#these are all jokes btw pls dont kill me lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whyse7vn · 5 months

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MOVING OUT -

[ot7 x reader]

BFFS 😁💜

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: #NEWYEARNEWHOME

#NEWME 🙌🏼

hobi: don’t want to know don’t care shut up

jin: what now

jimin: sighs

tae: AWOMAN 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

yooongi: …

jk: #newbeginings 🙏🏼

namjoon: ??

jk: i’m moving out guys 😆

like living on my own

i am

no joke

real life

living with y/n era OVER

hobi: attention seeker

jin: idk if you can even survive on ur own

y/n: he’s being stupid

ignore him pls

jk: house warming party soon guys!!!!

everyone invited unless ur name starts with a j

yoongi: your name starts with a j

jk: everyone invited unless ur surname starts with a j

yoongi: are you stupid

jin: is this about y/ns new bf lmao

y/n: i brought jaehyun over ONCE and now kooks spiralling

jk: idk who is jaehyun sorry idk who that is or what ur talking about sorry idk a thing

namjoon: sighs

yoongi: lowkey valid

y/n: ????????

yoongi: i mean if we were living together and you brought a rat back home i would loose my mind a bit

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: yoongi

yoongi: just saying

jimin: LMAOOO

y/n: not funny

jimin: just a little bit

tae: i heard jaehyun a world famous cheater

y/n: guys

hobi: look you made her upset

jk: y/ns upset?

jin: yikes

jimin: it’s not even my fault

yoongi just makes me giggle some times

yoongi: 🫰🏼

tae: i’ll hold you bbg sshhh don’t cry

namjoon: ew

y/n: i really really like him ok

so if you all could actually maybe just give him a chance and not be assholes for once i would really appreciate it

hobi: ofc pretty <3

jimin: ok but do you love him

namjoon: jimin

jimin: WHAT sorry i really need to know

jk: DONT ANSWER THAT

jin: woah

jk: i mean you don’t have to answer that haha

i’m still moving out btw

tae: i think you should give up i don’t think she’s gonna tell you to stay

omg like a dog

stay

i wish someone would tell me to stay

“stay 😡”

ok bae i’ll stay

am i ur good boy?

tell me i am

look at me

i stayed here

waiting for you

tell me i’m your good boy tell me please

hobi: bro

tae: sorry got lost in the source

namjoon: you mean the sauce?

tae: yesss mayo!!

@y/n tell me to say

y/n: absolutely not

i can tell you to kys tho

tae: Keep Yourself here and Stay

a win for kim taehyung

y/n: kill yourself

tae: no

heheheh

i’m a bad boy tonight

what you gonna do about it 😝

jimin: oh my god stop talking

tae: she wants me

y/n: she has a boyfriend

tae: never even seen that man in the same room as you

u sure you not making this relationship up

y/n: do i need to send you a fucking sex tape to prove it

tae: i mean…..

if you want lol

y/n: ur gross

tae: you’ve kissed me

y/n: top ten worst moments of my life

tae: WOAHHHHHHH

UMMM

OK NOW YOU’VE CROSSED A LINE

namjoon: enough

both of you

y/n: taes a shit kisser

tae: NO I AM NOT

NAMJOON TELL HER IM

NOT OHMYGOD HOW DARE SHE

namjoon: wydm tell her?

ur acting like i’ve kissed you to know

tae: i’ll kiss you

namjoon: i’m going to block you

tae: I AM NOT A SHIT KISSER

jimin: tae can’t kiss tae can’t kiss

tae: STOP I CAN

hobi: that’s really sad actually

jk: can someone do me a favour

yoongi: no

namjoon: what’s the favour?

yoongi: it’s gonna be something stupid

jk: joon can you buy me a house??

yoongi: shocker!!

tae: guys i’m a great kisser ask all the girls i’ve kissed

jimin: girls?

the only other girl you’ve kissed is jennie

tae: THATS NOT TRUE I NEVER KISSED THAT WOMAN IN MY LIFE

hobi: she didn’t let you kiss her even tho you flew all the way to paris for her??

that’s crazy

jin: maybe she was waiting for marriage

y/n: maybe she was waiting for the police

namjoon: i am not buying you a house are you out of ur mind??

jk: but how i’m i supposed to move out?

namjoon: buy ur own house?

tae: why would she be waiting for the police??????

jin: being seen with you is a crime in itself

don’t even get me started of being seen publicly HOLDING HANDS with you

hobi: right yikes

jimin: what’s the french police number?

y/n: fuck knows

jin: baguette snail croisant

jimin: those are not numbers

hobi: isn’t that racist?

jin: to who?

hobi: the french??

jin: you can be racist to the french???????

hobi: i think idk???

jin: shit you better lock me up then

been oui oui baguette eiffel tower bonejawing my whole life

y/n: bonejaw??????????

tae: jin ur like a mega racist…

hobi: do you like trump be honest

jin: tf is trump

jk: namjoon pls oh pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺

yoongi: can you guys not have 2 conversations at once thanks

tae: just say you can’t keep up

yoongi: just kill yourself

tae: WOAH

namjoon get him!!!!

namjoon: am i a dog??

why do i have to always get someone

i think you guys need to learn how to fight ur own battles

tae: dog

“stay😡😡😡😡”

w-what’s happening to me 😰😭

🧍🏻‍♂️… 🧎🏻‍♂️…. 🐕

arf? 🥺

*head tilt*

jimin: this is why women avoid you

tae: take a leaf out of my book bro

jimin: would genuinely rather die

hobi: /gen /srs

yoongi: /kys

jin: wait so jungkooks moving out but doesn’t have a home to move into

jk: i can always move in with yoongi

yoongi: LOL

jk: or jimin

jimin: wow the weather is great today guys 😆

jk: hobi will have me

hobi: no!

jk: jin joon??

namjoon: give up

jin: are you silly

tae: i could

jk: no thank you ❤️

tae: wtf

y/n: LMAO

tae: what’s wrong with living with me???

jk: u scare me a lot i’m sorry

tae: fucking bitch

jimin: what if y/n moved in with jaehyun then you have the house to urself?

jk: ARE YOU SILLY???

WHY WOULD I WANT THAT

IMG THE THOUGHT OF THAT MAKES ME WANT YO THROW UP

NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN

jimin: woah ok don’t shoot me in the head tf??

thought you wanted this independent life

y/n: i mean i can if that’s what u really want kook

jk: KOOK HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE

my knees just gave out >.<

WAIT NO DONT MOVE IN WITH HIM YOU DONT HAVE TO IM SORRY NO DONT DO THAT

jin: u make me wanna throw up

jk: i love living with you!!! i’m sorry i’m not gonna move out so please don’t move out either living with you has been and IS the best thing that’s ever happened to me please don’t go

hobi: that’s a shinee song

jimin: didn’t she fuck a shinee member LMAO 💀

namjoon: jimin

jimin: sorrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tae: so you can fight her battles for her but fighting mine is an issue????

ok sexism IS real females were onto something with this one

y/n: females??

yoongi: they way you dig urself deeper and deeper into unlikeability is truly insane

tae: my fault feminist yoongi here to get my ass 💀💀💀💀

NO IM SORRY I DIDNt MEAN THAT LMAOO

PLS DONT HURT ME

IDK WHY I SAID THAT

THE DEMONS TOOK OVER FOR A SEC

NO JOKE BLACKED OUT

DONT EVEN REMEMBER SAYING THAT

NAMJOON TELL HIM IT WAS A MISTAKE

JOON

KIM NAMJOON TELL HIM TELL HIM

hobi: tell me tell me tttttell me

yoongi: i’m gonna shoot him

namjoon: understandable

hobi: it’s the love shot

jk: i’m not moving out guys

jin: no shit

y/n: hobi answer my ft >_<

hobi: give me one sec my love!!!!!!!!!!

jimin: woah???

jin: uhhhhhhhh

tae: group ft ❤️!!

y/n: kys!!

tae: why do girls not fuck with the nice guys anymore

hobi blew up a school once

hobi: ??

tae: get off the phone so my gf can call ME

yoongi: i beg you to shut the fuck up

tae: beggar

jimin: that coming from you is actually insane tae!

tae: what

namjoon: so whose hosting games night this week

yoongi: not me

jin: i did it last time

jimin: my place is real messy

hobi: don’t wanna :/

tae: i refuse in protest of tae respect and love in this gc

y/n: me and jk can

since he’s not moving out and all

jk: 😁!!

namjoon: cool

everyone ok with that?

jin: yup

jimin: ok

yoongi: yes

tae: whatever lol

hobi: y/n why don’t you invite jaehyun??

so we can all properly meet him

you’ve met his members right??

he should meet yours no?

yoongi: ?????

tae: ARE YOU SILLY

jin: ur so wrong for that

y/n: ahhhh idk

i mean i have met his members

and i really do want you guys to properly meet him as well…

jimin: somethings going on

jk: haha yeah lol i mean i’ve met him already

he was my friend lol haha not that it matters but that’s ok

did i say was ?? i meant is lol sorry i wouldn’t stop being his friend just cuz he’s dating you that would be silly

but yeah but if you want him to come that’s cool

but he really really really doesn’t need to haha

namjoon: y/n bring your boyfriend

y/n: are you sure???

tae: NO??£:£:££:

jin: yes!!! #drama

jimin: ofc

yoongi: whatever

jk: hahah lol hahah

y/n: ok

hobi: great ☺️!!!

cant wait

jimin: i bet

hobi: ??

jimin: nothing

hobi: y/n answer :p

y/n: okokokokokokokokok

jimin: i’m gonna do some deep diving i’ll talk to you all later

(unfortunately)

(and by force not cuz i like you)

(the talking to you later part not the diving part)

bye

jk: woah didn’t know jimin was a diver

yoongi: ur stupid

@y/n reply to my message

bye

jin: wow guys i’m really exited for games night

gotta stock up on the alcohol

so i guess i’m going too

bye 👋🏻

tae: good i’m going as well

i’ve got to go and punch a wall

jungkook come over

this is srs business

jk: okay ^_^

getting in my car

speak to you all later 💓

hobi: y/n told me to tell you all bye

so bye from her and bye from me

😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼😁🫰🏼

namjoon: woah

did we

did we just end a conversation normally….

oh my god

wow

guys wow omg

this is the first time this has happened

wow

i’m in shock

this is such a big step for us

i’m so proud

wow

what do i even say rn

….

yoongi: how about goodbye

blowing up my phone for no reason

namjoon: no ur right i’m sorry

goodbye guys

have a good day???

yeah

um wow

yeah have a good day guys i mean it

i honestly and truly mean it

wow

yeah and

yoongi removed namjoon from “BFFS 😁💜”

—

hobi sus

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

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weirdcat1213 · 9 months

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AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ HAPPY DAYS AJJAJAJAJA :D YEY TRIGUN BOOKCLUB :D

THOUGHTS :D

chap 1:

-happy days and everything is going to shit...yeap thats trigun

-i just noticed they have separated rooms and that makes me sad for some reason

-i love to see that rem was nice to everyone but was also getting annoyed by that guy, shes not perfect and I LOVE HER

-ngl, im not sure if the other guys did something

-its so cool to see the scientists joking around for a bit but then getting to see them in silence cuz IT IS a weird situation to be in. you are alone in space and something happened "on its own"..... It makes the situation more serious

-LMAO HER FACE I LOVE HER SM

-it hasnt even been that expanded in 98 (im sorry for the spoiler ig) or stampede (YET), but rem is so funny. shes more than a living saint and im glad we get to see more of her here. shes the only mom ever

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT

-also i thought knives *fixed* the thing, i forgot he caused it lmao

-arent they adorable? :3 pls dont touch them :3

-"it could end in disaster" you dont say....you dont say....

