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martian-astro · 1 month

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Solar return observations

(the artist is @eb_hua on twitter)

Saturn in 10th is a frustrating placement (my mom had it last year and basically with this you feel financially helpless, you keep on trying and trying but nothing works, but the good thing is that 2-3 months before your next birthday, you're gonna hit the jackpot, so don't worry too much) (my sister also has it this year)

I have noticed that in every solar return chart that I've looked at, the chiron was in conjunction with the north node and it has happened way too many times for me to call it a coincidence. (do you have it as well, let me know) (according to my observations, the house that it's in represents the area where you'll experience pain but also by the end of the year, you're gonna be able to deal with the themes of that house in a better way, am I making sense??) just let me know if you have any questions about this placement, I think it's very common

The year in which you have a gemini AC, you will focus a lot on building your professional network, a lot of communication, short distance travel and improving your relationship with your siblings, if you have any. (my sister has it this year and her master's will end on 29th April, she has applied to many places for a job and she's also coming to visit me, I'M GOING TO MEET HER AFTER 5 FUCKING YEARS😁😁)

Mars in 12th indicates a low libido, a very exhausting year in general, if you also have sun in 1st then... It can be pretty bad (it's like you KNOW that you need to stop procrastinating, but you really can't help it, so you look calm on the outside but your brain is like AKDHSGHSKGSKJDJK)

Jupiter in 10th in aries is a REALLY GOOD placement. (you get the courage to go after what you want, especially in terms of career) and if Jupiter is Trine/sextile with saturn, then it's even better

Uranus in 5th can mean having flings with people that are not your usual type. (one of my friends came to Italy this year, and the first thing she did was hook up with an Italian guy 😭😭, she's Indian)

Aries in 2nd is an impulsive shopping placement (if you have it and you think you need something, you don't) (one of my friends had this last year and he bought a hat for €150...... Yeah. He has saturn in 2nd this year and he's finally facing the consequences of his actions)

I know that saturn in 8th is associated with difficulties in sex and intimacy but there's another side to it (a lot of my friends have had this, and they became really mature about sexual matters, like if they were previously very into the hook up culture then that year they were more cautious and had this "I'm going to have sex with the person who I genuinely like or love" mentality)

This is very shocking but I looked at the solar returns of all the married couples I know and the year in which they got married, NONE OF THEM had a 7th house stellium 💀💀. For men, I didn't notice a pattern, but for women, 90% of them had Venus positively aspecting saturn (mostly, Trine and sextile but 2 had a conjunction)

My favorite solar return placement has to be mercury conjunct Jupiter, if its happening in capricorn or virgo, then you're really precise and direct with your words, a very leader type aura for that year. If it's in libra, then good for flirting and talking to your crush, there's a high chance they'll fall for your charms. If it's in pisces, then it's your sign to start a cult.

(all pictures are taken from Pinterest)

#astrology content #astrology #astroblr #astrology community #solar return observations #solar return chart #solar return #astrology observations

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wlntrsldler · 1 month

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poisoned mercury | pink skies

a/n: bf!luke, who else cheered?; suggests that five star and luke spent the night but nothing explicit! i decided not to let the angst monster touch them. they're my babies!!!! five star and luke get behind me!!!

viii. pink skies by lany

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there were many things about luke castellan that surprised you. one being that he wore glasses, or at least is supposed to wear glasses. he refused to wear them, against the sound medical advice of his optometrist and his mom’s insistence. his first adult responsibility was buying his own contacts because his mom refused to set up the appointments for him out of spite. he only wore his glasses when he was around the boys and poisoned mercury’s management team, but never out in public, and definitely never on stage.

two, he loved jazz music. only a handful of people knew this about him and half of those who do, don’t believe him. he supposed it was hard for people to believe that a pop punk lead singer would have an appreciation for jazz music, but luke loved it. jazz always sounded romantic and sensual and there was something calming about it. he listened to jazz before each show. he’ll never admit this unless you twist his arm, but he wept like a goddamn baby when he first watched la la land.

third, he was a polyglot, which he says is a little ironic because according to his mom, he spoke his first words in english significantly later than his peers, but he picked up on other languages quickly. he first found out about his talent in high school when he started hanging out at the rodriguez household and chris’ mom and sisters started saying phrases to him in spanish. he started taking spanish classes in high school and kept teaching himself when he dropped out. so far he can speak spanish, italian, and a bit of french. he attempted to learn greek, but it never clicked for him. he knew how to read it but his pronunciation was atrocious. he promised he’d try again sometime soon, but who knows if that’ll happen.

fourth, his idea of pillow talk was the two of you asking random questions to each other to get to know each other better, which is how you learned all these things about him. after one thing led to another last night, you fell asleep to the sound of luke’s voice against your ear. it wasn’t even that late; the group hadn’t come back from their trip to get food after they left the party, but you and luke were sleepy as you lay in the tangled sheets of your bed, at peace.

you learned that he was ticklish on the side of his ribs and that he planned to get a tattoo there but when the artist tried to put the stencil on his skin, he giggled and moved around so much that the artist warned him about his placement. he didn’t end up getting the tattoo there, but instead got it a little lower on his torso. luke had six tattoos, making him the one in the band with the least amount. the stolls were tattoo fiends and made it their mission to get a small tattoo from each place they visited on tour. luke’s personal favorite was the single line on the side of their index finger. it was a messily done stick-n-poke after one too many drinks in new jersey.

when he was younger, he used to climb on the roof of his house in connecticut. his parents warned him that he was going to hurt himself one day, but he, being the rascal that he was, never listened. until one day, after a light rain, he’d gone up there and slipped on the shingles and fell face-first against the roof. he scratched his face pretty badly, hence the scar on his face now. he told people that he got the scar from a bar fight because it sounded cooler. one day his childhood pictures will be posted on some website and his cover story won’t be as believable anymore, but that’s a bridge he’ll cross when he gets there.

