#then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girlgenius1111 · 23 days

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wise beyond her years

sol meets someone, and it's doomed from the start. everyone can see it, except her. ingrid tries to balance being supportive and being... a parent?

based [ish] on the manuscript by taylor swift... mostly the lyrics "afterwards she only ate kids cereal and couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed"

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You met her at one of Ingrid’s games. Mapi had gone down to the locker room at halftime, and you’d been content to sit in your seat and scroll through your phone until the team made their way back out. That was, until she slid into the seat next to you and introduced herself.

Camila. She was a bit taller than you, the epitome of Spanish beauty. She spoke English with an adorable accent, and when you looked into her eyes for the first time, you were almost speechless. She looked to be a bit older than you. Maybe around Ingrid’s age.

You should have known better. You should have thought about how odd it was that she’d been sitting a few rows up and only came to talk to you when you were alone. How those first few dates she took you on always ended with her getting you to invite her to the next Barça game.

It was so easy for her. You were… healing. That didn't mean that you were healed. Freud would have rolled in his grave at how oblivious you were. Dating an older woman. Only a month or so after a huge fallout with your mother. Letting her talk you into things you weren’t quite sure about. Let her talk her way into your heart, making promises and declarations of love that came much too soon.

She said that she loved you. And it wasn’t that you believed her, not really. You just thought that if you tried hard enough to be perfect, one day she would love you.

------

Ingrid had made her displeasure with Camila known to you from the beginning. She knew exactly what the woman was up to, it was obvious to everyone but you. She was using you because you were an easy target, and you were vulnerable and young and excited that someone was paying attention to you.��

You wouldn’t listen to Ingrid, though. Not when she warned you nicely about Camila, or when she warned you much more seriously. You ignored her words completely, dismissed them. And Ingrid didn’t want to fight with you, but she couldn’t hold back her feelings about this woman that had slipped into your life, so poor Mapi bore the brunt of the Norwegian’s rants about how Camila was not good enough for her Solstråle.

This was the case today. You were off with Camila, and Ingrid was going crazy back home. It had been weeks, and this was still going on. The worry and concern your sister had for you was at a high, it was all she could think about. Mapi felt similarly, but she tried to keep her cool because she knew very well that telling you not to date the woman would only make you want to date her more.

“She’s going to get hurt.” Ingrid said.

“She might. That’s how she learns, though, mi amor. We have to let her make her own mistakes.”

“Did you read that in your parenting book?” Ingrid asked with a slight smirk.

Mapi flushed red, avoiding her girlfriend’s gaze. “It is not a parenting book. It is a… helping sad teens book.” She argued.

Ingrid softened. “María, don’t be embarrassed. Getting a book to learn how to help Solstråle better… that is sweet and thoughtful. Just like you.”

Now, Mapi was blushing again, but this time a small smile adorned her features, though worry was still clouding her eyes. “Are you sure it’s okay? I know she’s your sister, and I do not want to overstep.”

Ingrid just shook her head. “No, you are not overstepping. I couldn’t do this without you, María, and I mean that. You balance me out. I was worried, for a while, about being too much like my mother. You’d never let that happen, though, and it’s like a safety net. I don’t need to worry as much about making a mistake because you’re always there to tell me when I’m not doing the right thing. And you don’t have to be, but you are. I don’t thank you enough for that, my love. I don’t tell you enough, how incredible you are, for being so full of love, and so happy to share it with everyone you meet.”

“I love you.” María whispered back. “I love you, and I love mi sol, and I tolerate her dog, but I love our family. Sol is a special kid and… I don’t know. I just want you both to be happy. I want you both to feel loved and worthy of love because you are.”

Ingrid isn’t quite sure how this conversation about your ‘girlfriend’ had led to this incredibly mushy conversation, but she pulled Mapi into her and squeezed tightly. “ Don’t make me cry, Solstråle will be home soon and she’ll make fun of me.”

Mapi laughed loudly, quickly wiping a tear off Ingrid’s cheek as the front door opened, announcing your arrival home. When you walked into the living room, it was to see Mapi and Ingrid curled up together on the couch, which wasn’t an unusual sight. Nor was the way they were looking at each other unusual, either. Like seeing the other person smile could sustain the other for days. Ingrid and Mapi loved each other so deeply, and so easily, it was clear for anyone to see.

You wanted that, you really did. And you thought you had it where you definitely didn’t. You’d have it one day, though. Something told you that.

-------

You weren’t sitting with Mapi at the match today. Camila had wanted it to be a real date, and not be supervised by your sister’s girlfriend, though she still wanted to attend the match. You’d been excited about it, even though you’d spent most of your free time with her in the past couple weeks. Well, excited until she’d disappeared right before kick off to get you both waters, and had been gone for 20 minutes.

You were really just worried that something had happened to slow her down, so you got up when an opposing player went down and headed off in search of her.

You found her pretty easily, leaning against a wall by the bathroom, talking to a girl. A girl that looked to be about your age, that looked just like you in fact. You tried not to jump to conclusions as you froze, watching carefully from a few meters away. It was obvious, though, what was going on. Even more obvious when Camila reached out and tucked a piece of the girl’s hair behind her ear.

It wasn’t immediately clear to you what to do. You knew you should be angry, but really all you felt was hurt. Before Camila could spot you, you headed back to your seat, and when Camila returned a few minutes later, you did what you were used to. You shut down. You answered her questions with shrugs or nods, even when she started to get annoyed that you weren’t speaking.

You wanted to talk to Frido. Not Ingrid or Mapi, because they’d freak out. Mapi would get all weirdly protective and huffy, and Ingrid would just be furious that you hadn’t listened to her. Frido would listen to you, and tell you what to do. You couldn’t get to the Swede, though, not without seeing your sister and her girlfriend. And by the time the final whistle blew, Camila’s anger was simmering under the surface, and she practically dragged you from the stadium. You quickly texted Mapi, telling her you were leaving with Camila, before your girlfriend pushed you into the car and all but slammed the door. You winced at the sound, knowing that you shouldn’t feel guilty for how you were acting. Camila should be the one feeling bad, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling to just apologize and let it go.

It was like the old version of you and the newer version were fighting. Was this how you deserved to be treated? Had Camila really done anything wrong? Your brain was a mess, and as Camila pulled the car out of the parking spot, and began to drive, you decided that you just needed some space to think.

“Can you take me home?” You asked quietly, looking at your girlfriend out of the corner of your eye. She seemed to relax a bit, now that you’d spoken. Camila didn’t look as angry anymore. Just worried.

“Is everything okay? You’ve gone silent on me.” Camila asked gently. Or, at least, it sounded gentle. She was giving you a kind, concerned smile but there was a look in her eyes that made you kind of uneasy. You ignored it, focusing on the softness, letting yourself be lulled into a false sense of security. You told yourself to be honest, that it was probably just a misunderstanding. That Camila would make you feel better about it, explain it all away. And everything would go back to normal.

“I just… I saw you talking to that girl by the bathroom. It looked kind of cozy.” You said cautiously. The car came upon an intersection, a red light, and Camila came to a stop before she looked over at you. The concern was gone from her face. The softness nowhere to be found. She just looked furious at you.

“Did you follow me to the bathroom for a reason?” She asked venomously.

You shook your head, surprised at the turn this conversation had taken. “No, no, you were gone for a while, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Camila rolled her eyes as the light turned green, looking away from you and at the road. “Sure. I was just saying hi to an old friend. There’s no need to get all jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” You replied, sitting up straighter in your seat, a bit of anger flaring in you. Anger you hadn’t felt in a while, but a feeling that still filled your veins with fire. “I just wanted to know why you were flirting with someone while we were on a date.”

Camila scoffed. “I was not flirting. I told you it was an old friend. I barely talked to her, what are you being so dramatic about?”

“I really don’t think I’m being dramatic. I just asked you a question.” You said, trying to remain calm even as your girlfriend got angrier and angrier next to you.

“No, you acted like a child. Going completely silent and ruining our date? I know you’re young, but I expected you to act like an adult and be more mature than that. It’s honestly embarrassing.”

You felt your cheeks burn, and you chewed on your lip for a minute, trying not to say anything you’d regret. “I asked you a question, and you just keep deflecting. I don’t think I am being the childish one.”

“Is this the mommy issues or something?” Camila asked, a cruel smile playing on her lips. You sat silent for a moment, not completely sure you’d heard her correctly.

“Excuse me?”

“The jealousy, the insecurity? I know your mom fucked you up, but this is ridiculous. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, why are you being so clingy? It’s fucking annoying, and I’ll tell you right now, no one on earth is going to want to put up with this. Especially not from you, it’s not worth it.”

You blinked, completely shocked. You hadn’t expected her to get so angry when you’d been honest about your insecurity and worry. And you hadn’t expected her to throw things that you’d told her in a moment of vulnerability in your face either. “Are you serious?” You asked, voice cracking slightly.

Camila let out a humorless laugh, parking the car in front of the cafe you were supposed to be going to. “Are you going to cry now?” She asked mockingly. “Christ, you really are too young. I don’t want to date someone this immature.”

You stared at her, feeling like you had whiplash from the turn this conversation had taken. It seemed like she was breaking up with you. Which was probably for the best, if this was how she reacted to you bringing up an issue with her. Still, it was like you were seeing a side of her you’d never seen before. Cold. Cruel. She looked completely unbothered as she unlocked the car doors and gave you a pointed look, one that clearly told you that this conversation was over.

She looked unbothered, and you felt your heart shatter as your biggest fear was coming true. You were too much. It had only taken Camila weeks to get tired of you. Hot tears fell down your cheeks, ones you desperately tried to hide. You were sad and embarrassed, but most of all. You just felt so hopeless.

As you got out of the car, without another word said to your now ex-girlfriend, you wondered how you could have been so naive to think that someone would want you. Camila was right. You were too screwed up for anyone to choose you.

You walked right into the cafe, making a beeline for the bathroom. Locking and shutting the door behind you, the last of your resolve broke, and you worked hard to quiet the broken sobs falling from your lips.

Stupid. You’d been so stupid. It wasn’t the first time someone had broken your trust, or said something awful to you. But it was the first time since… things had changed. And somehow, you’d forgotten how much it hurt, feeling unwanted. You had been used to it, before, numb to it. Now, though, it burned sharp in your chest. Shame and sadness and anger and frustration. And still. That persistent feeling of hopelessness. How was anyone ever supposed to want you?

-------

Mapi had a weird feeling when you called. Your text after the match had sounded odd, and you were supposed to be getting coffee with Camila. She didn’t really have any other reason to be worried, but for some reason, she was.

“Maps?” You greeted quietly. You called Mapi on purpose. She worried less than Ingrid, and while she disapproved of Camila, she had been pretending that she didn’t. Mapi was more likely to be willing to come and get you. Ingrid, on the other hand, you assumed would be too angry that you hadn’t listened to her. Too vindicated, and too caught up in being right to comfort you.

“Hey, nena. What’s up?” Mapi asked.

“Can you come get me?” You mumbled, the embarrassment of the situation really hitting you full force.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Mapi replied instantly, and you really appreciated that she didn’t try to get any details out of you, was just focused on getting to you as fast as possible.

“Can you bring Scout?” You asked after a moment’s hesitation, knowing how Mapi felt about bringing the dog in the car with her. The simple question sent another wave of worry through the Spaniard’s body, knowing you really only asked for something you needed when… you really needed it.

“Of course. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?” Mapi asked, rushing to grab her keys, ignoring the questioning look Ingrid was giving her from the couch, having woken up from a nap.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay, mi sol. I love you.”

“Love you too.” You whispered, choking back a sob as you hung up.

“What is it? Where is she? Is she okay? Did something happen?” Ingrid asked rapidly, moving to get up from the couch.

“Scout! Ven aqui!” Mapi called, rolling her eyes when the dog appeared instantly, as if he knew the reason for being summoned. “I don’t know, she just asked me to come get her. Don’t get up. Stay here, rest. I’ll get pequeña.”

“But-”

“No buts, princesa. Stay here. I’ve got this covered, we’ll be back soon. Don’t move from this couch, I mean it.” Mapi insisted, never one to take Ingrid’s recovery casually.

Ingrid frowned but sat back down on the couch, watching as her girlfriend and your dog disappeared out the front door, both of them moving like they were on a mission. If there was one thing Mapi could agree with Scout on, it was that you were very important.

-------

When Mapi pulled up in front of the cafe, she saw you sitting with a to-go cup of coffee at a little table, staring at the ground. She parked quickly, finding a spot just around the corner, before she got out to walk over to you, bringing Scout with her. Scout pulled harshly on his leash, and for once, Mapi didn’t mind.

“Solstråle?” Mapi called when she got close enough, seeing your head whip up to look in the direction of your name. In a flash, you were abandoning your coffee and all but launching yourself towards Mapi. The Spaniard didn’t say anything, not quite sure what had happened but able to infer that it wasn’t good.

“Thanks for coming so fast.” You said quietly, feeling just marginally better now that Mapi had pulled you into a tight hug. Scout nudged your leg with his nose rather insistently, until you pulled away from the hug and crouched down to pet him.

“Of course, mi sol. I’ll always come for you. Did something happen?” Mapi asked, never not amazed by the way Scout instantly brought a small smile to your face, even if your eyes were still slightly wet with tears.

“We broke up.” You said simply, though your voice cracked over the last word.

