#the only thing that's coming to mind is that the ''walled garden'' is related to william somehow. which i guess wouldn't... not make sense.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefallennightmare · 5 months

Text

Just Pretend-nineteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: I realized today that Sarah and I have been working on this story for almost TWO MONTHS. Holy shit. Talk about a slow burn! I don't think it's ever taken me this long to write an active story. Also, there are a few sentences in Greek and Italian in this chapter. You can find the translations at the end of the chapter.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic

NOAH

My knee bounced in a tangent along with the clock on the wall behind Dr. Poulos as she tilted her head towards me, waiting for my answer.

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” I blinked slowly.

She gave me a small smile, tapping her pen on her notebook; something I’ve realized she did when she was ready to ask me a hard-hitting question.

“How have the panic attacks been?” Dr. Poulos wondered.

“Uh,” I rubbed my jaw. “It’s been better, I suppose. I still feel them starting every once in a while but my friends have been great at helping me through them.”

“That’s great,” she smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I know it was a problem for you from our first session.”

“Yeah, I’ve come to realize there were a few aspects of my life that hindered me more than helped me.”

Dr. Poulos’ brows raised. “Like what?”

“Up until recently, I would drink; a lot. And smoke weed every so often. People say it’s the lesser of the drugs but it affected me in such a way that I didn’t like the man I saw in the mirror. Same with the alcohol. So, I’ve decided to become sober.”

That spread a wider smile on her face. “I’m proud of you, Noah. It’s not an easy thing to overcome but to see how determined you are makes me very happy.”

I ran my hands over my thighs while standing up straighter on the couch; her positive praise made my heart beat a bit faster.

“I just want to be the healthiest I can be. Your body is a temple, ya know? It’s only been a few weeks but I can already tell a difference in the way I sing.”

“That’s exceptional, Noah. I’m happy to hear that. It’ll help the course of your life. But I must ask, do you feel it’ll leave a part of you open and willing to accept the love you think you deserve?”

I pursed my lips. “What do you mean?”

“Well, as you mentioned previously, it sounds like Y/N has had some complicated relations with a man who was in a state of addiction. Do you feel that maybe, a part of your being sober can help you leave that part finally open? Allow you to see that you can be loved.”

When I remained silent, letting her words rest in my mind, Dr. Poulos shut her notebook and set it on the table between us; next to one of those sand zen garden things.

“What you're doing with Bailey and hiding your true feelings for Y/N doesn't seem to be helping, right?”

I shook my head with a long sigh. “I never meant for things to go this far.”

Dr. Poulos leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, stippling her fingers.

“Has Y/N ever given you a reason to doubt the things you say to her?”

“No. Never,” I answered without missing a beat.

“Then what’s stopping you from telling her how you feel?” She brushed a strand of brown-graying hair from her eyes.

With Dr. Poulos’ words replaying in my mind, I sat down on the steps of her office while clicking on Bailey’s contact name on my phone. As it rang, I tapped my fingers on my knee to drum a random beat.

“Hey, it’s Bailey. Leave me a message!’

Cursing to myself, I wished that she had answered because I didn’t want to do this with her voicemail but I had no other option. This needed to be done.

“Bailey, it’s me- Noah,” I sighed while pinching my eyes shut. “Listen, I didn’t want to do this over text or on your voicemail. But I thought it best you hear me say this. I wanted to discuss it with you the other day but shit came up.”

My eyes watched as a few people walked past on the sidewalk in front of me.

“Look, I never wanted to hurt you, you’re a nice girl but this-us-isn’t working for me. I’m-I’m sorry if this hurts you. Truly. I’m not good at words all the time but I will say that I wish you the best and I hope you have a nice life.”

After hanging up, I could physically feel the weight lift off my shoulders and heart. Breathing was easier and lighter, so with this newfound feeling, I quickly dialed Y/N’s number.

“Mochi!”

I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Hi, angel. Are you busy?” I asked while rising from the steps to walk a few steps to my car that was parked in the street.

“I’m walking into an appointment right now. Can I call you later?”

Ignoring the way my heart dropped, I started my car and sat there for a moment.

“Of course. I’ll be in the studio but I’ll always answer for you.” My hand ran over the steering wheel.

“So sweet,” Y/N chuckled and my stomach fluttered. “There’s a reason why I gave you that nickname.”

We quickly said our goodbyes and my mind was filled with the heavy conversation I needed to have with Y/N. I didn’t even realize the familiar figure bounding up the steps of the same office I left mere minutes ago, her yellow sundress flowing in the wind.

READER

My eyes were trained on the small sand zen garden on Dr. Poulos’ table as she tapped her pen against the notebook in her lap. The clock ticked annoyingly loudly behind her, almost mocking me as I continued to leave her question unanswered.

“Y/N,” Dr. Poulos’s voice was firm, breaking me from my trance. “You mentioned your mother contacted you the other day?”

I played with the hem of my yellow sundress. “Uh, yeah. She doesn't do it often but when she does, she really lets her feelings known.”

“And what are those feelings?”

“The same bullshit. My mom doesn’t agree with the lifestyle I’ve chosen. She thinks it's a waste of time,” I shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s who she is. Being Greek, I was raised to have large but realistic dreams. My father on the other hand wanted and still wants me to follow my heart, he wants me to go after what I want, what I need. There’s a line between both of them.”

“You know,” Dr. Poulos tucked a strand of her brown-graying hair behind her ear. “There’s a study that says insecure attachment styles can develop as a result of poor parenting. Research indicates that attachment in childhood affects the development of familial, social, and romantic relationships later in life. Do you feel this has deeply affected or influenced your relationships?

I pursed my lips. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve had a pattern of falling for men who aren't good for you yet believing they are real love when you know subconsciously you deserve better.”

“Maybe,” the word trailed off my lips, uncertainty weighing heavy on my heart.

Dr. Poulos hummed, crossing one leg over the other. “It sounds that way, doesn’t it? Are you running from Noah because you’re afraid you’ll disappoint him? Afraid he’ll do what your mother often does? You’ve seen the way your parent's marriage was like growing up, that has to be a hindering factor, doesn't it?

My jaw ticked. “My mother was unfair to my father. I’d never do that or treat anyone that way.”

“I know you won’t, Y/N. You know it yourself, deep down in your heart,” she patted a hand over her own heart. “Because from what you told me about Noah, I don’t believe that he would act the way your mother has. You won’t disappoint him. And he doesn’t want to do that to you either.”

I shook my head widely. “He’s with someone else so it doesn't even matter.”

A small smile lifted at the corner of her lips. “Quite the contrary, Y/N. You said it earlier you wanted to tell him the truth. He isn’t your mother and again, from what you’ve told me it sounds like you both may want the same things. You’re just not trusting yourself. You’re relying on your trauma and issues with your mother to get in the way.”

“Wow, nice observation,” I snorted. “How am I supposed to fix that?”

Dr. Poulos ignored my snarky attitude. “If your mother has been unreliable, then you may need to lean on other people who are for support. Socializing with friends and learning to be vulnerable with others can help increase emotional connection.”

“Malcolm and Chase are reliable,” I stated.

“It sounds like it, from what you’ve told me,” she nodded. “There’s also Noah. His support can take some time to develop but having stable relationships with others can be part of healing. And most of all, self-care.”

I left therapy with a hopeful heart and bright smile. Dr. Poulos always knew what I needed to hear as much as I tried to fight it. Peaking down at my phone, my pulse quickened when I noticed a missed text from Noah.

Mochi 🍡: New episode of Attack on Titan dropped. I can pick up lunch. Your place or mine?

Giggling, I typed out my response, not letting anything ruin this euphoric high I felt.

NOAH

I stood outside Y/N’s front door, shaking out the nerves, and knocked on it. I had a bag of take-out food in my hand, something she requested from her favorite burrito place.

“Hi,” she smiled while letting me in. “Did you remember the Dr. Pepper?”

I chuckled while holding up the cup. “Light ice.”

As we set out the food on the table in their dining room, I motioned towards the various easels and splattered pain on the carpet. “Studio?”

“Yeah,” Y/N gave a sheepish smile. The lighting in here is better than my bedroom; although not by much.”

I took in the various paintings of abstract lines and colors, some of random landscapes, and one of Salem.

“These are really good, angel.”

“I’m glad I decided to do this. Painting has been a great way to escape from reality, even for a little bit,” she took a bite of her burrito. “Oh, extra guac? How’d you know?”

I shrugged. “I just do.”

We ate in silence for the next few long moments and as much as I tried to quiet the loud voices in my mind that screamed at me to tell Y/N the truth right now, it was extremely difficult.

My eyes took in the glimmer of her bracelet as she reached for the chips and I couldn't stop the smile that spread wide to my lips. Y/N was still wearing the jewelry I bought her and it made me feel proud.

“Where’s Chase and Malcolm?” I asked, noticing the quiet.

Y/N took a large drink of her soda, reveling in the taste. “Hiking. They left earlier this morning and typically don’t come back till later. So I have the place to myself.”

Just as I was about to speak, a persistent knock sounded on the front door, and she turned towards it with a confused stare.

“Expecting anyone?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Probably someone selling Girl Scout cookies.”

“If they have Thin Mints, I’ll take four boxes,” I called after Y/N.

Her laugh echoed throughout the room but soon seized when she opened the door. I noticed the way her body went rigid and I slowly rose in time to see a tall but petite brunette all but push her way inside.

“Hi, koukla. I would have texted or called but it seems like you have an issue with checking your phone,” the lady peered around the space, a sour look on her lips.

“Mo-mom? What are you doing here?”

Shit.

I knew there was a history with Y/N’s mom but never knew how deep it ran.

“I was in town and thought to surprise you. Since you never talk to me anymore,” her mom tsked.

Finally, her eyes landed on me, standing in the threshold of the living room and dining room; gaze hardening.

“Who’s this?” She asked Y/N.

Internally I snorted at how she asked Y/N rather than asking me.

“I’m Noah,” I introduced myself while brushing away the strands from my face.

Her mom hummed before nodding towards the back end of the house. “Give me and my daughter some privacy.”

“Mom!” Y/N seethed.

Noticing how the tension shifted, I gave Y/N a soft smile. “It’s alright. I’ll go say hi to Salem.”

With my back to them, I walked down the hall and heard her mom mutter something in Greek.

“Giatí échei makriá malliá?”

“Eísai apísteftos,” Y/N responded in a stern voice.

Sitting in the Y/N’s bedroom with Salem perched on my lap, I left the door wide open so I could listen in on the conversation. It may have been wrong to eavesdrop but something deep inside of me told me to be on edge, just in case.

“You should have called, Mom,” Y/N said.

“You never return my calls.”

“Gee, I wonder why. You exactly haven’t been that peachy the last few times we’ve talked.” I could hear the slight edge in Y/N’s voice.

“I thought I’d told you I don’t appreciate the way you speak to me.”

“It’s a two-way street, Mom. You get what you give.”

Salem purred loudly in my lap and I continued to scratch him in the spot I knew he loved; between his ears.

“I’ve always hated when your father used that line,” her mother sighed.

Someone was pacing, their footsteps echoing loudly down the hall, and I peered down at Salem.

“Your mom seems pretty upset right now,” I frowned at the feline.

His bright green eyes stared back at me, simply demanding one thing silently; more pets to which I obliged.

“Have you been to the doctor lately?”

“Since when do you care, Mom? You never ask how I’m doing.”

Salem jumped off of me when I slowly rose to my feet, deciding that I needed to be closer to Y/N, just in case.

“I know how bad Endometriosis affects you, Y/N. I’m simply wondering.”

I could almost hear Y/N roll her eyes as I neared the end of the hallway, out of sight but could still see just enough. Y/N stood with her hands on her hips while her mom sat comfortably on the couch.

“I’m fine.” Y/N kept her answers short.

Her mother pursed her lips. “And how’s the career?”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at the way she said career.

Y/N snorted. “Please, like you give a shit.”

“Watch your language!”

“You’ve never supported me with my music. Hell, with any of my dreams. So don’t start acting like you give a shit now.

Her mom rose to her feet, narrowing her gaze. “That’s not true. I only want what’s best for you, Y/N. You don’t want to end up like your father and be stuck.”

“He wasn’t stuck,” Y/N scoffed while clenching her fists.

Her mother clicked her tongue while brushing away Y/N’s hair from her face. “Yes, sweetie, he was. And I’m telling you, no man will want to deal with someone that’s always on the road. What man is going to wait around or understand this lifestyle? What future are you gonna have?”

My jaw clenched at hearing those words because I knew it wasn’t true. There was a man who wanted Y/N; me. I would wait for years if I had to. Whenever she was ready, I’d be here.

But hearing how her mom talked to her made me realize that there was a reason why Y/N never spoke of her and why she was so apprehensive of any future relationship.

“We’re not talking about this,” Y/N stepped away from her mom to stand on the other end of the couch, giving more space between them.

“Once again, you’re avoiding a tough subject. I didn’t raise you this way,” her mother chastised.

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Raised me? Are you fucking kidding me? You barely were home, too busy focusing on your career leaving Dad home to raise me!”

I smirked at hearing Y/N mock her mother in how she said career moments before.

“Your father was always your favorite. But it was me you stayed with after the divorce!” Her mother's voice was raised.

Fearing this would end in such a bad way, I pulled my phone to send a text to Chase.

Me: Y/N’s mom is here and I’m afraid shit is about to hit the fan. What should I do?

His response came almost immediately.

Chase: Fuck. Whatever you do, Noah. Don’t leave. Stay until we get there. Every time her mom either contacts her or shows up, Y/N goes into a dark place. Malcolm and I are leaving right now and should be back in an hour.

I swallowed thickly as my stomach dropped. If the guys were worried about Y/N’s mom being here, it could only mean one thing.

Disaster.

“I stayed with you because you made me feel guilty!” Y/N choked on a sob. “For years I wondered why I didn’t feel a connection with you so I thought staying with you would bring us closer. But instead, you dropped the you’re adopted bomb on me; on my birthday!”

Her mother had the audacity to shrug.

“You probably would have found out eventually. I simply sped up the process.”

Y/N shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Because I tell the truth? You think people are going to stay with you with the lifestyle you’ve chosen?”

“Oh, gods, we’re back on this again?” Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “I have a lot of people that support me.”

“Who? Your friend?” Her mom pointed a firm finger towards the hallway where I was still hiding around the corner. “Do you think he is going to wait around?”

For years if I have to.

“No. No one will, Y/N. You’re like your father with these pipe dreams.”

“Pipe dreams? I didn’t realize wanting a family was a pipe dream,” Y/N spat.

Her mother gave her a somber smile, clicking her teeth. “Kouklamou, I thought we talked about this. You can’t have a family, not the traditional way anyway. You need to realize that no man is going to want to go through all that trouble to have a child. It’s not worth it.”

Y/N and I both flinched at the same time, those words almost verbatim with what Trey used to say to her. There I stood, my fists clenched by my sides, I rolled my shoulders back, glaring towards the petite brunette with dark eyes.

I was feeling triggered while I observed this entire thing; it felt intrusive at first but now feels like I’m behind fifty feet of glass.

It made sense now, why this loving bond between Y/N and I was inaccessible. In this mode, I had to take great care not to damage these bonds of love, this relationship, this friendship, and this woman in front of me, who very early on became everything to my heart and soul. For in time, the glass disappeared and my love returned stronger.

I understood.

From my corner, I could see how the kitchen table had seen every emotion, from the sweet silent happiness of family times, when the only sound is contented enjoyment, to the rage that bursts out in the hard times; I understood.

I refused to stand there and let it sour, not to her. Never to her.

Sobs played like a sad tune and I noticed Y/N was crying, hastily whipping away the tears.

“I can’t believe I continue to let you in my life, knowing how you’ll treat me. Girls are supposed to look up to their mothers as idols, to learn from them how to be mothers. But you’ve shown me how not to treat my kids in the future.”

“We’ve talked about this, Y/N. The chances of you becoming a mother are not in the cards for you. Neither is this musical career. You need to face reality.”

Fuck this.

As I stepped into view of them, Y/N pointed to the front door. “I don’t need you to come in here and tell me how to run my life, I’m done with this.”

“Y/n-.”

“You heard her,” I spoke while standing next to Y/N, immediately wrapping my arm around her shoulder to pull her into my chest.

My heart broke at how quickly she grasped onto my shirt, not wanting me to let her go.

“Excuse me? This is a private matter between my daughter and me. This doesn't concern you,” her mom’s eyes sliced into me.

“It does. Because it’s Y/N.”

Her mom’s gaze bounced between the two of us, almost waiting for Y/N to object to my words, but instead, she stood firm, sniffing away her tears.

“You need to leave.”

With one final glare, Y/N’s mom snatched her purse off the couch while muttering something Greek under her breath before she slammed the door behind her; all the negative energy leaving in waves.

“Y/N,” I tried to make her look at me but she kept her head cast down.

“I can’t, Noah,” she cried.

I lifted her chin with a firm finger and sucked in a breath as broken, bloodshot eyes stared back at me.

“Don’t ever hide from me, angel. You know that.”

Y/N kept her gaze firm on my face. “She does this every time. I don’t know why I continue to let her. I’m just a girl who wants her mother's love, is that so wrong?”

“Angel,” I murmured while pulling her into my embrace, brushing a kiss across her forehead.

NOAH

My fingers drummed against the marble counter in front of me while Davis set out various ingredients. We were currently streaming the two of us cooking BLTs, something for the fans to enjoy and watch. I was reading some of the comments, smiling at a few then cringing at some others.

Davis handed me a block of cheese. “Cut this up for me, would ya?”

With it in one hand, I playfully spit on my hand before giving it a nice smack.

“Hm, imagining that someone's ass?” He smirked under his breath.

I gave him a light shove. “Fuck off.”

We spent the next long while goofing off and having fun for the stream. It was nice to let my mind focus on something else besides Y/N and her mom. I spent the rest of the night at her place, holding her in my arms as she cried herself to sleep. The familiar scent of her lingered on me as I tucked her softly in her bed. Before I walked out of her house, I ran into Chase and Malcolm, whose parting words stuck with me all day.

