#there is also a second story I wrote for the fest

[mystandthemoon]

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) Relationship: Lan Huan | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao Characters: Lan Huan | Lan XichenMeng Yao | Jin Guangyao Additional Tags: PWP; Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot; Fanfic Italia P0rn Fest; blowjob; Anal SexHand Job; Mention of blood; Lan Xichen in hiding Language: English

On the run after Gusu was burnt down, Lan Xichen is hiding and recovering from his wounds. What he now fears most, however, is that his unseemly behavior might just have accidentally offended his savior. A Lan should know better than this, he knows, and he is determined to make up for it - except that Meng Yao might turn out to be anything but offended.

Written in January for the Italian p0rn fest #17 @landedifandom, on the prompt "Lan Xichen/Meng Yao - I will take care of you".

This was my first fanfiction in quite a long time, and also my first attempt at translating a story from Italian into English in years. My skills are rusty and it probably shows.

#mdzs #cql #mdzs fanfiction #the untamed #the untamed fanfic #lan xichen #meng yao #jin guangyao #xiyao #mo dao zu shi #this was written a few months ago but it took some time to translate it #I am so rusty omg #it's been some time since I took the time to translate somthing #but then again I wrote most of my fanfictions directly in English #it was good to do some practice again though! #there is also a second story I wrote for the fest #i might translate it too

[flymetosnarryland]

GTFO.

Did anyone miss Muggle London like I did? 🙃

This series as a part of "Infraction" has grown incredibly. It helped me understand a lot about things I want to write and made me think about "Infraction" as... well, my first real baby, lol. I wrote one Snarry, "Oblivion" already, but I take that story as testing the waters. I tried to know Harry and Severus, placing them in situation close to, eh, something that happened to me in a way. It means a lot to me and I'm proud of myself that I managed to write a fic from the start to the end.

"Infraction" on the other hand... this one is going to be really FAT piece of work and I'm excited over the moon about it. First chapter and the first part of second already landed on Ao3, but when am I going to finish the next part of it? (If anyone is interested at all, because I personally don't touch unfinished pieces, knowing how it works 🤣)

Well, to be honest, I decided to not rush it. Not because I don't know what to write. The main outline of the story has 40k+ words. It appeared that planning a series of murders is not so easy 😂 especially when the politics are part of it (I mean, Merlin... that's the last thing I thought I will EVER write, lol) and on top of that I have some complicated relationships (or, I suppose, a cherry on molten chocolate cake 🤤). Which makes me shiver and scream, that much I want to jump into writing it again. But the more I am thinking about the plot and fitting everything I need into it (of course writing it down), the more I'm surprised that I am able to figure out something that seems damn complex to me and my three brain cells 😂 I want to be proud of this story. I want it to be... maybe not perfect, but as good as I can see, it can be. And I enjoy the idea of growing as hobby writer. It makes me really happy. Also it's my first serious CRIME story. I know I said before that I always wanted to write crime. I always thought though it's out of my range, you know, I'm too dumb to bring something interesting that other people could possibly like as I do. But with this story I'm trying new things (like bringing Marauders to life), I'm thinking in advance, I'm on both sides: the detective and the serial killer and... GOSH. I really think it will have sense and be worth to waste some time on reading it, lol!

Also there is Snarry AUctoberfest on the way and, you know, I decided I'll try to write something for the fest for the first time! (It's my year of many first times and I really like it!) Funny thing, it appears that my fic for the fest will be a little test to what I want to do with "Infraction." When it occured to me (don't ask how it happen, but the idea I've had in mind turned 180 degree and I couldn't help it! Had to just go for it 😂) I was stunned. But in the same way it's a great opportunity to try new things, see how it will go and how it will work before I'll jump back to my baby.

If anyone checked "Infraction", please don't be mad or sad or... disappointed or angry (?), that I'm not updating it yet. This fic is absolutely my main focus and I'm tinkering and working on it. As for everything, I need time (and probably cut some other projects while I will write it; so less drawing going to be main part of the writing process 🙃 I suppose in the last quarter of the year; except if I'll have my holiday from work!)

Ah, dang. I wrote a lot here, I suppose? Less shite than messy personal stuff, but still something I guess, I wanted to share? Even if I think it's pointless and worthless, because who cares, lol. I'm learning, trying to share, I think. I should, as I wasn't doing it at all and it suppose to help me to... leave the shell of person that other people think I am. Because I grew to be someone irl that I'm really tired of being. Of pretending to be. How stupid it all sounds it's beyond me and I still deny to admit it.

#snarry #Severus Snape #Harry Potter #Muggle London #and some personal nonsense

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Another lovely year in this wonderful fandom. Here’s a little recap of how my year went:

My Writing:

Depth of Reason - Mature - 70k

How to Avoid a Scandal - Teen - 43k

Episode 3: The Diplomat, A Star Trek Redemption story - Teen - 13.5k

This list is much shorter than my list of fics written in 2022, but my fics last year were much shorter. Also, this word count is deceptive, because I wrote about 22k of Depth of Reason last year and about 20k of How to Avoid a Scandal last year as well. But! My writing goals this year were to finish these two WIPs and not take on any other projects until they were finished and I very nearly did that! Took on two projects (and more below), but I still finished these before the year finished, so pretty good!

Total words:

About 83k. Last year was more like 120k.

Other works:

Podfic of Petrichor - Teen - 34 minutes

Themes:

Finishing long works apparently! One was for my 2022 COBB and the other for my 2022 CORB. Even though these were started last year, they are the longest things I wrote since my first fic (49k) back in the second half of 2021.

Also, trying new things! Writing sci-if and recording a podfic felt very outside my wheelhouse at the time, but ultimately, I’m glad I went for it.

Top 10 fics I read in 2023:

Someone Wicked - Explicit - 60k by @artsyunderstudy

Three Months or 3,000 Miles - Gen - 3k by @larkral and art by @theimpossibledemon

Blood, Salt and Hummingbirds - Teen - 32k by @hushed-chorus

Restoration Ecology - The REmix (Baz’s version) - Explicit - 62k by @royalasstronaut

Good at Something - Explicit - 19k by @larkral

A Gift From the Propheseals - Mature - 6.5k by @skeedelvee with art by @letraspal

What Remains After the Storm - Mature - 86k by @hushed-chorus art by @erzbethluna

To Do, to Know, to Want - Mature - 8.5k by @facewithoutheart

Mishaps on Zoom - Explicit - 10k by @eelwinks

Swords Into Plowshares - Teen - 6.5k by @ileadacharmedlife

WIPs I’m excited to keep reading in 2024:

I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man - Teen, by @shrekgogurt

Hiding Out In The Open - Mature, by @cutestkilla

A Little Bit Deadly- Explicit, by @emeryhall

Basil Pitch’s Diary - Teen, by @bookish-bogwitch

Other notable fandom things:

I helped to run @carryon-reverse-bang again with @angelsfalling16 as well as helped to put on a new event this year, @caught-on-tape-fest with @cutestkilla and @sillyunicorn

I met up with fandom friends while on a trip this past summer. Making personalized friendship bracelets as gifts, doing fic readings and crafts, and putting on our own Lady Ruth style tea party were some of my fave moments <3

I did a book club style reread of some of my fave fics with friends. I hope we do a few more in 2024!

It’s safe to say I engaged with this fandom everyday of 2023. I might get quiet on the main Discord server or Tumblr, but I’m certain I read, reblogged, wrote, DMd or otherwise participated in some way, shape or form throughout the entirety of the year.

Goals for 2024:

Read more fic! This fandom has such a wealth of works, my TBR list is a mile long and isn’t organized. I’d like to formally rework my AO3 bookmarks to exclusively show recs and either utilize the Marked for Later function or make a spreadsheet or something to better organize a proper TBR list so i don’t lose track of what I want to read next. Currently, having a dozen tabs open on my phone and another dozen on my iPad doesn’t really work well. If anyone has a brilliant system you’d suggest, please enlighten me!

I also want to read all of my physical canon books this year. I’ve only ever listened to the audiobooks! I’m currently reading my anniversary edition of Fangirl. (I think this is the prettiest book I’ve ever owned.) Up next, the Fangirl Manga, followed by the trilogy and Snow for Christmas.

More fandom meet ups! Already planning for June…

I don’t have any writing plans currently, so we shall see if/what I decide to create. I have a few ideas rolling around in my head, but nothing I’ve felt urged to put down in words. I’m sure I’ll write something, I just don’t know what it’ll be yet.

#That’s a wrap! #Love being a part of this fandom #Y’all are wonderful #here’s to another great year! #fandom year in review

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Weeks in Review (September 10-30, 2023)

I adore Godzilla Final Wars, but it's a movie with an identity crisis, unsure whether it wants to be headlining a Toho Champion Festival or mesmerizing American teenagers at a mid-aughts multiplex. @spacehunter-m's Final Wars 2004: The Year We Make Corn-Tack gives it a strong tug in the first direction, whittling the runtime down to 77 minutes and replacing most of the music and sound effects. She was inspired by Space Warriors 2000, of all things; as she put it, both films are "largely comprised of nonstop, monotonous action." As in that bizarro Ultraman compilation film, the kaiju trash-talk each other. It makes you wonder why Ryuhei Kitamura didn't at least bring back the speech bubbles from Godzilla vs. Gigan. Kaiju fan edits are rare, and this is in a class all by itself. Download it here.

Shigeru Kayama's novelizations of Godzilla (1954) and Godzilla Raids Again are out—hopefully the first of many to come. My copy only arrived on Saturday, so I haven't had the chance to read the whole thing yet, but I've made it through Godzilla. It's interesting to see Kayama, who wrote the initial treatment, take another swing at the story after the film was finished. He puts back moments like Godzilla eating a cow and attacking a lighthouse, and is also more overt with the wartime allusions. There's an incredible moment where Dr. Yamane muses that studying Godzilla and learning his secrets could be Japan's way of redeeming itself after "caus[ing] a great deal of trouble to people throughout the world." Note that these are novella-length, so much less in-depth than the novelizations of American Godzilla films you might be used to (Godzilla Raids Again is less than 80 pages). The book ends with an afterword by translator Jeffrey Angles contextualizing the tales.

Godzilla: War for Humanity continues to be a standout IDW miniseries. There's a new and very weird monster in the second issue, plus a no-nonsense Mothra (she tries to recruit Godzilla to fight Zoospora by shooting him in the back of the head and dragging him into the ocean in front of Minilla).

I've also got to mention the solicitation for another Godzilla Rivals installment, due December 20. Nola Pfau is writing, Megan Huang is illustrating.

Jen Onça is not excited to start her new, fast-paced fast-food career at Minilla Burger, but she'd much prefer a mundane day to the sudden return of Megalon! The monster brings destruction, trapping Jen in a forgotten lab deep beneath the restaurant with only the half-built form of Jet Jaguar to help her get out! She must repair the robotic defender to save herself and the city, but first she needs to escape the rubble trapping her in this tense adventure!

Yuzo the Biggest Battle in Tokyo, Yoshikazu Ishii's follow-up to Attack of the Giant Teacher, has also been picked up by SRS Cinema. No release details yet. I can't really speak to the film either, since it screened at the same time as Yumiko Shaku's panel at G-Fest, but as you can see from the poster, it's set during the pandemic.

The GAMERA -Rebirth- Gyaos has joined Godzilla Battle Line as an unusual sort of swarm unit. Your first summon of the match calls forth two sub-adults, and by the fifth summon you're sending out two sub-adults and three adults, still for four energy. They're probably the best swarm in the game, though still highly vulnerable to AOE units like Godzilla '01. I'm having fun with them in the Challenge Battles.

Notzilla, one of the sharpest kaiju comedies out there, is unexpectedly getting the graphic novel treatment. Mitch Teemley is adapting his own screenplay, with art by Zumart Putra. The comic is already finished, although I'm not clear on how folks who didn't back the Kickstarter (which wrapped on September 11) will get it. Useless trivia: the terrific cover above (one of four) is by Ben Dunn, who wrote the How to Draw Manga book I poured over in middle school.

After Troll shattered Netflix streaming records (according to Netflix), it's not super surprising that the company wants a sequel. Priority one: coming up with a title that's not Troll 2. Screenwriter Espen Aukan and director Roar Uthaug will both return.

Toy highlights of the past few weeks:

After confusing everyone by teasing its silhouette the day before April Fools', Tamashii has fully unveiled an S.H.Monsterarts Godzilla '72, a rare Showa figure from the line. It comes with two heads, one of them bloodied (see above). Due at the end of February.

After finally running out of ways to repaint their mold of Hedorah's Perfect Stage, Bandai is making a Movie Monster Series figure of the kaiju's Landing Stage. A Godzilla Store exclusive, it'll be released October 25.

After over two years, Funko is releasing a trio of Godzilla Singular Point Pops. Hopefully they go all-out with this show—it's not like there's any other plausible way for a Satomi Kanahara figure to exist.

#godzilla #kaiju week in review #godzilla final wars #troll #notzilla #gyaos #yuzo the biggest battle in tokyo #kaiju

[andithiel]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Aaaah omg thank you for this ask my dear friend 🥹 I loved your list (found here). I did this 1,5 years ago (that list can be found here) and I didn’t want to repeat myself so I’m going to go with stuff that I’ve written since (as if that would make it easier) *cries in ambivalence*

Sweet Desire (Scorbus, just short of 6k, rated E, first person POV) I wrote this for last year's next gen fest. I was in a major writing slump and couldn't find any inspiration until I found the prompt "first time oral sex" and for some reason that inspired me. I had so much fun trying to convey that giddy teenage trying new things together in a trusting relationship, and I hope I pulled it off. Scorbus is pretty tricky for me to write but I really enjoyed spending time with these two lovebirds.

Sinking/Floating (Drarry, 963 words, rated T, second person POV) This was also something that made something click in me when I saw the lovely imovie of @bluebutter-art 's amazing fanart So rest your weary heart with me. I wanted to convey the same feeling I got when looking at Blue's art, and it took me a while to get there but I'm still very proud of how it came out.

Take that ride (Drarry, 1,6k, rated T) Inspired by Dance to this with Troye Sivan and Ariana Grande. I tried to capture the feeling of the song and include some of the elements in it, and tried to focus on the sensory despcriptions (which is something I tend to forget when writing), and I think it's one of the things I'm most proud of.

