#thats why terfs arent feminists | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

menalez · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/trans-mink/716917262323466240/thebigblackwolfe-clayandsorcery?source=share

Been stumbling across lots of posts about people using the word terf as a term for anyone they think is especially bad, someone they don't like, or just a general caricature of someone they would want to hate, and this post takes the mf cake for me. All the shit they're saying is probably made up because there's only TRAs in the comments talking about "terfs"

“with intersex characteristics” um caster semenya is very much blatantly intersex, not just “with intersex characteristics”… she has XY chromosomes and internal testes and a specific intersex condition.

also i’ve never seen anyone arguing she’s an “ugly man who probably has a little penis”, anyone who said that is purely ignorant bc the reason it took time to even know she’s intersex is bc she doesn’t have a penis. she has a typical female phenotype.

her being a lesbian and black and south african are all pretty irrelevant to the topic at hand, which is whether it is fair for her as an intersex person to compete against non-intersex women. THAT is why she’s being expected to take meds that reduce her testosterone, bc she has elevated testosterone levels (which these racists think is just a Black Woman Thing for some reason) and XY chromosomes and an intersex condition that allows her to utilise at least some of the higher level of testosterone in her body. we can argue that the assumption that she has an advantage is incorrect or based off of bad research or sth else but it’s bizarre to act like it’s based on her being black or her sexual orientation. it’s also bizarre to compare her to trans women and act like she was next on the chopping block after trans women when they actually had stricter regulations for intersex women than they had for trans women up until quite recently.

i’ll agree that most ppl TRAs label “terfs” arent feminists whatsoever. and we all know they’ve been hurling that word disproportionately at lesbians also so.. idk why they do that and then say 'actually terfs are mostly hets who are conservatives and hate women and -' like.. if thats the case then maybe stop throwing it so frequently at feminists and lesbians

#anonymous

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rabm · 2 years

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terfs really are destroying feminism arent they. yes im a radical feminist thats why i believe men are inherently and universally stronger, faster, smarter, more skilled, and better at everything than women. i need to call on the help of ben shapiro because i lost a skateboarding competition

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wazzuppy · 6 months

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I saw your post about how people treat the phrase "white feminist" and yeah, I totally agree. There is this really weird trend to fully ignore misogyny even in leftist circles and belittle women who try to talk about how they're oppressed. Even if a woman is white she's still gonna be systemically oppressed because that's just how misogyny works. I find it pretty disgusting on this website where most discussions about misogyny are hijacked by people literally going "man hating is so bad and you shouldn't point this out". It's cool people defend trans people but 1. criticizing men as a social class isn't "bioessentialism" or whatever, it's genuinely just talking about the oppressor class and 2. why do you see trans women as men??????? like why is this argument always brought up anyway? i get TERFs would say it that way but when the target is so obviously not a TERF it's so odd. I've lost mutuals on here for just saying the words patriarchy and that MRAs are bad. It's baffling. I hate this progressive language coded misogyny in leftist spaces with all my heart. Women should be allowed to be afraid and angry when they're so obviously oppressed in every part of their lives. Sorry for the big rant

no need to apologize, i pretty much completely agree.

i think there is a very weird attitude around men's rights in general. like, it often feels as if they're trying the take the fact that they're men and have an inherent advantage to GAIN their rights out of the equation.

not to say i don't think men should have rights or that every single man is more privileged than the average cishet white woman. that's not true. but privilege exists even in marginalized groups because hierarchy still exists, and advantage and disadvantage often affect the same person. like, even a gay man has a leg up over a het woman because they are a man. and likewise, a het woman has an advantage over a gay man because theyre het. things arent as simple as "this group is always more oppressed than this one no matter what." its more fluid than that.

not to mention... a lot of the issues that do affect men (as in the hyper masculine, "feelings are gay" bullshit) are ones that were started and continue to be perpetuated by other men. like yeah, it fucking sucks and it should be fixed, but you get why the victims aren't the ones who should be doing the work, right? we can help and we can offer sympathy, but ultimately that's something THEY need to get over for any real progress to be made.

