#this is the first time i've drawn dana

[carefulfears]

the biggest thing about elegy is that it takes all of that unspoken isolation of this arc, and it slowly lets the audience in. the first thing that mulder says about the apparitions, is that they seem to be an "omen." an impending prophecy. and carefully, throughout the episode, both the audience and scully are waiting to see, not who the killer is, but what is being foretold. when they're going over records, and scully's nose starts bleeding, it's the one thing that they can't ignore. she wasn't even there in the previous episode. she was in the hospital. alone. they don't talk about it. she's "fine." she has "always been the strong one." just like in irresistible, years earlier, she does not want him to know how much she is struggling. but she doesn't have any control. it is dripping out of her. the sound of his voice when he says "oh, scully." and how quickly she responds "it's okay. i'm fine."

it's that kind of childlike grimace in him, the same man who flinches away from dead bodies and stares at the ground before his father. and she's so fast to try to restore order. it's okay. i'm fine. don't worry, i'll clean it up. i'll make it go away. when she disappears into the bathroom and sees an apparition there herself...i think she decides to go to the hospital because she just needs space, honestly. she's scared. he offers to drive her, to go with her, twice. asks, "you sure?" and she says, twice, "i'm fine."

elegy builds to two separate climaxes: the first, when mulder comes to scully's apartment. but before that, we see scully in karen kosseff's office, the same therapist that she had gone to in irresistible, and presumably has kept a relationship with in the years since. she tells karen that she's been diagnosed with inoperable untreatable cancer, and when karen asks, "you've kept working?" she answers, "yes. it's been important to me."

she's taken aback when karen asks why, is surprised at the question, and tells her "agent mulder has been concerned. he's been supportive, through this time."

KOSSEFF: Do you feel that you owe it to him to continue working?

SCULLY: (quickly) No. (pauses) I guess I never realized how much I rely on him before this...his passion...he's been a great source of strength that I've drawn on.

KOSSEFF: What happened last night, Dana?

SCULLY: I saw something. I, I don't know what to trust. If I saw it because of the stress, because the image had been suggested to me or if it was a suggestion of my own fears.

KOSSEFF: Your fear of failing him?

SCULLY: (exhales emotionally) Maybe.

this is such a rare admission from scully. first of all, she's being confronted. this is not normal. it is not normal to work to your death. it's like bill tells her, a couple of episodes later, "what are you doing at work, getting knocked down, beaten up? what are you trying to prove?"

(she hadn't even told bill about her cancer. she'd been sick for months. she thought she was going to die in memento mori, she knows she's going to die sooner than later. and she instructed her mom not to tell her brother. from the moment that mulder said "i refuse to believe that," it really was only going to go one way.)

she's being confronted. why are you working? (for mulder). do you feel you owe him? (no, i need him).

she's really alone. she's sick. like, she's really sick. she spent the last case in the hospital. she's having a hard time keeping up. she's thinning, and bleeding, and struggling. but there she goes, every day, at every hour. monster chasing. telling him she's fine.

(so much conflict comes from the way that mulder's ignorance perfectly enables scully's repression)

when he shows up, late, at her apartment, he comes in a mile-a-minute, about how he needs her "help" on the case, before asking her what her doctor said. (her answer, of course, being, "i'm fine.")

he tells her that everyone who has seen an apparition, was dying. every person who reported a premonition, was near death themselves.

SCULLY: Harold Spuller is dying too?

MULDER: Well, that's what I need your medical opinion on.

SCULLY: Well, what if he isn't?

MULDER: I would be very surprised. What is a death omen if not a vision of our own mortality? And who among us would most likely be able to see the dead? 

this is one of the most hauntingly isolating moments of the series...he has just told her that she is going to die. and he doesn't know, that that's what he said. she is forced to process it, completely by herself. and she doesn't believe in ghosts, or "premonitions," but she knows that he is right. (when is he not?)

("maybe harold is sicker than we thought he was.")

the second moment that this episode builds to, is the final confrontation between mulder and scully. after the murder is solved. after harold dies.

SCULLY: I saw something, Mulder.

MULDER: What?

SCULLY: The fourth victim. I saw her in the bathroom before you came to tell me.

MULDER: Why didn't you tell me?

SCULLY: Because I didn't want to believe it. Because I don't want to believe it.

MULDER: Is that why you came down here, to prove that it wasn't true?

SCULLY: No, I came down here because you asked me to.

MULDER: Why can't you be honest with me?

SCULLY: (defensively) What do you want me to say? That you're right, that, that I believe it even if I don't? I mean, is that what you want?

MULDER: Is that what you think I want to hear?

SCULLY: (softly) No.

they come really...close here? to talking about it? she almost baits him several times this season. she spends so much of this arc thinking...maybe, this will be it. maybe if she fucks off on assignment, gets a tattoo with another man, he'll say it. maybe if she calls him out for never celebrating her birthday, he'll acknowledge why this is the year he did. maybe if they spend a friday night with a bottle of wine, they'll talk. maybe if she tells him, those things you believe are death omens? i saw it. he'll know.

i can't remember which one of you said that all of their arguments are just how to love each other. she doesn't want to believe. but she's there, because he has asked her to be. even in all of their repressed denial, there is no escaping what's happening. it hangs over both of them.

i love the moments in this arc where she just snaps. in this scene when she says, what do you want from me? do you want me to just believe you? and her quiet resignation, when he makes her answer her own question. no. she knows that's not what he wants.

MULDER: (his voice softens) I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the same thing.

SCULLY: The doctor said I was fine.

MULDER: I hope that's the truth.

SCULLY: (whispers) I'm going home.

"i know what you're afraid of. i'm afraid of the same thing."

except, no, he doesn't. and no, they are not.

but she knows what he's afraid of, just as her therapist had known what she's afraid of ("your fear of failing him?") and so she dodges his admittance with reassurance. she's fine.

that last scene, when she goes out and cries in her car, and she sees harold's ghost in the backseat. she is so alone. she's working on her deathbed. they don't talk about it. she's afraid, and she's not fine, and she is going to "fail" him because she cannot keep herself alive for him, and she can't avoid it. it's in the backseat. it's in the bathroom mirror. it's bleeding out of her.

#here trish #txf.txt #elegy #DANA LOOK OUT!!! YOUR ELEGIES ARE EULOGIZING YOU!!!!!!!!!! #i was saying last night how much i love ‘gethsemane’ as an episode title #and i think that may be my favorite one #but i love ‘elegy’ a lot too #‘a lament for the dead’ #this whole episode is sorrow for the dead and dying #how we cannot catch up to them #and our dying girl at the center. seeing the omens. knowing what’s coming. crying alone in her car. #this show was always so so so resonant and impactful when it came to themes of grief and loss #anyway. there is no beyond the sea etc etc #also i noticed last night that scully mentions how long they've been together a lot during this arc #'in the four years i've known you' in tempus fugit #'i would think after four years' in elegy #'everything that we've done over the past four years' in reduxii #she's taking stock

[randomfoggytiger]

Hey there! I saw your post about sending you prompts. And since I've been following your first Fictober with great excitement, I couldn't help but comply with your request. If this isn't what you're looking for, please just ignore it:

Scully contemplates the ever-changing meaning of her cross. From getting it from her mother to Mulder wearing it when she was missing to her getting it back from Mulder after her abduction.

Thank you for writing!

