i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.
well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together.
And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)?
So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.
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25. fireplace
“Now why would I do that?”
Elain looks over from her Herbology textbook at Azriel, hunched over the long table reading yesterday’s print of The Daily Prophet. Next to them, Rhysand and Cassian have settled into a game of chess a few minutes ago.
“Come on, mate,” Rhys persuades him, from where he’s sitting next to Elain. “Mum would love to have you there. We’d have proper fun. Cassian’s coming.”
Cassian snaps his head up from the chess board and pointedly glares at Rhys. “I said I’m going if Az is.”
“Shut up,” Rhys waves him quiet. “Mor will be there.”
“She’s your cousin, of course she is,” Azriel replies, uninterested, as he turns a page. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Now you aren’t,” Rhys argues. “But it’s not for another two weeks. Eh? I could lend you guys some of my clothes, you wouldn’t have to worry about getting fitted or anything. Better yet, Mum would make you robes on the spot if I tell her you’re coming.”
“Rhys, man,” Azriel sighs, and lays a scarred hand flat on top of the newspaper. “I’m really honored you want me there, but it’s not my crowd.”
“It’s a New-Years ball, at my parents’,” Rhys reiterates. “We’ll fuck around with the guests for a bit, steal a couple of drinks, break into Dad’s office, and have fun at my place. What about that isn’t your crowd?”
Azriel blinks down at the paper, quiet, as a muscle in his jaw flickers. Cassian glances at him, before turning back to Rhys.
“Maybe drop it?” Cassian suggests quietly. “Don’t pressure him.”
“You’re gonna make a move or not?!” demands a chess piece, that Rhys promptly moves before looking back at Azriel.
“What are you even going to do over the holidays?” Rhys asks. “Stay here alone all break?”
“I’ve got work to catch on,” Azriel replies quietly. “I’m way back.”
“Hey, I’ve got you covered on that,” Rhys presses. “And the professors understand. Come to the ball, change of air. What do you say?”
Elain leans against the table edge, watching Azriel purse his lips tightly.
“Sleep on it,” she suggests softly, as three pairs of eyes swivel to her. “Could be nice. Does he have to answer now?” she asks Rhys.
“No,” he quickly answers. “No, of course. She’s right. Think it over, yeah? You can’t let Cass go alone.”
Azriel nods once. “I’ll think about it.”
Rhys nods and returns to his and Cassian’s chess game. Elain meets Azriel’s eyes and offers an encouraging smile.
“Oh, and Elain, you’re welcome too, obviously,” Rhys remembers, a few minutes later. “Sorry, it slipped my mind.”
“Thank you,” she smiles politely. “It’d be a pleasure, but I’ve got plans with my family for the holiday.”
“Ah,” Rhys blinks. “That’s a shame. But have fun, yeah.”
She smiles again, and returns to her Herbology and swirling thoughts. She, too, like Azriel is very much behind on their work. Only Azriel has a plausible and legitimate reason but Elain’s is her lost grasp on reality. The stress makes it worse, as she’s realized, and this state of hers only generates more for her to worry over and on goes the vicious cycle.
She does think a change of scenery would be good for him; this year has been rough on all of them, but for Azriel it’s been one punch after the other. From being interrogated almost monthly by the Ministry aurors for potential relations to Hybern’s supporters (an unfortunate consequence of being the Shadowsinger family’s heir, the first actual shadowsinger in several generations) and most recently his mother’s passing away. Elain feels as if it has upended his life in a way, as whatever boy he was before this was no longer found in the aftermath. Azriel had left the school to bury her, and what came back was a solemn and reserved young man—granted he has always kept to himself, to a certain degree, but it was attributable to his shy nature and unique personality. But something was different, now, and Elain hopes it is only the grief.
When most of the students in the Great Hall have retired to their dormitories, and Elain’s too drowsy to make sense of the blurring words on the pages, Azriel takes a look at her and folds up the newspaper neatly.
“Come on,” he climbs over the table and shuts her textbook. “Bed.”
She yawns. “But ‘m not tired.”
“Elain, do you really want to risk actual sleep for half-assed no-yield studying?” Azriel packs her things up into her bag and slings it over his shoulder. “Could you guarantee another chance to sleep?”
She stands up, and follows him to the doors. “You’re right,” she mumbles. “But I want to stay up with you. I know you’re not getting any sleep.”
“I’m fine,” he replies. “It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Don’t have to,” she insists. “I’m right as rain.”
Azriel sighs. “Yeah. Plans with your family over the holidays? Since when?”
“Well, I am going to see Nesta, and spend time with Father,” Elain frowns. “What’s so unbelievable about that?”
Azriel raises a brow at her. “Didn’t you say your Father’s in Brazil?”
Elain blinks. “I actually forgot about that. But I’m going home, nonetheless. And you should stay with the Blackwoods. I hate to think of you here alone.”
“Look, let’s agree to suspend our mutual worry for each other and just focus on our own selves, how about that?”
Elain snorts. That meant she was winning. They reach the Hufflepuff corridor, and Elain turns to Azriel. “Hey,” she reaches out and squeezes his hand. “Think it over, really, okay?”
His eyes flicker over her face, his own unreadable and encrypted with his narrowed brows and clenched jaw. “I will,” he replies softly.
“Liar,” she breathes out.
He pauses.
“What are you hiding?” it is a rhetoric question, of course. If she thought whatever he had going on was something he could actually talk about, she’d have long ago pressed him for answers. But Elain kept his mother’s passing in mind, the bare minimum of excuses, while keeping a close eye on him. But she supposes what she wants to say is something like; I see you and I don’t understand, but I see something is the matter.
Azriel shakes his head a beat late. “Nothing,” he softly lies, and she supposes he knows already by now she can hear the lies just as well as the truth. “Good night, Elain.”
She watches him go. “Night, Az.”
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WIP Wednesday
@justthislazy convinced me to join in @kedreeva 's game this week! Let's see how this goes.
It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.
Here’s how it works:
In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.
Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!
After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.
That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!
If you’re reading this, you’re invited!
If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.
Here is what I have to offer:
1. Silly Little Jean Moreau Fic
2. Etienne
3. Baby Jean
4. Needle AU
Snippet from Etienne (hopefully) below the cut:
Jean Moreau truly had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. This had been Jeremy’s idea after all, and it made sense on paper. However, knowing that he would benefit from owning a dog was very different from actually getting one. Besides, he’d never even had a pet before. From what the internet told him, it seemed like a mostly pleasant experience. He’d even gotten permission from Coach Rheman to bring a dog along to the stadium, and they were fully prepared to create spaces where an ESA could get away from the noise of the crowd. All he needed now was the actual ESA.
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