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yuniex07 · 3 months

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The Magnificent Century

Ok i've been rewatching this tv drama, and as a sucker for historical stories along with middle east aesthetics and culture...I had an urge to make a sort of adaptation/mix with my current obsession: BG3.

So this is an AU, where the ottoman empire will be represented by the vampire coven belonged to Cazador, ruling and conquering all the regions around Baldur's Gate.

Warning: I'm nowhere near to be a decent writer plus, english is not my mother language soo, I'm sorry in advance. Other from that, this is the draft or prelude chapter so nothing to warn unless you count the inplications of a boylove interaction triggers you somehow ?

In future chapters, if i dont get dissapointed in my ugly writting abilities theres going to be harem/noncon/pansexual/domsub/a little bit of Stockholm syndrome? who knows...

Words: 2151 ( honestly how people can write more than this? i was suffering!)

Pairing: for now Pansexual Astarion/Sebastian later Astarion x F!Tav(Lyanna/Love)

Read under the cut

Chapter 1: A new dynasty

In the year 1492 DR, amidst the intricate streets of Baldur's Gate's upper city, the Szarr Palace loomed ominously. Its gothic spires cast long shadows in the fading light of the sunset, forming an imposing silhouette against the darkening horizon. The palace pulsed with unsettling energy; guards and servants weaved through its corridors, torches and candles flickered along the grand halls, casting dancing shadows on opulent walls adorned with tapestries and gilded frames. The air held a palpable tension, thick with anticipation.

Outside the formidable structure, a figure clad in black leather carried a scroll sealed with crimson wax, imprinted with the family crest—a set of two groups of five rats and five mice intertwined by their tails in an inner and outer circle. The contents of this scroll would set into motion a series of events with far-reaching consequences. Approaching a similarly outfitted man mounted upon a steed that seemed to emerge from the depths of the netherworld, the messenger wasted no time. With unearthly speed, the horse thundered through the palace gates, its hooves echoing against cobblestones as it raced into the night. As the horse and rider vanished into the shadows, the wheels of fate began to turn.

Meanwhile, on a distant battlefield illuminated by the moon's pale glow, a bloody clash unfolded. An elven warrior, his red eyes ablaze with the thrill of battle, charged toward his next target with unparalleled speed. His pale skin was adorned with the blood of foes, much like the white locks that peeked out from beneath his war helm. With a swift swing of his short blade, he unbalanced an opponent, creating an opening to plunge a dagger into the enemy's eye, extinguishing its life in an instant. The elven warrior reveled in his prowess; his pale skin glowed in contrast to his black and red armor. The Szarr sigil on his chest delivered a silver gleam under the dim light. Behind him, figures clad in similar armor finished off the remnants of the enemy's army, their triumphant cheers echoing through the battlefield—a declaration of the Szarrs' indomitable might.

The Dragon Coast now lay under their control, a strategic stronghold for dominating trading routes and, inevitably, the region of Cormyr.

The elven warrior walked toward his tent, three figures following close behind. “Master Astarion,” a young human man said. He had fair skin, ash-blonde hair ending at his shoulders, brown eyes, and a middle-muscle frame. “We are so close to reclaiming the whole region under the crimson’s dynasty. Lord Cazador will be delighted,” the pale elf stood still at the mention of his master and progenitor.

Hearing his name ignited discomfort and fury in him. “To be honest, I could care less about what the old wretch thinks, Sebastian. Remember, we are just mere pawns to dispose of for his great conquests,” the elf said, concealing his annoyance.

“Be careful with your words, Astarion,” another man responded. His right eye was of white stone, scars adorned his face, and he had a rich, deep skin tone. But his more prominent feature was a couple of horns adorning his head. “Or what, Wyll? Are you going to tell the old bastard? Warlocks like you are a pain in the ass, always loyal to their masters,” Astarion said with venom in his voice.

“Just trying to save your sorry ass from another year locked in a tomb,” Wyll replied mockingly. Astarion’s eyes opened, and rage invaded his features. “You come and say that again!” he said dangerously approaching Wyll.

The third figure finally intervened, placing herself in the middle of them. “Enough, you two!” she commanded. The woman had a strong build, clearly a warrior with expertise, crimson skin, one horn on her head, and a fiery gold gaze.

“We've had enough blood and fights for a day. Can’t we just rest and clean up all the gore? You two do look like shit.”

“Say that to him, Karlach!” Astarion replied. “If you weren’t one of the master’s spawns I would’ve kicked your ass long time ago” – Wyll answered.

“That is also inappropriate commander Ravengard; our Lord’s spawns are like an extension of himself. You need to show him some respect” -Sebastian said

“Tsk”- Wyll, let out. “Unfortunately, Leon was the most suited for this crusade, and now I have to be stuck with the sharp-tongued one.”

“Too bad my little brother disobeyed Cazador and had to run away with that kid. Now he is been chased to face something worst to dead if he gets caught” - Astarion says in fake mockery, hiding emotions he dared to not show. Deep down he felt sorry for his “bother”.

“There’s time before the sunrise, everyone go get cleaned while the brigade returns with our war loot, then we will able to discuss our next moves.”- Astarion commanded, as the other three figures nod and turn around to leave him in his tend. Astarion takes off his helmet, unleashing rebellious white curls falling down his forehead, placing the helmet on the war table he begins to unlock the strands holding his black armor.

“I thought I said to go clean up, Sebastian”-Astarion says as he feels the presence behind him. The top side of his armor falls heavily on the floor.

“I know…I just wondered if the master needed help with his bath” -Sebastian replied. Astarion turned around to face him, revealing his chiseled torso uncovered and shimmering by the sweat mixed with a bit of blood, “Is that so?”- He said while raising an eyebrow and a smirk on his face, “Then by all means, help me out with my boots”. Sebastian nodded and kneeled in front of him to begin untying Astarion��s boots.

Once he finished, while still kneeling Astarion took Sebastian’s hair and pulled in a way to make him face him. “Good boy, now…work on my pants, then, you can help me with my bath”. Sebastian just grinned and nodded, “As my master commands”.

Far away from the war camp, the vampiric forces continued to loot the nearby villages, burning houses and reuniting the survivors that could serve as military or slaves. A small group of six people were running from the riot, within them two silhouettes leading them trying to get away by blending with the shadows of the buildings.

The smaller figure among them was sobbing and shaking, “Shh…Hayleen, you need to be quiet or they will find us”, -The bigger figure whispered, trying to soothe the little child. – “I’m scared, sister” – the child sobbed. – “They…they killed adar and naneth”.

The oldest on the pair frowned with a pained expression, she couldn’t help their parents, they gave their life to allow them to run, protecting her little sister was all she can do to honor their sacrifice. “I know! but you have to be strong for them.” - The child nodded and dried her tears with the inside of her sleeve.

The bigger sister peeked around a corner, no one in sight, “Alright, lets go and don’t look back”, they were so close to reach the woods, there was a hidden cabin by the lake deep in the woods, with a bit of luck, a boat might still be there. They could row until they reach Cormyr. “Just a little more, Hayleen” -Lathander have mercy on them, she thought. Suddenly three arrows landed in front of them, stopping their advance, no, was all she could think, “Everyone run!”- she said, while several dark horses and their riders approached them. There was no time, they were going to capture them both if she doesn’t do anything, “Take Hayleen, everyone get closer!”.

“NOO! Lyanna! Don’t leave me!” – Hayleen screamed to her sister as she was hold by another woman. Lyanna enveloped her sister and the other escapees with a sacret light, she never tried this conjure before, but it was her only choice. Her eyes glowed with divine light “Morning lord! lend me your strength! Word of recall!” a light orb surrounded all the survivors but herself, the conjure could only carry five people to safety.

The crying face of her sister was the last thing she remembered, what happened next was too fast, the riders reached to her a whip hold onto her ankle before she could have time to react and give in a fight, the movement of the horse rider made her fall and she was violently pulled a few meters before they stopped, her head hit the ground hard enough to leave her stunned. Her eyesight blurred as she as falling unconscious, the rest she remembers from that night was only darkness.

Astarion was comfortable lying in the tub, eyes closed as the warm water soothed him. “You seem more relaxed now” – Sebastian said as he delicately scrubbed Astarion’s torso with a sponge as he settles in, leaning his head on the pale elf shoulder. Astarion chuckles – “I might be…thanks to the good company”

“And some pampering, as much as the bloody semblance suits you, that helmet did outrageous things to your hair. Now you look back to normal” – Sebastian remarked as he tucked a lock of silver hair behind the elf's pointed ears. “Darling, you wound me! You know I would look fabulous even covered in mud and dirt” – the elf replied moving his hand with disdain.

Both men were enjoying a little peace until they hear a commotion outside the tent, looking at each other they hurried to put on some clothes to investigate the noises.

The night hung heavy over the war camp, shrouded in darkness and punctuated by the distant sounds of looting and chaos. Astarion and Sebastian hastily dressed up with comfortable clothes, knives and swords in hand, the commotion outside growing louder. They exited the tent, senses heightened, ready to face whatever disturbance awaited them.

As they stepped out into the night air, a rider emerged from the shadows, mounted on a horse that seemed to meld with the darkness itself. The steed's eyes glowed an eerie crimson, mirroring the seal on the scroll the rider held in his hand. Astarion recognized the rider as one of Cazador's palace messengers.

The rider dismounted gracefully, approaching Astarion with a deep bow. "My master Astarion, I bring grave tidings from the palace," the messenger said, his voice low and respectful. Astarion's eyes narrowed, a flicker of anticipation in his gaze.

