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shorkbrian · 3 years

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ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!! A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me.

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you.

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

#shorkbrian answers a lot of asks #pls block that tag if you don't want to see these kinds of posts #inbox was getting fulll #tysvm for continuing to support me

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worldwidemochiguy · 4 years

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100 days (soft yandere! Taehyung)

Summary: You and Taehyung celebrate your 100th day anniversary... again. (it’s really 274 days, but who’s counting?)

Word Count: 3.7K

Authors note: This was in response to an anon requesting a part 4 for made for each other, so thank u to them :))))) and also ig enjoy

Made For Each Other Masterlist

General Masterlist

You hummed, turning the bukkimi over again to see the bottom had turned a pleasant golden brown. You swiftly took it from the frying pan and placed it on the plate next to all the others you had just pan-fried, forming two rows of neat white pouches decorated with edible flower petals. You knew you had, perhaps, gone a bit overboard for your 100 day anniversary, but you wanted to make it special.

On your first 100 day anniversary — a little over three months after he had taken you — Taehyung had been so sweet, even if you weren’t quite ready to accept him yet, still clinging onto the childish notion of independence. You had woken up to a beautiful dress set out for you to wear, one that you had no other choice but to don sullenly since he had anticipated you wanting to disobey him and had taken all of your other clothes and hidden them.

He had made you breakfast in bed — your favourite breakfast, actually — and served it along with a single rose. You had taken the food and sequestered yourself in your room. At lunch, he had asked if you wanted to eat a meal with him on the couch and watch TV — something he had not let you do since he took you. That was probably the first time you were voluntarily enjoying yourself in his company, eating the pizza he ordered and sat as far away from him on the couch as was physically possible. In the evening, he had taken you to a restaurant that he had completely booked out. It was just the two of you, and the moonlight, and the terrified chef who you were pretty sure Taehyung had threatened to kill if he didn’t stay and make the two of you the best meals you’d ever had in your lives. You didn’t realise it then, but you looking back you realised how romantic Taehyung was, even though you had been unpleasant and ungrateful the entire day.

Now, you had a chance to finally make it up to him. It was the 9th of October, 100 days after your first kiss and you were determined to celebrate this with him since you had ruined the first 100 day anniversary. Taehyung always went above and beyond to demonstrate his love for you; constantly buying you gifts, treating you with kindness and patience even when you disobeyed him, and protecting you from anything and anyone that would try to hurt you. You were so lucky to have him.

When he left for work in the morning, you had persuaded him to let you stay behind, complaining that you had a stomach ache. He was fully prepared to stay with you and take care of you in bed — an offer that had been very difficult to refuse — but you assured him that you would be fine at home alone. He had made you promise to text him at least once every twenty minutes, a promise you were glad to make, and left after a prolonged make-out session, “to make up for all the kisses I’ll be missing at work today” Taehyung had argued.

“I’d hope so!” You shot back, “I won’t be very happy if I decide to come in and see you fucking Jimin over a desk.” You had intended to make him laugh, but instead he pulled you into his chest, crushing you there as he whispered into your hair.

“Never,” his voice was hushed, but almost scarily fervent, “I’d never betray you, baby, never. I’d rather die.” Slightly shocked by his reaction, but touched to your core at the sentiment he was expressing, you had burrowed into his arms, reaching up slightly to place a kiss on his jaw. He leaned down return a chaste kiss before pulling back with a deadly serious expression you seldom saw him wearing directed at you.

“I don’t ever want to hear you doubt me again, baby. You have to trust me, always.”

“No, I-I know,” you had stuttered in the face of his controlled anger, “I was making a joke, but it wasn’t funny, and I shouldn’t have done it.” His shoulders loosened slightly. “I’m sorry Tae.” He sighed and pulled you back into his chest.

“It’s ok, baby.”

“Will I be punished?” He stilled for a second, chewing his lip contemplatively. You held your breath.

“No.” You exhaled. “I wouldn’t punish my baby when she feels poorly. Besides, you’ve learnt your lesson, haven’t you?” You nodded eagerly and he tapped your nose with a smile, before kissing you goodbye.

You had fought with yourself over whether or not to call him and ask him to come back to the apartment for almost forty minutes after he left. You hated lying to him, and every second without him felt like a moment wasted, but you knew you should make this day perfect for him. Your suffering would simply be a demonstration of your love, after all, it wasn’t like you had never suffered for him in order to prove your love before.

You started off by doing an intense clean of the apartment. After spending the better part of two hours — admittedly, about half an hour of that was spent giggling on the phone texting Taehyung while he should’ve been in a meeting — on your knees scrubbing every surface until it shined, you dotted scented candles around various points in the apartment. You didn’t light them, partly because it would be a waste since they wouldn’t be properly appreciated until much later in the day and also because you knew Tae would never be ok with you doing anything that dangerous, especially on your own.

You gathered up flowers Tae had bought for you and placed them in vases in strategic well-lit areas, the sunlight from the window bleeding through translucent petals and tinting the light a soft pink. You had even printed selcas Tae and you had taken together and pegged them on strings hanging from the walls, as well as a few of his favourite photos of you that he had taken while he was still first getting to know you from afar. He really was a skilled photographer. He had managed to take such beautiful shots, all while you remained unaware of his existence. You draped a white tablecloth over the smaller dining table, the one that would allow you to sit directly across from each other as if you were on a real date in a restaurant, and placed a small note on top of it.

100 days since our first kiss ♡

i can’t wait for countless hundreds more (of both days and kisses xxx)

i am so grateful every day that you saw me and for some reason thought i was worthy of you,

i love you tae and i can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together !!!

- your girlfriend ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Now, you had just finished what you planned to bring out for dessert in what you had internally dubbed The Ultimate 100-Day Date for Tae My Amazing Wonderful Perfect Boyfriend (you were thinking of maybe shortening the name a bit). You were just about to get out the sweet potatoes to slice up for the Japchae main course when the door swung open with a bang.

