#this wasn't meant to be this long i wanted to write 2-3 paragraphs not a whole ass fic 💀💀💀

[travishackettboygirlfriend]

I feel like at the start, when Travis and Can were first starting considering being a thing for real, he would try to sabotage the relationship by himself and push Can away. Partly out of fear of them just going away at their own accord, either because she got tired of him or couldn't handle the whole situation, and partly because he didn't think he was deserving of the happiness being with Can brought him.

He would act cold and distant, something Can would try to remain aloof to, despite being well aware of the sudden change until, until after a while the situation came to a blow and she questioned him about it. At first wondering if this was something personal Travis was going through, offering to help or support him; but then asking if this was because something they had done wrong, saying to tell her so she could change it.

Travis denied the second claim, feeling guilty for having made them feel this way, especially when he truly had done nothing wrong. Instead, he opted for telling her the typical "this isn't going to work out".

Can chuckled at first, completely shocked, not wanting to believe he was serious. They tried to question him, saying that that made no sense, going back again at asking if she had done something wrong because they really couldn't understand what had gone wrong, since in their eyes everything was going extremely well: they both loved each other and they had fun together and they barely ran into any issues!

Travis again shut down this idea, his response being more of a bark than anything, which was responded with a now desperate one from Can, asking "so what is it?!", which forced him to confess what he truly feared, or, at least, part of it. "I don't want to lose you!"

This left Can speechless, in total, genuine, confusion, unable to even formulate a following question. Travis proceeded to explain his reasoning, saying that sooner or later they would end up leaving anyway, IF tragedy didn't strike, a possibility he wasn't willing to face. The longer they stayed together the more painful it would be later on, so this was the best they could do.

He finished off by saying that their meeting was but an unfortunate accident that never should have happened. Can simply stood up and with a voice softer then his regular energetic and high pitched tone said "I am going to pack my bags then", walking straight past Travis into the room.

He remained sitting there, feeling that anguish in his chest, trying to convince himself in his mind that this was the best for everyone, he had made it this far alone with no problem, so he would be alright.

After a few minutes, Can came out of the room carrying his bags, eyes fixated on the floor. They we're heading straight for the door and only stopped when Travis asked if she needed a ride to the Harbinger Motel. Can considered it for a moment before answering "yes, I'd appreciate that". So Travis picked up the car keys and they both headed outside.

The car ride was as uncomfortable as it could be. They both ignored each other, Travis fixated on the road and Can looking anything but him. It was the first time Travis had seen them act this cold and serious, so he couldn't help but to feel worse about it all. He did try to start a conversation, with the hopes it would make the situation lighter, asking them where they would be going from here, but Can answered dismissively, making it clear they didn't have a plan from here on and that they didn't want to talk.

Eventually, they arrived to their destination. Can picked up his bags again, as Travis sighed and concluded this was the end of the road for them. She looked at him for the first time since their conversation. They hesitantly stepped forward before Travis opened his arms, inviting them to share the goodbye hug she was wishing for.

The sheer force with which she gripped at him caught him by surprise though, but he didn't complain, simply embracing their love back with the same level of anguish which she had.

The hug lasted for a long painful while, neither of them ready to let the other go, but it was Can finally who broke it. She pulled away slightly to look at Travis in the eyes before saying "just promise you won't forget me, please", to which he answered "I couldn't even if i wanted to", giving him a small, sweet smile.

The small gesture had been enough to push Can over their limit so they quickly pushed him completely away and grabbed their bags, hurrying to the motel, trying to make sure he didn't see her crying. Travis simply stood there, watching them leave. He got inside his car but only drove away once he saw them get in.

After that, he returned once again home. The nostalgia instantly struck him, making the atmosphere oppressing. The now silent home without the redhead running around, stumbling into objects, and babbling about god-knows-what became almost deafening.

Travis went directly to his room, sat on his bed, the one he no longer had to share with anyone, and finally broke into a quiet sob.

#worms.txt #did i make myself sad writing this? YES YES I DID. #this OOOBVIOUSLY isn't where it ends for them but I'll make sure to write part 2 some other day #oc can #travis hackett #this wasn't meant to be this long i wanted to write 2-3 paragraphs not a whole ass fic 💀💀💀 #but hey i had fun i love writing angst and!!!! it was about time i actually posted one of my writings #even if its not perfect and even if i didnt even read it twice #it's literally just for me and me only and well perhaps my only two followers 💀 #anyway sadness and agony on earth WOOO-

[jccatstudios]

I have been following your soc comic adaptation and it just so good!!! I love how you draw them!

I have just one question: Why did you not include Inej's opening musings about Kaz on the first page? (Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason etc) I actually really like how there is not text on the first two pages, it's really atmospheric and moody so this really is not a criticism, I don't want to insult you. I guess I was just wondering what the thought process behind that was?

Oh, I've been wanting to talk about this for a while! Buckle up, this is gonna be one of my long comic rants. (Also, no offense taken at all! Anyone's welcome to question my artistic choices and I'm always happy to take critique, even though that isn't your intention.)

So, the thing is I actually planned on including that first paragraph into the comic! Here's when I first shared the thumbnails on here. Just for the sake of this post, I'll insert them here too.

The boxes are meant to be where excerpts of that introduction would go. When I was creating the thumbnails, I was thinking about how iconic these lines were and how well they introduce the world and characters. I even finished the pages with the intention to include those lines. This is from my original csp file.

When I lettered it all out, I felt like something wasn't right...? Hard to explain. I wanted silence for the opening and the narration took that away. I then thought about the reader who'd go into this without reading the novel first, wondering if they'd be thinking, Who's this Kaz Brekker guy? Is it this character on the page? It's clearer in the book, but I didn't think it paired well with what I drew. I didn't want any confusion. It's also Inej's chapter, and while Kaz's parts take up most of it, I still wanted it to feel like her POV and her story. We can hold off officially meeting Kaz until page four.

But the main reason I took it out comes down to my philosophy when it comes to comic adaptations. I believe that an adaptation should use the original story in the best way for the secondary medium. A comic adaptation should play to the strength of comics, not the original source material.

Time and time again, I see a lot of comic adaptations of books try to use a book's strength instead of a comic's. When that happens, you get pages upon pages of narration boxes and exposition that could've easily been told in a single panel's image. If you want to read excerpts from the original novel, go do that! They're beautiful and well-crafted and you should be reading the original anyway! If you're making a comic adaptation, make a comic, not an illustrated version of the novel (that's a whole field of its own).

This whole thing really ties well into what I'm doing for Chapter 3. Kaz is such an internal character, his chapters have a lot more exposition that isn't setting description or character actions. I've had to do a lot more of my own writing for this chapter than the last just to turn that exposition into his own voice as an internal monologue. Sometimes, it's just a change from "he" to "I," but there are other times I've had to write new dialogue and find ways to naturally flow between thoughts. If I didn't do the work to adapt the expository text and instead just put in narration boxes of text from the book, there would be a greater disconnect between the reader and Kaz. Third-person limited works great in books and doesn't separate the readers from the story, but in comics, first-person internal dialogue keeps the readers inside the scene better.

If I were to redo Chapter 2, I think I would try to find a way to incorporate the information from the chapter intro better. I think by losing the intro I initially planned to include, I didn't establish certain ideas very well. Ketterdam and Kerch are established later on pages 4 and 5, but I don't think I ever go back and mention The Barrel. Also, the idea that Kaz is deliberate, even if his reputation says otherwise, is important too. I've made sure to fix this kind of issue in Chapter 3 and keep record of what kind of information I'm losing as I adapt it.

#comic rant over! #thanks for the ask I really love talking about this stuff #soc comic adaptation #asks #comics talk

[hirsheyskisses]

Random Drabble Of Luca!

Attention.

Disclaimer: i write for the personalities & characters portrayed, not the people behind the screen.

A/N: pulled this entire thing out my ass to get something posted :3 | I've been on partial hiatus again bc school related shit-

"...Are you done yettt?"

"Just about. Why?"

You stared over at your boyfriend, who was staring back at you with those gosh damn puppy eyes again. For someone meant to be big and scary, you enjoyed his energy: the sun to the room.

"I'm bored!" Luca replied smoothly, and you rolled your eyes. "Give me a few." "You said that last time-" "I mean it. Just another paragraph."

Luca grumbled softly, giving in. Or, that's what you thought. Being so deep into work, even you knew it'd be a lot longer than just a few minutes, maybe an hour at least. Typing away at your keyboard for the book draft you'd been working on, which had been brought on by Ike and you talking of a world the two of you could write together. This draft was filled with ideas you had to send over to the novelist.

15 minutes later, you felt arms sneak around your shoulders.

"Lucaaa.. i'm working-" "I know! But you neeeeed-" Luca let his words cut off for a moment, pulling your chair out and lifting you up with relative ease- "-a BREAK!"

"ACK- LUCA!" You laughed, playfully shoving at his chest. But the blonde would have none of it: adjusting you in his muscled arms so he held you bridal style, and began to leave your office room, mindful not to let you bump against anything.

"I was about to take a break yknow!"

"I know, but this is so much better. It's a poggier way of taking a break!"

He had carried you to your shared bedroom. "Poggier isn't a word, Luca-" "Ehh- it is now!"

He gently placed you down on the bed, and laid down beside you. Cuddling up close. "See? Pog!"

"...Oh, alright. It is very pog." You had long given up in your struggles: accepting your fate of being wrapped up tight in his arms. It wasn't a bad fate, either: he was warm, lovable, and also your boyfriend.

And you really did need that break.

A/N #2: [this note directed at another writer if they ever see it :) ]

Don't feel like being fancy today SO! but also! Upon reading through the latest luxiem tag.. i saw them. Neptune (I believe is their name?? i may have read the pinned msg wrong, they're also known as shu's armpit) wants to see more work! SO.. I figured I'd push out a short work since I'm down n ready. If you see this, HEYYY!

i also admire your like, skills of writing/hcing w the boys. I legit could never bc i get embarrassed as it is writing "fluffy" nsfw (as most can tell at quick glance, my page is mostly fluff)

#luxiem x reader #luca kaneshiro #luca kaneshiro x reader #vtuber #luxiem #ike eveland #shu yamino #ike eveland x reader #mysta rias #mysta rias x reader #niji en #shu yamino x reader #vox akuma #luxiem fluff #luxiem imagines #nijisanji en x reader #nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijisanji iluna #nijisanji x reader #vtuber x reader #vox akuma x reader

[rollingsins]

Hi sweetheart! I saw other anonymous being rude about your writing tempo. Honestly fuck them. It doesn't matter how long you take for a chapter because in the end it will be perfect. The wait just builds anticipation and it's so worth it.