"What news?" Astarion demanded, his tone betraying a mix of curiosity and suspicion. Sebastian stood by his side, observing the unfolding scene with a vigilant gaze.

The messenger handed the sealed scroll to Astarion. The crimson wax bore the imprint of Cazador's family crest—the two groups of five rats and five mice intertwined in an intricate pattern. Astarion broke the seal, unfurling the parchment.

The words inscribed on the scroll revealed the fate that had befallen Cazador Szarr. Astarion's eyes scanned the lines, absorbing the news of his master's demise. The air around him seemed to grow heavier, a moment of silence hanging in the balance.

Astarion's expression remained stoic, but a storm brewed beneath the surface. The messenger spoke cautiously, "Lord Cazador met his end in the pursuit of greater power. The Ritual of Profane Ascension has claimed him. He sought to transcend the limitations of vampirism but succumbed to it. All his spawns are to come back to the palace with ease as a new successor must be selected”

Astarion's grip on the scroll tightened, his jaw clenched. Sebastian placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, silently acknowledging the weight of the news. The rest of the camp, unaware of the unfolding drama, continued with its nocturnal activities.

"My master, by the decree of the coven, you or any of the other male spawns, are eligible to ascend and become the new ruler of the coven" the messenger continued, sensing the shift in power dynamics.

Astarion's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions—grief? No, far from it, it was a thirst for the newfound opportunity, and the power that could be in the palm of its hands.

"Thank you for delivering this news. Return to the palace; tell them I will make my way there immediately," Astarion commanded, dismissing the messenger. The rider bowed once more, mounted his shadowy steed, and disappeared into the night, leaving the camp in the wake of Cazador's demise and Astarion's road for ascension.

Sebastian turned to Astarion, his expression a mix of concern and loyalty. "What will you do now, my Lord?"

Astarion gazed into the distance, the campfires flickering like distant stars. "Prepare for a new era, Sebastian. The throne is mine for the taking, and the coven will bow to its new master."

As the words hung in the air, the vampire spawn contemplated the path ahead—the challenges, the opportunities, and the uncharted territories of leadership that awaited him under the moonlit sky.

#ascended astarion #bg3 #astarion x mc #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #astarion ancunin #lord astarion #astarion x sebastian #cazador szarr #bg3 cazador

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hxnguxng-jxn · 1 year

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Hey there i hope your not overloaded with requests or anything! If i can may i request a Suggestive Shen jiu x male reader scenario? Thank you. Gosh i just love this man! And i really like your understanding of his character and the way you wrote him.

Writer's Note(s): Thank you, I adore Shen Jiu and I want to do him justice! Shen Yuan's unreliable narration was clever to mask the truth but I'm upset a lot of people are still ignorant to his past and think he's guilty of all that Original Luo Binghe accused him of. (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠) This is a bit shorter, I started getting out of hand!

(Not saying everyone has to like him, but you have to know the truth from what Shen Yuan claims as "facts".)

Info On Reader: Reader is intended AMAB, and uses he/him. I'm ambiguous about how the Reader and Shen Jiu know each other, but it's long enough to be before the Sects. Reader being a fighter/scholar/strategist is ambiguous, but they are a part of the Sects.

Timeline: Preferably anytime but I was hoping this was a Shen Jiu happy ending route, but is ambiguous enough if you want PIDW's original plot.

【🔴】 Suggestive but requested content below. Nothing full NSFW, but very sensual flirting.

Fujoshis and Fem Readers DNI || Please enjoy!

First and foremost: we must address Shen Jiu's distrust for men and his responsibility as a Peak Lord. Shen Jiu is (although not trusted) a respectable Peak Lord that trains his students in elegant combat and in scholarly studies. His students can both read and write, and can perform advanced magics with weapons and instruments. He will not do anything in public where it might cause his students to see. Especially not Ning Yingying or that Luo Binghe...

And about his distrust: if you try anything before he declares himself your significant other, he'll swat your advanced away. He's trying to come to terms slowly that, yes, he likes men and you or Yue Qingyuan had made him see that...

But, if something happens that's neither of your direct faults, his restraint is going to burn faster then a wooden house in summer...

Memories he can recall to this day, while sitting in your lap and allowing you to kiss up and down his neck while combing his hair, usually weren't your fault:

The first time he could remember was when Shen Jiu had become Shen Qingqiu and he had been on a short fuse at the Peak Lord's mountain. Post meeting, he had seen you amongst the few lords and assistance running about, but he had seen you too late. Meeting you was actually meeting your mass and bumping into you, and if you happened to catch him at the waist, well...

The second time he could remember was when Shen Qingqiu had visited a local town for a joint training mission and you were on the registration to join. It was winter, so the local hot springs were basically used in the afternoon by the students, and adults at night. If he happened to see anything personal of yours while taking a dip and you asked if he needed anyone to tie up his hair, well...

The third time he remembers intimacy with you was in a raid on a demons den of flowers in a waterfalls cave. At first, it seemed the demon had abandoned the flowers to wilt and move on, but your group set the flowers off as you stepped on their leaves. Spewing sweet smelling gases at your party, the brief retreat almost choked Shen Qingqiu. The fever you had and the pitched gasps had him concerned for you, but the moan you let out in the infirmary tent is something else. If he needed a bath in the cold mountain rivers, well...

The fourth time...

Shen Qingqiu comes back to focus as you finish putting his hair up just the way he taught you and you retreat from him to start getting yourself ready. He's on his cushion still in his nightwear as you pick up your clothes and try to retreat to another room to dress.

"And where do you think you're going?" He asks harshly as the chill breezes of the morning finally settle in after you leave.

"We have to get dressed, do we not have students awaiting your instructions?" You already know the answer and you wanted to collect your boots before retreating, before small leafs imbued with magic slip them away from you.

You stare at them with captivation as they landed right before Shen Jiu, now standing in all his steadfastness before the cushions. Shen Jiu now has his fan, still folded, and is tapping it against his palm as he stares at you like he levels his students egos. But don't let his look fool you, especially since he picked up his fan...

... if you ask him why that bugs him, you'll be given an indignation answer based on one thing or another. But Shen Jiu had trusted you for so long, he'll step forward and pull at your top to drop it from your shoulders. Your nightly attire will be out of place (and if he's taken this slowly because he really can't believe he's in love) and he'll try to keep himself elegant as he just touches you. Chest, neck, face, waist, back.

Shen Jiu isn't the type to gropeーhe sees himself above such a gesture and he's no lecherous degenerateーbut his hands are very explorative. From young adulthood he's known that men weren't off the table as he trained on the mountain that would soon be his, but he's been able to suppress any feelings for the physique of attractive men by looking at their personalities. If the mind wasn't worth communing with, he didn't care about the body. You've heard about this taste of his after you asked why he could only handle you and Yue Qingyuan, but not Shang Qinghua or Liu Qingge.

Oh, and does he get explorative. It's nearly elegant how he runs his hands over your present muscles and even running his nails anywhere he found sensitive, but that was after maybe the slowest minutes of hesitation. You can tell it's a gesture for either of you to back out before he puts his hands in your clothes or around your neck, it's an out.

To be honest: if it isn't elegant, fully you, or doesn't have a thought behind it, he probably doesn't like it. If you're true to yourself and open about your wants, he'll be quite pleasant and accommodating of it. He likes a bit of symmetry in his bruises (the unavoidable ones only), and he doesn't care about ruining his clothes for anything. No cut sleeves unless it's symmetrical and not his classical robes, no blood on the hem if he can help it, and definitely no loose clothes because you got handsy.

That's right. Shen Jiu likes teasing you and his favorite is, "If you play with it, you put it back." You mess with his collar? Tighten it back up before you leave. You ruffle his robes? Straighten his wrinkles, you ruined where he had it flowing. Shen Jiu is 50/50 on returning the gesture unless it makes him look suspicious (like being alone with you knowingly, teasing you, and then going to have a meeting with someone else) or unless you also request he return the gesture.

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collegetennisoriginstory · 7 months

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OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:

1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT

2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.

3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.

4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3

5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)

6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.

7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)

8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333

ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.

author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.

<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D

Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.

1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!

3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)

4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰

5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)

6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.

7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!

8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗

#ct:os #college tennis: origin story #if #interactive fiction #asks #rayyan #tobin #g #sam

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atrial-ofhorror-if · 1 year

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Hey, y'all! It's that time of the month again~~ Time for a monthly update!!

I want to start this off with checking in on you guys. How's everyone doing? The year just started but it just feels like time is moving so fast already. I hope that this year will be much kinder to us all than it has been 🙏🏿🙏🏿 last year really tried to knock my dome top off, but I'm still here, so thats something. Let's all do our best, and kick or at least bruise the universes ass!

Clerical Updates

I have some changes that I'm planning for the Itch.io page, guys 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿First thing first, I want to change the game's title screen. I had initially made it in Canva with the aid of a friend from work, but as I continue to work through the game, I feel like there could be a much more fitting image. However, your girl isn't a graphic designer, so I want to commission someone to make a header or some shit.

Then I want to add a game starting page into the actual demo. I’ve looked at some examples from other IF writers who have made one, but I think my code is wrong (as it usually is), so I’m pacing back and forth trying to figure out exactly how and what I’m doing wrong. stay tuned for the shenanigans, cause I bet its something super simple 🙃🙃

I've been slowing down in writing. I typically write in my Google docs app on my phone, it's easier than opening my laptop, but the app has been having hella issues. I think it's because of the document size, so it's been significantly slowing down my writing time. I've been looking into alternative apps, so if anyone has recommendations, let me know.

Game Progress

I am officially at 60k+ words!!