i also think there's something kind of gross about how a lot of feminist discussions are taken as "you just hate trans men!" automatically, without even knowing the genders of the people having the discussion. trans people should ABSOLUTELY be taken into account and defended, and its completely true that many, many feminists are transphobic. but the assumption that radical feminism (and i mean actual feminism, not "radfems" because thats just a different flavor of wanting patriarchy) = hating trans people feels very icky to me. you can be feminist without being transphobic, and you can be transphobic without being feminist.

leftist language, in general, needs some kind of adjustment or just for people to better understand what certain terms are actually supposed to mean. because lots of people just slap the word "terf" onto someone who is either not feminist or not transphobic.

for example: j.k rowling is undeniably transphobic. she regurgitates lots of terf rhetoric, but the problem with calling her a terf is that... she's not a feminist. like at all. she has an obvious hatred of women and has an extremely conservative mindset of what women should be. that's why all of the mothers in harry potters are good, and all of the unmarried/women without kids are bad. that's why hermione's personality is just a list of misogynist stereotypes.

this issue is especially gross when you remember how dogshit trans feminists are treated, masc or fem. trans people will talk about how men have personally hurt them and how that affected their views, and then a dozen cis queer people will come in like "noooo hating men is bad!!" and assume theyre cis.

i have more to say, but honestly, im tired and a lil sick so i'll leave it there for now. but theres a lot i think that needs to be discussed with how leftist language has evolved, and how feminism is sometimes treated like a scapegoat when it comes to who should be blamed for transphobia. i dont know of any of this made sense but yeah.

#tara says stuff #feminism

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tma-thoughts · 1 year

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I was having a fun time and then i got upset at some transphobic bullshit so now im going to rant into the ether

Cw for terfs and misogyny

TERFs are not feminists. TERFs are upholding thr patriarchy and dont even fucking realize it. Yknow why? Because their one argument as to why trans women arent the stunning women they are is that they dont have a fucking vagina. Do they even realize that they're equating womanhood to reproductive organs? Yknow, like feminists have been trying to undo for forever?

Equating trans women to predatory men doesn't only hurt trans women. It hurts cis women, too. The tall cis women. The cis women with short hair. The cis women with body hair. The cis women with sharp jaws and broad shoulders and thin hips. Those cis women are being attacked, both physically and verbally because they arent "feminine enough". Because people think they're trans.

Since all of the bathroom bills started to be passed in America ive seen dozens of videos from cis women detailing experiences of being harassed in bathrooms because people assumed they were trans. Ive seen dozens of stories about young girls in sports being harassed bc they looked "too masculine". Some of these stories include people calling for genital inspections to prove the women were cis women.

Do you people not realize how fucked up that is? How insanely violating and truamatizing that is? How much this shit perpetuates traditional ideas about femininity and discourages women from stepping out of the box society places them in??

Stopping transphobia helps everyone. Thats all i really mean to say here. Ive gotten my anger out.

#discourse #transphobia #real feminists punch terfs

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deanwinchesterf · 2 years

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Most terfs i see are vehemntly against consensual stuff such as BDSM and the likes of that. I see many even against porn and sex work in general. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable for calling you queer, i was going on lgbt+ history there.

As for oppression, yes sexism and opression exists, but blaming every man and putting down men isnt going to fix anything. To be equals you cant pull down people to your level, you have to work together to rise up simultaneously. Am i saying work with sexist people? Of course not, fuck those people. I'm saying you have to work with your allies, no matter who they may be. This idea of "all men are inherently evil" doesnt work towards any goal other then harming men. Most of the men that get harmed are men who are already oppressed anyways.