Lol Tara wakes up and thinks she'll get pancakes only for Sam to have cooked them. What a terrible start in the day.

Sam, I love you. I really do. But come on. Tara got her guts rearranged and not in a good way so please let that girl have some normal pancakes for once. Here I will even give Tara a pass for being grumpy with Sam. Healthy pancakes isn't okay, that's a crime against humanity.

Aw man Sam. Is so adorable. She cares so much and just wants the best for Tara. Girls, eat your carrots and cucumber to make Sam happy!

"We need bodies to catch Ghostface" I sure hope you don't meant it literally...Tara, don't use your friends as bait, please.

Well Sam. That wasn't a great performance here... Shouldn't you pay attention to the door and any noises? Girlie please.

NO FUCKING WAY MINDY MADD A POWERPOINT! 1. That's big girlboss energy. 2. No joke, I was so bored at work that I also messed around with it... I only had like 3 slides but... Mindy I love you.

Lol Liv is trying her best. Let that girl have her moment.

Ha, sassy Tara really is my favorite. Her quips are so hilarious 😂

The principals detention. Not bad. Of course Tara has experience with that. Girlie is a menace.

Okay go off Tara. Ya know girl, accidents happen at football. No need to baby slam that poor girl. But it's Tara, I'm surprised she didn't break her leg or something... and what does it say about me that I find Tara's action kinda hot...

😂 damn Tara really is like am angry chihuahua. Barking and going off on anyone that dares to be negative to R. We love to see it!

Okay, Liv. I'm sure that ar some point in your life you've had a good idea but telling Tara and R to FUCK IN SCHOOL is absolutely NOT a good idea. Let them have some self respect please. I'm sure that would give them more than detention. Liv, try again. Just let Tara go off on someone again. It's her favorite past time activity after fucking R and killing people.

Hell yes Chad! That's what I'm talking about. You get a cookie for that idea 🍪

"Liv folds like a lawn chair" OMG The mental image 😂 It cracked me up. Anything related to Liv always makes me laugh. Poor girl.

Ah Sam. I love how protective you are. And you're right. These idiots are incredible to be around, hilarious friends but no. They can't protect anyone, they're way too goofy for that. Yes Sam! Join them and become the only competent leader of the scooby gang!

Lol Tara shut up. Stop being grumpy about being denied having sex at school! That girl is addicted to sex, I swear.

Oh please don't tell me they got the reputation cause they ACTUALLY fucked at school a couple of times... They really got some nerves.

OH HELL YES LETS ANTAGONZIE THE BORING HISTORY TEACHER! Doing that was my dream in school. I'm living out my teenage dream through Tara and R right now.

TARA!! "He's balding" I gasped out loud. That was absolutely savage. I love it!

OMG TARA LITERALLY CAME FOR HIS WIG!! WIG SNATCHED! I REPEAT, WIG SNATCHED! Okay, this part was absolutely fantastic. It's my favorite paragraph you've ever written. I was brimming with excitement, I love evil little bitches going off on boring teachers. My teenage self is happy now. Take that, Mr. Christ! (He was balding too so very fitting)

You sure letting Chad and Liv sneak away together is a good idea... they're nearly as horny as Tara...

Oh I doubt the Sjeriff would be knocking on their door because SHE IS GHOSTFACE! Yes, I'm still convinced it's her. Come on people, wake up!

(I'm sure this is a lot of fun for you. Either you're like damn, that bitch got it right or you're like ha, she's so wrong about it)

Lop why did you come for Latvia like this 😭

Of course Tara is offended about shooting the gun right. I love her so much.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK OH HELL NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TARA GET ARRESTED?? ATE YOU TRYING TO GIVE US A HEATT ATTACK? Girl I will sue you for emotional damage 💔

Okay no. If that isn't prove for Judy being Ghostface then call me delusional. How in the world is she even allowed to investigate her own sons death?? That can't be legal. She must have caught wind of the plan and wanted to finally get rid of Tara.

Oh man, poor Tara. She is completely out of control here and is so desperate for R to be safe.

Okay hmm. They are still going through with the plan. Oh no, I'm doubting Judy being Ghostface now... As if she would Attest Tara and then go into the school to kill the scooby gang. Aah help I'm so confused now. What did you do to me 😭

Poor Tara was arrested, Judy feels victorious and the others are still going through with the plan. I'm emotionally destroyed, how will I be able to work now??

Also sorry for this long ass ask but I told you I will get more unhinged the closer we get to discovering the identity of Ghostface.

Hi bby!!! Thank you for your amazing asks as always 😊

I live for how your train of thought is getting more and more chaotic 😂

#ask #ghostface!tara #spoilers

[saint-starflicker]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Nobody tagged me I just thought this would be fun.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 8 but that's not counting Ye Olde FF.Net or the ancient ruins that used to be LiveJournal blogs. Plus, I add to Anonymous Collections works that I think don't fit in with everything else*, and that will also affect my self-reported word count.

* The slice-of-life fic about 13-year-old Jason McConnell's haircut. I wrote it in 6 hours and thought it was lighthearted and fun but if I kept my name there then the list of works would read like: theocratic colonialist breeding-stock homophobe dystopia, if Saw 2004 were a stageplay and my blorbos were in a production of it, 🌼💛🌞 G-rated tweenaged school dress code problems 🌞💛🌼, angst-filled description of Neil Perry's suicide attempt and Todd's abusive ex, hanahaki...

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 133825 but I'm writing this while procrastinating on the final chapter of the latest one, and that's only counting the visible 8.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Bare: a Pop Opera is the main one at the moment. Before that, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4, His Dark Materials, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (never published, devices and Yahoo Group long-lost), the book series that shall not be named (pencil and composition pad), and The X Files or maybe I was only a reader for this last one.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Pepper Ghost Effect [ Dead Poets Society ]

Between the Lines [ Babel ]

Trust Fall [ Bare ]

Speak Again Bright Angel [ Bare ], and

The Very Pink of Courtesy [ Bare / Fraternity crossover ]

5. Do you respond to comments? I do my best.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Currently "have a cross to wear but the bolt reminds me" because I wrecked my own ship in the penultimate chapter. I wrote on my outline that I get this ship back in the harbor for the final chapter but when I sit down to actually write that happening ...I end up laying myself on the floor and gnawing on the leg of my desk. That's why I am procrastinating by answering these 😁

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? That would be either Trust Fall or The Very Pink of Courtesy. Others might end happily but it's still a literally war-torn planet/country situation, their friends died, or it's writing hopefully from the inside of a Catholic boarding school, or the characters don't know that they're all going to die in the canon and that's the only reason that they're happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really to fanfiction. I have gotten some necessary criticism for original fiction, but it's with original fiction that I have also received online hate that was not at all constructive or applicable. I think one commenter thought I was somebody else or meant to comment on something else entirely, so that's just rotten luck. If it's a general complaint about trends in fics that sound suspiciously similar to stuff that I write, I don't really count that as me getting hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have no qualms about writing explicitly sexual scenes. I do gloss over sex scenes that aren't as important to the plot or tone of the work, but that's not always a deliberate conscious decision (The Pepper Ghost Effect not having a sex scene surprised me: my headcanon Neil and Todd in this situation were both so touchstarved and thirsty over each other, I thought when I started typing that "This will be the first fic I post that's rated Explicit" and then I kept on typing and it...wasn't...)

That said, I mentioned before finding the vocabulary for it either medical or vulgar and I don't want to take on either of those tones, so... I freely admit to writing in weird ways.

10. Do you write crossovers? There's a few paragraphs of a W.I.P. that throws a background Fraternity character (fanfiction asexual Osmon) in with the main cast of Mysterious Skin and The Living End. Mallory's in the trunk of Jon's and Luke's car. I do not know why fanfiction Mallory is in the trunk of Jon's and Luke's car. As I recall, that vehicle did not have a trunk?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Probably by one of those text theft bot trawler things, I heard there was an automated ebook formatting to put up for sale on some website several years ago. I don't understand the point of thieves putting it up for sale when I put the same text up for free and I think readers aren't going to get what that story is about if they aren't already familiar with the source material. I think readers are more savvy than that, than to pay for something that is literally so fanficcy.

I don't believe that stealing an idea for a story is possible unless it's at a patent office. If I say, for example, "Osmon from Fraternity gets into a queerplatonic partnership with Brian from Mysterious Skin" and somebody else actually writes it, then that's not somebody else stealing my fic, because they would definitely write everything very differently. Obviously I'm not stealing from Andy Mientus or Scott Heim either in this thought experiment, because the idea to collaborate with each other Good Omens style probably hasn't occurred to them. I don't even know if they've ever met.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Sadly no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not really. I think an idea mentioned in passing by someone else sounds interesting, and so I write it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Naoto Shirogane and Kanji Tatsumi.

15. What’s a W.I.P. you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? ...Yes.

16. What are your writing strengths? Plot, although I get most complimented on characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Overuse of dialogue, plus I only write when I'm inspired at the same time that everything in my offline life is conducive to getting in that zone.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I've done that.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Put words with intent towards story somewhere outside my head, probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer—but I'm old and it was a long time ago so maybe I'll wake up gasping at 2 in the morning and remember "Detective AU! Blues Clues and Wishbone, grimdark crossover!!" or something, and I completely forgot.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I like them all equally, flaws and all, because they're done and out there. When they're stuck in my head as vibes or ideas or parts of scenes that have no resolution, I really don't enjoy them.