“She needs you more than she’ll admit. It may not seem like it but she does.”

Y/N texted me this morning to thank me for being there for her and say that if she went M.I.A for a while today, it’s only because Hollow Souls were in the studio recording. I didn't ask how she was feeling after the surprise visit from her mom. Y/N would tell me, if she wanted to, when she was ready.

“Alright, let’s read some comments,” Davis suggested as we finished up the cook-off; me winning.

He held Max in his hands, every so often giving him kisses. As I read a few comments out loud and responded, the dog practically begged me for attention when a familiar username appeared on the screen.

Y/NHollowSouls: Noah Sebastian, I swear to Hades himself. You kiss Max right now or I’ll come over there and kick your ass.

I laughed while shaking my head. “Alright, Max. Come here! Let me give you some love.”

I scratched the dog's ear while leaving a soft kiss on his nose then looked back to the computer screen to see Y/N leave another comment.

Y/NHollowSouls: Good, that’s better. Now I need to taste this famous BLT that won.

“Then get your ass over here. Bring some coconut water because Noah drank the last one,” Davis said once he read the comment.

My heart began to beat widely in my chest at the thought of seeing Y/N again.

Y/NHollowSouls: fuck yes. Noah, have that sandwich ready for me.

We ended the stream shortly after that but my eyes lingered on the black screen for a long moment. Davis immediately picked up on my quiet mood and knocked on the countertop.

“Noah?”

My name was white noise, still staring at zoning out in front of me.

“Earth to Noah! Come in Herc! Come in Herc!”

“What?” My eyes snapped over to Davis, finally breaking out of my trance.

“What I thought.” He smirks before getting serious. “Are you alright?”

I gave a weak smile towards Davis. “Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He motioned towards the laptop. “I know you’re not actually fine right now but-.”

I ran a hand over my face, doing my best to keep my breathing calm and even. “I’ll be fine, I promise. It just fucking hurts.”

Davis shifted on his feet, hesitation clear on his face. “Why? No disrespect to Y/N at all, you know I love her-we all do. But why did you choose to stay in touch? After all the hurt you’ve gone through.”

My vision was direct with his. “Because I’d rather have her from afar to make sure she’s alright than to not have her in my life at all. Besides, she’s going through a lot of shit, something no one should go through alone. I won’t let her.”

A grin spread across his face and he nodded. “I knew it. I just wanted to hear you admit it. But you need to end this shit with Bailey.”

“I already did.”

“Fuck,” Davis’ eyes widened. “Finally. How did she take it?”

I nervously rubbed the back of my neck. “That’s the thing, she didn’t answer. I left her a voicemail.”

“A voicemail? Damn, do you think she got the message?” Davis wondered while be began cleaning up the mess.

I, instead, began making another sandwich for Y/N, knowing she’d be here soon. “I fucking hope so. If not, then she’s probably testing me to see if I’d change my mind.”

“But you won't, right?”

I snorted. “Fat chance.”

Davis turned towards me, drying his hands on a towel. “So you broke up with Bailey. What’s the next step with Y/N?”

“I need to talk to her first. There’s a lot we need to talk about,” I said while pulling out a cold can of Dr. Pepper from the fridge.

“Hey, that’s the last one,” he exclaimed.

I merely shrugged while setting a place at the kitchen table for Y/N. “It’s for Y/N.”

Davis, as much as he tried to be upset, chuckled. “In all seriousness, Noah, you know we’re here to support you. We have your back.”

I smiled at one of my best friends. “I know.”

Just then a knock sounded on the front door and before Davis could answer it, I quickly closed the short distance and opened it with a smile; only for it to drop seeing Y/N standing on the other side with a frown.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned while allowing her to step inside and led her to Davis’ kitchen.

“Chase’s birthday is on Friday and the venue I booked for it just canceled on me. Something about a pipe bursting and the room is flooded,” she exasperated while falling into the chair at the table.

“What are you going to do?” I questioned while sitting across from her.

Davis joined us at the table, taking the coconut water from Y/N with a small smile.

“Thankfully since they have to cancel, I get my deposit back but Malcolm is freaking out,” she waved her phone around. “We have two days to figure out somewhere new for this surprise party.”

“You can have it at my place,” I suggested.

Y/N took a long drink of her soda. “Are you sure? Don’t you think you should talk with the rest of the guys first?”

I snatched a chip off her plate and shrugged. “They won’t mind.”

“Sei un tesoro, mochi,” she patted my cheek.

Davis choked on his drink and my eyes snapped over to him. “I don’t want to hear it!”

He held up his hands. “I didn’t hear anything.”

Y/N smirked before taking the first bite of her sandwich and groaned. “Oh shit, this is good. No wonder you won, Noah.”

With a prideful smirk, I motioned to the rest of her plate. “Finish up. I’ll call the guys and have them meet here and we can plan Chase’s party.”

At one point, Davis left to take Max for a walk, leaving Y/N and I alone. We sat silently and enjoyed the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seemed only the old could sit next to one another, not say anything, and still feel content. The young, brash, and impatient, must always break the silence. It’s a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.

“Oh, I never noticed the great view Davis has,” Y/N mused while pushing away her empty plate.

Realizing it was almost time for the sun to set, I quickly cleaned up for her and motioned towards the back door.

“Let’s go sit outside for a bit, yeah?” I suggested.

READER

Noah and I sat comfortably on the patio bench, a blanket draped over both of our legs as we stared out at the vast greens of Davis’ backyard. The sky was painted in bright oranges with hints of pink and purple. Silently, I thought to myself that I should have brought my art supplies, noting this would be a beautiful experience to paint.

The silence between Noah and I was comforting, something you don’t find all that often. People always needed to talk rather than just listen to the world around them. The way the birds chirped, the faint noises of evening traffic, or the sound of the wind as it blew a chilly breeze.

“Angel?”

I hummed while looking over towards Noah.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is there-I don’t know-anything you really want besides music right now?”

“I want a studio, with giant canvas’, paint; just an art studio galore! I’ve gotten into the hobby and love it,” I answered with a bright smile. “I was even thinking of using some of my art for the album artwork. Just playing with ideas.”

Noah’s smile matched mine as he let his hair loose from the hair tie, letting it fall to his shoulders in waves. “I love that you found something else you’re so passionate about, angel.”

“I love painting. I really do,” I leaned farther back against the couch and rested my head against it.

“So paint. You should do whatever your heart desires, Y/N.”

“Thank you, mochi” I nudged him.

Noah rested his head against the couch, inches away from mine as another thought came to mind.

“You know,” I started with a long sigh. “When I was a kid, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else”

“You wanted to be petty and dishonest?“ He joked.

“Not everyone is like that,” I defended with a shake of my head.

“Yes they are,” Noah retorted back. “But not you. You’re not like that.”

This had me sitting up straighter, Noah following me. “How do you know what I’m like?”

“I see you,” He shifted closer to me, hand brushing across my knee over the blanket. “I’ve seen you for a long time. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met”.

My heart beat widely in my chest, the noise deafening in my ears and I cleared my throat.

“I think you are too. If I’m being honest, I think I’ve always sorta known that,” I admitted.

“You know,” Noah’s hand rested on my knee. “With me bouncing between homes and couches growing up, I always thought I’d be alone. I’d never expected to have such an amazing group of friends.”

“Sometimes maybe it’s better to be alone,” I shrugged while looking past his shoulder to an older couple watching in the neighborhood.

“Why do you say that?”

I still kept my gaze off Noah, voice dropping low. “Nobody can hurt you.”

“Y/N,” Noah sighed and lifted my chin so I could meet his intense gaze. “I would never, ever hurt you.”

Those eyes. I’ve dreamed of those eyes almost every night since our first meeting so long ago. I won’t say I’m in love, not out loud, but I am. I came to terms with that a while ago.

“I know, mochi,” I finally whispered.

Noah’s thumb traced over my jawline. “I understand why it’s hard for you, Y/N. But know that when I’m with you, I don’t feel alone.”

That magnetic pull that always seemed to connect us with that invisible string made me lean closer to him needing his warmth to envelop me.

“I’ve never had this instant connection with anyone. I know you understand it too,” he continued.

With my continued silence, Noah sat up straighter but kept his grip on my chin. “Are you freaked out? Because not hearing you say anything kind of-.”

“Noah- no,” I rested my hands on his chest. “I feel it too.”

His hand grasped the back of my neck now, tilting my head up towards him, as we began to lead in closer, and when his warm breath fanned over my lips, I let my eyes flutter shut.

“Hey guys-oh shit.”

Quickly pushing away from Noah, I peered over my shoulder to see Malcolm leaning against the back door.

“We’re all inside ready to talk about the party. Whenever you two decide to grace us,” Malcolm winked before slipping back inside.

Clearing my throat, I let the realization sink in what Noah and I were about to do. He’s with Bailey and I was ready to kiss him. I’m not this kind of person but yet here I was again being caught between him and my conscious. Bailey, as intrusive as she was, didn’t deserve this.

Noah tried to bring me back to him but I quickly stood up, giving us more space.

“We can’t do this. Not again,” my hair shook widely around my shoulders. “It’s not fair to Bailey.”

“I ended it.”

I blinked. “Wha-Oh? You did?”

As ecstatic as I was hearing this, I did my best to hide it. I didn’t want Noah to know inside I was jumping for fucking joy; like a kid on Christmas that received the toy they’d been wanting.

Noah stood from the couch now, standing in front of me. “I think Bailey saw me as Noah on the big screen, not me the person and after everything at that dinner I just knew it was time.”

“I’m-I’m sorry,” I stammered, not knowing what else to say.

His brows furrowed. “Why? It wasn’t serious. There wasn’t that connection; like the one we have.”

As my lips parted, it was Jesse now who interrupted us, taking a bite of the apple in his hand. “Are you guys coming or what?”

Noah cursed while running a hand through his hair and I shakily pointed over his shoulder.

“We should head inside. Talk about this party.”

Not wanting to spend another second out here, afraid to finally give in to the thoughts that were screaming at me, I gently brushed past him to return inside.

GREEK TRANSLATIONS:

Koukla-doll

Kouklamou- my doll

“Giatí échei makriá malliá?”- Why does he have long hair?

"Eísai apísteftos"-you're unbelievable

ITALIAN TRANSLATIONS:

Sei un tesoro-you're a sweetheart.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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kaimxri · 1 year

Text

Means To An End

Lucien x Reader (she/her)

Part II Part III Warnings: ooc Azriel Wordcount: 3K A/N: I'm thinking of writing a part two to this depending on the reaction this gets:)

Azriel had been clear on the rules of our ‘relations’. We are not dating; we do not stay the night and we certainly do not discuss our feelings. Although, he has never been discreet about his own emotions. I almost believed my name to be ‘Elain’ with the number of times he moaned out for her during our nights spent together. I tried to bring it up one night, but his sharp glare cut me off before I could finish my questioning remark. I was simply just a body to warm his bed. Not someone with feelings. Of which I had gained for the spymaster.

Azriel would rather spend his time pining for a female who was clearly stringing him along than to look at me. The girl who had clawed her own heart out to make space for him.

When Azriel wasn’t inside me, he was avoiding me. Acting as though my very presence did not exist. Instead, his days were spent pandering to Elain’s every need. She called; he came. They spent time together tending to her garden. He would bring back seeds from distant courts. Even going as far as to breach Spring Court borders to retrieve flower seeds that he said would grow to compliment her eyes.

Her garden bloomed as did his love for her. They were a perfect contradiction, a perfect match. She balanced him out whilst he made her stronger. If it weren’t for Lucien, I am sure the pair would have bonded in some way. But alas the red-haired male stood in his way. At least he held some respect for her intended.

Though I am certain he curses the cauldron for giving what he believes to be his to Lucien.

When the night comes and she eventually brushes off his advances, he would crawl into my bed and pretend as though she felt for him as he did for her. Whilst I would pretend he felt the same for me.

Of course, I never said anything about our situation. If he knew of my feelings for him, he would end our arrangement before I could explain. Or if he already knew he never said anything. Perhaps that made him a bastard. To keep taking advantage of me when he knew I would hurt myself only to pleasure him. And perhaps that made me a fool. But I was in love. I knew his cold exterior was simply a front to keep others from prying too deep, but I couldn’t help but wonder what delights lay under his stone surface.

The little cracks he lets shine through during moments of unbridled joy bring me great happiness. The grins he lets slip when training with Cassian, the sleepy glaze over his eyes during his evening reading or even his little skip he does whilst running down the stairs on good mornings. He truly is the most beautiful male I have seen. And he does not see me.

The inner circle had noticed a developing distance between the spymaster and I but had not commented on it. Perhaps they didn’t know how deep our roots ran, how we spent our evenings only to act as if the other simply never existed. Or maybe they did know of the things we did behind closed doors. If they did, they probably felt some semblance of pity for me as they knew of Azriel’s affections towards Elain. But I didn’t want nor need their pity. I knew where I stood with Azriel, even though I wished I could be held a bit closer to his heart. Whilst the others are embraced in the warmth that is Azriel, I stay planted outside the stone walls of his being.

During the fourth month of this torture I found myself out in the garden in the dark of the night. Memories of that morning had bullied their way into my mind, leaving me restless and heartbroken. Mor had organised an evening out to Rita’s to celebrate having mentally survived our recent trip to Hewn City. I had spent all day preparing myself. Doing my makeup to perfection, braiding my hair in the way Azriel had complimented when we had first met. My dress was everything. The same sapphire blue as that of his siphons, shimmering in the light. The fabric flattered my body making me feel worthy.

I was practically skipping down the stairs of the town house, whistles from Cassian and Nesta reaching my ears making my grin widen more than I thought possible. Once I had reached the hallway, I had given a small twirl. Nesta showered me in compliments whilst Cassian touched the braids in my hair. My giggles died down and my heart skipped when my gaze landed on Azriel. His black shirt and dress pants hugged his frame, showing off the hard work he put into maintaining his body. As my eyes flew across the expansive pains of chest towards his godly face, my heart fell into my stomach. For Azriel had never even looked at me.

I had felt like a gem, until the second eldest Archeron sister appeared.

She glided down the stairs with the elegance of a doe. Everyone’s attention had fallen to her in her baby pink gown that hugged her slight frame. The colour of the dress amplifying the ruby flush crawling up her cheeks. Adoring word after word poured from Azriel’s mouth. Like a cascading waterfall of love, he was hoping for her to swim in the depths of it. Make her feel surrounded by his love and only his love. However, the presence of her yet-to-be mate hovering at her side dragged her from the waters of affection. Leaving her cold and unsure.

Oh, to be her. To have two males waiting for her to simply give a glance in their direction. If only she would choose already to spare them the inevitable heartbreak. Or maybe she would never choose. Simply keeping them both to herself. With tight enough leashes to have them wanting more but never being able to leave when her affections stray too far in the opposite direction. Not being able to take anymore, I winnowed to Rita’s. A half-baked excuse of wanting to get an early start on my night of drinking gaining attention from everyone but the man who unknowingly holds my heart in his hands.

The night droned on, the drinks blurred together. I barely remember dancing with an unknown fae male before a scarred hand is reaching for me in the crowd. Shadow enveloped me as lips fell upon my own. Barely registering the faraway look in Azriel’s eyes, as we fell into my sheets.

Before I knew it, it was over. Azriel had finished and left without a word. The last thing he had said was her name as he reached his peak. I was left in my wet sheets, holding a blanket to my chest. The interaction had sobered me. Moving around my room, blindly picking up my discarded clothing and re-dressing myself. I emerged from my bedroom and ended up on a stone bench of the garden in which Azriel had nursed his love for Elain.

“Why am I doing this?” I had thought out loud. Perhaps I had thought the Gods would answer me, give me advice on how to banish the male from my heart and my head. To give me an antidote to the heartbreak that is unrequited love.

“Why are you doing what?” The Gods had heard my indirect plea. I registered the voice as that of Lucien, Elain’s supposed mate. At least he would know what it feels like to love someone and not have them love you back.

“Funny you should ask Lucien; I don’t believe you of all people would have the answer.”

“Should that offend me? May I ask why I ‘of all people’ wouldn’t know the answer?” He sat next to me on the bench, shoulder to shoulder. I could smell the fae wine on him, but it was clear he was not drunk. Perhaps Elain had brushed him off too and he had left Rita’s early.

“Why do I love someone who does not love me back?” Silence followed. I did not expect him to answer for it was a difficult question. Even outside of a mating bond that has yet to be accepted. Many fae, even mortals, knew nothing of love. How one person can be so completely in love with another that sees them as nothing the same. It’s one of life’s great mysteries. I had felt slightly bad for asking Lucien that question as I knew my situation was nothing like his. At least I had a possible mate in the future for when Azriel inevitably rejects me. His mate however seems to be toying with the bond, leaving him in a grey area of hope and despair. We sat in the silence together for a while, staring at the stars hoping they would give an answer to our woes.

“Hope.” Was all he had said. The word lingered in the silence a while more until he stood and left me with nothing but a kiss on the forehead. I had stayed out not much longer than that. Making the decision to step back from Azriel. He had become a drug and I was addicted.

That night as I slept, I dreamt of my life free of Azriel. Perhaps I would find my mate. I would love him, and he would hopefully love me. We would be married and live our lives together. Maybe we would have a few children and we would get to see them grow into beautiful, intelligent adults. And I would never have to think about Azriel again.

Waking up that next morning I was filled with hope. Spending my day reading by the hearth. Romance novels, of course. Until Azriel walked in through the front door. His face was stoic, and he simply nodded his head towards the stairs. My resolve crumbled, and we ended up in my sheets yet again. I sobbed that night. For me, for my future. Would I ever be over Azriel? Could I truly ever move on? I came to the realisation that night that I could never move on from him if I saw him as often as I already did. I proved to myself today that I wasn’t strong enough to deny him the pleasure he seeks. Realisation washed over me; I need to get away.

It didn’t take me long to decide where I was going to go. The Day Court had always welcomed myself and my friends, Helion being a true friend at times. The court had also been my favourite place to be (besides Velaris) and felt like a second home. The warmth of Day would distract me from the now cold shadows that linger in the night, haunting my heart.