Can you give me an example of your idealogy ever actually helping someone that doesnt put down someone else?

may i ask you, what is the difference between a man beating a woman because he just loves beating women, and a man beating a woman because he loves beating women AND it gives him a boner? consent is irrelevant, in this context. i used to pratice bdsm before i became a feminist, so trust me when i say i know all of the arguments of consent, etc. turns out i just absolutely hated myself and figured that if i asked others to harm me, i didnt have to harm myself. i consented to all that was done to me, but it has still left me with a completely broken sexuality. note also how radfems arent against all kink - none of us could care less if you like sucking toes or pretending youre ballooning up to massive size. the violence, however, is harmful.

thats not even mentioning how violence in sex has become so commonplace that literal children on tiktok speak about wanting to get raped, choked and beaten. its not healthy.

as for porn, how can you tell that the video youre watching is consensual? how can you tell the actors are in the videos because they love it and want to be? why should we normalise that very, very young people can feed themselves a steady stream of extreme violence committed against women, all while masturbating - creating an orgasm, a perfect way to wire their brains into thinking violence = good.

i am a survivor of ”sex work”, actually. id like you to ponder about the fact that all ex ”sex workers” out there are extremely against ”sex work”. selling feet pics on onlyfans is not the same as the reality for most women who sell sexual services. most are trafficked, dependent on drugs, are raped regularily. ask yourself, should the extremely rare and few sex workers who love their professions and have the ability to choose their clients speak over us who have survived and speak about the horrors we faced?

i cant say i quite understand your argument re: men. the truth is, all men benefit from our oppression. i have yet to meet a man who actively fights for womens liberation. its not about being equal, its about being liberated, and we cannot be if we coddle men. id also like to ask you - do you think men speak like this to other men re: sexist views? have you seen the way men speak about women in their enclosed spaces? i do agree that not all men are evil, but the truth is enough of them are that youre not safe around any of them.

radical feminism, in my opinion, allows women to find sisterhood, something ripped away from us by patriarchy. we can speak about womens voting rights, our rights to have our own bank accounts, abortion rights, right to divorce etc, but i think you already know all of those which is why i speak about personal experience.

a woman who unlearns centering her life around men is a powerful woman. giving women their voices back, and their bodies, and the love of other women is to me worth unmentionably much more than mens hurt feelings. womens lands, womens movements and even just all female friend groups - i have a circle of radfem friends who are all absolutely incredible people - they all collectively put womens needs and wants back into focus. men have always centered other men, so why shouldnt women center other women? why are you not in the inbox of MGTOWs, MRAs and redpillers? what is it specifically about radical feminism that is so provoking?

#ask

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butch-bakugo · 3 years

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So, you dont know why trans people dont like terfs?

Heres a hint!

They call themselves feminists who want equal rights for everyone yet they saw the right wing extremists killing and tortureing transgender people and went " Sounds good to me! Keep it up! That'll show them!".

Thats why we hate them. They arent feminists, they are modern day hypocrites.

#levi speaks #punch your local terf #no terfs allowed #no terfs on my turf

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someswelldudes · 4 years

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cgl is not pedophilia and everyone knows it the main reason why people don’t want cgl in their feed is cuz underaged people shouldn’t be involved in the kink even though many underaged people are regressing and it’s harmless not all of cgl is there are pedos in the community who arent actually cgl in the same way that terfs and swerfs try to be in the feminism community but arent- but not exactly in the same way because being scum to others is different than ruining childrens lives adult + minor = pedophilia adult + adult =/= pedophilia the main reason why i personally (asides from being a minor aswell as someone who isn’t into cgl) wouldn’t want cgl on my blog or in my feed is cuz i have been in anime servers filled with minors who were littles and it was very toxic typically in most servers that had cgl minors in it were toxic to me because they were very entitled bust asides from some kids being mean they dont make the whole group and i will not hate someone solely because something they do i find to be weird i am not a furry but i do not hate them because they are weird just like cgl there are bad “furries” just like feminism there are bad “feminist” bad “pro blm” bad “weebs” bad “gamers” bad “goths” bad “friends” bad “people” but thats just me and you already knew most of this so...

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angryrivaini · 5 years

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I’m quite stupid but what exactly is a Tref?

You're not, anon. We all had to learn. What it is is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist, essentially a person who believes trans women aren't women because if they weren't "born a woman biologically" they arent women (the concept of biological determinism). Its used to justify excluding trans women from women-centric spaces.

I'm not a radfem/terf nor do I want terfs on my blog engaging with my posts, that's why thats on my header.