-NOT THEM SAYING YES IMMEDIATELY I WILL CRY

-BABY KNIVES WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU (ik what happened to him)

-"if you can love someone with all your heart then its alright".........im gonna take so time to think about that cuz....yeah, i guess thats true isnt it?

-oh that doesnt age wel...not even story wise but life wise....if we could only talk with each other

-ok so...is that a fucking ghost? and if it is, did she really appear when knives's faith in humanity was at its peak? really :c?

-OH ITS MY TIME TO GET SICK :D

-OK NO THATS SO INTERESTING CUZ HERE IS VASH WHO IS CURIOUS ABOUT TESLA AND WANTS TO READ THE REPORT BUT IN STAMPEDE (spoilers coming im sorry) IS KNIVES WHO WANTS TO READ IT. DID HE LOSE THIS FAITH *WAY EARLIER* THAN TRIMAX KNIVES??? HOW TF IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?????

-great....scientific....discovery.....you say......... so the scientists were ready for another tesla situation....

-pls no pls no pls no. you teach her how to speak and then you do that shit. stop

-by looking at the pictures and descriptions we can say that the scans began on her 13th day of life (multiple scans as the chapter mentions), and 87 DAYS LATER they started to ask themselves if that was correct to do from a moral standpoint...87 days. and just after they started to question themselves she started dying. just 10 days later...fuck

-"we have no desire to rest" WHAT ABOUT YOUR "SUBJECT" THO ASSHOLES

-its never not gonna make me sick how they killed a child in 100 days. thats all it took.

-ajjjj :c im fucking sick

chap 2:

-same vash same

-ily rem but no, thats too fucked up to forgive

-knives, my poor baby :c

-"i wish i could cut myself from everything too" oh mood, i mean what

-ok but rem trying to pick vash up and he refusing has to be so fucking heartbreaking for rem cuz thats her fucking child no matter what

-imagine your child who loved you so much rejecting you like that. i would literally shatter

-"you can continue the experiments with us" vash stfu i swear. catch me actually crying over that line btw im not ok

-INTERESTING how rem says she felt powerless (and i get why) but during the whole thing the crew had so much power over her life

-it fucks me up this is a one year old trying to die of starvation. yeah he looks older and etc etc but hes still less than 2 years old. life is pain. why nightow.

-also idk if im interpreting the panel right but i think he *was* going to eat but saw rem in his room so he stopped

-or are those different days? idk

-alright, today you are eating you sick son of a bitch :]

-NO STOP THAT YOU FUCKING CHILD

-the panel being blurry on purpose, 10/10

-hes sitting the same way rem did- oh im ending it all

-i feel kinda weird saying this but i just fucking love that story: the metaphor, how she tells it. it really feels like a parent trying to teach a kid something. its sad but feels comfy. i could literally read/listen to her telling that story of the train in her dreams over and over

-[pause for crying]

-its "separated ways" cuz that talk with rem lowkey divided rem i think. knives would be way different if he had heard what rem said. damn it why did he had to faint

chap 3

-"king of loneliness" pls i want to stop crying

-i know he didnt block the memory, i feel it

-yey creepy knives is here....yeyyy....

-amazing transition btw, gives me the yibbies every time

-HES RIGHT THO MF, YOU ARE AFRAID

-why he looks so cool while being creepy stop it knives stop it

-idk if im understanding it right, but i think knives did the thing he did in the first chapter but for all ships. it comes full circle

-god i hate when hes right

-im sad to say he looks beautiful and epic. also for the life of me i could not say if that plant agreed with him or not

-yknow what i think she didnt agree to that

-age of chaos wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D

[i took a one day break cuz the volume made me too sad BUT IM BACK BABY]

chap 4

-yeah ig my baby has been to so many funerals if you think about it

-YEAH TO THE RESCUEEEEE

-wolfwood: you dont wanna mess with this guy he will break you

the guy in question: :c

-aw his cute little and stupid face :3

-i love to see vash having a good time :') god he needed that

-oh man we're getting sad again

-also yes they take those people who did whatever they did but the bartender is also taking vash in, even the demons get to drink there huh, nice

-why tf is this guy so wise, why is he saying what vash (kinda) needs to hear? amazing, im devastated

-wait so the feathers or whatever hurt??? because of the face he made. SO DOES IT HURT???? NO :C

-knives can you not-

-ITS HIM IN ALL OF HIS FUCKED UP GLORY :D

-SHUT UP VASH, GEESUS

-the final panel its so cute and then there's the fucking speech bubble that says "dumbass" its true tho xd

chap 5

-NOT THE FUCKING FEATHER i dont want to go there

-he looks so tired :c

-oh shit i forgot about that panel of his face wth

-OH SHIT WOLFWOOD NO

-OH THATS CREEPY AS HELL YO WHAT

-"the last thing i want to do is be a burden to him" STFU WOLFWOOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-SHES HERE OH SHIT OH SHIT

-"youre the one who needs to be careful" I WILL CHEW GLASS

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-OH GOD OH NO ITS HIM GET OUTTTT

-elendira ily sm

-thank you wolfwood for saying trans rights lmao

-HES ASLEEP. KILL HIM VASH KILL HIM

-oh no his glasses :c

-ah fuck hes awake noooooooooooo

chap 6

-LEGATO IN THE METAL HANDBAG :D WHAT WILL HE DO

-dont you bring tesla into this >:[

-idk whats happening but KILL HIM

-*sigh* i hate when knives is right

-DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT AFTER STAMPEDE MF :C "if they come for us lets just run as fast as we can" YOU ARE MAKING IT SO HARD TO READ THIS MAN

-also yey he regained his eye :3

-:cccccccccccccccccccccc im so happy that talk was in stampede

-also yeah vash hates knives with a burning passion but EVEN THEN he still was willing to give him a chance and live together with him, i cant do this anymore really

-im picturing legato kind of jumping in his metal handbag to move around as if he was in a sleeping bag cuz i think thats way funnier lmao

-:cccccccccc vash pls

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :c his armmmm

-oh geesus oh god no OH HELL NO

-ohhhhh i see. look at legato being useful lmao /J

-THE ARK IS HERE WOOP WOOP

well that was certainly a volume

#trimax #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #im in so much pain and turmoil #but im also having the time of my life #but then again chapter 2 wreck me for the rest of the day and i read that at like 10am yesterday

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frannyzooey · 2 years

Note

I am so so excited for ITD 8 and some broken part of me wants you to annihilate us with the cee angst but also...pls don't 😭😭

anyways jokes aside I'm very excited and super grateful for this particular series, truly it's my happy place even tho it might make me cry next chapter <//33 (oh and btw I'm burnthoneymint I just changed my username letting you know because I dont wanna seem like someone who never reblogged the chapters)

I was actually looking for you this morning, trying to click on a link to something you wrote and the link wouldn't work and I got super sad that maybe you blocked me? And then I realized it was because you changed your username, lmao

I will not kill you with angst, because I can't do that! BUT, the stakes are higher in this chapter.....I'm hoping to actually have it out maybe this week? I'm almost done with writing it, I just need to edit and clean it up. @mourningbirds1 has given me some truly amazing advice and reassurance on this one and if it's at all good, thank her!

To know that it's your happy place means everything - I am so thankful to have you as a reader. <3 Thank you for this sweet message and for being so supportive!!

#in the dark ask

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emponies · 2 years

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♙♔♛♣♛♚♙

♦Well uh, hi!! you can call me chob(she/her)! i love Empires SMP and ponies, so i made a blog for empires ponies. because yes here i will be posting art i create of emponies. enjoy but pls read this post first for some cautions and heads ups and warnings and all that. ty

♦Currently all drawings/desings will be from season 1 as i have not seen any episodes from season 2 yet. i probably will in the near future tho.

♦feel free to ask me something, or request a scene/character to draw

♦NOTE: As this blog first starts out, most of the art you see will be mere concepts of what I think each cc would look like, both cc wise and empires canon wise. but after i got a rough concept of everyone then the fun starts lol

♦NOTE 2: This is NOT AT ALL intended to be a daily doodles type thing. i draw/post when i feel like it. sometimes a bitch be artblocked asf.

♦NOTE 3: Not every drawing is going to be a completely finished full piece. sometimes i'll just post some doodles. i am dogshit at natural backgrounds. So dont expect much of that lol

♦NOTE 4: Smallishbeans , ldshadowlady, and mythical sausage are my all time favorites… so you'll probably see a lot of art of THEM especially. juuuuust a heads up. i am planning to have many art pieces of each member tho so uh dont worry abt ur fave being excluded

♦NOTE 5: check out the emponies twitter !! also follow ME on twitter!! bc i said so. i follow back btw. would like some more empires/afterlife mutuals

♦NOTE 6: i swear a lot lol

♦NOTE 7: warning for a mild amount of shipping. not much tho. may occasionally make a joke abt two characters dating or i'll draw something dumb or sum I am only intending to ship the empires characters, not the actual creators. Of course if a creator says they are uncomfortable with shipping i will not draw anything of that sort

this does not apply to joel and lizzie since ofc they are already a thing. you will probably see lots of joel+lizzie stuff.

And obviously this blog is going to be entirely SFW. even though i say fuck.

♦NOTE 8: I have also seen afterlife smp, so you may see some doodles from there too. i may also draw and post pony versions of ccs who aren't in empires but associate with their group(ex: afterlife ccs like oli, meghan, etc). I've also seen 3rdlife/lastlife(NOT doublelife atm) so you may see some art from there too. though it'll probably only be joel and lizzie lol

♦NOTE 9: currently this account is only ran by me, chob. if you want to mod with me, dm me on twitter (@hitmonchob) and we'll get things sorted out

♦NOTE 10: do not kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.

♦NOTE 11: i am fairly new to tumblr. i have never owned a blog before. little to no clue how this stuff works. bare with me lol

i think that's it for now! Sorry for typing a whole ass novel lmao… i thank you for reading all of it Enjoy your stay at emponies ig !!

♙♔♛♣♛♚♙

#more on the way

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nabangasifred · 7 months

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not a bot pls

anyways, hi, im bea! im not exactly new to tumblr, ive had a tumblr account for quite some time now (about a year or so ago?) (also its @artsyinapaintbrush lol) but that blog has been dead for so long that ive decided to start over with a new one! so let me introduce myself to you because my info on my old account is definitely hella outdated lol.

as i said, my name's bea and i go by she/her pronouns! (not going by artsy anymore, sorry)

im a minor

im filipino, buttt im currently living in new zealand (its quite cold here lmfao) (it also explains my url! its a little inside joke me and a few filipino friends of mine have made)

as uve probably noticed from my old account's name, im an artist! what u probably dont know yet tho is im also quite fond of writing, so expect to see both of those on my blog!

lastly, im in a lot of fandoms lmao. like, a lot. i swear, you'll see me posting about total drama island and a second later u see me reblogging bbc merlin fanart (that ending killed me btw.) so dont expect me to stick to one thing lol

trust me, i am so incredibly sorry for the long introduction post but dammit i cant help myself AND i need to undo all the embarassing shit ive done on my old blog, so here we are lol. thanks for reading, and once again im not a damn bot

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uniformbravo · 2 years

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ALRIGHT i guess im liveblogging this now screams

(carry on by rainbow rowell or as i like to call it Gay Wizard Books)

im going back thru what ive already read a little bit a lot bit bc theres some GOOD SHIT back there.... i don't plan to be v thorough w this so dont expect a lot of story continuity or context i just want to yell about the parts that make me scream basically

the story is told from multiple povs in 1st person so every time it shifts i'll note it with the new speaker's name at the beginning of the excerpt

also there'll most definitely be spoilers jsyk!!