You screamed as a man ran into the apartment. He turned to you - Oh my God, I’m going to die - and dropped his suitcase- suitcase? Why does he have a-

Oh, it’s Tae.

Guess I won’t die after all. Or I will, since he seems determined to squeeze me to death.

Taehyung was crushing you to his chest, gripping you tight enough to bruise, as he muttered something unintelligible into your hairline. His body was shaking, with relief or hysteria, or both, you just didn’t know.

“Tae- hey, Tae-” He shoved himself off you abruptly and you gasped in a relieving breath, too focused on getting oxygen in to worry about the expression on his face.

“Baby…” his tone was dark, dangerous — he may have called you something affectionate but there was nothing on his face that expressed anything remotely related to love. It was chilling.

“Tae… you’re back early.” He was back early, way too early, two hours early, this basically ruined your plan to surprise him. Though, he didn’t seem to have noticed the changed decor of the apartment so who knows, maybe he wouldn’t realise.

“Well, I had to leave work early and come back after someone forgot to text me for over an hour.”

Ah. Fuck.

You had felt guilty for texting him for so long earlier in the day. This meant that when the alarm you had set chimed, reminding you to text him again, you had ignored it thinking that you would be able to text in five minutes. You had not remembered to text him after five minutes, or ten, or thirty, or sixty. And now he was pissed.

“I come home expecting to find you collapsed, unconscious because of your stomach pains that had caused you to feel so ill that you absolutely had to stay at home today, alone, on your own insistence.” You gulped. You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves and it wanted you to whimper in submission. You think you did, and if anything it made only made him more incensed.

“And instead I find you miraculously cured from the pain you ensured me would cause you to stay in bed all day, within reaching distance from your phone, making fucking bukkimi.”

As he spoke, he stalked closer to you like a lion circling its helpless prey, cunningly manoeuvring himself around until your back was pressed against the wall with nowhere else to run and he was in front of you, eyes practically sparking fire.

“Who the fuck are you making this for anyway? Who is he? Tell me his name, baby, I want to hear you scream it as you watch the life drain out of his eyes. As you watch him die for touching you. I’ll kill him for touching you, baby. I’ll kill every motherfucker on the planet that touches you, and I’ll make you watch, I swear to God. I can’t hurt you like that but I’ll make you regret it.”

“T-Tae,” you stuttered, lips quivering, and his lips twisted into a cruel smirk,

“Wrong name, baby. I said I wanted his name, and I know you weren’t making these for me. You said so yourself, you weren’t expecting me. I’m home early.” He mocked your words cruelly, and you felt the floodgates break, finally allowing the sobs to punch their way out of your throat. You couldn’t believe Tae thought that you- that you would- you couldn’t even think the repulsive thought you were sure his head was full of.

You were going to be sick. All you wanted to do was make this 100 day anniversary special since you had ruined the last one, but you ended up ruining this one too.

Tae simply watched as you released your tears, seemingly unaffected, but you could see his hands clenching into tight fists, white-knuckled in the attempt not to touch you, to comfort you. This little fact gave you some hope, and you let yourself have five seconds to control your sobs before straightening up again, looking him in the eye and praying he could see the sincerity in them.

“I’m sorry. You’re right; I lied to you.” He took this like a physical blow, and reared back, undoubtedly preparing to shout at you some more, so you continued on, not letting him misinterpret. “I am preparing this food for you. Not anyone else, just you, I swear it.” Your voice broke slightly, but you tried to carry on in a calm and even tone of voice. “I just- I shouldn’t have lied to you in the morning about my stomach, I’m so sorry and I knew it was wrong even then, but I just wanted to surprise you.”

“I prepared this… date? For us. It’s our 100 day anniversary, and I wanted to… I don’t know, I spent the day preparing food for us so that we could sit down and have dinner together. I’ve got your favourite dress of mine hung up in our room and ready to put on. I even cleaned and decorated the apartment to make it more… romantic. But I ruined it. I lied. I’m sorry.” As soon as you had finished talking, you let yourself cry again. Silent tears ran down your cheeks in rivulets as you waited for Tae to leave and brood in his room for a while, like he always did when he was deciding on the best punishment. But that’s not what he did this time.

He stood there, completely still, but then he suddenly looked around him, noticing the decorations you had painstakingly placed around the space you had come to call yours, rather than just his. He then looked to the kitchen counter, where the evidence of your hours of hard work lay.

“But… It’s not our 100 day anniversary. It’s not even close. That was like 5 months ago, we celebrated it together.” His voice came out as quiet and scratchy, a huge contrast to the enraged yell he used to eviscerate your heart only moments earlier.

“No, I-I know. I remember how sweet you were that day, and I ruined it by being rude and ungrateful. I wanted to fix that, to do something nice for you, instead of just letting you do all the nice things like always. This is the 100 day anniversary of our first kiss, the day I told you I loved you for the first time. I thought it would be nice to celebrate it… together.” You finished lamely, feeling more and more embarrassed with every word.

“You… you remembered the 100 day anniversary of our first kiss?”

“Of course I did.”

You were certain that he would now — upon realising how pathetically, uselessly attached to him you were — dump you and your shit on the curb and call someone to pick you up and take you far away. But, for the second time in roughly two minutes, he didn’t do what you expected.

Instead of withdrawing, he got even closer. His arms came up to wrap around you as his head dipped down so that he could press his forehead against yours.

“No, baby… I’m sorry.” You stilled in unadulterated shock. He was sorry? For what? “You certainly shouldn’t have lied to me, but I understand why you thought that was best. And I’m happy you wanted to celebrate this anniversary with me — that is, if you still want-”

“Of course I do!” You bit your lip, you shouldn’t interrupt him, but you couldn’t bear to just let him believe you were anything other than desperate to spend time with him.