it was weird to fall asleep next to someone. you hadn’t found yourself in this position in a long time, longer than you’d care to admit. when you hooked up with people in college, you purposefully made up some excuse about why they had to leave before sun up. “my roommate will be back soon.” “i have a huge test tomorrow morning.” “my friend just called and said she needed my help so i gotta go.” but with luke, you didn’t feel the need to make up an excuse to kick him out. you didn’t want him to go.

he asked the silent question as he was putting his clothes back on, hesitantly approaching your bedroom door to exit. he didn’t know if he was overstaying his welcome. he didn’t want to rush you when it came to things like this. so when he’d asked where his other shoe went, not caring about where it landed in the heat of the moment, you shrugged your shoulders and said, “dunno. we’ll figure it out in the morning, come back to bed.”

you didn’t need to tell him twice.

luke woke up before you did. you were lying on his chest, face pressed into the crook of his neck. your breaths made his skin tingle. he twirled the ends of your hair around his fingers, taking in the view of you next to him. he could get used to waking up like this every morning, he thought. he couldn’t imagine a better way to start his day.

you stirred, craning your head to face him as your eyes fluttered open, a subdued smile on your face, “g’mornin.”

“g’mornin’, five star,” he replied, lips immediately leaning over to press against yours. he frowned when you pulled back, shaking your head, “let me kiss you.”

“i have morning breath,” you cringed, moving your arm from under you to caress the nape of his neck. you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips, making him groan.

“i don’t care,” he pouted, nudging your nose with his own. you rolled your eyes but let him kiss you. the kiss was lazy and languid, lips moving gracefully against each other. it was sweet and slow like you were both trying to soak in this feeling with each other. you broke the kiss when you broke out into a smile, suddenly feeling shy.

“it’s noon,” you said, glancing at your clock behind luke. “we need to get up soon.”

“five more minutes,” he placed a string of kisses on your shoulder blade, grinning at the red marks he left on your skin from last night. “let’s stay here a little longer.”

you had a feeling here meant something more than just the comfort of your bed. here was the bubble you both allowed yourself to stay in for the last twelve hours, a little universe that was just for the two of you. it was different kissing luke in the darkness of the night. you could blame it on the secrecy of it all, shadows hiding your feelings for him, no expectations or weight of the dreaded conversation, but in the morning light, you felt vulnerable. you knew the mature thing to do was to ask him about what last night meant. was it just a one-time thing? would things change between the two of you now that the chase was over? you didn’t know.

little did you know, luke was thinking the same things as you. he would prolong this safe haven for as long as he could in case he would never get to experience it again. luke tightened his grip around your waist, breathing in the scent of your shampoo as he kissed your forehead. he couldn’t stop himself. he got a taste of what it was like to be with you and now, he couldn’t get enough. he’d find any excuse to have his lips on you. he grinned at you as he pulled away, “you snore, you know that?”

you buried your face in your pillow, embarrassed, “stop it.”

he laughed, “it’s cute, five star! i don’t mind it.”

“are you sure?” you asked, scrunching your face up in disgust, “i can’t in good conscience let you sleep over again if you don’t even get any sleep because i snore.”

“consider your conscience cleared because i really don’t mind,” luke pressed his lips against yours again. gods, he couldn’t get enough of you. “this makes up for it.”

“ew,” you shoved him playfully, sitting up to start getting ready for the day. luke remained flat on his back on your bed, “you’re so fucking corny.”

he propped his head up on his extended elbow, a smirk on his face. the rays of sunlight that peeked through your blinds illuminated his toned chest. faint scratches and pink marks contrasted his tanned skin. “guilty.”

you got up from bed, digging out a clean sweater from your closet. you wandered around your room, organizing things as you went on. luke watched you from your bed, eyes following your every move. his white shirt was peeking out from under the sweater. your sleep shorts showed off your toned legs perfectly. your hair was a mess, braids undone, but you still looked gorgeous. he blinked as your eyes darted to him, “you look beautiful.”

you rolled your eyes, narrowing your eyes at him, “you can’t even see me properly. you don’t have your contacts in.”

he’d taken them off before he fell asleep. he hated sleeping with contacts in. he’d snuck out in the middle of the night to grab his glasses from his nightstand before slipping back into bed with you. he was thankful you were a pretty heavy sleeper because he didn’t want you to think he was sneaking out to leave you by yourself after last night. when luke returned to his side of the bed, you rolled over and cuddled into him in your sleep, like you’d been waiting for him to return.

luke reached over to retrieve his glasses from your bedside table and placed them on his face. he pushed them up on the bridge of his nose and shrugged, “still beautiful.”

you walked over to him, sitting on his lap with your thighs caging him in. you held his face in your hands, admiring how he looked with the frames on his face. luke’s hands made their way to your waist, steadying you. you smiled, “i like how you look with your glasses.”

a lopsided smile appeared on his face, boyish and charming. “yeah?”

“mhm,” you hummed, “you look like a nerd. s’cute.”

“pfft,” he scoffed, poking your side, “i’m not a nerd. i’m a rockstar.”

“shut the fuck up,” there was no venom in your voice, despite your words. you couldn’t muster any resemblance of annoyance when he was looking at you all doe-eyed and pouty-lipped. you moved from on top of him, crawling over to your empty spot, “luke?”

he turned to you, “five star?”

“what are we doing?”

“we’re spending the day in bed,” he replied, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. he knew that the conversation was coming in soon. he was scared of what you’d say next.

your smile vanished as your shoulders hunched over, “you know what i mean.”

luke rubbed his jaw, “you tell me.”

luke didn’t know what he should say. he didn’t want to say that last night meant nothing to him because he’d be lying if he said that and he didn’t want to lie to you, but he also didn’t want to scare you off by telling you how he really felt. it felt like a situation he couldn’t win. his pessimism was hounding him. he didn’t want to mess this up before it had the chance to start.