To be well (Alex’s Route): 49%

Search and Destroy (Mark's Route): <1%

Interlude (Intermission): 4%

So far, I have three big scenes left to write in Alex’s route.

North Wing. Nuff said.

Convergent: not to be confused with divergence

Isekai? Isekai.

Once I've written those scenes out, the rest will be smooth sailing. I just have ends to tie up and scenes to flesh out before I can finally push it into editing. I might do some of the fleshing out during editing to make it easier on myself (and to give myself a break), but I am just trying to go with the flow.

Once I push the game into editing, I'll take a break before I start on Mark's route. I'm still dealing with fatigue from Miss Rona despite having the same progress I had before I got sick but it just feels... weird. Like your girl is trapped in a slumber or something and I can't get out, but now I'm being anecdotal.

Back onto topic.

I want to talk about Mark's route for a moment. Because it truly is the bane of my existence, and I'm DREADING having to write it. I have three possible ways of how I want to deal with it:

Write the damn thing out, and stop bitching. Not ideal

Don't write it and be great 😤😤😤 most ideal

Release Alex's route once done with editing and worry about Mark at a later date. also not ideal cause then I have to come back to it! 🥴🤧😭

So, the last option is something I'm looking at real disrespectfully. Partially because I'm probably going to have to rewrite some of the subplots because when I plotted the outline for the entire episode, I had a precise idea of what was to occur. But Alex's route completely shifted from what was supposed to be there into something that I don't even recognize. Which isn't a bad thing, just… an inconvenience 🥴🥴

Therefore a lot of things that were supposed to happen just didn't. Which, again, isn't a bad thing. It just means that I need to reign the plot in again. I could finesse a lot of the content to make it flow, BUT that will take me some time.

So, in short... I still don't know what I'm gonna do!! 😭😭 but I probably will end up writing Mark's route cause I don't want to end up shorting you guys on content just cause I'm feeling lazy.

This episode has a LOT of variety in it. Like, I'm not even bullshitting. I'm aiming to make it so that you guys can replay it as often as you desire and still find new things you would have missed. (To make up for the fact that episode 2 probably won't be released until next year if we're being honest 🥴🥴)

The interlude isn't even something I'm thinking about at the moment. Partially because I'm trying to push through Episode 1, get done with Alex's Route and start on Mark's. A portion of it will still be in the update, but I'm debating if its going to be even smaller than what I intended it to be. Possibly? But again, I'm not so much of a planner as much as I am a 'go with the flow'er.

I'm hoping to drop pieces of the interlude this year until it's whole, instead of just writing the entire thing, cause I swear I'm not doing this shit again, lol 🤣🤣. Either way, I will keep you guys updated if anything changes.

I think that's it? If you guys have any questions, you know what to do. And if you need anything, let me know! I'm semi-available (not really) on the weekdays so I'll try to answer any asks as quickly as I can. But either way, love y'all 🤎🤎

#a trial of horror #if wip #twine game #interactive fiction #twine #interactive game #atoh #if game #if wips #horror if #horror games #cyoa

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lunas-otome-blog · 6 months

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Luna's Review: Code: Realize ~Guardian of Rebirth~

Official Summary:

Venture into a reimagined steampunk version of 19th century London. Follow the adventures of the poison-skinned maiden Cardia, the men trying to help her, and the mysterious organization intent on capturing her.

Experience a visual novel adventure brimming with literary and historical characters including Victor Frankenstein and Abraham van Helsing. Will Cardia find love, or destroy those she cares for? Her story is in your hands.

(Spoiler-Free) Luna's Thoughts

This game was ok! It wasn't the trainwreck that was "even if Tempest," nor was its storyline as convoluted as "Cafe Enchante." I liked the historical figures and other fictional references, and the art was lovely.

A small thing that annoyed me is that they keep referring to Cardia's skin as "poisonous." I believe poison has to be ingested, so it would be more correct to say she is "acidic," but I guess that's not very charming to say lol. There are also a few plot points that seem a bit silly, and I didn't think the true end character necessarily deserved that role.

But overall, this was a solid game. The steampunk London setting was cool AF and I enjoyed the emphasis on airships and steam power. All the routes were pretty different, and though I would have liked to see more crossover between them, none of them felt extremely out of line like in some other games I've played.

I wasn't excited enough about it to bother with the ample supply of bonus content on offer, but I did like it and would consider playing it again in the future.

(SPOILERS) Common Route

Honestly, Cardia's backstory is the weakest part of the game as writers scramble to explain why she can't wear normal clothes or stay in one room for long. She can't eat with normal utensils, for example, but nobody is concerned that she might melt through her bed because her hair covers her back and her hair isn't poisonous for some reason. Some details were given a lot of thought and some are just explained away with "science" that happens off screen.

None of that is truly an issue, but I feel like it could have easily been more streamlined to say, for example, that Cardia can melt living things. That would still have the effect of making her isolated, alone, treated like a freak and unable to interact with humans. But it would do away with some of the more contrived details such as how she avoids melting into the ground.

The scene that should have been one of the most emotional — when Cardia tells the story of how she was trapped in a cave and accidentally killed her mother figure — ends up feeling frustrating, as you yell "just melt the rock!" at the screen the entire time. She does, but not until too late. "But she didn't know she created toxic air!" you say. Ok, but surely she didn't want to sit in the cave indefinitely? She could have just started work to melt the rock immediately. Maybe the result would have been the same, but at least it would seem more logical.

I thought the first choice to ignore Lupin's offer, which dead ends the game as Cardia sets out on her own adventure, was very funny. I also liked how she starts becoming more expressive as she spends time with her boys. My favorite part is how it shows her gaining skills and learning to fight and defend herself. That's refreshing compared to some other series where the protagonist is always being protected.

Below follows some thoughts on the actual routes, in the order I played them.

(SPOILERS) Impey Barbicane

What I thought was going to be my least favorite route ended up being my favorite. Impey is the flirt archetype, and also the genki character of the game. His route was the lightest, as he carries the least baggage of all the characters, but his sincere nature got to me.

Unfortunately, his flirtiness makes him annoying in other routes. Like, boy, I'm romancing someone else, back off!!

I do wish Impey being a vampire was more relevant to the game in general. I know that angsting over the fate of the vampires was more for Victor, Helsing and Delacroix II, but having Impey be a vampire was basically thrown in for shock value and didn't end up being super relevant.

I did think Nemo was an extremely fun villain and his design and speech pattern are so unique. He was a good foil for Impey, as they have similar reasons for becoming engineers, but he becomes the typical "mad scientist" here and takes everything a little too far.

I'd say Impey's route was the simplest of the five, but for that reason, I also thought it was the most solid, and the one that left me with the least questions.

(SPOILERS) Saint-Germaine

Call me nitpicky, but Saint-Germain is the character with the most baffling design choices IMHO. His hair is ridiculous. He only wears half of his coat the entire time. He has watches all over his arms that seem to do nothing. Truly some odd decisions were made during his creation.

Aside from Victor, I'd say his route was the most angsty as he rebels against his job and his nature to save Cardia. Unfortunately, this results in him being off screen for a lot of his route as he kills his way through the other members of Idea to save Cardia.

I thought the whole route felt a bit overkill-y. This is a man who essentially caused the Black Plague, who knows what one bad decision can do, and yet instead of choosing to stay by her side and defend her, he abandons her to preemptively fight the other Idea members, none of whom are given a sprite except Guinivere. (Side note: I adore Guinivere. Easily one of the most rad characters of the game.)

What's stopping any other of the Idea members from attacking Cardia while she's left defenseless? It falls apart under scrutiny. Perhaps this is because Saint-Germain's attraction to Cardia was the least convincing for me. I just didn't feel much of a connection there.

I do love how you basically only see his eyes on his route. It makes it all the more threatening when you do. And despite how critical I'm being, I did think the concept of the Apostles of Idea was pretty cool. I just thought it was a little far reaching for the framework of this particular game.

While one of the more interesting routes, I'd call Saint-Germain's route the least romantic.

(SPOILERS) Victor Frankenstein

Personality-wise, Victor is my favorite character. He's got baggage but desperately wants to reverse the damage he's done inadvertently. And he's so sweet and wears glasses! I did want to know what was up with his headphones but they're never addressed.

Victor's route is the one where you have to deal the most with Queen Victoria, and at least for me, this kind of ruined her character for me. You learn she was the instigation behind a lot of dark incidents and has an even darker one planned that basically equates to genocide. While in the true ending she fesses up and seems to have grown as a character, it was hard for me to get behind her again after seeing how needlessly cruel she was in Victor's route.

I absolutely adored the development of the Queen's relationship with Leonhardt in this route. Honestly I ship them more than most of the characters in this game with Cardia. Even if you want to interpret them as having a more father-daughter relationship, it's still really sweet. He clearly cares so much for her and just wants to guide her down the right path.

But back to Victor. I like that, despite being the gentle nerd of the game, he can still fight in his own way, and even teaches Cardia to do the same. It was nice to see him come out of his shell and become more confident as the game progresses.

Victor's route was solid and his relationship with Cardia is very believable. After all, he's done so much for her. He's the reason, in every route, that she can eat with the boys and wear different outfits. Cardia returns the favor by forgiving him for being involved in her creation. I did think the brief "is Victor my father" storyline was pretty funny. I mean, he kinda is though.

All in all, one of the better routes in my opinion.

(SPOILERS) Abraham Van Helsing

Man, I wanted to like this route more than I did.