---

obligatory book cover appearance (simon on the left, baz on the right, party in the back)

[Simon] Baz told me that for him, it's like lighting a match. Or pulling a trigger.

He hadn't meant to tell me that. It was when we were fighting the chimera in the woods during our fifth year.

oh SHIT ok im glad i went back for this LMAO the chimera story is more significant than this lets on, i never woulda caught this

anyway "he hadnt meant to tell me that" LOL

"Do it, Snow!" Baz shouted at me. "Do it. Fucking unleash. Now."

"I can't," I tried to tell him. "It doesn't work like that."

"It bloody well does."

"I can't just turn it on," I said.

"Try."

"I can't, damn it."

[...]

"Close your eyes and light a match," Baz told me. [...]

"What?"

"That's what my mother used to say," he said. "Light a match inside your heart, then blow on the tinder."

It's always fire with Baz. I can't believe he hasn't incinerated me yet. Or burned me at the stake.

PLEASE simons like look at this asshole BOSSING ME AROUND meanwhile baz is like offering Genuine Advice in a critical moment gjakjgksdg it's like in pnat when johnny tries to apologize for getting max hurt in the hitball game and max is just like LOL NICE TRY ASSHOLE HERE'S THE REAL REASON UR APOLOGIZING-

He used to threaten me with a Viking's funeral, back when we were third years. "Do you know what that is, Snow? A flaming pyre, set adrift on the sea. We could do yours in Blackpool, so all your chavvy Normal friends can come."

"Sod off," I'd say, and try to ignore him.

I've never even had any Normal friends, chavvy or otherwise.

ok first of all baz PLEASE why is that so fucking funny, secondly simon's fucking gjskgjdgjkd LAME ASS COMEBACK "we'll even invite all ur friends to the funeral" "jokes on U i don't HAVE any friends" LIKE PLS

That night that we were fighting the chimera, Baz kept yelling at me until I went off.

We both woke up a few hours later in a blackened pit. The boulder we'd been hiding behind was dust, and the chimera was vapour. Or maybe it was just gone.

Baz was sure I'd singed off his eyebrows, but he looked fine to me--not a hair out of place.

Typical.

LOL he's an asshole AND he's perfect in every conceivable way??? FUCK this guy

(also also later im pretty sure penny says something like "if he knows ur there he'll protect u when he goes off so u don't get blown up" so like lol. lol and lmao baz turns up completely unharmed next to a completely obliterated fucking BOULDER, ON THE DAY HE TRIED TO GENUINELY KILL SIMON,)

Things I miss most about Watford:

[...]

No. 2--Penelope

This spot on the list used to belong to "roast beef."

GGJFOGJGKJDKG YEAH??? desperately wanna know what penny would say to this

The first time I came back to Watford, my second year, I climbed right into my bed and cried like a baby. I was still crying when Baz came in. "Why are you already weeping?" he snarled. "You're ruining my plans to push you to tears."

this fuckin DOOD

(weeping. weeping. this guy says weeping-)

(also they were 12 back then which makes it even funnier baz is SO like

(also wait hold on which one of them the fuck is older please PLEASE i have to know IMMEDIATELY))

"I've told you that his cheeks get really full when he has a nightmare? Like his mouth is filling up with extra teeth?"

simon standing over baz's bedside staring at him having nightmares like

(give it up for my sister's cat btw)

"Circumstantial evidence," Penny says. "And I still don't know why you'd creep up on a vampire who has night terrors."

"I live with him! I have to keep my wits about me."

She rolls her eyes. "Baz'll never hurt you in your own room."

She's right. He can't. Our rooms are spelled against betrayal--the Roommate's Anathema. If Baz does anything to physically hurt me inside our room, he'll be cast out of the school.

good thing baz is a giant NERD

(also "baz'll" is tickling me so much bc it's just. basil)

(im assuming that's how it's pronounced, largely bc that's how they say it in the great mouse detective, the only other point of reference i have for english accents,)

You get warnings when you're young: For the first two years, if you try to hit or hurt your roommate, your hands go stiff and cold. I threw a book at Baz once in our first year, and it took three days for my hand to thaw out.

Baz has never violated the Anathema. Not even when we were kids.

Inch Resting

"Penelope?" She doesn't answer. I lean off my bed and swing my pillow at her legs--that's how close the beds are; Baz wouldn't even have to get out of his to kill me. Or vice versa, I guess.

"I guess"

"Penny."

"What?" she says into Baz's pillow.

"You have to go back to your room."

"Don't want to."

[...]

I get out of bed and stand over her. Her dark hair is spread out over the pillowcase, and her glasses are smashed into her cheek. Her skirt has hiked up, and her bare thigh looks plump and smooth.

I pinch her. She jumps up.

god their friendship is so CUTE i love the two of them so much this is so good ;w;

The Mage nods. "Good." He looks at me for a few more seconds, then turns back to the window, like he's observed everything about me that he needs to. The sunlight catches in his thick brown hair, and for a minute, he looks even more like a swashbuckler than usual.

He's in uniform; dark green canvas leggings, tall leather boots, a green tunic with straps and small pockets--with a sword hanging in a woven scabbard from his tooled belt.

when my older sibling was in art school they did a painting of a pirate fighting a dragon that pretty much matches this description Exactly so from now on until proven otherwise in my mind the mage looks like this:

(simon snow series if the mage had a gun: )

I strip off my shirt and give the gold cross around my neck a rub. I'm not religious--it's a talisman. Been passed down in Agatha's family for years, a ward against vampires. [...] I don't really need to wear it all summer, but once you get used to wearing an anti-vampire necklace, it seems stupid to take it off.

LMAO this is genuinely so fucking funny he really has an anti-vampire necklace. a "fuck you baz specifically" necklace. statement piece

I don't see Baz, but there are so many people, it'd be easy for him to avoid me if he wanted. (Baz normally makes sure that I see him.)

lol lol lol

Baz isn't in our room when I wake up.

I look for him in the dining hall at breakfast, but he's not there either.

His name is called during my first lesson--Greek with the Minotaur. [...]

He calls out Baz's name four times. "Tyrannus Pitch? Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch?"

this fuckin ebony darkness dementia raven way ass-

She waves her hand at Agatha and me. "This is important. Agatha, you know Baz better than any of us. What did he tell you?"

"She doesn't know him better than I do," I argue. "I live with him."

"Fine, Simon, what did he tell you?"

"Nothing

cutting it off here bc it's funnier gdkfldg

simon's NEED to assert himself as the number one baz encyclopedia in this world i SWEAR 2 god

(also oh my god they're roommates-)

I know I should be happy about Baz being gone--it's what I've always said I wanted, to be free of him--but it seems so...wrong. People don't just disappear like this.

Baz wouldn't.

obsessed with the way he's so obsessed w this, PEAK enemies dynamic

"can't wait til this bitch is out of my life forever" *bitch disappears* "WHERE IS HE-"

(also interesting to specify "said i wanted" why would u phrase it like that simon. explain)

"No," I say. "I mean--Baz. Basil didn't come back."

"Ah," she says. "Young Master Pitch. Surely he'll be back. His mother did so value education."

"That's what I said!"

"Well, you know him best," she says.

"That's what I said, too!"

He Knows Him Best

Ebb nods and pets the goat. "To think you used to be at each other's throats."

"We're still at each other's throats."

She looks up at me doubtfully. She has narrow blue eyes, bright blue--brighter somehow because her face is so dirty.

"Ebb," I insist, "he tried to kill me."

"Not successfully." She shrugs. "Not recently."

"He's tried to kill me three times! That I know of! It doesn't actually matter whether it worked."

"It matters a bit," she says. "'Sides, how old was he the first time, eleven? Twelve? That hardly counts."

LMAO LMAO LMAO SHE GETS IT

"I'm just saying--been a long time since I had to spell you two apart."

"Well, there's no point in throwing down all the time," I say. "Doesn't get us anywhere. And it hurts. I suspect we're saving up."

"For what?" she asks.

"The end."

"The end of school?"

"The end of the end," I say. "The big fight."

"So you were saving it, and then he didn't come back for it?"

"Exactly!"

LOL HES SO MAD he said "meet me in the dennys parking lot at 3 am for an ass kicking" and baz said "snzzzzzzzzzz"

The Catacombs sit beneath the Chapel and beyond it. There are probably lots of ways down, but I only know of one.

In our fifth year, I kept seeing Baz slip off towards the Chapel after dinner.

[...]

Penelope only went with me at first, when she still believed Baz might be up to something.

She stopped after a few months. She stopped going to Baz's football matches with me, too. And stopped waiting with me in the hallway outside the balcony where Baz takes his violin lessons.

god. jesus christ. fucking. i swear 2 god. he was really out here like

But I couldn't give it up. Not when all my clues were just starting to come together...

The blood on Baz's cuffs. The fact that he could see in the dark. [...] Then I found a pile of dead rats in the Chapel basement, all pinched and used, like squeezed up lemons.

I was alone when I finally confronted him. Deep in the Catacombs, inside the Children's Tomb. Le Tombeau des Enfants. Baz was sitting in the corner, skulls stacked along the walls around him.

"You found me," he said.

GOD this goth ass bitch was really down here in skull city sipping on rats like Capri Sun every night i CAN'T deal with him he makes me insane

"They died in a plague," he said.

"Who?"

Baz raised his hand--I flinched back.

He cocked an eyebrow and swept his arm in a flourish at the room around us. "Them," he said. "Les enfants."

i really want to imagine that he just. Completely butchers the pronunciation. his dramatic ass sitting there like "the children...... Less En Fance"

He slipped a flask out of his jacket and took a swig. I didn't know that he'd been drinking--my sword dipped. I tried to remind myself to stay battle ready, and pulled it up again.

the hesitation here PLEASE

what does it mean...............

"Stake through the heart?" he asked, falling back into the corner and resting an arm on a pile of skills. "Beheading, perhaps? That only works if you keep my head separate from my body, and even then I could still walk; my body won't stop until it finds my head....Better go with fire, Snow, it's the only solution."

Better Make It Count. Better Hit Me In One Shot

I wanted to just slice him in two. Right then and there. Fucking finally.

But I kept thinking of Penelope. "How do you know he's a vampire, Simon? Have you seen him drink blood? Has he threatened you? Has he tried to put you in his thrall?"

