#then turns around and is abusive to us??

[utilitycaster]

The thing about the argument that the sword makes Laudna uncomfortable is that it's valid if it does, but if you've been in any sort of organization that attempts to have an emotionally open dialogue in making decisions, and especially if you've been in any sort of leadership position within it, you will almost certainly encounter people who suddenly become uncomfortable when, as the meme goes, we are not about them. You encounter people who suddenly express discomfort - which should ideally be brought up early in the conversation since that alone may be a reason to blackball a decision - when multiple other arguments haven't worked (and during the ensuing argument this episode, you can easily watch Orym stick to the same exact story he's been saying for 50+ episodes and that he wants to reclaim this sword and use it to kill Ludinus while Laudna throws out multiple arguments, switching from one to the other as the rest of the party slowly realizes the sword isn't cursed and that this is Delilah's influence). You see this in internet spaces as well; people who do not draw a line between "trigger" and "squick" or "discomfort" and "dislike" even though that line very much exists.

Obviously you do have to still listen, because there are plenty of valid reasons to change a decision because someone involved is uncomfortable; but even a legitimately uncomfortable person does not automatically outweigh the needs of everyone else and you cannot please everyone at once. These decisions must be made contextually because otherwise "I'm uncomfortable with this" becomes a magic Uno Reverse card to hold the group decisions hostage. It's a factor, but ultimately, even if Delilah were in no way involved, if Laudna's the only person uncomfortable and this also means a lot to Orym, the solution is likely going to be either "keep it out of sight" or "give it to a member of the Accord". And yeah, as Imogen points out, if Laudna's genuinely uncomfortable with Orym having a sword with a dark history, absorbing it herself really undercuts that point.

#i think the issue with the abuse narrative is that like. yes you should be a haven for a friend with an abuser #but if the abuser is causing your friend to attack you in your sleep and steal your shit then the conversation changes drastically #i feel those demanding laudna's (delilah's) needs be prioritized forget there are 6 other people in the room #who just realized that if they find an item Delilah likes in Aeor Laudna might do this again #cr spoilers #cr discourse #it is really something also where people are like ORYM SHUTS DOWN EVERY CONVERSATION WITH HIS PAST TRAUMA #turn around and be like LAUDNA SHOULD SHUT DOWN THIS CONVERSATION USING HER PAST TRAUMA like ok kipperlily. #(i'm going to start calling this type of fan kipperlily. it's funny to me. we'll see how long it lasts.)

[stromblessed]

Joel thinks he needs to be the ultimate protector, but doesn't realize how invaluable he is to Ellie as a provider and a nurturer

I keep thinking about how Joel goes through aalllll of that in ep 8, the torturing and the killing and the tracking, thinking he's on the warpath, probably thinking he's either gonna rip some bitches apart right in front of Ellie or simply avenge her -

Just for the end goal of simply being there for Ellie. He doesn't even get there in time to pull her off of David, or to guide her out of the burning restaurant. He's only in time to be someone safe for her to hug and hold onto.

Joel is forever stuck in this place where protection is the one thing Sarah needed from him on outbreak night, that he couldn't give her. On day 1 with Ellie, he defaults to the trauma of failing at being that protector, and throws himself at that FEDRA guard, tells Ellie to be careful, etc.

But he does not provide for her - Marlene provides, for a bit. He definitely doesn't nurture her - Tess does, however briefly and gruffly. Joel thinks he's just there to be a trigger finger and a pair of fists. And he WILL use those things to protect this little girl - the absolute bare minimum that he failed to give to Sarah. To prove he can. That he won't fail like that again... until he does. Over and over again.

But I wonder - does Joel ever think about how he was able to provide for Sarah? Working a blue-collar contractor job to support her as a single parent, give her a home, posters on her wall, cute clothes, money for fixing broken watches and eating eggs for breakfast? Working so hard that he forgets to buy a cake on his own birthday?

Does Joel ever think about how he was able to nurture Sarah? He was emotionally available. He made her smile and laugh. He was a tough man's man who still hugged and held his daughter and talked to her and apologized to her and teased her and carried her in his arms. She could tease him back and scold him and go through his things without fear of him snapping at her or stonewalling her. They watched bad movies and took care of their neighbors together.

