pronouns Demisexual INTJ-T. I'm a quiet person and rarely talk but somehow I can make people befriend me easily, maybe because everyone says I'm "Cold outside but warm inside" I guess??? I'm also an ambivert who tends to be more extrovert actually, I'm not easy to get comfortable with new people but I think I'm a friendly person because in my hometown Being friendly and polite is a bridge of socialization and it's already in my bloodblood. I sometimes feel bad for someone even though I know it wasn't my fault when I got into a fight and when I get angry I just stay quiet and don't react much maybe I'll just give them the cold shoulder or at least try not to be seen with them.

the place I hate the most when I hang out is hiking. I got lost and almost died (obviously I don't want to experience that again) and my Favorite Place to Hang out is Cinema and My house. I really like drawing and I often draw my daily life on my tablet like a diary (my hands are fine-)

My love language is quality time, I know I may not be a talkative person but spending time with someone special is what makes me want to talk a lot, i might be the silent jealous type, not because I don't want to admit it but maybe because it's not my right to forbid my partner from interacting with anyone (I will stare at the person who is the reason I'm jealous). I'm also not the type of person who believes in "love at first sight", maybe other people feel it but not me

a little information about my appearance: I am about 176 cm tall. My hair is short Platinum blonde (dye), and black eyes and Oliver skin

Things I like : Flowers, Books, Rabbits, Spicy and sour food (but I'm not a picky eater), Going out or staying at home, Coffee, Drawing, and the color white

Things I hate : Lizard, smoke, Ghost, Horror game and movie ( I'm a scared cat ok-)

I'm sorry if it's too long and feel free to ignore this if you want to, and thanks if you read this. I'll see you soon

You are literally too sweet for words. Nothing can describe you accurately in the amount of sweetness and kindness you possess. Yet ever so valiant of the human traditions of pain and suffering. Even demons would be initially blinded in your radiance, mistaking you for the Virtue of Kindness. I’m not kidding, you are giving me a lot to work with. Let’s see if I can put my work up to the test…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Mammon!

——————————

Look, he is called a scumbag a lot, but he’s different with you. You both met under unfortunate circumstances and got forced into a very difficult situation to navigate, but you both figured it out slowly and like every slowburn romance novel that Satan reads, you fell for each other faster than Lucifer has even seen with Lilith back when they were still angels in the Celestial Realm

Now, it seems odd to put you guys together, but trust me, this works really well. He’s the voice when you’re the words, you fit together so well and would be totally lost without the other, no structure or flow to have anything go smoothly. You, the eye of the storm and he, the raging turbulence protecting you. He’s your first demon, he ain’t letting you go and he’s hoping you won’t let go of him either

Speaking of which, this demon has also raised a very angry creature. He gets angry and its many types, so when he sees you giving the cold shoulder to everyone and being way quieter? Bet on it that shit is gonna turn around real fast. He’ll offer to spend time with him on whatever sounds good in the moment. Whether it be homework, a joyride, or even just cuddling together, bet on it that he’s gonna convince you to be together alone for as long as it takes you to finally break and talk to him. He’s not even trying to talk over you either, he wholeheartedly listens to every little detail you’ll spare him. You deserve to be heard, you should know that better than anyone since you listen to him all the time

Will never actively let you walk by yourself when on a hike, let alone consider the idea of going on one if you’re not totally over the whole near death experience. While he does wanna show you the secret little places he’s found, he knows that you’re not for hikes, especially since you informed him of your last traumatic hike experience. He’s conflicted, he knows pictures will do it no justice, but at the same time he’s worried he’s never going to be able to show you some places he treasures and wants to share it with you. Please help him come to a decision already

Will immediately spend tons of Grimm he’s managed to save up to turn his room into a movie theater from home. He does get the appeal of the cinemas, but why not be able to have it all to yourself when you don’t feel like being sociable? He thinks this is a grand idea, Lucifer is less thrilled with the charges that Mammon has managed to rack up ever since learning your love for the cinemas

Will absolutely try to test your tastebuds against the Devildom’s spicy levels of food. He’s ridiculous and he needs to get that energy out somehow, eating spicy helps him stay at maintained levels of goofiness. He really does love it when you scarf down your food and on top of that be able to handle it? Super hot, literally and figuratively. Even when you can’t handle the heat, you both have a good laugh about it anyways. No shame in spice!

Has great relief that you are never willing to watch horror movies. As much as he claims otherwise, he’s terrified of the movies as he just gets so invested into it, he feels as though he’s part of the movie itself. That’s why he’s so scared of them, even if he knows it’s not real. He’s much more of a Fantasy, Action, and Adventure genres are more his type of movies. But minus the horror? He’s down to watch anything with you, no matter if it’s at the cinemas or in his room

Even if you seem like the opposite couple doomed to fail to everyone else, your relationship with Mammon is of energy balancing acts. If it fails, it’s hilarious at the end usually. If it succeeds, it’s a marvelous accomplishment in your guys’s relationship to be able to do a new thing without getting hurt for it. Sure there’s a few more bumps here and there, but he will never not be by your side

=================

The follow ups are:

Asmodeus

And

Leviathan

===================

That’s it folks, until next time!

~Fox

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #om mammon #om leviathan #om asmodeus #obey me matchups #obey me shall we date #om satan #om lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me satan

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flaylore · 2 days

Text

[TRANSCRIPT] THE ANXIETY OF HAPPINESS ROON

1:25 🪫: “I’m here. False alarm I guess… which is good.”

🪫: “Why are you scared of me? Don’t you trust me? What the fuck! Why are you scared of me? What the hell, you guys are so mean!”

2:10 💬: You scared us

🪫: “You scare me! Well, actually, I don’t know if there are many things that scare me.. sorta? Maybe?”

2:22 [It cuts to him inside the R-TRUS, the stream starts]

🪫: “Wait. Oh there we go! But I can’t hear the music? Hello, hello! For those of you wondering we were supposed to have Forest of Drizzling Drai- Drizzling Rain today. [he pauses] Hi, this is your pilot speaking Machina X Flayon, there you go. And! We were going to do this at the beginning right? But, timezones are a pain and I already moved it so I was like ‘Don’t worry Jurard we will just draw today’ the next time we’ll have it set. It happened for me with Octavio, Mr. Tavioli, and now Jurard thats kinda funny actually… very funny, extremely funny. Extremely. But!”

3:11 💬: The what?

🪫: “I have something to show you today, it’s very nice! Are you ready? It’ll be quick, yes, yeah a little treat. Okay wait. You have to promise not to look- wait I need a censor image, wait let me get it. Pfft why did I make this- this dumb machiroon photos, you guys look smarter than this.”

3:45 💬 Why are you censoring?

🪫: “Oh, cause of my fat tits. You know how it is. Okay! Okay, are you ready? It’s very cool. I swear.”

4:11 💬 Crunchy?