My bags were packed by the afternoon, but I wanted to wait until the next morning to leave. I was not brave enough to tell the others I was leaving so instead I was leaving a simple note. Not mentioning my deep feelings for Azriel, only a brief explanation that I was feeling overwhelmed and needed to deal with my emotions alone. That I needed space from them all and that I may not be returning. Leaving them all behind was going to be devastating but I needed to do this before I destroyed myself.

Midway through writing the note I was interrupted by a knocking at the door. Panicked that it was Azriel coming over to yet again take out his frustrations on me, I threw the papers to the side. Forgetting about my suitcases that remain leaned against my desk, ready for me to grab and leave when the morning comes.

“Come in” My voice was strained from hours of not using it. Cursing myself for sounding weak. As the door creaked open, it was not Azriel on the other side but Lucien. I silently thanked the Gods that it was not the male who was ruining me coming to seek me out.

“I had hoped to catch you before you went down for dinner. I wish to discuss our conversation from the night before last.” His posture was hunched, and his hands were wrung together. My concern for my friend grew and I ushered him inside and to my bed. We sat together for a while as I waited for him to unleash the thoughts swimming around his head.

“I too ask myself the same question you do. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I hurt myself wanting Elain when all she does is push me away?” My heart broke alongside his. He had leant his elbows against his knees and dropped his head. He looked so small. Lucien had never looked small before. Even when Elain started to initially show feelings towards Azriel, he always held strong. I had always admire him for his strength in the face of true pain.

“Well, it’s like you said Luc. Hope.” He scoffs.

“Do not make me laugh Y/N. We all know that if it weren’t for the bond, she would have rejected me and accepted the shadow singers advances by now. I am simply here because she pities me and does not wish to hurt me by rejecting the bond. I just wish she would get it over with so I can stop clinging onto this so-called hope.” His words had cut through me. As much as I had hated to admit it, he was right. If the bond had not happened Elain would be with Azriel by now. I would be free of him. None of this would ever have happened. When my eyes fall upon my friend again, I feel tears forming in my eyes. He had been through so much and out of all of my friends I believed he was the one who deserved true love the most. He does not deserve to be dragged along by this bond and a hopeless female.

“Well, why don’t you reject the bond?” His head shot up. Almost in shock that I had the audacity to suggest he destroy his one chance of having a soul twined mate.

“Are you insane, Y/N? Why would I do such a thing.”

“Well, it’s like you said. She does not want to hurt you by rejecting the bond. So, why don’t you do it? At least it would be on your terms as your idea and your choice to do so. To hell with her I say. She has strung yourself and Azriel along for a long time now and it is unfair to the both of you.” Lucien rolls his eyes at the mention of Azriel, almost as if simply just his name is enough to cause irritation to surge through his body.

“Are you saying this because you believe I should do this for myself, or because it would help out the shadow singer? I am not stupid Y/N I know of your affections for him.” His accusations make me almost enraged. If he wasn’t a heartbroken male on the verge of possibly having a rejected mating bond, I would have let loose and let him know exactly what I thought. Of how ridiculous that accusation is. Why would I want to push the man I love into the arms of another? Why would I want to remove the one blockade keeping him away from the one his heart desires? I do not want to do that.

“I am suggesting that for you, Lucien. You are my friend, and it pains me to see you go through this every day. Yes, I have love for Azriel, but does it not occur to you that this would be pushing him to Elain rather than to me? Do you think that is what I want? No. But I want to see you happy. You deserve it more than anyone I know and seeing you like this… Well, honestly my friend it is disheartening to say the least.”

We sit in another silence, as expected. Rejecting a bond is a big thing. Not a choice that you can come back from. If he were to do this, he would never have a chance with Elain again. Especially not with Azriel sitting and waiting for her to turn to him and tell him all he’s been waiting to hear. On the other hand, if he did this it would give him an opportunity to find a love of his own. One that has not been chosen for him by fate itself.

“If-if I did this. If I rejected the bond, what would I do then? I would have nowhere to go. I left Spring Court to be here with Elain. I’m not sure I’ll be welcomed back there. I’m only in Night Court for Elain and once the bond is rejected, I will not be welcome here either. Especially if I reject the bond. Could you imagine? She’s so frail still, I would be chased out of here and banished before I can even say the word ‘reject’.”

“Lucien… Just come with me. I am leaving tomorrow to go to the Day Court. I cannot be here anymore wallowing in these feelings as all I am doing is hurting myself day in and day out. We can leave and start fresh. Forget about the both of them. I know this is extreme, but gods I cannot do this anymore. ” His eyes lock with mine once more, moving back and forth almost as if he is trying to read me. I notice his gaze falling behind my shoulder to my packed bags leaning against my desk.

“Gods, I am so sorry Y/N. I’m such a selfish male I did not even notice those. You are truly leaving? Why did you not say anything?”

“Because I only decided to leave today. I am tired of being means to forget. I leave tomorrow morning, you are welcome to come with me.” He thinks for a few minutes, before slowly nodding his head at me.

“Okay. I will join you, Y/N. I will reject the bond and we will leave. Together.”

#acotar #acotar x reader #lucien x reader #lucien vanserra x reader #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #lucien acotar #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #a court of thorns and roses #shadowsinger x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic #lucien fanfic #acotar fluff #acotar angst #vanserra

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cupfullofpapas · 1 month

Text

(Yes I'm reusing this image too busy to doodle a new one :''( life has been super crazy as of late ) Second Vol in The Assistant series: In the arms of a Devil Rated: E F/M Cardinal Copia x F!Reader Papa Emeritus IV x F!Reader

Also read it on my Ao3 here Previous Vol. : The Assistant Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6: Scent Your patience was nearing its end as you stood by the window looking over the ministries garden watching your fellow siblings of sin some tending to the gardens, some sitting below the few trees that offered an abundance of shade, the weather had decided to act right for once and allowed everyone a day outside, you however, decided to stay indoors.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that things were okie dokie they weren't, you missed Copia like hell and your chest ached from it, well it was either that or allergies or perhaps both. You've considered talking to Gemma, the only Prime mover you knew of who had been with her Papa during his touring era.

Each time you went to talk to her you gave yourself excuses not to bother her those excuses now becoming ridiculous.

With everyone outside enjoying the sunny day the Abbey was quiet so you chose to sit in the cafeteria once the walls of your dorm room started to get to you feeling as if they were closing in. Sitting down at one of the many tables with a muffin you had gotten from the kitchen, picking little pieces off of it like an overgrown crab.

Sweet Satan, you felt weird, you never thought you could miss someone this much you didn't even miss Secondo this much when he was out of the office for a long period of time... pausing you frowned, with all that had happened that sounded pretty harsh, being lost in thought you plucked another piece of the muffin popping it into your mouth followed by another.

"Child what's got you down in the dumps?."

The sudden voice made you jump looking up to see Sister Twist looking down at you her hands on her hips concern written all over her face. "Satanas, Twist don't spook me like that." The redhead only shrugged before sitting in the chair across from you the thing giving a slight whine.

"I forgot how cheesy these things were, you'd think with how much Imperator bitches about the budget and cash there would be a stockpile for new cafeteria chairs at least, things look like they're from the fuckin sixties" Twist snickered however when she didn't hear you join in either laughing or ragging on Imperator she knew something was on your mind.

"Hey." Twist snapped her fingers a few times getting your attention. "Talk to me, what's eating at you, and don't say nothing 'cause momma Twist knows." You rolled your eyes before answering. "Just with the tour and all and.." You trailed off looking for the right words. "You miss your man". Your cheeks turned a light shade of red nodding adverting your eyes from the older sister of sin.

"You miss Copia and you feel weird for missing him so much because you've never missed or depended on someone else who wasn't blood-related that and you feel like your heart is being ripped out through your rib cage." You opened your mouth to speak however Twist held up her hand silencing you.

"And even though you still talk to him on the phone or text it feels like it's not enough and yadda yadda." You stayed silent staring at her before uttering a little 'fuck you' which made the older sibling laugh. "There's nothing wrong with feeling this way, it's natural to feel this way when you miss someone you love."

Love, you did love him right?, you remembered the day you told Secondo that you loved him back when he declared his love for you the thought put an uneasy pit in your stomach which caused you to push the muffin aside, why were you even asking yourself this?, you just had teenage phone sex last night with the man. You felt a hand rest on your shoulder Twist wore a kind smile. "You'll know the answer when he comes back, sweetie." You smiled and rested your hand above hers the moment was short-lived as Lenti came running into the cafeteria.

"Twist! Omega, Divine, Alpha, and Terzo are fucking in the music room again!." "Oh for the love of sweet Satan, those fuckers are gonna get a boot up their ass." "Careful they might like that." You chimed in as Twist pushed the chair in heading to the music room complaining the entire way, the last time those four got into it in the music room Pebble's drumset was a casualty and Sister Imperator was furious about having to buy a whole new set for the ghoul. The sound of something hitting the floor and the yelling of Imperator's voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You daft idiots!, Be careful with this equipment it's very important and very expensive!." Getting up from your seat you wandered over to the door seeing that the ghouls were moving a bunch of medical equipment, was someone sick?

"Sister?." you asked stepping from the cafeteria, Imperator turned quickly to face you a smile coming to her face her demeanor changing quickly. "Hello dear." "What's all this?." "It is for Papa Nihil when he gets back from tour with Cardi, don't you worry about it I have everything under control" She offered the fakest of smiles before following the ghouls walking away her red heels clicking and clacking on the floor.

The 'short time apart' felt more like years apart the only good thing that happened in your opinion was that Sister Imperator had given you the option of going back to your old dorm room or staying in the current one alongside Copia given the fact that you two were an item, you of course chose to stay in the shared room one because you did not feel like packing everything up and two once Copia got back you were going to stick to him like glue.

Your day off finally came, the day when you could just lay around your dorm room and not have to worry about anything other than flopping your face into Copia's pillow and breathing in the fleeting scent you hadn't even bothered to change out of your pajamas.

Rolling over in bed you went face-first into the soft depths of your Cardinal's pillow breathing in-- it was then that you realized that his scent was gone from the fabric, you started to think, what could you do? you needed his scent you needed to feel as if he was there, the worry was starting to set in, and then it hit you.. but were you that desperate?

.....Yes, yes you were...

Scooting closer to the edge of his side of the bed you opened the nightstand digging around in the drawer. Sometimes the lack of organization of his personal items got to you and made you want to shake him but on the other hand, it also gave you things to do. While you were on your search you looked at some of the things he had tucked away in there.

A list of numbers, a few unopened juice boxes, several pens, pictures, loose change, and receipts however it wasn't just any receipts they were from the couple nights you and him half-assedly eloped there was even one from the gas station. A smile had worked its way to your face as you looked over each one recounting each item there was also a list there in his scratchy handwriting of things you liked and didn't like, your smile only grew wider as your fingers slid over the indented paper following the pen marks the Chinese menu you both had ordered from.

You remembered when you accidentally launched a shrimp at the television screen that night, the memory earned a quiet laugh, putting the items back you were on the move again until your searching fingers finally found what you were looking for.

Closing the nightstand's drawer you sat up holding a bottle, it was Copia's cologne your thumb ran over the elegant lettering feeling the different textures on the label, after mentally telling yourself how crazy and weird you were several small sprays were sprayed onto his pillow and one on yourself.

The bottle was placed back inside the nightstand drawer, and the pillow now damp with the scent was turned over the damp side against the bed sheet once again you flopped face-first into it this time being hit with the strong scent of your man. You felt your whole body tingle and warm up as soon as you breathed in his scent your skin prickling with goosebumps, it made you giddy picturing Copia there with you tangled up in the blankets enjoying your time together.

It was weird sometimes, how a simple scent could make a body heat up, your thighs squeezed together dulling the throb that started as soon as his scent filled your nostrils, your mind thinking about those hands of his and the way they felt when he slid them along your body and gripped your soft flesh the smooth of the leather. Your hand has started to trace the patterns on your body picturing that they were his fingers, his palms, and you were a willing victim under his expert touches, your Cardinals name was whispered past your lips as your fingertips came to the swell of your pussy lips.

You could picture him there staring down at you, kissing you his fingers teasing you driving you wild, his tongue swirling with yours in the timeless dance of love. You were about to sink your fingers inside of yourself when there was a knock at the door making you halt your actions and look up. Rolling your eyes you stayed quiet maybe if you didn't make a sound whoever it was would just go away thinking that you weren't home, you thought it had worked but there the knocking was again, flopping your pillow over your face you groaned into it before getting up washing your hands and answering the door. Unlocking the handle and deadbolt you opened the door being face to face with Sister Imperator once again at this point you almost swore this woman was stalking you.

"Sister?." You asked doing your best not to sound annoyed. "Evening, I have some-- unfortunate news for you." -------------------------------------------- TAG LIST: Please message me if you would like to be added to the tag list! @thesoundresoundsecho @xpapaemeritus @copiasprincipessa @siouxbauhaus

#the band ghost #ghost #copia #cardinal copia #ghostau #papa emeritus iv #Cardinal Copia x F!Reader #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus iv x reader #Papa Emeritus x F!reader #sister imperator #sister twist #Divine ghoulette #ghoulette oc #ghouls #nameless ghouls #ghost ghouls #unmasked ghouls

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gauloiseblue · 2 months

Text

The Garden

Since that day, he's been seeing her more often. Sometimes on his way to the town, or running into her at the market. Maybe that's the perk of being a neighbor

He also runs more often with Liv—Olivia as he becomes a regular at her bakery

She's already a chatty girl from the start, but after knowing he didn't think of (name) as a bad person, it seemed to increase twofold

She talks a lot about her; what she's like when she first moved, her story about the bakery, how it took 3 years before they became friends, and how she taught her how to make sourdough, because she seemed to have fun making them

There's also heavier stories about her, when the rumors were affecting their friendship, and how long it took her to take down the wall she built, until they could talk like they used to. Though it's no longer there, she did feel like she has changed, and she couldn't do anything about it

One day, the subject of the talk comes to the shop when she's talking to him, and ends up giving her an earful, telling her she shouldn't bother a buyer. But he quickly says he doesn't mind, which earns him a dirty look from her

He wants to believe her, and that his neighbor is simply misunderstood. But he's a rational man, and he'd like to see her from many perspectives before truly believes in her words

The second person who believes her as a good person is Mr. Harris. He talks quite a deal of her, whenever he picks up fresh milk from him

"She's too nice sometimes, it's almost like I'm taking advantage of her kindness."

He tells him the story of the bull, and how he didn't have enough money to buy it from the auction, and he told her about it when she asked him whether he wanted to join the auction or not. Which, to his surprise, she delivered the bull the next day, saying she likes him, but can't possibly keep him, so she gave the bull to him.

He then proceeds to tell him how she loves the cows in his farm, and that he let her named one of the baby cows. He also gave her his products for free, and that he'd share anything his friends gave him to her

There's a lot of people, especially kids who like her. But when it comes to kids, they only like her because she's like a lady santa claus

She'd scold them if they ask for money, or anything for the purpose of showing off. If they genuinely want it, she'll give it to them without many question

But what amuses him, is how they ask for it. They're very straightforward, they'll just ask her if she's really a santa claus, and mention the thing they want. If their answer satisfy her, she'll buy it for them, if not, she'll close the door

The way they told him about her is like telling a legend

As for the adults, they usually thought that she's kind, just reserved

He keeps track of the info, and tries to piece them together. He told himself he's not trying to figure her out, he's just trying to understand her. Though deep in his heart, he knew he said it to justified his actions

Months have passed, and he begins to see a clearer picture. It's likely that her job is related to arts, possibly an artist herself, or a curator, judging by her preference, and how much money she had earned

He also guessed about her status from the lack of a ring in her finger. She might’ve been married at some point, but not anymore. There also aren't many men in the village who take interest in her, even if they do, they won't really do anything about it. Country men avoid scandals like city boys avoiding responsibility

That's what he thought, until he finally saw the gardener

He met him one day, after finishing his morning jog. He saw a young man working on the flowering trees around her garden, and he decided to say hi

He's very attractive, and his eyes still possess a childlike innocence. He almost looks like a small pup, which seems like the complete opposite of her

They talk for a while, before they turn their head towards the door, which is opened before the owner of the garden steps out. She seems surprised to see him talking with the boy, but she welcomes him nevertheless

He didn't miss to see the boy's eye lights up at the sight of her

"Have you had breakfast?" She asked him, and he shook his head, "Do join us, then"

He never really eat after exercise, but he can't resist the offer for a cup of tea

They all settle in the dining room, which has a pretty wine cellar, and extensive collections of liquors. He takes one of them to examine it

"You like to drink?"

"Not really." She replied, "Most of them are just for collection."

"That's a shame," He hums, "It's a good whiskey."

"You may take it if you want."

He turns his head in surprise, "What?"

"Well, you said it's a good whiskey." She looks at him after setting the table

He shakes his head, "It is, but I don’t drink anymore."

She mutters a small 'oh', before taking a seat. The young man follows afterwards before he does

Today's menu seems to include poached eggs and spinach, with yellow sauce on top. The boy quickly digs in, as well as talking about the garden's condition, and anything that crossed his mind

She only gives short answers to all of his babbles, almost as if she's putting a barrier between them. It's even more striking as she mostly keeps her conversation with him, leaving the boy out subtly.

Once the boy finishes, he excuses himself to work for a little bit before going to him. After he leaves the room, he turns his attention to her

"He likes you."

She then groans, "I know, it's giving me headaches."

"Why'd you keep him around, then?"

"It's not like I have a choice."

She begins to tell him about his situation, from the start until now. He likes flowers, but his family didn't have enough space for his hobby, for a reason that they're farmers, and an acre of land can produce a bag's worth of potatoes, so they couldn't really afford wasting it. One day, when he walked on this road, he saw her house with withering trees and decided to knock on the door.

"Of course I couldn't refuse him, I wanted to see the flowers, but I didn't know how." She sighs, "He didn't want to receive any payment from me, so I told him he could buy anything he needed. That's the least thing I can do for him."

"When did you realize he has something for you?" He asked

"I'm not sure." She bit her lips, "I did have my suspicion early on, but after his visits became more frequent for no other reason than meeting me, I knew I was right."

