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#this is what happens when you let an american and a canadian date
cuddly-kitkat · 5 months
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my boyfriend of three years is canadian and usually when I'm visiting him we end up eating at fast food places because travel, even short distance, across the border is expensive and sucks ass and sometimes we don't have time money or energy to cook
anyway
we were talking about Tim Hortons the other day and I could not for the life of me remember what Timbits were called so I was like man I could go for some Horton Holes and my boyfriend just goes
You What?
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Information on kosa because 99% of people on social media are either trying to scare you or completely take your attention away, and both spread misinformation
(Dated: September 7th 2023)
(Keep in mind, I am a Canadian citizen who only knows a little bit about how government work, so this is all based on what other people who have more knowledge have said)
—it is no one in the US government right now’s first concern. Yes, it’s on the list of things that are going to be discussed at some point, but no it is not far up on that list right now… especially when we’re in natural disaster season, and trying to come up with money to make it through the month whithout a government shutdown (which is also not worth worrying about)
—without the censorship part, it’s actually a good thing and very similar to what many countries already have to stop children from having their data leaked to cause targeted ads
—there are no confirmed dates yet… everyone posting about it seems to have come up with a magical date out of their ass that’s supposed to indicate when it’s being voted on, and none of them are actually correct. September 5th was when senate resumed, and December 15 the current *scheduled* date for the end of the 2324 session, provided nothing happens. Also, just because the senate is back doesn’t mean the house is as well… who is also required to work on the bill
—it doesn’t go immediately from the senate to Biden. What happens is that it’s voted on in the senate, and then the house has to review it to make sure it isn’t going against any rights and is still wise, and at that point in has to go back to the senate, then back to the house and on and on again until they have an agreeable lay out for it… or it might get dropped all together again
—Biden is in support of it… which seems bad, however considering all of the other information and the fact that it might not even look the same when it makes it onto his desk is also worth noting
—the work we’ve been doing to prevent it is actually helping, multiple people involved in the process have changed their minds on supporting it, and since it was announced to be moving to the senate in July it’s lost quite a bit of momentum
—it doesn’t directly impact anyone outside of the states. Sure, similar laws may be introduced if they don’t already exist, but just like eu privacy laws don’t affect Americans, kosa won’t affect those outside of it… also from what I’ve read I highly doubt any social media platforms are going to cease to exist because of it (that is, if it somehow marvellously doesn’t get flagged as going against 1st amendment rights and passes just as is)
—if it’s still in development/debate and doesn’t get placed on bidens desk by December 15th (or whenever this session ends), it’s dead. It can still be reintroduced as it has been I believe twice, but that’s just a deadline we’ve been given as of now for it disappearing this session
So base line, although we aren’t completely out of the woods, the whole thing is a lot less scary and takes a lot longer than it’s made out to be… however, keep calling your senators (including information about you as a caller’s position in this as in if you’re a student, minor, adult, parent, whatever.. makes a difference, especially since most minors don’t get involved in advocacy like this. And call as often as you want), advocating against it on whatever platforms you have, and stop posting videos with misinformation that scares the shit out of teenagers for views… that’s messed tf up
Also, although I don’t recommend looking at tik tok for actual updates, one specific account (@ ariella.elm) has very good, true, and cited information on this
If anyone has any proof I’m accidentally spreading misinformation in this, pretty please let me know.. and until then I shall sign out on this topic
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beardedmrbean · 5 months
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Sjws, there a difference between the residential American/Canadian Indian schools where kids were forcibly removed from their cultures to become “civilized” “adoption”
Vs the desire to adopt a child to give them a better life.
For a group of people that preach “Found family” it’s alarming that these people screech over the idea of white people adopting non white kids because they won’t be part of their “cultures”
What culture? As a foster kid or orphan you experience the absolute worst parts of your culture when you have no family to truly love or take care of you so you feel like nothing more than a burden and start to hate your culture more than any white person can make you feel
It’s disgusting that people deadass as go “Yes I want a child to be at the mercy of abusive people far more than the average person with parents”
Sorry I see this discourse with black American kids constantly….bitch it heavily documented what happens in orphanages and many foster homes. You would rather a child go through hell than be in a loving family because they will be one out of the MILLIONS of people who didn’t “experience” their cultures?
The American parents that I could see trying to adopt kids from gaza might actually be guilty of the whole genocide thing actually the more I think about it.
I mean are they going to be doing this with their new child
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Are the people that are adopting these kids going to teach them all of the life lessons they'd miss out on if they weren't adopted?
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Link to the gallery
Given the dates on some of these images, I imagine some of these no longer kids were involved with 10/7.
And will their adopted parents let them participate in this time honored tradition, or will they teach the kids to love instead.
Anytime someone who chants 'from the river to the sea' unironically accuses another person of supporting genocide Allah kills a litter of kittens and a family of giraffe's.
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steensenthiesen40 · 4 days
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A Forgotten Marketing Tool - The Postcard
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langstonblock25 · 16 days
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Are You Ready Provide Your Business
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wormnicolajsen14 · 19 days
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Don't Let A Organization Cost You Your Family
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idk what "podcast" means instead of "commentary" for "zero to murder in sixty seconds" but ok
Steve Franks, Jason Berger, Saladin Patterson
SP: Here is Shawn learning it's not about the bells & whistles, it's about putting your nose to the grindstone
Shoestring budges
SP: Shawn & Gus are, at any point, only seconds away from racing each other
SP: You can see my writing improves as the episode goes on
They really are too much like their current selves, & I kind of blame Gus's parents for that one. Let them look more 80s
School community centre that they let them use for filming. They have classes going on in there
You're right, shows DON'T have theme songs as much these days
Michael McMurray DP Mel Damski
Gave Tim & Maggie some good stuff to play
SP: I love writing for that car too
Woah they filmed in the kitchen of the river rock casino??
SP: I need to put Chelsea into every episode I write because that's my wife's name
JB: Sometimes you can look in the back & see a canadian flag SP: You can hear his canadian accent sometimes Me: isn't a canadian accent a lot like a typical american accent? (canadian as in, not maritime/east coast & american as in, not heavily new york or southern or east coast)
JB: Look at that shot right there, That's a sexy shot. SP: We don't see Shawn /moving/ on the motorcycle too often
Obscure Judd Nelson films Wheelie & the chopper bunch
JB: Drinking games, how many times do they say shop shop in the episode
It really was a warehouse by the train tracks JB: Not that I've ever been to a chop shop but this is exactly what a chop shop looks like
The dining room is the river rock dining room too
Yeah, that's true, actors need to be in each scene but they film out of order, & it's hard for the wardrobe & lighting people too
The boy cat episode!
"I call the big one Little Shawn"
Set design my beloved
"My writing is what got James & Maggie dating"
Wang Miranda!
Avion spray
SP: Shawn is on bugs bunny rules
This was somebody's house? spanish style house in canada? "they only let you use the guest bathroom by the garage" what XD
"their sense of massage is heightened"
what do you MEAN canadian accent? Newfoundland accent like irish? pei? nova scotia like toned down scottish? Do you mean cowboy-french in quebec? Real cowboy central canadian Alberta (the texas of canada)? Good rezzy talk? BC the california of Canada? canadians sound like americans to me, except americans say sh not st, shrawberry not strawberry, shtop not stop.
Gus without missing a beat just lands it
SP: Gus knows how to be uptight while also knowing how to be cool
JB: This is my car actually. I missed a counple of derbies.
The car was a funny bit
"fresh to death" actually fresh to def "the whitest park of wikipedia I could find"
They never want to do shows with animals or kids
"this police vest was taken from the set of Bad Boys II"
SP: I have a cavity & filling-free mouth, that's why Gus is based on me
Oh no yeah I heard it. Bin not been.
*arguing about what fish it is* SP: It smelled... JB: Caught by Corbin!
I had to do this for school. CB cut many of the fish himself, though some were by a double. A fish double.
*his shirt is the same colour as the tree behind him* & other times it matches the curtains XD
"Dule loves the "i'm about to vomit" look"
"always playing the dad"
Ok less commenting now bc I need to peel my bones
the frog has a name
*gambling between shots
"When I do smuggle drugs" XD
JB & SP *going out for a massage* "this is based on something that happened to you & I Me: What platonically going out for massages with a blind massage therapist & her only available slot is a couples session & one of you says yeah that's fine & the other says no thank you because the two of you are not in a romance?
Noooo they forgot some credits
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starfish-enterprise · 11 months
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my dad is going to see family in Ireland and England then going to just hang out in France for a bit so last yesterday before I drove him to the airport he handed me this weird basket I had never seen before full of little jars and bags or random coins, and requested I sort out the pounds and euros so he could take them on his trip. of course he knows exactly how to harness my autism and I happily sorted coins. on top of pounds and euros denominations represented include:
Canadian and US Dollars, highest being like a billion American pennies
some Namibian paper money
Cuban pesos, as well as Cuban convertible pesos which they don't use anymore
lots of Franks
some coins that I think we're from Spain
a few coins from Hong Kong
a surprising amount of currency from Barbados
while I was amassing pounds I happened upon a one shilling coin, my father confirmed no we don't use shillings anymore, and I wondered how long has it been since the UK got rid of shillings?
this simple question led me to the discovery of simultaneously the most wild and the most British thing I've ever heard of:
Decimal Day
what is decimal day? you may be asking yourself if you are a north American millennial like myself
February 15, 1971 the UK and Ireland switched it's currency from pounds, shillings, and pence to just pounds and pence, and switched the currency from the most unhinged imaginable base 12 currency system, to a much more reasonable base 10 system
(this probably had something to do with the UK switching from imperial to metric measurements, but I didn't google that)
in order to understand how unhinged British money was, let's look at some conversions:
12 pence = 1 shilling
20 shillings = 1 pound
240 pence = 1 pound
like.... what? I cannot IMAGINE
also, when they switched they had new pence, as if everything wasn't wild enough enough already. my dad remembers the switch happening. he says counting money was way easier after, but it was something both his grandmother's were very concerned about. he thinks they had a cake.
anyway, shillings remained legal tender until 1990 and were worth five new pence (not old pence, be careful). after 1990 they were removed from circulation. I cannot IMAGINE the hassle of trying to manage that transition as a cashier.
