#they are apart of a comic ive been working on for like 2 years except for all of those 2 years ive just been rewriting the script and not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

6 Anti LO Asks

1. i would actually get the idea people look down on the underworld gods bc like yeah theyre scary and unwelcomed, but like its undercut by rachel making them the most desirable and most powerful for?? reasons?? like she wants them to be underdogs while at the same time being the best at everything, which is her issue with persephone too, she also has to be powerless and humble but also the most unique and powerful. she wants us to root for them when they have no actual struggles.

2. i dont take reviews for anything, tbh. the "professional" reviews LO got were all by people who are also at the same printing house, so theyre literally paid to say something nice for marketing even if they dont like it (i work in publishing, we do this all the time), and amazon reviews arent regulated, so of course LO stans will flood it to fluff it up. thats what let's play fans have been doing too for years now too, despite it being wattpad markipiler fanfic.

3. I know comparing characters isn’t right but honestly LO has enough wrong going on I won’t feel bad. Persphone isn’t interesting on her own in LO. A lot of her character is having things happen to her except for flirting with Hades and killing mortals (and maybe running away as a reaction to Zeus). Persphone we are told she is smart, naive, powerful but powerless. Her character literally is whatever RS thinks fits the chapter the best. Persphone has no clear goals other than wanting Hades, what’s her major? What was the next step after college? Do the other gods go to college? Why doesn’t she know what sleeping to the top means but knows so much about flirting with a man who has a gf? What was she suppose to be doing if she never met hades?

Although the other female cast may not be likeable, they do actually do stuff that drives their own character

Minthe may have fallen into a shitty relationship with Hades, but she feels sick about the ring and treats Hades because he doesn’t listen to her. She leads Persphone to the wrong location cause she doesn’t like her. She fights hades (not a good thing but does something to the plot)

Daphne has Persphones background, grew up in the mortal realm. However she’s a lot more interesting. Demeter probably isn’t strict with Daphne, but Daphne is now and influencer with business deals and when forced to Dave Apollo bits and threatens him. And even before with Apollo wanted to find out her own opinions on the guy.

Hecate isn’t a main character but enjoys to be in the plot and leaves the plot as she pleases, she’s support but also seems like there more to her than shown. She likes chaos, gardening, and expanding her knowledge.

Aphrodite, drove the plot with the drugs and car thing, NOT A GOOD THING but actually did something. Was looking for her husband, testing her son may not be the best character but actually leaves marks on the story telling despite not showing up a lot.

Artemis, invites Persphone into her home, has always been this sliver footed hunter, was doing fine before persphone, but also has her own family issues

Demeter fought in a war, has her own morals and ethics when raising a daughter, may have messed up but again actually contributes to the plot

Hera pushes HXP together and apart, has her own interesting drama, seduced Kronos and paid for it gravely, DID have an affair with hades. Not good things but contributions.

Thetis manipulates people

Persphone just doesn’t do much herself in the comic. She didn’t want to go to the party, she didn’t want the job, a lot of the plot is having her having something happen to her. The drugging, the Apollo the offers, Meg offering her clothes even. She doesn’t drive the plot other than flirting with Hades even knowing about Minthe, killing those mortals, and turning Minthe into a plant, but none of those things are even framed as wrong. It’s like even when she does make a “mistake” it doesn’t “count”

4. DID HADES ACTUALLY REALLY HONESTLY SAY ZEUS' RAGE IS MISMANAGED!?!

5. Since we’re talking about self-inserts, hell, I have like 3 characters in my book that can be argued to be my self inserts. But the difference is that while I project onto them plenty, I still remember they are my CHARACTERS, not me. I give them flaws, I write them how I would any other, and I make them suffer consequences when needed. There’s a difference between that and whatever the hell RS is doing with Persephone

-----FP Spoilers-----

6. Not to beat a dead horse but even with Hades saying he misspoke in calling Persephone his wife - considering they arent dating and have only known each other for a short time period, it still sounds weird, right? Like in the newer chapters (I think) Hades and Persephone discuss going on a "first date" after the trial is over which would be fine - except A). It sounds as though even if Persephone gets a punishment (like lets say its a Prometheus treatment kinda thing) that they'll just go behind Zeus' back + authority to go on dates anyway, regardless of punishment or not, and B). Hades calling Persephone his wife indicates that despite not even being on a proper date or even knowing her all that well that he already thinks of her as such, which seems a bit presumptuous considering everything thats been happening.

Also ive seen claims far and between that months have passed if not a year since Persephone went on the run / the beginning of the comic - does anyone have a source for that? (The timeline makes everything confusing).

Also, I was told that the trial doesnt take place in the underworld - that it actually takes place in Olympus?? Anyone got a source? Pls and thanks.

From OP, not Anon: From the episodes currently on FP, the trial does take place on Olympus. The underworld is in a constant state of darkness and the place where the trial is being held shows it's visibly daytime. Also, it hasn't been months or a time skip. Some people were confused by Hades's wording because he said 'months'. Saying weeks would've been way better and less confusing.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

22 notes · View notes

catnippackets · 4 years

Note

have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings #Anonymous #ask #this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now

61 notes · View notes

robotbeararms · 3 years

Text

Apartment pt III

https://robotbeararms.tumblr.com/post/630473214223630337/apartment-pt-i

https://robotbeararms.tumblr.com/post/630536933346508800/apartment-pt-ii

It’s me, your boi, with part three finally.

To catch up, we’re now at like, 2016 in my love affair with my apartment.

My car, Dinah, was a 1989 Jeep Cherokee that I loved with all my heart. Unfortunately, she did not love me back. It wasn’t uncommon for me to have to sheepishly call up friends and family at all hours of the night because I was stranded in Seattle or Lakewood with a dead car and no way home. She would turn off if I took left turns too sharply, no matter how fast I was going (the engine mount had loose screws, causing it to disconnect from the battery). Later, I found out that I had a casual case of carbon monoxide poisoning due to a rusted exhaust pipe that leaked into the cab. I held on to that car as long as I could. Maybe that says something about my personal feelings about loyalty, but damn I loved that car.