Maybe he had. Maybe that's why I'd been following Baz around for six months.

and that seems like a plausible theory to you HUH ok

(also more hesitation. the Excuses smh hfhghdgh heh hee Hee)

"What if I accidentally Turned you? Then I'd be stuck with your pious face forever." Baz shook his head and took another pull at his flask. "I don't think undeath would improve you, Snow. It would just ruin your complexion." He giggled again. Mirthlessly. And closed his eyes like he was exhausted.

obsessed with this. give me the baz pov on this i wanna know his Exact thoughts at this moment STAT

(this was apparently the year he realized his feelings for simon so i am simply sitting here like Show Me The Truth. Release The Butthole Cut)

I dropped my sword but kept it unsheathed, then stepped out of my stance. "I don't have to do anything," I said. "I know what you are. Now I just have to wait for you to make a mistake."

He winced without opening his eyes. "Really, Snow? That's your plan? Wait for me to kill someone? You're the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen."

LOL get his ass, after all that internal struggle all he could come up with was "w-well i don't have to do it right NOW, i can do it whenever i want, just keeping u on ur toes lmao!!!!" like ghgkdjgs PLEASE

also thing that drives me insane about them #346

they're sworn enemies that hate each others guts forever right. baz calls simon "snow" bc it's his last name and that's what u do when ur enemies

but NOT ONLY does simon not call him pitch or grimm or what have u but by a NICKNAME???????? not even his first name it's his MIDDLE NAME like it does seem to be what Everyone calls him so sure ok but why simon. what is the MEANING of this

theres even a point later where baz is like "i know he tries to avoid saying my name whenever possible" so then wHY IS HE LIKE. YO WHAT UP BAZ MY GUY

AND LIKE when simon's talking to other people, like teachers and ebb and stuff he always says baz first and then clarifies "basil" LIKE IF YOU SAY IT TO CERTAIN PEOPLE ANYWAY WHY WOULD YOU DEFAULT BACK TO BAZ AGAIN I SCREEAAAMMMMM

even basil is technically a nickname his ACTUAL middle name is basilton, simon goes DOUBLE nickname he calls him fucking basilton twice removed i can't. i genuinely cant

and you would THINK that at some point baz would have been like dont fucking call me that asshole but i GUESS over the last 7 years it never Came Up

maybe simon just started doing it to piss him off (please let this be the reason)

None of it comes naturally to me. Words. Language. Speaking.

I don't remember when I learned to talk, but I know they tried to send me to specialists. Apparently, that can happen to kids in care, or kids with parents who never talk to them--they just don't learn how.

I used to see a counsellor and a speech therapist. "Use your words, Simon." I got so bloody sick of hearing that. It was so much easier to just take what I wanted instead of asking for it. Or thump whoever was hurting me, even if they thumped me right back.

I barely spoke the first month I was at Watford. It was easy not to; no one else around here shuts up.

💖 💖 💖 👑 Nonverbal King 👑 💖 💖 💖

simon autistic thank u

[Penelope] I must frown, because Simon raises his eyebrows and says, "I know, Penny--I'm not going anywhere. But if I stay here, then he wants me to lie low. He wants us to lie low. He says his Men are working on it, and it's delicate."

every time they talk about the mage's Men it makes me laugh so much theyre not just his men theyre his Men, the mage and his Boys, his Squad. cracking open a cold one with The Men

"Do you think Baz is with these other boys?" I ask.

"Makes sense, doesn't it?"

I don't say anything. I really, really hate to talk to Simon about Baz. It's like talking to the Mad Hatter about tea. I hate to encourage him.

BFJGOGUAGKGK YEAH OK

I lean into him, because I'm cold and he's always warm. And because I like to remind him that I'm not afraid of him.

penny is such a sweet friend PLEASE

(simon has rly powerful magic that basically makes him explode all the time so not a lot of people like to stick too close to him)

I raise my wand and cast a "See what I mean!" then start writing in the air--What We Know:

"Nothing," Agatha says. "Meeting adjourned."

LOL AGATHA

She said it felt like touching a raw wire and feeling the electricity shake you from the inside. Raw, scalding, scorching magic...

Which is still how Simon's magic feels. I've never told him so, but it's awful. Just standing near him when he goes off is like taking a shock. Your muscles are tired afterwards, and your hair smells like smoke.

again i just love the sentiment, "i've never told him so" pleaseeeeee

Once, he went off while protecting Agatha and me from a clan of worsegers--like badgers, but worse--

WORSEGERS

I don't think Simon and Agatha are in love.

But it isn't my job to tell them so. (And also I've already tried.)

PENNY

[Agatha] I know that Basil, I don't know...thinks about me. Or at least thought about me. That he used to watch me. Especially when I was with Simon.

UH HUH

I know that he hated what Simon and I have. And wanted it. That he'd do anything to get between us.

U DON'T SAY

Baz was always there, cutting in at every dance. Teasing me away from Simon, then just teasing me. Disappearing. Sneaking away.

oh my god baz PLEASE this poor girl

[Simon] I swear I don't normally lie and keep secrets from my friends like this. It's just--I can't tell them I'm out here looking for Baz.

the thing that kills me about simon's nightly searches is how utterly unlikely it is that baz would actually secretly have been on school grounds the entire time- but simon doesn't know what else to do and he can't just sit around and do nothing so he does the only thing he can do which is scour the Entire school grounds Just In Case

I know that it's Baz's handkerchief before I even see his initials embroidered in the corner, next to the Pitch coat of arms (flames, the moon, three falcons).

THREE FALCON MOON

I know it's his because he's the only person I've ever met who carries old-fashioned handkerchiefs.

miles edgeworth ass-

He dropped one on my bed, sarcastically, when we were in first year, the first time he made me cry.

Sarcastically

(also "the first time he made me cry" YELLS............ deets NOW)

Pitch Family Coat of Arms (colorized)

Agatha can't leave me. She can't leave me for him. Oh, he'd love that--he'd love to have that over me. Damn it all, he isn't even here to have that over me.

She can't leave me like this. She can't leave me.

We were settled. We were sorted.

We were endgame. (If I get an endgame.) (You have to pretend that you get an endgame. You have to carry on like you will; otherwise, you can't carry on at all.)

i kno simon's kinda having a rough time rn but YOOOOOOOO TITLE DROP LETS GOOOOOOOOOO *airhorns* *cannons* *fireworks*

I have to fix this. With Agatha.

I'll say whatever she wants me to say.

I'll kill Baz, so that he isn't an option.

FJGOEIWJGWJGKDG step one: work things out with my girlfriend. step two: Slaughter Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch Where He Stands

"All right there, Simon?" It's Rhys. He's coming up along the path from the library in his wheelchair.

I look up. "All right. Hiya." I'm not all right. My face is flushed, and I think I'm crying. Do my edges look blurred to him? He hurries past me.

LMAO LMAO LMAO rhys like "how's it going!!" and simon "how can i make her love me again *explodes*

artist rendition:

I'm not sleeping this time when I hear the noises.

I'm just lying in my bed, thinking about Baz.

nice

She looks over at his empty bed, and her sadness is so potent that in that moment, I'd do anything to get him back for her. (I'd do anything to bring him back.)

*spits drink* HUH????? U WANNA RUN THAT ONE BY ME AGAIN SIMON. WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS

Her face falls. "My son," she says, cold tears gathering in her eyes. "Give him this." She leans forward and presses a kiss into my temple.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I close my eyes and pull up my blankets. But the cold is on me, it's in me. "I'll tell him!"

If Baz ever comes back, I will.

[...]

I can't wait to get out of my room in the morning. I run out the door with my tie hanging around my neck and my jumper thrown over my shoulder.

I have no plans to come back. Ever. There's no room for me in there with all the ghosts. Let Baz's mum hang out with his empty bed; I'm tired of staring at it.

im gonna scream im gonna scream he went from "yeehaw i got the whole room to myself baby" to "FUCK this room if baz isn't here" HE WENT ON A WHOLE ASS JOURNEY

like is this genuinely implying that he was gonna fucking. what, LEAVE the school to go looking for that rat bastard himself, deliver the message or by god die trying, or is he just straight up like that's it im sleeping in the forest now ??????????????????? WHAT WAS HIS PLAN

absolutely deranged behavior he cracked. his worst enemy in the world didn't show up to torment him and he couldn't fucking take the peace and quiet

That reminds me. I'm wearing the same trousers as yesterday. I reach into the pocket and feel his handkerchief.

yea hyeah ok yeah neat cool and awesome u know that tuesday morning feel when u just gotta feel ur bros handkerchief in ur pocket, we've all had that moment at some point in our lives RIGHT

"Agatha's not really in love with Baz. She's just looking for something that sticks. It's romantic to be in love with a dead vampire."

"Dead?"

"You know what I mean," Penny says. "Missing. Seriously missing."

Was Baz dead?

[...]

In all of this, I've never seriously considered that Baz might be dead. Hiding, yes--plotting. Maybe even kidnapped or hurting, but...not dead.

He promised to make my life miserable.

SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREECHES AND SCREAMS HELLO???????? HELLO?????????? FUCKING HELLO????????????? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?????????? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???????? HELLO?????????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHGGAUGAGAUGHGAGHHAGHGHHH ???????????????????????????????

When the figure steps forward, I recognize him at once.

Tall. Black hair swept back from his forehead. Lips curled up in a sneer...I know that face as well as my own.

Baz.

I stand up too quickly, knocking my chair over. [...]

Baz steps towards us.

Baz.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO MANS JUMPED TO HIS FEET FRAME FUCKING ONE KNOCKED HIS ENTIRE CHAIR OVER HES SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD FOR HIM 💀💀💀

the repetition like he can't even fucking believe it, not Angry or Heart Sinking at the sight of him or ANY of that shit he is feeling one single emotion right now and it's just BAZ

and this happens DIRECTLY after simons like holy shit what if he's dead LIKE baz was gone for EXACTLY the amount of time it took for simon to start getting emo about him LIKE IDK WHAT IT IS BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THAT GETS ME........ it's like that moment when ur just about to lose hope and then at the last second BAM THERE HE IS

it's that TINY taste of despair and disbelief and denial we get a SLIVER of these deep deep deep down emotions that would absolutely never have surfaced had he not been pushed to this point over the course of the past what was it. like two or three MONTHS

he cant IMAGINE a world without baz in it to the point that it simply never even occurred to him like. u know what this is. simon and baz are mortal fucking enemies for seven years straight. attacking and biting and killing and maiming each other, this is their relationship, this is their Status Quo

so when baz doesn't show up to school, extremely uncharacteristic behavior, simon doesn't think "oh my god he's dead in a ditch somewhere," his first thought is "ALRIGHT WHAT'S THAT SON OF A BITCH PLAYING AT THIS TIME"

because this is their Game, if baz is acting out of the ordinary then oh, he must be plotting something evil, his next Evil Scheme to overthrow the mage or do Dark Vampiric Deeds and it's like. the longer this goes on the more desperate simon gets because this IS part of the game, right?? any moment now he'll reveal himself and start monologuing, RIGHT???? RIGHT??????