[yuoic]

Tagged by @t74x6n83pq9sck4va0 thank youuu c': 🫂

nickname: Evi. and ive gotten Em as well. [and I'm legally allowed to assassinate whoever calls me "Vicky" , by presidential decree, btw].

sign: Libra

height: 1.64 cm

last google search: rector de la uanl

number of followers: 2,923 [i do take my time to report + block pornbots as soon as they appear but I don't know if they will still count as followers]

amount of sleep: like a fucking princess [minimum 6 hours, maximum 9 hours; only pulling all-nighters when i know i'll be able to sleep as long as i want after that, and/or when i have no option, both for academic stuff, mostly]

lucky number: -1, 0, √2, 6, 17, 25, 78, 144

favorite color: green

dream job: philosopher (is that still a thing? like, people who get paid to just go insane, then write and publish the outcome?)

movie/book that summarizes me: Caín by José Saramago [according to a friend, and when we met back in 2014. And according to myself... i wouldn't know how to tell between me just loving those movies/books or actually seeing myself in them 🤔 so i'll stick to what she said]

favorite song: don't do this to me xd i don't know. [i spent about 20 minutes digging in my memories but i could come up with nothing. i could build an entire playlist with every song i've played on repeat for days at a time but i wouldn't distinguish them from being extremely good or promote them to the Favourite category. Special mention: Sleep Walking Past Hope by H.I.M. (Live at the Orpheum Theatre) — precisely because I played it nonstop, a billion times a day for about a whole month (back in 2015); but there are so, so many more like that one: Well I Wonder by The Smiths, Meadowlarks by Fleet Foxes, Él No Sabe by El Duelo, To Bid You Farewell and Benighted by Opeth, Como É Grande O Meu Amor Por Você by Roberto Carlos, A Nike Like This by Paisajes Trágicos (a The Cure tribute, yes), Sophisticated Lady by Billie Holiday, Fated Faithful Fatal by Marilyn Manson, 7 Days by NCT Dream, Flow by Sade, We Laugh Indoors by Death Cab for Cutie, Good Morning Sun by Piero Umiliani. I mean, look at the entire paragraph ive written just to make up to this question... Christ]

favorite instrument: mayonnaise

aesthetic: ugly

favorite author: please don't do this to me either. it's been 15 minutes already. but just not to leave this blank: José Saramago (indeed), Aldous Huxley, Robert Sapolsky, Yuval Noah Harari, Miguel de Unamuno, Marcus Aurelius, J.K. Rowling, Desmond Morris, Xavier Velasco... but as I don't have a favourite (musical) artist, I don't have one favourite author and for the same reason: I don't like every single book/song they've made. An exception could be Marcus Aurelius but because he literally wasn't a writer per se and "wrote" just ONE book... which he never even meant for it to be published anyway (after he died someone found a bunch of manuscripts under his bed or something, then made them a book). [Again, I'm sorry for the whole paragraph :( writing these any shorter would have been just so inaccurate]

favorite animal noise: human babies laughter

wearing: old, plain, green hand-me-down t-shirt; old, mended, worn-out-black Levi's; old, torn, chipped hiking boots; and every outfit of mine is just a variation of colours of these same things.

song stuck in my head: Ya No Soy Tu Mujer by La Factoría.

i tag @corvus-pictor, @nullheaven, @theartofdyingtogether, @puppetstringed, @sczzzm-4v0mez, @muddress, @02void, @tuskegeejetter, @minkrug, @silkskull and everyone else who wants to play :D <3

#josé saramago #H.I.M. #the smiths #Fleet foxes #el duelo #Opeth #Roberto Carlos #Paisajes trágicos #the cure #billie holiday #marilyn manson #nct dream #Sade #Death cab for cutie #piero umiliani #aldous huxley #robert sapolsky #yuval noah harari #miguel de unamuno #marcus Aurelius #jk rowling #Desmond morris #xavier velasco #La factoría #musical taste #yuoic

[shelbystales]

Honor and Blood - Part five

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Read previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 -

Summary: you are a gypsy and your family lives near Birmingham. Tommy Shelby needs a favor and Johnny Dogs says you’re the one he should ask for. A meeting is scheduled and when Tommy meets you, he is instantly drawn to you.

Have in mind that this story happens in season 1 and the beef the Shelbys had with the Lees was solved before Tommy got the guns.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, mild smut

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The days passed and Tommy barely left your mind.

You went to bed and dreamed about him... wild dreams. You also had a weird dream about a party where he was dacing with someone and you felt sick. You didn’t know what that meant and just assumed it was your mind playing tricks on you

You hoped to see him when you made your way through the city to the shop, but you never did.

He is a busy man.

You wondered if he felt the same for you if he wanted the same thing you did. You didn't really know what you wanted from him, but you knew that you wanted him.

As you organized the tapestry on the shop's storage room you heard them call for you

"Y/N there's someone in here for you!" you heard

You stood up from where you were kneeling and cleaned the little dust that got in your dress.

When you walked out of the storage room you saw Polly and smiled

"Hey!" you said approaching her "what are you doing here?"

"Hi, dear" she hugged you "Tommy sent me. He wanted me to deliver this" she handed you a file

"What is this?" you asked opening it

"Some sort of contract? I haven't really looked into it" she answered “he just told me to tell you to take it to the city hall to get legitimated”

As you took the papers out of the file you saw writing in bold letters 'contract of ownership', you smiled.

"Oh I know what this is," you said "thank you, Polly"

"You are very welcome, love. He said if you have any doubts he would be in the garrison at the end of the day” she said lighting herself a black cigarette “Things are looking good" she said looking and walking around the shop "And you look good too," she said looking you up and down.

Since you now came to town every day, you decided to change your appearance a little to look more like most people, and with a simple change in your closet, you did.

You didn’t want to cut your hair short like every other woman in town, so you started to take more care of your hair, wearing braids with little silver embellishments, keeping your gypsy spirit alive at least in your hair.

"Well thank you. Hated the looks they gave me" you put the files behind the counter

She nodded “I know what you mean. Just don’t let ‘em change you too much, ok?” she said with care in her eyes and you nodded.

She started walking around the shop again.

"I can't wait till we are open," you said with excitement and Polly smiled

"You are putting your blood and sweat in this aren't ya?" she asked as she got closer to the jewelry showcase

"I'm only doing my best," you said

"This is so beautiful Y/N," she said pointing.

You approached her and saw that she was talking about an earring made out of Esmeraldas and gold.

"Oh, yes... that one is one of my favorites" you statted

"Maybe you're looking at your first client" she winked "I'll be here when you guys open up. Two days yes?" you nodded “see you then” she smiled and gave you one last hug before leaving.

“Wait,” you said as she was crossing the door. She turned around to look at you

"Why did Tommy send you?" you asked, "why didn't he give this to me himself?"

"Tommy... he is busy, love. He's always busy, and this bloody business he is doing now..." she shook her head disapprovingly "his head is somewhere else these days" you nodded, and with one last smile, she left.

You went behind the counter and started to read the contract. It wasn't a very long one but on the second page, in one of the first paragraphs, there was something wrong, the name of the street was misspelled and you knew that could be a problem.

You couldn't take this to city hall, and you didn't have a typing machine to correct it. You would have to go to him.

You decided to believe what Polly had told you and at the end of the day, you were heading to the garrison. Hoping he was there.

As you walked in, the eyes were on you again, but this time they were different. They weren't looking at you as if they thought you were strange but as if they desired you. That somehow bothered you way more.

You went straight to the bartender.

"Where's Tommy?" you asked him and he pointed to the same little room he did the last time "thanks," you said and walked towards it.

And there he was with his brothers drinking whisky.

"Y/N!" Arthur yelled your name raising his glass "You came to drink with us!?"

"Hi, Arthur. No, I didn't..." you looked at Tommy "I was hoping we could talk. About the contract," you said and he nodded downing his cup with one last sip

"Oh work work work. Just relax Y/N the sun is down, we celebrate! another day has passed. We drink! And we let the bloody work for tomorrow, eh, Right brother?" John said tangling his words as he spoke, clearly drunk as well.

"Yeah, right" Arthur agreed and they both looked at Tommy

"Let's do it somewhere else, eh," he said standing up while John and Arthur booed him playfully

You left the room with him and as you walked out you heard Arthur talking to John "We can't judge... he only wants to get his dick wet" and both of them laughed

You rolled your eyes

"Don't listen to them, ey" He said in your ear. You looked at him and smiled

"Where are we going?" you asked

"To me office. You want to discuss the contract right?" he asked and you nodded "we do that in an office" You stopped walking

"But it's a simple tiny thing. It can be done here if you want" you said but he shook his head "you sure?"

"Yes, I'm" he answered "Just give me one sec," he said leaving you close to the bar and disappearing somewhere.

Oh if he ever wants to punish you, that's all he has to do: leave you in a crowded place. You felt like a tiny deer surrounded by a bunch of hungry wolfs.

No, stop it. You are a powerful woman and if any of these men come any closer you can easily hurt them, you told yourself.

"You here alone?" you heard a woman with an Irish accent ask, you looked at her and saw a very beautiful blond woman.

"Just about to leave" you smiled "you work here?" you asked noticing she stood behind the counter.

"Started today" she answered

"Good luck" you smiled

"Thank you, they aren't that bad," she said and you smiled "I am Grace"

"Y/N" you introduced yourself

"What you think about reading my future you delicious little thing,” a man asked behind you, clearly drunk

You rolled your eyes "not that bad, hum?" you asked her and she shrugged

"Hey I spoke to ya" he touched your arm pulling you to turn to him

"Your future tells me..." you shook your arm releasing his grip on your arm "that if you don't fuck off you will wake up without your balls," you said and he laughed.

You sighed seeing Tommy approach.

"Oh aren't you a cocky bitch" he said approaching his face to yours so that you could smell the alcohol on him

"Are we good here?" Tommy asked

"Yeah, just gonna show this bitch her place, Tommy," the man said.

Tommy frowned, having no idea who this man was and why the hell he was calling him Tommy.

"I wasn't asking you," he said bluntly and the man backed away a bit "Is this man bothering you Y/N?" he asked you as he put his gloves on

You saw the man's expression change in a matter of seconds.

The pub went quiet, watching the exchange.

You could see John and Arthur standing by the door, ready to act if needed.

You looked at him and shook your head, not wanting to be in the middle of a fight or something. You just wanted to get the hell out of that place.

He nodded placing his hand on your lower back and leading you out of the pub “let’s get out of ‘ere then”

"Tommy with the respect I didn't know she was yours," the man said walking after you both. Tommy stopped and turned to him

"She saved you a lot of shame by lying. So why don't you back off, ey?" Tommy asked putting his hand out and pointing at him "I'll deal with you later" the man’s face turned white and you both left the pub

"You ok?" he asked as you made your way to wherever his office was

"Yes," you answered, "where did you go?".