“Oh, nena. I’m so sorry.” Mapi sighed. “Let's get you home, yeah?”

“Okay.” You agreed, although you really weren’t looking forward to it. You wanted to go home, curl up into a ball and cry, by yourself. At the same time, you desperately wanted a hug from your sister. You were just completely convinced that she wouldn’t be willing to do that.

-------

You walked into the house just behind Mapi, trying to take deep, steadying breaths. You were close to breaking down, and you didn’t really need to hear all the reasons that Ingrid had known this would happen. You didn’t need an ‘I told you so.’

Your sister was waiting for you in the entrance hall, pacing nervously, when you walked in.

“Solstråle! What happened? Are you okay?” Ingrid asked as soon as you were through the door, ignoring Mapi’s look that was clearly telling her to be cool.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. I want to be alone.” You said, pushing past her to head for the stairs. You heard Ingrid begin to go after you, but Mapi stopped her, telling her to give you a minute.

-------

You collapsed onto your bed, Scout jumping up next to you like he thought it was a game. You just wished it would just swallow you up. It was only a few minutes later that you heard footsteps approaching your door, like you knew they would. A soft knock on your door interrupted your crying, and you hastily wiped at your eyes. “Yeah?”

Ingrid peaked her head in. “I know you said you want to be alone, but I just wanted to check…” she said, trailing off when she saw you valiantly fighting your tears.

“I’m okay.” You mumbled, focusing on petting Scout, as opposed to looking at your sister.

“Honey, you aren’t.” Ingrid sighed, moving in closer to take a seat on the edge of your bed. “You’re upset, that’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“Well, I am. You were right. Is that what you wanted to hear?” You asked bitingly, not really intending to snap so harshly at your sister, but not quite sure you felt like you could trust her at the moment.

“No, sweetheart, that is not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be wrong about her, solstråle, more than anything. I am so sorry things didn’t end well.”

“You aren’t glad that you’re right?” You asked, astonished. It didn't really make sense to you; all of this could have been avoided if you’d just listened to your sister. How could she be sorry for you when you’d blatantly ignored her advice?

Ingrid shook her head, her face painfully full of pity and sympathy. “No, not if it means that you’re hurting.”

“Oh.” You weren’t quite sure what to do with that. You’d been prepared to deal with this yourself. To be completely honest, you didn’t really feel like you deserved Ingrid’s support. You’d been so stupid not to listen to her. This was all your fault, really, and Ingrid shouldn’t have to deal with implications of something that was ultimately your mistake. “I’m sorry, I should have listened.” You said quietly, looking down, refusing to make eye contact with your sister.

“Don’t be sorry, solstråle.” Ingrid sighed. You looked so distraught, but you were leaning slightly away from your sister, like you were afraid to accept any comfort from her. Like suddenly, you weren’t sure you trusted her anymore. And though that hurt, Ingrid really couldn’t blame you. Not when the universe seemed so dead set on making you miserable. “What can I do?”

“I just want to be alone.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around yourself, completely invalidating your statement.

“No, you don’t. Look at me.” Ingrid instructed, waiting until you raised your head to look at her, very cautiously. “You’re allowed to be sad about this. No matter what happened, no matter what I said about her before. I never want to see you hurting. You don’t have to deal with this alone just because you made a mistake. Okay?”

You held your sister’s gaze for a few moments, before you slowly nodded your head. “I really liked her.” You whispered after a minute, leaning almost imperceptibly towards your sister.

“I know. Come here, honey,” Ingrid said, opening her arms for you to all but collapse into them. It was familiar, at this point, being held tightly in Ingrid’s arms. It never failed to make you feel better. And while Ingrid wished that things would just be easier for you, a very critical part of herself settled when you relaxed against her. The brunette was never quite sure she was doing a good enough job with you, but when you went to her when you were upset, allowed her to help you, even if it was rather hesitantly, it felt reassuring to her. It wasn’t full trust, but you were getting there. She must be doing something right if you were making progress.

“What would make you feel better?” Ingrid asked after a minute, smiling to herself at how Scout had settled himself with half his upper body draped across your legs.

“Nothing.” You replied pathetically. It wasn’t the first relationship you’d had, but it felt so much more significant than any of the others had. In just a few weeks, Camila had made herself one of the most important things in your life. You weren’t really sure how she managed it, but somehow, she’d gotten you to confess things you’d told very few people, learned more about you than many people did. And as soon as things had started to not go her way, she’d used all those things against you. It was the first time in a while that you’d really let yourself be fully vulnerable with someone, and it had backfired so horrifically. You were hurt, and you were embarrassed, but most of all, you were just sad.

You thought this was going to be a turning point for you, but you didn’t realize you’d given Camila all of the ammunition she’d needed to make sure it was the biggest setback you’d face. Not until you were lying in your bed, wanting nothing more than to disappear. You’d been nothing to her. That was a familiar feeling, something that made every cell in your body squirm with anxiety. It was happening again.

“What are you thinking?” Ingrid asked, interrupting your rapid stream of thoughts.

“Is it me? Do I just… make people want to treat me badly?” You asked. It wasn’t the first time you’d considered it, but that particular fear had been dormant since everything had happened in the last few weeks. Since Ingrid and Mapi had made it clear that they wanted you here with them. It was confusing and completely contradictory, your brain couldn’t really make sense of it. Your sister and her girlfriend must just be the exception.

“No.” Ingrid said firmly. “No. It isn’t you. You just have… bad luck. You make me and Mapi want to be better, Solstråle. Better for you, so that we can take care of you in the way that you deserve. You are good, Solstråle, and you deserve good, even when you don’t feel like it.”

For some reason, Ingrid’s words brought tears to your eyes. Good tears. “Well, I can’t have all bad luck. I get to be here with you two, and I don’t know if I would still be…” you trailed off, trying to figure out what you wanted to say. “You both saved my life, I think. The two of you wanting me here, and taking me in, that’s good luck.” You managed, sitting up and shifting so you were facing your sister, who looked one word away from bursting into tears herself.

“It’s not good luck, mi sol. It’s what you deserve. It’s what you should have had this whole time.” Mapi chimed in from the doorway, looking fondly at the two of you. Ingrid smiled at her in thanks, humming quietly in agreement with her girlfriend’s statement. The Spaniard wandered in closer, flopping onto the free space on your bed, causing a disgruntled Scout to shift, kicking Mapi lightly in the side. “That girl did not deserve you. And you’ll find someone who wants to treat you the way you deserve. You just can’t rush stuff like that, sí? It will come to you when it does.”

It was potentially the most frustrating advice to receive, but it made you feel better nonetheless.

“And she was kind of ugly.” Mapi said as an afterthought.

“Mapi!” You laughed, smiling a real smile. Both girls’ faces lit up at the sight of the smile on your face, and both of them were desperate for you to keep smiling, for your face not to fall into the sad frown it had been in for the past hour. The conversation lulled, and Ingrid’s mind raced, trying to think of what people liked to do after breakups. She’d been with Mapi for so long, she wasn’t sure she remembered.

“Do you want to lay in bed alone for the rest of your night, or do you want to watch a movie? Or we could go get ice cream. Or we could go shopping. Or on a run. Or-” Ingrid listed, only stopping when you cut her off.

“Sister movie night sounds good.” You said softly, unable to express in that moment how much you appreciated how hard she was trying. You knew ingrid probably wanted to talk, to hear everything that had happened, but she was learning to respect that you really only liked to talk when you felt like it. Which wasn’t often.

“Sister movie night, cool.” Ingrid said, trying to act like she wasn’t thrilled that you’d decided to be with her instead of requesting to be alone. “Go pick a movie, I’ll make popcorn.”

You all dragged yourselves off your soft comforter, having grown rather comfortable, and headed for your bedroom door.

“I’ll be in the garage.” Mapi said, smiling at both of you as she tried to wordlessly communicate that she knew you both wanted sister time, and it was okay that it didn’t include her. Both you and Ingrid froze, though, turning slightly to stare at her like she’d said something absurd.

“Don’t be stupid.” You said, rolling your eyes. “‘Sister movie night’ obviously means ‘sister and her live-in girlfriend’ movie night.”

Mapi looked a bit surprised, though she shouldn’t have been. There were very few times that you just wanted to be with Ingrid, and those times were becoming less and less frequent as you began to depend on Mapi more and more. “You want me to watch with you?”

“Sí.” You said, almost exasperated. “Why wouldn’t I want you to hangout with us?”

“I just thought it was Engen sister time…” Mapi trailed off, looking uncharacteristically insecure.

“Engen León family time.” Ingrid amended, looking at you for approval. You nodded.

“Who else is going to talk the entire length of the film?” You asked, smirking and sprinting off down the stairs when Mapi gave you an offended look, Scout hot on your heels.

------

The movie had been a good distraction, not that Mapi or Ingrid really paid much attention to it. Instead, they kept glancing over at where you were curled up on the couch. Scout had taken his place next to you, one of his legs stretching out every now and then to kick in Mapi’s direction.

The conversation with them had obviously made you feel better, but they were still rather uneasy. You were acting completely normally, all of a sudden. And they didn’t buy it, not for a second. They weren’t sure what had happened, because you hadn’t said, but they knew that it wasn’t good. You’d been infatuated with Camila, and now you were reluctant to speak her name. Whatever had gone on had hurt you, deeply, but in the span of a few hours, you were acting like you were completely fine.

To you, it just felt like there was no use in thinking about it anymore. Crying over what happened, being sad or angry with Camila wouldn’t help you. It wouldn’t make you feel better. You’d very logically taken stock of your emotions, before deciding that they were completely useless. You were fine.

Well, maybe not, but you would be fine. Especially if you acted like nothing was wrong. Like you weren’t questioning every choice you’d made with Camila. Like you didn’t hate yourself. Emotions only had power if you gave it to them, you decided. Before, you might have been angry. Now, though, you just… forced it all off, far away. No feeling anything until it hurt less to think about what had happened.

It seemed like a good plan to you, and you stuck to it. Even when you couldn’t fall asleep that night, your mind swirling with horrible thoughts as you tried to push them away. Eventually, you gave up, putting on a show and forcing yourself to focus on that, instead.

It was obvious that you hadn’t slept the next morning, walking down to the kitchen like a zombie. Ingrid and Mapi were hoping you’d be a little more forthcoming with what had occurred today, but all hopes of that went out the window when you avoided eye contact with them, a hood pulled over your head, dark bags under your eyes. At least you there was no school, as you had the day off, but they had training, training they couldn’t miss. Neither of them felt very good about leaving you home alone, with no idea what was going on in your head.

You were blankly shoveling cereal into your mouth when Ingrid got your attention.

“Solstråle!” She said rather loudly. You jumped slightly, looking across the table at her in confusion. “I said your name 5 times. Did you not hear me?”

Ingrid didn’t sound mad, just worried, and you felt your throat tighten.

No. No. No tears. No sadness. That wouldn’t help. Self pity wouldn’t help. The only thing to do was to move forward.

“Sorry. I’m just tired. Had coffee too late yesterday, couldn't sleep.” You mumbled, turning your attention back to the ceramic bowl in front of you. Your thoughts wandered, briefly, to the fact that since you’d moved in, there hadn’t been a single day where there wasn’t a box of your favorite cereal in the pantry. You really must have been feeling the complete lack of sleep, because that thought alone almost had you tearing up.

“Come to training today. María is out on the grass, again, you can watch.” Ingrid suggested softly.

You shook your head though, swallowing the lump in your throat. You didn’t want to be far from them, but you also knew that if they kept being so nice to you, you weren’t going to be able to keep it together.

“I’m really tired, I just want to stay here.” You replied. Ingrid looked like she wanted to argue, but Mapi nodded from where she stood at the fridge, filling her water.

“That’s okay. Stay here, have a chill day. We’ll be back after lunch.” She walked over to you, squeezing your shoulder kindly. The Spaniard said goodbye, before exiting the kitchen. Ingrid hung back, not really caring at all that she might make them late.

Your sister stood from her spot at the table, and you mumbled a quiet goodbye, only looking up when she came to stand right next to you. Her hand pulled your hood down, her fingers tilting your chin up to look at her. Her face was pinched with concern, and you felt a pang of guilt that you were doing this again. Making them worry about you.

“Try to sleep or something? You looked exhausted, sweetheart. No runs or hikes or climbs, please. Just stay here?” Ingrid asked, making sure to frame her request as a question, and not a command.

“Okay.” You agreed, far too tired to even think about any of those things. You knew Ingrid just wanted you to stay where she knew you were, which was fine. You were honestly just surprised she hadn’t dragged you to training with her.

She lightly patted your cheek, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Be good. I love you.”

“Love you too. Play safe.”

You were wide awake, completely wired. Even as everything inside of you told you that you should be tired, you felt like you might never sleep again. You kept your promise to your sister, though, collapsing onto the couch and putting a show on. Scout came to lay with you, falling asleep easily in your lap. You were jealous of your dog, you realized. It was an amusing thought, but all you felt was… Empty. Nothing. Because if you let yourself laugh, you were sure it would turn into sobs, and you couldn’t do that.

You just had to be strong.

-------

You got into bed early that night, hoping that the added time laying down would help you fall asleep. You were so exhausted, truly, but as you laid in bed at 8pm, you knew instinctively that you wouldn’t be able to sleep again. Everytime you drifted off, your thoughts drifted too, and you’d jerk awake, struck with a reminder of what Camila had said. Her words were haunting you. Everytime you closed your eyes, you could see the sneer on her face as she spoke, and hear the cruel words she’d spoken.