🪫: “Oh yeah… look, look who it is! Familiar, no? Very familiar even, very cute, yes. Look, see, it is you! And for some reason you like mimicking me so there’s that. But hey! When you mimic me then you can talk too see, so it’s kinda cute.. it’s kinda c- very cute! Ah- ah- ah- ah- Yes, I think this is what I wanted the ref sheet to look like, you can thank my mama for using with the Elysium printing technology. Very cute. Hopefully one day I can update that, this is way more the speed of what you guys look like, look! Cute no? Also, I had an alarm on. Right! Very cute, absolutely adorable even.. it is you! Do you like the Machiroon?”

5:19 💬: We mimic.

🪫: “Yeah just like how I mimic stuff, right? I do right?… Yeah, I mimic stuff all the time actually, what do you call it? Well, when it’s like with sound audio, I always mimic that.”

5:34 💬: My soul is healing.

🪫: “The squiggly the squiggly the squiggly. Very cute, right?”

5:42 💬: We have fang!

🪫: “Good! Good, this is a machiroon and [his eyes swirl but it’s different from last time in the canis minor video] I love you guys, I love you a lot. Okay, so thank you, thank you very much! Okay! Thank you. Thank you.”

5:58 🪫: giggles

[ the screen goes black and white and freezes while his eyes are still swirling, audios and visual both begin to glitch]

6:41 [ the screen clears again and it has a video camera effect applied, almost like a tape is being played, it fades in on what appears to be Flayon but he has stars in his eyes, he is also holding an Armored Machiroon ]

6:59 🪫MF: “So… these are supposed to be my fans? scoff Yeah whatever… I guess they’re cute. I told the Leader, you know, Altare, I don’t really do this whole thing, ‘guilds’… it’s stupid, so… but I guess… it won’t hurt like to have these guys along, what’s inside them anyway? soft chuckle Alright hold on, just this once okay? And don’t get too excited about it either! I am a genius after all so… know your place okay?”

8:00 [ unclips front piece of jacket covering mouth ]

🪫MF: “Hm, that’s not bad. Well, if you’re there fighting the corruption with me I guess it wouldn’t hurt. Stop looking at me with that stupid face! scoffs …Me? I- I never really had a family, I don’t care for it. Growing up it was sorta like… I just kept being called a genius all the time, it was exhausting you know? That’s all everyone sees. ‘Pilot this, pilot that!’ People want to… put these expectations on you, the thing is when you’re just seen as one thing you don’t get to be anything else. So, you should be grateful! This supposed great genius is envious of you.”

9:15 🪫MF: You’re ‘not like me’? Well that’s your loss but, on the bright side of things while I only have one path you have many, it’s something you don’t want to take for granted, okay? …hm? You good? Hello? Ohhh.”

9:51 [ a glitching noise plays along with ominous music, he chokes up a bit like something might be hurting him before continuing to talk like usual ]

10:02 💬: Are you okay?

🪫MF: “Of course I’m okay! Are you stupid? Why wouldn’t I be!? Hah. I don’t pilot the R-TRUS for nothing! Who the hell do think you are even? Look. I wasn’t being that nice earlier, I was just saying how it was.. how it is. So don’t get ahead of yourself.

10:30 💬: Chill I’m just worried

🪫MF: “And you think that means anything to me? Really? You can say nice things but people can lie about that too. Do you think that you can just come into my life and change things just because you say a nice thing? Where’s your proof that you’ll be different? And why should I give you anything? But, I guess… you guys are still here so, yeah. You can stick around… just make sure you’re going to be there at the debut, if not I won’t forgive you! Got it?! Okay, then, that’s how it’s going to be. Understood? Yeah, yeah.”

11:42 [ the screen turns black and white, his eyes swirl and he goes from smiling to frowning as it glitches ]

12:12 🔋: “…You, you piss me off. scoff Is that how people like you cope with things? ‘You only have one path?’ You have no idea what it’s like to be nothing, to have nothing. Expectations? You’re lucky to even have those. When no one expects anything of you, no one notices you, no one… loves you. And so, why does it have to be you? Why… you? Why… you?”

13:57 [ the screen glitches and turns black, it goes back to Flayon regularly talking like nothing happened while holding an unarmored machiroon ]

14:00 🪫: “Hello? Yo! You good? You guys like seeing yourselves that much huh? That’s kinda cute, I can vibe with that. Look, look! So cute, no? Very cute, very snug.

14:23 💬: Flay?

🪫: I am holding you, I am holding you! I am holding you!

💬: Where did you go’?

🪫: “HUH? Wait wait wait wait wait! Do you like being held by me that much that you lose track of where you are?”

14:42 Wow! Hahahah! [ he blushes and his eyes sparkle ] Wow! So cute, so cute! …but, this is a quick stream today, it’s nice right? I know it was only like two minutes but hey it still counts, right? So today I’ll be drawing with Mr. Jurard T. Rexford and you’ll be there… then tomorrow we’ll stream Forest of Drizzling Rain? …Hm?

15:16 💬: Two Minutes?

🪫: Yeah! What is it because I don’t do the 11 hour 13 Sentinels stream anymore? I want to do it again but it’d be a bit! Maybe I need to make sure I have time set for it? Yeah, yeah, yeah tomorrow don’t worry about it okay? and… I still have some more things coming for you guys uhh this- this week- the week after this week is over. Then hopefully things arrive there on time. If not then I’m gonna prepare other stuff too and I hope you guys enjoy that. Okay?”

15:52 “Since like… for me, like when I was younger [ his eyes start to swirl here and his tone changes ] I don’t remember people supporting me much or having any expectations so… it’s like, how do you say? It’s nice to be wanted, it’s very nice to be wanted so thank you very much for supporting me… okay? Alright. I’ll send you elsewhere now, okay? Nice short stream but.. maybe I should’ve named it something else, I think it says ‘meow the’ right? Isn’t it that cat? Wait wait wait, let me prepare this, stay in my arms for a bit though [ he puts a silly 3d roon picture on the screen that used to be the thumbnail of the video ] compare yourself, compare yourself before I go! Look, cute!

16:46 💬: The swirls.

🪫: “yeahh, very swirly, very swirly! Hm. [ he looks at the screen for a second ] Are you okay with being in this form by the way? Don’t want to be in your armor? You know, the stuff you use to protect you right… yeah

17:11 [ the screen glitches as he finishes up his sentence ] You don’t want to be in that? Hm, okay.

💬: The armor is cold

🪫: “Of course it is.”

17:23 💬: But you protect us

🪫: “Okay! Alright then… you guys protect me [ his eyes swirl again ] and I’ll protect you okay? Deal? You said you love me after all right? So, I’m going to love you a lot… just make sure no takebacksies alright? Cool, cool! [ Swirl eyes go away ] Okay, but I’ll probably send you elsewhere now, to probably Mr. Jurard T Rexford’s room. Short stream now it’s like five minutes right? But not bad! I’ll see you guys tomorrow too okay? Yummy!”

18:01 🪫: “Then I also think maybe… let’s see, well I- I made a personal goal for myself where I was like.. ‘cause I wanna learn so many things I’m gonna have to make it like once a week so once a week I try drawing, once a week Piano, once a week singing and that’s even if I stream it or not so we’ll see, we’ll see. Also thank you for the memberships, thank for the superchats, I’ll see you guys like in about 20 minutes? Then tomorrow, tomorrow yeah?”

