#they’re fucking GOD TIER. ugh im never getting over it!!!!!!!!!!

[petruchio]

literally any time i read anything on narrative construction im like oh yeah a perfect example of this is how the hunger games does it. like a good story should answer the question of “what does the character want and why can’t they have it” like well katniss wants to save prim and she can’t have it bc the conditions of the oppressive regime make that imposible no matter how much the stakes keep getting raised and that’s the central question the entire trilogy is concerned with and it’s the driving force for every single one of her actions. easy! and perfect. it’s the first line of the book. it’s flawless.

#it’s like how any kind of analysis on mystery construction #can be mapped onto the first three harry potter novels. #like are they great fantasy? debatable. but they’re great mysteries. #the hunger games is just a master class in narrative and suspense and character like god it’s the perfect series #and like few people (outside me and the mutuals) i feel like really Get that #like people are like ‘they’re such good books!’ #and it’s like yeah but they’re THAT GOOD. like they’re not just fun kids books #they’re fucking GOD TIER. ugh im never getting over it!!!!!!!!!! #caroline speaks

[linoshan]

DISTRICT 8

series

warnings: suggestive, violent themes, blood

“no entry other than the person concerned, this is the back door”

-

CHAN

tier 1

leader, royalty born, one of the twins

district 6 calling...

“chan! the council is calling, it seems urgent”, changbin yells, pointing at the tv monitor.

chan rolls his eyes, not even glancing his way. “tell them i’m busy” he deadpans, shaking his head as he refocuses back on his game of 8ball with felix.

“you should probably talk to them, you know how mad that wonpil guy gets when you ignore his orders”, felix states as he takes his shot, missing completely. 

chan chuckles.

he takes his cue and walks around the table, finding an angle. he leans down, focusing as he aims for the 8ball.

“..yes sir i understand, but he’s busy and-”

“seo, i see him right behind you”. changbin freezes, then sighs in defeat, moving out of the monitors frame to reveal a not-very-busy chan.

“MR BANG! WE NEED TO TALK! what you did last week was completely out of hand. the districts are a secrecy, it’s risky to act withou-”

clink!

the sound of the cue hitting the ball fills the room.

the 8ball goes in and chan smirks, finally looking up.

“you see. i completely understand that. but quite frankly.. i don’t care.”

-

FELIX

tier 2

the twins’ childhood family friend.

“what in the world happened here?” felix questions with disgust, walking around the half dozen people who are either unconscious or dead.

chan and ryujin laugh, both wiping the blood off of their favorite knives.

felix shivers at the sight. although he grew up with them, he still couldn’t bring himself to get used to the odd behavior of those two.

“what are you doing here lix”, ryujin smiles. “need something?”

“no,” felix says, still feeling disturbed. “i uh, brought cookies. i made them today because i had extra time and i-”

“chocolate chip?” chan interrupts.

“well duh what els-”

“YES!” chan exclaims, jumping up and walking right on the bodies as if they weren’t there.

felixs mouth drops. “oh my god dude.. really?!” he says in horror.

chan shrugs. “what?” he asks as felix shakes his head vigorously. chan reaches for the tin. “give me the cooki-”

“no!” felix says as he retracts it and holds it tightly to his chest. “you don’t deserve it, you.. you- ugh!”

ryujin bursts out laughing.

“what the fuck? you offered me cookies 10 seconds ago and now you’re not. i don’t get it” chan says, completely unaware of his actions.

felix stares at him with his lips parted, slowly shaking his head from side to side.

“i seriously don’t know how we’ve been friends for this long”. 

-

CHANGBIN

tier 2

chans lead man, family friends with royal family.

“the all mighty bang chan. the one they all fear. the son of the failure of a mafia leader,” the man tsked, “-right here, in front of me, wincing in pain” he laughs, turning around as if he’s going to walk away, but instead returns and lands another blow on chans jawline.

“like cmon! what is everyone so afraid of with you?” the man raises his arms in exaggerated disbelief. “what? should i bow?..” he stops to get on one knee “oh king i bow bef-”.

the sound of screaming behind him cuts him off. he turns his head to be met with a leather boot, completely knocking him out.

“took you long enough” chan said, immediately untying himself from the chair. “you know if you weren’t so hard headed, i wouldn’t have to go this far to get you out of the mansion” he says, rubbing his wrists from how previously tight the rope was.

changbin rolls his eyes. “when are you going to stop bothering me on saturday nights? we do violence shit all week. the least you could do is give me ONE night to relax”.

-

MINHO

tier 2

recruited assassin.

“stay away from her, this is your final warning” chan says, poking minhos chest before walking away.

“no”

chan halts his movements, turning around slowly.

“what did you say?” he says through his teeth, cocking his head to the side in disbelief. no one says no to chan, let alone look in his eyes without shivering in fear.

“i said no,” minho shrugs, unfolding his crossed arms and walking over to where chan stood. “your sister is her own person, she decides who she wants to be with for herself,” he says, smirking before continuing, “and by the way, she told me to tell you something if you tried to pull something like this”.

chan furrows his eyebrows, feeling his blood boil.

“she said,” he chuckles. “either you fuck off, or i fuck him”

“who do you think you ar-”

“however!” he cuts in, grinning.

“it’s a little too late for that proposition though, ain’t it?”.

-

HYUNJIN

tier 2

goodfella

( n; a gangster, member of a Mafia family.)

“hyunjin, you have 4 dead bodies around you right now and what you’re concerned about is the blood stain on your coat?”

“its about to be 5 if you don’t shut up. now hand over the stain remover stick.”

-

SEUNGMIN

tier 3 (by choice)

royalty born, cousin to the twins.

“cmon seungmin. we need your help for this one”, changbin says as he stands in the doorway of seungmins room.

“im sure chan can handle it” he says, not looking up from his book.

changbin rolls his eyes, moving to sit on his bed. seungmin furrows his eyebrows at the action.

“your cousin is stubborn. he just wants to act on it but we don’t even know the exact location, how much men are gonna be there, if they’re armed-”

“ok? why are you telling me this. i don’t care. i already told everyone im not about this kind of life”. seungmin says, taking off his round glasses in frustration.

