#this probably makes zero sense without them but they are Necessary

[starbuck]

Watch Ravenous (1999) while thinking hard about the themes of Truth and Shame and maybe you’ll calm down

#or maybe you’ll get increasingly more agitated as you slowly lose your mind… who’s to say! #it’s truly soooooooo upsetting #the FIRST line in the movie is a lie told by the US military to further glorify itself #where’s that Black Sails quote about Civilization pruning imperfections from its vine (WILDLY paraphrasing)? bc that’s what it is #and then looking at each character and their relationship to Shame is sooooooooo fascinating #i’m just. #like. i couldn’t be being any more Black Sails about this but hear me out: i’m RIGHT #Civilization weaponizes shame against those it oppresses to dissuade them from finding common ground and resisting it #it encourages its subjects to view failings as the fault of individuals as opposed to systemic failings injustices and cruelties #that’s all in there if you know where to look #and if you watch the deleted scenes lol #this probably makes zero sense without them but they are Necessary #and again - i’m happy to link them to anyone - just hmu #ravenous 1999

[restinslices]

Everything pt2

PJO Show Ares X Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 6168 (I realized a bit late that majority is me setting up the scene. If you just wanna see their talk, read after the “~~”)

Summary: You haven’t seen your father since the last time you talked, but of course with your luck he finds you again and you’re forced to make a big decision.

Warnings: Reader is going through it, poor attempt at a fight scene, the lore and timeline is probably fucked up but ignore that, OOC Ares probably and as of typing I’m realizing MAJOR SPOILER FOR THE TITANS CURSE. To avoid this, scroll until you see “I don’t have any friends that come over” or “~” if you wanna be extra careful.

You’d love to say that not seeing your father after your last talk was some sort of surprise, but it wasn’t. Thankfully (is that selfish to think?) none of the demigods had a real good relationship with their parent. Well, Percy seemed to have a solid relationship with Posideon, but it’s not like he saw him everyday. And as selfish and heartless as it sounded, that offered you a bit of relief and comfort. It’s not like your father was sensitive and loving to you and you screwed it up. Everything was pretty much back to normal. 

 It was a pretty somber day at camp. Percy, Grover and Thalia had managed to save Annabeth and Artemis, but it didn’t come without casualties. You weren’t necessarily friends with Bianca or Zoë but you still grieved over them. The hardest part though, was watching how sad your friends had gotten, especially Percy. You knew what Percy was like. Percy was extremely loyal but that loyalty led to carrying a lot more weight on his shoulders than what was necessary. If your suspicions were right (and you knew they were), he’d blame himself for Bianca’s death. That made zero sense to you. He told you exactly how she died and to you, it seemed like Bianca made a choice. Percy couldn’t have done anything to stop it. He didn’t see it that way and you weren’t sure why you insisted on telling him over and over again and trying to cheer him up. 

 “Nico?” Percy raised to his feet when he saw you approaching. You shook your head,

 “No sign of him. He’s been missing for a week now Percy. If we were gonna find him, we would’ve found him by now”. Percy looked defeated. You were sure he knew the chances of finding him were slim to none, but you kept combing areas of the woods for him to keep him somewhat at peace. If he thought there was a chance, he wouldn’t be as depressed hopefully. 

 “I’m gonna say it again-“

 “Don’t”

 “Well what should I say to calm you down?”

 Percy thought for a moment but just shrugged and started heading inside his cabin and you followed. Percy collapsed on his own bed and you took it upon yourself to sit on the bed next to his. You didn’t know if it was because you held resentment towards your father, or if you actually liked Cabin 3 but you really wished this was your cabin instead. “Must be nice having a cabin all to yourself. No obnoxious cabin mates, no extra noise, nobody leaving their shit on the floor”.

 “I guess” was all he said back to you and you sighed. You didn’t wanna keep repeating yourself but you genuinely didn’t know what to say but not saying anything made you feel like an asshole that was ignoring the situation. 

 So you tried to change the subject. 

“Is it like this at home too? Just you and your mom? No friends over?”. 

 “I don't have any friends that can come over”

 “None at school?”

 “None”.

 That made you frown. You were older than Percy by a few years, so you had time to adjust to how lonely life could be as a half-blood and by now, you didn't return “home” either. Camp was your home now year round. You understood why Percy kept going home though. You heard about his mom and she seemed like a nice woman. You were grateful he at least had that. 

 But instead of saying something sweet and nice and voicing your thoughts, you made a joke instead. “That's why your little ass keeps getting into trouble. You have no one out there watching out for you”

 “My mom watches out for me plenty”

 “But she's not keeping schools from being blown up now is she?”. Percy rolled his eyes, but he didn't look as sad as before so you took this as a sign to keep talking “if I was watching you, you'd be alright. At least you'd have help”

 “You're tryna live with me now?”

 “Sure”, you said with a shrug. “A cool mom, random blue food, stopping you from exposing yourself - it all sounds grand”. You both laughed at your joke because that's what it was. A joke. 

 At least… it was at first. 

 Either Percy didn't know what a joke was, or he was pretty fond of having a big sibling when he was home because the next day he told you he sent an Iris message to his mom and she was fine with getting an air mattress for you. You almost told Percy that it was just a joke, but then you thought about how lonely he must be at home and how annoying it can be only having his mom to talk to about this demigod stuff. Plus, it hopefully wouldn't hurt to get a break from camp. 

 You didn't know why you decided to pray and tell Poseidon about this, but you did. The sun had set and you slipped out of your cabin and snuck into the woods. You made a mini fire and threw two candy bars the Stoll brothers managed to sneak in, which was a real shitty offering but it was all you had. You couldn't do it during the feast. You had too much to say and someone would hear. 

 “Terrible offering, I know. I hope you're listening anyway” you started. “I'm gonna be following Percy around when he goes home and I'm gonna try and keep him and Sally somewhat safe. I don't know how safe Percy can really be but I'll try anyway. I hope that's not a problem. I'm not tryna step on your toes or anything”. 

 In all honesty praying and giving offerings felt strange. You were supposed to pray to Ares everyday and give him an offering, but you stopped doing that after your last talk. The first time you threw food in a fire and didn't say his name, you thought you'd combust as a punishment. You didn't though, so you kept doing it. Occasionally you'd give offerings to other gods but it was mainly Athena. Partially because she was like Ares but not really and partially because you hoped it would upset Ares. Was it childish? Yes. But compared to someone as old as Ares, you were a child. 

 “That's all I really have to say. If you don't want me to go you can drown me in my sleep or maybe send a letter. Whatever works for you”. You looked around, expecting for some paper saying “absolutely not” to land somewhere around you but nothing happened, so you put out the fire and snuck back into your cabin. 

~

 You don't think you have a huge ego, but you definitely felt you deserved a pat on the back for how good your work was. 

 You were able to convince your own lousy family to hand over any legal documents to Sally and thankfully Percy's middle school had a highschool right next to it. Although the demigods weren't supposed to use phones, a minor text here and there saying “hey, I think there's monsters here” didn't hurt anyone. There were plenty of times you had to sneak out of your school and into his, and if you weren't so busy fighting for your life, you'd audition to be in some spy or assassin movie. 

 Thankfully though, you weren't always busy helping Percy. You figured you might as well help Sally out so you got a job at a nearby bookstore inside of a mall and honestly? You'd prefer fighting monsters over dealing with bratty customers. Seriously though, how can you be a bitch at a bookstore? 

 “I've already told you ma'am” you said in a monotone voice, “we can't give you a refund if you do not have a receipt”. 

 The black hair woman scoffed and looked at you as if you caused the problem she was having. “A receipt? Do I seem like the type of woman who keeps a receipt?! When I bought Twilight, I expected better and I hate it and now I want a refund and as the customer, I am always right!”. 

 The entire conversation made you wanna explode in front of her and change the trajectory of her life, but unfortunately it didn't happen. What was with mortals and not understanding basic store rules?

 “I would love it if you were right but you're not. No receipt. No refund”. She scoffed again and you wanted to grab her by the throat and stop the noise from ever leaving her mouth again. 

 “Well what do you expect me to do?!”

 “Pick up a different book then get out maybe?”. 

 You couldn't put a finger on the noise that came out of her next. It was some deep throaty sound with a mix of anger and disgust. “Do you know who I am? I'm Holly Holiday-” you accidentally cracked a smile at her stupid name and that just fueled her rage. She pointed a finger at your name tag and said your name, followed by “you are so done for! I'll have you eaten alive for this!”. 

 She turned on her heels and left in a huff. Fucking finally. 

 You looked over at your coworker Harper and pretended your fingers were a gun and shot yourself, getting a laugh out of her. Harper and her twin Hazel shared a few classes with you and by some coincidence they also worked in the mall. Harper was with you while Hazel worked at the costume store downstairs. You couldn't tell them apart and you weren't sure if you'd ever pass the “we talk sometimes” stage but it didn't matter right now. 

 “I know it's closing time but are you ok if I take a bathroom break really quick? I can help out when I get back”

She waved dismissively, “take your time man. Hazel'll be coming up here too”. You nodded with a small thank you and stepped into the mostly vacant mall. The mall was usually lively but with it being so late at night, the only people around were other people like that annoying customer and workers who had the misfortune of still working this late. 

 It was eerily quiet. Sure, you thought you were used to how silent it was at this time of night, but you still got the creeps and did not take your time alone in the bathroom. 

 Maybe you should have though, because once you left the bathroom that same annoying lady was waiting outside, which she definitely should not have been doing. 

 “I told you I did not like that book”. 

 Seriously? She was still complaining? She was still here after the store had pretty much closed? 

 You said something that would've gotten you fired if your boss was around, “yeah? Tough shit lady. No receipt, no refund, it's as simple as that. Don't buy books you haven't read. Now get out the mall and go take care of your kids”. 

 She snarled. A genuine snarl that made you start to sneakily slip off the bracelet you were wearing. You didn't know if gods could give other kids gifts, and either it had been allowed this whole time or Poseidon didn't care since shortly after your “chat” after hours you received a dagger that could transform into a bracelet. You thought maybe Ares had sent it, but his gifts didn't smell of the ocean and a fresh breeze. 

 Regardless of who gave it to you, that snarl didn't sound good. 

 “I don't think you're very good at your job”

 “I guess I'm not. Now do us both a favor and just leave”. 

 She didn't leave. Instead she smirked and that was all the confirmation you needed to know something was wrong. The bracelet slipped off your wrist and while the monster was transforming, you gripped your weapon and brought it up through the bottom of her mouth. You pulled it out, but not through the entry wound. You pulled it towards you, letting it split her face in half. 

 Just in case, you stabbed her in the heart, twisted the knife then pulled it out of her through the side of her chest. You didn’t have to wait for her to crumble. It was game over. A surprisingly easy win. 

 You grabbed some nearby napkins so you could wipe your dagger clean then returned it back to your wrist. 

 “What happened?” Harper asked once you stepped back inside, which was really odd for multiple reasons. 

 Firstly, you looked like you usually did. Nothing about you was particularly out of place. At least you didn't think so. 

 Secondly, she didn't sound curious. She didn't sound concerned. She sounded frustrated, like you did something wrong. 

 “Nothing” you lied. “It's nothing. Let's just clean up, yeah?”. 

 “I'm sure it's not nothing Child of Ares”. 

Your brows knitted together and you hoped you just heard wrong. You turned to look at Harper and that's when it started to click. 

 Harper. Hazel. Holly. 

 Harpies. 

 They were too lazy to pick a different initial for the first name and you fell for it like an idiot. Plus the “I’ll have you eaten alive” comment. But in all fairness, who actually takes those comments seriously? If you took every threatening comment seriously, you'd be sent to an asylum. 

 Harper's short red hair looked like flames now. Her green eyes looked hungry for your flesh and her sharp teeth glistened in the light as feathers grew from her arms. Realistically, you should've been scared. There were two alive harpies in the building, but something about a monster with a gray shirt with mini white books decorated on it really made you wanna laugh. She must've sensed this since she sneered, 

 “You think I'm funny?”

 “Do you want an honest answer?”

 “You won't think I'm so funny soon you spoiled demigod!”. You wanted to make a joke about how calling children with severe abandonment issues “spoiled” was silly, but you decided this wasn't the time. Instead you took the bracelet off. 

 Harper laughed in your face. “You think that will stop me?” 

 “Handled your friend pretty well. How about you stop trash talking and come over here so we can see if you're any different”. You don't know which comment got her so angry but she leapt at you. 

 You sidestepped her and planned on delivering a quick stab to the neck, but she must've seen it coming. She grabbed something and quickly turned to bat you in the face with it, making you stumble back. It took you a quick second to realize she hit you with a book. A Goosebumps book no less. 

 “You are incredibly childish” you mumbled and you wished you could laugh it off. Maybe you were childish too because you picked up the book and launched it at her face, feeling a tad bit disappointed when she dodged it. 

 You swung at her but she caught your wrist and squeezed hard enough to make you drop your dagger. You were quick on your feet though and you brought your available elbow down on her inner elbow (you were sure it had a scientific name but honestly who cares?). You heard a crunch and Harper screeched. Her grip loosened enough for you to snatch away while kicking her, her flying and hitting the railing. 

 You grabbed the dagger and threw it. You meant for it to hit somewhere fatal but she moved and instead it hit her directly in the eye, which made her screech even louder. 

 You snatched your necklace off and the object quickly took the shape of a double sided sword. It was a gift from your father and although he was probably pissed at you, you figured he probably wasn't watching and wouldn't care. 

 You charged at her and swung the sword. Although she was screaming in pain and was no doubt in agony, she slid under the blade. As she turned to face you, her hands moved and a sharp gust of wind knocked you off the third floor. 

 To make matters worse, Hazel decided to make an appearance. She was right below you, cackling, arms outstretched and you knew if you landed in those arms she'd devour you. 

 You did the only thing you could think of with such short timing. You angled the sword vertically and aimed directly for her mouth. She seemed to understand but it was too late. You came crashing down, your sword along with you and it slid directly in her mouth and down her throat. Because of the sword having a solid middle so you could hold onto something, it didn't go all the way through and you stumbled a bit, but you were better off than her. She stopped all movement and to make sure the job was done, you ripped the sword through her, cutting her in half. 

 “MY SISTER!”,  Harper screeched and you looked up at her with your messy sword in hand. 

 “You want more from the Child of Ares?!” You claimed you hated trash talk and you especially hated being called his child but the adrenaline was really getting to you. “I have plenty to give!”. 

 She flew up higher and started to come down fast towards you. You readied your sword, prepared to end this but suddenly she stopped and started trembling. 

 “L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

 Before you could ask any questions and she could finish her sentence, you were being launched into the air. The scream you let out was embarrassing but it didn't matter in the end. You both collided and hit the wall and instead of being knocked out or injured like you thought you'd be, you were completely fine. Your sword went straight through her chest and pinned her to the wall behind her and you were hanging above the ground, grasping onto the hilt of your sword and hoping your hands wouldn’t start sweating. 

 “L-L-Lord Ares. I-”

 No. No way. It couldn’t be. But who else could’ve launched you in the air like that?

 You looked down and there he was. You don’t know why, but you expected him to look somewhat different. Maybe a new haircut or a new jacket. Maybe he’d try contacts, but no. He looked exactly the same. You didn’t know if you were comforted or unnerved by it.

 You wished you had something cool to say but all you said was “what are you doing here?”.

 “Saving your life”. Yeah right. You had everything 100% under control. He chuckled and you started to wonder if he could read your mind. When you screamed internally though, he didn’t flinch so that theory went out the window. Maybe you looked annoyed and didn’t know it. 

 “Are you gonna catch me?” You asked.

 “What for?”

 “Because you threw me all the way to the fifth floor and it’d be nice not to break something”

 “You need me to warm up milk up for you too?”.

 Fuck it. You’d risk the broken leg.

 You tightened your hands around the hilt and planted your feet on the wall then pushed off with all your might. Fortunately, you got the sword out the wall. Unfortunately, you were now falling from five floors up. 

 You braced for impact, but instead of falling and hitting the floor, you fell into someone’s arms. You looked up, thinking that maybe someone was with your father that you didn’t see before, but no. It was him. He caught you. Something you weren’t expecting but you weren’t against.

 You mumbled a thanks and stood on your feet. The year was 2006 when you last talked. It was early in 2008 and while that wasn’t that big of a gap, the talk you had last time made things more awkward. 

 “I thought you’re not allowed to interfere”

 He raised a brow at you as if saying “you care about rules now when you’ve been breaking them?”. Were you breaking them though? Sure you were encouraged to give offerings to your parent but you hadn’t been punished… yet. If it was so bad you wouldn’t be walking right now. And you doubted he paid enough attention to notice. He was probably relieved to have one less kid bothering him.

 Gods, you were a downer.

 “Are you gonna tell on me?” He asked.

 “If you hadn’t caught me”

 “And now?”

 “My lips are sealed”. You didn’t see his expression. You were too busy looking down at your shoes. A habit you hated you developed. It made you feel small. But you guessed demigods were supposed to be small in comparison to their parent. That’s why you showed them respect but they hardly returned the favor. 

 A moment of silence passed before he spoke up again.

 “You have money on you?”.

 Was he gonna rob you now? “Uh, yeah”.

 “You’re paying for dinner. Let’s go”

 He started walking away before you could even respond, and like a reflex you grabbed his arm to slow him down. “I can’t”.

 “Can’t?” He said so calmly it kinda scared you.

 “Yeah. I can’t. My uh…” you decided not to tell him the entire truth about staying with Percy and Sally. “My ride… mom. She’s coming to get me. You don’t want mom knowing you’re in town, right?”. 

 He looked you up and down and you tried your best to not seem nervous. You weren’t sure he believed you but he let it go for the night.

 You wished it stayed that way. That he’d just go back wherever he came from but instead he told you the name of a diner nearby and said to be there by noon tomorrow and that you were paying. 

 “Great. Thanks dad” you thought. “I always love our talks”.