Let me show you (Drarry, 556 words, it's only on tumblr but I guess I'd rate it T) Sometimes inspiration just hits. You go about your daily chores and thinks about the fuck or die trope and then BAM! You need to write a 500 word drabble about mutual pining and Draco heroically chasing down Harry to offer his services.

microfic for the prompt "Truth or dare" for last year's flufftober I'm just super happy and proud that I managed to get this amount of story into 50 words, go me!

#fic author's self rec #drarry #scorbus #andithielwrites #it *was* a bit easier to chose this time since it was more limited #but i still miss some #like the secret language of flowers based on the 'fuck you' bouquet #or the 8th year fwb secret relationship dark mark disappearing fic i wrote for sassy #or harry being ridiculous on valentine's day and gifting draco a card with his face in harry's bum #oh well #this was fun anyway!

[takemealivelh]

heart is gonna flatline || l.h.

tour puts luke and lucy's feelings to the test. addiction to sex, alcohol and weed for when things get hard. SMUT.

this was so fun to write ! loved to participate in the @5sos-fic-fest this year. hope you enjoy this. here's the ao3 link.

7.1 k

FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED

Prompt Au where the characters are both famous musicians with their own projects who have a well-documented public friendship. When they announce a tour together fans go crazy, as do the shippers. As the tour progresses, maybe the shippers are on to something…

Pop-rockers 5SOS and Latina indie-rocker Lucía Huerta announce tour together Last year, there were rumors about the frontman of the Australian band -Luke Hemmings, 27- and relatively new sensation Lucía "Lucy" Huerta, 28. They'd been caught leaving West Hollywood bars together, late at night, on numerous occasions. They put the speculation to a stop when in June 2023 Lucy uploaded an Instagram story of her and the blond having a drink. She tagged Hemmings and wrote "that's the homie", to which Luke replied in his own stories "that's me :)". They've been seen hanging out repeatedly since then, but it doesn't seem any more platonic than work friends. And speaking of work friends, 5 Seconds of Summer and Huerta just announced a 2024 tour that definitely excited fans, not just because of the vibrant shows they expect to see later in the year, but also because they want to see how the relationship of the two stars will develop during the four-month North American dates. Here at Music Getaway, we'll definitely keep a close eye on them.

-

"i'm not ready to tell them yet," lucy says to his boyfriend as she leaves the coffee cup on the kitchen counter next to them. they've been dating for eight months. it's been hard to hide their relationship from the press, and luke isn't too keen on the idea. he actually hates it. but he loves lucy. he loves that she's a talented musician, her laugh, her jokes and her business smarts. and he just can't enjoy this in peace, not with being so secretive.

"you've been saying that for months now. when are you gonna be okay with this? with us?" luke doesn't get it. why hide when they go out on dates and he can finally press a hand on her ass in public to stop the thirst traps people seem to tag her on. hoping to get a chance with her? fuck no. the blond wants her all to himself, he can't deny that.

lucy twists her lips, stalling. the smell of freshly brewed breakfast coffee dancing around them. "you don't understand." she finally says, reaching a hand to touch his arm for a few seconds. the thought of being out in the open with luke would change everything. "people will treat me differently. they might not respect me anymore."

"what are you talking about?"

"luke, come on. i got my own interview with kelly clarkson and then i played the iheartradio festival." they'd been incredible opportunities. "all of my hard work goes away the minute they know we're together. they'll say oh she was fucking the rockstar and he got her those big breaks. i don't want that. i don't want people to minimize my efforts."

luke sighs and shakes his head. "is that what's more important?" lucy shrugs. "okay," he finally says.

"okay?"

"yeah. it's fine. i get it. i won't bring it up again."

lucy throws her arms around his neck. "thank you," she whispers before kissing his lips softly. "i love you."

-

luke sits with ashton outside the rehearsal room. they've been playing for nearly two hours and they need a breather, especially because luke's mind is spinning. "i don't know, man. it sucks." they hear chattering on the other side of the door, a few guitar riffs and then laughter.

"of course it sucks, mate," ashton tells his friend. "she doesn't want to be in your shadow. it really fucking sucks and you better not fuck this up for her. you know how hard she's been working." he had grown fond of lucy. she was as much of a fan of drums as he was. he taught her a few fills and she invited him to do yoga and get high, ending up talking about how the unconscious force of creativity is beyond any of us. ashton doesn't want to see her heartbroken because of her boyfriend's, his best friend's inability to trust someone who really loves him.

-

luke's insecure, there's no question about that. after his marriage fell apart, he fell into a depression. and when he got better, he found this woman in the venue of the iheartradio festival, she was wearing cool sunglasses and stevie nicks-looking clothes. hippie goth he would've dared to say. they were watching the soundcheck of another band and started talking after she took out a cigarette from her backpack and asked him for a lighter.

"sorry, no. i don't smoke."

"that's okay," she smiled. 

that was all she said before looking for -and eventually finding- a lighter in the outside pocket of her small backpack.

the man looked up at the sky, the sun shining bright and the warm air of the field. he squinted one eye and turned to her. "they sound pretty good," he said of the band that was talking onstage, between songs. she nodded her head. "do you know them?"

"not personally, no," she replied and blew smoke out in a thin line. "but i've been a fan of them for a while now. they're one of my favorite indie bands."

that got them talking, eventually introducing themselves and catching up later after each other’s set. there was chemistry and flirting. luke's band immediately caught up to what was happening, when he said he was gonna congratulate lucy and be right back. but he didn't and it took them a full while to find him, thirty minutes before they went up and played.

-

"you got a lighter?"

calum nods and lights the cigarette for her. the smoking area of the building being a small parking lot.

"thanks," she breathes out. "you out here on your own?"

the bassist nods. "it's a good place to think."

lucy smiles and rolls her eyes. “cheesy,” she says with a grin.

"where's loverboy?" he asks, a cheeky smile on his face. calum was the first one to see them kissing. it was an afterparty at his band photographer's place. he'd gone to the kitchen when everyone started leaving, eight in the morning. when he went back to the living room with a cup of coffee, he saw lucy snuggled up to luke, smiling at him. luke smiled back and leaned in to kiss her. "aren't you guys glued to the hip anymore?"

lucy chuckles, "i don't know. there's... a lot happening."

"i'm listening."

"uh... okay. so... we decided to not tell everyone yet that we're dating. Not even with the tour. and i think he's mad at me."

"why do you say that?"

"he's been more... distant. and i don't know if that's what i wanted but it feels like... payback. like, you banned us and now i'm gonna make sure you feel it type of thing."

"i'm sure it's not that."

a bitter chuckle leaves her lips. "helpful as usual, cal."

-

cincinatti, first stop of the you don't go to parties tour. lucy had laughed when they first told her the name of the tour, but she eventually grew to like it and even embrace it. it's 6 pm and her soundcheck just ended. security lets fans in for a q&a with 5sos. she walks over to her boyfriend and smiles at him, wanting to kiss him good luck, or maybe just because she loves him. but luke stops her before she can even tilt her head up to reach his lips.

"we can't now. remember?"

it leaves her heart sore. she stands still as luke enters the stage and is greeted with the cheering of the fans. the rest of the guys are already seated on the small stairs of the set. she watches him ignore her and the questions about her. michael replies to one of them by saying she's our friend and we care for her and we're pretty inspired by her work as well, so it seemed like a good idea to, like, join forces and do this tour together.

lucy hopes luke will acknowledge her at some point, but he doesn't. when they start playing talk fast for the few lucky seventy fans in the audience, she twists her lips and leaves, heading backstage.

-

he doesn't see her until she's onstage again, playing her set of amazing songs for the 16,000 people attending the show. they dance and scream the lyrics back to her. she plays her guitar and sings with her raspy grunge-style voice over the indie-pop-rock arrangements her backing band provides. his heart beats faster as she approaches the microphone and starts talking.

"and thank you to my friends in 5sos who have been kind enough to invite me to co-headline this tour. the you don't go to parties tour seemed a little odd to me at first because this is definitely a party, isn't it?" she smiles as the crowd cheers. "so thank you guys," lucy turns to the left of the stage and sees luke standing next to her guitar tech. "i really fucking love you."

-

because of technical issues, the band can't perform the whole setlist. sometimes it happens. ashton is always pissed. "they're missing the whole experience!"

"yeah, well. nothing we can do. venue told us we could do the whole hour and a half but because of the issue with the speakers, they can't last that long. you have to cut two songs."

the tour manager tries to hold this thing together as ashton and michael complain. calum offers suggestions.

"i guess we could lose um... we could lose babylon, right? just this once and... flatline maybe?" the bassist looks over at luke.

flatline is the one song they had never played live before and it’d be a surprise for the audience. especially because lucy would come onstage to sing it with them. play the rhythmic guitar while luke walks around, hyping up the crowd. they'd rehearsed it several times and she was excited about it. they both were. allegedly.

"sure," luke replies as he drinks a glass of tequila, setting it down on a table and making sure his guitar is properly tuned. "let's cut them."

michael and ashton look at each other and then at luke. the frontman shrugs and his friends tell the tour manager that they will cut babylon and flatline.

-

all of the musicians have separate rooms in the hotels. even luke and lucy. she'd insisted it'd be easier. luke hated it. and he didn't expect her to show up at his room, unannounced, with a frown on her forehead and breathing hard.

"you cut our song," she steps inside the white room with the white walls, white bed and white comforter. looking at luke, the woman crosses her arms.

"we had to," he simply states. as if he wasn't the one greenlighting the whole thing.

"you could've told me, though. i was looking stupid next to the stage, waiting for you to introduce me. and it never happened."

"is that all that matters to you? how you look in front of other people? we had to cut two songs, lucy. the surprise's gonna be even bigger in the next show. fans will appreciate that."

lucy twists her lips and walks straight past him towards the door. "you're an asshole," she says before closing it behind her.

-

the beginning of the flight to boston is awkward. the whole twelve -the bands and the crew- can sense the tension inside the plane. it stems from luke and lucy, obviously. when did everything get so uneasy?

twenty minutes into the duration of the flight, though, luke slides into the seat next to his girlfriend. she doesn't look at him.

"i should've told you."

"yeah, you should've."

her heart beats faster as he places a hand on her cheek, guiding her eyes towards his own. he looks inside the brown hues and decides he can't keep hurting her. but she hurt him first. he wants to grow up and let it go. it's proving to be harder than he thought. maturity hasn't caught up to him easily yet. "i'm sorry." she closes her eyes and luke leans in to kiss her. "i'm sorry," he repeats.

a hand on his wrist, lucy is sad. looking into his eyes makes her sad. "it's okay," she finally says.

-

"and now we've got a pretty special surprise for you," michael grins into the microphone as the whole venue screams. "it's time to invite lucy huerta back on stage!" he shouts with a smile.

luke thinks lucy looks so fucking edible in those tight pants and that see-through top. her smile is big as she waves to the audience and settles on the center of the stage, where luke usually is. he gets another microphone from one of the roadies before ashton counts to four with his hi-hat.

should've seen me like a year ago, year ago/i was someone you don't even know, even know/dark times kept me all alone, all alone/you were shining like a heart of gold, heart of gold

he steals glances at her as she smiles into the crowd that’s going wild, her acoustic guitar hanging from her shoulders. 

luke was depressed after the divorce, staying home and drinking himself to sleep. then he got his shit together (half of it at least), went to the studio and worked through his issues by writing songs. when he met lucy, luke thought she was the most wonderful person on the planet. she had the kindest heart and was an overall joy to have around. he sings the pre-chorus and is taken aback by her strong voice as she takes over the song with her playing and her singing.

ooh, i'm falling for the first time/heart is gonna flatline/now i can't even look at you/you're like staring at the sunshine, burning into my mind/now i can't even look at you

and she doesn't. she doesn't look at him as she sings, unlike rehearsals when they couldn't stop singing to each other. it breaks his heart, considering it's their song. he wrote this for her.

"thank you!" lucy shouts and then leaves the stage waving everybody goodbye.

-

after the show, luke showed up to her hotel room. the bands were out clubbing and when he heard lucy wasn’t gonna join them, he immediately took an uber back to where they were staying. 

“let me in, please,” he says after knocking on her door three times. when she finally appears, she’s wearing a towel around her body and another one around her hair. she looks tired. “can i come in?”

without saying a word, lucy steps aside and luke walks into her room. she closes the door behind her and approaches him. 

“talk to me,” he basically begs. reading her mind is like an unsolvable sudoku, the man can’t get his head around it. “I love you.”

“i love you, too,” she whispers, looking down at his messy converse sneakers. 

luke quickly grabs her face and kisses her. it’s passionate and arousing and she can feel herself melting under his touch. she knows they should actually talk about it, instead of making out and falling on the bed, her towels discarded somewhere on the floor. she can’t help it. they’re both sex addicts. lucy rips his thin black shirt open and kisses down his chest, leaving his skin wet with the droplets that run down her hair. his breathing grows heavier and his pants grow tighter in the crotch area. he closes his eyes as she trails the kisses back up to his face. “take it off,” she pleads and sits next to him. luke quickly reincorporates himself to toss his shirt, his slacks and his underwear out of the way. he’s big and pulsating and lucy swallows hard, he turns her on so much. 

when the last item of clothing hits the floor, one of his shoes, the man licks his upper lip and straddles her body, hovering over her. “you really want me, huh?” his smirk is cocky, as if he’s forgotten everything about these past few days. it’s like nothing ever happened and they’re still in their love bubble. she so desperately wants to go back to it, so she nods and wraps her arms around his neck, bringing him to her lips as she parts her legs. luke hooks an elbow on her knee and spreads her wider, watching her folds throb for him. so slick and ready. he kisses her once more before carefully dropping her leg onto the bed. “condom,” he says. “i need to fuck you now.”

lucy reaches out to the bag she keeps on the nightstand. eyeliner, pills and condoms. she hands him one and it doesn’t take long before his cock is ready. luke smirks and kisses her, lining himself against her entrance with one hand, he takes a deep breath and penetrates her.

her gasp shouldn���t come as a surprise, given that it’s the same sound every time, not at all used to having him being so big and thick yet, even after all these months. she closes her eyes and bites her lower lip as luke runs a hand through his damp curls, letting her adjust to his size. he groans as he feels her walls engulfing him. “i want you so much,” he offers a low moan and starts picking up the pace of his thrusts. bringing one of her legs over his shoulder, the man reaches a deeper spot that makes her moan out. 