Thank you for the prompt! Here we go~!

"Watch Over You Wherever You Go"

(Fictober, Day 28)

*****

Maggie watched Dana reclaim her necklace, under no illusions that her baby girl embraced it for its old purposes: a symbol of her childhood religion. (The quick look Dana gave to and away from the Catholic devotion beaming in her eyes laid that hope to rest.) 

For now. 

As a girl, her daughter had been a little tomboy. She'd swung ropes and thrown rocks (but had drawn the line at spitting) with the best of them-- the change began when an innocent snake had died by her own hands. Dana withdrew, crushed; and started asking questions about God, about Heaven, about being locked out forever because she’d done a bad thing. So, Maggie purchased cross necklaces for both her girls and gifted them at Christmas. Dana was awed, grateful, joyful (Melissa not so much); but she got into the habit of fiddling with it, twisting it around, and it was broken within a matter of weeks. By the time Maggie bought her a birthday necklace barely two months after the first, little Dana was determined not to break it, curbing her more fractious impulses and slowly shedding her rough and rowdy tomboy habits like a second skin. 

Teen years were tough for her baby: Dana had braces and seemed more interested in sneaking onto the porch with her mother’s smokes than any particular boy at school. Maggie was glad she’d figured things out by her senior year-- Marcus-- before she headed off to college, taking the second necklace with her. 

Collegiate Dana had wanted to find herself; and Maggie knew that would include questioning her childhood faith. The day she'd been dreading was the day her daughter spent the holidays Christmas shopping with Melissa instead of joining the rest of the family for Mass; but she knew God was just, Dana was good, and that everything would work itself out in the end. All the same, it was that day when Maggie sensed the necklace had been reinvented: a symbol of Dana’s love for her mother, not for a shared god. 

When Dana dropped out of medical school, Maggie had been as incensed as her husband: medical school expenses, years seemingly down the drain, and a dangerous, lower-paying career to boot. It was one thing for Dana to play with her soul and another to play with her safety. Nothing they said could convince or deter her. Everyone had an opinion, and her daughter was fiddling, twisting her necklace again. Then Melissa arrived. Scolding her family into peace, she promised her parents to have a talk with-- "only a talk"-- her little sister before they all parted ways.  

Dana recruited anyway. And after a year on the field and a few months back in the labs, she was gone. 

Then Maggie met Fox Mulder; and he'd surprised her by handing over her daughter’s necklace, subtly apologizing for having to ask about something so fundamental to his partner. She’d admitted Dana's lack of faith while staring at her cross; and tried to assure Fox this wasn't his fault, trusting him with its safekeeping.

And now here they were, on the other side of death. 

Maggie kept her eyes fixed on her baby girl, knowing Melissa would fill her in on the nuances of the young couple later. Dana’s forefinger and thumb were already inching up to her necklace, subconsciously waiting for Fox’s second exit before fiddling, twisting like old times-- as if she feared he’d catch her doing the wrong thing in a moment of weakness.  

Maybe that’s why she left the faith, Maggie realized, staring at the exhaustion puddling under her daughter’s eyes. Perhaps Dana felt she wasn’t good enough; and that the faith would reject her. 

Perhaps that was why she was striving here, even on her hospital bed, to be a rock of strength for Fox. He, at any rate, accepted everything about his partner, even forgave the sense of failure weighing her down; and her daughter came alive under his gentle smiles and encouragement. 

Fox left; and Maggie followed his lead, gathering up Melissa so Dana could be left in peace. They all needed time to sort through their emotions in private; and she, for one, had a lot to examine in-depth. 

The image of Dana cradling her cross and staring at Fox like he’d hung the moon burned itself into her mind-- Maggie knew, as clearly as if it had been said, that the necklace was no longer a connection between herself and her daughter. It was now a lifeline between Dana and her partner, forged over the months and miles they'd survived apart. Not that this was a surprise-- it was exactly what she'd intended, months and miles ago when she’d handed her little girl’s necklace back to Fox. “When you find her, you give it to her”, and she’d meant for the rest of your lives. 

And beyond, Maggie mentally added. After all, she believed in the goodness of God.  

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event

#txf #mine #Fictober #Day 28 #2023 #“Watch Over You Wherever You Go” #Maggie Scully #Scully #Mulder #One Breath #S2 #fic #xf fanfic

[fridge-art-nick]

I've been watching the Dana Terrece (and Alex Hirsch) Charity Streams, and have been trying to along with them. Specifically, with the same prompts and around the same time. The first ones, I drew on my computer, because I didn't realise that it would be on a drawing tablet . . .

So, this marks part 2 in the Dana Terrece Charity Stream series (DTCS series for short) - "Stan and Ford Doing the Titanic Pose"

The original:

My not-so-wonderful-take on it:

There will not be a tablet-drawn version of this drawing

I do not like it. I: [

#i cant see rhe colors right now #are they good #. . . . #uh...yeah #dtcs series #fridge blob nick #dana terrace charity streams #dana terrace #fanart #maybe my art #alex hirsch #planned parenthood #(where the charity goes into) #feel free to donate #the owl house #gravity falls

[theowllhouse]

I've always thought it was kind of weird that Dana's drawing of the Collector (which looks suspiciously like Luz) has yellow scleras and red irises, when those traits would seemingly come from nowhere.

I think that IF the theory that Luz is gonna be possessed by the Collector is correct, then it's possible that King might get wrapped up in it too.

Based on the imagery from Edge of the World, King seems to be associated with the moon. Not to mention, the moon on the boiling isles already looks a lot like a face and it's been suspected that it may have been related to the titan.

The Collector has suns on half their body and moons on the other. We already have an association with Luz representing the light portion of that (with her name literally translating to "light," amongst other things). Given this episode's association of King with the moon, I think it's plausible that he might be the other half of the "sun and moon" dichotomy.

Going back to the eye thing in particular, I also find it odd that in the moment where it's implied that King becomes connected to the Collector, his irises seem to glow a little more red than normal. Where King's eyes are normally yellow and pink, in this moment, they look yellow and red.

ALSO! The crescent moon drawn on King's forehead is pretty much the exact same colour as the right side of the-Collector-possibly-merged-with-Luz's face.

The colour on King's head is 10% darker, but I still feel like it's way too close to be a mere coincidence.

All this being said, I have NO idea how King might become involved in this possession (other than what we've already seen), since there's no real concrete evidence for how Luz might become possessed by the Collector in the first place. It just seems to me that Luz may not be the only one affected by the Collector if and/or when the time comes.

#toh spoilers #toh season 2 #toh season 2 spoilers #the owl house #toh #dana terrace #disney #the owl house season 2 #luz noceda #luz #King #king clawthorne #theory #speculation #the collector #the collector toh #toh collector #belos #(as a personal note i really hope that Luz doesn't end up being possessed by the collector) #(i just want her to be able to be a normal kid you know?) #mine

[semper-legens]

129. Divine Madness, by Robert Muchamore

Owned: No, library Page count: 360 My summary: James, Lauren, and Dana are on their most dangerous mission yet - to infiltrate a religious cult suspected of hoarding weapons and hosting terrorists. They'll need to play the role of brainwashed little cultists, believing they are 'angels' in a world full of 'devils', the only ones who will be saved when the Rapture comes. But there's more at play under the surface here. And soon they'll find themselves in more danger than they could have anticipated... My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Of all the CHERUB books, this is the one I was most looking forward to rereading. I don't know what it says about me that I've always been interested in cults and reading about cults, both real and fictional, but that's how it is! I remember that this was one of my favourites when I was a kid, so I was very interested to read it again as an adult, give it a fresh pair of eyes. After all, I know a lot more about real-life religious cults these days than I used to. And how did it hold up? …weirdly.