"Had to ask Arthur for something... For a meeting we have tomorrow" he explained and you nodded. Little did you know that he simply came back to warn them to never make that sort of comment about you ever again.

His office wasn't far long.

As you walked inside you saw how messy that place was it didn't look like an office

"Where are we?" you asked

"This is the betting shop" he answered "over here" he called you opening a door.

Walking in it was a bit more like an office, a tiny one but he was making his way up, just like you.

"Do you want some whisky?" he asked putting two glasses on the desk and you nodded sitting down.

"Thanks," you said as he handed you your glass. He nodded and sat on his chair.

"So what seems to be the problem?" He asked and you handed him the contract.

"There is something misspelled," you said. When he picked the contract he barely looked at the first page and went straight to the second page. You frowned at him and smiled "but it seems like you already know" he looked at you and shook his head

"I don't," he said and for a second you thought you could see him holding a smile.

Would he put something in there by purpose? was he testing you?

"You don't?" you asked smiling and he shook his head again.

"Where is it?" he asked flipping the pages

"Page two, second paragraph"

he looked at the papers for a while and shook his head again "can't seem to find it" he said.

At that point, you didn't know if he was making fun of you or if he was being honest and didn't see it.

You stood up and made your way to him.

Standing by his chair you leaned closer to him and pointed at the mistake.

"Right here," you said but he wasn't looking at the document no more, he was looking at you.

He led his free hand to your face and with a simple small movement, he pulled your face and kissed you.

He put the contract on the table, freeing his other hand to put it on your waist and pull you to sit on top of him.

The kiss was intense and oh my god he was good kisser.

Your heart raced and your belly filled with excitement as his hands roamed over your body putting pressure and being gentle in the right places.

You backed away to look at him.

"Answer me honestly, did you put that on purpose?" you asked

"I was distracted" he shrugged and you smiled

"Distracted?" you asked and he nodded "with what?"

"The thought of you" he answered and pulled you into a kiss again "in me office," he said in between kisses "I guess I accidentally made a mistake. It's a good thing you saw it".

"Accidentally?" you asked smiling and he nodded holding your face and kissing you more passionately.

And there it was, the answer you needed. He wanted you too. He made a mistake to simply have you with him again.

You stayed awhile, enjoying every caress he gave you, every touch, every kiss, every compliment.

His hands held you tightly and encouraged you to move to mount him. You start moving on top of him, you felt his erection through his pants so hard and desperate to release.

Fuck, you needed him so much.

"You're killing me 'ere" he muttered and you chuckled subtly.

"Sorry," you said awkwardly

"Don't be, eh" he said admiring your face as he caressed and kissed you again.

Holding your ass with both hands, he stood up supporting you as he did, and placed you on the table.

"Fuck" you whispered with the movement, feeling more excited now. He smiled at the corner of his lips, a smile so full of desire you felt like prey, making you feel like you were on fire.

His hands roamed your inner thighs, pressing it as it traveled the warm, soft skin beneath your dress contrasting to his cold, calloused hands.

His hand found its way over your panties teasing you as his fingers traveled the hem of it.

You breathed soundly and moved your hips encouraging him to move his hands inside.

"Hm," he rested his forehead on yours "tell me what you want, love," he said with his voice huskier than ever.

"I want you" you whispered

"Ya?" he asked and you nodded "what do you want me to do to you?" he asked

"Make me feel good" you said

"Make you feel good, eh?" he asked pulling your panties aside and sliding his fingers between your folds.

You closed your eyes and moaned as he pressed gently at your clit, circling over it

"Like that?" he asked

"Yes" you answered almost in a whisper as you let yourself enjoy his touch

"You are so wet for me, love" he said and kissed your neck. You roamed your hands over his toned abs and went straight to his pants

"And you so hard for me," you said and he groaned with your touch. Increasing his movements over your clit making you spasm a little as the feeling got too strong.

He inserted one of his fingers inside of you moving it slowly. As you ajusted he inserted another one curving it a little so it would hit that nice spot.

No one had ever made you feel this good, it was almost as if he knew your body as if he knew exactly what you liked and what you needed.

You rested your head on his shoulders breathing into his neck as your orgasm built uncontrollably.

"Fuck, Tommy" you whispered between your soft moans "I'm so close"

He intensified his movements and with his thumbs he managed to caress your clit at the same time.

It didn't take longer than 5 minutes for you to come around his fingers. As you came your senses were overstimulated and you barely could see or understand whatever was around you. your moans left your lips as if they had a life of their own. Your body felt weak, you were certain that if you were standing up you would be on the floor right now. Your breathing was heavy and your heartbeat was so strong you could feel it in your ear and you felt your body hot as if you had just come out of a very hot bath. Your juices leaked out of you and dripped on top of his table, you never thought that you could come like that.

The sight of you like that made Tommy at the edge of his release.

"That was intense" you managed to say after a while, your head still resting on his shoulders as your breathing stabilized.

"Did you feel good enough?" he asked and you smiled raising your head and looking at his eyes

"Did you see what just happened to me?" you chuckled "I bearly lost control of my body"

"Yes then, ey?" he asked with lust in his voice and you nodded smiling

"Your turn" you caressed his erection but he held your wrists.

"Not today love. Let today be about you, eh" he said pulling you into a kiss

"What do you mean?" you asked a bit confused

"Let's take this slow, ey. No need to hurry, love" he said caressing your face.

You felt like if you pushed a little he would give, but you didn't. You didn't know why he wanted what he wanted but you nodded. Maybe he just wanted to leave you wanting more, another game of his. Or maybe he didn't want to prove his brothers right, he didn't want to get his dick wet.

"How many contracts of mine are you going to screw up until I am deserving of that, hm?" you asked jokingly

"As many as I need" he said as he helped you out of the table and you chuckled.

You sat with him a while longer just talking about life and flirting while drinking whisky. You not usually drinked out of the camp, but you let your guard down with him.

Somewhere between midnight you went back home.

tag list: @abbygraceasd @tsnelf7 @blyanyan @thecrazytealady @chaoticevilbakugo @mestiza003 @itsmadamehydra @captivatedbycillianmurphy @faatxma

#peaky blinder fanfic #fanfic #blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x imagine #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x y/n #john shelby #arthurshelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommyshelby #thomas shelby x reader #cillianmurphy

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

hi i was wondering if you could write a will poulter fic where he comforts the reader (who’s a college senior) because they’re constantly studying and working because they were the forgotten kid and told by their family members that they were lazy and would never amount to anything so they work really hard at school to prove them wrong, so will helps them with their work and tells them that they’re so smart and that he’s proud of them <3

Well that's kind of a little close to home lmao. But of course, sweet Anon😊

~~~~~~~~~~

You roughly shut your laptop closed and slammed your palms down on your desk in frustration, immediately feeling the harsh sting from the force of your outburst.

You had been trying to write one of your essays for one of your final classes all day, not getting anywhere but a few paragraphs that you weren't even happy with.

You still had a few days until it was supposed to be turned in, but you thought you'd get an early start and try to finish half of it. For some reason, you just couldn't find the right words and information you needed to get the required amount of pages. You quickly got frustrated, and you just couldn't try anymore.

You looked at the clock on your phone: 8 pm. You started at 2 pm. You really needed to relax, but how could you do that when your future is literally in your hands?

This was typical behavior for you, always stressing out about school and your future.

Ever since you were young, you basically had to raise yourself. Your siblings were always your parents' favorites. You always got the hand-me-downs. Your siblings' were always the ones who got the brand new car for their birthday, always the first ones who are asked where they want to eat, the ones who got financial support when they decided they wanted to go to college. You got none of that.

You didn't know why, but it always felt like your whole existence wasn't welcomed by your parents, even though they made you. They were always so disappointed in you, even though you never though you did anything to earn those feelings from them. Every day, you tried to please them. Every day, you went the extra mile just to try and be as good as your siblings.

You got straight A's in school. From K through 12, you worked your ass off to try and live up to your parents' standards. You were valedictorian, and your parents didn't even blink an eye. They didn't even go to your high school graduation. They always told you that you would go nowhere in life, and they didn't even show up so you could see them proven wrong.

Since you had no support from your family, you managed to get financial aid, which helped a lot. And just like your high school academic career, you kept up your typical straight A status. You kept receiving financial aid, and you even got invited to various sororities/fraternities due to your constant good grades.

Eventually, you met Will, and he was a person who you've never personally encountered before. He was so supportive, and kind, something you never gotten from your family or friends. You had no idea how to react to him at first, you had to get used to thinking that he was just kind naturally with no ulterior motives. He helped you overcome a lot of your insecurities, helped you learn how to live with them, and that meant the world to you.

It didn't take long for the two of you to become a couple. You were so afraid that you were moving too fast, having done that in the past, but Will was so different from people you've dated before. He was so reassuring and didn't pressure you into anything, another rarity.

You remember one day, you got the first B in your entire life. You sobbed all morning. You felt like such a failure. Will didn't understand why it was such a big deal, but he tried to comfort you as best he could until you calmed down. You decided that was the moment you should tell him everything.

He was the only person you opened up to, telling him about your family and upbringing. He was devastated for you, but every day, he made it a habit of telling you how much you meant to him and how much he loved you. When he first started doing that, you couldn't help but be moved to tears. That's when you realized you were in love with him too.

You needed his support right now.

And it's like he read your mind from the other room, or probably just heard the slam of your laptop, and entered your room to see your angered flustered face with your arms crossed rightly across your chest, taking deep breaths. He could almost see the hot steam radiating off the top of your head. "Essay not going well, darling?"

Hearing his calming voice made you ease up a little bit instantly, and you responded with a weary smile. "Obvious, huh?"

"Hopefully you didn't damage your computer." Will chuckled, walking over to you and leaning down to hug you from behind, his chin resting on the top of your head as he interlocked his arms just beneath your neck.

"I'm just getting really frustrated with this essay." You mumbled. "I feel so stupid not knowing how to write this damn thing."

"Hey." Will turned you head to the side to look at him, a serious expression on his face. "You're not stupid, Y/n. You're so incredibly smart, the smartest person I've ever met." He placed a gentle peck on your lips, giving you a reassuring smile. "You're just having an off day, everyone had those. Okay? Maybe stop for tonight, eat something, rest, do whatever, just try to not think about this essay for the rest of the night. You'll get back at it tomorrow with a clear head. And hey, I'll even help you. How about that?"

You chuckled. "You'd help me write this essay?"

A light blush dusted Will's cheeks, a smirk gracing his lips. "Well, I can't say I'd be much help. But I can try my best."

You leaned over to kiss Will sweetly, smiling as you pulled away. "Just being here to talk me down is enough for me, love."