"You gonna do something about it?"

"Maybe. But I wouldn't wish to burn the garden just to push him out of my life." She mused, "He had taken care of them for so long, it'd be cruel of me if I took it away from him."

He rubs his chin as he thinks, "Perhaps you can hire a real gardener to replace him?"

"I'll think about it." She leans back on her chair, "It's a shame, though. It's nice to have him around."

"Then don't do anything about it. Let it happen."

She laughs as she catches what he means, "I don't think it's appropriate for me to do."

She talks about his desire to go to a business school, so he could expand the business once he takes over. But his parents can't really afford it, so he decided not to pursue it. She then encouraged him to apply for a scholarship, and helped him to get it, which was a success. Now he's in the 2nd years

"No wonder he likes you." He commented

"He shouldn't be." She frowns, "I'm almost the same age as her mother, he shouldn't have any feelings towards me."

"Well, that's because you don't look like one."

She lets out a small laugh, "I'm flattered, thank you."

They talk for a bit, before he excuses himself. On the way out of her garden, he finds the boy working on the potted plants, before they both hear a song softly plays from one of the windows

The boy smiles as he tugs on the withered leaves, and all of the sudden, a single thought strikes him

He doesn't love the garden. He loves the owner

《 Prev | Next 》

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #captain price #john price x reader #price x reader

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mathanlin · 9 months

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// unintentional neglect, injury, car accidents

Hybrid/Foster AU where elytrian!Tommy, an endangered species, is fostered by the closest related species — avians.

Except there's a few... key differences between them. *Important* differences.

But Tommy's not going to make a fuss about it.

For one, he's weaker. More fragile.

It's clear from his first shopping trip with the Watsons, arms shaking under the weight of bags of clothes & toys. Things he didn't expect (or deserve).

Phil even offers to carry them. Tommy lets him.

And regrets it, just a week later.

"Why can't Tommy help?"

Wilbur's face is pinched, a crate of gardening tools in his arms, glaring at Tommy who's hunched on the back step.

And it pinches more when Phil waves him off.

"He's not strong enough, mate. Let him relax."

It's true. Elytrian's bones are hollower, their muscles thinner, their wings larger & harder to balance.

But only one of those differences is visible. And with how endangered elytrians are, there's little research for the Watsons to find.

They only know what Tommy tells them.

"Could I go fencing with you?"

Techno pauses at the door, fencing bag in hand. Tommy fidgets, clutching the wall to counterbalance his wings, desperately wishing, *Please let me spend time with you.*

"I don't think so. Dad said you're fragile—"

"That's a myth."

Techno pauses, and Tommy's heart soars.

"A myth?"

"Yeah," Tommy squeezes out. "We're... pretty much just avians with bigger wings. We're the same."

(A tiny part of him whispers, *We can be brothers.*)

The best (worst) part is, Techno believes him. Just like that.

And he's gentle when he takes jabs at Tommy with the training rapier, even helps him up no matter how many times he topples to the mat.

(Not gentle enough — for an elytrian, that is. Tommy's covered in bruises.)

But it's better than being left at 'home.'

Supper that night is perfect (even if the Watson's herbivore diet doesn't quite nourish an elytrian.) Tommy laughs like he's one of them. Like he's family.

And he's swiftly reminded when Wilbur corners him after.

"You lied to us."

Tommy goes still. (Not fight-or-flight, like an avian. Just... freezing.)

'You lied.' Maybe Wilbur knows about the bruises beneath Tommy's sweater (special-made for his sensitive skin. *Expensive.*) Maybe... maybe he's going to offer to help—

"You're not *weak.*"

"What?"

Tommy's whisper does nothing to calm the fury on Wilbur's face.

"You could've helped Dad unpack. You could do chores. But you're lying, so you can fucking— *sit around.*"

Tommy flinches. He wants to speak, but mind frenzied with fear & pain, only a clicking warble comes out.

An apology.

Wilbur's eyes widen as he reels back, suddenly silent.

And then he sneers, all curled lips and bared teeth.

"For fuck's sake, Tommy. Fine. I see how it is."

(But he doesn't. Neither of them do.

The clicking warble? An apology, in elytrian. A plea only used in utter desperation.

And in avian... a sound of scorn. Revulsion at even being *around* someone.

And Wilbur takes that to heart.

Maybe Tommy never belonged with them anyways.)

"When we get home, I'm telling dad."

Tommy's head snaps up, meeting Wilbur's eyes in the rearview mirror. The twins had picked him up from school, after Tommy'd fallen ill (yet again). A lie, Wilbur thinks.

And now he, too busy sneering at Tommy, swerves off the road.

It could've been worse.

The car could've flipped twice, not just once. There could've been fire, not just warning smoke.

But two out of three people in that car are fine, wings flailing as they dangle — bruises, scraped feathers, a bit shaken up.

One's *not* fine.

"Just unbuckle the fucking seatbelt, Tommy."

It's a good thing Wilbur's screaming. Tommy wouldn't have been able to hear him otherwise, ears ringing in agony.

Wrist. Ribs. Chest. They all burn, like the marks from fencing with Techno.

But these aren't bruises.

He passes out before the twins even touch him, fighting to drag his too-large wings through the shattered window.

Strange, that the last thing he remembers is Wilbur shouting, "He can get out himself, Techno."

And the first thing he hears upon waking is, "He could've *died.*"

It's Phil yelling. Tommy drifts, head buried in a hospital pillow.

"He had a fucking seatbelt," Wilbur yells back. "He should've been fine."

"He's *fragile,* Wil—"

"No, he fucking *lied* about that, Dad."

Silence. Enough to hear Tommy's heartbeat monitor, chirping far too slow.

"Lied?" Phil says quietly.

"He— he's not *weak.* He's just as strong as an avian, he's not made of fucking glass and we don't have to *coddle* him. He lied to—"

"Does this look like a lie to you?"

It's only then that Tommy manages to open his eyes, breath shuddering as he tries to force air into the broken cage of his ribs.

And the first thing he does warble an apology towards Wilbur.

Or, how it sounds to avians, pure scorn.

"*See?*"

Phil & Techno blink, expressions faltering.

But unlike Wilbur, who jumps to betrayed indignation (and... maybe just a little pain), they pause.

And gently clarify.

"What does that mean, mate?"

"It means I'm... 'm sorry?"

Wilbur goes still, understanding creeping across his face (slowly, slowly realizing that Tommy'd only lied to be loved).

But only he only freezes for a second. After all, he's an avian.

And when they're afraid (...ashamed, horrified, and broken with guilt)?

They choose flight.

At least Phil & Techno stay.

At least they listen when Tommy finds the air to speak, explaining himself — the truth, for once. They hold him as he sobs, hurting his shattered ribs that much more.

At least they tell the truth.

"When you're healed, we want you to come home."

(And at that home, Wilbur waits.

He'd immediately moved every single one of his nest's blankets & pillows to Tommy's room. Hell, he even bought *more.*

He forces his guilt-ridden tears to stop, only so he can do some research. *Elytrian* research.

He won't let Tommy lie anymore — that's stayed the same.

But now, it's out of a desperate, broken love, revealed the moment that car crashed and Wilbur quietly prayed, *Please let my brothers be okay.*

He won't let anything hurt Tommy.

Not anymore.)

#mcyt #dsmp #dsmp au #sbi #threadfic #sbi au #tommyinnit #technoblade #wilbur soot #philza

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miwhotep · 3 months

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I'm writing fanfics on Milverton for a while now, mostly concentrating on his human side (well, his relationship with Ruskin) and related to this, I also wandered a lot what does he like to do when he is not blackmailing/tempting others to sin.

So I collected some little things from the manga what Milverton seems to like.

1, Flowers

We can see flowers in vases at his London home - I'm sure it's his household staff what put them there, but I doubt they would do it without their employer's order. Milverton also keeps a plant in his home study. Besides, lot of from his decorations are flower-themed: his safe, his wallpaper both at his home and his office.

2, Nature

In his London house, he has a big, beautiful garden and his manor in Brighton is far away from town - for safety purposes, too, of course, since he likes keeping this place a secret, but also, his house is deep in the forest, with lot of trees around it and a perfect view to the sea. He surely likes to come here sometimes to rest, away from the busy capital.

3, Books

He keeps lot of books in both at his London manor and Brighton residence and since he keeps his company documents separated from them, those books are most likely for his own enjoyment - he surely likes to read in his free time (while drinking tea, as we can see it in the Whiteley meeting scene).

4, Art

In his Brighton residence, he has a Pallas Athene statue on his cupboard (like his canon counterpart at the Conan Doyle story) and he also has paintings on his wall (about nature, not humans being tortured). And during his Bible explaining session, we see paintings as illustrations - don't forget, this is not just for to look good in the manga, this is a look into Milverton's mind, why he does what he does. He most likely got inspired and think on that painting a lot (the painting is The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun by a poet/artist William Blake). Milverton seems to be a well-cultured man, interested in art.

+ Strawberry

Yeah, it's just from the omake, but there, Milverton does admit his favorite food is strawberry (giving us, the very few, but dedicated Milvey fans, a well of unfailing ideas and inspiration). And this is totally not something you would expect to hear from a dangerous blackmailer.

Beside his evil hobbies, Milverton seems to have a more sensitive side to him, he is also an art- and nature-loving bookworm who likes beautiful and peaceful sights, too, not just sin. I'm sad that we only got glimpses from his human side - but it's still there, offscreen.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #charles augustus milverton

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hekateinhell · 1 year

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Armand, having his priorities in order and being highly relatable in TVA:

I looked off, wanting the quiet, dreaming of bowers suddenly, not in words but in images, the way my old mind would do it, wanting to lie down in garden beds among growing flowers, wanting to press my face to earth and sing softly to myself.

"They could see nothing green here, and it's spring outside, southern spring. I can smell it through the walls. I want to look just for a moment on flowers. To kill, to drink blood and to have flowers."

I also love anything that tells us about the way Armand processes the world (i.e., how his 'old mind' used to think in images only). We know the 'Marius & The Flowers' chapter in PL and his gardens in B&G pretty well, but flower imagery and symbolism actually come up quite a bit with Armand also throughout TVC.

The rather erotic illusion he projects to Lestat in TVL:

Hell and heaven, or both made one, vampires in a paradise drinking blood from the very flowers that hung, pendulous and throbbing, from the trees. I felt a wave of disgust. It was as if he [Armand] had come into my private dreams like a succubus.

Perhaps my favorite, the mental garden he creates for Daniel in QotD as the last thing he'll ever be able to share with him through their telepathic connection:

Their voices carried over the garden. Such roses and chrysanthemums, how enormous they were. And light poured from the doorways of the Villa of the Mysteries. Was there music playing? Why, the whole ruined place was brilliantly illuminated under the incandescent blue of the night sky.

"So you would have me break my vow. You would have what you think you want. But look well at this garden, because once I do it, you'll never read my thoughts or see my visions again. A veil of silence will come down."

"But we'll be brothers, don't you see?" Daniel asked.

Armand stood so close to him they were almost kissing. The flowers were crushed against them, huge drowsing yellow dahlias and white gladioli, such lovely drenching perfume. They had stopped beneath a dying tree in which the wisteria grew wild. Its delicate blossoms shivered in clusters, its great twining arms white as bone.

Armand in TVA describing the disintegration of his relationship with Daniel as he saw it, with love as something that blooms like a flower (and something that sometimes fails to do so):

There was never any innocence for us, there was never any springtime. There was never any chance, no matter how beautiful the twilight gardens in which we wandered. Our souls were out of tune, our desires crossed and our resentments too common and too well watered for the final flowering.

#i'll have more to say on armand and flowers later just putting a pin in this #vc #the vampire chronicles #armand #lestat de lioncourt #daniel molloy #armand/lestat #armand/daniel #quotes

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9800sblog · 8 months

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yunho tarot reading

public persona vs real personality

do i have his energy permission to do and share this reading? ace of swords, 6 of pentacles

it's no wonder mingi and yunho are close friends, their personalities are incredibly similar!

persona

heavy, intimidating persona, specially because of ateez' concept. as often, his persona depends a lot on what's being asked of him, what type of content he's making. in general, yunho likes to present as someone who is self composed and reliable, traditional to please the elders yet sexy to please the youngers. he brings extensive power to performances and photoshoots, he likes to look scary sometimes as it's part of the concept. for entertainment purposes, yunho seems to think that the weirder the better, literal self humiliation came through in the cards, he likes to act as an annoying young brother to be funny. this also implies that the person he is on camera is intrinsically different from the person he is in private. he comes up as someone who is welcoming and warm, open to all types of people and non-judgmental. he is definitely a protector of those he sees suffering, as he himself has no problems, no issues and nothing that ever bothers him (🤥). yunho doesn't talk to other celebrities unless he's working with them, I don't think he cares about making friends based on status. I literally got the 3 of cups reversed amongst other cards for this section, he may not relate to the celebrity lifestyle/social life, and just not talk to anyone in a substantial or significant way. conversations seem superficial, like small talk about their job and the weather haha with fans, it's the very classic, tired thing of being obsessed with everyone of them all the time. he follows along to what each fan expects and plays a part/character, specially pretending to be romeo and juliette, "forbidden love" thing. he seems to be quite apathetic about this, this is the heaviest part of the reading, bringing some anxiety and headaches, the cards indicate boredom and a lack of care, it's just his job he don't care, but he may find it embarrassing and laugh at himself sometimes kkkkkkk oh the things we gotta do for money, like calling ourselves a dog

personality

oh yunho is very childlike, he may feel that he's growing up too slowly and doesn't feel like an adult. he can get often distracted and scared, needs someone to protect him from himself in a way. he can be quite self-centered and he doesn't try to be like everybody else, yunho is the type to figure out what works for him personally and go for that with confidence. he can also get vindictive, jealous and when he gets angry it can be extra scary or destructive as he's usually such an easy-going and nice guy (as I know tumblr, this doesn't mean that he beats up walls or people, he may just cut people off or cuss, I know this app loves drama). friends are a big part of yunho's life, he likes to be a leader instead of a follower, decide where they're hanging out, what they're doing, etc (peep yunho and mingi's entire dynamic haha) he prefers having a small number of honest and soulful friendships than an army of followers who only know his name and status. yunho enjoys all sorts of activities with friends, as long as they're together, he doesn't mind, they just gotta match. he enjoys sitting in a garden talking about his feelings as much as he enjoys pretending to be superheroes in a loud bar. his current friendgroup is probably filled with people he's known all or most of his life. yunho seems to hold intense gratitude towards his family, these are the people that know him the best, he'd never deny that. the ones that protect him and make him feel safe to be himself, he doesn't hide his emotions or pretend to be anything around them, he tends to just rest and do nothing around them, unproductive. some of what he considers family may not be blood relatives, found family. he rests by doing absolutely nothing and has fun by doing a lot, he enjoys things that test his morality and explore his psyche, also likes to live vicariously through others, watching stuff (tv, gameplay, youtube, sports, etc), hearing stories (podcasts, books, music, etc) or playing games. he likes the things that shake him up and bother him a bit, bring him out of himself comfort zone while still standing in comfort. when he's alone, he's just lazy, may lack direction and go into survival mode, aka only care about eat, sleep and poop. he may often distract himself to escape boredom by doing many things at once, he likes intense videogames and he may be the type to listen to music, while reading and eating at the same time. he may find his casual, alone self to be boring and try harder to be interesting when in public, he seems nervous about his identity, not in a worrying way, but in a "young adult who is naturally still growing his confidence and sense of self" way. he's also an incredibly supportive and giving person, he would literally die/kill for those he loves and would give away his own house if they needed one. yunho seems like the opposite of materialistic, but he still cares a lot about the quality of what he surrounds himself with, it seems that even when alone he's still trying hard to be a good artist, rehearsing and working beyond the hours requested and alone, he really loves art. he also seems really weird when he's alone, talking to himself, making himself laugh, he may like to prank people too. I'd describe his energy in the private section of the reading as a magical healing starry heart, he's innocent and just genuinely really nice.

#ateez tarot #ateez #kpop tarot #tarot #celebrity tarot #yunho #free tarot

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aurathian · 4 months

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Dawn to Dusk: 2. Dusk

AO3 | Written for @zelinktines24 #13: dusk. Reblogs appreciated if you enjoy :) Fandom: Twilight Princess

Ship: Link/Zelda

Rating: G

Summary: It is dawn when she leaves, but it is dusk when she brings them together.

Read below or on AO3.

Many dawns had passed since that day the princess of Hyrule spent in Arbiter’s Grounds where her family had so long ago banished its prisoners. Zelda had taken many baths since then in an attempt to clean herself of the dirt and dust and blood–and sin–from that dark place, but it would be something she’d carry with her forever. Sometime between now and then she had formally greeted Link as he arrived at the castle with all his belongings: a humble bag filled with his few clothes and sentimental knicknacks from Ordon. He promised to show her them later. Now, he lived in the castle and was preparing to serve on her counsel and advise her in national military matters. Link was not only a good fighter, but profoundly smart, and had good relations with many of Hyrule’s peoples. He would be a valuable asset to her court, her kingdom, and–though she would not admit–her sanity.

On most nights, when the sun had just set and the sky was that ominous shade of blue-purple, and dusk veiled the land, Zelda stayed inside by the fireplace in her room, knitting or reading or looking over papers or doing anything to distract herself. If she could survive the twilight, she would see tomorrow. She kept her curtains drawn and turned the clock on the mantle around so that there was not even an allusion to the time of day present.

Midna was nearest at this hour, the rims of their worlds barely grazing the other, but never did they overlap because only the mirror would allow such a feat. The mirror which shattered with a single teardrop. Princess Zelda figured that she shattered with it, too. What was the Twilight Princess doing right now? Such a thought plagued Zelda’s mind frequently. Did Midna ever wonder about her or Link? Perhaps she was too occupied with her own people to spare even a moment for them, but somewhere deep within her heart Zelda hoped.