I did find in the Coin Box some coins that said five new pence, and then some that just said five pence, but I didn't think to look at the dates on them though.
and there we have
Decimal Day
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jasonblaze72 · 1 year
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kallulovesu · 3 years
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Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺
For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3
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(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭
That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™
It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.
So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.
You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.
Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.
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Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.
It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.
Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.
He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.
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Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.
Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!
He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”
On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.
Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.
This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.
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A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!
Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?
He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.
Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.
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Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!
But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!
He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.
Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.
His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.
Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.
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Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!
Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.
Ivan appreciated you a lot.
It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.
So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.
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princessphilly · 3 years
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Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah @joelsfarabee @besthockeyfics @dreamer1430 @defiant-mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol @t0xickisses2 @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @tangercrosbyschultzfan25887 @shelbsatans​
CW: soft smut, mentions of miscarriage, fucked up doctors. 
This is definitely it. Sid and Nina’s story is over but you will see them in the other fics of this universe, including a huge part of Plain Jane
Nina stared at the boxes. It was time to pack but at the same time, she couldn’t do it. 
They were so excited. A baby so early in their marriage had seemed scary but Sid and Nina were ready. They had picked out colors, a room for a nursery, and had begun to discreetly pick up supplies. 
It was nineteen weeks; still early but they were getting ready to announce. Then there was the blood in the toilet three days ago when Nina woke up and went to the bathroom. And now, their first, a girl, was gone. 
The doctor was sympathetic, and said it happens a lot. Most pregnancies never make it to birth, she said. But it hurt that their girl was now an angel. Nina sniffled as she packed the pack-and-play back into the box. 
“Hey, why are you doing that? You’re supposed to rest!”
Nina looked up, tears in her eyes. Sidney rushed to her, lowering himself to the floor. Gathering his wife in his arms, he soothed, “Pretty girl, we’ll have more.”
“But-but-“
Nina’s tears turned into sobs as she relaxed in her husband’s arms. Her momma had a history of miscarriages: what if that meant that there would never be a child?
As if he could read her mind, Sidney replied, “it doesn’t matter, I love you no matter what.”
**
Nina was sleeping, finally getting some rest. Matthew was napping on Sidney’s chest, his little boy still red but much calmer. 
It hadn’t been an easy birth for Nina. This was their third pregnancy but first child to make it past the 2nd trimester. And Matthew decided to come out three weeks early, November 26 instead of his due date of December 17. 
The door opened and Matthew stirred a bit before settling back down. Sidney looked around: his mother was curled into a chair, reading a book while Tracy was scrolling her phone on the couch. The proud grandfathers had gone out to get lunch for everyone. 
Walking in, the doctor said, “The nurse said Nina is healing nicely but we will have to do some stitches. Your son is a big boy.”
Sidney gave him a tentative grin. Matthew was 9lbs, 4 oz and 22 inches long. He was on the bigger side. The doctor continued, “When I stitch her, I can give her a husband stitch, if you like.”
“What is that,” Sidney asked, wrinkling his nose. 
Trina interjected, “Don’t you dare, Sidney.”
In a soothing voice, the doctor said, “it’s an extra stitch to make your wife as tight as she was before she gave birth.” He winked at Sidney. 
Sidney looked at his mother before responding, “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“No,” Nina managed to say, opening her eyes. “I heard about that stitch and I will sue if you do that to me.”
“You heard her.”
Sidney gave the doctor a hard look as he shrugged, preparing to give Nina only the necessary stitches. Passing his boy to his mother, Sidney said, “I’d like a different doctor.”
“What, I’ve been-”
Sidney took out his phone, ready to start making some calls. The doctor left, grumbling under his throat. Nina gave Sidney a grateful smile before dozing off again. 
**
One of the hardest things for Sidney was the fact that it was best for his boy not to grow up in Canada. As a proud Canadian, that rankled him. He wanted Matt to be more Canadian than American. But when a video of 2 year old Matt skating and hitting a puck dead center into the net made major news, Sidney knew he had no choice. He wanted Matt to have more of a childhood than him, to not feel like he had to be the next one. 
So, his family spent most of the year in Pittsburgh and summers in Cole Harbour or on different vacations. Sidney knew that his son was still “famous” but Matt was still treated as a kid. With Nina’s extended family, there wasn’t any preferential treatment. His kids were the same as their cousins in Nina’s family, giving his children normalcy Sidney never had as a child. 
Sidney raked a hand through his silver hair. As much as he wanted Matt to go his own way, it still freaked him out that his son chose to be a *goalie* out of all positions. He winced as he heard a shot hit the post. Then Matt made a glove save and Sid clapped.
“That’s not the talent I expected but he’s already showing signs of being a better goalie than center, Sid.”
Sidney turned to his longtime mentor and now close friend, Mario. Shrugging, he replied, “I just want him to be happy. He’s happy, I’m happy.” 
Sidney smirked. “Plus, Chloe is going to be the best woman’s hockey player ever. She’s 8 and she’s already playing with 10 to 12 year old girls.”
“True,” Mario conceded. “You’ve transitioned from pro to hockey dad.”
“Eh, can’t forget Aja and Morgan. I’m a hockey, figure skating, soccer, and dance dad. Not bad for a fifty year old washed up player.”
“Who’s washed up?”
Sidney grinned as his wife bumped him with her hip. His baby girl was holding Nina’s hand, her hair pulled up into a dancer’s bun. Chloe was right behind her, still clad in her hockey gear, Aja trailing behind with a book in her hands. 
“I am,” Sidney drawled. 
Chloe piped up, “No you’re not, Daddy! You’re still the best hockey player ever!”
“Yup,” Morgan added while Aja nodded, absorbed in her book. 
“No, you’ll be the best hockey player ever, Chlo’,” Aja stated, closing her book. “Daddy will be the best men’s hockey player.”
As Aja firmly nodded, Sidney and Mario laughed. 
**
Nina let out a breath. It was crazy how just one touch from Sidney made her hot, even seventeen years later. His lips were trailing down her neck, one hand cupping her breasts. “Can you be quiet for me, pretty girl?”
“Uh huh,” Nina breathed out. Sidney’s other hand was exploring her folds. She was getting wet but menopause was finally calling so Nina knew they would need some help. Leaning away from Sidney, she pulled out the lube from the drawer. 
“Thanks, pretty girl, but I’m more interested in burying my face in your pussy,” Sidney laughed. 
Nina replied softly, “No problem. You know my mom just came back from her cruise so the girls will go find her first this morning.”
“Even better. Spread your legs for me, pretty girl. You know what daddy wants.”
Nina let out a giggle that quickly turned into a muffled moan as she felt Sidney’s tongue gently lick through her pussy, his nose nudging her clit the way she liked it. He ate her slowly, bringing Nina close to the edge but never letting her go. Then Sidney stopped, kissing his way up Nina’s body before kissing her, letting Nina taste herself. 
Wrapping her legs around his waist, Nina urged, “Please, Sidney,” managing to keep her voice at a whisper. Before he could answer, they heard some girlish giggles and they both paused. 
“I locked the door last night,” Sidney whispered into Nina’s ear. Nina giggled then moaned as she felt Sidney’s fingers spread the cool lube over her pussy. Then he entered her, nice and slow.
“Love you, pretty girl,” Sidney whispered as Nina arched against him. She was clenching around his cock; he wanted to go slow and savor it this morning but Nina had different ideas. 
Nina whispered, “Love you, too,” her fingernails digging into his back. Then she squeaked as Sidney withdrew, turning her onto her hands and knees.  
**
“Momma, you promised to make breakfast today.”
Nina straggled into the kitchen, her robe wrapped tightly around her body. “Morg, it’s 9:30 in the morning on a Saturday, it’s still morning.”
Chloe piped up, “You’re usually up before us everyday, Momma.”
Nina shared a look with Sidney who squelched a laugh. He had planned to just go one round with his wife but it turned into three to start off the day right. 
Sighing, Nina grabbed bowls to prepare waffles. Morgan added, “Mimi made waffle batter already, Momma.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Nina sincerely stated. 
Tracey shrugged. “I figured I’d give you a break since I’ve been gone. You know I love my grand girls.”
Matthew yawned as he walked into the kitchen, his hair sticking up all over his head. “Hi,” he sleepily said before going to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of Gatorade. 
“It’s too early for energy drinks, Matt,” Sidney chided. 
“Sorry, Dad.”
Matthew was about three weeks from turning twelve and the whole teenage era was coming fast. Now, he was sleeping in and staying up late. Nina sighed, it was too early for one of her babies to grow up. 
“I would have woken up earlier but these girls had to jump on my bed at 7am, Dad,” Matthew complained. “They said your door was locked. Why do they always have to bother me?”
“Because we love you, Matty,” Aja said with a mischievous smile. “And some girl sent you messages while you were asleep.”