~~

 The good thing about his random plan to go to a diner at noon was that you were allowed to clean yourself and sleep beforehand. The bad thing was that now you were sitting across from him and it was incredibly awkward. 

 Ares kept laughing at his phone and you debated on asking him what was so funny but he said “started a Twitter war about vaccination. It’s getting good”. You screamed in your head again, but once again he didn’t flinch. Maybe he just had a good poker face.

 “I’m happy for you?”. He glanced up at you and instead of going back to his phone, he set it face down on the table. You didn’t know if he seemed to glow because of the little war he started, or if a source of light was hitting him nicely. Maybe it was a god thing. 

 “You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here”

 Was this an HR meeting? “I’m wondering why I’m paying”

 “Ask me”

 “You know I wanna know though so why am I asking?”

He didn’t respond. He just looked at you and you could hear his foot tapping on the floor.

 You rubbed your brow, already feeling a migraine coming on. You took a deep breath and let out a sarcastic response (which was not a good idea but your mouth worked faster than your brain). 

 “Ares, the amazing God of War. The Protector of Mistreated Women. Wearer of biker jackets. I come before you as your humble child, begging thee to tell me what required my summons and why you were at the mall last night. Please please please tell me. I’ll fall over and die if you don’t”.

 Sarcastic or not, he accepted it. He motioned towards the platter of burgers and fries, “this is your thank you. This is your offering to me since you haven’t been doing that”. 

 Well fuck. You didn’t think he’d notice. 

You leaned back in your seat and your fingers strummed against your knees and you had to remind yourself that running out probably wouldn’t end well.

 “You noticed?”

 “I did” he said simply. It reminded you of how emotionless he was the last time you talked. It reminded you of how frustrated you were that he talked as if nothing was wrong and as if your pain didn’t affect him. 

 “You demigods think you’re so smart. You have these big egos and think you’re ahead of us. You gave your offerings to Athena and Poseidon of all people ” he spat their names like it left a bitter taste in his mouth to mention them. 

 “And then you stay with that fish boy and his mom. Yeah. I saw that too. And I save your life and you don’t seem the least bit grateful”.

 Grateful.

 Something about that word you hated.

 Grateful? What was there to be grateful for? “Yeah dad, I’m super grateful my life consists of monsters trying to eat me and a dad I only see once in a blue moon. Totally grateful”.

 “We can’t interfere”

 “Didn’t stop you last night”

 He tsked, “I don’t get you. You complain about my absence then you complain when I’m here when I could be doing anything else!”. His voice rose but the people in the diner were either used to this or didn’t care enough to say anything.

 The nervousness and the fear rolled off you the more he spoke. Gratefulness? Doing anything else? You weren’t stopping him. 

 “Then go do those things. I’m not holding your hand and making you stay”. Your brain told you to shut up and apologize, but your mouth wasn’t having it. “And this isn’t about us and you know it. This is about you. This is about your ego being hurt. You don’t care about my safety. You didn’t go to the mall to protect me. You just love a fight and you were probably disappointed you couldn’t do more”

 “That’s what you think?” His eyes burned with something you couldn’t quite place. Anger obviously, but it seemed like something else was there. Or maybe there was literal fire in his eyes. Either way, it was clear he was upset and if you didn’t shut up soon, he’d probably turn you into a random animal.

 But who didn’t love animals?

 “That’s what I know. And I didn’t need your help. I was just fine. The only thing you would’ve missed if I somehow died was your little offerings. I don’t matter to you. Just admit it so we can move on”. Ares opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke again “and for your information Percy and Sally are very nice people. They feel more like family than you do”. 

 That shut up whatever he planned on saying. The last time you two talked you swore you saw an emotion cross his face. This time you were definitely sure you saw something cross his face before it went back to its default expression. 

 Was that regret? 

 No. That was stupid and you’ve had plenty of stupid thoughts. 

 It went silent. Weirdly, eerily silent. 

The diner wasn’t silent obviously but you two were.

You both were just staring at each other like statues. You wished you could read his mind. You hoped you would see thoughts of regret and sorrow and maybe hopefulness about your relationship going forward. You wished he had the same thoughts you had. Another stupid thought. Being hopeful didn’t work with him.

 For whatever reason, your mind wandered off to the late night talks you’d have with Sally and for whatever other reason, you started to speak.

 “Have you heard the song American Pie? Yes, it’s somewhat important to what I have to say. Yes or no only please”

 He looked bored and unamused but he answered anyway. “I don’t know. Maybe? Who cares?”.

 “There’s a line in the song that says this’ll be the day that I die. And for whatever reason it made me think about what I’d do if I were dying. If I woke up one day and I knew I was gonna die that day, what would I do? You wanna know what I realized?”

 He raised his brows for a second and leaned back in his chair. There was a possibility he was still bored but he seemed somewhat interested. “Shoot”.

 You smiled bitterly. Here he was so calm and fine and here you were, speaking slow and hoping your voice didn’t waver or crack. “I realized-” you failed. Your voice wobbled a bit and you cleared your throat a little too loud. “I realized I’d spend every second trying to make you love me”.

 You didn’t bother trying to read any expression he had next. You knew you’d always get it wrong and you’d imagine what you wanted to see. “And I uh… I don’t wanna be that way anymore”. You blinked rapidly, trying to prevent any tears from falling out. You didn’t have the rain to cover your face and blend in like you did last time. “And selfishly I hope that scares you”.

 “Gods don’t feel fear”

 “Well whatever you wanna call it I hope you feel it. I hope -and I’m gonna keep calling it fear- I hope you feel afraid for what that means for us”

 “Allow me to humor you for a bit” you felt as though the comment was supposed to be sarcastic but it didn’t sound sarcastic or aggressive. It was weirdly soft. “Why would you not wanting to spend your last day with me scare me?”

 “Because that means I won’t admire you anymore” you answered. “You don’t get it. You don’t get how much you mean to me. You don’t get how much I used to idolize you. Before I was claimed, I was already intrigued by you. Once I was claimed I read every single story that had to do with you. I was honored to be your child and tried to show you how honored I was everyday. I didn’t do all this for me. The training, bettering my Greek, learning everything I could about mythology. I didn’t do that for me. I did that so I would never shame your name and make you look like you raised incompetent idiots. The way I would defend your name and what you represent, you’d think I was being paid”

 “Me not admiring you anymore means I won’t care about defending you. It means I won’t care anymore about our family relationship. And I hope the idea of me calling you Ares instead of dad terrifies you. That emptiness or indifference I’ll feel when I hear your name… I know it hasn’t happened yet but thinking about it terrifies me too. Maybe I’m just selfish and don’t wanna be alone”. You used your sleeve to wipe at your wet face, a mix of embarrassment and relief for finally getting this out of you. “I could be right. I doubt it. I’m probably just making all that up but either way I need you to stop doing this. Seeing you at all, it gives me hope. I don’t want an enemy for life. I’m not Percy. But this is just gonna make this harder and if you hate me I am begging you to have mercy and leave me be. No visiting. I won’t come to see you when we do that little field trip either. I’ll stay at camp or I’ll go bother another god. Hermes is really nice. And if I break my end of the deal you can do whatever you want to me. Turn me into an ant, rearrange my fingers, throw me down a flight of stairs at full force, whatever”.

 There you went again making up shit. Swearing you saw something worse than sadness on his face; grief. That was impossible. Your eyes were just playing tricks on you like they always did. 

 You didn’t know what you wanted him to say, but you didn’t expect “you think, but you don’t know anything”.

 “Then tell me what I don’t know”. He didn’t say anything. He went silent and you were getting real tired of his silences. You sighed, “Sally’s been waiting outside so…”

 “Yeah…”. He let out a breath. Annoyance. Had to be. “You want this?” He asked.

 You were honest. ��No” you said instantly. “No I don’t but this just seems like the best thing to do”. He didn’t argue with you. 

 Your hand went to reach inside your pocket for money but then he spoke again “keep it”.

 “It’s no problem-”.

 “Just keep it”.

 You nodded. 

 You stayed sitting down. Why was it so hard to stand? Why did your legs feel so wobbly and your throat so dry? Why did your chest feel like a huge weight was crushing it? Weren’t you supposed to feel the opposite? Free and lively? Feel like you could float?

 Another stupid thing escaped your lips. “Can you do me a favor?”.

 “Another one?” He asked lifelessly- no. He was not lifeless. He was happy. You were sure of it. You’d leave and he’d cheer because he wouldn’t have to deal with another kid anymore. You knew it.

 “It’s not a favor if you don’t wanna see me either”. Another bit of silence but you weren’t surprised. “Can we do that thing mortals do? You know, when they hug and say they love each other before they go their own way? Or maybe just the ‘I love you’ part”. He looked at you for a bit and you were about to apologize for making it weird and leave but Ares stood up. 

 You stood up.

 It’s strange how something you’ve never done before can feel so right. Like it was always meant to happen or always supposed to be this way. You weren’t necessarily cold and Ares wasn’t a heater, but the second he wrapped his arms around you and you did the same for him, you felt much warmer. Not a burden type of warmth. The kind of warmth that brings you relief on a freezing cold day. That crushing feeling stayed the same though.

 “I love you dad” you said and it fell out so naturally, you’d forgive anyone for thinking this was a normal occurrence. That the fight you had was just a small disagreement but otherwise you two had an amazing relationship.

 You didn’t know how the words “I love you too” would sound coming out of his mouth, but it sounded better than you hoped for. It once again sounded natural and genuine even if you knew it wasn’t. 

 You thought it wasn’t.

 No. You knew it wasn’t. This was no time for brain tricks and delusions. 

 Pulling apart was probably the hardest thing you had to do and your job was keeping Percy Jackson safe. That sudden coldness fell over you again and the crushing got worse.

 It didn’t get any better when you left. You didn’t have the guts to look at him one last time, afraid you’d call off your deal right then and there if you made eye contact with him. 

 Luckily Sally was an intelligent person. She was smart enough not to ask how it went. Even if she did, it’s not like you could answer with the huge lump in your throat. 

 “Do you want ice cream dear?”.

 You shrugged. There was that word again. Want. You didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You thought you did but it all felt wrong. There was no weight lifted off your shoulders and you didn’t feel light on your feet. You felt cold and hollow. The weight got worse and pushed down on you with so much force, you didn’t know it was even possible. 

 Then your eyes landed on his bike and it all came out. Your head fell into your hands and you let out sobs that were lodged deep in your chest. Your ears were ringing and you were sure you looked and sounded like the most pathetic person alive but you couldn’t care anymore. Sally, once again being an intelligent woman, took that as a sign it was time to go and pulled off. You assumed Sally would’ve dropped Percy off after you went inside. You assumed he wouldn’t wanna wait out here for you while you talked to one of the people that hated him the most. His hand patted your shoulder, notifying you that he was in the car still. Usually you’d make a joke and tell them that you were fine, but nothing came out but borderline hysterical sobs. 

 You grew jealous of Percy. He didn’t see Poseidon much but at least he knew deep down that Poseidon cared for him. Sometimes you’d get that feeling but you thought it was all a delusion. Fuck. Why did you keep doing that? You knew it was all a delusion. 

 That choice had to be the right one. It needed to be the right one.

 That didn’t stop this wave of agony from drowning you, and you’d fight a thousand harpies if it meant this feeling would go away.

Omg y’all I did it😭. I mixed two ideas someone suggested with my own ideas and here we are. I hope y’all like it even though a huge portion is me yapping but to be fair I didn’t realize until after I was done and summarizing all of that didn’t seem like it’d sound right, yk? There was definitely a way I could’ve done it but I’m stupid soooo… yeah. Anyway, OOC Ares but this is my angsty fantasy so I’m making him care about his kids. In my head the whole “I hate my own kids” is him trying to convince himself he doesn’t care for them so it’s easier to stay apart from them. Idk, maybe I’ll make a part 3 from his perspective and answer why he said he was saving their life. I make no promises tho. And I know I said it’s show Ares so skipping ahead doesn’t make sense but we know what’s gonna happen Taglist: @kyuupidwrites @chadmeeksmartinswifey @lebguardians @beansficreblogs (one asked to be tagged, one asked for more dad fics, then one commented plus reblogged and one reblogged, so although majority did not ask, imma just assume y’all would wanna see a part 2😀. We’re getting the band back together like this is Phineas and Ferb)

#percy jackson #percy series #percy jackson ares #pjo tv show #ares pjo #percy jackson angst #pjo angst #ares x reader #ares x child #ares angst #idk what else to tag #HEY YOU GUUUYYYSS #I yell like we’re on Electric Company

[aroaceleovaldez]

i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.

(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)

This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)

You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.

In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."

Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.

And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.

Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.

And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #autistic nico #analysis #ask #Anonymous #long post // #tone indicator just to be sure cause i know i used a lot of italics: this is all non-agressive/not mad i prommy #im just very passionate about this topic (coding & fandom concepts surrounding ''canon'' + death of the author) #also controversial opinion cause i know some people have talked about wanting the use of the r-slur in SoM censored #but i think it should stay because. well. yeah no that was still very commonly used in 2006 #trust me i heard it a lot. i was there. in fact it was commonly used after that point. for awhile. #it wasnt until like a bit into the 2010s iirc that campaigns started to go ''hey maybe. dont use that word.'' #like that was RECENT #and yeah! these books are not old! TLT is only just coming up on 20 years. thats not super old for a book! #and yeah! that term was considered a-okay terminology to be used in a middle grade book in 2006! which is startling to think now! #but that's also why it's important to not erase that #because otherwise you forget that up until very recently that word was considered Perfectly Acceptable #and in SoM it's even specifically acknowledged to be used in a hurtful way! Percy is actively condemning it! #like. dont put it in the show or whatever. obviously. replace it with a different indication/coding to explain Tyson's struggles #not that i think Disney would put the r-slur in their show. but like. dont erase it from the book??? from 2006?????? #i am frightened to see how the show will handle tyson though. its not gonna go well i can feel it in my bones #anyways man i should post that excerpt from A Separate Peace though #just cause that scene has lived in my brain rent-free for years

[lightlycareless]

Yo but nerdy incel gammer naoya x bimbo reader 🫦

Heya anon!

I'm sorry this took me far longer than anticipated 💀 I still remember I got this ask when I had a friend over and in the middle of the busiest season of the year lol

But I did not forget! I just had the plotline sitting there... waiting to be written by me lol.

And now, it's here :> I don't think I've ever written a bimbo or incel character in my life, so I beg you to go easy on me 😭 This is what I was able to write with my understanding of those terms 😂 (probably raised to like the nth power but hey, who doesn't like extreme methods 🥴) it's also somewhat long, it's either all or nothing anon!!! so thank you for waiting 🥺❤

anyways, here are the warnings: MINORS DNI. misogyny, objectification, mentions and slight depictions of sexual acts, as well as sexual implications (? I hope that's the right term). A tiny, blink and you miss it kind of fluff. Derogative name calling, but good name calling as well. Overall, Naoya is very... ugh. and Y/N is oblivious as ever 😭also if there's some typos, or weirdly constructed sentences... I'm sorry 🥺.

As always, reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ❤❤ Happy reading!

Naoya is on a mission—a stealthy one, evident by his dark sunglasses, dark hoodie, which he wore specifically to hide his distinctive bleached hair, and finally a scowl on his face that would let any onlooker know he was not to be disturbed under any circumstances.

Necessary measures so as to avoid being recognized. But what was the reason behind those safety procedures? Surely, a man of his wealth could afford to hire an assistant to do his errands if he was too… “busy” to do so himself.

But it wasn’t a question of being busy, pretentious, or even uninterested—it’s a matter of secrecy, his identity to remain a mystery; and all because he didn’t want to, or couldn’t be seen indulging in one of his favorite pastimes: gaming.

Thus, a circumstance that had to be dealt through him personally. 

So, with all safety steps in place, he makes way towards the nearest video game store closest to his work, conveniently (or more like unfortunately) located in one of the most frequented malls of the city, in hopes of getting his hands on a brand new copy of whatever popular long-awaited first person shooter came out that season.

He considers himself to be a highly determined and focused person when it comes to pursuing a goal by swiftly evading upcoming crowds of obnoxious shoppers, annoying bystanders that can’t take their business to the sides of the passageway to avoid hindering traffic flow, to finally enter the store and zero-in on looking for his desperately sought after game through the many shelves on the walls.

But the act drops immediately upon noticing a sweet and resonant smell of a perfume, likened to strawberries or cherries, he can’t decide which one, drowning all of his senses.

It’s enough to snap him out of his purposeful trance and send him into an angry mull of just who the fuck thought it was a good idea to spray the store with that awfully distracting smell.

He swirls his head onto the direction of the perpetrator, but just as he was about to silently judge them to death, he notices you.

No, stares at you, wide eyed and speechless upon connecting the dots.

Not only was your scent one to be remarkably notable, but your presence accompanied well the intensity of such perfume, as if that weren’t enough to set all eyes on you.

The first thing that everyone notices, and perhaps what catches him off guard the most, is your stupidly short, off-shoulder, long sleeved pink dress, barely ending just underneath the crease of your bottom. From there, the second most noticeable thing from your attire had to be your thigh high boots. One would think that you were perhaps trying to cover your legs without the actual use thighs, but that assumption would be soon discarded when noting your clothes to be essentially to be a second skin, successfully accentuating each and every one of your curves, leaving nothing to the imagination, and prompting him to dumbfoundedly wonder if you didn’t consider, even for the briefest of seconds, that perhaps this wasn’t the best outfit to go out with.

When he’s able to overcome his initial shock, Naoya proceeds to do what he always does when he finds himself noticing the presence of a woman: attack your presence in the confines in his mind.

First of all, why are you in a store like this? From the very moment he stepped inside he noticed the lack of women—aside from mothers accompanying their sons, much to his relief, for he never correlated one thing with the other, seemingly belonging to two widely different worlds.

It was set from the very start that videogames were supposed to be for male consumption, thus, there's no way you knew what was being sold there.

Did you perhaps think this was some kind of movie store, where you’d be able to find your idiotic romcoms or whatever it is that females watch? Most probably yes.