“are we just fucking around? is this casual because i–”

at first he thought he could handle it. he’ll let you take the lead, he’ll follow you. whatever you wanted, he’s game for it, even if it meant that he got hurt along the way. but then the word casual left your lips and it felt like he was slapped across the face. he thought he could handle it if you wanted you guys to be casual or friends who kiss sometimes or friends who occasionally do more than kissing sometimes, but actually hearing you use those words made him tense.

“please don’t ever use those words about us again,” luke breathed out, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “i don’t know if you’ve noticed five star, but there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you.”

“i think we need to start talking to each other more,” you pondered. “because there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you either.”

“throw a guy a bone sometimes. you’ve tormented me for two months. how was i supposed to know that?” he teased.

you cocked an eyebrow, “but yet you like me so really what does it say about you?”

just like that, the indecision faded. it was back to just you and luke. the same way you’d always teased each other and pushed each other’s buttons. you’d both been stressed about what the other was thinking when you should’ve just talked to each other. perhaps all the poets and the writers in the world were onto something when they said that communication is key because you two wasted so much time running away from what this could be. it was funny really, how the two of you were both keeping these things to yourself, too scared of how you felt for each other to make a move. how much sooner could this have happened if you told him how you felt the minute you realized it? would he have kissed you a month ago? would you have been waking up with him beside you on your bed for weeks? who knows?

“it says more about you, to be honest,” he said, “you’re irresistible. even when you’re mean to me, i adore you.”

“you’re such a flirt, castellan.”

“i need to up my game,” luke chuckled, “yeah, i got the girl but now i gotta work to keep you.”

you placed a hand on your chin, pretending to think, “i don’t recall being asked to be anyone’s girl.”

“you’re breaking my heart, five star,” he sighed dramatically, clutching his chest. he dropped his body weight on yours, making you squeal and attempt to push him off. he laughed at your efforts. “be my girl?”

“on one condition.”

“anything.”

“let me hear the song.”

luke let out a full belly laugh, rolling over on the bed. he shook his head, biting his bottom lip. there was never a moment where he wasn’t on his toes when he was with you. he didn’t expect you to say that. you really were stubborn when it came to things you put your mind to. that fucking song. “no, i told you it’s not ready!”

you stuck your tongue out at him, “then no.”

luke’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as a goofy grin appeared on his face. he pulled you on his lap again, back pressed against his chest. he moved your hair to one side, kissing down the other side of your neck in soft, quick motions. he mumbled into your skin, “fine, but i’m following you around like a lost puppy. i’m yours.”

you sighed dreamily, reaching over to place a hand on his arm. you couldn’t help but make fun of him despite the butterflies in your stomach, “simp.”

you felt him nod against your body, “that’s me.”

“we really need to get out of bed.”

“five more minutes?”

it had been at least fifteen since he last asked for more time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. you gave in and got back under your covers with him. you let him be the small spoon this time, your arms wrapped around his toned back, smiling at the soft sighs that left his lips when you ran your fingers down his spine. he kissed your collarbones, face relaxing as sleep overtook him again.

you watched him fall asleep and reached for your phone, trying not to disturb his rest. you snapped a quick picture of him, smiling as you admired his features. you were falling for luke castellan.

#frances writes #poisoned mercury #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan x y/n #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson

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answer2jeff · 3 months

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not a lot, just forever.

carmen's opening up, but he wishes you'd do the same.

warnings: fluff + angst. fem!reader who is also a big reader (mostly poetry) and occasionally journals. unestablished relationship (friends to lovers, mutual pinning.) very touchy-feely. writing is overly detailed and so painfully poetic you might vomit.

word count : 2.4k

hey. i think i left my book at ur place. 11:15pm.

sorry, just got home. i can bring it over now 11:36pm.

oh yeah that'd be great! thank you. (sorry for the inconvenience) 11:38pm.

no worries 11:41pm.

lmk when ur here. xx 11:45pm.

Carmen had some idea of what that meant: xx. He knew what it meant when girls signed notes with xoxo in replacement of red kiss marks and strokes of long acrylic nails through their secret lovers hair—not that he ever received one, no. But your occasional visits practically felt just as intoxicating. If the order was x-o-x-o, and the worded statement being hugs-and-kisses, then xx must've been hugs, right? Two hugs. Like the one you shared the first time you met at Natalie's baby shower. He smelled like authentic Italian cologne with a hint of cigarette smoke diluted by dish soap and warm water. His grasp was hesitant, but ever-all-consuming once his shoulders relaxed. It was like metamorphosis. The way he wrapped his arms underneath while you tossed yours up around his neck, his gold chain feeling cold and hard against your skin, unlike the rest of him.

He was an under-hugger. He kept the ones he cared for unsuspectingly close to him. Such physical touch felt familiar. Maybe you'd just remembered stories and inside jokes about him through Natalie so well his tenderness and anxious nature was fitting to the idea of him you had in your head.

That was almost 6 months ago. And surprisingly, you'd become pretty good friends. Not that either of you really did friends at your age...but somehow it worked. You'd come to realize that he was so much kinder than anyone painted him out to be. And yet, you never really talked about yourselves.

Not in a way that really mattered, anyway.

The articles you'd written, the interviews you conducted with snobby assholes, the dozens of freelancing jobs with horrific schedules you had before, what you loved about writing and what you hated about the world around you—those were topics of discussion. Carmen's favorite restaurants he ever expanded his career with, the odd relationship he had with his sister that flipped like a rusty switch after highschool, candle scents he loved and bought over and over again despite their poor quality wicks, the first time he got drunk and how he swore he'd never let another drop of alcohol touch his tongue—those were normal methods of late night conversations.