and the thing about it is he doesn't even REALIZE that's what's happening here, he's just losing his mind more and more every day trying to find SOME sense of normalcy but it's impossible when the biggest constant in his life is Gone and goddamnit if that bastard would just get his ASS back here-

u know in megamind when metroman fucking dies and megamind slowly spirals into madness because what the FUCK we HAD something going u werent supposed to ACTUALLY DIE what the hell am i supposed to do NOW

yeah

fucking beautiful. absolute masterpiece. poetic cinema. Literature

---

ANYWAY so this book is divided up into these hard defined sections and that was the end of Book One!! baz finally shows up and the screen cuts to black, killing me instantly-

i figured these Book sections would be a good way to divide up the liveblog but it also makes it kinda long so if i have more to say in future sections i might divide them up further. i mean i went WAY more into this than i thought i would, i had planned to just skim the parts i'd read already for scenes i wanted to cover but then i just basically ended up rereading it all over again so WHOOPS

so far in my prior reading i've finished the first two Sections of the book and am a lil ways into the third, so the next liveblog will also be covering stuff i've already read, but there's a lot of fun stuff in book two so i'm sure it'll end up being just as if not MORE hefty than this one

i am simply rambling at this point IN CONCLUSION pls read the simon snow series im having an absolute BLAST with it so far AND its gay what more could u need. happy pride

#retag later #hmmmmmm what tag should i use for this series #ss blogging #(i feel like ive used this tag already but i can't find anything on my blog so so be it #ss for simon snow)#or i could come up w a funny lil nickname like w pnat. simon snowmon. snowm'n #tips fedora m'snow #fslgkdjgkdfg ANYWAY #idk why i put so much effort into those doodles i weas really out here like HOW DO I STICK TO THE 180 DEGREE RULE #(still don't know if i technically did it right but everything seems to read clearly anyway SO)#(also i have yet to come across an actual physical description of rhys so this is a PLACEHOLDER ok orz)

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buttterknifeee · 3 years

Text

I roast you based on which batboy you have a crush on

this is all joke btw pls dont murder me in my sleep

Bruce:

you’re either a millenial or you’re into dilfs

you think you’re the therapist friend

you think you’d be the “cool mom” when you get kids

But you’re the wine aunt

or you said you liked bruce unironically but now you actually like him

Dick

touch starved

you’ve never met a “nice guy” who was actually nice and you want that in a relationship

you’re sad right now i can feel it

I dont think you like reading

Jason

you see your first mistake was having a crush on someone with a j name-

please lower your voice

To sum it up people who crush on jason remind me of this ex friend named Sophia who gave me trauma

no i will not elaborate

You like to focus on the fact that people say jason likes poetry not the part where he kills people often

Tim

you’ve never met a guy who is equal/ greater than you in terms of intelligence and wasnt a dick about it

hopeless romantic but has never had a boyfriend

you probably also like timothee chalamet or other white boys of the month

You might need to see a therapist idk

Damian

How are your grades?

you probably are a daminette enthusiast because you project onto marinette LMAO

Why do you fall for guys who don’t care about you

get off of minecraft and get your life together

enfp

Duke

Im cutting you guys some slack bc there’s NO duke content ever

youre either a middle child or lonely tho

Alfred

god fears you

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leossmoonn · 3 years

Text

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.

“How the hell—” Carl started.

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled.

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes.

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips.

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder.

“What?” Lip asked.

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

“What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey.

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window.

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged.

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps.

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked.

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically.

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous.

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since.

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him.

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently.

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was.

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register.

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled.

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked.

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled.

“Good,” Carl said.

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled.

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table.

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked.

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said.

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked.

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach.

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled.

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded.

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that.

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked.

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered.

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n.

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered.

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away.

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said.

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said.

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking.

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates.

“Yeah,” Carl nodded.

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes.

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked.

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces.

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said.

“You sure?” Carl asked.

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car.

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked.

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked.

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street.

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game.

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen.

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked.

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her.

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed.

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said.

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said.

“Deal,” Carl nodded.

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill.

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down.

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested.

“Sure,” Carl nodded.

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch.

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house.

“Hey, guys,” Carl said.

“Hey,” Ian smiled.

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded.

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows.

“I… am I?” Carl asked.

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked.

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help.

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously.

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said.

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested.

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said.

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up.

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee.

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled.

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand.

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here.

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts.

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly.

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled.

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck.

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned.

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion.

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained.

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”

————

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#carl gallagher x reader #carl gallagher #carl gallagher imagine #carl gallagher imagines #carl gallagher fluff #carl gallagher x reader fluff #shameless #shameless imagine #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich

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vethyourhalflingmother · 6 years

Note

whenever you have free time: can you explain your opinions on what houses vox machina and the mighty nein are in? i 100% agree w gryffindor nott btw

I’d just like to start by clarifying that altho I do feel strongly about some of these opinions (& ive joked about them being unchangeable - which is not true, to be serious), that doesnt mean I don’t wanna hear y’all’s - do you agree w/ me on some & not the others? completely disagree? completely agree for different reasons? tell me (politely pls) & give me some of ur reasons! i think part of the intrigue of sorting our fav characters into hogwarts houses is that it tells us what we value in them & what traits of theirs stand out to us the most - and that subsequently makes it…. fairly subjective (also doesn’t help that the standards for each house are kind of……vague lol)

I expect all of ur essays on this v important question on my desk by 8 am monday morning

now onto answering the actual ask:

The Mighty Nein

Caleb - Ravenclaw; aside from the fact that he obviously values books & advancement of his own magical knowledge, he also seems to think through important decisions in a logical manner (ex. he spent a lot of time thinking about whether he & nott should stay w/ the rest of the mighty nein)

Fjord - Ravenclaw; again, besides the obvious, his interest in studying at the Soltryce Academy, he’s also really observant & intent on learning from those around him, given all the questions he’s asked Caleb & the way he keeps an eye on Jester’s divine magic

Molly - Hufflepuff; altho initially i had some mixed feelings about this, after giving it some thought, im actually most convinced of this one: as many have pointed out, he’s shaping up to be the Mom Friend & taliesin also says he has a moral code that he sticks to - i think being steadfast in the way youre gonna put good into the world (& in how u treat the evils & injustices) is very Hufflepuff

Yasha - Slytherin; though I say this tentatively bc we haven’t seen a lot of her yet - she doesn’t seem like a traditional slytherin in a highly ambitions sense, but she does seem like to stick to her guns & prioritise herself when necessary (“I run into the woods”)

Beau - Gryffindor; she strikes me as fight first, ask questions later kinda gal & going in guns blazing seems very Gryffindor to me - in addition, she also saved nott from that manticore, which struck me as reckless bravery consistent w/ gryffindors

Nott - Gryffindor; i spent some time thinking about this one after @matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll gave some of their reasons for slotting nott as a hufflepuff - ultimately, I think nott’s a gryffindor despite the fact that she doesn’t consider herself brave is bc her actions speak louder than her words (“I cover Caleb’s body with my own” & “I kill the baby manticore”); the willingness to put urself at risk for the people u care about over and over even at ur own expense strikes me as a gryffindor trait (for better or worse, I might add - see my thoughts on Vax’ildammit)

Jester - look I……………………………..honestly don’t fuckin know. Hufflepuff? Slytherin? Idk ask me again in fifty episodes

Vox Machina

Percy - Ravenclaw; initially i had percy as a Slytherin but i think once he got over the whole demon revenge thing he actually turned out to be pretty Ravenclaw - I mean, he does invent things, and he’s not interested at all in being in charge of Whitestone (also what kind of fuckin nerd learns Celestial for the fun of it lmao)

Vex - Slytherin; Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt - she cares about the title & the money & with very good reason, i think - her ability to obtain what she wants & persevere through the tough times puts her in Slytherin (also - with trinket’s origin story - i think it takes some real fucking grit & confidence to dig urself out of that kind of situation on ur own)

Vax - Gryffindor; this one is a lot to unpack. @swiftbell & i have been arguing about this one on & off for awhile; she thinks Vax is a Hufflepuff (& she has good reason to). there’s a lot of debate about whether hogwarts house are based on who u are vs who u want to be/strive to be & while i think arguments based on the latter r fine, i tend to base mine on the former in this list bc its easier to see actions than try to parse out thought

so that being said, i think Vax is a gryffindor bc while he cares deeply about his found family, he doesn’t exactly place a high price on his own safety; he goes in first, he goes in stupidly, he almost gets himself killed a lot - that kind of drive toward self sacrifice, to me, falls under the reckless bravery of a gryffindor

(as I said to steph: a hufflepuff would die for their loved ones if they absolutely had to, but a gryffindor tends to look at it as one of their first choices - also vax reminds me a lot of sirius black but im gonna stop right here to avoid turning this post into a vax character analysis)

Grog - Gryffindor; grog doesn’t do much thinking, he just does (& im not saying all gryffindors don’t think - obviously many do (@ hermione granger)- but i do they’re the types of people most prone to falling into the trap of not thinking things thru) it’s almost like the opposite of vax’s problem except we’re not talking about vax anymore bc this isnt a vax character study

Keyleth - Gryffindor; i feel like im beating a dead horse here but kiki also doesn’t always think things through & is very prone to action; the difference between her brand of gryffindor as opposed to vax’s & grog’s is that her outcomes are a little more mixed bag

Pike - Hufflepuff; i think pike is a hufflepuff for a lot of the same reasons i think molly is… which is a little surprising so just bear with me a second; she’s very devoted to Sarenrae, which sets up her (mostly) clear perspective of the world and how she should exist & treat people in it; she’s less of a mom friend (altho she still has some of those qualities), and she’s as loyal to her own causes as she is to Vox Machina; she also tends to be very kind & fun-loving w/out being a pushover

Scanlan - im a huge fan of scanlan, which probably means i should have some momentous opinion here…………….but I don’t, I really don’t know - i think once i get to some key points in scanlan’s character development (which i think are coming up in the next like 15 episodes or something), i’ll have a clearer thought

Tiberius - im not sure i remember tiberius well enough to make a full judgment, but I would say Ravenclaw probably if i had to bc of his constant interest in intelligence & learning to be a better sorcerer

Tary - ive heard of him but i dont know him yet so tbd

#idkimoutofideas #i'm sure this was more than u all wanted to know but here you go #i'm a slytherin myself btw #the mighty nein #vox machina #critical role #harry potter au #hogwarts houses #text #asks #answers #long post

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woozi · 3 years

Note

henlo yza <3 ,

hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.

maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.

i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!

CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.

IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj

IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.

sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.

seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.

is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.

that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂

ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂

henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3

honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table

omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????

ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig

love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u

HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF

they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!

ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!

that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl

oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ

BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart

WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier

and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH

#🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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likeawildthing · 7 years

Text

one week since u looked at me

James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged.

3371 Words

For @expressopatronum, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D

tues.

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.

James Potter: im broken up

James Potter: literally

James Potter: and metaphorically

James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh

James Potter: hello?????

James Potter: im in Crisis here

Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?

James Potter: how??

Peter Pettigrew: well…

James Potter: she texted u???

Remus Lupin: she texted me

Peter Pettigrew: then he told us

Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs

James Potter: u believe her???

Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??

James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???

Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)

James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?

Sirius Black: alcohol

James Potter: Good Man

Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza

James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again

James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage

Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun

- - -

James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe

James Potter: no?

James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw

James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits

wed.

Lily Evans to StupidHair BigMouth: the biscuits were fucking delicious.

