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braxlrose · 11 months

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being in a love triangle with bill and tom

bill x f!reader x tom

a/n: i know bill and tom have said before that they don't let a girl come between them and if they like the same girl they let the girl choose who she wants, but let's pretend there's a little more to it.

• their love languages are very different when it comes to trying to "woo" you.

• you met tom and bill at different places. you met tom at a club and bill at a record store. you hadn't even realized they were twins since it was pretty dark in the club and tom and bill have different voices so you had no idea until they both talked about you and realized they met the same girl 💀

• tom is much more dominant than bill and way more out-there with his feelings for you. tom doesn't like to be submissive in relationships and bill himself has even said that tom is more aggressive in relationships (not like abusive though 💀)

• bill isn't exactly the opposite but he's a lot less dominant than tom. he really likes it when women take the lead or are even challenging rather than easy. i feel like bill would really like girls like kat stratford.

• when you first met tom, you were dancing in a club with a drink in your hand when he came up behind you and slipped his hands around your waist. you looked back at him with a smile on your face, obviously drunk.

• you turned your head back around and continued to dance with him.

• "im not sleeping with you before a date, i hope you know that!" you said to him, laughing your ass off and he just nodded his head.

• "really?!" he yelled, "you look the type!" he said, slurring his words and laughing at your offended face.

• "hey!" you slapped his arm, still dancing, "was that your bad attempt at telling me a look like a prositute?" you laughed again, leaning back on his shoulder.

• "maybe." he giggled, staring into your eyes.

• a little while after that he figured you were pretty drunk and he should take you home.

• he asked you where you lived and you told him you were staying at a hotel. you guys couldn't get an Uber so you ended up just walking back with him.

• you starting rambling about dumb, drunk shit like your future and things you wanna do before you die, and tom was totally infatuated with you. he had met other girls before, but you just seemed so much cooler.

• you guys ended up sitting on some old swings at a playground and just talking about life for hours until he finally brought you back to your hotel room

• when you had first met bill, you were at a record store looking through the records and cds. you already had a stack of cds on the counter when bill came up to you.

• "I like nena too!" he said with a smile, coming up behind you.

• "hmm?" you whipped your head around to see him, your eyes widening at his height and not even registering what he said at first.

• "oh, nena!" you turned you head to the stack of cds, one of nenas cds was on top. "yeah, I love her. her music is totally inspirational."

• bill just smiled at you and pointed to you cds "may i?" you nodded your head as he picked up the cds and looked through them. you continued to look through records and talked about all kinds of music.

• he grabbed your hand and brought you over to the otherside of the store. he grabbed a tokio hotel cd and put it in the cd player and put headphones over your ears. "ya' like?" he asked as your wrinkled your eyebrows.

• "huh?!" you said loudly, causing him to laugh and take off the headphones.

• "i said, do you like it?" he said giggling, as you nodded. he continued to tell you it was his band and you guys listened to a bunch of other music.

• "im bill, by the way." he said to you, as you guys walked out of the store and began to walk back to your hotel.

• "y/n."

• he gave you his number once you were back at your hotel and you jumped on the bed, smiling to yourself.

• once bill and tom got home they started talking about you a lot, and soon realized they were talking about the same girl. this wasn't really a surprise to them since they have crushed on the same girl in the past.

• "well. i think i should date her because I met her first, okay?" said tom and bill just sat there like.

• "yeah, yeah we could do that...orrrr i date her. because it's pretty obvious she's more into me."

• now this didn't start a fight between them, but they decided they would do a bunch of stuff and see which one you liked better.

• you weren't an awful person though. you made sure to tell both of them that you were sort of seeing another guy and they were like "oh, it's no problem!"

• tom brought you out to a super fancy restaurant, because he was all like "girls like that stuff." and I mean it was a super fancy restaurant and he told you to order whatever you wanted because he'd be paying for it. but right after you two had finished eating he brought you home and you two ended up making out for a little while.

• he was super proud of himself, and was like 99% sure that he had won you over. that was until he found out bill took you ice skating and said that you two had tons of fun.

• bill had remembered you had mentioned that you had never gone ice skating before so that's why he took you. he held your hands the entire time and you were practically gripping onto his body so you didn't fall over. you were super fucking scared.