But what about your dream to publish a novel? Or the memoir you read that completely changed your views on love as a whole. What about Carmen's uncle being his only friend his entire life? Oh, how he would've become a starving, broken artist if he ever believed he had enough talent for it. Hell, what about the girl you met in middle school who mysteriously moved away and shared all her secrets on the true meaning of life, death, and everything in between? Why didn't you ever talk about those things? Maybe it was too close, too personal. If he knew you too well, maybe he'd see you as you saw yourself.

Carmen had been thinking about those colored pencils you bought him for his birthday and can't get himself to tell you he uses them every day. Not just to illustrate his dishes...but you, sometimes. Your hair, your smile. He used that photo you begged him to snap of you staring out your window melodramatically with a bowl of pasta carbonara and a glass of bubbling champagne in front of you as reference. How could he ever show you the endless amount of pages containing the essence of your existence in that goddamn sketch book?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Thoughts of potential ate away at your patience with every pacing step you took around your bedroom.

Answers. Answers. Answers.

—

"Do people even have deep conversations over pasta and wine anymore?" You trace the pad of your middle finger against the rim of your glass, your elbow propped up on the counter so your chin can rest in your hand.

Carmen draws his eyebrows together, the little crinkle in his forehead showing. You glance up at it and struggle to stifle a growing smile. He cocks his head before barring his bottom lip behind his teeth, picking at the skin with the tips of his fingers. That signature pose; where his left arm is crossed against his chest and his hand holds the elbow of his right arm. It's a habit you almost immediately picked up on. It told you time and time again that he was nervous.

Thinking. Contemplating.

"Is that, like—" he breaths a chuckle, but it comes out more as an accidental huff than anything. Smug bastard, he is. Especially when he drags his gold chain across his neck as it loops around the finger that once picked at the dry skin of his mouth.

"Your way of..asking me for a deep conversation over wine and pasta?"

Ah. He's called you out. The one thing he couldn't shake was his annoyance when you were so completely and utterly vague about your wants, your needs, your desires. Hell, Carmen Berzatto would wrap a lasso around the moon, or any planet you put your claim on, and drag it down so it could be yours and only yours. Only if it meant you'd stop feeling so complacent. You knew this. At least to some extent. His little favors buttered you up until you a mushy mess of adoration. What really scratched at your urges and your patience was how blissfully unaware he was of his show of affection toward you. Part of you feared that if you ever told him how much it caressed that bruised, fruit fly infested, rotted spot of your heart so gently it felt like a kiss, despite the sting, he'd stop.

"Y'know what? Yeah. I'm asking."

You shrug your shoulders and stare down at your nearly finished bowl of penne with vodka sauce. Stabbing a stack of pasta onto your fork and the clinking sound of the metal banging against the ceramic bowl seemed to fill the silence before Carmen finally spoke again, though with much hesitation.

"Okay," he barely whispers, nodding his head and fumbling to take a seat in the barstool underneath the counter. Sitting across from you gives him the constant justification to just look at you.

Starting off this session with a question was quite a kicker.

"Y'know Sade Zabala? Author of that book you brought back for me."

Carmen blinks slowly. He pretends to dig deep in his memory to identify the name, wondering if you'd ever mentioned her. But he fails, pulling his lips taught, so as to say 'I've got nothin.' The sound of your dramatic sigh and the 'tsk' sound of your lips separating makes his palms sweat.

"She's a wonderful writer. A poet. I mean, really, her book Coffee and Cigarettes was one of the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and altruistic collections of.. of love, pain, rejuvenation—all of it."

If he was completely honest, he doesn't have a clear image of what those words meant. But it doesn't seem to matter what comes out of your mouth or how you phrase it. Your use of specific language fascinates him. There is nothing else he can do in this moment but nod and allow the corners of his lips to curl into a smile strong enough to make the apples of his cheeks go pink.

"I'll tell you one line of one of the greatest poems she had ever written in that book. In the humble opinion of yours truly, of course."

"Sure," he assures you. "Of course, of course."

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

Saliva pools in your mouth as you speak the quote, the taste of every vowel washing down your throat as if you dedicate them to Carmen himself. Which, in bare and naked truth, you do. The only thing you could ever ask of Carmen was to let himself tear himself open with the hope and belief that you would crawl into his fears and convert them into profound discoveries. And the trust that you would not stitch him up with your own hands, but rather clasp your fists around the circumference of his wrists as he carefully closes the wound his trajectory of life has created.

"Wow." Carmen's eyes go another centimeter wider, the language still processing in his mind. He interprets it over and over again.

"I know. And—" you set your fork down so you can have complete focus as you recite your following question, "I was just wondering what you'd say if someone told you that, y'know? What would you tell them?"

Vulnerability, he thinks. Fuck.

"I mean...fuck that's—that's a good question. Um.." he chews on the flesh of his bottom lip once again, looking above at the warm glow of the light that hangs over your island counter as if he'll find the answer up there.

"I don't even like the good stuff about me, so. I'm not sure how to, like, articulate that? Is that the word?"

Now the quickening pace has started.

"And what do you think the good stuff about you is?"

Probing questions like this are somewhat too-close-for-comfort inquiries for friends. But Carmen would be stupid to mind it. He relishes in it, actually. With much guilt. But it's tainted with the secret pleasure of being cared for by someone he so deeply valued the opinions and thoughts of.

Since the first day you met, Carmen knew he would never go to anyone else for some piece of mind. For some sanity. Or even just for someone to explain the method to his madness. You understood it—what he believed.

"I care a lot, I think. But that's not always practical. It hardly ever is now that I think about it."

"You do. You care so much." You soften your tone, hesitantly reaching for Carmen's tattooed hand that rests on the cold marble counter.

"Sometimes it freaks me out."

"Like, this whole thing, the—the restaurant, where my life is right now, it makes me crazy. But it also keeps me..."