“fuck,” she pants as the bed bounces underneath their bodies. luke’s strength and determination to fuck her stupid works. her eyes roll to the back and she digs her short nails into his naked back. “more,” she begs and is immediately met with a hand around her throat. “more,” her plead is inaudible as she feels like she can’t breathe from the pleasure.

luke’s pupils are dilated in a way she’s never seen before. he tightens her grip around her throat and around her leg. gulping down at the sight of his girl falling apart under him, he tries to restrain louder moans but how can he? how can he fuck her quietly when she looks and feels so fucking good? “say you’re mine,” he orders. “say you’re mine.”

-

the morning sun shines through the window and rests its light on lucy’s face. She scrunches her nose and opens her eyes. she’s lying on luke’s chest, they’re both naked. he doesn’t seem to notice her shifting. the woman looks up at him, wondering when things got so complicated. she loves him. she truly loves him. he’s the first man she’s ever loved, in a real way, not a platonic crush way. the fact that he makes her laugh and his skills when making music and also in bed are extraordinary. he’s a sensitive soul and it’s such a wonder when he lowers down the walls he builds up around people. letting them in but not all the way. not in the way he does with her. or did. “why can’t you trust me with your thoughts anymore?” lucy wonders in a soft whisper before pressing a kiss to his sternum and getting up. she goes to the bathroom and takes a shower. when she opens the door that leads to the bedroom, luke is up and scrolling through his phone. “hi,” she smiles softly. her boyfriend’s hair is a mess and there’s still sleep inside his eyes. 

“hey,” the man smiles back, putting his phone away. “flight’s at 6. you wanna do something today?”

lucy leans against the frame of the bathroom door. she crosses her arms in front of her chest and thinks for a moment while twisting her lips. “what do you have in mind?”

-

they both go down in the elevator, not touching, and it’s killing them. when they reach the hotel’s diner, they find calum and ashton sitting at one of the tables, drinking orange juice and eating bagels.

“you guys had fun last night,” calum smirks as the couple sits down with a plate of waffles and two cups of coffee.

lucy blushes and luke has to stop every inch of his urgent body to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “shut up,” they both say in unison. there’s a soft smile on their faces.

after michael drops by to have a quick breakfast and then leaves to facetime his wife and his baby daughter, the rest of them decide that it would be cool to go out and explore the city. so they do that. they go to a park and sit around, smoking and drinking warm water because of the summer heat upon them. a couple of fans stumble across them and ask for pictures. they stay for around ten minutes before leaving off to continue their day, the musicians keep on enjoying the sun and the fresh air. if you ignore calum and lucy’s cigarettes, that is.

they go to lunch at a nearby restaurant and order pasta salads. lucy looks over at luke across the table, he’s laughing at one of ashton’s jokes and she sighs almost imperceptibly, looking down at her empty plate. there’s a single ravioli and two tomato slices on it. she looks up when she feels a foot against her ankle and sees luke smiling softly at her.

they can’t help but fuck in the restaurant’s bathroom. locked into a single stall, she drops to her knees and sucks him off. luke pins her against the door and buries his head on her neck to muffle the sounds when he slides into her. she’s got a leg wrapped around his waist and she swallows hard to hush the sounds she wants to make.

when they reach back the table, they find that ashton and calum have deserted them, leaving them with the bill. “assholes,” she says and luke laughs.

-

Seen out: Luke Hemmings and Lucía Huerta have an off day in Boston

The pair walked out of the Intercontinental Hotel with Ashton Irwin (5SOS’ drummer) and Calum Hood (5SOS’ bassist). They were seen by fans at Fenway Park and they took pictures with them. Luke looks tired in the photos, but he seems happy. He wears roughed-up sneakers and a white tank top. Lucy wears short denim shorts and a black top with flowy sleeves. The fans that tagged them in the Instagram posts spoke about how nice they were and how exciting it was to meet them. Hemmings and Huerta were both seen leaving Tenderoni’s Fenway restaurant and getting into an Uber. According to inside sources, the pair haven’t been able to keep their hands off each other during this tour so far. We hope it stays that way.

-

“fuck,” lucy’s frustration about the latest hollywood gossip blog post seems to go unnoticed on the plane. but luke can tell, and he wraps an arm around her the minute they both sit down. “they know. they seem to know,” she hands him her phone so he can read the writing piece. she hates it. she hates it so much. “inside sources can suck my dick.” this statement makes luke giggle. “what’s so funny?” she asks, annoyed.

“nothing.”

-

the next cities go by in a time whirlwind. lucy’s been distant since the article and it breaks luke’s heart. she refused to hold his hand and kiss him outside hotel rooms. even concerts’ backstages.

a few months after they met, they attended a house party in santa monica. the sparks between them were something everybody noticed, but they didn’t seem to think much of it. they’re rockstars, they’re the same age, of course they’re gonna flirt. luke fucked her in the spare bedroom, door locked. she gasped when she felt his cock for the first time, knowing he’d just made her addicted to it. he’d ruined every other man for her.

“we should head back downstairs.”

“i wanna stay here with you.”

“luke.” his name was rough against her lips as she hooked her bra back on.

“alright, i’m up.”

looking back, that should’ve been a red flag for him, but he chose to ignore it. because she made him feel good and he didn’t want her to leave him for somebody else. he didn’t want to be left again. he’d loved his ex-wife, and it was hard to get over her after she cheated on him. lucy had never been in a relationship, just random hookups, a friend with benefits and two weeks of winter love. she feared intimacy and luke could tell after the second time they had sex. spend the night, he’d said. lucy shook her head and told him she needed to get up early in the morning for an interview, which was a lie.

-

by the time the first month rolls around, they’re barely talking. It’s all sex and pretending onstage. pretending to have fun, pretending that they’re not hurt. their hearts break in silence. well, sort of.

“i told you not to fuck it up.”

“she won’t let me in. she won’t talk to me about it.”

“fix it.”

-

someone just like you, no one else/lights will guide you so, run like hell

the screaming fans can’t get enough of the energy onstage. michael jumping around, calum throwing his head back to expose his neck to the crowd, ashton beasting out on the drums. luke crouches in front of the crowd with a wide smile and lucy plays guitar while she sings her heart out. the lights radiate orange and red colors on the stage, the bass resonates in their bodies and there’s so much adrenaline going on that she has a moment of weakness. she looks over at luke, who has walked over to michael’s side of the stage as he sings the second verse. he wears a silver shirt that makes his shoulders look so spectacularly broad. she looks at him a little too long and when the camera pans over to her, showing her true feelings on the giant screen, fans seem to lose it even more. luke walks back to her and sings directly into her eyes, as if he can feel his way back to his girl. finally. a sad smile appears on her face for a split second before she starts dancing while playing the post-chorus instrumental outro. her long wavy hair hides her face and no one notices a single tear rolling down her cheek. when the song ends, she pretends to be emotional about the crowd, about how much they seem to love the show. which she is very grateful for. but on the other side of the coin, she just fucked up everything for herself. her career. and it’s clear when luke approaches her with a reassuring smile and one fan screams KISS! KISS! and then the whole venue is yelling the same word over and over again. michael and calum look at each other, ashton wipes off the sweat from his forehead and when the chanting doesn’t seem to stop, he grabs his mic. 

“alright, alright. calm your asses down,” the drummer laughs and the crowd follows suit. a distraction. he starts talking about how they recorded the song and thanking lucy for putting on a fantastic show with them for the beautiful souls in the audience.

lucy twists her lips, trying not to break down in front of thousands of people. so, she just waves and quickly exits the stage. luke takes a deep breath. he wants to run after her, make sure she’s okay. but she would never forgive him for giving the fans more reasons to speculate about their relationship. 

-

lucy cries backstage, alone. she takes off her makeup and sees dark circles underneath her eyes. why the fuck is she such a mess? why can’t she be in love like a normal person?

-

the show ends and the first person to knock on her dressing room is, obviously, luke. “are you okay?” he opens the door and sees his girlfriend lying on the sofa, sleeping. her makeup’s off and he can better appreciate the freckles on her nose that she gets in the summer. he stays with her, sitting on the chair in front of the mirror. the man looks at her as she wrinkles her nose in her sleep. he loves her so much. but what if this it? what if this is the end for them? 

michael opens the door, “what’s going on? is she okay?”

“she’s okay,” luke smiles weakly. “she’s sleeping.” 

lucy holds a pillow to her chest. she’s covered by luke’s jacket. michael decides he should probably leave them alone. “good luck, man,” he says as he pats luke’s shoulder, then he leaves the door closed after stepping back out.

luke could really use a joint right now. all these thoughts and feelings. wondering what she may be dreaming. or what she does with her days when they’re not together. he hates being so possessive, it makes him feel like a child. but how can you blame him?

“good luck with what?” lucy’s yawn startles him. she rubs one eye open.

michael meant well, but he also wanted to protect luke from heartbreak. lucy’s given him that for months now. all the guys -at least in the bands- knew lucy has a bit of… issues. she believes in things to be too black or white, good or bad, yes or no. no space for grey areas in her life. and that’s frustrating to deal with, but luke had fallen in love because she was so intense and so hardheaded when it came to defending her values. He admired that about her. “I honestly have no idea,” he lies behind a chuckle, playing it off as usual band nonsense. “do you wanna go back to the hotel and sleep?”

she’s too tired to get into an argument about taking separate cars, so she just nods. “Yeah.”

-

when they get to the hotel room, luke tucks her in and pours her a glass of water that he leaves on her nightstand. he looks for ibuprofen in her small bag with pills and condoms and sets two next to the water. 

“i’m sorry for being such a bitch to you,” lucy says with her eyes closed, lying on her side. 

she looks so out of it. as if she’d just drank an entire bottle of vodka and then smoked weed. he feels bad. he never meant for her to feel like this when they got into a relationship. but touring always makes things hard. especially if you’re playing shows every night with the person you love. the man sighs and sits next to her. “don’t worry about me. get some sleep,” he whispers and kisses her temple.

before he can stand up, lucy grabs his arm. “can you stay with me? please.”

a soft smile sets on his lips. “of course.”

-

after landing in the next city, lucy calls her mom.

-

there are three knocks on his hotel room door. “luke?” her voice is soft. as if she’s embarrassed. she doesn’t want her mother’s words to haunt her. the man opens the door without his shirt. just sweatpants. he was probably gonna go to bed. she might as well ruin his night too. 

“hey.” there’s a small pause. “what’s up?” he steps aside so she can come in. the tv’s on in the background and there’s a tray with an empty plate and a glass of tequila, just resting on his nightstand. 

lucy nods her head and walks inside. “i wanna talk.”

“okay…”

“about us.”

-

Love Is All Around: It’s Insta-Official

Two months ago, the You Don’t Go To Parties Tour hit the stage. And last night, Lucía Huerta and Luke Hemmings provided some much-needed proof of their romance. “Ten months with you feel like a second. Magic. I love you.”

-

lucy sighs as she reads the article.

“are you okay?” luke asks her.

“yeah,” she replies. “just… scared, i guess.”

“it’s gonna be okay, love,” he kisses the top of her head and sits next to her on the sofa. “everything’s gonna be alright.” the dressing room is big and no one else is around. it’s noon.

tons of notifications have been hitting their phones for the past fourteen hours. some are mean comments, others are encouraging words from fans. either way, it makes lucy anxious. “do you wanna get high?” she asks her boyfriend. maybe weed isn’t the solution to every problem ever, but it helps. 

the man smiles. “sure,” he says.

they go to the private parking lot of the venue. luke rolls a joint while lucy smokes a cigarette. she flicks the ashes onto the concrete, fidgeting her fingers around the cancer stick. luke isn’t the biggest fan of her smoking. and she's been smoking more as the days go by. but he understands she’s going through a lot, so he says nothing. he gets a text from calum, wondering where he and his girlfriend are. we’re gonna have lunch, join us? but the blond dismisses the message and lights the joint. he takes two hits before handing it to lucy. she brings it immediately to her lips, the slightly spicy smoke going down her throat smoothly. 

it’s so easy to talk to each other. sometimes. but their words have been stunted lately. they don’t know what the other’s thinking. and yes, last night they had a good conversation. but now what? does everything go back to normal now? how? they both feel anxious around each other, and that’s never ever happened before. they both hate it.

“what do you…”

“do you ever…”

they open their mouths simultaneously, quickly chuckling at the awkwardness of their interaction. lucy nods her head, letting him know that he can finish his thought.

luke smiles. “i was gonna ask you if you ever feel like… like things are going so good between us and suddenly we get so quiet and you worry? is that… is that something you feel?”

lucy smiles back. “yeah,” she says. “i don’t really know how to explain it. i mean, i love you. you know i really fucking love you, luke. but sometimes i worry we get too inside our heads. because i think we’re really similar like that. and i… i wanna be someone you can count on…”

“i want that too,” he replies. she hands him back the joint and he smokes some more.

“and sometimes i worry i’m not that someone you deserve,” she finally confesses.

it makes him sad to hear her say that, because there’s no better person for him than her. no one has made him feel this way before. the ups and downs seem to be heightened and it’s a beautiful way to live, he doesn’t want anyone else. there’s only room in his heart for this woman. this is the hardest he’s ever fallen in love, and he can’t imagine his life without her. a bit dramatic, but hey, that’s just who he is. “i don’t deserve anyone, lucy. i just want to be with you,” he says and takes her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. “all the time. every single fucking day.”

the woman looks down at their hands. matching red nail polish and silver-colored rings. this is scary. it’s scary to love and need someone so much that you feel like you’d die if they ever left you. please, don’t leave me. ever. lucy sighs and squeezes his hand in hers. “right back at ya,” she smiles softly and looks up to find his baby blues staring at her with so much love in them that she can’t help the weakness she feels in her knees.

the silence is barely uncomfortable anymore. unlike the ones they’ve been experiencing for countless weeks now. it’s all out in the open. their love for each other burning brighter than ever. neither want this moment to end. and since there’s only one way to stop time, they lean into each other and kiss. it’s soft at first, like a goodnight kiss. and it escalates quickly to an i-never-wanna-be-without-you one. she grabs fistfuls of his shirt, bringing him closer to her body. luke places both hands on her face as his tongue traces her bottom lip. their eyes are red and their hunger is raw.