“You still want to?” He asked, incredulous.

“Of course I do!” You repeated, hoping this time he would actually listen to you. “I just don’t get why you would want to be with me, right now. You were… so angry at me, Tae.” He sighed, curling his arm around your waist and pulling you flush to his chest. That was something he always did when he felt extra possessive over you. He did it a lot.

“I know I got mad, baby, I just- the thought of you with another man makes me see red-”

“I’d never cheat on you, Tae. Never. I’d rather die.” You interjected without control, and he shushed you softly.

“I know you wouldn’t, baby. And I shouldn’t have thought that you would, especially considering how angry I was this morning when you joked about me doing the same thing.” His fingers came up to comb through your hair and you dropped your head back, finally relaxing again. He laughed softly.

“I’m sorry I ruined your surprise for me.”

“No, it’s alright.” You replied, voice softer and slurred slightly as his fingers massaged your temples, “You can keep me company while I slice the japchae.”

You made him stand far away from where you were preparing the meal, a cute pout on his face that made you relent several times and walk over to kiss him. If you let him close to the food he would just take the knife from you — aish, this is too dangerous for a precious princess like you to touch — and do all the work. You were determined that, even though he didn’t get the surprise dinner, he would at least get a nice meal where he didn’t have to lift a finger to do any work.

This plan was foiled slightly when he distracted you were you were slicing the potato into thin strips. His newest scheme to get you to let him do what he wanted was to just constantly look at you with bedroom eyes. It was, understandably, very distracting, so you were not too angry at yourself when your wrist loosened slightly and, instead of drawing the knife over the noodle, you ran it against your skin. You stopped as soon as you felt the lancing pain and looked down with a quiet whimper, watching as your blood spilled over all of the perfectly sliced soon-to-be japchae.

“That took me so long~” you whined softly,

“Babe?” Taehyung’s panicked voice broke through your mourning of the wasted dinner and you glanced up in time to see him practically vault over thin air in order to get to you faster. “You’re hurt! I told you that you shouldn’t hold the knife!” He yelled, even as he took your index finger into his grip so tenderly that it barely hurt. It was a narrow, clean cut — the knife was very sharp, after all — but it was deep, and you weren’t sure how long it would take for the wound to stop bleeding. He held it tightly to staunch the cut as well as he could, gently leading you into the bathroom where the first aid kit was.

He hushed you when you fussed about getting blood on his fancy suit, and responded each time you apologised for ruining dinner with a plea to stop being ridiculous and a kiss. He even kissed your banged finger to make it ‘heal faster’. You promptly said that kissing you on the lips would heal your finger twice as fast, and his laugh, loud and deep and clear, was the best thing you had heard all evening.

Tae decided to order takeout since the japcahe was off the table, pizza please, you requested and his expression mirrored your cheesy smile, both of you remembering that first 100 day anniversary where you had refused to even look at him while you ate the pizza as fast as you could to avoid talking to him. Oh, how things have changed. When the pizza arrived, both of you moved to sit together on the couch, curled up as close as could be and surrounded by the candles Tae had lit for you.

He happened to straighten up slightly and look around, his eye caught by a letter left on the table you had set for the original meal.

“What’s that over there?” He questioned.

“That’s a table, Tae.”

“Aish,” he jogged your body slightly, even as you both laughed, and then asked again with a cute pout that you were helpless to resist.

“It’s just a little note I wrote for you, I don’t know.” Instead of letting his curiosity be satisfied by that as you had hoped, his eyes lit up with interest and he immediately rose from the couch.

“Are you… you’re going to read it now?” Your cheeks heated up as you remembered what you had wrote, and the many, many hearts you had scribbled down next to his name.

“Of course I am. Did you write it expecting I’d never read it?” His tone was teasing, and only made you more flustered.

“No I just… didn’t think you’d read it… literally right in front of me.” You heard his laugh from across the room, though you didn’t look up to see it since your eyes were firmly planted on the ground, as was your stomach — it had lurched uncomfortably downwards as soon as it became clear he wasn’t going to read it somewhere when he was far away from you.

“I’m not literally right in front of you,” he called from the other side of the apartment, and then you heard his footsteps making their way back to you until his house slippers were directly in your downcast line of vision.

He reached down and tilted your chin up with one hand, in the other hand of course, he was holding the note.

“Now I am, though.” His smile was triumphant, and it didn’t dim even as he pulled back to stand up straight and read the short note. If anything, the smile grew bigger and brighter until it outshone all the strategic, ambience-creating candles in the room.

“Baby…” he started, his voice sultry and low, causing you to shiver involuntarily. He noted this with a smug eyebrow quirk. “I quite look forward to giving you those ‘hundreds of kisses’,” the smirk in his voice became evident as he quoted your note, and you wondered if you could burrow into the sofa and make your new home there, “But I’m afraid this letter is actually incorrect.”

“W-what?” You were so distracted by his offer of a hundred kisses that you didn’t truly register what he said, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, the part where you called yourself my girlfriend.”

“Huh?”

“It’s wrong — or at least it will be after tonight.”

“What- Tae, why-” you floundered, feeling slightly hurt but mostly confused, “-why is it wrong? Why… should I not call myself your girlfriend?”

Taehyung answered promptly, “Because you’ll be my wife.” And then he dropped to one knee.

#yandere bts #yandere bangtan #yandere taehyung #yandere taehyung x reader #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts imagines #bts v #bts taehyung #bts tae tae #bts tae x reader

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cafeinthemoon · 4 years

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Blue Velvet - Chapter III

Title: Blue Velvet

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: General Hux x oc

Rating: teen | up

Word count: 2619

Chapter (s): 3/10

Warnings: implied sexual content, making out, non explicit sex, some sort of emotional manipulation ???