At this point, I was working solely at the comic book shop now, and was a troop leader for a fantastic group of girl scouts. I have a habit of both being very casual when at work, while also secretly working myself to the bone. For someone who often says “capitalism is a fuck” I definitly spend a lot of non-work hours invested in my work. I’m working on getting better (that should be the only pun in this whole thing. I will not apologize).

I had a massive falling out with a friend. Looking back, I can see how bad the friendship was, but at the time, it felt like I had had the wind knocked out of me. Ultimately though, I learned a lot about standing up for myself and not backing down.

I met someone through the shop. We’d hang out almost nightly, often until 2 or 3 in the morning, talking about literally anything. We saw Rogue One in theatres together about 4 times, and got gently ushered out of bars when we stayed past last call talking politics. Me, being an idiot, thought that we were just very good friends, and that any feelings I might be developing were most assuredly not reciprocated. We’re engaged now.

Our apartment was not big enough to accommodate myself, my partner, my roommate, two cats and a very large dog. All the humans in the house had their own private libraries and large hobbies that took up a bunch of space, and all the pets loved to be exactly where you needed to be. Even though it was cramped and messy, it was warm, and it was home.

Then my dog died. Grief is hard, (obviously) but it takes on a certain, exceptional type of pain when it’s a beloved pet. I felt like I had a giant meat hook pierced through my chest and had been left to dangle for months. I held her in the vet’s office for half an hour singing “Black Dog” by AJJ until she passed. (Here is a link, if you want to start crying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PWYwgjncFs) The rest of the year was spent in a haze, and I am forever fortunate to my brothers, my partner and my roommate for carrying me through.

I had meant for this whole thing to only be three parts, but I’m long winded and we just now reached the end of 2017. So I guess if you are still following along, expect Part iv to come out eventually (I promise a faster turnaround time between this one and part iv than I gave between parts ii and iii).

Bonus photos of Dinah, the car that wanted to kill me and Maddie, the dog I would have died for:

#personal #apartment

29 notes · View notes

banashee · 3 years

Link

Part 6/25 of my @badthingshappenbingo round 2

Prompt: Denied food as a punishment

This is also Part 1 of a new series: “Like a ghost in the back of my mind”

please mind the tags and warnings!

A growing emptiness

A big part of his childhood, Clint spends either hungry or worrying about food.

He learns early on to take food whenever possible, because the likelihood of there not being any later is high. Most of the time, it’s due to poverty. This is often paired with his father (or later, other caretakers) spending money on booze rather than food. Satisfying their own needs instead of feeding the kids. Sadly, he is used to it and so he learns to eat whenever possible, whatever he can get his hands on any. Clint isn’t picky at all.

He’ll eat something even though it may be off. Clint has scraped mold off of bread more than once, forced himself to choke down something he doesn’t like at all, because it’s still better than nothing.

Sometimes, when things get bad, he’ll steal food.

He is ashamed of it, but not enough to stop. Running from someone who is angry he took some sort of fruit or vegetable from their garden is much preferred to digging through a trashcan. He does that, too. Some days, he’s got no other choice, especially if he managed to piss off Duquesne or Chisholm and they decide to cut him off.

“Pissing them off” can mean many things, and as much as Clint can be sassy or big mouthed when he wants to, more often than not, it’s not even anything he said.

He might not train hard enough to their liking, he might fail because he is sick or distracted. Any number of things that are out of his control.

Sometimes, they just feel like it. “You owe us your life” they’ll say, or “I decide if you’ll eat or not. Today you won’t.”

Clint gets used to this, too. It is one of the biggest reasons he’ll hoard food whenever he can get any. Occasionally, Barney or Chisholm will find it, and then all hell breaks loose, leading to more yelling, more bruises, more cuts or broken bones.

He is more careful after that. Clint also gets used to ignoring hunger - he’s been used to it long before, but living the way he does only makes it worse.

It’s not until much, much later when Clint is an adult and with SHIELD that he realizes just how fucked up his upbringing really was.

Yes, it hurt, and yes it sucked, in countless different ways. But he never knew anything else back then.

The thing is, if it happened to anyone else, he’d have started a riot for their cause. But him? That’s just how things are and better deal with it he kept telling himself.

Now, that Clint is older and out of this environment, he has learned that, despite his experiences, not all people are bad.

There are people who love and support him, people who see more in him than someone who is worth something because of his skillset. People who see him as a friend because of him, and not what he can do.

Until he gets there, it is a long way.

Clint doesn’t trust anyone, avoids personal interactions whenever possible. It’s easier to protect himself that way. The one exception is Agent Phil Coulson, who has recruited him - that is, he pulled him out of a shithole and offered a new job, a new life. Him being his assigned handler helps, too. No one else wants to deal with him, and he’s okay with that.

He’ll do his job and do whatever is asked of him, but he doesn’t want anyone around him, really. People mean risk means attack means loss of control.

Never again.

Apart from the obvious, working with SHIELD also means a lot more freedom than he had before. Sure, he’d spent 3 years on the streets and working highly illegal jobs, but he really doesn’t count “on the run” as freedom. The army, circus or foster care don’t come anywhere near that word and neither does any other part of his childhood.

Now, he has legal work with times and places to be when it’s ordered, but he’s got a place to go back to, a bed to sleep in and a cafeteria that’s open 24/7.

If he is being honest, that last part is kind of overwhelming. Especially in the first days and weeks, he expects the access to it to be revoked at any time, to find the doors closed some day. It never happens, but it doesn’t stop him from squirreling more bread rolls and packets of chips for later into his pockets. No one notices, or if they do, no one calls him out of it. It is as good as permission as it gets.

The thing is: Clint is used to starvation. He never really had regular meals, it was always eat whatever you can, how much you can and then hide more for bad times. Sometimes, that meant 6000 calories in one day and a few granola bars over the course of the next week.

It’s a pattern he is used to, and as such, his visits to the cafeteria are few and far between, but he does pack away more than most when he is there.

Clint doesn’t think anyone would care enough to notice.

He is wrong.