-

they can’t get to his hotel room fast enough. fuck having lunch with friends, they need to satiate this urge so they can go on for the rest of the day. “i want you so bad,” she whines against his throat, leaving wet and sloppy kisses along his jawline. he’s already big and leaking with precum, grinding his hips against hers. unhooking her bra, luke immediately buries his head between her breasts and she whines again. those beautiful sounds he can’t get enough of.

“ride me, babe. i wanna see these titties bounce,” he whispers against her skin. hands gripping her hips. bulge so hard he feels like he’s gonna explode. they’re naked and he already has a condom wrapping his shaft. lucy bites her lower lip and lines him against her slit. he’s throbbing in her hand and that drives her insane. the moan he drags out as she strokes him is paradise. The filthiest love they’ve ever experienced. Both always wanting to fuck each other. It’s her waist, it’s his broad shoulders. The way they move on stage, wanting to look sexy for the other. 

lucy sinks into his cock and lets out a whine, “fuuck.” his thick size feels so good. luke grabs her ass and spreads her cheeks open so he can penetrate her better. 

“you like that?”

“yes.” her mouth hangs open and her eyes roll to the back of her head. luke has always thought of her as his pretty little pornstar. even before they started dating, the way she danced with him at the club. her back pressed to his body as his hands rested on her hips and stomach. both sweaty and a bit embarrassed when they went back to the booth with their friends. 

the woman, as per requested, starts bouncing on his cock. titties moving up and down. “fuck, girl.”

-

“is it better to feel this or feel nothing at all?”

ever since the news got out about their relationship, lucy’s been a mess. interviewers can be assholes. they suddenly stopped asking about her music, her achievements. all they wanted to know about was her clothes and her boyfriend. like everything she worked for just disappeared in the blink of an eye.

she lays on her side on the hotel bed after playing a festival in latin america. luke spoons her, holding her close to his body. he doesn’t know what to say. he’s surprised by the outcome. hadn’t expected people to diminish her work, to ignore she just played the 6 pm slot, which is a hard spot to get. you need a lot of people to stay for the whole set. and she’d killed it. 

“i don’t understand what happened,” luke sighs against her neck and squeezes her tighter. “i’m really sorry.”

lucy closes her eyes, feeling a bit less anxious with him. “it’s okay. the industry’s fucked up.”

“yeah,” he chuckles weakly. “it is.”

-

“so it’s true? you and luke are engaged?”

the questions about her relationship don’t seem to cease. even a year later. they go together to events and people seem to be more excited about them together than their work. it’s annoying, but what are you gonna do? “yeah, we are,” lucy smiles. “we’re also dropping a new song together next month.”

“ooh, tell us about it.”

lucy has become good at deflecting. luke taught her that. 

-

“how was the interview?” luke asks after he greets his fianceé with a kiss and hands her a cup of coffee from her favorite shop.

“it was alright,” lucy shrugs. it’s definitely been a learning experience, dodging questions about her personal life. but luke has been so supportive and sweet throughout the whole thing. she’s grateful to marry her man in six months. “how was the recording session?” she asks as she sips the hot beverage.

the blond had written things throughout the tour. enough things to make an ep. “it was good,” he smiles softly.

-

the song luke and lucy release is a hit. a 90s-inspired track with her raspy vocals and his whiny ones make for an interesting texture that captures hearts everywhere. they play it on several shows, the crowds go insane every time.

a month later, lucy releases her second album. it's a hit. she's invited to play festivals and there are rumors of a grammy nomination.

"here's to my girl," luke smiles as he raises a glass of wine in front of her and their friends. "she showed the world she's a powerhouse, an amazing songwriter and performer. she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so proud of you." his gaze sets on lucy, who's blushing like crazy and smiling like an idiot. "i really fucking love you."

"right back at ya," the woman grins and stands up from the table to kiss her man. everyone cheers.

the night goes by fast. the celebration turns into a party in luke and lucy's new place in west hollywood. but the couple soon disappears into their shared bedroom. fucking until the sun comes up and their friends leave.

luke pants as his orgasm washes over him. "fuck," he breathes out, collapsing next to her on their bed.

"yeah," lucy chuckles. her body is sweaty and she wraps an arm around his torso as she snuggles up to him. looking up at his face, the man's glistening. he's the most beautiful man. he's got the biggest heart and he's never been jealous or threatened by her successes. she appreciates that. "wanna eat me out?" lucy smirks, her leg now over his, her wet pussy making contact with his thigh and she grinds into him.

"give me a second," luke lets out a soft laugh. "you really wore me out. my pretty slutty angel." he strokes her hair, hand soon trailing down to her ass. a small slap to it that makes her bite down on her lip. "okay, come on. legs spread, i'm diving in," he grins.

she does what she's told. opening her legs so luke can attach his lips to her swollen clit and start licking her folds. so sloppy. so fucking nasty. lucy groans as her breath hitches. "you're so good."

he smirks against her entrance before exploring her walls with his tongue. so fucking skilled.

-

grammy nominations announcement. luke and lucy's song gets one for song of the year. her album gets one for album of the year. they're ecstatic. it's all happening.

#5sosficfest2024 #luke hemmings #luke hemming fic #luke hemming smut #i absolutely loved writing this and feeling *pain* #lmfaoo

[raina-at]

Fic writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @khorazir!

How many works do you have on AO3?

29 fics, three J2 RPS, 1 Supernatural, the rest is Sherlock.

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

490,267 (though I have to add that a lot of my old fics aren’t on AO3, my overall word count must be well over a million.)

What fandoms do you write for?

In the past, Star Wars, Supernatural, Harry Potter, RPS. Right now it’s Sherlock, and has been for a while. And I don’t see that changing any time soon.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Bakers with Benefits

Don’t Read the Last Page

Running Obliquely

Take Two

All I Want for Christmas (is Proof)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always respond to comments, or at least I try my best to. It’s only polite, people took time to give me feedback, the least I can do is to thank them for their time. 

 What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t do angsty endings, my fics all end happily ;-)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hm. Well. All my fics end on a happy note, but for me, it’s probably Spare Parts because that happy ending was the one I felt was the hardest won. But I do have a soft spot for the last chapter of Bakers with Benefits, because that was also a long road, both for Sherlock and for me.

Do you get hate on fics?

Hasn’t happened so far. Granted, I only posted one of my many, many Wincest stories, so maybe if I had more of them on AO3, but as it stands, I never got hate on one of my fics, and I hope it stays this way. The odd rude comment, but no hate.

Do you write smut?

Yup. But not a lot of it. I find the older I get the less smut I write, probably because it’s starting to feel repetitive. Which is funny, because I’ve written hundreds of love confessions and I never get tired of those. 

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet. If the inspiration strikes, I might yet write one, but so far I haven’t.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of. I’m not on Wattpad and the likes, so there might be some stolen copies of my works out there, but who knows. Someone once told me about this person who plagiarized one of my J2 fics and re-wrote it as a Degrassi het fic, but the person had already deleted their account, so I couldn’t verify it. That was… bizarre. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several. Speak Now was translated into Spanish, Bakers with Benefits into French and Without Complexities or Pride into Russian.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

My darling wife @nuttersinc and I co-wrote thousands of words of fic. We hosted fests and LJ communities, ran an online RPG together and co-wrote a huge fic series that we abandoned when we both fell out of that fandom at the same time. We haven’t been in the same fandom since back in our Supernatural days, but we did just about everything fandom spouses can do together except host a podcast ;-)

14 .  What’s your all time favourite ship?

I mean… Johnlock just has The Dynamic down to a science. You can do so much with them. You can do anything. They’re so wonderfully perfect for each other in all their fucked-up, flawed, deeply human glory. But having said that, I have a weak spot deep in my heart for Mulder and Scully, because they were so important to me as a teenager, and they led me to fandom and fanfic. They’re the first ship that truly owned my soul. So a part of my heart will always belong to them.

(They also led me to my second favourite het ship of all time, Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, because Mulder compared himself and Scully to Peter and Harriet in one of my favourite fics, so of course I had to go read the books, and man, that’s a Dynamic, right there. Two whip-smart, emotionally extremely vulnerable people both desperately wanting and being deadly scared of true intimacy. I eat that up with a spoon. Also love the ‘man totally besotted with the smart, independent woman cutting his ego down to size’ dynamic.)

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh, so MANY. I never post WIPS because I want to feel free to abandon stories whenever, so I’m the only one haunted by my WIP folder, but there’s a few in there I would really like to come back to one of these days. But never say never, the first three pages of Nothing Gold Can Stay sat in there for MONTHS, gestating. You never know.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can only say what I enjoy writing, I hope that joy translates itself to the page. I love writing dialogue and I think I’m pretty good at it. I think I’m good at pacing, and I think I’m good at making people Feel Things.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I sometimes lose patience with plot. Because I mostly use plot as a means for character development, I sometimes lose patience with my own plots. That mostly happens in the fics I don’t finish, and it’s mostly the reason I don’t finish the fic. I’m also not especially good at handling large casts of characters, many of my fics have very few characters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? 

Honestly, it hasn’t come up yet. I would only do it in German, because that’s my native language, otherwise I’d be too worried to get it wrong. I don’t generally like it when conversations aren’t translated. Othewise I have no strong feelings about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Wrote? X-Files. Posted? Roswell.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh, that’s hard. The ones I loved writing the most are probably Take Two and my J2 highschool AU. I wrote both very quickly in a sort of fugue state, and it just feels amazing when that happens. The one I enjoy re-visiting the most? Bakers with Benefits.

Tagging @keirgreeneyes @jrow @discordantwords @thetimemoves and anyone else who wants to do this.

#bbc sherlock #my fic #writing #20 fic writer questions #this is fun

[caroll-in]

top 3 12 fics I read in 2022

I was tagged by @pennygalleon in her post to share my own fav reads of 2022 and... wow, it's SO HARD to narrow it down? Like, I knew it would be, but still 😂 This year was pretty peculiar when it comes to my reading, as I didn't really read anything older nor did any re-reads (I did listen to all of the Gallapod and a few podfics of Saras_Girl's stories, if that counts!). Instead, I was trying harder than ever to keep up with this year's drarry fests and dabbed in A LOT of other fandoms too. And, for the first time in years (as dramatic as that sounds haha), I started to read published books again and I'm still all hyped about it 😍

But, back to the fics!

The Categories:

📅 Fav published in 2022

😍 Fav new-to-you fic

🃏 Fav Wildcard (a reread, rarepair, different fandom, the spare spot on a BINGO card)

📅 Favourite(s) Published in 2022 📅

Kept in Cages by @sweet-s0rr0w (hp: drarry, E, 76k, @hd-wireless) - most phenomenal slowburn and stellar worldbuilding, Draco being fantastic with magical creatures, chubby, depressed Harry (and his depression arc is handled SO WELL too) and a whole array of side characters and truly touching scenes that made my cry A LOT. Also, those Malfoys are *somethig else*!! Never before I have been so impatient to know who's the author and the second the reveals dropped I RUN to Lauren's DMs to yell about how much I loved this fic sdfghj

Fool Me Twice by @sorrybutblog (hp: drarry, E, 38k, @harrydracobang) - so it's a case fic but it does a great reverse of the usual Auror Harry trope, as it's Draco who's job is to solve the (so well plotted!!) mystery and Harry is very much in his way, even if not on purpose haha Also, their banter here is *chefskiss*

Open Fire by @slytherco (hp: drarry, E, 38k, @hd-wireless) - canon divergence of what would happen if the war didn't end after Battle of Hogwarts, written in a perfect Tarantino vibe that left me shook a lot and in the best way possible! Ola's worldbuilding here is phenomenal and it also has one of the most steamy shaving scenes you will ever read, trust me.

Romp and Circumstance by @wolfpants (hp: drarry, E, 35k, @hp-bodiceripper) - so it's basically canon hp world but set in a Regency Era? How brilliant is that?? All the Mr-s added before their surnames created such insane tension I could YELL and it was hot AF and so full of pining and jealousy and denial and truly stellar descriptions of era's outfits.

The Inconvenient Death(s) of Harry Potter by [anonymous] (hp: drarry, E, 33k, @hd-erised) - my Erised gift from this year and I'm ITCHING to know who wrote it so I can shower them in love sdfghjkl But believe me when I say it's here without bias, as it's a perfect mix of hilarious and hot and did I mention it's a time loop fic? It features, among other brilliant things, dramatic Draco being frustrated about Harry's choices of running attire, a serial cat rescuer Harry and Tommy the Swan - tell me you're not intrigued!!

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (hp: drarry, M, 14k, @hp-bodiceripper) - ok, first of all: Draco here dresses like Indiana Jones and I'm still not over it and it's been MONTHS. It's an epistolary fake dating fic written in Tee's signature gorgeous prose with brill characterisations and captivating magical theory and I hope I can squeeze some re-read time in 2023 as I very much itch to get back to this one.

The Final Case of Auror H.J. Potter by @pennygalleon (hp: drarry, E, 14k, @harrydracobang) - Penny wrote this fic based on my art during the Reverse BB and I don't think I'll ever be chill about it? Harry's self-discovery here is handled in such a good way, the pining is stellar and it's funny and hot and hilarious AND has Penny's signature drarry banter that never fails to make me grin!!

facedown on my bed (thinking of you) by @onbeinganangel (hp: drarry, M, 10k) - to quote Mari's own words: "Canon remains canon but Hogwarts is an all girls school". And it's such a BRILL idea I could scream about it nonstop!! Their characterisations are so stellar here and they were roommates and had such perfect dynamic and the pining was through the roof!! I had no idea how much I needed a fem!au drarry before I have read this fic tbh and it was everything I could have hoped for in that regard.

😍 Favourite New-to-Me Fics 😍

Impatient to Be Free by @idiopath-fic-smile (les mis: ExR, M, 19k, 2020) - so it's an 1950s les amis lesbian au and I actually don't think you need to be familiar with les mis fandom to appreciate this story? The research done here is honestly insane, the dynamics between two main characters are truly stellar and I could cry over the beauty of author's writing style!! I cannot believe it took me two years to get around to read this gem of a story but I will make up for it by reccing it at every given opportunity sdfghjk

🃏 Wildcards 🃏

steve harrington's six-step guide to getting the guy. by @metaldeads (stranger things: steddie, T, 34k) - steddie is the very first Stranger Things pairing I ever felt the need to read fics about and this one not only fixes what canon ruined in such a gorg way, but also spoils the reader with such perfect characterisations of its characters (not only Steve and Eddie!!) you will actually feel like you're watching a special episode of the series (only better tbh). It was funny and touching and so full of yearning omg!!

elegantly bound by @alchemistc (ofmd: steddy hands, M, 25k) - what kind of Karol's rec list would it be if there wasn't at least one poly ship here? I haven't expected to fell in love with Izzy as much as I did and even more so that I'll be so in love with the idea of him with Ed and Stede... And this fic not only caters to everything I love about their triad, it makes sure to give Izzy some extra backstory (and as a bonus some Black Sails refs!!!!) but it also develops the feelings between all three of them SO WELL! Author takes their time and makes sure they all can get some proper dynamics development: in pairs and all together which I love BEST in poly fics!!