You were beginning to think she was right about you. How were you so screwed up after a relationship ended that had only lasted a few weeks to begin with? You thought you loved her, yes, but you were being dramatic. You shouldn’t be this devastated, and in your head, this only reinforced that idea that Camila had been right. You were too immature. You were too messed up. No one was ever going to want to deal with you.

A soft knock on your door dragged you out of your thoughts, thankfully.

“Come in,” you called. Mapi pushed the door open, taking in the rather unnaturally clean room around her. You’d gone crazy cleaning the night before, putting away all the clothes strewn across the floor. It was neat and clutter free in there now, and Mapi’s heart melted at the sight of the framed photo on your nightstand. It was of the three of you, a candid that Frido had taken after a match. It was little things like this that made Mapi deeply happy, and deeply sad all at once. For six months you’d lived here, and they’d given you the space they thought you needed. It was so far from what you actually needed, though, and Mapi couldn’t help the guilt that filled her at the thought. All she and Ingrid could do now, though, was do better.

So, she entered your room, holding out a mug towards you. It was the one she’d picked out at Ikea, the one with the map and the sun. You knew for a fact that you’d used it this morning for your coffee, which meant Mapi must have pulled it out of the dishwasher and hand washed it herself, so she could bring it up to you.

“I made you tea.” She said, taking a seat on the edge of your bed as you grabbed the mug from her.

“Did you think caffeine would help me sleep?” You asked skeptically.

She rolled her eyes. “No, idiota, it is sleepytime tea. There’s no caffeine.”

You took a cautious sip, smiling a bit when you liked the taste.

“My mami always made it for me when I couldn’t sleep.” Mapi said quietly. “Thought it might help tonight since you decided to become nocturnal yesterday.”

Ingrid and Mapi really toed the line of parent vs. sister / guardian. It was often a sisterly relationship, you thought, with both of them. When you would tease each other, or argue about borrowing their clothes. Other times, it felt completely parent-y. When they’d make you go to bed early, or annoy you about studying for a test.

This situation definitely fell into the latter category, and you found that you minded it less and less.

“It’s good.” You told her, taking another sip. “And I didn’t decide to become nocturnal. It just kind of happened.”

Mapi hummed, looking around the room again. You just had the string lights above your bed on, the room lit also by the soft glow of the TV, as your favorite sitcom played. You’d lit a candle, and you were bundled up under the covers of your bed, clearly trying hard to be comfortable. Clearly trying very hard to sleep.

You looked so tired, it made her heart ache, and she knew Ingrid felt the same. Ingrid, who Mapi was absolutely sure was hovering outside the door, not wanting to overwhelm you. You seemed… fragile. Like you were one step away from breaking at any given moment, and neither of them wanted that to happen before you were ready. Ingrid was just as worried about you, though, and she’d only agreed not to go in if Mapi promised to make you promise something.

“Can you promise to wake us up tonight if you can’t sleep?” Mapi said finally, looking intently at you.

With a sigh, you shrugged. “What good would that do?”

“You wouldn’t have to be alone.” Mapi said simply, watching as a flicker of emotion flashed across your face. You didn’t have to be alone anymore. Sometimes you forgot. “If you don’t promise, Ingrid is probably going to come in here every hour or something and check on you.”

With a roll of your eyes, and a big sigh that you didn’t really mean, you nodded. “Fine.”

“Good.” Mapi grinned. “Goodnight, mi sol. Te quiero.”

“Goodnight.” You replied. “Tell Ingrid in the hall goodnight too.”

The Spaniard chuckled. “I will. Sleep tight.”

With that, she leaned down, pressing a kiss onto your forehead, before she slipped out of the room. Hushed whispers came from the hall and you smiled to yourself, just a bit. Ingrid was such a weirdo sometimes.

-------

It was around 2am when you broke. You’d tried everything you could think of to fall asleep, and nothing had worked. Worse, the lack of sleep was really getting to you and you were feeling ridiculously emotional. When you promised Mapi you’d wake them up if you couldn’t sleep again, you hadn’t meant it. Now, though, as you lay awake in your bed, tears threatening to fall, you really didn’t want to be alone. You weren’t sure how they could help, or even if you wanted help, but you knew that the indisputably healthy choice to make here would be to go to them. And you were trying to be better for yourself.

Even as Camila’s words rattled around in your head, and you were half convinced you were an awful person, about to become even worse by waking Ingrid and Mapi up, you got up from your bed, and walked down the hall.

There were a lot of notable moments in your time in Spain. A lot of them consisted of long, emotional talks with Ingrid and Mapi. And you knew that this was likely what you were headed for. It was naive to think you could hold everything that had happened in, keep it all to yourself. Especially when you’d kind of gotten used to sharing things with them, as horrifying as that thought was. You weren’t nervous, like usual, though. You just wanted them to tell you that everything she’d said was wrong.

Scout followed you down the hall, slightly annoyed that you’d woken him up when you got up. He liked to sleep with some part of him touching you, so it was inevitable that when you woke, Scout did too. Your sister’s bedroom door was open, and you peeked in, half second guessing yourself. Both of them were asleep. It was a cool night, by Barcelona’s standards, which was obvious by Mapi’s sweatshirt and sweatpants that she’d worn to bed, as well as the extra blanket pulled over her. Ingrid, on the other hand, had kicked the comforter off of her, sleeping in just a tshirt and shorts. They were laying facing each other, their hands tangled together, like they’d fallen asleep talking.

They were sleeping. They’d had a long week. They had training the following day. You shouldn’t wake them. They looked comfortable and peaceful, and you shouldn’t ruin that. You turned to go back to your room, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying at how utterly alone you suddenly felt.

You were sure you hadn’t made any noise, but still, a whispered voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Solstråle?” Ingrid asked quietly, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady. It evidently didn’t work, because not a second later, Ingrid was flicking the lamp on, looking at you with a sympathetic expression on her face. Next to your sister, her girlfriend huffed in annoyance, still practically asleep, pulling the covers up and over her head. Ingrid rolled her eyes, before fixing her attention back on you.

“Come here.” Ingrid instructed, gesturing you closer to the bed. You walked over, feeling ridiculously like a small child waking their parents up after a bad dream. “You can’t sleep?”

“No.” You said miserably, roughly wiping away a stray tear.

“How can I help? Do you want to talk?” She asked worriedly, brutally kicking Mapi in the shin as she did so, thinking that her girlfriend would be somewhat helpful in this situation, even if she was half asleep. The Spaniard grumbled unhappily, but emerged from under the covers just as you responded.

“I don’t know, I just can’t stop thinking about her.” You whispered, truly not confident that anything could make you feel better in that moment.

Mapi sat up, patting the middle of the bed invitingly. It was a king, and there was plenty of room, but you looked between her and Ingrid skeptically.

“I’m not a child.” You said a bit harshly, thinking of Camila calling you immature. If only she could see you now.

“We know. You just broke up with your girlfriend, though, and you haven’t slept in over a day. You are sad and exhausted, and it isn’t childish to need help.” Mapi said kindly, very dramatically scooching over so there was more room for you.

You floundered for a minute, not quite sure what to do. You were an adult. An adult. And Ingrid and Mapi were not your parents. The appeal was there, though, to climb into the bed and tell them everything. To let yourself break when you knew they’d keep track of all the pieces, and put you back together. “Can I have more tea?” You blurted out, looking at Mapi. You weren’t really sure where that came from, but she nodded enthusiastically, rising from the bed, practically taking off for the kitchen in a sprint.

“I’ll go make some!”

You turned back to Ingrid, chewing aggressively on your lip. She rolled her eyes at you, teasingly, before she pointendly looked between you and the bed.

“Get in the damn bed.” Ingrid sighed. It was easier, when she was telling you exactly what to do, because you didn’t have to worry about picking the wrong answer. You settled on the bed, right in the middle, and Ingrid threw an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to lean your head on her shoulder.

“Ingrid?” You said after a minute, so quietly, your sister almost missed it.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think I’m immature?” You asked.

Ingrid thought for a moment. “No. I think you’ve had to grow up really fast, and you’ve had to make a lot of big adjustments. You are more mature because of all of that. Why?”

You knew she would hate what you were going to say. “Camila said I was.”

Ingrid grew tense next to you. “That’s because she was a 26 year old woman dating an 18 year old. What was she fucking expecting?” Ingrid said venomously.

Mapi walked back into the room, taking care to be quiet, as it looked like you were deep in thought. She placed the mug of tea on her nightstand before she sat on the bed next to you, turning so she could see your face.

“Did she say anything else?” Ingrid asked cautiously.

You opened your mouth to tell her that, no, Camila hadn’t said anything else. Instead, words flowed out of your mouth that you hadn’t decided to say, but you were unable to contain them. “She called me jealous and immature. She said the ‘mommy issues’ were really obvious, that I was insecure and clingy, and that I wasn’t worth it. That no one would want to put up with me.”

You said it so forlornly, so resigned to what this awful woman had told you, Ingrid felt an anger she’d never experienced before rise within her. Neither she nor Mapi knew what to say right away, collecting their thoughts. You broke the silence again, though, after only a few seconds.

“I think she’s right.” You said, your voice breaking clearly. You pressed your hands to your face, body shaking with silent sobs.

“No, mi sol, no,” Mapi said softly, scooting closer to rest a hand on your knee.

Ingrid took a breath, trying to swallow her anger, rubbing your arm with her hand comfortingly. “Solstråle, you are none of those things. That awful woman has no idea who you are, not really. You are not immature, you are 18. There is a huge difference. And you are so much more than what happened with mom. You are so many good things despite mom, sweetheart, and Camila doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She just wanted to hurt you, none of that is true.” Ingrid said insistently.

“Why would she want to hurt me? I thought she liked me. I don’t understand.” You replied, still keeping your face hidden away in your hands.

“Because she isn’t a good person, and she doesn’t deserve you. And you don’t understand because you are good, mi sol. So good.”

“Then why do such horrible things keep happening?” You asked, voice raised slightly in frustration. You pulled your hands away from your face, looking between your sister and her girlfriend with a tearstained, bewildered face. “I’m trying to be good, I’m trying so hard, why is this so hard?”

Both girls felt their hearts break a little at your words. Ingrid wrapped both her arms around you, pulling you into her chest as you cried. “I know, Solstråle, it’s not fair. It’s going to get better. I promise you, it is.”

“I’m tired of everything being so hard.” You cried, shutting your eyes tightly as you spoke. You felt a soft hand brushing your hair away from your forehead, felt Ingrid leave a kiss on your forehead. “I’m tired.”

You meant it figuratively, and literally, and Mapi and Ingrid knew that very well. The best thing they could do for you now, would be to get you calm enough to sleep. It was happening without them trying very hard, honestly. You could barely keep your eyes open, even as soft sobs fell from your mouth.

“It’s not going to be hard forever. I promise you, mi sol.” Mapi said, looking intently at you, though you didn’t look back at her.

“I’m so tired.” You repeated, barely making sense. You were almost delirious with exhaustion, your emotional outburst only making it worse.

“Sleep, solstråle. We are right here. Everything will feel better in the morning. You aren’t going to feel like this forever. Just relax, and sleep. We love you so much.”

And even as you nodded, all the fight and worry of being too much for them flooding from your body, you wondered if they were right. If everything would feel better.

If anyone would ever really want you.

You drifted off ridiculously easily, curled up next to your sister, your brain going quiet for the first time in days. Once Ingrid was sure you were asleep, she turned to her girlfriend, who was tucking the blankets around you nice and tight.

“I am going to kill that girl.” Ingrid murmured, feeling absurdly protective over you.

“I will kill her first.” Mapi vowed.

“She isn’t allowed to date again until she’s 50.” Ingrid said, a frown etched on her face.

Mapi cracked a smile. “Good luck with that, mi amor.”

Ingrid shook her head. “I can’t stand to see her like this.”

The Spaniard turned serious again, nodding her agreement. “It’s gonna get better, Ingrid. It’s not going to be perfect, but she’s already better. She just needs time.”

“I wish I could take it from her, so she could just be happy all the time.” Ingrid admitted, flicking the lamp off, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“I do too.” Mapi whispered back. She and Ingrid looked at each other over your slumbering form, each seeing their exact feelings reflected in the other’s face, even with their features obscured by darkness. They just wanted things to be better for you. Easier and lighter and happier. They’d do anything, get you the moon if you wanted it. They didn’t consider if they were giving you all they could, that maybe you needed something else. They just promised themselves that they wouldn’t rest until you were happier, whatever it took. Whatever it took for you, because you were their sol, and nothing on earth was more important to them than your happiness.

-------

my name is girlgenius1111 and i like to make my fictional kid suffer give me all your thoughts on this installment of sol ☀️

#woso imagine #woso x reader #ingrid engen x mapí leon #ingrid engen x reader #mapi leon x reader #engen!reader #platonic reader #🍓☀️#woso one shot #woso fanfics

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extemts · 6 days

Note

Since you asked, I will be here kindly dropping an ask for a request to write something for Joost.