“i know you aren’t. but we really need you for this one. we’re bringing the rookies for this job and i wouldn’t want them to go in blind like this”, changbin sighs.

he hands an ipad over to seungmin. “heres all the info we have about this gang. help us out. please”.

seungmins face softens at the sound of his plead.

great. now he feels guilty.

“fuck”. he groans, taking the ipad from the mans hand as he reaches back for his glasses. he puts them on and quickly swipes through the leads and notes taken by watchmen.

after a minute, changbin slowly stands up.

“thank you. i appreciate this a lot, we all do, especially the twins.. even if they don’t show it”. he looks up to see seungmin not listening, eyes glued to the screen. he sighs with a nod at the sight. “ok, just call me when your done, i’ll be in the-”

“monday, bayside harbor. at exactly 9:34pm. when you get there, there will be 6 guards at the east gate and 4 men by the pier. a shipment is coming in. lethal weapons. make sure they don’t leave with them, it’s most likely going to be used against us”. seungmin says, handing the ipad back over. “now leave. close the door behind you”.

-

JEONGIN

tier 3

just discovered as part of the royal family. clueless to his importance.

*at shipment dock

“yeah. its settled, the tier 3′s and rookies are transferring the weapons to our carrier now”, changbin says to chan on the phone as he looks around the area.

jeongin sighs, turning to jisung. “i can’t wait till i tier up. im getting tired of just transferring heavy boxes from one truck to another” he huffs.

“dude id rather be here then out with 2′s killing people everyday” jisung says, scrunching up his face. “plus.. usually ryujin comes and brings the district 5 girls to transfer locations to overlook everything. thats a win-win to me” jisung grins.

“district 5 girls?” jeongin asks.

jisung mouth drops open. “you’ve never met the district 5 girls? they’re so hot bro”.

jeongin shakes his head, continuing doing his job. “no i haven’t. but i know it’s in the rules that we shouldn’t-”

“hey boys”, yuna interrupts, a smirk evident in her voice.

jeongin turns to where the sound came from, dropping his box at the sight.

-

JISUNG

rookie

unexperienced, mysteriously recruited by chan himself

“why the fuck are there so much rules anyway? fuck the rules! aren’t we like the rebellious criminals of society?? what kind of cool badass criminal follows rules. rules are stupid. rules are pointle-”

“you do understand the serious circumstances you’re under to be here? all these rules are here to protect our circle. if you don’t want to follow the rules then fine. but that’s your fate, not mine or my families.” chan says with all seriousness.

jisung sighs.

“can you stop speaking so medieval? this is a MAFIA not ancient rome”.

“

#stray kids #stray kids angst #mafia! skz #stray kids smut #skz #skz au #stray kids au #kpop au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #bangchan #yang jeongin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee minho #lee know #lee felix #seo changbin #kim seungmin

[sothischickshe]

fave line game

RULES: share your favourite sentence/paragraph from each one of your fics and tag 6 other fic writers to do it too :)

TAGGED by: some very mean ppl! what the FUCK why would you do this?! this question is SO HARD!!?!?!?! @septiembrre @inyoursheets @mego42 @riosnecktattoo

TAGGING: this is such a mean q, i dont know that i can in good conscience foist it upon another human being so extremely v much no pressure but i taggeth @yellowhammerga @peachraindrops @adecila @ejunkiet @lewraea @kenrune which i think is 6 (?) n if youve done it already whoops n also that means u HAVE to go find it n tag me in it so i can see!!! ty!!!

...SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT THE FU!!CK, WHY WOULD U ASK THIS JESUS

just thinking abt working out what they’re all called is making me want to go have a nap

ok fuck it let’s go:

The Good Kind:

maybe ‘Or maybe he’s just curious to find out how far he can push her? Beth’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to know the answer to that last question, she’s scared to find out that the answer might be to anywhere.’

(i maintain that if you assume beth had semi public phone sex with rio somewhere btwn leaving his place & the kidnapping, the s2 finale makes more sense)

yourself and others:

mm, ‘When he didn’t flinch at Beth’s surprisingly competent velociraptor impression coming out of nowhere, even Ruby had to admit that she was impressed with Stan’s performance.’    

(this is tough for a number of reasons inc. this is the longest one + i love a lot of the dynamics in it, but ultimately: beth puts stan in liar bootcamp is a god tier trope & unrelatedly i definitely understand what a trope is yuh huh)

Even the best laid plans:

ha ‘She started chanting a long ass litany of ‘no’s, like she’d been listening to too much early Destiny’s Child and couldn’t get the song out her head.’

(4eva bless the set designer or whoever decided on the vinyl, without whom this fic wouldnt be)

Bringing down the neighbourhood:

!  “Only dangerous if you fuck it up.”

(the GALL)

Uncontrollable notes, from her snowy white throat:

mmmm: His mouth hung open when she added, “And you’re the… miscreant who doesn’t seem to care about his fines.”

(brio + roleplay is a god tier trope)

People can be so cold:

i think: ‘Rustles sound out as he pushes his skull around, carving out previous comforts.’

(i like the phrasing and the ambiguity)

What a sight to see:

probs: ‘Rio's never been so turned on, yet so terrified off the vaguest prospect of a blowjob, at the same fucking time.’

(he’s valid!!)

Through the park and by the tree:

oof idk, maaaaybe ‘She acts fast, pulling an Annie on the originator of that trick – bamboozling and barraging with a thousand and one questions, using her forward momentum to encourage her sister into the kitchen.’

(this fic is SO self-indulgent and i love it haha)

Climbing up the walls:

ha ‘The number of people he’s fucked then shot is zero, which has to be the kinda respectable, solid ratio a person was aiming for.’

(i have slowly come around to the idea that this story is also funny)

A time to refrain (from embracing):

i suppose: ‘It’s not real, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.‘

(i love it as an opening line for this type of story. it’s actually snipped from an original ficton thing which ive returned to a lot over the years, most of which isnt written down, and i ended up using it here but like...i feel like that doesn’t mean i can’t also use it there too!)