Matthew glared at his little sister. “Girls are ugly. Especially girls like you.”
Sid and Nina shared a look. Sid just had “the talk” with Matthew and they were both happy he still saw girls as ugly, at least for now. Tracey said, “Oh baby, that’s no way to talk to your little sister.”
“I’m sorry, Mimi,” Matthew said, giving his grandmother a kiss. “Momma, can we have blueberry waffles today?”
“Plain waffles,” Nina said firmly. “You can add blueberries, strawberries, or peaches as a fruit topping.”
“No chocolate chips?”
Chloe and Morgan gave their mother their biggest puppy-dog eyes. Nina shook her head. They then give Sidney the same look, saying together, “Daddy, can we have chocolate chips with our waffles?”
Sidney laughed as he picked up two of his girls. “You two already know the answer to that!”
Chloe pouted as Morgan laughed at the silly faces Sidney was making. Sidney added, “It’s Saturday so you know today is ice cream day after dinner. Did anyone feed Maddie?”
Nina giggled as she turned on the grill. At the mention of her name, Maddie, their dog, ran into the kitchen. Pharaoh, their cat, followed Maddie in, stretching before walking around her legs. As her family noisily talked, Nina sighed in happiness. She loved her family, life was perfect.
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WE FINISHED SHIPPING OUT ALL PHYSICAL ORDERS (and other important info about your package)!
Hi guys! That’s right! On June 19th, we officially wrapped up packing more than 800 orders of To Hell + Back: A Destiel Anthology and immediately got drunk and partied actually we just talked about the impossible housing market in Vancouver. Barring three orders which were still missing phone numbers, by now everybody else should’ve received a tracking number with their book on the way! 
While we’re relieved that one of the hardest parts of the job is now done and over with, we know that our project is still far from over. With that in mind, we’d like to outline some important info via this handy FAQ about what to look out for as you wait for your package to arrive.
**When are digital books shipping out?**
Right now! As promised, now that we’ve finished shipping all physical books, we’re now switching our focus to digital copies. Please do note that we’ll be shipping digital books in batches, so not everybody is going to get their book at the same time. Why are we doing this? Because sometimes emails bounce and we want to make sure we catch those when they happen. By sending the books out in batches, we can better keep track of these issues.
We will be sending out digital books in the following order: Indiegogo/Big Cartel digital-only backers first, and then everybody else. We feel this order is fair because those of you who didn’t order a physical book have now been waiting a long time and we want to be sure you receive your books at the same time as people begin receiving their physical copies in the mail.
We aim to complete shipping all digital books no later than July 11, but we are working fast in the hopes of finishing by July 5th. 
**I didn’t receive my tracking number!** 
We had multiple checks in place to ensure that we covered every order*** so if you didn’t get an email from Canada Post, please check your junk/spam folder and see if your email might have landed there. If it’s not there either, please message us at [email protected] and we’ll resend you your tracking number. It’s always possible that there might’ve been a typo in the email address that we had on file for you, and if that was the case, then the email containing your tracking number wouldn’t have reached you. That said, even if Canada Post’s email didn’t reach you, you should have received an email from Indiegogo or Big Cartel also indicating your tracking number as we inputted tracking info into these sites too! 
*** A select few packages don’t have tracking numbers. If you purchased a tier that was a merch + E-book combo on Indiegogo (“I’d Rather Have You”; “Cursed or Not”; “I Always Come When You Call”) and live outside Canada and the United States, it was unfortunately not possible for us to generate a mailing label with a tracking number because your parcel was too small. Instead, please keep an eye on your mailbox. Your envelope parcel should reach you within 4-6 weeks.
**The only thing my tracking number says is ELECTRONIC INFORMATION SUBMITTED BY SHIPPER :( When will Canada Post pick up my package?**
All orders were picked up by Canada Post on June 21, 2021. If your tracking still doesn’t show ITEM PICKED UP BY CANADA POST, contact us immediately so we can figure out what’s going on.
**My package didn’t arrive! It says ITEM BEING RETURNED TO SENDER! Help!**
Please contact us IMMEDIATELY if this happens so that we can reroute your package before it’s too late. If the package is returned to us, we get charged for its shipping. Then subsequently shipping has to be paid again to resend it to you! That’s 3x shipping and it’s not good, for either us or you! Please don’t delay a second if this happens. Tell us right away because we are determined to get it back to you! In the words of @justholdingstill, “Over my dead body are they sending it back to us.”   
**When will I receive my package?**
From the point that your tracking displays the message Item picked up by Canada Post, you can expect that:
Canadians will generally receive their packages within 2-4 days, but it can be up to 7 days for remote regions. 
Americans will generally receive their packages within 10-14 days. This includes Guam and Puerto Rico.
All other countries will receive their packages within 4-12 weeks, but we have noticed that these packages are coming WAY faster than that, usually within 2 weeks. Down below is a breakdown of how quickly certain countries have received their fastest package:
Argentina: 15 days 
Finland: 8 days 
Germany: 10 days 
Italy: 16 days 
Mexico: 10 days 
Norway: 18 days 
Russia: 15 days 
United Kingdom: 21 days but so far, this seems to be an exception—only one package has arrived as of today.
All other countries: No package has reached its destination yet that we know of
**I have my tracking number but it’s not showing any movement! Is my package lost?**
Canadians and Americans should have regular updates to their tracking information every couple of days, but please be patient—things happen, packages get rerouted, or sometimes have to sit for a little bit in customs or a sorting facility before moving on to their final destination. 
Likewise for our international backers, you will most likely get regular updates to your tracking information until your package leaves Canada. At this point, you will receive the following notification: International item being forwarded to destination country. From this point onward, you won’t receive any updates to your tracking information for a long time. This is completely normal and it just means that your book is on a boat making its way to your country. After it arrives on shore, you may or may not get more tracking notifications—it will depend on how the next carrier processes your order. In general, for all the international countries that have received packages so far, they have had full tracking upon reaching shore.
**When is my package considered lost? What should I do then? How much time do I have to contact you?**
Canadians should wait 14 days from the day that their package is picked up by Canada Post before contacting us (unless your tracking says that it’s returning to sender, in which case contact us IMMEDIATELY so that we can reroute your package!).
Americans (including Guam and Puerto Rico) should wait 21 days from the day that their package is picked up by Canada Post before contacting us (unless your tracking says that it’s returning to sender, in which case contact us IMMEDIATELY so that we can reroute your package!).
All other nationalities should wait 12 weeks from the day that their package is picked up by Canada Post before contacting us (unless your tracking says that it’s returning to sender, in which case contact us IMMEDIATELY so that we can reroute your package!).
Please don’t contact us before that. We won’t be able to help you earlier than this. We have to talk to Canada Post about your parcel and they won’t take further steps until the waiting period is over. 
When you contact us, please give us the following information via email at [email protected]
Your full name
Your shipping address
Your shipping phone number
Your shipping email
Let us know where you’re an Indiegogo or Big Cartel backer
You have four weeks to contact us after the ‘package-is-officially-lost’ date. For example, if your book was picked up by Canada Post on June 1 and your home address is in a country other than the United States or Canada, you will wait 12 weeks to see if your package arrives. In this example, your package is officially considered lost on September 1. You have four weeks to let us know. In this example, you have until October 1 to tell us that your package is lost. If you tell us after October 1, unfortunately we can’t help you! We have a timeline in place for the official end date of our project and this deadline helps keep us on track to donate our remaining funds to our charity of choice, Wish Vancouver, in a timely manner. Not to mention we’ll be selling off our extra books and if you take too long to contact us, there might not be any remaining books for you to have a replacement!
**My tracking says that my package was delivered but I can’t find it!**
We encourage you first and foremost to ask your neighbours and anybody else who lives with you or around you to see if they might have received it for you. Please also contact your postal service to see if they might have held it for you at the post office. Finally, please keep an eye on your tracking and please try your absolute best to be there to receive it so that there is no chance of your package being stolen. If your tracking information declares that it was delivered, we consider it delivered on our end too and as much as we would like to help you, we’re not a business and as such, our funds are limited and we can’t be responsible for stolen packages. If your package does get stolen though, please let us know and we’ll talk to Canada Post regardless. All our books are insured and if Canada Post agrees to pay the insurance amount, we’ll put aside a book for you from our extras sale. You will still be responsible for paying the full amount of shipping. If Canada Post denies the insurance amount, we can still put a book aside for you but you will have to pay the full amount of the book and shipping. 
**Have any other questions that come to mind?**
As always, please don’t hesitate to shoot us a message! We always strive to get back to you within 48 hours or less, but please note that justholdingstill, casthewise, and pray4jensen/60r3d0m are heading out on a mini vacation to Vancouver Island from June 30 to July 4 so you might not hear from us as promptly at that time! Unfortunately we won’t have cell service or WiFi.
Aside from this, thank you again for your patience and support. We can’t wait to see photos of your books (and shelves and pets and plants!). Be sure to tag us when you do post!
With love,
Your TH+B mods
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amesstm · 3 years
Text
Prom???
Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader
Word Count: 2K
Summary: After coming to Japan as a transfer student from America your senior year, you miss out on prom. The Nekoma volleyball team comes to cheer you up.
A/N: I come from America so this is based off of what I know about prom. I know that prom is usually an American and Canadian thing, but just imagine a big dance where people dress fancy but dance dirty on the floor lol 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prom was the crème de la crème of every American senior’s year. Unfortunately, being a transfer student in Japan meant that you had to travel to Japan in April to start the school year. Now, you were missing out on spending prom season with your friends.