James Potter: WOW

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: BABE. u know i theoretically want to be sympathetic to ur emo angst. or whatever. but y the FUCK r u watching x-files at half volume at 3:37 fucking am

James Potter: go back to sleep??

Sirius Black: fucking difficult w the light coming in under my door

Sirius Black: AND u mess up my recs w that shit

James Potter: ill tell pete u think x-files is shit

James Potter: PS dana Scully is /not shit

Sirius Black: the redhead???

Sirius Black: fuckall, prongs, if ur watching the show bc she has red hair

James Potter: im NOT. watching bc it’s a Good show.

Sirius Black: is not

James Potter: it holds up!!

Sirius Black: fine. im not arguing w u bc u cant take the blow of being wrong. i get it. but if u wank to sculley on my sofa, potter, ill end you.

James Potter: u wldnt

Sirius Black: imported velvet. vintage. custom ticking. turned legs. u know how i feel abt that lounge, Babe.

James Potter: /i wldnt

Sirius Black: …

James Potter: k. ill stop

Sirius Black: damn straight. uve been broken up for a day??

James Potter: 31.25 hrs. n we ARENT broken up

Sirius Potter: whatever. make up with evans or im kicking you out

James Potter: what happened to being a good mate????

Sirius Black: making up w evans is whats good for u

James Potter: u know its not that simple.

Sirius Black: if ur waiting for me to ask u WHY its not simple….dont. shldve done that when lupin was here.

James Potter: i /did. i still need to process tho.

Sirius Black: process alone, w the volume below 12 & ur prick IN your pants!

Sirius Black: and reset xfiles to s6e4

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM <333: mum…you up?

Euphemia Potter: no

James Potter: …wow

James Potter: Good to know whose side ur on???

Euphemia Potter: I’m staying neutral.

James Potter: can you at least make me more biscuits?

Euphemia Potter: no. I gave her permission to eat them. James Potter: p sure that’s taking sides!!!

James Potter: are u talking to her right now???

Euphemia Potter: Her mother has passed, dear. She relies on me for situations like this.

James Potter: WOW

Euphemia Potter: weren’t you just here asking for your grandmother’s engagement ring last week?

James Potter: yes!!

Euphemia Potter: Perhaps you should come over for breakfast tomorrow.

James Potter: no

James Potter: …ill think about it

- - -

Sirius Black to squatter potter: DID I JUST HEAR U FUCKING GROAN

thurs.

James Potter to Babe: listen…sorry abt the sofa thing

James Potter: maybe outta line a bit. I wont watch xfiles tonight tho

James Potter: i can come over tonight, right???

Sirius Black: imported vintage italian velvet lounges b4 m8s

- - -

James Potter to sailor moony: and fuck, like. she deadass looked at me and said ‘im angry’ what does that even mean??? How can she be angry at an accident??

Remus Lupin: Prongs. uve told me this 12 times

James Potter: seven. my soul splits every time I tell it, so id know

James Potter: fuck

James Potter: LUPIN

James Potter: if u dont answer ill stop supplying ur Weetabix Habit

Remus Lupin: You wouldn’t. You know why??? its 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep bc two nights ago u were making us listed to the Lily Playlist. Last night Padfoot wldnt stop texting me abt u watching x-files (???) and tonight…I NEED SLEEP

James Potter: ur right. im not heartless.

James Potter: unlike evans

James Potter: i /am desperate tho

James Potter: if u answer, i wont come over and bug u in person.

Remus Lupin: Deal. So what else did she say?

James Potter: thats it!

Remus Lupin: normal voice, or scary quiet rage voice?

James Potter: wld i be texting u @3am if it was the normal one?

Remus Lupin: fair point…just surprised that’s all she said, considering you killed her pet

James Potter: first mum, now u?? i went to breakfast w/ her this morning and she AMUSHED ME!! ddnt even make bacon! a two hr lecture and No Bacon.

James Potter: over a fish! Remus Lupin: lily’s fish. which u killed. James Potter: it was a tragic, unavoidable accident!!

James Potter: ac·ci·dent 1. an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury. google does not lie.

James Potter: anyway thts what i get for doing Chores and trying to help around the flat

James Potter: i can feel ur disapproval, lupin

James Potter: she LOATHED that fish. she called it fish! how attached can u rlly be against smth u havent named. petunia pawned it off on her! she made Flushing jokes on the regular?? rly… was doing her a favor

Remus Lupin: please for the love of god tell me u didn’t tell her that

James Potter: which part

Remus Lupin: all of it. Any of it.

James Potter: well.

Remus Lupin: fuck

James Potter: so can i come over?

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: can i come in?

Remus Lupin: where are you?

James Potter: ur front steps

James Potter: i need Emotional Support, lupin

Remus Lupin: fine

fri.

James Potter to grlFIEND: still cant believe you tackled me to the ground this afternoon??? I should report u??

Lily Evans: I should report you??? trespassing? it’s how I’d treat any common burglar!

James Potter: 1. u know I’d be an Excellent burglar. don’t be harsh.

James Potter: 2. its not trespassing when i pay ½ rent

Lily Evans: Technically yes, but morally??? NOT ur flat

James Potter: you know how skeevy my teeth feel w/out my water flosser? which i still don’t have btw??

Lily Evans: I was so mad I threw ur attachments out, so

James Potter: Wow

James Potter: my rug burns are FINE, btw

Lily Evans: I had to buy a black dress, sew a veil, host a FUNERAL, write a EULOGY, send petunia a video of the whole thing, and ur whining about rug burns and a water flosser??? Lmao ok.

James Potter: lmao IM the dramatic one? OK

Lily Evans: Read 1:35:10 AM

James Potter: u actually have to, like, turn on the function for it to be a burn

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:14 AM

James Potter: …

Lily Evans: Read 1:36:25 AM

- - -

James Potter to Babe: u talking to me yet???

James Potter: it was an Accident

Sirius Black: Read 1:45:15 AM

Sirius Black: go to petes

- - -

James Potter: to pumpkin eater: PETE. My dude.

Peter Pettigrew: no.

James Potter: listen. black + lupin have fallen into dishonor

Peter Pettigrew: they haven’t

James Potter: they HAVE in collusion w/ one another and on their own, betrayed and disowned me. whts Dishonor if not that??

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me u were wanking on his velvet sofa

James Potter: SCULLEY

Peter Pettigrew: i get it, but u know how he feels about that. second only to his motorbike.

James Potter: …

Peter Pettigrew: and u, ofc.

James Potter: he and remus both think x-files is shit

Peter Pettigrew: fuckers

James Potter: so can i come over?

Peter Pettigrew: go HOME, prongs. to ur girlfriend.

James Potter: p sure she dumped me???

Peter Pettigrew: 1. she LOVES ur fucking face. she nearly snogged it off in FRONT OF ME just last week?? shes just as miserable as u are.

Peter Pettigrew: 2. I live w/ my mum

Peter Pettigrew: 3. U rlly have a wanking problem.

Peter Pettigrew: 4. My mum has never seen a penis and I wont let the first one she sees be URS

James Potter: idk how to tell u this, pete, but shes a MUM, so…shes had kids…

James Potter: we can smoke

Peter Pettigrew: come in thru the back

- - -

James Potter to sailor moony: fuck

Remus Lupin: …you know my name isn’t actually ‘fuck’ … right?

James Potter: Remus. Fuck.

Remus Lupin: isn’t pete watching you?

James Potter: he passed out.

Remus Lupin: dammit. where are you now??

James Potter: in a tree. like…u want to do a thought experiment with me?

Remus Lupin: …

James Potter: sorry, shldnt have phrased that as a question. Emotional Support.

Remus Lupin: you aren’t allowed to use that anymore.

James Potter: k, so like, if a person, however well-intentioned, right? like if they did something that hurt someone else. even if they didn’t Mean to. like maybe it’d be decent of them to say sorry??

Remus Lupin: you think???

James Potter: yea

James Potter: i mean…im Not saying that person shld. cos shes still bang out of order w/ the toothbrush. + the biscuits. + poisoning u and my mum against me.

James Potter: *their mate and their mum against them

Remus Lupin: you were saying…about the thought experiment?

James Potter: oh, like, well that person might owe the other person an apology

James Potter: *might. maybe. like 5% maybe

Remus Lupin: i would agree, but more like 95%

James Potter: just smth to Think about. Ya know??

James Potter: OK, heres the thing. its not hypothetical. talking abt evans ofc. cos like, i laughed, right? at her. while shes…crying. But!!! i smiled because it is kind of fucking funny??? shes overreacting + SOBBING. but, like, also cos shes so Cute and she did that elbow thing she always does when shes mad?? cannot convey how cute she was!! its so funny? that was, like, sure, the Wrong thing to do, because it just set her off More, and. ANYWAY, I could kind of…maybe…see how she would be upset by my laughing. or think I was laughing at her pain when really it was her anger. which doesn’t Sound like a good distinction, but it is a Solid distinction. ANYWAY, like, u know I have No Poker face, right?

Remus Lupin: you do wear your heart on you sleeve

James Potter: we both know ive a LONG history of taking off my shirt

Remus Lupin: really? you, james fleamont potter, have a history of overreacting and making poor decisions and have impulse control problems? i had no. fucking. idea. completely shocked.

James Potter: imma ignore that u used my middle name + the bit abt the impulse control

Remus Lupin: apologize to her??

Remus Lupin: actually…get your thoughts together a little bit more than this, maybe? then apologize

James Potter: gotta figure how to get down from this tree first

James Potter: thx for the talk lupin

Remus Lupin: night, prongs

sat.

James Potter to Maybe Lovely Lily: can I come home yet???

Lily Evans: lmao

Lily Evans: when u get ur shite together, yeah?

James Potter: u have all of my shite at OUR flat???

Lily Evans: delivered it to remus

- - -

James Potter to lupin, fuck: u have my stuff????

Remus Lupin: this pile of shite in my living room? yes.

Remus Lupin: come collect immediately pls.

James Potter: shove it in the spare closet

Remus Lupin: spare closet is full of pete’s contraband he doesn’t want his mum to see.

James Potter: right. well, go through and take what you want as payment.

Remus Lupin: already did. btw why do you have a sumo suit?

James Potter: she brought over the sumo suit???

Remus Lupin: yes.

James Potter: FUCKING WOW

James Potter: btw…how did she look? what all did she say? (not that I care!!!) but is she despondent w/out? dark circles? facial blemishes b/c she’s been too distracted to adhere to her rigorous skincare regime? did she even have the energy to contour??

Remus Lupin: she looked ok .

James Potter: whts that mean

Remus Lupin: i mean she looked fine.

James Potter: no tear tracks?

Remus Lupin: no.

James Potter: damn

Remus Lupin: she didn’t look great though? honestly, prongs, i think she’s just waiting for you to apologize.

James Potter: not a chance????

Remus Lupin: dammit. you were almost there last night

James Potter: ????

Remus Lupin: the thought experiment?

James Potter: i got high with pete last night

Remus Lupin: should’ve known.

James Potter: and I might have, except she gave back the sumo suit which is an act of war????

Remus Lupin: james…do not blow this…more out of proportion. ok?

James Potter: id never

Remus Lupin: BLOCKED

- - -

James Potter to #1 MUM: can i at least have the biscuit recipe???

Euphemia Potter: sent

- - -

James Potter to DEFO NOT LOVELY LILY: the sumo suit??? really???? u know how to cut deep, evans

James Potter: i thought this was going to blow over quickly but apparently no???