Familiar as a Bottle and a Glass by @queeniegalore (CoD MW2: ghostsoap, E, 12k) - I'm ending 2022 with a very unexpected OTP (and I haven't even played any CoD game, what happened asdfghjkhgfgh) but I'm honestly so obsessed like I wasn't in a very long time!! And THIS FIC, oh my, when I tell you it has the most brilliant pacing of going from UST to RST I have ever read I'm not even being dramatic, it's SO GOOD. The tension here is insane and the dialogues are actual gold of a prose!!

Since I already went way over the og number of mentioned fics and I know a lot of you have already been tagged by others - let's say everyone tagged in this post may consider themselves tagged to share their own favs too. I'm also leaving an open invitation for anyone else who'd like to join - please tag me, so I can see your lists!

#hp #drarry #fic rec #les mis #ghostsoap #steddy hands #steddie #ExR

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi, India!!

I’m writing my first fic for a fest and I was so excited about it. But I reread what I wrote so far and it’s just soooo bad 😭 I can’t think of anyone reading it, specially because english is not my first language and I fear my writing is not natural or fluid enough.

Do you have any advice on how can I take my mind out of this though and just write for pleasure as I used to? 🥲

Hey, love 💕

I’m sorry this took me awhile to answer. (I’m also not the most eloquent right now, I’m sorry.) Honestly, it’s a little funny that you chose to ask me this question, because I’m notorious for being very, very in my head about my writing and being consistent about quality.

To be fair to that, and to you, I’m going to try and give you a handful of answers, from different perspectives. They can be taken together or separately or not at all, whatever suits.

First, most importantly, and most pragmatically:

1. Get a beta you trust.

I know the face of this fandom has changed, I know content creation has dwindled and that less and less people are able to support writers this way, but honestly, for me, this is more important than almost anything about the writing process, and especially so if you’re writing in your second, third, fourth language. There are just too many nuances to language and verbiage, and it helps so much for someone to say “I know what you meant here, but it doesn’t read like that.”

(I don’t believe in ever letting my work go unbeta-ed, no matter how confident I feel in the raw work or the language, because of course I know what I meant to say — I’m the writer. I need some to firmly (but kindly) check that the audience understands it as well.)

Betas also help in terms of managing self-criticism, because being hard on yourself is just not always something you can change, especially if you care about the story and skill-building. A good beta will help by either saying “it’s not bad, you’ve just read it too often, put it down” or “why do you think it’s bad exactly” and help you improve it.

Second, on the concept of writing for pleasure:

2. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not fun.

People often mistake “fun” for “easy”; I don’t think it’s the same. I think when you enjoy something and are passionate about it, it’s going to cost you and force you to push yourself. There’s no such thing as “low-stakes passion”, that’s just incongruous. (Marathon runners don’t keep running races that are easy for them. They progress because they like it — process, challenges, rewards, everything.)

Similarly, you clearly write because you love it. But if you’re getting to the point where you’re cognizant enough to be self-critical, that means you’re improving. It means there are things you want to convey that your skill doesn’t allow you to yet.

Hold on to that, because that’s motivation. It means that you love something enough that you’re consumed with doing it justice. That tension is not a bad thing; that’s where a hobby turns into a passion and the solution is not about regressing back to something low-stakes — it’s about finding out how to bridge the gap between your skill and your ambition.

And third, focused on the output:

3. Focus on how much you want your story to exist.

Most of the time, writing is a long game. It’s about consistency and effort and focus and discipline, and all of those things are tiring as fuck.

It’s so much easier to bang out a drabble and get the validation, and move onto the next “fun” idea. And that’s totally fine, except for when you want this particular story to exist this particular way.

I’ve found that’s the only thing that pushes me to stay motivated and devoted to writing — the thought that I just want this story to exist and I don’t want to live in a world where it doesn’t.

My boss always says this thing: “let the content lead”, and I think that’s true of writing. If you’re focused on weaving this idea into something tangible, if that’s mainly what drives you, the relationship stays between you and the story (not the story and it’s external reception) and that can alleviate the pressure a lot, because you shift into writing to fulfill an internal goal, and as long as that story exists, you’ve achieved that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think all of your concerns are valid. You have a very practical issue: the language barrier, that needs a very practical solution: a beta. But you’re also hitting a moment of growth in terms of your writing, and I don’t want you to look at that hurdle and assume it means you need to turn around. Things can be hard and also fun, and I wouldn’t want the fandom to miss out on this version of this story that can only be written by you just because you’ve outgrown your current skill set.

Lastly, and I think this is really important: remember that this is never going to be your last fic. So if it’s not perfect — if it’s not exactly the way you want it to be at the end — write another one that’s better, and another, and another. There’s room in this fandom for every version of you as a writer, and your chances to improve and represent yourself better are infinite. Write what you can write now, and then write something better later. 🩷

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #writing thoughts #writing for fun

[misscammiedawn]

Would you like to share any opinions on RUSH? You get extra points if they’re hot takes.

*HIGH PITCHED SQUEEEEEEEEEEE*!!!

Penny? I love you! Thank you for unleashing my thoughts!

VERY WELL! Let us begin!

I'm gonna list them in random order

- Time Stand Still is best music video and anyone who disagrees is being a grinch!

- Our favorite album is Roll the Bones and our favorite Live CD is A Show of Hands! I think Rush in Rio and Permanent Waves are the *best* though!

- They should just release the Different Stages live recording. It's pretty much out there as extra features on the other DVDs!

- The Clockwork Angels book and graphic novel are pretty average but are worth it for making Seven Cities of Gold not suck. The worst song is the best chapter of the novel

- I would buy a Blu-Ray that is just the backing videos for the live videos and I hate that the only backing vid that exists in full form is By-Tor from Rush in Rio (as an Easter Egg)

- Emotion Detector is the most underrated Rush song and I would have preferred Tom Sawyer or YYZ not get played in one of the tours to accommodate it in a concert! Only 44 songs have never been played live before and of them the only one that I think deserved to be played more is Vapor Trail because it is the ONLY title song of an album never played live (after Presto was pulled out for Time Machine)

- It is pronounced Why-Why-Zed. It is spelt Vapor Trails. The American spelling of Vapor is essential to the song's message

- Analog Kid is Alex's best song, Ghost of a Chance and Between The Wheels are second and third-- though live versions of Working Man are up there

- Geddy's solo at the end of Leave That Thing Alone (Time Machine Tour) is the exact peak of Rush, that was their highest point as a band!

- SARS Fest concert kinda sucked? Spirit of Radio with Paint It Black intro was amazing but the equipment was shot and they gave Alex a hot microphone. They also cut off the "encore" which just sucked. I am also a little salty that Rush were an opening band for the Stones *in Canada*.

- Tom Sawyer is overrated and they're not even Peart lyrics. Limelight and YYZ off of the same album are better.

- Neil's Ayn Rand period is a valid part of Rush history and provides so much extra context to The Garden. The same pen that wrote "begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more" ended his life with "the measure of a life is a measure of love and respect, the way you live and the gifts that you give, in the fullness of time it's the only return you can expect" - a man with a storied life as Neil with as much tragedy as he endured ended with him completely giving and loving in his heart when 35-40 years prior he wrote empathetically that "you don't get something for nothing"

- La Villa Strangiato is in my opinion not just the best instrumental but it is in contention for best Rush song period. I would never give it that title because it lacks Peart's lyrics and I find that people who say that have an irrational dislike of Geddy's voice... but it's still a valid take. Natural Science would get my all around best song badge. But best and favorite are not the same in my world and even still I mean *technically proficient* mixed with lyrics. I'll change my mind, likely. But that's my feeling right now.

- Geddy didn't get vocal training until before My Favorite Headache (2000) and Neil didn't get jazz drumming instruction until Burning For Buddy (1994). Both artists were just fine as they were but they perfected their arts and I prefer late era Rush because of that. The band never stopped evolving.

- I would have liked to have heard one of the solo album songs live (I Am The Spirit, Promise or My Favorite Headache) or have Bob and Doug do Take Off for a charity event like the South Park or Hawkings concerts last year. I *still* want that. Neil wasn't involved in the solo albums. It could still happen.

- I want a Jukebox Musical of Rush music so that The Body Electric isn't the only piece of fiction scored to Rush.

- Alex Lifeson could have been a comedian. He's one of the funniest humans on the planet.

- Peaceable Kingdom is better for having been the only song where lyrics were written after the music. Vapor Trail has amazing lyrics in general but I feel the limitation had positive impact and I wish Neil and the band did this practice more than once.

- Rush's improvised and last minute songs when they are running out of studio time are the best. Malignant Narcissism was the result of the album director seeing Geddy warming up with a vintage fretless bass and said "put that on the album" so they composed around the improvised riff, Force Ten was literally a last minute addition to Hold Your Fire. La Villa is said to have been recorded in a single take (I do not believe that legend as it wasn't in any of the biographies I have read). Rush just work best with limitations. They're a bunch of goofs and giving them a time limit makes them go into a Saitama style serious mode.

---

I could write tons more. But I'll call it there.

I like Rush.

A lot.

More than you think I do.

#cammie asks #rush posting #rush is a band #rush #okay it started as Cammie asks #but the Rand line was pure Camden #the first constant

[buckyismybicycle]

Title: Miles Away [READ ON AO3] Pairing: Rockstar Bucky Barnes/Female Reader Rating: Explicit  Tags: Long Distance Relationship, Mutual Pining, Fingering, Love Confessions, Falling in Love Summary: How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be? When I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home

This is also for @buckybarnesbingo Flash Bingo K: "Kitten"

«« Part 1 | Part 2 | Series Masterlist | Part 4 (TBD) »

Bucky is the drug in your veins, the electricity that runs through your body. You had no idea how you had managed to fall so fast and so hard for someone, but as Bucky heads into the next state and you head in the opposite direction toward home, you realize just how magnetic he was. It took every ounce of willpower to keep yourself from making that U-turn and driving yourself right back into his arms.

Was it perhaps a little obsessive to download everything of his? Every single album, song, and even remix? Maybe. But his voice is the one that you want to wake up to and the one you fall asleep to. It’s his old school rock songs that you wake up to, that hype you up for the day and his post-hardcore songs that get your blood pumping during a run or get your body swaying as you clean your apartment. It’s his acoustic songs that lull you to sleep, his voice softer than it has any right to be, sweet in your ear.

Even though you call, text, and videocall, there’s a piece of you that craves his physical touch, that yearns for the solid warmth of his body to accompany that sultry voice of his.

He finishes his tour, and his next, and then before you could figure out what hit you, your one-night stand turned two-day stand has bloomed into something you weren’t sure you were ready for.

His next tour is in Europe and it feels like he’s gone for ages before he comes back even though it’s only three weeks. You only get to see him once, before he’s swept away again, back into a recording studio so he can keep doing what he loves, and that’s when you realize you miss him.

Then it’s off to Riot Fest in Chicago for a weekend, which isn’t terribly far and yet it feels hundreds of miles away. He’s supposed to be there in two weeks.

The thought makes you a little weak, but you couldn’t let him catch onto anything. He hadn’t asked for anything more and you knew what the life of a rockstar was like. Hell, they wrote songs about it all the time! Sex, drugs, partying, that was the rock and roll way, right?

Though… Bucky had never exactly been like that when you two spent time together. He’d have an occasional drink, maybe a cigarette, and he turned down invites to go clubbing, choosing to instead spend the night with you. Sometimes, you wouldn’t be doing much of anything and you wonder if he ever felt bored just cuddling up on the couch with you, watching a movie, ordering in. It all seemed pretty mundane now that you thought about it.

“Maybe it’s a little straight-forwad o’ me, doll, but I’d love to see you before I go. Maybe… Stay a few nights?”

You didn’t have to think about it, really. “Of course, Buck! You know I love having you here. But… Well, are you sure you wanna spend your limited days here in my tiny apartment?”

There’s a low chuckle on the other end of the line that makes your stomach flutter. “Sweetheart, there’s no place I would rather be.”

You smile a bit, cheeks warming at his words. “You’re always welcome here, Bucky.”

“Alright, well, we gotta wrap a few things up at the studio in a few days and I gotta pack and all that, but I can be down by… Thursday? Is that too soon?”

It wasn’t soon enough, actually. If you could, you’d have Bucky here right now. Instead, you breathe in for a count or two before responding. “Thursday’s great.”

“Lookin’ forward to it, baby.”

♪♪♪

There really isn’t a need for you to be nervous. Maybe, if you had known who he was before seeing him, or if you had anticipated for even a second you’d see him more than once or twice, it would be a different story. Instead, you had thrown caution to the wind, almost certain you’d never see him again. You answered all his questions without holding back, gave up every secret and detail like it was nothing.

Bucky had done the same, though you weren’t sure if it was due to the same reasons or because Bucky was simply an open book. Always boisterous, always open, you didn’t really see Bucky hide much, if you were honest. The things you could find on the internet about him… Jeez.

But you two kept coming together, time and time again, and by then it already felt like you’d known each other your whole lives.

There was no point trying to think about something else — Bucky consumed your thoughts and you happily let him. Humming along to one of his songs, you cleaned up around your place, picked up groceries and threw yourself into work to put all that pent up energy somewhere.

By the time Thursday rolls around, your skin was tingling with anticipation, as if craving his touch. You could even see a slight tremor in your hands as you prepared dinner some time after you received the text from Bucky saying he was on his way. It would still be two hours before he got here, driving from the next state over.

When the buzzer rang in, you had nearly dropped your phone in the pan. Oh god, Bucky was here!

You checked yourself one last time in the hallway, before unlocking the door, leaving it open a crack, and then cleaning the kitchen up quickly.

“Babe?”