I love that Joel eventually taught Ellie to hunt. How to keep watch and be alert and keep herself alive. He probably thought that needing to transfer his skills to Ellie means he's already failed at protecting by default, but he SUCCEEDS at providing! Where so, so many other characters in this show fail!

To Joel, the happy fun times with Ellie - however brief they are, just little bright spots in a few episodes - are probably detours, little distractions he allows himself, but he's there for her again and again. Apologizing to her. Making her smile. Giggling at her stupid jokes. Teasing her. Asking her about herself. Telling her stories. He's not all the way there yet, but he's been there enough that Ellie CHOOSES him. Even when Joel may not be the best choice - the best protector.

And now at the end of ep 8, there's ultimately nothing Joel can do. But he goes through hell - to nurture her, in the end, after Ellie spends weeks protecting him and providing for him. But that nurturing, loving nature is what Ellie needed the most, the one thing Joel thought was worth the least, and I am. Unwell.

#tlou #the last of us #tlou spoilers #joel miller #spoilers ahead for season 2: definitely not thinking about how ellie rejects joel's ultimate act of protection nope not thinking about it #I had one of those dads who thought protection was all he was needed for and then he turned around and served emotional abuse daily #and he couldn't provide in the end either - it's fine between arcane last year and tlou this year my daddy issues are fine they're FINE

[calciumcryptid]

I am trying to collect my thoughts on the route the campaign took with the Rat Grinders, and I think I have come to the conclusion that the reason I am upset is not because I think the cast are bad players or Brennan is a bad dungeon master or that I didn't know the Rat Grinders where most likely to die (I went into the episode knowing the likelihood was above ninety percent).

The reason I am upset about the ending for the Rat Grinders is that I know all they will be is a footnote in the Bad Kids' history, a tragedy that will be forgotten and doomed to be repeated because there will be no narrative consequences to their deaths.

At the end of the day, whether some sections of the fandom want to admit it, is that we have several things confirmed about the Rat Grinders. They were freshmen (fourteen to fifteen) when Porter and Jace scoped them out and started the grooming/manipulation. They were sophomores (fifteen to sixteen) when corrupted. Their real selves were buried under the rage (Ruben's dream sequence), and in Kipperlilly's case actively seeking out help before being taken advantage of (sessions with Jawbone).

But there will be no lesson learned here because there will be no consequence to the decision to let the Rat Grinders die.

Henry Hopclap will continue teaching Gorgug, despite losing his nephew to Fig (Gorgug's friend) who psychologically messed with him before she had any confirmation of his wrongdoing. Not to mention, he will continue being on the same staff as Jawbone who the Bad Kids helped obtain a normal life despite his beginnings.

Lucy Frostblade will (most likely) be resurrected as some sort of cosmic justice, but her party will be gone. They may have killed her, but there was evidence they were her friends (or at least Kipperlily was). She might be resurrected, despite the fact she no longer has any party and will be failed instantly and wrapped up in grief.

Then, there will be the way the Rat Grinders will be footnotes. Ivy, reduced to her looks and not sleeping with Fabian in a display of blatant misogyny. Oisin who they clawed to chop the head off of to prevent his chances at resurrection for the crime of Adaine potentially inferring his intentions wrong (something we will never get the confirmation on). Ruben, dragged to hell and his corpse charred in lava after being psychologically messed with. Buddy Dawn, who couldn't leave the cult as easily as Kristen. Mary Ann, who was the one they wanted to save while treating her in a way that read as kind of ableist [others words not mine] (and even if they do save her would she want anything to do with them knowing they saved her and not her other party members?). Then, finally, Kipperlilly who will have egg on her face for wanting something despite the confirmation that before everything she was getting help.

The reason I am upset about the Rat Grinders is because they'll be reduced to pawns in Porter and Jace's schemes, and not as the manipulated minors they are. But it is alright I guess, because the Bad Kids saved the world and they get to write the ending.