Clint has been with SHIELD for several months when Phil Coulson approaches him after a meeting. There are other Agents present, so he simply tells him, “Barton, a word please.” while walking past, trusting that he’ll follow him. He does.

When the door to Coulson’s office closes behind then, Clint asks,

“What’s up, boss?”

“Sit, please. This isn’t strictly work-related, but it worries me.” Phil knows he needs to be careful how he approaches this situation, because Barton doesn’t trust most people. He does, however, trust him, which is half the reason he is talking to his asset about this when most would have booked him an appointment with psych with no questions asked. In this case, it would be a sure way to lose whatever trust Barton managed to build in the past few months since he joined the organisation.

Clint sits down on the chair across from Coulson, frowning. He isn’t sure where this is going, and he hates that.

“Yes?” he asks curtly, waiting for more explanation.

Coulson speaks deliberately, keeping his body language open. The last thing he wants is for this to come across as accusatory.

“It’s something I noticed, and to be honest, I think you need help. Ever since you joined us, I’ve never seen you eat anything for more than a few times a week. Let alone multiple times a day. Not here or when we are out on missions…”

A deep flush creeps up Barton's neck. He isn’t angry, which surprises him. But he is deeply embarrassed that someone noticed his patterns.

“Oh.” he says, and stays silent for a bit. Thankfully, Coulson lets him, waits for him to say anything else.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it.”

Except, it isn’t fine.

It’s never affected his work before, but things get stressful and then, a mission goes to shit in all the wrong ways.

The circumstances are out of anyone's control, but when it gets down to it, people die and Clint, who has a bullet stuck in his shoulder, can’t react fast enough to save them all.

He finally gets a clear shot and with pain shooting through him, he manages to bring down the men who shot a group of civilians and two of their agents just seconds before, saving the remaining people. Unfortunately, they can’t do anything to help either their two agents or the family that was captured by them. One teenanger, a toddler and two adults. All of them are dead.

He failed.

Cold dread and nausea rise in Clint, and he manages to find an empty corner of the rooftop he is perched on before he is sick all over the place.

He is dry heaving while the Senior Agent whose name he keeps forgetting yammers into the commlink, causing it to blow out with certain tones that are painful despite his already shitty hearing. The sensation makes it all worse, but Clint can’t talk, choking and coughing still, when suddenly, his private channel to Coulson crackles to life.

It’s always in place, no matter what. Clint doesn’t trust anyone else like he trusts Coulson, and he appreciates him looking out for him that way. He is always more comfortable, when he knows that there is a line of communication open with him.

“Barton, status report. Talk to me.”

Clint chokes on air and stomach fluid again - there isn’t anything but water that he could throw up, but his body is reacting violently. There is blood, dripping from his shoulder and soaked uniform onto the floor. As much as he wants to say anything, he can’t.

“Stay put, I’m coming.”

With the other Senior Agent still yelling over the comms, with the pain, guilt and panic in his chest and dizziness in his head, Clint can’t focus on anything. He collapses on the floor, uncaring whether or not he lands in the mess, gasping for air and trying to get a grip on himself.

Then, Coulson appears by his side. He faintly notices that he is talking to him, but he can’t make out his words. He is too far gone, and then he starts to black out. Part of Clint is glad that he can blame the tears in his eyes on pain from his bullet wound and the fact that he’s spent the last few minutes throwing up violently, but even in his sorry state, he knows he’s fucked up.

When Clint wakes up, he does so in a hospital bed, drugged with pain medication. He hates it immediately, because hospitals, in his experience, are one of the unsafest places one could ever be in. He’s forced to stay in bed, hooked up to machines or IV lines, people know where he is and who he is and there is no way of defending himself in this state.

His heartbeat speeding up and breathing gets hard. Before he can do anything else, a warm hand is placed onto his arm, and it takes Clint a while to realize that it’s Coulson, who is talking to him, trying to help and he doesn’t leave.

Clint is too out of it to say or do anything about it. After a while, he falls back asleep.

He doesn’t eat.

The nurses pick up full trays every time, and they, along with the doctors and most of all, Coulson, express their concern.

“I’m not hungry.” he insists every time, and gets more irritated with every attempt to talk about this.

It must be a trick - Clint knows he fucked up, people died because of him. There is no reason he should eat - if he tries to take anything, things will get so much worse, and in his current state, he would be unable to defend himself. Better not risk it - he isn’t going to eat.

At this point, Clint isn’t even half aware of how wrong this mindset is, and just how much damage was done to him over the years to believe all of those things. Another reason for this, that only occured recently: it is his way to stay in control over himself. No one can force him to eat, and no one can take it away from him.

He is the one in control, even when he loses weight quicker than ever.

Medical wants to keep him there, not because his injuries would demand it, but because he isn’t taking anything but liquids.

Clint disagrees - he is fine, he insists, and takes the next opportunity to bolt when it presents itself.

He hides out in his bathroom, doors locked, sitting on the cold tile floor and shaking apart.

He is overwhelmed, anxious with guilt, nauseous from hunger and crying soundlessly out of sheer habit. It doesn't matter - there is no one around to watch him.

Part of him is angry and disappointed with himself - being with SHIELD was the best chance he’s ever had, and he messed up after such a short amount of time. The aftermath sure doesn’t help, and all he wants is to get away. It might be less painful than being kicked out.

He doesn’t know what to do, so Clint just keeps hiding until there is somebody at his front door, knocking intently. He curses it, but eventually drags himself to the door and opens - he knows he can’t escape forever.

To his surprise, he isn’t faced with an entire team of agents to be hauled away. The only person there is his handler, and Phil Coulson looks more worried than anything else. His frown only deepens when he sees Clint.

To be fair, he really doesn’t look good at all. He’s lost a lot of weight, hasn’t slept and is holding onto sanity with his bare teeth at this point.

“Hi Boss. You here to kick me out?” he rasps, and the look he gets in response is puzzled.

“No, of course not. May I come in?”

Clint steps aside, letting him in. He doesn’t look back while shuffling to the living room, and it is clear that his shoulder is still giving him trouble. Despite his best attempts to hide it, it is obvious to Phil, who is close behind him.