Maybe it’s something in the water:

perhaps:  She shuffles closer, towards one of his ears, to quietly grit out, “I do not want to pee on, or ugh, be peed on–”

(it’s like the crux of the thing, which is pretty silly, but it cheered me up when i was in need of cheering!)

a time to every purpose (under heaven):

ahhh: “I want to.”

(the joke is, rio mishears/mistakes ‘i want, too’ as i want to’, and it just makes me cackle in context)

It’s a dirty, dirty game but (you should’ve called before you came):

im gonna go: ‘Jane asks if Ruby’s her wife, making Beth realise that – shit, her kids haven’t seen Stan for a while.‘

(yes im picking this over ‘i’d know’... i just love it a lot)

waiting for someone who needs me:

hmph, perhaps: ‘The corners of his mouth become curlicues.‘

(writing antiquing beth pov was a lot of fun!)

(a) time to kill:

oh i know this one!!!! ‘He’s just coaxing the thing off her shoulders, when Mick says, “Howdy.”‘

(ok i didnt need to reread this one to work that out haha, but i had fun anyway!)

found my thrill:

im gonna pick:  ‘That duo are like a set of eyeballs, Jimmy decides, resting in the ridged sockets of the selfsame skull.’

(writing turner as fascinated but disgusted by beth + rio was a lot of fun!)

do you like drugs (tonight):

gah! mebbe ‘Of course the man who constantly dares people to shoot him taunts kitchen appliances to damage in similar fashion.’

(rio/bacon is the ship of ships)

Filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake:

praps: ‘He gets her broadly appeased, agreeing to an inn instead – because she clearly can’t imagine any version of herself that isn’t pedantic as all fuck.’

(i maintain brio + roleplay = god tier trope)

around here we say birds not bitches:

hmmmmmmm, perchance:  ‘How his focus clung like wrapping-saran, swept her under its spell; how good it felt to be the centre of his attention.’

(i wanted the pov to feel off & pay off the reveal/reward rereading, without tipping it too obvious, so there’s a lot of double speak/stuff that applies to both povs, as well as weaponised britishisms & stumbling over americanisms like panties, movie theatre and saran wrap...i was perhaps having too much fun haha)

upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life:

oh gosh! strong argument for it being:  “I’ll call Three Star, okay?”

(beth like demoting a star off dean’s workplace is extremely funny to me ha)

-

........okay, while i still feel like this is an impossibly difficult question, it was delightful having a reason to read them all in a row so ty <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #rereading yourself and others made me want to write a fic where beth and stan start a piano school haha #im not gonna #but someone should!!! #also i'd totally forgotten abt the beth n rio are evil capitalists thread to the genie au afhgfhtt #omg this was SO hard haha #i posted an entire story since starting to answer this and had to add it gaaah #but it was v fun in the end <3 #<3 #but now i think i need another nap ha #and im extremely excited to read something by someone who is not me my goshhhh #(i did try to stick to the sentence interpretation but i fell at the first one haha whooops) #(also i can't believe you guys think it's acceptable to give me homework haha #so rude #you couldnt pay me to be a student again haaa) #245727 words i read for you apparently! no wonder im tired hahaha #something

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

#Anonymous #txt #the foxes #im talkin #my posts

[wherearemyglassesbro]

concept: supernatural fruk, where both france AND england are vampires/werewolves/etc, but neither has told the other one, and the entire AU is just the two of them awkwardly trying to hide their secret identity from the other with increasingly awkward and elaborate excuses

Skalosjdiaiushs you...Have god tier ideas

It starts off kinda casual cause they’re not that serious yet y’know? It’s not a big deal, they can cancel plans to howl at the moon or bleed a virgin dry wothout the other getting suspicious and it’s really no big deal

But as they become Lovers For Real™ it gets increasingly harder to hide stuff from eachother

Art’s always over at Fran’s house cause the bastard doesn’t want to leave the house because of his complexion, stupid frog! >:( he isn’t even awake during the day really cause he had narcolepsy >:( But he does cook a fantastic beef stew so he’ll let it slide

Francis, on the other hand, has to vaccum an obscene amount after Arthur leaves. It’s like he’s shedding everywhere! And all he ever wants to eat is fuckin meat...Fran can’t taste...But hes an okay cook, he’s been up in here for over a century now, he can make food!

“Ew...Whats all over your sweater?” “...Fur” “From what..?” “I have a dog” “Arthur you’re covered in hair that’s gross!” “I...Have a very...big dog..?”

And Francis can’t taste cause he’s...Dead. They’ll be eating and he’ll make a face cause human food is Not Fun to eat “Whats the matter?” “Hm?” “You look miserable, I thought you loved casserole?” “I do I’m just...savoring the taste...?” “What’s the matter with your teeth?” “What?” “Your teeth...Guess I never noticed how pointy they were...” “I have a dental condition called erect teeth how dare you bring up my insecurities :(“

They’re very reluctant to live together but they do it so they don’t raise suspicion. Fran starts going on ‘bar trips’ a few times a week and Arthur goes on ‘business trips’ once a month and FINALLY Art decides to stay up and wait for his stupid boyfriend to get home cause he’s CONVINCED that he’s cheating on him!

^^He has a whole speech planned and he’s gonna kill him with words but then Francis walks in at 3am, fuckin covered in blood and Arthur just straight up passes out while Fran’s there like :0

“Did you kill someone?” “Well...technically no” “It’s a yes or no question, Francis!” “IM A BUTCHER” ????

Now he’s gotta pretend to be a nighttime butcher oh god oh no how is he gonna keep this act up oh god he’s never even seen butcher before!

Arthur comes home with hella ripped clothes one night and Fran’s just watching Golden Girls and- What the fuck???

“I can explain!!!” “You better explain, Arthur!” “I was mugged!” “...By horny robbers?” “...Yes..?”

Finally after they’ve exhausted every excuse under the SUN

“I slept with a dog”

“The bag of ‘blood’ is actually a new flavor of kombucha, dont be uncultured”

“I shaved my chest for my OWN enjoyment!”

“I don’t like mirrors because I don’t need inanimate objects telling me I’m pretty”

“Howling? I didn’t hear howling, I heard military helicopters”

“You must have been seeing things, cher, there was never a dead woman in the basement! And even if there was, just let her be!”