Van Helsing is the closest thing to a tsundere in this game, so I thought I'd like him and saved him for last before the true end. Unfortunately, he's so cool and collected that he rarely breaks, and he comes across as cruel a lot of the time, even when it's revealed that he's doing so to keep Cardia out of it. She's kept at arms' length so much that I didn't feel the relationship developed naturally. She isn't present for a lot of the conversations, either, though we do get to see them off-screen.

Helsing's route is also the one that's least connected to the rest of the storyline. He's got a few tie-ins, most notably to the Vampire War, but his dealings with Aleister didn't relate to the overall mission. It felt a little disjointed to me.

I also thought we'd see more of Delacroix II in this route. I figured it would be Cardia helping the two of them become friends. Delacroix needed to learn that Helsing regretted his actions. But we honestly don't get a lot of that. I also figured it would be more angsty, with Helsing's death wish being relevant, but again, that didn't come up a lot.

I do find it extremely endearing that he can't cook to save his life. And I feel bad that his is the only route that ends without him being able to touch Cardia.

I don't think this was a bad route. It just wasn't what I was expecting so it made me a little disappointed.

(SPOILERS) Arsene Lupin

Lupin's route was ok. My gripes are mainly the same as with the true end of Collar x Malice: I don't think he's fitting for a true end character.

Not only is he visually the least interesting character, but his backstory is also not particularly interesting or impactful. A lot of stuff happens on his route just because it's the true end, and we have to wrap up the game. Lupin himself isn't particularly relevant to that.

He's a nice guy, sure. You can't help but like him and his positive attitude. I think his route is the one that most treats Cardia like a human, but this comes at the cost of not allowing her to do a lot. This could be seen as a positive, I suppose. She's spend most of the other routes convincing other characters that they should be forgiven, so it's fitting to have the final route involve forgiving Cardia herself for being created.

All in all, the game wraps up pretty well, and it felt like a suitable end for everyone. I just wish Lupin was a bit more interesting of a character.

(SPOILERS) Side Characters

Here, I'm going to comment on a few side characters in the game.

Finis

No notes. Flawless character design. My theory for why he looks like this is that the original Finis and Cardia were both female. Maybe this is explained in the bonus content, idk. I've heard his hair donuts are part of the headband and not his actual hair. Either way, adorable. More male characters like this, please.

Herlock Sholmes

Upset this character wasn't a datable option. Perhaps that's for the bonus content. Either way, I wanted to see more of him. I thought he'd be more relevant in Lupin's route, and you do get to learn a bit about him, but not enough IMHO.

Queen Victoria

Who approved this outfit? I just wanna talk... Seriously, this is the worst sprite in the game. I get that her whole thing is about bees and visually there are a lot of honeycomb references, but surely we could have a black and yellow outfit that doesn't make her look like she raided an antique store.

#otome game #otome review #review #code realize #code realize review #guardians of rebirth

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Creativity in ESFJ and ENFP (2w1 216 tritype)

Hi, love your blog - I am reading it for months - it's so interesting. I love how you explain complicated things. I'm not an English native, so it's a big plus for me. I'm interested in MBTI and Enneagram for years and I still don't know whether I am ESFJ or ENFP. Persistent depression with anxiety doesn't help. [...] I know I have Si and Ne, but I don't know whether I am FeSiNeTi or NeFiTeSi. [...] I am pretty sure that I don't have Te, but using cognitive behavioral therapy I stopped living all day with my feelings and started to act.

This sounds more ESFJ to me already, since an ENFP can step away from their feelings to be more objective and you don't relate to Te. Te is what I call "duh logic." The obvious kind where the solution is bluntly obvious to the person using it. Have you seen that hilarious dude on TikTok who mocks people who create 'hacks' that are ten times more difficult than the OBVIOUS solution right in front of them? This guy. That is what Te is. The "DUH, just use a can opener" function. The "the damn solution is obvious" function. Regardless of its placement in the stack, it always shows up as ".... why do you complicate stuff unnecessarily when the solution is obvious?"

Being totally lost in your feelings all the time is also very feeling-dominant, more so than an ENFP who is lost in their fantasies all the time (their idealism, their forward thinking, their living in their mind in terms of seeing how things might play out and being invested in that fantasy, but then abandoning it and moving on to some other idea). ENFPs can even struggle to locate their feelings sometimes.

I have two sides in me - one wants to be a writer and be the best. The other want to live in a peaceful place with my fiancée, have a dog, make a living as a content writer (which I am for 5 years and love it, but I wish I have more energy and earn more). I know the second side is better, healthier and more realistic and I am taking that route, but it's hard to not think about the first one. I'm 31.

If you are taking the more realistic second route, it might indicate ESFJ since they are more aware of practicality and being "normal" than ENFPs, who tend to live less conventional lifestyles.

Could you tell me how creativity looks in ESFJ and ENFP if they are self-pres 2w1 216 tritype?

ENFPs who are creative prioritize that as their highest goal, since they see the world in terms of sharing ideas and dialogue; they want to provoke change in the world, inspire people, and reach them through what they write, and many of them assume that they are going to get rich and famous doing this, but they have no idea about traditional publishing models and no patience for the "slow path." They just want to get their stuff out there. An ENFP 2 is going to be people/love/service oriented, but still feel a strong need and desire to follow their Fi need to be creative.

ESFJs on the other hand struggle a lot to let go of their sense of obligation to others and their feelings and to carve out time to be creative when it interferes with their connection to loved ones. It's fairly normal for ESFJ writers to love writing, but to find that "life" takes over for them, and so they don't do it for long periods of time while taking care of their kids / responsibilities, and then once that's all done, they can ease back into it. They are so bound to the needs and desires of others, it's difficult for them to justify carving out alone time to work on a novel.

I talk about how each type writes fiction (the thought process that it involves) in my book, so maybe you would find that insightful. :) It's called 16 Kinds of Crazy and you can find out more information about it on funkymbti.com.

#question #mbti #enfp x esfj

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lovecolibri · 2 years

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SaL anon here bestie and even though it will be awhile before you or I get to tonight's episode I figure it's never to early to start lowering our expectations!! So here are my predictions on all the ways it will disappoint. First, we will get Rosa back at last, but it will happen at the very end and supposedly be uplifting but really the writers are just setting up her being Liz's support system next episode. Next, we will have the obligatory trying-to-make-Maria-relevant content forced on us

as she for some reason she tries to connect to her Mom's spirit, a power she never had before but we're supposed to feel bad for her anyway (if they in any way try to make this some BS about her getting messages about Alex I will set fire to the writers). Next, Kybel will backtrack to being uncertain because why have them talk about feelings when we can have a stressful future problem bring them together instead?? Finally Max and Liz will have some sort of conflict either about Bonnie wanting help after poisoning Michael or Max finds out about Alex from Bonnie but doesn't tell want to tell Michael and fights with Liz about it (and she still doesn't say anything). Either way, as much as I hope I'm wrong, Alex will still NOT be missed by anyone including his sick bf, but will be mentioned exactly once in some other context, because the writers think this constitutes being emotionally relevant to the characters. Please add more if I haven't gone low enough!!

Well, this all sounds pretty spot on to me! 🙄 I am dyyyying for someone to even MENTION Rosa so It’ll be a miracle if she actually shows up a second before she’s needed to give Liz some “tough love” that Liz will selectively listen to before doing exactly as she wants like always. Apparently the writers think Liz and Max never learning and growing from their mistakes is...interesting? Who knows. 🙄 You know what would be interesting? Max and Liz being allowed to be each other’s support system for once instead of always lying to each other and ending up on opposite sides of every fight. How am I supposed to want to root for them? Because I would like to! But the writers just keep yanking them back into this cyclical argument every time and I’m tiiiired.

I could not care less about anything going on with m*ria and I’m just hoping Dallas stops having to be in the middle of it, and he’s allowed to go be there for Michael. I’m also confused about Liz brining up m*ria seeing her mom in “visions” and now the synopsis mentioning m*ria trying to “connect” with Mimi because that’s...not anything we’ve seen her do so why would she even be trying when she knows her powers aren’t working? I’m still just stuck on why Mimi needed to die for m*ria to still not be able to get info from her when she’s been barely lucid the whole show and they could have just one that route! But apparently killing Mimi off is supposed to make m*ria sympathetic or something? It for sure does not. Just please keep her TF away from Alex and Michael forever now.

I also think Kybel are going to be awkward but given the synopsis about Isobel finding out Tezca might not be the evil Isobel thinks she is, who wants to bet Kyle ends up quicksanded with Alex for a bit? That way the show can continue to make Alex’s disappearance and rescue about anything other than ALEX. I’m sure we’re going to just keep seeing more of Bonnie, Clyde, Tezca and multiple other guest stars so when would the show have to time to allow Alex to be missed or mentioned or anyone to be worried about him when we need to learn the full history and backstory of these “guest stars” who might as well be main characters at this point considering they’ve had twice the number of episodes as Alex 🙃🙃🙃

Hopefully keeping my expectations in the earth’s core will allow me to be pleasantly surprised by something in this episode but I’m not gonna hold my breath. Shout out to everyone waiting until Alex comes back to catch up on the show, hopefully he comes back before the finale. But hey, if he does pop up, someone let me know! Just a yes or know is fine, I don’t need spoilers, but I’ll make sure to watch as soon as I can if it means I get to see my boy Alex! Same with Rosa. See you all on the other side!

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #roswell nm #roswell spoilers #roswell nm my behated #anti maria deluca #where is alex and why does no one care?!#If michael is sick and possibly dying and NO ONE mentions it's weird alex isn't picking up #i'm going to riot

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queenofthursday6599-blog · 25 days

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If you want to get into fanfiction you just have to accept that flanderization and popular fan interpretations of characters are something you're going to have to wade through even if you don't like them

I can understand the frustration of some people who get really into something (movie, book, show), and thus try and dive into fandom but then find that a considerable portion of fic has the characters being wildly out of character.