18:33 💬: You do a lot for us I appreciate it.

🪫: Aw thank you, well I have more I want to give but it has to be ready, I have voice packs but they need to be like… I think I’ll give out 2? Just cause one is a certain way, the other one I want to make it like… is that Platonic? yeah yeah yeah, like that! Okay, alright good! Good good good (repeated many times), thank you!

18:58 🪫: You love me right? Good, [ eyes swirl briefly ] only me! Okay good. I told you I’d open up over time! Okay, flaybyebye, bye! Bye!

#transcription #2024 #flaylore #machina x flayon #holotempus #holostars

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side-effect-alien · 4 months

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For the introject ask game: 2, 3, 6, 10, 13

2: Are you comfortable talking about your source?

Yeah! My source is probably the body's favorite show so I love talking about it!! :)

3: What's your favorite thing about your source?

Probably just how good the storyline was and all the characters! Ik I'm biased but collectively Leo is our favorite in the show. We also just love how many iterations there are and how unique each of them are! We're really excited to watch Rise next (and also slightly scared to)

6: Is there someone specific you're looking for or would like to interact with?

Honestly, just my dad or any of my uncles would be great! My system has no internal communication so I can't talk to anyone within my own system :( I've also never met my grandfather, so that would be cool too!! (Btw this includes other iterations, not just 2012 TMNT!! Leo and I both love interacting with sourcemates)

10: What do you have in common with your source?

Well that's kinda hard to answer since.. I don't exist in my source at all! So unfortunately I don't really have anything to compare myself to! Closest thing I could compare myself to is Leo as I split off of our system's fictive of him. In which that case the most common thing I have with (canon) Leo is probably our system's knife collection

13: Favorite memories?

This is gonna be a long one, so I'm putting it under the read more!

Well, while I don't have source memories, my favorite memories from fronting in the system is probably from the night I was created. I was confused and didn't know who I was. I was worried I was faking it and was feeling lots of self-doubt. Luckily, my dad's (Leo's) friends were staying the night at the same time I split so they were there to help assist me. They saw it happen and were giving us our space and comforting us through it

It was a very disorienting time. Dad had been disassociating a bit throughout the day due to high stress and anger (worse than any of us had ever seen in the past) and I guess eventually it just became too much for our system. Our friends noticed something was off and we weren't really able to speak much due to what was happening. We just gave a short response like ".....I think I'm disassociating..." and curled up in on ourselves. After awhile it finally ended and I was able to tell something felt... off... My- well- being felt different than dad's

As I was pretty much just born, I didn't know anything about myself at the time. My gender, name, what I looked like or even what species I was. To help ground me and give me a sense of identity our friends gave me a temporary name to go by and helped calm my anxieties. (Now I call them my moms as a half-joke!) They even confirmed that they could tell something about me seemed much different about how I acted and my personality than Leo, who was just previously fronting

Once I calmed down and the disassociation started to fade a bit, I started off with trying to just draw myself. Not even thinking about it, just letting my pen flow on it's own and see where it takes me. That resulted in this drawing right here!

This partially led to my theory that I was split off of Leo. I still felt like I was a turtle, I still felt connected to TMNT 2012. But, I didn't feel like him, despite feeling like I shared his consciousness and memories. Something was just wrong. Sometimes this could just be a case of a headmate disassociating, but the feeling never went away. I even tried to post on his blog as him, but it just didn't feel right. Sometimes I still hijack it, but never actually pretend to be him. I always make it clear that it's me posting. I always feel a need to make a distinction

As time has gone on I've slowly begun to learn more and more about myself and the differences between us. Sometimes it gets hard to tell which of us is fronting since we feel somewhat similar, but I'm beginning to tell what makes us unique. I think this connection between me and him is what made me see him as a father figure. His anger, his stress, it's what caused us to split. And when we did, I still ended up being similar to him and taking his memories. I don't know if he'll see me as his kid or not, but I see him as my dad. I may only technically be 4 days old, but there's so much I've learned about myself already and more I'm excited to learn!

#it honestly feels like I've been around for wayyy longer #but that's also probably because I don't have much of a time-frame to compare my life to #4 days is a long time for me because that's literally my entire life-span thus far #ask #ask game #alien speaks #family stuff #system stuff #introject ask game

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fff777 · 5 months

Text

Finally got around to WayV Youth Awards

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Part 1

Lol the classic SM hall where so many live streams have taken place

Is Bella the self-insert love interest character lol

EDWARD YANG PLEASE (there is actually a director called Edward Yang that I like but this is clearly another genre of Edward Yang)

Winwin doing Someday or One Day roleplay!!!!!!!

Ohh so all of them have different love interests

Of course Hendery would pull some weeb shit. Also he's clearly reading the Japanese lines off of a screen lol.

His money guns are weak af bro.

I had to look it up, but Hendery is playing a Boys Over Flowers character.

Lol "Xiaojun is just playing himself."

Xiaojun is playing a character from Reply 1988

Kun couldn't even make it through his first line

Is Kun playing a character from Itazura na Kiss? I see that Itazura na Kiss is the original manga that It Started with a Kiss is based on, which is the media that I'm more familiar with.

Yangyang said Ten's tattoos don't match the image he was portraying lol.

I think Ten is playing a character from a Thai movie called A Little Thing Called Love.

All of them speaking in different languages and then being like "well...I guess we all speak Mandarin"

Hendery's money gun kept malfunctioning so he can't buy anything lol.

The caption's just like "...is anyone really listening to Kun?" Classic leader problems.

Hendery to Winwin: There might be people who haven't seen it yet, you've spoiled the show

Winwin: ...

Winwin: It's a great show!!!!!

Xiaojun two hit KO ToT

Taiwanese drama showdown :P

Both of them trying to speak with a Taiwanese accent lol. (By the way, Sicheng looks soooooooo pretty I'm gonna die)

Winwin being like "oh shit" because he hit Kun too hard

Why was Kun speaking to Winwin like that XD "你准備好了嗎?" but like in a very cutesy amicable way.

Emergency personnel on scene

The pot really is too heavy to lift quickly

Ang

Hendery continuing his weeb shit

Lol now they have to make the other person's heart rate go up

Xiaojun -> Kun

The other guys are trying to coach Xiaojun but ultimately he did not succeed much

Kun -> Xiaojun

Lol the stethoscope was really cold and Xiaojun was like NOOOOO

And then he was blowing in his ear and neck

AND THEN TICKLING HIM

Hendery, throwing down his money: 你先!!

Yangyang: 沒有這招

Part 2

Ten -> Yangyang

They bleeped this part out XD And Kun was like ??? what did you say??? because Yangyang started crying after XD

During the Yangyang -> Ten portion, Ten's heart rate dropped XD He was trying really hard to keep calm. And then Hendery was like 揚揚你努力一點行不行

Yangyang trying to do cute dance and it did NOTHING

Ten's heart rate when DOWN by 16 lol (I assume the measure is bpm)

Ok now Hendery -> Winwin

Bro?