#hope this helped!#dont be afraid to ask questions though like i said everyone had to learn the same information you are now

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lunarssong · 6 years

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quick little summary/title: this started out as a rant but if you scroll down to the large bold, there’s a metaphor that should hopefully help explain why terfs are so god damn awful and dangerous

me? sending an ask off-anon to a terf because im both pissed and a fucking dumbass? its more likely than youd think

in fact! im not even gonna censor the word terf! if i dont feel like dealing with their bullshit replies and rbs then i literally just fucking wont!! yeah they might send in death threats but guess the fuck what?? im leaving my anon on fuckers, because honestly that shits gonna be funny to me! and if they try to doxx me (very unlikely, but i am trans and its not riskier to mention that because its already obvious, and ive never directly made a post about terfs before, so i really dont know whats gonna happen) or something then like! im a minor! we can sue those shitheads and hopefully bring more media awareness to how god damn shitty terfs are! literally dont even start, lmao.

have the damn ask because i wanna elaborate on it

“hi there! i wish you’d delete your tumblr, because you are dangerous. you are a violent misogynist, and make me ashamed to be a feminist.

you’re gonna attack me because i’m off anon, but you’d probably call me a coward if i was on it, lmao.

anyway! stop disguising your misogyny and transphobia with shitty ass ‘feminism’. i was raised by a feminist with a feminist mom who literally can’t believe y’all exist because your ideas are SO far from actual feminism.

just say you hate trans people and go.”

tbh? its so fucking wild to me how they literally spit out misogyny, transphobia, and lesbophobia but then get all pissy when someone calls them out on it,, but then have the nerve to accuse that person of being misogynistic and lesbophobic? like,, honey. honey, what? the fuck? how much of a dumbass are you?

because like. im a pretty big dumbass! like ive walked into a mirror before because i thought it was a door! im a dumbass!

but even i know that trans women literally cannot discriminate against cis women by saying that theyre (plural, but trans women can 100% use they and thats totally valid) women! because guess the FUCK what?? theyre fucking women! if yall shitheads (terfs) wanna call that misogyny then yall cant call yourselves women either!

if yall assholes wanna call a specific group of lesbians/wlw pointing out, “hey! we experience discrimination because of an entirely irrelevant physical feature we all happen to share that has literally no actual affect on whether or not we are women/wlw” lesbophobia or speaking over minorities then wow.

wow.

wow, are yall gonna be shocked when (if) you realize what the hell yall doing that qualifies as.

oppressors literally depicting and/or committing fucking hate crimes, sometimes even as serious as murder, rape, etc. (this is referring to terfs, i should never have to point that out) is NOT comparable to an oppressed as hell minority saying that people who literally want them dead should not be in safe spaces intended for people of a community they both happen to belong to.

to put this into perspective for yall out there literally worse than garbage (terfs)! imagine this scenario.

youre in a community of women. trans women may or may not be a part of this particular community, shut the fuck up, thats irrelevant. a group of straight women pop up, and start saying that being wlw is misogynistic and harmful to women. this is bullshit. you know that immediately. why wouldn’t it be? you explain to them the obvious reasons why it is not. they ignore you.

they begin to spew utter bullshit, claiming things like “women should never marry other women. you’re ignoring the fact that a man’s place is as a woman’s wife, and basically trying to be men, which is like admitting that men are superior.” or, “as straight women, you flaunting your homosexuality,” the woman gestures to a lesbian couple who aren’t even holding hands and haven’t been touching the whole time theyve been there. one has a small rainbow heart sticker on her purse. “makes me feel threatened in my femininity. (insert plural of 4 letter slur against lesbians that i dont feel comfortable typing a single letter of) arent really women, their existence is heterophobia and misogyny. they shouldn’t be allowed in female-only spaces because they normalize masculinity.”

over time, this group of straight women grows. they call themselves feminists, claim theyre fighting for the rights of all women! unless those women happen to love other women and dont perfectly fit their (cisnormative too but terfs are awful so they like that) heteronormative idea of a woman. they protest at the very idea of saying “significant others”, “partners”, or even “wives and/or husbands” because it doesnt fit their idea of being a woman. because they think having a wife and loving women is only for men.