I'm gonna preface this by saying that it's gonna seem like a lot of complaining about this book down here under the cut. I had some very serious misgivings about it, but I did ultimately enjoy it and recognise what it was trying to do. That said, the misgivings are what I want to discuss. First…I know I've spoken before about the copaganda (or, I suppose, military propaganda) present in these books. So far, this is the worst one for being hypocritical and seemingly not even realising it. At one point, an explicit comparison is drawn between CHERUB as an organisation and the cult in the book. The difference, the kids say indignantly, is that everyone in CHERUB knows what they're getting into, and has the ability to pull out if they need to. They can turn down missions, they have agency.

Which…earlier in the book a mission controller proudly makes the point that no CHERUB ever turns down a mission, and the kids point out that if you refuse a high-profile mission, you'll basically be doing baby jobs through your whole career. There absolutely is pressure on these kids to do dangerous stuff, and the process of recruiting smart, fit kids with no family ties is more than a little shady. Not to mention that CHERUB kids younger than ten are brought up in CHERUB and taught with the expectation that they'd enter the hell that is basic training as soon as they can. Eve, the cult teen, makes a decision at the end to do a terrorism after all and winds up dead because of it, and that's a tragedy. There isn't a lot of difference between her and the CHERUB kids though. They, also, go through with the missions at all costs, and think they're acting for the greater good. But the book doesn't seem to want to explore any of these ideas. CHERUB isn't a cult. CHERUB is a good organisation fighting the bad guys.

My other main issue was Dana. James and Lauren are joined on this mission by Dana, a slightly older mouthy Australian girl who has been mentioned before, but never really shown up. She…really doesn't get a lot of character development in the earlier parts of this book. It's the James and Lauren show - James is the one who gets them an in to the cult compound they're trying to infiltrate, Lauren gets in with important kids, while Dana just kind of exists. True, later she plays a bigger role, but you'd think that if a new character is joining the cast then the narrative would spend some time with her so we can get to know her. She's just standoffish and grumpy through the start of the book, and like, that's all there is to her. It's just a weird choice.

But yeah, I do have to give this book some credit for how it handles its subject matter. None of the cult people are really portrayed as being inherently evil, a lot of them are obviously misguided or brainwashed. The climax, in which the government comes in to crack down on the compound and meets a lot of armed resistance, is wildly reminiscent of the Waco siege. The military and police ignore the mission controller's intelligence that there are armed people inside the compound, and that leads to devastation as the cult, convinced that the 'devils' are coming for them, respond by blowing up most of the compound. And everyone inside it. James and Lauren are caught in the crossfire, trying their best to get out. Initially, James is against taking all the kids that have been sheltering in the same room with them, but Lauren insists - and good thing too, because when the bombs blow, the room they were in is obliterated. That gets her the black shirt, the highest CHERUB rank. But it's also a really sympathetic situation - I don't think the cult members (outside of the higher ups) are ever really demonised for what happens, it's more just a tragedy that they've been brainwashed into thinking they know what's right, and then the police agitate the situation until people die. It's horrible, but it's sadly realistic.

Next up, a graphic novel, and a young girl changes her identity to help her family.

#Divine Madness #Robert Muchamore #bookblr #book blog #book blogger

[smartycvnt]

needed, wanted

pairing: liv morgan x reader

prompt: 14. "you heard me, take. it. off." + 106. "i'm going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name."

warning: smut, top liv, bottom reader

Your call up back to the main roster would have been a blessing if it hadn't been to Raw. It made sense for you to go there, you had allies there, but your ex was also there. It was a stupid relationship that shouldn't have meant anything, but it did. You were younger then and hadn't quite gotten your head screwed on straight. Now, as you watched your ex every week backstage, you were reminded of the hurt you had first felt months and months ago.

"Y/n?" Liv called out after you as you sped past her. The two of you had been friends on your firsts main roster run, but fallen a little out of touch when you went back to developmental. You had been very focused on getting better, and becoming someone worthy of going after a main roster title. You needed to be someone outside of the random tag teams that creative kept throwing you into. You needed a good character, and it didn't help that your wrestling ability hadn't exactly been top tier yet.

"Please, just go away," you sniffled. Liv didn't come any closer, but she also didn't back off at all. You wiped your eyes on the inside of your sleeve, hating that you were crying over your loss. Damian and Rhea had beat your ass, proving that you weren't good enough yet again. You weren't good enough for Damian to keep you around and you weren't good enough to pick up a single win.

"What happened out there wasn't your fault," Liv said softly as she placed a hand on your shoulder. You leaned towards her a little, drawn towards her warmth. "They play dirty, and Damian knew going out there was going to throw you off."

"I'm pathetic, that's what I am. He knows how to get to me. I'll never get anywhere with him here." You felt hopeless and you hated it. Liv just held you for a few moments and let you cry it out. You were grateful for her friendship. She was good to you, she had always been so good to you, even when she had been a thorn in everybody else's side. "God, I am a mess. You shouldn't have to always pick up these pieces."

"I don't mind it. You deserve someone to take care of you," Liv told you. She pressed a kiss to the top of your head. The simple action had your stomach doing flips. "You deserve someone who would do anything for you. Never forget it."

"You're the closest I've ever gotten to that," you admitted. Before Damian, you hadn't really had a serious relationship. You had moved too quickly without enough communication to make sure you were on the same page. He wasn't very talkative, so you had always just assumed that when he didn't protest or argue, he had no issue with your presence. Liv was the opposite of that, she told you as much as she could how much she liked having you around. Liv was generous with her affection naturally, but it felt like she saved the sincerest bits of herself for you.

Liv looked down at you for a moment, a contemplative look on her face. It was there as quickly as it had appeared before she was moving towards you. Time seemed to slow as your eyes closed, Liv's lips ghosting against yours. You moved forward just enough to connect your lips in a kiss. Liv's hands came to rest under your jaw, cradling your face as yours tugged her onto your lap. The two of you allowed yourselves to get caught up in the lip lock, so much so that neither of you heard the locker room door opening until a shriek caused you to jump apart.

"Sorry, my bad!" Dana Brooke exclaimed as she turned her back to the two of you. Liv got off of your lap with a huff, but you could see the smirk on her lips. She grabbed her own bag from the ground and patted Dana on the shoulder.

"It's okay, not like you have to knock before you come in here. I'll be at my car when you're ready to go Y/n," Liv said. She walked out of the locker room after that, leaving you and Dana alone together. Dana turned to you, a shocked yet pleased look on her face.

"What?" you asked, unsure of what to expect from her. At first, she had been a pain in your ass but over time, the two of you had set aside your differences. She understood your frustrations better than anyone else on the roster when it came to being wasted potential.

"Nothing now, but I expect some juicy details when I see you next," Dana said as she walked past you to get to her bag. You grabbed your stuff and headed back to take a quick shower. You rushed to get dressed and when you met Liv in the parking lot, your hair was still dripping wet. The two of you were alone outside, so you greeted her with a kiss.