WINWIN!!!!!

Hendery is going ALL OUT lmao is it because this is the only time he'll be allowed to openly flirt with Winwin XD And Winwin was like "不要!!!" but like in a really scared falsetto voice lol.

Hendery's just playing a character now lol

YUCKY Hendery was like "I love a rebel" lmfao

Hendery making THE MOST out of his added 15 seconds and laying it on THICK

LMAO I saw this before but Winwin swore because he was so disturbed XD

And then he hugged bunny (from Hendery) for comfort lol

Winwin -> Hendery was like..............pretty hopeless XD Xiaojun was like what a sleazy pickup line.

And Winwin was like ARGH I can't do this!!!!!! ToT

Lol Winwin just straight up gave up

LMAO Ten just straight up not letting Xiaojun do his mission

The camera work was a bit lacking during this part of the game because the guys who were supposed to be drawn on were generally sitting out of frame

Both Kun and Hendery drew circles instead of hearts lol

Winwin used a pass that would allow him to make a heart instead of draw a heart. Dude fell on the floor and was like "Yangyang, where are you?!?!?!" before dragging his arm down and making a heart lol.

Ten and the others giving Xiaojun another shot haha

Xiaojun with the MOST FRANTIC spins lmao

Nooooo Xiaojun getting drawn on lol

Ten bringing the camera over and Xiaojun being like NOOOOOO

Kun ended winning?????? Dark horse.

Yang: 錢...呃你叫什麽...?

I kind of died when they sang We are the champions while putting a tiara on Kun lmfao

OMGGGGG Ten used his superpower to add two hearts and snatch the title from Kun lmfao

Lol one more final Hendery vs. Ten heartbeat battle XD

#screencaps & commentaries #nct #wayv

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tiny-tigers · 6 months

Note

✨ Omg belgian chalamet noooo - somehow even worse because his baby face makes him look even younger than 24?! 😳

Instead of thinking about Dec as a 'jacky thing' maybe make it a friendship/English thing - you'll be back here with your girls! You can explore Leicester a bit more, get some cute xmas decs, I'm sure there will be xmas markets of some kind by then! ❄️🎁🎄🍷

New projects are good! I think making one of those projects a fitness goal would help your mental health so much! It's done wonders for me! I personally like lifting weights and I'm slowly getting back into my running - but a friend of mine recently recommended a YouTuber called 'grow with jo' who does these free aerobics videos lasting anywhere from 15-75 mins long and omg they are addictive! She is an actual angel and I am hooked - they get you properly sweating but don't actually kill you? 😆

I'd start doing 3-4 of those a week - all completely free - and you will feel the difference in no time! 💖

It is true that 'this too shall pass' covers both sadness and happiness, but instead of dwelling on the happiness ending, just focus on how good it is when you have it, and how it will always come back around again.

[I apologise if anything I say doesn't help or resonate - but I am quite happy by nature so I don't find myself dwelling on the bad times too much because I know they're only fleeting]

What am I scared of? Well I'm a massive over thinker and have talked myself out of so many things over the years - I've also been a bit of a perfectionist my whole life so have been reluctant to start things as I know I wouldn't be great at it straight away and that bothers me - which is ridiculous I know. But I'm working on both! Going to start throwing myself into things even if I'm scared or worried about not getting it right first time...!

I can still totally seeing you living in the UK one day, even if its not right now! Maybe look into museum/gallery/archive work in London anyway? Until then I would maybe focus on what you're already good at! Your drawing for example - have you ever thought about setting up a separate insta page for your art? People get massive followings from that now and go on to sell copies of their work on Etsy etc.? And if you don't fancy that then you could set up a 'sporting' YouTube account - I've seen your edits, they're really very good. You could earn ad revenue from that?? [you'd have to maybe make videos of players/teams you're not in love with but you could do that! 😜]

Whatever it is you end up doing - it needs to be for YOU! No plans with Jacky in the back of your mind. Do what is best for Amelie. The second you start prioritising yourself and focusing only on you, doors will magically open up for you.

💖💖💖 sending so much love 💖💖💖

*2024 is YOUR year*

P.S apologies for the length of this 👀 and for going all therapist on your ass 😆😭🙈

Speaking of which, I need your advice because in 2 weeks I'm invited to my ex-job christmas party (sounds weird). He will be there and idk if I should go.... It feels awkward on so many levels, I loved them and maybe it will be seen badly not to got and less connexions for future works but???? Idk I'm lost

very much aware he shouldn't be my priority and yet again I'm planning on watching 31 match...

We should do some missions and challenges when I'm abroad if you are ok to give me some ideas

like idk eat something new , talk to one stranger... Those kinds of challenges to make this trip more unusual without any plans but only surprises so no deceptions.

___

ah well forget it now I guess.....

and I cannot live in England without visa and they are impossible to get.

0 notes

cileevi · 10 months

Text

The Speed Of Pain: Mischief

Chapter Three

London, England

New Years' Eve 1997

Charlotte

It's so damned cold outside. The coldest day of this winter as a matter of fact. Which means I've been inside all day in my pajamas reading a script my agent sent me and drinking hot cocoa. The movie is called Pleasantville. I don't know if the role is a good fit for me honestly. It's about a brother and sister who get sent into a nineteen-fifties sitcom. Not really something I'm into.

I also have scripts for two animated movies. Both are about bugs funnily enough. Between the two, A Bugs Life is the clear winner. Princess Atta is kick ass and I love the story.

I'm also about to start recording a demo so hopefully, I'll be very busy come nineteen ninety-eight. Blowing hot breath across the window pane I draw a heart on the glass. It looks terribly gloomy outside. I love this time of year though. Aimie, Kelly, Jack, and I have been sledding every day this week with the auto sleds Dad got us for Christmas.

We had a good one this year. In fact, the only thing that would have made it better is if Marilyn could have joined us. After Ozzfest ended he shocked the hell out of me by asking if I would join him on the Canadian leg of his Dead To The World tour.

As you could imagine I didn't say no. After that night in Vegas, we became inseparable. Until now that is. He's finishing up the rest of the tour and then heading to L.A. to record the next album. I guess I'm just a bit conflicted with the thought of not seeing him for a while.

It's left me very confused in many ways. Clearly, he's into me, but as of yet hasn't made a move. There were a couple of times I was seconds away from doing it myself, but every damn time someone would interrupt us. It has me all kinds of confused and bewildered.

" I know that look. " Sharon says nearly scaring me to death. " You're missing him, yes? "

She laughs at my expression. " He hasn't called. I know I could have stayed with him, but I wanted to spend this time with you guys. Do you think he's angry? "

" Of course not. I think he's busy. This tour is a big deal for him and the band. Don't you worry, he'll call soon you'll see. Now have you made a decision on what movie you want? "

" A Bugs Life. " I tell her with a shrug.