Once they’re sitting down, Clint remains silent. He is fidgeting with the fabric of a throw blanket, waiting for Coulson to talk - if he isn’t here to kick him out of SHIELD, he really doesn’t know why he would bother to come.

“To be honest, Barton, I’m not entirely sure what is happening. But something isn’t right, and I hope that we can find a solution.”

It’s all he can do to nod. He is exhausted and besides, he doesn’t know what he could say, either.

Coulson continues, “The last mission…” but Clint pales at the thought of it and he can’t stop himself from blurting out,

“I’m sorry. I know I fucked up. Wasn’t fast enough... Six people died...“

“You got hurt.” Phil replies, looking over to the couch where his asset is slowly shrinking into himself. Shit. He really must have underestimated this young man’s state of mind. Carefully, he continues.

“None of this is your fault - did you think we would blame you for the outcome?”

This seems to genuinely confuse him. “Uh - yes?”

Slowly shaking his head, Phil replies,

“No. Sometimes, things just go wrong and there is nothing we can do about it, except our best. You were injured, which you reported, and you still managed to save five other people. This is more than we could have hoped for. You did a good job out there, especially under the circumstances.”

“...Right.” It doesn’t sound like Clint believes it. He doesn’t have a reason to - nothing he knows or lived through would have indicated that something like this wasn’t to be blamed on anyone - probably him.

“I understand that this is hard. We have mental health professionals to help with that sort of thing, and I think it would be of benefit for you to talk to them.”

Clint remains silent - he doesn’t trust them. He has talked to them, right after joining the organisation - it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Giving away any kind of personal information makes him want to crawl out of his skin and hide somewhere. People knowing details about him is a dangerous thing, and as much as they’d needled and pushed, Clint managed to keep quite a bit to himself still. He is ridiculously proud of that.

Right now though, he is tired. So very tired.

“I don’t trust them.” he confesses silently.

Phil nods slowly. He figured as much, understands even - he, too, isn’t too keen on sharing certain issues. But it is a well needed support system that exists for good reason. This is what he says, surprising both himself and Barton with his words, but truth be told, this is everything but a professional conversation. He wants to help, not just because Clint is his asset - he cares, on a personal level. Phil cares for all agents, especially the ones assigned to him.

But something in this young man in front of him brings out his protective streak. It doesn’t matter that Barton is well trained in armed and unarmed combat, amongst other skillsets. He is 22 years old and as far as Coulson can tell, he’s never had a single soul he could trust or rely on in his life and he is determined to change that.

“Medical say they’re concerned about you coping. And so am I. Have been for a while, actually.”

It is clear that Phil refers to their conversation in his office a little while back. Clint sighs heavily.

“I’m not very good at it right now.”

He is beyond exhausted at this point, or he wouldn’t have opened up at all. As sad as it may be, but his handler is the only person who hasn’t fucked him over yet. He really hopes it stays that way.

“It’s just that, I’m used to things going certain ways.” Clint explains, rubbing a hand over his face. Then, he suddenly finds himself talking about the circus.

He is talking about food and shelter constantly being held over his head and how he eventually started to take back control in the only way he knew how. He is talking about starving and binge eating on purpose at first, and later out of sheer habit. Clint talks about the way the latest mission specifically triggered all of this, and he is pathetically proud of himself for being able to keep his emotions in check the entire time. It’s hard, harder than usual - but he is sharing so much already. He can’t do more.

Phil is listening to him without a word, careful to keep his face even. On the outside, he is calm and collected, but the more he listens, the more furious he gets. There is no other way to say it. Seething anger boils in him, directed at every single person responsible for years of abuse and mistreatment of a child who grew up to be a damaged adult, still doing his best and thinking it isn’t enough.

For how long he is talking, Clint wouldn't be able to tell. But once he is done, the room is completely silent and he is staring at a stain on the table - it’s easier than facing the fact that he just told all of these things to another human being. As much as it scares him, it may be just the right thing to do.

Staring ahead and keeping his breathing as calm as possible is all he can do for now. But maybe, some day, he might be ready to accept help.

*+~

Warnings:

- Past Child Abuse - Food issues - Eating Disorder - Starvation - Denied food as punishment - Food hoardig - Dealing with related past trauma, PTSD - Death, dying children (non-graphic) - Vomiting - Blood and injury, gun wounds

#banashee writes #marvel fanfiction #bad things happen bingo #whump #hurt/comfort #angst #tw food issues #tw eating disorders #tw ed #tw child abuse #tw trauma #tw violence #tw death #tw vomit

5 notes · View notes

infinitelytheheartexpands · 3 years

Text

Month of New Operatic Works #5: Gustave III (live audio recording from the 90s although I couldn’t find the location)

Generally, when experiencing a new opera, even if I know the story and/or some of the music, I try --and am able-- to go in with little to no actual expectations. This is what I like to do. I like to give things a chance and let them impress me (or not, in some cases).

However, I simply was not able to do that with Auber’s Gustave III, ou le bal masqué. Not the “give things a chance” part, but the “go in with no expectations” part. Reason being: Giuseppe Verdi’s Un ballo in maschera, which is one of my favorite operas by my favorite opera composer, was based on this opera, and this was considered the inferior opera that had already, deservedly fallen into obscurity by the time Verdi and his librettist Antonio Somma borrowed the libretto to last-minute fill a commission (which, ironically, due to censorship they never actually filled, but I digress). So as much as I wanted to go in neutral, that was in the back of my head.

And well, in short, while I still agree that Ballo is absolutely the superior opera, Gustave III holds up surprisingly well.

So Ballo and Gustave have basically identical plots (obviously) and structure, with a few changes:

Where Ballo divides 3 acts into multiple scenes, Auber mostly stays away from scene divisions in order to stick to the general grand opéra principle of 5 acts: Scenes 1 and 2 of Act I in the Verdi correspond to Acts I and II of the Auber; Act II of the Verdi is Act III of the Auber; the three scenes of Act III in the Verdi are Act IV and Act V, Scenes 1 and 2 in the Auber.