• but you ended up getting the hang of it and having so much fun with him. bill didn't kiss you though, and when you asked him why, he said he wanted to take things slow with you because he really liked you. that honestly would've been enough to win me over #lowstandards

• after that, tom brought you to this place where you could taste different kinds of hot chocolate from different countries. you loved chocolate so you had the best time with him.

• but then bill took you to a petting zoo. usually those are for kids but you literally had so much fun petting all of the different kinds of animals.

• tom took you out to a party and you guys danced a lot, and ended up having sex in one of the empty rooms.

• at your next date with bill, you told him you had sex with the other guy. you were really confused on why he didn't care, but you didnt question it. bill had taken you dancing that night and that was the night you two finally kissed. it was warm and magical.

• on the next date with Tom, he brought you to a carnival and he won a giant panda for you. and he bought you whatever you wanted. you two had tons of cotton candy and ended up kissing at the top of the ferris wheel 🥺. you didn't really think of Tom as that kind of guy, but the more you got to know him, the sweeter he got.

• you were at a point, where you weren't sure who to choose, you liked them both so much and you didn't want to hurt either one of them.

if you chose tom:

• if you chose tom, he was so fucking happy. he picked you up and spun you around. he liked you so much and you liked him so much and he was really happy you chose him. obviously, he made sure that didn't get in between him and bill.

• he continued to take you out to restaurants and kiss you backstage at concerts. he would invite you over to his hotel room to have sex, but you would also hang out afterwards. he'd wrap his arms around you and smother you in kisses.

• he cooked with you all the time and loved that you would teach him how to cook new things.

• he would play guitar for you and bring you to parties to show you off.

• but you guys dated for only a couple months before going your separate ways.

if you chose bill:

• if you chose bill, he kissed you so passionately, it made your head spin. you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him in as close at you two could possibly be. that was the first time you two had sex. it was beautiful, and sexy and intimate and he couldn't stop saying how happy he was that you chose him.

• for dates, he would bring you to all sorts of places. but his favorite was this old little café and he would order a bunch of pastries for you, even if you couldn't eat all of them.

• bill would make picnics for you at night, and you guys would fall asleep looking at the stars.

• he would sing to you all the time and sing you to sleep whenever you couldnt fall asleep. and show you new songs he wrote.

• giving eachother massages all the time

• he loves it when you come back stage before a concert to wish him good luck

• bill dates to marry. so you too either broke up after 2 years of dating, or got married.

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @killed-kiss @memog1rl @80s-tingz @billybabeskaulitz

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tincan-tophat · 3 months

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I’m pretty sure that the Spy Another Day concert is going to be the first time that the Stratford twins are in a stage show together

#mariah rose faith casillas #james tolbert #tinlightenment #tin can bros #pulp musicals

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amethystunarmed · 3 months

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Benjamin and the Paper

Word Count: 1040 AO3 Link Benjamin learns about the events surrounding the launch of the Brick Satellite, and regrets.

Benjamin finds out from the newspaper.

(That’s not entirely true. He finds out when a new, brilliant star appears in the sky, because he knows only two people with the will and the imagination to shift the heavens themselves. He looks at the new guiding light over head and thinks, My God, they did it.)

Benjamin finds out about their deaths from the newspaper. Because of course he does. He can think of no person the ink loves more than the Stratford twins. Of course it cradles their bodies close to its chest, gently brings them home to rest in New York City.

“Extra! Extra! Death in British Guiana, local heroes killed in military coup!”

Benjamin stops so suddenly, three different people run into him. “Sorry, excuse me,” he says, frantically looking around for the paper boy he’d heard yelling. He beelines towards him, shoving what is certainly too much money into the kid’s hand as he snatches the paper away from him. He frantically scours the paper, looking for the story the boy was yelling about.

Maybe it’s not them, Benjamin thinks, feeling slightly hysterical. It could be about anyone, you can’t throw a rock in New York City without hitting a local celebrity. Breathing has gotten harder, the world spins around him. But he can’t stop reading, he needs to know-

Herschel and Hanover, along with Margaret Cavendish and Samuel and Rose Stratford, are presumed deceased.

Benjamin’s knees give out, and he grips desperately to a lamp post to keep from falling.

Samuel and Rose Stratford, are presumed deceased.

Many times, people say they’ve forgotten the last words they’ve said to a departed loved one. They can only hope it was a casual display of love, or, at worst, a mundane conversation with no bearing on their lives or relationship.

Benjamin knows exactly what his last words to Sam and Rose were, despite how hard he tries to forget.

Enjoy the present before its past.