~~~~~~~~~~

Man, I wish I had a Will to help me get through difficult essays...

#will poulter #will poulter imagine #will poulter x reader

[etheraella]

The Lost Letter for Love

(Fred Weasley x Reader)

Summary : 10 years of friendship through letters, and being a hopeless romantic didn’t help you realise your feelings for your best friend, until it might be too late.

Warnings : MUGGLE!AU slow-burn, angst, violence if you squint, best friends-to-lovers, a few cursing you probably won’t realise.

Feet shuffling against the living room carpet, you finally let your body slump on the sofa with a sigh. The sound of wrinkling leather waves through the empty corridor of your shared house. You ignored it, knowing that one of your housemates (who also happen to be your best friends) might come huffing into the room for continuously abusing furniture. With the same occasion happening countless number of times that week, you expected them to grow tired of your mood swings.

You reached for the nearest cushion beside you, digging your fingers onto the sides of the rough object, before stuffing your face into it; rage burning in your chest for a peculiar Weasley. You lift your face from the cushion furiously, running your hands through your hair.

"Is it that hard for that git to take time and write to me?" you cursed under your breath.

You heard a scoff before lifting your head and meeting eyes with your friend, Delilah. She was leaning against the archway of the living room. "Go on, explain yourself." she said, walking to the couch beside you -- leaving a gap, knowing you might blow off any minute if bothered. Before you could reply, she shakes her head. "And don't lie to me, you've been acting like a maniac, plotting a murder for a week now."

"She probably is, It's been 3 weeks since she last received a letter from her long-distance boyfriend. Of course she's gone mad." You needn't turn around, knowing it was your other roommate, Sara.

"Fred." you say gripping the sweat-stained pillow and throwing it at her. "Is my best friend," pausing before adding "Nothing more," then leaning against the couch.

You bit your lip in frustration, pulling off a few loose threads from the hem of your sleeves in anger, "Be patient, Y/N," Delilah says, patting your back. "He might be busy with his shop or dealing with.. well, whatever he might be doing," You rolled your eyes, seeing the now sitting Sara looking at you, sympathetically.

"Well, he can do whatever the hell he wants for all I care. No actually--I don't care, they're just letters." You stood up and stormed up to your room. Shutting the door with a click, you hear muffled voices of your two friends, one of them saying "Wasn't she enraged three minutes ago".

You feel your head spinning before pulling out a specific letter from a wooden box and leaning against the desk. The words that were inked on the paper still enliven the butterflies in your stomach, even after you've memorised them. It was the last letter you received from him before his gifts came to an abrupt stop. You felt like a 16 year old teenager feeling giddy over a crush. Your eyes widen -- reminding yourself "NO Y/N, he's just a friend!" Suddenly remembering you weren't supposed to be 'caring', you cringed to yourself before shoving the letter back in the box weighing a heavy heart.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

You let your body fall against the soft mattress with a squeal, staring up the ceiling whilst clutching the new envelope up to your chest. Without realising the rapid rate of your heartbeat, you impatiently tore open the envelope and unfolded its content.

Dearest Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits.

I deeply apologise for this delayed reply as I have been quite busy with the joke shop here. Formalities aside, I'm going to be making a few business arrangements in your town. George thought I should go instead of him, and I definitely agree with him. I can't wait to see you, and expect me to ring your house phone tomorrow to discuss. Sadly, I'd have to make this letter short, pumpkin.

P.S bring along that beautiful smile of yours when we meet.

Yours lovingly,

Fred G. Weasley

A smile forms across your face as you read his words, your heart doing summersaults. Before you could trace his signature, you hear a knock on your bedroom door. Sighing, you opened the door, seeing an eyebrow raised Delilah and Sara. Seeing your friends just makes you want to squeeze them in a hug of joy. The smile on your lips didn't falter as you tried forming words "I-"

"We know, Y/N." Delilah interrupted. "We guessed the moment you turned all giddy when coming home. You even fell from the entrance stairs! What'd he say?" Sara asked, smirking. You stared at them, the red mark on your ankle feeling suddenly obvious.

"He said he's going to be dealing with a few business things here. I think he's coming in a few days." You say, your smile growing wider as the words escape your lips. Fred and you have met before. Only, it was twice or trice a year from a long-distance decade of friendship.

Your friendship with Fred was a rather complicated story that even to you, seems a little cliche of how it started with a single complication.

A letter,

The letter had somehow mistakenly ended up to your address, knowing that a 'Hermione Granger' doesn't exist in your household. Being the hopeless romantic you are, you thought it was some kind of love letter so you tore open the letter and read it. In the midst of the paragraph, you feel a pang of guilt as the letter has only to do with family matters. You cursed yourself, and felt sorry for the sender and immediately returned the letter to the signed name 'Fred Weasley' with an attached paper for explanation.

A few days after, you received a letter a letter from him, this time with your name as the addressee. Fred apolagised and offered his gratitude for returning his letter, as it was his mistake for writing the wrong address after all.. And that ladies and gents, was the story on how your friendship was formed.

Although the two of you had exchanged numbers on paper, you fancied the idea of continuing to use the old method with letters, as it was a reminder of how the two of you had gotten to know each other. Fred had always been open about his family and business to you. The both of you admitted that you weren't romantically involved with anyone, but decided to leave that topic 2 years ago. Surely, if he was in a relationship, he'd let you know anyway.

The more often you and Fred exchanged letters, the more you felt a tinge of excitement as he expresses his life and thoughts to you, hoping he'd feel the same. Sometimes, you'd spend endless nights rereading a few old letters of his which you cherished in a wooden box, paragraphs memorised.

Fred took you to meet his family on the third year of your friendship, even Hermione who was Fred's future sister-in-law back then was there. Molly Weasley had sent you presents for Christmas since then, which contained her self-made sweaters. You wondered how much Fred mentioned you to the Weasleys.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Later that week, Fred gave you a call, arranging your meeting for an evening. As soon as you saw the red-head arrive on your front door, you smiled and embraced him in a friendly hug. Fred, who was towering over you, looked the same as he always did; charming, with freckles painted on the bridge of his nose, enough to sway any girl’s feet.

"How's my pumpkin doing?" he grins, with a raised brow. You feel your face heating from the sound of his low-pitched voice calling the nickname he gave you 4 years ago. "I'm doing fine, Freddie." you said, returning his grin. The two of you immediately caught yourselves in a conversation on the journey. Clueless as to where Fred was taking you.

"Are you trying to kidnap me?" you scoffed jokingly, after the fourth time you had asked Fred for the destination while he was continuously refusing. "Pumpkin, I would have ordered someone to bring you to my hotel if I was." he winked, glancing sideways at you, making your cheeks blow bright pink in the shadow of the night. "But then again, I won't be kidnapping if I don't do it myself".

Finally, the two of you arrived at a coffee shop, "Is this the 'surprise', Freddie?" you asked him, getting out of the car.

"Not exactly." he smiles. The smell of baked muffins hit your nostrils as you enter the shop. Fred led you to a seat while you silently followed him, he stopped at a corner table next to a huge window, a girl with long black hair was already occupied.

"Y/N, I'd like to introduce you to Grace, my girlfriend." Fred turns to you with a prideful grin plastered across his face. "Darling, this is my best friend, Y/N." You felt your heart stop. Following his gaze, your eyes landed on the girl appearing to be his girlfriend, smile up at you, showing her pearly white teeth. Quickly pushing your overfilled thoughts away, you shook her hand, the room suddenly became insufferable. You forced a smile as you hesitantly took the seat opposite to them.

"Since, you're my best friend and all, I thought the two of you should meet." Even though he sounded as if it was meant for you, he didn't spare you a single glance. "Yes, Y/N. Seeing how much you meant to him and all." Grace smiled slightly, "I mean.. as friends." Grace added pressing the word 'friends'. You could’ve sworn you saw a sly look in her icy blue eyes, but shook it off, trying your best to act natural, smiling back at her sweetly.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Every time you glanced at Fred, you felt a stinging pain in your chest; maybe you were just feeling protective over him? But does that include wanting to have him all for yourself, as selfish as it is? It felt wrong with the idea of loving your best friend, but it felt right loving him.

Regretfully, you felt like an idiot for not recognizing your feelings sooner and denying them. The missed opportunities you could have experienced if you had just revealed your true feelings to him whether it was on paper, on phone or even in person. Were you just scared of ruining your friendship?

Sara and Delilah noticed your change in behaviour when Fred’s name pops up in random conversations, until one night you burst into tears and poured your bottled-up feelings onto them. It didn't help matters when you and Fred met, the blue-eyed minkle always tagged along. When Fred wasn't around, she bared her venom-like teeth. "I've seen the way you look at Fred, I'm not stupid."

And from there onwards…

"You're too immature for Freddie."

…you started knowing her more than Fred ever will.

"The two of you have been friends for what? A decade? He's known me a year, guess we all know who he sees as his lover and who as a friend."

That last statement hurt enough for you to have to restrain yourself from slapping the smirk off her face as she said it. You tried your best to act normally in front of Fred, but you knew seeing them together was a pain too unbearable for you to handle, so you declined his hangout calls and started seeing him less and less.

The last thing you wanted was to destroy their relationship by breaking down in front of the person you cared for, and revealing Grace's true colours. Knowing Fred, he'd side with you and break up with Grace, but seeing them together made you realise how happy they were. Fred deserved the happiness Grace brought him. And you’re well aware that the feelings he shared with her were much more in depth than the ones he shared with you, because when he looks at her, his face says it all

.

.

.