Gustave III has a bunch of characters with only a line or two who don’t add much to the story, so the cast list is significantly longer. However, all the principals are basically the same, down to voice type (except Anckarstrom is a bass and one of the two head conspirators is a tenor, so that means people would actually be able to tell the two head conspirators apart @simone-boccanegra).

Gustave III has two ballets: one in the first act when Gustave (who IRL was a major arts patron) oversees rehearsal of a ballet to be premiered soon during his morning routine, and one in Act V, Scene 2, that’s just...people dancing at the ball. The former particularly overstays its welcome just a bit (although the latter ballet is longer, but I think it Bops More and it would be more fun to watch), but I think my experience would improve if I were able to actually watch them (there is no filmed production available).

Anckarstrom does not get an aria in Gustave III. His Act I aria in the Verdi is a full-fledged duet with Gustave here (which I admit is probably better; I love that these two now get a full duet, and also unless your baritone can pull it off, “Alla vita che t’arride” is...somewhat boring). However, nothing in the Auber even remotely corresponds to “Eri tu che macchiavi quell’anima”, which... :(.

Technically, Gustave doesn’t actually die in the Auber, which is admittedly more historically accurate (he died about two weeks after the shooting) but is less theatrically effective (he just gets carried offstage while dying).

I’ve never heard or seen a full Auber opera before, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect musically. To me, this sounds like a little of everything: a little Gluck, a little Rossini, a little of his grand opéra contemporaries (for reference, the original quartet of singers for whom the roles of Gustave, Anckarstrom, Amélie, and Oscar were created [Adolphe Nourrit, Nicolas-Prosper Levasseur, Marie-Cornélie Falcon, and Julie Dorus-Gras] all also appeared in the world premieres of Halévy’s La Juive [as Eléazar, Brogni, Rachel, and Eudoxie] in 1835 and Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots [as Raoul, Marcel, Valentine, and Marguérite] in 1836, so their roles would all be relatively vocally similar across operas and composers), and intriguingly, stuff that could only be described as either proto-Verdi or proto-Offenbach.

Generally, I find it is in the more comic scenes that Auber is best able to marry music with situation and stands up best in the shadow of Verdi. Particularly impressive are the ensembles that end Acts I and IV, as well as the entire “grand bal” section of the climactic masked ball. There are some places where Auber attempts the kind of musical irony that Verdi hits so perfectly on the head, such as in the ensemble that ends Act III and the dialogue at the ball between Gustave and Amélie, and while he makes a good attempt at it, it just doesn’t have the same effect.

The more serious scenes are overall not as effective, but there are some exceptions: both Madame Arvedson’s and Amélie’s big scenes (respectively in Acts II and III) are Gothic brooding leaping off the pages of the score (the former also throws in some rollicking vibes). The love duet in Act III has the seeds of Verdi’s writing in some places, and while it takes some time to get going, it stands up admirably in the end. The final scene doesn’t have the sheer heartbreak of Verdi’s take, but it gets a great mood.

(Unusually for grand opéras, the fourth act, which usually at the very least has a showstopper aria if it isn’t the strongest scene in the opera, is the weakest act, with the only highlight being the really wonderful quintet that ends the act.)

Scribe’s libretto is pretty much everything you’d expect based on either a) other Scribe libretti (I stg 99.9% of libretti for French operas over an about 50-year period were at least partly his doing. the man is indefatigable.) or b) the Ballo libretto. Some of Ballo’s best masterstrokes, such as the “laughing chorus” of the conspirators and the lot-drawing scene, have their origins here, and while Auber (as already stated) doesn’t quite live up to the dramatic potential, it must be said that at the very least, it’s there. Also, there’s a lot of innuendo and insinuating that Gustave is bisexual, which? we love to see it. (Also, it is more likely than not that the real Gustave III was gay, so there’s that.) Gustave, Anckarstrom, and Amélie should have just had a threesome.

In short: it’s not a masterpiece, but it’s good. a pity (although somewhat understandable) it’s been virtually completely forgotten. there are Bops. the story is great, if not ideally realized. I enjoyed this a lot.

Links:

the recording I listened to

and the French libretto (there were some small cuts in the performance, so be prepared to skip a few lines every so often)

#opera #opera tag #Gustave III #Auber #Daniel Francois-Esprit Auber #Month of New Operatic Works #anyway I actually enjoyed this quite a bit #even if the opera is VERY uneven

3 notes · View notes

altheaselmaisadoradarsey · 6 years

Text

My thoughts on Hamilton West End

Thoughts on Hamilton West End 21/12/17 (night after opening!)

(This is long as shit and very messy it's full of first impressions and random things I've remembered (mainly the funny bits ngl) all mixed up together I apologise but I needed to get it out somehow cos I'm not good at expressing emotions lol, also the words funny, excited and hyper are prolly overused i apologise)

Bearing in mind I have not seen the bway show and the creative team is largely the same so I'm sure I'll talk a Talk about thinks that are similar in both

Vic pal theatre is stunning it's just been renovated our seats were sick even though we were about half way up the upper circle we had a brilliant view of the stage and the stage still felt really close

On a vaguely related note I wore my 'AND PEGGY' baseball cap and 3 of the stewards said they liked it it was cute

Act 1

FIRST THINGS FIRST THE CHOREOGRAPHY WAS STUNNING. A mash up of hip hop, modern and ballet. How you even think if that I don't know. There was always SO MUCH going on and the energy was constant - wether they were synchronised doing the same thing or all doing something different from the Schuyler sisters on the high walkway or the ensemble doing lifts in pairs even or whatever it just made me wanna dance (lol bc I can't) I can't talk about it enough but I'll stop now because I'm not eloquent enough.

Burr - voice is really unique and it was kinda weird at first (may be due to being used to Leslie) but you got used to it and I think reall suited the character? His mannerisms and physicality were SO BURR. Also was really funny! All his little one liners were done really funny-ly and well thought out.

Before they had King George to do a little announcement about phones and I love it also meant I was ready for the dum dum dumdum bc I was super nervous (in a good way?)