Benjamin wishes he’d taken his own advice.

“Mister, are you okay?” The newsie asks, looking like he is afraid Benjamin is going to keel over next to him. Benjamin isn’t sure he answers. He opens his mouth, but he doesn’t think any sound comes out. Instead, he turns away and begins walking.

In the three months since Benjamin ended both his career and his friendship with the Stratfords in an incredibly public spectacle, he has done a lot of thinking. For the first month, he stewed in a blinding, hazy anger, interspersed with far too much whiskey. By the second month, he realized how empty his life felt without the Stratfords in it, and hated himself for even considering it. Recently, he’s just missed them.

(He’d been trying to figure out if there was a way he could send them a letter. He had no idea where to send it, much less whether Sam and Rose would actually read it. He supposes it doesn’t matter now.)

When his feet stop, he realizes he has reached the Stratford Family Paper Stand.

“You’ll always find a Stratford there!” Sam had once told him, like a reassurance. Like a North Star for Benjamin to follow if he ever lost them.

It is boarded up now, a sign over the door reading “Closed Until Further Notice.” Already, flowers line the walls, memorials for the heroes who told the world about life on the moon. He sees a paper with what could only be a child's drawing of a lunar buffalo. He remembers the way Rose and Sam had cackled when they told him about it, when they pulled this creature from thin air and made it real, preserved in ink before his very eyes. They created life with the dedication of gods and the whimsy of children.

The Paper Stand feels dead without them. There is nothing for him or anyone here. Not anymore.

He keeps walking.

It is dark when he finally gets to the office for the Sun.

He drifts forward toward the yellow light in the window. Because, surely, if looks in the window, he will see Sam, golden and brilliant in the lamp light, desperately scribbling in his notebook. He’ll see Rose, fingers blackened with ink from typesetting, the wrinkles in her furrowed brow like the lines of a constellation. He may have been an editor for the Sun, but the Stratfords were truly the ones Benjamin revolved around. As much as he likes to pretend the Lunar Hoax was a plot he got caught up in, he still remembers the thrill that ran through him as he put the first “Great Astronomical Discoveries” into type. He remembers being so excited for Rose and Sam’s reactions the next day. He remembers feeling positively giddy when they had beamed at him, once they saw he ran their story.

(When did that change? When did he decide their joy wasn’t enough?)

He feels adrift, a planet out of orbit. For as long as he can remember, his life has centered around the Stratfords, twin stars that tugged him into their gravity, be it as a friend, an enemy, or a man desperate to reconnect. What is his path, in a world without them?

He isn’t sure.

The door opens next to him, and Benjamin heart soars, because it’s them, it’s got to be them, it was just another hoax, they are back and really, shouldn’t Benjamin know better-

Chester Thomas stands, outlined in the doorframe. He looks worse than Benjamin has ever seen him, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, bottle of bourbon held loosely in his hand.

“What do you want?” He asks, voice curt and monotone. And Benjamin is going to leave, going to apologize and go about his business. Chester Thomas is the last person he wants to talk to right now, he doesn’t think his ego can take it. He fully plans to go home and stare at the ceiling of his bedroom until it is an acceptable time for him to get up again. He is going to leave, really.

So even he’s surprised when he says, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Chester sighs, and steps to the side. “Come on in.”

And, God help him, Benjamin does.

#pulp musicals #the brick satellite #benjamin park #the great moon hoax #rose stratford #samuel stratford #chester thomas #the ghosts of antikythera #angst #my writing #my fanfic

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fallinginaforrest · 4 hours

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I made a Pulp Musicals timeline.

And I would like your help to make it better.

This is what I have so far, based only on what has been given to us in the lyrics of the three episodes. I tried to do the math based on those lyrical clues and therefore may have the timescale wrong in some places! This is a helpful tool if you're listening for the first time and struggling with time scale, or if you're theorizing and need something to refer to.

I'd call it a general overview, and I'm always looking for ways to fix it, add to it, make it a little more comprehensive so please- in the notes if you have any amendments!

Thank you for reading and i hope you have a good timezone.