Secondly, if you somehow knew this was a video game store, it was so obvious that you weren’t here for your own merit. Nuh-uh, women didn’t play video games, without being terrible that is. Or maybe they do, but it’s solely to obtain attention from the other sex and—

Oh, that has to be the reason why you even attended such a place dressed up like that, didn't it? Why would you choose a perfume so striking and an eye-catching outfit, if it wasn’t to get as many eyes on you as you could get?

And you did. In fact, within seconds of silently announcing your arrival, the other shoppers couldn’t stop their glances from sticking onto you as you walked into the store, seemingly unaware of their glimpses and hushed whispers to one another, as you looked around for something to buy. 

«Nothing more than a attention-seeking bitch» Naoya mused as he went back to the shelves before him «As if I were to fall for something that’s clearly bait»

An outstanding contradiction, for as much as he wanted to put himself over the men that were undeniably ogling your figure, he was forcing himself to go back on his search to avoid idiotically looking at you. 

Because with all the berating words he silently attacked you with, he still had to admit that as dense and indecent as you were, you were incredibly attractive.

Another wall that would collapse when he catches your moving figure from the corner of his eye, instinctively making him turn his head towards your direction, breath hitching at his throat when he sees you bending downwards and… flashing him the sight of your white and pink striped panties that has him frigid with bewilderment.

His perverted mind immediately takes him down the three following paths: 

The remembrance of the stereotypical anime girl panties, with a rosy twist that, far from being classic, he can’t help but find intriguing. 

The slight twitch coming from his groin, which he had to control immediately by focusing on everything but you, so as to not look like an impressionable teenager watching porn for the first time—only to fail miserably.

And the notion that you really were oblivious. 

Maybe you were. Because it was apparent to innocent minds that you were only trying to get a better look at the games on the bottom shelf—it wasn’t your fault that your skirt creased upwards and flashed the people around you; but they wouldn’t complain either.

Eitherway, after everything was done and said, Naoya was officially hooked on your presence, because as soon as you leaned back and upwards to your full stature and made way to the employee on the cash register, his gaze followed each and every single one of your steps.

“Hi!” you cheerfully greeted the less-than-deservingly paid employee.

“Yeah?” The young man responds, his head turning from the endless paperwork before him and up to you—his indifferent facade of having to tend to another nameless customer falters for a second when finally noticing you. His eyes widen for a fraction, before going immediately back to his everyday stance when finally composing himself. 

“I have a question…” you say, a slight pout on your lips and a coy look in your eyes, almost as if you were ashamed to be bothering him with your concern, instead of the outfit you were wearing that day.

“Yeah?” He says, and Naoya, who has not removed his undetectable gaze (thanks to his shades) from you, is able to catch his not-so-subtle mocking tone. The young entrepreneur wonders if you noticed such connotations, but judging your cheerful response and your lifestyle, he doubts you to be capable of acknowledging social cues. 

“I was just wondering if you had this game!” you smile, pink manicured nails pointing to the small poster on the counter, the cover art of the newest game in season, coincidentally, the same one Naoya was looking for.

“Oh, that one?” The man taunts “I don’t know, it’s quite popular”

“I know!” You joshed “I was hoping to get one as soon as the store opened, but I had to do some errands first… hope I’m not too late”

“I’m sure you did” He murmurs, now glancing at the screen before him while typing a few words into the keyboard here and there, as if to give the impression that he was checking the availability of the game you wanted, when in reality, he was randomly clicking buttons around the system “Which one are you looking for, the green one or the blue one?”

“PC” You answer directly, and the man’s brows slightly furrow at your tone before going back to his sneerish ways.

“Uh… yeah, sorry miss, looks like we don’t have that one anymore” he shrugs, and Naoya blinks. He was sure to check online to avoid taking on a fruitless trip, there were many copies available due to the pre-order… had he underestimated the popularity of said release? “Should’ve pre-ordered it if you wanted it that badly”

“Aw… don’t tell me that” You sigh, deflating your shoulders and pursing your lips onto another pout. “Do you think you can tell me when you’ll be getting more?” you then plead, no—whine, puppy eyes included, to the man before you. “I really, really want this game…”

The cashier didn’t think that his “playful” actions would lead you into an imploring position, but he can’t say he’s not satisfied with seeing this submissive side of yours.

“Fine” The sight of your body pressed against the counter, gifting him the modest sight of your cleavage is what has him folding to your pleads “I’m not supposed to tell you, but due to high demand we’re getting another shipment overnight, come tomorrow for a copy”

“Oh, thank you so much!! You’re the best, thank you!!!” You grin, excitedly jumping on your axis due to your excitement, and gifting another sight for Naoya and this random employee to enjoy “I’ll be here tomorrow then! I actually have a nail appointment right now, since I don’t like this color anymore—look! It’s quite ugly, isn’t it? I want a brighter color!”

You show him your nails, and he, who isn’t getting paid enough to entertain customers… and isn’t interested in the mundane aspects of his life that don’t entail staring at your figure, just gives you a tight smile and a curt nod.

“I just wanted to see if I could get a copy before my appointment, that's all. See you tomorrow….uh…”

He tells you his name, and you give him another grin.

“Cute name!” You giggle “See you tomorrow then!”

And just as you entered the store, you disappeared. Leaving nothing more than your sweet scent to linger behind. Less than a second after that, everyone goes back to their previous behavior, aside from a few murmurs of disbelief and surprise, as if nothing happened.

Naoya, on the other hand, couldn’t help himself from following you with his eyes as you stepped out of the store back into the mall, but just as you were about to disappear from his sights, a small crowd of people suddenly intercepted you. 

The image is… confusing to him, to say the least—were they your friends? That would’ve explained their sense of familiarity, as well as your all too happy disposition to entertain them, but if so, why didn’t they accompany you?

He wanted to keep starting for a bit longer, at least until he was able to figure out what kind of relationship you had with this surrounding horde, until one of the people behind him snapped him back to reality thanks to the sound of someone clearing their throat, as to remind him he was hoarding a large part of a shelf, so either step aside or… or step aside.

Naoya briefly glances at the annoyed person behind him, before rolling his eyes and heading towards the same cashier that attended you, intent on confirming the words he’d told you.

“Are you out of copies for that game?” Naoya asks, gesturing to the same poster as you.

“This one?” The cashier refers to the large banner behind “Nah, we still have lots of copies, for what console do you need it?”

“Playstation…” Naoya caution, confusion slowly setting in his mind as the employee goes to the back of the store, eventually coming back with his copy. It’s then that he decides to confront him “I thought I heard you say you didn’t have any”

“Oh, that?” He says, scanning the box before placing it on the counter “I was just having a bit of fun, really. You don’t really believe she knew what she was looking for, do you? Probably a gift for her boyfriend or something”

At the mere notion of you having a boyfriend, something likened to disappointment stings Naoya’s core.

“Wouldn’t mind having her come around more often, though” the young man says to fill the silent void between the two. 

Naoya remained silent, but not impassive. Just as he paid his purchase, his mind began the mental work of what he could do with this new angle he hadn’t considered before.

Did this mean you’ll be coming back tomorrow?

Absolutely—you essentially promised this random guy that you’ll be coming back tomorrow, and if you really wanted that game, then you would. 

So, with the determination that your promise provided, he came back again the next day. Discreetly as he’d done the day before, silently awaiting your arrival just a few feet away from the store’s entrance: for the moment you’d grace his sight with your presence.

An hour passed, and you were nowhere to be seen. He’s dangerously close to finishing his break, and past the limit of cursing and berating his naiveness of believing that your ditzy self would actually keep up with a promise you made to a complete stranger.

Naoya is more than ready to head back to his work and forget all of this, until you finally make your entrance.

And with an even skimpier outfit than before—a pink v-neck crop top, a low waisted denim skirt, resting just beneath your belly button, and white boots. 

The way his mind is able to whip away from anger and into perverted intrigue is outstanding. When he was reprimanding himself for being a foolish time-waster, he was now wondering if you were wearing completely white panties, or perhaps blue stripes…? Naoya didn’t bother to think about your bra. It’s obvious you weren’t wearing one anyway, just as the day before, evident by the way your nipples poked through the fabric, so why waste energy thinking about that?

After a few seconds of indecent thoughts, Naoya makes his way towards the inside of the store, hoping to catch a better glance of you—all while putting up the act of an absorbed shopper, and not of a debauched young man.

You didn’t use much of your time to look around, much to Naoya’s dismay who hoped you’d gift him another peek of your panties, instead, you went straight to the cashier, which you excitedly greeted upon recognizing him to be the same from yesterday, followed by asking for the copy he promised to have today.

“Oh, sorry—sold out already” he says matter-of-factly, and your eyes widen.

“What??” you breathe “Oh, don’t tell me I was late again….”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll be getting another shipment overnight, though. Why don’t you try tomorrow? I might be able to hold a copy for you”

“Oh, would you really do that?” You ask, eyes glistening with hope “Thank you sooooo much!! You’re really the nicest guy ever…”

And so, you leave.

Naoya wants to scream at the man for seemingly letting you go so easily—but he’s quick to remember that there are a few things that he can’t get away with, especially if they aren’t employees under his company, so instead, he swallows his resentment and leaves the store as well.

His eyes darted across the crowds, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and maybe… well, he wouldn’t consider it stalking if he was just seeing you at a distance, but all technicalities accounted for, he would be “observing” you for a bit.

However, you're nowhere to be found—not even the group that stopped you yesterday was there! You were essentially lost between the crowd, leaving behind yet again, your lingering scent and the flimsy promise of coming back the next day.

Tomorrow came by, to Naoya’s relieving expectation and personal satisfaction upon seeing another skimpy outfit on your body, but to your detriment, for you were received with the same excuse. 

I couldn’t hold the copy, I wasn’t sure if you were coming so I sold it. It’s what he said to you when approaching him. And yet, you didn’t say anything—you didn’t appear to be upset, if anything, you just took it, and came back tomorrow.

Once again, Naoya was there too.

Oh yeah… I told you that, didn’t I? Yeah, we didn’t get any more today. Maybe tomorrow!

Naoya couldn’t really care less about this guys toying intentions with you, however, he’s getting tired of this senseless chase. It was entertaining, sure, he had to admit that he was looking forward to the moment he’d see what kind of outfit you’d wear that day.

However, it was slowly becoming annoying how he had to go out every day, get covered up so no one from his family or business-ventures would catch him essentially hunting an indecent woman, and wait for you as if he were some kind of pet, when it should be the other way around.

And while that may be the primary reasoning of his newfound path, the other subconscious underlying argument was that he hated seeing you give this scumbag all of your attention—and quite stupidly so. A sensation that would’ve been described as anger, if not… jealousy.

No, it couldn’t be jealousy, of course not.

Naoya was never jealous. However, he was protective of things he thought were exclusively reserved for him. And just as it was as noted before, he was one to act firmly and directly when it pertained to something he wanted.

So, having had enough of your endless goose chase with this insignificant man, he decides to put an end to your misery by buying a copy and handing it to you personally, so you can finally set your sights on a man of higher caliber.

“Wait… you… you got this for me?” you faltered while carefully receiving the box from his hands, as if it were the most sacred item in the whole world and could break easily even by an unsuspecting gust of wind, before looking up to him in awe “I—I thought they were gone… How… Did you know I was looking for one?”

“Guess I’m just lucky. Although I’m not sure that’s the console you wanted” Naoya responds, feigning ignorance so as to not reveal he’d actually been stalking you for a while. 

“It’s perfect! You hit it right on the money!” you giggle, giving him a sweet smile that has Naoya growing a bit uncomfortable for the sudden tightness in his pants. 

He tries to distract himself by thinking how fortunate he was that you didn’t ask any more questions regarding his… mysterious assumptions.  But by the way you thankfully offer yourself to him, unknowingly inviting, he’s finding it to be an incredibly strenuous effort. 

“I… I don’t know what to say! Thank you so much!! I’ve been wanting to get this game forever now!! But now I can finally play it, my followers will be eternally grateful to you, kind stranger…” you swoon, and Naoya… Well, he remains speechless, but for another reason now.

“Followers?” Naoya skeptically repeats. He can’t help but judge by your attire that you’re most possibly inclined to have those kinds of followers, but if so, what kind of use would you have with a game of all things? Well, guess he’d just have to find out…

“Oh, right” You sheepishly chuckle as a subtle blush appears on your cheeks. “I’m a streamer! I broadcast whatever game I want to play that day, or what my followers tell me to”

“Streamer” Naoya says to himself, he never thought that this game was actually for you to consume. Guess he misjudged part of the female population. But at the same time, this revelation brings him a much needed lifeline without having to put much of his effort: somewhere to unadulteratedly watch you, and without having to worry who sees him in turn. “Where… Do you stream?”

“On twitch” you reveal “I used to have business cards but I ran out of them a while ago and the new ones haven’t arrived yet… Oh, I know! Do you have social media?”

“I… rarely use it” he responds honestly. His father told him to keep his personal image to the cleanest possible, if he didn’t want to ruin his chances of inheriting the company, that is. 

Didn’t stop him from doing what he wanted, of course, just led him to be more… discreet.

“Eh?! That's impossible! A handsome man like you must have at least an instagram! … Or a girlfriend” you whisper the last part, almost as if you were talking to yourself, but his focus on you allows him to intercept your words as if they were spoken to everyone in the vicinity, and it makes him feel… 

“I… don't” Naoya responds, but he doesn’t know which of your questions. 

Thinking back on it, he was to have a girlfriend—more like an arranged marriage with a daughter of some rich family, or something like that— but it never went through, the family deciding to back away out of nowhere. 

He thinks himself too young to be tied down to difficult commitments anyways, such as women tend to be, so the sudden change fit him well.

And even though it’s been a while since he’d seen her, he can’t help but compare you to that thwarted woman.

While you socially didn’t fit the eccentric criteria of the Zen’in men, far too lewd to fit the traditional values of an old money family like his, Naoya is not cut of the same fabric as them, not entirely anyways, and he knows it wouldn’t have taken much before he found himself seeking you, for his wife wouldn’t give you the entertainment you would undeniably prove him.

“Really? That’s quite a shame…” you wistfully sigh, and just like his answers, he doesn’t know which question you’re responding to. “Well, if you ever decide to open an account, you can find me like this”

You show him a screenshot of your social media handles, and Naoya, quickly, if not desperately, writes down your information.

“Thank you so much, um…” you say once he puts his phone away, pressing your lips together as the pink in your cheeks turns red.

“Naoya” he responds, admiring how a woman as shameless as you could still feel something likened to embarrassment. A delightful… and cute realization. 

“Y/N” You say back “It was nice meeting you, Naoya-kun”

It’s a simple, innocent gesture, the formality of two people becoming acquainted with each other. A straightforward social interaction, but for Naoya, this was nothing but the start of his demise.

From the moment he went back to his office and searched you up on all of your available social media, he started an addiction consisting of keeping up to date with all of your movements.

Whether this be through your instagram, he’s set up notifications to let him know whenever you posted something new, a post, a story, a livestream, it doesn't matter. And he cares even less about what he’s doing when he’s notified about this—he could be in the middle of a meeting with an important client, but if his phone vibrates, letting him know you posted something, he would unlock his phone and check.

And it's with the intricate of his obsession that he began to stalk you whenever he virtually could, and physically as well.

If you tagged yourself to be going somewhere, he’d pull whatever strings he had to pull to be near you. Silently, distantly watching you and your outfits that he’d continue to spend his time guessing just what kind of underwear you’d be wearing, perhaps even lingerie? When he wasn’t “admiring” your outfit, of course. His favorite instances during these outings were when you were alone, away from the small crowd of people he assumed to be your followers, seemingly doing the same as him by hounding you as some kind of piece of meat, to those that acted somewhat civil near you; your friends, which he found surprisingly normal compared to you.

But when you streamed… that’s when it was officially recognized that he had an addiction.

It wouldn’t take him long to figure out that just as how you acted in person, it was heightened x100 times online. It was a mystery as to why you haven’t been banned from the platform for dressing so scandalously, but even if you were, he would personally hunt down the CEO at his HQ to demand the reinstitution of your channel. He needed, wanted, desired to see you everywhere, anywhere.

But just as most addictions go, one day he just couldn’t fill his need.

Naoya didn’t like being pushed to the side, as his useless brothers had always been when it comes down to matters of the company, when he knew he was capable of achieving so much more.

And specially, he didn’t like how you were giving others—your followers, attention.

But he found it hard to approach you for some strange reason. There was something inside his mind that filled him with a sense of fear that had him believing that if he wasn’t careful enough, important enough, you’d disappear from his life.

He had to stand out, he had to get all of your attention on him, as to avoid sinking down into the forgetfulness of your memory, but above all, he needed to be reciprocated with the same toxicity he was giving you, or he'd fail to continue on existing.

So, like any rich man with spending issues his age would do, he started to spend large, ludicrous amounts of money to your persona: either through donations your streams, or by the wishlist link you posted in your description box, carefully selecting the outfits he’d thought would benefit you the most, before adding the entire list on his shopping cart and checking out.

He’d been a silent observer of yours since he began to follow you, but when you dedicated a stream solely to open the uncountable number of boxes that were delivered to your apartment one day, that’s when he finally stepped into your spotlight.

“Naoya… Naoya… it’s familiar to me but I can’t pinpoint where….” you say as you continue to carefully cut another box open, setting your cutter aside and revealing the contents to your followers, which, far from admiring the nice things you’ve gotten or relishing on the fact that someone was kind enough to buy them for you, couldn’t help but show their concern for this sudden big-spender of an admirer.

One even reminded you to be careful, but that message was soon drowned by the swarm of messages from the other side of your fandom that asked you to model the clothes you were showing off.

And you, too distracted by the nice and pretty things this mysterious Naoya guy got for you, remained completely oblivious to the other’s concerns.

“I swear, I had it on the tip of my tongue!” You frown, looking through the box to check there was nothing left behind.