A.ham (song) - ahh it's such a good intro. when burr first came on there was an orange yellow light behind him and it made a super long shadow onto the stage and it was p o w e r f u l.

When they all came to the front of the stage in a line I was so excited because I've been waiting for that moment for 2 years

I LOVED Jamel Westman as Ham he was sick. He's just come out of RADA how do you deal with taking on a part like that with such little experience whoa . I must say that I think I liked him a lot more in act 2 than act 1 he seemed a bit stiff in act 1 but that may have been be I'm used to Lin who I think played him more nerdy and hyper? Kinda. I love both but Westman was insane. Also had a really nice singing voice.

Angelica slated my entire being Rachel John is perfect for that part

George Washington had a husky singing voice and it suited him so well

KING GEORGE III is possibly my favourite character ever he's so funny and extra.

I don't think Michael Jibson had the best singing I've heard in that role (but like who can even sing that it's high to kudos to him for hitting those notes) his 'kill your friends and family' was hilarious he sang the up until 'and family' which he said really seriously and then he left a massive pause where he just stared at the audience. I giggled. On the last da da dadadaaa's he did a little shoulder wiggle which was funny too! There was a couple of points over the three songs where he held long notes for even longer than necessary which was good too

Now my friends went and saw it in previews a couple of weeks ago and said they didn't really like Rachel Ann Go as Eliza so I did go in expecting to not like her as much ( I trust my friends opinions) which obviously wasn't great and I tried to go in with an open mind but I kinda understand why you might not like her however overall I thought she was good and I liked her a lot more in act 2 than act 1. At first I felt she was almost too excitable and hyper which more of a Peggy thing (speaking of, Peggy was really grumpy and cute which was funny) although Eliza did become a lot more restrained throughout the show which I think was a good choice as it helped show age and I think was more Eliza anyway. I thought her Best of Wives and Best of Women was perfect though. He American ACCENT though was not great I hate to say it but it was very British a lot of the time and in the 'ohhh I do I do I do I dooo' bit in helpless she sounded cockney? I'm sorry how

AWE IN HELPLESS ANGELICA COULDN'T GET ELIZA'S VEIL ON IN TIME SHE TRIED LIKE TWICE AND IT JUST SLID RIGHT IFF I FELT SO BAD It wasn't super noticeable though and things are bound to go wrong

In story of tonight reprise when Lauren's goes I've seen wonders great and small they all looked at Laf bc he was really short it was funny

Most of Wait for it was really still which was nice as it gave a rest from the crazy continual movement and action from the last few scenes. Also Burr has a peng voice

Ten duel commandments was super intense ahh

YORKTOWN WAS SO EXCITING IVE SEEEN ALL GHE PROMOS FOR THAT SONG AND TO ACTUALLY SEE IT LIVE SO EXHILARATING Westman was a stern leader and it worked really well

You could just tell that the audience thought it was the end of act one but NOPE SIT DOWN WE STILL GOT MORE

Also cheer on "immigrants: we get the job done" was British and polite but still there and I was READY FOR IT

on 'I'm so blue' in What Comes Next? Kings George did a little frustrated stamp and the red light he was standing snapped to blue it was good

Dear theodosia was super cute Burr and Ham were in matching costumes but Burr's waistcoat was purple and Ham's was green

Laurens' death was SAD but Cleve September is PERFECT for that role

Felt the transition from Laurens' death to not stop was bit quick, like I needed to feel sad for longer, it just sort of went straight into not stop

NON-STOP DAMN after the treasury or state bit Ham's 'lEtS gO' was so exciteable loved it.

On angelicas as it about her husband they got to the don't forget to writteee part and Angelica got taken away on the revolve Eliza was put into her place it was SO CLEVER near the end the staircase came into the middle and Washington was on the top and it was I N T E N S E

Clapped a freaking lot at the end of act one

Act 2

Dad called jeferson 'purple rain prince guy'

Seriously though the purple velvet was A Look

SUCH AN CRAZY Jefferson! Did loads of dancing and jumping and twirls is was so funny how he would just suddenly go into it

Ham snaked Washington when going in for a handshake he fully cut him off

I'm Take A Break they changed "John Adams doesn't have a real job anyway" to "the Vice President is not a real job anyway" which I think was changed so it's clearer to the audience who they're talking about

The cabinet battles were fab like I said before Westman was a calmer Hamilton but was more realistic 'We will reconvene after a brief reset' was said really sweetly to the audience like nothing was going wrong it was funny

Before Say No To This my friend just whispered Owh Dear really quietly and honestly? Mood

Christine Allado did a super sultry voice which was strong but deffo works for Maria.

The room where it happens was sick!!!

At one point the whole stage was in red lighting except for a bright white box that Burr was in it was so cool. Also VOCALS in this were amazing The Riffs!!!!

Cleve September as Phillip was cute you could really see the age difference between 9 and 19

The vocals in One Last Time we great "George Washington's going homeeeee" had me shook

In I Know Him King George seemed really crazy and manically smiled on 'that poor man their going to eat him alive'

And the crazy laughs at the end was brilliantly MANIC

He didn't leave at the end of his song just sat lower stage right and danced to the beginning of The Adams Administration which was funny but what was even better was that half way through his little introduction Burr noticed the king watching a gave him a odd look and the king just did a hand wave to tell him to continue and kept shimmying

WESTMAN'S VOICE IN HURRICANE WAS BEAUTIFUL

REYNOLDS PAMPHLET WAS FUNNY RVEN THOUGH I FELT BAD JEFFERSON LOOKED SO HAPPY AMD THE SET LOOKED REALLY COOL WITH ALL THE PAPERD FLYINV AROUND HAM BUT I COULDN'T EVEN FOCUS ON ANGELICAS BiT BECAUSE I WAS BUSY LAUGHING AT KING GEORGE DANCING WITH THE CHORUS AND ADDING HIS ONE SHEET IF PAPER TO THE MESS

oh but I loved was when Angelica arrived and the ensemble too way her bags in one motion it was slick and I enjoyed it