Do you do sweet jealousy? Where the reader is jealous? Nothig toxic obviously 😂

For example where now that he is gaining more love from people, and thus more attention from girls too, the reader pouts when he talks to this girl who approached him and she is a bit more touchy feely with him? While she is understanding and happy for him, naturally the jealousy can't be hold back.

Or whip something up that just flows from your imagination 😌

Thank you in advance!

Mwah 💋

Well, my boyfriends pretty cool, you will never reach him.

I love this one!! I always think about this ngl. People cross boundaries a lil too much, so this is your reminder to be aware of your surroundings.

requested? yes!

reader? gender neutral!

genre? jealousy, eventual fluff

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Cold post show beers, breezy hangouts behind the venue, thank you's being exchanged, it was all routine at some point. After his shows someone would get some cold beer while the crew enjoyed the nice breeze outside the venue after the show, just for everyone to cool down, especially Joost. You however stayed rather quiet today, your red hands wrapping around the ice cold bottle, the look in your eyes rather empty as you stare at your boyfriend and those girls next to him.

Unfortunately the area behind the venue seemed to be easily accessible to everyone, and while you were always happy for him to have fans that care so much, it would get hard to watch from time to time. He would never decline a photo with a fan, or an autograph, even the countless gifts he regularly got unless he was genuinely unwell, but the dutch singer was still high on adrenaline and already quite drunk, so he basically welcomed the group of girls with open arms, ready to listen to them. Typically this would really never be an issue, most people knew about your relationship and always supported it, even though you never made it public, so sometimes you were even asked to be in the photo along with them, but this particular group of girls seemed to be completely oblivious to the concept of personal space. One of them seemed particularly interested in him- she must have been your age aswell, at least the tattoos you could see on her body told you quite clearly that she was a grown woman. If it would have been a fourteen year old fangirl or something, you might have been able to excuse it.

There she stood, that grin on her face as she runs her fingers over the tattoos on Joost's arm, talking about how he looks oh so good with them. She kept getting more physical in subtle yet somehow obvious ways, to the point where he started looking awfully uncomfortable too, especially by the time he shot a glance at you only to see that pout and the empty look in your eyes as you stare at them. "Any plans after the show? You must be celebrating the end of your tour. I know a really cool club just around the corner, maybe I'll see you there." she eventually let her fingers drift off of his arm as she gives him one last little wave before leaving with her friends, still giggling carelessly like she didn't have a worry in the world. Once he was free of her again, you felt Joost sitting down next to you, your eyes piercing through the ground until he wrapped his arm around you, making you look up at him again. "I'm sorry sweetheart, some people don't know boundaries..." he whispers as not to pull the attention of the rest of the crew on you, somehow making the accent in his voice even more prominent by doing so. He leans in and starts posting soft kisses along your jawline, knowing damn well this is a ticklish spot for you.

It cheered you up, made you chuckle again before pushing his face away with your hand, trying to break free from the tickling feeling. "Now don't just push me away!" he starts acting all offended, gasping at your behavior before he goes right back to attacking your face with a swarm of soft little pecks all over, his arms wrapped around you so you truly have no way of escaping, if you even wanted that.

okaaaay lets go

#joost klein #joost klein fanfiction #joost #joost klein x reader #fanfiction #eurovison song contest #europapa

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foxy-eva · 1 year

Text

Lavender & Lace

Summary: Spencer didn't know how much fun going shopping with his girlfriend would be

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: (18+, minors DNI) lingerie, semi-public sex (in a dressing room), almost getting caught, fingering, unprotected penetrative sex

Word Count: 1.6k

Masterlist

When you initially asked Spencer to come shopping with you, he expected to see you in different options for new work attire, maybe some casual clothes as well. What he hadn't expected was you grabbing one piece of very alluring lingerie after the other with the prospect of letting him see you wearing each of them.

Spencer, currently standing right behind you, was holding four different types of bras for you while you inspected some more underwear that would leave very little to the imagination.

With a smirk spread over your face, you wondered, "What do you think about this one?"

"Uhm…," was all Spencer had to say to that.

It was getting harder by the second for Spencer to not imagine you wearing all those tempting clothing options. He knew that if he'd allow his mind to wander that things could get very inappropriate very quickly. There was no denying the disadvantages of the male anatomy when it came to impure thoughts in a public place.

"I think I'll just have to try on everything!" You chirped as you grabbed your boyfriend's hand to lead him to the fitting rooms.

When you wanted to pull him into the confined space, Spencer hesitated, asking, "You want me to go in there with you?"

"I need to know what you think." Pointing at the clothes Spencer was still holding for you, you added, "Unless you want me to walk out of the dressing room for everyone to see me wearing this."

After contemplating his options for a split second, Spencer stepped into the changing room with you and closed the curtain behind him. Sitting down on the little chair in the corner, he handed you the first bra to try on. You were quick to undress and noticed how Spencer's cheeks began glowing once your chest was exposed.

It was obvious how hard he tried to be respectful but he couldn't help but shyly take a glimpse of your curves. You found his reaction endearing, especially knowing how different he usually was when he saw you naked in another context.

"Spencer, you have seen them a million times," you giggled.

He found your eyes and corrected you, "It's only been 158 times. And I still can't believe how beautiful you are."

For a moment you tried to recount if this number could be accurate but you knew Spencer never made a mistake when it came to math. You almost wanted to tell him that you couldn't believe he knew the exact number but the truth was, you weren't surprised at all.

Spencer's eyes followed every one of your moves a lot more blatantly than before as you tried on the first piece of clothing. You started with the most modest one, a bra with a color similar to your skin tone you could wear in your everyday life. Your boyfriend almost seemed relieved when you picked that one to try on first.

"It works but it's not really what I'm looking for," you said as you reached back to unclasp it.

Once again Spencer's eyes fell to your chest and you couldn't help but laugh, "My eyes are up here."

"Sorry," he mumbled, his entire face colored in a lovely rosy shade.

You reached for a more alluring piece of lingerie, something you thought Spencer would really like on you.

As you brushed over the lavender-colored lace, you announced, "I think I'll try that one next."

Spencer audibly gulped before clearing his throat but he didn't say anything. Once the bra was in place, you noticed how thin the fabric was. It was barely covering the curve of your breast and your nipples were visible. Nothing you owned came even close to how daring this bra was.

Spencer noticed that, too.

He also noticed how his pants suddenly got a lot tighter, his attempt to keep his thoughts decent failed at last. His mind raced to a image of you wearing that piece of lingerie together with a matching pair of panties that he would just push aside to fuck you.

The soft tone of your voice brought him back to reality. "Could you help me adjust the straps?"

He got up from the chair, aware that he was unable to hide the bulge in his pants from you. At this point he had already abandoned his hope to be able to keep up a decent demeanor.

"Looks like you really like this one," you purred once you noticed.

Spencer stood behind you, finding your eyes in the mirror.

"I do," he confirmed. "I love that color on you."

When his fingertips made contact with the skin of your back, a shiver ran down your spine. He was quickly done with adjusting the straps of the bra but let his hands linger anyway. His eyes were dark and filled with lust, a look you usually only got to see when you were alone with him.

"What are you thinking?" You breathed as if it wasn't obvious.

Still acting too reserved for your liking, he answered,"I'd rather not say."

You didn't let go just yet, encouraging him to speak his mind by saying, "No need to be shy."

Spencer leaned down to find your ear, his breath feeling hot against your neck when he groaned, "I'm thinking about what I want to do later."

One of your hands reached back to feel his hardness through his pants, whispering, "Why wait?"

"We're in public," he reminded you as he removed your hand despite his desperation to find some relief.

Your hands flew to your pants, undoing them as you cooed, "Guess I'll have to be quiet then."

Spencer looked at you in disbelief, clearly hesitating to bring to action what both of you longed for. Once your pants dropped to the floor, there was no more holding back. He pressed himself against your back and let his hands wander over your body. One of them made contact with the curve of your breasts, brushing over the thin lace of the bra until your peaks hardened.

The other hand descended down your stomach until his fingertips carefully parted your folds to access your most sensitive spot. He teased you for a few moments until he was certain you were ready for him. With a firm push against your shoulder he slightly bent your body until your palms met the mirror.

His mouth found your ear once more, breathing, "One sound and I'll stop."

When you heard the sound of him undoing his belt, you felt like you might lose your mind. Gone was any trace of the shy man who barely dared to take a look at the lingerie you picked out. The way he let his eyes roam over your figure now excited you more than you could put into words.

Through the mirror you watched him spit in his palm to give himself a few strokes. You stood on your tiptoes and tilted your hips a little more to give him access to your body. He didn't hold back in the slightest, pushing into you with one swift motion while his mouth kissed along your neck. Biting down on your own lips, you tried your best to hold back the moans that usually escaped your mouth in moments like this.

The sensation of creating such an intimate moment in an almost public setting like this was too much for you to handle. Usually Spencer took his time with you, teasing you with slow thrusts until you begged for more. Today was different. He pushed into you with purposeful motions, making it clear that he wanted you to fall over the edge within just a few moments.

You locked eyes with him through the mirror and admiring the rosy shade spread all over his cheeks and neck. It was obvious how much he was enjoying this moment, almost forgotten was the possibility that someone could disturb the two of you.

Until you heard a stranger's voice from the other side of the curtain.

Spencer instantly stopped moving while placing his hand over your mouth. You were sure that this would be the end of your encounter, making you abandon your mission before either of you had found relief. But your boyfriend just listened and waited with a lot more patience than you'd expected.

It appeared that the stranger was talking to someone else and soon walked away from their place right in front of your dressing room. When he was sure that nobody knew about the lewdness happening behind the curtain, Spencer began moving again, harsher and quicker than before.

"You better hurry or we'll get caught," he whispered before kissing the side of your face.

He kept his hand on your mouth, not fully trusting you to stay quiet. It proved to be the right choice once you entered a state of pure bliss, the sounds of your pleasure muffled by Spencer’s hand pressed against your lips. The second he felt you pulsing around his hardness, he let go as well. He shared your warmth with you until neither of you had anything left to give.

When your bodies parted, the remains of your shared desire began dripping down your thighs. Spencer was quick to hand you a tissue from your purse and helped you clean up any evidence of impropriety.

Once both of your pants were back in place, Spencer found your eyes and softly asked, "Are you okay?"

Smiling at him, you nodded, "Yes, are you?"

"Yeah but…," he paused and placed his hands on your waist, gently moving them up until they brushed over the purple lace of the bra. "I think I'll need to see you wearing that again at home."

"That can be arranged," you snickered. "I'm pretty sure there's also a matching pair of panties."

After placing a kiss on your lips, Spencer chuckled, "I can’t wait to see that."

If you enjoyed reading this story you should check out the other fics in my NSFW Masterlist!

Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @spookydrreid @gspenc @justreadingficsdontmindme @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @pauline5525mgg @sanaz1dlol @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @s4r4hsblog @sebs-oxygen @beepbooptoop @lovejules888 @liltimmyst @encyclo-reid-ia @lilibet261 @fandomstuffff @spencer-reid-wonderland @happymangospot @conniesanchor @reaux02 @ellamaianderson @cynbx @dashneydanger @melifluorei-d @bitchassbecky691 @iameternallylonely @hotchandspencearedilfs @kobaltdragon @amititties @lover-of-books-and-tea @castiels-majestic-wings @torigorie @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @reidtopia @velvetthunder93 @cncoxlifeline @jordie-gvf-admin @saturnstringz @missabsey

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#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction

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shortstrawberry · 5 months

Note

OKAY HI can I please request a oneshot of possessive Donna/mc being all fluffy and wholesome and possessive because mc finished their exams and they haven't seen each other for a while because of exam season? Please and thank you ♥️

"I'm back--oof!"

You had barely stepped into the flower shop before you were glomped by a figure clad in black. Well, someone is really happ to see you.

You knew Donna must probably be waiting for your exam to finish and you to come back, but you didn't exactly expect to be greeted this way.

You hugged Donna back, your arms encircling her waist, clutching at her black shirt. You felt the older woman's arms tightening around you in response.

"Cazzo, fuck. I missed you dolcezza. I missed you so much"

Donna nuzzled her nose against your neck, burying her face in your shoulder. God, you could almost melt in this woman's arms. She's as warm as the sunlight that shines in the greenhouse every morning.

Knowing how tough Donna is beneath her oversized clothes, you squeezed her as tight as you can. After being away from her for over two weeks, you just want to make a home inside her and never leave.

"I told you I could visit in between. But you refused!"

Donna groaned against your neck, before peppering several needy kisses against your skin there.

"I know, I know, and I regretted every single time I refused, Dolcezza. But I needed to make sure you do well in your exam."

"Why? What harm would one visit have done?"

Donna pulled back, looking down at you with a gleam in her gray eyes.

"I would never have let you go back, Dolcezza. We can't have that during your exam, right?"

Aah, yes. Its getting harder and harder for your florist to let you go back to the dorm. Hell, it's hard for you to sleep alone in your dorm bed. You miss the warmth of your broody dollmaker. You know it's only a matter of time when you yourself move into Donna's little cottage.

You reached up to kiss Donna's lips in thanks. Despite her obvious desire for you to stay around her, she would always put your studies above her. You adore just how sweet and selfless Donna is.

"Thank you for your patience. But I'm here now, and not going anywhere."

Donna pulled you closer, a slow mischievous smile coming on her full lips.

"Careful with your words, love. I might take them seriously."

You kiss her again, this time longer than before.