Your heart skips a beat as you go toward the shuffling noises by your door. Despite the fact that you see him all the time — whether it be by video, album covers, or music videos — he still takes your breath away.

He’s dressed simply, in black jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a plain zip-up hoodie under his light jacket but you think he looks perfect.

“Bucky,” you greet as you close the distance.

His clothes and skin are still chilled by the outside, and you shiver in his arms a bit.

“Heya doll,” he murmurs into your cheek before he pulls back and looks you over from head to toe, the same way you’d done to him.

Your cheeks get a bit warm at the focused attention.

“God, I fuckin’ missed you,” Bucky says abruptly, tearing his jacket and sweater off in one go, pressing his lips to yours.

You melt into the kiss, hands coming to cup his face, hands warming his cheeks as he steps out of his shoes and crowds you up against the wall.

“Missed you t — ah!” You don’t get to finish your sentence as Bucky nips at your neck.

“S’that right?” Bucky asks voice gruff and teasing in your ear.

You nod frantically, hands scrabbling at his shoulders while he presses his entire body against yours. Goosebumps form across your skin when he gets his hands under your shirt, partially from the fact he’d just come outside but mostly because you’ve been dreaming of his touch ever since you last saw him.

“Bucky,” you gasp against his mouth.

“Oh fuck, yeah,” Bucky groans, running out of patience and scooping you up by the back of your legs. “Love when you say my name, baby.”

Your legs automatically wrap around his waist, your hands running through his soft chestnut hair and wrapping around the back of his neck. He doesn’t seem to be in any rush whatsoever, his tongue slow but firm across yours as you both pant for air, hot breath across your cheeks with every struggling exhale.

“Bucky,” you say again, this time breathless, as you squeeze your legs around him.

“Mmm? Can I help you with something, kitten?”

You can’t help the sharp inhale of breath, your heartrate picking up speed as he pins you with his intense gaze.

You’re already feeling dizzy, words getting harder to formulate so you try to answer with your mouth and body. Tugging at his hair and pressing back against him, you hope it conveys exactly what it is you want — and just how badly you want it.

“Missed me that much, huh?” He asks with a chuckle, finally carrying you to the bedroom.

You nod frantically. “God, yes, yes, missed you so much.”

He laughs and you can’t help but return it, the both of you fumbling your clothes off in a hurry, limbs getting caught as you try to tear the fabric off of each other.

When he lowers you into bed, your entire body is heaving with anticipation as you dig your fingers into him, refusing to let him go.

Bucky kisses down your neck softly, slowly like he hasn’t a care in the world while you were a squirming mess underneath him. You feel goosebumps forming as he breathes out hotly along the trail his tongue leaves behind. It feels like he’s mapping out every spot that makes you howl and filing it away for later, smirking as he breaks you down bit by bit.

“Fuck, Bucky!” You wail, curling his fingers into fists along his shoulder.

“Yes, kitten?”

Oh, you could just kill him right now! He knows exactly what he’s doing, of course, and you know that. You know that he’s purposely teasing you without giving you much, knows that he’s practically purring in your ear, all the sweet nothings and pet names to get you riled up.

“How’m I supposed to know what you wan’ if you can’t even tell me, sugar?” He continues, fingers finally entering you, the slick making it so, so easy. “Jesus, sweetheart, already so wet for me and I only jus’ started.”

You clench around him in every sense of the word — pussy clamping down around his fingers, legs locked tight around his waist.

“Aw, sweetheart, y’gonna come already?” Bucky asks, fingers slowly curling inside of you while his thumb runs over your clit from left to right slowly. “I haven’t even put my mouth on you…”

You let out a loud whine, our hands tugging at Bucky’s hair hard enough that you’re sure it must hurt but he doesn’t give any indication of it. “Bucky, please, I c-can’t —”

The rest of it gets lost in a moan that gives away the fact that you’re right there.

“Can’t what, princess?” Bucky mocks. “Can’t even speak, can you?”

You can’t bring yourself to care even the slightest bit about Bucky’s goading, the feeling overwhelming your entire body as you dig in while you come hard enough that you could swear you blacked out for a moment.

It’s like being underwater, the sounds muffled in your ears — Bucky’s chuckle, drowned out by your fevered panting, your heartbeat.

“Nnnnggggg,” you groan, limbs heavy and uncoordinated as you essentially become one with the mattress.

Bucky’s smug face looks up at you while he kisses below your belly button as your stomach and chest still heave for air. “You okay there, doll?”

“Oh, fuck you,” you huff out, laughing along with Bucky as he crawls back up to kiss you.

“Mmm,” Bucky murmurs between your lips meeting.”Wanna fuck you.”

Even if you had just come, it’s like Bucky’s words ignite your body all over again. You smile dopily at him, hands cradling his face and running your thumbs along his stubble. “Yeah? Well what’re you waiting for?”

Bucky’s responding grin sends shivers down your spine again. Settling in, hauling your hips up until your ass rested on the top of his thighs, he licks his lips like a panther with its prey.

  ♪♪♪

You wake before Bucky does, your body pleasantly sore and still tired. With a small wiggle, you settle back into his arms, taking the time to just enjoy the moment and memorizing it. You let him sleep a bit longer, knowing he has a long night ahead, though it’s not like you could pull yourself away if you wanted. There was only an hour left with him, so you had to make the most of it and look over every detail in front of you.

It was so easy to imagine that this was your actual life — waking up beside this beautiful man, sharing more than just your bed with him. Your home. Your heart.

You trace a light finger along that sharp jawline and Bucky inhales deeply as he rouses.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he mumbles, eyes slowly blinking open.

“Good morning,” you whisper,. “It’s almost 10:00.”

“M’gonna miss you, dollface,” Bucky whispers, voice raspy with sleep and — well, maybe it was more than just sleep.

“Pfft, yeah right,” you tease. “Girls are gonna fling themselves at your feet and you’ll have your pick of any one of ‘em.”

You had tried to keep the tone light — joking — but it obviously doesn’t quite work.

Bucky gets a little furrow between his eyebrows as he props himself up on an elbow to look down at you, searching your face for something. “Is that actually what you’re thinkin’?”

You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. It was the truth, but you hadn’t planned on sounding so pathetic. Sighing, you tuck the covers under your chin as you look up at him. God, you’d miss this face — the stunning eyes, that little dimple in his chin, the way his hair looks when your fingers have been running through it, gripping it, pulling it.

“Bucky… I knew when you first kissed me that you wouldn’t be staying.” God, it even hurts just to say it out loud. “You’re — you’re literally famous. You’re a rockstar! I’m —”

“— mine,” he finishes, interrupting you. “You’re mine.”

You bite your tongue, because he’s about to hit the road and you don’t want your last moments with him to be about this. About the way your stomach flutters when he says that you’re his so adamantly, like he doesn’t say it to the other girls you’re sure he’s picking up along the tours.

“Hey, c’mon,” Bucky coaxes, a gentle finger crooked under your chin to make you face him. His brows are furrowed as he looks at you. “What are you goin’ on about, huh?”

It’s painful to even think about it — letting yourself believe that maybe this meant as much to him as it meant to you, but it was impossible, wasn’t it?

“Nothing,” you lie. “I just miss you sometimes, that’s all.”

He snorts with a short laugh. “Babe, I miss you all the time.”

Looking you in the eyes, he props himself up on elbow, his other hand stroking your jaw lightly. “You know, I never thought I’d hate touring but sometimes… I just wish I could stay here instead.”

“Oh my god, don’t say that!” You admonish, a strange feeling working its way up your throat. “You’ve said it yourself, you were born for this! Bucky, you really, really are so talented. You were made for this. I still remember seeing you on stage for the first time, I’ll never forget it. I felt so alive, Bucky. Better than I had in ages. I felt free — like I was flying and… Everyone out there should experience that, too. They need to.”

“I ever mention how fuckin’ incredible you are?” Bucky asks, his eyes a bright, shining blue. It’s not often that you’re the one making him bashful, but it feels damn good. It’s not like you had even tried to, you had simply been telling him the truth. “I — you know I’m just a phone call away, right?”

“I know.” You try smiling for his benefit before pulling him in for a kiss that hopefully distracts him.

Whatever Bucky might’ve said gets lost as he tangles his fingers in your hair again, bringing you close to him. It turns from a leisurely kiss into something more frantic, like you both know that there’s an impending deadline. Needless to say, your distraction works.

In fact, it works a little too well. He shoves his feet into his boots, phone wedged between his ear and shoulder as he tries to explain to Natasha that he’ll be right there and no, of course he’s not going to be late.

You try to hide a giggle as he throws the last of his things haphazardly in his bag and hangs up.

When it comes time to your goodbyes, you hug each other tightly. Bucky smells like you, like your sheets and your shampoo, he even smells like your lotion with how much time you’ve spent pressed up against him.

God, is it ever difficult for you to let him go. Something must show on your face because as Bucky’s about to say goodbye, his face falls for a second.

“Sweetheart —”

“No! No, it’s okay,” you rush to reassure him. “Really, baby, I’ll be fine. It’s nothing.”

You can see he’s not entirely convinced, but it’s enough that he relents and gives you a long, sweet goodbye kiss.

“See you when I get back?”

You nod without thinking. “Yeah, of course.”

♪♪♪

“What’s wrong with your face?” Nat asks him the moment he scrambles onto their bus and throws his bag on his bunk.

“Fuck you, my face is perfectly fine,” he shoots back, though there’s no real heat to it.

“Ooooooh,” she taunts with a wicked grin. “Someone’s in loooooooove.”

“N — shut up!”

He’s clearly outnumbered when Clint laughs from the small couch and Scott howls from the bathroom of all places. What the fuck is his life.

Natasha takes some pity on him, at least. Because she leans in close before she whispers to him with a wink. “That’s not a no.”

He hates the way she catches onto everything. It’s true, though, it’s not a no. Truthfully, Bucky’s not really sure what love is. Despite singing an inordinate amount of love songs, he’s never felt it as deep in his bones as he does now. All the songs from their albums were different now — all the lyrics that spoke of love, the lyrics that Bucky never thought he would connect to like the rest, they made sense now.

He takes out his worn, trusted and beloved journal, and puts pen to paper, his thoughts flowing out of him like a tsunami. His words fill up the blank spaces between his various other scribbles and doodles.

♪♪♪

You lay on your couch, Netflix playing at a low volume as you try to unwind from the day. Besides immediately taking off your work clothes and microwaving some dinner to settle in, you hadn’t done much else. Except miss Bucky, of course, which made you feel so pathetic. God, it’s only been a day.

When your phone goes off, you get a thrill of excitement before you realize that there’s no way it could be Bucky, he’d be performing any minute now. The name that pops up surprises you nonetheless, and you pick it up wondering if it was good news or bad news.

“Peter?”

“Oh, hi! Um, Bucky wanted me to call you and — are you busy right now?”

You stared at the TV playing nonsense you weren’t even paying any attention to. “No, I’m not busy, just — is everything okay?”

“Uh-huh, yeah! Great. They’re technically done but they’re doing one more encore song and it’s gonna be real special. He wanted you to watch! Can I FaceTime you?”

“Yes! Of course!” You didn’t do a good job of hiding how enthusiastic you were about the fact that you could see Bucky again so soon.

“Okay, hang on —”

The moment you accept his videocall request, you gasp. The crowd in front of Bucky’s stage was huge! You were so happy for him — for the whole band, really. They deserved to be heard and recognized.

There was Bucky, front and centre stage like usual. Except this time, the rest of the band wasn’t with him.

“Can you see okay?”

You giggle at Peter’s concerned, faraway voice and holler back at him. “Yep, I’m good!”

“Tonight I’m doin’ somethin’ a lil different,” Bucky says into the microphone as he adjusts the strap of his acoustic guitar over his shoulder. “It’s been a while since I brought out ol’ Betsy for you guys, huh?”

The crowd gives a laugh as Bucky tunes “Betsy” expertly, pulling the microphone closer to him. “You better feel lucky, ‘cause you’re gonna be the first ones to hear this. Are you ready?”

The cheer from the crowd is nearly a screech, whistles and catcalls mixed in.

A new song? How exciting! You wonder if this is why Bucky wanted you to be on the call, and smiled at how sweet that was.

“This one’s for a special angel of mine,” Bucky declares before he strums away, the opening notes slow but sure.

Special angel — no, it can’t be…

I pack my bags and say goodbye to my divine

For what seems like the millionth time

They said it gets easier, but they lied

She looks at me and says "Really baby, I will be just fine"

But then she looks away, so I don't have to see her cry

And that is when I ask myself

You freeze, hearing the exact words you’d said to him that morning. There couldn’t be a coincidence — Peter had very specifically called you, which meant that this was for you. That you were “angel” that Bucky was dedicating this song to.

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home

She needs me, but I know they need me too

So God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do.

Well really I'm so thankful for the people I meet, the places I've been and the things I've seen

But when she's not here it doesn't feel like I'm living my dreams

I know they say that no one is perfect, but I swear she's perfect for me

And that makes it so much harder to leave

You’ve already started crying from the indescribable feeling that washes over you. Perfect for me — Bucky had just said that! You were in disbelief, and despite how sad the song sounded, it was also breathtakingly beautiful, just like everything else Bucky does.

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home

She needs me, but I know they need me too

So God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do

People say things like “music saved my life” or “music is my escape” and you always thought you understood what they meant. You enjoyed music too and almost always had some playing in the background no matter what you were doing.

You were so very wrong. This feeling, this sizzling, bubbling, tingling sensation that you can feel from head to toe is what it means to truly be moved by music. Like arrows, each one of Bucky’s words drive straight through your heart, sharp and unrelenting. You have to cover your mouth to stop yourself from making too much noise, desperate to hear the rest of the song.

If you miss me, I'm just a phone call away

Please be strong, be strong for me

I need you to show me how to change the inside of me

For my heart, for their sake, please be strong, be strong for me

Everything was blurry by now, the tears trickling down your cheeks as you hear his words — and yours — being played for hundreds of people live.

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone, so alone

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be?

When I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home

She needs me, but I know they need me too

So God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do.

You couldn’t believe it was over. The shock and the overwhelming feeling that you can’t quite place literally make you freeze in your spot, biting down on your lip to try and hold it together.

“And that’s all she wrote, folks! Well. That’s all I wrote, anyway. GOOD-FUCKING-NIGHT E’ERYBODYYYYY! WE LOVE YOU”

Love. The word sends a jolt through you as it all falls into place for you. You loved him and you just couldn’t admit it to yourself but it’s oh so clear to you now.