A soft sigh unwillingly escaped your throat as you sat down on the bench in the gym. You pulled out your clipboard, ready to observe any improvements made from the boys today. Since you were spending a year in Japan, you decided that you could afford being a manager for Nekoma’s volleyball team. After some convincing from Kenma, your host family’s son, you agreed. Since you had some knowledge about volleyball from watching the Summer Olympics so much, it wasn’t too difficult fully understanding the tiny details of the game.
You were so engrossed in the multiple papers you had on each member that you didn’t realize that Kuroo, the captain, sat beside you.
“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?” He asked, his minty breath wafting your face. You turned to look at him and was met with concerned eyes that dared you to lie to him. Kuroo always knew what was wrong. Not only was he good at reading the spikers’ movements, but he could also read you just as easily.  
“Let me show you,” you replied as you reached for your phone. You unlocked it and tapped on some photos your friends sent you. They had taken the time to send pictures of prom dresses they thought were cute. Your heart ached when you remembered that you wouldn’t receive a reply until they woke up.
“Ah, it’s... prom, right?” Kuroo said before turning it into a question. You couldn’t expect him to know when most Japanese schools don’t have formal dances.
You nodded with a small pout, “Yeah, prom is very huge in America. I didn’t always want to go but going with my friends seemed really fun.”
Kuroo hummed, probably not understanding the significance of a school dance. After all, the last time he went to one was probably a festival in middle school. But the way you were pouting tugged at Kuroo’s heart.
The captain promised himself he’d focus on getting into nationals and graduate. His dreams could afford no distractions – but why was he enjoying the feeling of being sidetracked? An idea lit itself in Kuroo’s head. He knew exactly what to do.
~
After returning to school on Monday, you witnessed Kuroo act even more weird than usual. You sat behind him in advanced English, waiting for class to start. Obviously, the class was really easy so you could afford not preparing for now.  
Then, you heard murmuring from Kuroo as he hovered over a piece of paper on his desk. Peering from the side, you grumbled that you couldn’t see what he was muttering. His broad shoulders were definitely useful on the court for blocking, but now they were blocking your view.
“Kuroo-san, what are you doing?”  
Your sudden voice must’ve surprised him, because he jumped in his desk and quickly hid the paper. The whites of his eyes were as clear as day and his mouth was still agape. Something clicked in your head.  
“Was that a...” You raised a finger and pulled out your phone to look up the right words. “Was that a dirty note?”
A rush of hyena laughter met your ears, causing everyone to look at you two. You looked up from your phone to see Kuroo hunched over from laughing so hard. You rolled your eyes as he forced himself to calm down, heaving all the while.
“Why? Are you curious, Y/N-chan?” He asked, with his eyebrows wiggling at you. He teased in a manner that could be interpreted in a manner that needed no translation. All you did was blink at him. He whined, “Don’t look at me like that. You look like Kenma when you do that.”
“Kenma taught me well,” you replied, sticking your tongue out. “So, what was that paper?”
“O-oh, I’m just preparing something,” Kuroo said, scratching the back of his neck. A soft pink tinged his cheeks and his eyes averted from yours.  
How suspicious, but cute.
You shrugged, he’d surely tell you what it was sooner or later. Besides, the arrival of the teacher meant you couldn’t pester Kuroo for an answer now.  
Soon, the school day ended with Kuroo still acting odd(er than usual). Kenma found you by your locker to begin your usual walk to the gym after school. Despite attending Nekoma for a month now, you still managed to lose yourself in the big halls. Hence, Kenma was your personal guide unless you two had different classes – aka you two never saw each other except for lunch.  
Once you were finished, Kenma and you walked towards the gym. “Are you excited for practice, Kenma?”
As usual, his short answer was: “No.”
You chuckled, “One day, there’ll be a reason you’re excited for volleyball.”
“Doubt it,” he murmured in return.
A comfortable silence settled between you two. Kenma tapped away on his game and you enjoyed the last bits of sakura season. Sure, the pollen gave you sinus headaches but the photo shoot you had when you first came here was worth it.  
A small trail of sakura flowers led to the entrance of the gym. You joked, “Someone must like sakura flowers.”
Kenma sneezed softly and muttered. “He’s lucky that I like him.”
You raised an eyebrow, about to ask what he meant, until Kenma opened the doors. Upon entering the gym, there was a center of sakura flowers accumulated in the middle. With a grin, Kuroo held up a sign that said: The only flower I want to take to prom is you. ♡
The bold, red letters in English were written with a shaky hand until touched up by someone more confident. Sakura flowers were carefully drawn and colored it, with patches of glitter thrown here and there.  
“Awh, is this for me, Kuroo?” You asked, a smile bursting onto your face. You raised your hands to your face, shielding yourself from the cameras that were pulled out to record.  
Kuroo nodded with a proud smile on his face. You approached him, unsure what to do. After all, this was the first time someone made such an effort into asking you out. “I don’t know if I did this right. I saw some videos of ‘promposals’ on YouTube, but I don’t-”
“This is perfect,” you said, quieting him by putting a finger to his lips. Then, the manager in you began to think logically about how this ‘prom’ would be pulled off. “W-wait, how are you going to do this dance?”
“Don’t worry, I got it covered,” Kuroo smiled confidently, raising a thumb at himself.
~
“Kenma, have you ever went shopping for anything but video games or food?” You asked, as you two drifted to a dress shop that Kenma’s mom had to recommend. Clearly, Kenma knew nothing about these types of shops until you asked him where they would be.  
“Only if Kuroo drags me along to get sports gear,” he said with a shrug. His eyes were glued to a game, but he was still able to reply to you as if he gave you his absolute attention. You could never understand how he has yet to walk into a pole, either.
You shrugged, “Makes sense.”
Upon entering the shop, you two were immediately met with rows on rows of dresses. Drawn by a magnetic pull, you flew towards a section containing your favorite color. Eyes glimmering with the giddiness of a kid in a candy shop, you placed your hand on the silky material.
The best part? It had pockets.
Grinning, you asked a worker if you could try it on. Kenma mindlessly followed you to wait outside the changing rooms. The straps were a bit difficult to sort through; otherwise, it fit like a glove. You stepped out of the fitting room, and called Kenma to attention.
After he paused his game, Kenma looked up. His usual cat eyes widened slightly. “You look pretty.”
You beamed, “Should I get it then?”
Kenma nodded rigorously. Underneath his breath, too low for you to hear, he murmured, “Kuroo will like it a lot.”
~
The volleyball team managed to secure the gym for the event and decorated it to the fullest. You don’t know how they did it in such little time. The lights were dimmed except for some lights that you recognized from Kenma’s set up in his room. Little things here and there were objects that you remember the boys talking about in previous conversations.  
Coach Nekomata smiled kindly as you entered. “You look beautiful, Y/N-san.”
“Thank you, coach,” you replied. “Thank you for doing this, too. I know it must’ve been a lot of work.”
“Oh, it wasn’t! Kuroo set it all up and I just watched,” the old man replied with a hearty laugh straight from his chest.  
You blushed. Kuroo kept his promise. He said he would make it happen and it did. Speaking of which, your date had come prepared from the coach’s room. A small box was in his hands.  
Unlike Kuroo’s usual, confident swagger, he seemed timid as he approached you. “I-I also saw that prom dates give this to each other.”
He opened the box, revealing a beautiful corsage that matched perfectly with your dress.  
“How did you know my dress would look like this? I wanted it to be a surprise.” You pouted.
Kuroo blinked, “Kenma sent me a photo.”
You also blinked. Then you looked to the traitor pudding-head beside the rooster. “KYANMA!”
Blood rushed to your cheeks and you hid behind your hands once more. You murmured, “Ah, I was in my natural state.”
“You’re breath-taking, don’t hide yourself from me,” Kuroo whispered into your ear, hints of a smile in his voice.
Now you were definitely red and about to burst. You laughed, “You’re just saying that.”
“I don’t give away compliments for no reason.” His genuine smile melted away the insecurities that bubbled to the surface. With your facial expression softening, he took the cue to lead you to the dance floor.  
The different colored lights cascaded to drape Kuroo in beautiful lighting. Red was truly his color, as his face was shaded with the hue. Something about the mood shifted as his hands made their way to your waist.  
Deciding to take the lead, Kuroo swung you two back and forth. The song was slow, so he adjusted as needed to match the beat. Should you have told them that American proms were basically fancy clubs with promiscuous music? Probably; although Coach Nekomata would definitely not approve.  
Oh well, I can grind on Kuroo later. Wait -  
“Hey, my eyes are up here,” Kuroo chuckled as he lifted your face to look up at him.
You pouted with a glare, “I-I wasn’t looking at you like that!”
“You wish you were,” Kuroo laughed as your eyes widened.
“Why are you like this?” You scoffed with a roll of your eyes.  
“But you like me, don’t you?” He smirked as his eyes danced with mischief.  
Okay Sky-Daddy, please kill me. As if Kuroo read your face, he hastily said, “Don’t worry, I like you, too.”
Your breath hitched, “But I’ll have to go back to America, Kuroo.”
“I know. Trust me, I know,” Kuroo sighed. “But in the little time that I’ve known you, I’ve already started to like you. Heck, it feels dangerous.”
“I don’t want to start something that might end on other sides of the globe,” you admitted.  
Kuroo’s eyes drooped, “I know.”
“But I want to try,” you reassured. How could you possibly express yourself in a different language right now? Then, you remembered the phrase. It couldn’t be directly translated to English, but the feeling was universal. “It’s like ‘koi no yokan’.”  