James Potter: PS I hope u like The Pic I posted on Instagram (dnt pretend like u arnt stalking me)

Lily Evans: u wldnt

James Potter: …already did

Lily Evans: btw I had to throw ur fave Tupperware away. contaminated w/ dead fish germs.

Lily Evans: like, I almost kept it and dint tell you, but my Conscience (a lil voice that tells u right from wrong) smote me, so….

James Potter: W O W. you kept a dead body in my fave Tupperware???? the one that keeps my soup warm???

Lily Evans: Read 11:13:09 PM

- - -

James Potter to Pete McGeet: listen: Chickity China the Chinese chicken

James Potter: and u…have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’

James Potter: or smth

James Potter: anyway…wanna go to KFC???

Peter Pettigrew: what in the ever loving hell, prongs

James Potter: i think im cracking up

James Potter: defo pissed.

Peter Pettigrew: its sad. And a little bit pathetic.

James Potter: pathetic enough to stay at urs again tonight??? U know abt the others. And Mom wont let me on account of the principle.

Peter Pettigrew: if u bring KFC, yes

James Potter: me + the colonel are in a taxi now…

sun.

James Potter to Rude Remus: MATE

James Potter: got a burner phone

James Potter: PS imma pretend u ddnt block me

James Potter: anyway coming to go through my stuff, ok?

James Potter: Promise ill avoid ur sofa

Remus Lupin: sure thing.

- - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: babe

James Potter: see u typing. u can pull that Read shit or whatever, but, like, I was sorting thru my stuff @ remus’s??? + I shldve done it yesterday….

James Potter: (dont tell him was here PLS bc hes pissed at me abt smth stupid)

James Potter: ANYWAY underneath the sumo suit – nice diversion btw, that super pissed me off – was a pack of brand new flosser attachments. + my flosser. u even rinsed it???

James Potter: like, Thanks

James Potter: coming home bc u obviously dnt Hate Me Eternally like u said before Lily Evans: i never said that! v frustrated w/ u but i don’t Hate u.

Lily Evans: listen. I know uve wanked (and cried??? oh yes. Pete told me.) urself out of all your friends’ good graces, so

Lily Evans: u can come back to the flat

Lily Evans: its, like, on a conditional basis

Lily Evans: we aren’t shagging

Lily Evans: u live on the couch

James Potter: we have a guest room???

Lily Evans: couch or bust

Lily Evans: you can use the guest bath tho

Lily Evans: and the kitchen…if you cook enough for me, too James Potter: cool

Lily Evans: cool

- - -

James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: fuck yessssssssssss

James Potter: have won!

James Potter: maybe technically it started as my fault? like 15%

James Potter: shes all but apologized!

James Potter: not formally ofc, but i know what she meant

James Potter: knew if I held out long enough, shed come around

James Potter: lupin…have been living in ur car btw….i owe u for crisps detailing

Remus Lupin: ew. Happy for u prongs. Gtfo of my car.

Peter Pettigrew: go home n wait for her to apologize

Sirius Black: wait before u apologize tho 2

James Potter: obvs (+ sorry abt ur velvet sofa Babe. ill pay to get it cleaned)

Remus Lupin: literally going to murder u all

mon.

James Potter to #1 MUM: I know ur asleep, but I made u middle of the night biscuits.

James Potter: they r UTTER shit but I did Try

James Potter: thing is…u might have been a little (tiny bit!!) right about some of the things you said. Maybe.

James Potter: anyway, am Home and will probably apologize to lily…soon

James Potter: and i love u and sorry i was so pissy abt no bacon

- - -

James Potter to Lovely Lily: evans

Lily Evans: potter.

Lily Evans: how did u sleep?

James Potter: ok. u?

Lily Evans: meh

James Potter: i know id mentally said i wldnt do this for another day, on Principle, but Mum guilted me into it even tho she is still sleeping. Except she has a Point. So heres the thing ….

James Potter: and also moony said…

James Potter: i kind of, like,

James Potter: its like this, lil…

James Potter: well

Lily Evans: jfc babe don’t strain yourself, yea?

James Potter: u know what im saying tho

Lily Evans: i do

Lily Evans: and same. (ish.))))

Lily Evans: it’s like this, james. i….

Lily Evans: fuck

Lily Evans: we rlly have to get better @ this.

Lily Evans: I KNOW it was an accident. and also, like, I sort of apparently overloaded the aquarium power cord in the first place w my hair dryer??? so…yeah

James Potter: fuck

Lily Evans: yeah….and I shouldn’t have, like, tackled u

James Potter: it wldve been hot if not for the rug burns

James Potter: and also i was insensitive w/ the laughing thing

Lily Evans: wait!! We hve to STOP

Lily Evans: can u not apologize yet. not fully to the point where I want to bone u??

James Potter: ….was kind of on a roll here tho

Lily Evans: yeah but we have to stop James Potter: y???

Lily Evans: the longer we fight..the better the make-up sex is going to be, yea? science

James Potter: tru…but id argue good make-up sex now is better than Great, theoretical make-up sex

Lily Evans: that WLD be true, but i, like, ordered something online… James Potter: something. or. like. Something.

Lily Evans: the Something u had bookmarked in ur private amazon wishlist hoping I’d find it

James Potter: stalker

James Potter: i love u….but i still think we should make up properly????

Lily Evans: no!!!! it’ll be here on Friday.

James Potter: i got u a new fish & everything!! named him eddie.

Lily Evans: nice!! but u know i hate fish. sold the aquarium to pay for the Something.

James Potter: well. Fuck.

Lily Evans: love you too

#james potter #lily (evans) potter #jily #jily*#linds writes #au: text #au jily #fic: one week

487 notes · View notes

swearronchanel · 7 years

Text

I rewatched 5.09 aka The 2016 Christmas Special

I officially have done nothing productive all day. I did finish rewatching The Nanny though if that counts 😂😂 I forgot how much it made me laugh. Anyway I’m randomly in the mood to watch the 2016 Christmas special so why not post? Btw this will be long af this IS incredibly long but I just had so many thoughts ya’ know?

Ah I’m excited again, this was such a great special don’t @ me

The Turners! ANGELA’S LITTLE NURSE UNIFORM 😭💕 SO PRECIOUS

SHELAGH LOOKING LIKE A BABE😍

TRIXIE looking a babe 😍 she assisted in the cesarean.. later she’ll do it herself ahh

I want to have Christmas dinner at Nonnatus aww

“To absent friends"💔 my freaking heart breaks, sister MJ’s face! ugh she misses sister Evangelina. But don’t we all?

More cute Angela not talking as usual (still waiting for a word)

I want Trixie’s Christmas outfit, I want all her clothes though 😍

WE OUT TO SOUTH AFRICA

# LETS GET IT 1962

rip to sister felicity tho

More Shelagh being flawless, like yes Laura Main is so gorgeous don’t sleep on it

”God moves in a mysterious manner" lol shelagh I just love u don’t ever change

“Our own son had polio once” yes use guilt to make your point & get ur way

take notes people

“What you did I did, where you go I go..” excuse me while my heart fucking melts 😭😭

I remember watching this Christmas Day & my mom and I did the same sigh and “aww” expression at that line

She loves the show and is going to be shook when she watches series 6 lol

Also like Shelagh’s dress is so cute I’m here for it

Lmaoo I was wondering for so long beforehand why tf they brought Fred?? They Need those engineering skills apparently

CMON BABY DO THE LOCOMOTION 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

Yess the music is lit

Trixie’s turquoise dress 👌🏻👌🏻 I want it

Tims leg braces! I actually noticed them and was lowkey proud because I rarely notice shit in the background

More Shelagh being adorable, as always

Get those vaccinations💉💉 f*ck shots though lmao I hate them

What is Patrick whispering to Shelagh? 👀👀

That’s almost right up there with what in the actual fuck did he write in those letters to get her to ditch the habit and wimple 😉😏😉 NO BUT FOR REAL WHAT DID HE SAY? We’ll never know *sigh*

I’m here for everything Trixie wears lets be real

LOL SISTER JULIENNE BASICALLY TELLING BABS SHE CANT BE FOOLING AROUND WITH HER MAN OVERSEAS

don’t even argue that she’s making a big deal with any of that “he’s a vicar, she’s a vicar’s daughter, they don’t believe in premarital sex” either cause they were making out in public before and he was grabbing her ass in a CONVENT Lmaooo (good for him he’s not letting god stop him😂) jk I’m going to hell for all the jokes I’ve made through out this show anyway

I feel though, so im letting them live

But still the married couple barely touch each other 😂 so I’m a little salty *pretend there’s a salt shaker emoji* Fu*k it though

Also Patsy and Delia have been together for a while and haven’t kissed either as far as I remember

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING AS ALWAYS 😍😍 love her coat and glasses and everything she is

And yikes that swimsuit babs lol

There’s Patsy! With the horrible horrible wig :/

Sister MJ with the Christmas cake 😭😭 aye bendito she just wants to share it

How rich with alcohol is it sister? Pass it over

By guys🙋🏼 we out this Bitch ✈️🚢

The music makes me so happy 😭❣️

“Look at you Barbara! brussel sprout green” Lmaoo ew I hate Brussel sprouts and also throwing up in general😂 sorry babs you’re gross rn

Legit I have not thrown up since I was like 8, I refuse to let myself 😭😂and 3 semesters in to university and lots of parties and drinks I’ve never actually thrown up (been pretty close though haha) *knocks on wood so I don’t jinx it*

I love Phyllis. Have I said that yet??

“..do you have anything to stop my mascara from running” lol I am Trixie

but was there no waterproof mascara yet?

uh oh here comes the asshole sergeant (I think it’s the same guy as later on?), and Tom is so reasonable lol

Shelagh’s hat with the flowers lol, but yes her cute summer dress love it, glad she only took one cardigan 😂

Lol when the sergeant tells Trixie don’t smile 😂😂

yes Dr Myra pulled up, I thought she was kinda bitchy at first and still kinda do but she’s tough and badass so I’m here for it

“I can see the caption now, English Roses dash African Skies exclamation mark!” .. “this is a new camera” LOL AGAIN PHYLLIS IS A GEM I LOVE HER SHE’S SO FUNNY

And again Trixie’s dress, it’s so pretty I want it😭😭

And again I’m Trixie, talking about needing a face mask 😂

lol Babs you smell like grajo 😂

Phyllis sniffing her 😂 “you’ve had enough barley sugar and sympathy”

The spider 😂 I don’t like spiders so I relate lol & Barbara killing it and coming at Phyllis with the clapback “there’s venom on it and some backbone”

Why do I find the linen habits funny?