A/N : Hi ! This is Luna, SO the ending wasn’t what I had in mind but overall, this story gives me victorian era vibes idk why lmao. OMG all my love goes to Celeste for helping me edit this, please reblog and comment if you like this fic :) We haven’t been active lately due to studying and all, but now we’re back with more fics. + taglist form up soon 🤝

#fred #harry potter #harry potter imagines #hp imagine #hp moodboard #fred weasley #george weasley #george #weasley #weasley twins #weasley angst #fred weasley imagine #george weasley x muggle!reader #muggle au #fred weasley x muggle!reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #harry potter angst #weasley twins imagines #slow burn #angst #best friends to lovers #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley angst #fred angst #hp #harry potter fanfic rec #harry potter fic #fanfiction #fred weasley x reader

[alieinthemorning]

(Taken from @/cozyvaquita on Twitter)

1. Something new you tired? Something you wish you did?

This year I started writing for a new fandom! I wish I wrote for any of the other ones I rambled about.

2. The fic with your best writing? What about your favorite? No. They're not the same.

I think Slip of His Mask has some of my best writing. I'm not too sure though. Can the audience please vote now?

More Than A Tool is one of my favorites. Anything that sticks in my head for a long time and evokes so much emotions from me gets to sit on the top shelf.

3. A line/paragraph (or even three) you wrote that absolutely bangs?

“You’re more than a weapon. More than a tool.” Your grip on him tightened. “You are Ajax. A son, a brother and the man that I love.”

- More Than A Tool

“There’s only one other person who shares in this pain and that’s you Diluc.” You made your way to him, placing your hands on his clenched fists.

“Please help Kaeya.”

He looked up at you. Eyes that burned with no flame, now hazed by tears.

“Please save your brother.”

- Slip of His Mask

“Which means,” She took your hands into her own, “each and every one of these scars is a star. Something that was meant to be.” She kissed them.

- Stars Within Scars

4. Pick a fic you've written. Now distill it into a single color. Why does it look that way to you?

A color? This is more so of a swirl. Its very dark with reds, blues and purples. A bit like a galaxy if you will. There's something that's not said in the fic but I've thought a lot about. It has to do with Kaeya's eyes, stigmata and Khaenri'ah. The fic I'm talking about is Slip of His Mask.

5. Three tracks you've listen to a totally normal amount while writing?

I'm not big on listening to music when writing since I usually zone all the way out and a song ends up playing like five times.

I'd say a lot of Friday Night Funkin' songs were played though.

6. The fic you spent the most time on?

Whispers on the Wind . I fretted so hard over it and I still don't think it's all that good. I always want to go back and work on it.

7. The fic that made you want to quit writing?

See above.

8. The fic you had the most fun with?

Sheer Cold Cryo. Reader mocking Kaeya was a highlight for me. Oh! and just pocking fun at him with Albedo!

9. The fic that should've gotten more attention. You know you're right. Tell everyone why.

All of them. Read them, they're a treat.

10. Favorite thing someone's said about your writing. In a fic comment or otherwise?

my first comment bc i love ur ficlet series omg heart eyes awooga

ittos lovely on Homie of an Oni (AO3)

Itto picks us up bridal style? Oh???

I love this collection so far! Well done!

Anon Itto Enjoyer on Homie of an Oni (AO3)

11. Your biggest writing grievance? Complain to your heart's content. You've earned the right.

The whole writing part. Why can't the ideas just go from my head onto the document?

12. The wip you're most enthused about? Show us a snippet.

I ain't got no tea sis.

13. The project you're happiest about finishing?

Smiles in yet another deleted fic. Once again, wasn't a genshin fic. But I spent a very long time on it! And it all didn't even get published! But I'm happy I finished it!

14. Your best oddly specific tag(s) you've used for you fics?

Arataki Itto Being The Best Character In Genshin Impact

15. Your writing process moodboard? Pick 4 images.

16. A fic you did the absolute most with, the one you wrote for you? You didn't have to go that far, but you wanted to. Brag about it.

[REDACTED] because it's deleted! Here's a comment I got on the fic though!

i yell-laughed at the idea of riku saying "lets rock and roll" a la embarrasing dad style, this was so cute heLLLP

17. Finally, writing is often a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad experience. What made you keep at it anyway in this bizarre year?

Me. There were things that I wanted to read that weren't written, so I had to write it.

I did my MHA fics under the cut!

I started writing for more female characters! I wish I finished that one fic! Too late for that now!

2. The fic with your best writing? What about your favorite? No. They're not the same.

I'm definitely gonna need an audience vote on this one. I have no idea.

I'm definitely gonna need an audience vote on this one. I have no idea.

3. A line/paragraph (or even three) you wrote that absolutely bangs?

SHIGARAKI TOMURA WAGES WAR ON HEROES

You shut off the tv.

And think back to simpler times.

When Shimura Tenko held your heart.

- Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko [one]

A red feather slid underneath the door and up toward the lock, but you snatched it out the air. “No!” Then shoved it back under. “Please, please—  Just leave me alone!”

There was a solid thump on the other side. “What happened? Is it something I did? I can’t stand to see you like this.” His voice was calm but you could still hear the undertones of pain and fear.

“No. You didn’t do anything wrong, Keigo.”

“Then why would you ask me if I hated you.”

“I—” The message flashed across your lids. “I can’t —” You pulled at your hair.

“Then… can I at least stay?” You wanted him to stay but you also wanted him to leave. He didn’t need to be here while you wallowed in self pity. It wasn’t even all that important anyway. Just you being over reactive as usual.

- Hawks | Takami Keigo [three]

“I gotta admit, it would’ve been easier to get rid of you if you weren’t so beautiful.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, choosing to ignore his compliment . “The worst part was that I saw it coming, I knew you’d hurt me, hurt us, but I still kept you around.” You shook your head. “We were never in love, we were simply caught up in a nightmare that felt like a dream.”

- Dabi [Winter Wonderland]

4. Pick a fic you've written. Now distill it into a single color. Why does it look that way to you?

Cinderella Blue. For the Cinderella Series I did. Well, not a series per say, but I wrote 3 fics using songs from Cinderella (1997)

Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?, Ten Minutes Ago, Dabi | Todoroki Touya [one]

5. Three tracks you've listen to a totally normal amount while writing?

I'm not big on listening to music when writing since I usually zone all the way out and a song ends up playing like five times. I'd say a lot of Friday Night Funkin' songs were played though.

6. The fic you spent the most time on?

I don't know... if it was anything it was a request though.

7. The fic that made you want to quit writing?

[Redacted]

Nah, I'll actually namedrop this one.

Quirkmates.

I'm not really a fan of Midoriya, but a few people were wondering if I was every gonna make it into a full fic.

The concept with good but I didn't have the motivation to properly executive it.

8. The fic you had the most fun with?

Foxy Mama, but like all the fun was behind the scene and are trapped in my head.

9. The fic that should've gotten more attention. You know you're right. Tell everyone why.

All of them. Read them, they're a treat.

10. Favorite thing someone's said about your writing. In a fic comment or otherwise?

OK this is really weird but all the nicknames Hawks uses just... makes me melt.

My_Little_Epona on Hawks | Takami Keigo [three] (AO3)

Something else completely relatable. I friggin' love angst, ngl. It's also really nice seeing Hawks being there for the reader, it makes my heart melt. I obviously don't know what the reader read, but I definitely can understand where she's coming from. Now, while I do hope nothing else ends up hurting you, I do love to read your angst fics! <3

MsPyromaniac on Hawks | Takami Keigo [three] (AO3)

Its nearly a year later vut i hope you feel better! ;u; also djdodndjdodndj i love me some hurt/comfort. its... very comforting xD

Summoner_Jay on Hawks | Takami Keigo [three] (AO3)

Thank y'all for the comments on my self-indulgent vent fics.

11. Your biggest writing grievance? Complain to your heart's content. You've earned the right.

The whole writing part. Why can't the ideas just go from my head onto the document?

12. The wip you're most enthused about? Show us a snippet.

I ain't got no tea sis.

13. The project you're happiest about finishing?

Smiles in yet another deleted fic. Once again, wasn't a genshin fic. But I spent a very long time on it! And it all didn't even get published! But I'm happy I finished it!

14. Your best oddly specific tag(s) you've used for you fics?

Reader has a Fox Quirk !

15. Your writing process moodboard? Pick 4 images.

16. A fic you did the absolute most with, the one you wrote for you? You didn't have to go that far, but you wanted to. Brag about it.

I'd say the Check In Series. I was going through it when I wrote those. Very dark times, read at your own risk.

17. Finally, writing is often a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad experience. What made you keep at it anyway in this bizarre year?

Me. There were things that I wanted to read that weren't written, so I had to write it.

#alie rambles #end of the year fanfic wrap up 2021 #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines

[voidstilesplease]

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much. 

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up. 

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?! 

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo? 

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

#📖: city of fallen angels #current read #anti clace #anti clary fray #anti jace wayland #city of fallen angels #mid-read rant #I'm just so triggered #books #bookish #bookblr #book quotes #book lines #shadowhunters #late to the party woes #cassandra clare #what are you doing with these characters #did you forget this wasn't a twilight fanfiction or something

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

(yes, I might be a space alien from the bizarro dimension — please excuse me, I'm just passing through :') I don't know if it'll ease your mind at all to tell you it wasn't a typo. But I'll try to elaborate because I do feel kind of bad for making you feel that way. Though, as a warning, there's probably going to be a lot of goalpost moving. I'm probably reaching with most of the following. (1/?)

So, speaking hypothetically. I'll start with the basic premise. Being competent at something means, to a degree, that it's possible that someone trusts in that competence. Whether that trust is or isn't built on nothing is immaterial — the concept of being trusted in itself leads to pressure. Like peer pressure, or expectations. So I'll say that being competent is a state of being that requires maintenance. (space alien, 2/?)

What if I was trusted to do something, but I was incapable of delivering? Would not one possible solution to prevent, or lower the likelihood of that happening be to never gain competence, and thus, never be put in a position where my expertise would be tested, only for me to fail? It's admittedly not a good place to be. I don't know with certainty what I am but that's of secondary importance. (space alien, 3/?)

(I apologise for the length. I would squeeze the apology elsewhere but this one is the shortest of all 8 paragraphs.) Then I got thinking about what could have a similar result as derived from various cores of the enneagram. (space alien, 4/?)

1s may consider the evil of doing others harm: if gaining competence meant becoming good at hurting other people, would it not be good for them to mitigate the issue in some way? Put in a position of power thanks to their competence, they may be at risk of developing an ego. Feeling correct in their views they may act with arrogance and cut down their opposition. In other words, they fear the corruptive influence of power gained through the path of competence. (space alien, 5/?)