eventually, they start getting braver and braver. they start going to feminist rallies, and if they spot gay women, or even women they think look gay, theyll get up in their faces, threaten them, call them slurs. theyll try to record them, try to get them fired from their jobs or outed to unsupportive families. or even just expose them to the potential of assault in their day-to-day life. because theyre gay. and that doesnt affect the straight women at all, but they hate diversity and are homophobes. so they need an excuse.

sometimes theyll get their other gay-exclusive feminist friends to record them committing violent acts against wlw feminists, just to take stills from those videos out of context when the gay women defend themselves, and then go crying to the media, twisting the roles of victim and aggressor to paint a violent picture of wlw. they say that feminist rallies should be an event only for real women or allies to their cause—meaning, to them, no wlw, and certainly no mlm. they probably even try to turn all homophobia towards gay men into a sexism issue (they are sometimes tied, but not mostly). but they lose their shit when anyone tries to tell them to get out of these safe spaces for women, because by attacking wlw for literally nothing beyond existing, they are ruining the safe part.

people start to become ashamed to call themselves feminists, and are often lumped in with these homophobes. even if they themselves are gay. straight feminists who love, support, and fight for wlw begin to feel guilty for being straight. new labels for feminist ideology begin popping up, the gay-exclusive feminists strike them down and turn them into jokes.

their end goal is to reverse victories like gay marriage, remove gay representation both in the media and in history books (sometimes even arguing that famous wlw were ‘just close friends’ with their wives or girlfriends), and to send wlw right back to hiding and marrying men for fear of their lives.

all in the name of thinly veiled homophobia feminism!

but wait, you cry, that sounds nothing like feminism! it actually sounds like misogyny and homophobia!

exactly!

think about who yall are the real-life equivalent of in that scenario.

need a hint because youre so brainwashed? try changing ‘gay/wlw’ to ‘trans’, ‘straight’ to ‘cis’, and ‘gay-exclusive’ to ‘terf’.

i doubt any of them will actually read through this, let alone realize their flawed perspective due to it, but hey. maybe ill sway some people who’re on the fence about how horrible terfs are.

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pongormazzz · 7 years

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u know wat? ive been thinking on this for a long time since i made my last post about this shit, and ive changed my mind- in my opinion as a trans man, getting mad about “all men” posts as a trans man is self-absorbed. instead of getting mad even though you’re a fucking man so you can perpetuate misogyny (still no male privilege obviously, only cis men have that)... just try not being the fucking man that the post is complaining about. get over it

as a trans man, you CAN perpetuate misogyny (and transmisogyny. trans men were the ones who popularized the asterisk to try to exclude trans women). Do Not Act Like You Magically Can’t Just Cuz You’re Trans.

and as a sidebar, claiming you can do things like call yourself a lesbian (what the fuck?) or that you experience misogyny (even closeted) is bullshit and leans on terf (that’s trans exclusionary radical feminist) rhetoric. and its misgendering yourself. which is what society wants us to do. dont do that. “i used to identify as a girl and experienced misogyny then” is one thing (and even then dont try to hijack posts women are writing about misogyny cos you dont know as much since you ARENT A WOMAN) but right now while youre a man youre not experiencing misogyny. thats transphobia with no respect towards yr identity, even if they dont know

and dont fucking call it transmisandry. misandry was created by idiot cis men trying to act like theyre oppressed, its not “reclaiming” to take it. just call it transphobia.

also, if youre not a trans man, don’t fucking call yourself a lesbian if you’re dating a trans man. you fucking aren’t. you are not a fucking lesbian if you DATE A MAN. you’re misgendering your partner too and you are scum for trying to take the lesbian label

why is this stuff even slightly divisive. im just sorry it took me this long to realize this, but i will never let it go and i will never stop learning

ppl who arent trans men can reblog but if youre cis id appreciate not adding commentary cos you kind of have no stake in trans community issues

#also ill just block ppl who try to Argue. offering counterpoints that make sense is one thing but just screaming at me. shut up /#trans men have no stake in issues talking about misogyny we are not women /#likewise we are not trans women and have no stake in transmisogyny issues #idk where the other post i made on this is but im gonna leave it up for the sake of not trying to like #hide the shit i say /