"Ready?" Liv asked you. You nodded and got into the car. You drove to the hotel where the talent was staying for the night, where Liv checked the two of you into a room. "I, uh, got two beds, but I can get you another room if I need to."

"It's fine," you told her. You wanted this with Liv, you wanted whatever she was willing to give you. Liv grabbed your hand and led you into the elevator. The two of you were very touchy with each other, more than usual. Liv's fingertips lingered a little, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. You wanted to feel her hands all over your body. That wasn't shocking to you, but the familiarity of that desire was.

Inside the room, the two of you appeared to be on the same page. Both of you wanted the same thing but were a bit apprehensive to just go after it. Liv was the one who led the initiative this time, pressing a tentative kiss to your lips and waiting for you to kiss her back. You wrapped your arms around her waist as the two of you backed up towards the bed. The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and the two of you fell backwards, causing you to break the kiss.

"Do you want this?" Liv asked you.

"Yes," you answered immediately. You didn't have to think about this. You wanted this to happen, you wanted Liv. Liv smiled at the confidence in your voice, the certainty in your choice of picking her that night. "I want you so badly."

"I want to give you what you want." Liv tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Your breath hitched a little as she leaned down before pressing a kiss to the underside of your jaw. You let out a moan as Liv's lips moved down the side of your neck. Her hands moved down to your hips, just barely pushing the bottom of your shirt up a little.

"Take it off," you mumbled as Liv's hands moved higher up your torso. She paused for a moment, staring at you with her hands resting just below the top of your ribcage. Her fingers wrapped around your sides, pressing in gently.

"What?" Liv asked. She wasn't quite sure whether or not she had heard you correctly. You had been fairly passive so far, allowing Liv to just go with her own instincts. She wasn't opposed to you making demands or requests, but she hadn't expected it quite this early. Liv had planned on taking her time in undressing and unraveling you.

"You heard me, take. It. Off." You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and looked down at your shirt. Liv's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she did what you had told her to do anyways. Her eyes raked over your body, taking in the newly exposed skin. You reached behind your own back and unhooked your bra before tossing it back behind your head.

"God, you are so hot," Liv said as she placed her hands on top of your breasts. She groped and massaged your breasts before tweaking your nipples in between her fingers. They hardened quickly under her touch, but she didn't stop there. Liv's tongue swirled around the hardened buds as she let her mouth worship your body.

"Liv please, I need to feel you," you whimpered. Liv forced herself away from your chest and sat back between your legs. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of your shorts and underwear, but didn't immediately make a move. You bit your lip as you waited for Liv to make that next move. You wanted it so badly and weren't above begging her for it.

"Do you want me to fuck you Y/n?" Liv asked.

"Please do. I want it Liv, I want you." You looked up at her with pleading eyes. Liv hummed in approval at your response and began pulling off the rest of your clothes. You heard a soft growl in the back of Liv's throat as she saw the state of you in front of her. "I need to feel you Liv."

"You will Y/n. I'm going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name," Liv promised you. You didn't doubt her for one second. Liv pulled her own shirt over her head, leaving herself in just a sports bra and leggings in front of you. She pulled your hips up as she ducked her head down.

Liv's lips pressed a kiss in between your legs, as if it was one last wordless promise to take care of you. Her tongue slid between your folds, guided by the wetness. The strokes of her tongue were broad and slow, but there was a force and pressure behind each one that made your knees weak. Every single move that Liv made, whether it be with her tongue or the teasing middle finger playing at your entrance was deliberate.

"You taste so good," Liv complimented as she leaned back to watch you. Liv had her middle and ring fingers inside of you, curling as they rocked back and forth. Your heart was racing in your chest so fast and hard that you were scared it would explode if she didn't make you cum quickly.

"Liv, please," you whined. Liv grabbed your hand with her free one as she ducked her head back down. You could feel her eyes staring up at you as she sucked your clit into her mouth. Each little pull of suction was another shiver down your spine. You weren't sure how much more of this you could take. Nobody had ever made you feel like this, had ever kept you on the edge for so long with such an ease. Liv released your clit with a small 'pop' and added a third finger.

"It's okay, I've got you. I've got you," Liv cooed as she watched your body slowly adjust. With three fingers inside of you, Liv started to pump her fingers in and out of you more. It was more than what you had been getting before, but it still wasn't quite enough. A sobbing moan shook your body and before you could warn Liv, you felt your orgasm tear through you. She kept two fingers inside of you, slowly bringing your mind back down to earth.

"Jesus Christ, Liv," you said breathlessly. Your voice was hoarse and raspy, the soreness in your throat beginning to settle in. Liv pressed a kiss to your hip before sliding off of the bed to grab you an oversized sweatshirt to wear. "We should probably move over to the clean bed."

"Sounds like a good idea," Liv agreed. She helped you over to the other bed. You felt like you could barely move after everything your body had been through that night, but you trusted Liv to take care of you. She seemed more than happy to. There were no complaints when you asked her to get your bag for you so that you could put on a clean pair of underwear to sleep in. "Goodnight, Y/n."

"G'night Liv," you said tiredly. You turned the lamp off and let yourself fall asleep quickly. Beside you, Liv laid in bed for another hour, just listening to the sounds of the city outside of your window and the steady rhythm of your breathing.

#hot fic summer #liv morgan #liv morgan x reader #liv morgan imagine #liv morgan imagines #wwe imagines #wwe #wwe x reader #wwe imagine

[defying-gravityfalls]

Here we are, 10 years later

Hey folks. It's been a while. I really wanted to have something to post in time for the anniversary but I've gotten held up and was unable to make anything in time for the date. We are however on 618 today! So I'll take what I can get lol.

You may have noticed this account has been pretty barren the last couple years, and it's not hard to guess that is because I had moved on, I have fallen into other hyperfixations, and I'm also an adult now with more responsibilities than I had when I was running this account as a teenager. I almost have some sort of guilt from leaving this behind and even wonder if anyone still cares about what's on here, which is part of the reason I haven't posted much. But I'm feeling nostalgic and I want to talk about Gravity Falls and this is the perfect place to do it! So I thought I'd give you all an update on what I have going on and how I've circled back here.

Let me just start off by saying I'm sorry for falling through on a giveaway I had promised right before I had left this account, I still feel bad about it, I was at a real low point in life and should have never promised something I felt I could not follow through on. I didn't know what else to do except run away from it. But I'm better now, and to anyone who is still upset at me over this I encourage you to contact me for a free commission of your choice, because I'm actually serious about art now! (Seriously you have no idea how bad I feel about this I am so so sorry yall)

I have had one major hyperfixation since my GF one faded, and that would be Hatchetfield. I guess I'm just drawn to small towns where weird things happen! In the same way GF changed my life, Hatchetfield also has, I would not be where I am today without either of them. And if you also like Hatchetfield I have side account if you wanna check it out! This is definitely where I'm most active these days. I actually have a fic for it with a premise which many times has been compared to Bipper, and yes I do think that is an accurate callout lol

I've also gotten into The Owl House quite a bit lately, I wasn't too into it when it first started airing like I was with GF but once season 2 hit I started watching pretty regularly, and I'm sure many of you also watch it because of Dana. I'm definitely not as into it as I was with GF but I'm having a good time! A thing doesn't have to take over my life to be good lol.