Finally they can’t fuckin take it anymore and just shout at eachother “IM A VAMPIRE UGH” “WAIT, SHIT YOU ARE?? IM A WEREWOLF!!” “WHAT!??”

#this is very rambly #but I hope its readable lmao #I got excited and forgot what formatting was AHHHHH #the way this is formatted makes me wanna hurl but we’re posting it anyway 🥴 #aph #hetalia #ask away! #headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #always up for hc requests #aph france #aph england #hws england #hws france #fruk #ukfr

[bramblepaws]

the Last of the Candy....

the Vriska (Vriska) conversation was interesting but it also threw into sharp relief the fact that (Vriska) is still a literal teenager and just had sex with a literal middle-aged clown so, homestuck is fucking canceled actually, 

oh word. also i really like Vriska’s typing quirk because she types like a millennial :/

also the vrisrezi content is .. good

im gonna be that bitch but haha i found a typo

im enjoying roxy telling john that he’s an idiot and she could fuck up her own life just fine, thanks very much, because mood. but im also glad to hear she likes it? im tired. but im glad roxy feels real again. but i still don’t know what the Fucke is going on

THIS feels right. this feels good. he hasn’t, and it’s been weird that the epilogue has been treating john as “the main character.” he’s never been the main character! just the first one. 

ugh but i hate that! i want life to make sense! i want there to be narrative beats that we can follow and fall into! i want to know what the fuck is going on so i can take the next step. why ISNT life like a video game, where the next quest is a bullet-point on the map and the parameters are outlined for you to follow. I want to be able to choose but I want to know where i’m going. you know? 

hm. this is a good point and i am glad it’s gearing towards this. 

i like this. also really enjoying the mulling she’s doing over gender. feels good feels organic.

i want to take this to heart but i’m. Resisting. how does hussie know my age. is he among us? how does he know us so well............. Hussie If You’re Reading This--

good..........

aw man now we’re in DaveJade land. i think the biggest thing i ache for with how they turned out in this timeline is that... their friendship.. just got crushed under the heel of whatever the romantic relationship is. they were so good as friends. i miss just seeing them interact as friends. 

oh shit i can’t believe Obama is a hope player

aw man of all the people that have to worry about selves i wish dave wasn’t one of them. he’s done that enough. 

first: i see it. i see the image of hologram obama doing this. hussie truly is a master of words. 

second: i know literally a BUNCH of the cast is bi already and this makes the most sense for Dave as a character, but i am still a bit... sad. disappointed? i wanted dave to be bi so, so badly. i wanted him to be bi and STILL be in love with Karkat and not be in love with Jade. i wanted him to not be in love with Jade because he wasn’t in love with jade and was actually in love with karkat, not because he doesn’t like women. blows air out my nose. i dunno. 

holy shit

m...mistew pwesident??

DID DIRK AND MR OBAMA FUCK:?!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

oh okay so Rose was collapsing under the stresses of the ultimate self when we first started out, but she gave up her ultimate self when John chose candy. ok. 

also this feels like... God Tier Squared. also obama is there. 

i do still very much enjoy aradia, though she has felt a tad “off” during this session as well. a parody of herself, almost? maybe? just like... Her Traits But.. from the past & repeated. maybe that’s just because she didn’t say very much up til now though

hmmm okay so this is going to be something about the changing of the medium and the Narrative? also it is interesting to compare them, honestly, because when Not Jade says it, it becomes something... not UNTRUE, but LESS true. when the objective narrative says something, it is 100% factual. i think it’s going to be interesting to go from candy to meat... since from my skim-through of meat there’s a lot of narrative that ISN’T objective, it’s still being told by the characters. but if it’s being told by a character, that DOES change the level of truth... to something. LESS true. 

also Not Jade’s right, i haven’t been paying attention to the differences until she asked us to. generally i think my personal subconscious understanding of the differences would be.... the characters are telling me things that i have to sift through and lift meaning of, and the narrator is telling me The Meaning as well as the objective truth of events that are happening. characters slant it. the narrative slants it in a way that’s more purposeful? but no, that doesn’t even make sense, because of course the narrative is implied to be “in charge” of the characters speaking as well. so both have a similar PURPOSE. it’s just in how we sift the meaning out. hmmm. i have to think on this more. 

“almost like one of your own thoughts speaking to you” implies something along the lines of... the narrative has more ability to get through our natural safeguards against some level of influence? because if a character is saying something, we’re going to interpret the meaning and the intent through the lens of how we feel about the character. like i have some animosity towards not-jade, but i feel she is presented as being wise and generally well-intentioned, so i’m open to hearing this. i ALSO feel as though she’s being used as a voice for the narrative at the moment, so i’m taking her words at face value. 

with gamzee, on the other hand, and with all of his “redemption arc” stuff, there was a VERY different interpretation. because the things about redemption were coming through him, i interpreted the narrative as using him to be facetious about redemption arcs in general. gamzee was portrayed as an absurd character both in the canon and in the epilogue, and that paired with the emptiness of his words about redemption led to... me not taking his literal words as a message of the narrative. it was a joke, which meant that the Redemption Arc is something that the narrative thinks gamzee doesn’t deserve, and possibly something that the narrative thinks is impractical and empty. 

so. not-jade might be making a point about how the narrative uses characters to communicate aspects of itself in different ways? and how the narrative itself is a step outside of that, and we just take what it says at face value. at least, more at face value than any of the character dialogue. 

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... so now ... we are talking about the choice to make homestuck a mostly character-voice-based medium? 

yes..... this is good and interesting. and interesting in that it paints a clear picture of the fact that even the narrative has an agenda, we’re just.. not conscious of it in the same way. 

(also if you can’t tell im REALLY enjoying this section, i love theoretical meta bullshit like this)

yeah exactly! but then pointing this out makes you want to look over the whole thing and wonder what the intent was. Hussie, what was your intent?

hmmmmmm.......

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM INTERESTING

are the two timelines going to converge? i actually don’t even kno if dirk is like alive by the end of the other one but i gotta ASSUME he is. since i’ve seen people talking about him being The Big Bad. also it’s interesting that.. the post-scratch kids are. the ones that are like The Villains. why not Jade? why not Rose? does it have something to do with how late in the game we met them, or is it more that they’re the ones that still had hugely open-ended character arcs? rose and jade got their chances to be evil? it’s been too long since i read homestuck, i don’t even remember where any of them were by the end. 