Burn was nice but I think Rachelle Ann Go made it a bit too vibrato-y which became kind of annoying (also I kinda felt though the entire thing she was forcing a really classical voice which was nice but didn't really work) her voice is amazing though apart from that and I really felt the reserved sorta anger in the performance

Blow Is All Away was SAD I COULD HEAR EVERYONE ONE CRYING AROUND ME, good dying (lol) on September's part

I wasn't a fan of Eliza's scream/cry when Phillip died I'm not sure what it was I didn't like but her counting WITH him was PErFECT

It's Quiet Uptown is the saddest thing ever lemme tell you. I don't cry. I cannot remember the last time I cried, particularly not at normal sad things. I saw Les Mis two weeks ago and didn't even get tear-y, so you can imagine how freaking sad this song has to be to get me to almost cry. I had pretty watery eyes and one hell of a snotty nose. It was bad. The lines like 'the unimaginable' were the worst. If you thing the cast recording is sad just wait until you see it live

After Jefferson came in with "can we get back to politics" he said it like he was tired of all the sad personal stuff which was funny and the Madison came on saying please and his voice broke like he had been crying at It's Quiet Uptown as well which was funny and it provided some well needed comic relief

When ham said he was voting for Jefferson Jeff did his twirls and dances again which was great and burr looked SO MAD

Your Obedient Servant was passive aggressive af it was great. And the ensemble was doing like lighthearted ballet and around them which actually worked really well Line change from "weehawkin, dawn" to "New Jersey, dawn" I'm assuming cos they've mentioned New Jersey more so it was clearer? Idk

Like I already said Best if Wives And Best of Women was 10/10 perfect

Ok so the world was wide enough Giles Terra (Burr) didn't do The Line™ in a really emotional way he did IT angry bc let's be honest you don't wanna compete yourself to Leslie on that so I enjoyed the change. HAMS SPEACH WHEN HE GEST SHOT IS SO GOOD I COULD NOT DEAL WITH IT

Also the choreo when Burr says "they row job back across the Hudson" they did this cool rowing move next to Ham and with the revolve it looked like they were on a boat!

I thought Eliza was quite good in WLWDWTYS "the orphanage" is such a nice bit

The gasp at the end was not made clear however. I understand it as Eliza seeing the audience and realising that her work has come true and that the legacy continues right? I only know that bc I read it beforehand, I think it could have been made clearer by the house lights come if up slightly so the audience knows Eliza seeing us. Also the way the gasp/hand move was done it made it seam Eliza was about to go into some really stereotypical opera singing? I just think she could have referenced the audience more but it's a really cute idea that I like.

All the cast bowed at the same time it was so cute and important bc everyone put in so much effort and they all deserved to be together

Straight up standing ovation oc

The play out music at the end was a really jazzy mashup of the songs and if my brain had been fully functioning after the show I would remember what songs but it was sick and they did the classic bum bumbumbum bum bum bum! At the end and the red and white bulls eye lighting they had for the duels flashed it was sick

SPEAKING OF LIGHTING IT WAS INCREDIBLE

THERE WAS LIKE A LIGHTING CUE EVERY 3 SECONDS I DINT KNOW HOW THAY MANAGED IT BUT IT WAS ALL SO WELL THOUGHT OUT AND CLEVER LIKE THERE WAS LITTLE LIGHTS AROUND THE EDGES LIKE STREET GRATES THAT IF LIKE BURR WAS IN ONE SIDE IF THE STAGE AND HAM ON OTHER THE GRATES WOULD BE ORANGE ON ONE SIDE AND BLUE ON THE OTHER. EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL. Yes I'm gonna rant bc techies don't get enough respect

I've definitely missed so many things I wanted to put here but I was quite overwhelmed which I think is understandable when I've been waiting for over two years for it but it was so so worth it.

Ok I'm done I might add more if I remember goodnight folks

#Hamilton #Hamilton West End #personal #thoughts #refff #musicals #Alexander Hamilton #Aaron Burr #Lin Manuel Miranda

17 notes · View notes

johnnythirteenguns · 6 years

Text

just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take!

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

6 notes · View notes

itsjayyyy · 5 years

Text

January 16, 2019 4:51 pm

So on last thursday after that update, I met up with heather for the first time since October. We met up at starbucks, but neither of us bought a drink. She already knew about my moving out because she saw me posting about it on snapchat. I told her all about how my new roommates don’t really talk to me (or do the dishes, or pay rent on time...) and also how my parents didn’t let me have my own bed (she was really shocked at that, which i didn’t understand like girl ive been homeless because of my parents no shit they won’t let me take a bed they bought themselves). I also told her about the whole rose situation, and ofc anna. I thought it was funny how when i told her about the whole “surgery on a porcupine” she was like “how is that possible? you mean she did surgery on those things that fall off of trees?”

After hanging with her, I went home since I had like 5 hours until my next class. rose kept messaging me like “hey are you ready to meet up?” “i can see you’re home now” etc. I didn’t answer, and honestly i was annoyed that she used my location as a weapon, so i left my phone at home when i went to class. Which was kinda annoying tbh, i felt so disconnected without it. (just got sidetracked, but i think when i get my student refund i’m gonna buy an ipod nano 1st gen, which was the first mp3 player i ever had. prob gonna fill it with the 3 vocaloid cd’s i found). After class i went to get a smoothie, then drove home. rose was waiting outside my door for me to get home, and she started going on about “omg i was so worried you weren’t answering my texts etc” we get into my apartment, and i just kinda unloaded onto her (again). just told her how it’s not even just the whole mom situation, but all of them had piled so much hate onto me since i was a kid that i’m incapable of loving myself, and it only frustrates me when they say “don’t see yourself negatively!” it’s like someone breaking your arm and then saying “just use your hand to grab x” without acknowledging that your arm was broken by them. she starts crying (as she always does tbh), then we go to get sushi.