On a personal note I have moved back to Minnesota! I'm currently a waitress trying to save up enough money for an apartment, I haven't finished college yet but now instead of animation/writing I'm hoping to get/finish my degree in theatre with a focus on costuming and SFX makeup. While I still love animation and could see it as something I would like to be a part of, theatre just seems more realistic to me at this point, and I like it and am already kinda good at it! I've always done theatre, this makes sense for me.

Back to why I came here. With all the hype recently leading up to the 10th anniversary I have been missing Gravity Falls, and I have been missing the community, and I want to get involved again. I don't think I ever truly left Gravity Falls behind, it stayed with me one way or the other, having this presence in my life I couldn't deny, and I think I want to come back home to it. My life has changed a lot the past 10 years, i wanna look back on something that made me so happy.

So I'm gonna try to be more active on this blog! I'm gonna start a long overdue rewatch on the series and maybe liveblog some parts of it. I think that's a good starting point. I'm happy to be back, and I hope I maybe still have friends here after being absent for a few years, and I'm willing to make new ones too. Thank you everybody, for everything. Stay weird.

#sorry this is long and a bit of tangent this is a long overdue post dsvdfbgfb #i love yall if you are still here after all these years thank you <3

[katy-kt-katie]

Mastermind Chapter 6/9*

Chapter Rating T (Entire Work E) Co-Written with @tofuttim. Read here on AO3. *Remaining Chapters to post daily.

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless

-Lyrics by Taylor Swift

Dana... she hears him say out loud, and in the moment, she repeats under her breath, gasping.... Dana . She was dumbstruck to hear him use her first name and jolted by the butterflies in her stomach that formed as a result of it. She steadied herself and tried to appear in control, before replying to Mulder, “I’m fine thank you, what are you working on?”

She was a basketcase of emotions. Her father; her true North, had passed unexpectedly. She’d been having visions; encounters of him since his death and couldn’t shake it. She’d come into work today almost on autopilot; she couldn’t sit idly at home waiting for the funeral or for him to “visit” her again. 

She had to work.

She’d grown to love working with Mulder on the X-Files. She was still drawn to him more than anyone else in her life. After just a few months, their chemistry was beyond all imagining, so much that many witnesses and suspects they encountered throughout their cases thought they were a couple. Moreover, half of the bureau thought they were sleeping together; “Mr. and Mrs. Spooky” were always a hot topic of choice around the water coolers.

She couldn't hardly blame the chatter, Mr and Mrs Spooky wouldn't be too far off if you quantified how much time they spent together; almost every waking hour by each other’s side and often Mulder would make late night phone calls to her when he couldn't sleep. As for a personal life outside work, one failed blind date was all she even attempted; she really wasn't interested in anyone else, anyway.

Although theirrelationship was not romantic,  it was quickly intense and important. Scully noted times when Mulder had admitted to feeling protective of the X-Files and of her. And by this point the number of times they had saved each other's life was countless. Their bond was solid.

Their closeness touched Scully’s heart. Growing up as a military kid, the constant moving from assignment to assignment did not afford her regular close friends. Even when she had made a friend, her intellect and stubbornness seemed to turn other children off. After childhood tears, she learned her lesson and built adult friendships on only superficial facets of her personality. Still her friends were few.

He’s such a good friend, maybe my best friend… she thought to herself, studying him as he talked about Luther Boggs. 

“I think you should take some time,” he said to her, concerned and leaning into her space. Lately she had noticed just how close Mulder stood to her while they spoke. At first she thought it was because he needed privacy for their conversations- but more often than not, it was an everyday occurrence even for the most mundane conversation, a product of their comfort with each other.

“I need to work,” Scully said; she did. She couldn’t sit idly by mourning her dad, she needed the distraction. She needed to be with Mulder.

“I’m sorry about your father,” he said, cupping her cheek in an intimate gesture, feeling his care radiate through her, and it took all her power to not gasp or lean into his hand. 

//

My sweet friend, please take care of yourself , he thought, as he touched her cheek. Her sad eyes evoked a melancholy energy that passed through his body. He wanted to take the sadness and hurt from her. He wanted to carry it away, far from her heart.

Scully had quickly become the most important person in his life; this tiny spy that was sent to discredit his work. Instead, she listened to him and cared for him. She protected him.

Sure he had the gunmen.  Frohike in particular, was always willing to lend an ear to him. But their friendship paled in comparison to Scully. She brought light and positivity into his darkness. She was present and authentic. While she challenged him on almost every case, she was fiercely loyal and kept him honest. He felt she truly cared for him.

He didn’t know how’d he’d gotten so lucky, going from not wanting a partner, begrudgingly accepting one and now never wanting to be without her.He had her and…she’s the best friend I’ve ever had, he thought as his hand held solidly against her cheek.

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

Now three years into their partnership, their friendship sated her Mulder appetite, but she continued to slowly scaffold the pieces of their relationship towards their inevitable intimate future. The things they’d seen together, what they’d gone through; their bond seemed impenetrable. She felt like she loved him from their first days together and she hoped he loved her too, although they never discussed such things.

Scully had become quite unflappable over the years, but as she sat, watching Mulder next to a  SWAT officer, suiting up to prepare to enter the active crime scenecaused by Robert Modell aka Pusher, she couldn’t help but feel incredibly anxious and sad; she knew he could see it on her face. 

He knelt before her now at eye level, leaning in, smiling just a bit as he placed his gun in her lap. He tried to convince her that Pusher wouldn’t get the best of him. His hands had not moved from her lap, and her eyes welled with tears as she placed her hand on his, a last connection before he left for his mission; she felt love radiate from him to her and back, like a spark of energy on an infinite loop.

But as she watched Mulder get held at gunpoint by Pusher on his video feed, she felt her heart burst, the energy exploding out of her. Against the advice of the SWAT team sergeant, she ran to him, quickly acquiring a Kevlar vest before she entered the hospital.

She entered the room where Mulder and Pusher sat in a seeming stare off, not shifting their eyes as she joined them.They were sitting at a table facing each other with a fully loaded gun in between them, a clear set up for a game of Russian roulette.  Scully could tell Pusher had taken control of Mulder’s thoughts and choices. 

Scully started to cry as she watched Mulder, the man she loved, being controlled by a madman. As Mulder pulled the trigger at Modell, the first round empty; she gasped. 

Scully tried to talk sense into Mulder, hoping that her voice would penetrate the hold Modell had on his mind, but he thoughtlessly pointed the gun at his temple and pulled the trigger, without hesitation. Empty again; but Scully knew eventually someone would die from this game that was only being played for Modell’s entertainment.

Standing up, she banged her hands on the table, “No! Damn you! You bastard!” Scully screamed at Modell, crying. “Mulder hand me the gun!” She reached for the gun in Mulder’s hand, but he quickly smacked her hand away. She stood in shock for a moment, before Mulder slowly pointed the gun at her. 

Scully gasped, still crying, trying to break through the pushing to get to Mulder’s mind and heart. She tried to reason with him, but his movements appeared locked under Modell’s control.  His words seemed to break free as he said, “I’m going to kill you Modell,” with heavy irritation and “Scully Run!” with fatal concern and desperation. 

He was panting and shaking, hesitating with all his might. She thought fast and saw a fire alarm on the hallway wall behind her in the reflection of a mirror. She quickly turned around and ran toward the fire alarm, pulling it, breaking the spell. Without hesitation, Mulder stood up, throwing the table that was between him and Modell out of his way, turning the gun and firing it into Modell.