Smiling fondly at me she says, "Somehow I knew you'd pick this one. Come now, it's almost time to prepare for the party. "

The party she's speaking of is just a family affair. Home-made pizza, cupcakes, and booze for the adults. A proper Osbourne New Year in London.

...

Dad takes a piece of freshly cut pizza off of the tray and juggles it back and forth in his hands. He blows on it a few times before taking a bite.

" It's a bit too hot. " He says with a burnt tongue while Aimie and Jack laugh.

I give him a " really? " look. " You just saw me take that tray out of the oven and cut it. "

" Oh, fuck off Schroeder. " He says with a wave of his hand.

Shaking my head I turn back around to see Kelly running into the kitchen. " Marilyn's on the phone. He wants to talk to you. "

" Thanks, Kels. Keep an eye on the pizza in the oven. " I say before heading up into my room. Picking the receiver up, I clicked line five. " Hello? "

Took you long enough.

I could say the same thing to him but don't. " Are you trying to be cheeky? "

I'm all cheek, honey. How was your Christmas?

" It was great. I got to see my other brothers and sister. " I'm talking about Jessica, Elliot, and Lewis of course. All three are older than I am and we never get to see each other. " It's always fun when all the Osbourne kids get together. "

Uh-huh, now tell me how much you miss me.

No, he did not. There's no way I'm that transparent that he could pick up on it over the phone.

"Conceited much? " I joke.

Maybe I just want to know that I'm not the only one feeling separation anxiety.

My heart jumps in my chest and I have to be honest. " I really miss you... More than I thought I would actually. "

Now was that so hard?

I stick my tongue out knowing he can't see me.

You didn't just do what I think you did.

" I don't know what you're talking about. " I say faking nonchalantness.

I want to see you... What do I need to do to make that happen?

" Clarification. " I say quickly before I can take it back.

On what?

" On us. " I answer and I swear he's silently laughing on the other end.

Us?

I roll my eyes. " Yeah. You know what I mean. "

Does my girlfriend really need clarification?

I roll my eyes. " Was that so hard? " I throw back in his face.

Nope. You've been mine since Vegas. Hell, all I've been able to think about is you since we separated, happy now? The band has been in hell since Canahda. ( his own weird pronunciation of the country )They're all confused as fuck. It's pretty funny actually.

Now that is funny. I can see him being such a dick from the rest of the band for kicks.

" Okay. When? " I ask not being able to wait.

Right now. Come downstairs.

I can feel my forehead wrinkle in confusion. " What? "

You heard me

Click

Running back downstairs I go from room to room before finding everyone eating without me. Marilyn turns around and gives me a mischievous smile

that makes me want to melt into a puddle. Damn, what is this man doing to me?

His smile widens when he realizes the effect he's having. Kelly gives me the same mischievous grin and everything clicks. She set me up.

" This pizza is delicious. " He says before taking another bite of his slice.

Kelly smiles proudly. " Lotty and I made it. "

" She cooks too? " He asks her in mock shock. " Where's the Parson when you need him? "

I know he isn't making a marriage joke because of my cooking. I do feel a bit proud though. He barely eats any other time. I will note that he finished his first piece and is now starting on a second. A feeling of triumph flows through me.

" My mom and I took a cooking class when I was in high school. I've been teaching Kelly the basics because lord knows she won't learn from this one. " I say pointing at Sharon.

She makes no excuses. " I prefer to lend my talents elsewhere. "

Getting a couple of pieces of pizza I sit in between Jack and Kelly. Looking over at dad, he's chowing down on his food and not the least interested in the conversation.

" We even made brownies for dessert. " Kelly tells him before lifting the lid off of the display tray in the center of the table.

He looks at the treats like a crackhead looks at the crack. " I'm not going to fit into my clothes anymore after this visit. " He says as he swipes one of the brownies off of the tray.

" Good. " Sharon says as she fills everyone's glass with red wine. " You're too thin. It will do you some good to let Charlotte fatten you up a bit. "

Subtle Sharon, real subtle.

After eating I take Marilyn on a tour of the house. It's actually very beautiful and I love getting to come out here. We end up in the grandiose studio sharing a piano bench facing each other and chatting.

" You could have told me you were coming. " I say when there's a lull in the conversation.

Resting his hands on my thighs he leans in closer. " I wanted to surprise you. Besides, we missed Christmas and I wanted to give you your gift. "

I cock my head as he pulls out a small wrapped package from the inside of his jacket. " You didn't have to get me anything. "

" It isn't much, but I think you'll like it. " He says as I unwrap the paper to reveal a framed picture of us from last month.

It was taken after one of the shows. I'm straddling his lap and he's allowing me to touch up his makeup before we headed out to some party. We're both looking into each other's eyes with huge smiles on our faces. Who even took this photo?

" Wow. I love it, thank you. " I say genuinely touched by his gift.

Looking at his face, his eyes bare down into mine and I scoot closer to him. Just like magnets, our mouths gravitate until we're sharing a sweet kiss. One of the sweetest I've ever received and it's from someone known as the antichrist.

Such an oxymoron.

Reaching to my ear, I take one of my dragon hoops out of my left earlobe and hook it in his.

" Hot. " I say while flicking it back and forth.

He fingers the earring himself and smiles a bit. " That your way of marking your territory? "

" I like the thought of a piece of me always being with you. " I say simply.

Lacing our fingers together he says, " I like the thought of you always being with me ".

" Me too. " I say shyly into his neck.

I feel his heartbeat rapidly against my chest and it makes me shiver. It's good to know that I have just as much of an effect on him.

" Play me something. " He says gesturing to the piano.

Knowing how much he loves it when I play, I oblige. Turning around in the correct position I place my fingers on the keys and start playing.

" When they push when they pull tell me, can you hold on? When they say you should change can you lift your head high and stay strong? Will you give up, give in, when your heart's crying out that it's wrong? Will you love you for you at the end of it all?

Now in life, there's gonna be times when you're feeling low. And in your mind insecurity seems to take control. We start to look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval. "

" That sounds good, Schroeder. " Dad says from the doorway having heard the music from down the hall. He takes a seat and I turn to face both of them.

" Thanks, Dad. " I say smiling at him from over my shoulder. " It still needs work. "

Marilyn nudges me with his shoulder. " I love your voice. It's like an onion, it has layers. "

"Your voice when you're singing and not screaming is nice too. " I tell him honestly.

His eyebrows or lack there of raise in surprise. " Think so? "

I nod. " Yup. You can sing to me any day. "

" What do you have scheduled for the foreseeable future? " He asks slyly after thinking about it for a few moments.

Thinking, I say, " nothing until I start working on A Bugs Life next month ".

" Good. " He says with a nod. " I have some time off so we're heading to L.A. in the morning. I want to get another tattoo on the strip. "

Did he just make the decision for me? Again- Kind of hot.

" Don't go getting any ideas, Schroeder. " Dad cuts in. " Tattoos are unnecessary. "

" Says the guy with over ten. " I tease.

Shaking his head he says, " I'm just saying, you don't just get one. One always leads to twenty. "

Marilyn watches the banter between us in interest.