That night, just before the sun dipped below the horizon and she was reminded of all things horrible and gone, the princess gripped the edge of her curtains and stared out at Hyrule Field, a sprawling landscape colored a deep blue from the coming night. There was life out there, even in the twilight. Birds and bugs and wild animals and even people, hurrying to find their way to shelter, things unaffected by the hour in which day and night blended together. Maybe Zelda could be one of them.

She left her curtains open and exited her quarters.

Clicking the door shut softly behind her, she didn’t care that she was in a nightgown. Many of the servants had gone down to their chambers for the night and the only remaining people in the halls were the guards, sworn to secrecy about any “funny business” (as Ashei would put it) they witnessed from the princess, their soon-to-be queen.

Something was tugging her along down those winding halls and spiral staircases. It took her hand, gentle and warm, and led her outside. Zelda paused at the door to the gardens, hand hovering over the knob. Part of her wanted to turn around and go back to her bed, but something–or someone–was out there, waiting. In her wildest dreams she hoped it was Midna.

She stepped outside with her eyes closed, and then opened them. The last bits of golden light were receding behind the garden wall. It was warm, a soft summer breeze ruffling the hedges and the leaves of the trees. There were no specks of twilight in the air, those dark bits that had lingered all around for so long that she had forgotten what the world looked like without them.

Something else plagued her mind as she walked. Did Link take to the twilight well? He never spoke of it around her even though they were more open than when they first met. One night, they ate dinner together in the great hall with all of the curtains shut and candles illuminating the room. He did not ask why. They spent that night talking about anything and everything that came to mind, from the stray cats of Castle Town to the strange chicken flying game at Lake Hylia (which Link suggested she should give a try, but she laughed it off and hid her quiet fear that he would one day bring her there). The Hero of Twilight recounted some of the grandest tales from his adventure to the most mundane, and it was in the mundane that his eyes lit up.

“Twilight is quiet,” he had said. “It was twilight when it was the most peaceful.”

Twilight is quiet. She focused on this, calming her mind and beginning to discover the same peace as she paced through the gardens. It was only her and the flowers and the wind and her breathing.

It had been a long while since Zelda walked these gardens. She could see them from her tower but they were covered in a thick fog and she’d imagined all the greenery had shriveled up and died anyway. Did Midna have gardens like these in her realm? Perhaps there were strange breeds of flora that bloomed only there, and the petals were fiery like her hair and stems pale blue like her skin.

The light had faded from the sky now, only the moon shining down on her path. It led her to one of her favorite spots since she was a child: a stone bench situated underneath a great weeping willow who swayed with the breeze. She froze at the sight of a silhouette sitting on her bench.

“I’m sorry,” it said, hurriedly standing. “I didn’t mean to…”

Her shoulders relaxed at the sight of her Hero, Link. He came into the pale moonlight dressed down in a white shirt and brown pants. When he arrived at the castle he had worn his green tunic, but now he preferred to leave it in his closet. Perhaps for similar reasons as to why she would shut her curtains all the time.

“No, stay,” she sighed, moving to the bench and sitting down amongst the hanging, swaying leaves.

“I’m intruding,” he argued. He was backing away from her now and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I insist. I would quite like your company.” The princess patted the spot next to her where he had been sitting only moments before, and he approached, though hesitantly. Slowly he lowered himself beside her. “Do you come out here often?”

He shook his head. He was quite handsome without that silly hat, Zelda thought. Not that he wasn’t handsome with it, but– well– she stopped thinking about it before she could fluster herself and inspire a blush on her cheeks.

“Not usually. But tonight I wanted to. Like something… never mind.”

Like something brought him here, she finished in her head. She smiled knowingly. Silence lingered between them then, as it usually had when they would rendezvous, but more and more Zelda didn’t find it awkward or uncomfortable. They could say everything they needed to in that silence, looking either at each other or something far off. That silence was always about the same thing, the same person. Zelda wondered if there would ever be a day where that silence could be about each other.

“I used to come here often,” she softly spoke. “Almost every night, starting since I was a little girl. I used to watch the stars until a guard on patrol caught me and made me go inside. Then I would just watch them out of my window.” Her gaze turned from him to the ground. “I don’t think I can look at the stars anymore.”

“We are very similar,” Link said. “I watched them on the ranch, you watched them here… do you think…” he trailed off and looked away before inhaling. “Do you think Midna watches them too?”

To hear her name was like being punched in the gut. Neither had spoken it since that morning in the Arbiter’s Grounds, even when they alluded to her in conversations or in meaningful eye contact. But, wiping away the tear that had slid down her cheek, it was wrong to leave her name there in that desert prison. To speak it here was to free it from that place of death. To speak it was to remember.

Zelda looked up at the sky through the branches of the weeping willow and the stars shone more brilliantly than she could ever remember. That warm, guiding hand that had brought her here–perhaps it was Midna from the other side of that starry sky.

“Yes,” Zelda breathed. “Yes, and I think she brought me here. To you.” Her eyes met his.

Softly, Link said, “I think she brought me here too.”

Gently, his hand found hers on the bench, more than the accidental grazing of fingertips they would have walking the halls, more than the shy eye contact they made, more than their shared silences. Turning her hand over, she gave his a squeeze.

It was dusk when Midna brought them together. To calm herself, Zelda focused only on this. It was dusk when she and her Hero first held hands. It was dusk when for the first time in ages, they knew everything would be alright.

#zelinktines #zelinktines24 #zelinktines 24 #zelink #zelda #link #midna #twilight princess #loz tp #legend of zelda #angst #angst with a happy ending #my writing

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otaku-tyriq · 3 months

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Because someone already asked those questions about your fav anime/manga, can I ask your top 5 favorite western animations (can be movies or series)? Why love them?

Certainly you can dear anon ^7^

So some of my favourite western animations of all time include

1) Tangled

Why do I love it so much? Well it has been my absolute comfort movie since I was like 10 years old and watched this movie in theatres with my older sister. I also highly relate to Rapunzel, both due to her personality and her experiences with Mother Gothel. Also to this day I fully stand by the believe that Flynn/Eugene and Rapunzel’s relationship is the single most romantic and beautifully written Disney couple in this studio’s entire history. Lastly: THE ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS! And I think few people understand just how ground breaking this movie was in terms if 3D animation as back then animating hair, and most importantly that amount of hair that Rapunzel has, was a nightmare to animate in 3D, so the Studio had to essentially come up with an entirely new animation program specifically for the protagonist’s hair to move around in a natural way.

2) Lego Monkie Kid

Created by the Australian Studio Flying Bark Productions, the same Studio behind Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, this show means EVERYTHING to me. Because one thing rarely talk about on Tumblr: I am OBSESSED with Mythology. Greek Mythology, Roman, Mythology, Yoruba Mythology, Chinese Mythology, Norse Mythology etc. you name it. Like my bookshelf is nothing but Manga, history books and an astronomical amount of mythology and fairytale books. The show follows MK a hyper and optimistic boy as he is chosen to be the Monkey King Sun Wukong’s successor and learning to be a hero. So as you may have gathered this show is not only inspired by chinese mythology but essentially it’s equivalent of what Percy Jackson is to Greek Mythology. What I adore the most about this show are its characters and the GORGEOUS ANIMATION! I swear the fighting animation especially in this cartoon is smoother than butter!

3) The Owl House

Aka "What if Harry Potter was not written by a biggot”. If you’ve seen the pinned post on my blog, you know that Lumity is one of my absolute favourite sapphic ships. But honestly this ship is only the peak of the iceberg for why i adore this show. The beautiful artstyle, Luz’s character arc over the course of the show, EDA SIMPLY EXISTING AND BEING FANTASTIC, the beautiful world building and magic system, Emperor Beloz being an absolute irredeemable asshole in the most entertaining and bone chilling way. Srsly if you can dear Anon, give this show a watch.

4) Infinity Train

An Anthology Series who up until recently you could watch on Max HBO. This show is both delightfully funny and absolutely gut-wrenching and dark. The show essentially follows on a new set of characters each season who all end up getting trapped on a train with an infinite number of cars and they cannot leave the train until they essentially come to terms with and/or face some sort of trauma or other psychological issue they may be struggling with.

And as you may have guessed those themes of working through psychological issues is something that my mentally ill ass highly relates to. Not to mention these are some of the most well handled depictions of mental illnesses in animation i have seen in years. Especially given the show was originally targeted towards children and teenagers. I cannot recommend this show enough.

5) Nimona & Over the Garden Wall

I know you asked for only Top 5 Favourite western Animations but I seriously could not decide which one I prefered so they gotta share the spot. Hope you don’t mind 😊.

Starting with Nimona: I mean what else is there to say about Nimona that has not been said before? Fantastic and unique world building? Check. Absolute comedy gold? Check. Openly Queer characters? Check. Said characters also being absolutely loveable? Check. A heartfelt message for both adults and children? CHECK. Seriously this movie is just gorgeous and on Youtube FOR FREE! Like there is nothing stopping you from watching it right this instant.

Now onto Over the Garden Wall: I come from a country where we don’t typically celebrate Halloween. So due to a lack of direct cultural ties to Halloween I never truly had any super strong interest in Halloween movies and never had the urge around October to bundle up in a blanket and watch those classic Halloween movies and shows, like some of my friends do. The most I did was carve pumpkins with my sister and drink hot cocoa cuz it’s genuinly fun. Until this Mini Series came along. The atmosphere just absolutely perfectly manages to capsulate the feeling of autumn and the eeriness of that season. Far more than any other Halloween Classic in my humble opinion. Also again I’m a huge mythology Nerd and this show is basically Dante’s Inferno for children in very weird way. But yes ever since this show had come out I instantly rewatch it the second the leaves start to fall outside.

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1117feverlessdreams · 10 months

Text

Mr.Write 📝 Right: Chapter 2

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Masterlist

☑️🤍A/N: This chapter is a lot more lengthier than the first. But I tried to keep it interesting, so if you could please read it until the end!

☑️🤍Genre: Slow burn, Romance, Fantasy, Comedy, Drama.

☑️🤍Word count: 14.7k

☑️🤍Warnings: Self Sabotage, Struggles of Self Confidence, Mentions of smut, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mentions of Bullying, Trauma, Sexist/Misogynist Boss! Masturbation, and Language.

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Upon walking into the library it was cold, empty, and dim. Wouldn't it be too late for the library to be open? Why isn’t anyone here?

The feeling of being out of place was overwhelming when you looked down at yourself.

You were still wearing your silk two-piece pajama set. (which you felt both sexy and aroused in during your reading sessions)

But wearing it here in the library?

You wouldn’t dare.

This must be one of your exotic dreams, but it is in a library of all places. It is a place where you can obtain sex filled romance novels, but it is not an ideal location to engage in any sexual activity whatsoever.

In most cases, these dreams are related to a story that you have read. The problem is, you did not recall reading any sexually explicit material prior to going to sleep about a library.

Yet, you did have a particular individual in mind, envisioning him as the male protagonist of your story, but he hasn't appeared in any of your dreams.

It would be a simple matter to include him in your daydreams, but in a dream, for some reason, it proved to be more difficult.

There was something quite ominous about the darkness, and the fact that you were the only one in it made it worse. There is still a trauma associated with what happened in the bathroom at that party when you weren’t alone in the dark.

It is possible for anyone to come out of nowhere and take advantage of your weakness, without you being aware of what is taking place.

Therefore, your first step is to snoop around to locate the chatty librarian at the front desk and report to them. It was only them that you would speak to every week you had come here, perhaps they could inform you of what the hell was happening.

Aside from the scanner on top of the tall counter, there is nothing else to be seen on the except for a bell that had been placed there to request customer service.

You tap repeatedly on the crown of the bell in an attempt to summon them to the desk. An electric flicker and a buzz are heard, and then a beam of light appears, illuminating the room, but still leaving the things closest to the walls in shadow.

While turning away slowly from the front desk, you notice that an overhead light is illuminated on the romance fiction that you are drawn to so frequently.

Walking forward among the wooden flooring made the planks creak underneath the stutter in your movements. You look over to the double doors to the entrance in case of need for escape, but it’s cut off by a bunch of bookshelves you didn’t see before.

As you look everywhere else it was the same. It was as if everything around you had been cut off by the bookshelves and tables that walled you in towards the open entrance of the section.

Now you only have the option of entering with a new sense of fear. You moved underneath the overhead light, you could see everything in close proximity and it made you fell safe.

The atmosphere changed once a tall muscular silhouette emerged from behind the shelf on the opposite side from which you entered, and vanished into the shadows near the walls while reading a book with a lowered head.

It forcefully closes the book shut and makes a silhouette makes a mesmerizing "Hmmm" sound. It turns and makes eye contact with you and your stomach churns in fear. Stumbling backward, you are confronted with another bookshelf that used to be the entrance to the section.

Even though they scare the living- no dreaming shit out of you, somehow there’s have an odd familiarity about them.

Your feet are frozen to the ground as the figures walk forth slowly into the light. The first thing that is revealed about them are their feet, which are dressed in black pointed dress shoes, followed by their black jeans, their black dress shirt, and finally their face.

Surely you can be mistaken when the white hair, round silver glasses and pearl earrings that are all to familiar to you appear.

“Hongjoong?!”

There he was, in all his glory, in your actual dreams for the first time rather than in the ones you force yourself to daydream about. The same black outfit he wore on your last coffee date, which you are not quite sure was a date, was the outfit you gushed over the previous time you had seen him.

“Why do you act so surprised in seeing me love? Am I not all what you think about these days?” He inches forward he drags his single black fingernail painted hand along the array of hard books on the shelf, and pauses right in front of you.

In normal circumstances, you would melt at the mention of the nickname, but with him taking up residence in your dreams, everything felt surreal and overwhelming. So much to the point you couldn’t even get any words out.

“No, this isn’t real. You, you’re not real.” You think in your mind.

“That may be be true, but tell me that I’m wrong. Why would I be here, in your dreams?”

What the fuck, he can read my thoughts? But wait he is my thoughts. Why is he here now, when I have thought about him all this time?

“Isn’t this not what you have been wanting? Me to appear in your dreams and unleash your rush of desires onto me the only way you can in this fantasy?”

Unable to still speak from your mouth due to shock you continue to think in your head.

"Yes, this what I've always desired. My soul longs for you and I crave you so badly. In every book I read, in every fiction I enjoy online, in every vibrator that touches my pussy, I think about you constantly. It's sort of scary, however, because it's not the setting I imagined it to be.”

"I understand this love, so do not be scared. I do not intend to hurt you, in fact I want to do the complete opposite of you let me. You wanna change the setting? Let me fix that for you.”

With the snap of his fingers, candles appear atop the shelves around the perimeter of the room.A breeze of wind causes flames to enlighten the wicks of the candle. It is still dim in the room, but you can now make out everything in the light. Somehow, everything is back in its original place again.

“How’s that my love? Better?”

Outwardly, you nod your head but on the inside of your mind you say, “Yes much better thank you so much.”

The pleasure is mine...now how would you like to feel the pleasure directly?”

Furrowing your brows in confusion you look intensely at the candles reflecting into his silver trimmed circle glasses. This time you find the courage to speak aloud. “What? Do you mean…”

“Yes my love that is exactly what I mean. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks haven’t you? Tell me what you want.”

Looking down at his hands you admire the one black painted fingernail in which you have yet to decipher its meaning. “I-I want your fingers inside of me.”

With another snap of his fingers your laid on the table he used to type away at his laptop in before you told him that awful lie about it bring in risk of getting stolen. “I’m gonna touch you now yeah?”

Nodding your head, “Yes, please do.” you say it aloud.

“Good girl, keep that up and you might just get greatly rewarded.”

Your spinne shivers against the cold wooden frame as he cascades his hands along your silk top to where you need him most. He takes his stumpy thick thumb and run tentatively at your clitoris.

It’s that moment where you let out a whine when he takes away his thumb. “Please, I need you.”

He lets out a chuckles before reaching his hand in the air. A snap rings out throughout the whole library and you feel a breeze. You look down to see that your pajama bottoms are completely removed. But no, you feel really bare, and you don’t wear underwear before you sleep so that means…

“Oh your pussy is prettier than I could’ve ever imagined it to be my love.”

You immediately close your legs in embarrassment, but your thighs are so wet it makes it difficult to keep them that way when their slipping in precum.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything that just means your ready for me to take you like the slut you are.”

It’s hard you to think nor speak in response to what he just said. At your silence, he starts rubbing up and down your folds collecting your wetness.

“Awe is all of this just for me love? You get this wet before I even laid a finger on you darling?”

Nodding your head frantically, you stutter out a “Yes, it’s all because of you Hongjoong. I become so fucking soaked. Do you know how many pairs of underwear you ruined from me thinking about you at work?”

He chuckles at he works at rubbing your folds at a steady pace making you wetter by the second. You can feel a pool of it that was once warm, cool underneath your ass. “Too many to count. You ready baby?”

Bringing up one of your hands to tweak at one of your nipples, you bite your lip as you grant him an approving nod. “I’m so ready for you Hongjoong.”

With a smirk creeping slowly on his face, he makes eye contact and his glasses lower newt the tip of his nose. Your desperate expression appears on your face as you tweek at your nipple and the teasing of his slender digits.

“Well let’s not waste anymore time.”

He surely doesn’t because his fingers dive so quickly into your cunt you didn’t have the time to prepare yourself. Even more so, he starts off at such a fast pace that it has your hips moving up from the table.

“F-fuck joongie that feels so good.” He pushes your hips back down and work faster “Try to keep still like a obedient little slut.”

It feel so good that you have to hold your breath just to focus solely on the feeling the tip of his index and middle. The tip of them hit that spongy spit in your pussy every time.

“Ah fuck right there joongie, make me come!” He pulls out his soaked digits and work feverishly on your swollen clit.

After chuckling deeply, he responds, "Well, all you need to do is wake up."

You stare at him confused, “wait where-

“Sweet dreams, my love.” and then in a sudden snap of his fingers the candles blow out the room into darkness.

While gasping for air you wake up and continue the action of working at your clit and you cum hard, shaking against your warm bedded sheets.

A moment later, you sit there quietly staring at the ceiling while slowly absorbing everything that had just occurred. This weekend your imagination had been working over time with him as its boss, but now he has taken full control.