#text #hs ramblings #epilogue liveblog #homestuck

[hiraethstill]

THIS WEEK AND LAST WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (7/16 and 7/23)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

7/16 LIVEBLOG:

IMMEDIATE assault by eijun's handsome face

and his DETERMINATION

every time the OP comes on im like where are the babies? THERE THEY ARE @ firsties

the way i GASPED

THIS IS HOW WE FELL IN LOVE WITH EIJUN I TELL YOU

haha poor audience member doesnt know sawamura is mostly good at swinging from the bunt stance

eijun... you have every right to be frustrated

ugh... the way he looks when he was a doormat to the ace... i feel this too much my chest hurts

"if i had pitched like furuya did today i wouldve been subbed out" TOO TRUE AND OUCH

HE HITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

THE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGENDDD

AND JUST LOOK AT ASADA AND KUKI'S F A C E S

DOUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

lmao did eijun learn to run bases from mochi? now i want this

uhhh the announcer was wrong? the STANDS were all cheering and happy, it was mostly the dugout that was surprised

bc this is level of trust he gets from first string sigh

sorry all my frustration is here

HAHA OKAY BUT why does this look gayalso sawamura's little "na!" with the pew pew is so cute wtf

his lil cheeky face in the corner im hashjdlkdgj

haruichi and toujou in that shot look like they'd been helping him practice batting and it paid off 

hslkhg eijun and his "hips!" i cant

KANEMARUUUUUUUUU

HELL YEAH TAKUMI NICE SHOULDER

nice eijun is safe

haha i never know who to root for bc i love all the bois

okay but

has anyone ever talked about how cool amahisa's eyes are???

i mean

look at this

so cool

yoooo wtf amahisa's voice in this part is really appealing??? damnn

so... kanemaru's a capable batter even if he's not top tier, why you gotta keep making him bunt

oh well, i like that face you're making kanemaru

noooooooooooo

it's okay kanemaru you did your best

cmon mochi bring him home!!!!!!!!!!

EIJUN ENOUGH WITH THE HIPS LMAO

yeah thats right mochi + other batters, give him the run support he deserves

AMAHISA THE DISASTER BI IM

"did he shave his eyebrows? he looks like a strong fighter" are you just checking him out

you'd want him to do those jump kicks amahisa

moon-face?????

omg i feel the tinglings... of a rarepair... amakura.....................

what was i saying about his EYES??

come the fuck ON dont leave eijun stranded on second!!!!!!

H

HHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY BOISSSSSSSSSSS

SHOW ME YOUR FACEEE

(and u rite yall amahisa is yabai)

THERE BE YOUR FACEEEE

IM SO EMOTIONAL

AND HIS VOICE

FUCKLE

AND HIMSTDVEEE

whoaaa that slowmo pitching sequence!

HARUCCHIII

oh hello eijun upping the tempo and looking great doing it

wow this super HD sparkle miyuki

EIJUN IS BEAUTIFULLLL and lowkey this looks like the OP

ASADA AND KUKI MY SONS I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE CUTTER KAI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I ALSO LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HLKDHFS AURA

okay sun we gettin a lil cap happy

another pretty eijun shottttt

WHOA 3D BALL

3D SLOWMO BALL

N* H* TT * R

i feel like i jinxed him sorry eijun

also i LOVE when the stands yell OSH OSH OSH back

wow toujou's voice was. so cute??

noriiiii i love you so much and thank you

furuya silently reflecting huh?

YO WTF IN THE MANGA NORI'S CAP COVERS FURUYA'S NUMBER WTF ANIMATORS ITS ICONIC

awww theyre all patting him i wanna pat eijun too

NORIIIIII YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS

kanemaru's eyes are gray??

kousei-san.......... mayhaps i have.......... Feelings about this

"gureato" man tahara is great

HLJSKDFHKGSFJGKFHDGLDF BLONDE AMAHISA

THIS IS JUST FUELING MY AMAKURA LMAOOO

WHY IS BLONDE HAIR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL A RUNNING JOKE IN ANIME

kuramochi, amahisa, hyuuga from knb, alla dem yankees

oh my god is that suddenly shaved head amahisa still in first year he's so smol

wow kousei is so eccentric haha i love it

YESSS BRINGING BACK MANAKA-BOY

omg yakushi cameo!!

wow this is so pleasant to look at and idk why??

his eyeeesss

and this too omgg

I SEE NISHINO

omgggg are they who i think they are

YES THEY AREANIMATORS REALLY BE FEEDING ME TODAY

sorry mimei that was too much tension in a single glance not to be homoerotic

go shirasu-senpai!

wellll shit, rip zono and rip seidou

142 pitches???????? are they throwing out amahisa's arm imma fight

YO OKAY BUT DOES THIS MEAN INAJITSU VS ICHIDAI

"that wouldnt be any fun" uh you do realize you're talking about a person's physical health right audience member???

the. ace. is. not. the. only. player.

its okay this is the peanut gallery they dont matter in the long run

omg are the first years wearing their school uniform slacks

AWWWW TAKU OFFERED TO CARRY SAWAMURA'S BAG

taku always worried about everyone and sawamura looking rather nice actually

HLJSKFDHGD AMAHISA'S FACE LIGHTING UP AT EIJUN

omg was that a little bow eijun made at amahisa before moving on?

"something i want to ask you" are you boutta ask him out amahisa

im sorry i love eyes too much

and also! eijun getting the recognition he deserves!! buuuut from another team rip

cmon eijun he's trying to be nice tbh

lmao koushuu and shirakawa should meet... resting bitch face club 

"i've never seen kousei-san take interest in another pitcher" THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO UNPACK IN THIS STATEMENT

LMAO HE DID HE DID ASK FOR HIS LINE

my sonsssss

yes asada and kuki, be free! go move around!

asdkfh i just squee every time taku

and these lines on koushuu look so nice??

intense son

scremmm

he's so happy and fired up to see koushuu fired up im

wholeass Sons™

lmao koushuu getting mad for sawamura

my inexperience... yes kataoka

teito and inajitsu coaches lmao

500K rivals to fwb to lovers

ive always thought kunitomo's neck crack is so funny

UHHHHH CARLOSHIRA REALLY TOYING WITH MY HEART HERE

THIS IS NOT OKAY

IM NOT OKAY

mochi looking mighty fine in this shot

aw... ejun sitting alone....

just wanna say oda and kuroki very lesbian in the ED

preview

ooh mei batting

sawamura and furuya watching so intently!!

