A Tudors OT3 verse in universe tumblr post about The Tudors in that universe. Very much inspired by @nocompromise-noregrets to whom Ellie belongs.
I regret to inform the tumblr that I have sunk into depths of clownery previously thought of as impossible. I am the Mariana Trench of Fail. I am not serving cunt, I am serving nothing.
It starts with going to my girlfriends cousin regular pub quiz because they were out a person and I know Some Things and also hey, free snacks!
At the start of this I want to note this was pre Unmasked Part I airing and I had No Fucking Idea. I was just there, sexualising Rupert Graves and James Frain and thinking oh what a great enemies ship need to smush their faces together and also their dicks.
[insert that meme about being in hell looking for Fail King Hugh Norwich here in retrospect also thee iconic post by dansemacabrebutts, Ioan I am in your clown shoes]
So I was chatting to one of the quiz team and turns out she’s (a) watching the show and (b) definitely a Fandom Person and we get on to shipping at some point and so I open my mouth like “isn’t the sexual energy between Norwich and Cromwell off the charts charged? Can’t wait to write porn about them”
She looks at me with the kind of pained expression that I have only seen in parents of small children watching them spill paint on themselves for the fourth time - in the awareness that really, it’s their fault for trusting them with the paint. At first I thought oh maybe it’s an anti thing? (She’s not a restorationist which was my second notion because my girlfriends family would Kick The Fuck Off and listen, Restorationists do not carry Tolkien merch at all - especially not that gorgeous print of the wedding of Bard and Thranduil from the estate)
“I think that’s something you’ll have to wait and see about” she says and my cousin in law is looking at me like they want to disown my entire family line back fifteen generations.
I think oh that’s an odd answer and kind of shrug and change the subject awkwardly and we don’t really talk. And then like a week later I watch Unmasked Part I. And then they have the after show interviews and:
GUYS THAT WAS THE ELLIE WHO DISCOVERED NORWICHS PAPERS. YES THAT ELLIE. I WILL BE MORTIFIED ON MY DEATH BED. I WAS NORWICH GLORIFYING TO THE PERSON WHO WAS THE VERY FIRST PERSON WHO HAD TO READ HIS WORKS. MY COUSIN IN LAW IS RIGHT TO DISOWN ME DISHONOUR UPON MY NON EXISTENT COWS. I am putting on the clown makeup and the shoes as we speak.
truffleboyenjoyer
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Update. I am glad you all enjoyed my MORTIFICATION.
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(from clemsharmony)
questions on the sun hashira au,, that i’m having to send through submissions because i hit the character limit for asks LOL
do you know roughly how old you see the characters as? i know tanjirou is 21 and nezuko biologically 12, but i don’t think you’ve said about anyone else! i’m seeing giyuu as pretty young since i generally imagine him being no older than thirteen in final selection, so even though in KNY canon he’s one of the middleaged hashira, i see sh!giyuu and think he’s one of the youngest of the not-friend-group.
makomo must be 22 or 23 now if she saved little tanj when she was a ‘remarkably young hashira’, and the other hashira’s ages are pretty easy to figure out since you’ve said tanjirou’s 21. inosuke is probably 21, genya zenitsu kanao and aoi 22. senjurou has no *explicitly* confirmed age, but he is said to be the same age as mui in a light novel, so i think it’s safe to say however old yuui and mui are, he’s roughly the same. the tokitou twins would be 20, and you say senjurou is younger than yuui, so he could be 19 or 20 too.
so yeah, i’ve figured out the hashira’s ages pretty easily. it’s the tsuguko’s / slayers ages i’d love to know! are you sticking with their canon age order, or messing them about a bit? i’d like to imagine gyoumei still being the oldest of them all, maybe 18, though if he was that old then there wouldn’t be many years between him and genya. like i said before, i love little giyuu too.. but you could very easily say that his final selection was when he and sabito were a little older, or he’s trained under tanjirou for a good few years, so would be old enough to stay in the middle-ish age range of the not-friend-group.
if you can’t tell, i absolutely love analysing character ages.
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i also put a lot of thought into character ages! luckily for you, they’re one of the first things i wrote down! so here’s a big ass list:
so first off, you got basically all of the hashira right
kamado tanjirou - 21
makomo - 25
rengoku senjurou - 19
agatsuma zenitsu - 22
tsuyuri kanao - 22
kanzaki aoi - 22
hashibira inosuke - 21
tokitou yuuichirou - 20
shinazugawa genya - 22
i kept their age differences relatively canon, and used senjurou’s age in kimetsu gakuen where he’s a first year in junior high which would make him 12/13 ish in actual canon. aoi doesn’t have a canon age beyond “at least 16” so she’s just the same age as kanao and genya
(continuing below the cut because wow, this got a bit long)
the littler guys are a bit weirder because their age differences are a lot crazier. so i changed some stuff up and squished some age differences so the entire group is just kind around 15 (with the obvious exception of muichirou, who is the same age as his brother)
tomioka giyuu - 15
sabito - 15
kochou shinobu - 14
rengoku kyoujurou - 15
uzui tengen - 16
kanroji mitsuri - 14
tokitou muichirou - 20
shinazugawa sanemi - 15
himejima gyoumei - 17
iguro obanai - 15
kochou kanae - 15
kaigaku - 15
did you know that we don’t actually know how old giyuu was when he and sabito went to final selection? canonically, his sister died when he was thirteen, and that’s also when he started training with urokodaki, but we don’t know how long he trained for, if he went to final selection the same year he came to urokodaki. anyways, in this au, giyuu trains for two whole years with urokodaki before going to final selection
and here’s just . a list of a bunch of other characters, both major and minor
kamado nezuko - 20 (physically 12)
murata - 15
kumeno masachika - ??? somewhere in his 20s
ubuyashiki kagaya - (spoilers, i’ll talk about this eventually)
ubuyashiki kiriya - (spoilers, i’ll talk about this eventually)
nakahara sumi - 19
terauchi kiyo - 19
takada naho - 19
gotou - 16
suma - 15
makio - 15
hinatsuru - 16
haganezuka hotaru - 14
kotetsu - 19
yushirou - over 300
tamayo - ~30
tsugikuni yoriichi - over 300
if someone isn’t listed, i either do not care about their age or i do not know what to put. most of the demons are left alone because i didn’t want to actually go through the trouble of swapping them around. sorry
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