The applause was like lightning, cheers and howls mixed in as Bucky exited the stage, and the moment you could no longer see him, the first sob escapes you. There’s a shuffling noise, reminding you that you were still on a call with Peter and not up in the clouds where Bucky makes you feel like you are.

“Are you —”

“Hey, Peter, I gotta go!” You blurt out frantically. “Will you tell Bucky to call me later please?”

“Oh! Um, yeah, sure I can do that.”

“Thanks Peter,” you rush. “Goodnight!”

You only feel a little bad for hanging up on him, but you’d just have to apologize next time. Right now? Right now you had to bawl your eyes out at the fact that Bucky wrote a song for you. And not just a song for you, but a song about you, where he called you “his divine” and “his heart”.

All this time, you let your fears and insecurities get in the way, so convinced that Bucky wasn’t looking for anything more than an easy hook-up. How could you have been so blind?

You don’t know how long it is after the set is done before your phone rings again, and this time it’s Bucky’s name that flashes across your phone.

“Bucky, what the HELL!” You yell as soon as you hear the call connect, not even giving him a chance to say hello.

“Hi to you too, dollface.”

You can hear the smirk on the other end. “I can’t believe you!”

“Can’t believe what, babe? That I wrote a song for you? I always said I was gonna didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but —”

It’s true. He had always said that, but you hadn’t taken it seriously for even a second. “But I didn’t expect that!”

“Did you like it?”

“I loved it,” you tell him earnestly, voice cracking a bit as you get emotional all over again. “I loved it so much. I —”

You had almost let it slip right then and there. Heart pounding, you have to physically swallow the words down.

“Good,” Bucky says, nonchalant as if you weren’t on the cusp of a love confession. “I practically wrote it non-stop on my way here from your place. Wasn’t sure if it’d be any good to be honest with ya, only sang it once on the bus for the troops and they like fuckin’ with me. You promise you actually liked it and you’re not tryna make me feel better? ‘Cause y’know, I can always rework it and —”

“I love you,” you interrupt. It was just too much to handle, how endearing it all was that Bucky not only wrote this ode to you but he was even worried if you liked it, which was such a silly thought because you loved everything Bucky did.

“... You do?” Bucky asks, sounding adorably confused.

You grimace at yourself — what the hell ere you doing! “Sorry, sorry. I just — I don’t know I had to say it, Buck. That song was…. I’m —”

It was his turn to cut you off now, saving you from further rambling and embarrassment.

“I love you, too.”

You smile so wide that your cheeks hurt. Between the two of you and your newfound words for each other, you happily chat as you both get ready for the night. So absorbed in your conversation, both of you miss the social media storm until it’s far too late.

Thank you to @rookthorne as always for your support, encouragement and second set of eyes. This series exists because of you, sweetheart! 💕

#collab fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x female reader smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #rockstar!AU #your own star on hollywood boulevard #bucky barnes series

[kingsofeverything]

Thank you to anyone out there who’s read anything I’ve written, left kudos, commented, or messaged me to chat about anything I’ve written. I appreciate you so much 💛

🟨Remember Me Before You ~294k .E. Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

🟪Spring Fever ~4K .E. Harry’s finally out of the first trimester. He and Louis celebrate.

🟦As You Wish ~25K .E. Harry wished Louis free, and life hasn’t been the same since. Written for @onedirectionbigbang

🟥Southern Comfort ~5K .E. Girl!Direction. At a lavish engagement party thrown by her fiancé’s family, Louis meets what seems like a millions aunts and uncles and cousins, but only one stands out: Harry Styles, a gorgeous brunette in a red dress who makes Louis blush like she might catch fire. Written for @wankersday​.

🟩Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) ~7K .E. Everyone Dreams eventually, and everyone’s Dream is different, but all Dreams have one thing in common: They send the Dreamer on a Quest to find their Magic. It’s been months since Louis started his Quest to live as a hermit in a cave in the middle of the woods and he’s not about to let some new guy disturb his hermitage. Written for @1dastroficfest​

⬜️Just Pretend ~90k .E. Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn’t date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she’s spending the weekend with her mom. Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they’re dating to keep their kids happy. Written for @1dsilverfoxfest​

🟧honey, honey 100 words .NR. a villanelle style poem and drabble inspired by the song “Daylight” and written for @harryshouseficfest​

🟨Late Night Talking ~50k .E. Louis Tomlinson has a new album coming out and a second world tour on the horizon. Promo season gets underway with a stop at Late Night Talking, the late night show hosted by Harry Styles, and Harry Styles just happens to be the man who blew a chance to date Louis a decade ago. Written for the @1dreversebang based on the prompt and gorgeous gifs by @deludedandlostcause

🟦Midnight ~10k .E. “Alphas are for fucking and pheromones,” Louis said during their first conversation, when he was moving into the building and Harry offered to help haul boxes up the stairs. “I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.” Louis relented when his Omega friend Zayn intervened and asked if he was also capable of moving his couch by himself. All Harry’d wanted to do was be a good neighbor. Now, here he is, half a year later, balls deep and four months into a no strings attached, sex only situation with the Omega of his dreams. He’s still not sure how it happened.

The rest of my Annual* Writing Self-Evaluation is under the cut:

It's been a weird year for me w/r/t fic writing! I wrote my longest fic so far by very much a lot. It was a labor of love and for most of the 8ish months I was writing it, I was feeling very down about my skills and writing in general, but I was having fun with turning New Girl into a larry fic, so I carried on, and I came out the other side ok I guess?

I modded our yearly @wankersday fest and the @harryshouseficfest despite promising myself I'd only do wankfest, and the stress of it solidified that decision lol. No more modding for me (except wankfest).

I wrote 9 fics this year, the lowest number of fics per year since my first year writing, and I posted my first ever fic in October and still wrote 5 fics that year. 6 of my 9 fics this year were for fests. That's more pressure than I usually like to put on myself, but I survived, and here's what my year looked like:

Number of stories posted this year: 9

Word count posted this year: 490,127

Stories with the most:

Kudos: Remember Me Before You (713)

Comment threads: RMBY (656)

Bookmarks: RMBY (605)

Work you are most proud of (and why):

Remember Me Before You my New Girl AU, more than twice as long as the next longest thing I've written, it's really just a love letter to the show. Posting it as a WIP while I finished the last bit was daunting because it's the first time I've done a WIP that wasn't complete before I started posting, but it was so fun! The comments fueled me and I loved chatting with you guys as it was going. Some of you were already New Girl fans, some hadn't seen the show, some starting watching it because of my fic??? it was an experience!

Work you are least proud of (and why):

Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) for the @1dastroficfest. It was tough to get started and I think I tried like 4 different ideas for that prompt (The Hermit tarot card), but then Megan @homosociallyyours was like 'what if you took it very literally' and thankfully that worked! This was the first time I've ever been legitimately worried about meeting a deadline.

A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I'm never any good at picking snippets. I usually ask Nic @louandhazaf to assist, but this is part of a snippet I posted earlier this year, so... this is from Just Pretend, my older, divorced larry meet and decide to fake a relationship for their kids fic for @1dsilverfoxfest

According to his mom, he started flirting at two days old, and he’s only gotten better over the last forty-five years. Harry's had about that long to earn a doctorate in dimples. He wields them as he moves closer, pressing his chest against Louis’ palm and lifting his left hand to cradle Louis’ jaw. Cool despite the heat they’ve borrowed from his body, the touch of Harry's rings sends a shiver down Louis’ spine. His heart beats harder as he leans in. 

Louis’s never been a fan of tequila, but the sweet, peppery liquor is hardly perceptible under the taste of lime on Harry's tongue and the swirling, spicy scent of his sweat, deodorant and cologne. Three in the morning is only marginally cooler than midday and after working all night, Louis is damp with sweat and beer and he smells like it. Thankfully, Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He cups the side of Louis’ neck, fingertips toying with the ends of Louis’ silver hair, tickling and sending a thrill through him as he inches closer.

Grabbing hold of Harry's hips, Louis shifts his stance, stepping one foot between Harry's and sliding a hand around to splay across his lower back under the blousy hem of his half-buttoned shirt. Tilting his head, their noses bump, and Harry pulls back, wet lips parted, panting. Louis hardly has time to breathe before Harry guides him into another kiss, holding him so tightly that his forearm presses between Louis’ shoulder blades while his hand cups Louis’ neck. 

Hunching over Louis, his other hand tight on his hip, Harry bends him backwards—dipping him as if they were dancing—and Louis gasps into Harry's mouth. Hungrily, Harry sucks kisses over Louis’ jaw, down his neck to the hollow of his throat, dragging plush lips over the rough two-day beard Louis hasn’t bothered to shave before setting Louis back on his feet. 

Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i can't pick one. i'm terrible at picking favorites! but i will say that every person who read rmby as a wip and commented as they went, you guys are the real mvps of my 2022 fic experience.

A time when writing was really, really hard:

all year. no joke. and i know it seems stupid to say because i've posted almost half a million words this year, but i struggled to enjoy writing for much of this year. deadlines really fuck with my head, so i'm hoping to avoid those next year

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

my entire fic for @wankersday in may. it's my first ever time writing girl!direction so i was very nervous and the whole thing surprised me while i was writing it and it continues to surprise me whenever i remember it exists

How did you grow as a writer this year:

idk man. i wrote a kid fic! and i wrote girl!direction. so that's 2 never before things in 2022

How do you hope to grow next year:

tbh i hope to grow in my ability to experience fomo and live with it. i hope to continue to strengthen my ability to say no lol. i'm only planning on writing for wankfest this year, so who knows what'll happen

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

nic @louandhazaf is always in this spot. she's my #1, my best friend, the other half of my brain, and the only reason i write

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

doesn't it always? though tbh nothing specific i can think of at the moment

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

just write. and listen to @roseanddaggerpodcast :D

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am going back to school in january, so fic writing is being bumped way down the list of my priorities for 2023. like i said above, i only plan to write for @wankersday in may, but tbh idk if i'll be able to. Other than that, I’m looking forward to recording @roseanddaggerpodcast

Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

well, i drafted this post weeks ago lol and since then i've been tagged by @larryyouknow @jacaranda-bloom @louistomlionson @allwaswell16 @haztobegood @louandhazaf @chai-hat-tea @larrysballetslippers and i'll also tag

@londonfoginacup @bananaheathen @disgruntledkittenface @fallinglikethis @sadaveniren @jaerie @lululawrence @absoloutenonsense @alwaysxlarrie @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @cyantific @littleroverlouis @onlythebravest and if i tagged you in an answer above, consider yourself tagged here as well

*All answers should be about works published in 2022

#my fic #2022 #year in review

[sadghoststudios]

STATE OF PLAY 12/23: a little news and updates roundup!

Howdy all! Squeaking in just before the new year, I thought now's as good a time as ever for a little roundup of anything you might have missed, and what we're currently working on! Aiming to do these quarterly from now on 🫡✨

If you wanna keep up with posts like this from us without relying on social media, you can also sub to our newsletter! Promise not to annoy you. Good emails only.

Recap and news under the cut!

2023 Roundup

DemiDato

We had two releases this year, but DemiDato was the big one! For those that don't know, this game spent a long 5+ years in and out of development hell, so it was a big relief to finally put everyone's hard work out into the world back in March.

We were also lucky enough to feature DD in the Queer Games & Queer Halloween bundles this year, so even if you haven't had a chance to grab the game outright, check your itch library - you might already own it!

As for the future of our monsters, a 1.1 update is still on the cards! The bulk of it is already complete - there's some script tidying and quality of life improvements already in the WIP build, as well as a fancy schmancy CG Gallery (which you can see a little preview of in the devlog I wrote). 

1.1 development has admittedly stalled a little, as I really want to implement some animated video transitions plus an animated intro and trailer into its final build, but it's been hard to find the time to teach myself a whole new skillset while also being in preproduction for our new title (more on that in a bit!). In my head for all the years of development, the game has always had a really cheesy reality show intro with horribl(y good) graphics, just like the real life shows that inspired it. So even if the feature didn't make it to 1.0, I still really want it to happen eventually. (Plus, when we do eventually rerelease on Steam, a trailer is very important for the store page! That means it counts as futureproofing, right...?)

If you want to hear some more about what the release was like, my dear friend Kaiju of Digital Diversity interviewed me right after the game came out! You can read the interview on Digital Diversity over here.

GrandNya

Our second game of the year was a short little nugget written for 2023's Josei Jam, and devved almost solo by timepatches (hi! that's me!)

It'd been a long time since I managed to get anything off the ground in a jam setting, and I still find it a little intimidating (it's really difficult for me to get new ideas & iterate on them fast enough to meet the start deadline and recruit others), so solo dev it was! My art is hardly intricate but it gets the story across, and I'm proud of the VN as a whole - whatever you think of 'wholesome games' as a movement, it's hard to deny that we all need a cosy space now and then, and that’s the kind of story I like to tell most. And it's not like GrandNya is all sunshine, either, which you'll know if you got to the end!

I also managed to apply to Hand-Eye Society's Super FESTival with GrandNya, and was somehow accepted, which I'm still pinching myself about! What a stellar lineup of games to share a page with.

Fest aside, it was a pretty quiet release all things considered, so don't worry if you missed it! Your grandmas are still there on our itch page anytime, to give you a lil’ pocket of safe queer story to live in whenever you need it.

Intoxicated

Now for something completely different!! Despite some prior medical commitments around the jam date (which then got moved, typical), I was VERY stoked to be able to hop on the team for Kristi HusbandoGoddess' Yuri Jam game, Intoxicated!

It was an absolute blast. Turtles were drawn in the group chat for reasons I can no longer remember. It singlehandedly made me decide that I want to do more jam work on others' teams, because I forgot how fun it can be working toward a common goal in a more relaxed environment! 

And the game turned out incredible. Check it out if you support women's wrongs! ♡

Plans for 2024

[Codename BAT 🦇] (the big otome/amare game)

Oh yeah. It's big.

I won't spill too much just yet, but just know that I've had this idea as a vague plot bunny in the back of my mind for years. Then, as my dear friend Charlie and I were on VC beta testing a late DemiDato build, it came up and they were so excited about the idea that I couldn't help but start seriously thinking about how to make it.