#also to those who say us rat grinder fans are upset because our headcanons didnt come true or something equally stupid: fuck you #im sorry we saw groomed/manipulated children and wanted them to have a chance at turning their lives around #that maybe we didnt want a cycle of abuse to continue #that maybe we believed the cast when they said this was the season where their choices stopped being cute #the rat grinders #fantasy high #dimension 20 #i am probably going to regret this in the morning but whatever

[lastoneout]

I'm genuinely convinced the thought process goes:

> people who abuse children are horrible, irredeemable monsters who deserve to have their human rights stripped away and burn in hell for all eternity, no good person would ever hurt a child

> *tons of scientific evidence comes out showing that hitting your kids is basically abuse and does immense harm with absolutely no good to balance it out and in the worst cases it leaves lasting psychological damage those kids carry for life*

> but wait...my parents spanked me as punishment, but they aren't horrible evil people who deserve to die! I love my parents and they loved me, they're good people and good people would never hurt a child, and I surely don't have issues as a result of being hit, so that must mean hitting your kids isn't abusive

> the cycle continues, nothing changes, kids keep getting hit

and like I get it, I get it, but I just want to grab these people and be like "welcome to the complex reality most actual abuse survivors have to contend with every single day of our lives, it sucks, but since I've been through it I can give you the answer I had to work out over years of therapy for free; you are still allowed to love--and even FORGIVE--people who hurt you"

#ask to tag #abuse mention #child abuse mention #this is part of the reason I hate the current trend of people saying the only “progressive” abuse narrative #is one where the abuser is fucking murdered #because when you demonize a group of people so profoundly you have no idea what to do when someone you love dearly #might kind overlap with the category of humans you want to unperson #and you end up just excusing their behavior so you can keep acting like morality is black and white #and then turn around and attack any abuse survivor who has the audacity to talk about #how it isn't black and white for them and they don't feel empowered by narratives where the abusers die badly #or god forbid they ENJOY narratives where the abuser changes and apologizes #just stop and think for a second why some of us might find that cathartic

[fanatics4l]

no it's actually hilarious that this fandom has sympathy for vecna because they think he was abused as a kid. he wasn't abused. there were no implications towards this. him saying to el that there was more behind the story of his childhood does not automatically equal abuse. on screen, his father was clearly caring and loving towards his wife, daughter, and son. vecna saying that to el probably meant he "witnessed the cruelties of this world" and went insane about it like a fucking weirdo.

"brenner abused him" girl yeah that sucks but he was evil before that so invalid point

y'all can read so deep into this child murderer's story and find sympathy for him, who slaughtered and tortured teenagers and children and his own mother. you can pull shit out of your ass about his backstory, but the second we do the same for billy, who we actually have a concrete, canon backstory for, we're the bad ones??

friendly reminder that the only canon child abuse victims in this entire show are el, jonathan, will, patrick, chrissy, and billy.

#this fandom wakes up and decides not to use their brain constantly #you can make headcanons for vecna being abused by his parents but it's not canon #it's fine to feel sympathy for him i'm not saying you can't #but to call billy fans the bad ones?? #it's just being naive #one of those two committed atrocious crimes against minors #you're all so quick to be like oh billy fans only like him bc he's hot #and then turn around and love vecna bc jamie is hot and jamie said he's a good person on the inside #girl stfu like seriously #billy hargrove #dacre montgomery

[themyscirah]

But look at us Luke, we're the ones left alone, holding some rich monster's pain. All of existence, built on his violence. All of space-time, humming to life with a single inviolate rule. Give the hero something to punch.

#kate kane #duke thomas #luke fox #outsiders #dc comic edit #comic edit #dc comics #my first time using photoshop lmao #got it for free with my school adobe acc and obviously im gonna abuse it for comic editing purposes. although i skipped all the tutorials #and just fucked around so idk this isnt like impressive. couldnt find buttons for a lot of what i wanted to do but i think i was just looki #in the wrong spots. anyways yeah. #batman #panel from outsiders no 3 ofc #dont know what else i say here. this is v much the product of me procrastinating writing an essay draft #if the format is weird im sorry im on tumblr desktop which idk how to use. bc photoshop is on my computer and also i turned my phone off so #would stay off my phone and focus. which obviously worked rlly well lmao #swishy's comic edits #panelposting #not rlly but ill tag that too for personal reference. yeah #bats #anyways this issue is so funny to me. like yes lets talk about how batman is everywhere and is taking over everything and also cant die. in #a batman comic that is taking over things (notably the team name etc) from other characters #IRONY!!!! #anyways dark multiverse(? idfk) duke thomas i love you. you can kill as many versions of bruce wayne as you like <3

[bumblingbabooshka]

A Klingon and a half Vulcan discuss childhood dreams.