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trickstarbrave · 7 years

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“well its terf rhetoric” guys you cant even come up with a concise definition of what ‘terf rhetoric’ is besides “IF YOU REPLACE ‘ASEXUAL’ WITH ‘TRANSGENDER’ IT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE HOW TERFS SOUND”

how terfs sound and what they do to back it up are not the same ‘thing’. also list of terf rhetoric and it actual feminist rhetoric: gender is socially constructed, sexual abuse against women, etc. however terfs differ from standard feminists in: they are flat out violent (going to feminist events with the SOLE PURPOSE OF MURDERING A TRANS WOMAN) and deny evidence. they work together with conservatives in order to kill trans women, sue trans women for existing and disagreeing with them, and more. terfs are not just bad blogs on tumblr who say really hurtful shit (although yeah terfs do like to be dicks on social media), terfs are not some internet phenomenon where blocklists and ‘making them mad’ can help. terfs are in bills and laws. terfs are behind structured and carefully executed violence. terfs are behind banning trans women at feminist events.

saying “well if you say ace ppl don’t belong in the lgbt community that sounds like terfs saying trans women dont belong in feminist spaces” is fundamentally misunderstanding what terfs do. terfs dont say ‘trans women arent welcome here’ terfs bring guns and knives to feminist spaces to stab and trans women. terfs bring guns out in public to shoot trans women in bathrooms. trans women sexually harass women and sexually assault them to ‘check’ if she is a ‘real woman’.

if you’re going to say “ace exclusionists are like terfs” you’re going to have to provide evidence not of ace exclusionists resembling terfs online. you’re going to have to pull up exclusionists doing things like this at lgbt events. you’re going to have to pull up exclusionists trying to make laws. you’re going to have to pull up examples of exclusionists defacing ace events and support groups.

but no one has. the second you even say “terfs do x,y and z and i havent seen an exclusionist do that” you get blocked. why? okay thats silly i know why

#ace discourse #like #once again i would welcome ppl proving me wrong but #got this whole AERF thing is killingme

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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I dont like white women.

Whenever I say that, white women look at me like I just decapitated Taylor Swift. If Im being honest, their reaction is part of the reason I say it. But rest assured, its not the only reason.

I dont like white women because Im not particularly fond of the construct of whiteness or what it represents. I also dont appreciate those who are complicit in my oppression and benefit from it. When I say I dont like white women, its not in reference to any specific white woman (aside from maybe Taylor Swift). Its a declaration that white women pose a very real threat to my existence, and I dont have to embrace that threat with open arms. You have to earn my fondness. This goes for several other groups, obviously, but for some reason white women seem the most baffled by it. Whenever I meet a white woman whos not baffled by it, we instantly become friends. Those are the white women I like.

I dont like white women because Im not particularly fond of the construct of whiteness or what it represents.

As an unapologetically black, queer, and cash poor femme, I accept that I can only speak definitively on my own experiences. In fact, Im of the belief that our experiences are the only things any of us can definitively speak on. But that doesnt mean ours are the only experiences worth acknowledging. There exists a space between the oft chanted chorus silence is violence! and the realization that when we advocate for other people we usually have no idea what were talking about. Navigating that space can be difficult, but its vital to achieving universal liberation. The fact so many white women continue to evade this space is why Black women like me are under the impression they arent all too concerned with our liberation. And just once, Id love for them to prove me wrong.

Im not a scholar, so occasionally I get left behind by academic terminology used to define my identity. Ill never understand why I have to classify myself the way others see fit. Once, someone asked why I refer to myself as cash poor instead of working class. I think working class is a misnomer, since work is no indication of any shared socio-economic status. An undocumented sex worker, for example, and a white housewife trying to get her Etsy Store off the ground dont have much in common. Saying both are working class does a lot to alleviate the conscience of those in positions of privilege. Yet still, when I turn on the news, thats the group I hear politicians declaring their allegiance to. Thats the group I see folks clamoring to fight for. Terms like working class often erase intersections of oppression and replace them with a fictional shared experience. The same can be said of words like feminism, and even women. Ultimately, its not our shared experiences (real or imagined) that will unite us. Its acknowledging our differences.

Today, intersectionality has become a buzzword meant to lend credibility to social agendas that are anything but inclusive.