"I want you to take them seriously."

Donna blinked, and you swear you see tears in the corner of her beautiful eyes. You immediately cup her face in your hands, your eyes looking up at her in concern.

"Donna? What's wrong?"

The older woman shook her head to assure you, but you didn't miss the slight wobble of her lips.

"It's nothing, dolcezza."

You refuse to believe that.

"C'mon, it cannot be nothing. Tell me."

Donna's shoulders finally sagged, and her hands curled on your back.

"It's just, I thought you'd never come back. Every single day for the past two weeks, I waited in front of the door, hoping to see just a glimpse of your face. So, to finally have you back in my arms, it's a joy unlike any other. Impazzirò di gioia, dolcezza."

You wanted to remind your precious wallflower that you had texted Donna every single morning and night. But you know that isn't the same reassurance for Donna. For some reason, unless and until you're in front of Donna's eyes, she would believe that you'll leave any time.

You wonder just what makes your strong florist so insecure. But now is not the right time. Maybe sometime later, when you both are together under the same sheets.

For now, you will reassure her with words you always say to her.

"I'll come back to you. I'll always come back to you, sweetheart."

Donna pressed her lips against you, whispering on your mouth.

"Always?"

You hummed against her, letting yourself fall against the florist.

"Always."

#resident lover #donna beneviento #requests open #resident evil village #wlw #anons welcome #resident evil #possessive Donna #fluff

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cer-rata · 23 days

Note

Fav batfam ships?

See, making that plural was a mistake, dear Anon, because now I have an excuse to list one for every member I care about and also explain myself--

In no particular order:

Bruce and Talia: Partially because I am god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier and can ignore anything racist and OOC in all of her depictions over the last 20 years. I honestly think it's hilarious how disgustingly horny they are for each other and how absolutely stupid they get when left alone together. 10/10 so funny I could die, let them be dumb together as a treat.

Dick and Koriand'r: Listen. It's basic. They have problems, they've always had problems, but when the story and editorial direction allows for it they make each other so happy. Two traumatized kids from across the stars that find a moment of safety with each other? I am a simple man, it compels me.

Kate and Renee: I'm a sucker for disaster lesbians. I am. They are the avatars of lesbian disaterism and honestly good for them, keep making Aphrodite wildly upset with how hard you both can fumble a baddie, laddies.

Stephanie and Cassandra: It's popular for a reason! They are so wildly different while being weirdly similar! They care about each other in ways that are so genuine and raw, but aren't always helpful to the other party! Visually they look like a classic emo/sunshine ship, but if you investigate even a little bit it's quickly obvious that their dynamic is much weirder and more interesting. See also: the above disaster lesbians (wlw specifically here but the sentiment stands) thing.

Barbara and...Kara(?): ...This is my badly substantiated rarepair that also relies on a reality where Kara wasn't aged down. I just...it is one of the two variations of Superbat that compels me, and it purely comes down to the intensity of their personalities, the emotional weight they both carry, their intense understanding of loss and duty, and the fact that as Oracle and Supergirl they manage to have similarly heavy responsibilities on their shoulders.

Damian and Jon: The other variation of Superbat that compels me. Look. They've never got to have any consistent, wholesome, appropriate or healthy close relationships with any other viable options first off, so this isn't hard. Second, their arcs are literally designed to compliment each other, and the groundwork for that was laid out for sooo many issues. It's the opposite of Babs and Kara where there is actually so much content to be compelled by that it circles back to being painful again. Now, to be clear, I have no interest in anything happening with them unless and until they are allowed to be adults, mostly because I think those character arcs need come to completion before anything more than being best buds happens. Also, as god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier, the volcano didn't happen, Jon is going age normally and get to go to high school, they're going to fix it okay, there's a space whale--

Tim and Jason are in a weird "Y shaped" poly situation with a hairy bear named "Intensive Mental Health Care": No I will not be elaborating further.

Duke and ???: I love Duke. I have not been compelled by a ship for him yet. I know Tom King tried to make him and Gotham Girl a thing but...who wants that? I even like Gotham Girl enough to write for her, but WHO WANTS THAT!?

Anyone else I really haven't thought enough about to include...however....

HONORABLE MENTIONS THAT I DON'T WANT BUT SOMEHOW COMPEL ME:

Bruce and Minhkhoa: So funny, almost a parody of Bruce in a MLM ship, painfully comedic, Khoa is a disaster of a man and the most down bad creature on earth, beating even Talia on the obsession angle. Never let them prosper, never let them get it together, let me feast on this crack made canon.

Bruce and Selina: I DO like me some batcat, but I'm really more interested in Selina getting to be her own thing nowadays. Escape the bat-love interest curse girl, maybe go kiss an amazon or something.

Kon and Cassandra: Don't want this, but I am truly taken by the fact that was even a thing that was considered for 30 seconds. Insane. Insane pairing. Batshit. Kind of endearing? But please never again.

Barbara and Dinah: Listen 90's BoP (and often after too) was full of so much sexual tension between these two that it was almost suffocating. The one-night stand that they both fondly think about later, but told no one about? It needed to happen, but that's the end of it for me.

#headcanons #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #talia al ghul #jon kent #damian wayne #i'm not tagging everyone #shut up cerata #shipping #batfamily #cerata ships #sometimes

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sizzlinbaconpeach · 10 months

Note

I'm sorry but it's ridiculous that you ship them romantically unless there are pictures of Jill and Chris like this, they're just partners and friends in arms and they don't have feelings for each other.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/2f2638883b9d0d8c7e8b2691d5f37667/f71e4854a5101f7a-ee/s640x960/1f0057caacb4c01dfffa18e2f912d87c37ab560b.pnj

Hello! I do not want to start any shipping wars. So, please do not see my replies as an attack on you or your ship. I'm simply sharing what I see in the ship that I enjoy as an explanation to your questions. No hard feelings. I respect your perspective, but I hope you can respect that I have a slightly different one. I fully admit, I want to ship them (Valenfield) romantically, but I can also see them as just work partners and friends.

That's what I like about their relationship - they've worked together for so many years that, in my mind, they practically act like they're married. BUT, I do see how others don't see them as romantically involved (especially since it seems Capcom likes to drop subtle hints and then gaslight them later XD). I haven't seen the newest CGI film (yet), but I bet it just keeps their relationship pretty platonic (which I anticipate).

It's just a pairing that I grew to love as I delved into the RE universe.

RE5 in particular made me ship them haaarrrrdd. They both fought for each other so desperately and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. And it didn't really hit me until I took the time to think about what they've both been through and how much they mean to each other. When I first played RE5 I didn't really understand it. It wasn't until I looked into their history a little more and then read a lot of the surrounding media (like the in game character files, etc) that it struck me just how intertwined Chris and Jill are and have always been in the franchise - then I started shipping them pretty hard.

The first time I watched their reunion scene in RE5, after gaining this new insight, I was trying my best to hold back tears. Like, she died for him and suffered mind-control to save him. And he was the one that freed her from it. He never stopped looking for her (Kind of like the classic lovers trope of knowing the other is alive).

And then the flood gates opened as Chris left the elevator all sad after leaving Jill's side. It was just so obvious to me how much it hurt Chris to have to leave Jill again after searching for her for years.

To me, the writers make it pretty clear just how much Valenfield mean to each other - the real purpose for Chris to even be in Africa was to find Jill. I guess there is a tragedy to their relationship that I can appreciate. Like... how different their lives might have been if bio-terrorism was never a threat. Or at least, if it didn't continually screw with their lives. I can't help but feel like maybe they would have pursued a relationship with each other if things hadn't become so hectic. But instead they were stuck in this 'not the right time' sort of limbo because they have to focus on taking down the next threat. And instead of them being able to enjoy some of their successes in the fight, they come out more battered and bruised. More broken than before. And that's just really sad.

I'm obviously not going to convince you (and that's okay!) as you must have your own preferred ship, but, since this is my blog, I'm going to share more potential romantic (and canon) Valenfield:

Also, some quotes from an official RE5 Japanese guidebook:

"...Chris' chest is filled with an indescribable emptiness. Many comrades have been sacrificed to repair the errors of fools. Even if the world is saved, these friends will never return. He had lost his irreplaceable former partner." "...Chris is staring hard at a statue of a sleeping beauty. He's like a person looking at his lover through a mirror, where the other side of the mirror is a different dimension. [regarding the picture of Jill in a Tricell test tube] ... Despite that, Chris is able to recognize the person. He has been chasing this lead all the while, just so he can repair the missing piece of his heart. This can't be a mistake, nor an illusion. This is a fact."

Indescribable emptiness? Irreplaceable? Looking at his lover? Missing piece of his heart?? Well slap me upside the head and shake the Valenfield outta me, but that's some pretty strong love language if you ask me.

And again, it's totally okay if you don't ship them! I can totally see how they could just be close partners, and you can enjoy whatever ship you'd like.

I only hope I can help you understand a little better why I like the Valenfield ship. And yes, I do admit I'm probably a little too fanatical about it. Sorry ;; BONUS:

#answer #valenfield #this ship makes me feel things T-T #however you view them - they have a strong bond

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eratolasting · 2 years

Note

hiii! can i request eddie smut where he finds sex toys in your room and like uses them on reader/punishes them? thank u!

Summary: Eddie finds your box of toys and decides to use one on you.

Warnings: Smut, pet names, oral, sex toys, mentions of past sex.

MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY

You were lounging on your bed, laying on your belly as you flipped through a history textbook and neatly wrote notes on the pad of paper next to it. Your midterm was coming up and you were nervous about it. So, you wanted to make sure you jotted down all relevant information from the book and maybe, somehow, it would become ingrained in your mind.

"I told you college was a bad idea. Look at where I am." Eddie teased you from his spot in your closet. He had gotten bored waiting for you to get finished, so he decided to take it upon himself to look through your things.

You didn't care. You had nothing to hide. Not really.

Unless he looked under your bed.

But, you were distracted.

"Shut up, Munson. You know I can't just do what I want, like you. I have to get a degree for it." And you would work damn hard for it, too.

"I know, I know." He rolled his eyes as he pulled out a pair of your old panties.

"Holding out on me, babe." He teased, shaking them.

"I wear those when I'm on my period." You told him, rolling your eyes.

He laughed and put them back.

You scribbled down another few notes, totally entranced in what you were doing before you noticed him holding the box you kept under your bed. You lurched forward to grab it, but he pulled it out of the way, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, now I really gotta see what's in here." He said, amused, as he inched the lid off.

"Eddie, please don't -" You whined, your face feeling hot at the thought.

He smirked at you, "What, princess? Got your porn magazines in here?" He asked.

"No, but Eddie-" You made a grab for it again. But much against your efforts to keep him from opening it, your hand hit the lid off.

You groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

"Oh, baby…" He cooed softly to you. On the top of the box, you knew, were polaroids of him, spent after sex. There were even a few he had taken while fucking you. And you definitely used those.

"You use these pictures to get off, don't you? You missing me in the middle of the night when I can't be here to fuck your little pussy raw?" He teased you, his voice pitching a little deeper.

It was obvious the thought turned him on.

You nodded, swallowing thickly.

He put the polaroids aside and pulled out a shirt, one of his shirts and he grinned at you. But it shortly fell after his eyes caught on what was hidden underneath the shirts. His brows raised and his brown doe eyes widened.

You groaned, embarrassed, as he dropped the shirt on the bed and pulled out a bright pink toy.

He swallowed, for once not saying anything as he dug through the box. It was like he had to find everything in there or else he was going to die.

"Shit, babe." He finally spoke. He looked at you with a cocky smirk. "I knew you touched yourself, but I didn't know you used this stuff."

"Eddie, just put it away." You whined to him.

"Oh, no, no. If you think these things can satisfy you like I do-"

"I don't, I don't." You said quickly.

"-then I think we're just gonna have to use them."

You blinked at him, and swallowed.

"Put your stuff away, baby." He said to you gently, as he picked the pink dildo back out of the box and grabbed a small bottle of cooling lube from it.

You obediently shut your book and placed it on your bedside table with the notepad.

He put everything else back in the box and climbed onto your bed, pressing the tip of the dildo against your lips. You parted them, taking it into your mouth.

"Not as big as me. I know you can't fuck yourself like I do, baby."

You moaned softly around the toy as he slowly fucked it in and out of your mouth. You knew he was right. The toy wasn't as big as him, nor could you make yourself cum like he could.

"Good girl.." he hummed, shoving the dildo a little deeper into your mouth. You relaxed your mouth and throat, taking it deep. Your hands were clenched into fists in your lap.

You were, shamefully, wet from this. Heat flooding between your legs as he slid it as far as it would go into your mouth, making you gag softly.

Finally, after a while, he gave in the torture and pulled it from your mouth. He leaned in and kissed your lips, so hard your teeth clashed together.

"Take your panties off, slut." He growled to you, and ever obedient you did, sliding them off of your legs from beneath your skirt. You tossed them away and took a breath as he pressed you down onto your back.

"Bend your knees."

You did, bending your knees up and spreading your legs for him.

He licked his lips as he looked straight at your core. You knew what he was thinking about, and you wished he'd do it. You wished he would devour your pussy and make you cum.

But, he had other plans.

He flicked open the bottle of lube and poured it over the dildo, then used his hand to spread it over it. He dropped the bottle of lube to the side and placed the tip of the toy against your folds.