#pulp musicals #timeline #the ghosts of antikythera #the brick satellite #the great moon hoax #john herschel #rose stratford #samuel stratford #margaret cavendish #matt dahan

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sorryiwasasleep · 6 months

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Samuel: “Rose must’ve hit him on the head harder than I thought”

Rose: “And I’d do it again”

Herschel:

#pulp musicals #the great moon hoax #rose stratford #John herschel #sir John herschel #Samuel stratford #the stratford twins #pulp musicals episode 1 #tgmh #pulp musical the great moon hoax #rose x herschel #rose stratford x John herschel #listen I’m totally normal about them okay #i only think about them for an hour a day okay #roschel #between and beyond

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its-short-for-jackalope · 7 months

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🎶 that's what Herschel found up there 🎶

I was listening to TGMH one day and that two guys pointing meme was just beamed into my head when I heard this part, so I thought it'd be fun to use that silly idea as a springboard for some digital art experiments. This is the first time I've attempted digital painting, and I'm probably gonna shop around for different painting methods until I find one I really like, but I learned a lot from this, and I think it turned out pretty neat. :)

click for quality!

(+ process pics under the cut!)

unfortunately this is another project with a case of Looks Better As A Sketch disease, lol... when I practice & get better at rendering hopefully I'll be able to retain more of the flow & energy of the sketches?? still pretty happy with this, overall!

#jack jabbers #pulp musicals #pulp musicals fanart #the great moon hoax #tgmh #pulp musicals tgmh #pulp musicals episode 1 #matt dahan #samuel stratford #rose stratford #stratford twins #forgot all my art tags lmao whoops #digital art #clip studio paint #csp #artists on tumblr

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ladychandraofthemoone · 11 months

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7/7 HAPPY late 7/7: have Eddie “Alaric” Gyeon, Fredrick”Fearless Freddie” Russell, Ivo Hugh Barclay, and Tobias “Toby”Stratford-Smith

Freddie’s (and alaric) design was inspired by @vita940124 and @radarvision/@gadgetini while Alaric was inspired by glowynviator’s cfr designs on Twitter.

Random notes like Alaric real name is Eddie. It’s just a nickname and he’s half Korean because I got inspired by the Korean translation of his name so he and his twin brother Eric cool design next month they’re twins and half Korean and surname symbolism, like his name in scenery or view, and I totally fits the culdee fell railway , he seen at the more optimistic and loud twin. He has dyslexia and dyscalculia alongside his brother, both r kind and friendly folks.

Freddy gives me that chill cool parent vibes, and I like to think he has like so many scars from his tails, because when he was younger, he was much more reckless and little to no sense of self preservation. Hence the scars (like the scars are in space there from when ammunition’s accident, they exploded) like he suffers from sensorineural hearing loss, so he needs a his hearing aid and he’s very good at doing both ASL and BSL.

I will is baby I bet him off a lot of 90s fades like you know those overall jumpers such as the one from the fresh prince of Belair like plaid camo striped outfits I mainly got it from Pinterest. I would positive here, but it will be really long ha ha and of course I chose every shade of purple like a fine, because I was usually seen in purple in Trainz and of course I gave him cool kicks many converse cause they were also really popular and plus of course is Lil tamogachi. He probably gave it a like full long name but his nickname is grapefruit. Also, I found out here he and Duncan r technically cousins, so I’m trying to figure how it works.

and, of course, Toby I am making a huge au based off of Tobias and half pariah and I feel like that’s where people tend to have it as a nickname and this is like a real thing but it’s not but you know I am like a huge sucker for this movie so of course I’m again told you I was gonna draw him with Henrietta but I guess I was late for the eight you and you know fun fun, soft grandpa cottage core vibes both he and ivo have glasses (square frames of course though ivo gets them later on and he totally based them off of Toby’s Toby’s cries.)

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violetheart77 · 8 months

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Okay I know I already joked in the tags on my AJposting that Jeff Blim and Matt Dahan are trying to kill me but getting to this part of The Great Moon Hoax (*Great Astronomical Discoveries, Pt. 2) and finding out the subtext that The Stratfords immigrated to New York when Rose & Samuel were small children and they originally came up with the first version of the Moon story “Early on when we moved to the States / Stories helped us find out place / When New York seemed like outer space” (—A Penny)

. . . Yeah that’s ACTUALLY going to murder me 😭💀

#SCREAMING AT THE HEAVENS CHEWING GLASS WAILING AND SOBBING #I MEAN THERE’S *N O W A Y* MATT DAHAN POSSIBLY DIDN’T DO THAT ON PURPOSE RIGHT?#pulp musicals #the great moon hoax #tgmh #pulp musicals tgmh #pulp musicals episode 1 #great astronomical discoveries #rose stratford #samuel stratford #stratford twins #matt dahan

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appleinducedsleep · 2 years

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On a summer’s day in 1596, a young girl in Stratford-upon-Avon takes to bed with a sudden fever. Her twin brother, Hamnet, searches everywhere for help. Why is nobody at home?