Additional tags: original planet, original food, original alien characters

Symbols: ✔ | ➕ | ▶ ▶

Read the previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Chapter III - Purple Passion

Street art has a magic scent of its own, and I was so curious to see how Armitage would react to such thing that I let my mind wander a bit in this chapter. But I'm not regretting a single word of it.

" I thought love was on the stage"

(Florence and the Machine, Hunger)

There was a place in the city that became my favorite since my first the day here.

It was what one could call a great market: an extensive, roofless territory that turned into a commercial district, where we could find everything we wanted, in all colors, sizes and levels of quality. Crowds of people would fill it, but its streets were large enough to house all the tourists, natives and merchants who depended on it. It used to open every day and for entire cycles, so you didn't need to adapt your agenda to be able to visit it.

I used to go there in the middle of the week, at the evening, when I knew I would be free from any commitments. Sometimes I would go with some friends, but most of the times I would just walk alone in the streets; I would visit shops, observe the colorful tents and buy the items I believed to be worthy (and which would not drain my financial resources). I also used to talk to some of the oldest merchants, especially the non-humans; I would listen to their stories of old, when the market was infinitely smaller and didn't attract much people, and in return I would sing some of their favorite songs. I even learned some songs in alien languages, but I can't remember their complete lyrics now.

I believe that my greatest reason to love the market was the fact that I could walk through its streets without feeling exposed or watched. On the stage I was always observed, of course, but I had the control over what was seen; in my life outside of it, this kind of control didn't exist.

It was one of those evenings, maybe two days after my performance at that club, followed by the strange conversation with the man that introduced himself as General Hux. It was understandable that, after that encounter, I started to pay more attention to the holonews, and because of that I found out the First Order would stay in Odbeei for one more week. Which meant that he must still be around.

Maybe he was closer than I could imagine.

I was standing before a tent of a florist and found a bouquet of purple passions. It was a beautiful one, with four or five buds that were about to blossom, wrapped together by a brown, rustic stripe. I've always found them a magnificent species, but long time ago I convinced myself that, by their usual price, they would remain out of my reach forever.

I forgot to mention that, despite some products were sold at an impressive cost, some of the sellers were not as bitter as the prices. So, the woman of that tent, noticing my interest in that bouquet, insisted with me to take it. First, I shyly refused, but soon I was explaining to her that I would have to sing for a century to pay for those flowers and I would probably lose my voice before reaching my goal.

The florist laughed and was about to say something, but she fell silent when a second client approached.

- Would you mind telling me how much these flowers cost, ma'am? I'm interested on them.

I turned my neck to his side as soon as I recognized his voice.

He was pointing at the purple passions that were close to my hands; I cringed instinctively. The woman repeated the price, and he paid for the flowers without hesitating or trying to negotiate the cost. He thanked the seller but didn't wait for her to separate the bouquet and give it to him: he took the flowers by himself, observing them, oblivious to both of us and everything around.

- It would be a shame if we come to see the day when your voice will not be heard anymore – he said as he touched the petals; he looked at me and, with a curious smile, offered me the bouquet – Now you own the flowers, and your voice will remain untouched.

I took the bouquet so carefully as if the flowers were burning, but finally they were wrapped around my hands, as I was trying to accept the fact that now they belonged to me. When I looked up, I noticed he was staring at me, waiting for an answer. I must have taken so long to process what just happened that I didn't realize I should say "Thank you" before anything else.

Instead, I asked him to accompany me in my wandering through the market.

- Naturally, if you have some time for such thing, Sir.

Soon he said he did.

We left the flower tent and followed among the next ones, I myself concentrated on the bouquet, the General occupied in processing everything he was seeing. But his eyes wouldn't settle on anything for a long time; he didn't seem the kind of person who takes time with what can't bring him no benefits, no matter how much pleasing or attractive it looks. Thinking of this brought back that suffocating sensation in my throat. Why was he seeking for opportunities to be with me?

- During these few days since we arrived at Odbeei, our deals didn't start but after several hours after noon – he started – I must say that it seemed unusual to me.

- Unusual?

- Correct me if I am wrong, but you don't seem to care much about using the first hours of the day to solve priorities.

These words confirmed what I thought about him as someone attached to order and pro activity. It was still too soon to say if I'd appreciate it or not, but a spark of patriotic pride – or personal pride in disguise – made me reply to his statement with less docility that I intended.

- General, I'm not familiar with your routine as a military man, and I also don't know much about the management of cycles in other planets, but here in Odbeei we do things the way that seems to work for us. And we've been doing this for too long to consider drastic changes right now. It's understandable that some cultural traits of a planet look strange for a foreigner, but I'm personally satisfied with this philosophy. I believe it is wiser to focus on taking care of things with the attention they deserve than on being too rigid with the time of the day when we do it.

Different from what I expected, he didn't look irritated or offended by what he heard. Could he be someone who would rather concentrate on the things themselves instead of the manners of who said them?

I had no the time to find out, for I needed to focus on what he would say in answer.

- Fair enough. I apologize if the way I put the question was offensive for you. But I'd like you to understand that things like free time and flexibility are not a common trait of my days.

Of course. I've been living for so long a life separated from the other people's, so distant from anything that remind me of routines that I didn't came to see that what we were doing now – walking around a crowded place and speaking amenities – was anything but uncommon for someone in his position. I immediately felt the need to apologize.

I stopped and turned to him.

- I'm so sorry. I don't want your few hours of freedom to turn into a burden.

He smiled.

- There is no reason to worry about. Especially when these few hours of freedom can be spent in such a delightful company – and before I could think of something to say, he opened his arm in a gesture that indicated all the available ways ahead – I would be glad if you'd choose where we should go now.

I looked around, and even when I knew the places to where each of them would lead us, I hesitated for a moment, then turned to him and smiled.

- Do you trust my judgment, General?

He nodded but didn't turn his eyes from my face.

- This is why I am still here.