INUI KENGOOOOOO

aw... eijun turning to harucchi for support

oh man third years...

SUMMARY (7/16):

eijun DOUBLES!! 

rip seidou tho 

amahisa's eyes??? pretty??? 

ATTACC BY INAJITSU CAMEO 

taku offering to carry eijun's bag + serious senpai face 

careful amahisa your gay is showing 

koushuu mad on eijun's behalf lmao

inajitsu vs teito next!

7/23 LIVEBLOG:

ah yes, that tension-filled mimei look

CAN THEY STOP TESTING ME WITH CARLOSHIRA SCREENS

ooh this parallel of mei and mukai #1s

why does mei look so young at bat lmao

rather nice shot of mukai tbh

omg that tiny background akamatsu is adorable

WOW i love this shot

hell yeah mei kicking ass and taking names

boi... what you doin

KANETOU RIGHTS

kuraharu rights too!!

wow mochi's voice, never over it

BOI ARE THEY JUST SHOWING SHIPS LOOK AT MINORI

lookit mochi bein a good senpai

ooh eijun finally said no huh

mochi and harucchi look so concerned tbh i am too

mm and miyuki and furuya too huh

WHAT IS THIS BLEP STAHP

oowada always cracks me up lmao

esp when mine is so grave next to her

oh so mukai likes gambling? im not surprised lmaooo

INUI-SANNN I LOVE YOUUU

THE BOIIII

HE

H E

H I M S T

omg the way tetsu says carlos sounds all proud and im soft

PRETTY BOIS DOIN J O B S

GETTIN THAT BREAD

omg two RBIs too good job shirakawa!!!

omg im so glad mei encouraged itsuki

have i ever mentioned

inui x mukai RIGHTS

ESP THIS SEQUENCE OF MUKAI (AND INUI) PRACTICING

BOIIII

that toujou face... some toujou and mukai art i saw comes to mind

DAMN THE IMAGE WHEN INUI HITS IM WOW

also is carlos actually wearing his compression undershirt holy wow

he didnt used to at least

ANYWAY INUI DINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HELL YAHHH

omg was that a little tiger next to inui SO CUTE

oh my god "mei-san mei-san" too cute

LMAO TOO LONG

MEI I SWEAR

yoo mei you okay there

SLOW MO BALL

okay why does he look so good please

OKAY WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD PLEASE

do you know how many times i had to rewind for this screenshot

shirakawa also looks good frustrated fuckle

mei stop shakin off signs dammit

ooh nice akamatsu shot

seidou shares one (1) brain cell in this screen

much too short a game damn...

ive heard we were robbed of itsuki's blush??? cause hello i need catcher catcher goodness with him and inui

omg... they're literal children

SSLKDFHLSKDHGSSTOPPPPPPPPP

IM WEAK OKAY

I KNOW IT

I ACCEPT IT

HOW DAREMSTDVE

AND HIS V O I C E

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF

hahaha anyway im just laughing at carlos being a momentary harada

"mei-san" !!!

mei x mukai... so chaotic

wow amahisa looks so nice???

lmao they really didnt HAVE to put harucchi in the bg when miyuki's talking to furuya but they DID

miyuki... looking at mei too long not to be homo there

eijun :c

oh man

that really hurt

the face of a SON tho

"so you are human after all" so many things i want to say about this

sawamura... doesn't seem to hold a grudge against furuya at all and honestly wow...

tho its def not furuya's fault i think thats a mark of him being pretty mature!

anyway im glad furuya wants to watch the video too

also nabe!!!!! i wonder how close eijun and nabe are and how many times eijun has bothered him for the videos haha

ochiai, a backup catcher... interesting

"he must overcome this on his own" do you know how many problems there are with this statement

yeah it wasnt fair

"for better or for worse" are you kidding

oh furusawa lmaoo

and nabe just patient over there

oh hello masayui and kanetou

anime fist clench

koushuu!!!

oh man miyuki introspection......... i know where this is going.........

appreciating sawamura's hard work and optimism!!!!!

HE IS READY DAMMIT

how many more times does he have to prove it to you

loveLY but also reused?

WOW IM EMOTIONAL ALL THESE MEMORIES...

ALSO THIS IS PRETTY DAMN GAY...

and the shadow of miyuki in the background... WOW

three months............. until the third years retire...........................................

im not okA Y............................

all the things this smile hides

preview

BOI YOU ALREADY PITCH THAT WELL

wow too many sons

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BABY TAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

AND BABY KOUSHUU

END CARD WITH MANAGERS AAA CUTE

SUMMARY (7/26):

mei kicking ass and taking names 

mukai and his fooken BLEP 

PRETTY INAJITSU BOIS DOIN JOBS 

INUI DINGERRR 

inui/mukai rights 

mei + mukai actual CHILDREN 

carloshira stop attaccing sun challenge f a iled 

eijun @ harucchi :c 

three months... 

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! 