Kuroo grinned with a soft laugh, “Exactly. So, we’ll try dating?”
“Yes, Kuroo,” you affirmed with a smile gracing your features.  
“Call me Tetsu.”
72 notes · View notes
princesstillyenna · 2 years
Note
in your gc verse I always think that the gc boys get together whenever they play each other (because duh, season-long gc boys reunions!!!) and today there's oilers vs pens & avs vs leafs & ducks vs vegas soooo what I'm saying is that the magnetic force in north america could be disturbed tonight bc of the amount of gc boys meetings that're gonna happen after the games
Honestly YES YES YES Nonnie this is EXACTLY what happens in the GC verse, they will frequently meet up with people after games. Sid makes a POINT of meeting all of the GC rookies (even though he is currently not in the GC) as does Tyson B (he will sometimes drag Drai and Davo along) So, Oilers Vs Pens, Tyson would insist on hosting Big Jeff C and Sid, and then force Drai and Davo to come round too. Davo doesn't come but Drai does... weird... I wonder where Davo was. Tyson wonder's where Davo was too. He is peak suspish. He thinks he knows (he is not wrong) Avs vs Leafs is just a fucking lovefest ngl. So, first of all Kerfy is like YAS I GET MY BOYS BACK and there is a Kerfy/JT/Josty cuddle pile and they all fucking ignore everyone else. Nate (at Sid's request) goes to check up on Auston and see how he's doing with the LDR thing. They end up going to dinner with JT, Mitch, EJ, Sam and Gabe. Weirdly Willy Nylander tries to tag along. Hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm Leafs vs Ducks.... well... WELL... I started to describe this, and then realised I should just write it. It's under the cut.
"Hey," Brett knocks into Nolan's shoulder as they stand side by side, drinking their coffees at the breakfast bar. "Heading out to Anahiem today."
Nolan grunts in reply.
"Think we should, like, meet up with Zegras or something?"
Nolan frowns, "Why?"
"Uh?" Brett turns to fully take in Nolan's grumpy morning self, it's something that never fails to delight him, how fucking irritable Nolan is in the mornings. "Queer solidarity?"
"He's American." Nolan mutters.
That startles a burst of laughter from Brett, "Nolly," he slides an arm around Nolan's waist, squeezing him, "He is, but wouldn't you have liked to know other queer guys in the league when you started out?"
Nolan shrugs, but he lets his head fall against Brett's, so Brett takes that as tacit approval.
-- "Where are you going?" Jamie asks.
"Out?" Trevor stares blankly, he hadn't prepared an alibi, he's not even sure if he should or not.
"Where?" Jamie asks again, like he deserves to know. To be fair, it's weird for Trevor to go out without him.
"Uh, just meeting some of the knights for dinner. They're in town already?"
"Who the fuck do you know on the Knights?" Jamie presses.
Trever wishes, not for the first time, that he were better at lying. "Patty, and Howdy."
"Nolan Patrick, and Brett Howden?" Jamie stares at him, eyes wide, "But they're Canadian."
"And?" Trevor smirks, "We are actually allowed to talk to people from across the border y'know, I mean, I talk to you don't I?"
"I was more asking how you knew them?" Jamie rolls his eyes.
"Uh, just, y'know." Trevor flails for a minute. "Friends of friends."
"Well," Jamie stands up from the couch, "Give me a second, I'll change."
"You're not coming." Trevor hisses.
"I'm coming." Jamie smirks, "Nolan Fucking Patrick Zeegs, I'm coming. Can't believe you've got his digits and you didn't share."
"He's going to kill me." Trevor informs him as Jamie walks away.
--
If Jamie were a betting man, he'd have put money on Nolan Patrick being in a relationship with Konecny from the flyers. He definitely wouldn't ever picture Nolan Patrick in a relationship with Brett Howden. In addition to this, Jamie knows, with 100% certainty, that despite several, very irritating dreams that would disagree with him, he is not dating Trevor Zegras.
None of these facts explain why the fuck the entire evening felt like the worlds most awkward double date.
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beatricethecat2 · 3 years
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"A road trip? How exciting!" Jeanie exclaims.
"They gave you that much time off?" Warren gruffs.
"I'm still working. Sometimes," Myka explains.
"Often," Helena quips.
"And you're still...doing whatever it is you do? For the Secret Service? You never did explain," Jeanie asks.
"'Secret' and 'in-service of' the government, yeah," Myka answers.
"A-And what do you do, Helena?" Jeanie asks.
"I..." Helena glances at Myka.
"...work at a rare book collection. In Montreal," Myka adds.
"For a private patron, specializing in Victorian tomes," Helena elaborates.
"Dad, you should show her your collection."
"Oh, I don't know," Warren grumbles. "Won't be as fancy as she's used to."
"So you're Canadian?" Jeanie presses.
"No, English," Helena says.
"But you work in Canada?"
"It is a British commonwealth."
"Was," Myka snips. "Was a British Commonwealth."
"Is." Helena shoots Myka a firm glance. "Hence the Queen on their currency. I'm not being—"
"But you are sometimes."
"I'm aware," Helena snaps. "I researched my residence. It was easier to obtain a visa there due to my UK passport."
"You only have a British one?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Why?"
"I thought they'd give you a..." Myka glances at her parents. "Never mind."
A beat passes as the conversation hits a lull.
"How long did you say you've been traveling?" Jeanie inquires.
"A few months?" Myka looks at Helena for confirmation.
"Two and a half."
"And you've been able to leave work that long?" Jeanie asks Helena.
"I've made arrangements."
Jeanie looks between the two of them, wheels turning in her head. "Did you meet in Montreal? When were you there, honey?" she asks Myka.
"We, um, met a few years earlier." Myka's hands twist together on her lap.
The room quiets as both Myka and Helena fail to elaborate.
"Did something happen at work like last time?" Warren throws out.
"No," Myka answers, a little too forcefully and Helena shies away from her shoulder. She looks in Helena's direction, but Helena won't meet her gaze.
"Something else happened. A few things, actually."
"They don't know about your--"
"No. I went looking for you after my surgery. Then this trip happened—"
"Surgery?" Warren blurts.
"Tumor on my ovaries. They thought it was cancer, but it turned out benign. I didn't tell anyone, but Pete knew something was off. He picked me up from my biopsy and a few weeks later, they cut it out."
"Oh, Myka," Jeanie says.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Warren asks.
"Work was so crazy, I didn't have time," Myka says.
"You were still working?" Jeanie asks.
"You should have stayed with us," Warren adds.
"Tracy just had the baby, and I didn't want you to worry—"
"Baby?" Helena looks at Myka, brow raised.
"I told you, didn't I?"
"I think I would have recalled."
"Sorry. He's what," Myka says, looking at her mom, "three, four months old now?"
"Four and a half. Does your sister know any of this? About you being sick?"
"No. I haven't talked to her much—"
"You've not seen your sister's child?" Helena's whole body turns as she glares at Myka incredulously. 
"I-I was recovering. Then I went to find you," Myka says, her tone small. "A-And, it's a baby, right? It just sort of lies there, drooling. I thought I'd wait until he was...walking or something."
"That will take quite some time."
"I saw pictures. I texted I'd see him at Christmas."
Helena and Jeanne share a look of judgement.
"What? I don't get the whole 'having kids' thing."
"You will when you find the right fellow," Warren advises.
"Dad, that's not..." Myka starts, then stops with a breathy grunt. "Helena and I are dating, OK?"
"Oh." Warren's eyes dart to Helena, his expression minimally surprised. "The right woman then."
"You two are dating?" Jeanie asks.
"I thought you could tell."
"You do seem close, which is unusual for you," Jeanie mumbles nodding thoughtfully to herself.
"So surgery and a new beau. Keeping secrets again, Myka? I thought we moved past that," Warren says.
"Helena's not a secre--' Myka's phone rings. "Oh, thank god." She hits accept. "Agent Bering...yes...hang on a sec," she says, striding out of the room.
Helena sits up straighter as all eyes fall on her.
"What's your position on kids?" Warren asks Helena.
"Myka doesn't want them, Warren," Jeanne says, lips pursed.
"Yes, but I'm asking her," Warren points with his eyes to Helena.
"I'm...inclined to agree with Mrs. Bering."
"Oh, Jeanie, please," Jeanie says to Helena. "No need to pressure the poor girl. You have one grandkid already. Be happy with that."
"But Myka's the smart one," Warren says.
"Oh, now you're on her side?" Jeanie quips. "All those years you pushed her—"
"Wells..." Warren interrupts, eyes on Helena. "Myka said your last name is Wells?"
"That is correct."
"Any relation to the author?"
Helena opens her mouth to answer just as Myka swoops in. "Distant," she says and pokes Helena with her elbow as she sits.
"What did they want," Helena asks.
"There's a thing nearby."
"And?" Helena frowns.
"I told them maybe."
"You should have said no. We're otherwise engaged." Helena nods towards Myka's parents.
"You work with Myka at...whatever it is she does?" Jeanie asks.
"She helps out sometimes," Myka explains.
"Often," Helena adds.
"Don't you have to be an agent?"
"She's a former one."
"But she's not American," Warren says.
"It's...a partnership. Of a kind. Not worth explaining."
"Go on," Warren grumbles. "Keep keeping us in the dark."
"You didn't tell me about your cataract surgery."
"We didn't want you to worry," Jeanie says. "They said it was routine."
Myka frowns.
The room quiets again.