#hamnet #maggie o'farrell #books #booklr #book photography #book community #Shakespeare #my books #bookworm

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ailendolin · 5 months

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Far Away - A Gabrian Fic

Title: Somewhere Far Away [AO3]

Characters: Ian/Gabriel, Anne, Bill, the children

Summary: Anne and the children move back to Stratford. Ian goes with them. Gabriel doesn't.

A/N: Merry Christmas (to everyone who celebrates)!

————

Far Away

“One day, I’d love to have a quiet life in a village, somewhere far away from here.”

When he’d said those words to Gabriel on a dark and gloomy night in London, Ian had no idea how much pain they would bring.

He’d come home feeling cold and utterly miserable that day. When Gabriel asked him if he was all right, instead of swallowing his frustrations like he usually would, he’d told her about the people who kept shoving past him in the streets, not caring if he stumbled and fell into the mud. About the sellers in the market who used to take his money with bright smiles on their faces and now sneered and spit at him when he walked past because of Croydon’s involvement in the plot. And he’d told her about the man who had pulled him into a dark alley and held a knife to his throat on his way home, and how he’d taken what little money he’d had left and scattered everything he’d bought at the market all over the dirty cobblestones.

“God, I really hate this place sometimes,” Ian had finished with a sigh before he’d let his head fall onto the table with a dull thud. A moment later, he’d felt Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. That unexpected gesture of comfort let him almost forget that he was still shivering and dripping water all over the floor.

Ian had known she’d listened to every word he’d said that night. But he hadn’t quite realised that Gabriel had taken his complaints to heart until Anne approached him one morning a few days later and told him she and the children would be moving back to Stratford-upon-Avon.

“I don’t want to leave Bill but you know how it is here. London is no place for children who are used to gentle green hills and clear blue lakes.” She paused, looking at him. “Gabriel tells me you’re not happy here either – is that true?”

“Well,” Ian began, taken aback by her question. “I’ve been a lot happier since I started working for you and Bill.”

Anne regarded him quietly for a moment. “Happier and happy aren’t the same thing, Ian.”

“I know,” Ian said. “But you’ve given me a home, too. A family. Living in London is a small price to pay for that.”

“What if you didn’t have to live here, though?” Anne asked him. “What if you came with me and the children to Stratford? Because I’ve been talking to Bill and Gabriel and we think it would be a good idea.”

Ian’s heart missed a beat. “Me? Living in Stratford?”

Anne nodded. “I could really use your help there, Ian. There’s much to do around the house, and you know how the children can be a handful.”

He did. There was never a dull moment in the Shakespeare household when the twins got that mischievous twinkle in their eye they’ve clearly inherited from their father.

“Susanna is already a big help but she’s still a child herself,” Anne went on. “And I want her to be able to be a child, Ian. I want her not to have to look after her brother and sister all the time, or cook dinner every day or clean the house. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” Ian whispered, looking down at his feet. He knew the kind of childhood Anne was worried about – he’d lived that kind of childhood. The thought of beautiful, brave Susanna being reduced to nothing but a workforce, a mother and housewife in training, made him shudder. She deserved better.

He felt Anne take his hands in hers. “So you’ll come with us?”

Did he even have a choice? Ian wondered. As much as he considered the Shakespeares his family, he couldn’t ignore the fact that they were his employers too. Anne might have phrased her request as a question but if he said no, she could easily just hire someone else, someone who’d leave London because in a heartbeat they hadn’t yet had the chance to meet Gabriel and fall in lo–

He clenched his jaw tightly and willed that thought away. Forcing a smile, he said, “If you think I could be of more use to you in Stratford than to Bill and Gabriel here, I will go with you to Stratford.”

“Oh Ian, thank you!” Anne said and pulled him into a quick, heartfelt hug. “I promise you’ll love it there! It’s just the kind of village you told Gabriel about, peaceful, picturesque, quiet ...”