Blinking slowly, you regain full consciousness to realize that your alarm has been going off for the past fifteen minutes. Upon actually waking up, you move onto your side to sit up and hit the snooze button.

It was when you looked down on your white sheets that you noticed the dark gray, wet spot you dreamed about was on the table. Your shorts that he magically snapped off are on the edge of the bed, and your nipples are erect and red from you toying with them.

Never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined that a dream could be so surreal. It was as if he was right in front of you giving you an unexplainable pleasure, but it was actually you masturbating in the real world.

Then another reality of having to go to work crosses your mind when you hear another alarm breaking you out if your trance. A back up alarm you had when you were still dreaming.

If you didn’t hear any alarms, you could’ve gotten the pleasure you wanted from him.

Throwing your sheets in your all in one washer and dryer, which was very expensive but thanks to your job you could afford it. It was great use in times like these where you make a huge mess.

No soon after you do your morning routine and take a much needed shower to wash off all the dirt of your imagination in which your bound to heavily regret later when your stuck at work.

It’s a Monday and you usually hate Mondays because your reading 24/2 marathon has to come to an end. But this Monday, you feel very refreshed and relieved.

The man you have daydreamed made it into the night. Dreams where your mind does everything for you and not solely by yourself.

Before slipping on your uniform, you put on a pantry liner for extra “spillage”. You expected for the work day to be long, and with that dream recurring on your mind, you’ll fall behind for sure.

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Your assumptions were right, because when you settle in the seat in your private office to start on work as soon as possible, your womanizing boss opens the door. “Hey y/n, can I speak to you for a moment?”

The way he stood there with your door wide open indicates that he wanted you to go to his office, but you know what goes off behind close doors to most of the women who enter.

Nonetheless you force yourself to agree, you just have to make sure he goes in before you do. “Of course sir.” Luckily, he leaves the door open for you to follow him out of your office.

As you walk across the hall two doors down to the location of his office, you try and make contact with someone around the computer lab to see if they were watching you walk behind your boss so they’d know where you were off something were to happen.

None of them, you realize, are even glancing anywhere towards your direction. Are they completely oblivious to what goes on in his office does with those women, or do they completely ignore it because they believe it’s not their place?

After turning your head to the back of your boss's head, you follow him into his office. “Would you mind shutting the door for me, y/n?”

Upon hearing what he just said, you take a moment to register it fully, and to calm down in order not to trigger the fight or flight response. “Yes of course sir.” In closing the close the door, you leave a small crack oblivious to him. Just for any safety precautions if he tries anything.

As you sit in the seat across from him you sit up cross legged and pinch yourself on your thighs continuously. A habit you’ve picked up to remind yourself you are in control of your body, and if anyone hurts you you’ll defend yourself by any means necessary.

Your dickwad of a boss stares at you for a moment and flicks his eyes down to take notice of your casual outfit. It’s not even revealing, but youve taken note of how the little fucker knows it too and doesn’t even try to hide it either.

What a fucking Pig.

“You seem a bit stressed lately, not just physically, but it just shows even more in your work ethic too. Tell me, what is it, you got a bad case of boyfriend troubles?” He chuckles and leans forward.

There is a small hope that you wanna think that he’s just teasing, but his body language makes it seems if he really wants some sort of answer.

“No sir, no boyfriend.” Clarifying the most important thing. Why is it when a woman is suddenly sad or happy, men assume it’s always them that cause it?

“I’m just messing with ya.” He snickers. “But honestly, your one of my finest employees. I just have never seen you so tense around the lab. Your even sending it emails closer to the deadline, I mean you usually turn them in pretty early-”

“My mindset is just…out of wack lately.” You interrupt. Although to coax with it I am trying to indulge in the habits that typically relax me. Yes, “habits” and because it’s personal he has no right to know what they may be.

He smirks and then leans back adjusting himself and clearing his throat. “Hmmm, is that so? I hope I’m not the cause of your personal issues. I try my best to make sure you’re comfortable here in that little private office of yours.”

“I mean you’re partially the reason I’ve been so mind fucked, but that’s been going on for the last few years I’ve been here. There’s another man on my mind and he’s the center for everything so don’t get cocky”, you retort inside your head.

In reality what you actually say is, “Oh no, of course not sir. I love my private office, I am endearingly grateful for your kindness.”

Your saying everything he wants to hear so you can get the fuck out of his office, but your hoping it doesn’t have an opposite effects of him keeping you in there like his other “business meetings”.

While looking into your eyes, he swipes his bottom lip with his nasty wet tongue, leaving a mischievous smirk in its place. “Well I’m glad, you’re one of my most valuable employees, you deserve the finest. I actually brought up in here to propose a business deal.”

Wait what, he actually does business in here?

“I’m going on a business trip to Japan in a few weeks, and I want you to be there to accompany me. This trip can expose you to the top best tech companies, plus you’d get a huge pay raise.”

Oh.

He seems a little too pleased at your gratitude.

“Um, I’m truly flattered sir. I would love to travel to Japan! However, that is a lot to think about, and I’d have to revisit my schedule and future plans, but I’ll take that into consideration.”

Japan is somewhere you’ve always wanted to explore. They have extremely high grade technology and you’ve always wanted the chance to experience it hands on. But with this guy?

Hell no.

At this he sits up here and leans forward looking deeply into your eyes. They reign pure disappointment, His smirk however still remains.

“That’s no problem sweetheart. But must I remind you, this is a huge once in a lifetime opportunity. I can get you in connections with other the best of the best.”

You nod in understanding, but inside your head you think it’s a opportunity you’d be willing to miss if you had to be alone with this dickwad. Before he can try and pressure you any further, you stand up and shake hands with him for the sake of keeping your professionalism.

“Thank you so much for this grand opportunity sir, I’ll be sure to take it into consideration.”

He takes your hand in his germy grasp and you remind yourself to sanitize as soon as you step foot into your office. “Yes! Please be sure to do that, once in a lifetime!”

Yeah yeah yeah

With a nod you turn to open his door all the way with no shame unlike those other women to let everyone in the office know your not one of them.

The rest of the work week your boss made extra time in his schedule to bother you and ask if you were still thinking about his business proposal. “Yes sir, I still need a bit more time.” You’d say.

It only made you feel more anxious and your thighs were starting to ache at the bruising from you pinching them.

Even if you were distracted by a certain white haired man and a dream about him that happened earlier on this week, you made sure to better your work ethic and get everything done in a timely manner.

Truth is your mind was already made up, you just didn’t know how to break it to him.

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On Friday, all you could think about his how much you wanted the day to end and get away from your boss. You even take extra precaution in packing 30 minutes earlier rather than the 15.

As soon as 5 o clock hit you rushed to the elevator without giving him the time to stop you in your tracks.

Like a child you were even skipping out to your car as you hop in and start your ignition with excitement. You weren’t sure what you and Hongjoong would be doing today, but doing anything with him honestly made you feel like you were in another world with just the two of you.

But fuck, how could you be around him when your thoughts are just the dream and other fantasies of him floating around affecting your daily life? You wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you can’t handle not being around him either.

When driving in the library's parking lot, you are surprised to find it to be almost entirely empty. Especially on Friday afternoon when most workers in the area can finally take a break.

Your attention is immediately drawn to the note posted on the normally spotless double doors as you approach the entrance.

CLOSED

“For the information of all those who are concerned, The Wonderlands Collection Library is currently under temporary closure. Due to the decrease in supportive tax funds, the building is not able to operate for longer periods of time. We apologize for any inconvenience.”

In other words, the library has been closed because high class workers have become so selfish with their money that they will not support the library?

Truthfully it just upsets you because you can’t check out your sexually explicit books to get you by for the next week. Especially with your boss smothering you every hour of the work day.

But that also means you won’t be able to see Hongjoong for a very long time until the library reopens.

Maybe it's for the best, you do not know how you would have avoided the thoughts of that version of him in your dreams.

Without wasting a second you change out of your work uniform and plop on your now dry sheets that were once wet Monday morning. As soon your bed was properly made up to your liking with a dozen of fluffy pillows against your headboard, you let out a huff and stare at the ceiling you were staring at after waking up from your wet dream.

The thought of every detail has been running through your head all day, but now you begin to question all the things you might’ve done to have made life treat you unfairly, and take away the greatest thing that has brought you endless happiness.

In a short while, that was over, and when you arose you remembered you had many NSFW reading accounts to use in situations such as this when you could not read your novels. You open your laptop to log into your various websites and search for an interesting story.

Having tried a few sites, you give up and begin mindlessly searching the internet for Hongjoong.

The more you read his blog with all the articles, both the ones he showed you and those he didn't, the worse you feel about having ever thought that he would write something of this nature. There's just a sense he just wanted to make the world positive and peaceful.

The red ‘x’ in the upper right corner takes you back to the reading sites, while thoughts of Hong Joong creep in. A newfound idea comes to you out of desperation, a pairing of two characters much like Hongjoong and you.

Journalist x Reader.

The first to load is a page with the user tag @lemontree1117. The profile image depicts a lemon fresh from a tree accompanied by a leaf hanging on its side. A man and woman are smudged in the header, but it can be seen that they are romantically involved. But the caption is what makes it so compelling, “When Life Gives You Lemons, Write About Lust” - Anonymous.”

As you scroll down you see their most recent post is a Masterlist of a newly written series called Lucid Dreams. Your interest is piqued and you scroll further down to see the description of the summary:

“A young librarian lives in a lonely downtown city, reading smutty romances to escape her dry love life when she works. The secret comes out into light when she is approached by an attractive news reporter and asked a few questions about her interests. Their meeting transforms all aspects of her imagination into reality.”

The library isn't your area of expertise, but you frequent the library every week. While your love life is dry and nonexistent, you read sexually explicit books at work, but you prefer to be in the comfort of your bedroom when you are at work. Instead of being the subject of questioning, you questioned Hongjoong about his interest. However, he has not and likely will never fulfill your dream,even though you would appreciate it if he did.

That is the whole reason for searching for the pairing in the first place, it is the closest thing to Hongjoong you can get right now unless another dream comes true to fulfill your utmost desire for him. Which you honestly aren’t sure how it happened by chance.

You click upon the link to the first chapter and begin reading. It was another day of heavy book reading for the lonely librarian, until the mysterious man drew nearer to her at the front desk. “Hey pretty lady nice to meet you, I’m Chris. Would you care to answer a few questions about your favorite genres as a librarian for my journal entry?”

Chris the journalist? Not as as pretty as Hongjoong, but whatever.

The librarian is startled at his question and takes hand before shaking it slowly looking deep into his eyes and never letting go.

It reminds you of yourself with hongjoong, you could totally see yourself doing this.

“Uh, what sort of questions will you be asking, I’m not sure I’ll have that much time, I’m very busy working right now.”

Chris lets out a defeated sigh and moves his pen behind his ear while trying to make first eye contact and lean in closer on the front desk to the librarian.

“Okay fine, it’s true that I am a journalist, but I was watching you over there and I decided to check out one of those books you were reading because you seemed pretty interested. So I decided to check or out for myself and might I say pretty lady…”

Ah no no no…why are you getting second hand embarrassment? It was just like Hongjoong in a way. The nicknames and the teasing from the coffee hangout about you reading romantic fiction was all too relatable.

“Oh no, I just, just-

“Just what, pretty lady? Don’t you enjoy reading it? How about feeling it? Does anyone make you feel like that?”

Butterflies, all over your belly, and you had to stop reading for a moment. Drawing back you read it over again and continue.

“I, I do, and no I do not, Sir.” The librarian tries to keep her professional composure as the dark haired man smiles devishly at the nickname. “Sir huh, so you like authority and being taken care of. Will you let me take care of you angel?”

The librarian nods her head enthusiastically and-

DING!

You jump up sporadically when your phone notifies that you’ve gotten a text message. A very rare occurrence aside from it being your parents. When you open your phone to see that’s it was none other than the man you were thinking about, you were so caught up in your mind you had forgotten you exchanged numbers.

Hongjoong: Bummer that the library is temporarily closed for the time being love, I really was looking foward to seeing you (╥﹏╥).

A surprise giggle emerges from your mouth at his cute and silly emoticon, you honestly don’t ever do that unless something happens in a reading brings you genuine excitement. It makes your heart flutter at the fact he was looking forward to seeing you too. Your fingers do a dance over the keyboard before typing back.

You: I know right? Me too, I was hoping to see more of those amazing articles drafts of yours lol.

‘Amongst other things’, you think.

Hongjoong: Well I was hoping we could go out on a date if you care to talk amongst other things.

What the bell did he just read your mind? Wait a da- Another ding erupts your many thoughts.

Hongjoong: Are you free at all right now?

Yes, you are free right now and spending your free time reading online fanfiction that reminds you of him in an attempt to relieve the burden of your obsessive thoughts regarding that dream. Which now that you’re reading it, your thoughts have grown worse. Maybe one date with him can give you a much needed reality check.

You: Yes, I am completely free for the entire night.

After you hit send you contemplate your decision. Will you really be able to contain yourself, and not be tempted? What if you act like the librarian stuttering out of nerves?

Hongjoong: Great, how does a paint and sip sound? I can pick you up at 8?

You glance at the clock and see it’s 6:32 PM. If you decide on going you have to start getting ready now.

Fuck it.

You: That sounds fantastic, 8 is perfect.

A few minutes pass before he gets back to you. ‘From his fashion sense and writing abilities, it seems like he might be an artsy guy’, you think. You realize that you can pay attention to him without the sexual attraction. To him, this is probably a ideal definition of a first date.

Hongjoong: Yay! I’m glad you like it love. You’re perfect. ( ˘ ³˘) <3

That’s it, you’re rushing to your closet to put on the most impressive thing you own. Which was hard because you only wore casual clothes during the day and silk pajamas at night.

In the deep depths of your closet, you pull out a short blue denim button up dress. It was a gift from your loving parents that you had yet to wear. To pair with it you go with a white long sleeve shirt and all black tights and black knee high boots to match its buttons.

In preparation for taking a hot shower for the second time today, you set your outfit on your bed and go to the bathroom to feel clean and fresh. A newly scented body wash is opened in hopes that Hongjoong takes notice.

Shower thoughts consume your mind, and you are unable to concentrate on the fact that you are going on a date. This is your very first date since high school when you went to the movies in your junior year. Let’s just say in short, you didn’t make it to a second date.

The moment you step out of the shower, you begin moisturizing with the most delicious-smelling body butter, before grabbing your clothes from your bed so that you can get dressed. You look in the mirror to see the outfit you chose blindly.

The dress is much tighter than you had expected but not in a bad way. Your thighs are sticking out from the sides and your thighs hug each other as the black lace covers them in decoration.

It’s very sudden but you feel the lost confidence from your high school days come back in full circle at this very moment. At your reflection you twist, turn, and make proper gestures with your body in preparation for tonight.

Once again, you are snapped out of your trance by another ding and as you glance back, notice that your phone is now displayed with the time 7:27 PM on the lock screen of your phone. You stand up and walk towards your phone to pick it up from the bed after one more once over in the mirror.

Hongjoong; I just realized that I never asked you for your address haha. (;^;)

That damn emoticon. You would have been annoyed if it was someone else but you couldn’t help but giggle when you texted him your address and entry code to your private flat.

It is 7:34 p.m., and you are packing essentials for tonight in your purse. Gum, feminine products (you never know), a phone charger, and your flat apartment keys.

While waiting on the bed, your nerves begin to pick up. You don’t know what to expect, a paint and sip? You weren’t much of a painter but you love a good drink of wine.

Following up a parade of questions march in your mind: How do I start the conversation? Will we be able to talk? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like him? What if that dream pops into my head and slip out an explicit detail? What if?

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A knock on the door alerts you that he’s here and you get up and almost fall to the floor on how anxious you were. You stable yourself and breathe calmly in front of the door, then open out with a pretense smile. “Hi!”

He chuckles at the pitch of your voice, “Good evening my love, how are you?.” You didn’t mean to sound so high pitched but you did of course against your wishes.

As expected, he is wearing his silver round glasses and pearl earrings, but a special addition of a beautiful daisy pendant is laced around his neck. “I’m great, how about you?” However you were the complete opposite, seeing him in the flesh with all the things that happened in the past week was much harder to keep together than you had assumed.

Your eyes shift to look away from his face, and down his body you notice the difference in style of clothing. Unlike other times he looks very bright, and fitting for the occasion. His broad chest is adorned with a white t-shirt underneath a navy blue denim jacket embroidered with more daisies traveling down his matching jeans and white basic sneakers.

“I’m great too, thank you for asking.” He’s analyzing you now and even if you were confident before you become body conscious. “How cute is that? We’re matching!” You then realize you really were matching, and it was almost like you were a-

“Yeah…it’s like we’re both knew what the other was thinking.” you say.

Only if he truly knew.

He nods and moved to the side as in saying you can stop hiding in your apartment and walk out.~ “Shall we leave to head to our date my love?”

This gorgeously ethereal white haired man, he just knows how to press all the right buttons. We look good together? Your poor heart and delusional mind.

“We shall.”

Upon entering the elevator, small talk is made about your daily activities. While he was carrying conversation explaining the process of building his own writing establishment for his journalism, you kept it short and sweet, stating that it was an ordinary day at work.

He takes the lead to his in the parking lot and you are in shock. His car is really nice looking much like himself. It’s black, shiny, sleek, and clean, and very luxurious.

In a blink, he moves in front of you to open the passenger door, and waited until you got in comfortable to close the door after your thank you. In which he of course responded, “Of course my love.”

As he walks around the front of the car, you buckle your seatbelt and debate whether you should run from the car and return to your flat without explanation. Not out of concern for yourself, but to protect Hongjoong, your habits of pinching your thighs come into play. Before making any moves, you need to ensure that you are mentally prepared.

Opening his door he sits downs and buckled up as well before glancing at you making sure you’re okay. “All good?” You had forgotten everything you practice in the mirrior tonight and simply put your thumbs up as a yes.

He smiles widely before starting the car and putting it in reverse to pull out of the parking space-Reaching his arm over your seat-You stare at it and take notice of the new opening of his muscles through the tightness of his white tshirt.