" And I'm just saying, it's pretty hypocritical. " I tell him challengingly. " If I want one, I'll get one. "

Dad glares at me from behind his glasses. " I guess I'm just chopped liver, man. How I feel doesn't matter. "

" When it comes to my body you sure are chopped liver, sorry Daddy. Things change when one becomes an adult. " I clarify for him.

He waves me off. " Oh, fuck off, Schroeder. "

I giggle knowing I won.

Marilyn

Charlotte leaves Ozzy and I alone in the studio to help Kelly clean up the kitchen. It's hard to believe that she's so domestic but it's a good change of pace with the women I've been dealing with as of late. A woman that knows her way around the kitchen is always valuable to have around. And if she's good in the bedroom... Well, she's a keeper. Not that I've had the pleasure... Yet.

Realizing that I'm thinking of fucking Ozzy's daughter right in front of him I clear my throat and turn to face him.

" You know I don't mind Charlotte hanging around you. " He says as if he knows my every thought. " You're a good lad and it's evident that you're smitten. "

Smiling nervously I say, " I just want you to know that I've been a complete gentleman in every way. It's all on her terms. "

" As it should be. " He says with a shrug. " If I've learned anything about women it's to let them lead where sex is concerned. "

He has never lied to me. I've always let women make the first move. And with Charlotte being a virgin I have to reel in my raging hormones. I know from experience that moving too fast with a virgin can scare them off. Especially with what I'm packing in the dick department.

Needless to say, I'm ready whenever she is. " I really do like her. " I tell him seriously. " She isn't just some girl on the road. I'm fully aware of how lucky I am that she gives me the time of day. "

" Don't sell yourself so short, Manson. She's just as smitten with you, you know? " He promises wholeheartedly.

Only time will tell I guess.

#MarilynManson #bands #fanfiction #novels #Romance #heartbreak #ozzyosbourne #rockandroll

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lindsaywesker · 2 years

Text

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

I’ve got three blue robes (which get washed regularly, so I can rotate them) but do you think I should treat myself to a robe of a different colour? Browns and greens are good colours on me; they match my hazel eyes, which go green in summer.

Yesterday was a cracking day! Taught between 2.00 – 4.00. Again, I didn’t finish my slide presentation; we got so wrapped-up in discussion! As it goes, I’m putting a stop to that. We need to finish the slides, complete the thought process and draw a line under the subject, so we can start something new next week. Having said that, having a full, enthusiastic and conversational class is a problem I can live with!

Message from my Twitter feed yesterday, “My eldest just announced that her secondary school couldn’t afford heating this year with price rises, so they won’t be turning radiators on. She will have to bring blankets. To school. To keep warm. This is the UK 2022.” The 1% do not want us to be educated. If we are educated, we will question their policies. The ruling class don’t want a middle class, they want us all to stay working class, so we’ll be grateful for pittance wages.

Wow, Labour MP Rupa Huq is in hot water! She described Kwasimodo as “superficially black” and immediately got suspended by the party. Needless to say, my Twitter feed has been full of black people saying virtually the same thing for the last week but, Rupa, I guess you need to choose your moments, love? She has apologised and backtracked furiously but, possibly, too little too late?

Following on from my message yesterday about a woman selling a record collection, I now have a very good list of ‘serious buyers’ and their phone numbers, so if there are any of you looking to SELL a music collection, please let me know!

Dasia Johnson. You’re unlikely to hear about her in a UK newspaper. It��s quite a sensational story, you’d think they’d be interested? It happened in Brooklyn, New York. She was only 22 years old, her whole life ahead of her, but she was murdered last week by her abusive boyfriend, who literally chopped her up into pieces and stuffed her into rubbish bags. Blood everywhere! Even in America, this horrific crime barely made a blip in the news. Only a handful of news outlets covered it. Oh, did I forget to say she was black? Why worry about a dead black woman when the media can harass and bully a real live one?

The Tory leadership contest! Do you remember how long they pored over that decision? Weeks of endless debate (if you can call it that!) Hours and hours of TV discussing who was better: Mistrust or Fishi Ballsack? Needless to say, they are as useless as one another but Mistrust may actually go down in history as the shortest-serving prime minister! Unless she comes out of hiding, she is toast! Leaders lead, they don’t go missing at the first sign of trouble! BREAKING NEWS: Mistrust is in Ukraine, speaking to the president about the ongoing crisis. Zelensky has promised to provide all the assistance he can.

Unbelievable scenes in Iran right now. The death of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini is the straw that has broken the camel’s back. Amini, from the north-western Kurdish city of Saqez, died in hospital three days after she was arrested, after falling into a coma. Allegedly tortured and beaten by Iran’s ‘morality police’. For the last few days, women have been publicly cutting their hair and marching – side by side with men - through the streets, protesting against an oppressive and misogynistic regime. On my Twitter feed, I asked, what are these Iranian men scared of? Kindness? Compassion? Cooking? I think we all know why the caged bird sings.

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?) I love you all.

#mixcloud #mi soul #dj #music #lockdown #new blog #coronavirus #books #weekend #democracy #brexit #cronyism #election #autumm

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 3 years

Text

A Lick of Paint

Summary: Spencer has no idea his best friend is harboring a secret talent

A/N: This was is one-shot request from a little while ago! I hope you guys enjoy it

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Artist!Reader)

Category: Fluff & Smut

Warnings/Includes: smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, riding, paint is involved (but it doesn’t go anywhere it shouldn’t), please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 3.6k

Request: “Would u do one where it’s a fem!reader x spencer (smut or fluff what ever feels right) where they’re best friends and the reader is very private and one day spencer comes over to her apartment and sees that she’s a really talented painter/drawer/artist ? Thank u!!”

Masterlist

— —

He didn’t have a crush on her. No way. She was just his best friend, nothing more. Just his best friend who he thought about all the time, his best friend who he knew everything about, who he couldn't wait until tomorrow to see.

They got in from their latest case at half past midnight, he was a night owl, and he knew she was too, so why would she mind him showing up uninvited? He hadn’t seen her in 15 days and he probably could wait one more, but he really didn't want to.

Showing up at her door after 1am with a bottle of wine and some snacks he took a minute to run his fingers through his hair and straighten out his shirt before he knocked on the door. He could hear a rustling from the other side, and he could see the light shifting about beneath the door frame. So she was home, and she was awake, and he was trying to suppress his eager little smile.

“You can’t keep calling over this late Mrs. Warner! I don’t have any of your mail—Spencer!” she says it in a little yelp as she pulls the door completely open. And she's standing in front of him in nothing but an oversized button up shirt, her hair’s all messy around her head and there’s a little pencil tucked behind her ear.

He’s not really sure what’s going on but he’s sure that he likes it.

“Just me” he pulls his lips into a small smile and gives a tiny little wave with his free hand, shaking the bottle of wine in his other. “I hope I’m not intruding, we just got in earlier than I thought we would and I figured you’d still be up”

As he’s explaining she’s shutting the door slightly again, hiding her body behind it just a little. And even if he wasn’t a profiler he’d know she was uncomfortable, so he starts to shake his head.