Somehow, Ian managed to keep smiling until she’d left the kitchen to start packing. It was only when the door fell shut behind her that he sank down onto the bench and put his head in his hands. He didn’t doubt that Stratford would turn out to be everything he’d always dreamed of. The only problem was that his dreams had always included Gabriel. He wanted that quiet life away from the city with her, not on his own. Not that he had ever told anyone that. Gabriel was his friend, nothing more. Someone like her – brilliant, confident, beautiful – would never be interested in someone like him, dull and common. Ian had made his peace with that a long time ago, thinking it would be enough to live under the same roof with her and see her smile every day.

Only now he wouldn’t even have that.

————

A week later, he said his goodbyes. He tried to keep them short but when he held out his hand for Gabriel to shake, she pulled him into a hug that lasted longer than any other hug they’d ever shared before.

“Promise you’ll write to me,” she whispered into his ear. “I want to hear all about your new life in Stratford.”

Ian didn’t have the heart to tell her that he dreaded that life she was speaking of. So he simply nodded and, just for a moment, held her a little more tightly.

He didn’t look back when he got onto the carriage. He took the reins in hand and gently urged the horse to go so no one would see the tears he could no longer swallow. Behind him in the cabin, Anne and the children were talking excitedly about finally going home, and it took all his willpower not to cry as they left London behind them, and with it the only home he’s ever known.

————

Stratford was everything Anne had promised it would be. The hills were green, the rivers gently flowing and the meadows full of flowers. The people were kinder and more welcoming than he could have possibly hoped for. It was, in one word, perfect.

Ian was absolutely miserable there.

He tried not to show it. When Anne and the children greeted him in the morning, he smiled like he always had and asked them what they had planned for the day. When he went to the market, he grinned at the jokes the butcher liked to tell and told one in return. And when young Hamnet sneaked into the kitchen in the evening to dip his spoon into the soup for a quick taste before dinner, he laughed and shooed him away just like he used to in London.

It was only when the house was quiet or he was outside, tending to the garden, that the mask fell away. Then he would sit by himself, shoulders drooping and thinking about the way Gabriel’s eyes lit up when she laughed or how pretty she had looked in the candlelight that one evening he’d made her smile for the first time. She was always in his thoughts these days. Ian had never missed anyone as fiercely as her before, and with every that passed without a letter from her his heart felt heavier.

These days, her letters were the only thing he found himself looking forward to. As promised, he had written her as soon as they’d arrived in Stratford, and Gabriel had written back almost immediately with all the latest news from London and the play she and Bill were working on. That letter had been the first thing that had genuinely made him smile since he’d left.

“You’re looking cheerful today,” Anne remarked one day while they were preparing lunch together. “Has another letter arrived from London?”

Ian felt his cheeks heat up.

“Earlier this morning,” he mumbled without looking up from the carrots he was cutting.

“I’m glad,” Anne told him softly. She didn’t say anything more on the subject but Ian could feel her gaze lingering on him all through lunch, thoughtful and worried.

————

When summer turned into autumn, Anne told him they would be going back to London for the opening night of Bill’s play. Ian was over the moon. It would only be for a week but a week was better than nothing. He would get to see Gabriel again! Even just the thought of hearing the old, familiar stairs creak under her feet again when she came down for breakfast in the morning – always the first one to wake after him – and seeing her smile at him when she told him, “Good morning, Ian. Something smells very delicious,” made his heart ache with longing.

Then young Judith fell ill, and a few days after her brother did too. It was just a cold, not the plague, thank god, but they were bed-ridden and feverish for so long that Anne had to cancel their trip to London. Ian had known it was coming, had mentally prepared himself for it, but when she told him the news he still felt tears prick at his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ian. I know you’ve been looking forward to the play,” Anne said quietly.

The play. Right.

“There’ll be others,” Ian told her as confidently as he could manage. His smile felt terribly wobbly so he added, “I’ll be in the garden if you need me.”

Once outside, he leaned against the wall and took several shuddering breaths. Crying never got one anywhere – that’s what his mother used to say. But in that moment he wanted nothing more than to sink to the ground and allow the tears to come.

————

His letters to Gabriel grew shorter as autumn settled in fully and heavy storms began to wreak havoc over the land. There was nothing new to tell; only the same old things. He’d long since run out of both words and energy to make life in Stratford sound exciting.

He didn’t have the energy for a lot of things these days.

Still, life had to go on and if there was one thing Ian was good at it was stubbornly putting one foot in front of the other, day in and day out. He carried on, tried to smile, tried to be happy for the sake of Anne and the children. But every once in a while he slipped up, like that one time when Gabriel asked him in one of her letters, Please tell me if I’m being too forward but – are you okay, Ian? Because you don’t sound like you are struggling.