#Ehergha #S'veyk #beas ocs #klingon oc #vulcan oc #star trek ocs #comix #S'veyk and Ehergha are traveling to Ehergha's family's home so they can all meet her for the first time #and Ehergha mentioned that the caves might be confusing and S'veyk said that actually she used to play in caves all the time as a kid - #Vulcan has a lot of them. Ehergha didn't know that! That's how this conversation starts #S'veyk & her sister didn't have a good start to life but then Sek fostered & adopted them and things turned around! #Ehergha doesn't like hearing about it bc it makes him SO upset to hear how she was treated but also wants to hear about it bc means learnin #more about her...basically he doesn't want her to misunderstand his anger (she understands perfectly~) #S'veyk smiles usually only when people aren't looking so she doesn't get comments about it. Typically doesn't emote though (feels no desire #but Ehergha....<3 she likes him so he makes her smile every so often. #//implied abuse #bea art tag #the family meeting goes well btw! Ehergha gets embarrassed to death bc his family is like /FINALLY/ WE GET TO MEET YOU!!! #AFTER ALL THE LETTERS AND RAMBLING CALLS!!!

[sammygender]

also. not getting into this rn i have a longer post drafted on it. but i cannot fucking believe we got ANOTHER scene where it’s heavily implied via dialogue & narrative paralleling that john was physically abusive. this time to sam as well. i keep having to adjust my view of him because it just gets worse w every season i watch. and my view of him was awful from the beginning. and there are fans out there who argue he wasn’t… its canon. didn’t the show try to REDEEM this man

#AWFUL. #s7e3 #spn #you can’t. have multiple scenes/eps centred around how scared sam and dean were of their father & comparing them to kids who r explicitly #physically abused in canon & making their childhood selves who are Used To their situation say extremely red flag/worrying things that their #adult selves try to dismiss bc they don’t want to think about their childhood. #and then. turn right back around near the end of the show and go Actually john cared abt them :) #im sure he did that doesn’t change anything #oliver talks #john winchester #supernatural #spn 7x03

[navree]

in terms of how pervasive the fanon perception of tim drake as this neglected/borderline abused child of the horrific drake parents who are the worst human beings to ever live, i think it largely comes from the fact that i would bet money that 90% of the people perpetuating it just didn't have two parents who both worked.

#personal #the other ten percent comes from people trying to make him marginally interesting by pretending he's suffered more than jesus #(he hasn't he isn't even the character who's suffered most or second most in his own family and it also doesn't work) #(cuz he's still boring) #but like every time people bring up 'oh the drakes went on TRIPS for their JOBS how AWFUL' i give the most intense side eye #there was a period from when i was around 8 to 13 where my dad went on VERY long business trips for his work #like months long business trips #because again both my parents worked but he earned more money #or the fact that i spent a lot of summers with my sister and babysitters before my mom went into university teaching #because neither of them had the free time because they were WORKING #like i think these people just aren't used to having both mom and dad have jobs they need to do #plus the bit where they go hard on jack drake in particular makes me laugh because 'oh he stopped tim from being robin' yeah no shit! #if i found out my kid was robin i'd stop him! #a) unlike his predecessors or immediate successors tim has no internal drive that necessitates robin in his life #b) the last one very famously died! on the job! violently! and it turned batman into a crazy person! #as a parent jack drake is perfectly within his rights to not want his kid to be in very real and present danger #that's not him being abusive that's him being very normal #also i don't even get it because beyond people not understanding the concept of 'parents with jobs' #have some of you guys ever even read tim-centric pre-52 comics? #he doesn't mind his parents' work at all and he likes that his house has a bunch of cool artifacts and the way it's lowkey a museum #just make an oc at this point my god because it makes the tags and ao3 a fucking nightmare honestly

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Megumi’s life in ur “tsumiki and megumi are seperated” AU is super fucked. Does Gojo secretly put him on supervillain watch. Does he try to give him the worst counselling anyone has ever seen.