***

We were passing through a large street, as crowded as the previous ones, but with no tents on its sidewalks. In their place there were artists of all kinds: painters, actors, dancers, musicians playing native instruments, foreigners and aliens singing or reciting poems in their mother tongues; there were also philosophers preaching about the ways of the Force to disciples sitting around them, as well as those ones we used to call nature-masters, teaching secret recipes of an infinity of herbs and roots used with medical purposes for free.

I was more than ued to that miscellany of colors and sounds, and I've come to love it as a smaller version of the Galaxy inside the original one; so, I walked among the people and the attractions as if I was in my living room. I couldn't say the same about the General: though he stood up with his manners and tried to remain calm, he didn't succeed in hiding that all those sources of sensory stimulation were not his first idea of having fun. He was looking around as someone who wanted to understand what he sees, but without the need to think of it as something of good taste or pleasing; he was, however, too polite to make rude observations, especially after what we talked about the cycles in Odbeei.

By those reasons, it was a great relief for both of us when just ahead in our path, we found something that mutually interested us.

It was one of those small, open stages for amateur singers and musicians that could be found in many corners of the market. Those lowered wood platforms, too close to the sidewalk's ground, were among the most appreciated things by both natives and tourists in the city: they weren't just a good instrument to relaxation, but also the very beginning of the career of many of our stage professionals; I myself started in one of them.

There was a man singing a modern version of a song that was popular two decades ago in our planet, playing a hand harp with many strings. I knew most of the lyrics, but I didn't want to take the risk of surpassing the singer with my voice, so I sang along with whispers. I didn't look on his direction, but I knew the General was paying attention; I couldn't tell if the show matched his taste, so I preferred to count on the possibility of him finally finding something that caught his genuine interest.

- It was on one of these stages that I first performed when I came to this city – I told him after the musician finished the song and was about to leave the platform – I miss them.

He turned to me.

- Here is your chance to revisit them.

I was caught by surprise with his quick reaction to what I said. I considered to say that we should move ahead, but the way he smiled when he offered to hold the bouquet convinced me to stay, and I let him softly take the flowers from my hands.

I walked to the edge of the platform and talked to the responsible for it, a Bothan dressed in a red tunic who consented with just a few words and pointed at a pile of instruments at a corner. I thanked him but explained that I'd rather sing with free hands. He nodded and gestured to the stairs beside the stage, through which I was supposed to make my entrance.

There was a microphone on a stand at the center; I took it and left the stand aside. I said good evening to the people around, introduced myself and announced the song.

I used to love the street stages for many reasons, one of them being the chance of staying so close to the people that I was able to see the bright in their eyes and their mouths curling in genuine smiles, as well as hearing some of them mumbling along and clapping their hands. It wasn't different that time, even when some of the youngest were not familiar to the chosen song: most of them was paying attention to what they were seeing and hearing, and I felt like the first times I stood on similar stages in other parts of the city, and I raised my voice without caring about anything but what I was doing.

However, it wasn't the attentions of the tourists that interested me most at that time.

He was a little apart from the others, in a spot where he had a clear view of the stage. As he did in the club, he observed each of my movements, and sipped the sang notes as if they were his favorite drink. In his eyes I noticed a glimmer that I wasn't able to see at the club because of the distance between the stage and the rows. It was not just the bright of pure artistic contemplation: with that there was something else, something that even now I find difficult to explain; it was like he was taken by some addiction, craving for more. I was sure that if I stayed and sing for an entire cycle, he would still be there to listen.

The strangest thing in all of this was finding myself willing to see it.

With the progress of the music, I would dedicate more and more efforts to keep his eyes glued on me, his concentration on my notes. I risked a smile when with his gaze, he made it clear that he was aware of what I was trying to do. Somewhere in my mind, a little voice was pointing out how unusual it seemed that I was having so much fun for catching the attentions of that man, for I haven't talk to him more than two times and didn't knew much about him apart of his name and his function.

Being at that open space surely was helping me; being there was not like being in the club. In that place, the lights and the looks of people who watching me would pierce my skin; their whispering and their judgment would dissect me, examining me as a wild species. In the street, it was I that would lead them; the pieces were all mine, and no one would make any move without my consent. There, I could fix my eyes on anything and anyone I choose and reach them with just the strength of my voice.

In the club, it was like having those eyes on me could kill me. In the street, I seemed to need them to survive.

Finally, the song ended.

I put the microphone back on the stand, left the stage through the same stairs, exchanged a few polite words with the Bothan and walked away, seeking the General's company. He gave my flowers back; as I settled them in my hands, I felt suddenly shy. Now that I was no longer away from him, protected by a wooden level that would keep me right above the ground, it was impossible not to hear the same little voice screaming inside my head: what the hell I was thinking?

All I knew is that the closer I came to him, the less I cared about thinking. I also knew that if I spent more time by his side, things would not follow a different direction.

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #armitage hux #general hux #general hux fanfic #general hux x oc #armitage hux x oc

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mykpopconfession · 4 years

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It's long but hey, thank you so much for allowing me to share my thoughts as kpop is something I do enjoy but I like to look at it from other points of view, how it looks to me from various perspectives, not just as face value kpop fans have tantrums every time something isn't right or whenever idol does something so small and irrelevant it becomes a scandal… shocking but idols are humans and won't always perform to the fans standard.

Fans bitch and whine about how the standard of kpop industry is too harsh yet it's not the industry that is encouraging it, it's the fans themselves, they cant accept minor mistakes and everything gets taken out of context while fans claim they know the idols… ie: Jennie's “lazy” scandal.

Yet they don’t scrutinize the idols whenever they are sexist, colorist, ageist, misogynist, racist, because they can “do no wrong” or their fans, will come to save their asses… even the flipping companies encourage it because they want them to be younger. After all, it's more appealing??? but what 25+-year-old fans are going to be drawn to teens in a group? I don't even find itzy, txt appealing and their whole group’s image is directly for those of teenagers and below, the music/dances, the image, it’s all catered that specifically of a younger audience, shame, I would’ve liked them otherwise.