Fuck.

You were going to have a hard time controlling yourself, but it was only for tonight.

Luckily when he pulls out to a stop in reverse, he brings his arm back down to put it in drive. You notice he hasn’t took another look at you, and how intensely focused off a driver he is.

The drive is most peaceful and you were left alone to battle your mind in silence. It provided an opportunity for you to actually come up with a solution to look at him differently.

At the beginning of your books, you have a small idea who the main character is based on the summary description, and you only know a little about him from his description of being a journalist. You just need to dig further into the small details to get to know his character.

You arrive at what looks to be an art studio. While Hongjoong searches for a parking space, you stare blankly at him. He flicks his eye toward you and starts laughing in your face and that brings forth your focus.

"Can you help me find a parking spot love? I can’t see from your side when you are staring at me.” Your breath hitches at the guilt of being caught. “Oh! I’m so sorry!” You exclaim in embarrassment and point out thr first empty parking spot you see.

Hongjoong puts the car in park and gets out immediately. You wonder why he’s in such a rush until he comes to your side and opens the door for you.

As you attempt to get out of the vehicle, you realize that you haven't unbuckled your seatbelt until you look down. In embarrassment, you’re apologizing once again to him he helps pulls you up out of the car with a cutest giggle.

Like a gentleman, he holds the door open for you, and you try to stay calm despite your past trauma. But HongJoong isn’t him you remind yourself, and you hope he’ll never be.

Upon walking in the entrance of the studio, your eyes are captivated by the many different paintings on the walls, staring in further by the openness of the space. Two portraits connect half hearts in two paintings. There’s another one of two lovebirds, a palm tree at the beach, and flowers that are freehanging without specific placement. The lack of painting experience you have does not make you believe that you can produce anything that is comparable to theirs.

Suddenly, you feel a soft hand placed on your lower back, and you quickly turn to defend yourself.

However, it was Hongjoong’s hand that touched you and he gave you a concerned look before slipping his hand off your back and pointing his head at an employee at the front desk that you didn’t realize was in the same room.

“Good evening, we have a reservation for the paint and sip at 8:30. Y/n, L/n and Kim Hongjoong.” A reservation? That only means he had prepared this before you even agreed.

“Yes, you are in fact on our reservation list, and your spots are reserved in room 102.” Hongjoong tells the receptionist thank you and guides you to the room without his hands on your back like he knows exactly where to go.

As he opens the door, you are greeted by an advisor, who hands you a glass of wine and tells you where to sit after getting your names. You both have a spot next to each other but you realize a lot of people are coupled up in groups.

Is this a couples paint and sip?

The advisor maneuvers to you two with a bottle of red wine pouring it full into your glasses. “Thank you.” you both say in unison, “You are most welcome, and this is a free painting class, so you are free to paint whatever you wish. It could be each other, or a heart to symbolize your love-Happy painting!” They leave the wine bottle on your table, and you are taken aback at the word love.

“Oh, uh, I suppose I had made reservations for the couples free paint and sip and not the, friendship paint and sip.” He awkwardly shifts in his stool.

You laugh to lighten the mood although nothing is funny, because now your overthinking again. “That’s alright, it might have been the matching outfits, the receptionists probably changed it and that’s what might have led us in here.”

He looks relieved and chuckles between his words. “Yep, it’s definitely the matching outfits. It be awkward if we went back and told her she’d gotten it wrong.”

The mention of his words you think about how other people might see you and him. Was it just the matching outfits or did they see any chemistry between you two? “Well, let’s not then.”

Woah that was bold. Really bold.

“Let’s not”, he responds, and his facial expression contorts into something you’ve never seen on him before, like mischievous and flirting combined.

At a loss of words, you nod at him and prepare the material around you for painting. But then you realize, you aren’t sure if what you want to paint. “What should we paint?”

Hongjoong who has also started preparing his supplies, shift his eyesight to look at you. “How about, we paint something that reminds us of each other, then we can exchange them?”

Shit.

You were doing so well in controlling your filth ridden thoughts and now they’ve come back again. Something that reminds you of him? Literally everything you look at reminds you of him because he’s always on your mind.“That sounds like a good idea.”

From the moment you’ve met him till now he has a constant presence inside your head. He’s even exist in your dreams and your readings by using your illusory imagination.

In the past month, you have only thought of him in a non-sexual manner twice. First, you read the drafts of his now published blog articles, and you were deeply moved by the positive hope he had for bettering humanity. Second, you are reminded of the effect of the Matcha green latte that Hongjoong suggested at the cafe.

As with him, the cup of sage green liquid transports you to another place in your mind. Its sweetness is not overpowering, and the green leaf art design at the top adds a sense of comfort to it as a whole. Not only did it remind you of Hongjoong, but it represented him as a person.

When you start to put the image onto the blank white slate you decide to incorporate yourself in the image by painting your hands around the mug. The angle in which you wanted to paint will show an above view of the white cream leaf design on the surface of the matcha.

Unexpectedly your focus averted to the task at hand. The therapeutic effect of the painting became apparent as you reflected upon its meaning. The experience was much like reading a novel or an online fanfiction; it relieved the thoughts and feelings of loneliness within.

You are nearly finished when you clean the edges of the latte art with the small slanted paint brush. In astonishment you sit back looking at the outcome of your painting as you take a deep sip of wine. It turned out a lot better than expected.

Oblivious to you Hongjoong finished way earlier than you had, and he’d been making googly eyes with a tight lipped smile like a baby lizard in awe with the sight of you painting.

In suddenly realizing this when you drink the last of the wine, you set it down to view his work in progress. Only to then make eye contact with look of adoration on his face.

“So I take it that I remind you of a green matcha tea latte. But what made you paint that if you don’t mind me asking?”

Shyness creeps over as you tell him everything about the painting that reminded you of him, and how his kindness and is what made you paint your hands, as you felt comfort with him.

A heartbeat of silence follows after he takes in your words. His black painted fingernail covers his heart between the pecs of his chest as he raises his hand, and your mind is filled with a sense of arousal from the dream imposes before you catch yourself to look back into his eyes.

“In the short time of us knowing each other, I am glad i’ve made you feel that way. Ah, I’m not sure if mine is as meaningful though.” The same hand on his chest gestures to his canvas.

Painted onto it was a brown seed in the center of the canvas with a green sprout arising from it. In the background, swirls of orange, yellow, and red circled around the seed. This image is simple but intriguing, and you are curious to discover what about it reminds him of you.

"The seed is representative of you. Your small and adorable appearance masks the real you closed in. The more time I spend with you, the more open up you become, which explains the sprout. The background colors represent the warmth of the sun that I wish to provide to you in order for you to open up more.” He sighs deeply and look back at your painting in comparison to the lack of detail on his.

Even if yours did have more details, you could nearly cry at his paintings meaning. It scared you that he knew there was more to you but he wasn’t wrong, the seed and you share so much in common. He wanted to bring you warmth? To spend more time with you?

Little did he know the warmth you felt in your heart already, but also the arousal that was slowly growing closed in between your thighs.

“I think that was a lot more meaningful than my painting. As the journalist, I certainly expected you to be more profound and poetic.”

Her bites his lip and is shy of your compliment. You, made him shy? Does he feel the same attraction as you do? Or was it all in your head?

“An artist's meaning for their art cannot be greater than that of another artist. The significance of meaning cannot be measured, because it pertains to you as a human being, and no other human being is greater than the other.”

The way he speak so articulately makes him sound like Shakespeare. How can a man make everything in life so beautiful and meaningful. How can someone have such a positive outlook, on a world with negative people.

“Beautifully said, Mr.Journalist, I honestly think you’ll be able to do great things with your articles in no time.”

Genuinely, you did mean that. Kim Hongjoong is tokened to be the face for the future. Once he has accomplished all his dreams, he’ll be unstoppable.

“Thank you Miss, Computer Technician, I believe you’re gonna be alongside me, doing it is whatever you wish to do in the future.”

Be with him, In the future? Did you hear that he wants a future with you, or maybe he’s saying that figuratively, meaning you’re not really going to be with each other but just in ranking of accomplishments?

“Thank you.”, is all you can reply with quite frankly. Another heart beat of silence erupts and the advisor comes over and interjects the loving moment of every couple and you two and all groups to follow him with your paintings.

The advisor takes you to a room with high speed drying vents. He explains the process in how the vents work but you completely tune out to look out Hongjoong.

That was until someone taps you on your shoulder to get your attention, and you jump up again out it self defense.

Much to your relief, It was an elderly woman accompanied with her husband. “You two looks so perfect together, he’s a good one dear, keep him forever.” She winks and walks away.

So, here you are again, is it the outfits, or do people genuinely see some chemistry and attraction between the two of you?

Her husband nods at Hongjoong, tilting his head in your direction, and he looks at you for a long minute before turning back to see the elderly couple disappear before he could nod back.

It wasn’t long before the both of your paintings were dry and ready to be taken home. The two you of you exit the studio with the lady in front wishing you a good night, and the both of you wish the same for her.

Hongjoong takes your painting from you to put it in the backseat, and tells you to wait outside the car.

After shutting the backdoor, he makes his way over to where you are near the passenger side and opens the door for you. “Sorry…it’s just what I’ve been taught.”

Whoever his parents are, you want to give them a huge thank you for raising such a handsome yet respectful young man. At the surprise you mutter a thank you and sit in your seat. Before you can shut the door he leans in and clicks on your seatbelt.

Your breath hitches at his closeness. The smell of coffee beans, vanilla, and sandalwood lingers for a moment. A grand combination that you could trail off to and go for more like a mice with cheese.

He leaves as quick as he came, and shut your door before walking to the drivers side, opening it and settling into his seat.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight. This is something I typically do on occasion by myself, but it was nice to be accompanied by your presence.”

Oh you enjoyed yourself entirely, and it was all because he made the experience enjoyable.

“It was the best date I’ve ever been on. I would honestly come back here again, just for fun.”

His soft pink lips stretch out in a wide smile, he looks down at his lap as he rubs his hand up and down his thick muscular thighs.

Was he actually nervous right now?

The buff was of his chest deflated as he sighs deeply and breaks the beginning of silence.

“ Y/n, I’ve gotta be honest. I really don’t want this night to end with you, but I know if that’s not what you want, I can take you back to your apartment.”

Wow, did he really enjoy being with you that much? Now that you think about it you don’t want the night to end with him either. You could listen to him talk sweetly to you for hours, he so attentive and well mannered. But, can you control yourself to continue with this any longer?

“I honestly don’t want this night to end either…”Looking back up at you he actually looks surprised. “But, I don’t wanna go anywhere else too public, my social battery needs to be recharged.”

This was a true fact. You hadn’t been out like that in a really long time, not to mention, on a date. He nods quickly in understanding. “Of course, I understand. So where to?”

Without checking yourself you let slip past your lips of what was shoved pack into your mind. “Your place.”

In a blink you slap your mouth to shut yourself up and look at him apologetically. Dammit now you think you just made him uncomfortable when he looks at you in surprise again.

“No! Not like that sorry~. What I meant to say was- can we go to your place, if you don’t mind?”

Sitting back and staring the car, he gives you a swift nod yes. “I don’t mind, as long as you feel comfortable. I’m still a stranger, sort of.” He shrugs.

You then nod yes in the most enthusiastic way. “I don’t mind, if you don’t mind.”

Without wasting another minute, he switches the gear off the car in reverse, he’s back to putting his arm on your seat. Sitting back down, you realize he doesn’t put his arm down this time. Rather, he looks at you.

“Well then it’s a done deal, my love.”

He puts the car in drive and pulls off.

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To your amazement, you and him actually had a great conversation in the way back. It was so easy to bounce off each other. His stories would trigger a story to transpire back into your memory, and you’d compare your experiences. At one point you’d gotten so comfortable you leaned back into the seat and your head landed on his arm.

While looking back at his arm your belt out a bunch of I’m sorrys. “You apologize very often for every mistake you make, relax okay? You don’t have to do that with me.” He even pulls you back into his arm with his hand on your shoulder and tells you to enjoy the ride.

Reruns of memories of your life flow in your mind and you look over at the white haired man your spending your the night with. You think of all the males you’ve encountered in your life, and rarely have they’ve always treated you like you were just taking up space. It was only ever your father and now Hongjoong to make you feel different.

In a span of a half hour you arrive to his apartment building, which is a little less modern and more reserved than yours, but it was very nice nonetheless.

It was a 4 story studio apartment building made of concrete and red brick with black lined glass windows.

The both of you approach upon the entrance of the main entrance of the building and he struggles to open his wallet with the paintings in hand, so you take it away from his hands gently and put them in yours.

He murmurs a thank you and takes out a card and scan it against a machine with a red light on the side of the wall. When he holds it up to the red light it turns green and you hear a click that unlocks the door.

At your apartment building you use fingerprints, it was a much stricter procedure with its placement in a suburban area. But it was nicer to see a more simpler approach and it made you feel less on guard about burglars wanting to take your belongings that you worked very hard for .

Being the gentleman he is, he opens the door letting it close behind you once again. You don’t flinch this time, yet your nerves are still stimulated.

He guides you by your lower back once again and you don’t jump up and go in attack mode this time either. At this he applies a bit more pressure and moves you into the elevator through the lobby.

On your way to the elevator, you take a good look at your surroundings. In a glass room there was an open gym, and a yoga studio right next to it. Outside of the room was a lounging area and a variety of vending machines.

Hongjoong presses the up button with his free hand as he waits for the elevator to open.

With a ting sound, the doors open and you are met with a couple eating each other mouths out. However they are oblivious in meeting the two of you and Hongjoong clears his throat to grasp their attention and they both walk out in shame with their heads down in a hurry.

The both of you enter and Hongjoong pushes the 3rd floor button and withstand brief moment of quietness the door closes. To both him and your surprise you both laugh loudly and look at each other, before blushing and looking at the ground.

Yes, it did trigger your delusions a bit and it made you somewhat jealous you can not do that with Hongjoong, but the longer you spend time with him those feelings are pushed back and your interest in him comes forth.

When the door opens hongjoong moves to the side for anyone coming on, so you do the same.

A moment passes and you both notice no one is coming on and he gestures for you to go first. With a small nod, you walk out to stand awkwardly to the side of the hallway for him to step out and show you the way to his apartment.

He then steps out and move two off his fingers in the air as of saying follow me. Of course that’s what that meant. Your mind wasn’t going anywhere else…of course not.

Pulling out his wallet he pulls out the key card again to scan on the machine on his apartment door.

The light change from green to red unlocks the due with a click and you walk in with his permission and instantly take in the state of his living room.

It’s very tidy, but it has a little bit of edge. All of god furniture is in black, but with the many band posters and antique decorations on the wall, it added an equal balance of color.

Even if you don’t want to think this way, you can’t believe you’re literally in the place where Hongjoong sleeps, eats, and comes home to after every fart. It’s mind boggling as you think about what led to here, and so you try and take a break you reset.

“Excuse me, but where is your bathroom? All that wine from tonight made me tipsy, and a little bit…pissy.” You place the paintings down onto a table and cling to your purse timidly. Its not how you intended to excuse yourself, but it works.

A childish laugh blooms out of his body, and he bends over halfway before sitting up straight again.

“Who knew that you were so funny? I like this side of you. It’s the room when you walk straight down that hall.”

He zips down his jacket and shrug it off on his shoulders with his still clinging onto his body. The muscles that this man has on his arms underneath that jacket is something that you couldn’t have perfectly imagined as you see him more in the flesh.

You pinch your thigh and wave the newly arised feelings of and head straight down to the bathroom in embarrassment of your antics.

On the right of the living room, you see the kitchen which is more modern and modest than the living room. The shape of the counter is an incomplete square with two seats on the edge upon walking in. It was too so black, but the decoration of hints of white contrasted very well.

In the hallway you walk further down seeing a laundry room on the left, walking down further seeing his bedroom on the right and then finally the bathroom which is at the end of the hall in front of you.

Turning on the light your greeted by an also very tidy bathroom. Now for a man, it is very weird to see a bathroom as clean as Hongjoong’s is. Another check on the box, of your imaginary list.

The room is accessorized with gray, yellow, and white toiletries, no black. He had a glass, walk-in shower with his toilet opposite from it and the sink was right next to the toilet.

As you wash your hands, you looked up to check in your appearance. You still look good and you look…happy. Like your actually glowing on the outside. On the inside however is a turmoil of the post month since you’ve met Hongjoong.

After cleaning your hands you give your thighs one last good pinch before drying off your hands to leave and turn off the light.

Walking out back upfront to the living room and kitchen area, your nostrils flare at a delicious fragrant aroma. Out of curiosity, you walk faster and you look right into the kitchen to see Hongjoong in an apron, working on something above the stove.

Oh, this was so no helping with you from within.

“Hey I’m back. Are you cooking something?”

He looks over his shoulder and grins at you. You get a good look of his face and he didn’t have his signature silver round glasses or his pearl earrings on. How does he do it? Look so unbelievable pretty, even with a bear face.

“Yeah, I hope you like creamy tomato chicken pasta. It’s all I really have right now.”

Even though he turned back around already to work at the stovetop you shrug and wave off your hands. “I’m not picky. Do you need any help?”

Slowly, you walk up to him to see him sear the chicken in a skillet while the noodles are boiling in a pot of hot water.

You approach at his side and he puts down the spatula onto the cutting board with tomatoes on the counter top. His arm muscles as he pushes himself from the stove and looks you up and down with an unreadable expression.

“That would be most helpful. But first take off your shoes and get comfortable. I’ll slow you how to make the sauce.”

At his suggestive request you walk back to the entrance and take off your boots. You sigh softly at the relief from your sore feet. Taking your purse off your shoulders you hang it up in a closet and grab your phone out of it. You tap on the screen and it displays 10:57PM, it was getting pretty late.

Before heading back into the kitchen with Hongjoong you stuff your phone into the front of your dress pocket, which was honestly starting to get really uncomfortable with the addition of the tights underneath.

“Hi, I’m back again. Where do I start?”

For the next 30 minutes you and Hongjoong cook, joke, laugh, and dance together. The music came out of a record on his antique record player. The moments were very light hearted and your mind was starting to wind down at ease, although this arms and him in an apron was a little distracting.