"Human," you finish.

"Yeah, human."

Though it takes him a couple seconds for his digits to not second guess themselves, he gently takes your hand in his. The slow pace in which he intertwines his fingers with yours is enough to kill you.

"Can I tell you something?" Carmen asks.

"Anything."

"You take good care of me. Of everyone, really." . His thumb gently rubs your warm skin, the rough and calloused mounds over his fingerprints soothing you. A deep breath moves in and out from his lungs as he meets your eyes again. This time, he won't look away.

"It's like you were made to just be good."

You smile, but you're not convinced you're certain on what he means. "Thank you, Carm. But—good?"

"I don't know. You're warm. I'm—I'm not like that. I'm not warm."

This, this is where truths as bare as untraveled paws of loyal dogs that roamed the streets in search of security uncover themselves.

"What? Of course you are." You lean forward, feeling your heart pound so hard it could leap out of your body.

"I don't think I am."

To think—no, to know that Carmen Berzatto cannot share at least one feature of his layered soul he genuinely likes. God, that pains you. You could write a million sonnets listing every little thing you adored about your friend.

"Carmen, you—" you sigh, your head dropping for a fraction of a second. "You have such a big heart. You're not cold or...or out of reach, or anything like that, okay?"

Even with Carmen's tendency for rage and his tattoos that displayed yet another callback to his culinary career—his way of speaking: so gentle and unsupported, you're certain that he is something so much greater than just a chef. He took care of people too. His staff, his clientele, his family—of you. Whether it was home cooked meals when you were sick, or when you needed to complain about Natalie. Carmen listened. Not as her brother, but as your friend. You don't really remember when you started to regularly see each other during his leisure. Either at the restaurant, or a coffee shop next door to your complex, and eventually his living room.

"This is so fucking selfish, but—"

No, Carmen. You could never be selfish.

But you let him be hungry. You want him to be hungry. Starving for reassurance. Because you'll feed him until the empty space in his existence is filled.

"I just wish you'd look after yourself the way you take care of me. Like, fuck, hearing you look at yourself and point out all this shit that nobody notices—which I wish they fucking would—because I notice them and I still love those things about you is..."

Oh, what a beautiful mind you've always had. He'll always store all the love you can't have for yourself in his own heart. Your wit, your intelligence, your smile, even down to the way you have to readjust the grip of your fountain pen as you inscribe your thoughts into your journal

"Wrong." He completed his thought with just one word. "I don't like it. It makes me sad," he says again.

That breaks you. So much that a tear sure to be followed by many more wells up in your waterline. The glisten of the salty liquid in your eyes startles the wonderful man across you. You can see the immediate guilt in his face, his blue eyes filled with concern and regret. But you shake your head, holding onto his forearm as he raises his hand to your cheek to catch the falling tear. Fuck being friends. Fuck small talk. Fuck jokes and laughs and cigarettes and poor communication that just ended in silence.

This was here and now. There was no going back.

With that, you cupped Carmen's own cheek, leaning closer and closer to his lips before he desperately kissed you. His free hand anchored itself on your shoulder blade while yours crawled to the back of his head to burry itself in his golden curls. Your taste was everything. Salty with pasta with a sweet aftertaste that echoed from your fruity lip balm, followed by a final twinge of bitterness from your glass of red wine. He tasted of comfort, of acceptance, something you'd never felt against your tastebuds from the previous years of the dating pool. With every separation of your lips to swallow gasps of air, the further the two of you hovered over the counter in a needy attempt to get closer.

You didn't need answers. Not a lot from him either. Just him. Forever.

tags: @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria @diorrfairy

#carmen berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto blurb #this took way too long #writers block is really killing me #im running out of ideas

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xflixer7 · 5 months

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all of my yellowjacket headcannons (so far)

word count is like a trillion ok i’m not counting all this

lottie

she/her transfem! lesbian bottom (try to convince me otherwise)

-schizophrenic

-definitely has some type of ocd

-ptsd

started playing soccer when she was little

will actually go insane is you steal any of her clothes if you look at her she will actually be drooling with heart eyes

this girl is french and is HORRIBLE at it

plays piano

also knows violin because her parents made her take it doesn’t play is anymore though

lottie isn’t jealous but very protective of you

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-phoebe bridgers

-tv girl

-faye webster

-clairo

-#1 laufey fan on the world

unironically knows every katy perry song by heart because she used to be her favorite when she was little

her room is huge

likes putting her hair in pigtails

golden retriever girlfriend she’s so sweet to you and loves to spend time and money on you you guys always stay at her house would literally kiss the ground you walk on if you asked her too:((

also the worst cooker you ever met like how did you fuck up toast why is the smoke alarm going off??

favorite color is blue

lottie definitely has a hairstylist she goes too every month to get permed and there really close i can see her telling them about ALL the school drama

lottie wants write story’s when she’s older maybe romance or mystery idk but i can just imagine her having a typewriter and writing you story’s she has wanted to do it since she was a kid and is very passionate about it:((

what i think her favorite shows are:desperate housewives,american horror story,sailer moon

time burton enthusiast

so scared of horror movie like she will start crying

her favorite characters are:

-emily (corpse bride)

-bree (desperate housewives)

-starfire (teen titans)

always goes on and on about how she’s bubblegum and your marceline she LOVES adventure time

her favorite movie is bridge to terabithia

lotties favorite animal is a bunny and she really wants a pet bunny

BEGS you to give her your bra and your confused but you give it too her and she makes a bracelet out of it and wears it practically every day proudly

also think that lottie is a great artist? like sketching and painting wise

nat

SAY IT WITH ME transmasc! (he/they) definitely bi and a bottom why? because i say so