2s might seek not to become competent because they want to be helpful; in a situation where they perceive their incompetence as beneficial they might well seek to remain an individual who's helpless. (space alien, 6/?)

4s might well come to the conclusion that skills they aren't born with— those latent, natural talents— are inauthentic because they don't arise naturally. An individual who has the philosophy that what they're born with is all they have, and that working to gain more means that they're acting against their nature. (space alien, 7/?)

7s might want to escape from a situation where they are forced to maintain the status quo — if competence in a field meant they had to become a maintainer of said status quo, and their responsibilities prevented them from experiencing new things, would they not want to avoid it? (space alien, 8/8)

(space alien, small addendum) Though I was being blithe earlier, I wanted to let you know that I am in a better place now than I was. It still sneaks up on me from time to time, however. Thanks and sorry about all this.

------------------------

Hi anon,

This got really academic-sounding because I tend to slip into that habit when I write an essay addressing an argument so in short: I think the fear you described is a fear of responsibility, but you’ve made an assumption (which I disagree with) that responsibility occurs if and only if the person is first competent. With that in mind the most likely enneatype is 7, though 9 is also possible.

Long answer:

This was extremely helpful in that it revealed the fear is not competence, but rather a collection of possible hypothetical implications thereof. Much of this was dependent on competence leading to extremely specific and not necessarily likely outcomes; additionally a lot of the arguments here don’t logically follow and as a result obscure the core fears, and a few rely on incorrect enneagram descriptions.

In part 2-3 the fear described is not of being competent, but the pressure of having responsibility and therefore having to living up to expectations the possibility failure. We also run into the core fallacy of the initial ask which is that responsibility is a certain consequence of competence, which for better or for worse is not true.

The rest is a specific exploration of certain enneatypes, addressed here:

It is true that a 1 would not want to become good at being evil, but that is a hyper-specific situation, and the fear is still “I don’t want to be corrupt”, not “I don’t want to be good at anything”. By this logic, wouldn’t they want to become highly competent at doing good instead?

It also relies on many, many assumptions - that competence always leads to power, that power always leads to arrogance, that arrogance would lead to cutting down the opposition, and that doing so is bad (what if the opposition is evil?).

A lot of average health 1s really want power because there’s often this undercurrent of belief that only they know how to do things the correct way. Additionally, 1 is highly correlated with high Te which tends to strongly value being capable. I think it’s safe to say that the vast majority of 1s if anything fear being incompetent.

For 2s...how would being helpless ever be more helpful? By definition, helpless means you are incapable of providing help to yourself and others, and 2s want to be loved by others typically through being helpful.

For 4s, while I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that on this earth there is a person who is a type 4 and holds this belief, I would not ascribe this belief to be a major characteristic of 4s as a whole. If you’re trying to type a specific person with this fear then it would be a simple matter of confirming if they do have this highly specific philosophy as well, but in general 4s seek to distinguish themselves. Additionally, it is important to remember that 4s seek to be unique, not authentic necessarily. Authenticity is more tied to Fi than 4. 4s often try on multiple personas in an effort to be someone unique.

For 7s, that again is making the assumption that competence leads to something. In fact, the description for 7 is a good way to address the core problem of this argument in general which is that becoming competent in something is seen as, first of all, a binary, when it’s a range (many people can have a skill at varying degrees) and second, that upon achieving competence you are suddenly both saddled with responsibility and deprived of agency. Finally, you mention that the 7 fears having a responsibility that would prevent them from being able to experience other things. That is a true fear of the 7...but the scenario you’ve created is both not at all unique to competency (there are many ways a person can become responsible for something) nor is it an inevitable consequence of competency (plenty of competent people are not the primary person responsible in that area).

So in summary: you’re describing a few different fears. The only one that makes sense is that of a 7 fearing responsibility. The description of 1 relies on too many unlikely assumptions and contingencies, that of a 2 contradicts itself, and that of a 4 is based less in 4 and more in Fi (and again relies on an extremely unlikely hypothetical) but I can easily see many 7s fearing responsibility and therefore avoiding things that could theoretically lead to them being put in a position where they’d be asked to be the responsible person. This would fit some of the jack-of-all-trades, master of none stereotypes of the 7 as well.

#enneagram #Anon ask #answered asks

[jamiebluewind]

Thank You

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being kind. I know some of you must be... annoyed that I haven't been sharing anything lately (I have too if I'm being honest), but nobody has thrown any hate at me for it and for that, I'm grateful.

I've been resting up since I got out of the hospital, a fact that has been driving me crazy if I'm being honest. Only so many hours in a day and I'm spending so many of um in the bed (doesn't help that dad fussed at me for it)! Then I tell myself that if one of you were in the same position, I'd be fussing your ear off for thinking such a thing and trying to get you to rest, so I'm trying to give myself the same courtesy.

I'm... hesitant to share what went wrong, not for embarrassment but because I don't want yall to worry. Then I realized that this post has probably already make you think far worse, so here goes...

WARNING: Blood mention, illness, body function mention, pain, menstruation, confusion, dehydration, (please tell me if I missed any!)

I got an IUD put in. I didn't want it, but my periods are bad and my insurance wouldn't cover just removing the parts before trying this first. It caused a lot of pain due to having nothing for pain, the person putting it in not knowing what they were doing, and them using silver nitrate without rinsing it off which gave me chemical burns on my cervix. I stayed in pain and they responded saying to take a tylenol and I'd eventually be fine. During this time, I bled constantly. Not a lot, but some. I also had my normal periods to deal with. I found out it was even effecting my mood and making me tired (hormones, constant cramping, or both, you be the judge). Two months in, I wanted it out. They said I just needed to tough it out and I would be fine by 6 months. I'm pretty sure my face did a thing that symotaniously screamed confusion and "fuck you", but I did as I was told.

In the meantime (during December and even now), my heater thermostat started doing something weird. I set the temp, but it would let it get down to like 55° F (12.7° C) at night when it was set on like 68 (20° C). During the day, it would get about 10° F warmer than what it was set (so like 78° F or 26° C). It was kicking on, but not regulating it how it was supposed to. I told my landlady, but they take for-freaking-ever! So out comes an electric blanket to keep me warm at night. I basically lived under the thing after the sun set! I just kept it on one or two so I wouldn't get too warm. I was also feeling crapy (*gestures to previous paragraph*), which meant more bed time than normal.

A few days before Christmas, I got a shot that was supposed to last a month and help block a nerve that causes migraines. I have debilitating hemiplegic migraines and the risk was very low, so I decided to give it a shot. The medication is very new and due to my rare form of migraine reacting atypically to medications, you would think I would know by now not to try medications that haven't been out long.

The fourth and final domino in all this was all the running due to the holiday season. I'm disabled and I have a weak immune system, but I kept pushing myself. I walked so much price shopping for things for everyone that would both mean something and not break budget (even when me left leg wanted to nope out) because Dad gave me a bit of money last minute to help me buy gifts and I only had a week. I wrapped gifts for dad and myself. I cleaned and did some baking. Then there was the driving and the great but exhausting time with family and playing catch with my youngest nephew until my arm was nearly falling off. When I eventually got back home, my whole body had this bone deep ache. Not like overworking muscles after not using them for a long time, but like I had the flu. This is on top of the cramping.

*Note: Some of the information past this point is things the medical staff told me happened, things my dad said happened, and texts*

I would get better and worse. Always worse when I first woke up (remember the blanket?). I went to dad's for a traditional southern New Year's meal. He said I was spacey, lethargic, and far more quiet than normal. My eyes had trouble focusing and I had trouble concentrating. I looked tired so, he made me sleep before driving home. I woke up about 3 am, drank a glass of water, drove home, wrote a post about it (which took entirely too long for me to write), and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and just... laid there. I was having trouble figuring out where my body was. It just felt numbed somehow. I called my neurologist thinking it was a side effect the the drug. I'm not sure what I said, but they made me go to the ER.

I'm not sure how I drove there to be honest. I do remember somebody honking. I'm glad it was close, but still. It's a wonder I didn't get in a wreck!

I don't remember much. A yellow floor sign. A woman writing with a marker. Another woman with brown drawn on eyebrows. A machine that had a small piece of that brown first aid tape stuck to it. A name that made me think of the green emoji face (which my normal brain has yet to figure out). I had trouble talking and thinking. I remember repeating "stay still" over and over the (I think it was) several times I was instructed to, because if I didn't, I'd forget. I'm pretty sure I left my room several times. I know I went to my car once. I remember eating food, but I only recall a pineapple cup because I realized partway that I had a spoon that I could use. I kept forgetting to tell them I was hurting when they asked. I had a headache and sick stomach. I also felt so cold and my feet were like ice, but I was running a low grade fever after all.

I started feeling a little better, but the doctor still admitted me. I had a white count, but they couldn't figure out from where. I messaged a few people to let them know what was going on finding typing easier than talking. I used that to my advantage and typed out my allergies to show a nurse.

They struggled getting the IV in, even on my hand. When it finally was in I was hooked up to fluids to keep it open. More blood taken to try and figure out what was wrong. I gave them what urine sample I could which was tinted (I couldn't help it). They had already done some type of brain scan (but I didn't remember it). I kept having minor dizzy spells, but I attributed it too all the blood they took.

They kept giving me stuff, but nothing helped my headache. It wasn't a migraine, but still very nasty. I was grateful when something finally seemed to help.

My nurse came back with lots of juice to go with my super so I'd have something to drink and a container of ice water. She was new to the hospital and hung around at times just checking on me and talking. Just a nice person. It was otherwise a lot of sleeping.

The longer I stayed, the easier it was to communicate, but the tests couldn't figure out why. They ruled out seizures and a stroke. A mini stroke was highly unlikely and didn't fit. They couldn't find an infection anywhere. My white count went back to normal. They couldn't figure it out.

That was until my nurse from the previous day came back. We just talked about general things until I made a joke about the urine sample from the day before. She asked if it was clean catch and I said yes, but just barely. That ended up causing questions and her checking charts. Turns out that despite being there since the morning before, I had peed twice (with the last time hours before). She pressed on my bladder which wasn't distended. 3 bags of fluid, 3 meals (2 of which I know I ate all of), plus whatever I drank. I had been dehydrated to the point that it had caused my white count to go up and was the reason behind my confusion, lethargy, dizziness, headache, nausea, and low urine output. I was pretty surprised. I was released before lunch.