Worse he keeps trying to become Megumi’s New Dad and Megumi cannot emphasize enough how much he does not want him to do this. Why does Gojo keep asking him to throw a baseball with him. Why does he keep trying to ruffle his hair.

#Gojo tried to give him The Talk and megumi immediately turned around and tried to walk into traffic #because he’s the funniest motherfucker that ever was in any universe #it’s important to note that Megumi’s life in that AU is super fucked but almost no one knows the scope of it #megumis taking that shit to his grave #hes finally in a better place and he really really does not want anyone else to know about what he considers a really humiliating experience #he hates feeling weak is the thing and no one has ever made him feel weak the way his family did #he didn’t have any power over his own life and it was /humiliating/ #everyone else had normal childhoods and there he was being micromanaged so excessively that he wasn’t allowed to bathe and dress himself jn #until fucking high school. and even then it was only because the Zenin couldn’t hassle him at school #like it’s super obvious to everyone that the Zenin abused him but #no one knows just how bad it was #tsumiki knows he made some kind of deal so the Zenin would take care of her but he refuses to tell her what it was because he doesn’t want #to admit he tried to hurt himself. he doesn’t want her to know how bad it got. #maki knows better than anyone but 1) she doesn’t know most of it and 2) she’s not telling anyone about it either. Megumi’s her boy. she’s #not betraying his already fragile trust by airing out his business to other people #it’s sort of painfully obvious the Zenin used to beat him but no one talks about it. Megumi would shut down if anyone tries #like his life was sort of terrible and he didn’t see it getting better but somehow it did and he just wants the past to die #he wants what happened to be dead and buried and over and he knows it’s far from it but he just. he doesn’t want anyone to know.

[yardsards]

emotional neglect is fuckin wild. it's like "hi. my brain's 12 kinds of fucked up just because my mommy didn't love me." like what the fuck

#eliot posts #emotional neglect #i mean i also experienced emotional abuse and some degree of physical neglect and abuse too #turns out feeling constantly unwanted isn't good for ya! wow! #sidenote was anybody else told ''i love you‚ i just don't like you.'' as a kid? #when i was a kid it made no sense to me but i figured maybe i'd understand when i was older #i'm older now and still don't get it #granted there are all sorts of definitions of love #but whatever definition they were goin by CERTAINLY ain't the kind of ''love'' a child needs #i think they were just tryin to avoid addressing the fact that they didn't love us #my mother especially. my dad at least liked us before we were old enough to have fully formed personalities. heh. #but yeah knowing that ur parents don't like you as a person and don't want to be around you or interact with you #no good #abuse mention

[spaceshipkat]

i know i’m a good driver, but the problem is that i get Very Very nervous when driving in a car with passengers thanks to an ex of mine from a d e c a d e ago. i hate this about myself, and when he reached out to me a couple years later like he wanted to get back together, telling him i’d rather spend my time talking to a chair was much too nice of me i think

#he liked to yell at me when i drove about every little thing i did :) #oh i had to slam on the brakes bc some knucklehead cut into my lane? why didn’t i see that coming five minutes ago so i could prepare? #oh i had to make a u turn bc i missed my turn? why didn’t i just LOOK for my turn ahead of time? #oh no i didn’t park perfectly straight the first time and had to back up to correct it? why didn’t i use MATHEMATICS to calculate the #correct turn radius? #even just stupid things. i was driving home from his house once and didn’t realize he was waving at me to get to get me to turn around bc #it turned out he needed a ride to work and his motorcycle wouldn’t start #so i got home to like four voicemails full of screaming #so now i get nervous when i drive with other people (usually only with men but sometimes women too) #even if it’s like my brother or my dad #and bc i am nervous i make stupid mistakes i otherwise wouldn’t have if i was driving alone #like i am over pretty much everything else that fuckwad did to me but driving just. sticks. #ANYWAY #abuse tw

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

me googling what a triple red eye is. sam.