Naoya knew that you wouldn’t read his message, at least not through the large stream of messages that seemed to push down whatever new comment managed to get past your moderators. So, he took it as his personal mission to talk to you via donations. That way, he could ensure you would read what he had to say, and set him aside from the lowly scum that seemed to follow you.

Thus, he sent you another donation of $5000 dollars, with the following words:

“From the store”

You lifted your eyes from the box and onto the screen. Carefully reading the message attached. Naoya felt an indescribable feel of realization upon seeing your smile widen and your eyes glistening with excitement on what seems the moment you finally remembered who he was.

“Oh! That Naoya!” you gasp “You’re the one that got me that game! Oh, how could I forget your kindness! Well, it has been a while since I saw you… so please don’t be too harsh on me”

The chat is quickly inundated with questions of who’s Naoya? And when did that happen?

“I thought I told you guys about him, but I didn’t say his name out of privacy, so it would make sense why you wouldn’t remember—well, that doesn't matter! I think we all owe him a thank you for all he’s given me!”

The chat box is once again inundated by comments of random followers thanking Naoya—a gesture that he paid little to no mind to, for he didn’t do that to get their recognition, at least not theirs. Your undivided attention is what he wanted, but if this is what it took to get there, he’ll take it.

Upon detecting motion on your side, Naoya’s eyes dart away from the messages and back to you, only to be received with a surprise that has his heart skipping a beat and his lungs emptied of air.

You’re closer to the camera, your body slightly leaning forward, enough to reveal the mounds of your breasts, before suggestively looking at the camera and cooing.

“Thank you, Na-o-ya-kun”

It’s so intoxicatingly sweet the way you unknowingly seem to murmur his name. Enrapturing him, and your thousands of followers, by the way look at the camera with those e/c bedroom eyes. Even the way you’re flaunting your body…, it’s almost as if…. As if you were seeing him on the other side of the screen. 

It’s all so personal, so… intimate, that he disconnects from reality at the moment, his mind only being able to focus on the now imprinted image of your body and sound of your voice, and the fiery need building up in his crotch.

He’s done it before. Touched himself at the sight of your image, but never during your streams. He thinks it’s… foul, dirty, and often prefers to do so in the privacy of his bedroom. But when he sees you acting so alluring, and just for him, it was the hook, line, and sinker he needed to chase his release. Even if it somehow manages to stain his keyboard, he doesn’t care, for all that he needs is you.

Naoya doesn’t even realize the moment you ended the stream, but when he does, it's past the third time (or was it fourth?) time he already came to your visage. Upon seeing the familiar offline banner, he thinks it’s time to turn off the computer and head to bed—not without checking the following post you always did when ending your streams, that is.

But just as he’s about to log off for the day, he receives a notification. 

A private message… from you.

[username]: Naoya? I hope I got your username right…

He doesn’t care that you didn’t even bother to check the name of your highest donor of the day or lifetime if he was being noisy about it. All that he can think of is that, after all of his efforts, you finally approached him!

[naoya]: Yeah, it’s me.

[username]: Yay! I’m so glad I got it right! …

Anyways, I just wanted to thank you personally for all that you’ve donated to my streams and… well, once again for the game you got me that one time! I was so tired of going to the mall everyday… you really were like some kind of guardian angel ❤

A guardian angel might be the wrong term—he’s more like a predator, and there’s not a step that he hasn’t meticulously calculated to lure you into his trap.

Which you were doing so easily, as expected from an easy prey like you.

[username]: I don’t know how I can ever repay your kindness, Naoya-kun, but I do think this will be a good head start ❤

Naoya intently stares at the chat box as the three dotted symbol, the one to indicate you to be writing, continues to flicker before him.

Anticipation rises from within him as seconds pass— He doesn’t know what to expect from your silence, perhaps an extensive bible to describe your feelings of appreciation? Women were… mushy like that.

His thoughts were immediately terminated upon seeing 6 files attached to the chat, pictures labeled for Naoya, with a suggestive subject “for you ❤” that hastily prompted him to download your archives as soon as they were safely scanned. 

When the photographs pop up on his screen, his heart skips a beat and his cock twitching  slightly back to life.

You are presenting yourself in a way that’s borderline explicit. And it’s now that he realizes that you are, truly, an oblivious vixen that doesn’t know the dangerous game you’re playing with him.

There was a recurring theme with all photographs, and that was your presence before a mirror, however, each and every portrayal was different: in one, you were sitting down in what seemed to be your bed, phone covering your face, wearing one of the outfits he got you from your wish list: a white skirt, a white crop top and some white bunny ears resting on top of your head.

With your barely distinguishable dainty look, this would’ve been nothing more than an innocent picture, had it not been from the pornographic demonstration you were doing with your delicately separated legs which allowed him to see you were wearing nothing underneath your attire.

He could almost see the intoxicating color from your pussy peeking through your lips, but alas, that wasn’t meant to be… yet.

The next picture had effectively sprung against the painful constraints of his pants: it was of much less sensuality, but inciting nonetheless. You were once again covering your face, this time however, you were far more… assertive when it comes to your posing. Wanting to show off your newest light pink lingerie… you adjusted your body to highlight all of your delicious curves to him… alongside the subtle “peek” of your nipples.

His heart was beating out of his chest when he went through all of the photos, with a grin parting his lips when he came to the dawning conclusion that you were giving him a sample of your body, a tease of what’s his, to ignite his continued interest in you. 

«It seems I might have underestimated you, Y/N…»  he says as his mind produces just all of the nasty things he would do to your body if he only had you underneath him… «But if you want more from me, you’d have to do better than that»

As much as he feels the burning desire to snatch you away from the public eye and keep you locked away just for his use, he knows that’s not the right thing to do for now.

Naobito has taught him many times that part of being a successful man is to know how to play their cards correctly, only to relax once victory is assured and undeniably under his court.

To not be brash and impatient, if he is to see the fruits of his efforts.

So, with great effort, he pushes his lustful desire for you deep inside his essence and sets the next trap.

[naoya]: I didn’t do any of these things for that—although I must admit that you look very cute in all of the outfits.

He’d modestly say, as if he hadn’t furiously jerked off to your pictures seconds prior and subsequently planned his ownership over you.

[username]: Oh no! I didn’t mean to offend you… did you not like them?

[naoya]: Far from that, I liked them greatly, but I was hoping for something else.

[username]: I’ll do anything that you want.

He smiles, he can’t wait for you to say those words in a different context.

[naoya]: How about we go out, get something to eat? 

[username]: Would you really do that for me? I don’t want to abuse your generosity…

[naoya]: I don’t think a beauty like you could ever do that…

[username]: Naoya-kun… you’re too kind to me! And I barely even know you… are you sure this is ok?

The way you described him, act hesitant towards him… it was all energy that if you’d bothered to know him on a more personal level, would never dare to use on him. 

But you don’t need to know that, not right now anyways. Not when he still had to secure the catch.

[naoya]: Set the date and I’ll pick you up. And don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’m actually… excited to see you. 

[username]: Ah! You’re too smooth for me!! Are you sure you don’t have a girlfriend?! But if it’s no problem… See you the day after tomorrow?

[naoya]: See you then, Y/N..

And so, 2 days pass, and you see him on what turned out to be the first of many “dates” you’d begin to have with Naoya. 

The first place that he would take you, in efforts to impress you and seal your interest in him, was a small restaurant located on the wealthy side of the city, a place known to be prestigious for the likes of him, yet secretive. 

Emphasis on the last word, the main reason why he took you there: You didn’t really fit with what many socialite’s would consider… adequate, more so due to the attire you’ve decided to wear that way—A hot pink mini skirt, with a slit on your left side, and a white long sleeved off-shoulder top, which Naoya quickly noted to be your favorite style. 

Luckily there was no dress code required at the restaurant… not that they would dare kick the Zen’in heir out, but still… 

Either way, as much as he wanted to get in your pants, he didn’t want to be seen attempting to, so he requested to be seated in the most distant part of the restaurant.

Luckily for him, you didn’t question his decision when he ordered the server to place the two of you in a private booth—far too enthralled by the fancy aesthetic of a place you never been before, and never thought you would, to even care.

You felt like a fish out of water, intimidated by this new aura that seemed to provoke a sense of departure from you, but Naoya’s striking golden eyes and handsome smile managed to keep you by his side, as well as the distracting ice-breakers he used to get you to open up to him and become comfortable around him.

Not that he really cared about your personal background, but if he wanted to play the part of listening and caring friend, and see if he had to deal with any loose ends once he finally made you his, he had to commit.

And you obliged, revealing to have a family of living parents which were still married, an older brother who studied accounting, an older sister who studied engineering, both having successful and thriving careers, and… you. The younger sister.

“Do they agree… with your lifestyle?” He has the sudden urge to ask, which makes him immediately regret not being able to control his words, however, his worries escape through a subtle sigh when he hears you respond nonchalantly.

“Oh, I don’t live with them. And it’s been a while since I last saw them, or had contact with them, I guess they’re just too busy to do so!” You giggle, completely oblivious to the information you just disclosed.

«Why am I not surprised?» Naoya silently snickers. If he had to fill the blanks, he assumed that you were kicked out of the house for acting like the whore you are. He had no evidence, but no doubts either. «I have to commend them, really. They unknowingly set you on my path… But don’t worry, I’ll take you under my wing. And who knows? Maybe I'll be able to mold you into a woman they’ll be finally proud of»

“What about you, Naoya-kun? What’s your family like?” You’d ask, and he frowned.

You didn’t need to know of his highly prestigious background, or the wealth that he owned.

Why did you need to know anyways? So you could attempt to suck out money, more than he’s already given you, from him? No, you don’t need to know that—you had no need for that; if you wanted to suck off something it would be his cock, not his family’s riches.

But even then, it doesn’t bother him that much, because he knows because he knows that you’d take whatever it is that he gives you, like the sleazy obedient girl you’re beginning to promise him. So he just gives you the following poor excuse of an answer.

“I don’t like talking about work, baby, it’s stressful and boring most of the time and I don’t want to ruin my time with you bringing that up”

And just as how he expected, you ended up falling for his charm—no, more than falling for him—completely succumbing to his act, evident by the way you pressed your body against him and reached over to softly kiss his cheek, redness in your face as you sheepishly murmured:.

“I’m sorry, Naoya-kun. I didn’t mean to upset you…” you say, resting your head against his shoulder as you inched as close as possible to him and wrapped his arm against your body.

The way he’s able to feel your breasts has him tense and hot in his seat, speechless as you ignorantly continue on with the conversation “We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to! How about… what’s your favorite meal from here? Or what do you like to do as a hobby?”

He swears he can feel himself falling in love with your idiocy. He didn’t have to do much to have you folding to his misdirection. If he keeps on this path, it wouldn’t take long before he could claim you as his and finally have fun. 

In fact, he thinks he might need to do less than that, because why else would act that way, if deep inside, you weren’t expecting the same?

That had been his popular belief, until one day, after going out on a date and subsequently bringing you back to your apartment,  he realized he miscalculated your lascivious behavior.

It was after a silent ride back home, late at night, but his mind was anything but quiet. 

The two had gone out to get a few drinks that night, with Naoya hoping to soften you enough to finally get what he wants from you, and you… well, wanting nothing more than to spend more time with the man you eventually labeled as your knight in shining armor.

You had taken perhaps a bit too much to drink to even notice the way Naoya’s gaze was basically eating you from head to toe. And he couldn’t wait for the moment he’d stop the car and finally claim you as his—he initially planned on having you in a more secluded, comfortable area for maximum enjoyment, but the way your body was unknowingly inciting him, by either rubbing against him, even “unintentionally” brushing your ass against his crotch while dancing, he guessed he could take a raincheck on that idea.

When he finally arrives at your familiar apartment complex, he’s quick to turn off the engine, unfasten his seatbelt and lunge himself over you, clashing his hungry lips against yours in such a hurried way that you’re unable to do anything else but whimper against his mouth out of surprise by the sudden action, before melting against his touch.

You moan, indulging in the lustfulness Naoya’s desperation once apparent when he coveted your lips, pulling you as close as possible to him as he continued to devour your mouth. 

It’s almost as if he wanted to imprint your taste in his tongue, giving you little to no space to breathe, no energy to react, aside from whimpers and moans when his lust became too much for you to handle.

Subduing completely when it was time for his thumbs to imprint your figure on them, roaming each and every curve he could get his hands on, areas you never thought were capable of bringing you goosebumps, less jolts of pleasure.

However, as much as Naoya confidently declared his enjoyment of this advancement, you were still struggling to receive his affections as openly as you were supposed to. 

Your mind was struggling to come to a conclusion, for everything happened so suddenly.

A few seconds ago you were looking forward to getting back home, changing into something more comfortable and maybe asking Naoya to stay and watch some movies, but before you were even able to process your arrival, he’d attacked your lips.

To say that you didn’t feel… good for his desire would be a blatant lie, which made this whole ordeal even more difficult.

It was obvious that he wanted you, why else would he do all the nice things he did with you? Yet, it was also obvious what he wanted to do with you, becoming clearer and clearer by the second as he continued to attack your lips, and now, the waistband of your skirt.

However, your indecision would come to a screeching halt when his hands landed on your breasts, groping and pinching the sensitiveness of your mounds, which caused you to gather all of your strength onto your arms and push him away.

His sudden departure is one that goes undetected by Naoya at the first instance, believing it to be nothing more than a reflection of your overwhelmed senses and is quick to attempt to latch back to your body, but when you repeat the same gesture and with a startled face no less, he’s finally able to recognize this as anything but an incident, subsequently discarding any leniency he had towards your initial lapse and look down at you with irrefutable indignation.

“What the fuck?” are the first words that flow past his lips, and this, being the first time you’ve seen his anger, you don't know how to react outside of shyness and regret.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Naoya-kun” you begin to murmur, looking down to your lap “I… well… I—”

“What?” he scowls “Look up to me Y/N.” he orders, and you, hoping to lessen the gravity of your actions, do as requested “What the fuck was that about?!

“I… I don’t know” you confess “I just… I was just startled, that’s all”

“Startled” He repeats mockingly. Naoya wishes to bring the explicit pictures you’ve sent him throughout the duration of this… arrangement, as evidence of your quiet compliance, but he also desires to know what your stupid mind fashioned as a justification to your action, so, he goes down another path. “Did you not expect this to happen one day or the other?”

You remain quiet, unsure what to respond.

“Answer me, Y/N!”

“That’s not… That’s not what I meant” You cry, shaking your head as tears now begin to form in the corner of your eyes. Naoya had never been this… intimidating to you before, but even with this short demonstration, you’re able to say that you never wished to see this ever again. “I just… I just don’t want to ruin what we have”

“What we have…. And what is that, hm?” he sneers, finding your responses to be more and more laughable by the second.

“...I feel like… if we go too fast… you… might not want to see me anymore”

“Huh?” Naoya is, once again, baffled by your seemingly stupid conclusions. Or perhaps you caught on to his intentions? “What are you even talking about”

Silence envelops the two, a crushing stillness that has you feeling more and more hopeless before him and his penetrating gaze.

You wished things would’ve proceeded differently, happening in a much more… wholesome way, as you always imagined your first love to be. 

But you console yourself by remembering that all relationships had rocky moments, and all of them were different. Maybe yours was to have one from the very beginning. 

Whatever the outcome, there’s no denying that you’d been dying to tell him something for a very long time, in fact, you feel it slowly fighting its way out from your heart and onto your throat at this very moment..

And while his actions were a bit unexpected… there was no other way to perceive them than reciprocated feelings, and subsequently, the right moment to tell what you’ve been aching to confess to him….

“I really like you, Naoya” you declare, through ruby-red cheeks and flickering gazes between your trembling fingers and his golden eyes, silently fighting with two sides of your emotions: fear of rejection… and suspense for acceptance. “I’ve… I’ve known for a while now, and there’s nothing more than I would like to be with you! I always look forward to spending time with you, going out with you, and… obviously doing these things too… But… I want to take it slow… because I don’t want to mess it up. I don’t want you to think I wanted something else from you”

Naoya’s eyes widened, and the anger he felt for your unwanted disruption was quickly replaced with surprise.

Did you… did you just… confess your feelings for him?

Oh.

Oh, he doesn’t know what to say, how to react—outside of the sweet relief of accomplishment.

This was way better than he imagined things turning out to be!

Had it been any other woman under this situation, she would’ve pulled out the stops and exited the car, especially after the slightly degrading way he spoke to you just now, and he would’ve naturally set his eyes on a new endeavor, not bothering to mend something unsalvageable.

But that’s not what happened, at all. If anything, you essentially revealed yourself to be captured by his ambitions. 

Not only that, but to be deeply infatuated with him!

These observations bask him with nothing more than a perverted variation of fulfillment a narcissistic person often gets when efficiently manipulating others. The signs of your compliance, even through your slight offense and his disrespect, gave him the understanding that you’ve handed yourself to him to be exploited.

Sure, still somewhat far from what his ultimate goal is, but there’s always something good to rescue out of the bad.

The pieces were finally falling into place and it could literally not have been any more perfect.

“Oh… Y/N” Naoya would eventually respond after a few seconds of silence. His tone is low, soothing, and his face sorrowful, as if attempting to show his regret and pain for having treated you the way he did. “I didn’t mean to scare you, princess…”

You don’t respond, outside a slight pout on your lips and your watery eyes looking up to him.

“Truth to be told… I also have feelings for you. And how couldn’t I? Whenever we go out I have the best time of my life… I did this because I thought you liked me too… but I guess I misinterpreted our relationship”

“Naoya—!”

“It’s ok, I understand. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did... We can just act like this didn’t happen at all and move on, or… stop talking to each other completely”

“No! That’s not what I want!” You gasp, guilt starting to settle in your heart, a sign of Naoya’s manipulation taking a hold of your conscience. “I was… well, startled. It’s my first time feeling this way… so I didn’t know how to react. But I really do like you! I like you a lot! And I want to continue seeing you… if you let me”

“I like you too, Y/N” Naoya murmurs, softly rubbing his thumb against your cheek, wiping away a tear, an endearing distraction to hide the devious intent behind his following actions. “But I’m too hurt by the way you reacted to think about anything else right now”

“Naoya… please don’t say that! I’m very sorry!” you plead as another wave of tears falls down your cheeks “Please don’t be sad… There's nothing more I want than to see you happy! ...Is there…. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”

Naoya fights as hard as he can to push back a smirk from parting his lips.