"Your shop is quite impressive, Mr. Bering," Helena says, speaking up to fill the pause. "I'm curious about your collection. Myka's told me wonderful things."
"Ach, call me Warren," Warren says, his tone softening. "Let me dig out my Wells first editions. I'll meet you two in the back."
"Sure, Dad," Myka says, watching him leave the room. 
"Be civil with him," Myka whispers to Helena. "This was your idea."
"I'm aware--"
"Should we order Chinese or are you two not staying for dinner?" Jeanie asks, rising from the couch.
"We have that thing," Myka says, flashing her phone at Helena.
"Which can wait," Helena snips. "We'd be pleased to join you."
"Good," Jeanie says, her expression brightening. "Myka can tell us more about her surgery. I'll get you that moo shu pork you always liked."
"I haven't liked that since I was twelve."
"Oh, that's right...before your 'vegetarian' phase."
"Do tell," Helena says, perking up.
"She's thin now, but you should have seen her then. A beanpole!"
"I was still growing!"
"You lived on lettuce and Twizzlers."
"She still does."
"Hey, I pigged out at that barbecue place. You were the one picking at it."
"I wasn't familiar with the offerings."
"They don't have barbecue in England?" Jeanie asks.
"Not in her day," Myka pokes.
"That never gets old, does it." 
"Nope!" 
Helena scowls as Myka grins.
Jeanie looks on, confused.
"Order whatever, Mom. It'll be fine. We should go meet Dad."
"No, I'll bring you two the menu. I don't want to get the wrong thing. Or maybe we should get pizza? You have that in England, don't you, Helena?"
"Not in my day," Helena snips at Myka.
"Myka!" Warren bellows.
"Coming, Dad!" Myka looks at Jeanie. "Whatever you get is fine. Let's go." She grabs Helena's hand and drags her out of the room.
Jeanie shakes her head but smiles to herself as she watches them leave.
-----------------
Bering and Wells: Travelogged ("Warehouse 13" Season 5 replacement) Season 1: Episode 6 Title: Colorado Springs: Rocky Mountain Way
Summary: Our intrepid pair travel north-east from Mesa Verde, meandering through the Rocky Mountains, hitting spots both familiar and new. As they descend from Pike's Peak, a last minute decision lands them on the Bering and Sons doorstep, with little, if any, prep work put into what meeting Myka's family might entail.
Previously: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5
-----------------
***BONUS SCENE***
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"Why don't you allow me to assist," Helena offers, hovering just behind Tracy.
"What's she saying?" Tracy asks Myka.
"Let her make the tea," Myka interprets.
"It's just tea, Myka. I'm not that sleep-deprived."
Helena looks at Myka, her exasperation evident.
"But she's English," Myka explains.
"So?"
"She can make it better."
"It's tea Myka, not rocket science."
"There is a science to it," Helena says, stepping closer to inspect Tracy's setup. "What sort of tea are you serving?"
"The kind with caffeine." Tracy pours water into the teapot and plucks four unlabelled bags from a silver plastic sheath. She plops the bags in the pot and covers it with the lid. "I don't remember the brand. I threw the box out and stuffed them in this one." She hands the box to Helena.
Helena's face droops.
"Helena's kind of a tea expert," Myka explains. "Maybe not as much as Steve--"
"Why didn't you say so! I have the fancy kind." Tracy rustles around the pantry and hands Myka boxes one by one. "Here's Raspberry Zinger and, um, some mint thing, and Sleepytime, but you wouldn't want that now. And I think..." She reaches deep into the cabinet and hauls out a tin. "African Autumn. I won it at a raffle at Kevin's work. But it's loose, not in bags. Such a hassle."
"Yes, indeed," Helena says, her tone slightly mocking. She takes the tin and scours its ingredients.
"How much sleep are you getting?" Myka asks.
"Not much. The kid needs fed all the time, and I'm the milk dispenser." Tracy cups a breast and jiggles it up and down.
Myka wrinkles her nose.
"Too gross for you, huh sis?" Tracy says.
"This ties in nicely to yesterday's conversation with your parents," Helena says.
"Aw, don't..." Myka says.
Tracy twirls around and faces Helena. "Don't listen to her. What did Mom and Dad say?"
"They seemed surprised...no, your father seemed surprised to hear Myka holds no interest in procreating."
"Myka, with kids? Ha! I'd love to see that." Tracy smacks Myka on the arm.
"I could if I wanted to," Myka mumbles, rubbing the smacked area.
"You'd be an excellent mother," Helena says.
 "You think so?"
"A helicopter parent, totally. She'd have a spreadsheet for every little thing. Dinner now. Nap now. And if the kid went off script..." Tracy gives an eye roll and a dismissive wave. "Do you have kids?" she asks Helena.
"Not at present."
"Do you want some?"
"I've made my peace with the subject," Helena says, adding a sage head nod.
"Too old?"
"Ha!" Myka's hand flies up to cover her huge grin.
"In a sense," Helena says, scowling.
A tinny cry directs all eyes to the baby monitor.
"Annnd he's up." Tracy groans. "Let me go grab him. I'll meet you in the living room."
"OK," Myka says, eyeing the teapot. "We'll just--"
"Go. Sit!" Tracy says, looking over her shoulder before leaving the room.
Myka and Helena shuffle off and settle on the couch.
"I'm sorry about all this kid stuff," Myka says.
"Twas I that 'poked the bear' today, so to speak," Helena says, scooting closer to Myka. "Did you not mention the child earlier because you thought it would upset me?"
"Maybe? I think it's more I felt guilty about not being as excited as everyone kept telling me I was supposed to be. So I just blocked it out."
"I see."
"Look, I know you were an uber-mom and everything, but is it ok with you how I feel? I don't want to ruin this." Myka takes hold of Helena's hands.
"I have made my peace with the subject. You saw the shell of a person I became to live out a fantasy of family."
"Yeah, but...and it pains me to say this, part of you was happy there."
"Fleetingly," Helena says, looking down at their intertwined hands, squeezing lightly. "But I do believe I'll make a better partner to you because of it, if that means anything."
"P-Partner?"
"Is that not the correct phrase? I have much to learn about modern terminology."
"It is if you...if you think I'm..."
Myka drifts towards an already leaning in Helena, their lips barely touching when...
"Here we are!" Tracy blurts, smiling down at the baby as she walks in. "Your nephew!" She displays the child to Myka.
"Hey, little buddy!" Myka smiles a toothy, performative smile, her eyes opening wider and rounder than usual.
"Waaahh," the baby cries.
"Did Aunt Myka scare you," Tracy says, bouncing him in her arms as his cries continue.
"All I did was smile!"
"Weirdly," Tracy grumps. "He's fussy sometimes."
"May I?" Helena asks, rising, holding out her hands.
"Knock yourself out," Tracy says, gently laying the baby and blanket in Helena's arms.
Helena cradles the boy and rocks him back and forth. "Shhh," she whispers from time to time. His cries decrease in length and volume until he gurgles and quiets down.
"There you are, little one," Helena says, her broad smile echoing her shining eyes. She shifts him to one side and pokes a finger into his tiny hand.
"Myka, your face!" Tracy blurts.
Myka stares at the scene in front of her. "You're r-really good at that," she says.
"I'd have suggested a nip of gin if he wouldn't quiet. But this one's an angel," Helena says.
"For him or for me?" Tracy asks.
"Perhaps both," Helena says, passing the baby back to Tracy. "He seems a tad peckish."
"Eternally," Tracy grumbles, settling into the rocking chair.
"Are you alright?" Helena asks Myka as she returns to the couch.
"I've never seen you smile like that."
"And it disturbed you?"
"No, it was...nice. Brighter than usual." 
"Brighter than for you?"
"Just...different."
"I do have a soft spot for infants--"
"So you were about to kiss when I walked in. I knew it!" Tracy blurts.
"Mom didn't tell you--whoa!" Myka shields her eyes as the baby latches onto Tracy's breast.
"All mom said was you were here with your girlfriend."
"Y-You couldn't give him a bottle?" Myka says.
"It's natural, Myka."
"But you're my sister, and that's your boob."
"I'm pleased wet nurses are out of fashion," Helena quips.
"Gin? Wet nurses? How old are you?" Tracy asks.
"Ugh," Myka grunts, face wrinkling as she chances a glance at Tracy. "What'd Mom say again?"
"You were here with your girlfriend. I thought she meant bestie."
"No girlfriend." Myka slips her hand into Helena's and smiles triumphantly.
"Leave it to Mom to understate that," Tracy says, her free hand reaching towards the end table but falling inches short of her goal.
"Allow me." Helena springs up and hands the towel to Tracy.
"Thank you." Tracy blots milk off of the baby's face and her chest. "Ugh, I completely forgot about the tea!" she says, looking up at Helena.
"Not to worry, I'll tend to it. Is there anything else you need?"
"A modesty curtain for Myka?" Tracy jokes.
Myka sticks her tongue out. Tracy reciprocates.
"Milk and sugar?" Helena asks.
"Yes, please," Tracy answers.
"Black for you, I know," Helena says to Myka. "Barbarian."
Myka sticks her tongue out at Helena.
Helena smiles and walks into the kitchen.
"Tell me everything," Tracy says once Helena's out of earshot.
"After you put that thing away," Myka says, pointing with her eyes at Tracy's chest.
"Prude."
"Helena would disagree."
Tracy gasps and throws the milk-stained towel at Myka.
"Gross!" Myka says, ducking away.