The younger the idols = the better publicity and the higher chances of gaining popularity by getting into “scandals” for the lack of maturity and social awareness nor are they likely to take accountability and just do whatever they please anyway because they’re idols and their fans will still claim that their age isn’t a problem or because they’re a child/teenager/minor then its okay kpop idols are so out of touch with reality that when they have some form of criticism they start banning and suing left right & center… because they live as though everyone is going to fall head over heels for them and blindly accept everything they do because most kpop fans are already blinded by their idols and cant accept when an idol says or does something disgustingly wrong nor can they accept mild criticism without getting their pitchforks out.. its a cult, no denying it.

As lovely as the choreography might be I don't want to watch the idols if they are doing any of the above: dancing overly provocatively (especially when they may be on the minor age scale), twerking or grinding the stage or anything overly sexual at that.

Kpop fans lap it up because its socially acceptable to objectify the idols and make them appealing because of their “dancing/performance” when it is turning them into some trend because they “danced” overly sexy/cute, that's all they amount to is the dancing side of it

TBH I found it intriguing at first but now every kpop group tries to have this “sexy” look and it just doesn't work. it’s like asking a foreigner to be interested in kpop when they act cute except its not normal to appear cute over here, it's only going to appeal to those who maybe find it intriguing or different from their own culture.

Yet cute/sexy is all kpop idols can amount to even if it looks so uncomfortable and unpleasing to watch. alas they are idols, they’re not humans, they can twerk, dance provocatively and act cute all because the fans will enjoy it no matter what it is or who it is… age isn’t even considered but the younger the better they stand a greater chance.

Which is like bighit canceling everyone of the older generations who maybe possess the same talent but with a maturer image and behavior… its both ageist and sexist, why is it some huge fetish that just boys in or around 1999 only for their new survival show thing i-land? I find it… odd more than exciting or interesting cause I know its just typical for the members to be more younger but less appealing to older generation cause I have nothing that I’d relate too I don't even relate to the TikTok trend because that's all it is, another trend or bandwagon. yet everyone treats it as being this incredible new thing that suddenly acceptable for young folk even though it brings so much disgusting behavior/drama along with it, its a recycled version of the vine but worse, in the same sense this is what kpop does, recycle groups once they’re less appealing to make way for the same groups but look slightly different. 2ne1/blackpink, BTS/txt yet the fans don't say nothing about how it is encouraging the sexual appeal and almost asking for fans to thirst over them because this is what “dance” supposedly should be. sexy/cute nothing in between, it's saying that idols should portray this image cause it’s more appealing than the music itself. if the male idols show their abs/skin even better, females? wear the most uncomfortable looking clothing and ur good to go.

The kpop sounds now have become about the group's image, level of popularity, as opposed to actual talent, creative freedom and ability to give off a genuine performance that doesn’t include anything generic or robotic image. its got to be loud, bright, vivid because its all for the dance/sexual appeal of both the male and female gender is almost aligned with the concept for it.

The lyrics can be as disgusting as they please because its okay, its only kpop. any lyrics are acceptable, bts got called out for their lyrics in one song yet not in any of the others? same for other groups, so few call out the lyrics because lyrics mean nothing. it's about the visual appeal of the groups and the kind of fame they gather from it alone so you can have the visuals but do the bare minimum and not have much stage presence but be classed as a main singer or dancer, its okay fans will lap it up no matter what it is. also, I’ve noticed the same sound being used across several groups depending on the concept of the song… repetitive much? why does kpop fear change or standing out? why get idols to become something they are not ie: whitening their naturally beautiful dark skin, have idols who don’t need to, lose weight. it's not the company its the idols encouraging it because it's acceptable and normalized to be anything other than thick, natural and healthy.

Ppl act like trying to shove kpop into the western music genre will make it appeal any better, the fans act like they couldn’t see the racism coming, but that's what happened bts were forced into a culture that had nothing to do with them because in western we generally hop from one bandwagon to the next and just roll with it since it's popular it must be good.

ie: one direction, psy, 5 seconds of summer and now bts… how do so many don't see the pattern nor did they see bts coming? you expect Asian artists to become greatly admired over here too but when you shove it in ppl’s faces and try to get it to become the next big thing, not everyone is gonna see the appeal I honestly feel like it's been forced… not by the companies but by the international fans. now instead of trying to gain popularity in their home country kpop groups try too hard to appeal to the western market… you can’t even deny how vastly generic bts’ music has become SINCE they hit the American music awards or whatever it was. note: they didn’t even win awards for their music, but simply their popularity is what got them there

I loved boyz with fun, despised boy with Luv yet because they’ve been in the American industry’s eyes they put it out what has become popular just using their language… well sometimes, even idol, what could’ve been a great song with a nice meaning missed some marks, as in the overuse of auto-tune has become almost normal for them? vs using natural vocal abilities, I'm no coach but straining one's voice to hit a high note in a slow song doesn’t sound healthy. when all bts have done in the past is upbeat music is why they struggle to maintain high notes in slow songs because they’ve followed the same music style for so long then suddenly changed it so their voices don't match softer songs… which I’d appreciate more of instead of just dark lyrics and over-hyped upbeat poppy music.

ie: I loved the sound for serendipity, but the lyrics weren’t as good and Jimin kinda struggled to sing it well enough both in-studio and live, however its one of my more favorite songs. I’d also appreciate a slower gentle song that isn’t about a relationship too thanks looking @ you euphoria.