Pushing past my limits, minor medication side effects (including one long term med), staying under an electric blanket too much to stay warm (combined with exhaustion which meant longer in bed and less time awake to drink water), and pain and constant bleeding due to my IUD... all those things combined causing it to happen. I'm still... oof. Still tired. Still weak. Still recovering. Sleeping so much that the days fly by. Drinking lots of water. And otherwise doing just fine (save for my sleep schedule going to shit again). I still love my electric blanket; it's just been temporary retired until I can get myself rehydrated again. That means my other blankets are out of the vacuum bags and piled up to keep me warm ^_^

Speaking of warm, I have my very own love bug/velcro/snuggle buddy Danny who has been on me like white on rice since I got home. He's a good boy

#bluewind talks #story time #dehydration #cat danny #danny is a good boy #tw blood mention #tw menstration #tw illness

[seifz]

756 days ago..

You made me a wonderful notebook, in which you wrote the most beautiful words with your beautiful handwriting. I've read and melted over and over for your 50 reasons why you loved me. The first time I read that notebook I was as speechless as you always get me, although I consider myself strong with words. Today I write to you as a reply to your notebook.. maybe your heart would move a little.

NOW, Remember when...?

1- When I added you on Facebook? You said you jumped in your place, and then you told Ranna, Fatema and even Noha..

I was so nervous at that moment that it almost felt like a dream, I've finally found the one I’ve been searching for for the past few months.. That dream would most likely turn into a nightmare if you had rejected and embarrassed me.

2- The first time we walked and talked, you said you've never been more nervous, but at the same time, you've never felt like yourself that way before. “You loved me from the start”.

At that very day, I was so nervous that I was practically a robot moving next to you.. I never knew what to do, and I was even more nervous when you agreed to have a drink with me, because I felt I’d look like an idiot if I ordered the milkshake I liked so much, but weirdly enough for me back then you ordered the same! You gave me the room I needed to be myself.

3- The first time you started telling me about him and about all your friends. “You swore you wanted to tell me from the very first day”.

On that day, I listened so carefully to every word you say that I still remember the details you mentioned.. I was so anxious to know about you and I was fighting myself to tell you about me; I was thinking that I don’t need to talk, my past wasn't very pretty and so depressing, I didn't wanna make that smile fade, but I decided I’d tell you anyway, you’d understand! And you did! Much to my rejoice!

4- Remember the firs time we chatted on Facebook? “Haii dude”.

I had opened the chat room and was thinking for 15 minutes what should my very first words be that my brain fried. Then I thought I should just be myself and talk to you like we’re already good friends. One of the best decisions I've ever made. How ya doin’ dude?

5- The first thing I wrote you. You said I saved you that day.

It wasn't long since we've started talking back then, and I had got to know a lot about you and I got to share a lot with you in that very short while, that I was only thinking “I should write her something that’d make her smile and actually send it”. It was God’s will that made you receive it at that very timing. I meant every word I wrote.

6- The first thing you wrote me. You named it “Magical” and by coincidence I named mine “Magical” too. “Soulmates”.

I wrote you a small, simple-worded paragraph that I thought wasn't enough or could not express what I truly felt. But it counted, and it was God’s will then too that we’d choose the exact same name. “Soulmates’ indeed.

7- Remember the Pizza? Remember the cap? “I love you”.

How could I forget?! That was our first actual date-like outing, we ordered Pizza and you did not know why I ate my pizza the way I did, but then you tried it and liked it. You said you never felt like yourself and never felt as comfortable eating with someone as you felt with me. I remember all the times I gave you my cap because you always looked so tired of the sun, I loved wearing it after your scent covered it. I thought I’d lost it until I found it about 3 weeks ago, I felt really happy then.

8- “Remember the time we sat together ganb el center abl abdelghany and my mobile was going to blow up?”

We met at the square 2 hours early, sat together, took a LOT of photos and completely ignored your phone for some reason, and when we were about to go to class and you held your phone, it was practically on fire! I also remember the basketball that flew outside the church on the way and I acted like a hotshot and tried throwing it back in. I made a complete fool out of myself blaming it on the weather.

9- “Cleopatra ya Shahrzad... remember lama a3adna nleff 7wleen b3d & for a second I thought you’re an alien w enak ekhtafeet”

I remember that day every early Saturday morning when I pass by that square. We had just finished our final chemistry exam and we sat there to study and get ready for the Maths lesson 2 hours later, and that weird man approached us reading us poetry and stories that we couldn't hear most of.. You started to freak out and we left for the statue of Ramsees. We took some photos, talked a lot, and then we wanted to look around, and for a second I couldn't find you and something felt terrible! I couldn't think of a logical reason why you’d have disappeared, and when we saw each other we started laughing. As we crossed the street going back, a car sneaked up on us and for a moment I felt horror like never before.. I couldn't bear the thought that something bad would befall you because of me..

10- “Remember the first time I told you b7bak? It just came out like this, I couldn't resist. B7bbak..”

After I sent you the very first thing I wrote you, my internet broke and when I managed to get it back, I found you as if you were waiting for me. I love you ya basbousa.

11- The first hug..?

We were sitting in our favourite spot in the square and you were feeling down. You were telling me of how you felt the previous days, and how your thoughts were suicidal. Before I knew it, you were in my arms.. Your words then made me feel as if my entire family was going to die of cancer or something.. I couldn't have responded in any other way. I never hugged you with an ill intent. I loved you truly and I still do.

12- The cinema, how you felt my breath, you “loved this feeling”, a strange feeling of warmth, you described.

“Age of Adaline”. The movie we deserve, not the movie we want. We went to watch Furious 7 and tick an agaza goal off the list, but instead we found that spectacular movie and I loved every second with you. Then when you told me of how you felt, I just felt more and more home with you.

13- The endless walks. You said we walked everywhere, masr elgedida, madinet nasr, elzamalek. We’re awesome.

We did walk everywhere! We took endless rounds in our area. In Ramadan we walked 3abas el3a2ad and it felt like forever, although it turned out to be a really short distance. And that walk after the Fine Arts exam! You were literally melting, and I forgot I had the cap and only remembered when we were almost by the Opera.

14- “Remember the first time you truly looked me in the eyes? You said “momken afdal keda lel sob7″. It was after Physics.”

I’d say that all the time, any time, every time, and I’d stare at your eyes without every being bored. Your eyes are my glasses to the fantasy land of our amazing kingdom where we sat on huge magical thrones and ruled the universe!

15- Remember the first time we held hands?

I do. Your hands in mine were always reassuring, comforting, relieving. You always had a vibe that reached me through our hands that everything would be alright eventually. I loved that.

16- Remember the first time I wrote on tumblr “I love you, what more can I say?!” “I just stared at it, I wanted to hug the mobile”.

I had only thought of that line, and suddenly, I’m watching TV, and Samir Ghanem is on a show saying the exact same line in a kinda sarcastic way. So I thought “No, this shouldn't be said that way!”, and I went down to get me some wifi signal and wrote you those words and I knew your amazing brain would read my thoughts instead of reading words on a screen. But seriously, what more can I say?!

17- Remember how we invented the ‘S’? It’s not enough now, we’re beyond the ‘S’.

The ‘S’ was never enough! You gave me those amazing nameless feelings that overflew had no end! The ‘S’ was just a simple way of naming what could not be named! We reached a level many dreamed of! We had discovered unnamed feelings and claimed them our own! ‘S’ was our initial and it should represent our true feelings through out time. I read our old conversations and I truly do feel the ‘S’ again.. You have that power.

18- Remember our semi-fight? It’s not a fight bs eddy2na. You said it showed you how much I loved you anyway.

I do remember that day, you slept annoyed at me and I could only think I did the right thing by being mad at you that way. I know you’re as pure as a flowers in Spring, but I also knew you’re as stubborn as a 11-year-old child who just wouldn't listen to what’s best for her. I loved you anyway though, because I loved those sides of you so badly.

19- Remember our excitement for the vacation? There we were checking our agaza goals list.

We had most of them checked, except eating your brownies, doing a video with Eslam Hossam, and learning to dance. But since we actually danced we could check that off the list.

20- Just keep remembering and never forget.

Trust me, there isn't a single day that passes by me that I don’t remember. I have flashbacks to entire conversations, entire days! I feel your warmth, your hands in mine, your voice next to me, your scent in my cap. I’d look at our old posts and our pictures. We made so many memories, but those memories were meant for our older selves, as in our grand-older selves, not our 2 years from now selves. I still pray to God that one day you and I would be as close as back then. My bestestest friend could never be replaced. Everythingyy can never be replaced. We've had lots of hysteric laughs together and we've poured our hearts out to each other. We said we’d never let anything happen to stop our adventurous life and we owe it to ourselves to at least honour our words. If you’re out of positive energy I’ll give you mine, if you feel like you hate everyone I’ll give you more reasons to hate them and then I’ll show you how beautiful your life is and how beautiful you are so you’d feel much better about everything. If you’re feeling like you don’t know what you want I’ll help you sort out your priorities *pun intended*. I’d love for us to have our debates on Harry Potter theories again, attend exhibits together, have long walks a lot of times more. I want to send you more songs of meaning and magnificent lyrics you’d relate to. I want to have more adventures crossing the streets with you, visit new places and watch new movies with you. I want my soulmate to just remember the awesome feelings we had and the memories we made. I want you to know that those memories can extend to forever and more. I’ll always be there for you, and I’ll love every second of your every mood. I’d listen to your deepest desires and thoughts, and I’d keep your darkest secrets! I know your life is going somewhere different now, I’d like to walk that road by your side. The people we know and the roads we take should never decide how we should grow as friends. The difference in our friends’ personalities should not determine if we should stay friends or not. We are not measured by the people we know. Trust me there’s nothing stopping us from reclaiming our golden times! I can’t believe for the life of me that everything you said was a lie. You couldn't have lied to me all that time. I just want you to try.. Try giving me one more chance; giving us one more shot! Hafag2ek wala tkuuny fakrany haawy..?! The socially awkward bookworm you knew has evolved into a Mega socially awkward bookworm.. If that’s not enough for you, that I challenge you to a magical duel to claim your heart. Cleopatra ya Shahrzad, will you be my friend again?