“There is something” he threads, slowly, carefully, like a predator ready to pound its prey. “But… I don’t know, it’s stupid—nevermind”

“No, it’s not! It’s not stupid…. Please…. tell me” you whine “please”

“I was just… wondering. As long as something isn’t touched, it means it’s fine with being seen, right? Just like in the museums”

“I… guess that makes sense” you agree, tilting your head to the side as you struggle to understand how that correlates with making him feel better. “But what do you mean?”

It’s painfully obvious that he’s setting you up, but your naïve mind prohibits you from perceiving danger from your beloved Naoya. Making you an even easier target for his immoral desires.

“Your tits”

“W-what?” you blink, perplexed.

“Show me your tits” He repeats, as if it was the most natural, obvious thing to tie in with his analogy, certainly so after a slight argument. “As long as I don’t touch you, it should be fine, right? That way, we can both be happy—I’ll get what I want, and I’ll respect your limits”

“Oh… I don’t know, Naoya… it’s so… sudden”

“Ah, I should’ve known.” he laments, looking away from you. “It was something stupid after all”

“It’s not stupid…”

“No, it is. Forget about it, I shouldn’t have asked you that” he sighs “... I just assumed that… well, since you already send me pictures, you know, the ones where you always look so pretty, I thought it wouldn’t be that much of an issue to ask my girlfriend to do the same but in person”

You were no stranger to generous rain of compliments when you performed rather amicably or dressed up nicely, always seeming to relish on the attention to make you feel appreciated and loved.

But when they came from Naoya, a person you’ve grown to cherish and admire, it gave you a dosage of recognition you never received before. It’s why you were so eager to comply to his requests, whether to go out with him and let him decide each and every location of this outing, taking no consideration to your preferences, stopping a stream simply because he wants to play with you privately, or ultimately changing your schedule to fit his, much to your followers discontent… These were just small sacrifices for him to be happy and perhaps take your relationship to the next step.

You never thought it capable to like Naoya any more than you already did, but you were earnestly proven wrong when he implicitly declared the formalization of his courtship with you.

The apex of your longings makes your heart soar, and just like you’ve always done, obliging to his request.

“Close your eyes” it’s what you tell him, and for the first time in his life, Naoya obeys orders that do not come from him without questioning.

Without seconds to waste, you carefully hook your fingers underneath your top and lift it, stopping just by the beginning of your collar bone and keeping it there as you muster the courage to lay bare before your now boyfriend.

You take a deep breath, swallow your nerves and proceed:

“Open your eyes”

No amount of pictures, or imagination, could ever compare to the reality before him: the pair of soft breasts that he’d been dreaming about for weeks now, were finally revealed to him. And much better than he could’ve ever thought so.

He’d always been one to judge women’s bodies, whether it being an addition or subtraction of something so they would fit his impossible criteria.

But with you, he finds himself admitting that there’s nothing to change—although he wouldn't mind taking a physical test to remove all doubt.

Your breasts were of a perfect size, enough to benevolently fit in his hands. Your nipples, the ones that you’d incessantly tease him with whenever posing for selfies, were protruding just slightly thanks to the cold atmosphere inside the car, which caused him no concern if you wanted the heater to be turned on—if anything, he was grateful you’ve decided to not wear a bra for the day, prompting him to make a mental note on you to eradicate the undergarment from your closet all together.

Naoya wished to defile them in all ways imaginable—mark them as his own, fill them with hickeys, bites, use them as de-stress toys after a long day of work, prohibit you from ever wearing something to cover them from his eyes whenever present, and who knows? If he persists long enough, he just might force something out of them—whatever it took for your little mind to understand these weren’t yours anymore, but his. 

It was highly paradoxical how timidly you were behaving a few minutes ago, even more laughable to see that all that he needed to do was guilt trip you to still get a piece of what he wanted.

The longer he observes you, the stronger the desire inside him to caress you becomes, to the point where he’s no longer able to keep his side of the bargain, and like second nature, his hand begins to approach your skin.

But before he’s able to brush your warmth, you playfully smack his hand away, snapping him out of his trance and looking up to your flushed face.

“You said no touching” you remind him with a giggle, before a shiver bolts through your spine “...I’m cold” 

“Right” Naoya addressed, now observing how you pull your top back in its place before rubbing your arms with your palms. In a way, he was glad that your voice was able to put a stop to this madness he felt slowly growing in the constraints of his pants, because if you didn’t… he didn’t know what he would’ve done. He tested your limits just enough, he knows how to be patient.

“...Did you… like it?” You ask to fill the awkward silence between the two.

“Of course I did, baby. I knew my good girl could never disappoint me”

At the usage of good girl, a nickname you’ve never been graced with before, and the soft smile decorating his handsome face, your heart skips a beat. You seem to be surprised over and over again on just how much you’re able to love Naoya, a realization that prompts you to gift him a sweet smile of your own as you reach to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“I had fun” You say, your thumb softly rubbing his knuckles as you reflect on tonight’s date “I always do whenever we go out”

“That’s good to hear. I also enjoy the time we spend together” Naoya responds with a statement that’s surprisingly genuine coming from him “Let’s get you back to the apartment before it gets too cold”

You nod, and he gets out of the car first. You stay inside, waiting for him to go around and open your door. 

This wasn’t a common agreement, at least not at the beginning; the first time you exited the car without his help he seemed to get pretty upset about it, reminding you that it was his duty as a man to do so. His dedication to chivalry on the subsequent days is what perhaps led you to believe you felt something more than just friendship for him.

Naoya then guides through the apartment complex and onto the metal door you recognized as home.

It was a decent place, your boyfriend noted, not too shabby—with a few adjustments here and there to be done, but nothing urgent. It went well with your income… although he could get you something much better, but for that you’d have to be more than just eye candy.

He watches you put the pin code of your lock, opening the door and stepping inside the apartment. Once he considers you to be safe, he bids you farewell.

But just before he’s able to leave, you tug him by the hand, moving him to just a few inches away from him and pulling him by the collar down to your level, and then, you place your lips onto his for a kiss. 

It lasted for only a few seconds, and it was nothing if not sweet and soft. Your rendition of a farewell, to pour your feelings onto it and remind him just how much you care for him.

And most importantly, your first kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Goodnight, Naoya” you whisper once you pull away from his face, eyes flickering from a black space next to him and back to his eyes. “I…—Thank you… for… everything. For all the gifts you’ve given me, the places you’ve taken me… and most importantly, for being patient with me. I really am the luckiest girl in the planet for having someone like you”

You peck him on the lips once more and with that, you turn around and vanish into the safety of your home.

Naoya is left behind to deal with the aftermath of today’s successions. He wouldn’t say that it was something he expected, but certainly it’s not something he would complain about.

This could’ve really turned out for the worst, but fate wasn’t to go against those that work hard, just like Naoya had done. Even with this slight delay.

If anything, your sweet kisses were the signal that he was looking for to indicate him he was going down the right path.

He just has to keep watering you, like a flower, and it wouldn’t take long before you finally bear fruits. 

And that’s what it seemed to occur from that day forward.

With the limit of your sexuality already reached, Naoya was able to kick things up a notch: he’d begun to demand far more explicit things from you, things that would literally get you banned from any social media if you even dared to post them. There was no more coy playing, no more teasing: he wanted the absolute exposure of your body for him to indulge in. 

He’d order you to spread the lips of your pussy so he could see the cute color of your insides, showing him the rim of your tight little ass, asking you if you’ve ever touched yourself there, to which you’d deny in embarrassment, for how could he ever assume you’d do something like that! To straight up send him recordings of how you’d play with yourself, if you hypothetically did such a thing.

All things that you obliged without questioning, because there was nothing to be ashamed of, after all, wasn’t he your boyfriend? He was just preparing you for the moment this would eventually happen, so you wouldn’t be too squirmish when he was finally ravishing you.

And his greatest achievement yet, he even managed to convince you to do certain things when you were before him, without the obstacle of a screen between the two. The epitome of his influence would be the day he got you to rub his cock, with the pretense of getting familiar with what would basically be inside you, so as to lessen your tension.

You complied to everything, although shyly, and with hesitance that could be compared to inexperience. But Naoya didn’t care, that was something that could be easily fixable, all that you needed to do was let him guide you and you’d soon be a natural—you already had the theoretical part of what it takes to be a whore thanks to your streaming career, you just needed to nail the practical part with him.

But as close as he felt as he was, he couldn’t be any further away from his goal.

It was only a matter of time before Naoya began to realize that no matter how many gifts he gave you, how many dates he took you to, or how many times he’s tried to convince you that he wants more than just simple touches here and there… you were not succumbing to his needs.

He’d unknowingly bumped into a dead end, and he began to grow desperate.

He’s never had to struggle so much with a woman before—he never had to, his good looks, prestige, and money often did the job. He just had to flaunt it to whatever catch he wanted to obtain and that was it.

But you… you’re fighting back against him. 

You’re confusing, you’re flirtatious with him when online, but when the two of you are together, it is as if you’re a completely different person. Often pulling out the excuse that you want to take things slow with him, that you’re afraid of ruining whatever relationship the two of you have going on, or that you’re too inexperienced and want to feel a bit more confident before going all the way.

He was only willing to play the game of patient, kind, and loving boyfriend without getting anything in return for so long.

His patience was inching dangerously close to its limit, but it wasn’t until one late night after an unfortunate losing streak from his favorite video game that he would begin to lean towards detonation. 

“Oh… um… looks like we lost again” you say as the defeat banner flashes across your screen. This had been, yet again, another loss to add to the countless list of defeats of the day. You were bummed, disappointed. Believing to have all the advantage to win, but as the system marked, it was not to be your fate.

However, these setbacks hold little to no space in your mind, not when you’ve long accepted these are things that happen regularly when playing online. Besides, you were playing alongside Naoya, and you wouldn’t let this minor inconvenience sour the time you were having with him!

“But I still think we did pretty good!” you’d say, attempting to lighten up the mood upon noticing his silence. You might’ve been a bit more easy going when it came to accepting defeat, but Naoya, always the competitive one, had a harder time doing so. Luckily for him, you were there to balance his anguish with your liveliness, just as you hoped by suggesting the following. “Wanna play another match? Or maybe we can take a brea—”

“This is fucking bullshit!” Naoya’s voice suddenly thundered through your headphones, cutting through your words and silencing you subsequently.

It’s not uncommon for Naoya to curse whenever he’s feeling unlucky, so you don’t react much to it. Gaming was one of his few escapades after all, and he lives a rather stressful life thanks to his job (or so you presume, he doesn’t tell you much), so you allow him to do whatever he needs to do to vent out his frustrations.

However, his rage has never extended onto the physical realm, and when the sound you assumed to be his hands slamming against the keyboard became apparent through your speakers, you decided it was necessary to intervene.

“Naoya-kun… hey, it’s ok—” you’d begin, only to be interrupted once more.

“There’s no fucking way we lost!”

“Babe… it happens! Sometimes you’ll get paired with a team of a higher rank, especially after a winning streak, but that’s alright! I’m sure we can win the next one, and if you want, I can bring one of my friends to he—”

“I don’t think the other team was the problem” He suddenly says, grabbing your attention almost immediately upon implying something that went against your common belief. “In fact, I don’t think they’re the problem at all”

“What do you mean?” you cautioned, mind scattering to find a justification behind his wording.

This is only the third day you’ve played this game —which he coincidentally pre-ordered for you just so the two could play together— so it would make sense as to why Naoya would consider you as the reason for this loss, however, this is nothing different from other games from the same genre, if not from a different dynamic here and there.

So, to think you’ve actually cost your team the victory was something you still had trouble accepting completely. “I… still think we did good”

Nonetheless, Naoya’s words were never direct, an ulterior motive always underlying, but your rose-tinted glasses never allowed you to detect such fallacy from your beloved partner. Which would ultimately be your demise.

“God, you’re so stupid, aren’t you?” Naoya accused, having stopped listening to your soothing words from the very moment you opened your mouth. “It’s so clearly obvious and you just can’t fucking see it”

“See… it?” you faltered, feeling even more confused than before “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Naoya-kun… our stats are pretty good, I mean, maybe I could’ve focused a bit more when we—”

“Unbelievable, you’re always like this” Naoya mocks, finding your naïve mind to be… incredulous, as he’d always have “It’s always the fucking same, you’re too dumb, too distracted to notice what is going on around you. Why am I even wasting my time with you?”

“Then tell me” you say, trying to fight against the pain his stinging words bring to you—they feel like needles against your heart, but you think of them as him trying to get out his frustration for a long night of defeats, nothing more, nothing less. “Tell me so I won’t do it again”

And he was, in a way. But the percentage relating to his anger before the game was minuscule when it came to the general frustration he’d been carrying towards you for the last few days, and your inability to give him what he wanted. This was nothing more than a cover for his true feelings, which, thanks to your urgency to please him, would finally come undone and plunge him into losing all of his inhibitions.

“Hah! I really do have to spell it out, don’t I? I give you money, I give you food, I give you clothes, and still, you can’t think anything with that stupid little brain of yours, can you?” he’d begin to rant, disclosing the inner thoughts he’d always had when around you.

“I know you’re angry, Naoya-kun, but you don’t have to say that…” to say that you were agonizing due to his words would be an understatement, but even with the pain he’s merciless inflicting on you, you still find it in you to defend his excuses under the basis that he was just angry and that deep inside him, he loved you.

Oh… if only that were true.

“Oh, really? Then how do you want me to say it to you? By ordering you to open your legs and show me? Because that’s the only thing you’re good at—no, not even that!” He laughs “You won’t even do that! Because you’re too afraid, too scared to do something that might ruin what we have” 

He’d said mockingly, using what you trusted him with against you. A clear tactic of a narcissistic, someone that can’t see beyond their own nose. 

This unexpected side of Naoya has you bewildered, disoriented, that you didn’t even notice when you’ve began crying, only that your cheeks were already soaked.

“Stop it, Naoya! You’re being rude!”

“Ah, of course, because when I’m not giving you attention and money, I’m being rude”

“That’s not what I said!” you cried. “I’ve—I’ve never said that! Never!”

“I’m wasting my time with you” He repeats, a sentence that plummets down onto you like a bucket of ice cold water. “I’m giving you all that you want, and yet, you don’t give me what I want, because you apparently want to take things slow—but you're not slow when you’re being a whore to your followers!”

“Naoya!” You bawled “Why—why are you even saying this? It was just a game! We can still play again and win another match! You—you don’t have to get all this angry and ugly with me—!”

“I’m done with you” He says coldly “I’m done spending my fucking time and money with you. I should’ve seen this coming the moment I set eyes on you. Whores like you are only for a good time, but you’re not even good for that”

…

…

…

“...Is that what you think of me?” you manage to ask through a constrained throat. It’s a miracle that you were even able to speak a whole sentence without crying or stammering.

But it was all for naught.

And when time passes, and all that you could hear from Naoya was the occasional exhale from his nose—too consumed by his anger, alongside the sensation that there is nothing more to say— you hang up the call, exit the lobby, and log off.

Naoya somehow manages to go to bed that night: not without repercussions of course.

He’s angered and frustrated when his head hits the pillow. But not because of his actions towards you, no, if anything, he thinks what he did was a long overdue reality check.  

He was upset because all of his efforts officially concluded in fruitless results. For a man as successful as he’d always been, this was a rather unwanted turn of events. He never had to struggle this much to obtain what he wanted, it had always been a matter of just asking and he’d receive it. 

But you, a simple woman with nothing more than air in her head, proved to be more of an annoyance than he ever thought you would be. 

You were promising at first. There was something that pulled his attention to you whenever he found himself with free time to think. 

Yet, that had been a grave miscalculation on his part. Thus, could you blame him for being frustrated? It was only natural that after pouring so much effort, gifts, attention, money onto you, you’d give him something back.

And yet, you didn’t. 

It’s why he allowed himself to last out the way he did. That, and because Naoya knew that you’d be running back to him after your insignificant emotional charade was over. 

After all, he essentially ensured his place in your life after becoming the sole income of your commodities. You were dumb, but not that dumb. And you wouldn’t risk losing all that just by running away, would you?

So, he’s able to go to sleep and move on with his life when the sun rises the next morning.

Taking into consideration his train of thought, the first thing that he does once completely awake is check his phone if there’s any notifications from your part. He doesn’t keep his phone connected to the wi-fi throughout the night under the excuse of not wanting to receive messages from work—if it was urgent, then they’ll have to wait until he’s at the office.

Something that you knew perfectly, which led you to message him directly to his personal number first thing in the morning. A short good morning! Text which came either before you went to bed after a long stream, or when waking up…

He glances at the “messages” app in hopes of finding a red circle on its corner. It’s there, but...

There’s nothing from your section.

There are no new messages from you. The only ones filling his inbox are those of his brothers demanding an explanation regarding his bank statement which had suddenly been plagued with incalculable expenses from a few weeks ago to now.

The answer was obvious, everything pertains to you, but he’s not one to tell them things that aren’t his business so he limits himself to rolls his eyes and deletes their messages before moving onto your social media.

If you haven't messaged him there, he was sure he’d find you to be active on your instagram. It was your most active social media, the place you’d spent most of your time, right after twitch, under the pretense of wanting to share a bit of your personal to your large following. He considered it to be… redundant, nothing more than to show off. But as the businessman as he was, he had to commend your commitment to keep them hooked on your “brand”

Naoya once attempted to get you to stop posting all together, so as to keep you solely for his eyes, but you denied his request, citing that “you couldn’t defraud your faithful followers!”

Noting this to be a senseless battle, he lets it go.