Especially if they find that an extremely popular fanon interpretation of a character, majorly conflicts with how said character is in canon.

For an easy example that's on my mind because it's the 20th anniversary of Danny Phantom, and also dannypocalypse.

Danny Fenton has a number of extremely flanderized fanon interpretations, which all conflict with who he is in canon, and the other fanon versions of him floating around.

A lot of fics will have Danny actually be just as much of a science/math genius as the rest of the Fenton family, and his bad grades are actually entirely due to the fact that he's too busy being Phantom to do anything related to school.

This directly contradicts with the show, which has more than one instance of Danny being so bad at math specifically, that it's completely valid to think he literally has dyscalculia.

Along with there literally being no evidence that Danny has any interest in math or any of the sciences beyond his desire to be an astronaut.

[Which when I learned the requirements for becoming an astronaut, I always thought Danny would be going the 1,000+ hours of pilot-in-command time on a jet aircraft route vs the degrees in a STEM field route. Considering how many hours he apparently put into the shuttle flight simulator already.]

A lot of fics will have Danny be a feral little gremlin kind of character, who does things like bites people, doesn't care how dirty he or his surroundings are, and will eat spoiled food.

Completely unlike Danny in the show. Who in spite of his weird smoothie experiments, refuses weird looking but completely edible food offered to him on more than one occasion. Along with his habit of vacuuming the walls when he cleans.

Then there's the whole Danny as the ghost king characterization, which has no basis in canon. Considering there isn't anything in canon that says the title is won by right of conquest, because we aren't given any information about how Pariah himself became the ghost king, or even if there were ghost kings before him.

Then there's the interpretation of Danny being too noble to use his powers for selfish gain, or commit crimes.

Even though in canon he uses his powers to prank Dash multiple times in the series with no repercussions for most of what he does. Along with being 100% willing to use his powers to cheat the haunted house contest, and also just straight up steal an ancient ghost artifact to make said haunted house scarier.

The thing about fanfiction is that characters are going to be different from what they're like in canon be default for a variety of reasons.

The author is changing the character to suit the story they wanna tell, the author is magnifying a canon trait of a character to explore it more, the author is inverting a character trait to see how that would change the rest of the character's story-

And 80 billion other variations of that idea.

Like I'm sorry if you turned to a bunch of hobbyist writers on the internet who write primarily for their own indulgence in search of more canon quality content, but you're not going to find it in 99.999999999999999% of fics you will ever find.

Sure you might find one specific fic or one specific writer, who you feels absolutely nails how a character acts in canon.

But also, not really, because your own perspective of how that character is supposed to act is tainted by your own opinions about that character.

Or for another example, if you go to the Miraculous fandom...

There's people who genuinely see Marinette as a kind of deranged stalker, and hate her to the point of wanting Adrien to end up with literally any other girl. Including the ones who want to use him for their own gain, like Lila, who doesn't even really like him romantically.

Because they hate Marinette, and want Marinette to suffer losing out to the girl she thinks is a bad person. More than they want Adrien to end up in a happy and functional relationship with a girl who would treat him well.

[Literally, I've seen Marinette haters insist Adrien needed to end up with either Lila or Chloe specifically, because Marinette approves of Kagami and willingly handed Adrien over to her. They want whoever Marinette likes the least to be who Adrien ends up with, even if he wouldn't be treated well by whoever that is.]

And there's people who genuinely see Marinette as the constant victim of unjustified cosmic karma, who would have solved the Hawkmoth thing and won over Adrien ages ago if it weren't for plot contrivances insisted upon by the writers. Who insist upon doing this to keep from solving the love square, to keep the will they/won't they plot going, which is one of the main focuses of the show.

#fanfiction #flanderization of characters #fanon interpretation #meta analysis of fanfiction

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fics-n-stuff · 3 years

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Home - Pt 2

For @glowstick-lesbian, request here

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Summary: After Y/N finally gets out hiding, it's time to sit down with Kaz and talk through whatever it is that's going on between them.

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Brief talk of Jordie and Kaz's trauma and touch aversion

A/N: Wow this ended up being longer than I intended! I'm so sorry it's taken so long, I was focused on The Bastard's Shadow and Affluenza pts1 + 2, and then I started picking up more shifts at work and got writers block at the same time. I really hope you like how it turned out!! ❤❤

Pt1 here

After the very enlightening visit from Kaz, the days seemed to drag on even slower than before. The next two months went by in a crawl, and no matter how much you buried yourself in work you couldn’t distract from the longing you felt to get out of your apartment.

When your messenger came to deliver the news that your pursuers were willing to come to a truce you had been so happy that you’d gone straight to pour yourself a glass of whisky to celebrate. From then, you counted down the days until the meeting that you set up, the result of which should mean that you were free to roam the city again.

Inej had shown you how to get out of the window and onto the roof months ago. It was your escape route in case of an emergency, but you had used it every now and then just to sit on the roof and enjoy a taste of the outside world. That night, you had climbed out with intention and dressed in your finest coat.

You travelled over the rooftops towards the Government district, where your meeting had been arranged to take place near the Stadhall. The presence of the stadwatch would serve to protect you in case the deal went south.

You had been jittery with a mix of anxiety and excitement when you descended to street level and wended your way through the streets to find three men waiting for you at the Stadhall, all of them tall, broad and commanding. Barrel businessmen that you had crossed one too many times, and no doubt they had been angered that forcing you into hiding hadn’t put a stop to your business.

You were too smart to have not found a way around it; you had to be to run the business that you did. You owned three boarding houses and two bars in the Barrel and two ships that brought in imports from Ravka and Novyi Zem, a squaller as a permanent fixture on the crew of each to whom you paid a fair salary. You’d had Kaz put them under the protection of the Dregs to keep them safe from slavers. On top of all of that, you used your contacts in Ravka, Novyi Zem and other parts of Kerch to help get kids out of the Barrel and into honest work elsewhere. You might operate from the criminal underbelly of Ketterdam, but you made a mostly honest living.

The meeting took longer than you had anticipated. The three men were eager to negotiate territories that you couldn’t conduct business in and items that they didn’t want you to import because it was cutting into their own business. You held firm, you knew what was fair and you would be damned if you let anyone bully you into submission.

In the end, you essentially just agreed not to get in their way, which was easy enough to do. You wouldn’t actively compete with them in the sale of imported goods, and you wouldn’t try to convince any of the lads that they used as runners and grunts to get out of the Barrel. As long as you kept your distance from them you’d be fine, since they were clearly tired of chasing after you.

“Alright then, the deal is the deal.” You said, holding out your hand. All three shook hands with you in turn, echoing the phrase as was customary. When the man in the middle – clearly the leader and the last to shake with you – took your hand, you tightened your grip and leaned forward. “If you try to cheat me after this deal, you will have Dirtyhands to answer to.” You said lowly. He tried not to show his reaction but the fear in his eyes betrayed him, and you released his hand. It wasn’t often that you involved Kaz and his reputation in your affairs, but sometimes it paid to be friends with the most ruthless man in Ketterdam.

You left the meeting with your head held high and took a gondel back to the Barrel. You were approached by a few people who stayed in one of your boarding houses or drank in one of your bars on your walk to the Crow Club, telling you that they had been curious or worried about having not seen you around for so long. You didn’t engage in any conversation beyond polite acknowledgment, too eager to get to the Crow Club.

Inej was the only one that knew that you were getting out tonight. You had told her when she had come to deliver your food for the week and she had promised to try and keep everyone corralled at the Crow Club so that you could make a big entrance, but the later it got the less likely it was that she could keep them all there without raising suspicion.

You practically ran down the last street towards the Crow Club, bursting through the open door and searching the crowd for your friends. Jesper caught sight of you at the same moment that you spotted them all at the bar, and you saw his jaw drop in shock. A huge grin spread on your face as he set his drink down, his sudden change in demeanor getting the attention of the rest of the group and causing them to turn to follow his gaze.

“Y/N?” Jesper called, prompting you into as much of a sprint as you could manage across the crowded floor of the gambling hall. You vaulted yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his lanky frame. “You’re back! How?” He exclaimed, and you laughed as you felt him hug you back and sweep you off of your feet.

“I had a meeting to call a truce. As of tonight I am a free person!”

“We missed you so much!” Nina grinned, prying Jesper’s arms off of you so that she could pull into a hug herself. “Why didn’t you tell us that you were finally coming out of hiding?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You grinned, pulling away so that you could move to hug Wylan next. “I missed you guys so much too, you have no idea.” You caught sight of Kaz over Wylan’s shoulder, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. You pointed your smile at him and his lips twitched upwards before he cooled his expression and gave you a simple nod.

Your reunion was spirited to say the least, even Matthias couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were back. You made them tell you about all of the most significant things that you had missed in the year that you had been trapped inside and update you on any power shifts between the Barrel gangs. Jesper wouldn’t shut up, Wylan was excited to tell you about all of the new explosives and weapons that he had developed, and Nina was making a list of places that she wanted to get lunch together to make up for lost time. It felt amazing to be with them all again.

“Okay! I want to play a few hands of Three Man Bramble before I go.” You announced, pushing your glass away from you after downing the last of its contents.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Jesper grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulder and guiding you to a table.

It seemed apt that fortune seemed to be in your favour, winning so consistently that you continued to play even though you knew that you shouldn’t. It felt like every time that you looked up from the table you caught Kaz watching you, and his unashamed gaze made your heart flutter.