Well. That was in March. After I took a break and worked on GrandNya, I've been working ever since on building out the world (it's set in the same universe as the rest of our library, but deals a bit more with the actual ramifications of it all, so I had to set some things in stone I haven't before). More recently I've been building out the most coherent, easy-to-follow outline I can (not my strong point, and bless my beta readers for their support while I complain about it). 

Very soon I should be able to start writing! Terrifying! I can't wait. Once I'm a fair way into the script writing you'll get to hear about exactly what I'm cooking, and I think... you'll like where we're going.

[Other Redacted Thing]

Not my project so I won't spoil exactly what it is, but I get to do some UI work for an upcoming jam project and I am SO excited! I get to work with some very familiar faces again! You'll know what it is as soon as I'm allowed to tell you 👀

What I will say is that it shares a coincidental similarity with my long project...

That's it!! ✨

Thank you for reading all my waffle (being long winded is my special talent), and for sticking with us through the inevitable periods of radio silence! We're still just little fish in a very big pond, but every time someone plays something I made and feels some type of way, I remember what the point of all this is. 

It makes me very happy to be able to share stories with y'all. Here's to more in 2024!

♡ Madi Wander (@timepatches)

#indie game #visual novel #interactive fiction #sgsroundup #sgsnews #thanks to those who stuck with us thru this + past years! onward and upward for 2024 :)

[haztobegood]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

Thank you @reminiscingintherain for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

67, soon to be 68 with the Trick or Treat Fest ficlet I've written!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

359,280

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction. I've written some 1d rare pairs which adds BBC Radio 1, Music, Fashion Model, and Actor RPF to my fandoms list in ao3.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nailed By Louis, Not Another Lonely Christmas, All That You Need, The Prince and The YouTuber, Take on Me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not right away but I do respond. I read them as soon as I see the email notification, but I wait to respond until I need a boost. It's so nice to reread every comment in my inbox as I respond.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Surprisingly not the one that ends with MCD! My angstiest ending is a 500 word girl direction ficlet The Phantom Heart.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love happy endings so it's tough to pick! I'm going to go with We're Getting Better With Time because it's about second chances, so the ending feels like a new beginning for their love.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest thing I've gotten to hate was a tweet about Premier Fantasies where someone was appalled by the Harry Styles/Ted Lasso pairing. It wasn't aimed at my writing, just the choice in pairing, so I took it as a compliment that I could write something that shocked people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write it, but not as much as I used to. When I started writing I felt so much pressure to add smut into every fic because it gets better engagement, more hits, etc. But the more I've written, the less I care about the numbers.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of crossovers! Premier Fantasies is Harry Styles in the Ted Lasso universe, which was crazy just because of the pairing. I had a lot of fun writing dialogue for Ted in this one. The craziest plot-wise is Love and Other Antidotes, which is a One Direction take on Emperor's New Groove, and features Kronk, Disney style hijinks, and Harry as a little cow!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I think short fics and rare pairs tend to be stolen less often, so so far I've been safe.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't allow translations, but someone did post a translation of one without asking. I have mixed feelings about translations.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I feel like as a capricorn I would want to have too much control over the story for it to be a good idea.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I read and write Larry fics the most, but I also love Niall/Greg James as a pairing and think their dynamic is so underrated.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My very first fic. It's a werewolf pack fic I started plotting in 2017. I didn't get very far before hitting some major plot holes that I was too inexperienced as a writer to be able to fill. I have grown so much as a writer since then that it wouldn't be the same fic with the same purpose as when I started writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

My biggest strength is that I write for myself. I love writing short oneshots even though long fics are get more kudos. I adore the humor of crack fics, even though angsty fics get more hits. I will tackle any new rare pair I want, even if I'm the only person that will read it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a creature of habit and my habits have been disturbed. I'd worked hard to develop a habit of writing a couple of times a week, and it was going so well. But after moving and other life changes in the last year, it's been difficult to find the time or energy to write. I wish I could flip on the motivation like a switch.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There are a couple of books I remember because of the author's use of code switching throughout the dialogue, and I think it can be really powerful for some stories. But since English is my native language, I would only use it for my own writing if it added to the story, and if had the time to properly research and get it reviewed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The phandom in 2016 but I didn't post it back then. One Direction was the first fandom where I shared my fic.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I'm going to do this by category because I can't choose only one:

Larry fic: We're Getting Better With Time Girl Direction fic: Close Our Eyes (Pretend We're Miles Away) Rare Pair fic: Now All The Clouds Been Lifted Ficlet: Through the Static

~~~~~

Tagging: @allwaswell16 @hazzabeeforlou @beelou @evilovesyou @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @kingsofeverything @banaanipoika9 @justanothershadeofblue @disgruntledkittenface @zanniscaramouche

#fics and wips

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (October 29-November 4, 2023)

Like me, you probably haven't seen Godzilla Minus One yet, making Fest Godzilla 4: Operation Jet Jaguar last week's most spectacular new watch. Kazuhiro Nakagawa's ambitions grow with each entry in this series; this time, he was helped by veteran Rider/Sentai suit actor Kenya Saito inside the great new Jet Jaguar suit. The ending wasn't quite what I predicted, but still set up what should be a spectacular showdown last year.

I wish these shorts weren't effectively the last vestiges of tokusatsu in the Godzilla series; I wish even more that Toho would allow them to stay on YouTube. This one, along with its associated behind-the-scenes videos, will stay around until the end of the year, as an apology for the Godzilla Day VOD having such awful audio as to be unsalvageable. But that still means its discoverability will take a serious hit, and it's unclear what Toho actually gets out of this artificial scarcity. Maybe they're plotting to release all the shorts on Blu-ray in a few years. In any case, download this one post-haste.

While he didn't get a new suit, Megalon still made a triumphant return in the other short film released on Godzilla Day, Godzilla vs. Megalon. A sequel to Godzilla vs. Gigan Rex, it's also directed by Takuya Uenishi. The live-action footage in this one helps ground the over-the-top monster mayhem, and a weakened Godzilla displays some cool new tricks, although I found his finisher unsatisfying. As for Megalon, well, he finally shows the world just how terrifying he can be when he takes himself more seriously.

After a mercifully brief marketing campaign, the 37th Godzilla movie, Godzilla Minus One, is in Japanese theaters (and it's making bank). I'm trying to go in relatively unspoiled (always difficult as a Wikizilla admin), but what little I have read has been promising. The basic premise, which the early promos have largely masked, sounds like a kaiju story I wrote in college, which I couldn't be more thrilled by. If you're feeling daring, there's a second trailer out.

We'll get the first episodes of Monarch: Legacy of Monsters even sooner than Godzilla Minus One. Accordingly, Apple has ramped up promotion, releasing a behind-the-scenes video (above), the opening title sequence, and the first scene of the series. We also have names for a couple of the new monsters (the new Skull Island beastie is a Mantleclaw and the critters hatching from eggs are Endoswarmers) and better looks at a couple others.

I joked after the Godzilla Day livestream that it was such a technical fiasco because Toho had put all its skill points into releasing Godzilla Minus One. Similar could be said for the Fathom Events release of Godzilla 2000: Millennium. The showing I caught was fine technically (one brief frame rate hiccup aside), just... uninspired. The preshow was the same brief behind-the-scenes footage of G2K included on the American DVD and Blu-ray; the film used the same translation as the Blu-ray. And now that the novelty of actually being able to watch it has worn off, I've soured considerably on the Japanese version of this movie. The languid score and sound design are especially glaring in a theater.

Godzilla Voxel Wars, available on Steam and Epic Games, probably should have been released in a week less packed with more attention-grabbing Godzilla news. Still zero reviews on Metacritic! Haven't played it myself, but fellow Wikizilla admin Les is enjoying it.

Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons #5 also added to the Godzilla onslaught. Still impressed at how big a role the Giant Octopus had in this (and what a brutal ending for it and Ebirah), but the miniseries wrapped up a little too neatly.

Despite backing it on Kickstarter, I had nearly forgotten about Godzilla & Kong: The Cinematic Storyboard Art of Richard Bennett. Turns out the reason the book has taken so long to be published (the campaign ended last May) is the page count jumping from "around 200" to 424! It's off to the printer now, so the wait is nearly over.

Worth posting again: the third BOSS Coffee ad featuring the new ShodaiGoji suit. Very little original footage in this one, but some first-class editing.

And a few other happenings I'll keep to bullet points so you can finally stop scrolling:

I forgot to post about Viz publishing volume 7 of Asadora! Huge props for introducing a kyodai hero without derailing the story (I won't say how, but it's quite clever).

After its brief Japanese theatrical run, the black-and-white version of Shin Godzilla is "under consideration for further development." Home video next?

The newest Godzilla Battle Line units are Super Mechagodzilla and a second version of Godzilla '54 who strafes his atomic breath and ignores most status effects. I've had virtually no time to play since the new season started (this post was typed entirely in a Georgia hotel room, put it that way), but I hear they're both stellar.

Godzilla trading card update: disappointment and confusion! The Godzilla Minus One promo cards were only available for a very limited time as add-ons to a $75+ TCGPlayer order. Meanwhile, nobody can find the packs of Surreal Entertainment cards that were supposed to arrive at Five Below on Godzilla Day.

Naturally, lots of toys revealed on and around Godzilla Day. Highlights include a Super7 Godzilla figure with an Imperial-inspired paint job, a Super7 SpaceGodzilla repaint blatantly based on Super Godzilla which sold out instantly, an S.H. MonsterArts Jet Jaguar '73, and Movie Monster Series figures for *inhales* Godzilla '55, Anguirus '55, Flying Stage Hedorah, Godzilla '64, and Minilla '67. The Godzilla Raids Again figures are both getting variants inspired by a Toy Dreams set from 2006. Bandai also started up another Movie Monster Series fans-pick-the-figure poll, but what's the point? They'll have every single Godzilla kaiju represented before the decade's half over. (And maybe by the end of the decade I'll be able to afford all the ones I want!)

#godzilla #the 69th #godzilla minus one #godzilla vs. megalon #fest godzilla 4 operation jet jaguar #monarch legacy of monsters #kaiju week in review #kaiju

[mydaroga]

Fest for Beatles Fans 2024 Write-Up

In case anyone wants to know what goes on at these things, I can at least give you a run-down of what I did at this one, though as always there was far more going down than any one person could see. I tend to favor panels and discussions over bands, so I am sure I missed a lot of great music. Because the bands were great.

It was held this year at the TWA Hotel, which is part of JFK International Airport and has retained a lot of the features of when it used to be a terminal. I posted photos of it last year when I was there on a layover, and I still love it to death. They did NOT let me ride on the baggage thingy though. In addition, I was unable to secure a room at the hotel, though if they hold it here again I will be snagging one because, like I said, the place is bonkers.

Friday

I entered my cross-stitch in the art contest, because why not? While there ran into several people whom I had met last August at the Fest in Chicago.

Beatles Biography panel with Vivek Tiwary (The Fifth Beatle graphic novel) and Madeline Bocaro (In Your Mind - The Infinite Universe of Yoko Ono). Vivek comes off very passionate and sweet, very respectful of Brian Epstein and cognizant of the importance of telling his story right. Bocaro is also very passionate, but I'm afraid some of us present her personal Ono pendulum has swung too far to admit any human fault in her subject. I later bought the Brian book, but not the Ono.

First Generation Fan Panel was mostly Leslie Healy recounting her adventures, which are legion: she was at the Ed Sullivan dress rehearsal, and at Shea Stadium, and she's *also* the one who got that audio at Paul's house when she visited all four Beatles in 1967. Also, she had a Bearded Collie, which I also had growing up, so that gave me a thrill.

I entered the 60s dress up contest -- second time as Twiggy was the charm, and I won! And then there was a lot of dancing. Gogo boots, ironically, not so much made for such activities.

Saturday

Chatted with some folks because it was more interesting that listening to the speakers, oops. The guy from the Ranking the Beatles podcast is lovely and we've already been in touch since. Also Terry Crain who wrote a great coffee table book about NEMS Beatles merch, which I bought last year.

Went to the dealer's room and bought silly buttons, like TO HELL WITH THE 'BEATLES' and I ❤️ PAUL. There were butcher covers and all that jazz, and horrid dolls, and all the lovely awful things, none of which I could ever afford. But I can buy buttons!

Lovely friends entered the talent contest and proceeded to the finals, and they kicked so much ass and I am so proud of them.

Academic panel with Ken Womack, Christine Feldmman-Barrett, and Andy Nichols was pretty good, a lot of talk about how subsequent generations get hooked and sort of the state of Beatles fandom/academia today. Which feels fairly positive, in the sense that all present felt there is more respect now than there was--though still room to improve on that score.

As a side note, all of my interactions with Womack convince me he's a great guy, very passionate in his love for the Beatles and very devoted not only to doing this right but in elevating lesser-heard voices. He's a very likable man.

Speaking of, next he interviewed Laurie Kaye, who did the radio interview with John on his last day. Her story was very moving.

Tried to dance again this evening after the talent show but unlike the previous night, everyone thought we were weird and stared forbiddingly at us from their seated positions.

But my PAUL IS DEAD / IF YOU WANT IT / HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM JOHN & YOKO shirt was a hit. Finally.

Sunday

Saw Jude Southerland-Kessler talk about the "birth of the beatles" but sadly it was NOT about the tv film of the same name. So I went to chat with Adrian Sinclair and Allen Kozinn instead, which they later tweeted about.

Beatlemania in the 21st Century panel was about, well, what it says. Next was Women's History of the Beatles which was also interesting and involved various writers, teachers, fans, podcasters, etc. I got to meet Erika from BC the Beatles which was very cool.

Then came the Laurence Juber and Steve Holley panel which I have mentioned elsewhere.

Jenny Boyd talked about fashion and the Apple Boutique, hosted by a lady who wrote a book about Beatles and fashion I would like to read.

Fantastic band with great additional harmonies, which I knew who they were.

I did not win the art contest. I did get a participation ribbon. I'm not even a millennial.

We then found a quiet place to chat, of which which the hotel had many, and then I needed to go to bed so I could be bad in like five hours for my flight.

I've probably forgotten lots of things but that is the general run down. There was also a video room, two stages for bands, more art, authors and guests at tables all weekend, and Mickey Dolenz, whom I did not meet but it's cool he was there.

#yes i know some of you were there too i'm just not outing you #kris talks a lot #beatlesfest2024 #fest for beatles fans