"Start talking," Tracy says, buttoning up her top with one hand. "Where on earth did you find her?" Becuase I think I want one, too "
END SCENE
-TBC-
NOTES: No artifacts this time, just a glimpse into family dynamics and H.G. and Myka's budding relationship. I rewatched the episode with Myka's parents to see where that was left in-canon and can't imagine it became more resolved over time. I did a tiny bit of research into Victorian breastfeeding practices and was surprised to have turned up some daguerrotypes/tin types from  the 1840's-60's. Apparently, it was a fashion in the US to have your portrait taken while breastfeeding (infant mortality being what is was back then). Look up Hyperallergic's article, "The Victorian-era Daguerrotypes of Women Breastfeeding" for more info. (And yes, nearly everything leads back to photographs somehow with me.) PS: Two more of these and I'll wrap up season one!
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khantoelessar · 3 years
Text
Hogan’s timeline prior to Stalag 13
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The purpose of this meta is to make an attempt at trying to fit Robert Hogan’s timeline pre-Stalag 13 to match something close to that of the actual historical timeline of World War II. I’m not saying this is actual canon, more like suggesting a possibility to stimulate conversation about Hogan’s timeline before being shot down and also an interest in World War II itself.
There are going to be holes in my theory. I’m well aware of this. However, trying to fit Hogan’s Heroes canon timeline to actual historical timeline is like trying to piece it together with baling wire, duct tape and glue. But that is half the fun anyway.
So on we go.
Our first semi-confirmed date for the series is the pilot episode which tells us it is the winter of 1942.
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We also have a semi-confirmed date from A Tiger Hunt in Paris that “Frank Dirken” escaped Stalag 13 December 1942. Now America entered the war when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour on 7 December, 1941. Roosevelt officially declared war on Germany on 11 December, 1941.
But actual hostilities did not commence right away. There was the problem of getting all those men and material across the Atlantic but also, and I mean no disrespect to the Americans when I point this out, but due to America’s neutrality and non-intervention policy a majority of those in uniform at that time had no combat experience.
What this means in terms of Robert Hogan’s past prior to Stalag 13 is that it greatly constricts the time Hogan would have had to fight if he had first arrived in Britain with the rest of the USAAF. The first of the US 8th Air Force didn’t arrive in Britain until 12 May, 1942. (1) The first joint RAF/USAAF bombing raid was in the Netherlands on 4 July, 1942 (2) and the first solo US bombing raid in Europe was on 17 August, 1942, over Rouen. (3)
This would leave at the very most seven months for Hogan to not only establish his reputation as a bomber commander but also get shot down and then get the Stalag 13 operation up and running. In “Happiness is a Warm Sergeant” Le Beau says:
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Le Beau: “Maybe we can tame [Kreb]. If he likes strudel.”
Hogan: “Come on. It took us six months to get Schultz to look the other way.”
Le Beau couldn’t have gotten the ingredients to make the strudel that is Schultz’s main bribe prior to the operation being set up, not from a POW camp.
Then there was the raid on the submarine base in Breman mentioned in “Two Nazis for the Price of One.”
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Hogan: “I supposed you’re talking about the bombing mission I flew against your secret submarine base in Breman.”
There were three raids on Breman between May and December of 1942. 3-4 June, 25 – 28 June and 19 November. However there were other raids prior to that. (4)
One more interesting detail that I want to add before putting forward my theory as to Hogan’s timeline is that the first of the B17 flying fortresses saw action in Britain when the RAF used them to bomb Wilhelmshaven on 18 July, 1941. (5)
So here’s my theory. Hogan was flying for Great Britain before the US entered the war. There have been fanfics written on this which I highly recommend. However there is one snag with them. Hogan could not have been enlisted in the US Army Airforce when he did so. Not only was the US officially neutral in the war until 7 December, 1941 but it was illegal for US citizens to fly for Great Britain under America’s neutrality laws. But many did so by sneaking across the border into Canada with false papers, claiming to be Canadian or of other nationalities and travelling to Britain to join the RAF. (6) I think it is worth taking a moment to honour the courage of those men and what they risked. In the beginning the United States did not take these transgressions lightly as this story posted on the Warfare History Network attests.
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“As they boarded the train for Montreal, the two Americans tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. They were well aware that if they were caught they would be in trouble. At the very least, they would be sent back to the United States. There was also the possibility that they could be sent to prison, as well as fined more money than they had seen in their entire lives.
At the Canadian border, the train stopped and several sinister looking officials got on board. They wanted to know where the two were going and why.
“We’re on our way to Montreal to see a cousin who runs a fish hatchery,” was the reply. One of the unsmiling officials—probably an FBI agent—wanted to know if they were fliers. “Don’t be silly. Do we look like fliers?”
The officials were apparently satisfied by the reply. One of them opened the suitcases of the two travelers and rummaged through the top layer of clothing. He did not look any deeper. If he had, he would have found what he was looking for—flying helmets, goggles, and logbooks. Instead, he closed the lid and wished the young fellows a pleasant trip.
The two Americans, Eugene “Red” Tobin and Andy Mamedoff, were not smuggling contraband. They were going to Canada to enlist in the air force of a foreign country which, in the early weeks of 1940, was against the law. “The Federal Bureau of Investigation kept a pretty close check on all Americans going to Canada,” Red Tobin later said, “so we had to watch our step.”
You can read the rest of the article here. (7)
The men who chose to go to Canada risked not only fines and imprisonment but also loss of their citizenship. (8)
It wasn’t until 19 November, 1941 that Britain officially revealed that there were three squadrons of American pilots called the Eagle Squadrons. (9)
Another fact the prohibits Hogan being part of the USAAF prior to the American entry is that prior to the war America had start to build up its own armed forces. (10) It began on 15 June, 1940. By 7 December, 1941 they had over 2 million in all branches. (11) This means that the USAAF was in desperate need of competent and skilled pilots to not only lead attacks but also to train new ones in its Air Corp tactical school. (12)
Combine these and I think it highly unlikely that the USAAF would have turned a blind eye to one of its best and most brilliant tactical pilots and officers to go AWOL to fight for a foreign country, especially at a time when the isolationist movement was strong.
There is another route open to Hogan having fought for the RAF and even during the Battle of Britain that I would like to explore here as a possible . . . let’s say, alternative headcanon.
He could have taken the route mentioned earlier by those other Americans, crossing the border into Canada, getting training there and then going onto Britain. I can see Hogan doing something like this. In the face of the news of repeated atrocities being committed by the Nazis and his country refusing to get involved, I can see Hogan taking on a false identity and slipping across the border in order to join the fight.
But this is also the same reason I think that Hogan was not allowed to go AWOL from the US Army. It would have violated Roosevelt’s Neutrality Laws, even though he declared,
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This would have crossed to far over that line, to have an American USAAF officer openly fighting with the British, especially after Hogan started gaining fame as a war ace and bomber commander. If he was so feared by the Nazis that Biedenbender was jumped from Colonel to General;
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Biendenbender: “You see I am the reason you are now here as a prisoner of war.” Hogan: “Thanks.” Biendenbender: “When the bombing raids of the squadron you commanded started to become . . . oh slightly annoying to the Third Reich I was assigned to study your tactics, to get inside your head, I know everything about you . . . so I was able to predict precisely the planning of your last bombing raid on Hamburg in which you were shot down, and I, hah, I was shot up to a General.”
then his fame would definitely have spread to the Commonwealth and then to America.
This is why I put forward the possibility that Hogan never enlisted in the USAAF. Also, Wikipedia states “None of the Eagle Squadron pilots had previously served in the USAAF and did not have US pilot wings.” (14)
There is the option that Hogan never joined the Eagle squadrons directly but flew for the RAF separately. First of all, according to the Wikipedia site (13) none of the Eagle squadrons flew bombers, let alone B17s. Also, in the episode “Some of Their Planes are Missing” and “Funny Thing Happened on the Way to London” we are told that Hogan was attached to the RAF.
If we take this into account when we look at Hogan’s timeline, we get a lot more room for Hogan to have accomplished all that he did. If he snuck across the border into Canada under a false identity prior or during the Battle of Britain which was July through September 1940 (15) he would have over a year of experience, including making his bombing runs on Breman before being finally transferred over to the USAAF and the 504th bomb squadron once America entered the war. The same Wikipedia site quoted before also states that the ranks in the RAF were transferred after some negotiations to the nearest equivalent rank.
There is another detail from the series that supports Hogan’s story links to Britain and the RAF over that of the USAAF and that is the fact that he reports to London, not Washington. Almost all his links to the Allies are British. There are a few Americans, General Barton in “The General Swap”, General Tilman in “How to Cook a German Goose with Radar”, the captain of that submarine in “The Pizza Parlour” and we do see the alliance of the British and the Americans in “Easy Come, Easy Go”.
But other than that all of his contacts and command structure that he reports to are British. There is no mention of the OSS or of Washington. When Hogan is flown back to England for the briefing before D-Day in “D-Day at Stalag 13” the General (we are not given a name) is British, not American and the “old man” they refer to is Churchill, not Roosevelt.
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General: “Even to tell you this much this much had to be cleared at the highest level of intelligence, the Old Man himself.”