You think it's about the music, lyrical side of it but I disagree, it's merely the concept of yet another boy group that's sadly taken over in the most overbearingly forced way possible and you all act like the racism wasn’t going to occur. nct had an incredibly shit time in America during their tour its because it's not meant for America, its trying force kpop to become something it's not just to fit in with western music taste. I miss when they did full songs in Korean now they do English full versions with hella cringe-worthy lyrics and expect them to blow up or become the next big thing.

I’ve been walking with the cheese and the queso????? if ur happy and u know it clap ur hands???? theses ones make me laugh more than wanting to listen repeatedly, they throw them in there simply to appeal to western music, no matter if its a bad lyric, doesn't make sense or is cringe-worthy.

Kpop is built for Korean consumption it's great to see it's expanded however, its in the wrong directions for the wrong appeal. bts did not pave the way when psy also existed the same year they debuted. bts tried to get a following in America but failed because naturally psy was almost made fun of for just being an Asian doing what he does best yet the hype quickly dyed down & everyone moved on until bts came into the scene… so far behind than when they should’ve gone viral years before. not the companies fault but merely the appeal of the image/music wasn’t suited to the western music genre so when they become familiar more with America they switched the songs to sound pop-like… nothing wrong but less appealing than their original image/music, which I prefer, I’d say it started to change with not today era.

The only reason being bts have stuck around now is because of the boy group concept even if the lyrics aren’t that great when translated into English, they’ve already tried and IMO, failed to push their music into the western music industry and they’ve won awards solely based on the fandom/popularity alone kpop has become less and less about the music, energy of the performances, now it's about if they look right together as a group. how the group as a whole appeal to the fans and what makes the fans blinded by them… which is essentially their sex appeal, whether the idols are grown women or men or even teenagers, who might be uncomfortable with fans lusting after them. whether they’re dancing sexy or acting somewhat cute doesn’t matter because it's become acceptable and a must if you want to be an idol so fans can thirst over them.

Sorry not sorry but kpop has become much less about the music itself and see what is trendy puts it to music and calls it the next big thing. which is a shame I love the language I love how it sounds in the songs & I also love that it encourages me to learn the language that's more appealing than the group image/songs itself but they’re letting looks matter to the point where groups are mistreated abroad by both media and fans alike all because of this group image concept. nct getting mixed up with bts was pure racist but how can they fail to tell how different they are? wait, no, any Asian boys in a group must be considered to be bts… see its just one hype train after the other, even Astro got mixed and when parasite become popular and rightly won the awards some were racist. Trump's comment was appalling but at least he got the country right, yes, everything that's become popularised in America is from South Korea, gold star for that.

Its the concept of boy groups. not the music itself. if it were music then day6 would have a similar appeal, gain the same momentum as bts/nct have done, yet because they differ from the typical dance style boy group they won't gain the same effect as their counterparts, bts / nct & whoever else.

Yet they’re still appealing to the wider international audience and did very well with their tours, same for the rose, they don’t trend in the same way boy groups do but have some form of appeal because it’s a different concept/image style altogether than the way bts / nct, etc are put together but still they don’t have the same effect as some of the more dance-based groups have because its a different genre but still from the same industry…

Different genre means less appealing or less popular but I’d say day6 are doing better, producing a greater amount of pleasing music, with reasonable lyrics but don't receive the same amount of popularity. compare to bts / nct who follow similar styles mixed up of what is trendy and call it a day. whereas kpop dance groups throw anything out there and its okay cause fans will lap it up too.

It's not the song that got blackpink to Coachella, its purely the appeal of yet another young women based group, again solely so they can push the feminism, girl power movement through their “songs” but it's their image of youthful cutely acting girls that gains the attention of western men/women… little mix tried it so why not blackpink, heck even fifth harmony failed to maintain the popularity because the appeal wasn’t there in the songs, but they were females in a group, therefore, they must have some form of appeal to the public / recent trends, bandwagons

#kpop #kpop confession #kpop confessions #general

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solange-lol · 6 years

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Levels to Your Love

pt2 of this bc people wanted me to continue

Word Count: 949

Read on AO3

It was a perfect morning. The weather was warm for once, the sun was bright, Nico almost consider getting up earlier than usual.

And then, Piper freaking Mclean ruined all of that.

“Morning, death breath, remember our plan for the day?” she grinned down at the lump residing on one of the beds in the Hades cabin.

Internally, Nico groaned. Cursed his sleep deprived self having more confidence than his awake self ever could. He had promised last night to Piper that he would say something to Will the next day.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” the son of Hades mumbled, rolling over to face the wall instead.

“Better get up soon. You have until the end of breakfast.”

***

“I don’t understand why I have to do this now,” Nico grumbled as he and Piper walked side by side to the pavilion.

“Because I can’t stand watching you two constaeyefucking all day long.”

Nico gaped at her. “We do not.”

“Uh, yeah you do. It’s almost worse than Percy and Annabeth. In fact, the two of you are both like Percy with how oblivious you are to each other,” Piper sighed.

“You weren’t even there for that. And besides, you had it easy. You just got to trick Jason into thinking you two were dating after his memory got wiped.”

Now it was Piper’s turn to gape. “You have got to be joking me. What part about that sounds easy? Especially since I was tricked into thinking we were dating too, even when Jason didn’t exist in my life yet.”

By this point, they had reached the pavilion. Nico slid into the Hades table, Piper right next to him despite not being invited to. Nico couldn’t see Will yet, but he still felt the jitters of what was to come.

“I’m just saying, this won’t go down well,” he grumbled.

“What won’t go down well?” Will chose that exact moment to sit down across from Nico, sliding one of two plates of breakfast across the table where Nico sat.

“The Titanic,” Nico said quickly before Piper had the chance to say anything. He glanced across the table to Will, careful of Piper’s gaze on him.