It’s hard to remember the last time when you cooked a home cook meal. The thought made you sad in a way because of your longing on high school traumas. But it is quickly accounted for within every moment of fun with Hongjoong.

As soon as everything is cooked and assembled you both dig in immediately.

In taking the first bite it was nothing but a burst of different flavors and herbs, and that creamy tomato sauce danced happily among your taste buds.

No one’s cooking but your parents tasted like this.

They knew you had issues eating and they also had suspicions of why. Nevertheless they always reminded you that self love is the best love, and a good way to treat yourself is through your stomach.

“This is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted, and it was so easy to make!” You take a huge bite of the chicken and smile.

“Great, I’m happy you like it! This is usually what I eat on a regular basis. Journalists can be lazy sometimes.” He laughs chewing a creamy pasta noodle. “Its so easy, filling, and delicious!”

Nodding in agreement, you continue to stuff your mouth as music plays in the background. Unbeknownst to you, Hongjoong was glancing at every now and then to watch you enjoy the food you two prepared.

When he finished his plate he looked at your clear one and asked of you wanted more. But as much as you loved it, you were honesstly full after only one plate. It seemed like he packed the food in heavily for you in comparison to the decently portion size on his.

In fact you are so full, you are even more desperate to move out of the dress at the bulging of your stomach.

Hongjoong was across the kitchen washing the dishes and placing them in a drying rack, when he saw you staring at your stomach in worry, he advances toward you to bend down and meet your stomach on his knees.

“Hey are you feeling okay, do you want to go back home now? Or is it the food? I knew I should’ve probably cook that chicken a bit longer.”

You look down at him for a second and too many things come to your mind at once. One of them, he noticed you didn’t look okay. Another, you’ve seen him down there before, but that was in the-

“NO!”

“I mean- It’s none of those things, I wanna stay a bit longer, and the food was great. It’s just this dress…I need to take it off.”

Adding the last part quietly, you make yourself upset at the thought of having to repeat it because he hadn’t heard you.

“I wished you told me that earlier my love. When I said make yourself comfortable, I truly meant it.” He gets up immediately and stares at you scoldingly with his hands on his hips.

Looking at his disappointed face and pouting lips made you actually feel bad for not telling him sooner. “I’m sorry I just-”

“No.” He demands. “No more I’m sorry’s to me for the rest of the night alright? There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I’m the sun to your seed remember?”

Dammit this guy. He won’t let you sit there and feel sorry about yourself for once. Your so used to apologizing it’s just all in your vocabulary. How can you not think of him in such a way that craves into your want for him when he says stuff lie this?

“I’m s-“ You look up at him and raise a brow. “I should’ve told to earlier, I know.”

He takes a step back and extends his hand toward you, Opening and closing it, waiting for you to latch on.

You get up and he takes you to his bedroom. Just like most of its house it’s decorated black with hints of color here and there on the walls.

His bed is looks plushed in black, like the best naps could only be taken there. Behind his headboard is a black wall with a lamp hanging from the ceiling. In the corner is a chair and the other corner a work desk with his laptop you’ve seen him with in the library.

The same laptop you had thought was him typing dirty fanfics into because of your lack of sleep. You take note of a guitar hanging on the wash and a piano hidden beside a tall shelf, more talents that are concealed to you that this man has yet to present.

“I have pajama pants and I also have sweatpants. Difference is, the sweatpants are a little bit thicker, yet warmer. But the pajamas are fluffy but just a tiny bit cooler.

Averting your eyes from snooping you dare them between the two, it’s a really tough pick. But being in this studio apartment with the brick walls didn’t provide a lot of insulation. Fluffy pajamas sounded comfy but something about his sweatpants made it a little bit more personal.

“Can I have the sweatpants please?”

He hands them over to you and walks to the door of the room. “Sure thing! I actually need to use the bathroom. Plus, that way you can change privately in here.” He nods and smiles as he closes the door in a hurry and you hear him open the door to the bathroom.

Unbottoning down the length of your dress, you step out of it immediately. Much to your luck however your tights gets stuck on your thighs. You lift up one of your legs you get them off and now you were hoping all over his bedroom until you plop ass flat onto his bed.

It’s exactly how you imagined. It’s was better than your Queen sized memory foam mattress at your flat. The things you do in that bed thinking about him…you hurriedly kick off the rest of the tights all the way off in a hassle.

Sighing at the relief you look at the clothing imprints on your thighs, and a few bruises?

Oh yeah, you had that meeting with your dickwad of a boss where you were pinching your thighs the whole time out of fear.

You think about how he’s been bugging you about joining that Japan trip with him for the whole week. Why in the hell would you take advantage of the time without your mysoginstic boss, with your boss?

To escape from your brain you focus on the task of grabbing the sweatpants beside you on the bed and slip them on.

As you’re walking out the room you see that the doors are still closed and Hongjoong hasn’t came out yet. You hear a bunch of scrambling and grunts of curse words flying out his mouth.

Was he?

No he couldn’t be. Not because of you. What effect could you have on him? What could be that desirable to think about while doing that?

“Um, Hongjoong, is everything okay in there? I feel awkward walking around in your house without you…”

It sounds like he was actually struggling to from a coherent sentence. His voice was strangled and the sudden loud clatter of noise left you only with concern.

“I’m perfectly fine my, my love. I’ll be there in ju, just a moment.”

“Okay, I’ll just be in the living room just listening to music then if that’s okay?”

“Ugh, y-yes love, that’s perf-perfectly fine, I’m almost f-finished.

“Okayyy.”~ You slowly back away from the door and under to see him shuffling with the lights on.

Doing what you had told Hongjoong you’d do, you head to the living room and listen to music. You spot his album collection next to the record player and scan through them to play a new record.

You stop your searching when a particular record piqued your interest. It’s cover looked like the paintings you had seen at the paint and sip with abstract flowers and a fish in its center. The words in front read, “fools garden” “Dish of the Day”. You look at the back for the song list and only see one,

Lemon Tree.

Wait, lemon tree? Why does that sound familiar?

Oh.

User @lemontree1117 crosses your mind. The online user account that had your new favorite fanfic “Lucid Dreams” in which you had discovered in desperation to unleash the thought of Hongjoong whom was chained to your every thought.

The matter at hand was something rare of a coincidence, was the world really taunting you as punishment for another time today?

Hearing the bathroom’s door open then close makes you scramble up with the album in hand pulling it close to your chest.

“My apoligies to keep you waiting love! This is embarrassing to say but…you know what, let’s just say, dinner really gets my bowels going.”

Oh, that’s what it was. You knew it couldn’t be what you had thought it was. Screw you, filthy mind.

Hongjoong watches over your spooked face and starts to apologize immediately.

“Okay that was gross wasnt it? Like a TMI? He takes note off you being unresponsive and decides to change the topic. “Hey! Do you know that song?”

You look down at the album your holding with said song. “No, I don’t actually, it just…stood out to me.”

Grinning, he walks over to you with a spring in his step. “Can I see that? I washed my hands really well, I promise.” He giggles.

You hand him the album and he looks at it with a child holding a giant lollipop. “This used to be my favorite song as a child.” Bingo. “I never knew what it meant until I was an adult. My parents let me sing it everywhere I went, and people would look at me with a sad look on their faces and I never understood why.”

Moving toward the record player he places the disk down to be recorded. A disoriented piano tune plays over in rhythm and he walks over back to you. He extends his hands and says,

“Care to dance my love?”

You look at his hands then him, before looking at him again, and taking his hand gently.

He grabs your hands firmly and leads you to an empty space between the living room and the kitchen. The songs lyrics come into play in your ears after a glass shattered sound effect:

I'm sitting here in the boring room

It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon

I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do

I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you

But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

Hongjoong leans fort and whisper into your ear. “I want you to try and guess what you think the songs meaning is, listen to the words very closely.”

You nod and take the time to listen while HongJoong pulls you closer with his hands gently placed on your waist and he pulls your arms his neck. He leans down toward your neck and before you can panic he sings the song lyrics into your ear:

I'm driving around in my car

I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far

I'd like to change my point of view

I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you

But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

It sounds like the artist is looking for someone that they lost, and they ride around looking for them in hopes they’ll magically appear.

I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree

There it is again, lemon tree. The world just had to make the name of the user of your new favorite romantic fanfic the same as his favorite childhood song.

Even the way he sings so adoringly in your ear makes you feel more guilty. Why did these bad things have to happen to you, with such a good man?

I'm turning my head up and down

I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around

And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

They artist is still looking for the person they wish to seek. Maybe it’s a loved one they’ve lost? What is it with this lemon tree? Why does it remind the artist so much of them?

Your continuing dancing, deciphering the meaning of the lyrics as he sings them into your ear, and your likely to fall asleep as he slowly spins you both in circles.

Coming at an end the artist sings:

I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout blue-blue sky

And all that I can see

Is just a yellow lemon tree

Hongjoong doesn’t pull away from you and your not sure but it seems like he’s inhaling your new scent you used today.

Or maybe your being you delusional self and he’s sensitive as he’s revisiting thoughts of his childhood.

“So what did you think? Could you figure out the meaning of the song?

Turning your face so you can whisper close to his ear, you tell him you think it’s about the artist losing someone that cared for and they wander around to find them but they keep envisioning this lemon tree.

Pulling away from you he looks at you wide eyed.

“Wow I’m impressed, you’ve got sharp ears and a mind. That’s really…spot on.”

For a minute there, you thought you misinterpreted the lyrics because you were also busy drowning in guilt. But somehow, you pulled yourself above water to breathe and l be present to isten.

“I guess so. But it was sort of easy to figure out, The tone of their voice sounds like their grieving, and they repeat themselves like there in some sort of loop they can’t get out of. The only I can’t figure out is the meaning of the lemon tree.”

With his hand on his hips he looks down at you in his sweatpants, and slowly back up to your face analyzing your body.

“Ah. The artist has a girlfriend that died in a car crashing into a lemon tree. So when he rides around in search for her, a lemon tree humbly reminds him. But it can also be interpreted that he feels bitter and sour about life without her.”

Huh. You were pretty spot on. Maybe it was just that way to decipher, or you felt some kind of relation to it that could be recognize to what the artist was feeling. You felt bitter and sour about life without Hongjoong these days, but the thing is he never left, not physically.

“Hmmm. That’s unfortunate and really sad actually.”

Nodding yes, he takes his hands off his hips to put them behind his head and expose a cheesy grin on his face.

“Maybe I’m just dumb and your just super pretty and smart. I can’t believe it took me 25 years to figure that out, and only 3 minutes for you.”

You? Super pretty and smart?

“Hey no your super pretty and smart too, or-I mean, handsome?”

Nice save, dumbass.

“I’m getting pretty tired and I might head to bed soon. Did you have any plans that you had scheduled for tomorrow? I can still take you back to your apartment.”

The only plans to had for tomorrow were to reread your books and continue the story of “Lucid Dreams”.

However, that can wait.

That’s honestly something that you would have never thought. But it’s late, and he’s tired and now you’re beginning to get tired, and you really don’t feel like putting that dress back on and getting on the elevator through the lobby to drive all the way back to your flat.

“I think I’ll just stay here if that’s okay? I’m tired too and I don’t think it would be nice to drive with us both cranky.”

He laughs softly. “Right, your right. I’ll sleep here in the living room and then you can take the bed. I pass out up here sometimes anyway listening to music, so I’ll be fine.”

Shaking your head no in a fast motion, you retort, “But this is your apartment, I wouldn’t want you to sleep on the couch because of-“

“Shhh.” He interrupts. It’s fine my love, trust me. The living room is quite literally my second bedroom. I’ll live to sleep in it another night.”

“…”

“Good night and sweet dreams my love, I enjoyed my time with you today.” He slumps into the couch and waves you goodbye.

“Goodnight hongjoong. Sleep well. I enjoyed today with you as well.”

When you enter Hongjoong’s room by yourself you feel extremely awkward. As much as you’re tempted to, you don’t go snooping around in his things. If things were vice-versa and you let him sleep in your room, you certainly wouldn’t want him to go through your things.

So instead you just lie in the edge of his s bed awkwardly staring at the door in hopes he’ll change his mind and sleep in the bed. Then you think if you were in your house, laying in bed right now, you would be reading the finishing of Lucid Dreams”.

But wouldn’t that be bad to imagine while you’re sleeping in his bed?

This is definitely a challenging situation for you. As much as your tempted to cross that boundary, it's more important to respect the Hongjoong’s living space.

It’s not like he’ll know, but it felt wrong. But the way his soft scent is clinging to the comforter set of the bed makes you wanna forget all about that.

Okay, maybe let’s not do that here.

It would be obvious to see the white in contrast to the black sheets, even though the thought of you leaving it on his bed arises something in you that shouldn’t be there.

A very long time it’s been been a long since you’ve slept without reading something to put you to rest. You could come up with a scenario in your head, but the man you visualize as the one putting you sleep, is the same person who’s bed your in currently.

You make sure to leave the light above his headboard on to not trigger you in any way that might freak Hongjoong out.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

Fast forward it’s been 2 whole hours and you haven’t gotten any sleep. You get up to check on Hongjoong.

Upon walking into the hallways, it was very dark and it almost took you back to that night.

However as you advance forward, you could see him sitting up on the couch swaying peacefully to the spinning of his record player in the moonlight.

The song stops playing and your footsteps have become quiet to ensure you don’t alert him. You pause at the end of the hall and in the entrance of the living room, looking at how his white hair soaks up the dark blue from the night sky.

“Hey, my love, couldn’t sleep either?”

Your spooked at how he can tell that you were there but as you move to advance towards him behind the couch, you can see your reflection in his window following you as a dead giveaway.

Fuck so that mean he could see you staring at him like a creep.

“Yeah, um, it’s been a long time since I’ve slept at anyone’s house, much less on their bed.”

Ah yes, the sad reality of being a virgin. He’s probably thinking the same thing about you along those lines in his head.

But you are very satisfied in having your own personal pleasures privately in your bedroom. “Ah really? Me neither.”

What, him neither? Who would date pass up the chance to sleep with this man based on the first glance of his beauty alone? Or maybe he just decides not to. “Why are you still up?”

He sighs before looking back at you. His white hair isn’t styled, and his face is bare as a shadow cast over the side of his face from the absence of light. Right now he looks especially ethereal oppose to the other times you’ve seen him.

“Why don’t you come over here and sit next to me and I’ll tell you love?”

You’re nervous to sit next to him but you do nonetheless. You sit in silence waiting for him to speak.

“I’m still in shock of how you figured out the songs meaning so fast after hearing it just once. You would make a good journalist you know? Being so observant.”

Hongjoong was peering over at you now with a tight lipped smile. His eyes sparkle with a small twinkle in his charming eyes. “I don’t know about that. Your a lot more passionate than I am.”

It was all you could say really, the honest truth. Your attention span was very short circuited. Unless it was a computer, a novel, or your boss. You’d never take the time to observe anything that was happening around you.

“Nonsense, everyone has things they’re passionate about. You just have to find your purpose first, a reason at to why you wanna put your work out for others to see.”

Well that’s not gonna happen because you don’t have a reason for people to see any writings of yours. You were just a reader. A member of a broad audience who just wanted to be entertained and leave as soon as possible to find the next best thing.

“I prefer reading, it’s just my thing you know?”

Hongjoong nods slowly before looking elsewhere to ponder for a moment.

“Yeah, I understand. Hey, can I ask you something? If it bothers you, please don’t answer if you don’t want to.

Uh oh

“Shoot.”

“When I touched your lower back earlier, why did you jump? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

Uhhhhh. Oh.

“Um, it’s, it’s just-

“You don’t have to talk about if you don’t feel comfortable, I will understand don’t worry.” He rushed in.

“No, um. Something happened to me, in the past. With a person-in high school. Luckily someone had came in to save me, but I’ve never been the same since. I don’t wanna to go into details but-

“And you don’t have to. I appreciate you feeling comfortable enough with me to tell me that. I’ll be here to listen to the details when you feel comfortable, buts that’s only if you want to.”

Why does he keep talking like he’s gonna be by your side forever? His question was something that you lost certainly weren’t expecting, but from his point of view, it can be alarming.

“Maybe, yeah sure. I’ll tell you another time.”

He gets up and grabs the album of Lemon Tree, placing it down on the record. As the disoriented piano tune plays at the start again in rhythm he sits back down and pulls a blanket over the both of you.

“Do you mind coming closer? I can go grab another blanket if you don’t wanna share.”

A flock of butterflies flutter in your stomach at the thought of ever being that close to him. You aren’t as easily tempted as you were at the beginning of the night, yet it was still there.

“Um, yeah I can come closer.” You scoot over to Hongjoong leaving an respectable amount of space between the two of you.

“If it makes you feel better, we can both stay up here. When you’re ready to go to sleep I’ll still be up here with you.”

Oh man. What if you have a wet dream about him and he’s right there next to you? He would definitely stop talking about that together forever stuff if he heard you moaning his name in your sleep. But your longing fear of the dark made you not want to be alone either.

“Sounds good.”

He nods and puts his arm above the couch “Good.”

The rest of the night was spent listening to Lemon Tree on replay. If it weren’t for the comfort of you slowly falling into Hongjoong’s chest and arms, you would’ve kept letting your mind flicker back to user @lemontree1117.

Rather than the thought of being unsure if you’re feeling even more conflicted about your attraction to Hongjoong. On one hand, you know that your fantasies don't necessarily translate into reality, but on the other hand, you can't deny her physical responses to him.

You wonder, as you drift off to sleep, what Hongjoong has in mind for you and your freshly started relationship in the future.

Chapter 3 ➡️

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PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY ORIGINAL WORKS, reblogs are appreciated and accepted. Stealing and modifying my work or publishing out on other platforms is not. 🖌️

☑️🤍A/N: If you would like to be tagged in the next post please let me know!

Thank you for reading!

Much love xoxo

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez au #ateez hongjoong #ateez x reader #ateez angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x y/n #kim hongjoong x reader #ateez scenarios #spotify #Spotify #1117feverlessdreams

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