“You know what, don’t worry about it! I can come back another time— or I can— I can give you some space if you need it? This was a stupid idea anyway, I should go— I’m gonna go!” he knows he sounds stupid, he’s a rambling mess but before he can properly retreat she’s swinging the door open fully again, reaching out for him and just grabbing him by the strap of his satchel.

“No Spencer wait! I’m happy to see you, I really am” she pulls him to the doorway, letting him step inside. “It’s just— messy? And you haven’t seen my apartment like this before” she’s rushing it out once he gets inside, placing her hands on his shoulders to try and spin him around before he can catch a glimpse of the state of her living room.

“Just gimme a second to tidy—”

“Do you— are you an artist?” he’s not even listening to her anymore, he’s completely fixed on the pages and sketchbooks all scattered around her living room. The sofa is pulled back to create space for the huge canvas that’s spread out all over the floor. Paints and brushes all lined up next to it.

“No!” she shakes her head, “Well not really, I just, I draw sometimes, and paint I guess? But it’s just for me” she’s still got her hands on his shoulders, trying to turn him around in spite of the fact that he’s already seen everything she was trying to hide. Or had managed to keep hidden until now.

“You never told me?” he just looks confused now more than anything, but his eyes are still blown wide as he starts to walk towards the area of the room covered in her materials.

“It’s really nothing Spencer, I didn’t want to tell you, because then you’d want to see, and then I wouldn’t want to show you, or I would show you, and then you’d hate it, and you’d just tell me you liked it to be nice, and I can tell when you’re lying Spencer, and I couldn’t handle that. So yeah, I didn’t tell you. But I haven't told anyone.” she’s not looking at him when she speaks anymore, her hands are just wrapped tight around her body protectively. This felt like she was so entirely exposed.

She had only kept two secrets from him all these years. Her art. And her unending infatuation for him. How could she not let him in when he showed up at her front door so excited, and looking so cute in his little sweater with his messy curls.

“Hey” he reaches out, placing a gentle hand on her forearm, coaxing her to unwrap them. So they fall to her sides and she feels even more exposed now. “If you want me to go, I’ll go. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. If you want me to stand out in the hall while you hide all of this stuff, and then we pretend none of this happened, I’ll get comfy out there right now. But I just need you to know that I love you very much, and I’d support anything you ever choose to do. And I know what I want shouldn't factor in, but for what it’s worth, I would like to see some of your work— It doesn't have to be now! But just, if you ever wanted to show me anything, I’d love to see it.”

She can feel how earnest the words are, and she knew he loved her, but it was always so nice to hear it out loud, coming from those gorgeous pink lips. She wants to speak but the words feel like they’re almost caught in her throat when she looks up at him, she has to force them out.

“I’ll show you” she breathes, “I want to show you”

His eyebrows shoot up as she speaks, “I didn't mean— you don’t have to!” he rushes out as she goes to fetch one of her sketchbooks from the ground, handing it to him.

“I want to, honestly. If someones going to see this stuff, I want it to be you” once the sketchbook’s in his grip and out of her hands completely she walks away from him, going to sit on the ground next to the canvas. Right where she’d been sitting when he knocked on the door earlier.

Neither of them say a word while he goes through it page by page. It doesn't occur to her that she’s not sure which one she handed him until she can hear footsteps approaching her from behind.

When he sits down beside her he’s got the sketchbook open to a double spread and she recognizes it instantly.

“Are these drawings of me?” he asks, and it’s almost a whisper, like he doesn’t want to scare her. But she nods.

“Um, yeah. There’s actually a bunch of you in these sketchbooks. Your bone structure is just— I don't know— it’s nice to look at” his lips curve up in a small smile at that.

“You think I’m nice to look at?” he teases and she rolls her eyes,

“From an artistic perspective, you're interesting” she tries to walk it back.

“So now I’m just interesting?” he asks, a little smug now that he can tell she’s nervous.

“That’s not what I said!” he starts to chuckle then, closing the notebook and placing it down on the ground behind him.

“Relax, I’m messing with you, and for what it’s worth I think you’re nice to look at too. From any perspective” those few words make her forget where she is completely, they make her feel an entirely different kind of worry than the one she’d been experiencing earlier.

“And I love your work. You said you could tell when I was lying, am I lying?” he’s looking straight into her eyes as he speaks, and she can feel the way her heart is palpitating.

“No, you’re, uh, you're telling the truth” she shakes her head, but his eyes stay focused on her.

“What’s going on this canvas then?” he asks with a smile, and she breaks the eye contact so she can grab another one of her notebooks to show him some of the thumbnails she’d drawn for it.

“This is the idea, I think I need to practice it on something smaller though, just to get a feel for it” she explains as she points to the different shapes on the page, but then Spencer gets an idea.

“Use me” he says, and she just looks at him perplexed, “You said I was interesting, use me as your canvas?” he pulls off his cardigan as he speaks, rolling up his shirt sleeves to expose his bare arms.

“Spencer, I meant like, a smaller sheet or something, not your arm!” she’s laughing it off, mostly because being in close contact like that with him would probably break her.

“Well use my back then” he says it like it’s obvious, taking off his tie, then unbuttoning his shirt from the top, getting to the third button before she reaches out to stop him.

“You don’t have to do that” she says it with a laugh, like her heart’s not beating out of her chest from the little glimpse of bare skin she can see through the open part of his shirt.

He looks straight into her eyes as he speaks, “I want to.” the words settle in the air between them and they come to a silent agreement. Her hands falling from his so that he can undo the rest of his buttons, shrugging out of his shirt so that she can see his bare torso.

He sits like that for a second, awaiting instructions.

“Um, you should lie down on your front” she says, gesturing to the canvas laid out on the ground, “Wait!” she calls out as he moves to lie down, “You should probably take off your trousers? I don’t wanna get paint on them or anything”

It’s the truth really, but it still feels silly to say out loud. Luckily he just laughs a little and takes them off, but the little clinking sound his belt makes does something to her breathing.

By the time he’s laying face down on the canvas, his head resting on his folded arms, she’s got her materials all lined up next to her. She kneels down beside him, but as she's about to start it occurs to her that this is the complete wrong angle to start the piece. And she knows where she needs to sit, but she’s got no idea how to ask.

“Spencer— I can’t really— this angle is a bit, um…” she stutters

“Maybe you should sit on me?” he asks, uncharacteristically calm, maybe it was the way her voice kept going up an octave, or how fast her heart had been beating almost this entire time, but something made him realize that he wasn’t the nervous one here for maybe the first time since he’d known her.

“You would— You don't mind?” she asks before even moving, and he smiles to himself.

“How could I?”

With that she climbs in top of him, resting a leg either side of his hips. She’s painfully aware that the only thing separating them now is the thin layer of each of their underwear. But she pushes the thought aside as she gets to work.

Spencer’s quiet and well behaved for most of it, only remarking every now and again when the paint was cold against his skin, or when he had to move just a little. All in all she’s finished within an hour.