"You're already so wet. Who knew you were such a little slut? Hm? Getting wet for a cock that's not mine."

He slapped your thigh, and you cried out, grasping at the duvet on your bed. He slapped your other thigh for good measure, and since you had been expecting that one you didn't cry out nearly as loudly.

You could feel the tingle from the cooling lube he'd put on the dildo as it brushed over your folds and over your clit, making you jolt forward slightly.

"God, look at you." He tsked. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you, baby."

"Please, Eddie," You whined. At this point you didn't care if it was him or the dildo, you just needed something inside of your aching cunt.

He chuckled down at you and finally let it slide inside of you. You gasped, feeling the lube cool your hot insides. Your back arched.

"Fuck, look at you take this, baby. So good…such a needy pussy."

You moaned as he pulled it out and pressed it back into you before finding a slow, deep pace. His other hand reached up and started rubbing your clit.

Your toes curled, and you pressed your thighs together.

"Ah, ah, princess. Let me see." He told you.

Slowly, you let your legs open up again, and he chuckled down at you.

"This thing doesn't spread you as good as I do, huh? You still feel empty, baby?" He asked, as he pumped it a little faster into you.

"Yes!" You cried out, "Fuck, yes, I'm empty, please Eddie-"

He hummed, tilting his head to the side. "I dunno, baby, I think this is all you deserve."

You felt like you could cry.

His fingers toyed with your clit like he was playing a guitar solo on it. Your hips jolted upwards.

"I think this is all you get, baby. Since you think you can fuck yourself as good as I do."

This was torture.

You clamped down on the toy, trying to feel fuller. It didn't work. It just made your insides ache for him more.

"I felt that, baby." He chuckled, and leaned down to kiss you softly. "C'mon, you know I'm just playing with you. But I want to see you cum on this toy. Wanna see what you look like when you fuck yourself."

You swallowed thickly and nodded, relaxing onto the bed as he sped up both hands. Your eyes fluttered shut.

"Shit, look at me." He hissed.

Your eyes snapped open and fell on his. You panted softly, your heart racing. His eyes were always so fucking pretty. You thought you could die and be happy.

He shifted the toy slightly, and you cried out loudly as it pressed into that spongy patch inside of you. Your back arched as he relentlessly fucked into it with the toy.

"That's it baby, c'mon." He praised you. "You can do it. You can cum for me."

You nodded, biting your lip hard as he continued fucking you, egging you on.

Finally, finally, you got released, the knot in your belly snapping as heat flooded. You saw stars for a moment as you moaned and cried out his name. He always fucked you so fucking good.

Even with toys.

#thanks for the request!#i had fun with this one #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut #smut

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 2 years

Text

Hopeless

Steve x reader, Steve constantly going on dates, tries to make reader jealous by talking about them to her, reader does get jealous but instead of showing it, simply begins distancing herself when she knows he’s been on a date as it hurts to hear it. Steve thinking she doesn’t like him. Her thinking Steve doesn’t like her. Hopeless idiots in hopeless love. Mutual pining. Much idiocy.

Warnings; Angst, mutual pining, fluff.

❤

Yn had been crushing on Steve for as long as she could remember but while she nursed her crush he had proceeded to date plenty of girls while she ended up heartbroken and jealous.

How many times was she going to put herself through this heartache before she got the hint that he would never feel the same?

Every time she had to hear about his dates it hurt more and more and she hated it. Couldn't he see how she felt about him?

She was tired of feeling the sting of unrequited love and so she had slowly begun distancing herself from Steve every time he had a date.

If he found out how she felt it would be so embarrassing. Especially as he didn't feel the same way. All she would do was ruin their friendship and she didn't want that.

Robin had called her and Steve oblivious idiots.

"It's so obvious he feels the same!" Robin told her during their shift at Family Video.

"If he felt the same why not just tell me instead of going on these dates?" She asks Robin frustrated.

God, men could be so confusing with how they acted. If Steve did feel the same why not just say so?

"Look, I don't know why the dingus is doing it. Maybe to make you jealous? Provoke a reaction so you tell him how you feel? You'll never know unless you say how you feel"

And then she ruins everything by finding out he sees her as a friend and only a friend? Not likely.

❤

At home, Steve was in turmoil, no matter how many girls he dated yn didn't seem to care.

He tried to make her jealous to see if she felt the same but the most it did was make her distance herself from him and now he was worried she didn't like him.

He tells all of this to Nancy who looks at him like he's an idiot.

"Steve Harrington. Why do you think that dating other people would be a good idea? If yn does feel the same as you then she is probably confused and thinks that you don't like her back*

Steve shakes his head.

"She doesn't feel the same way Nance, I'm telling you" Nancy mutters to herself, she spent the night discussing this with Robin and they were both sick of yn and Steve dancing around each other's feelings.

"You are both so oblivious I swear". She groans rubbing her forehead.

After another night of listening to the two of them pining, Robin and Nancy had heard enough and when it was yn's shift with Steve they made sure to stay well clear of the store so the two could talk...

Honestly, the two of them would never confess at this rate.

❤

Steve was once again going on about his date and she was beyond sick of hearing about it.

This girl was called Meghan and each word Steve said made her heart more and this time it was hard to keep her emotions under control.

Steve seemed to sense her change of mood straight away and she hastily tried to wipe her tears away.

"Hey? What's wrong?" she stares at him stunned and wonders if he really is that oblivious?

This time she snaps because she is sick of hiding her feelings.

"Do you really not know how I feel about you!" he freezes and his demeanour changes straight away.

"How do you feel about me, sweetheart?" he asks tenderly and wipes her tears away.

"Does it matter? You don't feel the same way, do you? You're always going on dates and talking about the girls and never noticed me"

He gapes.

"Sweetheart, I'm crazy about you. Shit, I should have shown it a different way. I thought if I dated all those girls then you would get jealous. It was stupid, I should have just told you how I felt about you"

She sighs.

"Would have been easier Steve, I didn't think you liked me at all" he softens.

"I should have told you but I'm telling you now, I want to be with you sweetheart". He strokes her cheek and leans into kiss her.

"Finally" they break apart for a millisecond to see Nancy and Robin watching them with relieved looks in their faces.

"Seriously! We were considering an intervention you know" Robin exclaimed and Nancy rolls her eyes.

"Oblivious, totally oblivious both of you" Steve grins.

"Oh, you want to talk about oblivious Nance? What about your crush on..." Nancy glares at him and Robin looks confused.

"Crush on who?" She asks and Nancy shakes her head .

"No one" she replies hurriedly and when they both leave she turns to Steve.

"And they call us oblivious?" Steve says to her amused and she giggles takes his hand and gently pulls him in for a kiss again.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff

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hide-in-imagination · 2 months

Note

Ok you've written various versions of thIs so I just have to ask... What do you think is Simon and Ambar sexual experience before each other?

Oof, that's a hard question.

If we consider which countries they're both from and the average age in which people usually lose their virginities in those countries, then both of them shouldn't have been virgins by the start of the series (usually those first experiences are around 15 or 16)

BUT we have to consider their personalities too and their backgrounds, because they might not be the average teen.

If we only considered Season 3, then we'd have to say that they were not virgins because there's no fucking way with the sexual tension oozing out of them both. HOWEVER, I feel like a lot of the actors was slipping into the characters during that season, both of them 20-something adults with obvious previous sexual experience, so I feel like judging on Season 3 events would be an statistical mistake.

So, we'd have to judge based on Season 1 and Season 2 alone. In season 1, Ámbar has her 17th birthday, and it is mentioned many times, I believe, that she and Matteo had been dating for a long while previous to the start of the series, so, basing ourselves on that and, like I said, the average age in Argentina, we'd have to assume that Ámbar and Matteo had sex at some point (or, if not p-in-v sex, they at least did a lot of the other stuff that also count as sex)

The only thing that makes me question it is that, you know, Ámbar and Matteo didn't have the closest relationship from what we see in Season 1? Matteo seemed very dismissive of Ámbar and Ámbar looked like she was with him because he was cool and on the same level as her so they made sense as a couple and she loved the idea of them together more than Matteo himself. However, as many of you might know, you don't exactly need to have deeper feelings for someone to have sex with them 😂 And they were hormonal teenagers, so all they really needed was some mutual attraction and the opportunity to be alone (which I assume both of them would have plenty of considering they're portrayed as rich kids who their parents usually leave alone as long as they do well in school and stuff.) Now, would Ámbar want to be that vulnerable with Matteo? You know, the whole letting someone else see you naked and/or literally inside you. I would have to say no, she wouldn't. BUT, again, maybe she just didn't see it that way and it was just sex, just an activity that regular teenagers do with their partners, and I know that the Ámbar back then would want to 'be cool' and look cool in front of her peers, so she would definitely want to have sexual experience because, otherwise, she could look lame, especially if she'd been dating her boyfriend for a long time. It would be 'expected' of them to have sex, and Ámbar would want to meet those expectations.

So, going for that logic, I assume Ámbar did have sexual experience prior to the series. Definitely not an emotionally-based one though.

Now, let's go for Simón.

Simón is older than most characters in the show when it starts (we know because he already finished high school.) Now, it is never stated how old exactly he is (I've seen some magazines give him some age or another but, as I've been informed, those were not official), but we can assume he was either just turned 18 (Like, he turned 18 right before the start of the show) or he turned 19 at some point of season 1 that they didn't show.

If we based ourselves on the average age at which teenagers lose their virginity, and especially MALES, then there's no freaking way he would still be a virgen unless he was considered ugly or incredibly unpopular due to his personality, but I think we can agree he's neither of those things.

HOWEVER, the opposite thing to Ámbar happens here in which I think Simón would only do sexual things with someone he had an emotional connection with. He's shown as this very sensitive, golden retriever guy from the very start of the show, so while I know that that can totally co-exist with a rowdy, extensive sexual history in real life, I just can not believe that it would be the case for him. I just can't picture it.

So it all would come down to, Did Simón have a long-term girlfriend before the show? I gotta say it seems unlikely, because the only ex we're shown is Daniela, which, I believe, is mentioned they only had one summer together?? Or a summer thing that wasn't really a relationship?? You'll have to excuse me if I don't remember that right, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't think Simón would go all the way with a girl he'd only been seeing for the summer. Sure, it could look 'romantic' in his head, but no way. I think it would seem too fast for him, and he also wouldn't want to get too deeply invested in a relationship that he knew was not going to last beyond the summer.

In addiction to this, we're also led to believe that Simón has been in love with Luna for a looong time and he just hadn't realized it yet. (Whether that's true or if it was everyone's insistence that made him start looking at his feeling for Luna that way, is up to you to decide.) If that's true, maybe that would make it a little difficult for him to have girlfriends ?? Like, maybe that's why he only had short flings during the summer with girls because deep down his heart already belonged to another ???? I have no idea honestly. I do imagine he had crushes and, like I said, short relationships with girls throughout his life (because he's too much of a romantic and too cute for him to NOT have had dates during school and stuff) but I don't think he ever dated one for like a year or something, unless it was like from 14 to 15, or from 15 to 16, I guess that could be possible, and then he had his fling with Daniela in the summer of his 17 year and that would be all.

So. Considering all this. Did Simón have sexual experience before the show? ....A little, maybe. Like I said, p-in-v sex is not the only way to have sex with someone else. Simón could have, I don't know, done some dry-humping with a girlfriend before?? Again, because they're hormonal teenagers and the age at which MALES, specifically, do those things is usually even lower than girls. I think some petting over the clothes during a makeout session is more likely. At much he touched a boob. And at much he received a hand job if he happened to have an experienced older girlfriend, but I think that's it.

Maybe I'm not being realistic enough and I'm picturing him too innocently. (I've received comments in Wattpad from south american readers who are firm believers both Simón and Ámbar had sex before the show because there's no way they wouldn't have at their age.) You'll have to excuse me if you believe that's the case, but I just can't see Simón having sex with someone before the show. Like, with the way his character is portrayed, I just can't see it. And, you know, I'm a 26-year-old girl with a lot of outside knowledge but personally I didn't even kiss anyone during my teenage years, so it's easy for me to imagine others also not doing it 😂 I think the answer to this question you asked me, anon, can differ a lot depending on the personal experience of the person receiving it.

IN SUMMARY. What do I think Simón and Ámbar's sexual experience was before each other? For Ámbar, I think she had sex before. Maybe not all the way but most probably yes. For Simón, I think he was a virgin.

(Again, all of this is not taking season 3 into account because if we did, both of them would obviously not be virgins anymore.)

I don't know what everyone else thinks. Do you agree with me or do you have your reservations? To be clear, it's not like I'm 100% sure of this assessment either. I like to play with all possibilities of this in my fics and I'm not married with an specific headcanon. The analysis I made in this post is only me using logic and trying to be as unbiased as possible, but I'm a human being and I can totally fail.

Thank you for your question, anon. I hope you have a good day 🌷

#simbar #soy luna meta #ámbar smith #simón álvarez #anon #answered #c speaks

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bluestar22x · 9 months

Text

Chapter 2

Baby Fever - Chapter 2

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Female!(Wife)Reader

Series Summary: It all started with a classic case of baby fever

Rating: 18+ Series

Warnings: Smut, f!receiving oral (only hinted at), infertility concerns

Word Count: 1,437

Author’s Note: Kinda a shorter chapter, but it's a bridge so I wasn't expecting it to be long. Got it done earlier than expected, but I'm not good at waiting to post so here it is.

xxx

"Marcus," you whined loudly, breath hot against his ear.