After a while you saw him give a slight nod towards the door, an action that meant that it was time to go, and you tucked you lip between you teeth as you gave a subtle nod back and turned your attention back to your cards.

“Unbelievable!” Jesper exclaimed upon seeing that you had won again. “I guess you’re catching up on a year’s worth of luck.”

“Perhaps, but I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.” You smiled, gathering up your winnings. “I need to go and breathe some more fresh air.” You pocketed half of your winnings and pushed the other half around the table to Jesper. “Not too much fun.”

“There’s no such thing as too much fun.” He beamed and pulled you to him so that he could plant a kiss on your cheek. “Good to have you back, Y/N.”

“Good to be back, Jes.” You winked before bounding back to the bar to say goodbye to the rest of your friends. Kaz had already disappeared, no doubt in an attempt to avoid drawing attention to the fact that you were leaving together.

“We’re going to get waffles tomorrow. I will break your door down if I have to.” Nina asserted, practically crushing your ribs in a hug. “Inej, you’re coming too.”

“What about me?” Wylan pouted, and you laughed.

“Everyone’s invited.” You replied, holding his face and turning it towards you so that you could press a soft kiss on his forehead before pulling him in for a hug. “I just got out, I want to spend time with you all!”

You kept your hug with Inej pretty short, considerate of the bad feelings that too much contact could stir up in her, and even managed to coax a hug from Matthias before you headed out. Kaz was waiting not far from the entrance and you smiled as you quickly made your way towards him

“Hey.” You chirped.

“You wanted it to be a surprise, huh?” He questioned, starting towards the Slat. You chuckled.

“I know you’re not a big fan of surprises, Kaz, but I thought this might be a fun one. Why? Were you offended that I told Inej and not you?”

“Did you have anyone go with you to your meeting?”

“No, I didn’t need any backup.”

“Things could have gone badly, and you didn’t tell anyone about it.”

“Well things didn’t go badly.” You rebutted. “I’m here, I’m fine, and I surprised you all.”

“You shouldn’t put yourself in danger like that.” Kaz said flatly, ignoring your point, and you groaned loudly at his stubbornness.

“If it makes you feel better, I made sure to drop your name in to intimidate them. But I can handle my own business.”

You hopped along the cobblestones playfully, irrationally happy to be back out on the filthy and foul smelling streets of the Barrel, but even the stink couldn’t dampen your joy at finally being free. You were sure that you and Kaz probably looked like a bizarre pair walking together now, him with his stoic exterior and identifying limp next to your childlike joy, though you had taken after him fashion wise with your smart attire and well-fitted, black coat.

Walking back to the Slat with Kaz took you in the opposite direction to your home – now that you were out of hiding you could finally return to where you actually lived in a house on the boundary of East Stave and the Zelver District – but you wanted to talk to Kaz, and he wouldn’t have asked you to leave with him if he didn’t want to talk to you too. Nevertheless, you continued the rest of the walk in silence.

When you got to the Slat, Kaz continued straight up to his room while you lingered on the ground floor to say hello to some of the Dregs that you were more friendly with. The noise of the Slat was unfamiliar to you after so long, but you had kind of missed the rowdiness of it.

You followed upstairs shortly after. Kaz had left his door ajar for you and you could see him sat at his desk through the opening.

“Shut the door behind you.” He said as you slipped inside, and you heard the door click as you push it shut after yourself.

“You wanna talk to me?” You questioned, walking over to lean on the side of the desk casually. “Or did you just want some time to look at my gorgeous face?” He did look up at you then, his eyes darting around to take in the entirety of your face, and you felt your heart flutter.

“How did your meeting go? What deals did you make?” He asked. You sighed. It wasn’t new that Kaz was asking about your business, he liked to know about what you were doing the same way that he liked to know about literally everything else, but you had hoped that this conversation would be a little less mundane than that. You had hoped that he might express an iota of joy that you were back.

“I can’t dock my ships in 3rd Harbour anymore.” You shrugged. “So I’ll stick to 2nd for imports going into the morning market, mostly 5th for everything else. There’s a few streets that I need to keep my business off of, and obviously I can’t try and undermine their operations anymore. That doesn’t mean that I won’t, it just means that I’ll be smarter about not getting caught.”

“And what do you get from them?”

“They leave me alone. I don’t need more than that. I mean, their terms are hardly going to impede my business anyway.”

“And your insurance?”

“You.” You smiled sweetly. “Very few people are bold enough to cross someone that has Kaz Brekker on side.”

“I thought you prided yourself on running an honest business.”

“I do. My association with you doesn’t make my business any less legit. I’m more honest than most of the Merchant Council anyway.”

“That’s fair.” He conceded with a slight nod.

Kaz had visited you a few times since the night that you had both let on about how much you cared about each other, but you hadn’t talked about it. It felt like the tension between you had been building and building like an elastic band ready to snap. It was driving you crazy.

“Anything else that you want to talk about?” You hinted. Kaz let out a long breath, his eyes sliding away from you for a moment. You could tell that he wanted to talk about it but he was struggling to get it out. “Because you haven’t told me that you’re glad I’m back yet.”

“I am glad that you’re back.” He affirmed, then he took a hard swallow. “We all missed you.” You smiled brightly at that.

You could hear the crows moving around on the half-roof outside of Kaz’s window and crossed the room to perch on the windowsill. There hadn’t been anywhere for the birds to land in the apartment that you had been cooped up in.

“Can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to be alone again just yet.” You said softly, tucking one knee up against your chest as you watched the birds through the glass.

“Sure.” Kaz answered.

You sat in silence for a while after that, which wasn’t unusual for you two. Before you had gone into hiding, you had spent many evenings with Kaz in his office just like this. Tonight felt different though. Something had opened between the two of you and now you couldn’t close it. The feeling permeated every corner of the room until you felt like you might explode if you didn’t break this silence, but, to your surprise, Kaz spoke first.

“I’ve been thinking about that day that I saw you outside the Crow Club.”

“Why?” You asked, blinking in surprise. Kaz was still facing forward at his desk, back turned to you, but his pen had stilled over the page.

“I watched you for a while, deciding whether to chase you off or recruit you for the Dregs.” He continued, ignoring your question. You were used to that too. “You were good at pickpocketing – you could spot a good mark, distracted them by pretending to beg for pennies – but you stayed in one place for too long.”

“I know, you told me at the time.” You smiled amusedly.

“I was just planning on telling you exactly that, but after I got your attention and you looked at me I knew that I had seen you before. It was in your eyes.” He turned around to look at you then, his gaze finding yours immediately. “Your eyes never changed.”

Kaz’s eyes had. Maybe that was why you hadn’t recognised him. Kaz Rietveld had eyes full of wonder and warmth, that were curious about everything and shone when he was happy. Kaz Brekker's eyes were cold, they held secrets. The curiosity had become analytical, and the shine had turned into a devious glint. Kaz Rietveld didn’t exist anymore, the R tattoo on Kaz’s bicep was the only relic of him, and you were the only one left to remember him.

“Crows remember the faces of those that are kind.” He finished softly.

“And that’s why you took me in? Because I was kind?”

“Because we were friends. We are friends.”

“Just friends?” You murmured, a challenge in your eyes. It wasn’t a provoking challenge, more of an encouraging one. You wanted to know where he stood and you wanted him to be able to tell you. He was silent for a long stretch.

“Would we ever be able to be more?” He asked. You knew what he meant. Kaz had built up so many walls that he didn’t know how to let down, and he knew that about himself. It was how he had survived, but it was a way of being that wasn’t very conducive to relationships. He didn’t think that he could do it.

“That depends on you.” You answered with a soft smile. “Because I’m not looking anywhere else.” Kaz swallowed and looked away quickly, but you swore that you had seen a hint of a blush in his cheeks.

A knock came at the door, and you cursed whoever was on the other side in your head.

“What is it?” Kaz called.

“There’s a man downstairs says he has a job for you.” Specht’s voice came through the wood. “Won’t talk to no one else but you.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Kaz replied, then muttered something under his breath bitterly. You heard the creak of Specht's retreating footsteps and Kaz turned to you. “Will you wait until I get back?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You watched Kaz leave the room and let out a long sigh once the door had closed behind him. You were finally talking about whatever it was that was between the two of you and you just had to get interrupted.

You shed your coat, dropping it lazily on the floor next to you, and rolled up your shirt sleeves. Despite the pressure put on you from some members of the Dregs, you had never gotten the crow and cup tattoo on your forearm. You had known from the start that you didn’t want to belong to the gang, no matter how thankful you were for the help that Kaz had given you.

When you had realised who it really was that had approached you that night outside the Crow Club, you had been shocked. He knew your name when he spoke to you, though he had seemed unsure of it, and you had furrowed your brow and asked if you knew him.

“It’s Kaz.” He had said, and you had blinked.

“Kaz Rietveld?” You had whispered in disbelief. His jaw had clenched, his shoulders stiffened.

“That’s not my name anymore.” He snapped. “It’s Kaz Brekker now.”

When you asked him why he had changed his name he had simply told you that it was easier that way. When you asked him about why he was in Ketterdam he had answered that his father had died and they had sold the farm. When you asked about Jodie he didn’t answer.

He had walked you to the Slat, told you not to talk to anyone, and brought you up to this very room. You had trusted him enough to follow. Despite his proud presence in the Barrel, despite the fact that he was walking you into the den of a gang, despite the fact that he was almost unrecognisable from the Kaz that you knew as a child, you had trusted him. And in the years that followed, he had never broken that trust.

He had helped you pay for the first boarding house that you purchased, come with you to the bank when you took out the loan to buy your first ship, had come to the harbour to see you off the first time that you had gone to Ravka.