In the moments after, Mulder wouldn’t look at her. She realized he probably thought she was incredibly upset with him; having pointed a gun at her and almost firing the loaded chamber. But she knew in that moment how much he loved her; even Pusher couldn't get him to take the shot at her, even after Mulder had so effortlessly pulled the trigger at himself.

The next day as they stood together, watching a dying Modell at the hospital, she gently grabbed his hand and he squeezed hers back. She felt their exchange of energy and she knew; he loves me.

 //

God, I love you , he thought as her hand grabbed his. He’d realized it for a while now and it scared him. He’d always been a bit of a lone wolf, but he realized he loved her so much he wanted to protect her over himself, in any situation. Is it a risk to feel this way about my partner? He wondered. Is this a critical weakness, which if exposed by nefarious forces, would put them both at risk?

He was enamored with Diana when she was his partner, but he now realized it was trivial in comparison to the all consuming love he felt for Scully.. No matter what, he knew his love was intensifying more and more, and despite his concerns, he didn’t want to be separated from her. In fact, anymore, he hardly wanted to spend any time away from her. She was his constant.

Their love for each other only growing by the minute.

#today-in-fic #the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #beyond the sea #pusher #friendship #lovers

[sandythereadingcafe]

COVER REVEAL

Title: Notorious Author: Author K E Osborn Series: L.A. Defiance MC, book one Release Date: February 12. 2024 Cover Designer: Designs by Dana Photographer: Wander Aguiar Cover Model: Johnny James.

Preorder Link: Amazon US: https://amzn.to/3S30DbY Worldwide: https://geni.us/notoriousevents

Blurb: Nothing but death surrounds me. For years, I've lived with the ghosts of the people who have died because of me. I hear their screams, I see their bodies.

Like a never-ending circle, the vision replays in my mind. Hiding, locking myself away when the voices in my head get too loud, is my only saving grace. That is until one wild night, I meet Haven at a bar. She's crazy, uninhibited, a little unhinged. Everything I didn't know I needed.

By chance, she shows up at the clubhouse a week later—our connection instant. But war is brewing between the club and the Rojas Cartel. We're on shaky ground, and tensions are high. While Haven is staying at the LA Defiance clubhouse, I notice her inquisitiveness. It seems innocent at the time, but when everything comes to light, the betrayal is brutal, and nothing is as it seems. There's so much more going on than I could have possibly imagined.

Secrets are revealed, enemies are closer than I could have predicted, and the war I am fighting in my head, is about to consume my entire world.

From USA Today Bestselling Author K E Osborn comes the highly desired first book in the LA Defiance MC Series.

This is a secret identity, age gap, suspense romance book, and can be read as a standalone.

Author Bio:

With a flair for all things creative, USA Today Bestselling Author K E Osborn, is drawn to the written word. Exciting worlds and characters flow through her veins, coming to life on the page as she laughs, cries, and becomes enveloped in the storyline right along with you. She's entirely at home when writing sassy heroines and alpha males that rise from the ashes of their pasts. K E Osborn comforts herself with tea and Netflix, after all, who doesn't love a good binge?

Explosive. Addictive. Romance. www.keosbornauthor.com

Author Links: In case you'd like to check out my books, here's where you can find them!

Amazon: amazon.com/author/keosborn Facebook: Author K E Osborn BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/k-e-osborn Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/KEOsbornAuthor Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@keosborn.author Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keosbornauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/KEOsbornAuthor Website: www.keosbornauthor.com

Email: [email protected]

Join my mailing list to receive my newsletters on upcoming releases, special events and general info regarding K E Osborn Author. http://bit.ly/keosbornnewsletter

Chaotic Creatives The Blog

#books #cover reveals #Notorious #LA Defiance MC #KE Osborn

[kjmellow]

I posted 429 times in 2022

That's 428 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (3%)

415 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dyonisia96

@nightscavalry

@johannesviii

@alyona11

@lelelego

I tagged 391 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#yes - 5 posts

#babies - 4 posts

#wow - 4 posts

#also op your board game q made me sad bc i've literally never played any of those and only heard of like two this girl had no childhood - 3 posts

#doctor who - 3 posts

#owo it's all of dem space-time blorbos!!!! - 2 posts

#the stars don't come out because they never left - 2 posts

#omg - 2 posts

#except i didn't play fnaf but have binged playthroughs from like five different people aaaa - 2 posts

#why am i in love with leela's outfit - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if anything they barely interact with the tardis in what i've been reading and i've read like twenty-five books all about different doctors

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Seeing Sandman posts on my feed is so confusing because for such a long time the only Dream I saw shit about was that Minecraft guy and every time I see Dream my first though is The fuck that smp guy did this time and my brain takes a fucking minute to process that it's a wrong fandom

3 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

WAIT DID THEY REALLY JUST

Did they just take THE SAME Bee and Puppycat and make it LONGER for Netflix??????

Does that mean I didn't have to rewatch it twice in a row to comprehend at least a lil bit what tf was going on???? I had to just wait for a normal show?????

Not like I mind, the cartoon is gorgeous either way (I'm on ep one btw and I think at least the first of Bee's weird dreams looked cooler in the og show) BUT MAN

I never thought I'd actually see the day

6 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#3

Petition for Dana Terrace to leave our boi Hunter the fuck alone. Our blorbo has suffered enough.

7 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#2

Hey hermits of tumblr here's a fun challenge for you:

Describe your character quirks i.e. list out habits and traits you have that would make you stand out if you were a character in a work of fiction. This is an exercise in finding something unique about each of us. And also a possible help for writers looking for something to add to their characters ;)

Here's my ✨ character quirks ✨

Hates wearing makeup but likes the process of someone applying makeup on her or doing her hair

Actually uses a set of like a hundred aquarelle pencils instead of eye liner/lipstick/masquerade makeup when she feels extra fancy (usually ends up making rainbow eye liner)

Sometimes acts like a cat around friends she's comfortable with (rubs head, lies with head on knees, purrs when receives pats)

Has a comedic amount of cats (four) and wants more

Has zero coherence in clothing style a bunch of fandom clothes being the only constant thing

Wears exclusively converse spring through autumn (as long as the weather is good enough)

Carries a book around most of the time; in fact spent her prom reading and tuning out the music (which she is extremely proud of and will tell everyone at the first opportune moment)

Swears a whole fucking lot

Quotes memes/films/TV shows a lot or at least really wants to with the only thing stopping her the fact that she knows a quote she has in mind is too niche to be understood

Absolutely cannot sleep with the lights on or during the day; will wake up at dawn if the curtains aren't drawn

Grandma friend: will try to feed you everything there is in the house if you come visit

Some people spend tons of money on clothes; others can't walk past a make-up shop; this bitch has no self-control when entering a bookstore (in fact she would refuse to spend too much on food but then she goes near a bookstore and wakes up an hour later with two bags of books)

Compliments friends in fairly smooth pick-up lines at any given opportunity

8 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

19 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #love how I actually suddenly became super active here #like literally out of nowhere lmao

[bugpoke]

here’s some tiny sketches of some OCs with their respective pride flags!

in case you need it, from top left to bottom right: Silas (bi+trans), Carmine (gay+nonbinary), Dana (lesbian), Floyd (bi+agender) :)

#my ocs #this is the first time i've drawn dana #my bf designed her as well as carmine and we work together to finalize things design wise #we put a lot of love into them #silas #carmine #dana #floyd #sketches

[shewholovestoread]

Question cause I wanna know your thoughts. On the night where Dani, Gigi & Micah went out, Gigi runs into Bette and I think this is the scene where Bette tells Gigi she isn't enough (correct me if I'm wrong tho) Do you think that's why she confesses to Dani afterwards? As a sort-of rebound?( I dunno… i always found that kinda off, how she moved so quickly from one to the other)

Hi Anon.