You were seated on his lap, legs secured around his waist, arms curled over his shoulders, and cheek pressed against his bearded one.

He couldn't see your face, see the wreck he was making out of you as he surged up into you over and over, as you dropped yourself down onto him, matching his pace, but he could hear it loud and clear in the way you spoke his name.

He knew you were close. Knew you as well as he knew himself behind closed doors. The way your breath hitched when you neared your tipping point, the way your pelvic muscles started to tighten.

He swallowed hard as he fought back his own impending orgasm, wanting you to break first, to feel you fall apart on top of him. It was one of his favorite things about being with you this way.

Your grip on his biceps tightened, and you cried out as you came, throwing your head back, eyes squeezed tight, lost in the feeling.

Marcus felt close to losing control watching your face contort with pleasure, but he kept up his pace through your orgasm, thrusting up into you several more times before his hips finally stuttered and he came too, spurting hot inside you with a panted moan.

He pressed his lips to yours as that heavenly feeling of bliss washed over him and he stilled his hips, turned his attention back to kissing you.

Though you'd been together for a good amount of time, he still thought about how lucky he was every time he shared moments like this with you. You were beautiful and sweet and giving. You were clever and insightful. You understood him like no other person ever had, and you had the same goals in life as he did. Most importantly, being with you felt right in every way. It felt like you and him had meant to be together, though he didn't voice it.

He knew you well, had wanted to know everything about you, so he knew something was bugging you when you eventually slipped off his lap and laid back against your pillow. You weren't obvious about it, but your eyes weren't as light as they usually were after making love with him.

He lifted himself up on his knees and crawled over to you, face hovering above yours as he caressed your cheek with the back of one of his hands comfortingly. His brows furrowed and he pursed his lips as he studied your expression. "What's bothering you, honey?"

You shook your head, refusing to meet his eyes. He was sure then that there was something really eating at you. You hardly ever shied from looking him in the eyes unless you were barely keeping yourself together.

"Come on," he encouraged you gently. "I know something's up. Tell me. You know I'll understand."

You sighed deeply and covered your face. "It's silly. I shouldn't be worried like this yet."

"It's not silly if you're worried about it," Marcus reassured you. "What is it?" He had a few guesses, but he didn't want to play that game.

You scrubbed your hands down your face and sighed again. "I just...it's been four months since we started trying, and I'm not pregnant yet."

That had been his first guess. He cupped your jaw. "I get it. I'm anxious too. But you know what your doctor said. It can take a while sometimes."

You nodded your understanding but chewed your lip after. "I know Dr. Harrington said up to six months is normal, even up to a year for someone my age, but I can't help but think something could be wrong with me. Like maybe I can't get pregnant. I mean, it's possible."

"Of course it's possible," Marcus said gently, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. "But four months means nothing, sweetie. And even if it did, that doesn't mean it's you. It could be me."

You huffed like that was the most absurd thing you'd heard in a long time, and he chuckled. "It could be though. If we're talking about what's possible."

"How can you be so nonchalant about it?" you inquired. You didn't sound upset about his mindset, rather earnest. Like you wanted to know his secret.

It was his turn to sigh. "I'm not. It's just...we're doing everything right, so I figure what's the point? If something's wrong, if we can't have a kid together like this, we'll deal with it when the time comes. And if there's nothing to be done, it doesn't mean we have to remain childless. You were adopted after all. With my connections, we'd certainly get accepted as potential parents."

"I know," you said quietly, "And I would love adopting a kid, but I'd really like to have this experience with you. Is that selfish?"

Marcus shook his head at you, eyes widening. "No. No, honey. It's not. I want that for you too. For us."

God, did he want it. Wanted to see your eyes light up when you finally got a positive pregnancy test. Wanted to see your belly grow with his child. Wanted to see you holding them to your chest, a smile spreading out on your face as you studied their features, a perfect mix of you and him.

He wouldn't let himself think of the alternative. You'd both cross that bridge later if it needed crossing.

"When is your next period due?" he asked.

You shifted underneath him as you reached for your phone on the night table and pulled up the calendar app. "Tomorrow. Something like that. It's almost never on the exact day. There's always a day or two difference."

"Is it too early to take a test?"

You shrugged as you clicked the phone off. "They recommend waiting a week after your missed period to test. It's why I haven't taken one yet."

"Ah," Marcus hummed. He'd been hoping the test could be done before. That maybe by some kind of long odds you were pregnant right now and you just didn't know it yet. He just wanted your worries to go away. Didn't like seeing you upset.

"I could still take one," you decided, "False negatives are more likely before a missed period, but if it says I'm pregnant, it'd be as accurate as any other time."

"If knowing would help you..." Marcus trailed off.

"It would," you told him, dragging yourself out of bed.

He followed you to the door of the only bathroom in the house and waited outside as you took the test behind the closed door, knowing you couldn't pee with anyone in the same room as you.

He leaned against the wall and fiddled his fingers against his bare thigh. He'd taken a few seconds to slip on the pair of underwear he'd discarded on the bedroom floor an hour ago but was otherwise still undressed. You were still stark naked. You didn't need clothes for this, after all.

You stepped out of the room a few minutes later, shaking your head at him, and he couldn't help but feel crestfallen.

Maybe we're trying too hard," he suggested.

You glanced up at him and cocked an eyebrow. "How?"

"You know, like they say," Marcus began, "Sometimes good things happen when we least expect them to."

"Sooo...," you dragged out the word. "What are we supposed to do? Have less sex?"

Marcus choked a little. "God, I hope not. No, I was more thinking about us not pressuring ourselves. Just living in the moment. Just doing what feels good without considering if it would increase our chances."

"You have something in mind," you concluded, a smile tugging at your lips.

He grabbed you by the hips and dipped his head down to kiss you hard. "I may have a few ideas," he admitted.

He showed you back to your bedroom and pinned you down to the mattress, kissing you hard on the mouth and you deepened it on reception. You kept kissing and your hands roamed each other until your breaths were coming hard and fast.

"What's at the top of your list?" you questioned eventually, chest heaving.

He didn't answer you. Instead, his mouth left yours and wandered lower and lower down your body until he was kissing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

He met your eyes briefly while he was there, and saw the heat, the need in yours. His stomach flipped.

"Do it," you begged, already latching onto the sheets underneath you.

He smiled.

He never could say no to you.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

#Marcus Pike Fanfic (Mine)#X Reader #Baby Fever Series

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rinbowaman · 1 year

Note

the everyday sex yeah....im waiting for yn to do another prank on hee (lmao yeah another one) like imposing sex ban with some lame excuse he would die (not really unless) but the pouty baby mode would be activated man would go crazy "can u at tleast watch me while i jerk off?"

lol sorryyyyyyy

i've thought about this concept before, back when i drafted a chapter (i think it was the beginning of MRE...maybe mid?) where y/n had to get a break because she was too sore. THat was when i thought of "what if she told him no more for like a month?" but heethan has his own personality in my head, its like he lives in my mind rent free so when I write, i write the first thing that pops into my head on what he would do....and this is how it went down:

SMALL DRABBLE BELOW: MDNI (Preferably)

Hint of SMUT, SMUT implied, but not descriptive or mentioned in detail. Slight MDNI below:

PS: Just imagine the image with black hair instead of the blonde...i'm not photoshop inclined one bit. lol

His eyes grew wide the moment he took in your words.

'DId she just say ....what i think she just said?'

You stood there remaining steadfast, wanting to see how much grasp you had on this man, considering it was obvious that he was into you beyond what was considered normal obsession, yet you didn't mind, you felt safe, protected, loved, and nurtured because of it.

"Heeseung, i mean it. No more until the end of the month."

you giggled internally, he looked so cute standing before you with his mouth slightly parted, his eyes wide under the shadow of his cap, and his hands at his side, palms facing you as he was presenting total confusion and shock nonverbally.

"And....what makes you think that it's going to happen?" he asks.

"Because i said so."

Little did you know, you made a grave mistake that moment when his head was taken aback by your statement, and the look of shock and confusion was replaced with a laconic one.

"Oh....because YOU said so...hmm....interesting." he remarked.

Walking towards you, you remained still with your arms crossed, wondering why the tension was growing, also...where was the sense of animosity coming from? it was as if the room grew dark.

"Pretty baby....let me explain something for a second..." he states, his eyes dissappeared underneath the hovering of his cap. Step by step, he stands right before you...actually he was too close. His chest grazing against your breasts as his chin faintly rests atop your head as he places both hands on the wall behind you, caging you in on his broad frame.

"You....are so beautiful. You're so dazzling and you're remarkable. You're like nothing I've ever seen before...." he softly issues out as he leans into your ear, softly vocalizing his words up against your hair, your neck, and your helix.

"BUT...." the harshness of the sudden change in his tone as he continued shocked you.

"If you think that you're going to call the shots to anything....think again....think LONG and HARD...babydoll."

The moment he said 'babydoll' you knew....he switched to his other face. Leaning your head back slightly, you looked up and saw the sinister glare and smirk of Ethan staring down at you, biting down on his lower lip looking as if he was deviously planning on something.

"You should learn...to ask first...babydoll." he softly speaks as he peers his smirk down at you with his eyes stabbing into yours.

"...oh...okay. well it was just a joke. i just wanted to see your reaction." you stared at the ground, nervously chuckling as you felt the weight of his stare on you.

"Oh....a joke huh? well i got one for you then."

"w-what is it?"

"Knock-knock. "

"W-whose there?"

"mmmm-Ethan > : ) "

You displayed a look of confusion as he stated his own name, yet he only raised his brows at you, ushering for you to continue.

".....Ethan who?"

"I havent Ethan all day and i'm hungry. Come here and....."

"LET"

..................................

"ME"

...................................

"EAT"

...................................

Before you could process the joke, which much later on you realize that despite how lame and corny it may have initially came off....you had to admit....it was quite clever and creative, considering he came up with it right on the spot.

As far as how that night went, you couldn't remember much of what happened after he yanked you by the waist and devoured you with his kisses....ALL OVER YOUR ENTIRE BODY.....

You knew it had to been heated and that he may have taken out some level of frustration or irritation out on you because you felt a bit of the stretch in between your legs as you were getting ready for classes the next morning. Which all Heeseung did was admire you with a devilish smile.

"Sore?"

"mm..n-no...."

"Ah...that's too bad. ;) "

The lesson to get from all this, is as follows...

Nothing isn't so....unless Heethan says so.

"How am I doing?" - Smau/Timeline Drabble

#anon answered #anon aks #lovely anon #heeseung smut #heeseung imagines #heeseung fanfic

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

Please Don’t Ruin This for Me - Higgs Monaghan Imagine (Death Stranding)

Title: Please Don’t Ruin This for Me

Pairing: Higgs Monaghan X Reader

Based On: Memories

Word Count: 893 words

Warning(s): mentions of canonical violence/acts of terrorism

Summary: (Y/n) was trying to move forward with their life after finding out some startling truths about the man they loved. However, this man won’t simply disappear.

Author's Note: I didn't imagine this writing challenge taking me so long.

SUPERACHE - CONAN GRAY WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

-----------------------------

When I first met Higgs Monaghan, he was scared and in obvious need of help.

Wait, no. That's not right.

He played as scared and obviously in need of help. He didn't even give me his real name. Everything that I had known about him had been false.

He ran to my door, rambling about just needing a place to hide away from the time fall. He had been limping, looking all around him. He was a good actor.

I let him in. I gave him food, a place to rest, patched up his wounds. I took care of him out of the kindness of my heart.

He offered me some story about being out for work, trying to get some deliveries done. After an unfortunate run-in with some group, he lost the deliveries and his gear to survive the time fall. So, he was left with no gear, no work, and no way home.

Of course, I felt guilty.

I was certain that I was just being kind. And at first, maybe that's all there was to it. But as time went on, it was hard to deny that something else had formed between us.

As he got better, he helped me with my work. Mostly cleaning and organizing behind me. I would later learn that he was looking through the notes in my notebooks. But at the time, I had no reason to not trust him.

It wasn't until a few weeks into his stay that anything truly happened between us. There had been small moments. Longing looks, light touches as we brushed by each other. Small things that could be ignored or explained away.

That was until the night he kissed me.

It had been gentle. Not rushed or harsh. It just kind of... happened.

Our relationship was much the same way. And it was perfect. Well, I thought it was perfect and I thought he believed that too.

Until another few weeks later when he disappeared. No word, no warning. Just one morning, he was gone.

My knowledge about him started soon after.

Starting with his real name: Higgs Monaghan.

After that came the stories. Terrorism and powers and attacks. He was a monster. A monster that appeared on my doorstep with this fake kindness and sincerity.

And I completely fell for it.

Every bit of it.

I kept to myself even more than usual after that. In my opinion, no one needed to know what I had experienced. Ever. Unless his work somehow made its way to me.

I had hoped that I would never see him again. That my life could go on in peace.

I didn't get that.

One night, I came home and had to face what had happened to me.

I noticed something was wrong as soon as I got inside.

I very slowly moved my hand to my pack, unloading the weapon that I had invested in when I learned the truth about who was going to

"Holy shit!"