Kaz had once reminded you of something from your childhood while around the other Crows, and once it had slipped that you and Kaz had been friends when you were young, people were constantly asking you about what he had been like. He never told anybody anything about himself and people had been eager to find a source of information on him, but most people had quickly come to realise that you weren’t going to say anything either. Kaz had never thanked you for your discretion, but you knew that he was glad for it.

If you were honest with yourself, you had found yourself drawn to him ever since you got your first glimpse through his cold and uncaring exterior and saw his loyal and protective nature. The pull had only grown since.

Your thoughts were broken by the sound of the door opening, and you looked over to watch Kaz enter. The door clicked shut behind him and he moved to the wash basin directly across the room from the window that you were sat in, set down his cane and pulled off his gloves .

“A good job?” You asked. He shrugged.

“A job that I’ll do.” He answered and began unbuttoning his shirt. You tried not ogle as he pulled it off and picked up the washcloth from the basin, but you caught sight of a reddened stripe of raised skin across his side and furrowed your brows.

“When did that happen?”

“A few days ago.”

“How deep did it go?”

“Not too deep.”

“It doesn’t look like you stitched it up properly.”

“It’s fine.” He dismissed. You rolled your eyes and got up from the window ledge. Kaz never took proper care of himself but he was always too stubborn to admit it.

“Let me see.”

“I said it’s fine, Y/N-"

“Kaz.” You interrupted sternly, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “I said let me see.” He held your gaze for a moment before letting out a huff and raising his arm so that you could get a better view of the wound.

You kept your distance as you looked over the injury, but you could clearly see that the stitches were sloppy on the end of the gash towards his back; the side that he couldn’t reach easily himself.

“You’re keeping it clean?”

“I know how to treat a wound.” He grumbled.

“I know that you know how, that doesn’t mean that I actually trust you to do it. You didn’t even have it bandaged or anything, what if it gets infected?”

“It won’t, Y/N, stop worrying so much.”

“Well, if you’re not going to worry about yourself then somebody else has to.” You exasperated. “At least bandage it.” You didn’t wait for a reply before you crossed over to the cabinet where he kept his impressive stock of medical supplies and grabbed a roll of gauze. Kaz caught it grudgingly when you tossed it to him and set it to the side while he finished washing his torso.

“You worry too much.” He muttered.

“It’s good for you.” You smiled.

You watched him as he unrolled the gauze and wrapped it around his body, carefully laying it over the wound with pale fingers that you rarely saw. He was precise, but he couldn’t see his back and the bandage twisted as he moved it between his hands.

“It’s folded.” You told him softly, taking half a step towards him. “I can fix it... if you want.” There was a beat of silence before Kaz nodded slightly.

You moved towards him slowly and reached for him even slower, your eyes constantly flicking back to the mirror to gauge the reaction on Kaz’s face. Your fingertips barely brushed over his back as you unfolded the downturned piece of bandage and you immediately stepped away when you were done. It took no more than a few seconds, but you could hear Kaz’s short breaths and when you looked at him in the mirror you could see that he had paled.

You picked up the clean shirt that was laid on his bed and held it out to him at full arms length. His hand shook as he took it from you. He pulled it on quickly, making short work of the buttons, and pulled his gloves back on hastily.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, though you weren’t exactly sure what you were apologising for.

“It’s because of Jordie.” Kaz’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, his eyes trained on his shoes. “Why I can’t touch anyone. It’s because when he died...”

“You don’t have to tell me, Kaz.” You said softly when he trailed off. He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds.

“When Jordie died, I was sick too. It was the Queen's Lady plague. One night, I fell asleep in an alley and woke up on the Reaper's Barge.” He swallowed thickly, wringing his hands together thoughtlessly, and you could see sweat forming on his brow. “When my fever broke, I had to swim back to the harbour, and Jordie... whenever someone touches me, all I can feel is those corpses.”

Silence hung between you as you tried to find the words to respond. It was a lot of information to take in, but suddenly things made sense. Now you understood why Kaz had become the way that he was; why he was prone to shutting people out, why the light behind his eyes had dimmed.

“Kaz, I... I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” He muttered. “I have work to do. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.” He crossed the room to sit down at his desk, his movements tense. You watched him for a minute, unsure of what to do. It felt wrong to leave him alone right now, but you didn’t know if he would want you to stay.

“I’m sailing to Novyi Zem next week.” You said. It was the first topic that you could think of. “I’d really appreciate it if you could look over the rent ledgers while I’m gone.”

“Sure.” He replied flatly. Silence again.

“Will you come with us all to get waffles tomorrow?”

“I have work to do, and Nina didn’t invite me anyway.”

“Yeah, well, the celebration is for me and I’d really like for you to be there.” You smiled slightly. “She probably didn’t invite you because she knew you’d say no.”

“Smart of her.” Kaz responded, and you let out a frustrated huff.

“Don’t do that, Kaz. Don’t shut me out.” You complained. He didn’t answer at all. You folded your arms over your chest and went to stand beside his chair. “I don’t care that you can’t touch people, it doesn’t bother me. You went through trauma and that’s not your fault. What is bothering me is that you’re choosing to stay closed off to everyone. You can’t keep your walls up forever, you’ll kill yourself trying.”

“I can’t handle it, Y/N.” He snapped, his voice low. The gravel in his voice might have intimidated you into backing off if you weren’t so adamant on getting through to him.

“You’ll never be able to handle it if you don’t start trying.” You insisted. “Maybe if you’d just admit to yourself that you care about people it wouldn’t be so hard to see that we care about you too.”

Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tightly, and released a long breath. You watched him, waiting for a response, not backing down. After a moment of silence, he glanced up at you.

“I can’t need anyone.” He said slowly. “Not after Jordie. I can’t let myself need anyone else.”

“You don’t have to need me, Kaz. You just have to want me.” You replied softly. His head snapped towards you and you actually saw his pupils dilate for the few seconds that he held your gaze before quickly turning away again. You hadn’t meant it like that, but you weren’t upset that he’d heard it that way.

“I don’t deserve you.” He muttered. You leaned against his desk, a sympathetic smile on your face even though he wasn’t looking at you.

“I’ve been around this long, I’m not going anywhere.” You promised. “There’s more to love about you than you think.”

Kaz tapped on his desk with a finger, a nervous action that he would usually suppress. Then, he took a sharp inhale and turned back to you.

“Okay.” He breathed. “I can try.” You bit down on your tongue in an attempt to suppress your grin, but you couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across your face.

“That’s all I ask.” You lilted. You stood up straight, pushing off of the desk and starting across the room to the window. You rolled your shirt sleeves down and snatched your coat up from the floor. “I’m going to head home. I expect to see you at my door promptly at eleven bells tomorrow morning, ready to get waffles.”

“Alright.” He nodded, breathing a single light laugh.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Here, Y/N, these are for you.” He said quickly, picking up and couple of envelopes from his desk and holding them up for you. “You’ll have to make sure to notify your business partners of your change in mailing address.” You chuckled, going to take the letters from him, and he gave a small smirk as he handed them over.

“Thank you.” You smiled, before turning and heading to the door. “Eleven bells, Brekker. I know you’re a punctual man.”

“I’ll be there.” He affirmed. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Kaz.” You echoed softly before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you, a fond smile on your lips.

#six of crows #six of crows fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom

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chacusha · 2 years

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ST: Discovery season 4

So yeah, I finished watching Disco season 4 and wow. I had so much difficulty making it through it at all, which is an experience I can't say I've ever had with any other season of Star Trek. So yeah, here is my Discovery season 4 rant. (Did I push through all my overdue TNG rewatch posts just so I could rant about the writing sins of Discovery while they were still relatively fresh in my mind? Yes. Yes, I did.) Lots of Star Trek: Discovery season 4 negativity:

God, where do I start?

Let me start with the positive: I appreciate the diverse and very LGBT cast of Discovery. I like the hope and optimism and No Villains ethos of the show. I like how different each season of Discovery has been and how they aren't afraid to completely alter the status quo of the show each season. The first half of season 4 wasn't great but it had some interesting plots and development of the characters. The second half was 😬 but at least its B-plot with Book and Tarka had some interesting stuff going on both in terms of plot and character interaction and backstory.

Another positive: I could tell that this season was trying to flesh out the bridge crew, which was a pretty glaring issue in previous seasons and this is definitely a step in the right direction. HOWEVER, they went about doing this in the clunkiest way possible. You had characters basically turning to camera and saying, "Hey, this situation reminds me of [my token hobby] which I totally 100% have, but have never mentioned up until this point! Look at that! I have one (1) trait!" First of all, having a hobby is not a personality trait/does not count as fleshing out a character. But more to the point, this is, like, the least effective and least efficient way imaginable to establish character traits/give characters dimension. I don't understand why they don't simply go with the tried-and-true route of giving each character their own episode. I'm not talking about a plotline where the fact that a character likes surfing or whatever turns out to be important for solving a science problem -- I'm talking about when you have a plot that only happens because of quirks specific to a character. You throw a character (or two characters) in a situation that stresses them and you show how they respond, and how their weaknesses and the solutions they come up with are unique to that character. This is an easy way to establish characterization. This is writing 101. Instead, all of the bridge members seem even more empty after this attempt at fleshing them out. It's like there's nothing there to explore.