I think both Gigi and Dani had a horrible time at Dana's. Gigi thanks to Bette's cruel rebuff and Dani because of Sophie being an idiot.

I think the reason Gigi tells Dani that her feelings have changed, is in part because, even though they were miserable at the party, together they managed to overcome that misery and actually start having fun again. They made each other feel better. Was it great timing on Gigi's part? Probably not. But I think she just didn't want to wait anymore.

This is Gigi's reaction in the bar when Sophie sends her the drink:

Gigi's NOT happy, in fact, she's plain annoyed. That's not the reaction of a woman who's not emotionally involved. It's the first time I've seen this reaction from her.

Another important point is that Gigi was drawn to Dani during their very first dinner. They spoke about more personal stuff than Gigi and Bette did in all the time they spent together. And both Dani and Gigi felt the attraction.

I think Gigi had feelings when they meet at Dani's flat but she doesn't say anything because Dani's already had a very difficult day. The night after Dana's, I think Gigi just decided to go for it. And I think she was pretty confident about Dani's feelings being the same or close to being the same, hence her surprise when Dani says that her confession was shitty.

Anyway, I hope my long-winded reply answers your question.

#gigi ghorbani #dani núñez #dani nunez #gigi x dani #dani x gigi #gini #sepideh moafi #arienne mandi #the l word #the l word gen q s2 #the l word generation q #tlwgq

[arcatsk]

I posted 180 times in 2021

81 posts created (45%)

99 posts reblogged (55%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.2 posts.

I added 372 tags in 2021

#arcatskart - 70 posts

#yugioh - 62 posts

#seto kaiba - 57 posts

#yami yugi - 54 posts

#prideshipping - 46 posts

#atem - 46 posts

#yugioh zine - 13 posts

#ygo zine - 11 posts

#ygo - 7 posts

#orichalcos - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 53 characters

#depression is still here and i reflect it on the boys

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

He lost a bet... (Major thanks to @screechyaurora)

154 notes • Posted 2021-01-22 21:31:06 GMT

#4

See the full post

175 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 17:45:45 GMT

#3

“Stay..” Happy 5th DSoD anniversary! (what do you mean I'm late as usual?) Time to celebrate with more prideshipping!! (which..I haven't drawn lately..sorryyyy....) My headcannon is that soon after their epic duel, Kaiba collapsed of no energy because staying in the afterlife takes it's toll. He woke up few hours later in a royal bedroom while Atem watches over him with worry.

185 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 09:03:17 GMT

#2

Found this GEM via Couple Quotes (kudos if you can help me find the original post so I can credit):

Instantly thought of:

198 notes • Posted 2021-09-29 08:54:21 GMT

#1

It's that time of the year again!! It's my birthday!! (yup it's 00:00 where I am and I have tons of balloons with me now so.. AAAAA!!) And this year is a special one, I turn 30! I'm one of the elders of the fandom!!!  

And as of every birthday-I present you the annual prideshipping pic -or in our special case -animatic! Since I'm a 2d animation student those days, I found big interest in rotoscoping, which is animation draw-over.

Sooo.. I present you the idea that came to me in a dream (and I felt the HUGE urge to make it happen)

Avatar and The Legend of Korra have been a huge influence on me and I thought it would be nice to pay it a tribute with our boys (and Dartz).

It was a big challenge and please don't judge me too hard on that one since it's one of my first attempts, and future works will be better (that's how I say Yami's hair in different angles makes no sense and me and ScreechyAurora broke the senses of logic to understand it (shootout to Val and Dana for cheering me up during this mess of a project I made to myself)). Anyways, I had lots of fun drawing those 200 frames (in the time I wasn't crying the "why I've done this to myself" song)

So, in case you didn't see the legend of Korra (go watch it and come back, you!) - Yami is the Avatar who can control all 4 elements of nature, Dartz is their enemy who can take away anyone's bending powers (or soul XD) and Kaiba is a fire/electricity bender who sworn to protect Yami (episodes 177-182 much?!) I hope my mess of crossover is clear now ^w^

Woo that was a long description, now to go to sleep cause I have a lesson later today XD i'll probably add to the description later...

292 notes • Posted 2021-01-28 22:12:42 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that was a prideshippy year!!!! #<3 thank you all for the support <3<3<3 #I'll post more probably till the end of the year #I'm in a bloody mood hehehehehehe

[cavehags]

excellent conversation with rob, charlotte and jessie from mythic quest on the learning lots podcast today. i really liked the following exchange:

charlotte: mythic quest as a show is about leadership. like if you look at every single character, you do get to see these different archetypes. like jo... jo is the personification of how power and leadership are two different things. like she doesn't want to be a leader, she wants to have power.

jessie: yeah, definitely. my character, we've established in the first season, has this addiction to power. and in season two we get to kind of explore what happens when she ditches the baby aspirin that is david brittlesbee and she gets turned onto the hard stuff, which she finds in brad bakshi. and we get to watch what happens to her when she taps into that main vein of power. and it's really fun getting to follow her through this addiction cycle. and it really has nothing to do with leadership. i think she's drawn to really great leaders, but i don't think she herself is a leader, i don't think she understands that power instills leadership into people. all she wants is the opportunity to be in charge. but i don't think she would know what to do if she were in charge.

charlotte: and then ashly burch plays rachel, and she's been fighting for some form of leadership, and then when she gets given that opportunity she doesn't know what to do with it. and then on the other side of the spectrum you have imani hakim's character dana, who isn't necessarily seeking leadership but does know what she wants to do. and rob's character ian is a good leader. he inspires people. he can't make a video game on his own though; he doesn't have those skills. whereas poppy in a way is the opposite. she has all the skills she needs to do the technical side of her job but then when she's given the power to actually lead a group, it brings out the worst qualities in her. and i don't know how much i've seen that in film and television--like the bad girlboss?

jessie: yeah, i love that. i find it really refreshing.

charlotte: i honestly hadn't thought of poppy as a girlboss before. because we do attribute such specific things to that trope. often when we're talking about women in leadership, we expect certain things of them, and one of them is that they're always likable and they're always competent. we have much higher expectations for women in leadership roles than we do for men.

jessie: mhm.

charlotte: the role models that a lot of women have are male leaders. and for poppy, in our story, her role model for a leader was ian, who had very masculine ways that he led, and so she's trying to mimic a lot of it. and it's not authentic to the way that she would work if she didn't feel like she had to exist in particular structures. she expects that everyone should just respect her because she's the boss.

jessie: right.

charlotte: which is what we do with men, right? i mean not to get up on a soapbox about it, but it is! we see a man in charge and we go, "oh yeah, you belong there, i'll listen to whatever you have to say." whereas when you see a woman in charge, you're often like, "alright, prove yourself."

jessie: which is where we get terms like girlboss!

charlotte: yes!

jessie: which like immediately cuts down - if you are the boss of a company and you're being called a girlboss...