Her letter had arrived on a bad day in the middle of November: he’d lost his footing in the mud on his way home from the market and twisted his ankle so badly he’d had to hobble home. And as if that hadn’t been bad enough already, he’d also managed to tear his beloved cloak during the fall, the one Gabriel had made for him just before he’d left for Stratford.

It had been too much. He’d come home and, ignoring Anne and the children’s worried questions, limped up to his room without saying a word. When he saw the letter waiting for him on his desk, he couldn’t have stopped the tears even if he’d tried. With his ankle throbbing painfully and his old, battered heart in pieces over the cloak, he’d read the latest news from London and then, right at the end, the question that made him pick up the quill and finally tell Gabriel the truth.

I miss you.

————

The night before Christmas, there was a gentle knock on his door. Ian tore his gaze away from the heavy snowfall outside the window and softly called, “Enter.”

He wasn’t surprised to see Anne, not after the talk they’d had with the children over dinner. He pulled up his legs a little to make some space for her on the bed before he asked quietly, “They’re not coming, are they?”

Anne sighed. “I didn’t want the children to lose hope but even if Bill and Gabriel decided to try, I don’t think they can make the journey in this weather.”

She sounded as dejected as he felt. It had been snowing for three days now, so heavily and continuously that he needed to clear the path from the front door down to the road every few hours so they wouldn’t get snowed in. Travelling in this weather was madness, and yet a tiny, childlike, hopeful part of him had still hoped that Gabriel and Bill would be home for Christmas.

His fingers curled into the blanket. “I figured.”

“I’m sorry, Ian,” Anne said softly.

Ian frowned. “What for? The weather’s not your fault.”

“No, but–“ She stopped herself with a shake of her head. “We’ll visit them as soon as we can, all right? The moment the weather clears and the roads are safe to travel, we’ll go to London. I promise.”

Ian was too tired to offer her more than an exhausted nod. “I’ll better go clear the path again.”

Anne silently watched him go.

He would drag himself out of the warm comfort of his bed three more times that night to shovel snow but he didn’t mind. There wasn’t anything to look forward to on Christmas Day anyway.

————

The sky was already a pale pink when Ian woke up the next morning. Tired and aching everywhere, it took him far longer than it should have to realise he’d overslept but when he did, he nearly fell over his own two feet in his hurry to get out of the bed. Anne and the children would be awake already and he hadn’t even started making breakfast yet!

With guilt churning in his stomach, he washed and dressed as quickly as he could. A quick glance out of the window told him he would have to clear the path again so he hastily donned his cloak, now mended with slightly off-colour yarn, before he left the room. The smell of freshly baked bread filled the air when he came downstairs and laughter filtered out into the hallway from the kitchen. Stopping for a moment to listen, Ian closed his eyes and let the joyous sounds wash over him as he willed his nervous heart to slow down a little. Anne wouldn’t be mad at him for sleeping in. Surely she would have woken him up–

“Be careful of the fire, Hamnet!”

Ian. That wasn’t Anne or Susanne’s voice, that was–

“Dad, come on,” Hamnet said in that whiny tone all children seemed to possess from the moment they could talk.

Staring at the door, Ian suddenly felt his heart in his throat. Bill was here – but how? And did that mean–?

“Ask your Auntie Gabriel how dangerous fire can be,” Bill said, clearly trying not to laugh. “She nearly burned down my stage during rehearsals last week.”

“That was an accident and you know it,” Gabriel grumbled.

Ian’s eyes began to burn. He did not know how Gabriel and Bill had made it to Stratford all the way from London in a snowstorm and he did not care. They were here – Gabriel was here. Not miles and miles away but here, in this house, just behind a door. With every word he could hear, that gaping hole in his chest slowly grew smaller, and when he realised how easy it suddenly was to breathe now that he’d heard her voice again, the world around him began to blur. He had to support himself on the doorframe, afraid his legs would give out, but was not fast enough to press a hand to his mouth to stifle the helpless sound that escaped him.

“Did you hear that?” Gabriel asked.

Before he even had a chance to regain his composure or hide his face, the kitchen door opened and Ian forgot how to breathe as he laid eyes on Gabriel for the first time in months. The firelight behind her softened the gentle contours of her face and highlighted her beautiful dark hair – longer now than Ian had ever seen it. She looked like an angel sent from Heaven as she stood there before him, and as he had so often before Ian felt hopelessly inadequate in her presence.