The second cardinal sin committed by Discovery season 4 is that it's just boring. There clearly isn't enough story to fill all the episodes allotted. They really could use some wacky episodic hijinks where two characters go on a Character Establishing Adventure together because there isn't enough content otherwise. I kind of wonder if part of season 4's issues is due to being produced under COVID lockdown? Because season 2 of The Witcher, which was also produced under a similar timeframe, was also markedly bad, and there, too, there just wasn't enough story to fill all the time they had, in ways very similar to Disco S4. In any case, whatever the circumstances that might have led to the bad writing, I feel like the Disco writers need to go back to basics: if you cannot write a solidly entertaining 40-minute piece of television, there is no way in hell you are pulling off a remotely satisfying 13-hour piece of television. I think the writers really need to master the basics before trying something more ambitious.

Another thing exacerbating the "lazy fleshing out of supporting cast characters" issue above and something that I think really weakened season 4 in particular is that Discovery keeps on either (a) having characters complete their character journeys and turn into emotionally mature wise people rather than flawed characters needing to find strategies to compensate for their weaknesses, and/or (b) writing their fleshed-out supporting cast off the show. By the second half of season 4, most of the characters that Discovery has put actual effort into fleshing out (with success) have left: Lorca died; Sarek, Ash, Pike, and L'Rell are all left behind in the past; Mirror Georgiou went back to her world; Tilly completed her character arc and left; Saru completed his character arc and is still present but in a much-diminished role; Stamets has had a lot of his neurotic, abrasive characteristics filed off; Culber has marginally more going on with him than he had in previous seasons but the starting place was so low, so that's not saying much. At this point, Michael (who completed her character arc) is basically carrying the show, with some support from the relative newcomers of Book and Vance. There are a lot of dangers involved with this situation: (1) The show feels really different from its season 1 cast. I miss a lot of the characters, and the show is very different without some important Burnham relationships (e.g. Burnham+Sarek, Burnham+Georgiou, Burnham+Tyler). Especially Burnham+Georgiou -- I felt like that relationship was really core to Discovery and I'm not sure what the show is without it. Gabrielle is still around but they don't really make as much use of Michael's existing relationship with her. (2) I feel like it's a shame to write off a lot of the characters because I think a lot more could have been done with them. Rather than deep-diving into the characters, the show tends to just move on quickly, which means it's paying quite a steep opportunity cost where it COULD potentially make deep, multifaceted, memorable characters by giving them more to do and more room to grow and more things to bounce off of, but instead the show moves quickly onto another set of characters. (3) The show now has a lot of leftover lower-tier characters who have had to very rapidly step up and become interesting, but without the show having invested in them from season 1. (4) Characters with completed character arcs are just, well, less interesting. It was fun seeing some of Burnham's unique brand of neuroticism, for example. She is less interesting now that she is more psychologically stable.

Cardinal sin #3: "Show don't tell" is violated left, right, and center, with the multiple repeated speeches where characters just directly explain what is going on with them emotionally, about 5 or 6 times per episode. I can't believe that this is someone's idea of good writing. And yes, there ARE benefits to telling rather than showing but there's a reason why "show don't tell" is a general rule of thumb. It's just not as interesting to have everything spelled out for you. Part of the benefit of fiction and acting is that you can depict the emotions and the reader can understand and feel the emotions themselves without you needing to describe in words everything that is going on. Another part of what makes fiction interesting is when there are multiple layers of what is going on and what a character believes or admits is going on may not actually be what is really going on. Hiding information from the viewer and from the characters is key to driving narrative tension and dramatic irony, which is what makes fiction interesting and worth watching.

In some ways, I think Discovery suffers because it has a very realistic/verisimilitudinous way of writing their characters where (1) its characters who have similar backgrounds and training tend to have similar values, personalities, goals, etc. which makes them very generic and not distinguished from each other and utterly lacking in tension with each other, (2) they opt to depict a lot of boring stuff onscreen when it's not very interesting and could/should be cut in order to have an interesting plot each and every episode, (3) many of its characters are emotionally mature which is something that can happen in real life, and (4) in real life, people DO experience doubt and talk about their feelings with their friends -- that is normal. So having long, extended conversations where someone just says exactly what they're feeling isn't unrealistic. But this is another cardinal sin of writing, in my opinion: People don't read fiction because it's realistic -- they read it because it is unrealistic in interesting ways.

So for characters and characterization: Rather than have characters who are normal and unremarkable in every way, what people want in fiction is (for example) to see odd traits about themselves reflected in the characters, but exaggerated so as to be important and noticeable. Or characters who are puzzles with layers you have to figure out because they self- and other-deceive -- maybe this is not realistic, but it is fun. This is character-driven storytelling, which should be the centerpiece of your narratives. And it's not like Discovery doesn't know how to do this -- Michael, a human woman with a boy's name raised Vulcan who is a disgraced first officer now serving as a science officer... this is interesting. This is unfamiliar and fantastical and weird, but it provides a way to understand familiar human characteristics like socialization and what it feels like to have to navigate a society that does not accommodate you/your body/your brain in any way and the conflict between loyalty and detached ideas of duty and what it feels like to have to restart what was once a promising career. This is a character who you can slowly get to know over a season and in doing so you also understand more about the world she inhabits because of her unique perspective on it.

The characters should be unique rather than cookie-cutter and replaceable with each other. Compare the bridge crew of Discovery to that of TNG -- all of the members on both shows are confident, competent, psychologically well-adjusted, cool under pressure, etc. They've all gone to the same academy. But TNG also goes out of its way to establish that its characters react differently to the same kinds of situations. Take for example Wesley asking various senior officers for romantic advice in 2x10 "The Dauphin" -- every person he asks has a different reaction (Geordi: "Um look I don't have time for this, OK? *climbs up a ladder to extract himself from the situation*"; Worf: "*utterly contemptuous of human courtship ritual* Beg... like a human."; Data: "According to the definition of 'romantic compatibility'..."; Will: "*gets carried away whispering sweet nothings to Guinan*"). It's a bit of comic relief that isn't necessarily realistic. But having all the characters have a distinct way of trying to solve the same problem has the effect of establishing that they are not the same character. It's a bit of unrealism for the sake of having a more entertaining show.

And for "show don't tell" -- in real life, people ARE often just going to explain things as they are. And I can see what Discovery is going for in setting up as many opportunities as they can for characters to be emotionally vulnerable with people who they trust. This is realistic writing but it isn't good writing. Good writing keeps some things hidden from the viewer. Sometimes emotions are felt deeper because the character does NOT say them outright -- think for example of the how in TNG 3x16 "The Offspring," Data repeatedly laments that he cannot feel love for his daugther Lal. The episode doesn't spell out its themes, but if you watch it, you can understand that what Data is referring to and what he wishes to experience is the felt emotion of love. But for everyone else around him including Lal, what is actually more important isn't what is going on in your mind when you see someone but how you express your attitude toward someone with your actions, and Data's actions toward Lal are consistently loving. You don't need to have any character to say to another, "But in his own way, Data really did love Lal, didn't he?" It certainly is in-character for various characters to make this observation so you COULD put it in, but the viewer doesn't need to have their hand held throughout the episode to understand either Data's love or the rest of the crew's and Lal's conviction that Data loves her -- it is obvious in Data's actions, the way the crew fights so hard for Data to be able to keep Lal, and in Lal's own happiness and flourishing under him. Or another example, in TNG 3x15 "Yesterday's Enterprise," the episode ends with Guinan just saying, "tell me about Tasha Yar." In such a simple line, the show manages to convey many things such as (1) the way Guinan has interest in individual members of the crew (shown not told throughout the whole of the episode), (2) Guinan carrying the emotional weight of having asked a whole crew to sacrifice their lives for the sake of the future and her remembering that sacrifice when no one else does or can, something that is both an emotional burden on her but also hopeful and optimistic because it means their sacrifice is acknowledged and remembered by someone, and (3) that Guinan herself has gained something from this experience (she now knows about Tasha, a person who she can admire and respect). More importantly, there is some ambiguity here because the show has NOT directly told us what Guinan is thinking and feeling: how much does Guinan even remember? Given that she could not remember the original timeline, just had vague feelings that something was off/wrong, it's possible that Guinan herself doesn't actually fully remember Yar, only has a vague shadow of a recollection that is enough to prompt her to ask about a crewmember she otherwise would have no knowledge of -- but that doesn't matter. Because the viewer remembers all the events of the episode in crystal clarity even if Guinan may not. The weight and memory of honorable sacrifice I talked about above? It's not Guinan carrying that weight now -- it's the viewer. That one line can be pulling so much weight is not necessarily realistic writing but it is good writing. The viewer is then left with the weight of all the emotions of the show to process on their own, and that is what good, well-crafted art can do.

Anyway, it was probably a bad idea to watch TNG season 3 right before finishing up DSC season 4. The contrast in quality is just so stark. TNG is far from perfect but it has many of these basics down at least: One, it uses episodic plots centered around specific characters where that character drives the plot in order to establish the shape of various characters' personalities and the way different characters react differently to the same situation. Even plot-irrelevant teasers at the opening of episodes is used to flesh out characters -- a very easy kind of writing that Discovery easily has excess time to dedicate to. Two, each episode (for the most part -- there are some stinkers) is polished and worked on enough to meet the requirement of having an interesting and satisfying plot in itself. Three, it keeps characters around for long periods of time, which lets the audience come to understand them and what makes the character tick and see multiple aspects of their characters, which leads to more complex, multifaceted characters that you can really get attached to. Four, it trusts the events and the actors to convey the emotions of a story without having to spell everything out again a second time as a speech given by a character.

So yeah, in my opinion, Discovery is really trying and I appreciate that, but season 4 really fails at the most basic, fundamental level in terms of its writing that it actually provides an informative case study in how not to write fiction IMO.

#star trek #star trek: discovery #star trek: the next generation #st discovery negativity #st disco negativity

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