#three shots of espresso I GET i used to do that on the daily but #three shots of espresso IN filter coffee #dean give that kid your share of the prescription stimulants and cocaine I KNOW you're living off of #in order to drive like 8 hours plus continuously day after day on four hours sleep #the most unrealistic thing abt spn is the fact that they took out dean smoking. also the full extent of his likely drug abuse #denied representation for ppl barely held together at the seams by substances!! #i could talk allllll day about this show's weird morality around it all #and what can be left in and played for laughs (alcoholism) vs what gets notably left out (smoking. drugs etc) #vs what gets problematised (metaphorical substance abuse) #at what point does a substance abuse problem stop being a manly coping mode and turn into the 'weak' man's burden? #j.txt

[rottingcompost]

the fact that at this point i dont even feel depressed or scared or anxious whenever i get reminded of my abuser and i instead get angry and start thinking and sometimes even saying the most venomous shit about her and wishing death on her. shes not really in my life much at all anymore but it still pisses me off and i still have to see her occassionally and at this point i feel like next time she tries to come to my apartment i wont even let her in and tell her to play in traffic or something.

#ramblings #i just realized while typing this since i wonder why she showed up in my thoughts again this week #her birthday is today #i hope she dies. #genuinely im so angry that i ever had to share my life with her #and im still angry that she still is the tumor on my family that is ruining it #genuinely it would be so much better for pretty much all of us if she died #i have wanted to make fun of her to friends lately but tbh only like. two or three of my friends even know her enough to understand my ange #and even then i dont think it would be very fair to them to basically go on an insane rant about my abuser because im mad #i should get my anger out in some other way #vent #it fucking sucks too because her sister and her mother are extremely sweet and i honestly kinda like being around them #how the hell did she turn out to be such a vile and terrible creature when her sister and mom are absolutely amazing #also doesnt make it much better when she talks shit about her sister and makes her out to be evil when like???? #shes actually a nice person unlike you!!!!

[bluehairperson]

I don’t want to start drama but I’ve seen some concerning posts floating around about how distasteful and disappointing it is to see certain creators “support” Dorian and I hate to break it to you guys, but if you’ve ever interacted, shared or created anything regarding The Arcana you are supporting Dorian yourselves.

Being in the fandom alone is supporting Dorian by creating engagement, publicizing the game and being part of the audience they’re trying to target.

And even if you were to delete your whole blog and everything you’ve ever posted to enjoy the original game in private you would still be supporting Dorian by bringing traffic to the app they now own.

The one and only way you have to stop supporting Dorian, if you care about it so much, would be to distance yourself from the series entirely and go join another fandom. Never play the original game ever again and never interact with any fan creation regarding it from now on. 👋

#you're basically saying you dislike people supporting the company by working with it #while you yourself are supporting the company but indirectly by giving visibility to their brand #let's be coherent please #I personally don't care about dorian just like I never cared about nix hydra #but I still like the game so I'm gonna cherry pick whatever I want #and full offence but between this and continuous character and ship discourse you guys are unsufferable lol #you're murdering the fandom from the inside by being toxic af and finding the most bullshit excuses to attack artists for shit #that doesn't matter and then you turn around and whine and wonder why the fandom is dying and no one is posting anything new anymore #like MMMMMMMMMNHHHHHHH 🤔🤔🤔 #it's a mystery I wonder why #mentioning this because I also saw some discourse about dorian being awful for supporting quote unquote tOxIc and aBuSiVe ships 😨😨😨😨 #with the most basic and vanilla couple I've ever seen here #like nix hydra was never great either but I've never ever seen posts claiming that if you support them you must be an awful person #what changed exactly? #it sounds to me that you guys are just really bitter that the new quote unquote canon content is... not super good so you're trying to #vent your frustration in any way you can #which means attacking independent artists who use the platform because it's easier to reach and demolish them rather than the company itself #I log on here to recharge after a day of work and all I see is people acting like twelve year olds trying to be mean like bruh #it's literally the hom3stuck 2 fandom situation I called it #tagging this as discourse so you can blacklist it if you don't wanna be annoyed #discourse #the arcana #dorian era #not art