He didn’t really like Will that much, did he? Not enough that it was a big deal to tell him that he’d maybe have a crush on him. What part of Will was crush worthy anyway? His eyes, maybe, the way that white surrounded the pupil before evolving into blue, giving them the impression of an eclipse. Or his hair, which curled around his ears and Nico always had the urge to play with. His laugh, which was almost like a child’s but could make anyone want to laugh along. His personality too, so kind and sweet to everyone and yet always making someone feel so individually wanted.

Okay, nevermind. Nico had a pretty huge crush on him. Under the table Piper nudged his foot, and Nico was snapped back into the reality where Will still didn’t know that he liked him.

Nico glanced at Piper before saying, “okay, I guess I’m ready,” causing her to nearly squeal.

Will, oblivious as ever, looked between the two. “Ready for what?” he asked. For once, Nico couldn’t read his face, so he just decided to start talking.

“Will, uh, I’ve had a crush on you for… oh gods knows how long,” Nico said shakily. “Once I met you, so like a year maybe? Obviously if you don’t like me back then I can get over it, but um if you do like me-” Nico stammered on before stopping at the sight of the son of Apollo’s face.

In classic Will style, he grinned that grin that always manages to make Nico’s heart skip a beat. “Okay,” Will said with tired happiness as if the fact was obvious (which it was, according to Piper and Jason and probably the rest of camp.) “Thanks for telling me.”

And then Jason found his way to the Hades table, complaining about how there weren’t any muffins left for him. He stopped before sitting down, looking from Will’s beaming face to Nico’s pissed you-just-interrupted-something one, then to Piper’s scrunched-up smile.

“What did I miss?” he asked, sliding onto the bench next to Will.

“Nico confessing his gayness for me,” Will was quick to intercept this time before Nico could give an excuse.

“Ah, so nothing new,” Jason smirked, causing Nico to blush even harder.

***

After breakfast, Will grabbed Nico’s hand and pulled him aside before the two of them could head off to their activities for the day.

“Would you like to get lunch sometime outside of camp before summer starts and we never get a chance to talk to each other?” Will asked him, and Nico nearly kissed him right then and there.

But because their life isn’t a high school movie and Nico has way too much anxiety to kiss Will surrounded by so many people, he just graciously accepted.

“Great. We can find a time then. In the meantime, you should stop by the infirmary at some point time today,” Will smiled down at Nico, making his heart flutter for the thousandth time that day. “Or just save me a seat at dinner.”

Nico just nodded before he said anything stupid.

“Cool. See you later then,” Will quickly kissed him on the cheek and Nico gasped so loudly he had to cough a couple times to get his breath back. Will only chuckled, wacking him on the back once.

“Sorry. Bye Will,” he breathed.

Will laughed again. “Bye Nico.”

Nico couldn’t take his hand from the spot Will had kissed for the rest of the day.

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leoraannexx · 5 years

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after an unli meal and some coffee

hi. arrived home 4 hours ago and i just feel like writing again.

currently enjoying this process of letting everyone have their cup of coffees and setting up the stage for them. it was an incredible feeling of freedom. having acceptance of other people’s insights and opinions, then formulating a response that will either complement the conversation or otherwise. it may seem like a small deal to others but as for me, i feel like i’ve grown so much by letting go of what i think things should be and by letting myself experience these transitions -- the talking, tolerating sudden changes in responses and adding more patience to life’s circumstances. this growth has made my heart reflect big on things that truly matter. it has become much easier to handle than anything else.

also have reflected on my own strengths. i admit, things have gone so wrong in my younger days when i became reckless of handling my emotions -- letting myself give in in the emotional volatility, letting my impulsive decisions ruin things and letting myself take control of everybody not knowing that i totally lost all control to my own self. it really sucks, it hurts a lot. if only i could rewind the time to make things right, if only i can talk to that adolescent me and tell her to take this life by courses -- some with a lot of prerequisites, and some with levels to be skipped ahead. but of course, at the same time, these things also made me who i am today, more determined to be a better person each day because of my gratefulness to God and to my loved ones.

i believe that you can only find your strength in your times of weakness. you can only learn to value your worth and to have faith in your capabilities when everything seems to be falling apart --and still have found yourself fighting. what a life-changing experience it is, those bounce back moments, they are epic and worthy.

not all of us are the same. as for me, i’ve found this new me with a lot of faith, hope, love and courage. lately, i’ve been truly admiring this minimalist heart. i found myself grateful for having this mind full of patience and empathy. thinking, why did i not discover this way back before? i just don’t know how to turn on the new me button and kept on closing it when transitions appear. i’ve never felt this good in my entire life. God has lead to me to this discovery. i will make use of it for His purpose for me.. in the best of my abilities.

so stoked to talk about living, dancing to life’s unpredictable steps, appreciating our existence together with His creations. let’s talk about how we have discovered ourselves in the midst of troubles. let’s talk about how we deal with the challenges. let’s talk about the uplifting experience of recovering from pain and sorrow. let’s set aside the rumours and criticisms around, instead, let’s talk about love in all forms because these things is what life is about. it’s talking about the journey of our purpose and to share it with others. it’s about letting others see the Lord and witness the blessings and miracles that they have not yet discovered in their trials. it’s all about believing in the light and in the shine that it brings, making life worth living. x

i never thought that i’d be so in love with life. in the previous years, i just want to shut down and take my own life -- challenges had lead me to destroy myself and isolate myself. some people left me but some stayed. my heart is yours, all of you who never left me until today. i don’t want to lose you all. i pray for your good health and long life always. at last, the rainbow has appeared, i just have to glow in gold some more to maintain its beauty. it’s all about happiness and joy in your journey as you grow... and most of all, having inner peace in yourself. x (amen).

always in the learning process of this journey. so far i am loving it and i am truly happy. i couldn’t thank u enough Lord for letting me experience life. all the struggles become much easier with you. thank you for having my back since day 1. never let a day skip without this kind of gratitude and contentment -- i am at peace, the energy just radiates beautifully and i feel so much blessed.

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