So, he rightfully assumes that you were already posting shit about being hurt and betrayed and whatnot, all in an attempt to obtain pity from them, because he’d be damned if he decides to allow it from himself.

But… he’s wrong.

There’s nothing new coming from your side. No new story, no new post, not even a livestream—nothing but complete radio silence.

He wants to admit that this is somewhat concerning considering how active you are throughout the day, but his pride is all too powerful to even let him feel anything else but anger, tricking him into believing that this is nothing more than a cry for attention for your followers, or more specifically, him.

So, he closes the app, gets ready, and moves on with his day. 

He goes to work as if nothing happened, finishing up some projects that his family has been pestering him about for the past few weeks, a timeline that he could’ve easily spent focusing on his job instead of you, but for someone as talented as him, it was only a matter of focusing for a few hours to get done with all of them.

It’s during his lunch break that he finally decides to check his phone for traces of your presence. Naoya expects you to have already messaged him, probably hungry trying to get a free meal out of him—only to be surprised that you remained quiet. There isn’t an update to be found anywhere from your social media, not even directly to him.

You were essentially off the grid for well above 12 hours and he… he can’t help but start to feel worried. But his concern doesn’t flood him until you missed your scheduled stream for the day and the subsequent ones.

Your followers were also aware of your sudden silence, but their assumptions are not confirmed until you went a whole week without posting anything. It’s only then that they decide to flood your posts with comments to reflect their concern, and hopefully… an answer to this agonizing mystery.

It’s rare for you to miss so many streams like this, I hope you’re ok, Y/N-chan 🙁

What happened?? Are you sick or something? I was looking forward to tonight's stream! It’s the only day I get to see you!

Maybe she forgot about it??

Nah, that’s impossible, she never does that, not without telling us anyways.

Did she get hacked maybe?

Don’t think so, all of her things are still here. If she were hacked, she would’ve started posting some crypto shit.

Did she go missing?? Can someone ask any of her friends if she’s ok??

It was only a matter of time she would ditch us after getting all that money from us. She scammed us 🙄

Scam?? Are you an idiot??? She’s giving us free content, the least you could do is support her! Besides, this is very rare coming from her…  Something must be going on; if you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.

She could be in danger for all we know… should we call the authorities?

The last comment makes something daunting resonate inside Naoya—agitation strikes his chest as he plunges for his phone and types your number. 

He… he doesn’t think you’d actually do something just because you were upset with him… right? But there’s nothing wrong in making sure either! 

But what if you did? What if you did do something because of what—

For the first time in his life, he finds himself indecisive when it comes to you, sinking deeper and deeper into his despair when the phone continues to ring and you are yet to pick up.

At least you haven’t blocked him, he attempts to console himself, or discarded your phone because either option would’ve sent him straight voicemail or the warning messaging of a disconnected number.

Alternatives that did nothing to ease his concern, worsening when each attempt continued to give him the same results.

His apprehension is eating him alive, and by each passing day, each passing hour, he can’t stop thinking about you, that is, until he finally concludes that he needs to know if you’re alive, or that at least still living in the same city, or he won’t be able to live anymore.

A newfound determination Which leads him to muster up all his courage and make way to your apartment once and for all.

He jumps out of the car as soon as the engine is turned off, not caring if he locked the doors or if he parked in the right spot—the neighbors could call a tow truck, or rob him for all he cared for. All that he wanted to do was see you again.

Naoya runs towards your apartment complex, skipping through the steps until he arrives at your recognizable door, frantically ringing your doorbell to urge whoever’s on the other side of the door to attend to him. 

His heart is beating painfully against his chest, ears ringing as nobody seems to answer his call—a dark premonition becoming a reality.

Did you really leave? Did his words really hurt you that much, that you decided to just leave everything behind and disconnect from the world? No. That couldn’t be—you wouldn’t dare leave him without saying a word! He… he gave you everything you ever wanted, how could you let a few words he only meant at the heat of the moment change what the two of you had? What you felt for him?! It didn’t matter, if that was the case, then the only thing he had left to do was to find you. Bring you back to him even if it means going to the end of the world to do so.

His family had connections all across the country, he was sure he could set some kind of bounty on you to find your whereabouts, and once you’re back with him, he would never—

“Coming!” A voice comes from the other door. It’s soft, distant, but carried an urgency as if the owner had been busy prior to their visit and was now rushing to tend to the door. It’s enough to quiet his rambling mind, at least for a few seconds. Unfortunately, his body continued to tremble with uneasiness, more so when quick footsteps were now heard within the vicinity.

The lock clicks open, and the door slowly slides to the outside.

Naoya’s blurry gaze falls onto the figure before him, releasing a heavy breath once he realizes who it is.

It’s you.

Naoya feels both elated and relieved to see you still living in the same apartment, and seemingly safe and sound, but you don’t hold the same sentiment, in fact, your intrigued face is quick to change into one of anger once you realize it’s your ex-boyfriend visiting you, and in accordance to your feelings, you’re quick to reach out for the door knob and slam the door shut on his face, that is, if he hadn’t been fast enough to see your reaction coming from a mile away and put his foot between the door and the frame, trapping you into confront him.

“Wait!” He huffs, placing his fingers on the edge of the door (while silently hoping you wouldn’t crush them) and pulls it back “Don’t—Don’t close the door on me!”

“Leave me alone!” you cry back, tugging and pulling at the door as hard as you can, almost as if you were intending to crush his fingers, or foot, or maybe even both. But having the upper hand when it comes to strength, Naoya is finally able to pull the door away from your grasp, forcing you to react with a quick gasp. “I—I said leave me alone! Why are you even here?!!”

“Isn’t it obvious?!” He cries back, pushing his way into your apartment. “I wanted to see you!” 

“And what for, huh?! Why—Why would you even want to see a stupid woman like me?!” 

Naoya is hit with a slight wave of regret upon being on the receiving end of his mistreatment. It has his conscience vacillating for a quick second before latching back to reality and refocusing on you.

“I just want to talk” He frowned “You were basically gone for a few days, don’t you think that’d be concerning for anyone?!”

“Why would it?” you breathe “You said I was nothing more than a whore—no, less than that! Why—why would anyone care—care about someone as worthless as me?!”

“Because you’re not worthless to me” Naoya blurts, and now it’s your turn to waver. It’s like whiplash after the last conversation you had with him—a sensation that naturally has you doubting his words.

“That’s not what you—”

“Yes! I know what I said!” He groans out of frustration, the harsh tone of his voice makes you flinch and take a step away from him. Naoya quickly notices your jolted eyes, and in fear of pushing you into another vanishing spiral, his eyes soften. “Just— please, I want to talk”

Whether to hurry this whole ordeal to an end, or because you never expected him to come seeking you… you allow him to stay.  

Naoya would’ve never assumed something happened to you by the looks of your apartment—it looked cleaned, organized, and decorated with things he recognized to be part of your hobbies.

An easy expectation to have, for he’d never visited your apartment in the short time he was dating you.

Had he been there before, he would’ve noticed that the cups were no longer in their respective cupboard, or that you have been eating nothing more than what you considered comfort food, an unhealthy lifestyle to reflect your unhealthy thoughts—but even if he became aware of that, you doubted he would’ve even cared.

However, your… “casual” attire stepped in where your home failed to do so. You were wearing nothing more than a light blue fleece tracksuit, a makeup-free face and a hairstyle that implied your need to stay inside the house, caring less if you looked good or not, you just wanted to be comfortable… and alone.

And if none of these things helped him understand your feelings, the somber look in your eyes, nothing but a shadow of the joyful glint they would usually carry, would.

Guilt sinks deeper inside his core as you proceed to close the door behind him, making your way back to one of the couches in your small living room and sitting as far away as possible from him.

By the way you refused to speak to him, not even to show common courtesy and offer him a glass of water, Naoya soon realizes it’s your method of telling him to start the conversation. After all, he’s the one that wanted to talk, no? Why shouldn’t he be the one to do so?

He’d been in situations where he’s the one leading conversations, through different and tense meetings that often entailed important deals that could either make or break his company and the legacy of his family.

In other words, Naoya is no stranger to stress and public speaking.

However, none of those nerve-wracking moments could compare to what he’s feeling now: he would’ve never imagined that talking to a woman, of all things, could have him shaking like a leaf.

But you weren’t any woman— you were the one he’d been fancying for a while now, invested so much time, so much energy… as well as gravely wronged.

All things that he’s never had the fortune of encountering before, but he wasn’t raised to cower away from the face of uncertainty, and just like his father taught him, he decides to approach the situation with the obvious.

“You… you’ve been gone” He begins, tensely looking at you as he debates whether to sit by your side or remain on his spot “And you’ve been avoiding me too”

“I needed a break” is all that you say, perhaps to deflect facing the truth. However, both knew this was nothing more than a fallacy and it wouldn’t take long before he calls it out.

“That’s bullshit!” He argued, a bit too loud for your liking, and you frown. Upon seeing your scrunched face, he’s washed over by another wave of guilt and retracts his words. “I mean… that’s not true. You never go absent on social media”

“What do you want me to say, Naoya?”

“The truth, for a start”

“If you’re going to act like that, you can leave my apartment—” you say, intending to push yourself up from the sofa, but Naoya walks over to your spot before you can do as much as lift an inch away from the furniture, followed by sitting by your side to keep you there.

“Fine, fine!” He breathes, holding your arm “I was worried, ok? You didn’t even answer my calls”

“I didn’t think you would care—I mean, who would care for a less-than-a-whore person like me? And don’t touch me!” you tug your arm away from him. 

“I didn’t think you’d overrea—”

“Shut it, Naoya!” you scolded “Is this—Is this all that you came here to do? Make fun of my feelings?! You—you hurt me!! I didn’t want to take your words at heart, thinking it to be nothing more than your anger speaking but when you started calling me those awful names…. that’s when I knew everything was a lie”

“What do you mean by a lie?” He counters “I gave you all you ever wanted, didn’t I?!”

“That’s not even the point! And even if it was… I—I thought you did it because you liked me. Me! Not…. not the person I was before the camera or in my social media, but because you wanted me. But… you don’t like me, do you? You don’t like me at all” 

Naoya blinks “How did you even get to that conclusion? We basically spent all of our free time together!”

“Because you don’t tell me anything about you! About your family, about your work. You don’t let me visit you at your office, you don’t want to go to public places, you haven’t even introduced me to your friends! It’s like you’re ashamed of me!” you sobbed, hiding your face with your hands to avoid embarrassing yourself before him any further “You made me feel ashamed of myself, that I—I thought maybe I… I shouldn’t even bother being here”

“What?” Naoya sputters, inching closer to you and grabbing your wrist in hopes of pulling them away from your face, but all that you do is turn away from him. “You can’t possibly be serious—”

“Am I lying?!” you shriek “Do you not avoid the topic whenever I ask you about your job, or your family, or when I tell you about places we could go, but you just shut them down because it’s too frequented?!”

“Now it’s a problem if I want to go somewhere private?!”

“Just admit that you don’t want to be seen in the public with me! That you’re ashamed of being with a whore like me! Why—why did you even stick around for so long if you don’t even like me?!”

If he was to answer that question, it would be an easy, direct “I just wanted to fuck you” explanation.

However… his conscience can’t seem to formulate that thought at the moment, because the reality was that… he no longer felt like that towards you.

In fact, he didn’t feel like that for you for a long time. now.

What initially started as just another “high-maintenance” hook up, nothing more of a relationship of benefit slowly became… something else.

Truth to be told, he was in complete agony the days you were absent in his life. He tried to focus on his job, get projects done, hold meetings, interview new candidates… but he couldn't. His mind always found himself back on your silent social media, or your non-responsive messaging chat, the vacancy of your cheerful good morning! That would greet him before anyone else.

The congratulatory cheer when he’d occasionally confide in you of a job well done after a long day at work, or the euphoric glint in your eye whenever you opened one of his gifts, followed by a hug and kiss on the cheek as a thank you before showing it off to your followers.

The silly videos you'd send him thinking they would make him laugh, or the long gaming sessions you’d give him, and only him, even when you have a large following that would literally do anything to be in the same room as you…

Or how you’d remember the little mundane details of his hobbies by gifting him items relating to such details, such as the newest manga book from whatever series he was currently reading, or a shirt that you saw one day at the mall and thought would fit him nicely.

Attention that none of the other women had bothered to give him, at least not as heart warming and genuine as you’ve done. 

They might’ve been appreciative of what he’d done, but it was clear that there were no intentions of appreciating him as a person. As Naoya, and not the heir of a rich company.

But you didn’t. He felt seen with you and…

And he didn’t know what he had until he’d lost it. When his hot headedness led him to discard you and subsequently, to the prospect of never seeing you again.

It’s now, found in your warm presence after so many cold absences, and in the reflections of all that you’ve done to him, that he realizes that you’ve always given him what he wanted and that he’s unequivocally fallen in love with you.

“I see” you murmur upon noticing his silence and… taking it as an affirmation to your painful suspicions “...please, leave me alone. And don’t look for me, I won’t be staying here any longer”

Naoya can’t move.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I have things to pack” you say as you stand up “I would appreciate it if you left me to do what I need to do”

He can’t believe your words. Or more like, he doesn’t want to believe them.

His worst fear, a life without you, is just moments away from becoming true. You had… had decided you no longer wanted him to be in your life—you were more than ready to toss him away, and… leave, never to see him again.

And that—that hurt him.

Is this how you felt when he told you all those things?

Oh… how could he ever do this to you?

He—he can’t let this end that way. He can’t let you go, not… not like this.

So, just as you were walking away, presumably heading back to your bedroom, Naoya jumped up from the sofa and ran towards you. You yelp as he pulls you by the arm and into his chest, quick to wrap his arms around you as he holds you as tight as he can without hurting you.

You thrashed and pushed him as hard as you could, wanting nothing more than to be away from the man that broke your heart in a million, irreparable pieces and never see him again.

But he can’t let you go, not until you hear what he was now absolutely sure of.

“I don’t like you” Naoya says, and you believe your heart to crumple once more, that is until… “I love you”

“W—what?” you gasp the only words that could escape your lips in this moment of incredulity.

“You heard me” he remarked “I… love you, Y/N”

“Don’t lie to me! I can’t—I can’t deal with more pain… please”

“You’re none of those mean words I told you” he continues on “I was angry, misguided for what I thought you wanted from me, what I thought I wanted from you, but these days without you have been nothing more than pure agony”

“Then why… why would you call me that?” you whispered against his shirt, quieting down your attack against him. “Why would you push me away?”

Because he was afraid you weren’t as interested in him as he was in you.

A materialistic world was all that Naoya has ever known in his life—give people what they want, and you’d be getting what you wanted.

But it seemed that no matter what he did, you just… never seemed to completely give yourself to him, almost as if you were holding off because… because you didn’t want him.

“I got… jealous… and scared” is what he’s willing to admit “I get jealous when I see you get all that attention… I just… I just think that maybe—”

“I might look at someone else?”

Naoya doesn’t respond, and you take his silence as a positive answer.

“Oh… Naoya….” you finally look up to him, soft eyes landing on his watery ones. “I would never, you know I would never”

He doesn’t want to respond, too ashamed to have believed you capable of pain, when all you’ve given him was happiness.

“It… also hurt me to be away from you… because… because I—I love you too”

Naoya freezes. It was now his moment to doubt his ears.

“Do you… do you mean that?”

“Of course I do” you smile with a sniffle “I thought I told you before but I’ll tell you again—I’ve never felt the way I do with you with anyone else. With you… I feel loved, safe. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you… so it pains me to hear that you’d think I would ever leave you”

“I'm just worried… you have a large following that seem to adore you”

“Well, that’s my job” You remind him “And… It's how we met… If I didn’t stream video games, we would've never met at that store… and subsequently, I would’ve never fallen in love with you. But… if it’s something that you don’t like… I can’t stop it all together”

“Would you do that for me?” Naoya asks, surprised by your sudden suggestion.

“...I didn’t like being away from you” you admit, pressing your cheek against his chest and listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. “You’re the only one that… has ever treated me like this. How you do… as nicely, lovingly as you do”

“...does this mean you won’t leave?” Naoya asks, and you shake your head.

“... I wasn’t planning on doing so permanently… I just wanted to try something differently”

“And your followers?”

“I… can arrange something. I know they’re not going to take it well but… I’m sure they’ll get over it” you grin “But I’m not sure how I’m going to pay for this apartment if I’m not working anymore”

“Come live with me”

“Wh—What?”

“... I can get something just for the two of us, away from our family” Naoya explains “The reason why I kept you away is because they’re not known for being very… friendly. If I told you just the amount of shit they get me into because they’re jealous of me”

“You don’t have to tell me anymore” You chuckle. “I believe you”

“Well, we should get back to packing your things if you want to move to my apartment”

“Now?!” You gasp “But I can’t leave if I have a lease!”

“Leave that to me, I’m sure your landlord wouldn’t mind getting an extra for your release”

“Oh, Naoya… I… I don’t know how I can ever repay you for all of this!”

“You can start… by doing my lunch” he sheepishly suggests, and the way your face lightens up has his heart fluttering.

“Does that mean…?”

“On certain occasions, there are days I have to go out”

You don’t let him say anything else as you pepper him with kisses all over his face. A gesture that Naoya takes with great pleasure as he reciprocates it with kisses of his own.

And so, this seals your acceptance of his apology. Followed by packing your things, changing your clothes, and leaving the apartment as soon as you were ready to go into his car and face your new life alongside him.

And how couldn’t you? He’s kind, loving, attentive, the kind of person anyone would want as a partner. He even looked for you to recognize he had messed up. 

It might also help that he’s the heir of a prestigious company, but you don’t think that influenced much when it came to forgiving him. 

Had you known he came from an important family, you would’ve treated him differently. You would’ve never set eyes on him after seeing him in a social event. You would’ve never approached him at the mall one Friday afternoon, under the pretense of looking for a physical copy of the newest release once you figured out he liked video games, or venerated him in the way you knew men of his kind often enjoyed to rope him into your claws, play coyly around him to get him to obsess over you, convince him that you love him and you could never imagine a life without him, and subsequently ensure a lifestyle of comfort for the rest of your days.