Hogan could have been one of those Americans who crossed the border into Canada, got false papers there and traveled to Britain to joined the RAF. He didn’t join the Eagle Squadrons (although I can see him qualifying on the spitfires because they were one of the best planes out there) because he’d been transferred to Bomber Command. When America entered the war, he transferred to the USAAF with the equivalent rank of Colonel and put in charge of the 504th bomb group (even though in reality the 504th flew in the Pacific theatre and not the European one and was part of the 20th Air Force) because by then his reputation had long since proceeded him. He was part of the US mass bombing raid on Ploesti on 12 June, 1942 (16) but was shot down after that and was transferred to Stalag 13 just about the same time as Klink, who (I’m assuming was there to solve the massive escape problems) as we are told in “The Kommadant Dies at Dawn”
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Hogan: “Are you kidding, before I arrived you had so many escapes they were going to put a revolving door at the front gate.”
Now like I said this headcanon is not water proof. There are some holes that I can’t fill.
Hogan does say that he was assigned to the Pentagon in “Klink vs the Gonculator”
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As mentioned previously, I don’t think the Army would have let him go AWOL to fight for a foreign country if he was already an officer.
On the other hand I should point out that he was talking to Klink and was running one of his cons on him. It is also possible that he was assigned briefly to the Pentagon after Pearl Harbour but before he was shot down. His experience and connections in the RAF would have been invaluable. So maybe this possible headcanon of mine still holds water.
There are also other people who could have taken this path to the war and that is Kinch and every other black POW in Stalag 13.
The Tuskegee Airmen, the only black American squadron in World War II were first deployed overseas in North Africa on 24 April, 1943. (17) That’s too late for Kinch and the other black POWs to be shot down and sent to Stalag 13.
But while the American forces were segregated Canada and Great Britain weren’t quite so insistent on it. They couldn’t afford to be. This is not to say there wasn’t discrimination. Both Canada and Britain did have discriminatory practices (18) (19) that limited enrollment to all but the most general positions to those not of white European descent. But in practice a person of colour’s ability to not only enlist but to serve in a role beyond that of support personal depended very much on the recruitment officer as shown in this story.
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“In 1939 the so-called colour bar that prevented black people from serving in the British forces was formally lifted, largely because the Second World War meant that the Army, Navy and Air Force needed to recruit as many men as possible.
The lifting of the bar didn’t necessarily mean it was easy for would-be West Indian recruits to get in however.
There were people who would try three or four times to get in, or pay their own passage to come to Britain from the Caribbean.
Another route in was via the Royal Canadian Air Force. Canada may have been freezing cold but it was considered to be a warm and tolerant place for prospective black servicemen.
Billy Strachan couldn’t get into the RAF, so he sold his trumpet and used the money to pay his own passage to travel through U-boat-infested seas to London. He arrived at Adastral House in Holborn and declared his desire to join the RAF. The corporal at the door told him to “piss off.”
Happily however, an officer walked past who turned out to be rather more welcoming. He asked Strachan where he was from, to which Strachan replied  “I’m from Kingston.”
“Lovely, I’m from Richmond” beamed the officer.
Strachan explained that he meant Kingston, Jamaica.
Shortly after that, he was training for aircrew.”
He went on to do a tour as a navigator in Bomber Command, then retrained as a pilot and flew with the 96th squadron.” (20)
See this link for the full story.
There were black fighter pilots in the RAF as shown in the links above. Not only that there were women of colour as well, such as Lilian Bader who joined the WAAF and Noor Inayat Khan who was one of the Special Operations Executive’s top agents in France. (21)
This is not to say that there wasn’t discrimination against people of colour in Canada and Britain. There certain were as the websites quoted here show.
But the racism was not as bad or as extreme as it was in the United States. People of colour could fill high ranking and highly visible prominent positions in the Second World War as shown in this article here. (22)
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So this is a route that Kinch, Baker and the other black POWs could have taken to Stalag 13. Sneaking across the border, getting fake papers, training in Canada and then heading to Britain.
One of the holes in this possible theory is the issue of their uniforms. Unlike the American pilots who were white the black Americans pilots (if there were any) would not have been have been given equivalent rank in the USAAF or even been allowed to fly in the Eagle Squadrons once they were transferred to the USAAF. America was adamant on segregation, as shown here,  (23) something that caused extreme tension in Britain.
While there was racism in Britain towards people of colour the racial hatred demonstrated towards black servicemen by the American G.I.s came as a shock to the British population. (24)
Hogan could have protested segregation all he wanted, demanded Kinch be allowed to fly until he was blue in the face (assuming he and Kinch did know each other as implied in “Prince of the Phone Company” episode).
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Kinch: “Hogan?” Hogan: “Robert. Hogan.” Kinch: “Ha Ha! Of course! I went to school with this man in America.”
The Americans would not allow an integrated air force. At best Kinch and the other black pilots would have been sent back to the States to join the Tuskegee airmen.
At this point there are two routes open for Kinch and the other black POWs to have been in Stalag 13 in time to help Hogan start his operation. One, they had been shot down prior to the arrival of the 8th Army USAAF in Britain by 12 May 1942.
The second option is that they remained with the RAF instead of transferring to the USAAF. As this article point out some of the Eagle Squadron members decided to remain with the RAF instead of transferring to the USAAF. (25)
So my theory for a possible route could work for Kinch as well as for Hogan. They could have both snuck into Canada as civilians, got official training and then joined the RAF. Hogan joined bomber command and gained his reputation as a war ace and tactician then joined the USAAF after America entered the war. Kinch was either shot down on a mission just before 12 May 1942 or remained with the RAF and was shot down later. Hogan flew several more missions until Bienderbender overwhelmed him. The Red Cross would have notified Britain about Kinch and the others and Britain in turn would have notified the US who in turn would have had the American Red Cross send the black POWs American uniforms.
This may have led to a reduction in rank for Kinch. The role of navigator (originally titled observer in the RAF) which he fills in “Hogan throws a birthday party”,
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was usually filled by commissioned officer, see link (26), but could hold any rank from airman second class to Group Captain. The rank of flight sergeant in the RAF is the equivalent of a Master Sergeant in the USAAF. But if Kinch held a rank higher than that (which seems likely given the skill and high level of responsibility) then his being a sergeant in Stalag 13 would have meant a reduction in rank.
But as I said, this is just speculation on my part in an attempt to try and put the canon of Hogan’s Heroes into something that fits the actual historical timeline. I freely admit that there are holes in my theory.
Which is why I’m saying that this theory of mine is put forward as a possible alternative route that Hogan, Kinch and the other black POWs could have taken to get to Stalag 13 and leave them enough time for them to do all that they did and I hope it stimulates discussion and thought and (not to sound like I’m getting on a soap box here but I love research) a desire to research World War 2 for interest in the subject. Certainly that is what Hogan’s Heroes did for me.
Sources
1.      World War II Database: https://m.ww2db.com/event/today/05/12/1942
2.      History.net: https://www.historynet.com/first-usaac-raf-joint-combat-mission-july-4th-1942.htm
3.      World War II today: https://ww2today.com/17th-august-1942-the-usaaf-makes-its-first-raid-on-occupied-europe
4.      Bombing of Bremen in World War II: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Bremen_in_World_War_II
5.      World War II Database: https://ww2db.com/aircraft_spec.php?aircraft_model_id=4 \
6.      Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-British_personnel_in_the_RAF_during_the_Battle_of_Britain#United_States
7.      Warfare History Network: https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/2017/01/18/americans-in-the-royal-air-force/
8.      Royal Air Force Museum: https://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/research/online-exhibitions/americans-in-the-royal-air-force/eagle-squadrons/
9.      WWII: The Complete War Report. Directed by Various. Mill Creek Entertainment. 2017
10.  Not Even Past: https://notevenpast.org/inching-towards-war-military-preparedness-in-the-1930s/
11.  National World War II Museum: https://www.nationalww2museum.org/students-teachers/student-resources/research-starters/research-starters-us-military-numbers
12.  The US Army Airforces in World War 2: https://media.defense.gov/2010/Nov/05/2001329898/-1/-1/0/aaf_wwii-v1-2.pdf (pages 85 & 142)
13.  Teaching American History: https://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/document/radio-address-delivered-by-president-roosevelt-from-washington/
14.  Wikipedia: Eagle Squadrons: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eagle_Squadrons
15.  Britannica.com: https://www.britannica.com/event/Battle-of-Britain-European-history-1940
16.  142nd wing : https://www.142fw.ang.af.mil/News/Article-Display/Article/1211286/redhawk-reflections-on-the-first-american-mission-in-europe-1942/
17.  Tuskegee Airman: https://www.tuskegee.edu/Content/Uploads/Tuskegee/files/TUSKEGEE_AIRMEN_CHRONOLOGY12.2011.pdf (page 9)
18.  Historyhit.com: https://www.historyhit.com/was-the-raf-especially-receptive-to-black-servicemen-in-world-war-two/
19.  CBC.ca: https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/black-canadians-second-world-war-1.5793974
20.  Historyhit.com: Was the RAF Especially Receptive to Black Servicemen in World War Two? | History Hit
21.  Second World War Experience Centre: https://war-experience.org/lives/noor-inayat-khan-soe/
22.  Royal Air Force Musuem: https://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/research/online-exhibitions/pilots-of-the-caribbean/across-the-commands/
23.  Royal Air Force Museum: https://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/research/online-exhibitions/pilots-of-the-caribbean/answering-the-call/the-second-world-war-1939-to-1945-segregation/  
24.  Theconversation.com: https://theconversation.com/black-troops-were-welcome-in-britain-but-jim-crow-wasnt-the-race-riot-of-one-night-in-june-1943-98120
25.  The National Interest: https://nationalinterest.org/blog/reboot/these-americans-flew-royal-air-force-during-world-war-ii-168713
26.  Wikipedia: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/RAF_Bomber_Command_aircrew_of_World_War_II
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