#daiya spoilers #daiya no ace act ii #daiya no ace #inajitsu #teito #seidou

[joonary]

Play matchmaker and pair up each bts member with one of your mutuals and explain why ✨

WORM ANON IM SO SORRY I TOOK ASS NUMBER OF DAYS TO RESPOND TO THIS

seokjin— without a doubt astrid @besitojeons like!! these two radiate such chaotic energy to a point where it is Frightening. deadass;;; they’d probably argue over stupid shit just for the sake of being right or backhandedly be really soft to each other, no in between. these two probably would spend their ‘dates’ making fun of other people (and by that i mean me and yoongi) and sending each other cursed images. Actually i take it back;;;; don’t leave these two in the same room together they Will plot to destroy the planet (shjsjs but in all seriousness, these two are sweet but very… eccentric which would make them bond well because this world doesn’t have enough people like them)

yoongi— i’m gonna have to say ashley @chimchurro because these two are like;;;; closet softies :((( also not gonna lie these two both low key intimidated the hell out of me before but that’s just because they both seem really intense (?) because they seem very focused but deep down they’re both cute lil buns :(( also they both are very talented at what they enjoy doing and inspire me :((( tbh ashley is probably the most tolerable out of all the doki dokis cause she’s the least cursed but she’s super understanding of all of our crackheadery and if she can put up with us;;; she’s Indestructible

hoseok— very predictable of me to say but ness @triviamang because they both are such moodmakers like?? ness is the sweetest bun on this planet we Must protect?? she and hobi are both very caring and talented (remember when hoseok threw a banana at jungkook so he’d eat? yeah that’s ness with all her followers) UGH can you imagine how cute they’d be together like?? hmmmm 2018’s most lovable couple (they both have the highest charisma stat in the system)

namjoon— listen if you thought I was going to say anyone other than mae @namtooris then guess what!! You’re Wrong!! so she and joon are both very talented NERDS and that’s all (they both have the highest brain cell count among their associates) :(( I’ve never met mae irl but she’s probably a clumsy lil bean like joonie :( they’d also probably go on cute lil mundane dates like studying at the library or walking in the park :( someone protect 2018’s softest couple (ALSO CUTE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BYE)

jimin— who else would be a better match than shae @gukksangel? (note: she’s a jk stan but let me rot in peace) these two are the absolute sweetest?? and you can’t help but be fond of them when they do literally a n y t h i n g (kris jenner in the thank u, next mv? that’s me with these two istg) they’re both very cute and charming which honestly makes these two Dangerous

taehyung— definitely luna @louvresdemiel because these two are the sweetest babes to exist :(( also they’re both so charismatic like??? I ain’t see either of them face to face but i’m already sweating hhhhh UH power couple but anyways they both have god tier humor level and luna seems to be very goal-oriented and wise (which probably explains why you’re never in the gc;;;; you’re the most responsible of all of us jdsjk) these two would probably be that couple that’s so uwu you just wanna yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP” at (example: luna’s shoe would be untied and tae would swoop in and tie it for her)  oh would you look at that?? I’d risk it all for both of them

jungkook— difficult decision but I’m gonna have to say mara @guktwt because!! to put in the words of homer simpson, the strong (koko) must protect the sweet (mara) djfjdh these two are big ass memes/ Edgy Kiddos and probably have weird strangely endearing nicknames for each other (example: “yo coke bottle I’m hungry” “i agree marinara let’s go to denny’s to get pancakes”) and they’re talented at everything and loved by everyone because??? how can you Not love them?? also mara has a noona kink BYE

I’m so sorry if none of this makes sense sfjsjjs anyways,,,, i lov bangtan and my friendos and That’s All I Have To Say

#MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING AND I DIDNT EDIT ANY OF THIS IM SORRY #THE INNER MACHINATIONS OF MY MIND ARE AN ENIGMA #MOOTS #ASK #ANON #DOKI DOKIS #(ft. ness)

[big-meows]

ducktales for that ask game thing

Favorite character

Webby. I became fiercely protective of her overnight in a big way when I kept seeing how she was being left off the official merch and I just got like, really really mad. How dare they ignore my daughter like this. And her personal story arc is the most engaging, she’s tough and capable without sacrificing her kindness and empathy, she’s a very good kid all around. People say she’s OP but honestly, good. Run circles around the boys. Its about damn time.

Second favorite character

Lena...I struggle a little bit watching those early episodes and seeing her actively playing Webby like a fiddle but knowing what we know about her now...goddamn. Save her. We gonna get you out of this, baby girl.

Least favorite character

HONESTLY I LIKE EVERYONE, they’re all likable on some level? Wait, no. Some of the shit tier villains aren’t very engaging and Mark Beaks is just, insufferable. He’s past “you’re supposed to find him insufferable” and straight into “I’m going to turn my head and pretend I don’t want to be watching this show” bad. (Weirdly, the casual racism in his latest episode made him fractionally more engaging because now I can take him at least kind of seriously as a villain instead of just a cringey obnoxious tool)

The character I’m most like

Honestly? Honestly? Probably Louie. Im sorry.

Favorite pairing

Webby/Lena..... I want to believe in 2018 Webby’s being deliberately written Like That by people on the staff who genuinely care and want to do something good for the gays but the old bitter lesbian in me knows this is Disney we’re talking about and to not get my hopes up too high. If it were Cartoon Network I’d be a little more confident but, mmmm. Regardless, she reads like a textbook baby gay and I’m so so so here for it. 

Least favorite pairing

Literally anything else. I’m only here for the baby lesbians. Goldie can do better imo.

Favorite moment

fuck my life I will never, ever ever be over the tail end of The Other Bin. Its a toss up between Lena crying and whimpering at “You deserve a hug” (this makes me sound like a sick fuck but its honestly an extremely powerful moment that shows us who she really is) and that moment when she’s losing control of her faculties to Magica and realizes it, her voice is betraying her and she cant stop it. God thats some good fucking shit. Goddamn. ugh.

Rating out of 10

10. If you havent watched Ducktales please give it a shot? It starts off a little cheesy and some of the writing is a little weak in places but it really picks up in the second half of the first season. After you get that far the first episodes absolutely get better in retrospect.

#quadrell

[love-laika]

homestuck reread: act 5

sso , as a follow up to this post (jesus christ did i really write that over two weeks ago?), i figured i ought to post my thoughts while rereading act 5 of homestuck. obviously spoilers if you still care about that at this point

when most fans talk about homestuck today, they’re really talking about act 5. its when some of the more infamous aspects (trolls, absurd time shenanigans, ridiculously meta storytelling) come in full force. i also happen to believe it’s probably the best part of the whole story (well so far, i still have to reread act 6). before jumping in, pretty much all of my previous complaints remain.