-depressed

-dyslexic

-ptsd

started playing soccer in middle school

LOVES christmas like has an unhealthy obsession with it

northern italian knows the launage pretty well also a great cook

wants to play electric guitar

his favorite (modern!) singers are

-tyler the creator

-radiohead

-alex g

-motley crue

-is so obsessed with mistki don’t even get me started

randomly painted his room black one day when he was bored

usually prefers his hair down

you give him haircuts he doesn’t trust anyone else someone definitely fucked up his hair once and he never went back

he’s stubborn black cat energy but he can be soft sometimes he hates being vulnerable around you

his favorite color is black or gray

just wants to be famous tbh but he wants to be in a band

what i think his favorite shows are:rick and morty,bojack horseman,shameless

LOVES horror movies and reality tv like 90 day fiancé and the kardashions

also likes claymation

his favorite characters are

-ash (fantastic mr fox)

-sidney (i am not ok with this)

-coraline (coraline)

his favorite movie is little miss sunshine

nat’s favorite animal is a panther he saw one in the jungle book when he was little and just thought it looked cool

always headcannoing characters as trans like finn from adventure time or jeff from clarence he’s so cute:((

nat skateboards too definitely not great at it but does it when he’s bored

jackie

(she/her) is just a bratty pillow princess lesbian you can’t fool me

-adhd asf

-neurodivergent for sure

-ptsd

started playing soccer because she was bored eighth grade tbh i don’t think she likes it as much as the others but she thinks it’s fun

always takes your hoodies fact

this girl is a vegetarian for sure

jackie is greek which is shocking to everyone

jackie is jealous always period

hey gays ass button ups bro

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-ariana grande her fav

-rihanna

-billie eilish

-harry styles

-lana del ray

pretty mainstream music taste

all pink room it’s very like coquette?

ponytail girl but also enjoys her hair down

is obsessed with you like unhealthy obsession always needs to be around you

favorite color is light pink duh

jackie gets perms so she really doesn’t care who does her hair

wants to be a makeup guiro or just stay at home honestly she hates working

what i think her favorite shows are:euphoria, grays anatomy,glee

i think she likes very drama files shows and will rant about tv show characters and there dynamics and why she think that there like that and etc for HOURS

ughhh jackie is such a girls girl like she is the friend who always has your back and has gum or a tampon for you she is the friend who would check you on your period

her favorite characters are:

-maddy (euphoria)

-regina (mean girls)

-amy (gone girl)

her favorite movie is DEFINITELY jennifer’s body

jackie is a cat lover and has 2 i can see her with a orange and a gray cat and they always fight

shauna

DEFINITELY bi (she/her) and i could see her as a switch?

-bipolar

-ptsd

joined soccer with jackie eighth grade

has like thousands of boxers

russian

knows how to play saxophone (she doesn’t even know how she learned she just did) she doesn’t own one though

so jealous but never says anything (this girl cannot communicate to save her life)

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-the cranberries

was so mad when they got popular on tiktok and had to let everyone know they where her fav since day 1 (everyone knew)

-suki waterhouse

-cigarettes after sex

-never got over halsey since 2017

-lady gaga

she honestly doesn’t care how her room looks but it’s never clean

doesn’t do anything with her hair really

writes you notes about how she appreciates you or how much she loves you cause it’s hard for her to tell you how she feels but she loves you so much:((

green is her favorite color

shauna’s hair may seem simple but she’s VERY picky about how it’s cut and is always worried there gonna cut it bad so she gets it cut like twice a year(she always ends up hating it)

she wants to be some sort of doctorate she’s fascinated by the human body so i can see her wanting to be a surgeon

what i think her favorite shows are:good girls, queens gambit,13 reasons why

her favorite characters are:

-velma (chicago)

-cassie (euphoria)

-susanna (girl interrupted)

her favorite movie is chicago (loves musicals)

a simple gal she really likes dogs

taissa

she/her lesbian switch

-ptsd

joined soccer in fifth grade

mixed (duh)

used to be in the marching band

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-bruno mars

(screams when i was your man and grenade in her car way too much)

-frank ocean

-post malone

(also screams his songs in the car)

-has a soft spot for shawn mendas has all of his albums

-really enjoys 60’s music so she really likes elvis

her room is pretty big too not huge on decorating

doesn’t care about hair like at all will wear a headband sometimes

a good girlfriend like if your cold she will give you her jacket type she has a temper never jealous either girlfriend material she’s the type you would want your kid to date y’know?

respectful to adults gets good grades and stuff

her favorite color is brown and everyone is like that’s weird and she is trying to convince them like “no guys it’s pretty hear me ou-“

cuts her own hair thinks it’s overpriced and dumb to have someone professionally do it

tai wants to be something important like president or some shit i can see her being a lawyer

what i think her favorite shows are:the umbrella academy,big mouth,skins

tai only watches skins and euphoria type shows because she loves the drama

her favorite characters:

-hermoine (harry potter)

-patrick (perks of being a wallflower)

-nadine (edge of seventeen)

her favorite movie is the 6th harry potter movie she also thinks it’s the most underrated

she likes tigers

van

she/her and lesbian switch

-anxiety

-ptsd

joined soccer in sixth grade

irish

plays the trumpet but is kinda embarrassed by it

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-nicki manaj

-fiona apple

-tori amos

-girl in red duh

-david bowie

-was ziggy stardust for halloween when she was 8

posters EVERYWHERE can’t convince me her room is not painted red

doesn’t care about hair either puts in a ponytail to keep it out of her face

is a great girlfriend all the same traits as taissa except not the best at school she’s honestly surprised she graduated

favorite color is red

her uncle cuts her hair for like five bucks out of his garage also i definitely think she used to have a bowl cut when she was little

doesn’t really care about money she just wants to be happy wants to own a record store or be a professional soccer player

speaking of records she definitely has a lot of collections like lowkey a hoarder…but her stuff is cool though! like funky pops hat wheels cd’s records etc

what i think her favorite shows are:beavis and butthead, avatar, south park

mostly likes adult animation

her favorite characters are:

-harley (suicide squad)

-ron (harry potter)

-beast boy (teen titans)

her favorite movie is the bee movie or lego batman there cinematic masterpieces

van likes pigeons for not particular reason she just thinks there funny looking

i can see van as a surfer too like her dad definitely is one also i can imagine her being really close with her dad and they have a local family business bakery:((

misty

she/her and idk her position or sexually like i genuinely have no idea

-autistic

-ptsd

always wanted to be on the team but knew she was bad at sports

german definitely

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-boy genius

-the beatles

-justin bieber

-pink

-melanie martenz is her favorite forever

light purple room has justin bieber posters everywhere

lowkey forgets she has hair whenever people comment on it she’s like “oh yeah!”

very obsessive of you and loves you almost too much sometimes you think it’s creepy but than your like “awww she’s so cute”

loves the color yellow

i can see her being a k-pop stan too

(her bias in bts is j-hope)

also is a famous editer on tiktok and no one knows😭her username is like “gxxbflix” or some shit

literally has had one haircut in her life like it never grows?

i see her as a pharmacist

what i think her favorite shows are:walking dead,mlp,monster high

i just think she really enjoys getting into all types of fandoms

has SO many online friends

definitely loves romance anime

plays clarinet

is in band

favorite characters:

-cruella (cruella)

-alice (alice in wonderland)

-edward (edward sciccor hands)

and mistys favorite movie is alice through the looking glass (because it shows the queen of hearts back story and misty loves her)

and misty likes birds duh

those are my headcannons for them i know it’s a lot but i’m obsessed ok send requests if you have any please

-🙈

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #lottie matthews #natalie scatorccio #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #taissa turner #van palmer #misty quigley #lottie matthews x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #jackie taylor x reader #shauna shipman x reader #wlw

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zy4nyaa · 5 months

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Random Chuuya headcanons

I honestly feel like he wouldn’t date anybody since he is in the mafia and he wouldn’t want anybody to be in danger because of that, he would probably date someone if they’re in the mafia with him

But if he were to date somebody then he would most definitely keep his eyes on his significant other, like he would stay loyal to that person and make them his top priority

Even though he is rich, I don’t think he would be buying unnecessary things, like I just feel like he wouldn’t go around buying hundreds of things just bc he’s rich

He has a YouTube channel of him doing skincare and hauls and a bunch of other stuff

He DEFINITELY knows how to cook and draw/paint😍😍

He hates when other people struggle, he feels like he struggled a lot and went through so much pain and he doesn’t want anybody else to experience that either. As soon as someone opens up to him he’s right by their side

Even after that if the person is doing fine he would still keep an eye out and look out for that person to make sure that they’re actually okay

He’s insecure about himself so he absolutely loves when other people compliment him even if it’s a small one

Even though he is insecure about himself people still come up with him, he doesn’t know how attractive he really is. He doesn’t realize when people are trying to flirt with him he just thinks they’re complimenting them or referring to something else

I feel like since he works at the mafia that he wakes up early for work, he either wakes up at 5:00 or 5:30. He is probably won’t get a chance to sleep sometimes since he works late

If you’re his lover, be prepared because you won’t really see him that much since he has a strict schedule and will mostly come home at midnight, even then he would still find time to spend with you

He has social media like TikTok and instagram but he doesn’t post that much, the least that he would post is a picture of wine on his story

I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel like he has Heterochromia since his eyes are blue in the anime but brown in the manga.

He knows multiple languages like Japanese, English, French, Italian, and Spanish. He is fluent in Japanese (obviously) and Spanish, probably French too because of Verlaine.

He also likes to curse in French

Sometimes he paints his nails red or black if he’s bored

He definitely has light freckles on his face that are too light to see, he also has 2-3 scars from fighting.

He probably has piercings like his lip or eyebrow, maybe even his nose

His style is soo good, I picture him most likely wearing black, red, gray, white, or just any colors that go good with each other.

Along with the hat and wine collection, he also loves to collect shoes and gloves although he will continue to wear the same pair of shoes and gloves even if he has hundreds of them in different colors

Whenever he tries to put his hair in a ponytail he can NEVER get it right, it’s either too far up, too far back, not straight, or there’s a huge lump

His hands are so freaking nice, and they are literally bigger than dazais (this isn’t a headcanon this is true look it up)

Absolutely LOVESS music, In my opinion I think he listens to a lot of bands and hard rock. He is over 10 hours on Spotify and has playlists for different purposes

If he has a crush and they mention their favorite music artist or song he will go home and listen to that all day

Whenever a person betrays him I feel like he wouldn’t hate that person completely, he would still care about them but not as much as he used to

He likes hot showers especially if he is stressed out, he loves the feeling of it on his scalp

He has a few bottles of cologne but he wears one specific one most of the time, it’s like his signature smell

Since he is insecure about his appearance he wears like makeup like concealer on his scars and marks

He likes to invite some of the other pm members to the bar every Friday if he has free time

There was one time where he got so sad to the point where he didn’t want to do anything, he didn’t feel like getting out of bed, eating, or cleaning his room

He did really well in school, he didn’t have a big friend group he really only had 2-3 close friends and the rest were people he just talks too

Everyday before going to work he looks in the mirror and winks at himself and does random cringey poses

If he catches you staying up too late on your phone he will snatch it away from you and cuddle you to sleep

He likes to buy his friends things, like if they’re at a coffee shop then he will buy them something or pay for their coffee

He would genuinely love his significant other a lot, he’d call them when he has time to at work and text them just to check up on them

He sometimes takes a trip to the store after work to buy unnecessary snacks that he won’t eat

He REALLY cares about his hygiene, he always smells good even without cologne. You will never catch this man stinking