No, you could never do that.

After all, you’re nothing more than an oblivious woman, incapable of ever harming anyone, just as Naoya believed you to be :) 

#naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x your #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen #ask

[transmutationisms]

Sorry if this is kind of a loaded or unorganized question but I'm interested in seeing your observations: similar to how you've talked about how some viewers tried to absolve Kendall of his responsibility in the waiter's death, do you feel the scene with shiv and the threesome gets interpreted too 'sympathetically' as shiv trying to deal with her own orientation in a straight marriage instead of the more prominent power dynamics in that scene? I don't discount her as being attracted to women especially since the show plays with gender dynamics but I feel like focusing solely on that, makes her seem more powerless than how she actually is in that context.

And as you said before, Shiv is backed into corners and has less power than her brothers' due to misogyny, but coupled with some takes about her ending on the show I think this 'zero agency' interpretation is too unquestioned, not helped probably that the mainstream audience has also mostly unquestioned ideas about feminism and imperialism/capitalism (and also related to that, and on a more personal note, I find the meta posts people make about Shiv coupled with Andrea Dworkin excerpts a bit silly)

yeah i talked a bit about shiv's threesome here; to me it's very clearly supposed to recall other examples on the show of homoeroticism and homosexual desire that are only able to be expressed through power-bound relationships: tom and greg, roman and the personal trainer, the way kendall talks to lawrence. the violence and imbalance of these relationships (employer–employee; more to the point, capitalist–labourer) are the necessary preconditions for homosexuality to exist. it's the explicitly erotic extension of how logan can talk about 'fucking' someone in a business sense, even though the thought of actual homosexuality disgusts him.

specifically, shiv pursuing a yacht employee is supposed to recall the cruises scandal, which we know involved covering up sexual violence and the deaths of sex workers and migrant workers, and is pretty heavily implied to have also involved the 'wolf pack' engaging in outright sex tourism. shiv chooses a yacht employee specifically for this threesome because, like the others in the upper echelons of power at waystar, she sees this woman as disposable and as a tool for shiv to use as she wishes. the woman's 'consent' becomes ambiguous with this framing, and with the fact that the show excludes her perspective to indicate how shiv and tom take into account their own desires but not her agency. to them, she's a body, to be used for their sexual gratification; again, this deliberately echoes the way the cruises scandal involved the use, violence against, and then discarding of vulnerable bodies: those of dancers, sex workers, migrant workers, &c.

so, there is homosexual subtext in this scene, the same way there's homosexual subtext between roman and the personal trainer. and in both of these cases, the expression of homosexual desire is specifically enabled by these relationships being made structurally continuous with the larger patterns of violence and exploitation that the show discusses: capitalist exploitation, racism, misogyny, and so forth. homosexuality can exist if it's an articulation of violence; to analyse these scenes without reference to the violence of the social forms is missing their central function in the story.

in regards to the second half of your question: i really haven't spent enough time with dworkin's work to have a confident opinion on it, besides disliking the obvious issues (her anti-porn stance, transmisogyny / bioessentialism, &c). what i can say about shiv the character is that, whilst the show does portray her as being subjected to misogyny in her family and in the company, it also portrays her as benefitting from capitalist patriarchy insofar as she can leverage her wealth and whiteness. a lot of analysis of shiv fails to take this second part into account, or to contextualise the roys generally as capitalists (not just 'rich people') who are trying to consolidate a 21st-century empire. also, i don't think a framework like dworkin's is really capable of accounting for the way patriarchy deals with, eg, roman's effeminacy; the figure of the 'sissy' and the functioning of transmisogyny are actually, i would argue, critical to understanding how gender functions for the roys, waystar, and capitalism writ large.

#he doesn't even trust water

[decepti-thots]

springer for the ask meme?

one aspect about them i love: Springer is a character who is basically in the wrong story and, on some level, knows this. Or rather, he wants to believe that; he wants to believe that the problem is that he's in a story that doesn't allow for him to be the kind of uncomplicatedly good hero he feels like he ought to be, and so maybe it's OK if he's not. He's someone who has been complicit in a lot of terrible things because he told himself step-by-step that because they were the Good Guys, because he was the good influence, it couldn't possibly have actually been terrible that they did those things. And he keeps trying to make decisions that will correct this, that will actually set things right, and it never quite seems to work because it takes him so long to understand that the issue is that the Wreckers exist at all, and he can't have the fight without the violence underpinning it. Huh. Writing that out just made me draw a new parallel between him and Prowl, actually. Wild.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: Springer is a guy who has done really bad things, and enabled worse things. Impactor went too far after a loooong build up, one which Springer canonically managed to justify to himself for a very long time and was only able to try and fix when it was already too late. Not to mention that he turned a blind eye to the complicity of all the other Wreckers even in the aftermath. His own sense of innate goodness is what allowed that! And the Wreckers saga is, from his perspective, kind of this long trek to finding out what you can actually do about that.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: this is kind of coming at it sideways, but it includes him, so. I don't think Kup was a great influence in some ways! I think he loved Springer a lot and that this was immensely important. I also think that Springer was constructed in wartime and immediately handed over to a military guy with the explicit intent that he be shaped for said war, the main difference between him and an actual MTO mostly being that at least Springer didn't just wake up on the battlefield. Some of what Springer was as a Wrecker- willing to give himself over to violence and romanticize it as necessary and heroic, defining himself by a institution that inflicts it- probably arose from that before Impactor ever entered the picture, from what Kup taught him. I think it can be harder to acknowledge things like that when they come from the people who genuinely loved you, rather than people who outright mistreat you.

one character i love seeing them interact with: VERITY. I love their relationship so much. I think it's so important that the relationship that ultimately allows him to actually find a way to move beyond everything is a) the first relationship he really chose in a sense and b) the first relationship he forges away from the context of war. Verity, for all her accomplishments (RIP Overlord) is not a soldier. I love what we see of them in Requiem, where they've clearly been talking through a lot of his shit while they're living in that barn. They're dealing with things! She can tell him to talk about his weird robot Dad feelings! I love them.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: I don't know if it's that I'd say I want more of him and Tarantulas interacting. But gosh did I want more of Springer talking... about him. We get these little hints of how Springer has handled the revelation of who he is, we know he and Verity discussed it. But. It's so hard to get a handle on exactly how Springer feels about it. I guess that's kind of the point. But I still wanted it, haha. Alternatively, Roadbuster. If you've read Zero Point, you know we see a little of what Roadbuster caring for Springer looked like, and I would have loved to see a little more direct interaction in Sins before he... uh. Explodes.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Springer did not really get along with Ultra Magnus a lot of the time, though there wasn't any actual antagonism per se. The problem was that Springer always looked like a real moral beacon of the Wreckers until Magnus showed up, at which point the artifice became uncomfortably clear, because Magnus always remembered a dozen moral concerns that Springer was good at sliding past without acknowledging. It was just enough to remind him of all the qualms he managed to avoid thinking about too hard most of the time.

#ask meme

[midnightrings]

i think honestly there's zero chance for a stereotypical happy ending, like tim gets better or doesn't die (on screen), hawk comes out, gets a divorce and he and tim live happily together or something. but i think they're leading the story towards some sort of resolution between them, a reconciliation for lack of a better word, an emotional breakthrough. i would say it's likely they'll both confess and accept their feelings/love towards each other, though i can't say what would happen after that.

otoh, i really don't see hawk returning to his wife and them leaving for milan as if nothing had happened, and he's maybe a little less repressed about his sexuality, but otherwise everything's the same, ft is not a nihilistic pessimistic ~grimdark ~ show in the sense of nothing ever changes, effort is futile, people are bad bla bla. if they wanted a super sad tragic ending, they'd stick closer to the book and hawk would just find out about tim's death in the 80s, or come to sf too late, or something else, without a chance to make things right and reconnect.

I agree. I think it‘s difficult to say how they’ll end the show at this point, but I don’t believe that either of the extremes – happy ever after or a grim, meaningless conclusion – are very likely. The show is a drama that doesn’t shy away from showcasing the vileness of the time period. But it doesn’t just focus on the tragedy of it all. Even within Hawk and Tim’s relationship, there are more than enough sweet and hopeful moments. I didn’t read the book, but I have read about some of the changes the show has made, and especially the change to have Tim and Hawk reunite in the 80s is what makes me believe that they will make some sort of amends.

But at this point, it’s also rather difficult to say how they will end the show. And based on the synopsis of the final episode, we probably won’t have all the necessary information to really theorize about the ending until that episode. I think that there will be some form of closure for Hawk and Tim, but it might not include a love confession from Hawk, and he might even make a couple more mistakes before the ending. And Hawk will definitely be impacted by Tim’s death, but I feel like there are many different ways he might deal with it.

I do hope that the show will end on a somewhat optimistic note tho, despite its tragedy.

#fellow travelers #ft spoilers

[incorrectdaedra]

Theory: What if "Lord of the Never-There" is More Literal Than Expected?

Occasionally in Elder Scrolls, for one reason or another, reality undoes itself and things go missing. Reality has managed to lose civilizations, dragons, alternate timelines, and probably other things that I don't know about yet because Elder Scrolls lore is complicated as fuck.

Suppose something happens that accidentally erases a god. It erases that god and all memories of that god. The god never existed. Everything within their domain now came from nowhere. Everything they accomplished was now done by nothing. There's a sense of something missing, but no one can quite tell what it is.

No one except Sheogorath.

Sheogorath, Prince of Chaos and Insanity, sees things that don't exist and never existed all the time! Comes with being the Madgod! In the endless chaos of his realm, sometimes things that don't and never existed visit the Isles. All that does not exist, from the entire Dwemer race to the value of one divided by zero falls very loosely under Sheogorath's domain. I say loosely because he lacks any real control over them besides whether he chooses to acknowledge them or not. He is just more aware of the specific things that do not exist than other princes.

If Sheo can figure out precisely what stopped existing, the gods can come together and find a way to make it exist again, so long as it is deemed necessary.

When Hermaeus Mora finds his library lighter than moments before, when Azura sees a prophecy change without cause, when Akatosh knows time skipped itself, when Arkay's cycle loses too many souls, everyone looks to the Shivering Isles, where all that was never there resides.

#sheogorath #tesblr #the elder scrolls #daedra #daedric prince #tes

[timeskip]

Taking HxH worldbuilding maybe a little too seriously BUT

We know because of Meteor City that there's not an insignificant number of people in the HxHverse who don't legally exist, having been abandoned in Meteor City without being legally declared. And like! I'm pretty sure Kurapika doesn't legally exist either!

The Kurtas were extremely isolated, on purpose, and it seems that most of them didn't even speak the common language, or at least not often. Why would they take time to declare their children to the government? Especially since they're INTENTIONALLY keeping themselves isolated, and, like, they barely even go out for supplies. So Kurapika doesn't legally exist, which DOUBLY makes sense due to his job in the mafia.

Since the mafia regularly employs Meteor City residents, and I don't think it's unlikely that they'd do SOME kind of background check. If Kurapika legally existed, would they have found out about his Kurta heritage? Wouldn't that have been dangerous? But like. Since they employ Meteor City residents, it's likely that nothing came up about Kurapika (except maybe him being a Hunter?) and they would be used to finding nothing, and assumed that he was just a Meteor City resident, or someone in a similar situation. And they're right! But the assumption that Kurapika is a member of a city that he hates, that branded their slogan on the dead bodies of his family, that's a cruelty that Kurapika probably has to live with!! And of course he's okay with it, just look at who he's working for and the depths of cruelty he's willing to put up with for his overall goal, but... augh...

And then for the other 3 of the main 4, obviously we can only assume Leorio legally exists since we know so little about his backstory, but it doesn't make sense for him to NOT legally exist, so. Leorio exists it is.

Killua is a little more complicated because of his assassin family, but I'd argue that he DOES legally exist. Since the Zoldycks are a tourist attraction and don't really hide their lifestyle, I think it's likely that they declare their children if only so that they can, you know. Use the banks. So that they can wire money to them (we see them do this with Milluki, iirc?) though I guess you could argue that they could have alternative methods and Shady Money Methods Just For Assassins. So really there's no way to know, but I think it's funny that they don't hide themselves, so. They're not hiding their kids either.

GON though. That's even more of a question for me. For the first 2 years of his life he was on the road with Ging, and... assuming his mother (if she exists) didn't legally declare him when he was born, I don't know if Ging, who took the time to erase his tape so that ZERO info about him could be gathered, would be the kind to leave legal ties (even if it's so that his son exists in a practical way)

My new headcanon about this though is that Gon became Legally Existing when he was given to Mito! Whether he legally existed before or not, Ging would've handed over whatever's necessary for Gon's life, and obviously he can do insane legal stuff given how he changed Wdwune's name, so! Gon becomes legally declared, and in custody of Mito at the same time!! All is well!!

#if any of this doesn't make sense just look away okay i'm not a lawyer i don't know laws #also it's fiction but yknow lol #hunter x hunter

[offantasiesandreams]

Hello dear, may I request taking care of Batter who pushes himself far beyond his limits. He's doing his mission without sleeping eating resting or anything. I want reader who will say him to rest and he tries to decline the offer but then accepts it. You can use this idea and add and remove any part I don't mind. As always no pressure write it whenever and however you want or don't write it at all. Have a great day!

This is actually the third time I've written about something like this! But I don't mind, it's a really cute idea! If I could, I would straight up put him inside a blanket burrito and place him on a bed so he would sleep comfortably, but alas! Anyway, here you go!

Overworked Batter

If there was one thing he could say for certain, it was the fact that not a single blow from any spectre or royal guardian had hurt that bad. The scratches and the wounds were nothing that wouldn’t heal immediately with a Fortune Ticket or him using one of his skills. Only the failure of executing his holy mission could lead to something more severe, but such was unlikely to the point where the probability might as well have been zero. A rest was not necessary in the slightest, for as soon as he had fulfilled his destiny, he could likely rest forever.

A swing here and there, aided by his trusty Add-Ons and you, truly, there was not a single obstacle impassable in his eyes. For as long as he kept moving without break, the task was going to be accomplished, no matter the sacrifices made. You noticed his rather resolute commitment. Although admirable, you had to admit it had taken to the extreme. Food was necessary, but you hadn’t seen him eat any in a while. Neither could you remember a recent time when he simply sat down and took a breather.

“Don’t you wanna sit down for a while? You know, to replenish your strength and all.” The question was genuine, who knew what was going to happen if he didn’t. Even so, all you were met with was an empty stare. His eyes were simply looking through you as the awaited response took longer than usual to be said out loud.

“No. I am alright. Let us move forward.” Humble and determined as usual, it seemed. He may have been strong, but surely, not even Batter could keep doing this forever, right? While good at keeping his composure, it was evident he was less than okay at that point, slightly wobbling around as the two of you paced towards your next destination.

As awe striking as the amusement park may have been with its attractions, or lack thereof, your attention was on your companion more so than anything else. When standing around idly for a few moments, his gaze wouldn’t wander to scan the area for anything of interest, focusing on the sign right in front of him instead. Whether or not he was trying to read and make sense of its contents was a different question, however.

With a sigh you got his attention: “I think it’s time for you to take a break, you’re sleeping while standing.” Your voice made him ultimately snap out of his trance. Contemplating your words, he treated them as an offer more than anything else.

“We must purify these lands first.”

“No, we do not. Sit down!” You had never been this stern with him before, but it seemed to have been the only language he understood in that moment. It was for his well-being, he better did as you told him to.

Much to your surprise, he actually did sit down, leaning against the wall. Naturally, you took a seat next to him, searching your inventory for a few pieces of meat and handing them to him. Almost grateful, he took them from you, biting into one. The way he chewed it as though it was his first meal in a week was very telling of his situation. “Batter, you can’t keep going like this. It’s not going to get you the desired result. Please, take a rest every once in a while, or at least when I’m telling you to.”

Given how he scarfed the food, it was astonishing you could make out his words at all. “I am aware of this. But the mission needs to be accomplished.”

You heaved another sigh. At that point he was genuinely just trying to get himself killed. Watching him wolf down the final piece, you decided to try and reason with him. If nothing else, you could at least stall for time and have him sit still for another moment. “I know, and it will be, trust me. We’ll work on it together. Well, we already are, considering we’re here, aren’t we? So, surely, there has to be something of use here, we just have to look for it. But, uh, please take it-”

Interrupted by a weight falling on your figure, you stopped your little soliloquy. Batter had fallen asleep, it seemed, as he wasn’t responding to you, nor moving, only his chest rising and falling with every breath of his. Slowly, you wrapped an arm around him, holding him closer to make sure he was at least a bit more comfortable. This may not have been what you had planned, but you weren’t complaining. If anything, he was going to get some rest now.