“Are you finished?” he asks, his eyes closed, relaxing beneath her as she worked. There was something almost therapeutic about the feeling of the brushstrokes against his skin. But he hadn’t felt one for 3 whole minutes now.

“Yeah, sorry, I was just admiring it” she says, “I’ll take a picture for you” she reaches for her phone, snapping a quick photo. Then she sits up off of him and he misses the weight of her on top of him instantly.

When he sits up she sits down opposite him, handing over the phone so that he can take a look at the painting that adorned his back. He almost couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. The delicate lines, the striking colors, the perfect hands that had painted it.

“This is— I don’t even have the words” he says it in a hushed whisper, “I love it so much” she knows he’s telling the truth again, his eyes don't even look up from the screen to see her reaction, they’re still completely transfixed on the photo. When he does look up he’s smiling.

“Am I telling the truth?” he asks and she nods, but something about her nervous little expression, coupled with her sky-rocketing heart rate gives him the confidence he’s needed for years.

“What if I told that I’ve liked you for a very long time? Would I be telling the truth about that?” his smile is gone, instead it’s replaced with half-lidded eyes and softly parted lips.

For a second she’s not even sure if this is really happening, her eyes trail along his bare torso, taking in the tiny bits of paint that made it down his sides. When her eyes come back up to look in his own, still trained on her she can’t even speak, instead she’s lunging at him, pulling him in by the back of the neck and crashing their lips together.

She parts hers after a moment, allowing Spencer to slip his tongue inside, tangling with her own as his hands fly out to grab her by the waist, pulling her into his lap. When they break apart their chests are heaving, breathing ragged, staring straight into each others eyes.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long” he gasps before his lips are on hers again, hungry and eager.

Her hands start to roam all over his body, soothing over the planes of his skin, digging her fingernails in every now and again, forcing a little moan out of Spencer each time. When he finally grows too impatient his fingers start to work open the buttons on her oversized shirt.

After a minute he’s managed to get them all open and he can pull the shirt apart. As it slouches off of her shoulders he can see her underwear, it’s mismatched and there’s something endearing about it. The fact that neither of them anticipated this. But that was probably for the best, if he knew this is what he was going to do tonight his nerves would’ve gotten the better of him.

His hands are on her immediately, grabbing her breasts over the light cotton fabric, squeezing them gently as he presses his mouth against her neck, planting soft kisses all along it. She takes the time to shrug out of the shirt completely, and his hands snake behind her to unhook her bra and pull it off. Exposing her breasts completely for just a second before his mouth is on them. Cupping one in each hand and placing rough, sloppy kisses all over the soft skin as she moans above him.

“Spencer” she says it with a little gasp as his lips wrap around one of her nipples, just the sound of his name tumbling from her lips was enough to make him hard.

“I need you” she whimpers, and he's gone, bringing one of his hands down between her legs, ghosting over the crotch of her panties to feel the damp patch that had formed there.

“You’re so wet for me” he breathes against her ear, pushing one of his fingers harshly against the fabric, right against her clit, forcing another moan from deep in her chest.

“Fuck, I’ve been wet since I climbed on top of you” she moans, “I was worried you were gonna be able to feel it” she says with a breathy laugh.

“If I’d have been able to feel this,” he says, rubbing small circles over her panties, “then you wouldn’t have gotten to finish that painting”

Once he takes his fingers away she pushes him down by his shoulders, finally straddling the other side of his hips like she’d been thinking about doing for the past hour, or past several years. But he lets out a small yelp of protest.

“The painting!” he says as his back collides with the canvas but she chuckles.

“Fuck the painting” she leans in planting feverish kisses all along the expanse of his neck, sucking and biting in spots so that they’d hopefully leave little bruises later on.

From there they both give up on trying to preserve any of the art on Spencer’s back. Within a matter of minutes it was smeared all along the canvas beneath them. Along with some of the paint one, or both of them, had managed to knock over.

He’s not sure exactly how it happened but at one point he grips her waist and leaves a blue hand print along her skin from the paint he’d managed to put his palm in. When she catches sight of it she just lets out a small laugh.

“I don’t care” she says, when he’s looking up at her with just the smallest hint of worry, “As long as it doesn't get inside me we’re alright”

Before they get too messy she sits up off of him for a minute, taking off her panties and using them to wipe off the little bit of paint that had somehow ended up next to Spencer’s bottom lip. He lets out a small gasp as she traces the fabric along his skin and mutters a tiny, “Good as new” in her sultry sweet voice.

And then her lips are on his again as one of her hands snakes down in-between them to pull at the waistband of his boxers, she gets them down far enough to pull his cock out so that it was right in front of her. He was already achingly hard but something about the size of if in her nimble fingers made him twitch in her grip, leaking from the head with the anticipation.

“God, the things I want to do to you” she gasps as she pumps him up and down in long last strokes, squeezing every now and again as he squirmed underneath her, “But right now I need you inside me Spencer”

With that she rises up on her knees, hovering over him and lining his cock up right between her legs. She takes a second to tease him, running the head through her folds, so that he could feel and hear just how wet she was for him. Once he looks like he can’t take even one more second of the teasing she lowers her hips slowly, sinking down onto his length bit by bit. Right until her hips were flush with his own and he was buried completely inside of her.

They both had to take a minute to savor the feeling. The way she was so wet and warm around him, so tight that he could feel the way she clenched around him.

The way he stretched her out so perfectly, filling her up in a way that made her think they might actually be made for each other.

And then she starts to move, pumping her hips up and down, leaning forward slightly so that she can rest her hands on his flushed chest for support. She starts off slow, almost at a teasing pace, taking him in as deep as she could each time.

“You feel even better than I imagined” he mutters, his hands coming up to grab her hips, leaving another set of handprints in their wake. “So perfect”

She leans down a little further so that she can place a small kiss on his lips.

“God, you do to! Didn’t know it could feel this good” she moans without really thinking about it, and then she realizes it’s the truth. Something about the anticipation made all of this feel so much better than it ever had with anyone else.

With his hands guiding her now, gripping her harshly, she starts to move faster. Working up and down with more force, both of them panting and moaning desperately as they grew closer and closer.

He’d dreamt about it, imagined it, thought about it, more times than he’d care to admit. But seeing her now, on top of him with her lips softly parted, little whines falling out of her as she hit her climax, he realized his mind could never do this justice.

“Fuck! Ah— Spencer, I’m gonna—” her hips slow to almost a stop, working up and down still but with staggered movements as she rides out her high. Thankfully Spencer’s only a second behind her and she can feel the way he's spilling inside of her, filling her up completely. Then she collapses flat onto his chest, both of them are covered in a sheen of sweat that almost makes their bare skin stick together.

“You’re covered in paint you know” is the first thing Spencer says, his fingers tracing along her back.

“You’re one to talk” she jokes, dragging her finger through the streak of red paint that had gotten on his neck somehow.

Then he finally turns his head, looking at the spilled and smeared paint that lay around them on the once bare canvas.

“I thought you needed this canvas for that painting?” he asks, but she just looks up at him with a smile.

“I think this turned out better”

– –

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