[...]

charlotte: and i think that's part of what makes the second season of mythic quest, the story of poppy so interesting, is because she is uncertain, she does fail, she is imperfect, and a lot of the time she's very unlikable. so much of her frustration stems from "well why aren't people just doing what i say?" and there's like a line in one of the earlier episodes of the season where she's like, "i just want a group of people that, like, look up to me with fear and awe and don't question anything that i have to say."

jessie: right.

charlotte: that's ridiculous! that's not what being a boss is, that's not what leadership is. but up until this point, that's how she sees what being a boss is, 'cause she sees everyone revert to whatever ian has to say and ignore her, and she's assumed that it's because he's the boss and she's not. but now she's the boss and she's like "why [are] people still not listening to me?" and it turns her into a bit of an arsehole. and so it makes you ask those questions of "well how much opportunity do you give a person to figure out how to lead?"

#mythic quest #charlotte nicdao #jessie ennis

[mlmxreader]

Expectations | John Fitzgerald Byers x gn!reader

request: "General

50 "Every time I think I'm close to finally figuring you out you end up surprising me."

With John Fitzgerald Byers

(I realised that the lone gunmen were impressive people I mean yeah all their knowledge is to debunk things but the quantity of things they know? In a really large amount of topics???)" - anonymous

summary: the Lone Gunmen are always defeating your expectations, but Byers has just the surprise to completely destroy them in the best of ways.

warnings: none!

You thought that you had them all figured out, that you knew every inch of the Gunmen and how they ticked, after spending so much time with them after meeting through Dana Scully, a mutual friend, and you had been immediately drawn to them; you and Langly grew close through your mutual taste in music, spending your time together listening to new albums that were released and talking, in depth, about the different bands. You and Frohike bonded over cooking, as you had started to help him out and quite often exchanged recipes with one another when there wasn't much going on. But you and Byers, that was... that was different.

Your relationship to Byers was different to your relationship with the others, you were a lot... closer. And the bond between you wasn't strictly platonic, either; long nights in his embrace, hogging his duvet as you kept him as close as he would let you, laying your leg over his thigh whilst sitting at the dinner table, letting him sit on your lap whenever you had the time to be away from everybody else. You loved to see him blush, to see him stutter and grin when you got close with him, when physical affection was more common than anything else.

But even you had your expectations when it came to him; a square, you thought that he would never make the first move to confirm the romantic relationship, you thought he would simply lie in wait for you instead.

So when he gently ran his hand up and down your arm as he laid behind you, hardly able to keep his eyes open from where sleep was beginning to take over, contentment and tranquility rife in the little section of the office he called his bedroom, and he spoke up - you were a little more than shocked.

"What... what would... what would you say if we... we were more than friends?"

You pressed yourself into him a little further, stealing a little more warmth as you sighed heavily and hummed softly, not really wanting to say anything but also needing to answer his question, if only for your own expectations.

"I'd say yes, but..."

Byers froze up a little. "But?"

"But what's got you so brave?" You chuckled quietly. "I'd never have expected you to make the first move."

"I just..." even he hardly had an answer, knowing that it only slipped out because he was too content to keep it down. "I just wanted, wanted to ask."

You rolled over so that you were facing him, your lips so close to his that you only had to move ever so slightly, and the way you felt his breath fan across your features was nothing like you had ever felt before, making you press down a soft moan that threatened to bubble up from the back of your throat. "Every time I think I'm close to finally figuring you out you end up surprising me... I've always liked that about you."

His features started to burn pink as he stiffened up and smiled. "Y-you have?"

"Yeah," you brought your hand up to gently trace the outline of his beard on one side. "You're always defeating my expectations, it's... it's one of the things that I... like about you, a lot, and if you wanted to... I'd be happy to be more than friends."

"I want to," Byers agreed. "I really want to."

#mlem writes #john fitzgerald byers x reader #john fitzgerald byers #john byers #the x files fanfic #x files fanfic #the x files #x files

[huggiesforholly]

Chemo: Rounds Two & Three, Cycle One - Fight!

"You can't come in without Hailey now." By the third week of chemo, I started to know what to expect. My port would get accessed (they didn't prick it in the right spot again the second week but finally on the third week they got it on the first try so third time's a charm I guess!), I would get blood drawn and meet with the oncologist while we waited for the blood work results to come back to make sure everything looked okay to get treatment that day, and then I would get situated in the infusion room with the pre-meds, wait a half hour for those to kick in and then *finally* begin the chemotherapy medication(s). It was quite the process! From start to finish, I'm there for at least three hours but usually closer to four. Despite knowing more of what would happen and how long I would be there, it didn't make it any less difficult not having anyone in the infusion room with me. I understand because of Covid that limiting the amount of people to prevent the spread of illnesses is important, especially with patient's weakened immune systems, but the loneliness can be hard to handle. Just to have someone to sit with you to talk to or to flag down a nurse if you need something would be nice. That's not to say that the nurses there are not kind or attentive. On the contrary, I have nothing but good things to say about all of the nurses and understand that they can't be with you the entire time. The only consolation is that I can have someone come in with me to talk with the oncologist before treatment. That is very helpful to have another set of ears to remember everything that's being discussed and someone else there to ask questions. It also gives me a needed few more minutes to spend with Eric and Hailey. And speaking of Hailey, she is a big hit at the office and a great mood boost for everyone. I was told that I can't come in without her now to which I have no objection.

While I'm talking about Hailey, between weeks two and three of chemo we celebrated her turning six months old! Everyone always says how quickly babies/ kids grow up but I don't think I fully realized that until we had Hailey. I've noticed it with my nieces and nephews to a certain extent but we don't see them that often so naturally each time we get together they change. But seeing Hailey every day and watching her grow right in front of our eyes has been crazy. I don't understand where the time has gone! We had the same friend who took our maternity and Christmas pictures take some six month photos along with a few of us in breast cancer shirts. I don't know if it was because of the circumstances (we wanted to have some nice family photos taken before *if* I started to lose my hair) but I think these pictures of us were her best yet! So I just wanted to give a special shout-out to her for doing a beautiful job of capturing my family during a difficult time in our lives. And before I return to chemo talk, I'm happy to report that Hailey has made the adjustment from breast milk to formula rather smoothly and she is now sleeping overnights in her own room in her crib. She recently had her appointment at the pediatrician and she's very healthy and can start to eat solid foods. I'm so happy to have her to keep me busy and to have constant, exciting moments to look forward to!

Besides only getting one medication (Taxol) as opposed to the three, the best part of rounds two and three of this cycle of meds was that the oncologist switched me to Benadryl pills instead of the IV. Even though it still made me tired, the overall effects were not nearly as harsh as that first week of chemo. Thankfully neither were the side effects in the days following treatment. I still had some stomach cramping, appetite issues, and fatigue but it was manageable. It was the dread of starting a new cycle in a few weeks that was bothering me more. But at least I had the distraction of another trip to Dana Farber to fill my time. As long of a day as it makes going to Boston and the reason for going isn't fun, it's nice to be able to spend some time with Eric. We don't get a lot of time together just the two of us anymore so a long car ride where we can just talk and be with eachother is enjoyable. More on that trip in the next post.

#breast cancer #cancer diagnosis #new mom #chemo #chemotherapy #sixmonthsold #family #keep fighting