#off (game) #batter x player #batter x reader #can people tell by now that zone 2 is my favourite? #either way i need to work on getting my writing shorter again orz #i wanted this to be around 300-400 words long #it's twice as long and i am so incredibly sorry about that! #also sorry about taking so long with it

[autisticandroids]

1 and 20 for fanfic ask :)

1. what’s the fic youre most proud of?

so the easy answer here is i fold in half so easily. i actually like... i didn't start writing that one as like a Big Project? i started writing it to procrastinate my other projects. I didn't notice it turning into this massive like, carefully thought out monstrosity basically until i posted it. and then it just kind of... after the fact, it kind of became all i thought about. like i started kind of self-referentially paying attention most to the interpretations i presented in that fic. which sounds pretty narcissistic, and yeah it is i'm a writer. i like my own work. sue me. like a lot of the things i said in the months afterward kinda came from the i fold in half so easily extended universe, you know? and it's so funny because it was intended as like, a little side project that i wasn't meant to care about much. half of it was literally just me trying my hand at something. like, did you know i fold in half so easily was inspired by beat sheet? like, part of the purpose of that fic was me being like "i wonder if i can do the thing saltyfeathers did so well where they had a main character with ZERO thoughts about salient topics." genuinely i fold in half so easily was partly just me experimenting with that. but then it became this big Thing. and then i wrote that big director's commentary for it and was like "wait hey i actually put a lot of thought into this!!! hey!!" and also other people were obsessed with it which was very exciting. and like looking back there's parts of it i am a little embarrassed by? at the time i was NOT happy with the "i can be your guy" scene and i really still am not, but it does convey something important that i wasn't sure how to get across in a less heavyhanded manner. but i've kind of made my peace with it. but nowadays i'm kind of unhappy with the ending. it's too melodramatic. if i were to write it again now cas' breakdown would be much quieter and maybe a bit more private, because i don't think him yelling at sam and then physically running out of the room is realistic, y'know? i mean the yelling at sam is probably necessary to get my point across but then he should have walked away instead of run. but overall i am quite happy with it. so probably i fold in half so easily.

i have to say though that the fic i am most proud of lately is so much smoke in a hall of mirrors. like i sat on that for a long time, i mean, i started it in december of 2020 and it just percolated. but i spend a lot of time just trying to figure out how to integrate season six destiel stuff with season six angel civil war stuff in a way that felt like each were given an appropriate weight. like the thing is i frequently find that destiel fic does not acknowledge the importance of like. non-dean factors in cas' angel revolution. at the same time, you can't make sense of season six without destiel. and not just dean as a distraction from the war, but dean and cas' desire for him as a massive complicating and motivating factor. like, maybe the most crucial thing for cas in season six is that he feels completely isolated and like no one would ever understand him and everyone would turn on him if they knew what he was doing (and he was kind of right but it's also a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of). and this is partly about crowley but it's also absolutely about dean. cas knows that his obsession with dean is both strange and would be strange to other angels, and also on some level impure. like he may or may not actually know that it's about sex, but he is absolutely aware that there's something selfish and uncomfortable about it. so having this desire he can't explain to himself or anyone else or even let anyone else (except maybe crowley, whom he hates) even KNOW about is this intensely isolating experience, which works in perfect harmony with having to lie to all his troops about tactical moves and shit and get them killed for no reason (because cas is working with crowley, which they can't know about, and he is gonna become god and win the whole war at once, eventually, so they just have to keep going til then). like basically cas has every reason to feel just totally alone and set upon from every angle. and his desire for dean is a piece of that but also not all of it. so i'm very proud of i guess successfully threading that needle. i still don't know if i was totally successful, i'm not sure if elements of it really came across? i'm not sure cas' feeling of pointlessness due to his godstiel plan actually makes sense to anyone but me. plus there's bits i'm not happy with (really mainly the ending sex scene which just is not sexy). but i am proud of it. and it's funny because no one read it, which i was kind of shocked by, because it's one of my most palatable-to-the-average-heller fics, i think. but at the same time it's nice to know i can be really proud of something without necessarily getting a bunch of attention and praise from it from people who aren't my closest friends.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

um... if we were being tongue in cheek i would say like, attention? but honestly not that. like i could get so much more attention by just posting, if i wanted. what i get out of writing is like... it makes me feel competent and like i can accomplish tasks that i set myself to and boosts my confidence.

and then the other thing is that in the supernatural fandom specifically, it makes me feel like i'm earning my place at the table. like, i just kind of accidentally became a well known supernatural guy by posting a lot, and don't get me wrong, it was nice, but i also was like... i'm just a guy who posts!! i don't really contribute anything!! why are you guys admiring me, a guy who just posts my unedited thoughts for the world to look at, when you could be admiring people who write fucking novels on the archive of our own. so it was really nice once i was able to start putting out a decent amount of fanfiction i was happy with, to feel like i was able to really bring something to the table. my amvs helped too, obviously, but just in terms of personal tast i tend to prefer reading fanfiction to watching amvs, so while i respect the technical craft involved in making amvs a lot, fanfiction feels more like a contribution to people's enjoyment.

#spn #asks #outdean

[throwawaytumble]

Hey, glad you're getting the validation you deserve! You're absolutely not in the wrong here at all.

To preface this, I want to stress that I am just an outsider with zero context outside of what you've told us and also that I think your way of interacting with children is the right way, but I wanted to shed some potential (futher) insight on why your brother might be reacting so negatively:

From everything you've explained, from your relationship with your parents to your brother's demands that you always go through him first, it seems to me as though he has maintained some sort of authoritarian view of parenthood. It's clear to me that your parents had a very top-down hierarchical parenting philosophy, and since your brother stayed with them and the farm, he probably developed similar views.

This form of parenting hinges on the parent as an authoritative figure which cannot be undermined.

In his mind, he lost his adult children because he lost that authority to his ex-wife, whom he believed used that to turn them against him. This means that if he loses custody of his kids again, his authority will again be undermined and the same thing will happen.

In his mind, by discussing the matter with his kids before speaking to him, you undermined his authority as a parent. He needs to maintain the illusion of an infallible authority (or fallible in certain small, acceptable ways) in order to maintain his parenting style. By telling his children that he either lied or was mistaken about something so big for so long, and in doing so undermining your authority as a babysitter as well as your credibility... That's a big blow. Of course he's terrified. He feels that he needs that authority in order to keep his children in his life.

Psychologically, it makes sense. Some of his extremely impactful life experiences had to do with family being cut off: you got cut off from your parents because they couldn't maintain their authority over you, and he got cut off from his kids because he couldn't maintain his authority over them. It sounds like you accidentally hit on some sensitive, unresolved trauma, and that's what caused his overreaction. To him, loss of authority directly connects with loss of family. I wouldn't be surprised if his ex-wives' cheating further compounded this complex.

So, in his eyes, he moved house specifically to be closer to you to try to reconcile with you (formerly lost family), he made some assumptions about your character and personal history that ended up wrong, and in response you did something that makes him risk losing more family (undermining his authority). As in, the family he took great pains to reconnect with suddenly turned around to jeopardize the rest of the only family he was left. He does, however, desperately want you in his life still, so after a little bit for the initial panic to wear off, he forgives you and just wants to make sure it won't happen again.

...Again, this is a huge set of assumptions I'm making, and I think it's an incredibly unhealthy mindset and type of relationship with parenthood to have, but this is what I got out of it. You both definitely have drastically incompatible mindsets on some things, and that can be hard to bridge even without the painful history you two share (and were unable to share).

But I hope my analysis is accurate enough that it might help you in figuring out your next step with the situation.

I am also under this impression and yes, both my brother and our parents took an authoritative stance on parenting. My question - and it seems that the majority of people have answered - was whether I was the asshole for undermining a parent's authority while not a parent myself, especially regarding our history.

Something I am compelled to explain here is that both as a Professor and doctor, my initial response is to immediately take control. In a medical setting, delegating tasks quickly and taking control of a situation asap is absolutely necessary, and as a Professor maintaining control of a classroom of hungover college students is also essential. I've spent a majority of my life around children, and I have worried (on my own, not based on anything anyone has said to me regarding his children) that I may overstep. I spoke to another professor about the situation and he took my brother's side, saying that before correcting him I ought to have called him first to ask how I should best approach it, and told me that unless I had children I wouldn't understand. My boyfriend disagreed and even convinced me to send the ask in the first place.

#answered asks #aita #am i the asshole #transfaabulous #for clarification

[apprenticestanheight]

apprenticestanheights writing guidelines

Okay! I'm doing an account make over and I realized I missed several crucial steps when this account was focused heavily on arcane, so this post is something that's been a long time coming.

My humor and the way I talk is kind of dry at times so if any of this confuses you feel free to just reach out (be it through a message in my inbox or shooting something into my dms) and I'll answer any questions you've got

I did this in a cute little q&a format because that allows semifrequent updating and tweaking as necessary, and the guidelines themselves are under the cut because this post is long enough as is and I don't want to clog up anyones dash lol

I'm generally a very chilled out and very lenient person so I'm usually willing to write almost anything.

Anything does have it's limits, of course, and the reason that this exists is to ensure that those limits are communicated clearly and established before I become super active on this account.

-Am I willing to write smut?

I am MORE THAN WILLING--smut is genuinely enjoyable to write for me HOWEVER, what I'm not willing to write is as follows: rape, dd/lg, ANYTHING involving bodily functions (no watersports or things of the like) or the sexualization of death in any capacity.

-how long will requests take?

There is literally zero method to my madness--I write as the motivation to do so comes and goes so there will be times where I have your request done, edited, and ready for publishing all in the same day and there will be times where it will take me a bit. Requests will probably be coming out a lot quicker in the summer (I have no job currently and writing is my biggest priority whenever summer hits anyway) and around certain holidays fewer requests will be accepted because I am piss poor with time management and might have things planned around those holidays.

-What is a no-go for you, in the general sense?

My boundaries are pretty clearly stated here, and if there's anything you're generally not sure about, please feel free to reach out! I'm writing this and pretty much just writing what my thoughts are so my having missed things is more plausible than one might think, so if there's anything about which you're confused PLEASE don't hesitate.

-how will I know when requests are closed?

Request closure and opening dates can be found in my bio! I also give a lot of forewarning when writing requests near the day that I plan to close them, so fics will probably have that in the notes like "requests are open until x day this month" and if you send in something like, a day or two after they've closed, there is a very good chance I'll still write it out!

-what if I send in a request while your requests are closed without realizing they were?

If you do this, that's fine! If you send something in the first day or two after they've closed I'll still take the request, it just might take some time to come out because I'll be focusing on getting other requests done. If you send something in during the last few days before they're open again the same applies--I am very lenient on that kind of thing lol.

however, if you see that my requests are closed and decide to send in yours anyway, I probably won't write it! I close requests whenever there's a backlog so that I can focus on getting them all out before I plan to open them again, and getting a request when I have a pile of more than ten that need to be done is very stressful for me so I don't end up writing them because I can't focus on stressing about stuff when I'm already trying to make sure I have all of my requests done before I start accepting them again.

#cal talks #apprenticestanheights info tag

[phantom-bleu]

I think people can be a little too harsh on the tlers its smth ive thought abt for a while. Like ppl criticised wizard cookie for being much “meaner” in the revised english translation but actually he was always a pretty snarky kid even back in ovenbreak, they just dialled it up and also gave him jabs in his dialogue that made more sense in english. And espressos supposed diff personality in eng to kr bc thanks to koreans grammar systems he slips from polite/formal into informal on occasion to make a point abt his upbringing. You obviously cant do that in english so expecting translators to just magically come up w a faithful tl for that isnt fair. Except english does have a form of the same thing which they did use, espresso talks in such contrived formal sentences w zero contractions or any figures of speech to the complexity that ive seen a couple of instances where ppl didnt even understand what his dialogue meant. And we can ask ourselves why that was their chosen method. While i cant read korean we can only assume espressos formal speech is to adapt to high republic society which hes not born into and treats him worse for it, and hes on the defence to prove his place there. And we can also only assume his informal tense is more true 2 his natural way of talking. In english espressos so well-spoken its jarring compared with other charas, esp latte who is a similar position to him but so much more relaxed, and he comes across as stuck-up and rude for it. But doesnt that also serve the same purpose as being a voice he puts on to prove he belongs in academia/high society/etc bc if you really thought abt it his manner of speaking just wouldnt naturally happen. Does this kind of alter his personality? Yeah but in the case where they struggled to tl a largely grammar-based point of characterisation into a language where u just cant do the same thing he would probably come across as so much drier. A localisation being different to the original text isnt a bad thing, its often necessary to rephrase things or make changes to a character so that these small things abt charas r communicated more intuitively without you having to think abt them or keeping in mind that the game isnt originally english. Like they arent trying to sabotage a characters personality most of the time they have to make minor sacrifices so that you arent completely lost trying to pick up on all the subtext and cues from a culture u arent from. This is the point where id also defend the 1 dchoco line in the dark cacao kingdom storyline everyone and their mother had a problem with but i dont remember it so im not gonna

#espresso takes up 60% of the post cus he owns propery in my brain its not just abt him #also i can just say my points abt tling better if i use him as an example #Im only an english speaker though so i dont understand the translation process at all #im just obsessed with linguistics of english and most changes for the crk tl ive understood wat they changed and why

[anointedflame]

My thoughts on a Netflix show…

…are lukewarm to cold lol.

Horizon has an incredible story and world and characters that I think could translate well to television. But at the same time, the games are still ongoing and they’re already so richly designed and cinematic that I don’t think adapting that to tv is necessary. If anything, it will just fall short of the games. I just can’t picture anyone else playing the characters in the games than their original voice actors/face models. They’re already so real and well done that it just doesn’t feel… necessary? It seems redundant and a tv show would be set up to fail in regards to casting.

My fears with Netflix doing it are compounded by what’s happened to The Witcher, which I was incredibly excited about back when it was announced. Henry Cavill aside, the casting was weird/off, the CGI was pretty shit, and the writing in the second season also turned to shit (and I haven’t even read the books so my complaint isn’t about faithfulness to those, it just makes no sense. But I digress). Netflix has ruined their reputation by producing a ton of crappy content, canceling good shows right and left, not budgeting in the right places, taking years between seasons, and hiring writers who don’t respect the source material and want to “put their own twist on it.” Which no one ever really wants from an adaptation of a beloved book/game!

Anyways, some positivity. I love Horizon and am excited by the prospect of more content. I think this could be cool or positive if:

They go the spin-off/prequel route. Exploring Rost’s backstory, the Derangement and the Red Raids, or Enduring Victory and creating Zero Dawn. It would be adjacent to the games and show some very interesting themes and plots that the games haven’t shown.

They create a totally separate storyline. The world of Horizon is beautiful and fascinating and all the different cultures and tribes are one of the best things about it. There are endless stories that could be told apart from Aloy’s and they could be original with it and further flesh out the world without stepping on toes of the fans of the games. I’m thinking like Rogue One or the Mandolorian for Star Wars.

They go the animated route. I didn’t finish Arcane, but it felt refreshing to watch a beautiful, uniquely styled animated show that isn’t for children and that isn’t anime. I feel like this may be the best bet for quality with a direct adaptation for Horizon. And maybe the original voice actors can come back! Only thing is that there still isn’t much love for animation like this and it may be too similar to the game- just rehashing things in a slightly different, less interactive format.

They go the live action route BUT keep the game creators/writers heavily involved, defer to the source material, respect what the fans love about the games, keep as much original cast as possible and be as faithful as possible in casting new people, don’t fill it with a bunch of big name actors just cuz, give it a proper budget big enough to accommodate GOOD CGI for all the different machines, and green light it for a minimum of 3 seasons off the bat to give it a complete arc.

So, this was quite long-winded and rambling, but I had and will probably continue to have lots of thoughts about this and I wanted to get them all out and discuss. So, let me know what y’all think about it too!

#horizon #horizon Netflix #horizon tv show #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #netflix

[ironwoodatl01]

How does it feel knowing one day; you're going to be responsible for all the people considered "Undesirable degenerates." to get marched off to a camp? You would throw a party for yourself and flip through your book most likely. Only stirred when the sound of boots are at your doorstep. Rwde does not fucking like you man. That's where all the toxic sjw go, and they don't even enjoy your presence no matter how hard you try. You don't like gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals and queers in general. You prolly think your some holy saviour or a person whos gonna show the light of jesus to others; when you just give motive to disembowel a bible and burn it... ( No respect for religious trauma in a world where religion places someone in permanent service based on sex) Do you actually think, the trans people you reblog character posts from genuinely wish to interact with you? How about you actually live as Jesus did so that you may find humility and true understanding on the world we are currently walking on now. You waste your life on hatred and the fact that you use the bible as an excuse is demonic on your own part. Honestly what a waste. Idk who beat you as child or deprived you of love to the point that you can only find it in an ancient book; but someone dropped the ball massively and that ball was you man. I Hope you can genuinely find peace in yourself. In hindsight; you will probably ignore/delete this post for your own relief, maybe reply to it and use bible verses to counter it without actually addressing the core criticism. Brushing it off as hysteria from a mentally ill person; which is ableist but I wouldn't be surprised if part of you hated yourself for being different growing up. Hence why wearing cartoons on your sleeves just like the queers you hate and want to see gunned downed or cured. Clarification: Clearly you hate yourself and view this as a peacetime where you can feel heard and help people. Analysis: Perhaps an early divorce occurred in your childhood or marterial problems while your feelings had no place; hardening and being leaned on was not a choice. Conclusion: You genuinely think your hardness and zero sense of acceptance will help save Queer people while head-butting your way into those same spaces seeking comradery. I feel pity for you. I feel as if you see a father in James that you never actually had growing up; or that he reminds you of him despite a possible strained relationship.

Your pity is not necessary, but appreciated. You put in the effort, and that is to be recognized.

I never knew you had mental issues, nor have I ever cared. The fact that you think it mattered speaks more about you than it does me.

As for the trans people and rwde? It also doesn't really matter to me whether they like me, and if it did matter to them they can block me anytime. I like the posts, so I repost. I have a point to make, so I make it. I post for the post's sake. Although I do have to break up my blogs a little to declutter, so thanks for reminding me indirectly.

The salvation of the LGBTQ people is not something I can do anything about, nor is it something I really want to do anything about. God gave his Son to die on the cross and its up to them to accept that gift. All I'm doing is correcting their's and other people's assertions of biblical truth by presenting the bible verses in context. The truth, the correct answer, will always piss people off, but that is the nature of Facts.

There is always black and white because the darkness seeks to destroy the light on its on accord. There will always be enmity not because of my aggression, but because of the other side's hardheadedness.

Harry Potter and Voldemort must kill each other not because Harry seeks the fight, but Voldemort won't quit until Harry is dead by his hand.

Ultimately, you seek common ground on terms I cannot, in good conscience, accept. We are opponents because the lie can't accommodate the truth.

In any case, I'm sure there will be a confrontation between me and the LGBTQs sooner or later. So be it. But I respect them enough to attribute them the maturity to decide when the confrontation occurs. They are old enough they/thems to block me and I don't think they need you to speak for them.

Don't be ableist