We leftists and liberals often like to think of ourselves as an intersectional body of unity. When Kimberl Crenshaw coined the phrase intersectionality in the late 80s, the concept was meant to bring attention to co-existing layers of social identity. Today, intersectionality has become a buzzword meant to lend credibility to social agendas that are anything but inclusive. I witnessed this, first hand, last month at the Womens March.

The Womens March was bittersweet for women of color and trans women. Although the official platform of the march referenced intersectionality twice, the experience was anything but that. For all its symbolism and potential, the Womens March was largely a tightly packed shrine to alabaster skin and pink vulvas. My compatriots and I jokingly nicknamed the crowd a sea of astroTERF (a reference to the way trans women were all but excluded from the concerns of the participants). I made a mental note whenever I saw a white woman holding a sign that acknowledged women of color or immigrantsor Black lives mattering. My mental notepad remained largely unused.

I immediately began to think of the violence and harm that self-proclaimed feminists inflict on the most marginalized among us. I thought of all the times I, as a queer individual, believed I was doing enough for queer Black folk by just providing my queer Black body to spaces where not enough of us were present.

I considered the ways in which I was complicit in the erasure of trans women, non-able bodied femmes, and undocumented immigrants; the times I was in my feels because a trans woman made a Facebook status dragging the fuck out of my perception of solidarity. I thought of instances when I actually said Why would I want to fight alongside your struggle if you arent welcoming people like me who are actually trying to advocate on your behalf?

Each of those times I had the wrong way of thinking. I came to that realization by listening and learning and surrounding myself with people who were gracious enough to share insights that I lacked. I believe this has led me to not only be a better feminist, but a better human being. I havent quite yet reached the pinnacle of intersectional Shangri-La, but I know some stuff. And in the interest of sharing my own insights, Ill leave you with three things I try to consider when partaking in liberation work.

Maintaining a Growth Mindset I try to always keep in mind that there are things I dont know. More importantly, there are things I think I know now, that Im just flat wrong about. Hopefully in the future Ill figure out what those things are, and continue on my path of self-determination. But we can never grow mentally, emotionally, or spiritually if we approach things with a closed mind. I always try to listen to the accounts and experiences of others with the notion that Ill pick up something new. Thats how we learn about privilege and our role in oppressing others. Thats how we learn about intersectionality. I cant overstate the importance of listening to people who are willing to share their experiences with us. We just have to be cognizant of who were willing to listen to most intentlywhich brings me to my next point.

Diversity from the Top Society has a hierarchy of experiential priorities. Those priorities align with the social pecking order, starting with straight white able-bodied cisgender men, and proceeding down the line accordingly. When I do anything, I try to start by flipping that hierarchy upside down before I proceed. If Im picking a restaurant to eat dinner, Im going to go out of my way to support a minority-owned business. If Im participating in a direct action, I want to make sure its led by, or in alignment with, the leadership of the most marginalized.

Many Black women who attended the Womens March did so begrudgingly because Black women were largely excluded from the planning until the 11th hour. That doesnt go unnoticed. In order for our liberation to become a reality, we have to incorporate diversity from the top. And it cant be symbolic diversity or tokenism. Are you centering the voices of the unheard? Are you following their direction and listening to their needs? I promise you that your own liberation depends on everyone elses. When you fight for the lives of the most marginalized you simultaneously liberate yourself. A rising tide lifts all boats, yall. Dont end up with a yacht in the desert.

Love Lastly, even when I say I dont like white women, I dont do it from a place of hatred. I do it from a place of self-love and preservation. I dont have to like you to have love and respect for you. If you prescribe to the idea that impact trumps intent, you still cant deny the fact that people who act with love in their hearts usually have the most positive impact. And the best way to convey love is with our actions, not just our words. So when doing this work, its OK to stop and ask yourself if your motivation is coming from a place of love or a place of fear. Its easy to hate. I hate the police. But thats not why I do this work. I do this work because I LOVE my beautiful people, in all their magnificent shapes, sizes, shades, and orientations. I see you. I hear you. And I promise to do my best to honor you.

Reposted from Black Lives Matter Medium.com page: http://ift.tt/2lhA7yy