“Sorry,” he managed to croak out. It wasn’t quite the first thing he’d meant to say to her after all this time but it would have to do. He knew he must look a shaking mess and people usually didn’t like it when he was anything less than perfectly composed, so he–

“Ian,” Gabriel said, her voice soft and cautious as if he were something fragile and precious that needed to be protected. Gently, she closed the door behind her so the others wouldn’t see him like this. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Ian wanted to laugh.

“Nothing,” he said, a little helplessly, and wiped at his eyes. “I just didn’t expect you to be here today and I’m – I’m so happy to see you, Gabriel.”

Gabriel’s eyes softened before she stepped forward and pulled him into a warm, gentle hug. “I’m happy to see you too, Ian.”

When she didn’t let go immediately, Ian allowed himself to close his eyes and lean into her embrace. She smelled of snow and apples, and he smiled through his tears when he realised what that reminded him of: home.

Their hug lasted even longer than their hug goodbye had; certainly longer than was proper. Everything in Ian was telling him to pull back and bring some distance between the two of them but he couldn’t bring himself to, not when he knew it was only a matter of time until they would have to say goodbye again. He knew he had to make the most of this moment if he wanted to get through the next few lonely months, so he held on tight and tried to commit everything about Gabriel to memory: how soft her hair felt against his fingers, the way her breath ghosted across his neck, how gentle her hands were as they moving up and down his back, trying to comfort him.

When they finally pulled apart, Ian reached for the edge of his coat to dry his face. With a gentle touch to his arm, Gabriel stopped him mid-motion. She offered him a beautifully embroidered handkerchief instead and Ian took it gratefully. When he promised her to clean it before returning it to her, she laughed and said, “Oh, how I’ve missed you, Ian.”

His breath caught in his throat.

“Really?” he asked in a small voice.

A little shy, Gabriel ducked her head and nodded. “More than I probably should have.”

And just like that, Ian found himself telling her everything – how he hadn’t wanted to leave her but didn’t know how to say no; how he’d always imagined his life in the country with her by his side, and not Anne and the children; how terribly he’d missed her these last few months, and how difficult it had become to find a reason to smile when she wasn’t there to brighten up his days.

By the time he had finished unburdening his heart, he was out of breath and clutching the handkerchief so tightly in his hands the blood was draining from his knuckles. His heart was racing a mile a minute, fearing her rejection or perhaps her ridicule.

Neither ever came.

“I had no idea you’d wanted that life with me,” Gabriel whispered. She looked at him in awe for a long moment that seemed to stretch into eternity before she boldly reached up to cradle his face in her hands. “I never should have let you go.”

With that, she pulled him into a kiss.

Ian had never kissed anyone before – not like this, not in any way that mattered. His eyes fluttered close and for a few beautiful, incredible seconds, his world narrowed down to the feeling of Gabriel’s lips against his and the warmth of her palms against his cold cheeks. It was breath-taking and heart-stopping, and over way too soon.

“This was what you meant, right?” Gabriel asked shyly, still gently holding his face.

A laugh bubbled out of Ian and he finally allowed himself to reach for her too. The handkerchief fell to the ground, forgotten, as he brushed away a stray lock of hair from her forehead, once again marvelling at the soft texture of it.

“I never dared to hope … I mean, why would you–?“ He cut himself off with a shake of his head. Gabriel never liked it when he talked badly about himself. So he smiled instead and confessed, “I think I’ve loved you from the moment you stepped into Croydon’s kitchen and offered to help me prepare lunch for your king.”

“You were so exhausted that day,” Gabriel remembered softly. Her thumb brushed over his cheek, calm and soothing. “I cannot say if I loved you then but I certainly felt a kinship with you that day. I was so glad when you came home with us that day when Croydon got arrested. Taking care of you while you recovered and seeing you smile for the first time – that’s when I knew I’d lost my heart.”

She kissed him again and Ian found himself smiling against her lips. He knew there were things they needed to discuss – things he wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about once he’d had a chance to clear his head. But as they stood there in the hallway, closer than ever before, all that mattered was the feeling of Gabriel’s skin beneath his fingertips and the warmth of her smile.

The worrying could wait.

#ian #gabriel montoya #gabrian #bill 2015 #bill the film #my fic #anne hathaway #bill shakespeare

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