friday i only had one class (psychology) so i chilled at home most of the day. can’t really remember what i did lol. oh wait i think i hung out with rose, to make up for not hanging out on thursday. yea we chilled at my apartment for a bit, then went to the west side to scoop up peter and get hooter’s. and then i complained about how i started feeling sick, and then called in saturday. i told myself that i would get ahead on my homework and clean my room, but i spent most of the day chilling. the gray cat that hangs around my apartment walked by my window, so i opened it and pet her. She climbed into my room, and i spent a good 3 hours just playing with her. I texted the owner asking if she was pregnant or not (bc she really looked like she was about to give birth) but he texted back saying it was a boy, and neutered. apparently he’s just super cuddly.

i called in sunday too, since it’s like i already lost an attendance point and i didn’t feel like going to work. i actually was productive that day, like i did laundry and cleaned my room. still getting the depressive episode out of my system, though, so i wasn’t running at full capacity.

on monday, i checked anna’s twitter (btw after i soft blocked her i felt that she was still looking at my profile tho, like our tweets would mirror each other in mood a lot), and she tweeted “omg i think my crush is flirting with me” so rip my chances with her. and yea i know it wasn’t about me bc outside of class i heard her talking about how they were talking thru snapchat. :c

i really can’t wait until fall when i get transferred to the downtown campus, though. as i was walking up to msb, i saw someone sitting directly next to the entrance. and you can probably guess who it was. I really thought “new semester, new schedule, no more stalker savon waiting outside my classes” but i guess i was wrong. as i sat in the hall waiting for my class to start, I had a minor anxiety attack that i tried to cover up by talking to my classmates and professor about high school funding. luckily in that conversation, i learned that msb has two side exits, so now i have different paths to take. (honestly this whole time i’ve gone here, i thought the “handicap accessible” sign in front of the side entrance was trying to say that wheelchairs should go down the stairs, but my classmate pointed out that it was supposed to say “handicap accessible, up this path to the right,” not directly forward. I took the side stairs after class and basically ran to the garage in case he was following. At home i still had an assignment for comp, which was “visit a place on campus that you’ve never been to before and draw it in a 4-panel comic” (this class is all about multimodal writing) which, by the way, is really only possible for freshmen. as a spohomore, there isn’t a single place on campus that i haven’t been to. except for that side stairwell. so i drew my experiences taking a new staircase as an exit. let me make this journal entry multimodal by adding my comic:

anyways, that comic was apparently way overdrawn, when all of my classmates did simple stick figures at memory mall. kinda felt like wednesday addams wearing a long black dress at summer camp. it was nice tho, gave me a way to express all of my feelings about the whole thing (since i had nobody to talk to). it was like art therapy.

tuesday we had a quiz at the end of calc. i know hindsight’s 20/20, but seriously how the fuck did i fail this class it’s so damn simple. I finished the quiz in a literal 30 seconds and then sat there because i didn’t want to be the first person to finish. all of my classmates looked really deep in thought too, so i started to wonder if i was maybe not doing it right. but then the professor walked by and saw i wasn’t doing anything, so i was like “is this all that we have to do (setting up an integral but not even solving it)” and he was like yea, ur good. surreal.

then i went home and chilled until my evening class, then after that drove to peter’s bc we were gonna hang. so rose remembered that i was coming over, but peter forgot; while peter remembered they invited paul over, but rose forgot. i know that they’re kinda close with paul and all but tbh i don’t really know him that well, and it feels awkward hanging with him. when i told rose that, she was like “but you guys have hung out together, remember that time you got blackout drunk and slept on his bed, i felt like that was a real bonding moment for yall” um no i actually didn’t remember that, probably because i was BLACKOUT DRUNK. anyways i told all of them about anna (since peter and paul didn’t hear the story), then we smoked a little and played comer. We all won a round except for peter lol. then we watched an episode of marie kondo’s show (i wanted them to see how she lowkey looks like a robot), and then i headed home. i got home at like midnight tho, and since we had a sub today in calc, i figured i could skip it. so today i woke up around 10, got on campus at 2 since i was gonna hang with heather (but her boss didn’t let her have a break since she only worked 5 hours so we’re gonna meet tomorrow instead), went to psychology (and we finished the chapter early so no class friday!!!), and since then i’ve been in the library writing this.

here’s my plan for surviving this semester: i’m gonna act like this is fuckin birdbox, but extreme version. he wants to get a reaction out of me, and he’s not gonna. from now on, any time that i’m outside of a building (and even most times that i’m indoors but not in class) I’m going to have headphones in, and look down at the ground (not like directly at my feet, but like looking forward but at the ground ahead of me) or at my phone. that way if he finds me, he still can’t get a reaction bc i’m visibly distracted in the only two senses that he can reach me through. i don’t think he would go as far as to try to touch me, so i should be safe.

i hate that i feel like i’m always on the defensive at my own damn college. i hate feeling like i can’t even walk around freely without being followed. but hopefully i just need to make it to fall, hopefully ucf doesn’t delay the opening of the downtown campus, hopefully i transfer in a few months and can *really* put this all behind me. then it’s all smooth sailing, just gonna go through my final two years at uni, then graduate, get a job in CPS for a few years, then go back to school for my master’s. from there become a licensed clinical social worker, so that i can maybe work for cps but in a hospital setting where i get paid more, buy a house, have a family. get out of orlando. (but i kinda like orlando...)

anyways it’s 6 o clock now, so in about 15 minutes i’m gonna leave the library, use the guidelines i wrote above, use the side entrance, and get to class.

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 6 years

Text

6 Millennial Fads That Are Way Older Than You Think

There are a few things almost everyone agrees on: Water is wet, babies are cute, and Millennials are the worst generation humanity has ever created. There isn’t a thing they like, from selfies to avocado toast, that hasn’t become a sign that their inventions and fads are ruining the very fabric of society. But guess what? Half of the “Millennial” trends your grandpa complains about are actually even older than he is. For example …

“Sexting” Has Been Around Since The Renaissance

It’s unsurprising that the invention of a device that is capable of both taking pictures and sending those pictures to another human being was followed immediately by the invention of the practice of sending people photos of your own sex bits — or as people much cooler than we are call it, “sexting.” But the idea of “sending nudes” in order to make someone horny for you is much older than camera phones. Hell, it’s older than cameras.

Nell GwynThis was accompanied by a smaller painting of eggplant and peach emojis.