The trolls are great. That’s really all there is to say on the matter! Seeing how their session plays out is really fun, especially since unlike the kids, it is aggressively abridged. It’s so short, I’m actually curious why Hussie chose to have it be an Intermission rather than Act 5 Act 1... or well, actually given the events leading to Cascade, that might not be true. It’s a nice meta way of signifying how the A and B sessions are intimately tied.

Either way, I thought it’d be fun to examine how I feel about each troll! 

Karkat - Everyone’s favorite, really. His ridiculous screaming rants and obsession with feeling important brushes over his intense insecurity. The obsession with hiding his blood (even after Alternia is long gone), insistence on being leader, past/future self-hatred... he’s got a hell of a complex. actually, the story shines a light on how he agonizes over every mistake he’s ever made, to the point where he dissociates his actions from himself by calling past/future him a FUCKING IDIOT or whatever. He’s a good boy

Aradia - On my previous read, I never thought much of Aradia. there wasn’t really anything in particular i disliked about her, she just never stuck. which of course is dumb, and past me is stupid for glossing over her. especially after going god-tier, she’s like... i can’t even really describe it. i guess is just safe to say i like alive aradia a lot because she’s just a little bit crazy

tavros - maybe its my bias towards vriska, but i kind of don’t like tavros. you know, maybe its some sort of reflection of how i feel about myself or something about how his coward schtick is annoying to me. (his raps are fun to read aloud though)

sollux - sollux is a complete asshole (basically to the end if i remember right), but even if he’s written to be unlikeable his position as a snarky jerk fits well within the troll group. though, surprisingly after his introduction he doesn’t do very much because he never interacts with the kids. his bifurcation gimmick though, and how its basically some absurd foreshadowing for act 5 as a whole is just. its so cool.

nepeta - nepeta has always been a favorite troll of mine even though she was basically born to die and plays no real role in the alpha timeline at all. despite this, fans like myself latched onto her because she’s a catgirl duh! the anime is inescapable. nepeta’s just cute bu her death scene makes me really sad... she didn’t deserve it! and being taken out by gamzee is just cruel. i guess this is what fanfiction is for???

kanaya - you know im starting to think my thoughts on all the various trolls were warped by the Vriska Distortion Field. I didn’t give a shit about the rest because vriska is the best!!!!!!!! this time around, i really noticed vriska and kanaya’s relationship sort of blossom all the way through act 5. its kind of touching after she had a pretty rough time in her own game after the Pupa Pan incident. kanaya’s great especially her transitioning from humorless broad to snark extraordinaire. i especially like to read her speech as just the most posh and practiced british accent Because It Makes Her Sound Sophisticated When Shes Saying Really Something Dumb Like Shout Pole

terezi - terezi’s gimmick is just so... so much. the obsession with justice and law (particlarly brutal troll law) makes her just totally silly. she hangs her stuffed animals from her treehouse. the blindness, the licking, H3Y D4V3-ness is a joy to read. it also helps that her harpsichord-led music is some of the best over the entire discography.

vriska - you know how i feel about vriska. you cannot beat her in a troll-off she is simply the 8est there is

equius - i don’t like equius! hes a creep! his gimmick is that hes a sweaty space racist! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i really don’t understand people that get attahed to him! i wish nepeta got to spend more time separate from him!

gamzee - ah yes the most important character in homestuck. i like gamzee, but 

i dont like his position with fans as the fuckin yaoiest boy to ever live when hes actually a horrorcore clown murderer

how long he remains in the story. way longer than he ever should have stayed. i understand he has to do stuff for lord english and all that, but i kind of wished he died on the meteor. oh well!

eridan - ah yes the other space racist. eridan i can actually stand though because he’s basically every shitty boy you’ve ever met. he’s totally desperate and pathetic and then when he gets rejected he gets violent. for such a silly comic, i think it stumbles into something weirdly real there. eridan’s a douche until the very end. i also give him like chavviest voice i can muster. it is a blight on the queens english and i apologize

feferi - i really noticed that feferi is a little bit deeper than i originally thought! i always just thought of her as “the nice girl” but she can be pretty devious and even cruel occasioanlly. She has an interaction with Vriska in what of the Alterniabound flashes is just so... prickly? on both sides.

ANYWAYS when we get back to the kids, I’ll admit I don’t remember a lot of the details. john goes to explore skaia and spends a lot fot ime with vriska. dave builds up a ridiculous amount of money, rose fucks shit up, and jade eventually gets to start breeding frogs after fianlly entering the game. i can’t exactly explain why, but the pacing here just feels better. maybe its variey of environments and general avoidance of pointless distractions, but its a much easier read than the earlier parts. i mean, i guess id hope so after the comic has gone on for 3 years at this point i think. Act 5, in totality is about the same length as all the previous parts combined, but goes by way faster! it kind of sucks that you know, you have to dig through a lot to get to the good parts. but man those parts are really good.

ad then we get to the buidlup to cascade, the parts in doc scratch’s room. I feel like some of the realest shit is right here. vriska’s triumph/death just kills me every time. i kind of take john’s side here on her past. at the very end, when she really starts to show remorse and to wonder who vriska really is breaks my heart. terezi’s end as well. the culmination of their friendship and rivalry coming down to a single choice. kill her, or let her go and doom everyone. its sad in a way very little else is in the story (except maybe dave and rose’s suicide mission). even knowing what happens much later, it just... its so rough yall.

i remember crying reading most of these parts. i have very specific memories of it happening. i wish it was easier to show new people some of these parts because they are just ugh... so choice. im a sucker for it. also there’s the sotry of the troll ancestors, her imperious condescension, lord english, etc etc etc.

i dont have much to say about cascade, a lot has already been said by everyone else. it is almost certainly the climax, even if the story has a ways to go, and its a triumph! It almost feels like it should be the end of the story in some ways because of how it is the culmination of everything that has happened since the very beginning.

thats all i can really say about that without getting bogged down in minutiae. Act 5 is fantastic, period. Now that Lord English is here (or rather, he already was), a new arc begins in Act 6. It’s approximately around here where I caught with the story as it was coming out! I’m really really curious about how I feel about when reading it in one go because it’s also around this time that updates got slower and slower, due to increased production time, then the exceptionally troubled development of Hiveswap.

#homestuck #ll redoes hs