Aw Shelagh “it’s at times like this I wonder what would Sister Evangelina do” I’m so glad she brought her up

Rip sister E 😰

I feel like Patrick would still feel hot in that linen suit, like it’s still a suit lol? same with the nuns but like they have no other choice

Alright I’ll give Dr Myra that though asking about radium treatment was naive of Patrick

Fred is so funny though 😂 leaving his mark by shaving lol

Throwback to Shelagh’s og bri nylon nightgown’s first appearance 😉

“What’s all this” LOL about to be the cause of this miraculous conception that’s what 😂

“It’s made of a new material called bri nylon..” Shelagh is so cute and genuinely wanting to explain 💕

Lol like cmon u know Patrick probably doesn’t give a fuck and is gonna take it off

Of course Trixie would be mad she didn’t get to set her hair

“That hat covers a multitude of sins” that’s legit one of my fav Barbara lines 😂😂

Shelagh is the only one who brought the belt to her uniform because she’s Shelagh & has to look calm, cool, collected and professional lol

Phyllis’s kink: rolodex systems 📇

lol I really do like Dr Myra, making Patrick feel dumb and I don’t care

“..and they live in a society that is gradually stripping them of any dignity or freedoms they ever had..” again I like Dr Myra a lot. I didn’t really think she had a white savior complex as some people thought because she wasn’t trying to change anything just to help. She even says later on she does it for their need not her beliefs

Proud of Babs for learning xhosa phrases

Just watching this man run makes me tired & he has like tb right? yup

LOL PHYLLIS IS LIKE DO I LOOK SCARED? kicking Fred out the drivers side 😂

“I’m all for persistence in the face of adversity” I loved this scene between Trixie and Roza 😭💕 too bad I didn’t know I was gonna end up sobbing later

Did the nurses and everyone know how bad Apartheid was?

“We have to bloom where we are planted” VANESSA REDGRAVE SAID A VARIATION OF THIS IN THE SERIES 2 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WHEN MY BBY SHELAGH WAS GETTING READY BEFORE THE WEDDING I REMEMBER

Damn tho Dr Myra didn’t have to yell at the lady :/

THE SCENERY THOUGH, I WANT TO GO TO SOUTH AFRICA

Phyllis learned some xhosa too and im not surprised, she does it all

“Do you have the means to protect this mother and myself” no, “Then I don’t wish to hear anymore about it” PHYLLIS IS HARDCORE SHE DOES NOT GIVE ANY SHITS I LOVE IT

Aw Tom watching babs with the baby

lol I’m not ready for them to have a kid so I hope they wait a series at least

“NURSE BUCKLE” im cryin laughing 😂 I need more of the Phyllis and Fred dynamic

She just had a baby IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, YES THE MOTHERS ARE HEROINES

“Hells teeth” lol Patrick tried to make hells bells a thing but we know it can’t compare

Trixie serving another look, but whats new? But yes girl you watch those c-sections you’re up to the plate soon!

Haha she’s gonna teach Babs how to smoke

“They aren’t good for you, and the pair of you should know that” YES PHYLLIS WHY DOESNT TRIXIE KNOW OR CARE?

LOL SISTER WINIFRED we know you’re a red head

Idc, sister W used to smoke. I know it 😂 she was living it up before joining the order and lowkey while she’s been a nun, I just want to know her real name?

Of course Shelagh is worried about the lack of records but aye there’s the dress from 6.03 that magically fit even though her uniform didn’t 🙃?

“Typhoo, we brought it with us” YES I HAVE IT & I KNOW WHAT IT IS NOW & CAN RELATE

This scene with Roza & Constance & the nurses + sister W was so sweet I loved it 💕

“Why you should never be sorry, just be glad” 😭😭 there must be something in my eye that’s why it’s watery

Lol aw Trixie saying sister Winifred don’t go yet

Sister Winifred dancing 😂 go to compline

I lowkey have the sister Bernadette unhappy with being a nun vibes from sister Winifred except she’s never really unhappy? You get me? Like she’s annoyingly enthusiastic (in a cute way) most of the time but you can tell she wants to do thing nuns can’t do

“I just want to get it started so I can run him over” DO IT FRED ILL GIVE U $5

“I’m here on a missionary basis, I’m trying not to think uncharitable thoughts” LOL DONT WORRY TOM, SHELAGH’s GOT YOU COVERED

“I’m perfectly happy to think them for you” and she pushes her glasses up 😂 I LOVE The sas. I love her. & then Patrick is like “that’s my girl” & it’s cute af

Dr Myra you’re in pain, I see you

LMAO SHE MAD THAT SISTER FELICITY DIED LIKE SHE MADE THE CHOICE?

“I don’t believe in any of that” how do you tell a nun you don’t believe in God lol?

CHURCH LIT 💃🏼👏🏼

SHELAGH & SISTER WINIFRED TRYING TO COPY THEIR DANCE IS THE CUTEST THING 😭

All of them in the back of the truck is the second cutest thing 😭✨

I cherish the two seconds Shelagh and Trixie sat next to each other 😭 I just want them to be friends!! give me a cute scene between them pls, I won’t stop asking till I get one

yikes @ the water, STILL RELEVANT IN 2017! even in the US in flint

THE ELEPHANTS! ah love it. I want to go on an African safari 😭 guess I have to settle for the fake on in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.. it’s lit though I won’t lie

Mathias and Able 💔💔 and Patrick explaining “man to man”

“All medicine is good, usually” UGH THE THALIDOMIDE

No Dr Myra!!

It’s not liver cancer!! Ah now to wait till they realize

“There’s never no hope at all Patrick, it’s 1962” YES SHELAGH, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. ESPECIALLY CAUSE YOU’RE HAVING A FREAKING BABY, #LETSGETIT1962

Don’t worry Tom, leave it to the pros. Sister Julienne is gonna handle Mr Stark(e)?

SHELAGH WITH THE GOATS IM DEAD, why is she scared of goats but delivered fucking piglets in series 1? I’d be more scared of pigs?

Shelagh talking to sister MJ on the phone 😭💕 THEYRE BOTH PRECIOUS

fuck it’s Roza, brb im gonna cry now

😰😰💔💔 phantom pregnancy

Trixie hurting me more

beach time 🌞🌞

SHELAGH TURNER AKA SISTER BERNADETTE SERVING LOOKS ON THE BEACH. I’ve seen this 3 times and I’m still shook like The hat, the swimsuit, the sunglasses, I am d e a d once again😍😍 when will your fav ever?? She’s sunburnt and still killing it

LOL spicy sausage..

Phyllis in trousers >>

Also Phyllis had her camera where are the photos when they get back?

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING IN the black two piece and clubmasters AGAIN, when will your fav ever?

HOW DO I GET TO LOOK LIKE THAT? 😭😭😍😍

How am I so attached to Trixie and Shelagh’s characters like wtf?? Everything they do and say and wear, I’m just shook all the time. It’s not normal

Like Laura Main and Helen George could literally punch me in the face and I’d thank them

Why did Barbara get so mad on the beach with Tom? I feel the stress was real but damn

lol shoutout to everyone on Tumblr for pointing out that Shelagh and Patrick were being cute in the corner watching the sunset or whatever

I loved this scene between Tom and Trixie💕

MY BBY HAS COME SO FAR, SHE’S GROWN AND SHE IS THRIVING. LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO PERFORM A DAMN C-SECTION 😭

also she looks so beautiful, I want to look like that ah😍

Shelagh with the picture of Tim and Angela 😭💔💔

THEN SHE TOOK IS TO THE HOSPITAL UGH, so glad that is over it was too much

“I knew that yearning once, I was lucky because it left me when we adopted our daughter..” UGH CRYIN AND NOW SHE’S HAVING A BABY ANYWAY

BUT I LOVED THIS SCENE AS WELL

Shelagh is understanding & not judgmental of Dr Myra and I just love seeing her nursing & well I love everything she does but I’m so glad she had such great screen time

FRED DOING THE HAND MOTIONS FOR WHAT TOM WAS SAYING LMAO

“Medicine isn’t about doing what’s easy, it’s about doing what’s essential” yes Patrick, we have come full circle

there’s always a moment when I watch ctm and I’m like “I should’ve tried to become a nurse” then I’m like LOL NAH. The nursing program is so intense at my university I wouldn’t pass it anyway 😂

my mother’s a nurse though, I’ll leave it to her. After watching this episode it reminded her of how she always wanted to do a mission trip or like nurses without boarders and was trying to tell my dad she still wants to go 😂

too bad I’ve ruined her plans because my university’s tuition is ungodly & I didn’t get one damn scholarship

“No anesthesia” DR MYRA IS NO JOKE, kick ass woman.

Patrick, Shelagh and Sister J aka the dream team

How did they fake this? So crazy

“When people have no love to live for, it’s so very easy to fill that void with hate” 💔💔 something is in my eye again😭

“ Look where we ended up” “WE HAVEN’T ENDED UP ANYWHERE..and I’m not going to say anything else because I’m afraid I may speak sharply and no matter how high the stakes you don’t deserve that” HELL YEA SHELAGH, I’m so proud.

Sister W casually trying to not look at the handsome but sweaty Tom

Oh shit Dr Myra’s down

CORRA SHELAGH

Shelagh holding the umbrella and laying in the back with Dr Myra >>

Now Constance’s going into labor

Mr Stark I know you think you have a reason to be an asshole but wtf she’s a nun? Like you don’t even feel slightly disrespectful?

“I know what is it to have nothing but a photograph or two..” UGH THAT EPISODE WITH SISTED J’S OLD BOYFRIEND KILLED ME

I love Sister Julienne, I hope we can see hear more of her past.

Lol pbs cut that scene of Babs singing but why?

“Then we have no choice. We have to operate ourselves.” YOU CAN DO IT TRIXIE

the first time watching this my anxiety was on 1000

Phyllis tying up Trixie’s gown up like they’re suiting up for battle

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND IM STILL NERVOUS

THE BABY IS STUCK LIKE I WOULDVE FREAKED TF OUT

this is also why I won’t be a nurse or doctor lol, I’m always panicking

BABS PUSH THE BABY BACK UP

AYE GRACIAS DIOS, ALL IS WELL

“Well done Trixie, I couldn’t be more proud of you” 😭💕 me either

Yea I say you earned a cigarette

Better late than never to make amends I guess, but get that clean water going asap no rocky

The Turners are back 👏🏼

THE CAKE TIN 😭😭

& Able and Mathias 😭😭

Aw Tom proposing ☺️ I don’t really feel anything for them as a couple but this was a cute moment 😭

SHELAGH AND PATRICK GIVING TIM’S LEG BRACES TO MATHIAS AH MY HEART

And they got the water 😭

I LIED BEFORE EVERYONE JUMPING UNDER THE WATER PUMP IS THE CUTEST THING😭💕👏🏼✨

“Not all gifts come tied in ribbons, or at a special time of year. Some blessings surprise us arriving unlabeled and we embrace them in a blaze of joy” DAMN IT VANNESSA IM CRYIN THANKS (also now it seems like foreshadow for baby Turner)

Roza as secretary!! My heart again

I bet Trixie took over like a badass while Dr Myra was recovering

THE GOATS HAHA

PHYLLIS TAKING ALL THOSE PHOTO’S AT THE END IS THE GREATEST PART 😭💖 IM SO HAPPY AND MY HEART GROWS LIKE THE GRINCH EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS SHOW

LOL THE NUNS GOT PHOTOBOMBED BY A CHICKEN

AND CUE REDGRAVE

“But though they’d given their labor and their love, they also took and they learned and they went home wiser, enriched in ways they could not count”

The End 😭😭💕💕😰😰

Ugh I don’t care, that special was spectacular and I loved every minute.

#call the midwife #I'm TRASH FOR THIS SHOW #lets get it 1962 #am I still cryin?#yes #I'm still not over it #my commentaries™

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