I frantically aimed my weapon at the figure on the floor of my small kitchen area. The figure's head slowly picked up to look me in the eye.

"Oh my-"

"Hey there, doll," he said, forcing a chuckle through gritted teeth.

"Higgs."

"Oh, you know my real name now," he continued. "Great."

"What are you doing here," I asked.

"Where else would I go?"

"Anywhere else."

"But the person that I love is here."

I clenched my jaw, steadying my aim as I glared at him. "You don't love me. You never did. Not really."

"Hey, hey," he held a hand up like he was upset that I would accuse him of something. "You don't get to decide how I feel."

"You don't manipulate the people you love," I said. "Or turn them into unknowing accomplices to your terrorist attacks."

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I didn't think I'd fall in love with you when we met. That wasn't my goal. Do you think I would've ever come back here if I didn't love you?"

"I think you came back expecting me to not know about you. You wanted someone easy to manipulate. I am not that person anymore."

Higgs pushed himself off the floor. I held onto the gun a little tighter. I didn't want to seem scared, but the truth was that I was terrified of him.

"Unless you are leaving, don't come any closer."

He scoffed, "Really? You'd throw me out?"

"After what you did, yes," I said. "I have done so much in the hopes of being better than I was when you so easily took advantage of me. Why would I let you undo that?"

"Baby..."

His tone was condescending as he stepped forward. I couldn't move further back without running into the wall. I just glared at him.

He grabbed the hand that was holding the gun, slowly pushing it down.

"Come on," he continued, leaning in closer. His nose gently nudged mine.

As soon as he did that, I pushed my gun up. The barrel met his chin. He let out a chuckle and slowly held his hands up.

"Leave," I said simply.

He stepped away. I kept the gun trained on him.

"Goodbye, doll," he said as he got to the door.

I didn't speak or drop my gun I was sure that he was gone.

"Goodbye."

-----------------------------

Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#higgs monaghan imagine #higgs monaghan fanfiction #higgs monaghan x reader #death stranding fanfiction #death stranding imagine #death stranding x reader #fanfiction #imagine #x reader

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hippiemisfit · 5 months

Text

Hush (J.K.) 17

Chapter 17- HUH?

pairings: jungkook x oc reader

word count: 2,776

warnings: manipulation, jealousy, implied smut, hints at a bigger picture

------------------------------------

I heard the door slam finally and by that time I had already found something to watch. I decided to turn on Rakuten Viki and finish watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo. Don't know if you've watched it but it's wholeheartedly underrated. It was already five minutes in when Jungkook made it back up the stairs. He closed the door and came to plop down right

I immediately apologized, "I am so sorry about him, he's never usually like that or at least that's what I've always thought. He was a dick to you and you didn't deserve that."

Jungkook nodded his head and shrugged. He pulled out his phone and started typing, 'not your fault hes a prick'

I sighed, "Yea but I still let him come around and I still slightly have a thing for him even though he's a complete asshole. Guess you never really know someone until you find out the hard way."

"Is that the type that you're into because if it is you need better tastes?" I heard a voice from beside me say.

I turned my head so quick to look at Jungkook and was met with his smiling face.

"Ummmmmmmmmm, did you just talk?" I asked scooting away from him a little bit.

The grin never left his face even when he said, "Yep."

I shot up off the couch and towards the door, but was pulled back before I could make it. He held my thrashing body down and squeezed my arms really hard to stop me from squirming.

"Where you running off to? Don't you want to finish hanging out, I mean after all you did invite a dick into your house, who's lucky he isn't dead yet by the way. But since it seems like you are still emotionally involved, guess I got to make you kill him too just like you did his father. Maybe that'll fix your taste in men," he whispered in my ear.

I gasped," Hoodie?"

He finally released some of his hold on me; enough for me to be able to turn around, and look at Jungkook who was looking at me with green eyes instead of his usual brown.

"What are you doing here? And what have you done with Jungkook?" I asked.

He laughed," I missed you baby, duh."

I glared," As much as I don't believe that you missed me, you can't just appear when you want to if you did. Answer my second question, what have you done with Jungkook."

He rolled his eyes like it was an obvious response, "You're mine remember, I can come and see you whenever I want to. And your little lover boy is fine; he's just sleeping right now in his mind and I decided to borrow his body for a little bit. I thought you liked him baby, didn't you say 'because that man is fine emphasis on the I' earlier?"

I glared once again, "First and foremost, how the fuck do you know that? How long have you even been here? How long are you going to be here because I'm already tired of you and can you let me go?"

He chuckled," Slow down love, I can only answer one question at a time. To answer your first question, I can read minds babe duh. Second question, I've been here since you got here and ran into that bitch across the street who came over to fuck with you. To answer your third and forth question I don't know yet, kind of like his body. You should see what's underneath these clothes, dude's packing."

He said with a smirk on his face causing me to look down at his crotch area. I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows.

Hmmm.

I looked back up and he was glaring at me, "Wait, what am I thinking? Keep your eyes, hands, and mouth off and away from him. Unless you know, I'm here." he said, finally letting me go.

I rolled my eyes, "What I do to him or with him is my business, so how about you go away so that I can cuddle with him."

He scoffed, " And you don't want to cuddle with me? My feelings are hurt, sincerely," he placed a hand over Jungkook's chest.

"No, I don't want to cuddle with you." I said.

"Why not? I can keep you comfortable. I can raise your body heat too if you want," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and got up from the couch and headed to the mini bar to grab a Sprite Zero.

Wish I had some liquor instead with all this bullshit that keeps coming my way today. With the day I've been having I definitely need a drink. Might go raid the liquor cabinet downstairs just to get some sleep tonight.

"Well, I can get you some if you really want some. How about some tequila shots or Jell-O shots? And if you want to be put to sleep so badly, I can easily help you do that." I heard from the ass on the couch.

"One, stop reading my mind. Two, why are you still here and Jungkook is still gone? Thought I asked nicely a second ago for you to go away," I asked returning to the couch unconsciously bringing him a drink too.

"Wow someone has balls today," he said chuckling, taking the drink from me. "He's fine, I promise. I know how to behave. Like I said, I missed you," he said his voice going soft towards the end of his sentence.

Huh? He genuinely missed me?

He started chuckling again, "What? Is it weird for you to hear that I miss your company?"

I nodded my head," Yeah, it kind of is. What did you miss? Me killing people for your entertainment? Cause I don't miss those horrifying experiences and I didn't miss you."

He shook his head and sighed, "I know a little part of you missed me to even though you won't admit it. I can feel a piece of your soul calling out to me when I'm gone from you. Like I told you before, I've never seen a soul so pure in my entire existence as Death so I'm drawn to you like a tether. My body has never been able to reject a soul before and then you came along. From that moment, I just knew that we're meant to be. Whether you like it or not it's the truth. So I suggest you come to terms with it, because it's not going to change any time soon."

"Well, it should change ok. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only pure soul that you could've encountered before, no way. Or just one that you've taken an interest in and after all the things that you have made me do in the short time that I've known you, there's no way my soul is still as pure as you describe it."

He nodded his head in agreement," I thought that those acts would've done something to your soul, add a little bit of darkness to it, but it didn't. You have the purest one that I've ever seen, no one else's have ever caught my eye. Believe me, you're an anomaly."

I waved my hand, "Doesn't matter, I'm sick and tired of being around you. Of feeling scared of what's up next. Whatever 'mission' you'll have in store for me. I'm tired of the blood and gore that comes along with just being in your presence," I said.

He sighed, "Listen, I don't want the only time that I get to see you, you're cowering with fear or you're irritated as hell. I mean a little irritation I can deal with, but I can just feel the energy radiating off of you. That's why I'm here right now, and I couldn't just keep pretending to be Jungkook. Honestly, because I was tired of typing. I don't know how he does it. But mostly the feelings that I want you to have towards me, you have towards him and it makes me jealous. I could only pretend to be him for so long until I got fed up. I've waited for you for a long time, longer than you could ever imagine.

Those missions, if you want to call them that, were to get you ready for what's to come. I mean, after a while you'll just go numb to it. I've gotten so numb to my life that having you around is a breath of fresh air. A light in the dark tunnel that is my life. It's not just your soul that intrigues me, it's you as well.

Also, it's not always as gory as what I had you do. Was I fucking with you a little bit? Yea. But those men were monsters and you, we, got rid of them so no one else would have to fall victims to them. They got a punishment fit for their crimes. My intention initially wasn't to scare you, I just wanted you aware. I can't promise that it won't always be this way, this dynamic, but it's just this way for right now because you have to be prepared."

"Prepared for what? Is there some war at play here? Some battle?" I asked.

He chuckled, "There's always a war brewing baby, it's just a matter of which side is winning at the moment," he brushed his hand against my cheek and it took everything in me not to lay my head in it.

Like as if his touch warmed a part of my heart,"But the main battle is getting you prepared for this life with me. If I had just thrown you into this life, like I wanted to, then you would've really resented me. I was more of an ass when we met and I know that this is kind of a 360 of character but this is me, behind all the glitz and glamour. I'm still going to be an asshole, I'm still going to do fucked up shit but there's a motive behind everything that I do."

Pump the brakes real quick. Did this man really just apologize to me? And am I really contemplating giving him, Hoodie, a chance right now? I've never felt the sensation of longing while he's been away doing Hoodie things, because he hasn't been gone for too long since he appeared in my life. Shit, it hasn't even been a month since we met but a lot of stuff has happened in this short period of time, that I feel like it's been an eternity. But his words feel sincere to me, what should I do?

I cleared my throat and removed his hand," Well, I wouldn't be against working things through. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot but I need time to fully think this over. Wouldn't be right if I just did a complete 360 of character too, you know."

He nodded, " I can totally understand that but I need you to promise me one thing."

"Mhm." I replied.

"When I come for you next time, don't forget to run. I like the chase," he finished off with a wink. His eyes then went from his green and back into Jungkook's brown.

Well fuck me.

He blinked and opened his mouth in the form of a yawn, stretching his arms. He pulled out his phone and typed

: how long was i out?

"Not that long maybe about an hour or two. Do you even remember coming into my house?" I asked.

He shook his head no.

:no the last thing i remember was us pulling up in your driveway and getting out. nothing else it all went dark sorry ik i wasnt much company

I shook my head, "No you were fine, I was just watching my show. You looked peaceful in your sleep so I just left you be, but it's not even five yet so we can still hang out if you want. Unless you have to go home.

:no i can hang out for a lil longer. got plans after 9 tonight so it should be fine

"Ok," I said and finally pressed play on the tv.

................................................................

By the time Jungkook left it was around 8:30pm, we watched a couple of episodes of the kdrama and I made us a snack before he left. When he kissed me goodbye, yes on the lips, I could've swore I saw a fleck of green flash in them when he backed away.

Maybe it's my mind playing tricks right now or Hoodie is fucking with me again. But at this point I don't care.

I let Poco out of his cage and let him do his business as I went and filled his food bowl. After he ate, I ran him a bath in the downstairs bathroom. Of course it was a struggle getting him to the tub because he never wants to wash his ass, but I'm not going for it tonight. As I was washing him I started to tell him about my day. You know, because he can totally respond to me.

"You know today has been somewhat of a shit show. At first it was cool. Me and Jungkook did an early senior ditch day and went to the diner where Jimin works," his ears perked up when he heard his name," yea I know my other man, but he acted really strange towards Jungkook and I never figured out why. Then they went outside and talked with a bunch of other guys that I don't know but they were attractive too. Then we awkwardly ate lunch there which, Jungkook paid for like a gentleman by the way, and then I drove us home.

We were met with the neighbor across the street, which you know about since you wanted to bite his head off thank you very much, and that interaction didn't go to well. He was an asshole to Jungkook for no reason and it was really uncomfortable. By the time he left and Jungkook came back upstairs I was exhausted, just to be met with Hoodie in Jungkook's body and that was fun. I don't know what it is but what he was telling me about how he feels about me made me feel some type of way. I don't know how to explain it but I guess felt something along the lines of love. Not saying that I'm in love with him or anything because I am most definitely not but my heart did beat a little faster as he kept talking. He seems to really want me to give him a chance and it doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.

And if what he says is true, you know about the whole we're meant to be thing, then I don't really have all that much of a choice anyway? Not like he's going anywhere any time soon anyway, so why not. Butttt what about Jungkook? I mean, I feel something happening there too and I've known them for the same amount of time. And why not live a little while I can before I have to settle down. I don't know what to do. Should I stay on the good side a little longer or just divert into the darkness? What do you think Poco?" I finished.

He just looked at me, panting, and then tilted his head to the side in what I'll take as confusion.

Well thanks for nothing.

"Thanks for listening to my TED talk speech Poco, even though you can't help." I said smushing his face in my hands while laughing. I rinsed Poco off and had him hop out of the tub so I could dry him off. Just as I was about to he booked it out the door. I let out a sigh. I heard him start barking as I unplugged the drain.

"Poco, chill out dude. What's up?" I said as I walked out and found him in front of the front door.

"It's just someone at the door, calm down." I looked out the peephole and saw no one there.

Huh? So what the hell is he barking at? Should I do the black person thing and just walk away or let my inner white girl curiosity open the door?

As I contemplated my inner battle, Poco started barking and growling even louder.

Fuck it.

I swung the door open and was met with a familiar face.

"Um how did you find out where I live?" I asked feeling dread coming over me for the first time in his presence.

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