He has a few posters of dogs on his wall, when he was OBSESSED with dogs he bought a lapel pin with a brown chihuahua on it and he would wear it to work every single day

His sleep schedule is kind of messed up since of his work but it’s not as bad as Dazai’s

His body is soo AJAKSSHSJHS like his waist is snatched and his legs are muscular like omg😍

He either types with a bunch of emojis or is just dry, it depends on the person because he could be like “Ok!😜💕❤️😘😁☺️😍🥳🐒🦅🎣😍📝” or he could be like “k”. It depends on his mood and who he’s texting

On mondays he would telll himself that he only has to make to Friday (he’s been telling himself that for years, he honestly never makes it to Friday)

That’s all for now but I will most likely be adding more headcanons to this list :D

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pascalcampion · 7 months

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Rene Gruau. Italian, 1909-2004

I’ve always been struck by this artist’s work His art is simple. There is way more unpainted surface in his work than anything else. Characters are mostly suggested. And then, there is this thick, lush black line. Not hidden at all. Not there to help the drawing, it IS the drawing. It is rough and unfinished in parts but makes no attempt at hiding itself, often the most important aspect of the image. I remember seeing the first image in this post when I was a kid, and being shocked at how clearly I understood this image, but except for the hand, there was NOTHING that I could learn how to draw. I was already interested in comics, telling stories visually at the time, and figured I needed to learn how to draw to get there. I was looking at art and trying to understand the thinking behind the choices. Sometimes I thought.. oh.. this is badly drawn, but I understand it, or, this is really well drawn but I don’t like it. And there was Gruau. Gorgeous, powerful art that I could not reverse engineer. I understood how it was done. I could probably identify each tool, the type of canvas. I could probably figure out the process, the brushstrokes even. But I couldn’t figure out HOW Gruau thought. What made him see a simple brushstroke and think“ THIS IS A HAT ON A HEAD”and make it feel expensive, luxurious and sensual.

It was monumental to me. It defied classification. I stopped trying to understand it and started appreciating the experience of the art. It is so unique, so powerfully confident in its statement of “ THIS is a fully finished painting. It needs nothing more, nothing less”

Later, I learned more about his life, his influences, Toulouse Lautrec, Mucha, The impressionists and have they were ALL influenced by Japanese print. ( I should do a series of post about that because the history of it is amazing). I also noticed a few comic book artists inspired by Gruau’s work. Some more than others. One of my favorites, Hugo Pratt definitely had a few looks at Gruau’s work. And, pushing it to more modern times, how today’s art is partially a response to Gruau’s and just about all forms of art that have come before. The idea of these connections is amazing to me.

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art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament · 9 months

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SET FOUR - ROUND ONE - MATCH EIGHT

"Fountain" (1917 - Marcel Duchamp) / "Judith Slaying Holofernes" (c. 1620 - Artemisia Gentileschi)

FOUNTAIN: I know, I know, if this was something you saw today in an art museum, it would be cliche and a little cringey, but this was not from 2023! Its from 1917, in France. In context, it is such a punk piece of work, such a fucking, fuck you to art elitism. While modern art movements were growing in Europe, France had a very real tension between older, traditional styles of art and the growing newer, less realistic and more abstract schools. There was a clear delineation between institutional traditional styles and the newer styles, whose artists were often working on the periphery or entirely outside of french art circles. So by putting this in a museum - saying yeah, this urinal is just as worthy as your shit to be here. Such a fuck you! It got rejected from several exhibitions for being "immoral and vulgar" and "a plagiarised object, or rather a commercial piece of plumbing art." And then the immoral, vulgar (and of course, why is this immoral or vulgar? and why are the objects of plumbers excluded from being art) piece got exhibited!

Our current understandings of art might not need this sort of philosophical challenge to "what is allowed to be art," but in 1917, the French art world definitely did (@travelingsmithy)

JUDITH SLAYING HOLOFERNES: This is one of my favorite Baroque/Renaissance paintings ever. First, it has that dynamic and theatrical lighting you get with Baroque pieces, where the background is dark and unimportant and the scene has very dramatic and intense lighting. Second, its so visceral, so violent in a way that women typically were not allowed to be in art. Judith is shown as powerful and strong, and its the same with her maidservant Abra (thanks wikipedia). Holofernes was clearly fighting back but was overcome by the two, there is blood splattered all over the bed, Judith has got her hands gripping his hair and just dragging the knife through his throat.

The context to the scene, is that this is retribution for Holofernes raping Judith, that she is getting her revenge and justice. She is a fully active participant, this is her decision and action, and its just so clear in the painting. For reference, this is Carvaggio's version and it is so different. There is a distance and fakeness to the scene, where the women are timid and almost uninvolved in the violence. Here that could not be less of the case. Judith and Abra are fully in the scene, with the strain of the murder clearly showing in their figures. It is such a far cry from the typical depiction of women in this era of art, from their form to their expressions to their actions. There's a level of personhood that is typically denied to women that is present here, the painter allowing the figures to be present in the violence of the scene, to be full actors and perpetrators, knowledgeable and determined.

On its own, it stands as an incredibly evocative piece of art. In comparison to other takes on this same scene, it completely rises above the rest (@travelingsmithy)

("Fountain" is a sculpture by French artist Duchamp that consists of a porcelain urinal signed "R. Mutt". The original was lost, but about 15 replicas exist worldwide.

"Judith Slaying Holofernes" is an oil on canvas painting by Italian artist Artemisia Gentileschi. It measures 6′ 6″ x 5′ 4″ (158.8 cm × 125.5 cm) and is located in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence.)

#art that fucks you up tournament #polls #atfyu polls #id in alt text #one of our most popular submissions #can't wait to see the comments on this one #also just remember that more commentary will be cycled into the next round!#cw blood #cw gore #cw eye contact

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